Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sam, Sucho, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Man?
Speaker 3 (00:02):
We in show reality, I will real people realize situations
and Kenya have today's Let her give us your non
bias opinion on today's letter.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
What's going on?
Speaker 4 (00:10):
All right, Dear Sam? My boyfriend had a night up planned.
My boyfriend had planned out a night for us, but
he ended up on short lord.
Speaker 5 (00:21):
But he ended up short on money.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
His bills piled up, and he also helped his child's
mother with her car note. Instead, he texted saying he
was cooking salmon and steaks at home and asked if
I could bring a bottle of wine so we could
just chill at his place. I understand financial setbacks happen,
and I'm not upset about the change of plans, but
I'm struggling with the fact that he's covering his ex's
(00:45):
car note on top of that paying child support. It
makes me wonder about his priorities and whether I'm signing
up for a dynamic that might leave me feeling second place. Also,
if he had the money for stakes and salmon, couldn't
we have done something simple like a movie. We're still
getting to know each other, but I'm already questioning whether
(01:05):
these are early signs of deeper issues. Am I overthinking
or are these red flags I shouldn't ignore?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay, so let me make sure I'm understanding.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Yeah, he had planned a night for them, Yes, he
changed it because he had to take care.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Of some business.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yes, his money was short.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
His money was short, and he told her why.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
He said his bills piled up and he had to
help his child's mother with her car note. So you know,
he just wanted to cook her dinner. He told her
to come through bring some wine. Huh, and he was
gonna cook instead.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And she want to know what is she gonna become? Second?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Yes, I mean I guess she had a problem with
the fact that he's paying child support and you know,
still helping her out with different bills. So she wants
to know you know what that means, and that is
something you should pay attention to me.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
It's a great uh, it's a great uh uh. So
it's a great character for him to one be honest
with you too, to make sure that us his child
is good in order to be able to get around. So, yeah,
he's paying a child support. You don't know how much
that child's support is. You don't know what he's paying
it's none of your business. You're not You're not the
(02:23):
number one right now. Yeah, you're dating to get to
know him. And so for him to say tell you
something that he did not need to tell you, and
he was being honest enough to say, look, you had
to pay a card note blah blah blah blah blah.
You know which they ain't her business anyway. If that's
what he chose to do to me, it shows that
(02:43):
if you were to have a child, that he would
give you.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
The same respect and honor.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
The problem is when some of y'all women sit over here,
see Dan well, Hi's man treats another woman with a child,
and y'all still date him.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
But then when you see.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
A guy who says, look, yeah, you know I had
to do that. It was honest enough to tell you true. Uh,
you know you second guess that. Now here's my thing.
If that is a problem, then you need to get
out now. If that's only you, you're not wrong. If
(03:19):
you feel like, oh, I might be second to his child,
to that woman, then bail out right now. But I
see a man doing the right thing. He's still cooking.
He's gonna cook you something to eat. Da da da
dah dah. Y'all gonna have a good time and chill outright,
But if you you know you're like, then bail out now. Yeah,
(03:45):
leave it alone.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
I think that when you're in a dating phase, you're
getting to know somebody, then this.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Is one of the things you need to know.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
You need to know you know what type of relationship
he has with his ex and you know where does
that leave you where? You know, these are things that
you'll answer over time, and you don't have to accept
any of them. You can go on about your business.
You can say, Okay, as I found out these things
about this man, I can't deal with that, and it's
(04:14):
okay for you to go on about your business.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I can't deal with him sitting up here talking about it.
He can't take me out because he had to pay
his child's mother's car note because she needed some help.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I can't deal with nothing like that.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
And you go ahead about your business and that's okay, yeah,
because I mean.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Listen, but steak and salmon.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
I mean, if somebody is inviting you over for steak
and salmon, there they're gonna put the put together a
meal for you, and you know want to do something
nice like that.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
I think that's nice.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
So so I'm curious to hear what you all have
to say about this. In five seven dgights, you're a
nine three one's eak. We'll go to the commons section.
We'll start off over here. Help this woman out. Wi
y'all got yes?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Meek said, so you still getting to know him, but
your expectations is that he ignores his already established responsibilities
to make sure you have a specific date.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
Ma'am, you're the red flag now.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Oh ooh, okay, see I didn't even read know these
common shit.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Okay, yeah, Now, Toya said, you still had a date.
That sounds lovely. He was honest. I wouldn't care if
he still made time for you. I wouldn't care if
he still made time for you. You're dating a man
with the kids, so you may want to rethink this
if this is what you want now that you see
he is still taking care of his ex.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
He sounds like a great guy. Not sure it's a
problem if he's telling you what's up?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Okay, And so these are women talking yeah okay.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
And Jackie said, don't get too attached too soon, sit
back and see how things continue to play out. Let's
see how many times her expenses come first. Might be
a red flag, might not. Sometimes we have to just
be quiet and observe it and go from there. If
it's a one time thing, he did the right thing
over and over.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Yeah, I'm going to ask women right now. Mother's right now,
Fathers call in. If you're dating a guy and he's
giving you this, you actually see it like it's no secrets,
you know, you see it. He's looking out for his
child's mother. Is that too much for you? Is that
a little bit too much? Is he doing too much?
