March 18, 2025 • 44 mins
Keeping the kids entertained is just another form of parent torture.
This week, the Wicks decided to spend "family day" at the big shops, but who needs a car when you can jump on the rollercoaster double-decker bus?
It could not have been more of a disaster.
Matty J. and Laura have gotten into a tiff about daycare contraband. Who do you think is in the right?
Parenting Lies has returned, and this week, Matty J shares an ingenious lie his mother, Ellie, told him growing up that he has only just discovered!
We also answer your questions:
- Do you have any regrets about the name of your child?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ah, Matt, before we do get started. So I just
wanted to thank you some travel advice. What did I
tell you? It was last year on the way to Vegas.
I had a conundrum, I had a thought, and then
you put my mind at ease and I forgot about
it until I got back on the plane this year.
What did I do? Well? Why don't you start the episode?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Okay, welcome back to Two Doing Dads. I am Maddie
Jays and this is a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
And if you come for advice.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Sorry oops, wrong podcast, not us, see ya.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
No, actually stay advice as if you come for advice,
not us. Anyway, what was the advice advice we do have? Yeah?
Last year we went to Vegas together and I quite
I don't like flying because I'm uncomfortable in a particular way,
so back or just anxiety?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
What's thorting my farts in wit if you're on a
plane far away?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Thank you? I took that advice this time traveled so
comfortably where they smelly? Oh yeah, I was like, I
think one of them woke me up. I got on
the plane next to these two lovely Americans, and I
was like, get ready, and I just let I was
(01:39):
honestly like forty our flight, A breeze, A breeze out
of my buttole.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Apparently, apparently, I don't know if there's any science behind this,
but you know when you have a bottle of water
and you put the lid on when you're on the
tarmac and you're in the air, Yeah, and the bottles
are like compressed.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, yeah, you got to do that.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Apparently that's what because I wee a lot when I'm
in the air.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
On a plane. Opposit, I don't barely we like, I did.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
One Wii on a fourteen hour flight, and you're not
doing my scientific fact here any favors.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Well, it could be different from you do you fart
more on a plane? Oh yeah, there you go. I
think the human body knows when when you're not places
you're not meant to farts. It's the cabin pressure. But
like if I'm just a home and I'm in bed
and I'm like, okay, I got a Wii, and I
was like, it's probably you know, I could do a
fart here and keep people happy. I don't need a fart.
But then I get back into bed. It's like I
(02:33):
got a fart.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
That is the number one complaint that I get from Laura.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I hop in a bed and she goes, why do
you have to fight when you get into bed? I go,
I can't help it. This is where I needed to fart.
I can't. I can't help you know, when I need
to fight, I need to fart. If that happens and
I'm just in bed and I pulled the blankets up,
I apologize, it was like you were just in the
bathroom anyway. I just just very Yeah. I wanted to
(03:01):
just thank you for that. You're well. You made the
trip much more enjoyable. I was at one point I
was like laying down because I had two best seats
and there was people around me, and I just went
It is awkward when it really does smell. The best
time to do it is during meal time because the
meal is usually quite pungent. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I have a bad poker face, and it is hard
when you have to try and hide when you farted
and people are like, you can see someone else going
is that smells a bit, and you have to try
and pretend like you know, yeah, you're confused as well.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Going is that. I think everyone's like probably sitting there
being like say anything anything. It is such a relief.
It is such a relief.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Hey, did you notice anything at the front of my
house yesterday? By the way, when you were you're visiting,
did you notice anything?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I know you got a haircut, small, small haircut. I
did something stupid. You didn't cut the dick plan off.
No dick plans still there. I actually have that video
still it's grown. Yeah, I have a grower.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I have a yucker and it's grown a root that
comes out the size of a penis.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
It looks like an uncircumcised peanist. Like it is uncanny.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Remind me after this episode, I did a video where
I'm edging. I think Laura goes edge the gardens and
I'm like, sure, very good, and then I'm there jerking off.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
The oh that's good. Why have you not posted that?
