May 4, 2025 • 32 mins
While Bek is taking a short break, please enjoy one of her earlier episodes!
n this episode Bek is joined by Angela Koning, a leadership coach with her own business called Equenti. Due to her own experience with burnout, Bek and Angela discuss burnout, how to avoid it and how to manage it.
You can contact Ange at www.equenti.com
Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/tendernessnurses
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appolgie Production. Hi, my name's beck Woodbine and welcome to
Tenderness for Nurses.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Do you need to burn out to have those insights?
While I'm talking about it now? But you know, came
to educate the world about it, but.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I didn't want anyone to know that I was so unwell.
I don't know when it was ever okay to yell
or scream or abuse somebody. We need to have support
and know where to look for support and know how
to look after ourselves, not just professionally, but personally as well.
It was quite profound and I learned a lot from
(00:45):
that one action.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Everyone, Welcome to Tenderness for Nurses. Today, we have the
lovely guest and friend of mine and Coney, who owns
and runs equenty leadership and learning business. She's here today
to chat to us about leadership but also burnout, which
has had a very personally experienced with and I have to.
(01:09):
So we're going to chat through what it is, how
you can help prevent it if you're at that stage,
what you can do to promote your wellness and health,
and it's something I think we as nurses all need
to be very aware of with burnout especially in very
high stress situations, but also how we can be good
leaders to each other within the nursing environment. So thanks
(01:32):
Ange for coming in.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I really appreciate it. Thanks for inviting me. It's my
pleasure give us a little.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Bit of a rundown on you and what you do.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I am a leadership coach and management consultant, and that
means I'm working every day with leaders at some level
from the front line right through to the senior executive,
who are feeling the pressure to deliver in the business environment,
and they're trying to deliver results for their organization and
as well as look after their personal wellbeing and be
(02:03):
good leaders in the process.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Since COVID, do you think it's got worse to deliver
more for less.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I think the dynamics of work and the experience of
work has changed. So we're all aware that we now
have more flexible ways of working and that's challenged some
of the more traditional leaders, although for nurses, you still
need to turn up in the hospital and other care environments,
and so you've had less flexibility and perhaps more pressure
(02:30):
in your industry than other industries that have felt the
relief of working from home and the relief of flexible
hours and the blending of work and life in a
more integrated way.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I think people have realized how much money they can
save not communing and time and energy time and but yeah,
you're right. In the hospital setting and healthcare, they didn't
have that opportunity. In fact, I think it got more stressful.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, I would imagine.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So you yourself have had and spoken quite openly about burnout.
And I know during the COVID stage and after COVID
there was a lot of burnout in nurses just because
of high stress. I know we didn't have the huge
numbers that came through the hospital like they did overseas,
and I know from colleagues overseas it was horrendous.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
What was the.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Tipping point for you to realize that you were burnt out?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I guess, to be honest, I saw it coming months
in advance, and I felt it building, and I felt
like I wasn't in control of my work schedule, which
I was, but I didn't feel in control of it,
like I had commitments to clients that I needed to
see through and deliver, and I didn't feel like I
could take the break that I knew that I needed
and several months later, four or five months later, I
(03:45):
was sitting outside of Coals with a shopping trolley full
of groceries, and I sat on a bench and I realized,
I'm cooked. I'm done. I've got nothing left. And I
rang my mentor and said to him, I've got a problem.
I'm at Coal's with my groceries and I don't think
I can get home.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
What one little thing happened that made you just tipped
you over the age.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I don't think it's ever one little thing. I think
I was traveling relentlessly. I was been through a divorce,
so I was financially having to take care of myself,
and I was really over committed in my work, traveling
every week of the month, and I'd moved house to Brisbane,
and all of that I think just added up. Maybe
(04:31):
the straw that broke the camel's back was the trip
to Cohole's. I don't know, but I I knew I was.
I was depleted. Like I wasn't depressed. I was interested.
Actually at the time, I thought, what is this burnout?
And I googled it and the World Health Organization has
a definition of burnout, and just to put it in
very high level summary terms. It's when you're depleted, not depressed,
(04:57):
just depleted. There's nothing left in the tank. Your energy
is so low you're not productive. So even when I
opened the laptop and want to to work, I couldn't.
It was like the brain wasn't working or computing. You
start to care less. It's kind of like you run
out of fs to give, if I can say that,
And you might want to give them, but they've got
none left to give. And so it's that depletion, the
(05:19):
lack of productivity and just the inability to care anymore
that characterizes burnout in their definition, And that really resonated
with me. So by the time I did get home
and unload my groceries, and I took a few weeks off,
and then I realized that's not going to do it.
Taking a few weeks off after deep burnout didn't even
(05:41):
touch the sides of healing and recovery. And it's taken
me four years down the track now and I would
say I'm still in recovery from burnout. Wow, I'm far
more productive. I'm probably back at full capacity, but I
work and live far differently now as a result of
that experience.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So you are very aware of triggers and how you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, exercise, yes, diet, look, yes, it's all those things
like if you're burning out now, sure rest, eat a vegetable,
go for a walk in the sunshine, get some water
on board, drink a little less right, do those things
for sure. But for me, my biggest realization through this
(06:24):
process was that's all surface level stuff. What's underneath that
is your pattern of thinking and being at work and
how you approach work and how you busy yourself with work.
In my case, I speak for myself. I busied myself
with work so that I didn't have to face some
(06:44):
deeper issues that were going on. You know, in my
history and in my life, seemed like the easiest thing
to do was to get busy with work until I
burned myself out doing that. So you know, when you
talk about exercise and healthy living, sure do that, it's
a no brainer. But underneath that, you can take a break,
you can take a holiday, you can eat well, but
(07:06):
if you return to work and work in the same
pattern that you did that burned you out, you'll just
get back there quicker.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
What do you recommend for nurses who don't have those options,
Like they have to go to work, they have to
do the shift work they're employed to do, you know,
three four days a week, full time. How do you
manage that? Then, if you're a shift worker.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I think if you're still able to work even though
you've got a high pressure, fast paced environment, you've got
to address your internal dialogue to allow yourself some grace
and compassion and to be present in the experience so
that you're kind to yourself in that testing experience. Because
I think what we can do is harden ourselves to
(07:48):
our work environment, harden our minds, harden our hearts, harden
professional relationships just to get through the shift, and I
think over time that does not contribute to a person's
health and well being. It's kind of like you can't
do anything about the external environment, the environment outside of you.
