May 14, 2025 • 32 mins
Lizzie Eastham and Sam Rickard present Studio 1 - Vision Australia Radio’s weekly look at life from a low vision and blind point of view.
On this week’s show
"Mother's Day"
Out come the flowers and chocolates as we celebrate Mother’s day a few days late.
Lisa talks about her experiences as a mum with a Vision Impairment, the challenges and the joys. Vision Australia’s own Sarah Evans talks about the differences between being a single-parent and also where Vision Impaired Parents can go for some peer guidance.
Studio 1 welcomes any input from our listeners. If you have any experience or thoughts about issues covered in this episode or believe there is something we should be talking about.
EMAIL: studio1@visionaustralia.org or leave comment on the station’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/VARadioNetwork
Thank you to Sarah and Lisa.
For more help with some of the issues in this week’s show go to: https://www.visionaustralia.org/services/find-services/social-recreation-wellbeing
This program was made possible with support from the Community Broadcasting Foundation. Find out more at https://cbf.org.au/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:07):
This is studio one on Vision Australia Radio.
S2 (00:16):
Hello, I'm Sam and I'm Lizzie, and this is Studio One,
your weekly look at life from a low vision and
blind point of view. Here on Vision Australia Radio.
S3 (00:23):
This week we celebrate Mother's Day a little late.
S2 (00:27):
Lisa and Sarah talk about their experiences as parents with
a vision impairment, both the joys and some of the pitfalls.
S3 (00:33):
As we always say at this point, please do get
in touch with the show. Whether you have experience of
any of the issues covered on this week's episode of
Studio One, or if you think there's something we should
be talking about. You never know. Your story and insight
may help someone who's dealing with something similar.
S2 (00:49):
Please contact us via email studio one at Vision Australia. Org.
That's studio number one at Vision Australia.
S3 (00:54):
Org or of course, you can drop us a note
on the station's Facebook page by going to facebook.com. Radio network.
Happy belated Mother's Day to all of the mums out there.
S2 (01:09):
Well, it is a bit late, but, um. Funny thing is, is, uh,
we don't go out on a Sunday, so, um, some
parts of the, some parts of Australia we are repeated
on a Saturday. But, um, though this is, this is
late Mother's Day.
S3 (01:22):
Yes. And all the important people already know how much
we love them. I know that you're listening. Mum. Oma. Grandma,
I love you all. And yes, happy belated Mother's Day.
S2 (01:33):
So, what did you get up to on Sunday anyway?
S3 (01:35):
I actually went out for lunch with my mum. We
went to Vili's and we had the most amazing food
and conversation. I think we spent near three hours there
just chatting and eating and yeah, it was great. Um,
funny story though, I ordered a flat white and my
stepson ordered a hot chocolate. So to differentiate the flat
(01:55):
white from the hot chocolate, some silly bugger decided to
put paint on the lid. And so I had white
paint all over my face and my hands, which I
was not happy about.
S2 (02:05):
Oh well. Okay. It leaves you with a mother's day
experience to remember, though that's.
S3 (02:10):
I'm not likely to.
S2 (02:10):
Forget it. So, um, my mum is at the moment
in Darwin and recovering from, uh, a misadventure, as it were.
But she does not like Mother's Day whatsoever. Why? Um,
she just simply says it's, um, got her own reasons anyway.
So at some stage, I will have to give her
a call just to see how she's going. But I
tend to make sure that it's either, um, a day
(02:33):
before or a day after. Otherwise, yes, I will get mercilessly, um,
paid out for just calling her on Mother's Day.
S3 (02:40):
Right. Well, I think one of our guests will at
least agree that Mother's Day is every day. And I
guess it is, in a way.
S2 (02:48):
Well, I think both of them would agree. Um, so
last year we spoke to Sarah Evans about, well, dating blind.
It was one of our more popular things. And Sarah. Well,
I'll leave it to her to explain what she does.
And well, over to you, Sarah.
S4 (03:06):
Hi, Sam. How are you going?
S5 (03:08):
Oh.
S2 (03:08):
It's it's this funny middle stage of the year where
it's not too not cold. It's not hot. It's just irritating. Uh,
what's it like over in Brisbane at the moment?
S6 (03:17):
Look, we're just starting to get the cooler evenings, which
is so pleasant. It's really lovely. And the days are sunny,
as always, so. Yeah. Lovely.
S2 (03:25):
Um, my memories of Brisbane are actually being rather cold,
I've got to admit. Um, Brisbane. Brisbane is one of
those places where it's all designed for warm weather.
S6 (03:36):
So.
S2 (03:36):
It doesn't take much for it to feel cold. And
especially from someone from Darwin like me. Everything's cold, face it.
So even even Brisbane in summer can get cold. But anyway, uh, um, well,
let's just start with a statement that. Well, my mother
said once about Mother's Day because she doesn't like celebrating it.
(03:57):
Because every day should be Mother's Day.
S6 (03:59):
I love that. I think she's she's she's onto something there.
I'd love it if my my kids treated me like
that every day. It'd be awesome.
S2 (04:07):
What is maybe your best Mother's Day experience? And maybe
we can then talk about your worst Mother's Day experience.
S6 (04:14):
Oh, that's a really good question. So I guess on reflection,
I think my best one was the when the kids
were in primary school, they do all their crafts and
things like that, and they were also doing, um, scouts
after school. And so there was all these little gifts
and trinkets and handmade things that they'd made soaps and, uh,
(04:34):
there was a washcloth in the shape of a teddy bear.
Like all that kind of stuff. So that was really lovely. And,
you know, coffee in the morning. So that was nice and.
S2 (04:44):
All right, maybe not the worst experience, but maybe the
most dodgy, because I think the dodgy experiences are the
fun experiences.
S6 (04:50):
Uh, I think it's probably going to be this year
because I've already I'd something I want to buy myself
and the kids are like, okay, well, you can just
do that because they're teenagers now and they're only going
to spend my money anyway. So I think possibly this year.
But I might be surprised. You never know.
S2 (05:05):
Well, I suppose get back to us, let us know.
S6 (05:07):
Um.
S2 (05:08):
All right. Let's talk about you. So you, as we
established last year, you are a quality living coordinator. Now,
what does that involve?
S6 (05:18):
Ah, it is an awesome role I get to, you know,
see people along their vision loss journey. So some of
our clients are new to vision loss. So we support
them through that journey, kind of show them what services
and things are available to them when they're ready, you know, O&M,
all that kind of stuff. And some of our clients
are kind of, uh, you know, long term vision loss.
(05:40):
And so they can connect with the community of people
that they might not have connected with before. So it's
coming together discussing challenges and strategies around vision losses as
a group.
S2 (05:48):
So it's mainly just, um, group therapy, as it were.
Do you deal with anybody 1 to 1 on one
on one if you need to.
S6 (05:54):
That's kind of a little bit outside of our scope.
We do have one on one conversations to, you know,
establish goals, kind of see where people are at, what
they're wanting to talk about. And we do refer out.
So for our over 65, we have the check in
and chat. And then for people under 65 we can
refer to, you know, counselors, psychologists. There is a peer
support program for one on one as well.
S2 (06:13):
Um, one of the other things you do what the
tele link programs, I believe are.
S6 (06:17):
Yes. So I was a volunteer with that team doing
a dating. So people interested, people with vision impairment trying
to get back into the dating scene or into the
dating scene. Um, but I'm not sure if they've got
a new facilitator for that one yet.
S2 (06:31):
Uh, what what particular issues? I mean, so is it
mainly vision loss or um, do we, you know, are
we talking about other issues that might be facing someone
like myself, for example, who is, um, you know, trying
to get work or something like that?
S6 (06:43):
Yeah. We do. I've just wrapped up an evening group
for working clients. Uh, so they obviously are working during
the day, so that's not an appropriate time for them.
So we do it in the evening. It goes for
1.5 hours and we talk about similar kind of topics,
but as it relates to employment. So they may then
we could talk about kind of feelings around that the
(07:05):
the emotional adjustment and supports. But it's kind of from
a as well as maintaining work perspective as well.
S2 (07:12):
It can be quite a shock, especially if you've not
held down a job before to actually learn what it's
like to actually, you know, the work culture. It is
quite different to the normal world, isn't it?
