Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kenya has today's letter Real people realize situation Kenya.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
What's going on with today's letter?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
All right, Dear Sam, I'm a very single, forty year
old father here in Cleveland that has custody of his
children ages fourteen, ten, and seven. Recently, after years of
therapy and healing, I decided to get back out into
the dating world, and it honestly has been an eye
opening experience for me that I did not expect to
be such a challenge. My previous relationship was very draining
(00:28):
and toxic, so before doing so, I wanted to make
sure I put in the work to properly become a
better person, not just for myself, but for my children
and potential partner. It seems as if the more healing
I do, the harder dating has become as if the
women have person I have pursued are threatened or intimidated
(00:49):
by it, if that makes sense. The things that I
focused on improving were my communication skills, listening, compromising, and
understanding you know, the things they say they want from us. Overall,
in my journey, it has worked and I have seen
improvements in myself, but it has left me very lonely
because there are some things that I will no longer
(01:11):
tolerate or do. I let it be known very transparently
that I'm looking to date with purpose, especially with having
underage children that are with me full time, and on
multiple occasions I have been told I'm looking for a
fill in mom, which is not the case at all.
What I am looking for is a woman who has
(01:32):
the same intentions as me, someone who has the same
goals as I do. Instead, what I've been encountering is
women who enjoy being courted, the conversation, stability, and sex,
but none who have legitimate feelings for me or expectations.
Here comes the dilemma. In my younger years, I dated
a friend of my sister. Things just didn't work out
(01:54):
between us. Because of that, their friendship suffered. They didn't
speak for years, and my sister fault me for that.
Even though now they have gotten past it and rekindled
their friendship, I vowed to not deal in such close
proximity ever, again, learning the repercussions it has on people,
not even in the relationship. Until now, one of my
(02:16):
best friend's sisters keeps making passes at me and showing
interest that I've been attempting to ignore, but she isn't
letting up. She is an attractive, good woman who obviously
already has a relationship with both my family and children.
But my friend is overly protective and always has been.
(02:36):
He never was okay with any of our friend group
eyeing his sisters. She keeps saying we're all grown, so
I don't owe him or anyone else in explanation, which
is true. But even though we are, he just want to.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Know that if he can. It's shitty, holl it, that's long.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
It's so long. Okay, So here's a question. So my
question is do I a learn from my past us
and not risk it be give it a shot knowing
it could potentially mess up my friendship either way? Or see,
keep fishing in ponds, hoping my time isn't being wasted
trying to find a fish so close to you, keep looking.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Leave her alone. You already messed up with your sister
and they friendship. You don't want to mess this up
with your your You said this best.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Friend, that's one of his friends sisters, one of his
best friends sisters.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
No no, no.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Why would she even do that, Why would she even
be trying to do that?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
No, no, no, we ain't going.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, ain't going sound like a mess when you hit
that thing and then y'all it's not what you want
it to be. And then she feels some type of
way you're going to and he gonna be salty, you
know what I'm saying. You know, Uh, but he's grown
or hopefully a grown man, like she's a grown woman.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
You will hope that.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I mean, you knowthing you can really do if your
sister decided to holler at your boy, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
You know, you can say what.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
You want to, but uh, you know, he definitely gonna
he definitely gonna have words with you, because that's your boy.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
But he said he's been going to counseling. He's on
the up, and no.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
It sounds like he's still emotional wreck.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
That's what I'm getting he man, These women, the women
he dating been just they just been wanting to get
some and have some fun. And they ain't what he won't.
They ain't what You won't. Wait till you find it.
Just keep dating. That's part of getting back out there.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
You ain't gonna meet a whole bunch of people that's
on the same exact thing at one time.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You gotta go. You back on the market. It is
what it is. Just keep just just don't hit him.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Then you sound like you don't want emotional wreck because
if you hit him, they don't want to be with you,
They just want to kick it. Now you back to
being emotion Now, now you back to how you feel.
That's what I got out the letter. So what you
need to do You need to slow it up and
don't just so you want to date her for the convenience.
What it sounds like to me, you know what I'm saying,
And then you can mess up your friendship like that.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
You know he wants to be with some wants to
be lonely. But sisters are going to challenge their brothers.
But that is not your fight to get in the
middle of. Yeah, between her and her brother.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
So so let me ask you all grown folks right
now five seven nations you were now three one ska
those of you on social media watching us, what do
you think if you've grown You know, we were very
protected when we were when when I was in my
teens twenties, But if if your best friend and your
(05:30):
sibling I dig in each other, are you are you
going to say our hell on all, y'all ain't doing this?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Did you do it? And what happened? Should he just
continue to date until he finds missus?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
But the sister his sister. How many of your friends
sister ever came on to you? And what do you do?
What do you do?
