Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appogiae production. Hi, my name's Beck Woodbine and welcome to
Tenderness for Nurses.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm grateful for the person that I have the opportunity
to be, so I hid it and parked it for
Nellie four years. We always have free will, We always
get to choose. We are autonomous.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Hi everyone, thank you for tuning back in to Tenderness
for Nurses today. I have the amazing Kathy with me,
who I have met was the end of last year,
September September last year, as she has moved into the
same precinct I leave in and we just hit it
off straight away. Actually, if I'm really honest, I saw
(00:50):
one of her support people, was it your sister.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
My sister Susie Susie that was.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Trying to make a walk, and I was like, give
her a hand, and I raced up being you know,
nessy Beck. She felt so bad, but I was like,
do you need a hand? And we've got chatting and
we chat constantly, yes, ever since. But I'm going to
read you. I asked Kat to send me through a
little bio today and honestly, I had a really good
laugh when I was reading this. Kathy Peel has never
(01:20):
quite grown up. After a lesson in stellar academic career
as a border at one of Brisbane's girls' schools, she
floated around for a few years doing a variety of jobs, badly,
notably working for her father, who was a dentist. He
fired her, which was fair because she kept closing her
eyes and wincing whenever he used a drill, resulting in
(01:40):
patients having their tongue sucked into the whimsically named saliva rejector.
Kathy has an arts degree and holds a post grad
qualification in English literature and public administration, so nothing practical,
which could be her life subtitle. She has been a
tafe teacher, worked in QPS Queens and Police Service, disastered
a response in the Department of Emergency Service as a
(02:03):
protocol officer for the two thousand e Comgames, and is
now professionally delightful and very occasionally quite clever as a
manager in the public service. And this is the bit
I love before getting asked cancer in twenty twenty. Kathy
was an active member of the Brisbane cycling community, including
the women's only Facebook group Brisbane Chicks who Ride Bikes
(02:26):
with four and a half thousand members. Kathy used to
take absolute beginners out on rides with some of the
other more experienced riders to show them safe and flatways
to get around Brisbane using bike paths and quiet backstreets.
Kathy also used to provide highly unprofessional social media coverage
with her good friend Jordana at the Women's tour down
Under an Adelaide. Juldana and Kathy once got so drunk
(02:48):
at a cellar door tasting they missed the end of
the race. After escaping hospital after four hundred and forty
seven days, Kathy was in the private system for around
six months and then moved to the public sector to
under take rehab. She is now struggling to figure out
her new normal post cancer treatment as immutenist and resentful
(03:09):
member of the Chair and Wheels Society. Chair with Wheel Society,
Kathy's written a blog about her experience on the public Facebook,
an unsatisfactory turn of events. She is also a pet
guardian for a resentful and ungrateful rescue cat called Bumble,
who I have to say I love, but her true
calling is to befriend my glorious dog Lola.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yes I far. That is possibly the least successful campaign
of twenty twenty four, so ask cancer. Ask cancer. That's
a very technical term. I'm glad you talked about it.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Okay, So how did you know to go and see someone?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Well in surprising news because you've got a photo up
and stuff. People will be astounded to learn that I'm
over fifty. I look like I'm thirty. So I got
that postal thing and they said, please do a pool
and send.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
It off to us.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
So I did all of the stuff, and I got
all of these phone calls and you must go and
see a immediately. So I went and had a colonoscope
on Monday, and I woke up in the afternoon and
they said, you have cancer. We've got you seeing a
surgeon on Wednesday, and you'll probably be operated on Friday.
(04:23):
My dad was a surgeon, my mum. I come from
a very medical family, so I knew that if I'm
seeing someone this quickly, something is wrong. So I had
no symptoms, I had no issues whatsoever. So off I went.
