October 21, 2025 • 24 mins
During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the show took on how teenage dating abuse looks in the digital age, noting that about 1 in 12 high-school students report physical violence from a partner and nearly 1 in 10 report sexual violence.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Babies.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
You busy?
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey Ma, Mom at work right now? Can you well?
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Look here?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I was thinking if y'all was gonna come over here
this weekend, I could do some collar green, some hot
water corn bread, maybe some baked pork chops. Okay, well,
but if y'all not coming, I probably just make a
pot of spaghetti for me and honey. Well, we probably
will come over, Mama, but I gotta get back to work.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I was just sitting here watching. You're not even gonna
believe what I'm watching. Once you watching Mama Rowboat Coop
one they done in the eighties. Oh okay, well, let
me get back to work and I'll give you a
Did you hear about Paul and Maylee? You let me
call you back on my lunch break. You can tell
me got their house evicted from them? Evicted from them? Now, baby,
(00:38):
let me ask you something. Is your cousin pregnant?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hold on, hold on, hold on, Okay, this is Vicked
beeping through. Let me call you back later, Mama, Love you, bye, Hello, VICKI, Hey,
did you hear about Paul and Maylee? Got their house
evicted from them?
Speaker 5 (00:57):
Hold it?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Hees man house woman?
Speaker 6 (01:00):
Rick want to help you to it's garisation.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Y the morning.
Speaker 7 (01:06):
Sure, we are broadcasting line from the time showing a
fantastic voyage. We are in the middle of the Gulf
of Mexico on our way to cost and mail.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
But Garrett got the tea and the club today. You're right, morning, Ricky,
Good morning to you y'all.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Okay, now, Ricky, this this is a set. Now you
may feel a different way, but I do too. About
this next door, it's being for y'all. Somebody said they
thought of Chante laying out on the beach because somebody
said this is good and gave about two hundred pounds
to share.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
That baby. She had a pink outfit on and nobody
knew she was salmon or what she was. But she look,
you gonna gain weight.
Speaker 7 (01:36):
You're gonna it's called baby fat or whatever, so you're
gonna have a little bit of baby fat.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
But she goes, I'm sure she gonna work that down
a shanty.
Speaker 7 (01:42):
Look good.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I don't care what size, what size she is whatever.
So yeah, don't don't don't do that now. When you rich, Ricky,
they take everything out when you have a baby.
Speaker 7 (01:51):
Not right when you have the baby, you already getting
over the complications. I'm having the baby itself. And you
give your body a chance to heal from having the baby,
then you go get the surgery for that.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Who died in made an obstest.
Speaker 7 (02:03):
Yeah, you know, you know I hang out or what
obstetrician obstetrician.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Anyway, y'all know, I hang with.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
The one that on the doctor m J cally Come
on now, Yeah, but Ricky, I mean I feel bad
for you know, Nelly might leave it, you know how
y'all me and all y'all want a certain size. She
was a certain size when the mail. Now she's a
bigger size.
Speaker 7 (02:20):
Yeah, I mean, but she gonna lose the way Nelly
work out, Nelly's strong or whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
And they've been together so long. He ain't going on it. See.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
The thing about being with somebody is trying to be
with somebody that you can't live with now, and I
don't think Nelly can live without the shun They look
how they got back together. Look at that reunited they
did the whole Peach Center heard, I just reunited, and
it feels so good.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And they've been together ever since.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
And now she had got that baby fat, all that
stuff and my people say he might leave it because
you know, I just feel fair.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
He ain't going the way.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Well, we hope he don't go They security bag, Yes,
you better. But anyway, moving on childhood. Oh my god,
now this next door now, Ricky. I don't know if
you watch on Real Housewives of Potoma, I have seen well,
old Wendy. One of the girl's name is Wendy Windy.
Old Sepphard I took the tape Parsons last name. She
and her husband got busted for insurance far I saw that.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
God. And she's a doctor is education. He's a lawyer.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
They want they wanted extra money. They said something they
litennse somebody broke in their house. They wanted some extra
money for the show. I guess. And they lie said
somebody broke in and the people did an investigation in Huney.
Now they may be going.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
To the pen. Oh wow, And I remember the girls
used to do that back in the day.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Huney used to call it and stuff and but then
they also they can't get arrested now, but you know,
used to say your stuff was stolen girl.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Everybody needs some damn money. Girl. They stole my jewelry
and the police came some of the details in the case.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yeah, but I'm not talking about I'm talking about how
the sister used to do back into their honey. You
used to call it an and stuff, and you didn't
get caught. Now these girls then got caught. Wendy and
her husband Eddie. Yeah, they wanted too much. They were greeting, right,
But did somebody break in the house. No, that's the
killing team. Oh and that's what they're saying. Well, you
gotta keep them nothing up. They are definitely being liveing.
(04:04):
We love Whenndy honey, Wendy, she was on HU let
everybody have it on the show. Now carry this guy.
Depending on when he's going in. It's a barking door.
So we gotta pray get him bred. It's beautiful. Everything
is beautiful. It's not when you're going to jail. Yeah,
(04:25):
you saying it's beautiful, but not not well. But we
have two spokes people that always talk about jail, and
they seemed like they were all right with you went
to jail too, But my jail was an in and out, okay,
residency in there you did you did a few days
in the jail that well, Hell, riggy wouldn't know.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Okay, but you did not two or three days. Yeah, okay,
you got you right out.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Yeah, because I mean, but shout out the person that
got you out of jail, Shirley, Thank you, Shirty got
when Riggy put it on the red Bady the girls
zoom turning across the count to get me out of jail.
