December 31, 2025 • 9 mins
Across the last 19 seasons of the Clink, We have had some really raw conversations. This is one of most listened to episodes with Josh Datant (Part 2).
In this recap of The Clink we explore part 2 of Josh Datánt's story, taking us on his pathway to redemption after struggling with addiction.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appoche production. The heroine I had at the time was
cut with ventanyl, so there was ventanyl in it too.
But I gave a friend to ride did the methadone
clinic one morning, and I pulled into this neighborhood and
(00:27):
I just I decided, right then and there, I was
going to kill myself. I was over it. I was done.
My brother died, I got stabbed, I got shot. I
abandoned my son and just completely neglected him in all responsibilities.
I lost a career in the music business, which is
something I dreamed of having ever since a little kid.
I did everything wrong and there was no point to
(00:47):
have me around. I figured, you know, like, what good
was I? Yeah? Horrible, horrible, horrible human being. And I
couldn't go to my brother's funeral. I never went because
if I went a I would show up either high
or dope sick. And I wasn't going to disrespect my
brother like that. I wasn't going to show up to
his funeral higher or withdrawing from heroin, and I certainly
(01:08):
wasn't going to be seen by everybody who knew what
it was with me. Yeah. So I'm in this neighborhood
and I I cockt this high point three eighty and
high point three eighties are cheap. They're historically cheap pieces
of shit. And the gun jammed, and I'm sitting there
and I'm banging the gun and I can't get it
to work, and I'm trying to click and it won't go,
(01:29):
and uh, I do a bunch of heroin, I do
a bunch of meths. And I'm just sitting there trying
to get the gun to work, and I slip and
I fall forward and the gun goes off right next
to my ear and just completely whizzes by my ear.
It actually burned the tip of my ear lobe.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
How did you not sort of die from the hot
racing to hot slow to hot raising, I don't. That's
a fucking cocktail that's just distant for death.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Well, so what happened was I literally went boom and
it goes off. Next minut I went, whoa, so you're
on the norright, and I yes, I was nodding off
and it went off right past me, and I just go,
oh my god, Okay, so I completely changed my mind.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I don't know if you're whoa.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
All of a sudden, all of a sudden all the
drugs and the adrenaline kick in and I overamp and
I fall asleep. I passed out from how crazy the
high was like from the gun going off. My heart's
just beating out of my chest. The mats the heroine
and I had been up for three or four days
as it was. And I fall asleep and I wake
up to sir, could you open the door please? And
(02:35):
it's the cops, and I went, oh, no, you know,
I sunk. I fell in my chair and I just
slumped back.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
So the gun would have still been there. Everything would
have been exposed. Everything's right there, nothing hidden, it's tucked away.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's right there, and they see it and they grabbed.
They go, gon, gone gun. They grabbed me. They immediately
put me in cups and they're like, what are you doing?
Your piece of shit, you know, And they they pulled
me back and they put me in the back of
the car and then they pulled me out and this
guy goes, what are you doing here? And I just
look at him. I go, I was trying to kill myself, man,
And he goes what and I go, yeah, I was
(03:09):
trying to kill myself. I'm a junkie, I'm a loser.
I have nowhere to live, I have nowhere to go.
I have no family, I have no friends. I abandon everybody.
I abandoned my kid. I abandon my life so that
I could be a drug addict. My brother just died
and I couldn't even go to the funeral because I'm
(03:30):
a worthless piece of shit junkie. And I go, just
please take me to jail, please, please, so I can
go kill myself there like I'm going to hang myself
as soon as I get there. I don't even care.
I don't care what you do, I don't care what
you say. Just please get me out of here, please.
I don't want to do this anymore. And he looked
at me and he puts me back in the car
and he comes and he pulls me out again, and
he says, do you have anybody who I can call
(03:51):
to verify all this information? I go, you want to
verify that I just tried to kill myself And he goes, no,
it's just that your brother died and that you're well.
He goes, we know you're a drug addict because we
found the drugs. I said, you can call me mom,
but honestly, she's so sick of getting phone calls from
police officers, she'll probably hang up on you. So he
puts me in the car. He calls and he's on
(04:13):
the phone, so I knew he was talking to somebody.