I met this quite pleasant surgeon on the Wednesday, who said,
I'm not operating you on the Friday because it's I
(04:44):
think it's stage four and you're going to die. You
need to have your affairs in order, and they actually
say you need to have your affairs in order. And
I had this incredible hot flush go from the left
hand side of me to the right hand side of me,
which was obviously adrenaline or something, and I was yeah,
(05:05):
and suddenly I had cancer. So then he took it
to his multidisciplinary team and they did rady. I had
to do radiography or radiation treatment at the PA. I
was a private patient in the public system at the PA,
and I did cancer treatment privately with chemotherapy, and my
(05:29):
sister and I didn't go to the chemotherapy orientation day,
so they kept saying this is going to happen and
you're going to feel this way, and we're thinking, this
is awful. So I had radiation and chemotherapy and then
I had an operation done. They put a temporary iliostomy
in and everything was fine. About twelve months later, I
(05:56):
got very sick. I had chemotherapy and radiation sickness. I
was going blind. I was supposed to do twelve rounds
of chemotherapy. They had to reduce it to six because
I nearly did, which was a bit dramatic. So then
I was feeling fine. I went back to. I went
back in to see my doctor again about ten months
later after I'd had this operation and the recovery and stuff,
(06:18):
and I had a recurrence and then things got really serious,
so I had to have what's called a total pelvic exoneration,
so basically every organ from my belly button down was removed,
and they said, best case scenario is you'll have a limp.
Worst case scenario you'll be in a wheelchair, And sadly,
I'm worst case scenario.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So, yeah, so I had cancer spread. When you say
you had everything removed, we're talking uterus, ovaries, everything.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, labia, everything glitter as everything went bladder.
So I'm now the proud owner of a double ostome
bag kit, which is really confronting. They removed part of
my tailbone as well, cut my satica nerve and stuff
like that, because the recurrence was right at the back
(07:06):
of my pelvis, so they went from the front inn
and just took everything out. By the time they went
in to take the stuff out, the cancer had moved
to my ovaries and had gone into different parts of
my bow as well.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
So you had no signs or symptoms, and if it
hadn't a been for you doing the Pooh test.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I'd be dead, is that right? Yeah? Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
I was totally asymptomatic. And is that common with that
form of cos I don't believe.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
So I think that the problem was I actually, before
all of this happened, I was really very fit and
I was an indurance athlete and stuff like that, so
I used I was used to having a lot of
aches and pains in my body. I was used to
getting dehydrated because I'd be out in mountain bikes all
day and come home and feel a bit rat. But
I had no symptoms like I had no Yeah, I
(07:53):
just I was just living my life.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Wow did they offer I mean, that's all except for
confronting and I know you're really close with your friends
and your family. Yep. Was counseling and that sort of thing. Yeah,
and they keep offering it to me and you didn't take.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Absolutely not. I don't want to be part of the
cancer club. I found that it was very when I
because I've done radiation twice now and chemotherapy twice, and
both times were pretty bad. And the more I went
in for chemotherapy, the more muteness I became. So I
had like these T shirts it said sorry, I'm late.
(08:30):
I didn't want to come, and people would laugh thinking
I was joking, but I meant it with every fiver
of my being. And I had a big headband that
was a sleep mask that my nephew brought for me,
and it said emotionally emotionally exhausted. Because I didn't want
to talk to anybody. I didn't want to go into
these radiation and hear from Clive from Gatton about what
(08:50):
he was doing, and Sarah from Crow's Nest about what
was happening with her. I didn't want to be part
of the cancer club. I just want to I just
want my life back. So but I was also very lucky.
I've had a very very good mental health professional walking
with me the whole way, who was already looking, who
was already part of my medical team before all of
(09:13):
this happened. So I've leant very heavily on him. I
was talking to one of the junior consultants and I
said something like blah blah blah, and I went to
sleep and I woke up and I was mutilated. He
was extremely anxious that I was discussing my condition, that
I was mutilated. But to be honest with you, I was.
I went to sleep and I was fine. I could walk,
(09:34):
I could do everything. And I woke up I couldn't
walk anymore and I had huge, great, big open scars
all down my front, all down my back. I was
in a kman for eight weeks after my second big operation.
So I went to sleep I think in June, and
I woke up and sort of the Tour de France
was sort of on. Wow, Yeah it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
At least you woke up to that.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Well it was, it was good, But the problem was
I actually didn't know where I was, so I had mania.
When you is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, I was in I was in the hospital. I
was in intensive care for so long and on so
many world drugs. I wake up and I had mania happening.
And when I was in the private system, I had
five consultants. It would come and see me every day,
and that was really kind, super beautiful dressed wearing suits
and ties and everything, and they were so kind to me.