I don't know. I forgot. I forgot to say, remind me.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I don't know if it's the same over in the
Northern Beaches for anyone outside of New South Wales, we
or in Bondo, we get too allocated. Cancel cleanup pickups
per calendar year.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
You've got to book them in. Though you got to
book them in, you get too free. I love that
when there's one person actually books one in and then
everyone in the same streets just like must be a
counsel cleaner and throw stuff out the front of their
house and it gets picked up. That's a loophole. That's
a council loophole. It didn't happen, unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
But you know, anyone who's never had a council cleanup
pick up collection, whether the fuck it's called, the way
it works, the way it works, it is very complicated.
How have they not had one of people just don't
have junks like us.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I feel like I was.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I was very late to the council cleanup bandwagon.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I love walking past the pile of council cleanup and
pretending not to look, and then fighting the urge.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Looks it was raining when I put out the stuff,
so people didn't. I love watching people come and.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Scale that, yeah we should do that, and just be like, get.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
But you got to put it out the night before,
gets picked up in the morning. I forgot that it
was out there. So when I got the kids in
the car for daycare and school drop off, they were.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Like what's this? And I was like, fuck, all this
stuff in the front, all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I had this blackboard with magnets that that was out there.
Their little camer little sofas that have a fold out.
They get moldy as fuck, those things so moldy.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
They were out there. Lola's potty was out there as well,
and she was like what do you throw this out for?
There were a bunch of hoarders, my kids. I was like,
it was a nightmare. Ash. I had to had to
peel them off. You know we talk about people scavenging, Yeah,
it was like my kids. Yeah, they were like going
through and throwing cushions everywhere, being like why are you
throwing this bachelor out for? We can keep that? And
(06:40):
I was like, far out. They don't understand the concept
of like throwing things out unless it's like, you know,
food scraps or whatever. Because I remember when we did
we sort of piled a bunch of old toys up
not to throw them out. We're going to give them
to Goodwill because that was still fine, and we stupidly
put them in a container and then one day we
(07:02):
came home and the clear container was like sitting there
ready to be taken and Oscar was like, what's that.
He's like, that's my my Americ control cars in there
like you hasn't used in like two years. And it
was like I turned my back one second and he's
in there and he's got it all out, and it's
like for Fox, it's a nightmare. Council cleaner, but picked up,
(07:22):
picked up in the afternoon, beautiful, Yeah, lovely. I feel
I feel like the weight has been just lifted off
my shoulders. I had a rug that bust to shot
on like the worst diarrhea Nane. I gave him some
brown rice no good for dogs.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
So that rug that used to be there under the
coffee table that's been down the side of the house
just covered in dog shit for like four months.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Imatching the stench on that thing.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Carrying that down the side of the house, moldy from
the rain, remnants of dog diarrhea. Oh yeah, I'm just
I'm a new man since having that council cleanup.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's better than therapy, is April loves and my going
in treat yourself. My father in law does this thing
where he drives around the streets looking for piles to
throw stuff out him. So that stuff. People have already
ordered one and he's got ship in the back of
his car. He's like, that's good behaviors back at night.
(08:18):
But I couldn't do that the amount of anxiety I
have and I put in a garbage bin into someone
else's like that that.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Feels like you're breaking the law, feels like but he's
drubbing around. Yeah, the car full of that's bold.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
That's a friend of mine owns a company called my Bins,
which is like they move the bin from this sponsor.
Shout out to my Bins. They're good guys. They move
the bins from your house to the street and back.
That's that's part of the service, the service, the offering,
whatever you want to call it. And he was like, dude,
people are so territorial on their bins. Like he's like,
(08:55):
we have some people that will be like make sure
when you do put the bins out that no one
puts any stuff in there. And they're like it's half full.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
And then I'm not security, bro, I'm here to take
the bens out.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And it's like but also to get like, have you
ever tried to get a replacement bin or an extra bin? No,
your rates go through the roof. You're trying to get
another bin. Oh yeah, yeah. They charge you per bin obviously.
And if you get a bigger bin, get a bigger bin.
