January 12, 2025 • 40 mins
Today on the podcast we chat with Simon Reader-Alexander
Simon has been practicing as an Endorsed-Enrolled Nurse (EEN) for more than five years, specialising in ENT and plastic and reconstructive surgical nursing with a focus on skin and wound care.
Simon had already established an extensive career in hairdressing when a serious family illness provided first-hand experience in the devoted care that nurses can provide to loved ones in need. This had a profound effect and ultimately saw him changing careers to pursue nursing.
Since then, Simon’s desire to ‘give back’ has become innate and he has assembled a committed clientele at the Atelier for cosmetic and dermal treatments.
Simon’s dedication to wound care nursing within the hospital environment overlaps with his cosmetic nursing practice and he takes great pride in playing his part in helping people heal.
Simon and I chat all things aesthetic, but then our chat takes a turn and we discuss mental health, self care and even homelessness. Simon is open and honest about what he has been through, in the hope it might help others.
Enjoy!
Bek x
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apologie production. Hi, my name's Beck Wodbine, and welcome to
Tenderness for Nurses.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm grateful for the person that I had the opportunity
to be.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
So I hid it and parked it for Nelly four years.
We always have free will, We always get to choose.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
We are autonomous.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Good afternoon everyone, Thank you for tuning back in to
Tenderness for Nurses. I am very privileged to have a
lovely colleague of mine, Simon Rita Alexander, who I met
not that long ago, actually at a skincare meeting. It
was a lastin, wasn't it that we were mar the
(00:50):
Galderma product, which I just have to say, and this
isn't a plug for anyone, but it is remarkable. But
you particularly love it because your background is in wound
care as an endorsed and rold nurse.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, so just give us a little bit of the
back of how long or when did you do your eens?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So about eight years ago now, and I did my
graduar at a private hospital in post op plastic and
reconstructive wing care. Sure, so, dealing with lots of gender
reaffirming surgeries, neckfash wounds, lots of stuff. So that's probably
(01:30):
what got me really into not only wind cabit, how
the skin heels, how to protect the skin barrier, all
the things that have kind of led me to the
point where I am now.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So the gender affirming surgery, you now have your own practice.
I do, yes, within the ascetic space. Yes, so you
know your competition.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I know, totally, totally.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I'd like to say that, but actually we're anything but no.
But do you tend to get patients now that are
on that journey?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I do, yes. I get patients of all varieties. Obviously
we know our bread and butter is female, but I
do get a wide variety of genders, socioeconomic backgrounds, lots
of different people. In I try to focus on what
I call it is positive aging. So I really come
(02:27):
down to trying to bring my background in nursing and
the reason why I started nursing is I want to
help people and I try to bring that into cosmetics.
So whether it be with how they look, how they feel,
if they need a chat, it's all kind of relevant.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
It isn't that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, So do you say no? Lots?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Me too? Oh my god, all the time?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Do you yeah? Me too? And I'm surprised at the
amount of other nurses that say, oh you say no,
and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, it's a scary part of our industry. And I
have to say, there seems to be two types of
people within the aesthetic space. There seems to be the
one that I'm medically ethically orientated and the ones that
are financially orientated. Would that be your take.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I definitely think so. I think. Look to be real,
I got into the industry because initially I was financially
motivated because I got really down about what I was
getting paid for a really long week at the hospital,
and not only was the compensation not sufficient, the support
(03:38):
wasn't sufficient. The emotional burnout just from doing the job,
no matter what level of nursing you are, just from
that patient interaction had really gotten to me. And this
was a way I thought maybe I could solve some
of those issues.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
So do you still work within the hospital?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I do, yeah, so casually. Yeah, I work in day
surgery and postop recovery.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Awesome. So doing plastics still.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Lots plastics is obviously one of your biggest operating theater
time consumers, so we do look after a lot of
plastic patients. But also autho IVF, a very small amount
of gender reaffirming and a lot of fertility. Actually, is
that right?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I actually started when I went and worked at s
Andrew's Hospital. I did my post grad year after I'd
done my registered nursing, my degree in nursing at s
Andrew's Hospital, and I started off doing lots of IVF.
Guyany and ies believe it.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Or not, Oh my god, this so much.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So so much, and I loved it. And then I
moved across and worked for Quins and Fertility Group for
numerous years. But I did everything, you know, like theater, recovery, anesthetics, grubbing, scouting,
admissions like.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
We just you do kind of have to be a
jack of all train.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah. And I loved it. I really loved it. The
hours were great. You know, we didn't think about pay
back then. It was just nurses just got great.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I didn't. I don't know one nurse that said I
got into nursing the pay No, I'll let.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Me thinking about that. Yeah, i'd have to say. I
can't say I've ever heard that either.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
No, So you know, I'm sure there might be some,
but yeah, definitely not me.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
What did you do before you became a nurse.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
So I actually was. I was a full time drag queen.
What are you now? There I was, and then I
was a hairdresser for ten years. So here in Brisbane,
both here in Brisbane.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, and where did you where did.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
You all all the local clubs from here to the
Gold Coast for quite a few years, namely one club
in the valley. That's quite so. I enjoyed it at
the time, I was it anymore? No too much effort?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Oh you like beautiful? Oh? Thank you? Absolutely stunning us
some of the drag.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Queens, aren't they. Yeah. And that's the amount of effort
that is a lot, is it?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
My god? And money really just to keep up makeup, wigs, costuming,
and to be honest, I'm you know, I'm almost forty.
I can't stay up that late.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
My god, Yes, I'm anana.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I'm ready for bed at seven thirty.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, I have to say almost forty. You don't look
at that.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh, well, you know perks of the industry.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Do you miss that? Do you miss the camaraderie? Well?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Interesting you say that, because yes, but I've developed a
different camaraderie in the cosmetic space. I've gotten a real
partnership and a real sense of community that I never
had in surgical nursing. So with a very small cohort, definitely,
(07:10):
I find that the support in the cosmetic space is
tenfold better than it was in hospital nursing. Not only
the support professionally, but the support emotionally, the support with
adverse events, the support in growing your business. It's all there,
(07:31):
and it's all quite easily accessible.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Actually, we were meant to do this podcast last week
and I had to go and help a colleague with
a significant vascular exression and it was so lovely you
just meant, yeah, no, go for going, of course, you know,
but I love the fact that there are people that
can reach out to me no judgment. It can happen
to the best injector, and it has on stage, I
(07:57):
want to say, but you would never know because they're
just so calm.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, it's not a reflection of you personally or professionally.
As we all know, it can happen.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Without a doubt. And I think the more time we
spend understanding and the research is there, the more we
know anatomically less likely we are to have a VEO.