(06:25):
Does that mean that you know, because everybody don't have
a battle, everybody don't have a dysfunctional co parenting situation. True,
everybody don't have it. I know that's kind of like
normal lot of y'all. But some people actually do get along, right,
and they not together.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
That's what I think.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
The new person would feel better if they didn't get
along or something like that, But I think it's good
that they still get along.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Is that is that attractive to you that he would
make sure the mother of his child.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Get some that's his child, or you could be the
rebound person now, and you know they might be on
a little break and you know that might still be questions.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
How long have they been broke up? Yeah, how long
has it been? How old is the child?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
All that? All that matters. All that matters.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, because if they really are the relationship and you
know that's their childhood sweethearts or whatever, and you're just
a fill in, you know, while they're working out their issues,
that that yeah, that could be a price.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So again, if y'all just tuning in. The new woman
who's going out with just got it a man.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Yeah, this is her man, her boyfriend, and they.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Were supposed to go out for a good dinner whatever.
But he turned around and took the money and helped
his child's mother buy I mean to pay.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
The car note, and he paid his bills.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
And he paid all his bills.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
It's smart. Yeah, I'm a little light. Why don't you
just come on over and I'm gonna cook some steaf,
makeing salmon.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
And then you want to know, is that a red flag?
M boy'all gonna tell y'all, y'all, y'all be chipping me out, y'all.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
It could be a red flag. It could be a
red They.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Would be nice, and then y'all want to call it
a red flag. Oh, he's being nice. Kid's mama. He
paid her card. No, he had to tell you that.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Well, you have to say that's a situation as a whole.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Uh yeah, Well, let a good argument be going on there.
Love that he fighting her, they argued, Uh huh uh huh.
I'm all up in there now, uh huh, all right,
but you gotta say.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
About it, Well, I will tell her that she is insecure.
Oh and the fact that she did not ask questions
before they got into this wonderful relationship. He knew she
had a daughter, and he knew she had he had
a baby mama. So the bottom line is that I'm
(08:58):
gonna tell you straight up. I dated a married man
and he came to my house with a microwave, and
I asked him, did you buy your your wife one?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I said, you need to take care of home first.
Sure he's coming out here, put in the game if
you don't know how to play. But he didn't do
that to her. He let her know, but he didn't
have to. He could have been like some of these
others come bags out there that would date her and
wait months and months later to say I got a
kid and a baby mama, But he didn't. He was
(09:30):
honest with her. Girl, go somewhere and get you some
self esteem.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
All right, all right, we heard from the side peace.
Appreciate you, beautiful.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I'm not the side piece. I'm twenty eight years married later.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Okay for former former.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Former that's when I was young and out there doing
what she doing.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That's right. Take the microwave home, boy, that's right.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
To take it to your house, because if she ain't
got a microwave, why should I have a microwave? We
ain't system wives, But take your home firstly? All right?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
All right, why it is from a former side piece?
All right, welcome to the show. What you got?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
What's going on?
Speaker 6 (10:12):
Simon Ken? You you know, it's funny when you be
open and honest with ladies and they still don't respect you.
You know, that's the most funniest part about it. You know,
here's the gentleman being open and honest with somebody knew
that he could have not even disclosed all of this
(10:33):
stuff with but him being transparent and saying, hey, well
here's what's going on with me, And you know it's
been a change of plans and if you're comfortable, here's
what I'll do. Okay, I have a daughter to sixteen
years old. I haven't slept with my child's mother in
over sixteen years. I pay child support. If over the
(10:59):
years the child mother has caught her said well, hey,
you know my car's in the shop. Can I use
one of your vehicles? No problem. She may even be
dating somebody, but as a man, that's still my responsibility
to make sure my child's mother is meeting all of
her needs for being met. Okay, outside of what we
(11:19):
had going on. And that's a to me, that was
a responsible gentleman. Yeah, that shows you, That shows you
he got your back exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah. Why would you date somebody that wouldn't do that,
wouldn't look out?
Speaker 6 (11:34):
And that's ladies problem.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
They date men that don't.
Speaker 6 (11:37):
Even take care of their kids.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Ye, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
You know what I mean, man that you.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Know some ladies, thank you, ken you, but you know
they'll date men if they don't see their kids, they
don't pay child support.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
And listen, listen, won't date you unless you have common
flick with your child's mother with Jacks.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
And that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
You're absolutely right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
That is crazy? Y'all too friendly?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
When is that same?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Y'all argue?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Y'all need a new one. Y'all need to argue like quick.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
That as messy as it could probably get. You know,
just like the other the other type of you guys
had about the lady saying over fifty. What the guys were,
you know, going through?
Speaker 6 (12:24):
Well, you know, it's the same thing for you guys.
She's over fifty, but you don't want to cook, you
don't want to do the woman things at fifty.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So what do you.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
You know?
Speaker 5 (12:39):
I don't know, man, exactly everything.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
Yeah, yeah, thank you Kenyan for being honest with that.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
We really appreciate it, really appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
I got you.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I see you Friday. Man. You guys take care man.
Cool