March 4, 2024 • 19 mins
This week, we’re starting at the very beginning.
You’ve decided you have a goal – maybe you want to become an accountant, or pass your driving test, or run a marathon. Congrats!
So, why can it be so hard to start something new, even if we want to? What is it about fresh challenges that can either light us up or make us shy away? And what might help us take the first step?
This week, we sit down with five-board accredited life coach Michelle Elman. Known as the Queen of Boundaries, Michelle is an author, broadcaster, and public speaker, and all-round expert in helping people face their demons and rise to personal challenges.
From coping with pre-exam nerves to dealing with envy when people post their wins on social media, we’re looking at how we can clear the path ahead and get working on our goals.
This is On Your Marks. Because you’ll never know until you try.
Hit follow now so you never miss an episode, and let us know what you think by leaving a rating or review.
For more information about ACCA exams, you can go to www.accaglobal.com/exams
To watch the video version of this podcast, head to www.accaglobal.com/onyourmarks
On Your Marks is a Fresh Air Production for ACCA. The Senior Producer is Eva Higginbotham, with support from Sarah Moore. The Executive Producer is Annie Day. The videographer is Yohan Forbes. The Sound Engineer is Basil Oxtoby. The Assistant Producer is Bukky Fadipe. The Marketing Manager is Nik Gandhi.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Student 1 (00:01):
A real wreck to be honest.
Student 2 (00:04):
I didn't believe in myself.
Student 3 (00:05):
I start panicking. It just goes against me because I
get really negative thoughts.
Student 4 (00:09):
Everything you've done up to that point, that's all that
you could have done now and that potentially might not
be enough.
Krutika Adatia (00:16):
Any of that sound familiar? Hello, I'm Krutika Adatia, and I'm
a chartered accountant who now supports students through their accountancy training.
Deciding to pursue an accountancy qualification like ACCA is an
amazing first step on the road to an awesome career.
But we all know that it's a challenging journey. And as
an educator, I've seen it all. Maybe you keep putting
(00:39):
off booking your first exam, or you failed an exam
and can't bring yourself to try again, or maybe you
just need some support. Wherever you're at in your journey
towards qualification, this new series from ACCA is here to
help you tackle the process head on. I'll be sitting
down with experts to take a holistic look at how
we can all better handle whatever life throws at us.
(01:01):
From facing big challenges...
Michelle Elman (01:03):
I failed seven times before I passed, and that was
seven times on automatic.
Krutika Adatia (01:07):
to taking care of tiny details...
Sarah D Rees (01:09):
Think about those little hits of dopamine, or having a
bar of chocolate in the kitchen where after I've done
a certain task I can go and help myself to it.
Krutika Adatia (01:18):
And celebrating the triumphs along the way...
Josh Wintersgill (01:20):
I'll never forget, I came out of Sir Stelios' office
and my dad was outside and we just basically high
fived as soon as we got to the end of the road.
Krutika Adatia (01:27):
This is On Your Marks, because you'll never know until
you try. This time we are starting at the very beginning and that
is, w hy can it be so hard to start something new,
even if we want to? What is it about new
challenges that can either light us up or make us
shy away? And what might help us take the first step?
(01:48):
I remember when I started working as an accountancy tutor
at a well- known college - teaching was absolutely my passion,
but I found it really nerve wracking. I was so
nervous before every class. Anxiety is still a work in
progress for me, especially when I'm doing something for the
first time - like hosting this podcast! So with me today,
I've got Michelle Elman. She's a five- board accredited life coach, author, broadcaster,
(02:13):
and public speaker. She's an all- round expert in helping
people face their demons and rise to their personal challenges.
So Michelle, have you ever struggled with something that you
know needed to get started with?
Michelle Elman (02:26):
Yeah, absolutely. The first thing that probably comes to mind
is my driving license. I failed seven times before I passed.
And that was seven times on automatic which, when I
tell people that, they always think, " You really shouldn't be
on the road!" But I think anything unfamiliar, anything that
you're doing new for the first time is not going
to be automatic to you. You've got to have to
learn a skill, whatever it is, whether it's driving or
(02:48):
studying for an exam, and so you are not going to be
good at it first. This notion that there will be
a day where you'll be ready doesn't exist. And the
perfect example was when I was training to be a
life coach, we all graduated on the same day. And
I had a class of maybe 20 people and I
remember I launched my website within maybe a month. And
a lot of my colleagues were like, " Oh, I'm still
perfecting the website." By the time one of my colleagues
(03:11):
launched his website, I had already revised my website four
times because I had actually gone out there, got clients
and altered and changed it according to what I was
actually seeing in the world. But because he hadn't adventured
out there at all, he didn't know how to adapt it.
Of course, when you're starting a new industry and you're
starting a new job, you are going to learn things,
you're going to learn things rapidly on the go, and
(03:33):
that was the way I was doing it. But he
was like, " How do you have a full roster of
clients and I've only just launched my website?" Well, because
I was willing to try, fail, and do it again.