But as you know, and so you guys understand that
we are taught anatomy facial anatomy, but thirty percent of
(08:30):
that now we know, diverges from what we know to
be true, if not maybe more than thirty percent. So
when we are injecting people's faces, in our minds, we
have a map of where the major vessels are ar, trees, muscles, ligaments,
bone structure, everything is, but on some people it's completely different.
(08:54):
Or one side might be the norm and the other
side is completely different.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yet to encounter a patient that is symmetrical, no one
is no, No one is no.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So it I know there are medical and nursing groups
out there that look at our industry as fluffy, but
I can tell you it is anything but especially when
you add wound care, lasers, skin dermatology, and injectibles, it
(09:29):
is an that incorporates so many other health concerns.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Do you know what I as a cosmetic nurse, we
see our patients sometimes monthly, but you know, at a
minimum three to six monthly, So we're seeing them more
than their primary care giver, physician, their GP, their you know,
specialist surgeon. So I think it's our responsibility to not
(09:56):
only do what they ask cosmetically. But I'm always getting
asked what's this or you know, I've said, hey, have
you had that checked out? I've done blood services, PRP, biophila.
When I've discovered the plasma is not looking good, not
looking great, I've sent them to the doctor. Straight after
(10:19):
I've called the doctor, I've explained what's going on and yeah,
super high and calcium yep.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And mind you, I've also done that and said you
partied a bit too hard on the.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Correct you know, it could have been one, it could
have been the Oh my god, how did you know?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
And I was like, well, I just saw your plasma.
I think maybe we stopped this treatment and you know,
drink fair bit of water and we'll see you in
a couple of yeah, correct time. However, it is true,
And because I have another nurse practitioner that comes into
the clinic that does skin cancer management and I have
a great relationship with germs in Brisbane as well as
(10:55):
plastics as I know you do. Yes, I've got a
client recently that you know, if youdex on one spot,
oh my god, the BCC was horrific. And then from
there we've gone on. You know, she's now got other
BCCs on her face. But we're not just putting needles
(11:16):
in people's faces. No, And you know I've told my
story on the podcast about not drinking. I can't tell
you now how many people ask me about how they
can give up alcohol. Now.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Oh, it's you know, it's systemic in the way we
have to look after our patients, as in we've got
to not only do skincare, but where they're talking cosmetics,
we're talking general mental health. You know, not that maybe
all of us have the qualifications to give, you know,
(11:51):
professional advice, but we're certainly a sounding board and.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
We know who to refer on to correct, because I'm assuming,
as an endorsement raw nurse with the upper guidelines, did
you have a registered nurse?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
So I do have registered nurse employed. She's employed and
contracted for both indirect and direct supervision. So just depending
on what procedure is booked in and what area of
the face, and what medication I'm using of course, so
you're doing everything right. Oh, correct. I found being an
(12:25):
endorsed in ROLD nurse and a slightly competitive person by nature,
I overstudy. So when I first got into cosmetics, I
and I've seen you speak about this. I had definite
imposter syndrome. I thought, what am I doing? How? You know?
(12:47):
And I just had been fortunate enough to have the
background in plastic surgery that I was accepted, But I
didn't feel like I was like, what are you doing?
You know, you're literally one of maybe a handful of
ians that are allowed to What makes you think you're
going to be good enough?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And how did you overcome that?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
The support of the community, mutual friends which we know
other like doctors, have been so supportive and so encouraging.
Nurse practitioners like yourself, fellow nurses in and out of
the industry, have just really given me that confidence that, hey,
(13:34):
you know, I am good at what I do. Yes,
I'm fortunate that I do have an aesthetic eye, which
has worked hand in hand with the cosmetic field.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Well, you know what, I really believe the best aesthetic
practitioners have an aesthetic and not everyone does. I know
when I trained for Galderma, I could go in and
I could see this gaping hole in someone's cheek and
I'm like, going, you need we have to put something here,
(14:07):
and they people can't see it. I couldn't understand it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
How they couldn't see it.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And maybe because I look at things in symmetry, I
just couldn't understand how they couldn't treat someone in a
symmetrical manner. You don't want to be you know, people
aren't exactly the same. But if there's a whole, surely
you can see that.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Whole, well, correct you? Well one would hope, wouldn't you.
But they can't know, And maybe they're blinded by financial gain,
blinded by he is in the industry. Who knows. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
It's a really interesting thing, and I certainly know there
are certain clinics out there that you really know what
clinics someone's gone to because of how that person looks,
because they reject everyone exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
The same correct or it's one area, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
And it's an interesting thing where if you really want
a beautiful, bespoke treatment, it's usually little bit every correct.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And one of the first things I say to my patients,
especially if they're new, is, first of all, I affirmed
that they should feel beautiful and confident in themselves without
our help, because again, coming from someone that has struggled
with self confidence, mental health, all of those kind of
(15:27):
struggles that we all do my whole life. I like
to make sure people know that no matter what we do,
they should feel beautiful in their own skin. And that's
why I really try and reinforce. Instead of calling an
anti aging, I like to refer to it as positive aging.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I might use that myself. Why not, because if you
don't feel good in your skin, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Oh? I wouldn't agree more. You would find, as I've found,
particularly women that having a marriage breakdown or a relationship
break out, and they come in, they go, just fill
me up. I want to feel better, yep. And if
it's a new client, I won't. No, I might, I
(16:15):
might do a little bit of yeah, but I won't
do a lot or I'll focus on this skin correct
first and foremost skin because I just think it's a
real knee jerk reaction and there's more obviously going on.
(16:36):
And I'm not about to take a lot of money
from someone who's about to be paying for financial legal
services and lord knows whatever else because they feel like
shit because their partner's just up and you know, gone
off with an eighteen year old.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Do you get I'm sure you do. But I get
a lot of people sometimes regular patients, they come in
and they go, let's just do something. I need something.
And then after consultation, I'm like, well, what are we
wanting to work on? What can you see? Oh? I
(17:14):
just want something. I always go back to skin, let's
work on skin.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
So my I mean, I've been doing this for fifty
twenty years. My clients now know not to ask that question,
and they will never come in and go. And they
also know now I won't treat too soon between anti
wrinkle treatments because I explained to them that the product
(17:40):
is still sitting between the nerve and the muscle, and
therefore the product that is injected gets washed away and
then the old one falls away, and then you start
getting into that what they people used to call as
a top up or a dosa just and I go, no,
don't do that, No, I send them away. And then
they come back and you know what, my clients now know.
(18:03):
They will go, I just need to reschedule for a
month's time because I know that's going to send me
away and I'm not quite jue yet. And it's so
wonderful because it's a about education, and no one ever
comes in now and asks for unless it's a new patient.
