June 23, 2025 • 47 mins
In this episode of The Clink, Mat Steinwede opens up about his journey from the party-fueled chaos of Oxford Street to the criminal underworld, drug addiction, and life on the run. He shares the dark moments that nearly destroyed him, and the unlikely lifeline that helped him begin to turn it all around. This is part one of a powerful story of survival, redemption, and the long road to rebuilding.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
H approach a production. For the record. I'm done trying
to make y'all comfortable for the record. You ain't trying
(00:28):
to grow downy stuff for your for the record, laugh
on me going all the way for the record. Ain't
trying to link, No, trying to waste stop.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
For the record, for the record, for the for the record,
for the.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Right, for the ready record, for the record. I'm done
trying to make y'all comfortable.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Right, we are back, guys. I'm gonna be really honest.
It's been a long time doing this. Over four and
a half years. We are hitting very close to our
six million downloads, and by the end of this season,
I do expect to hit that figure. And it has
(01:15):
been a journey. It's been a journey of highs lows.
It's been a journey of some tough, tough times that
I've had to actually sit back and really reassess where
I wanted to be with what I produce, my guests,
and what I deliver. Thanks to you and to everybody
who has commented and supported, we are going to continue
(01:37):
to go ahead because we know that these stories are
having a massive impact in our communities and in your life.
From me, personally, thank you to you, Thank you to
Sideway Surf who has supported me over the years. We
at the moment are open to option with another sponsorship,
so we'll talk further about that as we move forward
(01:59):
in this season. But I do want to say a
massive thank you to Sideways Surf and remember that if
you want to support Clinking Corporated, we have our positive
wellness apparel that is available at all Sideways Surf stores
on the whole of the East Coast of Australia. Now,
without further ado, this guest is someone who truly is
(02:21):
inspiring to me. I have followed his journey for some
time and it's not something that I like to do.
Is I guess stalk or follow our guest too much?
But Matt is somebody that I can really relate to
and I do look up to as a dad, as
a bit of a mentor, to be honest, and I've
been blessed to have this wonderful man to be here
(02:43):
today with me, to join me in Season nineteen opening.
Matt mate, wow, A little bit starstruck as we started
in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I had to get it off my chest.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And yes, no, I didn't just introduce you by your
full last name, because I don't want to fuck up.
But anyway, I'm a little bit nervous. I'm pretty good
used but steineweight Matt steinweight. There we go now and
then mate, Honestly, without pissing in your pocket, you are
(03:19):
truly an amazing man. The way you live your life,
the way you deliver just you. There's there's no sort
of bullshit.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
You know.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
You structure your life in a way that is just
so so amazingly healthy. It's successful. And I know that
there's the highs and the lows, the ups and the downs.
I mean, that is life. But the way you embrace
it through your hardships and your highs and your winds
and just sharing your story with people you know like
you're not. I know that you have a big platform,
(03:50):
but you're not someone I look at as another influencer.
You're a man who's living and produces daily this normality
of life, what life should be in wholesomeness. It hasn't
always been in wholesome and you most definitely have experienced
the highs, the lows, hit rock bottom and the consistency
(04:13):
you show off the back of where it will begin
is phenomenal today, I'd love to introduce your story here
on the clink and it's something that I'm very honored
to be able to deliver, so thank you. And for
those that don't know Matt, would you like to introduce
yourself and tell the people who you are.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Yeah, Well, I live on the central Coast in New
South Wales and then I'm a real estate agent basically.
So I have seven kids. I've been married three times.
I was, you know, with my first wife for five years,
next one sixteen years, and Tara I've been with eight.
So you know, I'm slow learner. But I've got four
(04:55):
kids to the first wife, two kids to the second wife,
and one girl who's two now to Tara. I've been
in real estate almost thirty years now. Wow, it's almost
like twenty eight years or something. And before I got
into real estate, I was like a criminal, I guess
you'd say. But back then it was like I used
to be a bouncer on Oxtord Street and I just
(05:15):
got in that world, like I didn't set out to
be like that. So I just left Maruba Beach and
went partying one day when I was like seventeen and
never came back to the beach. I just stayed in
there and basically just partied. I loved it. It was good.
I started training at City Gym a long time ago.
It was like the first twenty four hour gym. They
didn't exist back then, but that was twenty four hours
(05:36):
and it was just like the scene. And I walked
in one day and the gay scene was like on
Oxford Street and I was his little surfer kid and
I walked in the gym with this gay guy friend
of mine, Steven Scott. He has come to the gym
and I'm like, okay, because I used to train at
the Surf Club. Every old rusty weights a bit and
I always had like an okay body. And then I
walked in as like massive guys and it was like
(05:59):
they were all in hot pants and hat. It was
hat and I'm talking pumping hard and I was such
a Steve.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Sounds like black Market on a Thursday night.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Exactly, the old hell Fire exactly, little leather pants.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Yeah, yeah, totally yeah. And I said to stay have them.
They're so big, and he goes, oh, they take steroids.
And I was like, what's steroids? So what do you
want some? And I was like yeah, I think so
you guys, we'll give me four in a bucks. So
I gave him for in the bucks and then you
got some is it and androl at the time or
Napple and I can't remember any like a couple of
bottles and a couple of injectable things, and off I went.
(06:36):
And I just went down that path. And then the
more I was in that scene, I could see the
bigger the people were and the I don't know scary
as the right word, but the more intimidating the word.
It was like a currency. So I was like, oh,
I just want to be the biggest and I want
to be the scariest and all this stuff. And you know,
I went down that path and then just got involved
(06:58):
deeper and deeper and deeper.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Yeah, you talk about the depths of involvement.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You know, I'm coming up to fifty myself, spring chicken
not not looking as good as yourself, though, I must say,
I was.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Like, I'm fifty three, so I was like, I was
like forties.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Well, thank you, I appreciate that, and I'll take that
as a.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Little win for the bame market. Actually thought you weren't
old enough to know blade market.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Well, I'm just about to say to you that whole
space around Oxford Street we used to do DCMS can
sellers and you know, Exchange Hotel. That was the original bit.
Oh wow, yeah, now we're talking, so you know. And
then even Taxi Club that was, you know, a cool
place to be back in the day. And it was
just a different a different world. If you didn't live
(07:44):
it and didn't have that, I guess, opportunity to enjoy
what it was all about, you missed out on an
era and a great era to be had, I think
for all of us, you know, the talking realistic here
when the you know, the real sort of pills started
hitting the streets, the proper MDMA Calais splits and the
baby calas and the little bayzes, little fifty dollars bays
(08:05):
tablets you've taken.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
It's dance your ass off all night.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
And then the one eight hundred numbers for the rave scene,
and you know, everyone to be running too Oxford Street
to the telephones and taxi ranks lined up. Next minute, boom,
everyone's gone and just disappeared. You just can't explain that
to someone today, can you.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
And there was like a club for every night apart
from Wednesday, So it was like Wednesday was sleeping day.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Wednesday was sleeping day.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Talking about sleeping and if I can touch on whilst
we're in this part of your journey with us today,
you went through quite an interesting period of drug use, speed,
lack of sleep or was something that you sort of
got yourself involved in. And obviously, and I'll let you
tell the story, it become a much bigger problem for
(08:51):
you in the earlier years.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
Oh yeah, I just became a full blown drug IC's
not even in the end, just during it, Like I
just I just went from speed, then pills and then
coke was around, but not I didn't really focus on
much made speed because you just want to go for
a correct but then it turns to the needle. So
then I started injecting everything, and then then coke crept in.
I hooked up with this girl one time and she goes,
(09:14):
do you want to blast some coke? And I was like,
I didn't really take much coke and plus is like
expensive at the time as well, so like it just
didn't make sense, like you good buye I don't know,
an eight ball of speed for LTE and how much
it was like say two hundred bucks, three und the
buck or whatever it was.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
But you know, bluggy glucose.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Yeah, it just didn't make sense to me. But she goes,
you want to blast some coke and we're at home
and she goes, you'll never forget the feeling. I was like, yeah, sure,
and then so I did, and I can tell you gee,
I was hooked.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Yeah, and experience that moment, It's like a helicopter just
takes off inside your head and a rush of just
euphoria that you just can't explain, and I don't think. Look,
we very open here on the Clink, and anybody whom
is new, please, if you are triggered by any of
our conversations, do reach out and talk to someone. It's
(10:06):
imperative if you're in recovery or if there's something that
you know may be triggering to you, do take care.
But the whole part of what we deliver here is
the trueeness of somebody's journey that then inspires people that
there are better ways and they're not alone. And Matt, Wow,
I mean opening our conversation today with some pretty deep,
(10:27):
dark moments.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Yeah, I'm trying to accelerate it because it's very long story.
I don't accelerate the whole thing because then we'll get
into the other stuff definitely. But then you know sliding
door moments in life brand that I look at now,
I can't tell you what's happened, but like how much
of the different things that happened along the way. But
I ended up working for these guys, so I don't
even know call it working. I just did things for them.
And then they were like pretty high up people and
(10:52):
in that whole scene, and they sent me to Terrible
one night, and like by this time, I was pretty
bad drug addict. I was just a walking animal. Basically
I would do anything.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
And then was this whilst also using steroids as well.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Yeah, yeah, I didn't. So I was like one hundred
and twenty eight kilos one hundred and thirty hundred and
twenty five kilos, and I was like by this time,
I developed a lot of connections and I was a
loose animal, yeah, and just I didn't care about anything anyway.
I ended up like really scraping around because I didn't
realize I was getting hotter and hotter as well. And
then a friend of mine, bouncer with DCM, pulled me
(11:29):
aside one day and said, mate, you're real hot. You've
got to go for a while. And I was like, yeah,
I just didn't see it. And then dealing drugs, running
drugs around everywhere, like as in different states and things,
and then I just didn't listen. And then people started
to move away from me a lot, and I started
to get because I had like a good, well, I
don't know if you call a good reputation. I was
(11:50):
trustworthy in that scene, you know, I would never do
nothing to anyone that I was connected to. And then
it just got real weird. Because I was so hot,
people started not trust me. Then I started to do
other things just to get money and stuff, and I
ended up I got a call one night for some
guys who you know on Cananbury Road. They have three
sections like eleven Knees or Islanders and yes aging or something.
(12:13):
They own parts of it and they have their prostitutes
on there. And I go call and they said, can
you mind, We've got a new girl to work on
Canoby Road. Can you be a minder for her? So
no one takes that, and I said yeah sure. So
I started in all that scene, which I wasn't really
involved in that much. That was more like the cross
scene sort of thing. And then those people were opening
another brussel, so I was minding her for a while.
