Why You're Exhausted From Helping Everyone But Yourself with Terri Cole • 417

In this episode, you'll discover:

• How to spot the signs of high functioning codependency - the difference between healthy helping and compulsive over-functioning

• Why your advice-giving might be hurting more than helping - and how to support people without fixing them

• Two simple questions to ask before saying yes to anything - so you can stop abandoning yourself in the name of being nice

What if being the "strong one" is actually making you weaker? What if all that advice-giving, crisis-managing, and problem-solving you do for everyone else is slowly draining the life out of you?

You don't think you're codependent. You're not sitting around waiting for some addict to come home. You're not needy or clingy or desperate. Hell, you're the opposite—you're the one everyone depends on. You make the money, handle the crises, give the advice, and keep everyone's world spinning. So when someone mentions codependency, you immediately think, "That's not me. Everyone's dependent on ME."

But here's what nobody talks about: there's a brand of codependency that hides behind competence. It looks like strength, sounds like leadership, and feels like love. I spent years thinking my ability to fix everyone's problems was my greatest asset. I was the friend with all the answers, the daughter who managed family drama, the partner who handled everything so smoothly that no one even knew there were problems to handle. From the outside, my life looked like I had it all together. On the inside, I was drowning in everyone else's emotional chaos while completely abandoning my own needs.

Today our guest is Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert who coined the term "high functioning codependency" after seeing the same patterns show up repeatedly in her practice with successful, accomplished women. She's the author of "Too Much" and has spent decades helping people recognize and break free from these invisible chains.

Links from the episode:

• Show Notes: mindlove.com/417
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