S6 (07:24):
It is is a lot of learning. I know at
our Vision Australia here, it's kind of a supportive environment,
so I can imagine it'll be ten times harder if
you're in a competitive environment.
S2 (07:33):
Indeed. I mean, even things like, I mean, how how
you use your work email and, uh, inappropriate conduct for people.
So if someone annoys you, you don't just zip off
an angry email to them. You might want to actually, um,
which I've seen happen. Um, so, uh, yeah. I mean,
is there anything that's that's actually without violating any confidentiality,
(07:55):
is there anything that sort of surprised you, uh, when
dealing with these group sessions?
S6 (07:59):
Interesting. Yeah. I think some of the things people would
like to talk about is kind of what you were saying.
There is like how to relate to other people in
the workplace. So disclosure like, who do I tell? Like
because they're kind of on that, uh, half and half,
like they're just starting to lose their vision. So how
much support do I get? Am I going to be
taken advantage of if a colleague knows that I have
(08:22):
a vision impairment? Um, is my manager going to allow
me time to adjust or, um, do the training that's
involved in, you know, using a computer and give me
that time to be able to do my role, um,
in this new way.
S2 (08:35):
Wow. And just like that, we've got sidetracked. Anyway.
S4 (08:40):
That's a whole nother topic.
S7 (08:42):
It is a whole nother topic.
S2 (08:43):
We should. We should get you back to, uh, talk
about some of that when we go back to the
world of employment. I think that would be absolutely fascinating.
But I mean, so we're back to the topic of
the day, um, parenthood, as it were. And you've kind
of experienced parenthood as both a single and a non
single parent. Maybe we can sort of look into that
(09:05):
a little bit. I mean, how is it different dealing
with things on your own as opposed to as, as,
as being part of a couple.
S6 (09:11):
Yeah. So I would say there is good and bad
to both. Um, so initially, uh, my partner and I,
when we had the kids, I could rely on him, um,
I could kind of defer to him. But as the
relationship went along, he kind of like, he like one
of the jobs he, uh, sought out was to drive buses,
(09:33):
kind of for schoolkids. And so when I needed him,
you know, to take the kids to school and to
pick the kids up from school, he was working. So
then that fell to me. So, you know, you can
rely on your partner a little bit. Um, but then
as a single person, it all comes to you. So
I get to make all the decisions and I get
to kind of so there's yeah, good and bad to both.
S2 (09:52):
As a child of a single parent family, um, myself, um,
one of the things is that you build up a
very different relationship when it's.
S6 (10:00):
Just.
S2 (10:01):
You and the kids. That's at least from my point
of view. Have you noticed that.
S6 (10:05):
I have, um, so I do tend to the kids
do have to do a little bit more in the home. Um, their,
the expectations of them are a bit higher. Um, when
you're a single parent, I think that's for most single
parent families where the labor gets dispersed differently. So, uh,
it can teach them, uh, can teach them to be
(10:27):
a little bit, uh, more grown up. But in some ways,
they're still kids, and they still want to want mom
to do everything.
S2 (10:33):
And where does that your disability come into that? I mean,
you mentioned off air that there are two sides to that.
And of course, you've got two, um, teenage kids now.
So their their views of the world are changing as well.
How does that relate to you as a visually impaired person?
S6 (10:48):
Yes, it's I think it's always a negotiation, um, with
the kids, because at the end of the day, they
just want a parent. Um, and so it's tricky for
to know when, when to ask them for help and
when to, like, let them be kids. So, um, sometimes,
you know, I'll need a menu read or we'll be out. Um,
(11:11):
and so it is good to have your own backup
and technology and your own skills in place so that if,
you know, my daughter has, uh, ADHD and my son
has autism. And so they all have their own special
needs as well. And so it's about negotiating who needs
what when kind of thing.
S2 (11:29):
Well, and also they're coming up to that magical time.
And that is driver's license I mean that must be fantastic.
It might all of a sudden hopefully you're going to
have somebody who can drive you around, at least for
a couple of years.
S6 (11:40):
Yes. That is my hope. Uh, and we're having that
conversation now. So my daughter's of the age where she
can start, uh, doing her learner's and stuff like that.
So she's got the she's passed the test, which is good. Um,
we need to get her some hours. So we're going
to look at, uh, either reaching out to family support
because obviously you can't do that myself. Uh, I believe
(12:01):
Pcyc do like, um, retirees help out and do some
volunteer work and help low income families with driving and
things like that. So we're going to look at options
for that for her. Um, and then we are discussing
where that boundary is about, okay, if I purchase a car,
how much time would you feel comfortable supporting me and
(12:21):
how much can you use it for you? So there's
a negotiation there.
S2 (12:24):
I've got to admit. And some, um, our friends have
got kids now with driver's license. And I was like,
can't you lend them to us to drive us around
as well?
S6 (12:33):
Yes, that would be awesome. Although, um, my daughter, because
I've said to her, you know, like you've got the
experience to make a great support worker. She was quite
adamant about having a career in film and television, so
she's not inclined that way.
S7 (12:46):
How do they both go as far as.
S2 (12:48):
Um, their empathy towards, um, people with disability go? And
is that do you think that the having lived with
you for a long period of time, whether they just
take it all for granted or or or is it
do they respond differently to disability, you think, than other people?
S6 (13:05):
I think that is an awesome question. And again, I'd
have to say there's light and dark. So in some ways,
like when I remember when she was ten and we
were walking through the shopping centre and she was had
one one hand on the trolley and it was like
going all up and down the aisle. And I'm like,
what are you doing? Like you're all over the place.
And she said, oh, I saw a man with one arm.
And I wanted to know what it must be like
(13:26):
for him. And so I think she kind of has
a natural empathy. Um, you know, when she was three
and I was kind of in the kitchen doing things,
and I just stopped and paused and I was listening
because I'm like, what is going on? She's like, oh, mum,
there's a workman on the roof next door. And so
she knew what I was listening like. She knew that
there was a sound. I was trying to work it
out and she gave me the answer I was looking
(13:48):
for without a conversation. So in some ways, it's really,
really good. They kind of demystify disability for them so
they understand people with disabilities are just people living their lives.
They've seen it every day. Um, so they're not kind
of scared or intimidated or awkward because they kind of
know in other ways they can take advantage because they're
still kids and they're pushing boundaries. So when she was again,
(14:12):
around that kind of ten age, you know, coming home
from school and I was at this back gate waiting
for them, they all looked the same in their uniforms.
She altered her hairstyle to look different because she knew
and so she could, like, run in front of me
and then go play with her friends because she didn't
want to go home straight away. So yeah, they can
take advantage of it, but they can also be, uh, empathetic,
(14:34):
empathetic towards it as well.
S2 (14:35):
No one's tried to, I don't know, sneak something into
the shopping trolley without you noticing or.
S6 (14:40):
All the time.
S2 (14:41):
Aha.
S6 (14:42):
Yeah, but it's good now because they take care of
the online orders. So I get to check.
S2 (14:47):
One of the concerns that, I mean, if someone is
in a situation where they're in a marriage that is
not working or something like that is that they might,
might not be able to cope as a single person
with the kids, but also separating personal life from family life,
as it were. How did you go with that?
S6 (15:10):
It okay? To be honest, it's not easy. It's really hard,
especially initially. But I would say the relationship breakdown was
a natural consequence of my confidence increasing. Okay, so I
was probably in a better place to separate. And that
(15:30):
kind of spiraled. So the more confidence I got, the
more I wanted to do things for myself and the
more things I did for myself, the more confidence grew. Um,
so it's about kind of skill development, I guess, and
just having the trusting yourself that you you can do this.
S2 (15:44):
And I'm going to put something else to you here.
A friend of mine used to sort of define herself by, um,
whether she was with somebody else or not and how
successful that relationship was. How do you now, uh, approach
that as, um, well, as someone out there in the
world with a with a disability.
S6 (16:05):
Oh, I don't have time like that, to be fair.
I just I don't have time to consider, like, I've
got the kids. I've got myself. I'm working. Um, there's
a little bit of studying there, too. Um, running a household, like. Yeah,
I don't know where. I mean, I would like to date, um.
