Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to This Is Chaos. I feel like we're
getting into the rhythm of things, you know.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I feel like we're flowing and we're evolving, and it's
kind of a vibe.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yeah, getting more familiar with one another. We're not talking
over one another as much.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I don't think the talking over each other is bad.
I feel like it's just like that's how we usually talk.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
We love a good yarn, We love to chat.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
My birthday celebrations went on for a few weeks, Jacob.
So now we're transitioning into our.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Health eraror we are in our healthy era. We go
for walk not only for the.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Physical but also the mind, the soul. I feel like
we need to do a Bali retreat.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I've always wanted to do one of those spiritual retreats.
Can we get flown there?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yeah, imagine if we can do like a This Is
Chaos on tour.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes, yes, in Bali, and we can get one they
called monks, and we can get a monk to like
fix us and heal us. The healing thing.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I've seen it all over TikTok and literally the people
surrender and you.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Just hear they look like.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And I feel like we want to do that.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yes, because I want to do that.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
My brain is like due to brain.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I'm a bit scared to go to Bali though, because
my mom thinks I'm going to like come back like
youby and I'm like, mom, I've got nothing.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Three hours from Perth. That is like the thing to do.
It's like you go to Bali so often it's the
best trip. I really want to do it.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
From Perth essentially goes there.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But in saying that, we do need a bit of
and get into our healthier ways. So instead of having
tequila shots, we're going to do some.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Some health shots, some health shots shot to.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Pick these ones up. We're getting your brain power super
shot going.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I don't like ginger, but anyway, it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Wait, you gotta shake, got to shake it shakescheck shake shakeshake,
shake shakeshak shakes.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
This has ginger. I can't even pronounce the name.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
These always taste sober. Can they make them to like
taste really good, like imagine like a nice strawberry key
wee flavor or something I don't know even being just.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Healthy if it didn't taste the way it's about to taste.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Cheer, Cheers, it's very gingery.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Let's go see. Yeah, the kick, the kick in the end,
I still got one more to go. Oh, you're meant
to shot at all? That's what a shot is supposed
to be.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I know, but I wasn't sure. It might just come
out of my mouth.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I could have spat it out and it would have
gone all over this beautiful cow and the microphone and
on my clothes.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
So wow, slut shaming. What like Drake canceled his fucking
tall because of you.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Did?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
According to the media out let's yeah, ah.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Wait, wait, wait, we have to set it up what
we're talking about, Jacob.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
That's what proper podcasters do. We can't just jump straight
into it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
So we're laughing this week about all the crazy rumors
and fake stories that I've read about myself over the
past few months, and so many of them were focused
around celebs I met and worked in America, blah blah
blah blah blah, rappers I may have gotten closer to,
and then just so much slut shaming. So let's unpack
all of that, because apparently all everyone wants to talk
(03:26):
about other rumors and the rappers. Tell me the story,
tell me, I'm shaming of Quavo Drake.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
You slept all these rappers, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
I can't help myself.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I lived in America. When you live in America, the
people that walk down the street are somewhat famous. Like
you're at a cafe and you might be having lunch
right next to Chris Hem's words. They all live in
the Big States, New York, Miami, LA.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
It's very common, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So obviously when I was living there, I was working
for clothing brand called Suebi and I opened up that
store in soho Ye soue Be if you don't know,
they sell denim. They're an Australian brand. And I managed
to get that job. And it wasn't a normal boutique
experience like you go to Westfield Bondi Junction and you're
shopping there. No, we would have like athletes come in
(04:29):
and purchase things. We would have big influencers, rappers, stylists
for you know, influential.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
So you met a lot of different.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah, and obviously what because I love talking to people
and meeting people, and so they invite you to things.
They invite you when it's fashion week.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Let's go, what's the biggest event that you've ever gotten
invited to like just out of straight out of the bat.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Oh my gosh, there's so.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Many, Like what's one memorable?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
The biggest one was probably the end of the NBA
season and I got invited to Marquees nightclub where Drake
and NBA came together and put on this massive party.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
It was very exclusive. It was only for like the
corporate industry.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
You and Drake go like way back.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's where I met him, and you know who I
met their post Malone with my girlfriend Sarah, who I
lived in New York with. She worked for a fashion
PRF and she was Australian from Peth, So obviously again
I got introduced to her when I moved THEX. I
didn't know anyone and so we gravitated towards one another.