No one ever asked.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I mean, the new patients always ask for top ups.
But I hate that phrase.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
It's yes, correct, and it's only two weeks and I'm.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Sorry, it's exactly three weeks max. And for me it's
I'm an underdoser. I think that's the safest way to
play it, especially with me being an endorsed in ye
old nurse, but speaking more as a whole as you'd
know anti wrinkle, we can't take it back. No, no,
(18:52):
And coming from a point of view of someone that
inherently cares about people, I would not want that to
happen to any of my patients or anyone.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Oh no, absolutely not. And at the end of the day,
as a prescribing nurse, it has to I have to
prescribe for someone because it is.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Something that they need correct.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
If there's no movement, then I'm prescribing for nothing exactly.
So it also comes back to being an ethical prescriber.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
And I think that's really really important. You touched on
before about your own mental health journey.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Are you comfortable to talk about it totally? I think
it's important to shed a light on that, especially in the.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Nursing space and especially male correct there's not many of us,
so do you mind sharing.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Look, I've struggled my whole life. Without getting too into it,
my family situation coming out was not easy. It's a
very religious background there, and it caused a lot of drama,
caused a lot of lack of confidence, lack of feeling worthy.
(20:19):
I've obviously worked through that. I still struggle every day
with depression, and that's something that I have learned to manage,
obviously through the right medication, but also through mindfulness, through meditation, meditation.
(20:40):
Oh my god, and you exercise that I do, so
I try it well. I would like to exercise daily,
but if I'm being honest, I exercise three times a
week if I can.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
And do you see a psychologist?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Do I see a counselor a psychologist and a psychiatrist?
So yeah, the called Trio.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
So last week a lovely young friend of mine, she
was a very good friend with my daughter and played
water Apollo. She came on the podcast and Alice was
talking about as an lead athlete that you know she's
She was laughing about her whole life. She has you know,
(21:27):
family psychologists, sporting psychologists, another sporting psychologist like goes on
and on and on, and it has got her to
where it got her to the Olympics in the right headspace.
But what was interesting was that she realized that she
had to see a family psychologist to work on other
issues that a sporting psychologist couldn't help her with. So
(21:52):
in my mind, you saw the psychiatrist for your medications.
You see the psychologist and for someone to download to
and to, you know, worrying you to get off your chest.
And the counselor would be similar. I would have change.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Every day issues. Counselor is why did I react like that?
Trying to get that background of why did I get
so angry? Or why did I let that person walk
over me? Why didn't I say the boundary? Correct? Correct?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Do you think? In And this is something I've really
struggled with and caused a serious issue with burnout an
alcohol few years back. I just couldn't say no. I
couldn't say no any patient. I couldn't say no. I
just couldn't say no because I'm so worried that you
(22:50):
know that that go to the next person, or that
I wouldn't be good enough for saying no, And sending
boundaries is very hard for me.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Me too. Professionally, I can say no, I can say
no to piller, I can say no to other medications,
but I cannot say no personally. And I don't know
if that comes from that nurturing side of me. The
reason why I wanted to get into nursing, the drive
to help people. But my husband's also helped me understand this.
(23:28):
I can't help people add a detriment to myself. But
we do, though, but we do so.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
So I when what is your relationship with your family? Now?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
It's great now. You know my dad passed away about
eight years ago. Now it was a complicated relationship. Yeah,
but I was very fortunate. About about a week after
you passed, I met my now husband.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Yeah, so it's like your dad passed.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
And kind of I mean I used to joke with
him that, you know, I said, oh, my dad passed,
So you know, you can never leave me now because
I've got issues.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And when you came out to your family, how old
were you? So? I was eighteen, And I just want
to say, I hate the idea of and it's such
a I feel like it's an old fashioned term because
totally someone the other week, someone young I heard them saying,
what do you mean came out? What does that mean?
(24:36):
Why don't you just always what you are?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
So I think in some ways it is an archaic term.
I don't think as someone that identifies as a gay man,
I don't think there should be a need to come out.
I mean, the point of equality and inclusivity is that
we're all the same. So why should one particular person
(24:59):
from a particular group have to say, Hey, this is
who I sleep with. It's not no one's business. So unfortunately,
it was not as acceptable as it is now when
I came out, and I didn't come out by choice.
I was unfortunately outed. Oh god, yeah, and that caused
(25:26):
a lot of drama and a lot of issues within
my family and you and me and.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I would assume that said ongoing issues, correct, yep? Why
did that person feel like they needed to do that?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Look, we were young. I don't want to look at this. No, no, no,
not at all. This person I have and I have forgived.
And it wasn't just one person. It was a chain,
a chain of people, with most of them being in
my family.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Oh my god, it's like the Swiss cheese is correct.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
It all lines because you know, I was living with
one they said unacceptable. Then another called me and said,
you've got to tell your mother. Now you have half
an hour. And how old were barely eighteen?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Oh huh? Yeah? And how did did you cope with it?
Did you end up having to leave home?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah? So I had already left home because my mental
health was it was not a good taste for me
to be. And without getting too much into that, because
that's not my story to tell, I moved out with
(26:49):
some family. Unfortunately, when that all came out, I had
to move again.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Where did you find support?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Because in my chosen to be honest, But were you homeless? Essentially?
I never thought of myself as homeless, but yeah, I
think I countersurved for two years.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Do you know that is.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Far?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
That is one of the most common forms of homelessness.
Then most people realize and it's something that's really hard
to measure. Yeah, because people don't consider it as well.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
It's interesting because I never up until this moment, I
never thought of myself as being but I guess I was.
I had a car, I had somewhat of an income,
I was studying.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
You should be so proud of yourself. Yeah, I am
in retrospect, No like here, and now you should be
not in retrospect. You should be absolutely so proud of
yourself because you've overcome things that some people unfortunately never
overcome and find themselves in completely different situations.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Well, look, it hasn't been easy, and I've had my
struggles and still do. I'm just I think I fortunate.