And repeat that over and over until my website was
the kind of website getting me the clients I wanted.
Krutika Adatia (03:45):
Reminds me of a quote actually that I think Mark
Twain has said, " The secret to getting ahead is getting
started." So that's a great example of that.
Michelle Elman (03:53):
It's absolutely that. Everyone was a beginner at some point.
And it's going into it with the mindset of... Instead
of this automatic pass or fail mindset, look at failure
as feedback. I always think it's not a failure if
you actually learn from it, and you grow from it
and you apply it to your next lesson in life.
Krutika Adatia (04:10):
Michelle, obviously when we have something like a setback like
this, often we're feeling anxious. Where is it that anxiety
potentially comes from in these situations? Can you talk to
us a little bit about that?
Michelle Elman (04:21):
Anxiety within life coaching is viewed as fear in the
future. So if you think about anytime you've been anxious
in life, let's say it's a car crash. You are
driving and you're worrying about your car crashing, your body's
actually going to exemplify all those symptoms already as if
the car crash is happening right now, because the brain
doesn't know the difference between real and imagined. The same
(04:42):
happens with an exam. If you're picturing yourself failing an
exam, your brain doesn't know it's not happening right now.
It doesn't know that it's something you are imagining in
the future because the picture in your brain is already
happening and your body's already reacting to it. So whether
it's the sweaty palms, whether it's sweat in general, or
whether it's that higher heart rate, the higher blood pressure,
(05:02):
whatever it is, it's already happening in your body now,
which unfortunately then is almost counterintuitive, doesn't help you pass
the exam.
Krutika Adatia (05:09):
That's interesting. So you're talking about the ways that anxiety
can come across in terms of physiological reactions, right?
Michelle Elman (05:16):
It comes down to the fact that it's fear in
the future. So for you to create it you have
to be thinking about the future, but if you actually
stay present in the moment, then the anxiety can't exist.
So your anxiety about failing your exam can't exist if
you're sitting in your chair right now and focusing on
the pen in your hand, focusing on your breathing. That
anxiety can only arise if the feeling and the sensation
(05:38):
in your body are one and the same.
Krutika Adatia (05:39):
It's interesting you mentioned the racing heart. I know when I get anxious
I get that racing heart, the butterfly feeling in my stomach.
How can I actually manage that? I know you talk
about being present. What sort of strategies w hat can students
actually do? What can our listeners do to manage that?
Michelle Elman (05:54):
It's a twofold thing. You have two nervous systems. One
is a stress nervous system called your sympathetic nervous system,
and a calm nervous system called your parasympathetic nervous system.
The fastest way to get into your relaxed nervous system,
so your parasympathetic nervous system, is to control your breathing,
where your exhale needs to be longer than your inhale.
If you change your breathing and you focus on that, it's an
(06:17):
automatic sign to your body that you are safe, you
don't need to go into fight or flight. And when
you're in fight or flight, that's when you're not going to be
able to access any information. If you look at it
from an evolutionary perspective, if you are about to fight a tiger,
your blood's not necessarily going to your cognitive processes where
you're able to think clearly because you are in that all or
nothing mindset. So breathing is the first thing. But also,
(06:40):
the other thing is if your brain wants to go
to the future, then do it in a positive way.
The two sentences I would ask yourself is, " How would
I be feeling right now if I knew I was
going to pass this exam and do the best I've
ever done in any exam ever?" I make it very
extreme because then your brain can't battle it. And then
the other thing is, " How would I leave the exam
(07:03):
if I knew I had done the best job I
could do?" So it's about the present, but then it's
also about the future. If you can imagine yourself walking
out of the exam hall... This really helps if you
know what the exam hall looks like, so even if
you're standing right outside the exam hall and you're about
to go in, just imagine yourself walking out the exact
same door and going, " Oh!" All of that relief. How
(07:26):
would you feel? You would feel relief. You would feel
proud of yourself. And actually focusing on that. And if
you find it hard to access those emotions, then all
you need to do is go into your past and go, "
When was the last time I was really proud of myself?
Maybe it was when I did my GCSEs." Go into
that moment of opening that envelope, seeing your results and
being so proud of yourself. Remember how you were feeling at
(07:47):
the time, go back into your body at the time.
Sometimes it helps closing your eyes, imagining yourself back in
the body, opening it. How are you breathing? How are you sitting?
How are you standing? And then when you imagine it
in the past, your physiology will mimic how you acted
back then. And so now you can feel that feeling
of pride, feeling of relief in the present, but that
(08:09):
means in the future you can imagine yourself walking out
that door already feeling that way.
Krutika Adatia (08:13):
So when you're starting something new, what are some of
the factors that can make it really difficult to actually
get started with that new thing that you're starting off with?
Michelle Elman (08:20):
I think sometimes our goals are too big. So if
your goal is to be an accountant, you are looking
at so many mini goals within that and actually if
you set a mini goal, it's a lot more achievable.