And she worked in the PR industry in fashion, so
she would get invited and do a lot of events
(05:37):
for her job and invite me and we'd go to
all the spots. You know.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So I met post Malone started in bed.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I got with posts well, I mean everyone thinks so like.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Twenty seventeen and he was just popping off. He had
a conversation with us saying that oh, I just came
off the subway, like he brought the subway to the event.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
That's how chill couple exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
And it was like, I remember the arcades were there.
I remember people were playing ping pong and lots of
alcohol free pouring. Nicki Minaj was there, CARTI b all
these big celebrities were all under one roof and I
just had the best time. And Drake was there, and
that's when I met him and his crew. Anyway, long
story short, that was probably the biggest thing I've ever done.
(06:28):
But I remember I met Sophia Richie in Uh. She
is a vibe. This was probably before her.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Dating era.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I remember we went to a restaurant and there was
like an outdoor bar and we were hanging out on
the bar. I was with my girlfriends and she was
there and she was having a cigarette with her girlfriend
that just moved to New York. So she was there
with her friend. Her girlfriend was going to r my
T or something, one of the big Parsons Parsons fashion schools,
(07:03):
and so we had a conversation. I asked her, I
was like, can do you have a cigarette?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I could have and she smoked, I.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Know smoke, but you know I was in that era.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Just give me a cigarette.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, and she goes, wait one sex, So she went
to her table inside got a cigarette for that.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I would have been like.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Cast me a cigarette. And we were having just a
general conversation. It was the coolest thing. She was so
down to earth, so chill, so lovely, and we just vibed.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
But yeah, So taking me back.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
To Drake the whole thing. When he came to tour
in Australia. Obviously, my girlfriend Chloe, who I also met
living in London because when I couldn't live in America anymore,
I came back to Australia and then I moved to
London because it was an easier visa to get and
I was with my girlfriend Chloe. She's Australian but was
living there at the time, and she knows Drake's crew
(07:55):
also and has toured with them and partied and all
that kind of thing. So when he was coming to
do his Australian tour, she was like, kreaner, we're being invited.
We're going to go on tour with him and his
crew because she's friends with so many of like the
soundos his real like close friends the people that he
lives with, that kind of thing, and anyway, I was
like sweet, no worries.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
So she came to Perth and that's where we started.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Wait, this was like when Maffs finished airing. Is that
was that that time?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
It was the beginning of this year. So I think
around February.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yeah, February sorry yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, getting so he came. He was doing like a
six week two way. It was crazy in all different states.
So he first came to Perth and I remember Chloe
came over and we through our connections, we were invited
to an intimate dinner at Pappy Katsuit. It was was
a weird Okay, first of all, it was wild because
(08:53):
it was lich. I felt like it was like fangirl
moment where it was a big group ye vibes and
not into that.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
I used to do that when.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I was in my twenties living in America, but I'm
too old for that. But there was literally a table
of like us eight girls and then his right like
right hand man, Michael and who organizes all the venues,
who essentially organizes the girls, and I know the owner
(09:22):
of Pappy Katsu and perts. So his crew told me
about this and then this was how it all happened.
But Drake was actually in like a private room, but
he would walk through and chat to us.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
So we did he say anything to you?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, because Michael was like, Michael was like to Drake
while I was sitting and I was just like being.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Cool, being myself, not fangirly. I don't give a shit about.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Him, like I We're just you know, I've been around
this environment. The last thing you do is fangirl. Just
be yourself. And you know, we had dinner. There were
drinks pouring. They're like whatever you want, like don Julio,
we're doing shots. And then Drake would come out and
he would be like talking to us because I was
like becoming friends with Michael. He was a really nice
(10:04):
dude and telling me about history and how he started
working for Drake. He's from the hospitality world and Drake
he used to work and an Italian restaurant for like
ten years and that was Drake's favorite restaurant when he
was in Toronto, and he was like, mate, I want
you to work for me. So now that's what he does.