I've also been surrounded by great people.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I am. I'm in awe of you. I think A
you're being really vulnerable sharing what you're sharing, and I
know it's looking at you and no it's not so
if you want to cite no, no loves.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It, get those views.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Thank you for sharing. Of course that because so many nurses, paramedics,
doctors have some serious mental health issues and we're all
too bare, too scared, too scared of RAPERA, too afraid,
too scared of the nursing Midwife board to say anything
(29:12):
and to the detriment of us, and we put everyone
else in front of us because that's what who cares.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That's who we are, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And I think it's fantastic You've got to tribe and
that you shared something so in with because that's that
takes courage.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Look it does, but you know it's it's not a
bad but that's just my that's just me. And you know,
I learned quickly that I'm not going to apologize for
who I am, no matter whether it's my family, people
I work for. That's one thing I won't ever have
(29:56):
a trouble with saying no about no, this is who
I am, and I'm okay with it.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
See, I've really, I have really struggled with the shame
around drinking. And that's then you know, having a you know,
total burnout and made a depression. And it's not the
depression I that just is what it is, but there's
such shame around it. And I've just recently started reading
(30:25):
Giball Matt's book and I'm actually going to see him
down the coast in the new year, and I came
to the realization it was actually just recently that has
nothing to be ashamed of. It's a pretty bloody good story.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
But if anything, you should be to be proud because
to me, what that shows that shows strength yep, yep,
and you should.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Be proud and not ashamed.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
And not shame is such a useless emotion and it
is drummed into us, and it is debilitating. But it's
a social construct, and unfortunately it's also a religious construct,
which really got drummed into me. And shame is useless.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
When you left home and I'm assuming you started doing
some drag work, was that a bit of a if you?
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, totally, there's a big well. I had never planned
to come out. I thought, let's just let's do what
my family does sometimes and stick it in a box
and not talk about it.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Okay, yep.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
So when kind of that happened and it was a
weight off my shoulders, I thought, you know what, if
this is such a bad thing, then let's go balls
to the wall. And so you did and I did,
and you know, I kind of just fell into drag
(31:57):
by gorgeous, Thank you seriously.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
So I can imagine you actually done up. But I
think you'd be a stunny me a photo.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I will, I will. My sisters hated it. They're like, oh,
I hate it. You have better legs than me. I
could never have.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Been a drag queen legs.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Oh god.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Anyway, and they do, they have smoking legs.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Yeah, well, you know it's all an illusion.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Do you? You said before that every day is making
a choice.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Two. So when you feel like you are overwhelmed, what
do you do?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Look Apart from obviously, I find breathing exercises are great
for myself personally. That helps centers my thoughts because I'm
an overthinker. But to be honest, my husband has been
my rock, not only physically, financially, emotionally, but he's my
(33:05):
best friend. He's who I turn to for advice. He's
who I turned to to center myself. And it was
an adjustment because we were married, we lived together, we
work together. Oh god, how does that go look? To
be honest, there were some teething issues at the start,
(33:26):
but I wouldn't want it any other way. I actually
love spending twenty four to seven with him. He's my
everything and I tell him he's only continued to make
me a better version of myself.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
But maybe you're making him a better version of him.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
I'd like to think so. But isn't that what a
good relationship is.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Absolutely, it's been able to communicate, love each other, give
each other space, correct hear each.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Other and I might not be I'm working on the
give him space.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
But you know what, you're aware of it yeah, and
that probably it probably goes back to feeling.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Unwanted totally, and that's something that has come up in therapy.
There you go, he did you just save me like
three hundred dollars? I'm sorry happy.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Out of everything we've chatted about, if you are a
guy wanting to get into nursing, yep, what would be
the best advice?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
First of all, why are you wanting to do it?
I think, even though yes, we need more nurses, but
we don't just need numbers. We need nurses that care.
And unfortunately, things like bureaucracy, pay, inequity get in the
way of nurses that care because at the end of
(34:53):
the day, any form of nursing is still nursing. And
I do it because of four words I ask every patient,
how can I help? I just want to help people.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I'm the same and I love my I love my clients,
and I love my patients, and I love that I'm
a nurse practitioner and can take it that next step.
I really love helping my colleagues.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Nothing I've seen that it's great fills.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
My cup up more than someone reaching out going hey
can you give me a hand? Absolutely, I don't know
it's it's a good feeling, but I think there's a
lot that don't do it.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
There are, and there are a lot that aren't as
humble about it. I have been on the receiving end
of people with your qualification or beat doctors and really
spoken down to really yeah yeah, or made to feel
like I've done something wrong by just being so being yeah,
(36:05):
taking up space and cosmetics.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
But you know what, some of the best, some of
the best injectors, nurse practitioners, registered nurses, doctors, own, rolled,
endorsed and role nurses.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You know, I think it's that tortoise and the hair
we've had to lack in shell way.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
You're probably like I, so I always I just had
this mindset. I was always going to go under the radar,
And you're probably exactly the same. You just spot along,
you do your own thing. You've surrounded yourself with the
right people, and I did. That was something I made
a very conscious decision when I first started to make
sure I had really good doctors and other nurses around
(36:49):
me and mentors. I didn't listen to the rubbish on
the outside. And you know what's really interesting is since
the TGA ruling has come in with all the advertising,
I've had more new clients since the beginning of July
than I've ever had in a time period.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Me too, and my socials are oh mine too. Do
you know how many times I've spoken about skin and
consultation is key?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
I know, how many times can you do it? I'm like,
how many times can you talk about salmon spam?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I know, I'm like, or the benefits of plasma, But it's.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
True, I cannot tell you.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
I me too. It's crazy, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
And I just think people are sitting back and looking
at who's doing the right thing. I think so, and
they're looking at people that aren't doing the right thing
on social media and game, well, why would I go
to that person? We attract the people that are like us,
so therefore they're going to talk about us to hopefully
people that are like them, that are like us. So
(37:59):
I have to say, and I'm sure you're the same.
The new clients that are coming in are beautiful, lovely or.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Just giant, genuine people.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
And I'm loving it because it's not someone looking at
Instagram and go, oh my god, I got to see her,
and then you know, they book don't show up you know,
all that sort of stuff. These are genuinely lovely people
that listen ware sirtation that you have with them. Understand
(38:27):
that I might go, I'm not doing anything medically orientated.
We're going to focus on your skin. First. You need
to see your lease and have a skin check done.
Then we might look at doing some ipl just to
even your skin tone out, maybe some pills you need
some retinal and then we go from there, because what's
the point in shopping a heat product in someone's face
(38:50):
with the hollyrincles when their skin looks like, you know,
like an eighty year.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Old beaten up Chanel handbag.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Absolutely, and you don't one because you're not doing the
right thing by your patients. No, you're not, because it
still looks the same, except they just don't have wrinkles correct.
And like, as most people know, the skin is the
largest organ. Absolutely, So.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Why are we taking care of appearance over organ and
skin health?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Absolutely? And that's why dermatology is such a complex specialty
because so much impacts the skin. You know, it absorbs thing,
it protects us, it moderates our temperature. It is such
a complex organ and we need to really really look
(39:40):
after our skin totally first and foremost, and then we
look at that and like I say to my patients
and you probably do the same, is that if your
skin is healthy and fit and great healthy barrier, your product.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Is going to last longer and it's going to look better. Absolutely,
because at the end of the day, we're not treating
aging as you know, aging skin. We're treating dehydration and
we're treating a breakdown of the barrier. So if you're
using the right ingredients, if you're using the right treatments,
you're going to get a better result with your cosmetics.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Absolutely well. On that note, I want to say thank
you so much for coming in up in a way
I didn't expect to go, but I love it. Thank
you so much for it's my pleasure, and sorry for
the couple of times we've had to not at all.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
That's the life of Annette.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Absolutely and I've loved every second with you.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Think me too. Thank you so much for that pleasure.