You're still going to be on shift in a caring
(08:10):
situation with multiple people who need you at one time,
with reports and administration to take care of all of
that continues. What you can change is the internal dialogue
that you have with yourself, and it needs to be
one of kindness and compassion and grace.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I know from experience, the other route is so much
easier to take than being kind to yourself. You know,
we beat ourselves up, burnout, depression, anxiety, and the shame
around the word psychiatric. For me, there shouldn't be, but
it's visceral, like you nearly recoil when you hear the
word psychiatric if you've been down that pathway. I just
(08:47):
find it one of those words that just stereotypically shareful,
being kind and caring for yourself and that internal dialogue
is really hard when you've come from a place where
you just overworked, underappreciated, have had some depression, anxiety, stress.
I mean, my mind goes straight to emergency department and
(09:07):
what those guys deal with on a day to day,
out our minute to minute basis. How do you mitigate
those issues around self talk and looking after yourself? And
I don't know, it's really tough well and I don't
think they're doing it well.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
I have done some consulting in hospitals where I've worked
with both management of the hospital and with the nurses
who manage the teams on the boards. I think there
are a couple of components to how to deal with this,
you know, because I'm a leadership coach. Of course, I'm
going to say leadership skills. You've got to be leading yourself.
(09:43):
If you're a leader, you've got to be leading yourself
well before you can lead anyone else well with credibility. Right.
The second thing would be to build a functional and constructive,
healthy team. That's your responsibility. And if you're on a team,
if you're not in a leadership position, then your responsibility
(10:04):
is to show in a way that contributes to being
constructive and functional. And perhaps you know just because your
team is playing not a great standard or a lower
standard than that right now, and doesn't mean you need
to fall into that as well. You need to maintain
your own integrity and identity and sense of yourself in this.
(10:24):
And so when you feel like you're starting to lose
some of your humanity at work, I think it's a
moment for pause as far as your day to day experience. Again,
I'm not a nurse, so I won't preach, but I
can let you know a strategy that I've personally used,
(10:45):
and that's to just simply be present in the moment
that we're in. You know, we're both having a busy
day to day. We've got lots of things going on
in our world. But right now I'm allowing myself the
experience of being fully present here with you, and I
find that quite calming and soothing. There's some acceptance. I
(11:07):
think if you're a nurse on a water on a
shift that Okay, I'm here right now helping the person
that's in front of me, and I'm doing my best,
and then I'm going to go and help the next person.
The better I take care of myself in the process.
And I know nurses who don't go to the toilet
or eat, you know, throughout the course of their shift.
(11:28):
And you know, we can all suffer from that in
our professional lives to some degree. But the better you
take care of yourself, the better you're able to show
up constructive and functional for your team, for your patients
or clients.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
In my case, it's nearly like a badge of honor.
This is go I have an eving to the toilet today.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
I think as a coach, I'm encouraging people to be
in full self responsibility. So that means that even when
we're employed, even when we don't have our own businesses,
we don't get to blame the people around us for
how we show up, we can always remember our choice
to show up as constructive and functional as we can
(12:08):
be in this moment. And if that means I remember
to drink some water and go to the bathroom and
eat something and just sit down for a moment or two,
even if it is on the toilet, to compose yourself
guaranteed quiet time comes with me. Just to take those
little moments for yourself, to preserve your groundedness and scentsiveness
(12:34):
and internal calm throughout the day, even when you're what's
going on in your external environment is chaos, and that's
you in full self responsibility for taking care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I just completed a course with doctor Wendy Macintosh about
boundaries and ethics, and it was brilliant. She talks about
the limbic system and how it controls you know, stress, anxiety,
and how controlled breath is so underutilized but so powerful.
You know, the box, the box breathing, box breathing is
(13:06):
so good, but we forget to do it.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And the way I always explained to me, and the
way I teach my clients is that you would inhale
for say, account of four, hold for account of four,
exhale for account of four and then hold for another
count of four before you inhale again from account of four,
and you repeat that cycle, and you can imagine in
your mind that you're creating a box shape for that
(13:30):
count of four. And what that does is allows you
to spend less time breathing in. It creates that anxious
state and more time being present and through your exhale.
And I'm no doctor or scientist, but I understand that
this activates within your nervous system a calming response.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
In summary makes such a difference, and it makes you
present in the moment because you can't think of anything else.
You've got to think of that. They suggest that in
high stress situations, if you can take the time even
to do a couple of those cycles, it brings that
racing heart down, the adrenaline drops, It helps you make
(14:13):
a better decision in a really stressful moment.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
You can feel it in your body, that visceral relaxation.
I think the trick is to remember to do it.
I prefer to think about how can I tune into
the signals of my body and to be alert to
those that if I'm feeling tightness in my chest or
a bit sick in my tummy, or if I've got
tension in my jaw or my shoulders or a headache,
how can I be observant and tuned into those signals
(14:39):
and allow that to be informing my response. So I'm
really honoring the signals from my body, because when you
think about it, it was the fact that we weren't
doing that that led us into burnout.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
My dream would be to have my own art studio,
have a kiln out the back, you know, an easel
at the front, the dog running around, and just do
art and craft like seriously, that to me would heaven.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Well, now that you've expressed it and put it out
in the world, you're a step closer to that.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
We can only hope. It's an interesting thing how we
as nurses as givers and here I've always thought of
myself as a healer. We feel like we're not being
good nurses if we're not.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I love that. Yeah, thank you for saying that out loud.