And Drake, I remember, came up to the table and
Michael's like, look Drake, like she's on a reality show
(10:26):
as well, and I was like.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
No, no, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
I was like no, and then he was like come
to the back room, and then you guys slept together
and you know, the whole it was.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Kind I was like no, I don't want him to
think that I'm I'm like trying to be too much
or I was like no, no, I was down playing it
because like that's not cool kind of thing. Anyway, long
story short, we get invited to all the shows. We
go to the shows, then you go to the after
parties and more girls, more girls, more girls. That it's
scary how obsessed girls can be over such a big,
(10:57):
crazy celebrity. And it's like you have to chill. You
need to play, like play it cool, do your thing
like it's embarrassing. You can see when it's too much clinginess.
Right Anyway, So then we went to Melbourne and did
Melbourne and then Gold Coast and that was fun, like
we hung out multiple times and we're all in the
(11:21):
same room and that kind of thing. But he's and
then in Perth we all had lunch together. But he's
just very keeps to himself. He's super low key under
the raidar. He loves looking at his phone. I'm also
good friends with Carnage, who I met living in America,
and Carnage is one of his best friends. And he
came on the tour, but he had to like pop
in and now because he was going and traveling. So
(11:43):
I was having more conversations with Carnage. His name's now Gordo,
but when I met him in New York years ago,
his name was DJ Carnage. So he does like, yeah,
loads of festivals and stuff and more.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Like electronic music.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And he's part of Drake's latest album, not Party next
Door but the one before. And so I had good
conversations with Gordo, and yeah, that's you know, it's crazy,
like the industry in New York and LA.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
It's such a small pool.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Everyone knows everyone, you meet them, and that's just how
it goes. It's kind of like the way it is, right.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Do you think like when rappers or celebrities or high
profile people like invite all of these girls to an event,
do you think that they want like they invite them
to sleep with them.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Not necessarily, No, I think it's more of just a
comfort thing because they travel so much and they're always.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
On the twit.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I mean, I would just want to have my friends
around me.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yeah, but they do have their friends, but also they're
from another country. They do love Australian people and that
it's all new for them, right, So I think they
just really want the company and they want the vibe
and that kind of thing. But obviously the girls think
that they're going to sleep with him or be the
one that he'll choose. But nine times out of ten
(13:06):
he will go home by himself and he's very selective
or he you know that that's just from what I've witnessed,
Like he's never really with girls like he's with the
boys and then they hop and do their thing and
he will like bop in and out and and you know,
it's just weird.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
I don't know, it's hard to explain.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
But so basically to put everything into context, you didn't
sleep with Drake.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
No, I did see with Drake.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
But these slut shaming comments.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
It's because I'm friends and I have like the same
association group. People just are so quick to judge. But
Quavo in saying that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
So what happened with what happened with because like I's
gonna kill me.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Look, I lived in America.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
It was bound to happen.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
So what happened was when I was working at Suebi,
we had Junes. So June's came in and I had
no idea who he was. He was Migos group stylist
back in twenty eighteen and they it was a New
York Fashion Week and he was like coming in as
a hurry and he was like, I'm styling.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Did you get like poached? Like did are you like
she's the girl that I want tonight?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I don't know what essentially was like that, but we
were just vibing, like we were all in at the w
in New York. Anyway, I'm going too far ahead. So
I remember Junes came in and he was styling and
dressing Migos and so we put together a bunch of
different outfits for him to pull and get and give them.
So give the Migos to wear for fashion week and
(14:41):
Rihanna as well, and so he got my number and
then of course they come into the city. They asked
you to hang out. So he was like, what are
you guys doing after? And I was like, I've got
my girlfriends, like let's all hang out. And so they
tell us to go to the W. So I'm with
my girlfriend Holly, and I was like, we're getting in vine.
I had to go to the W and hang out
(15:03):
with MiGs, and I remember, I remember this like crazy.
We go to the W Hotel in Times Square. I
don't know why they stayed.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
There, and we you know, where we go.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
And the boys like come and get us. And then
we get in the big sprint events and we're going
to a club. So we all go to a club together.
But I mean it was like the ghetto, the ghetto club.