Apologie production. Hi, my name's Beck Wodbine, and welcome to
Tenderness for Nurses.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm grateful for the person that I had the opportunity
to be.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
So I hid it and parked it for Nelly four years.
We always have free will, We always get to choose.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
We are autonomous.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Good afternoon everyone, Thank you for tuning back in to
Tenderness for Nurses. I am very privileged to have a
lovely colleague of mine, Simon Rita Alexander, who I met
not that long ago, actually at a skincare meeting. It
was a lastin, wasn't it that we were mar the
(00:50):
Galderma product, which I just have to say, and this
isn't a plug for anyone, but it is remarkable. But
you particularly love it because your background is in wound
care as an endorsed and rold nurse.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, so just give us a little bit of the
back of how long or when did you do your eens?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So about eight years ago now, and I did my
graduar at a private hospital in post op plastic and
reconstructive wing care. Sure, so, dealing with lots of gender
reaffirming surgeries, neckfash wounds, lots of stuff. So that's probably
(01:30):
what got me really into not only wind cabit, how
the skin heels, how to protect the skin barrier, all
the things that have kind of led me to the
point where I am now.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So the gender affirming surgery, you now have your own practice.
I do, yes, within the ascetic space. Yes, so you
know your competition.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I know, totally, totally.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I'd like to say that, but actually we're anything but no.
But do you tend to get patients now that are
on that journey?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I do, yes. I get patients of all varieties. Obviously
we know our bread and butter is female, but I
do get a wide variety of genders, socioeconomic backgrounds, lots
of different people. In I try to focus on what
I call it is positive aging. So I really come
(02:27):
down to trying to bring my background in nursing and
the reason why I started nursing is I want to
help people and I try to bring that into cosmetics.
So whether it be with how they look, how they feel,
if they need a chat, it's all kind of relevant.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
It isn't that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, So do you say no? Lots?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Me too? Oh my god, all the time?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Do you yeah? Me too? And I'm surprised at the
amount of other nurses that say, oh you say no,
and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, it's a scary part of our industry. And I
have to say, there seems to be two types of
people within the aesthetic space. There seems to be the
one that I'm medically ethically orientated and the ones that
are financially orientated. Would that be your take.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I definitely think so. I think. Look to be real,
I got into the industry because initially I was financially
motivated because I got really down about what I was
getting paid for a really long week at the hospital,
and not only was the compensation not sufficient, the support
(03:38):
wasn't sufficient. The emotional burnout just from doing the job,
no matter what level of nursing you are, just from
that patient interaction had really gotten to me. And this
was a way I thought maybe I could solve some
of those issues.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
So do you still work within the hospital?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I do, yeah, so casually. Yeah, I work in day
surgery and postop recovery.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Awesome. So doing plastics still.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Lots plastics is obviously one of your biggest operating theater
time consumers, so we do look after a lot of
plastic patients. But also autho IVF, a very small amount
of gender reaffirming and a lot of fertility. Actually, is
that right?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I actually started when I went and worked at s
Andrew's Hospital. I did my post grad year after I'd
done my registered nursing, my degree in nursing at s
Andrew's Hospital, and I started off doing lots of IVF.
Guyany and ies believe it.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Or not, Oh my god, this so much.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So so much, and I loved it. And then I
moved across and worked for Quins and Fertility Group for
numerous years. But I did everything, you know, like theater, recovery, anesthetics, grubbing, scouting,
admissions like.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
We just you do kind of have to be a
jack of all train.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah. And I loved it. I really loved it. The
hours were great. You know, we didn't think about pay
back then. It was just nurses just got great.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I didn't. I don't know one nurse that said I
got into nursing the pay No, I'll let.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Me thinking about that. Yeah, i'd have to say. I
can't say I've ever heard that either.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
No, So you know, I'm sure there might be some,
but yeah, definitely not me.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
What did you do before you became a nurse.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
So I actually was. I was a full time drag queen.
What are you now? There I was, and then I
was a hairdresser for ten years. So here in Brisbane,
both here in Brisbane.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, and where did you where did.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
You all all the local clubs from here to the
Gold Coast for quite a few years, namely one club
in the valley. That's quite so. I enjoyed it at
the time, I was it anymore? No too much effort?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Oh you like beautiful? Oh? Thank you? Absolutely stunning us
some of the drag.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Queens, aren't they. Yeah. And that's the amount of effort
that is a lot, is it?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
My god? And money really just to keep up makeup, wigs, costuming,
and to be honest, I'm you know, I'm almost forty.
I can't stay up that late.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
My god, Yes, I'm anana.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I'm ready for bed at seven thirty.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, I have to say almost forty. You don't look
at that.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh, well, you know perks of the industry.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Do you miss that? Do you miss the camaraderie? Well?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Interesting you say that, because yes, but I've developed a
different camaraderie in the cosmetic space. I've gotten a real
partnership and a real sense of community that I never
had in surgical nursing. So with a very small cohort, definitely,
(07:10):
I find that the support in the cosmetic space is
tenfold better than it was in hospital nursing. Not only
the support professionally, but the support emotionally, the support with
adverse events, the support in growing your business. It's all there,
(07:31):
and it's all quite easily accessible.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Actually, we were meant to do this podcast last week
and I had to go and help a colleague with
a significant vascular exression and it was so lovely you
just meant, yeah, no, go for going, of course, you know,
but I love the fact that there are people that
can reach out to me no judgment. It can happen
to the best injector, and it has on stage, I
(07:57):
want to say, but you would never know because they're
just so calm.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, it's not a reflection of you personally or professionally.
As we all know, it can happen.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Without a doubt. And I think the more time we
spend understanding and the research is there, the more we
know anatomically less likely we are to have a VEO.
But as you know, and so you guys understand that
we are taught anatomy facial anatomy, but thirty percent of
(08:30):
that now we know, diverges from what we know to
be true, if not maybe more than thirty percent. So
when we are injecting people's faces, in our minds, we
have a map of where the major vessels are ar, trees, muscles, ligaments,
bone structure, everything is, but on some people it's completely different.