That's more money. Yeah, because people have a little miniature bin.
Have you seen the size of my bin? And I've
got two kids, one still in nappies overnight. It's a nightmare. Yeah,
(09:28):
you guys are the neighbors. I'm feeling the neighbor's bin.
As soon as the sun goes down, I'm out there
pooty on balaclava. What you and April's dad we both
got gloves on so no fingerprints can be left behind.
And I'm up the street the other day. Actually I
got caught. That reminded me. I got caught. I was
the guy across the street. There's there're two old couples
(09:50):
at a huge house. Yeah, two old couples, one old couple,
two old people, and that it's always half full, like
and I'm like, it's like next up. She's listening to
have to talk. She's she's pretty old, bro. I think
she's gonna hear it. She's like, and I was like,
all right, coach is clear. Yeah, across the road, you know,
(10:13):
pink panther music, opened it up, went to put it
in and they drove in the driveway. Oh this is
not my bin right, thankfully they're old. I had like
I was just like, you know, I'm not young, but
like they were just like too afraid. I was like, yeah,
(10:34):
good thing you got tats on. Yeahs on, good thing
you have tats. I got my tats on Today weekend,
matt weekend with kids, you know, it's like you're trying
to find ship to do, trying to keep me entertained,
and sometimes you I find and I don't know if
you're the same. You just end up going to different
parks and it's fucking like parks are boring. There's some
(10:55):
parks its like, got some things going on. But April
was very much like, it's the Flying Fox Park. No,
obviously one of them.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
If anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about, listen to
last week's episode where Ash had to go about Flying
Fox parks.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yes, continued not a fan. Over the weekend Saturday, April said,
look tomorrow Sunday Family Day or do something different. I
was like, sweet, no worries, and she was like, why
are you doing the like the finger I felt like
it was necessary family day, because every day's family. I
have a family. Every day I have a family. So
(11:30):
what you're saying to me is the first six days
of the week I have no family. Is how this works?
Obviously not? Did you say that? No, I want to
sleep indoors and I and she was like, she said
that to me just before I was leaving to go
to the football which first game of the year. I'm
gonna I'm going to sink some tins. Football was on Saturday, Saturday.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Night, right, So she was just like, Hey, don't forget
about us.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Family Day tomorrow. I just come back from Vegas. I
get it. She was like, do whatever you like tonight,
just get up in the morning. And I'm like, I
know what that means. Noted, that means get up in
the morning. And you're very very I'm very observant taking information.
(12:17):
And I woke up the next day bit Dusty and
April said it's family Day. I said, what are we
doing today then? And she said, We're going to take
a bus to the Big Shops, which is you know,
like a decent bus trip to a bigger shopping center,
which just at ring them all. So we've got like
a small one in worriing, like worry would square where
did you take me that time? That's just where I
(12:38):
would square. I think that's a small shop, small shops,
great shops, great shops. Perfect for me, but not big
enough for April, not big enough for family day. But
she was like, it's an adventure and it's like Macy
had never been on a bus. Oscar has but as
you know, on the Northern Beaches, we've got the double
decker bus. Yeah you guys, you guys must be thank
(12:58):
you trade my chamis needy and I was like, oh okay,
it was a bit dusty. I was like, well, let's
go down. We drove down to the bus stop. We
went sat waiting for the bus to come and it's
a big, two story bus and the kids are super
excited to get on. Oscar's already been on before, sitting
up the top. We didn't get to sit at the
front at the top, but Macy seems has taken Yeah,
(13:20):
there's a few spots like that's annoying way through, which
is still good, but it's Macey was petrified like she
was on a roller coaster. She was like grabbing hold
of April, like away from the window and she was
trying to get she was trying to get out. The
stairs are really steep. The bus took off and she
was like, and then they must be so used to
(13:41):
being like locked down in a baby seat. Yeah, now
all of a sudden they're on the road unhinged. So
she was petrified all the way there, and Oscar the
whole time was like, I'm board, on board, and then
we get off the bus and I was like, that
was amazing. And I was like, I don't know, I
don't know. I don't think they just say that to
fill the gap when there's nothing to say. They're just like,
(14:01):
I'm bored. And she was like me, he has to
fill the air with words at all times, Like he's
just like continuous. I wonder where he gets from. Anyway,
we did the shopping. Yep, what are you buying? On
family Day? April needed some tights before and the kids
wanted to look at toys at a different shop. Okay,
what are the times for just exercise? Exercise? Yeah? Nice?