You get the win from achieving the goal and then
that gives you more momentum to go onto the next
step. But when you're looking at the bigger picture, it can
be really daunting and also uncertain because it feels like
(08:41):
you need to know all the answers in order to
get there. But actually going through the process will reveal
answers and you might change your mind. So actually deciding, "
Okay, what's the first step I need to do," and
making a goal around that. And when you set goals,
you want to make it as specific as possible. So
the date you want to achieve it by, what exactly
you want to achieve, and also some suggested ways as
(09:04):
to how to get there. Sometimes we don't know how
we're going to achieve a goal, but we just need
to figure out the first few steps so that we
can get on that road. And then it almost takes
care of itself because it's all of that momentum. And
you get that self- esteem from doing something rather than
waiting on that self- esteem appearing for no reason.
Krutika Adatia (09:22):
Now obviously we live in a society where we're constantly
seeing other people and their life stories on social media.
And when we think about our specific learners, especially when results
come out, we see results being posted on social media.
That comparison is something that's obviously something we end up
naturally doing. How can we stop ourselves from comparing?
Michelle Elman (09:44):
The interesting thing about comparison on social media, especially when
it comes to work accomplishments, is that we see the
accomplishment and we take it away from the context. There's
often a lot of work behind any accomplishment that anyone
posts on social media, but it's so easy to go, " Oh,
it's really easy for them." And you have to be
aware of the story you're telling yourself and actually go
(10:05):
back to what the facts are. The fact is they
passed their exam, and you might be looking at that
picture and feeling jealous because you've not booked yours yet
you are too scared to book yours yet. And actually
instead of looking at it as jealousy, look at it
as inspiration that that's actually spotlighting something that you really
desire as well. And actually, instead of looking downwards, which
is often a jealousy perspective, looking upwards and going, " Good
(10:28):
for them, I'm really proud of them. I might not
feel that way right now, but that's just spotlighting the
thing that I need to work on. And I'd feel
too scared to book the test, but maybe this is
the momentum I needed to actually hit that button and
book it." And I think when it comes to booking tests,
you don't have to feel ready in that moment because
I think a lot of the time when it comes
to taking that next step, we want to be confident
(10:51):
already when actually the fear doesn't really disappear at any point.
So I always say do it scared, the fear is
not going to stop you unless you decide it can
stop you. And Brené Brown often talks about how fear
can be in the car, just not in the driver's seat.
So don't let fear make the decision, but it's allowed
to exist.
Krutika Adatia (11:08):
What role does confidence then play in this? Because you
did allude to the point about you don't need to
be fully confident at that point, but can you talk
to us a little bit about the role of confidence
in all of this?
Michelle Elman (11:17):
Well, I think confidence can be a lofty topic because
what is it really measured by? And I think ultimately
what it comes down to is your internal monologue. And
if you're having conversations about how rubbish you are or
how you can't study very well or how you have
an awful memory, it can become a self- fulfilling prophecy.
And so a lot of your confidence is actually down
(11:38):
to believing in yourself and knowing that you're capable. But
that doesn't mean you have to know you're going to
boss the exam. It's the fact that you need to
be able to know that whatever happens, you'll be okay.
And if it doesn't go well, you can take it
again and that you're going to be confident enough to
be able to take that risk.
Krutika Adatia (11:57):
So it's about quieting that critical voice in your head.
Now I'm just thinking about learners that are coming through
our accountancy qualification and potentially might have challenges like dyslexia
or ADHD. What would your advice be to the students
struggling with these sorts of challenges?
Michelle Elman (12:14):
Figure out what works for your brain. So I went
through the academic route and I found that really difficult
as a dyslexic. And I struggled with that in my
own life and especially around exams. I just found that
I never performed at my best because it was just
not the best method for me to learn. I remember
the time I was most insecure was the third year
(12:36):
of university when it was high pressure, everyone's trying to
pass their dissertations, and then we have exams coming up.
And all my friends would go to the library from
six o'clock in the morning and come back at 11
o'clock at night, and I just couldn't. I didn't like studying
in a library. There were too many people around me.
It really distracted my brain. I also can't work that
consistently. So I can work for max 45 minutes, but
(12:58):
I need a break. And what I actually found was
the time I was most productive is if I did
45 minutes on, 45 minutes TV show, and I would
alternate it. But the amount of work... And I still
use this today when I'm writing books. I will do
20 minutes of work now, and 40 minutes of a
TV show. And that sounds so counterintuitive because the amount
of time technically I'm working is shorter than the amount
(13:21):
of time I'm relaxing. But in those 40 minutes, you're
not relaxing, you're absorbing the information. Being creative. You're thinking
of new ways, you're incorporating that new thing you're learning
into the things you've already learned. Letting your brain rest is
such a crucial part of it. And especially the way
they were going to the library at 6
the morning until 11
(13:41):
sleep. I have a lot of chronic illnesses and if
I can't sleep, I can't remember anything. But also there's
no point in me going to the library with a headache.