That they know, I would been like a practice flower,
just flocked. So yeah, I is, yes, honey. Oh and
you know my quick for free Street. We saw cove
(05:07):
on you know, come on from Babyface brother. Yeah, he
was walking down the hall. I hardly recognize himcause he's
kind of gray, but he recognized me. But anyway, they
were talking and I saw yeah, so they said they
really was glad to see.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah. Yeah, he's gonna be performing, you know on this cruise.
Speaker 7 (05:22):
Oh okay, he's gonna be performing the night with after
seven they still again, Yeah yeah, yeah, after seven got
some jams, man, what they mean?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Seven?
Speaker 7 (05:31):
Home?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
What seven?
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Hold? No?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Not seven? Thinking about twenty bright already or nothing? Yeah?
You every read? Yeah you remember that?
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Oh yeah, come on? So it was a real good thing. So,
I mean, everybody so far in the cruise we're having
a great time. Yes, I would just look deterred some
of the way the people's eating, but you know you
gotta eat.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
What you mean, what what was you so deterred? I
have never seen so many black people just placed, just
piled up with food. Did you hurt me? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (06:01):
You know black people are gonna do that. They're gonna
do that at a repast Thanksgiving. You know, we don't
know how that some of us don't know how to
eat and go back sometimes.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, your grandma.
Speaker 7 (06:10):
Said you got to act like you used to something
that has been somewhere. Yes, and there was Lord. I
was said, oh Jesus Lord. And then you think, are
they gonna make it to the tea boart out? Do
you think they're gonna be laid out?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
They're gonna be laid out, but they're gonna come to
the tea pot. They're gonna be here, Jery.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
What about some of the outfits you've seen me so far?
Oh my god, I saw all kinds of illusions.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
But anyway, because you know who's who by the coor
a the colude today, y'all, honey, is one of my
favorite my colony, y'all, is clothes because these girls every
color clothes. You see out here, honey, these girls wearing honey,
they have some looks done.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
That the cloth one time? But garry with the tea?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Did you see that toaster?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
People are talking?
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Here's what's on the morning shout.
Speaker 9 (07:01):
October is domestic Violence Awareness Month, which is a time
to shed light on the issue that affects millions of
people every year, regardless of age, the gender, or the background. Now,
last week we broke down with domestic violence is and
how it can affect men and women. But today we
want to dive a little bit deeper into how domestic
violence can also affect teenagers.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
Yeah, rock Ty, domestic violence within teenagers is more common
than people think about. One in three teenagers in the
US experience physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating
partner before they turn eighteen. Now, teams are more likely
to experience emotional or digital abuse, such as controlling behavior, threats,
or harassment on social media. Now, technology plays a big
(07:43):
role in team domestic violence because one in fourteens in
relationships report being digitally controlled or monitored by a partner,
such as constant texting, checking locations, or demanding passwords. And
although this is very common. Only thirty three percent of
teens in abusive really relationships report the situation to someone else.
Speaker 9 (08:03):
Man And we got Beyonce Ala Witch's on the show.
You want to share it a quick story?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Yeah, So, you know, this is very touching to me
because I've done a lot of work with teen domestic
violent charters here in Atlanta and Big Shot out the
PADV and I mentor a lot of young women because
you know, when I was sixteen, I met my first
love of my life and we worked at our job together.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
He was amazing.
Speaker 6 (08:29):
You know, I got the red carpet treatment. You know,
he was nineteen, I was sixteen. I thought it was
just you know, he was still in high school. I
thought it was perfect, and I wrapped myself so much
into him. I was a girls girl at the time, Like,
you know, we would hang out, we would have fun,
and then slowly but surely, it's not like and I
think that's one of the misconceptions that people make, because
(08:53):
this is you know, this is your person. It's not
like they just automatically start fighting or things get physical.
You know, It's started off with he wanted to know
my location, He wanted to know why I was hanging
out with certain guy friends who I had had for
so many years, I slowly started to isolate myself, and
I think those are some of the warning signs that
(09:15):
people need to watch out for. You're not hanging around
your friends like you used to, You're not going out
to party like you used to. And you know, I
for so long, I've never shared this on air because
even to this day, I still get scared to what
if he finds out, or what if he hears me
talking about it and he wants to come stop me.
(09:37):
And that's one thing I talked to these young ladies about.
You know, when we do these events and these team
talk events, and you don't realize it, but it went
from emotional to physical shoving to full out fights to
we were living together because at the time I felt
(09:58):
like he was the only person who knew me. I
loved him, I was the only person he had so long. Yeah,
we were a young love, you know, we were so
wrapped up, and he would threaten to hurt himself if
I left, and I just I felt so guilty and
I didn't want that, and so it was it was
just it was very pulling, and even now I look
(10:19):
back at it, and I asked myself, how did I
get wrapped up in that? Like I'm so smart, but
and I feel like I should know better. But then
when you're young, you don't, and you know, you feel.
Speaker 10 (10:29):
Like you in love and that feeling that you've never
had before.
Speaker 11 (10:32):
And then I just want to thank you for your
courage and your testimony, because there are people right now
and you're saying, listen, this is your first time talking
about it. So your courage right now is helping someone
who is in the situation right now.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
So thank you that absolutely.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
And you get scared, and so I didn't want to
tell anybody. I never told my friends, I never told
my grandmother. I felt like we were each other's Bonnie
and Clyde ride or die, and it did. It took
until I had I realized that I was hiding the
nine in the house because I was so scared that
he was gonna hurt me or hurt himself that I
(11:07):
started to talk about it because I kept thinking in
my head, I was like, I'm gonna be like one
of these people in the news one day.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
And one day he did, you know, pull a knife?