(10:24):
And the guy that looked after that sort of component
was astounded because I had Usually when people have a mania,
they'll have like I had hallucinations and stuff, and the
nurses would say, oh, you know, we're going to give
you a bed bath now, and I say, do you
think we should not ask everyone else to leave? And
it was just the nurses and me. But I had
(10:44):
on my left hand side, I had a woman dressed
in regency like sort of pride and preadjuiced sort of clothes,
sitting there quietly tap a string. And I had this
cat that would jump out of the TV that would
sit on my lap. And I had all of these soldiers.
But he said, the remarkable thing was that the soldiers
weren't attacking me. They were guarding me. It's very unusual
for people who have a mania to have people who
(11:07):
are guarding them. And I said to my sister.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
They were angels.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Well, I said to my sister later, I said, just
freak sitting in the chair next to me, And she
said that's where we used to sit. Because I've an
English lit degree and Jane Austen is my favorite author.
When I was in intensive care and was really fretful
and I couldn't couldn't calm me down, my friends and
family would read Jane Austen and they all said, on
(11:31):
my left and I had one particular girlfriend who I'm
really good friends with, and she flew up from Melbourne
in the morning, walked straight into intensive care where you know,
I sat down read Jane Austin to me all day
and went home.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
See that that speaks volumes to me about the type
of person you are. I just I'm just so lucky,
so glad to have the friends and family that I have,
and they've stuck around.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I mean, I've been sick for years now. I mean
I was in hospital for a year and a half
and they all still like me. Because it's true, you
get super invested in yourself and kind of you know,
blah blah, and that was so I had to work
hard on to not become self absorbed exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
You're insightful of that and you're aware of it. And
I do think it's easy to become self absorbed when
you're in pain, when everything is about to you, when
you're in that hospital bed, and rightly so, you're souper sick.
But it's quite interesting that you were aware enough to go, Okay,
(12:32):
I need to not make it all about me, and
you like that at home, like when we would get
run into each other. You're quite happy to chat about
everything else and everyone else, and we turn the subject
to you and you'll talk a little bit, and then
you always seguay out.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Because it's not You've got no good news. That's the
problem is you don't want to be Nancy no good
news all the time. I don't know who Nancy is,
but I think it's and I think a lot of it, too,
is because I was in a relationship for twenty years
and at breakdown before I got sick, And to be
honest with you, I'm kind of glad I was by
myself and I didn't have a partner when I was
(13:09):
well since I've been sick, because I've only had to
look after myself and you can, oh, she's the worst
bumbles devil, But it's that whole thing about if you've
got a partner, you also have to see how they're
going and how are they coping, and are they feeling
resentful and all of that sort of stuff. Where Also,
I had my sister who in the blog I called
the Goat. She was originally the MVP for the Most
(13:31):
Vasual Player, but she's been promoted to the Goat and
Marvelous Paul, her husband and Arnie Margaret, who's ninety three now.
She's my consult physiotherapist. She was my dad and sister
and mother Meg and the fire and I had all
these people that loved me and were around me all
the time, but they also had, like Susie had her
own family outside of that, you know, so I wasn't
(13:53):
the primary focus focus. And it also lets Susie and
Mum and everyone go home and say, God, I'm sick
of cancer. I'm sick of too. Can we not talk
about my child or my sister because I'm sick of her?
She sucks.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
You probably get sick of yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I totally do. Absolutely not that interesting.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
After all your surgeries, yes, did they have to build
up your muscle strength and then after all those long
stints in I see you and that sort of thing.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Initially, Yeah, So when I was I was in the
private sector and I had my own room and my
own nurses and everything, and the physios would come to
me for an hour a day into my room and
they brought this like it was kind of like some
sort of torture device called a tilt table, and I
had to be I think it was like a ho
a mat. It was a hover mat that hovermaped me
(14:38):
onto the thing, and then that put me onto this
tilt table and they'd sort of wench me up to
ninety degrees and I would get to thirty degrees and
start vomiting, which was really attractive because I hadn't had
my hair washed it about three weeks. Actually, pro tip,
if you've got anyone who's going into hospital for a
long time, you need to actually learn how to French braid,
and you can just French brade blade their plats. Yeah,
(15:01):
and if you haven't got a sister who can do that,
Susie learned how to do that when was in detention
at high school. But if you haven't got a sister
that can do it, you need to make friends with
girls who are harsy people because they can do the
same braids that they did on their horses, because it
just keeps it off your face and it doesn't matter
how greasy it gets. But so i'd gone too the
tilt table, so I and I used to have to
(15:24):
after a few weeks because nobody knew what was happening.