So if I needed an extra two hours of sleep
to actually be able to remember the things, then I
was going to go do that. That last year forced
me to go, " Why am I trying to do it
the way everyone else is doing it," and actually just do
it my way. And I passed my exams and I got
(14:03):
a wonderful 2
I did it my way. Just because I worked less
hours technically, doesn't mean I was working less productively. I
was doing what was efficient for my brain. And I
think sometimes we get so hooked up on the length
of time you study rather than the quality of studying
you're doing.
Krutika Adatia (14:23):
And that's a really important point, isn't it? Finding what
works for you. And that actually brings me on to another question
that I wanted to ask, which is around the importance
of taking care of yourself during this time. How important
is that when you're going through a new challenge like
studying for an exam?
Michelle Elman (14:38):
I think exams particularly, there's this looming thing where you
feel like anytime you take a break it could be
used more productively. And that's almost shaming yourself into not
letting yourself rest. But I always say, " You can take
a break before you have a breakdown." And I think
it's so important, especially when you're trying to remember huge
amounts of information, you need your sleep more than ever.
(15:00):
You deserve to take a break. And in that final
year of university, I remember my friends wouldn't even go
for lunch. This is three months of us heavily studying.
It was both the dissertation and also the exams. And
you need to be able to go for lunch once
in a while, like go out for a meal. Or
even just having some time as housemates in our flat
(15:20):
would've been lovely. But all day, every day, working non-
stop is not the way to maximize your best potential.
And I think understanding that just because you're taking a
day off, or just because you're going out for lunch,
or even going on a night out, doesn't mean you're
lazy. It doesn't mean you're not being productive. Actually, that
stuff works hand in hand with being able to perform
(15:40):
your best.
Krutika Adatia (15:41):
I love that. And the phrase that you've just said, "
you need a break before you break down," that's a
great one. I probably need to remind myself to do
a bit more of that when I'm feeling overwhelmed. So
really, how can we get our students to get into
the best pre- exam mindset then?
Michelle Elman (15:57):
Well, I think you have to be so conscious of
the things that you tell yourself around, " I'm going to fail.
This is not going to go well." Being conscious of
that and then trying to reverse it. So one of
the things that I use within a lot of personal
development is something I call evidences, where at the end
of every night I write three things I'm grateful for,
or three things I'm proud of, or three things I
(16:18):
learned that day would be a great one to do
around exams. And actually focusing on what you do know
rather than focusing on what you don't know. There's always
going to be more to learn, but trying to go
for the quantity of stuff you know is not always best.
And sometimes you focus on all the other chapters there
are to learn, to read, all of that, when actually
you've already done so much. And if you don't focus
(16:39):
on what you already know and take some time to
consolidate that, then going forward isn't going to be any
more help. You haven't utilised what you've already learned. And
so at the end of every day, if you can
write three things you're proud of, or three things you've learned,
or three things that you did to make yourself proud
or to impress yourself. Those are ways you can change
that inner dialogue and make it more positive.
Krutika Adatia (17:00):
I love that. Just writing down what you've learned during
the day. And actually, I remember when I was a student,
that was a technique I tried to adopt. At the
end of the day be like, " Right, what are the five
things I remember?" That idea of repetition, being retention as well.
Thank you, Michelle. Before we wrap up, just wanted to ask,
are there three strategies that you could give us? I
know you've given us loads of golden nuggets through this
(17:22):
conversation but if you could give us three things that
students can think about to manage their anxiety when they're
starting off, what would you say?
Michelle Elman (17:30):
The first thing I would say is do a massive sigh.
When you sit down at your desk to do the
exam do a massive sigh. It tricks your brain into
thinking that it's already done. And then there's another thing
called the psychological sigh, and that's when you do two
in breaths and one out breath. And you make the
out breath more forceful, but the two in breaths... It's
called the psychological sigh because, again, it goes into that
(17:52):
calm nervous system. Then if your brain starts going crazy
or your brain just won't be quiet and you're sitting
there and you're about to start the exam, something you
can do is you can focus on your senses. So
five things you are touching right now, whether it's the
chair or the floor with your feet, or I'm touching
the table. Focusing on what you can see, maybe you
(18:12):
can see four things around you. Name four things you
can see around you, obviously not out loud if you're
in the exam hall. What can you smell? What can you touch? What
can you taste? All of those things ground you into
the present and where you are right now. And then
also try to enjoy it. That sounds so weird when
it comes to exams, but actually going into it being
like, "This is the time I get to prove myself." Rising
(18:34):
to the challenge. Seeing it as a challenge rather than
a threat to you. It's also the close of a
chapter because if you've been studying, it's been so many
months that, actually, this is the time... And if you
come into it with a bit more... Almost as if like "
show me what you got!" attitude, as opposed to like, " Oh,
this is really severe and serious. And if this doesn't
(18:58):
work then I don't know what I'll do." That will
put your brain into shutdown mode a lot faster than
looking at it being like, " This is a challenge and I'm
going to boss it."