Speaker 6 (11:17):
And I talked to myself and I told myself I
need to call my grandmother because I was so embarrassed,
you know, to call home and be like, hey, I
knew want to home.
Speaker 10 (11:29):
I think everything is so good to feel like the
person you picked was a good person.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You know. I was so embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (11:35):
But I just remember my grandmother and her being like,
you will always have a place to come home.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
We won't judge you.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
And that's how I got out, and I just I
want that for so many other people.
Speaker 9 (11:46):
Thank you for that, absolutely, and thank you for sharing that,
like say, that takes a lot of courage. So this
morning we got licensed therapist Spirit on the hell break
all this down for us.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Good morning, Spirit, how you doing man?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Good morning? And I'm loving Beyonce right now, for she
is talking to millions of guys and girls right now. Beyonce,
you exis, thank you for saving people. I'm like, you
got me in tears because you're seeing the story.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
Girl, you are.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Telling the story today and you got folks sitting here
right now going, oh my gosh. She's talking about me.
She's talking about how we fight, she's talking about how
we love. Am I in trouble? Am I? Am I
a domestic violence victim, Am I an abuser? You saving
folks today? Sis, this is the right conversation.
Speaker 9 (12:36):
To be having, absolutely absolutely my spirit. What are some
early red flags that parents and friends or even teachers
should be looking out for?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
You know, it is the obsessive behavior. And I don't
mean it in the clinical sense. I mean it and
when you slowly watch somebody who goes from being vibrant
and full in their circles to being completely distress and
caught up in their relationships, they really become isolated and
their sole focus is on how to keep their partner
(13:08):
calm and happy. Those are the two places in spaces.
And it's really rooted in insecurity. It's really rooted on
need for reassurance. And it doesn't start off with people
wanting to be abusive. I promise you that's not where
it's usually rooted. Which is why abusers don't see themselves
as abusers, and victims don't see themselves as victims. They
(13:30):
see themselves as two people doing whatever it takes to
make the relationship work and just to make sure that
their partner feels comfortable with what they're doing.
Speaker 11 (13:39):
Wow, So why is it that so many young people
just don't recognize certain behaviors like constant texting or jealousy
as forms of abuse.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Well, because what we look at in that situation, it's
a slippery slope. Of Course, I want to talk to
my partner all the time. Of course I want to
know what I'm doing and where I'm at and how
I'm feeling. And so we're caught up in this volley
that at the point, it sounds like we're just keeping
each other involved in our relationship when we're away from
(14:13):
each other. So when I'm in the car with my mom,
or I'm at a party, or I'm supposed to be
doing my homework or I'm in class, we're just maintaining
our relationship. But where it becomes abusive is where it
starts to get controlling, where we start to question each
other's behavior or we have to modify our behavior because
the person questions our love for them, are our respect
(14:36):
for the relationship? Why are you hanging out with that person?
Are you still up? I don't feel comfortable with you,
like in their pictures. Why are they talking to you
over there? You have me so mad, I'm thinking I'm
going to hurt myself, right, And you get sucked into
this cycle of care taking, and you don't see it
as abuse. You just see it as I love my
(14:56):
partner enough to make them happy.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
Wow.
Speaker 10 (15:02):
How does experiencing abuse at such a young age affect
a teen's mental health long term?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Oh my gosh, Brad, it's such how they do. Yes,
it does, because without the proper help, we will develop
anxiety disorders, depression, post traumatic stress disorder. We are dealing
with abuse oftentimes. That abuse, like you said, is digital,
it's emotional, it's sexual, it's physical, it's social, it's financial,
(15:32):
it's so many different things. And how we love as
children tells us and dictates how we go on to
love as adults. And so what we see is that
it's more common for individuals who have been in these
kinds of relationships in their adolescence to also choose partners
like this throughout their adulthood. So you will be in
controlling relationships. You will be in relationships where your partner
(15:55):
abuses you, violates you, disrespects you. You will develop co
dependency because you've already learned that it's imperative for your
survival that you make partners happy. You will also become
passive in your friendships. In your coworking relationships. It really
impacts every aspect of your life. And then if you
(16:16):
go on to become a parent, you will be parenting
from that place of not only mental health conditions, but
an inability to stand up and advocate for yourself as
you then create intergenerational trauma cycles.
Speaker 7 (16:29):
Brat.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It is really really interesting and if you ever have
the chance, as folks are out there listening to hear
your parents' stories, it would be mind blowing to know
the number of our parents who have set an abusive relationships,
or many of us know that they have, and you
can recognize how that impacted the way that they loved
on us and the way that we went on to
(16:50):
do relationships too.
Speaker 9 (16:52):
Man, my Spirit, my wife Crystal, she has an organization
called Pretty Insecure was his mental health program with girls,
and I hear a lot of these stories, like it's
like she comes home crying sometimes about it. But so
thank you for sharing that and helping out. October is
domestic violence of wearing this month, and licensed therapist Spirit
is here to address.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
All of your concerns.
Speaker 9 (17:14):
October is, of course domestic violence are wearing this month,
and we're going to be talking about how it can
also affect teenagers and what we as parents and mentors
should be doing to help our teenagers escape these situations. Man, also,
we got licensed therapists spirit to help us break it
all down.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Well, you know, one of the things that I tell
folks is if you recognize that you're having to decline
because it doesn't feel safe or healthy, you have a
bigger problem in the relationship. So it's not enough to decline.
And at that point, I want to have a different
kind of conversation with teams because if we're not safe
in our relationships, we need to start questioning either how
(17:51):
we get help to make the relationship safer. Most of
the time they don't want to leave brat, but ultimately
that's what needs to happen. So what we want to
do is is we want to help people recognize and
especially as a kid, you can always throw your parents
under the bus and your parents will love you for that.