It wasn't like a pod. Yeah, so obviously we felt
safe because there was so much security. Yeah, there was
so much security, but there was loads of fans and
(15:38):
it was popping off this club. So we just hang around,
We do our thing, We get drinks and blah blah
blah blah blah. Long story short, we end up going
back to the W and because it's just like it's
not a transactional thing. It's more like if they vibe
with you, they see you like yeah accent yeah, And
long story short, we ended up going back to the
(16:00):
hotel room and.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
He was like, I choose you you're my girl, for.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I had such good conversations with him, and I wasn't
sure about that. I remember we were in his room
and he was taking off all his jury and he
was putting, you think I'm going to steal your jury,
because good good life, I'm dead, because I was.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Like, I'm my own human, I'm I work hard from me.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Were you kind of freaking out there? Like when he
was like getting ready, were you like.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Drunk? And then I remember the mini bar. I was
so nervous. So we need we need some we need
some shots.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
So I opened the mini bar and we're having some
shots and he was putting his very expensive bling bling
down jewry away and I was like, if you think
you're I'm going to steal that, I'm not the girl anyone.
I just don't know, like because they don't know who
to trust. He doesn't know me from a bar of
so we've just connected and mingled. Long story short, we
(16:51):
had fun and I knew I wasn't going to marry
that person, but it was something that I don't know
alcohol was involved. It was a fun thing to do,
but I mean it's not a forever thing. And I
experienced the best life living in America, and I would
always tell my younger self, like live your life, go
(17:15):
do those things everyone doesn't in other parts of the world,
like different cultures and different nationalities and different situations, like
it's the best thing.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
You learned so much, But I was always safe. That's
the thing.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Like what I got up to in living in America
was fucking wild things that people could only imagine and
dream about. I experienced them, and I put myself in
that situation. But it's made me who I am today.
And you know, if anything, when I have children, I
want to encourage them to take that opportunity and the
leap of faith of doing what's going to make you
(17:52):
happy and explore. Go study in another country or another state.
Don't settle in our hometown. Think outside the BB, Like
take this opportunity. You never know where it could bring you.
And I would want to be right besides my kids
and do that with them.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Be like I'm coming with you.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I'm coming with you to yeah literally, but obviously everything
you know in moderation, and be like have your wits
about it like I was. Honestly, God had a bubble
around me and protected me. I remember when I first
moved to New York. My friend who I went to
UNI and college with, I was staying with him for
(18:32):
a few weeks and he was so lovely. He I
rock up to his apartment in Brooklyn, right Bushwick, Brooklyn.
And now if people don't know too much about.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
It, no, it's not.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It's very up and coming. It's it's kind of like
very like grunge but cool vibes. And you know, you
got like hispanic but egg is on the side. There's
all different cultures around there. But you know, he gave
me a what was it called a pepper spray can
(19:04):
and I was like, wait what, I was like peper
someone in case in case, because I was getting the
subway from Manhattan to Brooklyn. It was the L train
and it was such a fun time. But that's how
I would get into work and when I got my
job and that kind of thing. And he gave me
a purpose brain and I was like, why do I
need this? Like I've come from Australia. You don't think
about how people have done. Accessibilities, like it's quite dangerous
(19:28):
in the States and all those types of things. There's
so it's overpopulated. There's so many people in Perth. I
come from a city where there's like what three and
a half million people, I don't I don't know the statistics,
but in New York, you, oh, there's so many people.