I'm not being a good nurse unless I'm giving. Logically,
that doesn't sound right when you say it out loud,
but emotionally, there's all sorts of things that drive nurses
into this caring profession. As a patient, I've met nurses
across the spectrum of like really beautifully present and caring
(15:43):
through to hardened and treating me like a number in
a machine. And as a consultant in hospitals working with
leadership teams, I see nurses deploying those strategies as coping
mechanisms because they're fatigued by showing so much compassion and
drawing on that empty cup. And some of the models
(16:06):
and frames that I teach in leadership coaching and on
the leadership programs are all about how can I be
in full self responsibility for filling my own cup, not
expecting my boss to do it, not expecting my organization
to do it, although would be nice if they offered
some more support, but how do I be more in
charge of my own experience? And it's everything from what
(16:29):
we've discussed, taking the breaks in the healthy food, but
just allowing yourself full presence in the moment.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I worry that we're going to end up going down
that whole American insurance healthcare. I am someone that believes
there should be free healthcare for all. I'm also realistic
enough to realize how much it costs because I run
my own clinic, and I know how much it costs
every week to keep those doors open from insurance laser licensing.
(16:55):
It is expensive, so I can only imagine how much
it costs to keep a major hospital open. So I
have no doubt that at some stack we're all don't
have to pay for healthcare in some way or another.
I don't think it can be free forever.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
If you want to maintain a good organizational culture, then
you've got to consider the realities of those commercial drivers
and constraints with the human factors. And I feel like
that's where we're possibly a little out of balance in
the workplace. At the moment. We're quite concerned with compliance
and profitability, and if we have to dehumanize the experience
(17:35):
of work to achieve that, then that's what we do.
And I think that that will have a consequence not
just for individuals in the workplace, but for the overall
experience of work in the long term.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I thought, just pop into my head, and you might
be able to sort of give us a little bit
of an idea, your opinion within the aesthetic space where
I work, cosmic dematology, I as a nurse, don't feel
like I should charge more than the other staff in
my business. However, I've got fifteen years more experience, and
(18:09):
yet because I'm a nurse as practitioner, I feel like
I can't charge more than my team. However, I'll make
down the road who's done two years of injecting? But
is a doctor. I'm not banking doctors. I have some
amazing friends and colleagues that are medical practitioners. He charges
(18:30):
four dollars more a unit for an anti wrinkle treatment.
What is the psyche with that?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Well, he doesn't have the limiting beliefs that you have.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
But why do so many nurses have that?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I think it's human nature. One, you're in a hierarchy
and a hospital environment and nurses iientifically at the top.
So there's that aspect. I think it is also human
nature to have some what we call limiting beliefs. So
as part of my practice as a leadership coach, I
do neurolinguistic programming. Part of that practice is to identify
(19:02):
what are the limiting beliefs that I have. Stories that
I've told myself over and over again so much so
that they've become true for me, whether they're true or not.
How do we start to challenge some of those limiting beliefs.
So for you, there's something underlying there, something deeper around
my worth and my value and my ability to express
(19:25):
that is being constrained by a story of not good enough,
not deserving, you know, don't add enough value. Yeah, what
does it mean if I charge as much as a doctor?
Do I have tickets on myself? Some of these sorts
of beliefs, you know, they're pretty common.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Oh so common in nursing that you know, she thinks
you should be a doctor, or it is such a
tall poppy syndrome.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, and so if you had a belief that was
different to the rest of your team, then you wouldn't
be fitting in. You'd be isolated. You could be you know,
picked on, bullied. You know, it's quite a tribe. What
we call a tribal mentality is that you want to
fit in, and fitting in means that you have those limiting,
subservient beliefs, and that's what you'll do to fit in.
(20:08):
The people that I work with are tired of that mindset.
It's been brought into their awareness one way or the
other that I've got that mindset, the I've got those
beliefs operating and they don't want them anymore. So through
the process of neurolinguistic programming and a particular tool within
that suite called timeline therapy, I'd be looking to understand
(20:30):
what are those limiting beliefs and how do we start
to challenge and diffuse the effect of those limiting beliefs
so that you could replace them with more positive ones.
So you know, why don't you value yourself enough and
charge enough? Well, that's I believe often at the heart
of it, no matter what you put on your pricing schedule,
no matter how good your marketing is or your sales
conversation is, at the end of the day, underneath that,
(20:53):
you've got to believe that you're worth it and feel
aligned and comfortable in what you charge, and that requires
some self awareness and self development. I would say something
I'd noticed about the medical profession, and it's the same
in academia as well and some of the other more
traditional disciplines. When we think about how we develop ourselves
and become more confident and competent so that we can
(21:14):
charge our worth. We do what you've done up until now,
and that's invest in your discipline. In education, within your discipline,
and unless you meet that with a degree of leadership
and personal development, in my experience, then you'll be a
very knowledgeable individual with very poor self awareness, self leadership,
self regulation, and self worth. And so you need to
(21:35):
balance all of your nursing knowledge with the knowledge, the tools,
the theories, concepts, frames, practices that allow you to become
whole feel whole more of the time as a person.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I've gone off and done work on boundaries, ethics as
well as my own professional development. But to round that
all off and to be a really great nurse leader
business owner also should come in and do some work
on leadership skills and personal developed personal development. I'm putting
all of that together.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So that you can be a whole human at work
and a whole human at home. And you're actually the
same human, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So regardless of where you are. So you don't put
on your nursing hat, and you don't or your work
hat and your home hat. That's ange and that's ae
work and ange at home.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I personally have thrown out the idea that I'm going
to turn up as a different human in my professional
environment than I do at home because the transaction cost
of taking my personal head off and putting my work
head on was too tiring. It contributed to the burnout.
It's putting a mask on to go to work, and
I'm just not interested in doing that. So I think
when you can feel whole in your life and you
(22:47):
realize that work is a part of your life and
in that work part of your life, you get to
feel whole there too, and keep all of your humanity
in the work environments. People be going and you're delusional.
Have you been in a hospital? Have you been on
a an, a water on a shift? I can't, I have,
you know, I haven't been a nurse, But of people
there and they're like, this is what we have to
do to survive. And I think if that is your
(23:09):
mode of operating, then you'll get to burn out eventually.
But if you can bring to work a level of
comfort of this is who I am holistically in my life,
and I am someone who takes care of others, and
I'm someone who takes care of myself, and I can
feel integrated and aligned and whole in that, then I'm
going to have a far more sustainable experience of work.