(12:35):
And then those people were opening another brussel and they said,
can you go to Terrigul and look for some new girls.
Go to the nightclub up there. We'll hook you up
with the bikers up there and whoever else. And that
one night changed my entire life. I went up there
and I met with the people up there in the club,
met the guys. This guy came over, It makes me
(12:57):
look more. I'm six foot four almost, and then.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
He are you seriously nearly six foot four?
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Yeah? Wow, you make me look small. And I was like, hey,
hey go He goes, hey, I'm Dina. We just hit
it off a bit. And then this other girl comes
over that night, friend of Dina, has nothing to do
with all this, and it was her eighteenth birthday and
her name was Karina. And then I goes, hey, this
is Karena. I was off my head, like, so off
my head is not funny, and I was like hey,
(13:22):
and I thought she's pretty hot. So at the end
of the night, I said, oh, can I have your number?
Not for the whole thing. I didn't even do anything
there was I supposed to say to people, do you
want to work in the brothel. I don't know what
I was doing there anyway, so that's what I mean.
I just didn't I was just doing anything. And then
I said, can I have your number? Anyway? Fortunately she
gave it to me. Fortunately, but it was an eighteenth birthday.
(13:46):
She was a Mormon, never been to a nightclub before
meets me goes to the front. I didn't know this
till weeks later, but when she went to write down
a number, the bouncer grabs her and said, are you
giving that guy your number? And she said yeah. He said,
whatever you do, don't please don't and don't say I
said anything, because he's a sort of guy that makes
people disappear. I'm so glad she didn't listen. She gave
(14:10):
me her number. I went to Sydney. Everything fell apart
in such a big way I can't even explain it.
I ended up living in this abandoned building and camperdown
and I used to climb in and out of the window.
No one would come near me. No drugs. I couldn't
get any drugs because no one would touch me.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
So you basically have gone from being sort of in
the middle of the mix to completely just left, hind
cut off everywhere.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
Yeah, so bad. And then like this is really accelerated story,
but it was really bad. And then I was doing
anything to try to keep the drugs going, just myself
taking them. And then about six months after that could
have been ten months, I was under surveillance for I
Reckon about a year and a half. I Reckon maybe
a bit more. And then it was just like ramping
(14:54):
up and cops were doing funny things. I knocking on
doors pretending they were different people. Like the door I
was squatting in one night, the guy knocks on the door.
I was in there injecting drugs. No one's in there,
nothing in there, no furniture, no nothing, just me. And
he knocks on the door and he's goes, oh, mate,
do you know where the hospital is around here? Like this,
pretending to be drunk.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
And I was like, and you're in Camperdown anyway, which
is pretty obvious.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Where the hospital is on Paramount Road.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
Well, I didn't know where it was because I was
so used to just Oxford Street. I just ended up
getting in this place because my mate rented this place
that was attached to a workshop and they all moved
out and I just kept going there and then he goes,
I said, no, I don't know what you t tolkd meou,
I don't know what the hospital is. And I was
just wired as and he's like, he looks at me
and goes, we know what you're doing. We are right
(15:41):
onto you. And I'm like, it wasn't drunk, it's just
pretending we know what you're doing. Anyway. I rang Dino
about three or four months after that thing because I
was going mad, literally, and I said to Dna, can
you come pick me up? I'm going to be dead
or in jail any day because I had warrants out
from Rorest that had all different things happening. I owe
people money. I say to people that I've got a
(16:03):
couple of contracts taken out my life. People don't believe me.
Like when I did the mut wresting, some people write, oh,
that's bull crap, blah blah blah. I own quite a
bit of money because I took a whole lot of
drugs down to Melbourne while I was pretty high, and
the people I took them down to got a call
from someone who said, get that guy out of here.
You guys are all going to go down, they told me,
(16:26):
and they were all good friends of mine. I just
left and I left all that and I couldn't pay back.
So those people were after me.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, And let's be honest, Melbourne's very well known for
its history, especially network, and obviously if you're going to Melbourne,
it's not for a agree April.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
Yeah, So when't I say that. I just had a
couple of people that were pretty focused on getting me.
So it wasn't like a contract where people just say,
you know, there's contract out on you and I'm like, oh,
what am I going to do about it? So anyway,
Dino comes down, picks me up, takes me back to
his parents' house, puts me at the back of his parents'
house in this little room, and I stayed there for
(17:05):
nine months, and I just I was no good. I
was in a bit of a psychiasis and I just
drew stick figure people on paper every day for nine months.
And I called it Duncan and he had a little
helmet on and I said to Dina, Duncan's going to
be the biggest thing ever, mate, if I wasn't for Dina,
I would be dead. And he put me out there
and he used to make me lunch and like toast
(17:26):
the sandwiches and things. I was still seeing Karina by
this point, and after about nine months of doing that,
I was going a bit crazy. And it was just
a box, this little box outside his parents' house. I thought,
I've got to do something with my life. So I
rang an ex girlfriend, Lisa. I hadn't seen her for
like a couple of years, and I said to Lise,
I'm in a bit of trouble. She's like a bit
(17:47):
of trouble. You have people looking for you everywhere. You
have left the biggest mess down here. I said, what
should I do? And she goes, why don't you get
into real estate? So this was common knowledge on the street.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
You were definitely a targeted man and people were looking
for you playing and.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
See absolutely well. When I was in real estate, maybe
a year and a half in, I've got to call
at your office one day and they said, we know
where you are and I said, well, come get me.
I can't do anything about it. Can get me just
on your phone up And I was like that was it.
But I couldn't do anything like I can't explain how
I was. I was a lunatic.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
And I think too, Matt.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
When you get to that stage, and for many of
the listeners out there, I'm sure that there's quite a
few people who have been in a similar position. Maybe
not at that level, but definitely within that space of debt.
People are looking for them, threats on their lives and
so on. You're so just care factor of zero, like
it is, well, hey, whatever, come and deal with it,
(18:44):
Come and do what you got to do, Like you
get beyond that worrying, you know what I mean, it
is what it's just going to be.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
What it's going to be.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
You're going to either walk out of that real estate
and you're gonna eat grab or you're going to get
a bullet.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
And what actually happened. The people that I used to
sort of do things with I stuffed up once before
and I said to him, can I work it off?
I was a bad business but I should not have joke.
I was just I just I just eat them all
I give them. I was a terrible business person anyway,
and I worked it off once. But when I stuffed
up again, I went and do this and he said,
(19:15):
not not this time. Yeah, you know, what do you do?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Yeah? And then I grabbed the Yellow Pages and I
rang everybody in the Yellow Pages and just said, do
you have a trainee ship? But I had no idea
what real estate was at all. And one lady, just
one out of everyone, and this one lady said, yeah,
I'll give you a job, and I said, but I don't.
And Dino's parents wanted me out of the house now
they'd had enough of this weird guy out the back.
I said, I don't have a home and I don't
(19:40):
have a car, but I don't have any clothes either.
Like I just had a gym, pants and a bond single.
It's that's all I had, and I had like two
of them. I didn't have anything else. She said, that's
all right, I've got a caravan on my acreage. I'll
put you in there. And then i'd been sitting there
for years, had like Huntsmen's in it and things, but
that was fine. I just got in there, and she
said to me, it doesn't matter about a car, because
(20:02):
I want you to doorknock every day. And I just
just walk the streets every day all day from morning
till the night and just ask people if they want
to sell their house. I did that for itvors.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
When you put the lifestyle that you did live, and
I often do this with myself.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I implement that in my daily living and I take
what my street knowledge is or was, and I try
and put that into business to be the best version
of me. Am I every day living and growth, the strength,
the resilience. You know, I am a little bit o CD.
You know, my bipolar kicks in and you know all
these sort of things. It's like, okay, well now I
(20:39):
understand it all. It's a gift, and now how can
I be the best version of me? I did say
in the beginning, you're somebody whom I'm inspired by, and
I mean that because of right now what you're saying
to where we'll get to and where you are, and
I'm sure it's still not where you want to finish
at any stage just yet, there's so much ahead for me.
(21:03):
I've implemented that way of thinking, how to make a
quicker and how do I network? How do I talk
to this person or that person on this level or
this level to then create that moment of opportunity which
is exactly what we would do back then, isn't it
create that opportunity?
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Mate? I used to see this. I saw a lot
of strippers and a lot of prostitutes over the years,
like as in not pay them their girlfriends. And this
one Melissa said, You're just amazing. You can just like
pull ten thousand dollars out of nowhere.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
Exactly.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
I guess so because I had no money, Like I
have no money and then two hours later, I have
like ten thousand dollars or bags fulls of drugs and
it's like, anyway, yeah, you.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Touched on and what a great interview if Mark Boris
I did just skim over a little bit of that
interview in reference to a little bit of a background
to where we are talking about now and you talk
about Dino.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
I get it now, I get it.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
There was a moment that you made a call to
Dino where it was jail or you basically get your
shit together and you fucking win and you made a
commitment to him, and I now understand, And if you'd
like to share that with our audience, what relevance that
is today and your best mate and somebody whom has
(22:20):
been there obviously like I said, how I understand it
from your darkest, darkest moments.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
Yeah, it's just all these moments happened, these weird things.
So I had a gun at Dino's house and I
was driving along with him because I didn't have a cast.
I drove everywhere with him. He's like, it was like
my dad in a way. We're just like, let's go
down to the shop area and just take me down. That
one day, I was driving along with him and I thought,
I'm just going to shoot myself in the head. I
(22:47):
just I've had enough. I've got the gun at home.
It was so low I can't explain it. And he
turns around out of nowhere and said, Matt, promise me
you won't kill yourself. And it was like, I can't
tell you. It was this moment and I was like,
and I said, then I'll promise you. I'm not going
to I reckon. I would have if it wasn't for him.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
And he's really kept you accountable, hasn't he in your.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Other night? Like we're still best mates. He's a legend
and any but he's instinct. I don't know, we were
just I don't know where he came from. Imagine I
didn't go to Terrago the night. Anyway, I was working.
About a year later, I got offered a job across
the road. He should drive me to work every day
and he was a landscaper, so he dropped me off,
packed me some lunch, and then about a year later
(23:34):
I got offered a job across the road because things
were like really racing along. Everyone's like, who's this guy
like finding all these leads because the home office that
I worked out of, which is across the road from
the strip of shops, it was like this little home
office thing. No one. No one really liked this lady
that much. I didn't know. I had no idea who
was what. But she started to list all these houses
(23:55):
because I was finding them all. So this other guy
across the road at peter Brand real Estate, he offered
me a job, and I was like, yeah, I'll go
across there because that was the side to be on.