(14:22):
Anyone wants to give my wafe some tights she needs?
Did April get the tights? No? Ah? What classic get
all the way to the big shops. No tights. I
was like, not a single tight. No. She tried on
some and I just found seats to sit in. That's
pretty much all. She wasn't happy with the tights. Wasn't
happy with it. Okay, okay, a bit painful, but look, honestly,
(14:45):
I don't really have a leg to stand on. I've
sort of just got to go along and carry everything
for the trip. Is April listened to these episodes, Yeah,
I'd love to know what was wrong with the tights.
Camel tooe. That's not even a joke, very particular my wife. Sorry, everybody,
(15:05):
let's get back on track. We're getting back on the bus.
Macey's brave again. She wants to walk on her own
onto the bars, get up up the stairs, up the stairs.
She got on. She's quickly scared again and she's like, oh,
you know, because it's quite rocky. But then shable. She
was distracted by the fact that upstairs there's no bus driver,
(15:27):
because the bus driver's downstairs, but she didn't because she's
so small, she didn't see the bus driver on the
way in. So now she's obsessed thinking that the bus
drives herself, and it started to freak her out, like,
where's the driver? She kept pointing, like where's the driver?
Did you explain to her or you like, I don't
know where it is. I was like, it's on the roof.
She was just like, oh, so we stopped. We'll let
(15:48):
the kids press the button. They love pressing buttons. They're like,
press the button for every stop. And we stopped it
Narrabeene to get off, and Macey they were they pressing
for not their stop, like because thankfully it's sort of
bus that stops at that main only the main stops anyway.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Because the best way to piss off a bus driver
is to press the stop button and no one gets off.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Anyway. We get to Narrabeene and it's Macy's brave again
and wants to walk off the bus and they're quite
steep steps. Can I just say it's I get I
get stressed out when the bus stops. You don't have
a lot of time to get off the bus. This
is what happened. Macy wanted to get off on herself,
took forever fucking grab her stop. Oh god, she latched
(16:37):
onto the railing, missed the stop. I'm en route to
Mona Vail. Did anyone get off the bus. It was April. No,
no one, We're all stuck behind Macy. Would you yell
out say hey, it was too late, we will move.
We're on the go. And we had to go to
the next bus stop. Where did you guys end up?
The next bus stop, which is the next suburb. Get off,
(17:01):
walk across, Walk across the busy main road back to
the other side. Wait another ten minutes for a bus
to come back to take us back the other way.
Is she having naps still? Yeah? Oh god? So where
how are you at nap time? We are way past now.
Did you have any food on you? We had some? Yeah,
they did have like little lunchboxes thing. Thank god? What
(17:23):
about me, Matthew? Sorry? Yeah, I hung over as fu
and I'm like, I'm on a bars the whole time,
Like I had a porto at the shops. Did you
have chips? Oh? Yeah, for God's sake, what do you
do it to yourself? Okay, let me tell you's not
the thing. A meal is not complete without chips. Yeah,
(17:44):
but chips for you are like valiant. I I ate
a large chips for I go to sleep. It's like
sleeping tablet. I've never seen someone getting knocked horizontal quicker
than hash wigs having a couple of chippies. Bro, I'm
like comatized.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Whatever you when we have lunch here and we have
some chippies, I'm worried about you driving home.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Comatosed. Just the potato, the starchy potato does it for me.
Do you know what really gets me? When you're dipping
chips in potato and gravy. Think of that one type
of fried chip dipped in mush chip. The calves are
through the roofs. I'm just like, First of all, I'm like,
you've got You've got to stop doing it to yourself.