(23:31):
Whose job is it to create that experience? Well, it's
not your boss, although they contribute. It's not your teammates,
although they contribute. It's how you choose to show up
and how much work you're prepared to invest in yourself
to be able to show up in that way.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
It's a bit of a common theme of self betterment,
and you know every other person is on some self
development self. Yes, I know. When I was well with
see I even have trouble saying it anxiety and depression.
I didn't know how sick I was, and now that
I do, now that I'm looking after myself, me coming first,
(24:09):
So getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising downtime, doing my
art comes first. But when you've got no insight and
you think you're doing all these things which I thought
I was, how do you get to that point other
than falling down a black hole.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Look, we've all got a different set of programming in
terms of our genetics and our upbringing, our social conditioning
that inform our sense of our own value. So I
think it's going to be different for every person. For me,
as it turned out, I did have to have that
burnout experience to understand how anchored I was to achievement
(24:47):
as a source of love. That was it for me.
If I'm not achieving, I'm not worthy and lovable. For nurses,
it could be more the story of if I'm not
giving and caring for others, then I have no value
in the world. Now, when I say that out loud,
it sounds ridiculous, but this is often the deeply held belief.
One of the big themes that comes through my coaching
(25:08):
is that I wanted detach your identity and your sense
of value from what you do. They're unrelated, they're not linked.
You think about your children who were born as perfect
little chubby babies, regardless of whether they brought home an
ABZ hopefully not a D or E. But even if
they did on their report card, they had a value.
(25:31):
Whether they scored a goal on the weekend, or whether
they came first in the running race. You know, whether
they were polite to mister and missus Smith at the shops.
They actually still have an innate value as humans that
they were born with and that you want to see
them hold retain throughout their lives. No matter how much
they do or don't achieve today, how much they do
or don't help or serve, they have a value as humans,
(25:53):
and we forget that at work, and we start to
connect our identity and sense of who we are to
what we do, and we're acknowledged for it, rewarded for
it by society and parents and teachers and bosses so on.
We get paid different values for it. I think when
we start to remember that as a human, I have
(26:13):
an innate value I was born with. It can't change
depending on how much I serve today or how much
I achieved today. And there's freedom in that. There's freedom
to remember that actually I can sort of tap back
into my own voice and that it has a value
and the signals from my body and I can start
to honor that. And this is self responsibility. And when
(26:36):
I say self responsibility, I don't mean you need to
be harder on yourself and more disciplined and committed. Well,
all of that just makes me want to be sick, right.
It's not tenderness, nurses or anyone for anyone. Self responsibility
is how do I show up whole and aligned and
honor myself so that I can serve and that I
(26:59):
can be an example and that I can be a
good contributor in the world and a good human in
the world unless I'm doing that from an aligned place,
that I'm not in full integrity and I'm having to
put a mask on to do it. People, whether they
can voice it or not, they notice as you approach
a person in a hallway, their central nervous system will
tell them whether or not you're a safe person to
(27:20):
be around, whether you're in a good mood, whether you've
got good intent, good energy. You know, whether you're going
to be a threat to them. Absolutely, our nervous systems
tell us that. And so unless you're in anything but
full integrity and alignment in your service to the world,
other people will notice that as well. Do you need
to burn out to have those insights? Well, I'm talking
(27:41):
about it now, but you know, keen to educate the
world about it. But frankly, sometimes you've got to have
that experience for you to stop long enough to learn
the lessons and integrate them in your life in that way.
I think burnout has been a blessing for me. I
didn't have the choice to stop. I had to stop
and learn those lessons because, believe me, I was a
(28:02):
different person before burnout. Operate very differently.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I feel that nursing is and has always been very
much part of my identity. That's why I like to
say I'm a healer, not so much a nurse, because
I've always looked at myself as healing, helping. I don't
know touch for I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
How you've turned that inward. You turn it outwards to others,
and now you've turned it inward. And what alignment you're
creating through that experience?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
What advice would you give to nurses or health professionals
that are feeling like they're getting close to burnout but
can't afford not to work and have to shower up
every day and have no sick leave left.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
I would say, hold this one question in your mind,
and that is what is the most nurturing nourishing thing
I can do for myself today? Is it to make
sure I visit the bathroom while I'm on my shift?
Is it to make sure that I take a break
(29:05):
and eat something. Is it that I maybe don't pour
that glass of wine or that extra glass of wine
when I get home tonight? Is it that I stay hydrated,
that I allow myself to be present in this moment
of work and to be fully accepting of my experience,
that I am at work right now, and there's just
a level of acceptance around that so that I can
(29:28):
be fully present here and now. There's so many different
ways that we can extend ourselves care and the way
to know what to do is to tune into your
own body and ask, what is that most nurturing, nourishing
thing I can do for myself right now? Do that,
rinse and repeat every day until you start to build
up a practice, until it starts to become more habitual,
(29:51):
that caring for yourself is part of your daily approach
to life and work.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
You've got to show up for yourself because you can't
show up for others if you don't show up for yourself.
So well summarized, Yeah, we're too from here for you
now moving forward.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Burnout has been an interesting period, like it's been a
force four years now. It's only in the last four
to six months that I have felt safe to have
career goals again. I wasn't interested in them because I
was too busy healing and recovering and recharging. So now
I've got some goals. From the perspective of leadership coaching
and management consulting, I'm working with change leaders who are
(30:31):
making a difference in issues of sustainable development. So anyone
that's aligned with the sustainable development goals of the United
Nations that are working in environmental social governance change. I
work with scientists, engineers, like good people doing good things
in the world. I want to help them have that
aligned experience of having the insights match the outsides. I'm
(30:55):
talking to a lot of them on the Secret Life
of leaders podcast, through my consulting, through leadership programs, and
I really just want to lean in to working with
people with that good intent so that they can have
a better, more impactful, more powerful experience of leadership and
make a bigger difference in the world.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
If there's one thing you want to share today that
relates back to tenderness for nurses, So if you were
talking to a group of nurses, what is the one
thing you would recommend they try and do on a
daily basis.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
I would say, have enough grace and compassion for yourself
so you can make the insides much the outsides, so
that your grace and tenderness and compassion care for yourself.