Krutika Adatia (19:06):
Amazing. Love that. Breathing, grounding, and enjoying the journey.
Michelle Elman (19:10):
Yes.
Krutika Adatia (19:10):
Thank you so much, Michelle.
Michelle Elman (19:12):
Thank you.
Krutika Adatia (19:13):
That's it from this episode of On Your Marks. For
more information about ACCA exams, you can go to www. accaglobal. com/ exams.
And to watch the video version of this podcast, check
out the link in the show notes. See you next time.
I'm Krutika Adatia, and this has been On Your Marks.
A real wreck to be honest.
Student 2 (00:04):
I didn't believe in myself.
Student 3 (00:05):
I start panicking. It just goes against me because I
get really negative thoughts.
Student 4 (00:09):
Everything you've done up to that point, that's all that
you could have done now and that potentially might not
be enough.
Krutika Adatia (00:16):
Any of that sound familiar? Hello, I'm Krutika Adatia, and I'm
a chartered accountant who now supports students through their accountancy training.
Deciding to pursue an accountancy qualification like ACCA is an
amazing first step on the road to an awesome career.
But we all know that it's a challenging journey. And as
an educator, I've seen it all. Maybe you keep putting
(00:39):
off booking your first exam, or you failed an exam
and can't bring yourself to try again, or maybe you
just need some support. Wherever you're at in your journey
towards qualification, this new series from ACCA is here to
help you tackle the process head on. I'll be sitting
down with experts to take a holistic look at how
we can all better handle whatever life throws at us.
(01:01):
From facing big challenges...
Michelle Elman (01:03):
I failed seven times before I passed, and that was
seven times on automatic.
Krutika Adatia (01:07):
to taking care of tiny details...
Sarah D Rees (01:09):
Think about those little hits of dopamine, or having a
bar of chocolate in the kitchen where after I've done
a certain task I can go and help myself to it.
Krutika Adatia (01:18):
And celebrating the triumphs along the way...
Josh Wintersgill (01:20):
I'll never forget, I came out of Sir Stelios' office
and my dad was outside and we just basically high
fived as soon as we got to the end of the road.
Krutika Adatia (01:27):
This is On Your Marks, because you'll never know until
you try. This time we are starting at the very beginning and that
is, w hy can it be so hard to start something new,
even if we want to? What is it about new
challenges that can either light us up or make us
shy away? And what might help us take the first step?
(01:48):
I remember when I started working as an accountancy tutor
at a well- known college - teaching was absolutely my passion,
but I found it really nerve wracking. I was so
nervous before every class. Anxiety is still a work in
progress for me, especially when I'm doing something for the
first time - like hosting this podcast! So with me today,
I've got Michelle Elman. She's a five- board accredited life coach, author, broadcaster,
(02:13):
and public speaker. She's an all- round expert in helping
people face their demons and rise to their personal challenges.
So Michelle, have you ever struggled with something that you
know needed to get started with?
Michelle Elman (02:26):
Yeah, absolutely. The first thing that probably comes to mind
is my driving license. I failed seven times before I passed.
And that was seven times on automatic which, when I
tell people that, they always think, " You really shouldn't be
on the road!" But I think anything unfamiliar, anything that
you're doing new for the first time is not going
to be automatic to you. You've got to have to
learn a skill, whatever it is, whether it's driving or
(02:48):
studying for an exam, and so you are not going to be
good at it first. This notion that there will be
a day where you'll be ready doesn't exist. And the
perfect example was when I was training to be a
life coach, we all graduated on the same day. And
I had a class of maybe 20 people and I
remember I launched my website within maybe a month. And
a lot of my colleagues were like, " Oh, I'm still
perfecting the website." By the time one of my colleagues
(03:11):
launched his website, I had already revised my website four
times because I had actually gone out there, got clients
and altered and changed it according to what I was
actually seeing in the world. But because he hadn't adventured
out there at all, he didn't know how to adapt it.
Of course, when you're starting a new industry and you're
starting a new job, you are going to learn things,
you're going to learn things rapidly on the go, and
(03:33):
that was the way I was doing it. But he
was like, " How do you have a full roster of
clients and I've only just launched my website?" Well, because
I was willing to try, fail, and do it again.
And repeat that over and over until my website was
the kind of website getting me the clients I wanted.
Krutika Adatia (03:45):
Reminds me of a quote actually that I think Mark
Twain has said, " The secret to getting ahead is getting
started." So that's a great example of that.
Michelle Elman (03:53):
It's absolutely that. Everyone was a beginner at some point.
And it's going into it with the mindset of... Instead
of this automatic pass or fail mindset, look at failure
as feedback. I always think it's not a failure if
you actually learn from it, and you grow from it
and you apply it to your next lesson in life.