And I'm happy to do that, but it'd have to
be with someone who will fit into our lifestyle. I
(16:28):
don't yeah.
S2 (16:29):
So if there's somebody out there and, uh, they're willing
to to do a lot of hard work themselves. Then
maybe you'd consider it.
S6 (16:35):
Yeah, yeah, they'd have to bring something to the table
just as I have, so.
S2 (16:40):
Thank you. Sarah. Um. It's been it's been great having
a chat and, uh, happy Mother's day. I hope that
special present that you've been semi promised materializes.
S6 (16:51):
That's all good. And if there's anyone out there who'd
like to join our quality living groups for parents, we
have those available too. So, uh, give us a shout
out at Vision Australia, and we can pop you into
one of those groups.
S2 (17:01):
And we'll include the links on our podcast notes. Thanks again. Sarah.
S6 (17:05):
Thanks, Sam.
S3 (17:11):
So what is your plan for Mother's Day today?
S8 (17:13):
Um, just catching up with the grandparents, um, with my
son there as well. And just have a little Mother's
Day with my grandmother. So there's usual Sunday thing to do, but, um,
probably have some Mother's Day cake or something. Another excuse
for my grandfather to buy cake. And do you have Leo's.
S3 (17:32):
Bought you any presents?
S8 (17:34):
I know he's got me a couple. Oh, but you.
S3 (17:36):
Don't know.
S8 (17:37):
Where they are. Or do you? I do know what
they are. Because everybody kept asking me, like, what do
you want for Mother's Day? And I'm like, oh, well,
that's easy. You're gonna know what you're gonna get. So
what are you getting? Um, so I'm gonna get flowers
and chocolates and a bluey onesie pajama thing. Oh, well,
at least.
S3 (17:56):
You'll be cozy.
S8 (17:57):
In winter. After last summer? Yeah. So how old is
Leo now? He is seven and a half years old.
S3 (18:05):
Seven and a half. Now, being a mom is hard
enough as it is, I should imagine.
S8 (18:11):
Yes, definitely. I imagine that.
S3 (18:12):
Being a mom with vision impairment can.
S8 (18:14):
Be.
S3 (18:14):
Harder. So when you told people that you were pregnant,
what were their reactions, especially given your vision impairment?
S8 (18:22):
Well, um, a lot of people were like, but you're
vision impaired. And I'm like, yeah. And Like my eyes
don't affect my fertility. It's history. Uh, my vision doesn't
affect my. Want to become a parent. Yeah. Um. And. Yeah,
I mean, my grandfather was rather excited because Leo is
(18:43):
the first great grandchild. And, yeah, on the day I
found out I was pregnant with Leo, I told grandpa
the next day because he'd actually had the stroke on
the day I found out I was pregnant. Yeah. So
I wasn't going to tell anybody so soon, but I
had to tell him to give him something to look
forward to. Other people's reactions were, you know, you get
some people, you know, they're really happy for you, particularly
if they've known you long enough to know that the
(19:05):
vision impairment is really not going to be the problem
with becoming a mother. Yeah. And, um, others were, you know, questioning, well,
how are you going to do this if you can't
see and all that? And I'm like, well, I'll find
out a way.
S3 (19:16):
What about like, people in the medical profession? Because like,
obviously you have to go to the same appointments and
things like that. Were they open.
S8 (19:22):
Minded. So the medical profession actually was a lot better
than I was expecting. I mean, I knew my doctor
would be good. Um, so when I went to see
her and tell her that I was pregnant and all that,
she was fantastic. She sent me on to doing all things, um,
because I had a missed miscarriage beforehand. You know, we
did early ultrasounds and stuff like that. Yep. And, yeah,
I can't really see anything on the ultrasound. So I
(19:44):
was lucky with some of the technicians were good at
describing stuff for me and all that. Yeah. Um, the hospital,
I already had a long hospital record with the Women's
and Children's Hospital because of my vision impairment when I
was younger. So they pulled out my final vision impaired
before I even got to the to the appointment. They
already knew it all, and they were quite good when
(20:06):
I was in, when I was in giving birth and
just after and all that, they allowed my partner to
stay afterwards. Uh, more than what they allow other, uh,
parents to, to assist with vision issues and all that.
And yeah, I had a really good experience from the
medical professionals, but I know that's not always everybody's experience
(20:27):
as well.
S3 (20:27):
Yeah. And your son has a few different issues.
S8 (20:32):
Yes. My son has been diagnosed with autism. Yeah, he
has global developmental delay. He did inherit my vision impairment.
And he's got astigmatism on top of it. And in
the early years, he was having a lot of seizures. Fortunately,
he's grown out of them.
S3 (20:48):
So there.
S8 (20:49):
Would be a lot.
S3 (20:49):
Of appointments to go to. Like, I take him to
hydrotherapy and physiotherapy and speech therapy.
S8 (20:56):
And the appointments early on were ridiculous because obviously we
had a lot of diagnosis appointments and vision appointments and
stuff with the Women's and Children's Hospital. Yeah, I was
in the hospital at one point, like six out of
the seven days. Mind you, some of that was when
Leo had had an accident and bit through his lip. Ooh. Um.
And he had to have surgery to fix that one up. But, yeah, we, uh,
(21:20):
early days were a lot of the, uh, paediatrician. The vision,
the developmental delay teams. And then eventually we went through
the child development team to having diagnosed with autism. And
once all that was done, yeah, we had speech therapy, physiotherapy,
occupational therapy. He started hydrotherapy a couple of years ago.
(21:40):
Now that he's at school, the physio and speech go
to the school. So that's two less appointments we actually
have to worry about.
S3 (21:46):
Oh that's.
S8 (21:47):
Great. But um, yeah, I take, I have to take
Leo to his occupational therapy and his dad takes him
to the swimming, so he split that nicely.
S3 (21:54):
And what about when it came to putting him through school? Like,
did the school have any hesitations about taking on a
child with vision impairment? Or the fact that you were
a mother with a vision impairment?
S8 (22:04):
So they obviously sat down and discussed it all with me. Obviously,
particularly in regards to accessibility for forms and stuff like that,
because obviously I still had to sign all the same
forms every other parent does. And um, they were good
because they'd sit down and read the forms out to me.
The school that my son goes to is to just
a kilometer away from where I am, so it's easy
(22:24):
to walk to us. And he is in a special
options class. And they have involved other schools like Sassy
and Kilkerran, and also guide dogs into his supports in
the school. And they're really good at supporting him. And yeah,
whenever forms come out and all that, if I need help,
they'll read it out to me. They'll tell me where
(22:45):
I need to sign. The school has been very supportive
and it's actually expanding its, um, special needs options and
all that within the school as well to accommodate more students.
So let's.
S3 (22:55):
Go backwards a little.
S8 (22:55):
Bit.
S3 (22:56):
To when he was a new bub. What about feeding
and clothing him and stuff like that? Did you have
any challenges?
S8 (23:03):
So initially I did want to actually breastfeed. I had
no problems with milk supply, a big milk supply, but
that's when I realized everything that all the other mothers
could see. I couldn't, but the nurse would just say, oh,
I see he's in this position. I'm like, nope, can't
see it. And I mean, I keep forgetting how vision
impaired I actually am because when I'm in a familiar area,
I've got a lot of visual memory, so I may
(23:26):
not see something, but my brain will fill in the
gap because it knows what's supposed to be there. It's
when I'm trying to see something that's brand new. The
brain just goes, I can't fill in the gap. You're
going to have to help me here. Um, and so
things like feeding, changing nappies and all that was very
much a quick learn. And it's also where I started
to learn how much more I actually rely on my
sense of touch. And I'm actually cognitively realised. Yeah. Because
(23:49):
I also developed carpal tunnel in both hands from the pregnancy.
And it's not unusual to end up with carpal tunnel
from pregnancy, but it usually goes away after pregnancy. Yeah,
unfortunately my body didn't get the memo for that and
I was I was completely numb on the fingers. Now
you try and change a nappy when you can't feel
that you're touching the nappy straps and stuff like that.
And it became quite a problem. And that's when I realised,
(24:11):
oh my God, I'm so reliant on my sense of touch.
So I've had to have Operation Both Hands to correct that.