The way that you bring that to the world is
just an extension of what you're doing for yourself. So
you can be aligned in the experience of caring for others. Yeah,
(31:50):
instead of giving from an empty cop love.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Thank you so much for coming in. I have got
so much out of today with you and let's hope
we get your backcine.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah, thank you so much for having things sane.
Appolgie Production. Hi, my name's beck Woodbine and welcome to
Tenderness for Nurses.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Do you need to burn out to have those insights?
While I'm talking about it now? But you know, came
to educate the world about it, but.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I didn't want anyone to know that I was so unwell.
I don't know when it was ever okay to yell
or scream or abuse somebody. We need to have support
and know where to look for support and know how
to look after ourselves, not just professionally, but personally as well.
It was quite profound and I learned a lot from
(00:45):
that one action.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Everyone, Welcome to Tenderness for Nurses. Today, we have the
lovely guest and friend of mine and Coney, who owns
and runs equenty leadership and learning business. She's here today
to chat to us about leadership but also burnout, which
has had a very personally experienced with and I have to.
(01:09):
So we're going to chat through what it is, how
you can help prevent it if you're at that stage,
what you can do to promote your wellness and health,
and it's something I think we as nurses all need
to be very aware of with burnout especially in very
high stress situations, but also how we can be good
leaders to each other within the nursing environment. So thanks
(01:32):
Ange for coming in.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I really appreciate it. Thanks for inviting me. It's my
pleasure give us a little.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Bit of a rundown on you and what you do.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I am a leadership coach and management consultant, and that
means I'm working every day with leaders at some level
from the front line right through to the senior executive,
who are feeling the pressure to deliver in the business environment,
and they're trying to deliver results for their organization and
as well as look after their personal wellbeing and be
(02:03):
good leaders in the process.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Since COVID, do you think it's got worse to deliver
more for less.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I think the dynamics of work and the experience of
work has changed. So we're all aware that we now
have more flexible ways of working and that's challenged some
of the more traditional leaders, although for nurses, you still
need to turn up in the hospital and other care environments,
and so you've had less flexibility and perhaps more pressure
(02:30):
in your industry than other industries that have felt the
relief of working from home and the relief of flexible
hours and the blending of work and life in a
more integrated way.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I think people have realized how much money they can
save not communing and time and energy time and but yeah,
you're right. In the hospital setting and healthcare, they didn't
have that opportunity. In fact, I think it got more stressful.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, I would imagine.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So you yourself have had and spoken quite openly about burnout.
And I know during the COVID stage and after COVID
there was a lot of burnout in nurses just because
of high stress. I know we didn't have the huge
numbers that came through the hospital like they did overseas,
and I know from colleagues overseas it was horrendous.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
What was the.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Tipping point for you to realize that you were burnt out?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I guess, to be honest, I saw it coming months
in advance, and I felt it building, and I felt
like I wasn't in control of my work schedule, which
I was, but I didn't feel in control of it,
like I had commitments to clients that I needed to
see through and deliver, and I didn't feel like I
could take the break that I knew that I needed
and several months later, four or five months later, I
(03:45):
was sitting outside of Coals with a shopping trolley full
of groceries, and I sat on a bench and I realized,
I'm cooked. I'm done. I've got nothing left. And I
rang my mentor and said to him, I've got a problem.
I'm at Coal's with my groceries and I don't think
I can get home.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
What one little thing happened that made you just tipped
you over the age.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I don't think it's ever one little thing. I think
I was traveling relentlessly. I was been through a divorce,
so I was financially having to take care of myself,
and I was really over committed in my work, traveling
every week of the month, and I'd moved house to Brisbane,
and all of that I think just added up. Maybe
(04:31):
the straw that broke the camel's back was the trip
to Cohole's. I don't know, but I I knew I was.
I was depleted. Like I wasn't depressed. I was interested.
Actually at the time, I thought, what is this burnout?
And I googled it and the World Health Organization has
a definition of burnout, and just to put it in
very high level summary terms. It's when you're depleted, not depressed,
(04:57):
just depleted. There's nothing left in the tank. Your energy
is so low you're not productive. So even when I
opened the laptop and want to to work, I couldn't.
It was like the brain wasn't working or computing. You
start to care less. It's kind of like you run
out of fs to give, if I can say that,
And you might want to give them, but they've got
none left to give. And so it's that depletion, the
(05:19):
lack of productivity and just the inability to care anymore
that characterizes burnout in their definition, And that really resonated
with me. So by the time I did get home
and unload my groceries, and I took a few weeks off,
and then I realized that's not going to do it.
Taking a few weeks off after deep burnout didn't even
(05:41):
touch the sides of healing and recovery. And it's taken
me four years down the track now and I would
say I'm still in recovery from burnout. Wow, I'm far
more productive. I'm probably back at full capacity, but I
work and live far differently now as a result of
that experience.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So you are very aware of triggers and how you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, exercise, yes, diet, look, yes, it's all those things
like if you're burning out now, sure rest, eat a vegetable,
go for a walk in the sunshine, get some water
on board, drink a little less right, do those things
for sure. But for me, my biggest realization through this
(06:24):
process was that's all surface level stuff. What's underneath that
is your pattern of thinking and being at work and
how you approach work and how you busy yourself with work.
In my case, I speak for myself. I busied myself
with work so that I didn't have to face some
(06:44):
deeper issues that were going on. You know, in my
history and in my life, seemed like the easiest thing
to do was to get busy with work until I
burned myself out doing that. So you know, when you
talk about exercise and healthy living, sure do that, it's
a no brainer. But underneath that, you can take a break,
you can take a holiday, you can eat well, but
(07:06):
if you return to work and work in the same
pattern that you did that burned you out, you'll just
get back there quicker.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
What do you recommend for nurses who don't have those options,
Like they have to go to work, they have to
do the shift work they're employed to do, you know,
three four days a week, full time. How do you
manage that? Then, if you're a shift worker.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I think if you're still able to work even though
you've got a high pressure, fast paced environment, you've got
to address your internal dialogue to allow yourself some grace
and compassion and to be present in the experience so
that you're kind to yourself in that testing experience. Because
I think what we can do is harden ourselves to
(07:48):
our work environment, harden our minds, harden our hearts, harden
professional relationships just to get through the shift, and I
think over time that does not contribute to a person's
health and well being. It's kind of like you can't
do anything about the external environment, the environment outside of you.