So just say my mom doesn't allow me to do that,
(18:11):
my father doesn't want me to do that. I'm only
able to share my locations with them. And if parents
and adults, whether we're aunties, uncles, teachers, coaches, friends of
youth we need to be having these conversations with them
so they recugize that these are just facts of life.
There's nothing to be embarrassed or feel ashamed about, because
(18:32):
the isolation makes the situation more dangerous for both of
the kids that are involved.
Speaker 11 (18:37):
Absolutely, I always tell my kids, let them know your
mom is crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
It's not a lie.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Okay, you know, okay.
Speaker 11 (18:43):
But speaking of parents, you know you don't want to
invade your teen's privacy. So how can parents or mentors address,
you know, or even monitor digital abuse without invading a
kid's privacy.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Well, what I like to help people understand, and this
is as a mom of seven. Also, what I teach
my children is that there's a difference between privacy and secrecy. Right,
And so when your children are dating, especially in middle school,
unfortunately that's how early they're doing it. Some of them
got girlfriends and boyfriends in elementary school. So what we
(19:14):
want to help them do is recognize that they're practicing
healthy relationships for adulthood. So that's where we want to
have interjection. That's where we want to have conversation. Too
many parents are focused on discipline and restriction. I refuse
to let you have a boyfriend right now. I refuse
to let you date right now. And instead of being
(19:36):
able to have an open line of communication where you
can actually have influence, you drive your children further into
isolation because then they don't feel like they can talk
to you if they recognize they're doing stuff that you
told them they shouldn't be doing anyway. So instead, what
we want to do is we want to talk to
our children about what healthy relationships look like, but also
(19:57):
what dangers look like in relationships, so that if they
get in trouble, they can start to recognize the signs
as soon as possible.
Speaker 9 (20:06):
Spirit, we got a lot of people calling in. They
got some questions for you, So let's go to the
phone line. Say that's six' Nine. Ricky ricky Is monday
morning show you own With. Spirit good.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
MORNING i guess my.
Speaker 12 (20:14):
Question is how do you know THE i guess when
you're crossing the line of really just trying to respect
your partner and their issues of wanting to be respectful
of you, know maybe they have some insecurities behind. Things
you just want to really be respectful of them and
actually being controlled by, Them, like how when do you
kind of know that you're getting to the.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Line, Okay so the line is WHERE i get to
love you and me, simultaneously AND i always have to
love me. First so in a, relationship we don't want
to be doing things to respect somebody else's. Wishes we
want to be building a healthy relationship that we both
agree works for. Us and unfortunately most of us don't
(20:57):
learn how to negotiate. Relationship we just love you and
you love, me and we want to just keep this feeling.
Going but what we should really be talking about is
how DO i want to feel in this? Relationship how
do you want to feel in this? Relationship and can
we agree this is what works for both of. Us
if something doesn't work for, you have to trust your
(21:20):
gut about, that and you have to ask. Yourself AM
i sacrificing or betraying myself to respect their? Wishes and
why WOULD i respect somebody's? Wishes who don't who doesn't
care THAT i feel? Betrayed Or i'm sick to my? Stomach?
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Wow Rickie's Monday morning, Show Good. MORNING i had a.
Speaker 8 (21:40):
Question, Okay so my sons they and a girl and
they keep going off and on or. Whatever she's blocktown
and then she un. Blocktown how DO i keep them
away from each other because he's gotten to the point
of where he shows up at her, house don't stick
out her window and. Stuff so how DO i get
them from to stop talking to each?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Other, okay the hard part of this is that you're
not going to be able to get him to stop
talking to. Her what we need to do is get
him some help so that he will then make the
choice to stop talking to her because he recognizes how
toxic and dangerous the relationship. Is AND i want you
guys to recognize that when children or teens fall in
(22:23):
love for the first, time they're experiencing a whole new
rush of hormones in their bodies that are literally changing
their brain. Chemistry that's why they become unrecognizable to you
and to. Themselves so that's why it's important to have.
Information that's why it's important to have, education and that's
why it's important for them to have support while they're
(22:46):
navigating these new relationship, dynamics these new, hormones these new
flood of, emotions because they really are out of, control
and what we should be doing as adults is teaching
them how to manage. This but if we don't get it,
together and if we've never learned how to manage, it
it's really hard to stand in support of our children
(23:07):
because we don't know what to. Do so understand if
you don't have what you need that it's okay for
you all to learn healthy relationships and dating patterns. Together
model that for the. Children but get that baby some
help before one of them get.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Hurt, Man.
Speaker 9 (23:22):
Spirit first of, all we want to Thank beyonce again
for being so vulnerable and brave.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
This morning to share your. Story.
Speaker 9 (23:31):
Spirit we want to thank you for coming on and
helping breaking all this down so we can understand this
a little bit. More how can people contact you With
hollow you get more.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Information listen if they are interested in participating in programs like.
This if you have an organization you want a partner
in the work that we, do you can email us
at the. Nonprofit we're info AT t two s dot.
Org it's info AT t the number TWO s dot
cares dot. Org and then of course you can follow
(24:00):
me on all of my. Socials i'm talk To spirit
everywhere on all the. Socials it's talk the number Two.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Spirit love.
Speaker 9 (24:07):
It appreciate Your, Spirit, Man and if you are someone
or no anyone that's experiencing domestic. Violence you can also
reach out to The National Domestic Violence hotline eight hundred
seventy ninety nine, safe or you can text the word
start to eight eight seven eight. Eight you can also
chat online at thehotline dot. Org we got More Rickie
(24:27):
Smidy Morning show coming up next
Babies.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
You busy?