Krutika Adatia (04:10):
Michelle, obviously when we have something like a setback like
this, often we're feeling anxious. Where is it that anxiety
potentially comes from in these situations? Can you talk to
us a little bit about that?
Michelle Elman (04:21):
Anxiety within life coaching is viewed as fear in the
future. So if you think about anytime you've been anxious
in life, let's say it's a car crash. You are
driving and you're worrying about your car crashing, your body's
actually going to exemplify all those symptoms already as if
the car crash is happening right now, because the brain
doesn't know the difference between real and imagined. The same
(04:42):
happens with an exam. If you're picturing yourself failing an
exam, your brain doesn't know it's not happening right now.
It doesn't know that it's something you are imagining in
the future because the picture in your brain is already
happening and your body's already reacting to it. So whether
it's the sweaty palms, whether it's sweat in general, or
whether it's that higher heart rate, the higher blood pressure,
(05:02):
whatever it is, it's already happening in your body now,
which unfortunately then is almost counterintuitive, doesn't help you pass
the exam.
Krutika Adatia (05:09):
That's interesting. So you're talking about the ways that anxiety
can come across in terms of physiological reactions, right?
Michelle Elman (05:16):
It comes down to the fact that it's fear in
the future. So for you to create it you have
to be thinking about the future, but if you actually
stay present in the moment, then the anxiety can't exist.
So your anxiety about failing your exam can't exist if
you're sitting in your chair right now and focusing on
the pen in your hand, focusing on your breathing. That
anxiety can only arise if the feeling and the sensation
(05:38):
in your body are one and the same.
Krutika Adatia (05:39):
It's interesting you mentioned the racing heart. I know when I get anxious
I get that racing heart, the butterfly feeling in my stomach.
How can I actually manage that? I know you talk
about being present. What sort of strategies w hat can students
actually do? What can our listeners do to manage that?
Michelle Elman (05:54):
It's a twofold thing. You have two nervous systems. One
is a stress nervous system called your sympathetic nervous system,
and a calm nervous system called your parasympathetic nervous system.
The fastest way to get into your relaxed nervous system,
so your parasympathetic nervous system, is to control your breathing,
where your exhale needs to be longer than your inhale.
If you change your breathing and you focus on that, it's an
(06:17):
automatic sign to your body that you are safe, you
don't need to go into fight or flight. And when
you're in fight or flight, that's when you're not going to be
able to access any information. If you look at it
from an evolutionary perspective, if you are about to fight a tiger,
your blood's not necessarily going to your cognitive processes where
you're able to think clearly because you are in that all or
nothing mindset. So breathing is the first thing. But also,
(06:40):
the other thing is if your brain wants to go
to the future, then do it in a positive way.
The two sentences I would ask yourself is, " How would
I be feeling right now if I knew I was
going to pass this exam and do the best I've
ever done in any exam ever?" I make it very
extreme because then your brain can't battle it. And then
the other thing is, " How would I leave the exam
(07:03):
if I knew I had done the best job I
could do?" So it's about the present, but then it's
also about the future. If you can imagine yourself walking
out of the exam hall... This really helps if you
know what the exam hall looks like, so even if
you're standing right outside the exam hall and you're about
to go in, just imagine yourself walking out the exact
same door and going, " Oh!" All of that relief. How
(07:26):
would you feel? You would feel relief. You would feel
proud of yourself. And actually focusing on that. And if
you find it hard to access those emotions, then all
you need to do is go into your past and go, "
When was the last time I was really proud of myself?
Maybe it was when I did my GCSEs." Go into
that moment of opening that envelope, seeing your results and
being so proud of yourself. Remember how you were feeling at
(07:47):
the time, go back into your body at the time.
Sometimes it helps closing your eyes, imagining yourself back in
the body, opening it. How are you breathing? How are you sitting?
How are you standing? And then when you imagine it
in the past, your physiology will mimic how you acted
back then. And so now you can feel that feeling
of pride, feeling of relief in the present, but that
(08:09):
means in the future you can imagine yourself walking out
that door already feeling that way.
Krutika Adatia (08:13):
So when you're starting something new, what are some of
the factors that can make it really difficult to actually
get started with that new thing that you're starting off with?
Michelle Elman (08:20):
I think sometimes our goals are too big. So if
your goal is to be an accountant, you are looking
at so many mini goals within that and actually if
you set a mini goal, it's a lot more achievable.
You get the win from achieving the goal and then
that gives you more momentum to go onto the next
step. But when you're looking at the bigger picture, it can
be really daunting and also uncertain because it feels like
(08:41):
you need to know all the answers in order to
get there. But actually going through the process will reveal
answers and you might change your mind. So actually deciding, "
Okay, what's the first step I need to do," and
making a goal around that. And when you set goals,
you want to make it as specific as possible. So
the date you want to achieve it by, what exactly
you want to achieve, and also some suggested ways as
(09:04):
to how to get there. Sometimes we don't know how
we're going to achieve a goal, but we just need
to figure out the first few steps so that we
can get on that road. And then it almost takes
care of itself because it's all of that momentum. And
you get that self- esteem from doing something rather than
waiting on that self- esteem appearing for no reason.