You're still going to be on shift in a caring
(08:10):
situation with multiple people who need you at one time,
with reports and administration to take care of all of
that continues. What you can change is the internal dialogue
that you have with yourself, and it needs to be
one of kindness and compassion and grace.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I know from experience, the other route is so much
easier to take than being kind to yourself. You know,
we beat ourselves up, burnout, depression, anxiety, and the shame
around the word psychiatric. For me, there shouldn't be, but
it's visceral, like you nearly recoil when you hear the
word psychiatric if you've been down that pathway. I just
(08:47):
find it one of those words that just stereotypically shareful,
being kind and caring for yourself and that internal dialogue
is really hard when you've come from a place where
you just overworked, underappreciated, have had some depression, anxiety, stress.
I mean, my mind goes straight to emergency department and
(09:07):
what those guys deal with on a day to day,
out our minute to minute basis. How do you mitigate
those issues around self talk and looking after yourself? And
I don't know, it's really tough well and I don't
think they're doing it well.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
I have done some consulting in hospitals where I've worked
with both management of the hospital and with the nurses
who manage the teams on the boards. I think there
are a couple of components to how to deal with this,
you know, because I'm a leadership coach. Of course, I'm
going to say leadership skills. You've got to be leading yourself.
(09:43):
If you're a leader, you've got to be leading yourself
well before you can lead anyone else well with credibility. Right.
The second thing would be to build a functional and constructive,
healthy team. That's your responsibility. And if you're on a team,
if you're not in a leadership position, then your responsibility
(10:04):
is to show in a way that contributes to being
constructive and functional. And perhaps you know just because your
team is playing not a great standard or a lower
standard than that right now, and doesn't mean you need
to fall into that as well. You need to maintain
your own integrity and identity and sense of yourself in this.
(10:24):
And so when you feel like you're starting to lose
some of your humanity at work, I think it's a
moment for pause as far as your day to day experience. Again,
I'm not a nurse, so I won't preach, but I
can let you know a strategy that I've personally used,
(10:45):
and that's to just simply be present in the moment
that we're in. You know, we're both having a busy
day to day. We've got lots of things going on
in our world. But right now I'm allowing myself the
experience of being fully present here with you, and I
find that quite calming and soothing. There's some acceptance. I
(11:07):
think if you're a nurse on a water on a
shift that Okay, I'm here right now helping the person
that's in front of me, and I'm doing my best,
and then I'm going to go and help the next person.
The better I take care of myself in the process.
And I know nurses who don't go to the toilet
or eat, you know, throughout the course of their shift.
(11:28):
And you know, we can all suffer from that in
our professional lives to some degree. But the better you
take care of yourself, the better you're able to show
up constructive and functional for your team, for your patients
or clients.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
In my case, it's nearly like a badge of honor.
This is go I have an eving to the toilet today.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
I think as a coach, I'm encouraging people to be
in full self responsibility. So that means that even when
we're employed, even when we don't have our own businesses,
we don't get to blame the people around us for
how we show up, we can always remember our choice
to show up as constructive and functional as we can
(12:08):
be in this moment. And if that means I remember
to drink some water and go to the bathroom and
eat something and just sit down for a moment or two,
even if it is on the toilet, to compose yourself
guaranteed quiet time comes with me. Just to take those
little moments for yourself, to preserve your groundedness and scentsiveness
(12:34):
and internal calm throughout the day, even when you're what's
going on in your external environment is chaos, and that's
you in full self responsibility for taking care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I just completed a course with doctor Wendy Macintosh about
boundaries and ethics, and it was brilliant. She talks about
the limbic system and how it controls you know, stress, anxiety,
and how controlled breath is so underutilized but so powerful.
You know, the box, the box breathing, box breathing is
(13:06):
so good, but we forget to do it.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And the way I always explained to me, and the
way I teach my clients is that you would inhale
for say, account of four, hold for account of four,
exhale for account of four and then hold for another
count of four before you inhale again from account of four,
and you repeat that cycle, and you can imagine in
your mind that you're creating a box shape for that
(13:30):
count of four. And what that does is allows you
to spend less time breathing in. It creates that anxious
state and more time being present and through your exhale.
And I'm no doctor or scientist, but I understand that
this activates within your nervous system a calming response.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
In summary makes such a difference, and it makes you
present in the moment because you can't think of anything else.
You've got to think of that. They suggest that in
high stress situations, if you can take the time even
to do a couple of those cycles, it brings that
racing heart down, the adrenaline drops, It helps you make
(14:13):
a better decision in a really stressful moment.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
You can feel it in your body, that visceral relaxation.
I think the trick is to remember to do it.
I prefer to think about how can I tune into
the signals of my body and to be alert to
those that if I'm feeling tightness in my chest or
a bit sick in my tummy, or if I've got
tension in my jaw or my shoulders or a headache,
how can I be observant and tuned into those signals
(14:39):
and allow that to be informing my response. So I'm
really honoring the signals from my body, because when you
think about it, it was the fact that we weren't
doing that that led us into burnout.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
My dream would be to have my own art studio,
have a kiln out the back, you know, an easel
at the front, the dog running around, and just do
art and craft like seriously, that to me would heaven.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Well, now that you've expressed it and put it out
in the world, you're a step closer to that.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
We can only hope. It's an interesting thing how we
as nurses as givers and here I've always thought of
myself as a healer. We feel like we're not being
good nurses if we're not.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I love that. Yeah, thank you for saying that out loud.
I'm not being a good nurse unless I'm giving. Logically,
that doesn't sound right when you say it out loud,
but emotionally, there's all sorts of things that drive nurses
into this caring profession. As a patient, I've met nurses
across the spectrum of like really beautifully present and caring
(15:43):
through to hardened and treating me like a number in
a machine. And as a consultant in hospitals working with
leadership teams, I see nurses deploying those strategies as coping
mechanisms because they're fatigued by showing so much compassion and
drawing on that empty cup. And some of the models
(16:06):
and frames that I teach in leadership coaching and on
the leadership programs are all about how can I be
in full self responsibility for filling my own cup, not
expecting my boss to do it, not expecting my organization
to do it, although would be nice if they offered
some more support, but how do I be more in
charge of my own experience? And it's everything from what
(16:29):
we've discussed, taking the breaks in the healthy food, but
just allowing yourself full presence in the moment.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I worry that we're going to end up going down
that whole American insurance healthcare. I am someone that believes
there should be free healthcare for all. I'm also realistic
enough to realize how much it costs because I run
my own clinic, and I know how much it costs
every week to keep those doors open from insurance laser licensing.