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey Ma, Mom at work right now? Can you well?
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Look here?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I was thinking if y'all was gonna come over here
this weekend, I could do some collar green, some hot
water corn bread, maybe some baked pork chops. Okay, well,
but if y'all not coming, I probably just make a
pot of spaghetti for me and honey. Well, we probably
will come over, Mama, but I gotta get back to work.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I was just sitting here watching. You're not even gonna
believe what I'm watching. Once you watching Mama Rowboat Coop
one they done in the eighties. Oh okay, well, let
me get back to work and I'll give you a
Did you hear about Paul and Maylee? You let me
call you back on my lunch break. You can tell
me got their house evicted from them? Evicted from them? Now, baby,
(00:38):
let me ask you something. Is your cousin pregnant?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hold on, hold on, hold on, Okay, this is Vicked
beeping through. Let me call you back later, Mama, Love you, bye, Hello, VICKI, Hey,
did you hear about Paul and Maylee? Got their house
evicted from them?
Speaker 5 (00:57):
Hold it?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Hees man house woman?
Speaker 6 (01:00):
Rick want to help you to it's garisation.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Y the morning.
Speaker 7 (01:06):
Sure, we are broadcasting line from the time showing a
fantastic voyage. We are in the middle of the Gulf
of Mexico on our way to cost and mail.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
But Garrett got the tea and the club today. You're right, morning, Ricky,
Good morning to you y'all.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Okay, now, Ricky, this this is a set. Now you
may feel a different way, but I do too. About
this next door, it's being for y'all. Somebody said they
thought of Chante laying out on the beach because somebody
said this is good and gave about two hundred pounds
to share.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
That baby. She had a pink outfit on and nobody
knew she was salmon or what she was. But she look,
you gonna gain weight.
Speaker 7 (01:36):
You're gonna it's called baby fat or whatever, so you're
gonna have a little bit of baby fat.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
But she goes, I'm sure she gonna work that down
a shanty.
Speaker 7 (01:42):
Look good.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I don't care what size, what size she is whatever.
So yeah, don't don't don't do that now. When you rich, Ricky,
they take everything out when you have a baby.
Speaker 7 (01:51):
Not right when you have the baby, you already getting
over the complications. I'm having the baby itself. And you
give your body a chance to heal from having the baby,
then you go get the surgery for that.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Who died in made an obstest.
Speaker 7 (02:03):
Yeah, you know, you know I hang out or what
obstetrician obstetrician.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Anyway, y'all know, I hang with.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
The one that on the doctor m J cally Come
on now, Yeah, but Ricky, I mean I feel bad
for you know, Nelly might leave it, you know how
y'all me and all y'all want a certain size. She
was a certain size when the mail. Now she's a
bigger size.
Speaker 7 (02:20):
Yeah, I mean, but she gonna lose the way Nelly
work out, Nelly's strong or whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
And they've been together so long. He ain't going on it. See.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
The thing about being with somebody is trying to be
with somebody that you can't live with now, and I
don't think Nelly can live without the shun They look
how they got back together. Look at that reunited they
did the whole Peach Center heard, I just reunited, and
it feels so good.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And they've been together ever since.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
And now she had got that baby fat, all that
stuff and my people say he might leave it because
you know, I just feel fair.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
He ain't going the way.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Well, we hope he don't go They security bag, Yes,
you better. But anyway, moving on childhood. Oh my god,
now this next door now, Ricky. I don't know if
you watch on Real Housewives of Potoma, I have seen well,
old Wendy. One of the girl's name is Wendy Windy.
Old Sepphard I took the tape Parsons last name. She
and her husband got busted for insurance far I saw that.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
God. And she's a doctor is education. He's a lawyer.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
They want they wanted extra money. They said something they
litennse somebody broke in their house. They wanted some extra
money for the show. I guess. And they lie said
somebody broke in and the people did an investigation in Huney.
Now they may be going.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
To the pen. Oh wow, And I remember the girls
used to do that back in the day.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Huney used to call it and stuff and but then
they also they can't get arrested now, but you know,
used to say your stuff was stolen girl.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Everybody needs some damn money. Girl. They stole my jewelry
and the police came some of the details in the case.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yeah, but I'm not talking about I'm talking about how
the sister used to do back into their honey. You
used to call it an and stuff, and you didn't
get caught. Now these girls then got caught. Wendy and
her husband Eddie. Yeah, they wanted too much. They were greeting, right,
But did somebody break in the house. No, that's the
killing team. Oh and that's what they're saying. Well, you
gotta keep them nothing up. They are definitely being liveing.
(04:04):
We love Whenndy honey, Wendy, she was on HU let
everybody have it on the show. Now carry this guy.
Depending on when he's going in. It's a barking door.
So we gotta pray get him bred. It's beautiful. Everything
is beautiful. It's not when you're going to jail. Yeah,
(04:25):
you saying it's beautiful, but not not well. But we
have two spokes people that always talk about jail, and
they seemed like they were all right with you went
to jail too, But my jail was an in and out, okay,
residency in there you did you did a few days
in the jail that well, Hell, riggy wouldn't know.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Okay, but you did not two or three days. Yeah, okay,
you got you right out.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Yeah, because I mean, but shout out the person that
got you out of jail, Shirley, Thank you, Shirty got
when Riggy put it on the red Bady the girls
zoom turning across the count to get me out of jail.