(08:54):
Or one side might be the norm and the other
side is completely different.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yet to encounter a patient that is symmetrical, no one
is no, No one is no.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So it I know there are medical and nursing groups
out there that look at our industry as fluffy, but
I can tell you it is anything but especially when
you add wound care, lasers, skin dermatology, and injectibles, it
(09:29):
is an that incorporates so many other health concerns.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Do you know what I as a cosmetic nurse, we
see our patients sometimes monthly, but you know, at a
minimum three to six monthly, So we're seeing them more
than their primary care giver, physician, their GP, their you know,
specialist surgeon. So I think it's our responsibility to not
(09:56):
only do what they ask cosmetically. But I'm always getting
asked what's this or you know, I've said, hey, have
you had that checked out? I've done blood services, PRP, biophila.
When I've discovered the plasma is not looking good, not
looking great, I've sent them to the doctor. Straight after
(10:19):
I've called the doctor, I've explained what's going on and yeah,
super high and calcium yep.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And mind you, I've also done that and said you
partied a bit too hard on the.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Correct you know, it could have been one, it could
have been the Oh my god, how did you know?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
And I was like, well, I just saw your plasma.
I think maybe we stopped this treatment and you know,
drink fair bit of water and we'll see you in
a couple of yeah, correct time. However, it is true,
And because I have another nurse practitioner that comes into
the clinic that does skin cancer management and I have
a great relationship with germs in Brisbane as well as
(10:55):
plastics as I know you do. Yes, I've got a
client recently that you know, if youdex on one spot,
oh my god, the BCC was horrific. And then from
there we've gone on. You know, she's now got other
BCCs on her face. But we're not just putting needles
(11:16):
in people's faces. No, And you know I've told my
story on the podcast about not drinking. I can't tell
you now how many people ask me about how they
can give up alcohol. Now.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Oh, it's you know, it's systemic in the way we
have to look after our patients, as in we've got
to not only do skincare, but where they're talking cosmetics,
we're talking general mental health. You know, not that maybe
all of us have the qualifications to give, you know,
(11:51):
professional advice, but we're certainly a sounding board and.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
We know who to refer on to correct, because I'm assuming,
as an endorsement raw nurse with the upper guidelines, did
you have a registered nurse?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
So I do have registered nurse employed. She's employed and
contracted for both indirect and direct supervision. So just depending
on what procedure is booked in and what area of
the face, and what medication I'm using of course, so
you're doing everything right. Oh, correct. I found being an
(12:25):
endorsed in ROLD nurse and a slightly competitive person by nature,
I overstudy. So when I first got into cosmetics, I
and I've seen you speak about this. I had definite
imposter syndrome. I thought, what am I doing? How? You know?
(12:47):
And I just had been fortunate enough to have the
background in plastic surgery that I was accepted, But I
didn't feel like I was like, what are you doing?
You know, you're literally one of maybe a handful of
ians that are allowed to What makes you think you're
going to be good enough?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And how did you overcome that?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
The support of the community, mutual friends which we know
other like doctors, have been so supportive and so encouraging.
Nurse practitioners like yourself, fellow nurses in and out of
the industry, have just really given me that confidence that, hey,
(13:34):
you know, I am good at what I do. Yes,
I'm fortunate that I do have an aesthetic eye, which
has worked hand in hand with the cosmetic field.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Well, you know what, I really believe the best aesthetic
practitioners have an aesthetic and not everyone does. I know
when I trained for Galderma, I could go in and
I could see this gaping hole in someone's cheek and
I'm like, going, you need we have to put something here,
(14:07):
and they people can't see it. I couldn't understand it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
How they couldn't see it.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And maybe because I look at things in symmetry, I
just couldn't understand how they couldn't treat someone in a
symmetrical manner. You don't want to be you know, people
aren't exactly the same. But if there's a whole, surely
you can see that.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Whole, well, correct you? Well one would hope, wouldn't you.
But they can't know, And maybe they're blinded by financial gain,
blinded by he is in the industry. Who knows. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
It's a really interesting thing, and I certainly know there
are certain clinics out there that you really know what
clinics someone's gone to because of how that person looks,
because they reject everyone exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
The same correct or it's one area, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
And it's an interesting thing where if you really want
a beautiful, bespoke treatment, it's usually little bit every correct.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And one of the first things I say to my patients,
especially if they're new, is, first of all, I affirmed
that they should feel beautiful and confident in themselves without
our help, because again, coming from someone that has struggled
with self confidence, mental health, all of those kind of
(15:27):
struggles that we all do my whole life. I like
to make sure people know that no matter what we do,
they should feel beautiful in their own skin. And that's
why I really try and reinforce. Instead of calling an
anti aging, I like to refer to it as positive aging.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I might use that myself. Why not, because if you
don't feel good in your skin, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Oh? I wouldn't agree more. You would find, as I've found,
particularly women that having a marriage breakdown or a relationship
break out, and they come in, they go, just fill
me up. I want to feel better, yep. And if
it's a new client, I won't. No, I might, I
(16:15):
might do a little bit of yeah, but I won't
do a lot or I'll focus on this skin correct
first and foremost skin because I just think it's a
real knee jerk reaction and there's more obviously going on.
(16:36):
And I'm not about to take a lot of money
from someone who's about to be paying for financial legal
services and lord knows whatever else because they feel like
shit because their partner's just up and you know, gone
off with an eighteen year old.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Do you get I'm sure you do. But I get
a lot of people sometimes regular patients, they come in
and they go, let's just do something. I need something.
And then after consultation, I'm like, well, what are we
wanting to work on? What can you see? Oh? I
(17:14):
just want something. I always go back to skin, let's
work on skin.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
So my I mean, I've been doing this for fifty
twenty years. My clients now know not to ask that question,
and they will never come in and go. And they
also know now I won't treat too soon between anti
wrinkle treatments because I explained to them that the product
(17:40):
is still sitting between the nerve and the muscle, and
therefore the product that is injected gets washed away and
then the old one falls away, and then you start
getting into that what they people used to call as
a top up or a dosa just and I go, no,
don't do that, No, I send them away. And then
they come back and you know what, my clients now know.
(18:03):
They will go, I just need to reschedule for a
month's time because I know that's going to send me
away and I'm not quite jue yet. And it's so
wonderful because it's a about education, and no one ever
comes in now and asks for unless it's a new patient.
No one ever asked.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I mean, the new patients always ask for top ups.
But I hate that phrase.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
It's yes, correct, and it's only two weeks and I'm.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Sorry, it's exactly three weeks max. And for me it's
I'm an underdoser. I think that's the safest way to
play it, especially with me being an endorsed in ye
old nurse, but speaking more as a whole as you'd
know anti wrinkle, we can't take it back. No, no,
(18:52):
And coming from a point of view of someone that
inherently cares about people, I would not want that to
happen to any of my patients or anyone.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Oh no, absolutely not. And at the end of the day,
as a prescribing nurse, it has to I have to
prescribe for someone because it is.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Something that they need correct.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
If there's no movement, then I'm prescribing for nothing exactly.