That's where they're all the shops flat. I was like, oh, yeah,
I go there. Anyway, I got the bus home one
night and I'd gone from the caravan. I was engaged
to Karina by this point, and I rented a room
(24:18):
off this elderly lady who was like Way in her eighties.
Her name was Tina, friends of Karna's family. And I
get the bus home seven point thirty odd one night
was dark, and then walk in and the phone ringing
in Tina's house and I was a bit in hiding
like I was. I didn't go to Sydney for about
fifteen years. I get so much sweat on my hands.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I was just about to ask you, were you concerned
for your welfare now that you were starting to sort of,
I guess, become a part of society in what would
be classed as the normal way. You get up, you
go to work, you're a face, you're in the public,
you're not hiding from people. You're not in the dark
dingy little room. You're actually out there. And as you said,
walking the streets, you are a target. How did you
(25:00):
sort of mentally deal with that or was it still
that mindset of well it is it is.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
And I was so anxious. Yeah, I couldn't go anywhere,
like I list couldn't go anywhere, like just in my head,
wouldn't go to Sydney. We'll go near Sydney for so long. Yeah. Anyway,
I got the bus home walked into Tina's phone, ringing,
I pick it up and Ray from the Fish and
chip shop. He goes, hey, Matt, it's Ray from the
fish and chip shop. I'm like, Ray, how did you
(25:26):
even get this number? He was an ex heroin dealer
from the Cross. He was up there and hiding too.
I'm sure he was. Anyway, he's on methadone, you know
when people on Macedonia consider like. He tell a bit
and he's like, oh, anyway, he goes, mate, I said,
how'd you get the number? He goes, don't worry about that.
You've just been on Australia's Most Wanted. And I'm like,
(25:48):
what bugger? I'm like really, And then Karina's dad turns
up on the doorstep like five minutes later, huffing and puffing.
He ran down from their house streets away. The whole
family was watching the show. You know, it's the show
Australias Most Wanted.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
And back then everybody watched it because it was like,
well everybody knew somebody. I just wanted to see it
because it was one of those things that was never
spoken of.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
It was just.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Like all their six kids are this Mormon family parents
and the six kids all watching it and ip eiepop
and then he turns up and he goes, We've got
to talk, and I'm like yeah. He's like huffing and puffing,
and I'm like, yeah, we do. So I went and
handed myself back in in Sydney, went straight to court.
Karina's mum came and testified. Tina came and testified, and
(26:34):
she was amazing. She's up in the stand and she goes, oh,
that's such a lovely boy. Who feeds my cat. He
takes my washing out. And Karina's mum told a story.
I had ten bucks, that's all I had one day
to my name, and her son's bike got stolen, so
I went and bought one off someone for ten bucks.
And then she was telling the story and crying in
(26:56):
the stand. Anyway, at the end of the hearing, the
judge looks at me and she goes, Matt, you should
be going to jail for quite a few years today,
she said, but I just see some good in you,
and I'm going to give you a second chance. I
had to do community service for I don't know how
long it was. It was quite a long time. We
fell like forever. But while I was working as well,
and it took me eight years to pay back all
(27:18):
the fines that I got for all different things. But
she said to me, if I see you back here again,
you will go away for half of your life. That's
for sure. I walked out of the courtroom, got Karna's phone,
rang Dino and said, Mae, I'm going to make your promise.
I'm going to become astray as number one aged. I've
never broken it. I've just stayed on that path.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I love that the way that you glow when you
say that, you know, the look on no, I really do.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
And I think that you know, for anybody out there.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That's in a hole at the moment or feels systems
against them, the world's against they're in addiction, you know.
For me, having my background in the many years that
I was incarcerated to then you know, obviously being a
dad of four children, it's I think you don't break
if you make a promise. And for me, nine times
(28:09):
out of ten, I promise nothing because you can't guarantee it,
especially when it's something out of your control. You've literally
not once, but several times given Dino these promises, and
they are all positive promises of you moving forward in
such a productive way to become the man you are today.
Was there a time there, though, that you felt or
(28:31):
were in a situation where you may have broken that
promise and you've had to sit there and go, hang
on a seat.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
This is not good. I need to stay on that
straight line.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Not really. Like I relapsed drug wise a number of
times when I got shaws the first time and well
second time. I relapsed in the drug side, but the
work side, I never skipped the beat. I kept showing up.
I kept doing my thing. The drug thing took it went,
and then it had creep back in and then like
that took a long time to get Like now, if
(29:03):
I had a line of Koki and even Nellie touch it, but.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Well, you wouldn't know if it was coke these days,
So that's a good choice.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
I agree. I'm the same. I can tell you now, mate,
you can take it away, thanks.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Because now I'm attached to the outcome. And before I
took a long time to develop that muscle, like I'm
talking well into my forties. Yeah, well you know, and
it was drinking, like if I had one. I was
never a big drinker, but at one drink gone. Yeah,
forget it. I'm off with the train.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
I'm the same.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
It's either do or don't, and it's all in or nothing,
and you know, and it's sort of you got one
in one hand and the straw and the other, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
And it's just it's what happens and what becomes the norm.
So you know.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
And I have had this conversation recently with somebody who
reached out, and I just said, you've got to take
control and acknowledge it, accept it and just go I
don't do it. It's as simple as that. You can't
have it halfway and say that I'm okay. You're either
not okay and you don't do it, and you make
better choices.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Hence, let me look at your life, look where you today.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
Yeah, but I think it's a muscle. I think people
don't realize that. And not to labor the point, but
I was on the phone to someone yesterday, a gambler,
and I said, mate, you're going to fall off the
cart again, probably, but don't beat yourself up. Just get
up and you get a little bit stronger, and then
you get a little bit stronger. I think people think
they've got to just be you know, Matt or Brent.
It's like finished, you know, and it's I found with myself.
(30:27):
It was a muscle, But you can't use that as
an excuse. I'll go out and then I'll just try
it on Monday. I genuinely found when I got triggered,
I started to learn that there's definite triggers, like one
hundred percent. Yes, you go to a party and you
have a beer, You're going to get triggered. You go
through a painful thing like a divorce or a death
or something, your body's going to getriggered in different ways.
You know, look to ease it correct. So it took
(30:50):
me a long time to work that out.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I think the biggest thing there is understanding that it
is okay to trip and we all do it. Like
you just said, you know, like it hasn't been smooth sailing,
you've relapsed. I did see something just recently that was
a very valid point. And this is not to discredit
or take anything away from anybody whom is in recovery.
(31:13):
Credit to you, and I pray to God that you
find the strength to continue. But it was a label
and it's resonated with me, and I think that you
may respect. What I'm going to say here is that
you are a recovering addict. You're always going to be
a recovering addict. The gentleman who made that point in
(31:34):
this post is somebody who had an addiction with ice
and other drugs. He's in recovery. He has recently relapsed
some time in the last six months, which is okay,
it happens. Pick yourself up, let's start again, back to
ground zero and grow. But do we want to keep
being reminded that I'm an addict, I'm a junkie.
Speaker 4 (31:57):
You know. It's a good smack in the head.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
I guess to oneself at times if you can absorb
that and appreciate how far you've come from addiction. But
do you want to keep reminding yourself that you are
in a recovery position of addiction for life? I feel
that there's better ways of accepting and processing and moving forward.
(32:20):
Like for you, you're a successful businessman, you're a great father,
you're a good husband, there's so many more qualities. Or
do you go to your children and say, yeah, look,
dad's a recovering addict and just you know, just say
you understand it.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
You know, if your friends.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Have a party and they pull out a bag, just
you know, please don't pull.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
It in front. Do you understand where I'm coming from?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
And I think that mentally has a lot of weight
into how we move forward in life.
Speaker 5 (32:51):
Well, people talk about a diction like it's a disease
and it's not. And I'm only speaking from experience, you know.
People Sometimes people go, you're not a psychologist, You're not
this thing.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I'm not, No, but we lived experienced people who probably
have more experience than a psychologist.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
Addictions. It's just an interest, Like you're just interested in it,
like in anything. So it could be porn, it could
be surfing, it could be work, it could be anything.
It's just it's a personality type. You're interested in that
thing and you like it. That's why people become addicted.
They like it, you know, and you've just got to
shift it. And I think if you got that type
of personality, I need something to focus on.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Yes, I've always got to have a goal. I've always
got to have a goal. When I'd finished my last
sentence twenty fourteen, i'd finished six years for importation. Now
I came out with three years. I was under federal parole.
So it was three years and I needed purpose. I
had two children, oldest sons twenty six. I'd lost that relationship,
(33:45):
but my wife whom had our daughter, and then she
was pregnant when I was arrested, so she'd raised my
second son. I needed to be a dad. I needed
to learn to be a dad, a good husband, and
somebody whom my children could not just type the name
in and see this notorious this or you know X
this or X that whatever. And I thought, what can
(34:07):
I do? And as a survivor of suicidality, living with
mental health and like yourself, losing people close to you,
what could I do? What could I put into life
to make a difference through my own lived experience? And
I decided to ride a pushbike across Australia from east
to west and be the first to do it in
under fifty days and successfully did so. How then it
(34:30):
changed me and the depths I had to go to
to realize I never want to go back to those
places again and battle my inner demons, like I live
with mental health issues every day.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
We all do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Like I think that if you don't, that's exactly right,
let's just be honest. But how do you embrace it?
How do you make it your superpower? And how do
you become great? And how many times do we have
to trip over and go shit, that wasn't for me.
I'm not going to be that guy. I'm not going
to be the real estate aging in Australia or the
(35:04):
best podcast.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
Or you know, whatever it may be.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
The point is fucking get in there and have a
crack and put your heart and soul into something because
you will never know totally.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Well, I think you said, then Brent, it's like the
bike across Australia. What a great goal? Yeah like that, but.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
It was never enough, Matt.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
I had to go again, and then I did Tazzy
and then I started doing half Ironman's and then I
just like, no, good.
Speaker 5 (35:29):
So good. It's like you know the guy I was
talking Yesterdays twenty three and I said, well, what do
you like doing? He goes, I like, you couldn't, you
can't get off gambling and he goes, I like training.
I like personal training and said, well become that He's
he started having a bit of a spark in his voice.
I said, see, I'm just got to follow that. It's
like every step where every choice, it's either forwards or backwards.