(16:55):
It is expensive, so I can only imagine how much
it costs to keep a major hospital open. So I
have no doubt that at some stack we're all don't
have to pay for healthcare in some way or another.
I don't think it can be free forever.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
If you want to maintain a good organizational culture, then
you've got to consider the realities of those commercial drivers
and constraints with the human factors. And I feel like
that's where we're possibly a little out of balance in
the workplace. At the moment. We're quite concerned with compliance
and profitability, and if we have to dehumanize the experience
(17:35):
of work to achieve that, then that's what we do.
And I think that that will have a consequence not
just for individuals in the workplace, but for the overall
experience of work in the long term.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I thought, just pop into my head, and you might
be able to sort of give us a little bit
of an idea, your opinion within the aesthetic space where
I work, cosmic dematology, I as a nurse, don't feel
like I should charge more than the other staff in
my business. However, I've got fifteen years more experience, and
(18:09):
yet because I'm a nurse as practitioner, I feel like
I can't charge more than my team. However, I'll make
down the road who's done two years of injecting? But
is a doctor. I'm not banking doctors. I have some
amazing friends and colleagues that are medical practitioners. He charges
(18:30):
four dollars more a unit for an anti wrinkle treatment.
What is the psyche with that?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Well, he doesn't have the limiting beliefs that you have.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
But why do so many nurses have that?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I think it's human nature. One, you're in a hierarchy
and a hospital environment and nurses iientifically at the top.
So there's that aspect. I think it is also human
nature to have some what we call limiting beliefs. So
as part of my practice as a leadership coach, I
do neurolinguistic programming. Part of that practice is to identify
(19:02):
what are the limiting beliefs that I have. Stories that
I've told myself over and over again so much so
that they've become true for me, whether they're true or not.
How do we start to challenge some of those limiting beliefs.
So for you, there's something underlying there, something deeper around
my worth and my value and my ability to express
(19:25):
that is being constrained by a story of not good enough,
not deserving, you know, don't add enough value. Yeah, what
does it mean if I charge as much as a doctor?
Do I have tickets on myself? Some of these sorts
of beliefs, you know, they're pretty common.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Oh so common in nursing that you know, she thinks
you should be a doctor, or it is such a
tall poppy syndrome.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, and so if you had a belief that was
different to the rest of your team, then you wouldn't
be fitting in. You'd be isolated. You could be you know,
picked on, bullied. You know, it's quite a tribe. What
we call a tribal mentality is that you want to
fit in, and fitting in means that you have those limiting,
subservient beliefs, and that's what you'll do to fit in.
(20:08):
The people that I work with are tired of that mindset.
It's been brought into their awareness one way or the
other that I've got that mindset, the I've got those
beliefs operating and they don't want them anymore. So through
the process of neurolinguistic programming and a particular tool within
that suite called timeline therapy, I'd be looking to understand
(20:30):
what are those limiting beliefs and how do we start
to challenge and diffuse the effect of those limiting beliefs
so that you could replace them with more positive ones.
So you know, why don't you value yourself enough and
charge enough? Well, that's I believe often at the heart
of it, no matter what you put on your pricing schedule,
no matter how good your marketing is or your sales
conversation is, at the end of the day, underneath that,
(20:53):
you've got to believe that you're worth it and feel
aligned and comfortable in what you charge, and that requires
some self awareness and self development. I would say something
I'd noticed about the medical profession, and it's the same
in academia as well and some of the other more
traditional disciplines. When we think about how we develop ourselves
and become more confident and competent so that we can
(21:14):
charge our worth. We do what you've done up until now,
and that's invest in your discipline. In education, within your discipline,
and unless you meet that with a degree of leadership
and personal development, in my experience, then you'll be a
very knowledgeable individual with very poor self awareness, self leadership,
self regulation, and self worth. And so you need to
(21:35):
balance all of your nursing knowledge with the knowledge, the tools,
the theories, concepts, frames, practices that allow you to become
whole feel whole more of the time as a person.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I've gone off and done work on boundaries, ethics as
well as my own professional development. But to round that
all off and to be a really great nurse leader
business owner also should come in and do some work
on leadership skills and personal developed personal development. I'm putting
all of that together.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So that you can be a whole human at work
and a whole human at home. And you're actually the
same human, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So regardless of where you are. So you don't put
on your nursing hat, and you don't or your work
hat and your home hat. That's ange and that's ae
work and ange at home.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I personally have thrown out the idea that I'm going
to turn up as a different human in my professional
environment than I do at home because the transaction cost
of taking my personal head off and putting my work
head on was too tiring. It contributed to the burnout.
It's putting a mask on to go to work, and
I'm just not interested in doing that. So I think
when you can feel whole in your life and you
(22:47):
realize that work is a part of your life and
in that work part of your life, you get to
feel whole there too, and keep all of your humanity
in the work environments. People be going and you're delusional.
Have you been in a hospital? Have you been on
a an, a water on a shift? I can't, I have,
you know, I haven't been a nurse, But of people
there and they're like, this is what we have to
do to survive. And I think if that is your
(23:09):
mode of operating, then you'll get to burn out eventually.
But if you can bring to work a level of
comfort of this is who I am holistically in my life,
and I am someone who takes care of others, and
I'm someone who takes care of myself, and I can
feel integrated and aligned and whole in that, then I'm
going to have a far more sustainable experience of work.
(23:31):
Whose job is it to create that experience? Well, it's
not your boss, although they contribute. It's not your teammates,
although they contribute. It's how you choose to show up
and how much work you're prepared to invest in yourself
to be able to show up in that way.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
It's a bit of a common theme of self betterment,
and you know every other person is on some self
development self. Yes, I know. When I was well with
see I even have trouble saying it anxiety and depression.