So it also comes back to being an ethical prescriber.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
And I think that's really really important. You touched on
before about your own mental health journey.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Are you comfortable to talk about it totally? I think
it's important to shed a light on that, especially in the.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Nursing space and especially male correct there's not many of us,
so do you mind sharing.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Look, I've struggled my whole life. Without getting too into it,
my family situation coming out was not easy. It's a
very religious background there, and it caused a lot of drama,
caused a lot of lack of confidence, lack of feeling worthy.
(20:19):
I've obviously worked through that. I still struggle every day
with depression, and that's something that I have learned to manage,
obviously through the right medication, but also through mindfulness, through meditation, meditation.
(20:40):
Oh my god, and you exercise that I do, so
I try it well. I would like to exercise daily,
but if I'm being honest, I exercise three times a
week if I can.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
And do you see a psychologist?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Do I see a counselor a psychologist and a psychiatrist?
So yeah, the called Trio.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
So last week a lovely young friend of mine, she
was a very good friend with my daughter and played
water Apollo. She came on the podcast and Alice was
talking about as an lead athlete that you know she's
She was laughing about her whole life. She has you know,
(21:27):
family psychologists, sporting psychologists, another sporting psychologist like goes on
and on and on, and it has got her to
where it got her to the Olympics in the right headspace.
But what was interesting was that she realized that she
had to see a family psychologist to work on other
issues that a sporting psychologist couldn't help her with. So
(21:52):
in my mind, you saw the psychiatrist for your medications.
You see the psychologist and for someone to download to
and to, you know, worrying you to get off your chest.
And the counselor would be similar. I would have change.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Every day issues. Counselor is why did I react like that?
Trying to get that background of why did I get
so angry? Or why did I let that person walk
over me? Why didn't I say the boundary? Correct? Correct?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Do you think? In And this is something I've really
struggled with and caused a serious issue with burnout an
alcohol few years back. I just couldn't say no. I
couldn't say no any patient. I couldn't say no. I
just couldn't say no because I'm so worried that you
(22:50):
know that that go to the next person, or that
I wouldn't be good enough for saying no, And sending
boundaries is very hard for me.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Me too. Professionally, I can say no, I can say
no to piller, I can say no to other medications,
but I cannot say no personally. And I don't know
if that comes from that nurturing side of me. The
reason why I wanted to get into nursing, the drive
to help people. But my husband's also helped me understand this.
(23:28):
I can't help people add a detriment to myself. But
we do, though, but we do so.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
So I when what is your relationship with your family? Now?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
It's great now. You know my dad passed away about
eight years ago. Now it was a complicated relationship. Yeah,
but I was very fortunate. About about a week after
you passed, I met my now husband.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Yeah, so it's like your dad passed.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
And kind of I mean I used to joke with
him that, you know, I said, oh, my dad passed,
So you know, you can never leave me now because
I've got issues.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And when you came out to your family, how old
were you? So? I was eighteen, And I just want
to say, I hate the idea of and it's such
a I feel like it's an old fashioned term because
totally someone the other week, someone young I heard them saying,
what do you mean came out? What does that mean?
(24:36):
Why don't you just always what you are?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
So I think in some ways it is an archaic term.
I don't think as someone that identifies as a gay man,
I don't think there should be a need to come out.
I mean, the point of equality and inclusivity is that
we're all the same. So why should one particular person
(24:59):
from a particular group have to say, Hey, this is
who I sleep with. It's not no one's business. So unfortunately,
it was not as acceptable as it is now when
I came out, and I didn't come out by choice.
I was unfortunately outed. Oh god, yeah, and that caused
(25:26):
a lot of drama and a lot of issues within
my family and you and me and.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I would assume that said ongoing issues, correct, yep? Why
did that person feel like they needed to do that?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Look, we were young. I don't want to look at this. No, no, no,
not at all. This person I have and I have forgived.
And it wasn't just one person. It was a chain,
a chain of people, with most of them being in
my family.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Oh my god, it's like the Swiss cheese is correct.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
It all lines because you know, I was living with
one they said unacceptable. Then another called me and said,
you've got to tell your mother. Now you have half
an hour. And how old were barely eighteen?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Oh huh? Yeah? And how did did you cope with it?
Did you end up having to leave home?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah? So I had already left home because my mental
health was it was not a good taste for me
to be. And without getting too much into that, because
that's not my story to tell, I moved out with
(26:49):
some family. Unfortunately, when that all came out, I had
to move again.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Where did you find support?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Because in my chosen to be honest, But were you homeless? Essentially?
I never thought of myself as homeless, but yeah, I
think I countersurved for two years.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Do you know that is.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Far?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
That is one of the most common forms of homelessness.
Then most people realize and it's something that's really hard
to measure. Yeah, because people don't consider it as well.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
It's interesting because I never up until this moment, I
never thought of myself as being but I guess I was.
I had a car, I had somewhat of an income,
I was studying.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
You should be so proud of yourself. Yeah, I am
in retrospect, No like here, and now you should be
not in retrospect. You should be absolutely so proud of
yourself because you've overcome things that some people unfortunately never
overcome and find themselves in completely different situations.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Well, look, it hasn't been easy, and I've had my
struggles and still do. I'm just I think I fortunate.
I've also been surrounded by great people.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I am. I'm in awe of you. I think A
you're being really vulnerable sharing what you're sharing, and I
know it's looking at you and no it's not so
if you want to cite no, no loves.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It, get those views.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Thank you for sharing. Of course that because so many nurses, paramedics,
doctors have some serious mental health issues and we're all
too bare, too scared, too scared of RAPERA, too afraid,
too scared of the nursing Midwife board to say anything
(29:12):
and to the detriment of us, and we put everyone
else in front of us because that's what who cares.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That's who we are, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And I think it's fantastic You've got to tribe and
that you shared something so in with because that's that
takes courage.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Look it does, but you know it's it's not a
bad but that's just my that's just me. And you know,
I learned quickly that I'm not going to apologize for
who I am, no matter whether it's my family, people
I work for. That's one thing I won't ever have
(29:56):
a trouble with saying no about no, this is who
I am, and I'm okay with it.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
See, I've really, I have really struggled with the shame
around drinking. And that's then you know, having a you know,
total burnout and made a depression. And it's not the
depression I that just is what it is, but there's
such shame around it. And I've just recently started reading
(30:25):
Giball Matt's book and I'm actually going to see him
down the coast in the new year, and I came
to the realization it was actually just recently that has
nothing to be ashamed of. It's a pretty bloody good story.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
But if anything, you should be to be proud because
to me, what that shows that shows strength yep, yep,
and you should.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Be proud and not ashamed.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
And not shame is such a useless emotion and it
is drummed into us, and it is debilitating. But it's
a social construct, and unfortunately it's also a religious construct,
which really got drummed into me. And shame is useless.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
When you left home and I'm assuming you started doing
some drag work, was that a bit of a if you?
