February 25, 2025 • 57 mins
Matty J has returned from the South African jungle after spending 29 gruelling days removed from civilisation.
Matt and Ash answer all of your I'm A Celebrity questions, from behind-the-scenes secrets to post-production comedowns.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, well, well look what the cat dragged in.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hello, welcome back to Two Doing Dads. I'm Maddie Jay,
I'm Ash and this is a podcast all about parenting.
(00:28):
It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
If you come for advice, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Steer clear my child. I'm surprise.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I remember that youtip really well.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I had to I forgot it. I had to do it.
Laura did it most of the time. Good to have you back.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
It's hey, it's great to be here. It's going to
be back.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I know you're back.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
It's weird to look at you. It's weird to see you.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I've quite enjoyed looking at your wife came out wrong.
I've quite enjoyed recording with her.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I heard it was fun. I haven't listened to any episodes.
You probably won't either, good, but from what I've.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Talked about you a lot, so you probably shouldn't, no doubt.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
But the people were people. Laura was happy. People were happy.
I've heard rave reviews. Rave even think there was a
little comment review on upper podcast and they're like, h
and Laura a great and I was like, shut.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Up, we're starting a new podcast. Me and Laura, you
wish to doting parents.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You're stuck with me, I know, but it is good
to have you back.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
We're here for a reason.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
What's that we're here.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
We're all dying to know the ins and outs of
you masturbating in the jungle.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
So many, so many questions.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Even people that I like see on the street, they're like,
did he do it? Did he did he masturbate? Okay,
my mom is like did you did?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I'm like, Ellie, you're hurting me.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Should tell me, Just tell me.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But you know, it's a pretty traumatic experience, not masturbating
the jungle as a whole. It was. It was a lot.
And on on the weekend, we caught up with some
friends on the beach and they're like, how was it, dude,
And I was like, I was about to unpack the
last five weeks. I was like, you know what, it
was one of the hardest. And they're like, anyway, great,
(02:21):
good to see me. Dude walked off and I was like,
people don't realize how hard it is in there.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
There's a lot that goes into it. I guess, like
I'm guessing.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's fucking it is hell. It is hell ash. I've
been to Helen back.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, you took it upon yourself to do a call
out to see what people wanted to know. So we're
going to run through some of that.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We're going to save the Wayne question till the end.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
That's going to be like the financing to edge, you guys,
right until the end of the episode.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So much sexual talk and these already were already. The
jungle has a hole. You said that as a whole,
so it like has a hole. Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
You're just I'm like, hey, how are you and you're like, hey,
Hays in bed bed is where you have sex.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, you've been edging, just nothing but edging.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I can't say anything on this podcast without you turning
it into smart.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Well, you haven't been here for six weeks, Yeah we did.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
We had a lot of questions.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
We did you put your put out?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
And this is cleansing for me. I haven't had a
proper debrief.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Well, you were just saying you were going to unpack it,
and then people are like, yeah, of course, sorry dude,
and you walk up today, we're going to unpack it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, I need this.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Let's just kick it off straight away.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So I'm wanking in the jungle.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So you wanking in the jungle looking at your beds.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Okay, let's start with a couple of easy ones.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Let me start. Let me start what's with the what's
happening with the beard? First of all, if you haven't
seen Matt on socials, which you should have seen him
by now.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
He today he's trimmed it up, and you can say, rugged,
you were very I walked.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
In the other day and you were like you was
like me, it was like it was the day you
got home.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I had a couple of like shruggly bits. I always
thought beards would grow. I've never had a beard this long,
so this is new territory for me. But yeah, the beard.
You have some hairs that they're growing twice the rate
of the other hairs. It's a lot of hard work.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You've done it all right.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I wouldn't got a haircut. And I said to Chris
the hairdress and I said, Chris, get rid of the beard.
And he's like, I love it, dude. And Laura was like,
can't fucking wait for that beard to come off. So
when I came home, she was like, what why is
it still there? Manicured it and I was like, Chris
didn't want it to come off because his head looks
so good. So I've kept the beard. I don't know
how long for I don't know. I just feel, I feel.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So he trimmed it up for you. He trimmed it
did He did your top lip too. You could set
your watch to that. He is fucking straight.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Thank you, thank you, look at it, thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
As a man who wears a mustache all the time,
I cannot trim mind properly. I just don't know how
to do it. I don't know. Well, I'm growing it
at the moment.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
You need to see, Chris, I wanted to hang.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Right down like a walrus.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Disgusting. How does April kiss you?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
She doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well, Laura wants it gone because she hates it. It's
so itchy, Yeah, so itchy. My kids are like dad.
A lot of people are pretty negative on the beer.
People were like, you don't look like you don't look
like you've even had a shower yet. It's so discussed,
and that's all that matters for the bid. For now,
we'll stay at least another week. It's going to stay.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, rattle away, guys, before we
do continue, Thank you for everyone who did write in question.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Shut up and ask questions.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Who snored the loudest?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Actually not many people snored in the jungle. I picked
a bed. Actually I didn't pick my bed. I there
was one bed left. I was like the last person
in camp, and because I got split into two teams,
and I walked in there and I was told by
a few people, don't get a bed that's too close
to the fire because it's very smoky.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Ash as you don't want to come out of there
with them forthema, which I think I did.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
But I looked around meeting people. I'm shaking hands and
I'm looking around being like, God, like, what what beds
are left? Because everyone already put their backpack on the beds.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, that's a classic way to reserve something.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, it was a school camp. And I'm like talking
to someone filling to Dave Fughes, and I'm like scanning
over his shoulder, being like, oh fuck, there's no beds left.
Only bed left was next to Sam Thirday, big guy,
one of your heroes. But he's he's hope doesn't mind
me saying this. He's like one hundred and third kilos.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Yeah he's not. He's not small guy.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
He's a big boy. And you know, I don't want
to judge him, but I did think he would be
someone who would snore. And I sat next to him
first night and I'm like, do you snare and he's like.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yep, like a chainsaw.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Thankfully, he wasn't too bad. He was actually very quiet.
But the biggest snorer was Sigared Thornton. Siggi man the
smallest in the camp, and she was like a freight
train every night and she'd fall asleep pretty quick. Also,
so you know, you're trying to get to sleep and
like the animal's allowed and then Siggi's just like and
(06:54):
she was consistent every night. She would once she started like,
oh I can't stand all night all night. Thankfully she
was on the other side of the camp, so I
think she was next to Hughsy, next to Harrison, but
I could still it would keep me awake.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And like with the sleeping, do you do you is
it like prison where they're like lights out everyone has
to go to sleep or is it you just go
to sleep when you want to go.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
To Yeah, there's it's crazy. They have massive studio lights
like up and rigged up into the.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Trees and so it's not just all day like natural life.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, so as soon as it kind of gets dark,
we kind of knew that it would get dark around
six thirty and they would turn those lights on, so
we don't have there's no no, one has no time.
So we would know that, like when the lights would
go on, it'd be around six thirty and we'll be
like that lights on secret and then once you stop talking,
they would then turn the lights off. But you had lanterns,
(07:50):
so you would ever be like, all right, everyone shut up.
Sometimes I was next to Sam and Reggie and you know,
we're pretty we're pretty quiet in that corner. Weird as
well that the three of us made it to the
final three in that corner. Apparently that corner suspicious producers did.
They said that that corner has been responsible for a
(08:12):
lot of winners, like Miguel slept over. There good corner
to be in. But there were times when other people
giggling all night, and in my head I was like,
shut the fuck. They wouldn't because they wuldn't have the
lights off until everyone stopped talking. So normally they would
give it five minutes. Once the last person would stop
talking and then then the lights off animals allowed.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
The first animals there. Yeah, dude, there was like the
owl said, the owls can confirm I was. People are like,
aren't you on the Gold Coast?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
No, because they'd be like, well, that's where the English
one is filmed, in Molenbar, but which is like just
off the highway. Yeah, it was just like straight off.
I could just imagine a guy there with like an
animal noise playlists like time owls. He was like, wake
up at the morning.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But that's what it was. An hour after the lights
would go off. Did these be these two owls and
one would go and then the other one on the
other side would go, oh, classic mating call, and they
would do that.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
That's what that is all night, all night.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And then the crickets are so loud, so I reckon
worse than the socicadas. Dude. The cicadas would go all night.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
There that a break.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Welcome to my world, man, they have SCADAs on night shift.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
So the first few nights I think I was getting
about I must have been getting a couple of I didn't.
I didn't get into a deep sleep until like the
last week, I didn't have any dreams. I wasn't dreaming
in the jungle.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Oh man, that would suck.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, and then the moment it would get a little
bit bright. Yeah, monkeys, monkeys are going like over the
tree tops, over the canopy.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
The monkey song would come out of the playlist monkeys.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
That we'd have.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
We'd have ten monkeys, like over see him a lot, right, Yeah, dude,
look up.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And you got monkey's being like, hey man, you're like.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Shut up, and we'll get chet on by a monkey. Uh.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
No ship, no ship by monkeys, thankfully. But there was
We haven't had this confirmed, but I'm pretty sure there
was three ranges that are always patrolling the outside of
the jungle, like where your camp is, to make sure
that the baboons, because baboons are dangerous. They got huge
apparently bigger canines than a lion.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Also, their assholes are disgusting.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Ash please come on, Well, I just can't look at
a bat boon that these ones. The assholes were great.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Apparently they were innies from.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
What I heard.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
But yeah, you always have ranges patrolling. But we had, dude,
we had I had like a scorpion in my heart.
We had a spitting cobra in the in the like
one of the interview rooms planted though. They're pretty venomous,
they're pretty dangerous.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
You can pull the scenemen out of them and then no,
that's a vent amount of them.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
What is wrong with you? You can jack them off?
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Just made me jerking off a snake. Sorry, Jess, I
don't want to look just in the eyes right now.
I just said, imagine me, jerkys.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
We would wake up, we would wake up and the
baboons would be there, and you're like assholes, like nothing
I've ever seen before.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I'm sorry, let's get back on track there. They only
found this out today to dark days Friday Saturday, which
is they don't it's not televised, no, no, but they
would pull stuff from that. What are you? What do
you do in those days? They're long days, long days.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
There were tough times. You got about. There's about one
hundred or so cameras, so they're always filming you. One
hundred cameras always filming you. Yeah, there's always cameras are
always rolling as always people watching from the camp maybe
a kilometer away. There's a house, pretty big house, and
it's where like Mission control is what they would call it.
(12:04):
They will always be there, so there's always people watching,
always produced, you know, because you never know when something's
gonna happen. Yeh, that's interesting. But we don't have there's
no Robin Julie, there's no trials, there's no it'd be
the longest two days, dude, it's it's it was hell.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
We had.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
The best thing we had was a waterfall that we
could walk to and we go for a swim of
the waterfall and we kind of knew that the walk,
the swim, the walk back take up like an hour.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
How many times would you do that today?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
So then, but the hard thing was we had no
energy because we was so hungry, and it was a
hard walk.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Oh it wasn't like, oh, it's just there, because we'd
have to we'd have to make it look like that
just by the way, like it's just there. It was.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It was like it was like summoning Everest.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
No.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, it was hard, and so some people were
like there were times when people go, I cannot do
that walk, Like I don't think I can make it
because people are so hungry, and it was like almost
forty degrees during the day. But we would do. Hughsey
was always up for the walk, so Hughgy would always
like rally the troops and be like, come on, we
need to get some sn Harrison was always keen. Reggie
(13:13):
was like, I can't, I can't, I cannot see. So
we would do that. A's sometimes we do it twice
in a day, and other than that, we would just
sit there, man, sit there. And one game we will
play quite a bit, would be you say a celebrity okay,
(13:33):
and then the first letter of their last name. I
would have to say a celebrity name and.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
It just rolls, and we would do that great car game,
Great great Roger game, that one.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And I would I would often sit there by the
creek and I would look at the rocks and I
would look for faces in the rocks. And I would
do that for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
And it's like you had like a Wilson well sne.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It was you were starved. People. They always say going in.