Thankfully it worked. And then as Leo started getting older,
I started realizing, you know, when he's moving around and
all that again, not realizing that I actually have such
a restricted field of vision as only because he wasn't
in my field of vision. Then I realized, hang on,
(24:31):
I can't see. Yeah. And, um, so I had to
be a lot more diligent looking around for him. His
first time he disappeared in the shop. He was only
just just barely crawling. And I put him down on
the floor to do something with the pram because I
wasn't working. And I look around and where is he?
I'm like, oh, God, he's gone on a blind spot again.
I'm looking around. No, he'd actually ducked underneath the clothes rack.
(24:53):
Oh no. As we have his little heart attack trying
to find him. Unfortunately, he made a noise. I was
able to track him down and he's a little older.
He's probably toddler age. He, um, started figuring out that
I can't see in the dark. And so he'd hide
in the darkest part of the room at night time,
and I'd go in. I could go in to check
on him, and he sort of figured out. But luckily
(25:13):
for me, he can't keep quiet. She said he started giggling.
I turned around, looked at him like in the dark.
I knew he was right there. And he goes, uh
oh yeah, get back in that bed. And even though
I was with him being seven, he's figured out I'm
very good at listening. So he tries, he'll come into
(25:34):
my room, he'll close the door, and I go, what
are you up to, Leo? He's like, I'm gonna do it.
And I'm like, you know, you're not supposed to do that. Yeah,
so I just want to try and close the door.
S3 (25:45):
So despite, you know, his various, like, disabilities and other issues,
he is still, as you know, messy and mischievous and
cheeky as other kids.
S8 (25:56):
Yes.
S3 (25:57):
So how do you deal with, like, when he makes
a mess in the kitchen or when he tries to
pour himself a bowl of cereal and the milk runs.
S8 (26:04):
Over and oh my God, how many times has he
done that? So some of the things that I'm starting
to do with him is if it's bigger packaging, he's
not allowed to do it himself. But I am starting
to like figure out which sort of one would say
which cereals he likes most in the morning, and if
he wants to do himself in the morning, I will
scoop up the cereal into little containers and so that
he can tip the container in there. And also because
(26:25):
I buy the milk in the three litre bottles. Yeah,
I've got a little 500ml little container. It looks like
a clear milk, like, you know, those, um, carton of milks. Yeah.
But it's just clear plastic so you can actually see
the milk in it. And I pour some of the
milk into that so that he still maintains his independence
and all that. But then I don't have to worry
about trying to find a big mess. So not to
say that I don't find big messes when he doesn't
(26:46):
do what he's supposed to do, and it's usually I've
stepped in it or, um, you know, put something in it.
The countertops I have are dark, so when milk spills
on it, it's easy to see. But if it's on
the ground because my grounds are light color, I can't
see it. So I have to tell I'm trying to
get him at the moment to remember to. If he
makes a mess, he needs to tell me so it
can be cleaned up.
S3 (27:06):
Now you said the school is walking distance. Do you
have any help getting to and from school again?
S8 (27:10):
So at the moment I do have help with a
support worker who has quickly become my friend as well. Yeah. And, um,
most of that is just for supervision because Leo likes
to sort of walk on his own and he doesn't
always walk in front of me. He likes to walk
behind me. And I also use a guide dog. Um, so,
you know, trying to keep an eye on the dog
and the kid at the same time, particularly on a
(27:31):
Tuesday where it's been night and most of the path
is blocked off by bins. Yeah, it's nice to have
that extra set of eyes on him.
S3 (27:39):
Absolutely.
S8 (27:39):
Yeah. The afternoon? Not so much. But by the time
the afternoon goes sort of wound down, a little bit
of the energy and he's happy to tell me about
his day and all that.
S3 (27:48):
Yeah. And you said the other day that when you've
been sick, he's quite helpful.
S8 (27:52):
I've been sick and he's actually come in and he's actually, um,
maybe breakfast in bed. Mhm. He comes in. Mummy, do
you need a drink. And you know he'll bring in
the Pepsi Max or whatever else. Like I usually do
a Pepsi Max because it's a closed can. He's not
going to spill it. Yeah. He'll feed the the guide
dog for me. Oh wow. Oh, and like, he and
(28:14):
I usually if he does those days, I give him
a little extra pocket money because he's gone above and
beyond for helping mommy. But yeah, he's he's a real
little champ and helping mommy out. What?
S3 (28:23):
Breakfast in bed? Yeah.
S8 (28:24):
Usually he brings me in nutrigrain. Sometimes with milk, sometimes
without milk. I honestly, I like it without the milk
when he brings it in. Because I don't want an
accidental milk spill in the bed. Because, yeah, when you're sick,
you don't want to have to clean up the bed.
S3 (28:37):
No. That's lovely. And what I mean, has he made
you breakfast in bed before for Mother's Day, or has
he attempted to?
S8 (28:45):
Attempted to?
S3 (28:46):
Yes. What? What has he made you? What's the worst
Mother's Day breakfast you've had?
S8 (28:50):
Fortunately, he had supervision, so it hasn't really been that bad.
But he did do something like toast with jam on
it and stuff like that. But he hasn't tried any, uh,
cooking or anything because I'm not real big eater of
breakfast anyway. So toast. Toast with jam or cereal is
usually my go to breakfasts Anyway. Yeah. So at least
(29:10):
then that limits the destruction. Well, not just the destruction,
but the getting something you're not quite wanting and still
have to pretend it's. Oh it's lovely to you. Mhm.
S3 (29:23):
So does he always make you feel special on Mother's
Day though.
S8 (29:26):
He makes me feel special every day. His favorite saying
is mummy I love you. And he goes mummy I
love you even when you're yelling at me.
S9 (29:34):
Oh that's lovely.
S8 (29:36):
And I think it comes from because when, when I
get upset with him I'll tell him off and all that.
But I say but mummy still loves you. So he's
doing that now. I'd still love you even when you're
yelling at me. But yeah, he. Last Mother's Day, he
just kept going. Happy Mother's Day all day. And I
think that's the autism that it's really sweet.
S9 (29:55):
It is. Oh that's lovely.
S8 (29:56):
But the sweetest thing he's ever said to me. I
was having a bit of a down day. Found out
something I didn't want to know. And, um, he had
no idea. I found it out. He just came up
to me, climbs onto my lap, and he goes, mommy,
you're my hero.
S3 (30:09):
Oh.
S8 (30:10):
I burst into tears just over that. No, kiddo, you're
my hero.
S3 (30:14):
He's so sweet. He's such a sweet kid.
S8 (30:17):
He is, he is. He gets it off with his mom.
S3 (30:19):
We'll have to get him once you go on one day.
S8 (30:21):
Oh, I'm sure he'd love to talk. You might not
be able to shut him up.
S3 (30:26):
That's okay. Well, thanks for chatting with us, Lisa. I
hope you enjoy the rest of your Mother's Day.
S8 (30:30):
No worries.
S3 (30:31):
Thank you. And, uh, eat all the chocolates before he
gets to him.
S8 (30:34):
He's got his own chocolates.
S3 (30:36):
Oh, no. But if he's anything like Jesse, he'll give
you chocolates and then ask you two hours later if
he can have one of your chocolates.
S8 (30:42):
Oh. So that was a long gap. Usually it's like,
two minutes later.
S3 (30:45):
Your mom. I got you chocolate, but can I have
three chocolate?
S8 (30:48):
Pretty much.
S3 (30:48):
Yep. Ah. All right. We'll go and enjoy the rest
of your Mother's Day.
S8 (30:52):
Thank you.
S5 (30:53):
Well, that's a wrap for this week. A big thank
you to Lisa and Sarah.
S3 (30:57):
And of course, thank you for listening. And that includes
our listeners on the Reading Radio Network. As usual, you
can find this program along with some extra content on Apple, Spotify,
Google or your favorite podcast platform.
S2 (31:10):
Next week for Volunteer Week, we ask what are the
benefits of volunteering?
S3 (31:15):
We hear from a couple of friends who give up
their time to make radio shows. Kind of like this one.
S2 (31:21):
But between now and then, please do get in touch
with the show. Whether you have experience of any of
the issues covered on this week's episode of Studio One,
or if you think there is something we should be
talking about. You never know. Your story and insight may
help somebody else who is dealing with something similar.