That's the way I see it.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Now.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
I get on the steirmaster here it's a step forward,
but take a beer, it's a step backwards.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
That's how I say it, one hundred percent. And look, family,
I also think is a massive part. And for those
of us that are blessed to be fathers or mothers,
whether it be throughout our own children or step children,
we are leaders. We are what our children look up to.
Speaker 5 (36:09):
You know.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
I'm a big believer that I have.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
My sons are doing quite well in their sporting and
academics at the moment, in the elite programs, and I
expect certain levels of commitment from them and discipline. Who
am I to ask that of them? If I'm not
prepared to lead by showing that I get up at
four o'clock in the morning, I'll go run between ten
and twenty kilometers, you know, like even after a triple
(36:32):
spinal fusion, two blown knees, I'm still getting my ass
up and going. My fifteen year old son has seen
the growth and how much it's changed his life from
Oh dad, I can't be but it's too cold to now, Okay,
let's go to which his goal was a fifteen kilometer
run at the back end of last year in the preseason,
and he achieved it without even realizing it, because I
(36:55):
chose to just mentally ignore him along the way and
keep running and just say coming, son, you know, and
like it's got to the point where he's like, oh
my age you dad. You know, we stop looking at
the watch and he says, oh, what was that nine ten?
I said, no, Son, you just conquered fifteen and a
half to wow, you know. So from that moment, that
was an inspiring moment for Kishan to then want to
(37:15):
be great and want to be the best. He's seen
that that evolvement of just being a would I say,
if I put the effort in, if I commit, I
will get in return so much reward. Life is that
in a nutshell, isn't it it is?
Speaker 5 (37:32):
I think sometimes people make it bigger than it needs
to be. Just people underestimate the power of a small
daily win, just a small daily win, a whole series
of them. And I often say to people that a
fantastic year is just nothing more than having an outstanding
days three hundred and sixty five times, so you've got
to design it that way. Sometimes we think, oh, we've
(37:53):
got to be this perfect person down here, this successful.
It's too far away, it's too big. It's like you
don't do anything about it. But today I can do
a great morning routine. I can go kill it at work,
a prospecting, I can eat really well, I could not
touch the drink, have a wine down thing, bit of
time with the kids, and it's a great day. What
else in it?
Speaker 4 (38:11):
What is a day in the life of mat Now?
Speaker 5 (38:15):
I wake up naturally. I don't use an alarm clock,
because if you have to wake up with an alarm clock,
you're actually not ready to get up. So I get
up about five five thirty. Then I'll do some breathing,
ice bath, red light bed. It depends on how much
time I've got because I make breakfast, fatara and summer,
so I make sure they're got that. And by that time,
(38:37):
sometimes I do cardio, sometimes not depends what work's doing.
And then I'm off into work by about nine point
thirty ten o'clock somewhere there. Look, that's all these years later.
I used to work around the clock, which we can
talk about in the set, which wasn't great, but I
did it for a long time. So then I go
into work and then I train. I have a personal
gym at Tugra's like a factory, so I get there
(38:59):
by three o'clock and then I train there. I'm working
all day, but just on the phone. Really, I try
and do my appointments between ten and two o'clock. But
I have a good team around me.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
So just on that.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
You when we talk about being a leader, you've created
eighteen around you and your your visions and your beliefs
and structure of life, and how you have gotten to
where you are.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
Is that right?
Speaker 5 (39:23):
Yeah? When I got to I remember it so clearly.
Forty three. I went into the doctor's office one day
and look, I just wasn't feeling great. I was ninety
three kilos, I was surfing but tired all the time.
And he goes your quarter. You did a blood test
and things. He goes your Quartersolo is through the roof.
You've got no iron, you've got no testostera, and I
had no sex drive. Nothing. He goes, I'm even surprised
(39:44):
you're standing up, to be honest with you, But I
worked around the clock for twenty years and I'm talking
four thirty in the morning till eleven thirty at night
every day. So it served a purpose. I'm not winging
about it because it helped me build a pretty awesome
company now. But I paid the price. And I got
to that point where I'm like, I need to make
(40:04):
some changes, but I'm so busy, I've got no time.
And I was on this mental I just became the
number one at what I did agent but dying inside.
So I was like, I need to make some changes.
I could feel it, otherwise I think I'm going to
get sick or something like. I could just feel that
my body just wasn't going to keep going. And so
(40:25):
I decided to just go to the gym and do
thirty minutes on the treadmill every day. That's all I
started with. And as that went on, and then I
post it every day just to keep myself accountable. As
that went on, I did thirty one minutes, which meant
just do something for yourself. Then I started training a
bit more and when I was in the doctors, sorry,
he said, I do you want me to prescribe as
(40:45):
some testosterone? And I said how much? And He's like,
not my one milla weeks.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
I'm on the Primo program.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
I get the one the one meal every two weeks.
But did you know that they've now changed the boxes.
You can't buy three at a time anymore. Really, Oh, yes,
they've seen the value one meal three load.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Fucking mate. Honestly, all about.
Speaker 5 (41:08):
Down the testosterone route. And there's some good sports doctors
out there that are pretty good with stuff those ten
years ago. So I started testosterone and started all of
that and then slowly got into training again. Made a
bit of a mistake because my son, Logan, who killed
himself recently. I surfed with him every day, every day
since he was six years old, and so I stopped
(41:30):
surfing with him because he was like about eighteen by
this point, verging on a pro surfer. And then I
went training instead, and I think it really affected him.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Yeah, he lost his brother.
Speaker 5 (41:42):
It was a bit of a mistake I made, so
I stopped surfing, but I didn't have in my brain
I was like, well, I'm going to do that or
that like. So I said to Log's uka surfing in
the morning. So we surf every morning together, and I
said to those you're right surfing on your own He's like, yeah, yeah,
and it sort of wise, but I don't think he
was anyway. It's just something that changed in his life.
And then I just went right down that path. And
(42:03):
then I was looking at my time as the year
went on, I was like, I have to actually get
a hold of my time and structure the life that's
going to make me happy. Anything short of that I'm
not prepared to do. So that's where I was like,
I'm my best in the morning, so nine to one,
that's where my brain is best, or any appointments I
need to do usually are in there, and then morning
(42:25):
routine training, the ARVO, and then night routine. I don't
want another divorce, so I've got to give the family
a bit of time. So I'm trying to. I'm making
all that work, and now I've got a really good day.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
You know.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
I get to bed at nine nine point thirty every night.
I ate two meals a day. I know a lot
about gut health. Now I've got some great nutritionis around me.
I've gone right down that rabbit hole and I'm probably
functioning the best I've ever functioned in my life.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
I don't want to be in any way. Please tell
me to stop. But you just talked about a horrific
loss in your life. Yeah, some Mogan, and we weren't.
I don't want to go deep into that. That's something
here to respect. But how if I may ask, And
I did actually see that time.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
I did watch your posts and I was.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
I was absolutely affected in the way that it was triggering,
and as a dad, I felt for you. We didn't
know each other, and I just was like, wow, but
the way that you showed your emotion and came to
just I guess living now and accepting, how how did
you do that?
Speaker 4 (43:37):
Matt If I made plan, it.
Speaker 5 (43:38):
Was very it was very tricky. We stopped talking Logan
and I. So we, out of all the kids at
the time, Logan I were probably the closest because we
spent every day together.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
So was he your second child out of it? Okay?
Speaker 5 (43:52):
So what happened? Like I had three real young like
after the first two, I said to Koreana, I don't
have any more kids. We don't even get along. Don't
have more kids. And then so you literally felt pregnant,
like just straight away after that, she just you walked
past this, she fell pregnant, and then I was separated.
From Karina. I was like, I can't do this, Like
I was so young, I had so much. I hadn't
even dealt with myself. I didn't know that at the time.
(44:14):
So I moved out and I was moving in and out,
in and out, in and out, trying to make it work,
trying to not And about a year later, after she
fell pregnant the second time, I went on a vendor
and I rang it. The next day, I said come over,
and she came over and fell pregnant with Logan. So
I was starting to see someone else by this point,
and so she was pregnant, I was seeing somebody else.
(44:36):
Talk about a mess like ge and then Logan was born,
and I didn't really like For the first couple of years,
I wasn't really super attached because it was like just
my whole life is a mess everywhere, and I was
just trying to keep everyone running, you know, child support
and house and this and that anyway, building a business.
I was just like relentless. And because she came to
(44:58):
the office one day and she pulls up and she
goes come down. We got on pretty good, but we
just didn't at the same time. So there's a bit
volatiles and she shows me the pregnancy thing and I'm
like what does that mean? And she is I'm pregnant.
I'm like how and she's like well that night like
that one night, I'm like, nah, you're joking. There must
(45:19):
be somebody else's or something like this, and she's like
it's yours and I'm like gee. So anyway, Logs was born,
and then about three years in I was like, it's
such a cute little kid. And then I'd stop surfing
for about fifteen years and Shelley, my second wife, said
you should start surfing again, and I was thought about
it and thought about it. I said, I'm going to
be a real cook. Am I supposed to start surfing
(45:41):
because I was never amazing? But I was all right.
And then I used to go up the North Entrance
in the dark, five in the morning and just surf
on my own and teach myself again. But then Logan
got to about five years old and I took him
to the beach one day in the rock pool and
I saw him stand on the surfboard. I'm like, there's
something with this kid and this surfing and just a
little foam thing and pushing it it's the way he
(46:02):
stood anyway. So I started more and more, and then
as he got older, he was surfing in my back
and then you know, I'd take him out and for
three years I just wear flippers, and then taught him
out a surf. Yes, I was bobbing around one time
and it was winter freezing and I had slippers on
and knees surfing. It would have been I don't know six.
This time this guy paddles. He goes, mate, you need
a freaking trophy. He goes, you're bobbling around out here.
(46:27):
Surf is pretty big. He goes bobbing around out his
women in and out getting this kid. Anyway, Logan just
had something different about him with the surf. Ever, since
he was real young, mate, he was serving the biggest waves.
It was sketchy but probably bad parenting, but anyway, he
just had this talent that was like, well, everyone loved
watching him surfing in the power he had.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
That's the first part of our conversation with Matt Steinwade.
In part two will dive deeper into his journey as
a father, the heartbreaking loss of his son, and how
he rebuilt his life with purpose.
Speaker 4 (46:57):
That's coming next. Week. Don't miss it fort a record.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Don't try and make you out comfortable for a record,
trying to grow down the stuff for you.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Right for the record, live on me, going all the
way for the record.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Ain't trying to link, no, trying to waste, stop.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
All that for the record, for the record. Yeah for
the for the record, for the record. Yea for the record,
for the record.