I love it. But I was on the bus very
(18:31):
much like, oh man, I can't wait to get off
this bus next minute, I'm fucking missing the stop doing
a complete uti. Did you get home? We got home
and I fell straight asleep like three hours. It's a
big day for me. Family day is a big day
for ad. And then we yeah, spent the rest of
the day at the park. That sounds awful. But the
(18:52):
bus when we got to the shops after the first
bus trip April stupidly leant over to me to go
I wish we drove and I was like, you fucking idiot, Like,
don't you dare tell me that, because I would have
drove us to get home be on the bus. Buses.
Bus is fun, but you know it is more fun
(19:13):
electric bikes. Yes, feel me? And I did see that. Yeah,
I got my electric bike on the weekend. What are
your thoughts on the cool factor of that bike? It's
it's low. I don't want that look for me. I
love it. I love that bike. I want one, honestly.
I like the idea of the kids on the back,
like Osco, I've got him on the front of mine?
(19:35):
Is yours? A fat boy? What's your bonds? A fucking
juicy boy? Is it cool? Fat boy? Is that the brand?
A brand called fat boy? I got a Drodi and
you one on the way, you have a cool one.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I've got two kids, and I didn't like the idea
of trying to put one in the front.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
One of the backs I've got. I've got the one
that I've got like a flat bed. It's a long tray,
but it's got small wheels, way more practice. It's aqua.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
It's aqua color aqua, and I wish it was more
time aqua.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I wish it was black. I wish it was, you
know that's but I guess aqua is quite bright. We
could we can paint it. I'm not going to paint it,
which gets to scrap up a subscription. I'm not gonna
what's a subscription? Yeah, just run me through that, Okay.
So you pay an amount of money per week like
a rental. Yeah, subscription. They're pretty much just does it
(20:27):
rent to own? Subscribe to own? Ah? No, So if
we fuck it o, it's you've got to pay for
the whole thing a little bit. Yeah, But the kids
love it.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Kids absolutely enjoy it, and it's a little bit hairy
at some points on the road. At daycare this morning,
sun was out, beautiful day and my niece goes to
the same daycare as Lola, and so I was like, hey,
let's not go in the car, let's go on the bike.
But little Chassy mcghazzy, my niece, she was a bit
(20:59):
like what fuck is this thing?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
She's like, never been on a bike. Where's zebelt? She's
never been on a bike before. Well, she's been a
training wheels. Yeah, So she was a bit like Macie
where she was like how does this thing work? Lola's
there strapped in.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
She's got a baby seat, and then there's just two
little handle bars. Yeah, I saw that, and so I
put Chazy there. And then there's certain points we go downhill,
we get like forty k's an hour.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
They do zip and I'm like, you guys have fun
back there. I was like slow. She even goes what
happens if I fall out? And I said, just hold on,
You're not going to fall if you hold it on. Yeah,
that's what I said. She was freaking the hell. Lola
was like, she's loving it. She's sitting in the back
there having a cigarette. She's just like faster driver. April
(21:50):
like same thing she gets on every now and then
with me, and she's just like, is this safe? Hold
on she's got Yeah, she's really on the love handles too.
Can I ask you a question? No? Yeah, go, You're
can't ask me anything, like.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I just want to know if I've done the wrong thing. Here,
wait on me, go Okay, have I done the wrong thing?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Or is Laura in the wrong At the moment, I'm
doing all of the daycare drop offs with Lola on
the bike from now from this point on bikes other
than rain weather permitting Lola. I don't know if I
mentioned this.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
She's at a new daycare, really struggling with the drop offs,
really struggling. We're now six seven, eight weeks in tears
most mornings. It's hard. And then this morning, Lola's like,
I'm going to bring this toy. And she had this
big bunny that's giant. It's like, you know, big guy.
(22:45):
You push a button on its belly and it sings
a song and it dances.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Right, you're not allowed that to take care. You're not
allowed to take I want I get you kids kid
you know kids, right, yeah? Kids, kids, two kids. I'm
just so.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Lola's like, I'm bringing this thing and I'm like, you're
not bringing that thing, and she's like, but I'm allowed to.