S3 (31:35):
You can reach out via email at Studio One at
Vision Australia. Org. That's studio number one at Vision Australia.
Org or of course you can find us on all
the good social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram by
searching for VA Radio Network. We want to hear from you.
S2 (31:53):
This program was made possible with support from the Community
Broadcasting Foundation. Find out more by going to cbsnews. Bye
for now.
S3 (32:02):
Hi.
This is studio one on Vision Australia Radio.
S2 (00:16):
Hello, I'm Sam and I'm Lizzie, and this is Studio One,
your weekly look at life from a low vision and
blind point of view. Here on Vision Australia Radio.
S3 (00:23):
This week we celebrate Mother's Day a little late.
S2 (00:27):
Lisa and Sarah talk about their experiences as parents with
a vision impairment, both the joys and some of the pitfalls.
S3 (00:33):
As we always say at this point, please do get
in touch with the show. Whether you have experience of
any of the issues covered on this week's episode of
Studio One, or if you think there's something we should
be talking about. You never know. Your story and insight
may help someone who's dealing with something similar.
S2 (00:49):
Please contact us via email studio one at Vision Australia. Org.
That's studio number one at Vision Australia.
S3 (00:54):
Org or of course, you can drop us a note
on the station's Facebook page by going to facebook.com. Radio network.
Happy belated Mother's Day to all of the mums out there.
S2 (01:09):
Well, it is a bit late, but, um. Funny thing is, is, uh,
we don't go out on a Sunday, so, um, some
parts of the, some parts of Australia we are repeated
on a Saturday. But, um, though this is, this is
late Mother's Day.
S3 (01:22):
Yes. And all the important people already know how much
we love them. I know that you're listening. Mum. Oma. Grandma,
I love you all. And yes, happy belated Mother's Day.
S2 (01:33):
So, what did you get up to on Sunday anyway?
S3 (01:35):
I actually went out for lunch with my mum. We
went to Vili's and we had the most amazing food
and conversation. I think we spent near three hours there
just chatting and eating and yeah, it was great. Um,
funny story though, I ordered a flat white and my
stepson ordered a hot chocolate. So to differentiate the flat
(01:55):
white from the hot chocolate, some silly bugger decided to
put paint on the lid. And so I had white
paint all over my face and my hands, which I
was not happy about.
S2 (02:05):
Oh well. Okay. It leaves you with a mother's day
experience to remember, though that's.
S3 (02:10):
I'm not likely to.
S2 (02:10):
Forget it. So, um, my mum is at the moment
in Darwin and recovering from, uh, a misadventure, as it were.
But she does not like Mother's Day whatsoever. Why? Um,
she just simply says it's, um, got her own reasons anyway.
So at some stage, I will have to give her
a call just to see how she's going. But I
tend to make sure that it's either, um, a day
(02:33):
before or a day after. Otherwise, yes, I will get mercilessly, um,
paid out for just calling her on Mother's Day.
S3 (02:40):
Right. Well, I think one of our guests will at
least agree that Mother's Day is every day. And I
guess it is, in a way.
S2 (02:48):
Well, I think both of them would agree. Um, so
last year we spoke to Sarah Evans about, well, dating blind.
It was one of our more popular things. And Sarah. Well,
I'll leave it to her to explain what she does.
And well, over to you, Sarah.
S4 (03:06):
Hi, Sam. How are you going?
S5 (03:08):
Oh.
S2 (03:08):
It's it's this funny middle stage of the year where
it's not too not cold. It's not hot. It's just irritating. Uh,
what's it like over in Brisbane at the moment?
S6 (03:17):
Look, we're just starting to get the cooler evenings, which
is so pleasant. It's really lovely. And the days are sunny,
as always, so. Yeah. Lovely.
S2 (03:25):
Um, my memories of Brisbane are actually being rather cold,
I've got to admit. Um, Brisbane. Brisbane is one of
those places where it's all designed for warm weather.
S6 (03:36):
So.
S2 (03:36):
It doesn't take much for it to feel cold. And
especially from someone from Darwin like me. Everything's cold, face it.
So even even Brisbane in summer can get cold. But anyway, uh, um, well,
let's just start with a statement that. Well, my mother
said once about Mother's Day because she doesn't like celebrating it.
(03:57):
Because every day should be Mother's Day.
S6 (03:59):
I love that. I think she's she's she's onto something there.
I'd love it if my my kids treated me like
that every day. It'd be awesome.
S2 (04:07):
What is maybe your best Mother's Day experience? And maybe
we can then talk about your worst Mother's Day experience.
S6 (04:14):
Oh, that's a really good question. So I guess on reflection,
I think my best one was the when the kids
were in primary school, they do all their crafts and
things like that, and they were also doing, um, scouts
after school. And so there was all these little gifts
and trinkets and handmade things that they'd made soaps and, uh,
(04:34):
there was a washcloth in the shape of a teddy bear.
Like all that kind of stuff. So that was really lovely. And,
you know, coffee in the morning. So that was nice and.
S2 (04:44):
All right, maybe not the worst experience, but maybe the
most dodgy, because I think the dodgy experiences are the
fun experiences.
S6 (04:50):
Uh, I think it's probably going to be this year
because I've already I'd something I want to buy myself
and the kids are like, okay, well, you can just
do that because they're teenagers now and they're only going
to spend my money anyway. So I think possibly this year.
But I might be surprised. You never know.
S2 (05:05):
Well, I suppose get back to us, let us know.
S6 (05:07):
Um.
S2 (05:08):
All right. Let's talk about you. So you, as we
established last year, you are a quality living coordinator. Now,
what does that involve?
S6 (05:18):
Ah, it is an awesome role I get to, you know,
see people along their vision loss journey. So some of
our clients are new to vision loss. So we support
them through that journey, kind of show them what services
and things are available to them when they're ready, you know, O&M,
all that kind of stuff. And some of our clients
are kind of, uh, you know, long term vision loss.
(05:40):
And so they can connect with the community of people
that they might not have connected with before. So it's
coming together discussing challenges and strategies around vision losses as
a group.
S2 (05:48):
So it's mainly just, um, group therapy, as it were.
Do you deal with anybody 1 to 1 on one
on one if you need to.
S6 (05:54):
That's kind of a little bit outside of our scope.
We do have one on one conversations to, you know,
establish goals, kind of see where people are at, what
they're wanting to talk about. And we do refer out.
So for our over 65, we have the check in
and chat. And then for people under 65 we can
refer to, you know, counselors, psychologists. There is a peer
support program for one on one as well.
S2 (06:13):
Um, one of the other things you do what the
tele link programs, I believe are.
S6 (06:17):
Yes. So I was a volunteer with that team doing
a dating. So people interested, people with vision impairment trying
to get back into the dating scene or into the
dating scene. Um, but I'm not sure if they've got
a new facilitator for that one yet.
S2 (06:31):
Uh, what what particular issues? I mean, so is it
mainly vision loss or um, do we, you know, are
we talking about other issues that might be facing someone
like myself, for example, who is, um, you know, trying
to get work or something like that?
S6 (06:43):
Yeah. We do. I've just wrapped up an evening group
for working clients. Uh, so they obviously are working during
the day, so that's not an appropriate time for them.
So we do it in the evening. It goes for
1.5 hours and we talk about similar kind of topics,
but as it relates to employment. So they may then
we could talk about kind of feelings around that the
(07:05):
the emotional adjustment and supports. But it's kind of from
a as well as maintaining work perspective as well.
S2 (07:12):
It can be quite a shock, especially if you've not
held down a job before to actually learn what it's
like to actually, you know, the work culture. It is
quite different to the normal world, isn't it?
S6 (07:24):
It is is a lot of learning. I know at
our Vision Australia here, it's kind of a supportive environment,
so I can imagine it'll be ten times harder if
you're in a competitive environment.
S2 (07:33):
Indeed. I mean, even things like, I mean, how how
you use your work email and, uh, inappropriate conduct for people.
So if someone annoys you, you don't just zip off
an angry email to them. You might want to actually, um,
which I've seen happen. Um, so, uh, yeah. I mean,
is there anything that's that's actually without violating any confidentiality,
(07:55):
is there anything that sort of surprised you, uh, when
dealing with these group sessions?