Speaker 5 (47:31):
H m hmmmm hmm
H approach a production. For the record. I'm done trying
to make y'all comfortable for the record. You ain't trying
(00:28):
to grow downy stuff for your for the record, laugh
on me going all the way for the record. Ain't
trying to link, No, trying to waste stop.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
For the record, for the record, for the for the record,
for the.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Right, for the ready record, for the record. I'm done
trying to make y'all comfortable.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Right, we are back, guys. I'm gonna be really honest.
It's been a long time doing this. Over four and
a half years. We are hitting very close to our
six million downloads, and by the end of this season,
I do expect to hit that figure. And it has
(01:15):
been a journey. It's been a journey of highs lows.
It's been a journey of some tough, tough times that
I've had to actually sit back and really reassess where
I wanted to be with what I produce, my guests,
and what I deliver. Thanks to you and to everybody
who has commented and supported, we are going to continue
(01:37):
to go ahead because we know that these stories are
having a massive impact in our communities and in your life.
From me, personally, thank you to you, Thank you to
Sideway Surf who has supported me over the years. We
at the moment are open to option with another sponsorship,
so we'll talk further about that as we move forward
(01:59):
in this season. But I do want to say a
massive thank you to Sideways Surf and remember that if
you want to support Clinking Corporated, we have our positive
wellness apparel that is available at all Sideways Surf stores
on the whole of the East Coast of Australia. Now,
without further ado, this guest is someone who truly is
(02:21):
inspiring to me. I have followed his journey for some
time and it's not something that I like to do.
Is I guess stalk or follow our guest too much?
But Matt is somebody that I can really relate to
and I do look up to as a dad, as
a bit of a mentor, to be honest, and I've
been blessed to have this wonderful man to be here
(02:43):
today with me, to join me in Season nineteen opening.
Matt mate, wow, A little bit starstruck as we started
in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I had to get it off my chest.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And yes, no, I didn't just introduce you by your
full last name, because I don't want to fuck up.
But anyway, I'm a little bit nervous. I'm pretty good
used but steineweight Matt steinweight. There we go now and
then mate, Honestly, without pissing in your pocket, you are
(03:19):
truly an amazing man. The way you live your life,
the way you deliver just you. There's there's no sort
of bullshit.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
You know.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
You structure your life in a way that is just
so so amazingly healthy. It's successful. And I know that
there's the highs and the lows, the ups and the downs.
I mean, that is life. But the way you embrace
it through your hardships and your highs and your winds
and just sharing your story with people you know like
you're not. I know that you have a big platform,
(03:50):
but you're not someone I look at as another influencer.
You're a man who's living and produces daily this normality
of life, what life should be in wholesomeness. It hasn't
always been in wholesome and you most definitely have experienced
the highs, the lows, hit rock bottom and the consistency
(04:13):
you show off the back of where it will begin
is phenomenal today, I'd love to introduce your story here
on the clink and it's something that I'm very honored
to be able to deliver, so thank you. And for
those that don't know Matt, would you like to introduce
yourself and tell the people who you are.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Yeah, Well, I live on the central Coast in New
South Wales and then I'm a real estate agent basically.
So I have seven kids. I've been married three times.
I was, you know, with my first wife for five years,
next one sixteen years, and Tara I've been with eight.
So you know, I'm slow learner. But I've got four
(04:55):
kids to the first wife, two kids to the second wife,
and one girl who's two now to Tara. I've been
in real estate almost thirty years now. Wow, it's almost
like twenty eight years or something. And before I got
into real estate, I was like a criminal, I guess
you'd say. But back then it was like I used
to be a bouncer on Oxtord Street and I just
(05:15):
got in that world, like I didn't set out to
be like that. So I just left Maruba Beach and
went partying one day when I was like seventeen and
never came back to the beach. I just stayed in
there and basically just partied. I loved it. It was good.
I started training at City Gym a long time ago.
It was like the first twenty four hour gym. They
didn't exist back then, but that was twenty four hours
(05:36):
and it was just like the scene. And I walked
in one day and the gay scene was like on
Oxford Street and I was his little surfer kid and
I walked in the gym with this gay guy friend
of mine, Steven Scott. He has come to the gym
and I'm like, okay, because I used to train at
the Surf Club. Every old rusty weights a bit and
I always had like an okay body. And then I
walked in as like massive guys and it was like
(05:59):
they were all in hot pants and hat. It was
hat and I'm talking pumping hard and I was such
a Steve.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Sounds like black Market on a Thursday night.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Exactly, the old hell Fire exactly, little leather pants.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Yeah, yeah, totally yeah. And I said to stay have them.
They're so big, and he goes, oh, they take steroids.
And I was like, what's steroids? So what do you
want some? And I was like yeah, I think so
you guys, we'll give me four in a bucks. So
I gave him for in the bucks and then you
got some is it and androl at the time or
Napple and I can't remember any like a couple of
bottles and a couple of injectable things, and off I went.
(06:36):
And I just went down that path. And then the
more I was in that scene, I could see the
bigger the people were and the I don't know scary
as the right word, but the more intimidating the word.
It was like a currency. So I was like, oh,
I just want to be the biggest and I want
to be the scariest and all this stuff. And you know,
I went down that path and then just got involved
(06:58):
deeper and deeper and deeper.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Yeah, you talk about the depths of involvement.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You know, I'm coming up to fifty myself, spring chicken
not not looking as good as yourself, though, I must say,
I was.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Like, I'm fifty three, so I was like, I was
like forties.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Well, thank you, I appreciate that, and I'll take that
as a.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Little win for the bame market. Actually thought you weren't
old enough to know blade market.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Well, I'm just about to say to you that whole
space around Oxford Street we used to do DCMS can
sellers and you know, Exchange Hotel. That was the original bit.
Oh wow, yeah, now we're talking, so you know. And
then even Taxi Club that was, you know, a cool
place to be back in the day. And it was
just a different a different world. If you didn't live
(07:44):
it and didn't have that, I guess, opportunity to enjoy
what it was all about, you missed out on an
era and a great era to be had, I think
for all of us, you know, the talking realistic here
when the you know, the real sort of pills started
hitting the streets, the proper MDMA Calais splits and the
baby calas and the little bayzes, little fifty dollars bays
(08:05):
tablets you've taken.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
It's dance your ass off all night.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
And then the one eight hundred numbers for the rave scene,
and you know, everyone to be running too Oxford Street
to the telephones and taxi ranks lined up. Next minute, boom,
everyone's gone and just disappeared. You just can't explain that
to someone today, can you.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
And there was like a club for every night apart
from Wednesday, So it was like Wednesday was sleeping day.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Wednesday was sleeping day.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Talking about sleeping and if I can touch on whilst
we're in this part of your journey with us today,
you went through quite an interesting period of drug use, speed,
lack of sleep or was something that you sort of
got yourself involved in. And obviously, and I'll let you
tell the story, it become a much bigger problem for
(08:51):
you in the earlier years.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
Oh yeah, I just became a full blown drug IC's
not even in the end, just during it, Like I
just I just went from speed, then pills and then
coke was around, but not I didn't really focus on
much made speed because you just want to go for
a correct but then it turns to the needle. So
then I started injecting everything, and then then coke crept in.
I hooked up with this girl one time and she goes,
(09:14):
do you want to blast some coke? And I was like,
I didn't really take much coke and plus is like
expensive at the time as well, so like it just
didn't make sense, like you good buye I don't know,
an eight ball of speed for LTE and how much
it was like say two hundred bucks, three und the
buck or whatever it was.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
But you know, bluggy glucose.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Yeah, it just didn't make sense to me. But she goes,
you want to blast some coke and we're at home
and she goes, you'll never forget the feeling. I was like, yeah, sure,
and then so I did, and I can tell you gee,
I was hooked.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Yeah, and experience that moment, It's like a helicopter just
takes off inside your head and a rush of just
euphoria that you just can't explain, and I don't think. Look,
we very open here on the Clink, and anybody whom
is new, please, if you are triggered by any of
our conversations, do reach out and talk to someone. It's
(10:06):
imperative if you're in recovery or if there's something that
you know may be triggering to you, do take care.
But the whole part of what we deliver here is
the trueeness of somebody's journey that then inspires people that
there are better ways and they're not alone. And Matt, Wow,
I mean opening our conversation today with some pretty deep,
(10:27):
dark moments.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Yeah, I'm trying to accelerate it because it's very long story.
I don't accelerate the whole thing because then we'll get
into the other stuff definitely. But then you know sliding
door moments in life brand that I look at now,
I can't tell you what's happened, but like how much
of the different things that happened along the way. But
I ended up working for these guys, so I don't
even know call it working. I just did things for them.
And then they were like pretty high up people and
(10:52):
in that whole scene, and they sent me to Terrible
one night, and like by this time, I was pretty
bad drug addict. I was just a walking animal. Basically
I would do anything.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
And then was this whilst also using steroids as well.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Yeah, yeah, I didn't. So I was like one hundred
and twenty eight kilos one hundred and thirty hundred and
twenty five kilos, and I was like by this time,
I developed a lot of connections and I was a
loose animal, yeah, and just I didn't care about anything anyway.
I ended up like really scraping around because I didn't
realize I was getting hotter and hotter as well. And
then a friend of mine, bouncer with DCM, pulled me
(11:29):
aside one day and said, mate, you're real hot. You've
got to go for a while. And I was like, yeah,
I just didn't see it. And then dealing drugs, running
drugs around everywhere, like as in different states and things,
and then I just didn't listen. And then people started
to move away from me a lot, and I started
to get because I had like a good, well, I
don't know if you call a good reputation. I was
(11:50):
trustworthy in that scene, you know, I would never do
nothing to anyone that I was connected to. And then
it just got real weird. Because I was so hot,
people started not trust me. Then I started to do
other things just to get money and stuff, and I
ended up I got a call one night for some
guys who you know on Cananbury Road. They have three
sections like eleven Knees or Islanders and yes aging or something.
(12:13):
They own parts of it and they have their prostitutes
on there. And I go call and they said, can
you mind, We've got a new girl to work on
Canoby Road. Can you be a minder for her? So
no one takes that, and I said yeah sure. So
I started in all that scene, which I wasn't really
involved in that much. That was more like the cross
scene sort of thing. And then those people were opening
another brussel, so I was minding her for a while.
(12:35):
And then those people were opening another brussel and they said,
can you go to Terrigul and look for some new girls.