And I said, well, who said you're allowed to? You
gues Mom told me? And I was like, there's no
way that mom has said yes to this, and so
I'm like, I'm going to fucking get you here, Lola.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I was like, did mom really say that? Let's give
her a call.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
So I call Laura on speaker next to Lola who's
holding the bunny.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
And I was like, fucking you're going to learn. You're
going to get called out here, Lola lie to me
and say, tell me that your mother has allowed this.
Please try they try and play you against each other.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
She was trying to play me, and I was like, no,
on my watch, pow. I love where this is going
so cool Laura, And I said, did you say to Lola?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Look at Laura. Did you say to Lola? You did
she could bring the bunny rabbit, the one that it
sings and it dances. And then Laura goes, yeah, okay, okay,
they're in cahoots those two. You're never gonna Lola in particular,
(24:02):
You're never gonna They've already had this chat.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Oh yeah last night. Yeah, I don't know where I was.
They've they've they've gone.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
We'll loop him in when the time comes, because if
we loop him in now, it'll be a problem from
now until we leave. But if I loop him in
when we leave, it's only a problem for that long.
So I said to Laura, what do you mean you
said yes to the toy? And she goes, well, we
had a conversation that if there was anything that would
(24:31):
help Lola with a drop off process, make it a
bit easier for her, we would allow it and I say, yeah,
but you know the rules at daycare, no toys that
make any noise. You're allowed like a.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Little soft toy that they can have as a comforter.
And she goes, I didn't know that. I may have
said something, may have said something which was fighting words.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm going to just quickly say it's it's on for Laura.
That's a great I think she's what she's doing there
is she's trying to make your life easier for drop off.
So I'm going to just quickly jump on her side
and say because you did mention anything that makes it
easier for her, I'm then.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Going to feel the wrath from daycare when I come
in there.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Stand up to the man. I can't do rules as rules.
You know that break a few rules, can't. I'm the
new guy. I'm playing by the rules. No be a rogue,
go rogue.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Why I said to Laura when she was like, well,
I didn't know that, And I said, yeah you would
if you went to any of the orientation days.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Where did you sleep last night? Well that was this morning?
Where you sleeping at night? How did that go down? Yeah? Really?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Yeah good? I thought I thought that might be the case,
she would have taken that on the chin. Laura, of
all people, would have really taken that on the chin.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
And so then so then I've got a situation where
I've now got a very angry wife.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
I've also got Lola who's in tears. And I'm not
stepping down for no one. I'm going to say that
you so you needed to put your pride aside at
that moment. So I hung up, and then, oh, oh
my god, help yourself. I'm on Laura's side. I think, Laura,
(26:18):
my arm's trying to make it easier for Lola and
you and you fighting it is causing more of a problem.
But surely every parent, everyone who's had any kind of
experience with daycare knows that you're not allowed a toy
other than like a little soft toy, jump on board
and sneak it in.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
But then, but then I'm setting Lola up to fail.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
She's going to get it taken away from her. She's
going to hate daycare even more. You're making about a point,
but I'm more what's easier for me, you know what
I mean? Like, my kids do the same thing. I
think all kids do the same thing. Where they go
I want to take this because they want to show
their friends. I now just say, if we're in the car,
I say take it, but you're to leave it in
the car. You tried that one? No, No, it works
(27:07):
if they strap it into their own seat. It's fun
little game. Move on. But I'm with Laura to say,
whatever is it? Because she's struggling. She wasn't struggling. I'm
on a different side. But because she's struggling, and we
had this conversation when you're in the jungle that Lola
was really upset. And now we're doubt how many more
weeks down the track and it's still happening. It's months.