S6 (07:59):
Interesting. Yeah. I think some of the things people would
like to talk about is kind of what you were saying.
There is like how to relate to other people in
the workplace. So disclosure like, who do I tell? Like
because they're kind of on that, uh, half and half,
like they're just starting to lose their vision. So how
much support do I get? Am I going to be
taken advantage of if a colleague knows that I have
(08:22):
a vision impairment? Um, is my manager going to allow
me time to adjust or, um, do the training that's
involved in, you know, using a computer and give me
that time to be able to do my role, um,
in this new way.
S2 (08:35):
Wow. And just like that, we've got sidetracked. Anyway.
S4 (08:40):
That's a whole nother topic.
S7 (08:42):
It is a whole nother topic.
S2 (08:43):
We should. We should get you back to, uh, talk
about some of that when we go back to the
world of employment. I think that would be absolutely fascinating.
But I mean, so we're back to the topic of
the day, um, parenthood, as it were. And you've kind
of experienced parenthood as both a single and a non
single parent. Maybe we can sort of look into that
(09:05):
a little bit. I mean, how is it different dealing
with things on your own as opposed to as, as,
as being part of a couple.
S6 (09:11):
Yeah. So I would say there is good and bad
to both. Um, so initially, uh, my partner and I,
when we had the kids, I could rely on him, um,
I could kind of defer to him. But as the
relationship went along, he kind of like, he like one
of the jobs he, uh, sought out was to drive buses,
(09:33):
kind of for schoolkids. And so when I needed him,
you know, to take the kids to school and to
pick the kids up from school, he was working. So
then that fell to me. So, you know, you can
rely on your partner a little bit. Um, but then
as a single person, it all comes to you. So
I get to make all the decisions and I get
to kind of so there's yeah, good and bad to both.
S2 (09:52):
As a child of a single parent family, um, myself, um,
one of the things is that you build up a
very different relationship when it's.
S6 (10:00):
Just.
S2 (10:01):
You and the kids. That's at least from my point
of view. Have you noticed that.
S6 (10:05):
I have, um, so I do tend to the kids
do have to do a little bit more in the home. Um, their,
the expectations of them are a bit higher. Um, when
you're a single parent, I think that's for most single
parent families where the labor gets dispersed differently. So, uh,
it can teach them, uh, can teach them to be
(10:27):
a little bit, uh, more grown up. But in some ways,
they're still kids, and they still want to want mom
to do everything.
S2 (10:33):
And where does that your disability come into that? I mean,
you mentioned off air that there are two sides to that.
And of course, you've got two, um, teenage kids now.
So their their views of the world are changing as well.
How does that relate to you as a visually impaired person?
S6 (10:48):
Yes, it's I think it's always a negotiation, um, with
the kids, because at the end of the day, they
just want a parent. Um, and so it's tricky for
to know when, when to ask them for help and
when to, like, let them be kids. So, um, sometimes,
you know, I'll need a menu read or we'll be out. Um,
(11:11):
and so it is good to have your own backup
and technology and your own skills in place so that if,
you know, my daughter has, uh, ADHD and my son
has autism. And so they all have their own special
needs as well. And so it's about negotiating who needs
what when kind of thing.
S2 (11:29):
Well, and also they're coming up to that magical time.
And that is driver's license I mean that must be fantastic.
It might all of a sudden hopefully you're going to
have somebody who can drive you around, at least for
a couple of years.
S6 (11:40):
Yes. That is my hope. Uh, and we're having that
conversation now. So my daughter's of the age where she
can start, uh, doing her learner's and stuff like that.
So she's got the she's passed the test, which is good. Um,
we need to get her some hours. So we're going
to look at, uh, either reaching out to family support
because obviously you can't do that myself. Uh, I believe
(12:01):
Pcyc do like, um, retirees help out and do some
volunteer work and help low income families with driving and
things like that. So we're going to look at options
for that for her. Um, and then we are discussing
where that boundary is about, okay, if I purchase a car,
how much time would you feel comfortable supporting me and
(12:21):
how much can you use it for you? So there's
a negotiation there.
S2 (12:24):
I've got to admit. And some, um, our friends have
got kids now with driver's license. And I was like,
can't you lend them to us to drive us around
as well?
S6 (12:33):
Yes, that would be awesome. Although, um, my daughter, because
I've said to her, you know, like you've got the
experience to make a great support worker. She was quite
adamant about having a career in film and television, so
she's not inclined that way.
S7 (12:46):
How do they both go as far as.
S2 (12:48):
Um, their empathy towards, um, people with disability go? And
is that do you think that the having lived with
you for a long period of time, whether they just
take it all for granted or or or is it
do they respond differently to disability, you think, than other people?
S6 (13:05):
I think that is an awesome question. And again, I'd
have to say there's light and dark. So in some ways,
like when I remember when she was ten and we
were walking through the shopping centre and she was had
one one hand on the trolley and it was like
going all up and down the aisle. And I'm like,
what are you doing? Like you're all over the place.
And she said, oh, I saw a man with one arm.
And I wanted to know what it must be like
(13:26):
for him. And so I think she kind of has
a natural empathy. Um, you know, when she was three
and I was kind of in the kitchen doing things,
and I just stopped and paused and I was listening
because I'm like, what is going on? She's like, oh, mum,
there's a workman on the roof next door. And so
she knew what I was listening like. She knew that
there was a sound. I was trying to work it
out and she gave me the answer I was looking
(13:48):
for without a conversation. So in some ways, it's really,
really good. They kind of demystify disability for them so
they understand people with disabilities are just people living their lives.
They've seen it every day. Um, so they're not kind
of scared or intimidated or awkward because they kind of
know in other ways they can take advantage because they're
still kids and they're pushing boundaries. So when she was again,
(14:12):
around that kind of ten age, you know, coming home
from school and I was at this back gate waiting
for them, they all looked the same in their uniforms.
She altered her hairstyle to look different because she knew
and so she could, like, run in front of me
and then go play with her friends because she didn't
want to go home straight away. So yeah, they can
take advantage of it, but they can also be, uh, empathetic,
(14:34):
empathetic towards it as well.
S2 (14:35):
No one's tried to, I don't know, sneak something into
the shopping trolley without you noticing or.
S6 (14:40):
All the time.
S2 (14:41):
Aha.
S6 (14:42):
Yeah, but it's good now because they take care of
the online orders. So I get to check.
S2 (14:47):
One of the concerns that, I mean, if someone is
in a situation where they're in a marriage that is
not working or something like that is that they might,
might not be able to cope as a single person
with the kids, but also separating personal life from family life,
as it were. How did you go with that?
S6 (15:10):
It okay? To be honest, it's not easy. It's really hard,
especially initially. But I would say the relationship breakdown was
a natural consequence of my confidence increasing. Okay, so I
was probably in a better place to separate. And that
(15:30):
kind of spiraled. So the more confidence I got, the
more I wanted to do things for myself and the
more things I did for myself, the more confidence grew. Um,
so it's about kind of skill development, I guess, and
just having the trusting yourself that you you can do this.
S2 (15:44):
And I'm going to put something else to you here.
A friend of mine used to sort of define herself by, um,
whether she was with somebody else or not and how
successful that relationship was. How do you now, uh, approach
that as, um, well, as someone out there in the
world with a with a disability.
S6 (16:05):
Oh, I don't have time like that, to be fair.
I just I don't have time to consider, like, I've
got the kids. I've got myself. I'm working. Um, there's
a little bit of studying there, too. Um, running a household, like. Yeah,
I don't know where. I mean, I would like to date, um.
And I'm happy to do that, but it'd have to
be with someone who will fit into our lifestyle. I
(16:28):
don't yeah.
S2 (16:29):
So if there's somebody out there and, uh, they're willing
to to do a lot of hard work themselves. Then
maybe you'd consider it.
S6 (16:35):
Yeah, yeah, they'd have to bring something to the table
just as I have, so.
S2 (16:40):
Thank you. Sarah. Um. It's been it's been great having
a chat and, uh, happy Mother's day. I hope that
special present that you've been semi promised materializes.