Go to the nightclub up there. We'll hook you up
with the bikers up there and whoever else. And that
one night changed my entire life. I went up there
and I met with the people up there in the club,
met the guys. This guy came over, It makes me
(12:57):
look more. I'm six foot four almost, and then.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
He are you seriously nearly six foot four?
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Yeah? Wow, you make me look small. And I was like, hey,
hey go He goes, hey, I'm Dina. We just hit
it off a bit. And then this other girl comes
over that night, friend of Dina, has nothing to do
with all this, and it was her eighteenth birthday and
her name was Karina. And then I goes, hey, this
is Karena. I was off my head, like, so off
my head is not funny, and I was like hey,
(13:22):
and I thought she's pretty hot. So at the end
of the night, I said, oh, can I have your number?
Not for the whole thing. I didn't even do anything
there was I supposed to say to people, do you
want to work in the brothel. I don't know what
I was doing there anyway, so that's what I mean.
I just didn't I was just doing anything. And then
I said, can I have your number? Anyway? Fortunately she
gave it to me. Fortunately, but it was an eighteenth birthday.
(13:46):
She was a Mormon, never been to a nightclub before
meets me goes to the front. I didn't know this
till weeks later, but when she went to write down
a number, the bouncer grabs her and said, are you
giving that guy your number? And she said yeah. He said,
whatever you do, don't please don't and don't say I
said anything, because he's a sort of guy that makes
people disappear. I'm so glad she didn't listen. She gave
(14:10):
me her number. I went to Sydney. Everything fell apart
in such a big way I can't even explain it.
I ended up living in this abandoned building and camperdown
and I used to climb in and out of the window.
No one would come near me. No drugs. I couldn't
get any drugs because no one would touch me.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
So you basically have gone from being sort of in
the middle of the mix to completely just left, hind
cut off everywhere.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
Yeah, so bad. And then like this is really accelerated story,
but it was really bad. And then I was doing
anything to try to keep the drugs going, just myself
taking them. And then about six months after that could
have been ten months, I was under surveillance for I
Reckon about a year and a half. I Reckon maybe
a bit more. And then it was just like ramping
(14:54):
up and cops were doing funny things. I knocking on
doors pretending they were different people. Like the door I
was squatting in one night, the guy knocks on the door.
I was in there injecting drugs. No one's in there,
nothing in there, no furniture, no nothing, just me. And
he knocks on the door and he's goes, oh, mate,
do you know where the hospital is around here? Like this,
pretending to be drunk.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
And I was like, and you're in Camperdown anyway, which
is pretty obvious.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Where the hospital is on Paramount Road.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
Well, I didn't know where it was because I was
so used to just Oxford Street. I just ended up
getting in this place because my mate rented this place
that was attached to a workshop and they all moved
out and I just kept going there and then he goes,
I said, no, I don't know what you t tolkd meou,
I don't know what the hospital is. And I was
just wired as and he's like, he looks at me
and goes, we know what you're doing. We are right
(15:41):
onto you. And I'm like, it wasn't drunk, it's just
pretending we know what you're doing. Anyway. I rang Dino
about three or four months after that thing because I
was going mad, literally, and I said to Dna, can
you come pick me up? I'm going to be dead
or in jail any day because I had warrants out
from Rorest that had all different things happening. I owe
people money. I say to people that I've got a
(16:03):
couple of contracts taken out my life. People don't believe me.
Like when I did the mut wresting, some people write, oh,
that's bull crap, blah blah blah. I own quite a
bit of money because I took a whole lot of
drugs down to Melbourne while I was pretty high, and
the people I took them down to got a call
from someone who said, get that guy out of here.
You guys are all going to go down, they told me,
(16:26):
and they were all good friends of mine. I just
left and I left all that and I couldn't pay back.
So those people were after me.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, And let's be honest, Melbourne's very well known for
its history, especially network, and obviously if you're going to Melbourne,
it's not for a agree April.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
Yeah, So when't I say that. I just had a
couple of people that were pretty focused on getting me.
So it wasn't like a contract where people just say,
you know, there's contract out on you and I'm like, oh,
what am I going to do about it? So anyway,
Dino comes down, picks me up, takes me back to
his parents' house, puts me at the back of his parents'
house in this little room, and I stayed there for
(17:05):
nine months, and I just I was no good. I
was in a bit of a psychiasis and I just
drew stick figure people on paper every day for nine months.
And I called it Duncan and he had a little
helmet on and I said to Dina, Duncan's going to
be the biggest thing ever, mate, if I wasn't for Dina,
I would be dead. And he put me out there
and he used to make me lunch and like toast
(17:26):
the sandwiches and things. I was still seeing Karina by
this point, and after about nine months of doing that,
I was going a bit crazy. And it was just
a box, this little box outside his parents' house. I thought,
I've got to do something with my life. So I
rang an ex girlfriend, Lisa. I hadn't seen her for
like a couple of years, and I said to Lise,
I'm in a bit of trouble. She's like a bit
(17:47):
of trouble. You have people looking for you everywhere. You
have left the biggest mess down here. I said, what
should I do? And she goes, why don't you get
into real estate? So this was common knowledge on the street.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
You were definitely a targeted man and people were looking
for you playing and.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
See absolutely well. When I was in real estate, maybe
a year and a half in, I've got to call
at your office one day and they said, we know
where you are and I said, well, come get me.
I can't do anything about it. Can get me just
on your phone up And I was like that was it.
But I couldn't do anything like I can't explain how
I was. I was a lunatic.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
And I think too, Matt.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
When you get to that stage, and for many of
the listeners out there, I'm sure that there's quite a
few people who have been in a similar position. Maybe
not at that level, but definitely within that space of debt.
People are looking for them, threats on their lives and
so on. You're so just care factor of zero, like
it is, well, hey, whatever, come and deal with it,
(18:44):
Come and do what you got to do, Like you
get beyond that worrying, you know what I mean, it
is what it's just going to be.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
What it's going to be.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
You're going to either walk out of that real estate
and you're gonna eat grab or you're going to get
a bullet.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
And what actually happened. The people that I used to
sort of do things with I stuffed up once before
and I said to him, can I work it off?
I was a bad business but I should not have joke.
I was just I just I just eat them all
I give them. I was a terrible business person anyway,
and I worked it off once. But when I stuffed
up again, I went and do this and he said,
(19:15):
not not this time. Yeah, you know, what do you do?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Yeah? And then I grabbed the Yellow Pages and I
rang everybody in the Yellow Pages and just said, do
you have a trainee ship? But I had no idea
what real estate was at all. And one lady, just
one out of everyone, and this one lady said, yeah,
I'll give you a job, and I said, but I don't.
And Dino's parents wanted me out of the house now
they'd had enough of this weird guy out the back.
I said, I don't have a home and I don't
(19:40):
have a car, but I don't have any clothes either.
Like I just had a gym, pants and a bond single.
It's that's all I had, and I had like two
of them. I didn't have anything else. She said, that's
all right, I've got a caravan on my acreage. I'll
put you in there. And then i'd been sitting there
for years, had like Huntsmen's in it and things, but
that was fine. I just got in there, and she
said to me, it doesn't matter about a car, because
(20:02):
I want you to doorknock every day. And I just
just walk the streets every day all day from morning
till the night and just ask people if they want
to sell their house. I did that for itvors.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
When you put the lifestyle that you did live, and
I often do this with myself.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I implement that in my daily living and I take
what my street knowledge is or was, and I try
and put that into business to be the best version
of me. Am I every day living and growth, the strength,
the resilience. You know, I am a little bit o CD.
You know, my bipolar kicks in and you know all
these sort of things. It's like, okay, well now I
(20:39):
understand it all. It's a gift, and now how can
I be the best version of me? I did say
in the beginning, you're somebody whom I'm inspired by, and
I mean that because of right now what you're saying
to where we'll get to and where you are, and
I'm sure it's still not where you want to finish
at any stage just yet, there's so much ahead for me.
(21:03):
I've implemented that way of thinking, how to make a
quicker and how do I network? How do I talk
to this person or that person on this level or
this level to then create that moment of opportunity which
is exactly what we would do back then, isn't it
create that opportunity?
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Mate? I used to see this. I saw a lot
of strippers and a lot of prostitutes over the years,
like as in not pay them their girlfriends. And this
one Melissa said, You're just amazing. You can just like
pull ten thousand dollars out of nowhere.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
Exactly.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
I guess so because I had no money, Like I
have no money and then two hours later, I have
like ten thousand dollars or bags fulls of drugs and
it's like, anyway, yeah, you.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Touched on and what a great interview if Mark Boris
I did just skim over a little bit of that
interview in reference to a little bit of a background
to where we are talking about now and you talk
about Dino.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
I get it now, I get it.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
There was a moment that you made a call to
Dino where it was jail or you basically get your
shit together and you fucking win and you made a
commitment to him, and I now understand, And if you'd
like to share that with our audience, what relevance that
is today and your best mate and somebody whom has
(22:20):
been there obviously like I said, how I understand it
from your darkest, darkest moments.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
Yeah, it's just all these moments happened, these weird things.
So I had a gun at Dino's house and I
was driving along with him because I didn't have a cast.
I drove everywhere with him. He's like, it was like
my dad in a way. We're just like, let's go
down to the shop area and just take me down. That
one day, I was driving along with him and I thought,
I'm just going to shoot myself in the head. I
(22:47):
just I've had enough. I've got the gun at home.
It was so low I can't explain it. And he
turns around out of nowhere and said, Matt, promise me
you won't kill yourself. And it was like, I can't
tell you. It was this moment and I was like,
and I said, then I'll promise you. I'm not going
to I reckon. I would have if it wasn't for him.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
And he's really kept you accountable, hasn't he in your.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Other night? Like we're still best mates. He's a legend
and any but he's instinct. I don't know, we were
just I don't know where he came from. Imagine I
didn't go to Terrago the night. Anyway, I was working.
About a year later, I got offered a job across
the road. He should drive me to work every day
and he was a landscaper, so he dropped me off,
packed me some lunch, and then about a year later
(23:34):
I got offered a job across the road because things
were like really racing along. Everyone's like, who's this guy
like finding all these leads because the home office that
I worked out of, which is across the road from
the strip of shops, it was like this little home
office thing. No one. No one really liked this lady
that much. I didn't know. I had no idea who
was what. But she started to list all these houses
(23:55):
because I was finding them all. So this other guy
across the road at peter Brand real Estate, he offered
me a job, and I was like, yeah, I'll go
across there because that was the side to be on.