That they know, I would been like a practice flower,
just flocked. So yeah, I is, yes, honey. Oh and
you know my quick for free Street. We saw cove
(05:07):
on you know, come on from Babyface brother. Yeah, he
was walking down the hall. I hardly recognize himcause he's
kind of gray, but he recognized me. But anyway, they
were talking and I saw yeah, so they said they
really was glad to see.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah. Yeah, he's gonna be performing, you know on this cruise.
Speaker 7 (05:22):
Oh okay, he's gonna be performing the night with after
seven they still again, Yeah yeah, yeah, after seven got
some jams, man, what they mean?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Seven?
Speaker 7 (05:31):
Home?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
What seven?
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Hold? No?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Not seven? Thinking about twenty bright already or nothing? Yeah?
You every read? Yeah you remember that?
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Oh yeah, come on? So it was a real good thing. So,
I mean, everybody so far in the cruise we're having
a great time. Yes, I would just look deterred some
of the way the people's eating, but you know you
gotta eat.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
What you mean, what what was you so deterred? I
have never seen so many black people just placed, just
piled up with food. Did you hurt me? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (06:01):
You know black people are gonna do that. They're gonna
do that at a repast Thanksgiving. You know, we don't
know how that some of us don't know how to
eat and go back sometimes.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, your grandma.
Speaker 7 (06:10):
Said you got to act like you used to something
that has been somewhere. Yes, and there was Lord. I
was said, oh Jesus Lord. And then you think, are
they gonna make it to the tea boart out? Do
you think they're gonna be laid out?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
They're gonna be laid out, but they're gonna come to
the tea pot. They're gonna be here, Jery.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
What about some of the outfits you've seen me so far?
Oh my god, I saw all kinds of illusions.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
But anyway, because you know who's who by the coor
a the colude today, y'all, honey, is one of my
favorite my colony, y'all, is clothes because these girls every
color clothes. You see out here, honey, these girls wearing honey,
they have some looks done.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
That the cloth one time? But garry with the tea?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Did you see that toaster?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
People are talking?
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Here's what's on the morning shout.
Speaker 9 (07:01):
October is domestic Violence Awareness Month, which is a time
to shed light on the issue that affects millions of
people every year, regardless of age, the gender, or the background. Now,
last week we broke down with domestic violence is and
how it can affect men and women. But today we
want to dive a little bit deeper into how domestic
violence can also affect teenagers.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
Yeah, rock Ty, domestic violence within teenagers is more common
than people think about. One in three teenagers in the
US experience physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating
partner before they turn eighteen. Now, teams are more likely
to experience emotional or digital abuse, such as controlling behavior, threats,
or harassment on social media. Now, technology plays a big
(07:43):
role in team domestic violence because one in fourteens in
relationships report being digitally controlled or monitored by a partner,
such as constant texting, checking locations, or demanding passwords. And
although this is very common. Only thirty three percent of
teens in abusive really relationships report the situation to someone else.
Speaker 9 (08:03):
Man And we got Beyonce Ala Witch's on the show.
You want to share it a quick story?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Yeah, So, you know, this is very touching to me
because I've done a lot of work with teen domestic
violent charters here in Atlanta and Big Shot out the
PADV and I mentor a lot of young women because
you know, when I was sixteen, I met my first
love of my life and we worked at our job together.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
He was amazing.
Speaker 6 (08:29):
You know, I got the red carpet treatment. You know,
he was nineteen, I was sixteen. I thought it was
just you know, he was still in high school. I
thought it was perfect, and I wrapped myself so much
into him. I was a girls girl at the time, Like,
you know, we would hang out, we would have fun,
and then slowly but surely, it's not like and I
think that's one of the misconceptions that people make, because
(08:53):
this is you know, this is your person. It's not
like they just automatically start fighting or things get physical.
You know, It's started off with he wanted to know
my location, He wanted to know why I was hanging
out with certain guy friends who I had had for
so many years, I slowly started to isolate myself, and
I think those are some of the warning signs that
(09:15):
people need to watch out for. You're not hanging around
your friends like you used to, You're not going out
to party like you used to. And you know, I
for so long, I've never shared this on air because
even to this day, I still get scared to what
if he finds out, or what if he hears me
talking about it and he wants to come stop me.
(09:37):
And that's one thing I talked to these young ladies about.
You know, when we do these events and these team
talk events, and you don't realize it, but it went
from emotional to physical shoving to full out fights to
we were living together because at the time I felt
(09:58):
like he was the only person who knew me. I
loved him, I was the only person he had so long. Yeah,
we were a young love, you know, we were so
wrapped up, and he would threaten to hurt himself if
I left, and I just I felt so guilty and
I didn't want that, and so it was it was
just it was very pulling, and even now I look
(10:19):
back at it, and I asked myself, how did I
get wrapped up in that? Like I'm so smart, but
and I feel like I should know better. But then
when you're young, you don't, and you know, you feel.
Speaker 10 (10:29):
Like you in love and that feeling that you've never
had before.
Speaker 11 (10:32):
And then I just want to thank you for your
courage and your testimony, because there are people right now
and you're saying, listen, this is your first time talking
about it. So your courage right now is helping someone
who is in the situation right now.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
So thank you that absolutely.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
And you get scared, and so I didn't want to
tell anybody. I never told my friends, I never told
my grandmother. I felt like we were each other's Bonnie
and Clyde ride or die, and it did. It took
until I had I realized that I was hiding the
nine in the house because I was so scared that
he was gonna hurt me or hurt himself that I
(11:07):
started to talk about it because I kept thinking in
my head, I was like, I'm gonna be like one
of these people in the news one day.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
And one day he did, you know, pull a knife?
Speaker 6 (11:17):
And I talked to myself and I told myself I
need to call my grandmother because I was so embarrassed,
you know, to call home and be like, hey, I
knew want to home.