S6 (16:51):
That's all good. And if there's anyone out there who'd
like to join our quality living groups for parents, we
have those available too. So, uh, give us a shout
out at Vision Australia, and we can pop you into
one of those groups.
S2 (17:01):
And we'll include the links on our podcast notes. Thanks again. Sarah.
S6 (17:05):
Thanks, Sam.
S3 (17:11):
So what is your plan for Mother's Day today?
S8 (17:13):
Um, just catching up with the grandparents, um, with my
son there as well. And just have a little Mother's
Day with my grandmother. So there's usual Sunday thing to do, but, um,
probably have some Mother's Day cake or something. Another excuse
for my grandfather to buy cake. And do you have Leo's.
S3 (17:32):
Bought you any presents?
S8 (17:34):
I know he's got me a couple. Oh, but you.
S3 (17:36):
Don't know.
S8 (17:37):
Where they are. Or do you? I do know what
they are. Because everybody kept asking me, like, what do
you want for Mother's Day? And I'm like, oh, well,
that's easy. You're gonna know what you're gonna get. So
what are you getting? Um, so I'm gonna get flowers
and chocolates and a bluey onesie pajama thing. Oh, well,
at least.
S3 (17:56):
You'll be cozy.
S8 (17:57):
In winter. After last summer? Yeah. So how old is
Leo now? He is seven and a half years old.
S3 (18:05):
Seven and a half. Now, being a mom is hard
enough as it is, I should imagine.
S8 (18:11):
Yes, definitely. I imagine that.
S3 (18:12):
Being a mom with vision impairment can.
S8 (18:14):
Be.
S3 (18:14):
Harder. So when you told people that you were pregnant,
what were their reactions, especially given your vision impairment?
S8 (18:22):
Well, um, a lot of people were like, but you're
vision impaired. And I'm like, yeah. And Like my eyes
don't affect my fertility. It's history. Uh, my vision doesn't
affect my. Want to become a parent. Yeah. Um. And. Yeah,
I mean, my grandfather was rather excited because Leo is
(18:43):
the first great grandchild. And, yeah, on the day I
found out I was pregnant with Leo, I told grandpa
the next day because he'd actually had the stroke on
the day I found out I was pregnant. Yeah. So
I wasn't going to tell anybody so soon, but I
had to tell him to give him something to look
forward to. Other people's reactions were, you know, you get
some people, you know, they're really happy for you, particularly
if they've known you long enough to know that the
(19:05):
vision impairment is really not going to be the problem
with becoming a mother. Yeah. And, um, others were, you know, questioning, well,
how are you going to do this if you can't
see and all that? And I'm like, well, I'll find
out a way.
S3 (19:16):
What about like, people in the medical profession? Because like,
obviously you have to go to the same appointments and
things like that. Were they open.
S8 (19:22):
Minded. So the medical profession actually was a lot better
than I was expecting. I mean, I knew my doctor
would be good. Um, so when I went to see
her and tell her that I was pregnant and all that,
she was fantastic. She sent me on to doing all things, um,
because I had a missed miscarriage beforehand. You know, we
did early ultrasounds and stuff like that. Yep. And, yeah,
I can't really see anything on the ultrasound. So I
(19:44):
was lucky with some of the technicians were good at
describing stuff for me and all that. Yeah. Um, the hospital,
I already had a long hospital record with the Women's
and Children's Hospital because of my vision impairment when I
was younger. So they pulled out my final vision impaired
before I even got to the to the appointment. They
already knew it all, and they were quite good when
(20:06):
I was in, when I was in giving birth and
just after and all that, they allowed my partner to
stay afterwards. Uh, more than what they allow other, uh,
parents to, to assist with vision issues and all that.
And yeah, I had a really good experience from the
medical professionals, but I know that's not always everybody's experience
(20:27):
as well.
S3 (20:27):
Yeah. And your son has a few different issues.
S8 (20:32):
Yes. My son has been diagnosed with autism. Yeah, he
has global developmental delay. He did inherit my vision impairment.
And he's got astigmatism on top of it. And in
the early years, he was having a lot of seizures. Fortunately,
he's grown out of them.
S3 (20:48):
So there.
S8 (20:49):
Would be a lot.
S3 (20:49):
Of appointments to go to. Like, I take him to
hydrotherapy and physiotherapy and speech therapy.
S8 (20:56):
And the appointments early on were ridiculous because obviously we
had a lot of diagnosis appointments and vision appointments and
stuff with the Women's and Children's Hospital. Yeah, I was
in the hospital at one point, like six out of
the seven days. Mind you, some of that was when
Leo had had an accident and bit through his lip. Ooh. Um.
And he had to have surgery to fix that one up. But, yeah, we, uh,
(21:20):
early days were a lot of the, uh, paediatrician. The vision,
the developmental delay teams. And then eventually we went through
the child development team to having diagnosed with autism. And
once all that was done, yeah, we had speech therapy, physiotherapy,
occupational therapy. He started hydrotherapy a couple of years ago.
(21:40):
Now that he's at school, the physio and speech go
to the school. So that's two less appointments we actually
have to worry about.
S3 (21:46):
Oh that's.
S8 (21:47):
Great. But um, yeah, I take, I have to take
Leo to his occupational therapy and his dad takes him
to the swimming, so he split that nicely.
S3 (21:54):
And what about when it came to putting him through school? Like,
did the school have any hesitations about taking on a
child with vision impairment? Or the fact that you were
a mother with a vision impairment?
S8 (22:04):
So they obviously sat down and discussed it all with me. Obviously,
particularly in regards to accessibility for forms and stuff like that,
because obviously I still had to sign all the same
forms every other parent does. And um, they were good
because they'd sit down and read the forms out to me.
The school that my son goes to is to just
a kilometer away from where I am, so it's easy
(22:24):
to walk to us. And he is in a special
options class. And they have involved other schools like Sassy
and Kilkerran, and also guide dogs into his supports in
the school. And they're really good at supporting him. And yeah,
whenever forms come out and all that, if I need help,
they'll read it out to me. They'll tell me where
(22:45):
I need to sign. The school has been very supportive
and it's actually expanding its, um, special needs options and
all that within the school as well to accommodate more students.
So let's.
S3 (22:55):
Go backwards a little.
S8 (22:55):
Bit.
S3 (22:56):
To when he was a new bub. What about feeding
and clothing him and stuff like that? Did you have
any challenges?
S8 (23:03):
So initially I did want to actually breastfeed. I had
no problems with milk supply, a big milk supply, but
that's when I realized everything that all the other mothers
could see. I couldn't, but the nurse would just say, oh,
I see he's in this position. I'm like, nope, can't
see it. And I mean, I keep forgetting how vision
impaired I actually am because when I'm in a familiar area,
I've got a lot of visual memory, so I may
(23:26):
not see something, but my brain will fill in the
gap because it knows what's supposed to be there. It's
when I'm trying to see something that's brand new. The
brain just goes, I can't fill in the gap. You're
going to have to help me here. Um, and so
things like feeding, changing nappies and all that was very
much a quick learn. And it's also where I started
to learn how much more I actually rely on my
sense of touch. And I'm actually cognitively realised. Yeah. Because
(23:49):
I also developed carpal tunnel in both hands from the pregnancy.
And it's not unusual to end up with carpal tunnel
from pregnancy, but it usually goes away after pregnancy. Yeah,
unfortunately my body didn't get the memo for that and
I was I was completely numb on the fingers. Now
you try and change a nappy when you can't feel
that you're touching the nappy straps and stuff like that.
And it became quite a problem. And that's when I realised,
(24:11):
oh my God, I'm so reliant on my sense of touch.
So I've had to have Operation Both Hands to correct that.
Thankfully it worked. And then as Leo started getting older,
I started realizing, you know, when he's moving around and
all that again, not realizing that I actually have such
a restricted field of vision as only because he wasn't
in my field of vision. Then I realized, hang on,
(24:31):
I can't see. Yeah. And, um, so I had to
be a lot more diligent looking around for him. His
first time he disappeared in the shop. He was only
just just barely crawling. And I put him down on
the floor to do something with the pram because I
wasn't working. And I look around and where is he?