Krutika Adatia (09:22):
Now obviously we live in a society where we're constantly
seeing other people and their life stories on social media.
And when we think about our specific learners, especially when results
come out, we see results being posted on social media.
That comparison is something that's obviously something we end up
naturally doing. How can we stop ourselves from comparing?
Michelle Elman (09:44):
The interesting thing about comparison on social media, especially when
it comes to work accomplishments, is that we see the
accomplishment and we take it away from the context. There's
often a lot of work behind any accomplishment that anyone
posts on social media, but it's so easy to go, " Oh,
it's really easy for them." And you have to be
aware of the story you're telling yourself and actually go
(10:05):
back to what the facts are. The fact is they
passed their exam, and you might be looking at that
picture and feeling jealous because you've not booked yours yet
you are too scared to book yours yet. And actually
instead of looking at it as jealousy, look at it
as inspiration that that's actually spotlighting something that you really
desire as well. And actually, instead of looking downwards, which
is often a jealousy perspective, looking upwards and going, " Good
(10:28):
for them, I'm really proud of them. I might not
feel that way right now, but that's just spotlighting the
thing that I need to work on. And I'd feel
too scared to book the test, but maybe this is
the momentum I needed to actually hit that button and
book it." And I think when it comes to booking tests,
you don't have to feel ready in that moment because
I think a lot of the time when it comes
to taking that next step, we want to be confident
(10:51):
already when actually the fear doesn't really disappear at any point.
So I always say do it scared, the fear is
not going to stop you unless you decide it can
stop you. And Brené Brown often talks about how fear
can be in the car, just not in the driver's seat.
So don't let fear make the decision, but it's allowed
to exist.
Krutika Adatia (11:08):
What role does confidence then play in this? Because you
did allude to the point about you don't need to
be fully confident at that point, but can you talk
to us a little bit about the role of confidence
in all of this?
Michelle Elman (11:17):
Well, I think confidence can be a lofty topic because
what is it really measured by? And I think ultimately
what it comes down to is your internal monologue. And
if you're having conversations about how rubbish you are or
how you can't study very well or how you have
an awful memory, it can become a self- fulfilling prophecy.
And so a lot of your confidence is actually down
(11:38):
to believing in yourself and knowing that you're capable. But
that doesn't mean you have to know you're going to
boss the exam. It's the fact that you need to
be able to know that whatever happens, you'll be okay.
And if it doesn't go well, you can take it
again and that you're going to be confident enough to
be able to take that risk.
Krutika Adatia (11:57):
So it's about quieting that critical voice in your head.
Now I'm just thinking about learners that are coming through
our accountancy qualification and potentially might have challenges like dyslexia
or ADHD. What would your advice be to the students
struggling with these sorts of challenges?
Michelle Elman (12:14):
Figure out what works for your brain. So I went
through the academic route and I found that really difficult
as a dyslexic. And I struggled with that in my
own life and especially around exams. I just found that
I never performed at my best because it was just
not the best method for me to learn. I remember
the time I was most insecure was the third year
(12:36):
of university when it was high pressure, everyone's trying to
pass their dissertations, and then we have exams coming up.
And all my friends would go to the library from
six o'clock in the morning and come back at 11
o'clock at night, and I just couldn't. I didn't like studying
in a library. There were too many people around me.
It really distracted my brain. I also can't work that
consistently. So I can work for max 45 minutes, but
(12:58):
I need a break. And what I actually found was
the time I was most productive is if I did
45 minutes on, 45 minutes TV show, and I would
alternate it. But the amount of work... And I still
use this today when I'm writing books. I will do
20 minutes of work now, and 40 minutes of a
TV show. And that sounds so counterintuitive because the amount
of time technically I'm working is shorter than the amount
(13:21):
of time I'm relaxing. But in those 40 minutes, you're
not relaxing, you're absorbing the information. Being creative. You're thinking
of new ways, you're incorporating that new thing you're learning
into the things you've already learned. Letting your brain rest is
such a crucial part of it. And especially the way
they were going to the library at 6
the morning until 11
(13:41):
sleep. I have a lot of chronic illnesses and if
I can't sleep, I can't remember anything. But also there's
no point in me going to the library with a headache.
So if I needed an extra two hours of sleep
to actually be able to remember the things, then I
was going to go do that. That last year forced
me to go, " Why am I trying to do it
the way everyone else is doing it," and actually just do
it my way. And I passed my exams and I got
(14:03):
a wonderful 2
I did it my way. Just because I worked less
hours technically, doesn't mean I was working less productively. I
was doing what was efficient for my brain. And I
think sometimes we get so hooked up on the length
of time you study rather than the quality of studying
you're doing.