Everyone who I spoke to d done the show was
like the boredom is so hard to manage, and it
was like it was like undescribable what it's like.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I remember.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
We would we would look for insects, and if we
saw a couple of ants, we'd watch the ants for
an hour.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Do you watch the fuck? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. So you just okay, go again.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
But we would we would get the food was always
the same every day of the week. You always get
five spoonfuls of porridge for breakfast, get about five spoonfuls
of rice, a couple of beans, couple we got a
few beans. You get that same munch for dinner. But
then on the dark days, depending on how many stars
you got on the Thursday, that would roll over to
(14:52):
the Friday and the Saturday, right the challenges. Yeah, so
on the Thursdays, everyone was like, hey, no pressure, but
this is going to determine how much food we get
for the next like three nights. So let's try and
get a couple of stars. But they were like, on
we would get better meals on a Friday Saturday, it
(15:16):
wasn't as like rustic. So one of the nights we
got hamburgers.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I did see a lot of like food advertisements on
this show, and then I saw like there was a
Hello Fresh day, there was a Brownie Day, and like,
you guys are gonna come back and put on waite.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
We had one brownie.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
We stretched it out for three days of TV. We
would have.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Drunk our own piss for a Tim Tam did you yes?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Did you drink your own piss? I was so thirsty,
so they must provide your fresh water and ship like
the whole You get fresh water, You get fresh Sorry
you're out of water, but you're gonna die.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
But I remember, I remember like one time we got
a little bit of hot chocolate and I can't remember
what the challenge was, but we won a little bit
of hot chocolate, and people it was like, we just
want a ferrari. People were losing our shit with just
any bit of flavor because the food just was so bland.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
It must be exciting, you know, like when you even
when you're just hear and you're like so busy and
you never don't get a chance to eat, and then
you're like, oh, you get like something so good. You're like, oh, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Was trapped in the jungle for thirty days, bro, And
you're trying to compare that to being hungry at home?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Is yeah? Is that that's it?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
You think being trapped in the I losing eight kilos
over thirty days is the same as you being hungry
on an afternoon at home and worry wood. Yeah, oh
it's on part. It's so close scorpion steak.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It was more that I just wanted to elaborate how
good that feeling is when you just like get that
one thing. I'm not trying to diminish it. Let's move on.
Did you actually, because there's a question here about washing
your clothes, do you wash your clothes in that creek too?
Or they've given you we.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
We had like you washing up there, We had you
only get two shirts to single it, two pairs of shorts.
You're allowed to bring in five pairs of hondies or
six pairs of hondies. You get two pairs of socks,
and we have a sink down by the creek where
you do you're washing up after you cook, that same
sink you then do for your washing. But I would
normally I would wear a shirt for like five days straight.
(17:23):
I think I washed my socks once. I kind of
wore my socks, wow, for like ten days.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Did anyone have any like weird washing routines, like someone
who had to wash all their shit every day, like
an April per se, which is like, oh, good wash,
I've got to make a load of washing.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yeah, I think everyone because it sounds stupid. But to
ring out your t shirt like you do that, you
do one shirt and you'd have to sit down for
ten minutes because you're exhausted. Oh right right, it's like
the energy required to wash your clothes. People just avoided
it because it was non critical. Everyone smelt like crap.
(18:03):
You know, the campfire. We were given a toiletries bag
and so in that you had a natural deodorant roll on, hate,
roll on. You have pretty basic toothpaste tasted like nothing,
so you never felt like you even had clean teeth.
You have a brush, you have noil clippers, you have
(18:25):
insect spray, and that was and then yeah, that was
that's about it. That was all you had. Oh sunscreen
as well, yeah it's going to be safe, you'd be sunsafe.
And that was That was all you had in your
toiletries bag.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
But I don't think. I mean, the only thing obviously
everyone would shower.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It was the shower sta like a communal so we.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Would all get hosed down in the morning by Robin
Julia and then they'd be like, get out of bed.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You have, Billy, somehow you've made the jungle stink.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Down by the creek by the gym if you can
recall if you can wood the wooden gym, the wooden gym.
So just in the in the around the corner behind
a tree was the showers. I'm having weird like PTSD
right now, Yeah, all right, And then I would not
sometimes you would just shower during the day just.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
To do something just for the like coold shower culture
cold shower, and because it's like so fucking hot and
so it was kind of so hot on the Gold Coaster.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
But but I I showered in DTS for the first
couple of nights, got.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Your cock out after that, and then I was like,
you know, this is hard work, you know, and also
you don't feel as clean.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
But there's you know, there's like four cameras somewhere out there.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
There is footage of one many with his cockout in
the jungle.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
And then as well, when you shower naked, you turn
around in the cameras and then for the four cameras
were like.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
They'd all be on you and for you that is
zoom writing.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
So yeah, so someone whoever's doing night shift. Normally I
would be like the second last of shower Naked, and
then Sam thought I would always follow up and he'd
shower naked.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Nice. Yeah, perfect, Yeah, I'm going to have to Hey, Jess,
can we just send any emounts to Channel ten please
we get that footage? That'd be great. Speaking about producers,
how often are you communicating with the producer?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
So they have a speakers a bit like Big Brother,
where if you would sleep in too long, for example,
they would have to say, hey, guys, you got to
wake up, like the day is starting.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
That sucks.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
And then.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
And then if they're like they would kind of say, hey,
your rations are there. There's a it's called a top TALKI.
It's where you do your interviews. So they would say,
you talk your rations in the top talkie. If there
was anything like anything that really likes. So once time
we had a snake in camp, and so they would say,
everyone go into your campsite with a fireplaces stay there
(21:07):
because we're having someone remove a snake. And then when
they would come in to like someday for example, like
it was one afternoon, they had to do some maintenance
on the campsite, and they were like, you cannot talk
to any of the crew. You cannot say anything to them.
Don't acknowledge them. If you did acknowledge them, they would
ignore you. And then the only kind of interaction you
(21:28):
would have if you weren't doing a trial. I think
you thought it around four point thirty, but they would
send you out to have your battery changed in your
mic pack, so you have your necklace connected to a
mic pack that you wore as a belt. And but
when you did that change, you'd be like, hey, dude,
Hawaii nothing nothing. You'd be like, what do you have
for lunch? Would n answer. None of the crew wore watches,
(21:50):
so they always want to make sure that you have
no idea what the time is. And even you when
you go on a trial, you would like run out
down the tunnel. You would then get met by a producer.
Once you left camp, you get blindfolded. So when you walk,
we say we're walking together. You'd be in front of me,
You're being led by a producer. I have my hand
on your backpack. They would walk you to a car
(22:12):
still blindfold drive you to the trial, and they get
your blindfold taken off once you're in the trial area
in front of Robin Julia, and then once you finish
the trial, blindfold on back to camp.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
It sounds like my worst night mare. Yeah, so then,
and also, but I'm so impatient too. I just could
not take that.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
It's weird how quickly you acclimatized. The first few days,
I was like, I cannot, this is hell. And then
it's weird you just become institutionalized. But then it was
weird coming out and everyone pretty much like all the
crew and like the final six we all flew back
at the same time, and a lot of the crew
from Sydney, and so it was weird. There was one lady,
(22:51):
her name was Anita. Shout out Anita. She would always
blindfold me for the trials, and then she was sitting
next to me on the flight. She was like, hey, dude,
this is But it was so weird to have her
smile at me and talk to me and asked me
a question. I was like, you were do you like me?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
I would be I would be that person that's just like,
I wonder if this person likes me or not. I
would be like, they don't. They definitely don't even know.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
It was their fucking job, but there was I always
when you're in the top talkie doing interviews, there was
normally like one producer he would do most of the
interviews with, and mine was someone who like even though
I didn't I wasn't seeing him face to face, like
it's still talking about like pretty you're crying.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Day day four, one day.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Day day four, I was like keeping to myself, and
they're always watching you, and they always they're also aware
of like this is They've done eleven seasons, so they
know the telltale signs when people are struggling. And one
day before I kind of didn't really speak to anyone.
I kind of ate breakfast by myself. I did like
(24:04):
washing it by I was Matt time, and then they
called me I kind of over the speaker, They say, Mac,
can you come in and have a chat. And it
was like after having a really bad day at school
and you finally get home and your parents go how
was your day, and you just let it all out.
I literally I sat down and he said are you
doing okay? And I just lost it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I was like.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
The trigger words and and you know, like in my
head I was like I remember bo Ryan left two
weeks after two weeks and I thought to myself, I
can't believe he quit. And then on day four, I
was like, I think I'm going to quit.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Wow, Like how close do you think you got to quitting?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Every part of me was like, I don't want to
be here and I can't stay here, and this is
going to like it's not for me.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
You would have regretted it though, and I knew Laura
would kill me. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm safer here.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
But also I thought to myself, look, I'm just going
to I'm going to get to the end of the day.
And it was always you had dinner was always the
biggest meal, and you always felt so much better after
you had a full stomach because the breakfast of lunch
didn't even touch the sides. Yeah, So I was like,
I'm going to get to dinner. And then once you
get to dinner, it's a pretty it's pretty quick to
(25:24):
have a shower, you get ready for bed, and I
was like, I'm just going to do one one more
day and see how I feel in the morning. And
the morning you wake up and you feel okay. And
then I always thought I'm just going to make it
to like one week and then two weeks so I
but yeah, the guy my producer, when I was struggling,
he was like, you're doing a great job, like you know,
hanging there. And so when I saw him in person,
(25:45):
I was like, you saved me. He's like, get off me.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Oh, these these contestants are clinging literally very good. All right,
let's move right. First part of this question, were you
in Africa?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Can confirm did go to Africa?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Okay? If I asked for passport stands, you'd be able
to produce that.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yes, I can't. I can.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yes, I believe you, and the listener should believe you too. Yes.
And then the other one is like does it feel
like you're the jungle? You're saying there's big lights and
cameras and are they small camp? Will just give us
a breakdown.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, there's that little security cameras all like threw out.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
And then do they make a conscious effort to hide
them or not? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah, I mean they're kind of not super hidden. They
they're very much blended into the environment. And then in
the camp, the main camp with the fireplace and the
beds are there's maybe around the camp there's like.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Six proper like big big boppers.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
The ones you'd see like if you're doing the news,
like those type of cameras, but they were like like
up on big stands, but they were manned by cameramen.
But they they had black screens that would just be
this black screen up in this area and the camera
would just poke out here.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
We talk about boring fucking jobs. Oh my.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Sometimes sometimes they'd be like, it'll be like, ha, there
you are, but that must be such a boring job.
Such a boring job. I don't know how they do it.