And we get in the car and he goes, okay,
off we go. And I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know what to do. But I had this
moment of clarity and I just I sat back and
I started crying, and I prayed. I prayed harder than
I've ever prayed in my life, and I just said, God,
(04:33):
I changed my mind. I don't want to go to jail.
I don't want to go to prison. I don't want
to do any of this anymore. If you get me
at this somehow, some way, by some divine miracle, I'll
call my mom as soon as I get to jail.
I'll ask her to get me a bond so I
can bond out. And I swear I give my word
to you, if you're out there, I will make every
(04:57):
and all efforts to really really try to be sober.
Now I'm sick of this. I cannot do this anymore. Hi, brother,
just on that powerful is pray.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't I don't give a fuck who you are.
You cannot sit there and tell me that in your
darkest moments you've not turned around and looked and just
put your hands up and said, Lord help me, God,
give me some sort of strangle my. I love what
you're saying right now, brother, and I'm feeling it.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Well. What happened was and I'm praying, and I'm thinking,
I'm gonna go to jail no matter what. I mean.
An ounce of heroin, a half ounce of meth. Guns
as a felon. I'm a felon. I'm not supposed to
be in the possession of guns. I've been arrested for
gun charges before, so that's already. I've got checks that
aren't mine. I've got fraudulent and I've been arrested for
(05:48):
that shit too, for fraud, for mail theft. I had
a bunch of mail that wasn't mine, from stealing credit
cards out of people's mailboxes. And no matter what I'm
thinking to myself, I'm going to jail, but if I
can get a bond, and at this point I'm on probation,
so if I get another charge, I'm going to prison
no matter what. So I'm praying for God to get
me a bond in time so I can get out
(06:10):
and at least try to get myself into treatment or
some sort of a program so I can make this right.
I'm praying and I'm just and I meant it. I
meant everywhere I said, I'm sick of this. I'm so
sorry to you God it. I really will try as
hard as I can to lead a clean life moving forward.
Please help me. I don't want to do this anymore.
(06:31):
So we pull up and I get out and I
see this building I don't recognize. And I've been to
jail enough times to know what the jail looks like
and where it is. And I just looked at the
cop and I go, where are we? And he goes
right at the Southwest East A Hospital and I go,
what the fuck are we doing here? And he goes,
I'm taking you here to detox and get a psyche
val and I go, so, how long is that? And
(06:53):
he goes seventy two hours? And I go, so I
go to jail in seventy two hours and he goes,
I'm not taking you to jail, And I said what,
And he goes, I'm not taking you to jail he goes, Listen,
I've seen your record. It's obvious jail doesn't work. I
think we ought to try something new and different with you,
and I just I couldn't believe it. He goes, and
(07:13):
your mother really misses you, and so does your son.
You're letting a lot of people down. And I just
looked at him and I started crying and I said
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. And he knew
I wasn't talking to him. I was talking through him
to my family, and I wanted to say thank you,
but I just kept saying I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
(07:34):
And he said, listen, man, I'm giving you an opportunity
here to do the right thing. Please don't blow it,
he goes, because if I ever catch you out on
the streets again, I promise you I will lock you
up for every single last thing I can find. If
you have a joint, I will make sure they throw
the book at you. Like you have people that love
and care about you, and this is your chance to
(07:55):
really turn the things around and make a change in
your life. Now, I've been arrested for assaulting a police
officer before. Okay, I've been arrested for spinning on a
police officer before cops hate me. They see my record,
they take one look at me, and they just can't
stay me. Bit I'm telling you right now, I am
here to say that prayer does work when you really
mean it. Because I prayed and my prayers were immediately answered.
(08:18):
I thought it was going to go to jail and
hopefully just get a bond and have to beat the
motion to revoke my probation. But it was so much
better than that. Instead of taking me to jail at all,
he took me to a detox facility and he gave
me a chance to start anew and I believe that
was my higher power working through him.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So I get there and a day and a half in,
I'm dope sick. I'm withdrawing from heroin and fentanyl. And
fentanyl is the worst. It is literally like having the
most intense orgasm you've ever had in your entire life
for twenty minutes straight. I mean, it's incredible, but the
withdrawals are just I mean, people say I wouldn't wish
(08:58):
that on my worst enemy. I would wish that on
my worst enemy because they're so value. You know, the
land proplah proplahate no tromos
Appoche production. The heroine I had at the time was
cut with ventanyl, so there was ventanyl in it too.