They couldn't understand why I wasn't recovering very well. And
after a few weeks I studied using this thing called
the Sarah steady, which is a torture device where you
sort of have to sort of bend ford and stand
up by yourself and push yourself up and then you'd
sit down like you're on a chariot and they move
(15:44):
you to the bathroom while they move you to the
shower and stuff like that. So it took me, I
think about six weeks to learn how to use a
Sarah steady, and that was a too assist. So by
the time I went, I could not go to rehab
while I still had a pump dressing or what are
the vacuum dressings, and they have the they've got the
huge dressings, and they have that machine that sucks all
your bits and pieces together.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I don't know anymore because it's been it was.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Kind of it was something, and I had one on
the front and one on the back, and so they
sort of were using such to suck skin together. So
I couldn't have any of those. And I need to
be on a Sarah study before I could go into rehab,
so I need to rehab. So I got there and
very unwill. When I was first emitted into the public system,
(16:30):
I got sepsis and died a couple of times, which
made everyone very nervous. So yeah, I had to learn.
So I lost I think something about thirty eight plos
and most of it was muscle mass. And because I
was a cyclist and super super fit, I used to
have these massive quads and massive, massive glutes and these
(16:50):
huge carves. I used to have to wear special boots
because my cars were so big. So yeah, I lost
a lot of weight.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Did they think you being so fit helped your recr.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
One of the actually it it was actually an impediment.
At one point, as an endurance athlete who pushed herself,
I would get to the redline and continue. So with
the physios, I'd say do it again. And I wasn't
listening to my body because it was saying it was tired,
because I was used to disregarding those messages. So and
(17:25):
I'm my own worst enemy. I'm highly competitive with myself.
So if I would do two physio sessions a day
and completely wreck myself, so I didn't, and.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
That can actually make your recovery longer. Yeah, I sucked
at recovery.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I just was not cool. And then I had a
pressure saw, so I had to lie on my side
in bed for a week, and I cried the whole
week because I wanted to be up doing physio.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
And where was the where was where was that pressure? Weed?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It was sort of you know when you've got undies
on and where the elastic goes on between your bum
and the top of your thigh. Because I had, I
have no feeling there anymore. So somebody I could go
to if I could still walk, I could walk to
Italy and people could pinch my bum and I wouldn't
even notice. So having the pressure there because I sat
(18:18):
so still, I ended up with a pressure, so it
would have been on your sacred It was not cool. Yeah,
everybody was mad, and yeah I felt like they were
mad with me, but I think the nursing stuff women
more mad with themselves.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah. Yeah, they're very They're very hard to heal once
you developed one, and then they go through the stages
pretty quickly.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, So that was that was That was a low.
There was Look, to be honest with you, there's been
four years of low points, and just when you think
it can get no lower it, somehow something happens just
to happen, which sucks.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
So what are the high. What do you think you've
got out of the last few year.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
You know, the funny thing is I was saying to Look,
I think it was the long suffering Suzanne who I
work with, or people who talk to me all the time.
I kept waiting for this bolt of wisdom.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
People say I got really sick and I realized the
importance of family, or I realized that, you know, I
needed to throw in my corporate job and go and
you know, grow apples or something. Yeah. Look, I was
either not listening when my bolt of lightning came, or
I already had life pretty much figured out before I
got sick. Like I've always appreciated my friends and family.
(19:33):
I've always worked really hard at having a work life balance.
So one of the things that I'm really pleased about
is that I was Look, I did the right thing.
I'll put extra money into my superannuation stuff. But I
traveled significantly before I got sick, so none of that
whole I'll wait until I retire and I'll take myself
off to England, or I'll wait till I retire and
I'll go to Italy and stuff like that. So when
(19:57):
I was lying in my hospital where The only real
regret how I had was that I never got to Japan.
But like I went to Sri Lanka. I've been to
England in America, and I don't know Thailand and Vietnam
and all sorts of places and the Pilbra region and everything.