I don't know if they've got like beds that they're
lying down but standing up. I don't know. It's long
shifts of just listening to us talk about food, because
(27:27):
that's pretty much what we talked to eating. Yeah, like
but sometimes like I think one of them tripped and
like fell take that. But there was one night when
we're trying to sleep and one of the cameramen was
doing this.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
And we were like, can you shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
We're trying to sleep.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Equivalent of your neighbors having a party. The cops are
on their way, but you you.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Forget, you totally forget, like you I mean, there was
there was one camera above me and Reggie and when
it rained, we kind of saw there is a canopy
above you, so if it rains, you're slightly protected. The
outer beds might get a little bit wet, but this
camera was just outside of that protective canopy, and it
(28:19):
would get rained on and when it would go to swivel,
it go like get stuck it and me and Reggie
would be like, I would be like, good morning, reg
how are you feeling? And then the camera got That
(28:43):
was the only time we know we noticed the camera.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Let's talk about the people, Yes, if you don't mind,
I mean, I don't want to talk about the people
because I had to sit back and watch you have
a bromance with Harrison. But anyway, let's see what the
listener thought.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
By the way, is that was that time I want
to talk about it? I'm fine, Harris said, he's.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Upstairs if he comes downstairss upstairs right now, he's in
bed your bed? Yeah, that Laura left and he cooched
on and I saw him on his moped on your story.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yes, yes, sorry about that. I forgot to mute you
hide you from viewing my stories.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
If he was on like a Harley Davison or something.
I'd be like, that's pretty cool. He's on like some
shitty best.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Why do you hate Harrison?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I don't. Okay, So who did you unexpectedly Who did
you unexpectedly connect with? March?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Do you know who I was hoping I was going
to connect with and I feel like it happened. I
feel like it happened. Maybe it was one sided, maybe
he hated it, but I felt like we connected.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Who Husey? Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
I remember I thought he might be in the camp
and I was like, hughes he is so rich, that's
surely he doesn't need to be in armous celeb liked
Apparently they'd been asking him for a while and he
was like, no, I can't be stuffed. Yeah, but but
I was very star struck when I saw Hughesy.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Really yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I remember talking to him and I was very much
I was very aware of who I was talking to,
and I was like, say the right thing. You've met
him before, though only really briefly done his radio show,
so it's a quick five minute chat.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
So he had you as a guest.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I was a guest.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
But doesn't that point if you ask me, you're the
sort after guests.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
He plays tennis with Russell Crowe. That's that's the kind
of guy.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
They can't imagine Russell croping very good.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I thought that that's what you takeaway. He's so unfit.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
They're your words, maybe Gladiator Russell.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Because Hughesy was always down for the waterfall and.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
They really played that up on TV too. Meeting was
a real freak. They're real nature freak. He's like in
the fucking it was.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
It was intense. We would go down there to worship
the sun. We would worship the sun and we were
and Hughsey would be he would give us like life
lessons from Husey. He'd be like, remember, guys, it's all
about forgetting about what weighs you down. You've got to
be happy as we're standing there in the waterfall like
absorbing the sun.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
It was like it was to be part of a cult.
Now what's happening?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
We almost had a mass suicide from Hughsey was like
should we and we're like, we'll do it best season ever.
But husually, I hope that we're I hope we're still friends.
We're not going to hear this, he's not listening to
We'll get them on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
We'll try try our very hard. As the experience changed
your perspective on life at all, yeah, he did for
how long?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Annoyingly coming out of the jungle, you slot back into
your normal routine very quickly.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
I would, I'd be like straight away, like true scroll.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I remember coming out and I thought to myself, I
don't even need my phone. I had my phone back
and I was like, I don't even need it. And
then and then I plugged it in and it turned
on and I was like, I'll have a quick look
four hours later.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yeah. Yeah, when you opened it up, you didn't have
a beard. Yeah, I shaved freshly shave. Oh my phones.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
But it does. In the you're in the thick of
the jungle experience. You know things like a flushing toilet.
You know things like a fridge. You know, to be
able to just order in food and have it delivered
to your house. Those things when you're starving thirty days
every single day, those are little things you appreciate so much.
(32:48):
And then I'm going to sound you know, a bit
cheesy here, as you would have seen my reunion a
little bit emotional. I was missing the family quite a bit.
It makes you appreciate your family. You're you're starved of
all your luxury items. You're starved, you know, electricity and
warm water and food and all that. But then you're
also you're so starved of any connection with your family,
(33:09):
you know. And then I remember when those the letters came.
We get a letter, I think it was maybe twenty day,
three weeks in and like, I don't know if you've
ever had a letter that's made you cry, like for me,
I never have. I've never had a letter where I'm like,
I'm hanging on to every word.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
I got a citation from the RSL Club once that
maybe it was for a lifetime ban. I'm still upset
about it. So yeah, I get it. I know what
you mean.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
But you know, when you have all you have to
connect with your family is an a four piece of
paper with a few words, and you read that letter
ten times a day, every day, and you know you
would do anything just for that, you know, a little
bit more contact with your family, and then you get
out you.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Like, beat it. I can imagine like you did, you
you probably would have done a lot of like soul searching. Yeah,
I'm going to change this about my life. It's like
when you're really hungover, you're like, I'm going to change
so much about myself and then you have a good sleep,
like you know what, I'm perfectly fun.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, there were We got one of my luxury items
that I brought in was the paint set and it
had some pencils and there was some you know, everyone
had a few moments where they would then sit down
by themselves and they were kind of write their thoughts
and I kind of the best way I could treat
the experience in my mind to keep going was just
(34:36):
saying to myself, this is a really intense health retreat.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Yeah, every time, and this is just like this is
like rehab essentially. It was.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
It was that so I hope, I hope. My My
big takeaway from being in there was like spending more
engaged one on one time with kids, being in the moment.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Have you been trying to practice it more?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Very hard?
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yeah? It is hard, very hard. It is hard when
you don't want to do it.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Even this morning, like getting the kids out the door
and you're like, I love your kids so much and
I've missed you so much.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
But there's nothing like being slapped in the face by
reality that he is like young children. They don't give
a like for one day they're like, Oh, it's so
good to be daddy, to be home, and then they're like,
app cut it up. I've set the skin off. The
other day when I came over and it was like
Lola was like I'm hungry, and You're like, okay, what
(35:33):
would you like?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Like, wow, I forget how hard it is to parent
when you're trying to do nothing but give your children
a really fun experience, like on the weekends, like you're
take them to the beach, you pack up all your equipment,
you go down there. You're five minutes in and they're
like treating like you just drag them to the depths
of hell. And you're like you're on BONDI Beach right
(35:57):
now and it's a twenty five degree day, the sun
is out. I've got snacks, I've got towels, I've got
everything you could ever need. And you're like on the
floor having a tantrum.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
It's the word.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
And I'm trying to like transport back to where I
was in the jungle, being like I missed my kids.
I love them so hard, like.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Sitting there looking for faces in the rock. Yeah, like yesterday.
I was like, let's go, let's go to the park.
Let's go to the park. And he's like, yeah, yeah,
let's go to the park. Yeah, get in the car.
They both fell asleep in the car on the short
trip to the park. Got to the park and we're
at the parking. I don't want to go to the park,
and I'm like, we do this for you.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
It's like parenting. I forgot how hard. The one thing
the Jungle did is made me forget how hard parenting.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
You're not as parenting fit because oh no, no, I'm
like awful. I mean, let's talk about challenges really quickly. Yeah,
we spoke about food that you were given, but what
food that you had to eat didn't make you sick.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I were in the moment when we got all the
all the Stars, and because I was still buzzing off
the fact that my last challenge the basketball one. Sorry
about making you watch my attempts at basketball. That was hard, hard,
It was really hard. I wouldn't I wanted to redeem myself.
I wanted to come back a hero. So I was
so happy that we got all the Stars. And it
wasn't until we were blindfolded walking back to camp that
(37:13):
it was that off sour milk because it's just like
off milk. Oh, and we live streamed it and I
was like, yeah, I was. I was projectile vomiting like
the whole way back to camp. I got back into camp.
I then vomited again when I was in camp.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Did I give you anything for that or not?
Speaker 2 (37:30):
You just just like they kind of said, there's always
a medic on call, and the medic is just like
just drinks and water.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Yes, it's not like with poisoned. Yes, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
One time I was like I feel dizzy, and they
gave me a bit of attention, like they were like, okay,
this is kind of serious. And I thought about pretending
to be even dizzier to get food. Yes, but I did.
I didn't. It's like.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
That's such a thing kids do. Yeah, I got like
this all this bit of attention.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
It's like all I had one time was a sore
throat from like the yelling and the smoke, and I
got a lozenger and like save.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Like a sugar free You're like, so you did spew up?
Did anyone like just quickly did anyone get actually sick?
Like not just like food sick, but like because it's
like if you don't have if you're not taking in
the sustenance. Yeah, but we're not.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
You know, we're not got no contact with anybody else.
Read you go a little bit sick that no one
really got that unwell, no we were.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
You are in like a bubble. Yeah, a bubble any
like quarantine a little bit before.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Yeah, there's no gems in the jungle. Someone a fact,
so I don't know. Someone did say there was where
the creek round through. Someone was like, that water is
pretty clean, right, you could just drink it. And I
was like, I don't know if it is. And they
were about to drink it and it's it's just all
pit usually would be in the water. We found out
(39:00):
later Hughesy would piss in the water.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
For give it. He's a vegan, he doesn't drink. It's
probably good for you safe to say, we know who
you missed the most. That'd be me. If you're looking back,
what was your favorite memory, what's your favorite part of
the experience.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
I've got to say I've got to say that fam
coming in and just just for because people are like
you would have known the family were coming.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
In if that's that deep into the earth.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah, you know, like I've watched parts of the show before,
so you know that Top three had the ring in
with the family, but it was a Thursday that we
went from five to three. I thought the family coming
in might be like in a couple of days, like
on the Saturday maybe, but they split us up. They
kind of said, Sam, we had to do when we're
(39:43):
top three. They said, we're going to take some photos
because you guys are Top three, just so you know.
And they at this point production are like a bit
more relaxed at this stage.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
They're on the home stretch as well.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
Yeah, I saw a cameraman with a watch and I
was like, oh my god, oh my god. At the
time shackles are listening. I don't know how to read that.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
And then they said we'll take some individual shots. So
Sam and Reggie left and they said, Matt, just sit
on the just sit on like the bed, and we'll
just you know, just just have a think about some
of your favorite memories. We just get a couple of
pensive shots and this is over the speaker and I
was like, okay. So I was like looking at the
fire and I honestly did not expect Laura they were coming.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
At that point.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I had no idea at all. So when they were like, daddy, fuck,
I've watched it back and it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
May I cried. Yeah yeah, I was like, oh fuck.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah. A few people were like, oh fuck, come on,
bro ham it up for the cameras, but even Laura
at the time was like like pull it together.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I was like, I caught myself crying and I was.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Like it was it was a lot. So that was
That was my favorite moment. And then we did a
challenge where we had to we were dancing as a
scientist go doing the Chinese whispering oh yeah, yeah, and
you forget how good music.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Is, Like, oh true.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
We had no music, and so we had this really
crappy like German eighties techno song that was Right's Free
being played and I don't know if you guys heard
it when you're watching it, but we were just dancing
to that and like that was just for a moment,
just yeah, I turned around. Everyone's you know I think
I like, as I ran down the line, I like
was grinding Reggie.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
She would have laughed at are right?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Actually funny moment with Reggie when we would walk to
the waterfall, I would often take a hand. I would
like chaperone her, help her because she can't see if
anyone who doesn't know, she's only got about ten percent
of a vision left. And one time I forgot to say,
there's a rock in front of you, and she hit
(41:49):
the rock and she was about to fall over. I'm
holding her hand and she goes to grab something. Oh no,
and she grabs my penis. She grabs my penis so tightly,
and that is what like steadies her.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
And I'm like.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
And she's like, hang on, is that your penis?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
That's her move for sure. It's like you our people
stop short in the car. She's like, let me grab
your cock. I've already got it. I've already got it.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
And I didn't want to say yeah. I want to
make sure that she's okay, so I didn't react. I
didn't flinch.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
She gets up as you guys, congratulations, that'll be fifty dollars.