But I gave a friend to ride did the methadone
clinic one morning, and I pulled into this neighborhood and
(00:27):
I just I decided, right then and there, I was
going to kill myself. I was over it. I was done.
My brother died, I got stabbed, I got shot. I
abandoned my son and just completely neglected him in all responsibilities.
I lost a career in the music business, which is
something I dreamed of having ever since a little kid.
I did everything wrong and there was no point to
(00:47):
have me around. I figured, you know, like, what good
was I? Yeah? Horrible, horrible, horrible human being. And I
couldn't go to my brother's funeral. I never went because
if I went a I would show up either high
or dope sick. And I wasn't going to disrespect my
brother like that. I wasn't going to show up to
his funeral higher or withdrawing from heroin, and I certainly
(01:08):
wasn't going to be seen by everybody who knew what
it was with me. Yeah. So I'm in this neighborhood
and I I cockt this high point three eighty and
high point three eighties are cheap. They're historically cheap pieces
of shit. And the gun jammed, and I'm sitting there
and I'm banging the gun and I can't get it
to work, and I'm trying to click and it won't go,
(01:29):
and uh, I do a bunch of heroin, I do
a bunch of meths. And I'm just sitting there trying
to get the gun to work, and I slip and
I fall forward and the gun goes off right next
to my ear and just completely whizzes by my ear.
It actually burned the tip of my ear lobe.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
How did you not sort of die from the hot
racing to hot slow to hot raising, I don't. That's
a fucking cocktail that's just distant for death.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Well, so what happened was I literally went boom and
it goes off. Next minut I went, whoa, so you're
on the norright, and I yes, I was nodding off
and it went off right past me, and I just go,
oh my god, Okay, so I completely changed my mind.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I don't know if you're whoa.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
All of a sudden, all of a sudden all the
drugs and the adrenaline kick in and I overamp and
I fall asleep. I passed out from how crazy the
high was like from the gun going off. My heart's
just beating out of my chest. The mats the heroine
and I had been up for three or four days
as it was. And I fall asleep and I wake
up to sir, could you open the door please? And
(02:35):
it's the cops, and I went, oh, no, you know,
I sunk. I fell in my chair and I just
slumped back.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
So the gun would have still been there. Everything would
have been exposed. Everything's right there, nothing hidden, it's tucked away.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's right there, and they see it and they grabbed.
They go, gon, gone gun. They grabbed me. They immediately
put me in cups and they're like, what are you doing?
Your piece of shit, you know, And they they pulled
me back and they put me in the back of
the car and then they pulled me out and this
guy goes, what are you doing here? And I just
look at him. I go, I was trying to kill myself, man,
And he goes what and I go, yeah, I was
(03:09):
trying to kill myself. I'm a junkie, I'm a loser.
I have nowhere to live, I have nowhere to go.
I have no family, I have no friends. I abandon everybody.
I abandoned my kid. I abandon my life so that
I could be a drug addict. My brother just died
and I couldn't even go to the funeral because I'm
(03:30):
a worthless piece of shit junkie. And I go, just
please take me to jail, please, please, so I can
go kill myself there like I'm going to hang myself
as soon as I get there. I don't even care.
I don't care what you do, I don't care what
you say. Just please get me out of here, please.
I don't want to do this anymore. And he looked
at me and he puts me back in the car
and he comes and he pulls me out again, and
he says, do you have anybody who I can call
(03:51):
to verify all this information? I go, you want to
verify that I just tried to kill myself And he goes, no,
it's just that your brother died and that you're well.
He goes, we know you're a drug addict because we
found the drugs. I said, you can call me mom,
but honestly, she's so sick of getting phone calls from
police officers, she'll probably hang up on you. So he
puts me in the car. He calls and he's on
(04:13):
the phone, so I knew he was talking to somebody.
And we get in the car and he goes, okay,
off we go. And I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know what to do. But I had this
moment of clarity and I just I sat back and
I started crying, and I prayed. I prayed harder than
I've ever prayed in my life, and I just said, God,
(04:33):
I changed my mind. I don't want to go to jail.