So you've lived life. Well, yeah, I had to. You
only get one shot at it, and you've done great well,
(20:17):
I think so like, but I think the main if
I had to be less learn the lesson was it's
to not focus on yourself all the time because you're
not that interesting, but also to give people. People would
come in there say, oh this is happening. My husband's
drive me nuts, or you know why wife's an idiot
or whatever. You know, because people talk to you, particularly
(20:39):
if you're in a hospital bed. You've got nowhere to go,
so you can't sort of suddenly so I'll just put
a load of washing on. But people will talk to
you and then they say, oh, look I feel terrible,
but it's nowhere near as bad as you can. I say,
just because it's not as bad as me doesn't mean
that you're not feeling rubbish and doesn't mean that your
husband isn't being a jerk, and your kids aren't being difficult,
so I think one of them. And even today I
(21:01):
said to someone, look, just because I can't walk doesn't
mean that, you know, you feeling bad, isn't feeling bad.
So I think I think I did all right. But
I think that's probably because I've got pretty good values
from the family.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, when after all your recovery, I know from talking
to you that work has been a very important part
of your life.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
How was it going back to work and what steps
did you have to put into place to get back
to work? Like, I'm assuming your work was very supportive
while you were in hospital.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
My boss's boss's boss has been amazing, and my organization
has been amazing, And I think it's mainly because it's
also a huge company, so it's not like it's a
small business where you can't hold someone's position open for
four or five years. But my work has been fantastic. So,
like my boss's boss's boss dropped in to see me
at the hospital a few times. One of the things
(21:54):
that we had to do because of the social media
presence I had with Chipsy ride bikes and stuff like that,
was the first time I was sick. I was at
the mart of private and we had forty fifty bouquets
of flowers were being delivered right and I'm on special
case ione Keddymine, I'm like trying to fight people and
being hideously awful, and my sisters can be She's really nice.
(22:17):
Look at the flowers's they So we had all of
these people wanted to come and see me and flowers
and that people were so supportive, and all it did
was put me under enormous pressure to get better. So
when I had the total pelvic exit, we actually made
a decision as a family and as the inner sanctum
to not let anyone know what hospital I was in
(22:39):
at all. So so anyway, but the boss's boss boss
found out where I was. I told her where I
was staying so she would come and see me at hospital.
But I actually, when I was still an inpatient in
the public system, I actually was working the equivalent of
two days a week. So they brought in all of
these computers and all of these laptops, and I had
(22:59):
a desk and stuff like that, and the hospital, the
ward got me. I had a private room, which is
very unusual because nobody could read the stuff on my
computer because it was top secret. But they helped me
get back to work a couple of days a week.
Now it wasn't difficult work, but it was work. And
(23:19):
my income protection insurance had run out as well, so
I kind of was I thought that went on for
na Sadly, I know it for two years, so I
had a lot of time long long Servicely I had
income protection insurance for two years. You can change your
level of income protection insurance, but mine was for two years,
which was the maximum you could take at the time.
I got sick and because I had a recurrence, they
(23:42):
said it was the same illness, so I couldn't get
it again. So I was on center Link And never
again will I say anything about people who can't live
on Central Link benefits because it's nothing. So anyway, I
wasn't centralingk for a while, but I was in hospital,
so I wasn't doing anything. So then I got back
to work and then I'm now working in the office
a few days a week. I'm doing a different role
(24:03):
to my normal one, but my goal is to do
my normal job because I've got the best team in Australia.
But they've been so kind and at the moment, they're
getting four doors replaced with those push buttons because I
can't get in and out of the doors, which they
asked to be done in I think August, but they're
now only getting it now done now because builders and
(24:23):
stuff like that. But yeah, they've been so kind. And
when I went back to work, I actually haven't been
to a lot of different flows because I feel highly
conspicuous in the chair and I actually feel a bit
ashamed of myself that I'm not better because everyone was
so kind to me. I feel like I've let people
down that I'm not walking. Really, yeah, it's a big burden.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Why do you feel that? Do you think because of
your athleticism and where you've grown.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I think it's because everybody keeps saying, oh, you're so
inspirational and you know, so you're so brave and blah
blah blah. I still can't freaking walk. I feel like
I should be better. Everyone's put in so much effort.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
But what's better? You're alive? Yeah, caav I honestly, I
and I'm just saying this because we're on a podcast
and I'm blowing We're up your ass. I see you
in it. You're like a breath of fresh air. And
I actually don't see the wheelchair, and I'm sure a
lot of people don't. Yeah, but there's such a weird
(25:26):
ust thing in Australia and a lot of countries around disability,
and I hate really it's like alcoholism. I hate that
term too, and I hate talking about it, you know.