Krutika Adatia (14:23):
And that's a really important point, isn't it? Finding what
works for you. And that actually brings me on to another question
that I wanted to ask, which is around the importance
of taking care of yourself during this time. How important
is that when you're going through a new challenge like
studying for an exam?
Michelle Elman (14:38):
I think exams particularly, there's this looming thing where you
feel like anytime you take a break it could be
used more productively. And that's almost shaming yourself into not
letting yourself rest. But I always say, " You can take
a break before you have a breakdown." And I think
it's so important, especially when you're trying to remember huge
amounts of information, you need your sleep more than ever.
(15:00):
You deserve to take a break. And in that final
year of university, I remember my friends wouldn't even go
for lunch. This is three months of us heavily studying.
It was both the dissertation and also the exams. And
you need to be able to go for lunch once
in a while, like go out for a meal. Or
even just having some time as housemates in our flat
(15:20):
would've been lovely. But all day, every day, working non-
stop is not the way to maximize your best potential.
And I think understanding that just because you're taking a
day off, or just because you're going out for lunch,
or even going on a night out, doesn't mean you're
lazy. It doesn't mean you're not being productive. Actually, that
stuff works hand in hand with being able to perform
(15:40):
your best.
Krutika Adatia (15:41):
I love that. And the phrase that you've just said, "
you need a break before you break down," that's a
great one. I probably need to remind myself to do
a bit more of that when I'm feeling overwhelmed. So
really, how can we get our students to get into
the best pre- exam mindset then?
Michelle Elman (15:57):
Well, I think you have to be so conscious of
the things that you tell yourself around, " I'm going to fail.
This is not going to go well." Being conscious of
that and then trying to reverse it. So one of
the things that I use within a lot of personal
development is something I call evidences, where at the end
of every night I write three things I'm grateful for,
or three things I'm proud of, or three things I
(16:18):
learned that day would be a great one to do
around exams. And actually focusing on what you do know
rather than focusing on what you don't know. There's always
going to be more to learn, but trying to go
for the quantity of stuff you know is not always best.
And sometimes you focus on all the other chapters there
are to learn, to read, all of that, when actually
you've already done so much. And if you don't focus
(16:39):
on what you already know and take some time to
consolidate that, then going forward isn't going to be any
more help. You haven't utilised what you've already learned. And
so at the end of every day, if you can
write three things you're proud of, or three things you've learned,
or three things that you did to make yourself proud
or to impress yourself. Those are ways you can change
that inner dialogue and make it more positive.
Krutika Adatia (17:00):
I love that. Just writing down what you've learned during
the day. And actually, I remember when I was a student,
that was a technique I tried to adopt. At the
end of the day be like, " Right, what are the five
things I remember?" That idea of repetition, being retention as well.
Thank you, Michelle. Before we wrap up, just wanted to ask,
are there three strategies that you could give us? I
know you've given us loads of golden nuggets through this
(17:22):
conversation but if you could give us three things that
students can think about to manage their anxiety when they're
starting off, what would you say?
Michelle Elman (17:30):
The first thing I would say is do a massive sigh.
When you sit down at your desk to do the
exam do a massive sigh. It tricks your brain into
thinking that it's already done. And then there's another thing
called the psychological sigh, and that's when you do two
in breaths and one out breath. And you make the
out breath more forceful, but the two in breaths... It's
called the psychological sigh because, again, it goes into that
(17:52):
calm nervous system. Then if your brain starts going crazy
or your brain just won't be quiet and you're sitting
there and you're about to start the exam, something you
can do is you can focus on your senses. So
five things you are touching right now, whether it's the
chair or the floor with your feet, or I'm touching
the table. Focusing on what you can see, maybe you
(18:12):
can see four things around you. Name four things you
can see around you, obviously not out loud if you're
in the exam hall. What can you smell? What can you touch? What
can you taste? All of those things ground you into
the present and where you are right now. And then
also try to enjoy it. That sounds so weird when
it comes to exams, but actually going into it being
like, "This is the time I get to prove myself." Rising
(18:34):
to the challenge. Seeing it as a challenge rather than
a threat to you. It's also the close of a
chapter because if you've been studying, it's been so many
months that, actually, this is the time... And if you
come into it with a bit more... Almost as if like "
show me what you got!" attitude, as opposed to like, " Oh,
this is really severe and serious. And if this doesn't
(18:58):
work then I don't know what I'll do." That will
put your brain into shutdown mode a lot faster than
looking at it being like, " This is a challenge and I'm
going to boss it."
Krutika Adatia (19:06):
Amazing. Love that. Breathing, grounding, and enjoying the journey.
Michelle Elman (19:10):
Yes.
Krutika Adatia (19:10):
Thank you so much, Michelle.
Michelle Elman (19:12):
Thank you.
Krutika Adatia (19:13):
That's it from this episode of On Your Marks. For
more information about ACCA exams, you can go to www. accaglobal. com/ exams.
And to watch the video version of this podcast, check
out the link in the show notes. See you next time.
I'm Krutika Adatia, and this has been On Your Marks.
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