I'm like, oh, God, he's gone on a blind spot again.
I'm looking around. No, he'd actually ducked underneath the clothes rack.
(24:53):
Oh no. As we have his little heart attack trying
to find him. Unfortunately, he made a noise. I was
able to track him down and he's a little older.
He's probably toddler age. He, um, started figuring out that
I can't see in the dark. And so he'd hide
in the darkest part of the room at night time,
and I'd go in. I could go in to check
on him, and he sort of figured out. But luckily
(25:13):
for me, he can't keep quiet. She said he started giggling.
I turned around, looked at him like in the dark.
I knew he was right there. And he goes, uh
oh yeah, get back in that bed. And even though
I was with him being seven, he's figured out I'm
very good at listening. So he tries, he'll come into
(25:34):
my room, he'll close the door, and I go, what
are you up to, Leo? He's like, I'm gonna do it.
And I'm like, you know, you're not supposed to do that. Yeah,
so I just want to try and close the door.
S3 (25:45):
So despite, you know, his various, like, disabilities and other issues,
he is still, as you know, messy and mischievous and
cheeky as other kids.
S8 (25:56):
Yes.
S3 (25:57):
So how do you deal with, like, when he makes
a mess in the kitchen or when he tries to
pour himself a bowl of cereal and the milk runs.
S8 (26:04):
Over and oh my God, how many times has he
done that? So some of the things that I'm starting
to do with him is if it's bigger packaging, he's
not allowed to do it himself. But I am starting
to like figure out which sort of one would say
which cereals he likes most in the morning, and if
he wants to do himself in the morning, I will
scoop up the cereal into little containers and so that
he can tip the container in there. And also because
(26:25):
I buy the milk in the three litre bottles. Yeah,
I've got a little 500ml little container. It looks like
a clear milk, like, you know, those, um, carton of milks. Yeah.
But it's just clear plastic so you can actually see
the milk in it. And I pour some of the
milk into that so that he still maintains his independence
and all that. But then I don't have to worry
about trying to find a big mess. So not to
say that I don't find big messes when he doesn't
(26:46):
do what he's supposed to do, and it's usually I've
stepped in it or, um, you know, put something in it.
The countertops I have are dark, so when milk spills
on it, it's easy to see. But if it's on
the ground because my grounds are light color, I can't
see it. So I have to tell I'm trying to
get him at the moment to remember to. If he
makes a mess, he needs to tell me so it
can be cleaned up.
S3 (27:06):
Now you said the school is walking distance. Do you
have any help getting to and from school again?
S8 (27:10):
So at the moment I do have help with a
support worker who has quickly become my friend as well. Yeah. And, um,
most of that is just for supervision because Leo likes
to sort of walk on his own and he doesn't
always walk in front of me. He likes to walk
behind me. And I also use a guide dog. Um, so,
you know, trying to keep an eye on the dog
and the kid at the same time, particularly on a
(27:31):
Tuesday where it's been night and most of the path
is blocked off by bins. Yeah, it's nice to have
that extra set of eyes on him.
S3 (27:39):
Absolutely.
S8 (27:39):
Yeah. The afternoon? Not so much. But by the time
the afternoon goes sort of wound down, a little bit
of the energy and he's happy to tell me about
his day and all that.
S3 (27:48):
Yeah. And you said the other day that when you've
been sick, he's quite helpful.
S8 (27:52):
I've been sick and he's actually come in and he's actually, um,
maybe breakfast in bed. Mhm. He comes in. Mummy, do
you need a drink. And you know he'll bring in
the Pepsi Max or whatever else. Like I usually do
a Pepsi Max because it's a closed can. He's not
going to spill it. Yeah. He'll feed the the guide
dog for me. Oh wow. Oh, and like, he and
(28:14):
I usually if he does those days, I give him
a little extra pocket money because he's gone above and
beyond for helping mommy. But yeah, he's he's a real
little champ and helping mommy out. What?
S3 (28:23):
Breakfast in bed? Yeah.
S8 (28:24):
Usually he brings me in nutrigrain. Sometimes with milk, sometimes
without milk. I honestly, I like it without the milk
when he brings it in. Because I don't want an
accidental milk spill in the bed. Because, yeah, when you're sick,
you don't want to have to clean up the bed.
S3 (28:37):
No. That's lovely. And what I mean, has he made
you breakfast in bed before for Mother's Day, or has
he attempted to?
S8 (28:45):
Attempted to?
S3 (28:46):
Yes. What? What has he made you? What's the worst
Mother's Day breakfast you've had?
S8 (28:50):
Fortunately, he had supervision, so it hasn't really been that bad.
But he did do something like toast with jam on
it and stuff like that. But he hasn't tried any, uh,
cooking or anything because I'm not real big eater of
breakfast anyway. So toast. Toast with jam or cereal is
usually my go to breakfasts Anyway. Yeah. So at least
(29:10):
then that limits the destruction. Well, not just the destruction,
but the getting something you're not quite wanting and still
have to pretend it's. Oh it's lovely to you. Mhm.
S3 (29:23):
So does he always make you feel special on Mother's
Day though.
S8 (29:26):
He makes me feel special every day. His favorite saying
is mummy I love you. And he goes mummy I
love you even when you're yelling at me.
S9 (29:34):
Oh that's lovely.
S8 (29:36):
And I think it comes from because when, when I
get upset with him I'll tell him off and all that.
But I say but mummy still loves you. So he's
doing that now. I'd still love you even when you're
yelling at me. But yeah, he. Last Mother's Day, he
just kept going. Happy Mother's Day all day. And I
think that's the autism that it's really sweet.
S9 (29:55):
It is. Oh that's lovely.
S8 (29:56):
But the sweetest thing he's ever said to me. I
was having a bit of a down day. Found out
something I didn't want to know. And, um, he had
no idea. I found it out. He just came up
to me, climbs onto my lap, and he goes, mommy,
you're my hero.
S3 (30:09):
Oh.
S8 (30:10):
I burst into tears just over that. No, kiddo, you're
my hero.
S3 (30:14):
He's so sweet. He's such a sweet kid.
S8 (30:17):
He is, he is. He gets it off with his mom.
S3 (30:19):
We'll have to get him once you go on one day.
S8 (30:21):
Oh, I'm sure he'd love to talk. You might not
be able to shut him up.
S3 (30:26):
That's okay. Well, thanks for chatting with us, Lisa. I
hope you enjoy the rest of your Mother's Day.
S8 (30:30):
No worries.
S3 (30:31):
Thank you. And, uh, eat all the chocolates before he
gets to him.
S8 (30:34):
He's got his own chocolates.
S3 (30:36):
Oh, no. But if he's anything like Jesse, he'll give
you chocolates and then ask you two hours later if
he can have one of your chocolates.
S8 (30:42):
Oh. So that was a long gap. Usually it's like,
two minutes later.
S3 (30:45):
Your mom. I got you chocolate, but can I have
three chocolate?
S8 (30:48):
Pretty much.
S3 (30:48):
Yep. Ah. All right. We'll go and enjoy the rest
of your Mother's Day.
S8 (30:52):
Thank you.
S5 (30:53):
Well, that's a wrap for this week. A big thank
you to Lisa and Sarah.
S3 (30:57):
And of course, thank you for listening. And that includes
our listeners on the Reading Radio Network. As usual, you
can find this program along with some extra content on Apple, Spotify,
Google or your favorite podcast platform.
S2 (31:10):
Next week for Volunteer Week, we ask what are the
benefits of volunteering?
S3 (31:15):
We hear from a couple of friends who give up
their time to make radio shows. Kind of like this one.
S2 (31:21):
But between now and then, please do get in touch
with the show. Whether you have experience of any of
the issues covered on this week's episode of Studio One,
or if you think there is something we should be
talking about. You never know. Your story and insight may
help somebody else who is dealing with something similar.
S3 (31:35):
You can reach out via email at Studio One at
Vision Australia. Org. That's studio number one at Vision Australia.
Org or of course you can find us on all
the good social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram by
searching for VA Radio Network. We want to hear from you.
S2 (31:53):
This program was made possible with support from the Community
Broadcasting Foundation. Find out more by going to cbsnews. Bye
for now.
S3 (32:02):
Hi.
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