So yeah, he was I think he was doing it
from a safety point of view being a female. But
again I was so lucky and blessed and really yeah,
(19:53):
I put myself in so many situations and life experiences.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
What I wanted to like kind of realing is like
the comments online. I mean, it hasn't stopped about you
being a Catholic girl and fucking rappers and this and
that and Drake and you know, it's just it's it
goes on and it's still going on. But like I
wanted to touch on how you've been brought up in
a Catholic upbringing households and so have I. But like
(20:20):
everyone's going at you for like fucking a rapper, and
it's like, don't you like, I'm pretty sure there's Catholics
out there that have slept around, you know, Like it's
not it doesn't make it.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
You have a religion, doesn't mean that I'm put in
a box of being a saint exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Like I'm sorry, it's the twenty first century. The way
I see religion is that it's a form of guidance
and a community.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
It's what you believe in. Yes, it gives you something
to go to when you're feeling a certain type of way.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
And it doesn't mean that I'm anything less or or
you know, I was raised a Catholic. And the show
when they were filming Maths, they really really the microscoed
every little thing like that was a lot like I
don't know how they found half of the crosses in
(21:14):
my parents' house, Like Mom, even watch it, you was
like where were where were those picture frames?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Like where were the crosses? They were in random rooms.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
So they really emphasized the religion aspect and went hard,
like they filmed Mum doing her voxies like camera piece
to cameras and questions and answers.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
So for so long.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
But yet they used the Catholic the religion aspect and
really like dug on that aspect where you know, it's
nice to have an outlet where you feel like you're
lost in life and you're you're you know, you've come
to a crossroads and you don't know what to do,
or you feel like you've moved to another state or
country and you've got no families, so you need a
(21:57):
form of community. Like that's how I see religion. And yes,
I was born into a Catholic household and I did
all you know, the Baptism, the first Holy Communions, confirmations, right,
and I still will do that for my family. But
doesn't mean I go to church every day and I
read the Bible every night.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Now, I mean I haven't been to church for years,
but I'm still Catholic. I still believe.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I still believe in so many things, and it doesn't
define who I am or what I've gone through, and
like it's not me like being and you know, doing
wrong by being raised Catholic. I'm I'm you know, it's
the twenty verse.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Come on, Like there's people out here killing people Catholic,
like you know, sleeping with someone who is normal exactly,
like positivity is normal.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It's just you know, except yeah, I don't know. I
think also gravitating towards like I transitioned to New Age
Christianity and I went to Heal Song and also Kingdom
City while I was going through because I could relate
more to the New Age Christianity and I felt it
was like more youthful and it was more vibrant, and
(23:07):
I loved the atmosphere rather than like traditional Catholic church,
which I would go to my parents and I just
would kind of zone out, growing up and not understand
because I felt like it was a bit more of
an older demographic and like the priests would read straight
from the Bible, whereas like New Age Christianity where my
girlfriend introduced me to it when I went to UNI,
because I felt like a bit lost, and I just
(23:30):
I wanted to be around people that were going to
do good in my life and give me ways of
like how can we volunteer and do like charity work
and that kind of thing. Like I knew these people
that I would go to church with on a Sunday
went out doing drugs partying the night before, right. I
saw that in my later twenties where I was like, Okay,
(23:53):
I need to evolve and try something different. So it
was amazing, Like it was super youthful. You know, they
still read passages from the Bible, but they would make
it more relatable to our generation and what we're currently
going through in work life, in personal life and like
stress or anxiety and how to deal with it. So
(24:15):
I felt it was quite inspiring to a degree, and
I liked the atmosphere and how I felt leaving and
the music aspect. But yeah, I don't know. I think
you can never win. People will always come at you
for some reason. You know, for example, Justin Bieb and
Haley Bieber, they're the biggest pop stars of the world,
but yet they were going to heal song like you know, like.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
I just they swear. Let people believe what they want
to believe. Let people do what they want to do.
If like I'm Catholic, but I don't go to church.
It's pretty spiritual, but it doesn't exactly you know, it
doesn't define who we are.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Would I would recommend that people actually turn to a
religion and see and learn more about it it and
use it and implement it in their day to day life.
It doesn't define who I am as a person, doesn't
define you. You know, we're not We're not robots, like
I'm a human.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
At the end of the day.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I understand we go through hardships and we date people
and it doesn't work out. You know, it is what
it is.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I mean, you know, everyone sees it differently. I've got
friends who go to church every single day. They they
don't sleep with anyone until marriage, and then I have
other friends who are still Catholic, but you know, they
sleep with whoever they want to. They do whatever they
want to.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I think because you're a good person, as you're a
good persons, you you.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
You know, you live life in a nice way and.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
You give as long as you're treating everyone with respect.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Treat people with kindness and respect. Live your life.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Live your life, but don't feel judgment because you've been
raised and also religious household that you're going to sin.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
And also God doesn't judge. God doesn't judge, So do
whatever you want of the story, all of the story.
God doesn't judge.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Be humble, be grateful, and be nice to everyone around you.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
No matter what you believe in spirits, God, whatever high
power powers.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Pray. I love praying. Yeah, speak to let's say prayer
right now. People are going to follow up.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I don't want to see a prayer