That's where they're all the shops flat. I was like, oh, yeah,
I go there. Anyway, I got the bus home one
night and I'd gone from the caravan. I was engaged
to Karina by this point, and I rented a room
(24:18):
off this elderly lady who was like Way in her eighties.
Her name was Tina, friends of Karna's family. And I
get the bus home seven point thirty odd one night
was dark, and then walk in and the phone ringing
in Tina's house and I was a bit in hiding
like I was. I didn't go to Sydney for about
fifteen years. I get so much sweat on my hands.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I was just about to ask you, were you concerned
for your welfare now that you were starting to sort of,
I guess, become a part of society in what would
be classed as the normal way. You get up, you
go to work, you're a face, you're in the public,
you're not hiding from people. You're not in the dark
dingy little room. You're actually out there. And as you said,
walking the streets, you are a target. How did you
(25:00):
sort of mentally deal with that or was it still
that mindset of well it is it is.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
And I was so anxious. Yeah, I couldn't go anywhere,
like I list couldn't go anywhere, like just in my head,
wouldn't go to Sydney. We'll go near Sydney for so long. Yeah. Anyway,
I got the bus home walked into Tina's phone, ringing,
I pick it up and Ray from the Fish and
chip shop. He goes, hey, Matt, it's Ray from the
fish and chip shop. I'm like, Ray, how did you
(25:26):
even get this number? He was an ex heroin dealer
from the Cross. He was up there and hiding too.
I'm sure he was. Anyway, he's on methadone, you know
when people on Macedonia consider like. He tell a bit
and he's like, oh, anyway, he goes, mate, I said,
how'd you get the number? He goes, don't worry about that.
You've just been on Australia's Most Wanted. And I'm like,
(25:48):
what bugger? I'm like really, And then Karina's dad turns
up on the doorstep like five minutes later, huffing and puffing.
He ran down from their house streets away. The whole
family was watching the show. You know, it's the show
Australias Most Wanted.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
And back then everybody watched it because it was like,
well everybody knew somebody. I just wanted to see it
because it was one of those things that was never
spoken of.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
It was just.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Like all their six kids are this Mormon family parents
and the six kids all watching it and ip eiepop
and then he turns up and he goes, We've got
to talk, and I'm like yeah. He's like huffing and puffing,
and I'm like, yeah, we do. So I went and
handed myself back in in Sydney, went straight to court.
Karina's mum came and testified. Tina came and testified, and
(26:34):
she was amazing. She's up in the stand and she goes, oh,
that's such a lovely boy. Who feeds my cat. He
takes my washing out. And Karina's mum told a story.
I had ten bucks, that's all I had one day
to my name, and her son's bike got stolen, so
I went and bought one off someone for ten bucks.
And then she was telling the story and crying in
(26:56):
the stand. Anyway, at the end of the hearing, the
judge looks at me and she goes, Matt, you should
be going to jail for quite a few years today,
she said, but I just see some good in you,
and I'm going to give you a second chance. I
had to do community service for I don't know how
long it was. It was quite a long time. We
fell like forever. But while I was working as well,
and it took me eight years to pay back all
(27:18):
the fines that I got for all different things. But
she said to me, if I see you back here again,
you will go away for half of your life. That's
for sure. I walked out of the courtroom, got Karna's phone,
rang Dino and said, Mae, I'm going to make your promise.
I'm going to become astray as number one aged. I've
never broken it. I've just stayed on that path.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I love that the way that you glow when you
say that, you know, the look on no, I really do.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
And I think that you know, for anybody out there.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That's in a hole at the moment or feels systems
against them, the world's against they're in addiction, you know.
For me, having my background in the many years that
I was incarcerated to then you know, obviously being a
dad of four children, it's I think you don't break
if you make a promise. And for me, nine times
(28:09):
out of ten, I promise nothing because you can't guarantee it,
especially when it's something out of your control. You've literally
not once, but several times given Dino these promises, and
they are all positive promises of you moving forward in
such a productive way to become the man you are today.
Was there a time there, though, that you felt or
(28:31):
were in a situation where you may have broken that
promise and you've had to sit there and go, hang
on a seat.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
This is not good. I need to stay on that
straight line.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Not really. Like I relapsed drug wise a number of
times when I got shaws the first time and well
second time. I relapsed in the drug side, but the
work side, I never skipped the beat. I kept showing up.
I kept doing my thing. The drug thing took it went,
and then it had creep back in and then like
that took a long time to get Like now, if
(29:03):
I had a line of Koki and even Nellie touch it, but.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Well, you wouldn't know if it was coke these days,
So that's a good choice.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
I agree. I'm the same. I can tell you now, mate,
you can take it away, thanks.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Because now I'm attached to the outcome. And before I
took a long time to develop that muscle, like I'm
talking well into my forties. Yeah, well you know, and
it was drinking, like if I had one. I was
never a big drinker, but at one drink gone. Yeah,
forget it. I'm off with the train.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
I'm the same.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
It's either do or don't, and it's all in or nothing,
and you know, and it's sort of you got one
in one hand and the straw and the other, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
And it's just it's what happens and what becomes the norm.
So you know.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
And I have had this conversation recently with somebody who
reached out, and I just said, you've got to take
control and acknowledge it, accept it and just go I
don't do it. It's as simple as that. You can't
have it halfway and say that I'm okay. You're either
not okay and you don't do it, and you make
better choices.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Hence, let me look at your life, look where you today.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
Yeah, but I think it's a muscle. I think people
don't realize that. And not to labor the point, but
I was on the phone to someone yesterday, a gambler,
and I said, mate, you're going to fall off the
cart again, probably, but don't beat yourself up. Just get
up and you get a little bit stronger, and then
you get a little bit stronger. I think people think
they've got to just be you know, Matt or Brent.
It's like finished, you know, and it's I found with myself.
(30:27):
It was a muscle, But you can't use that as
an excuse. I'll go out and then I'll just try
it on Monday. I genuinely found when I got triggered,
I started to learn that there's definite triggers, like one
hundred percent. Yes, you go to a party and you
have a beer, You're going to get triggered. You go
through a painful thing like a divorce or a death
or something, your body's going to getriggered in different ways.
You know, look to ease it correct. So it took
(30:50):
me a long time to work that out.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I think the biggest thing there is understanding that it
is okay to trip and we all do it. Like
you just said, you know, like it hasn't been smooth sailing,
you've relapsed. I did see something just recently that was
a very valid point. And this is not to discredit
or take anything away from anybody whom is in recovery.
(31:13):
Credit to you, and I pray to God that you
find the strength to continue. But it was a label
and it's resonated with me, and I think that you
may respect. What I'm going to say here is that
you are a recovering addict. You're always going to be
a recovering addict. The gentleman who made that point in
(31:34):
this post is somebody who had an addiction with ice
and other drugs. He's in recovery. He has recently relapsed
some time in the last six months, which is okay,
it happens. Pick yourself up, let's start again, back to
ground zero and grow. But do we want to keep
being reminded that I'm an addict, I'm a junkie.
Speaker 4 (31:57):
You know. It's a good smack in the head.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
I guess to oneself at times if you can absorb
that and appreciate how far you've come from addiction. But
do you want to keep reminding yourself that you are
in a recovery position of addiction for life? I feel
that there's better ways of accepting and processing and moving forward.
(32:20):
Like for you, you're a successful businessman, you're a great father,
you're a good husband, there's so many more qualities. Or
do you go to your children and say, yeah, look,
dad's a recovering addict and just you know, just say
you understand it.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
You know, if your friends.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Have a party and they pull out a bag, just
you know, please don't pull.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
It in front. Do you understand where I'm coming from?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
And I think that mentally has a lot of weight
into how we move forward in life.
Speaker 5 (32:51):
Well, people talk about a diction like it's a disease
and it's not. And I'm only speaking from experience, you know.
People Sometimes people go, you're not a psychologist, You're not
this thing.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I'm not, No, but we lived experienced people who probably
have more experience than a psychologist.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
Addictions. It's just an interest, Like you're just interested in it,
like in anything. So it could be porn, it could
be surfing, it could be work, it could be anything.
It's just it's a personality type. You're interested in that
thing and you like it. That's why people become addicted.
They like it, you know, and you've just got to
shift it. And I think if you got that type
of personality, I need something to focus on.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Yes, I've always got to have a goal. I've always
got to have a goal. When I'd finished my last
sentence twenty fourteen, i'd finished six years for importation. Now
I came out with three years. I was under federal parole.
So it was three years and I needed purpose. I
had two children, oldest sons twenty six. I'd lost that relationship,
(33:45):
but my wife whom had our daughter, and then she
was pregnant when I was arrested, so she'd raised my
second son. I needed to be a dad. I needed
to learn to be a dad, a good husband, and
somebody whom my children could not just type the name
in and see this notorious this or you know X
this or X that whatever. And I thought, what can
(34:07):
I do? And as a survivor of suicidality, living with
mental health and like yourself, losing people close to you,
what could I do? What could I put into life
to make a difference through my own lived experience? And
I decided to ride a pushbike across Australia from east
to west and be the first to do it in
under fifty days and successfully did so. How then it
(34:30):
changed me and the depths I had to go to
to realize I never want to go back to those
places again and battle my inner demons, like I live
with mental health issues every day.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
We all do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Like I think that if you don't, that's exactly right,
let's just be honest. But how do you embrace it?
How do you make it your superpower? And how do
you become great? And how many times do we have
to trip over and go shit, that wasn't for me.
I'm not going to be that guy. I'm not going
to be the real estate aging in Australia or the
(35:04):
best podcast.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
Or you know, whatever it may be.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
The point is fucking get in there and have a
crack and put your heart and soul into something because
you will never know totally.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Well, I think you said, then Brent, it's like the
bike across Australia. What a great goal? Yeah like that, but.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
It was never enough, Matt.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
I had to go again, and then I did Tazzy
and then I started doing half Ironman's and then I
just like, no, good.
Speaker 5 (35:29):
So good. It's like you know the guy I was
talking Yesterdays twenty three and I said, well, what do
you like doing? He goes, I like, you couldn't, you
can't get off gambling and he goes, I like training.
I like personal training and said, well become that He's
he started having a bit of a spark in his voice.
I said, see, I'm just got to follow that. It's
like every step where every choice, it's either forwards or backwards.
That's the way I see it.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Now.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
I get on the steirmaster here it's a step forward,
but take a beer, it's a step backwards.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
That's how I say it, one hundred percent. And look, family,
I also think is a massive part. And for those
of us that are blessed to be fathers or mothers,
whether it be throughout our own children or step children,
we are leaders. We are what our children look up to.