I don't want to go to prison. I don't want
to do any of this anymore. If you get me
at this somehow, some way, by some divine miracle, I'll
call my mom as soon as I get to jail.
I'll ask her to get me a bond so I
can bond out. And I swear I give my word
to you, if you're out there, I will make every
(04:57):
and all efforts to really really try to be sober.
Now I'm sick of this. I cannot do this anymore. Hi, brother,
just on that powerful is pray.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't I don't give a fuck who you are.
You cannot sit there and tell me that in your
darkest moments you've not turned around and looked and just
put your hands up and said, Lord help me, God,
give me some sort of strangle my. I love what
you're saying right now, brother, and I'm feeling it.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Well. What happened was and I'm praying, and I'm thinking,
I'm gonna go to jail no matter what. I mean.
An ounce of heroin, a half ounce of meth. Guns
as a felon. I'm a felon. I'm not supposed to
be in the possession of guns. I've been arrested for
gun charges before, so that's already. I've got checks that
aren't mine. I've got fraudulent and I've been arrested for
(05:48):
that shit too, for fraud, for mail theft. I had
a bunch of mail that wasn't mine, from stealing credit
cards out of people's mailboxes. And no matter what I'm
thinking to myself, I'm going to jail, but if I
can get a bond, and at this point I'm on probation,
so if I get another charge, I'm going to prison
no matter what. So I'm praying for God to get
me a bond in time so I can get out
(06:10):
and at least try to get myself into treatment or
some sort of a program so I can make this right.
I'm praying and I'm just and I meant it. I
meant everywhere I said, I'm sick of this. I'm so
sorry to you God it. I really will try as
hard as I can to lead a clean life moving forward.
Please help me. I don't want to do this anymore.
(06:31):
So we pull up and I get out and I
see this building I don't recognize. And I've been to
jail enough times to know what the jail looks like
and where it is. And I just looked at the
cop and I go, where are we? And he goes
right at the Southwest East A Hospital and I go,
what the fuck are we doing here? And he goes,
I'm taking you here to detox and get a psyche
val and I go, so, how long is that? And
(06:53):
he goes seventy two hours? And I go, so I
go to jail in seventy two hours and he goes,
I'm not taking you to jail, And I said what,
And he goes, I'm not taking you to jail he goes, Listen,
I've seen your record. It's obvious jail doesn't work. I
think we ought to try something new and different with you,
and I just I couldn't believe it. He goes, and
(07:13):
your mother really misses you, and so does your son.
You're letting a lot of people down. And I just
looked at him and I started crying and I said
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. And he knew
I wasn't talking to him. I was talking through him
to my family, and I wanted to say thank you,
but I just kept saying I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
(07:34):
And he said, listen, man, I'm giving you an opportunity
here to do the right thing. Please don't blow it,
he goes, because if I ever catch you out on
the streets again, I promise you I will lock you
up for every single last thing I can find. If
you have a joint, I will make sure they throw
the book at you. Like you have people that love
and care about you, and this is your chance to
(07:55):
really turn the things around and make a change in
your life. Now, I've been arrested for assaulting a police
officer before. Okay, I've been arrested for spinning on a
police officer before cops hate me. They see my record,
they take one look at me, and they just can't
stay me. Bit I'm telling you right now, I am
here to say that prayer does work when you really
mean it. Because I prayed and my prayers were immediately answered.
(08:18):
I thought it was going to go to jail and
hopefully just get a bond and have to beat the
motion to revoke my probation. But it was so much
better than that. Instead of taking me to jail at all,
he took me to a detox facility and he gave
me a chance to start anew and I believe that
was my higher power working through him.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So I get there and a day and a half in,
I'm dope sick. I'm withdrawing from heroin and fentanyl. And
fentanyl is the worst. It is literally like having the
most intense orgasm you've ever had in your entire life
for twenty minutes straight. I mean, it's incredible, but the
withdrawals are just I mean, people say I wouldn't wish
(08:58):
that on my worst enemy. I would wish that on
my worst enemy because they're so value. You know, the
land proplah proplahate no tromos
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