It's a lucky woman.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
And then and so often whenever we like walk to
the waterfall, after that, she's like, you're gonna put me
into another rock. I'd like push him into a intrigue, just.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Get some action, all right? Post show, you're back. We're
happy you're back. You were happy you made it in
one piece. So were the listeners. So we did have
a lot of questions, Matt about your relationship with a
daughter of yours by the name of Vlola. Who who
Marley is the eldest, Lola is the youngest. Who Lola,
before you left, you weren't her favorite person.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
I was posted this video. I did a I did
a video of what it was like when I said
goodbye to the kids. Marley was hysterical. You know, I'm
like explaining to them that I'm going to be gone
for a long time. Marley's in tears. Lola was literally
like shut the fuck up. She was like yeah, she
didn't care at all. And then when I saw Laura
we get reunited, She's like, Lola's really been missing you,
(43:30):
And I was like, has she really? But after we
left the jungle, the Top six, they're all staying at
a lodge outside of the camp and their family's there.
Lola was like locked on to me, locked onto me
and would like wouldn't like I had to give her
a bath, like brush your teeth, get addressed, things that
(43:51):
back home. Normally she'd be like, do not touch me,
get away from me. And May didn't give a shit.
Marley was like, hey, man walked off. We'reas low. Were like,
couldn't it enough for me?
Speaker 1 (44:01):
She missed her pin cushion. That's what it is. You're
like a pin cushion where she's like and she didn't
have that. When I was talking to Laura the whole time,
like in the records, when you were gone, she was like,
she was like, Lola just like has no one to hate,
like like it was so weird, but.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Then it was for the record as well. The business
class seat flight a couple of crap from Life on
cut listeners for the record. For the record, Laura had
that seat ten of the twelve hours of the flight.
I gave up my seat to Laura, so I sat
there with Lola.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Oh, the story's changing.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
So we're in premium. Marley's a sleep in one seat.
We're in the middle row. Laura was in the middle
arm on the outer She slept in my arms that
whole time. Remember sound like a hero. That sound like
a hero. Anyone would have done the same thing. But
normally I remember thinking wondering what it would be like
to have Lola sleep in your arms, because it was
(45:02):
always Laura and it happened for the first time and
I was like, this is amazing. It's starting to rub off. Now.
This morning she woke up, Laura was out the door
and Lola was like, you, where's mom? And I was like,
she's gone for work and she was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
God, yeah, it just ruins their day immediately.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yeah, so it's starting to rub off. But for the
first week back, it's been pretty amazing.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, that's good. Oh, I'm happy. I can't wait to
get an update. A question that was on everyone's mind,
junk jacks, did you get one away?
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Look, I don't want to talk about it, Yes you do. Okay,
people don't want to hear about this part of the
jungle experience. It's it's a bit crass, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
Just cover your ears?
Speaker 2 (45:51):
This is a lot of information. I can't. Okay, let
me take my pants off in the jungle. It's weird.
That's switch of like being horny is gone.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
I was not going to say, it's right there.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
You everyone like speaking to the other boys and no
sex drive, zero sex drive. The last thing you're thinking
about maybe because your body's just trying to hold onto
like every last drop of nutrients that to expel any
semen would be so detrimental, so your body is like
(46:31):
it's not thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
At all, So you're forced one out.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
And so we were talking about, you know, early days,
like who's going to have a jungle jack, and people
were like, yeah, we might have a jungle jack. And
then like after the first week, everyone's like, actually, there's
no way I could even even if I wanted to,
I'm not going to be able to jungle jack.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
Okay, do they know who they're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
So maybe I wasn't sleeping that well, Okay, it would
It would take me normally like an hour to get
to sleep. And I was also up really early as well.
I'd lay in bed trying to get back to sleep,
and that's exhausting. It's you know, you want to get
to sleep, and then as well, you know, you got
you got the animals to deal with cigarettes, you know,
(47:15):
you want to try and get to sleep before she
starts snoring like a freight train. So one night, this
is maybe like three weeks in, I'm tossing and turning,
not like that.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
That was quick.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Everyone's asleep. I kind of like sit up in bed
and because you have lanterns, he can dimly lit, and
I'm like, everyone's sleeping. I'm not gonna I'm not going
to do it. The only the only place where there
is no cameras is in the toilets. And I'm like,
part of me, there's literally two voices in my head.
One is saying, let's just go to go to the toilets.
(47:51):
Do it. Let's just do it. It'll help you get
to sleep. And then the other voice is like, that's disgusting,
don't don't do it. And then I'm like, I'll try
and get back to sleep. Try off another like what
felt like ten twenty minutes, I'm wide away. I'm like,
you know what, it's nature's sleeping pill. So I go
(48:12):
over to the make my way, put my boots on,
make my way down to the long drop, get into
the long drop. Yes, it's like, oh man, we would
change the toilets. There was a massive bucket underneath the
long drop and we would change it every morning. So
it's been a forty degree day full of shit. You're
(48:33):
in there. It smells like shit, you know, And I'm
looking at my penis, which is the size of a walnut,
and I'm like, oh god, come on, buddy, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's like it's it does not want to get up
at all. I'm like, come.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Give me something, trying to bring some.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Life into this guy. And you know, I'm in there
in my modesty, smock, in this modesty in the long drop,
which thinks of shit, trying to get something, trying to
get a direction, and nothing's working, and I'm like, goodness.
So after maybe like it felt like ten minutes, I
(49:17):
start to get some blood float and I'm like, Okay,
we're good. We've got something here. We've got something here,
so we're kind of we're making progress. But I'm also thinking, like,
hope no one has to get up in the middle
of the night and go to the toilet, because you know, anyway,
So making great progress, getting towards the pointy end, if
(49:38):
you know what I'm saying. I'm now conscious that I
don't want to make a mess in the long drop.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Were you sitting or standing standing? Nice?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
So with my left hand, I get the toilet paper.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Oh you your prepping' and I'm like I've given.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
Myself a homemade baseball, mit to catch, to catch what's
about to come into it.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
I'm digging it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
So I've got this baseball mit. I'm like, ready, okay,
I'm going to I'm gonna catch this thing. Okay. So
I'm like getting towards Enna, Jess. I'm so sorry to
talk about this in front of you, also so to
all listeners. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to catch
this in the baseball mitt. And then the moment it happens,
(50:25):
it's like a water main being struck.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
It's like square yeah, And I'm like.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
I've caught a little bit of it, but also a
lot of it's now everywhere and inside the long drop,
the walls are just dried mud.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
That's so you contributed to the structural integrity of that toilet.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Now I'm like, okay, crab, I want to I got
to clean this up. I can't have people in the
morning being like, what are crystals?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
Come on the wall?
Speaker 2 (50:59):
The toilet paper is like a single ply right, It's
like you know. I'm like, so I try and wipe
it off, and then the toilet paper is like attached
now to the dried clay, and and I'm.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Like, god, damn it, this is this is awful. People
are going to know.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
People are going to know, Yeah, this's just like shreds
of toilet paper. And then I'm like, I've got to
try and remove it. So there's a little shovel that
you can that we would put every time we get
the toilet you put charcoal and sawdust over your business.
And I was like, I'm going to use that shovel
to like shave off the dried mud. So I'm there, like,
(51:39):
would you be.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
The first person to ever get rid of semen with
the shovel?
Speaker 2 (51:46):
So I'm shaving off all the mud. I'm like, I'm like,
it's a construction work. Now I'm like jack hammering away. Yeah.
And I'm also like this looks a bit sus because
on one side it's all just like dried mud.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
And when it's like shave, it's just like flattened.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
But I'm like I did in a way which wasn't
obvious that I got rid of the evidence. And then
but then I realized something, Wow, ash, I realized I've
done something very silly. Oh no, Okay, when you're in
the jungle, it's drilled into you that you have to
wear something at all times. Yes, a microphone.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Oh my god, so I.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Everyone, I'm wearing a microphone.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
What okay, we're heavy. There just be a lot of
heavy breathing. People probably think you're taking a monster shit
in there, unless do you do you talk to yourself?
Speaker 2 (52:47):
Come on, I got it's everywhere.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
So okay, has anything? Did any want to say anything?
Speaker 2 (52:52):
No one saying? I think they kind of I then
it wouldn't be the first I grabbed my microphone. I
was like, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
That was could calm. I went all over the walls picture.
Speaker 2 (53:05):
I just wanted to I was just like in case
it was someone listening, and I just wanted to say,
I'm really I'm okay, very so then I had to yeah.
I then close the long drop door and did you
get to sleep? And then I like a baby. But
the guilt, the guilt of walking back into camp and
(53:30):
whoopsie like a bit flustered heart.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Any water.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
Replenish what I've just like, I'm like, I'm so dehydrated,
just like bang of bones.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
Your skins are really tight.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
Hop back into bed and I was like, I'm an
awful I'm a disgusting human being. And then towards the end,
I was like to the others. I was like, we all,
we all did it right? No, I was like everyone like, yeah,
come on.
Speaker 1 (54:05):
We all like a good gear. I love that. Did
anyone just be like, yeah, me too, just like make
Maddy feel better.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
It looked accusing, and I was excuse it.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
Come on. It was like, damn it, man, have some
self control.
Speaker 2 (54:21):
So just the once, yeah, just well twice.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
God it was one the end.
Speaker 2 (54:28):
It was like the second last night, I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1 (54:30):
That's good gear.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
I like that, But the second time I didn't. I
didn't wear the microphone.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
Okay, do you get in trouble? What were you doing
in there? Wanking?
Speaker 2 (54:38):
Not so? Yeah, I am disgusting, I'll admit it. That
was the highlight of my That's fine.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
I would have given them the go too.
Speaker 2 (54:46):
I didn't. I didn't enjoy I didn't. For the record,
it wasn't enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
Yeah, Matthew, one last thing, Yes, I have something for you.
It's a lovely slice of mango.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
I'm not sure I did I actually say. I don't
remember saying that I would rather eat a mango than
have sex with my wife.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
Yeah, you did quite openly say that, and you didn't
mix up your words there at all?
Speaker 2 (55:11):
You did that.
Speaker 1 (55:12):
You said, Hey, guys, just so you know, if I
had a choice between this mango and having sex with
my wife, I would take the mango.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Shit.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
But we all, I look, honestly, well, Laura's not here,
what about me? That's a that's a good look at mango. Yes,
cover here is. Oh yeah, ah, it's funny. Sex sounds
the same as that that is, looks good, smells really good.
Oh my god, but we all know what you're man
(55:48):
that that you were just expressing how much how good
that mango was at the time. What about now mango
or sex with your wife?
Speaker 2 (55:57):
I don't know. Mango's pretty bloody good. That's all A
good time for Thanks, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
That's all right. Do you want me to wrap this
up all right? While Matt does his best to perform
filatio on that mango. If you've enjoyed this episode, please
give us a review, subscribe that's lovely, lovely. Oh. You
can join us on social media Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, that's
(56:26):
a good mango, very very good. We will be back
next week with a regular with a regular episode. Oh man,
he's really making up of that mango. I'm getting an erection,
so I must go.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
Good to be back.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
Goodbye. For now. I'm doing fine too.