Speaker 10 (11:29):
I think everything is so good to feel like the
person you picked was a good person.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You know. I was so embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (11:35):
But I just remember my grandmother and her being like,
you will always have a place to come home.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
We won't judge you.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
And that's how I got out, and I just I
want that for so many other people.
Speaker 9 (11:46):
Thank you for that, absolutely, and thank you for sharing that,
like say, that takes a lot of courage. So this
morning we got licensed therapist Spirit on the hell break
all this down for us.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Good morning, Spirit, how you doing man?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Good morning? And I'm loving Beyonce right now, for she
is talking to millions of guys and girls right now. Beyonce,
you exis, thank you for saving people. I'm like, you
got me in tears because you're seeing the story.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
Girl, you are.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Telling the story today and you got folks sitting here
right now going, oh my gosh. She's talking about me.
She's talking about how we fight, she's talking about how
we love. Am I in trouble? Am I? Am I
a domestic violence victim, Am I an abuser? You saving
folks today? Sis, this is the right conversation.
Speaker 9 (12:36):
To be having, absolutely absolutely my spirit. What are some
early red flags that parents and friends or even teachers
should be looking out for?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
You know, it is the obsessive behavior. And I don't
mean it in the clinical sense. I mean it and
when you slowly watch somebody who goes from being vibrant
and full in their circles to being completely distress and
caught up in their relationships, they really become isolated and
their sole focus is on how to keep their partner
(13:08):
calm and happy. Those are the two places in spaces.
And it's really rooted in insecurity. It's really rooted on
need for reassurance. And it doesn't start off with people
wanting to be abusive. I promise you that's not where
it's usually rooted. Which is why abusers don't see themselves
as abusers, and victims don't see themselves as victims. They
(13:30):
see themselves as two people doing whatever it takes to
make the relationship work and just to make sure that
their partner feels comfortable with what they're doing.
Speaker 11 (13:39):
Wow, So why is it that so many young people
just don't recognize certain behaviors like constant texting or jealousy
as forms of abuse.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Well, because what we look at in that situation, it's
a slippery slope. Of Course, I want to talk to
my partner all the time. Of course I want to
know what I'm doing and where I'm at and how
I'm feeling. And so we're caught up in this volley
that at the point, it sounds like we're just keeping
each other involved in our relationship when we're away from
(14:13):
each other. So when I'm in the car with my mom,
or I'm at a party, or I'm supposed to be
doing my homework or I'm in class, we're just maintaining
our relationship. But where it becomes abusive is where it
starts to get controlling, where we start to question each
other's behavior or we have to modify our behavior because
the person questions our love for them, are our respect
(14:36):
for the relationship? Why are you hanging out with that person?
Are you still up? I don't feel comfortable with you,
like in their pictures. Why are they talking to you
over there? You have me so mad, I'm thinking I'm
going to hurt myself, right, And you get sucked into
this cycle of care taking, and you don't see it
as abuse. You just see it as I love my
(14:56):
partner enough to make them happy.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
Wow.
Speaker 10 (15:02):
How does experiencing abuse at such a young age affect
a teen's mental health long term?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Oh my gosh, Brad, it's such how they do. Yes,
it does, because without the proper help, we will develop
anxiety disorders, depression, post traumatic stress disorder. We are dealing
with abuse oftentimes. That abuse, like you said, is digital,
it's emotional, it's sexual, it's physical, it's social, it's financial,
(15:32):
it's so many different things. And how we love as
children tells us and dictates how we go on to
love as adults. And so what we see is that
it's more common for individuals who have been in these
kinds of relationships in their adolescence to also choose partners
like this throughout their adulthood. So you will be in
controlling relationships. You will be in relationships where your partner
(15:55):
abuses you, violates you, disrespects you. You will develop co
dependency because you've already learned that it's imperative for your
survival that you make partners happy. You will also become
passive in your friendships. In your coworking relationships. It really
impacts every aspect of your life. And then if you
(16:16):
go on to become a parent, you will be parenting
from that place of not only mental health conditions, but
an inability to stand up and advocate for yourself as
you then create intergenerational trauma cycles.
Speaker 7 (16:29):
Brat.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It is really really interesting and if you ever have
the chance, as folks are out there listening to hear
your parents' stories, it would be mind blowing to know
the number of our parents who have set an abusive relationships,
or many of us know that they have, and you
can recognize how that impacted the way that they loved
on us and the way that we went on to
(16:50):
do relationships too.
Speaker 9 (16:52):
Man, my Spirit, my wife Crystal, she has an organization
called Pretty Insecure was his mental health program with girls,
and I hear a lot of these stories, like it's
like she comes home crying sometimes about it. But so
thank you for sharing that and helping out. October is
domestic violence of wearing this month, and licensed therapist Spirit
is here to address.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
All of your concerns.
Speaker 9 (17:14):
October is, of course domestic violence are wearing this month,
and we're going to be talking about how it can
also affect teenagers and what we as parents and mentors
should be doing to help our teenagers escape these situations. Man, also,
we got licensed therapists spirit to help us break it
all down.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Well, you know, one of the things that I tell
folks is if you recognize that you're having to decline
because it doesn't feel safe or healthy, you have a
bigger problem in the relationship. So it's not enough to decline.
And at that point, I want to have a different
kind of conversation with teams because if we're not safe
in our relationships, we need to start questioning either how
(17:51):
we get help to make the relationship safer. Most of
the time they don't want to leave brat, but ultimately
that's what needs to happen. So what we want to
do is is we want to help people recognize and
especially as a kid, you can always throw your parents
under the bus and your parents will love you for that.
