How to Break The Cycle of Shame and Abuse (The Best of The Menopause Movement Podcast Episode 20)

Abuse is a lot more common than a lot of us would admit.

It’s not just physical. It’s more than that and it cuts through to someone’s core.

And while it may not be directly related to menopause, some of us may be in abusive relationships.

Understanding more about how to handle, get out of and heal from an abusive relationship is so important.

Nobody deserves to be abused physically, verbally or emotionally.

In this episode of The Best of The Menopause Movement Podcast, I’m with Miki Sturges where we talk about the cycle of shame, angel syndrome PLUS:

• The cycle of abuse
• How we live in a patriarchy and how that affects abuse
• Breaking the cycle

Miki is a life coach and an expert in the field of resilience and survival from domestic abuse. She established a company called the Rise Up, Women Movement, where she aims to empower, encourage, and inspire women in conquering challenges from abuse.

One out of every four women in the United States experiences domestic violence in their lifetime. The most crucial step in getting away from this trauma is contacting a domestic abuse hotline.

If you need immediate assistance for domestic abuse, call 911, or you may call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They will provide help by assisting with crisis intervention and initial safety planning. There is also a hotline for teen victims of domestic violence, called Love Is Respect, which you can call at 1-866-331-9474.

 

What’s Discussed in This Episode:

(02:11) Miki talks about her journey and how she became a life coach.

(08:16) Leaning into your fear.

(09:13) Miki shares about her healing from an abusive marriage. "I put up the facade, I was very confident at my job, but when I went home, I was this little person, worth nothing."

(14:06) The cycle of abuse.

(20:02) How the fear of leaving affects women in an abusive marriage and why it's not easy to leave.

(21:41) Transforming beliefs.

(25:50) Emotional and verbal abuse cuts through your core.

(26:55) The cycle of shame.

(29:36) Learning to get through your subconscious.

(34:10) Miki shares how the need to protect her son was the biggest jump in finding the courage to leave her abusive husband. 

(36:55) We live in a patriarchal society, and that plays a significant role in perpetuating abuse.

(40:17) The importance of having support in escaping and recovering from abuse.

(47:55) You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings.

(49:00) What is angel syndrome?

(52:15) Approaching a relationship in a healthy marriage.

(56:47) Freeing and forgiving yourself from thoughts of the past.

(1:03:48) The Rise Up, Women Movement.

 

About the Guest:

Miki Sturges is a bilingual (Japanese-English) Women’s Empowerment coach, Abuse Recovery Ministry Leader,  Master-certified in Neuro-Coaching,  certified in Christian coaching, and Splankna Trauma Release Practitioner in training.  She helps women let go of past hurt, overcome long-standing insecurities, and get back lost confidence so that they feel empowered, capable, and worthy to step into their God-given greatness and the person they are created to be. Unlike conventional therapy or counseling, she uses her unique "G.R.A.C.E" methodology, combined with a neuroscience-b