But I just see your bright, beautiful face. I don't
see the other stuff except your sister when she's bulling you, and.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
She's the worst, the devil. She's also redhead. So yeah,
I just feel like I'm getting somewhere. And then the
other day I went to that really fancy fish restaurant
down the Fosh, which is amazing and they're so lovely
and I've got the best rose in Australia, which is French.
I think we're Italian. Anyway, I went to Fosh and
I was meeting my girlfriend, one of my girlfriends for
(26:06):
lunch and it was just before Christmas. Had a frock on.
Got myself there and I came in and there were
two people at the table next to me and they
stared at me and stared at me and stared at me.
And he was eating with his mouth open, and she
was wearing terrible shoes, so they were obviously the devil.
But the guy that was opening was looked at me,
(26:27):
and I looked at him. You know, it's kind of
that I see you looking at me, And I said, yeah,
it's a pretty impressive bit of kid, isn't it, Because
I'd reversed myself in and everything. And he just kept
looking at me with his mouth open, like chewing his mouth.
And then he turns to his wife and says, I
wonder what's wrong with her? And I thought, oh god,
I didn't. I didn't know what to do. And then
(26:47):
the woman with the ugly shoes, who would have to
be his wife, because you wouldn't eat with it. Why
would you eat with someone you eat with the mouth open.
But anyway, she was saying, I don't know, she doesn't
look too sick to me. I bet she's just putting
it on.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I was.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I was so overwhelmed and upset, and I was waiting
for my friend and I was nervous about going and
all that sort of stuff, and so I put something
up on the Facebook page and said, oh god, this
is just happened. Help you know, And the funniest thing
is the number of people that like privately messaged me
(27:23):
that were offering significant violence disposing of bodies. You know,
I'll put them in jail. Were coppers, corrections officers, fire
service officers, and judicial officers so like that. So everybody
was really mad. And the best thing was that I
could actually outsource that anger. And someone said, oh, you know,
(27:46):
you're such a great advocate. I don't want to be
a friggin advocate. I want my life back, do you know.
And it's it's difficult because my life before was so active.
I was never home on the weekends. I was always
riding a bike or and half that was because I
didn't you know, I was at home, wasn't home. So
I don't quite know what to do with myself on
the weekends.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Now I've to teach some crochet.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
We'll see, Yeah, I can't do that because I have
like got RSI with my hands and stuff. Like everything
I try to do is just it's everything is more difficult.
And like standing up when you have to go right
and left, don't fall over because you've got belly, any
pelvic bone. You know, where's the cat? You know? Put
on the brakes on the four wheel walker, which I
hate and all that sort of stuff. I go to
(28:31):
bed and I'm exhausted mentally, and I would have walked
maybe one hundred steps in a day.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I suppose you're always having to think about like we
just think and do it when we're able bodied.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I suppose you're constantly having to think about the navigation
of things of everything.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Because you were.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Just saying when you came in about having you were
doing some work about crossing.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
A walkway, crossing the road, lessons, the road lessons.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yeah yeah, Now, I wouldn't have thought that was the
thing until you told me. But I don't have to
think about it because I'm in that position.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
But you were taught to cross the road when you're
a little kid and you're holding your mum's hand and
you did the heck to the road safety thing, look
to the left, look to the right, look to the
left again. Yeah, that's it. So all of that training
and that wrote learning to actually cross the road safely
you learned as a kid, and as a kid, particularly
when you're learning a language and stuff like that too.
(29:26):
It's much easier for children to learn languages because I
don't take it personally if they mispronounce something, because they
mispronounce everything, you know, count the number of steps one, two, three,
four and all that sort of stuff. So you have
learnt the skills to cross the road, but you've forgotten
about it because it's intuitive. Yeah, yeah, whereas I have
the only intuitive thing that I and this is I
(29:48):
think I was saying to you. All of my relationships
are different. I'm not doing the same work that I
used to do. I'm not living where I used to
live because even though I own the place it has stairs,
I can't go home. I haven't got any of my
artwork up on the walls because I'm renting. You know,
everything has different, but the only thing that's the same
is I have Bumble, who doesn't like me and never
(30:10):
has Bumbles a rescue cat and should be more grateful.