Speaker 2 (56:43):
By the way, Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional
custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land,
see and community.
Speaker 1 (57:02):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today
Well, well, well look what the cat dragged in.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hello, welcome back to Two Doing Dads. I'm Maddie Jay,
I'm Ash and this is a podcast all about parenting.
(00:28):
It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
If you come for advice, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Steer clear my child. I'm surprise.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I remember that youtip really well.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I had to I forgot it. I had to do it.
Laura did it most of the time. Good to have you back.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
It's hey, it's great to be here. It's going to
be back.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I know you're back.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
It's weird to look at you. It's weird to see you.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I've quite enjoyed looking at your wife came out wrong.
I've quite enjoyed recording with her.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I heard it was fun. I haven't listened to any episodes.
You probably won't either, good, but from what I've.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Talked about you a lot, so you probably shouldn't, no doubt.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
But the people were people. Laura was happy. People were happy.
I've heard rave reviews. Rave even think there was a
little comment review on upper podcast and they're like, h
and Laura a great and I was like, shut.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Up, we're starting a new podcast. Me and Laura, you
wish to doting parents.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You're stuck with me, I know, but it is good
to have you back.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
We're here for a reason.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
What's that we're here.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
We're all dying to know the ins and outs of
you masturbating in the jungle.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
So many, so many questions.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Even people that I like see on the street, they're like,
did he do it? Did he did he masturbate? Okay,
my mom is like did you did?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I'm like, Ellie, you're hurting me.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Should tell me, Just tell me.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But you know, it's a pretty traumatic experience, not masturbating
the jungle as a whole. It was. It was a lot.
And on on the weekend, we caught up with some
friends on the beach and they're like, how was it, dude,
And I was like, I was about to unpack the
last five weeks. I was like, you know what, it
was one of the hardest. And they're like, anyway, great,
(02:21):
good to see me. Dude walked off and I was like,
people don't realize how hard it is in there.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
There's a lot that goes into it. I guess, like
I'm guessing.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's fucking it is hell. It is hell ash. I've
been to Helen back.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, you took it upon yourself to do a call
out to see what people wanted to know. So we're
going to run through some of that.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We're going to save the Wayne question till the end.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
That's going to be like the financing to edge, you guys,
right until the end of the episode.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So much sexual talk and these already were already. The
jungle has a hole. You said that as a whole,
so it like has a hole. Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
You're just I'm like, hey, how are you and you're like, hey,
Hays in bed bed is where you have sex.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, you've been edging, just nothing but edging.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I can't say anything on this podcast without you turning
it into smart.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Well, you haven't been here for six weeks, Yeah we did.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
We had a lot of questions.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
We did you put your put out?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
And this is cleansing for me. I haven't had a
proper debrief.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Well, you were just saying you were going to unpack it,
and then people are like, yeah, of course, sorry dude,
and you walk up today, we're going to unpack it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, I need this.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Let's just kick it off straight away.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So I'm wanking in the jungle.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So you wanking in the jungle looking at your beds.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Okay, let's start with a couple of easy ones.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Let me start. Let me start what's with the what's
happening with the beard? First of all, if you haven't
seen Matt on socials, which you should have seen him
by now.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
He today he's trimmed it up, and you can say, rugged,
you were very I walked.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
In the other day and you were like you was
like me, it was like it was the day you
got home.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I had a couple of like shruggly bits. I always
thought beards would grow. I've never had a beard this long,
so this is new territory for me. But yeah, the beard.
You have some hairs that they're growing twice the rate
of the other hairs. It's a lot of hard work.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You've done it all right.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I wouldn't got a haircut. And I said to Chris
the hairdress and I said, Chris, get rid of the beard.
And he's like, I love it, dude. And Laura was like,
can't fucking wait for that beard to come off. So
when I came home, she was like, what why is
it still there? Manicured it and I was like, Chris
didn't want it to come off because his head looks
so good. So I've kept the beard. I don't know
how long for I don't know. I just feel, I feel.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So he trimmed it up for you. He trimmed it
did He did your top lip too. You could set
your watch to that. He is fucking straight.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Thank you, thank you, look at it, thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
As a man who wears a mustache all the time,
I cannot trim mind properly. I just don't know how
to do it. I don't know. Well, I'm growing it
at the moment.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
You need to see, Chris, I wanted to hang.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Right down like a walrus.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Disgusting. How does April kiss you?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
She doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well, Laura wants it gone because she hates it. It's
so itchy, Yeah, so itchy. My kids are like dad.
A lot of people are pretty negative on the beer.
People were like, you don't look like you don't look
like you've even had a shower yet. It's so discussed,
and that's all that matters for the bid. For now,
we'll stay at least another week. It's going to stay.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, rattle away, guys, before we
do continue, Thank you for everyone who did write in question.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Shut up and ask questions.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Who snored the loudest?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Actually not many people snored in the jungle. I picked
a bed. Actually I didn't pick my bed. I there
was one bed left. I was like the last person
in camp, and because I got split into two teams,
and I walked in there and I was told by
a few people, don't get a bed that's too close
to the fire because it's very smoky.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Ash as you don't want to come out of there
with them forthema, which I think I did.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
But I looked around meeting people. I'm shaking hands and
I'm looking around being like, God, like, what what beds
are left? Because everyone already put their backpack on the beds.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, that's a classic way to reserve something.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, it was a school camp. And I'm like talking
to someone filling to Dave Fughes, and I'm like scanning
over his shoulder, being like, oh fuck, there's no beds left.
Only bed left was next to Sam Thirday, big guy,
one of your heroes. But he's he's hope doesn't mind
me saying this. He's like one hundred and third kilos.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Yeah he's not. He's not small guy.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
He's a big boy. And you know, I don't want
to judge him, but I did think he would be
someone who would snore. And I sat next to him
first night and I'm like, do you snare and he's like.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yep, like a chainsaw.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Thankfully, he wasn't too bad. He was actually very quiet.
But the biggest snorer was Sigared Thornton. Siggi man the
smallest in the camp, and she was like a freight
train every night and she'd fall asleep pretty quick. Also,
so you know, you're trying to get to sleep and
like the animal's allowed and then Siggi's just like and
(06:54):
she was consistent every night. She would once she started like,
oh I can't stand all night all night. Thankfully she
was on the other side of the camp, so I
think she was next to Hughsy, next to Harrison, but
I could still it would keep me awake.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And like with the sleeping, do you do you is
it like prison where they're like lights out everyone has
to go to sleep or is it you just go
to sleep when you want to go.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
To Yeah, there's it's crazy. They have massive studio lights
like up and rigged up into the.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Trees and so it's not just all day like natural life.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, so as soon as it kind of gets dark,
we kind of knew that it would get dark around
six thirty and they would turn those lights on, so
we don't have there's no no, one has no time.
So we would know that, like when the lights would
go on, it'd be around six thirty and we'll be
like that lights on secret and then once you stop talking,
they would then turn the lights off. But you had lanterns,
(07:50):
so you would ever be like, all right, everyone shut up.
Sometimes I was next to Sam and Reggie and you know,
we're pretty we're pretty quiet in that corner. Weird as
well that the three of us made it to the
final three in that corner. Apparently that corner suspicious producers did.
They said that that corner has been responsible for a
(08:12):
lot of winners, like Miguel slept over. There good corner
to be in. But there were times when other people
giggling all night, and in my head I was like,
shut the fuck. They wouldn't because they wuldn't have the
lights off until everyone stopped talking. So normally they would
give it five minutes. Once the last person would stop
talking and then then the lights off animals allowed.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
The first animals there. Yeah, dude, there was like the
owl said, the owls can confirm I was. People are like,
aren't you on the Gold Coast?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
No, because they'd be like, well, that's where the English
one is filmed, in Molenbar, but which is like just
off the highway. Yeah, it was just like straight off.
I could just imagine a guy there with like an
animal noise playlists like time owls. He was like, wake
up at the morning.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But that's what it was. An hour after the lights
would go off. Did these be these two owls and
one would go and then the other one on the
other side would go, oh, classic mating call, and they
would do that.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
That's what that is all night, all night.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And then the crickets are so loud, so I reckon
worse than the socicadas. Dude. The cicadas would go all night.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
There that a break.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Welcome to my world, man, they have SCADAs on night shift.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
So the first few nights I think I was getting
about I must have been getting a couple of I didn't.
I didn't get into a deep sleep until like the
last week, I didn't have any dreams. I wasn't dreaming
in the jungle.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Oh man, that would suck.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, and then the moment it would get a little
bit bright. Yeah, monkeys, monkeys are going like over the
tree tops, over the canopy.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
The monkey song would come out of the playlist monkeys.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
That we'd have.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
We'd have ten monkeys, like over see him a lot, right, Yeah, dude,
look up.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And you got monkey's being like, hey man, you're like.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Shut up, and we'll get chet on by a monkey. Uh.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
No ship, no ship by monkeys, thankfully. But there was
We haven't had this confirmed, but I'm pretty sure there
was three ranges that are always patrolling the outside of
the jungle, like where your camp is, to make sure
that the baboons, because baboons are dangerous. They got huge
apparently bigger canines than a lion.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Also, their assholes are disgusting.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Ash please come on, Well, I just can't look at
a bat boon that these ones. The assholes were great.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Apparently they were innies from.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
What I heard.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
But yeah, you always have ranges patrolling. But we had, dude,
we had I had like a scorpion in my heart.
We had a spitting cobra in the in the like
one of the interview rooms planted though. They're pretty venomous,
they're pretty dangerous.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
You can pull the scenemen out of them and then no,
that's a vent amount of them.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
What is wrong with you? You can jack them off?
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Just made me jerking off a snake. Sorry, Jess, I
don't want to look just in the eyes right now.
I just said, imagine me, jerkys.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
We would wake up, we would wake up and the
baboons would be there, and you're like assholes, like nothing
I've ever seen before.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I'm sorry, let's get back on track there. They only
found this out today to dark days Friday Saturday, which
is they don't it's not televised, no, no, but they
would pull stuff from that. What are you? What do
you do in those days? They're long days, long days.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
There were tough times. You got about. There's about one
hundred or so cameras, so they're always filming you. One
hundred cameras always filming you. Yeah, there's always cameras are
always rolling as always people watching from the camp maybe
a kilometer away. There's a house, pretty big house, and
it's where like Mission control is what they would call it.
(12:04):
They will always be there, so there's always people watching,
always produced, you know, because you never know when something's
gonna happen. Yeh, that's interesting. But we don't have there's
no Robin Julie, there's no trials, there's no it'd be
the longest two days, dude, it's it's it was hell.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
We had.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
The best thing we had was a waterfall that we
could walk to and we go for a swim of
the waterfall and we kind of knew that the walk,
the swim, the walk back take up like an hour.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
How many times would you do that today?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
So then, but the hard thing was we had no
energy because we was so hungry, and it was a
hard walk.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Oh it wasn't like, oh, it's just there, because we'd
have to we'd have to make it look like that
just by the way, like it's just there. It was.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It was like it was like summoning Everest.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
No.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, it was hard, and so some people were
like there were times when people go, I cannot do
that walk, Like I don't think I can make it
because people are so hungry, and it was like almost
forty degrees during the day. But we would do. Hughsey
was always up for the walk, so Hughgy would always
like rally the troops and be like, come on, we
need to get some sn Harrison was always keen. Reggie
(13:13):
was like, I can't, I can't, I cannot see. So
we would do that. A's sometimes we do it twice
in a day, and other than that, we would just
sit there, man, sit there. And one game we will
play quite a bit, would be you say a celebrity okay,
(13:33):
and then the first letter of their last name. I
would have to say a celebrity name and.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
It just rolls, and we would do that great car game,
Great great Roger game, that one.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And I would I would often sit there by the
creek and I would look at the rocks and I
would look for faces in the rocks. And I would
do that for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
And it's like you had like a Wilson well sne.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It was you were starved. People. They always say going in.