Speaker 5 (36:09):
You know.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
I'm a big believer that I have.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
My sons are doing quite well in their sporting and
academics at the moment, in the elite programs, and I
expect certain levels of commitment from them and discipline. Who
am I to ask that of them? If I'm not
prepared to lead by showing that I get up at
four o'clock in the morning, I'll go run between ten
and twenty kilometers, you know, like even after a triple
(36:32):
spinal fusion, two blown knees, I'm still getting my ass
up and going. My fifteen year old son has seen
the growth and how much it's changed his life from
Oh dad, I can't be but it's too cold to now, Okay,
let's go to which his goal was a fifteen kilometer
run at the back end of last year in the preseason,
and he achieved it without even realizing it, because I
(36:55):
chose to just mentally ignore him along the way and
keep running and just say coming, son, you know, and
like it's got to the point where he's like, oh
my age you dad. You know, we stop looking at
the watch and he says, oh, what was that nine ten?
I said, no, Son, you just conquered fifteen and a
half to wow, you know. So from that moment, that
was an inspiring moment for Kishan to then want to
(37:15):
be great and want to be the best. He's seen
that that evolvement of just being a would I say,
if I put the effort in, if I commit, I
will get in return so much reward. Life is that
in a nutshell, isn't it it is?
Speaker 5 (37:32):
I think sometimes people make it bigger than it needs
to be. Just people underestimate the power of a small
daily win, just a small daily win, a whole series
of them. And I often say to people that a
fantastic year is just nothing more than having an outstanding
days three hundred and sixty five times, so you've got
to design it that way. Sometimes we think, oh, we've
(37:53):
got to be this perfect person down here, this successful.
It's too far away, it's too big. It's like you
don't do anything about it. But today I can do
a great morning routine. I can go kill it at work,
a prospecting, I can eat really well, I could not
touch the drink, have a wine down thing, bit of
time with the kids, and it's a great day. What
else in it?
Speaker 4 (38:11):
What is a day in the life of mat Now?
Speaker 5 (38:15):
I wake up naturally. I don't use an alarm clock,
because if you have to wake up with an alarm clock,
you're actually not ready to get up. So I get
up about five five thirty. Then I'll do some breathing,
ice bath, red light bed. It depends on how much
time I've got because I make breakfast, fatara and summer,
so I make sure they're got that. And by that time,
(38:37):
sometimes I do cardio, sometimes not depends what work's doing.
And then I'm off into work by about nine point
thirty ten o'clock somewhere there. Look, that's all these years later.
I used to work around the clock, which we can
talk about in the set, which wasn't great, but I
did it for a long time. So then I go
into work and then I train. I have a personal
gym at Tugra's like a factory, so I get there
(38:59):
by three o'clock and then I train there. I'm working
all day, but just on the phone. Really, I try
and do my appointments between ten and two o'clock. But
I have a good team around me.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
So just on that.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
You when we talk about being a leader, you've created
eighteen around you and your your visions and your beliefs
and structure of life, and how you have gotten to
where you are.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
Is that right?
Speaker 5 (39:23):
Yeah? When I got to I remember it so clearly.
Forty three. I went into the doctor's office one day
and look, I just wasn't feeling great. I was ninety
three kilos, I was surfing but tired all the time.
And he goes your quarter. You did a blood test
and things. He goes your Quartersolo is through the roof.
You've got no iron, you've got no testostera, and I
had no sex drive. Nothing. He goes, I'm even surprised
(39:44):
you're standing up, to be honest with you, But I
worked around the clock for twenty years and I'm talking
four thirty in the morning till eleven thirty at night
every day. So it served a purpose. I'm not winging
about it because it helped me build a pretty awesome
company now. But I paid the price. And I got
to that point where I'm like, I need to make
(40:04):
some changes, but I'm so busy, I've got no time.
And I was on this mental I just became the
number one at what I did agent but dying inside.
So I was like, I need to make some changes.
I could feel it, otherwise I think I'm going to
get sick or something like. I could just feel that
my body just wasn't going to keep going. And so
(40:25):
I decided to just go to the gym and do
thirty minutes on the treadmill every day. That's all I
started with. And as that went on, and then I
post it every day just to keep myself accountable. As
that went on, I did thirty one minutes, which meant
just do something for yourself. Then I started training a
bit more and when I was in the doctors, sorry,
he said, I do you want me to prescribe as
(40:45):
some testosterone? And I said how much? And He's like,
not my one milla weeks.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
I'm on the Primo program.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
I get the one the one meal every two weeks.
But did you know that they've now changed the boxes.
You can't buy three at a time anymore. Really, Oh, yes,
they've seen the value one meal three load.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Fucking mate. Honestly, all about.
Speaker 5 (41:08):
Down the testosterone route. And there's some good sports doctors
out there that are pretty good with stuff those ten
years ago. So I started testosterone and started all of
that and then slowly got into training again. Made a
bit of a mistake because my son, Logan, who killed
himself recently. I surfed with him every day, every day
since he was six years old, and so I stopped
(41:30):
surfing with him because he was like about eighteen by
this point, verging on a pro surfer. And then I
went training instead, and I think it really affected him.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Yeah, he lost his brother.
Speaker 5 (41:42):
It was a bit of a mistake I made, so
I stopped surfing, but I didn't have in my brain
I was like, well, I'm going to do that or
that like. So I said to Log's uka surfing in
the morning. So we surf every morning together, and I
said to those you're right surfing on your own He's like, yeah, yeah,
and it sort of wise, but I don't think he
was anyway. It's just something that changed in his life.
And then I just went right down that path. And
(42:03):
then I was looking at my time as the year
went on, I was like, I have to actually get
a hold of my time and structure the life that's
going to make me happy. Anything short of that I'm
not prepared to do. So that's where I was like,
I'm my best in the morning, so nine to one,
that's where my brain is best, or any appointments I
need to do usually are in there, and then morning
(42:25):
routine training, the ARVO, and then night routine. I don't
want another divorce, so I've got to give the family
a bit of time. So I'm trying to. I'm making
all that work, and now I've got a really good day.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
You know.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
I get to bed at nine nine point thirty every night.
I ate two meals a day. I know a lot
about gut health. Now I've got some great nutritionis around me.
I've gone right down that rabbit hole and I'm probably
functioning the best I've ever functioned in my life.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
I don't want to be in any way. Please tell
me to stop. But you just talked about a horrific
loss in your life. Yeah, some Mogan, and we weren't.
I don't want to go deep into that. That's something
here to respect. But how if I may ask, And
I did actually see that time.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
I did watch your posts and I was.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
I was absolutely affected in the way that it was triggering,
and as a dad, I felt for you. We didn't
know each other, and I just was like, wow, but
the way that you showed your emotion and came to
just I guess living now and accepting, how how did
you do that?
Speaker 4 (43:37):
Matt If I made plan, it.
Speaker 5 (43:38):
Was very it was very tricky. We stopped talking Logan
and I. So we, out of all the kids at
the time, Logan I were probably the closest because we
spent every day together.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
So was he your second child out of it? Okay?
Speaker 5 (43:52):
So what happened? Like I had three real young like
after the first two, I said to Koreana, I don't
have any more kids. We don't even get along. Don't
have more kids. And then so you literally felt pregnant,
like just straight away after that, she just you walked
past this, she fell pregnant, and then I was separated.
From Karina. I was like, I can't do this, Like
I was so young, I had so much. I hadn't
even dealt with myself. I didn't know that at the time.
(44:14):
So I moved out and I was moving in and out,
in and out, in and out, trying to make it work,
trying to not And about a year later, after she
fell pregnant the second time, I went on a vendor
and I rang it. The next day, I said come over,
and she came over and fell pregnant with Logan. So
I was starting to see someone else by this point,
and so she was pregnant, I was seeing somebody else.
(44:36):
Talk about a mess like ge and then Logan was born,
and I didn't really like For the first couple of years,
I wasn't really super attached because it was like just
my whole life is a mess everywhere, and I was
just trying to keep everyone running, you know, child support
and house and this and that anyway, building a business.
I was just like relentless. And because she came to
(44:58):
the office one day and she pulls up and she
goes come down. We got on pretty good, but we
just didn't at the same time. So there's a bit
volatiles and she shows me the pregnancy thing and I'm
like what does that mean? And she is I'm pregnant.
I'm like how and she's like well that night like
that one night, I'm like, nah, you're joking. There must
(45:19):
be somebody else's or something like this, and she's like
it's yours and I'm like gee. So anyway, Logs was born,
and then about three years in I was like, it's
such a cute little kid. And then I'd stop surfing
for about fifteen years and Shelley, my second wife, said
you should start surfing again, and I was thought about
it and thought about it. I said, I'm going to
be a real cook. Am I supposed to start surfing
(45:41):
because I was never amazing? But I was all right.
And then I used to go up the North Entrance
in the dark, five in the morning and just surf
on my own and teach myself again. But then Logan
got to about five years old and I took him
to the beach one day in the rock pool and
I saw him stand on the surfboard. I'm like, there's
something with this kid and this surfing and just a
little foam thing and pushing it it's the way he
(46:02):
stood anyway. So I started more and more, and then
as he got older, he was surfing in my back
and then you know, I'd take him out and for
three years I just wear flippers, and then taught him
out a surf. Yes, I was bobbing around one time
and it was winter freezing and I had slippers on
and knees surfing. It would have been I don't know six.
This time this guy paddles. He goes, mate, you need
a freaking trophy. He goes, you're bobbling around out here.
(46:27):
Surf is pretty big. He goes bobbing around out his
women in and out getting this kid. Anyway, Logan just
had something different about him with the surf. Ever, since
he was real young, mate, he was serving the biggest waves.
It was sketchy but probably bad parenting, but anyway, he
just had this talent that was like, well, everyone loved
watching him surfing in the power he had.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
That's the first part of our conversation with Matt Steinwade.
In part two will dive deeper into his journey as
a father, the heartbreaking loss of his son, and how
he rebuilt his life with purpose.
Speaker 4 (46:57):
That's coming next. Week. Don't miss it fort a record.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Don't try and make you out comfortable for a record,
trying to grow down the stuff for you.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Right for the record, live on me, going all the
way for the record.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Ain't trying to link, no, trying to waste, stop.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
All that for the record, for the record. Yeah for
the for the record, for the record. Yea for the record,
for the record.
Speaker 5 (47:31):
H m hmmmm hmm
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