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, totally, there's a big well. I had never planned
to come out. I thought, let's just let's do what
my family does sometimes and stick it in a box
and not talk about it.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Okay, yep.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
So when kind of that happened and it was a
weight off my shoulders, I thought, you know what, if
this is such a bad thing, then let's go balls
to the wall. And so you did and I did,
and you know, I kind of just fell into drag
(31:57):
by gorgeous, Thank you seriously.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
So I can imagine you actually done up. But I
think you'd be a stunny me a photo.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I will, I will. My sisters hated it. They're like, oh,
I hate it. You have better legs than me. I
could never have.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Been a drag queen legs.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Oh god.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Anyway, and they do, they have smoking legs.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Yeah, well, you know it's all an illusion.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Do you? You said before that every day is making
a choice.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Two. So when you feel like you are overwhelmed, what
do you do?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Look Apart from obviously, I find breathing exercises are great
for myself personally. That helps centers my thoughts because I'm
an overthinker. But to be honest, my husband has been
my rock, not only physically, financially, emotionally, but he's my
(33:05):
best friend. He's who I turn to for advice. He's
who I turned to to center myself. And it was
an adjustment because we were married, we lived together, we
work together. Oh god, how does that go look? To
be honest, there were some teething issues at the start,
(33:26):
but I wouldn't want it any other way. I actually
love spending twenty four to seven with him. He's my
everything and I tell him he's only continued to make
me a better version of myself.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
But maybe you're making him a better version of him.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
I'd like to think so. But isn't that what a
good relationship is.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Absolutely, it's been able to communicate, love each other, give
each other space, correct hear each.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Other and I might not be I'm working on the
give him space.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
But you know what, you're aware of it yeah, and
that probably it probably goes back to feeling.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Unwanted totally, and that's something that has come up in therapy.
There you go, he did you just save me like
three hundred dollars? I'm sorry happy.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Out of everything we've chatted about, if you are a
guy wanting to get into nursing, yep, what would be
the best advice?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
First of all, why are you wanting to do it?
I think, even though yes, we need more nurses, but
we don't just need numbers. We need nurses that care.
And unfortunately, things like bureaucracy, pay, inequity get in the
way of nurses that care because at the end of
(34:53):
the day, any form of nursing is still nursing. And
I do it because of four words I ask every patient,
how can I help? I just want to help people.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I'm the same and I love my I love my clients,
and I love my patients, and I love that I'm
a nurse practitioner and can take it that next step.
I really love helping my colleagues.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Nothing I've seen that it's great fills.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
My cup up more than someone reaching out going hey
can you give me a hand? Absolutely, I don't know
it's it's a good feeling, but I think there's a
lot that don't do it.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
There are, and there are a lot that aren't as
humble about it. I have been on the receiving end
of people with your qualification or beat doctors and really
spoken down to really yeah yeah, or made to feel
like I've done something wrong by just being so being yeah,
(36:05):
taking up space and cosmetics.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
But you know what, some of the best, some of
the best injectors, nurse practitioners, registered nurses, doctors, own, rolled,
endorsed and role nurses.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You know, I think it's that tortoise and the hair
we've had to lack in shell way.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
You're probably like I, so I always I just had
this mindset. I was always going to go under the radar,
And you're probably exactly the same. You just spot along,
you do your own thing. You've surrounded yourself with the
right people, and I did. That was something I made
a very conscious decision when I first started to make
sure I had really good doctors and other nurses around
(36:49):
me and mentors. I didn't listen to the rubbish on
the outside. And you know what's really interesting is since
the TGA ruling has come in with all the advertising,
I've had more new clients since the beginning of July
than I've ever had in a time period.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Me too, and my socials are oh mine too. Do
you know how many times I've spoken about skin and
consultation is key?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
I know, how many times can you do it? I'm like,
how many times can you talk about salmon spam?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I know, I'm like, or the benefits of plasma, But it's.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
True, I cannot tell you.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
I me too. It's crazy, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
And I just think people are sitting back and looking
at who's doing the right thing. I think so, and
they're looking at people that aren't doing the right thing
on social media and game, well, why would I go
to that person? We attract the people that are like us,
so therefore they're going to talk about us to hopefully
people that are like them, that are like us. So
(37:59):
I have to say, and I'm sure you're the same.
The new clients that are coming in are beautiful, lovely or.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Just giant, genuine people.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
And I'm loving it because it's not someone looking at
Instagram and go, oh my god, I got to see her,
and then you know, they book don't show up you know,
all that sort of stuff. These are genuinely lovely people
that listen ware sirtation that you have with them. Understand
(38:27):
that I might go, I'm not doing anything medically orientated.
We're going to focus on your skin. First. You need
to see your lease and have a skin check done.
Then we might look at doing some ipl just to
even your skin tone out, maybe some pills you need
some retinal and then we go from there, because what's
the point in shopping a heat product in someone's face
(38:50):
with the hollyrincles when their skin looks like, you know,
like an eighty year.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Old beaten up Chanel handbag.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Absolutely, and you don't one because you're not doing the
right thing by your patients. No, you're not, because it
still looks the same, except they just don't have wrinkles correct.
And like, as most people know, the skin is the
largest organ. Absolutely, So.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Why are we taking care of appearance over organ and
skin health?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Absolutely? And that's why dermatology is such a complex specialty
because so much impacts the skin. You know, it absorbs thing,
it protects us, it moderates our temperature. It is such
a complex organ and we need to really really look
(39:40):
after our skin totally first and foremost, and then we
look at that and like I say to my patients
and you probably do the same, is that if your
skin is healthy and fit and great healthy barrier, your product.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Is going to last longer and it's going to look better. Absolutely,
because at the end of the day, we're not treating
aging as you know, aging skin. We're treating dehydration and
we're treating a breakdown of the barrier. So if you're
using the right ingredients, if you're using the right treatments,
you're going to get a better result with your cosmetics.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Absolutely well. On that note, I want to say thank
you so much for coming in up in a way
I didn't expect to go, but I love it. Thank
you so much for it's my pleasure, and sorry for
the couple of times we've had to not at all.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
That's the life of Annette.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Absolutely and I've loved every second with you.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Think me too. Thank you so much for that pleasure.
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