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Or the brother or the brother? Is it all limits?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
We inside the Reality Hour right now, real people in
real life situations.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Ze said, k trying to help this man out.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So if you're just tuning in, so how long how
long has this guy forty years old been off the market?
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Well, he said, he's been in therapy for years.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
So therapy.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
See, yeah, he been in therapy, relationship therapy because he
got some stuff going on with him. So he's been
single for a while. And now all the women, yeah, children,
I get it. So he didn't do what majority with
some men do. They would just take all the free
kucie and you know, have fun with it. But he's
emotional wreck because none of these women. All they want
(06:41):
to do is pound him, have fun with him, have
sex with him, you know, and he he don't like that.
But not his best friend sister wants to be with him.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Yeah, he needs to keep going to therapy because he
ain't learned yet.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
He learned and then he dated his sister's best friend
and they fell out because.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Of their relationship. I'm just saying, uh, you hold on,
coming right to you. Uh, I'm coming right to you.
Hold on. What's going on?
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Hey, what's going on? Sam? And can you how y'all
doing that?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
You gotta talk to us?
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Yeah, man, dude, like you said, Man, he's seeming like
here emotional wreck.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Man.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
I mean, everybody already know that the Dayton scene is crazy. Now,
everybody know that. And then he missed he must be
hind none of the rock. Man, he just in he's
just in his feelings man, tripping man. And uh as
far as like Dayton, a friend's sister whatever like that.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, I mean it's.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Your friends saying, no, it's just too many fishing to see.
Don't mess your friendship up that, you.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Know, don't mess your friendship of over over a woman.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
Yeah, it's just too many fish in the seee.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Man.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
I mean, you know, dude needs to know, like you say,
keep on doing the conson and just you know, keep searching.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I ain't with that. We ain't doing
that one.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
What if that's his wife? What is what if that
is his potential life that next lifetime.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Man?
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Uh well yeah, because you know, like you said, man,
it's just too many fish. And she did mess up.
You know, he might deal with that girl might not
work and then like him and his friend might not.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Never speak because of that.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
So and then and then like you said, he you know,
I mean, what if it is just right, he might
marry it. They might get along with me, and then
you know, him his friend, my shell might never talk
again though, but he got him a real white I mean,
it's just it's just a lose little situation, you know,
it's just too many fish.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
That all right, man, appreciate it, Yeah, all right, reality,
I will help him out.
Speaker 6 (08:41):
So I personally feel like, you know, as grown adults,
you should be able to make your own decisions. But
in my defense, anytime I was interested in a friend's brother,
I was either giving a disclaimer or I just wasn't
interested at all, simply because I'm hearing firsthand how he's.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Doing other women.
Speaker 6 (08:59):
So I feel like it's long at that disclaimer is there,
and then you feel like trading in that. Just know
you're carrying that bucket on your own.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Sister. What you mentioned one of one of my brothers.
I'm telling you. They you know they they look. I'm
warning you now, I'm warning. I'm warning you.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Don't come back later he.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Gonna find down you and everything. And then after that,
after that, I know, saying one like you for two
for two weeks and.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I don't want to hear it. Now, don't come.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Two weeks trust me like shot, I hate her.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
No, that's the truth.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
They walk to the show.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
What's up, Sam? What's up to you? I don't play.
I'll play, but and that was a long letter, but
I don't play. It's a letter, you know what I'm saying.
But the potential here is what we're looking at it.
Potentially everything can work out great. My best friend, my
sisters Mary, we go to live on happy ever after.
That's great, right, But what if you don't? You poticially
gonna lose your woman. You particip you're gonna use your friends,
(10:01):
and I'm potentially going with your ass, if you know
what I'm saying. So if you really my friend, let's
leave that alone. I'm talking about I would still fight
you twenty years ago up my friend out you was
messing with my sister. You were supposed to be my
boy twenty years ago. I have a problem and I'm
still you were smiling in my face. You was playing
with me. You know what I'm saying, slaying with my emotions. Smokey. Yeah,
(10:25):
I'll play by my sister, Sam, I promise you.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
No, you know what, man, you take me back though
one of my one of our guys, did date.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
My best friend and sister, we all kicking it and
we like fans, we like family.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Meanwhile, they out there, they getting it in. They smash it.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
We found out later on, but she got a baby
that they had, the whole family.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
They got, the whole family didn't work out. I mean,
you know, you got a nephew on niece out of it.
But man, it's hard for me to swallow that one
and still shake your hand and smile in your faith.
Bread together.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Man.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
When they said they used to go back and forth
and get into it. Oh, man, talked to him.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
You talked to him. Man, We ain't talking to him.
What that?
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Man?
Speaker 4 (11:09):
I know you, that's fine. I know that's I know
my kids.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
That's you can't even fight him.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I got kids with him, Yeah, but I he