I didn't know how sick I was, and now that
I do, now that I'm looking after myself, me coming first,
(24:09):
So getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising downtime, doing my
art comes first. But when you've got no insight and
you think you're doing all these things which I thought
I was, how do you get to that point other
than falling down a black hole.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Look, we've all got a different set of programming in
terms of our genetics and our upbringing, our social conditioning
that inform our sense of our own value. So I
think it's going to be different for every person. For me,
as it turned out, I did have to have that
burnout experience to understand how anchored I was to achievement
(24:47):
as a source of love. That was it for me.
If I'm not achieving, I'm not worthy and lovable. For nurses,
it could be more the story of if I'm not
giving and caring for others, then I have no value
in the world. Now, when I say that out loud,
it sounds ridiculous, but this is often the deeply held belief.
One of the big themes that comes through my coaching
(25:08):
is that I wanted detach your identity and your sense
of value from what you do. They're unrelated, they're not linked.
You think about your children who were born as perfect
little chubby babies, regardless of whether they brought home an
ABZ hopefully not a D or E. But even if
they did on their report card, they had a value.
(25:31):
Whether they scored a goal on the weekend, or whether
they came first in the running race. You know, whether
they were polite to mister and missus Smith at the shops.
They actually still have an innate value as humans that
they were born with and that you want to see
them hold retain throughout their lives. No matter how much
they do or don't achieve today, how much they do
or don't help or serve, they have a value as humans,
(25:53):
and we forget that at work, and we start to
connect our identity and sense of who we are to
what we do, and we're acknowledged for it, rewarded for
it by society and parents and teachers and bosses so on.
We get paid different values for it. I think when
we start to remember that as a human, I have
(26:13):
an innate value I was born with. It can't change
depending on how much I serve today or how much
I achieved today. And there's freedom in that. There's freedom
to remember that actually I can sort of tap back
into my own voice and that it has a value
and the signals from my body and I can start
to honor that. And this is self responsibility. And when
(26:36):
I say self responsibility, I don't mean you need to
be harder on yourself and more disciplined and committed. Well,
all of that just makes me want to be sick, right.
It's not tenderness, nurses or anyone for anyone. Self responsibility
is how do I show up whole and aligned and
honor myself so that I can serve and that I
(26:59):
can be an example and that I can be a
good contributor in the world and a good human in
the world unless I'm doing that from an aligned place,
that I'm not in full integrity and I'm having to
put a mask on to do it. People, whether they
can voice it or not, they notice as you approach
a person in a hallway, their central nervous system will
tell them whether or not you're a safe person to
(27:20):
be around, whether you're in a good mood, whether you've
got good intent, good energy. You know, whether you're going
to be a threat to them. Absolutely, our nervous systems
tell us that. And so unless you're in anything but
full integrity and alignment in your service to the world,
other people will notice that as well. Do you need
to burn out to have those insights? Well, I'm talking
(27:41):
about it now, but you know, keen to educate the
world about it. But frankly, sometimes you've got to have
that experience for you to stop long enough to learn
the lessons and integrate them in your life in that way.
I think burnout has been a blessing for me. I
didn't have the choice to stop. I had to stop
and learn those lessons because, believe me, I was a
(28:02):
different person before burnout. Operate very differently.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I feel that nursing is and has always been very
much part of my identity. That's why I like to
say I'm a healer, not so much a nurse, because
I've always looked at myself as healing, helping. I don't
know touch for I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
How you've turned that inward. You turn it outwards to others,
and now you've turned it inward. And what alignment you're
creating through that experience?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
What advice would you give to nurses or health professionals
that are feeling like they're getting close to burnout but
can't afford not to work and have to shower up
every day and have no sick leave left.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
I would say, hold this one question in your mind,
and that is what is the most nurturing nourishing thing
I can do for myself today? Is it to make
sure I visit the bathroom while I'm on my shift?
Is it to make sure that I take a break
(29:05):
and eat something. Is it that I maybe don't pour
that glass of wine or that extra glass of wine
when I get home tonight? Is it that I stay hydrated,
that I allow myself to be present in this moment
of work and to be fully accepting of my experience,
that I am at work right now, and there's just
a level of acceptance around that so that I can
(29:28):
be fully present here and now. There's so many different
ways that we can extend ourselves care and the way
to know what to do is to tune into your
own body and ask, what is that most nurturing, nourishing
thing I can do for myself right now? Do that,
rinse and repeat every day until you start to build
up a practice, until it starts to become more habitual,
(29:51):
that caring for yourself is part of your daily approach
to life and work.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
You've got to show up for yourself because you can't
show up for others if you don't show up for yourself.
So well summarized, Yeah, we're too from here for you
now moving forward.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Burnout has been an interesting period, like it's been a
force four years now. It's only in the last four
to six months that I have felt safe to have
career goals again. I wasn't interested in them because I
was too busy healing and recovering and recharging. So now
I've got some goals. From the perspective of leadership coaching
and management consulting, I'm working with change leaders who are
(30:31):
making a difference in issues of sustainable development. So anyone
that's aligned with the sustainable development goals of the United
Nations that are working in environmental social governance change. I
work with scientists, engineers, like good people doing good things
in the world. I want to help them have that
aligned experience of having the insights match the outsides. I'm
(30:55):
talking to a lot of them on the Secret Life
of leaders podcast, through my consulting, through leadership programs, and
I really just want to lean in to working with
people with that good intent so that they can have
a better, more impactful, more powerful experience of leadership and
make a bigger difference in the world.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
If there's one thing you want to share today that
relates back to tenderness for nurses, So if you were
talking to a group of nurses, what is the one
thing you would recommend they try and do on a
daily basis.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
I would say, have enough grace and compassion for yourself
so you can make the insides much the outsides, so
that your grace and tenderness and compassion care for yourself.
The way that you bring that to the world is
just an extension of what you're doing for yourself. So
you can be aligned in the experience of caring for others. Yeah,
(31:50):
instead of giving from an empty cop love.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Thank you so much for coming in. I have got
so much out of today with you and let's hope
we get your backcine.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah, thank you so much for having things sane.
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