But so it's it's difficult. It's a difficult geek. And
like for me to get out of bed in the
morning takes me ten minutes. I've been timing myself back,
have you, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Because I mean I think, actually ten minutes is actually
pretty good.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
That's what takes me.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Half an hour.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Like that's so I wake up and I think ow
I'm sore, and then for me to get like get upright,
get to the side of the bed, stand up and
get to like into the kitchen, which is like a
lofty seven steps because of the world's smallest apartments, takes
me ten minutes where.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Too from here with you, I don't.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Know, like I've still got I had the big operation
in June twenty twenty three. I had the big operation
June twenty twenty four. Just before I left oh they
discovered that I'd had another growth in my lungs, so
I had to have that removed. So from June twenty
twenty four, I've now got a two year window before
(31:15):
the chance of recurrence of the cancer reduces significantly. So
although I'm tempted to buy a place at Portside, I'm
tempted to do lots of things. I kind of just
needed to settle for the next day in months and
just calm down and try and consolidate some stuff. It's difficult,
(31:35):
Like normally I would travel every eighteen months and go
overseas and come back with horrific credit card bills because
I'm bad at conversion or I think no, fifty euros
can't certainly cut be one hundred dollars, it's far too expensive,
must be twenty five. So I don't have any goals
or aspirations, which is really difficult for me because I
(31:59):
can't plan and I grew up in the hole. If
you filed a plan, you're planning to fail. So yeah,
So the next next eight ten months for me is
just calming down a bit and trying to not get
I think paralyzed with terror. Every three months when I
have the scans, that's a low point. You know, if
you're paying twelve hundred dollars for a scan, I mean
(32:22):
I could spend twelve hundred bucks at a day, so
but I have a much better time.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
So it cost you twelve hundred dollars every time you
have I want to say.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
So, yes, I do get some money back from the government,
and depending on what day of the week it is,
and depending what sort of scan it is, I pay
for pet scans and I have them done privately. And
that's why I have private health insurance because I do
not want to wait. I will not wait for the
public system to catch up with me because I needed
(32:50):
to get on top of that any growth and stuff
like that as quickly as I possibly can, so, yeah,
so I probably could get them through the public system,
but I will not wait. And also my main surgeon
is in the private sector, so he can access them
electronically easier to.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Yeah, it's so wonderful that system where they can allays
go log in and they can have a Yeah, it's
magic in real time.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
How did you find the nursing stuff and did you
see a big difference between the private and the public.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Yeah, I did, yes, I think without exception, all of
the nurses that looked laugh to me were incredibly kind
to me, and I worked very hard to be pleasant
and polite and kind to the nursing stuff as well.
You never want to be the person that's the reason
somebody has a bad day, and you don't want to
be on that bitch in bed for because there must
be bitches in bed fourer so so, and I was,
(33:43):
and my mum of course, and my grandmother, like my
nana and my mum's sister, they're all nurses. So no,
I'm going to get smacked in the face if I
upset the nursing stuff. Without exception, all of the nurses
were very kind to me in the private system. I
think that the patient to nurse ratio is much lower.
And I must admit the nurse teams that looked after
(34:06):
me and the nurse director who looked after me in
the private system, and the director of nursing came to
see me and stuff like everyone was really nice to me,
which is so bizarre. But they would come and like
one of the nurses were coming in, she'd spray like
you know, aromatherapy missed around and they like they would seriously.
One of the would come and rob my head so
I could go to sleep better, and they were so kind.
(34:28):
In the public system, I think there's a much higher
patient to nurse ratio, so I don't think they have
the space perhaps to give as much individualized attention. And also,
like the in the public system, I was sharing so
when I was in the rehab ward, you only had
females in rooms. If you were sharing a room in
(34:49):
the main hospital, you had males and females in the
same way. That sucked. That that sucks big time.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
It's awful. And I know they do it for beds
and so that you know the maximum capacity with beds,
but it is who ever came up with that, I
don't know it is the worst thing to do, especially
you know, more mature ladies, depending on what's going on
with you, Like you don't want to be sharing a
bathroom with a guy.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Well, it's not even like I mean that. The Remember,
the lowest point for me was my sister. I'd been saying, oh,
these nurses the worst and this is the worst ward,
blah blah blah, and Susy thinks she's just sick of
being in hospital, all right. And it was day four
hundred and forty seven, and I was in a shared
ward and there was a lot of in and out
people coming into this particular ward, and I've been there
(35:36):
for maybe four or five days, and I'd had somebody
next to me in a bed who was very psychiatrically
unwell and was trying to self harm, who was waiting,
I think, to get into the mental health component. She
had down Arexians and was trying to she was unwell,
but you know, the security is coming up and you know,
restraining her and all that sort of stuff. Anyway, and
(35:59):
I said, oh, well, Susus, I got to get over
yourself gaf. Anyway, she came up and I'd had to
have a shower and I was obviously in a wheelchair,
in a bath chair, and I'd been left in the
shower for forty five minutes after I'd had a shower,
because nobody could answer the bell to come and get
me out, and because I was sharing a war with
men and women, I actually didn't feel comfortable calling out
(36:21):
for someone to come and help me. And then the
door kept being and knocked on because all these men
wanted to have showers because they were going in for
it was just the worst. And then the lowest point
I was saying, and Susie came in. She said, oh, no,
she's possibly not exaggerating, which is a nice change for me.