So just say my mom doesn't allow me to do that,
(18:11):
my father doesn't want me to do that. I'm only
able to share my locations with them. And if parents
and adults, whether we're aunties, uncles, teachers, coaches, friends of
youth we need to be having these conversations with them
so they recugize that these are just facts of life.
There's nothing to be embarrassed or feel ashamed about, because
(18:32):
the isolation makes the situation more dangerous for both of
the kids that are involved.
Speaker 11 (18:37):
Absolutely, I always tell my kids, let them know your
mom is crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
It's not a lie.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Okay, you know, okay.
Speaker 11 (18:43):
But speaking of parents, you know you don't want to
invade your teen's privacy. So how can parents or mentors address,
you know, or even monitor digital abuse without invading a
kid's privacy.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Well, what I like to help people understand, and this
is as a mom of seven. Also, what I teach
my children is that there's a difference between privacy and secrecy. Right,
And so when your children are dating, especially in middle school,
unfortunately that's how early they're doing it. Some of them
got girlfriends and boyfriends in elementary school. So what we
(19:14):
want to help them do is recognize that they're practicing
healthy relationships for adulthood. So that's where we want to
have interjection. That's where we want to have conversation. Too
many parents are focused on discipline and restriction. I refuse
to let you have a boyfriend right now. I refuse
to let you date right now. And instead of being
(19:36):
able to have an open line of communication where you
can actually have influence, you drive your children further into
isolation because then they don't feel like they can talk
to you if they recognize they're doing stuff that you
told them they shouldn't be doing anyway. So instead, what
we want to do is we want to talk to
our children about what healthy relationships look like, but also
(19:57):
what dangers look like in relationships, so that if they
get in trouble, they can start to recognize the signs
as soon as possible.
Speaker 9 (20:06):
Spirit, we got a lot of people calling in. They
got some questions for you, So let's go to the
phone line. Say that's six' Nine. Ricky ricky Is monday
morning show you own With. Spirit good.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
MORNING i guess my.
Speaker 12 (20:14):
Question is how do you know THE i guess when
you're crossing the line of really just trying to respect
your partner and their issues of wanting to be respectful
of you, know maybe they have some insecurities behind. Things
you just want to really be respectful of them and
actually being controlled by, Them, like how when do you
kind of know that you're getting to the.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Line, Okay so the line is WHERE i get to
love you and me, simultaneously AND i always have to
love me. First so in a, relationship we don't want
to be doing things to respect somebody else's. Wishes we
want to be building a healthy relationship that we both
agree works for. Us and unfortunately most of us don't
(20:57):
learn how to negotiate. Relationship we just love you and
you love, me and we want to just keep this feeling.
Going but what we should really be talking about is
how DO i want to feel in this? Relationship how
do you want to feel in this? Relationship and can
we agree this is what works for both of. Us
if something doesn't work for, you have to trust your
(21:20):
gut about, that and you have to ask. Yourself AM
i sacrificing or betraying myself to respect their? Wishes and
why WOULD i respect somebody's? Wishes who don't who doesn't
care THAT i feel? Betrayed Or i'm sick to my? Stomach?
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Wow Rickie's Monday morning, Show Good. MORNING i had a.
Speaker 8 (21:40):
Question, Okay so my sons they and a girl and
they keep going off and on or. Whatever she's blocktown
and then she un. Blocktown how DO i keep them
away from each other because he's gotten to the point
of where he shows up at her, house don't stick
out her window and. Stuff so how DO i get
them from to stop talking to each?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Other, okay the hard part of this is that you're
not going to be able to get him to stop
talking to. Her what we need to do is get
him some help so that he will then make the
choice to stop talking to her because he recognizes how
toxic and dangerous the relationship. Is AND i want you
guys to recognize that when children or teens fall in
(22:23):
love for the first, time they're experiencing a whole new
rush of hormones in their bodies that are literally changing
their brain. Chemistry that's why they become unrecognizable to you
and to. Themselves so that's why it's important to have.
Information that's why it's important to have, education and that's
why it's important for them to have support while they're
(22:46):
navigating these new relationship, dynamics these new, hormones these new
flood of, emotions because they really are out of, control
and what we should be doing as adults is teaching
them how to manage. This but if we don't get it,
together and if we've never learned how to manage, it
it's really hard to stand in support of our children
(23:07):
because we don't know what to. Do so understand if
you don't have what you need that it's okay for
you all to learn healthy relationships and dating patterns. Together
model that for the. Children but get that baby some
help before one of them get.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Hurt, Man.
Speaker 9 (23:22):
Spirit first of, all we want to Thank beyonce again
for being so vulnerable and brave.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
This morning to share your. Story.
Speaker 9 (23:31):
Spirit we want to thank you for coming on and
helping breaking all this down so we can understand this
a little bit. More how can people contact you With
hollow you get more.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Information listen if they are interested in participating in programs like.
This if you have an organization you want a partner
in the work that we, do you can email us
at the. Nonprofit we're info AT t two s dot.
Org it's info AT t the number TWO s dot
cares dot. Org and then of course you can follow
(24:00):
me on all of my. Socials i'm talk To spirit
everywhere on all the. Socials it's talk the number Two.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Spirit love.
Speaker 9 (24:07):
It appreciate Your, Spirit, Man and if you are someone
or no anyone that's experiencing domestic. Violence you can also
reach out to The National Domestic Violence hotline eight hundred
seventy ninety nine, safe or you can text the word
start to eight eight seven eight. Eight you can also
chat online at thehotline dot. Org we got More Rickie
(24:27):
Smidy Morning show coming up next
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