Everyone who I spoke to d done the show was
like the boredom is so hard to manage, and it
was like it was like undescribable what it's like.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I remember.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
We would we would look for insects, and if we
saw a couple of ants, we'd watch the ants for
an hour.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Do you watch the fuck? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. So you just okay, go again.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
But we would we would get the food was always
the same every day of the week. You always get
five spoonfuls of porridge for breakfast, get about five spoonfuls
of rice, a couple of beans, couple we got a
few beans. You get that same munch for dinner. But
then on the dark days, depending on how many stars
you got on the Thursday, that would roll over to
(14:52):
the Friday and the Saturday, right the challenges. Yeah, so
on the Thursdays, everyone was like, hey, no pressure, but
this is going to determine how much food we get
for the next like three nights. So let's try and
get a couple of stars. But they were like, on
we would get better meals on a Friday Saturday, it
(15:16):
wasn't as like rustic. So one of the nights we
got hamburgers.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I did see a lot of like food advertisements on
this show, and then I saw like there was a
Hello Fresh day, there was a Brownie Day, and like,
you guys are gonna come back and put on waite.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
We had one brownie.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
We stretched it out for three days of TV. We
would have.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Drunk our own piss for a Tim Tam did you yes?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Did you drink your own piss? I was so thirsty,
so they must provide your fresh water and ship like
the whole You get fresh water, You get fresh Sorry
you're out of water, but you're gonna die.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
But I remember, I remember like one time we got
a little bit of hot chocolate and I can't remember
what the challenge was, but we won a little bit
of hot chocolate, and people it was like, we just
want a ferrari. People were losing our shit with just
any bit of flavor because the food just was so bland.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
It must be exciting, you know, like when you even
when you're just hear and you're like so busy and
you never don't get a chance to eat, and then
you're like, oh, you get like something so good. You're like, oh, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Was trapped in the jungle for thirty days, bro, And
you're trying to compare that to being hungry at home?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Is yeah? Is that that's it?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
You think being trapped in the I losing eight kilos
over thirty days is the same as you being hungry
on an afternoon at home and worry wood. Yeah, oh
it's on part. It's so close scorpion steak.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It was more that I just wanted to elaborate how
good that feeling is when you just like get that
one thing. I'm not trying to diminish it. Let's move on.
Did you actually, because there's a question here about washing
your clothes, do you wash your clothes in that creek too?
Or they've given you we.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
We had like you washing up there, We had you
only get two shirts to single it, two pairs of shorts.
You're allowed to bring in five pairs of hondies or
six pairs of hondies. You get two pairs of socks,
and we have a sink down by the creek where
you do you're washing up after you cook, that same
sink you then do for your washing. But I would
normally I would wear a shirt for like five days straight.
(17:23):
I think I washed my socks once. I kind of
wore my socks, wow, for like ten days.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Did anyone have any like weird washing routines, like someone
who had to wash all their shit every day, like
an April per se, which is like, oh, good wash,
I've got to make a load of washing.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yeah, I think everyone because it sounds stupid. But to
ring out your t shirt like you do that, you
do one shirt and you'd have to sit down for
ten minutes because you're exhausted. Oh right right, it's like
the energy required to wash your clothes. People just avoided
it because it was non critical. Everyone smelt like crap.
(18:03):
You know, the campfire. We were given a toiletries bag
and so in that you had a natural deodorant roll on, hate,
roll on. You have pretty basic toothpaste tasted like nothing,
so you never felt like you even had clean teeth.
You have a brush, you have noil clippers, you have
(18:25):
insect spray, and that was and then yeah, that was
that's about it. That was all you had. Oh sunscreen
as well, yeah it's going to be safe, you'd be sunsafe.
And that was That was all you had in your
toiletries bag.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
But I don't think. I mean, the only thing obviously
everyone would shower.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It was the shower sta like a communal so we.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Would all get hosed down in the morning by Robin
Julia and then they'd be like, get out of bed.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You have, Billy, somehow you've made the jungle stink.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Down by the creek by the gym if you can
recall if you can wood the wooden gym, the wooden gym.
So just in the in the around the corner behind
a tree was the showers. I'm having weird like PTSD
right now, Yeah, all right, And then I would not
sometimes you would just shower during the day just.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
To do something just for the like coold shower culture
cold shower, and because it's like so fucking hot and
so it was kind of so hot on the Gold Coaster.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
But but I I showered in DTS for the first
couple of nights, got.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Your cock out after that, and then I was like,
you know, this is hard work, you know, and also
you don't feel as clean.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
But there's you know, there's like four cameras somewhere out there.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
There is footage of one many with his cockout in
the jungle.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
And then as well, when you shower naked, you turn
around in the cameras and then for the four cameras
were like.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
They'd all be on you and for you that is
zoom writing.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
So yeah, so someone whoever's doing night shift. Normally I
would be like the second last of shower Naked, and
then Sam thought I would always follow up and he'd
shower naked.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Nice. Yeah, perfect, Yeah, I'm going to have to Hey, Jess,
can we just send any emounts to Channel ten please
we get that footage? That'd be great. Speaking about producers,
how often are you communicating with the producer?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
So they have a speakers a bit like Big Brother,
where if you would sleep in too long, for example,
they would have to say, hey, guys, you got to
wake up, like the day is starting.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
That sucks.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
And then.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
And then if they're like they would kind of say, hey,
your rations are there. There's a it's called a top TALKI.
It's where you do your interviews. So they would say,
you talk your rations in the top talkie. If there
was anything like anything that really likes. So once time
we had a snake in camp, and so they would say,
everyone go into your campsite with a fireplaces stay there
(21:07):
because we're having someone remove a snake. And then when
they would come in to like someday for example, like
it was one afternoon, they had to do some maintenance
on the campsite, and they were like, you cannot talk
to any of the crew. You cannot say anything to them.
Don't acknowledge them. If you did acknowledge them, they would
ignore you. And then the only kind of interaction you
(21:28):
would have if you weren't doing a trial. I think
you thought it around four point thirty, but they would
send you out to have your battery changed in your
mic pack, so you have your necklace connected to a
mic pack that you wore as a belt. And but
when you did that change, you'd be like, hey, dude,
Hawaii nothing nothing. You'd be like, what do you have
for lunch? Would n answer. None of the crew wore watches,
(21:50):
so they always want to make sure that you have
no idea what the time is. And even you when
you go on a trial, you would like run out
down the tunnel. You would then get met by a producer.
Once you left camp, you get blindfolded. So when you walk,
we say we're walking together. You'd be in front of me,
You're being led by a producer. I have my hand
on your backpack. They would walk you to a car
(22:12):
still blindfold drive you to the trial, and they get
your blindfold taken off once you're in the trial area
in front of Robin Julia, and then once you finish
the trial, blindfold on back to camp.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
It sounds like my worst night mare. Yeah, so then,
and also, but I'm so impatient too. I just could
not take that.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
It's weird how quickly you acclimatized. The first few days,
I was like, I cannot, this is hell. And then
it's weird you just become institutionalized. But then it was
weird coming out and everyone pretty much like all the
crew and like the final six we all flew back
at the same time, and a lot of the crew
from Sydney, and so it was weird. There was one lady,
(22:51):
her name was Anita. Shout out Anita. She would always
blindfold me for the trials, and then she was sitting
next to me on the flight. She was like, hey, dude,
this is But it was so weird to have her
smile at me and talk to me and asked me
a question. I was like, you were do you like me?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
I would be I would be that person that's just like,
I wonder if this person likes me or not. I
would be like, they don't. They definitely don't even know.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
It was their fucking job, but there was I always
when you're in the top talkie doing interviews, there was
normally like one producer he would do most of the
interviews with, and mine was someone who like even though
I didn't I wasn't seeing him face to face, like
it's still talking about like pretty you're crying.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Day day four, one day.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Day day four, I was like keeping to myself, and
they're always watching you, and they always they're also aware
of like this is They've done eleven seasons, so they
know the telltale signs when people are struggling. And one
day before I kind of didn't really speak to anyone.
I kind of ate breakfast by myself. I did like
(24:04):
washing it by I was Matt time, and then they
called me I kind of over the speaker, They say, Mac,
can you come in and have a chat. And it
was like after having a really bad day at school
and you finally get home and your parents go how
was your day, and you just let it all out.
I literally I sat down and he said are you
doing okay? And I just lost it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I was like.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
The trigger words and and you know, like in my
head I was like I remember bo Ryan left two
weeks after two weeks and I thought to myself, I
can't believe he quit. And then on day four, I
was like, I think I'm going to quit.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Wow, Like how close do you think you got to quitting?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Every part of me was like, I don't want to
be here and I can't stay here, and this is
going to like it's not for me.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
You would have regretted it though, and I knew Laura
would kill me. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm safer here.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
But also I thought to myself, look, I'm just going
to I'm going to get to the end of the day.
And it was always you had dinner was always the
biggest meal, and you always felt so much better after
you had a full stomach because the breakfast of lunch
didn't even touch the sides. Yeah, So I was like,
I'm going to get to dinner. And then once you
get to dinner, it's a pretty it's pretty quick to
(25:24):
have a shower, you get ready for bed, and I
was like, I'm just going to do one one more
day and see how I feel in the morning. And
the morning you wake up and you feel okay. And
then I always thought I'm just going to make it
to like one week and then two weeks so I
but yeah, the guy my producer, when I was struggling,
he was like, you're doing a great job, like you know,
hanging there. And so when I saw him in person,
(25:45):
I was like, you saved me. He's like, get off me.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Oh, these these contestants are clinging literally very good. All right,
let's move right. First part of this question, were you
in Africa?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Can confirm did go to Africa?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Okay? If I asked for passport stands, you'd be able
to produce that.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yes, I can't. I can.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yes, I believe you, and the listener should believe you too. Yes.
And then the other one is like does it feel
like you're the jungle? You're saying there's big lights and
cameras and are they small camp? Will just give us
a breakdown.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, there's that little security cameras all like threw out.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
And then do they make a conscious effort to hide
them or not? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah, I mean they're kind of not super hidden. They
they're very much blended into the environment. And then in
the camp, the main camp with the fireplace and the
beds are there's maybe around the camp there's like.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Six proper like big big boppers.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
The ones you'd see like if you're doing the news,
like those type of cameras, but they were like like
up on big stands, but they were manned by cameramen.
But they they had black screens that would just be
this black screen up in this area and the camera
would just poke out here.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
We talk about boring fucking jobs. Oh my.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Sometimes sometimes they'd be like, it'll be like, ha, there
you are, but that must be such a boring job.
Such a boring job. I don't know how they do it.