And the junior nurse said to me, oh, look, if
you can just pop up and step over here, and
(36:43):
I went, I can't freaking walk, I mean, bloody hell fire,
but yeah, so I think I have the chance. You
read the charts pit. I actually said that to an
occupational therapy but she came in and said, I think
we'll just walk around, or just go around and set
in the sun and breathe in and breathe out. And
I said, have you read my file? Do you know
who I am? But I think that the patient to
(37:04):
start ratio is I don't I believe is much higher.
You know, you've got more staff to less patients in
the public system private system. I don't know if conditions
are better or worse in public versus private for the
nursing and.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Conditions are better, pays better in public, yes, the private
nurses get paid less. Yeah, yeah, So I think I
think there's definitely a.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Payoff with like a you know, like a a trade
off that you have. And I think that for my
health and my thing, I was incredibly lucky that for
the last sort of I think about six months at
least maybe even eight months of my stay in the
public system, I had my own room.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
That is like you are blessed.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Yeah, And and it was it was through the hard
work and the advocacy by my consultant and the nurse
unit manager and stuff like that that I got that
room and I kept that room because there's not many people,
even in rehab who are who are working.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Oh, and I think that wonderful and not just that
you know, you were contributing because of the type of
work you do, which we can't discuss on here. You
were contributing to our community. You were It's amazing what
work can do for your mental health and that you
feel valuable. You know that you're you yourself, are doing something,
(38:25):
You've got something to look forward to, something to get
up to do. And when it comes to healing and
you know, self worth and mental health, there's just so
many amazing things that are around you. Are having your
own space but also being able to work in that,
you know, while you're going through rehab, actually contributing and
(38:45):
not feeling like a patient.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the best thing for me was
when I went back to work and I was on
a teams meeting and of course everyone's really familiar with
like working virtually and working for I'm kind of pre COVID.
Was when I got sick, all right, so everyone else is,
I'll just get onto this white share point thing and
we'll look at this file together. I didn't know what
(39:08):
the hell they were talking about. But one of the
best things for me was I could blur the background
so nobody knew where I was. But also I was
talking to people that neither knew nor cared that I'd
been unwell, so they either liked me or disliked me
based on the skills qualifications, humor or otherwise that I
brought to the table, which was kind of nice as well.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
You know, yeah, it's like none of that happened.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, it was just you. It
was just me, for better or worse. And I actually
really wanted people to dislike me because it meant that
they didn't feel sorry for me. Well on that.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
No, I just want you to know I think fabulous.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I love you, and it's been we're going to get
We're going to get Lola to love me. Yet, we
will get Lola to love you.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
We'll just I'll get you more treats and giving you. Seriously,
but thank you for taking the time well to come
and chat with this about your experience. I little in
awe of your resilience, thanks, babe, because I don't know
if i'd have it.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Well, you know what, if you don't have any other option,
if you only if your option is you're falling to
pieces and no one's going to pick you up.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
You have to be resilient, now that you put it
that way, And look, you know what, we all have
different challenges.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah that's right, that's right. Yeah, just try not to
be addicted to people. I love that.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Yeah, just show a bit of tenderness. That's all it
takes to say Hi.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yep, you never know what people are going through. Even
the girls that look like they've got everything happening might
end up, like you know, with a mum with dementia.
You just don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Ye, thank you for taking the time to see me.
You're welcome, and no doubt I'll see out and about
with the dolls.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Oh look, we can only hope. Thanks Gav, You're welcome.