I don't know if they've got like beds that they're
lying down but standing up. I don't know. It's long
shifts of just listening to us talk about food, because
(27:27):
that's pretty much what we talked to eating. Yeah, like
but sometimes like I think one of them tripped and
like fell take that. But there was one night when
we're trying to sleep and one of the cameramen was
doing this.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
And we were like, can you shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
We're trying to sleep.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Equivalent of your neighbors having a party. The cops are
on their way, but you you.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Forget, you totally forget, like you I mean, there was
there was one camera above me and Reggie and when
it rained, we kind of saw there is a canopy
above you, so if it rains, you're slightly protected. The
outer beds might get a little bit wet, but this
camera was just outside of that protective canopy, and it
(28:19):
would get rained on and when it would go to swivel,
it go like get stuck it and me and Reggie
would be like, I would be like, good morning, reg
how are you feeling? And then the camera got That
(28:43):
was the only time we know we noticed the camera.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Let's talk about the people, Yes, if you don't mind,
I mean, I don't want to talk about the people
because I had to sit back and watch you have
a bromance with Harrison. But anyway, let's see what the
listener thought.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
By the way, is that was that time I want
to talk about it? I'm fine, Harris said, he's.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Upstairs if he comes downstairss upstairs right now, he's in
bed your bed? Yeah, that Laura left and he cooched
on and I saw him on his moped on your story.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yes, yes, sorry about that. I forgot to mute you
hide you from viewing my stories.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
If he was on like a Harley Davison or something.
I'd be like, that's pretty cool. He's on like some
shitty best.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Why do you hate Harrison?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I don't. Okay, So who did you unexpectedly Who did
you unexpectedly connect with? March?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Do you know who I was hoping I was going
to connect with and I feel like it happened. I
feel like it happened. Maybe it was one sided, maybe
he hated it, but I felt like we connected.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Who Husey? Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
I remember I thought he might be in the camp
and I was like, hughes he is so rich, that's
surely he doesn't need to be in armous celeb liked
Apparently they'd been asking him for a while and he
was like, no, I can't be stuffed. Yeah, but but
I was very star struck when I saw Hughesy.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Really yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I remember talking to him and I was very much
I was very aware of who I was talking to,
and I was like, say the right thing. You've met
him before, though only really briefly done his radio show,
so it's a quick five minute chat.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
So he had you as a guest.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I was a guest.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
But doesn't that point if you ask me, you're the
sort after guests.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
He plays tennis with Russell Crowe. That's that's the kind
of guy.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
They can't imagine Russell croping very good.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I thought that that's what you takeaway. He's so unfit.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
They're your words, maybe Gladiator Russell.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Because Hughesy was always down for the waterfall and.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
They really played that up on TV too. Meeting was
a real freak. They're real nature freak. He's like in
the fucking it was.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
It was intense. We would go down there to worship
the sun. We would worship the sun and we were
and Hughsey would be he would give us like life
lessons from Husey. He'd be like, remember, guys, it's all
about forgetting about what weighs you down. You've got to
be happy as we're standing there in the waterfall like
absorbing the sun.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
It was like it was to be part of a cult.
Now what's happening?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
We almost had a mass suicide from Hughsey was like
should we and we're like, we'll do it best season ever.
But husually, I hope that we're I hope we're still friends.
We're not going to hear this, he's not listening to
We'll get them on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
We'll try try our very hard. As the experience changed
your perspective on life at all, yeah, he did for
how long?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Annoyingly coming out of the jungle, you slot back into
your normal routine very quickly.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
I would, I'd be like straight away, like true scroll.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I remember coming out and I thought to myself, I
don't even need my phone. I had my phone back
and I was like, I don't even need it. And
then and then I plugged it in and it turned
on and I was like, I'll have a quick look
four hours later.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yeah. Yeah, when you opened it up, you didn't have
a beard. Yeah, I shaved freshly shave. Oh my phones.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
But it does. In the you're in the thick of
the jungle experience. You know things like a flushing toilet.
You know things like a fridge. You know, to be
able to just order in food and have it delivered
to your house. Those things when you're starving thirty days
every single day, those are little things you appreciate so much.
(32:48):
And then I'm going to sound you know, a bit
cheesy here, as you would have seen my reunion a
little bit emotional. I was missing the family quite a bit.
It makes you appreciate your family. You're you're starved of
all your luxury items. You're starved, you know, electricity and
warm water and food and all that. But then you're
also you're so starved of any connection with your family,
(33:09):
you know. And then I remember when those the letters came.
We get a letter, I think it was maybe twenty day,
three weeks in and like, I don't know if you've
ever had a letter that's made you cry, like for me,
I never have. I've never had a letter where I'm like,
I'm hanging on to every word.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
I got a citation from the RSL Club once that
maybe it was for a lifetime ban. I'm still upset
about it. So yeah, I get it. I know what
you mean.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
But you know, when you have all you have to
connect with your family is an a four piece of
paper with a few words, and you read that letter
ten times a day, every day, and you know you
would do anything just for that, you know, a little
bit more contact with your family, and then you get
out you.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Like, beat it. I can imagine like you did, you
you probably would have done a lot of like soul searching. Yeah,
I'm going to change this about my life. It's like
when you're really hungover, you're like, I'm going to change
so much about myself and then you have a good sleep,
like you know what, I'm perfectly fun.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, there were We got one of my luxury items
that I brought in was the paint set and it
had some pencils and there was some you know, everyone
had a few moments where they would then sit down
by themselves and they were kind of write their thoughts
and I kind of the best way I could treat
the experience in my mind to keep going was just
(34:36):
saying to myself, this is a really intense health retreat.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Yeah, every time, and this is just like this is
like rehab essentially. It was.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
It was that so I hope, I hope. My My
big takeaway from being in there was like spending more
engaged one on one time with kids, being in the moment.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Have you been trying to practice it more?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Very hard?
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yeah? It is hard, very hard. It is hard when
you don't want to do it.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Even this morning, like getting the kids out the door
and you're like, I love your kids so much and
I've missed you so much.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
But there's nothing like being slapped in the face by
reality that he is like young children. They don't give
a like for one day they're like, Oh, it's so
good to be daddy, to be home, and then they're like,
app cut it up. I've set the skin off. The
other day when I came over and it was like
Lola was like I'm hungry, and You're like, okay, what
(35:33):
would you like?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Like, wow, I forget how hard it is to parent
when you're trying to do nothing but give your children
a really fun experience, like on the weekends, like you're
take them to the beach, you pack up all your equipment,
you go down there. You're five minutes in and they're
like treating like you just drag them to the depths
of hell. And you're like you're on BONDI Beach right
(35:57):
now and it's a twenty five degree day, the sun
is out. I've got snacks, I've got towels, I've got
everything you could ever need. And you're like on the
floor having a tantrum.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
It's the word.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
And I'm trying to like transport back to where I
was in the jungle, being like I missed my kids.
I love them so hard, like.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Sitting there looking for faces in the rock. Yeah, like yesterday.
I was like, let's go, let's go to the park.
Let's go to the park. And he's like, yeah, yeah,
let's go to the park. Yeah, get in the car.
They both fell asleep in the car on the short
trip to the park. Got to the park and we're
at the parking. I don't want to go to the park,
and I'm like, we do this for you.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
It's like parenting. I forgot how hard. The one thing
the Jungle did is made me forget how hard parenting.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
You're not as parenting fit because oh no, no, I'm
like awful. I mean, let's talk about challenges really quickly. Yeah,
we spoke about food that you were given, but what
food that you had to eat didn't make you sick.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I were in the moment when we got all the
all the Stars, and because I was still buzzing off
the fact that my last challenge the basketball one. Sorry
about making you watch my attempts at basketball. That was hard, hard,
It was really hard. I wouldn't I wanted to redeem myself.
I wanted to come back a hero. So I was
so happy that we got all the Stars. And it
wasn't until we were blindfolded walking back to camp that
(37:13):
it was that off sour milk because it's just like
off milk. Oh, and we live streamed it and I
was like, yeah, I was. I was projectile vomiting like
the whole way back to camp. I got back into camp.
I then vomited again when I was in camp.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Did I give you anything for that or not?
Speaker 2 (37:30):
You just just like they kind of said, there's always
a medic on call, and the medic is just like
just drinks and water.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Yes, it's not like with poisoned. Yes, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
One time I was like I feel dizzy, and they
gave me a bit of attention, like they were like, okay,
this is kind of serious. And I thought about pretending
to be even dizzier to get food. Yes, but I did.
I didn't. It's like.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
That's such a thing kids do. Yeah, I got like
this all this bit of attention.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
It's like all I had one time was a sore
throat from like the yelling and the smoke, and I
got a lozenger and like save.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Like a sugar free You're like, so you did spew up?
Did anyone like just quickly did anyone get actually sick?
Like not just like food sick, but like because it's
like if you don't have if you're not taking in
the sustenance. Yeah, but we're not.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
You know, we're not got no contact with anybody else.
Read you go a little bit sick that no one
really got that unwell, no we were.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
You are in like a bubble. Yeah, a bubble any
like quarantine a little bit before.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Yeah, there's no gems in the jungle. Someone a fact,
so I don't know. Someone did say there was where
the creek round through. Someone was like, that water is
pretty clean, right, you could just drink it. And I
was like, I don't know if it is. And they
were about to drink it and it's it's just all
pit usually would be in the water. We found out
(39:00):
later Hughesy would piss in the water.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
For give it. He's a vegan, he doesn't drink. It's
probably good for you safe to say, we know who
you missed the most. That'd be me. If you're looking back,
what was your favorite memory, what's your favorite part of
the experience.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
I've got to say I've got to say that fam
coming in and just just for because people are like
you would have known the family were coming.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
In if that's that deep into the earth.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah, you know, like I've watched parts of the show before,
so you know that Top three had the ring in
with the family, but it was a Thursday that we
went from five to three. I thought the family coming
in might be like in a couple of days, like
on the Saturday maybe, but they split us up. They
kind of said, Sam, we had to do when we're
(39:43):
top three. They said, we're going to take some photos
because you guys are Top three, just so you know.
And they at this point production are like a bit
more relaxed at this stage.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
They're on the home stretch as well.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
Yeah, I saw a cameraman with a watch and I
was like, oh my god, oh my god. At the
time shackles are listening. I don't know how to read that.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
And then they said we'll take some individual shots. So
Sam and Reggie left and they said, Matt, just sit
on the just sit on like the bed, and we'll
just you know, just just have a think about some
of your favorite memories. We just get a couple of
pensive shots and this is over the speaker and I
was like, okay. So I was like looking at the
fire and I honestly did not expect Laura they were coming.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
At that point.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I had no idea at all. So when they were like, daddy, fuck,
I've watched it back and it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
May I cried. Yeah yeah, I was like, oh fuck.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah. A few people were like, oh fuck, come on,
bro ham it up for the cameras, but even Laura
at the time was like like pull it together.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I was like, I caught myself crying and I was.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Like it was it was a lot. So that was
That was my favorite moment. And then we did a
challenge where we had to we were dancing as a
scientist go doing the Chinese whispering oh yeah, yeah, and
you forget how good music.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Is, Like, oh true.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
We had no music, and so we had this really
crappy like German eighties techno song that was Right's Free
being played and I don't know if you guys heard
it when you're watching it, but we were just dancing
to that and like that was just for a moment,
just yeah, I turned around. Everyone's you know I think
I like, as I ran down the line, I like
was grinding Reggie.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
She would have laughed at are right?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Actually funny moment with Reggie when we would walk to
the waterfall, I would often take a hand. I would
like chaperone her, help her because she can't see if
anyone who doesn't know, she's only got about ten percent
of a vision left. And one time I forgot to say,
there's a rock in front of you, and she hit
(41:49):
the rock and she was about to fall over. I'm
holding her hand and she goes to grab something. Oh no,
and she grabs my penis. She grabs my penis so tightly,
and that is what like steadies her.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
And I'm like.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
And she's like, hang on, is that your penis?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
That's her move for sure. It's like you our people
stop short in the car. She's like, let me grab
your cock. I've already got it. I've already got it.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
And I didn't want to say yeah. I want to
make sure that she's okay, so I didn't react. I
didn't flinch.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
She gets up as you guys, congratulations, that'll be fifty dollars.
It's a lucky woman.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
And then and so often whenever we like walk to
the waterfall, after that, she's like, you're gonna put me
into another rock. I'd like push him into a intrigue, just.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Get some action, all right? Post show, you're back. We're
happy you're back. You were happy you made it in
one piece. So were the listeners. So we did have
a lot of questions, Matt about your relationship with a
daughter of yours by the name of Vlola. Who who
Marley is the eldest, Lola is the youngest. Who Lola,
before you left, you weren't her favorite person.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
I was posted this video. I did a I did
a video of what it was like when I said
goodbye to the kids. Marley was hysterical. You know, I'm
like explaining to them that I'm going to be gone
for a long time. Marley's in tears. Lola was literally
like shut the fuck up. She was like yeah, she
didn't care at all. And then when I saw Laura
we get reunited, She's like, Lola's really been missing you,
(43:30):
And I was like, has she really? But after we
left the jungle, the Top six, they're all staying at
a lodge outside of the camp and their family's there.
Lola was like locked on to me, locked onto me
and would like wouldn't like I had to give her
a bath, like brush your teeth, get addressed, things that
(43:51):
back home. Normally she'd be like, do not touch me,
get away from me. And May didn't give a shit.
Marley was like, hey, man walked off. We'reas low. Were like,
couldn't it enough for me?
Speaker 1 (44:01):
She missed her pin cushion. That's what it is. You're
like a pin cushion where she's like and she didn't
have that. When I was talking to Laura the whole time,
like in the records, when you were gone, she was like,
she was like, Lola just like has no one to hate,
like like it was so weird, but.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Then it was for the record as well. The business
class seat flight a couple of crap from Life on
cut listeners for the record. For the record, Laura had
that seat ten of the twelve hours of the flight.
I gave up my seat to Laura, so I sat
there with Lola.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Oh, the story's changing.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
So we're in premium. Marley's a sleep in one seat.
We're in the middle row. Laura was in the middle
arm on the outer She slept in my arms that
whole time. Remember sound like a hero. That sound like
a hero. Anyone would have done the same thing. But
normally I remember thinking wondering what it would be like
to have Lola sleep in your arms, because it was
(45:02):
always Laura and it happened for the first time and
I was like, this is amazing. It's starting to rub off. Now.
This morning she woke up, Laura was out the door
and Lola was like, you, where's mom? And I was like,
she's gone for work and she was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
God, yeah, it just ruins their day immediately.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yeah, so it's starting to rub off. But for the
first week back, it's been pretty amazing.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, that's good. Oh, I'm happy. I can't wait to
get an update. A question that was on everyone's mind,
junk jacks, did you get one away?
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Look, I don't want to talk about it, Yes you do. Okay,
people don't want to hear about this part of the
jungle experience. It's it's a bit crass, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
Just cover your ears?
Speaker 2 (45:51):
This is a lot of information. I can't. Okay, let
me take my pants off in the jungle. It's weird.
That's switch of like being horny is gone.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
I was not going to say, it's right there.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
You everyone like speaking to the other boys and no
sex drive, zero sex drive. The last thing you're thinking
about maybe because your body's just trying to hold onto
like every last drop of nutrients that to expel any
semen would be so detrimental, so your body is like
(46:31):
it's not thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
At all, So you're forced one out.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
And so we were talking about, you know, early days,
like who's going to have a jungle jack, and people
were like, yeah, we might have a jungle jack. And
then like after the first week, everyone's like, actually, there's
no way I could even even if I wanted to,
I'm not going to be able to jungle jack.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
Okay, do they know who they're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
So maybe I wasn't sleeping that well, Okay, it would
It would take me normally like an hour to get
to sleep. And I was also up really early as well.
I'd lay in bed trying to get back to sleep,
and that's exhausting. It's you know, you want to get
to sleep, and then as well, you know, you got
you got the animals to deal with cigarettes, you know,
(47:15):
you want to try and get to sleep before she
starts snoring like a freight train. So one night, this
is maybe like three weeks in, I'm tossing and turning,
not like that.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
That was quick.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Everyone's asleep. I kind of like sit up in bed
and because you have lanterns, he can dimly lit, and
I'm like, everyone's sleeping. I'm not gonna I'm not going
to do it. The only the only place where there
is no cameras is in the toilets. And I'm like,
part of me, there's literally two voices in my head.
One is saying, let's just go to go to the toilets.
(47:51):
Do it. Let's just do it. It'll help you get
to sleep. And then the other voice is like, that's disgusting,
don't don't do it. And then I'm like, I'll try
and get back to sleep. Try off another like what
felt like ten twenty minutes, I'm wide away. I'm like,
you know what, it's nature's sleeping pill. So I go
(48:12):
over to the make my way, put my boots on,
make my way down to the long drop, get into
the long drop. Yes, it's like, oh man, we would
change the toilets. There was a massive bucket underneath the
long drop and we would change it every morning. So
it's been a forty degree day full of shit. You're
(48:33):
in there. It smells like shit, you know, And I'm
looking at my penis, which is the size of a walnut,
and I'm like, oh god, come on, buddy, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's like it's it does not want to get up
at all. I'm like, come.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Give me something, trying to bring some.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Life into this guy. And you know, I'm in there
in my modesty, smock, in this modesty in the long drop,
which thinks of shit, trying to get something, trying to
get a direction, and nothing's working, and I'm like, goodness.
So after maybe like it felt like ten minutes, I
(49:17):
start to get some blood float and I'm like, Okay,
we're good. We've got something here. We've got something here,
so we're kind of we're making progress. But I'm also thinking, like,
hope no one has to get up in the middle
of the night and go to the toilet, because you know, anyway,
So making great progress, getting towards the pointy end, if
(49:38):
you know what I'm saying. I'm now conscious that I
don't want to make a mess in the long drop.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Were you sitting or standing standing? Nice?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
So with my left hand, I get the toilet paper.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Oh you your prepping' and I'm like I've given.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
Myself a homemade baseball, mit to catch, to catch what's
about to come into it.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
I'm digging it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
So I've got this baseball mit. I'm like, ready, okay,
I'm going to I'm gonna catch this thing. Okay. So
I'm like getting towards Enna, Jess. I'm so sorry to
talk about this in front of you, also so to
all listeners. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to catch
this in the baseball mitt. And then the moment it happens,
(50:25):
it's like a water main being struck.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
It's like square yeah, And I'm like.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
I've caught a little bit of it, but also a
lot of it's now everywhere and inside the long drop,
the walls are just dried mud.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
That's so you contributed to the structural integrity of that toilet.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Now I'm like, okay, crab, I want to I got
to clean this up. I can't have people in the
morning being like, what are crystals?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
Come on the wall?
Speaker 2 (50:59):
The toilet paper is like a single ply right, It's
like you know. I'm like, so I try and wipe
it off, and then the toilet paper is like attached
now to the dried clay, and and I'm.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Like, god, damn it, this is this is awful. People
are going to know.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
People are going to know, Yeah, this's just like shreds
of toilet paper. And then I'm like, I've got to
try and remove it. So there's a little shovel that
you can that we would put every time we get
the toilet you put charcoal and sawdust over your business.
And I was like, I'm going to use that shovel
to like shave off the dried mud. So I'm there, like,
(51:39):
would you be.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
The first person to ever get rid of semen with
the shovel?
Speaker 2 (51:46):
So I'm shaving off all the mud. I'm like, I'm like,
it's a construction work. Now I'm like jack hammering away. Yeah.
And I'm also like this looks a bit sus because
on one side it's all just like dried mud.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
And when it's like shave, it's just like flattened.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
But I'm like I did in a way which wasn't
obvious that I got rid of the evidence. And then
but then I realized something, Wow, ash, I realized I've
done something very silly. Oh no, Okay, when you're in
the jungle, it's drilled into you that you have to
wear something at all times. Yes, a microphone.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Oh my god, so I.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Everyone, I'm wearing a microphone.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
What okay, we're heavy. There just be a lot of
heavy breathing. People probably think you're taking a monster shit
in there, unless do you do you talk to yourself?
Speaker 2 (52:47):
Come on, I got it's everywhere.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
So okay, has anything? Did any want to say anything?
Speaker 2 (52:52):
No one saying? I think they kind of I then
it wouldn't be the first I grabbed my microphone. I
was like, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
That was could calm. I went all over the walls picture.
Speaker 2 (53:05):
I just wanted to I was just like in case
it was someone listening, and I just wanted to say,
I'm really I'm okay, very so then I had to yeah.
I then close the long drop door and did you
get to sleep? And then I like a baby. But
the guilt, the guilt of walking back into camp and
(53:30):
whoopsie like a bit flustered heart.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Any water.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
Replenish what I've just like, I'm like, I'm so dehydrated,
just like bang of bones.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
Your skins are really tight.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
Hop back into bed and I was like, I'm an
awful I'm a disgusting human being. And then towards the end,
I was like to the others. I was like, we all,
we all did it right? No, I was like everyone like, yeah,
come on.
Speaker 1 (54:05):
We all like a good gear. I love that. Did
anyone just be like, yeah, me too, just like make
Maddy feel better.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
It looked accusing, and I was excuse it.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
Come on. It was like, damn it, man, have some
self control.
Speaker 2 (54:21):
So just the once, yeah, just well twice.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
God it was one the end.
Speaker 2 (54:28):
It was like the second last night, I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1 (54:30):
That's good gear.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
I like that, But the second time I didn't. I
didn't wear the microphone.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
Okay, do you get in trouble? What were you doing
in there? Wanking?
Speaker 2 (54:38):
Not so? Yeah, I am disgusting, I'll admit it. That
was the highlight of my That's fine.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
I would have given them the go too.
Speaker 2 (54:46):
I didn't. I didn't enjoy I didn't. For the record,
it wasn't enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
Yeah, Matthew, one last thing, Yes, I have something for you.
It's a lovely slice of mango.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
I'm not sure I did I actually say. I don't
remember saying that I would rather eat a mango than
have sex with my wife.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
Yeah, you did quite openly say that, and you didn't
mix up your words there at all?
Speaker 2 (55:11):
You did that.
Speaker 1 (55:12):
You said, Hey, guys, just so you know, if I
had a choice between this mango and having sex with
my wife, I would take the mango.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Shit.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
But we all, I look, honestly, well, Laura's not here,
what about me? That's a that's a good look at mango. Yes,
cover here is. Oh yeah, ah, it's funny. Sex sounds
the same as that that is, looks good, smells really good.
Oh my god, but we all know what you're man
(55:48):
that that you were just expressing how much how good
that mango was at the time. What about now mango
or sex with your wife?
Speaker 2 (55:57):
I don't know. Mango's pretty bloody good. That's all A
good time for Thanks, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
That's all right. Do you want me to wrap this
up all right? While Matt does his best to perform
filatio on that mango. If you've enjoyed this episode, please
give us a review, subscribe that's lovely, lovely. Oh. You
can join us on social media Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, that's
(56:26):
a good mango, very very good. We will be back
next week with a regular with a regular episode. Oh man,
he's really making up of that mango. I'm getting an erection,
so I must go.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
Good to be back.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
Goodbye. For now. I'm doing fine too.
Speaker 2 (56:43):
By the way, Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional
custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land,
see and community.
Speaker 1 (57:02):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today
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