Break some rules for your kids, bro. Consider in silence,
(27:34):
did Laura message you before we recorded? No? Why? I
just don't know. It just seems like you're very much
on her team. I would it would I would suffer
more if I was to jump onto your team. But
I think you got to bend some rules every now
and then. I get that they might take it off her,
but I don't think they're going to hastily take it
off her, are they? And if they did, then you
(27:56):
know this is the wrong day, the wrong daycare game.
I'll digest this conversation. I know you're not happy with me.
I can see it that or you're hungry. I can't
work out which one of it is. But I can't
sit here and take your side all the time. Let's
move this along. Okay, So where do we end up?
(28:17):
You haven't spoken to what synth of you? Now? I
got to call it after this and what what's going
to happen? What's gonna happen on the phone. Are you're
going to I know you you're not apologize. I'm going
to back down. I don't apologize. You are not. Have
I gotten through? I don't know. I've got a big
quick question for you. Do your kids have any I've
got a real big question for you. You're ready for this,
(28:39):
big boy? Go on? What do you got? It's better
be good. I wanted to ask if your kids have
any allergies, because you don't what going to school now
and there's like they're not allergy that everyone fucking talks about.
What have you got for me? I only have one
allergy and it's two penicillin, A specific type of penicillin.
But why I asked you? Because obviously sometimes it gets
(29:02):
passed down to kids and kids have. Macy's allergic to
something which is devastating. Chocolate band aids what she's allergic
to the other day, that's not devastating. That's a great result. No,
it's not. Because now anytime she hurts herself and she
wants a band aid, I can't give a one because
(29:24):
she breaks out in a rash. You ever a kiss,
bro No, And she doesn't understand why Oscar gets band
aids and she doesn't get banned, So now she feels
like she's missing out, So then she's even more upset.
I do band aids.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I'm going to say that's one of the biggest expenses
in this household is buying band aids. But we've got
a band we churned through the band aids. Dude, but
I still have.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
To buy them. But I have to buy them and
then not give them to her. It's even worse. Stop
the band aids. No band aids in the house anymore.
Oscar's bleeding out. I'm sorry to blame. Your sister wears
them like an accessory.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I brush her hair, get her teeth done, and then
she's like, where's band aid I'm like, fuck, I know,
I just put one on her we like, we're going
through a pack a week.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
At the moment, Macy has got like four blisters from
these sandals that she wore. Can't put a band aid
on it? Well, hang on a secon. If you're gone
to the big shops, get her a new pair of shoes.
Were We had to because that's how we found out
that she just all of a sudden one day grown
out of these shoes they were she one day fine,
next day Crocs no, bro get her and cross no,
(30:32):
because she wears crocs and she's a classic foot track.
She trips over everywhere. She's like a bumbling mess. You
put crocs on my daughter and you literally at my
back of you saw from picking her up off the ground.
When's her birthday? Just put this way I can startle
Macy and she falls over. Think about that and then
add crocs into that. Put crocs in there and she's
(30:52):
got something.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Hey, you gave me advice and I took it. I'm
giving you advice. All I'm saying, hear me out. Don't
interrupt me, don't interrupt me. Don't put your finger down. Okay,
I'm saying two things. Okay, band aids oscar is now
allergic as well. They're out of the house. Okay, you're
gonna lie to him.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
It's terrible, okay. And then secondly, crocs for Macy. Okay,
let me just flip that on here for a second. Please.
Oscar falls over, bleeding everywhere, got no band aids? One two,
I put crocs on Macy. She falls over, she bleeds everywhere.
Then pick up of band aids on her anyway. Well,
I'm gonna have to otherwise it cuts, will stoup, blistering.
(31:33):
So she's take it. We're going around in circles. If
Oscar is bleeding out, take him to the hospital. Moving on.
I can't afford it. It's moving on, moving along here quickly,
she's a list of band aids. Be it heasy. If
I think and she breaks out in a rash, it's
(31:53):
a nightmare. And moving right along, ash, we're going into
parenting lies. Dare you move me along? Tell me loud,
tell me what have you got for me? Big? Go
my mom. I don't know where she is, by the way,
lost her in the house again. She was she can't
(32:15):
get that fast.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
She was here before I was had a recording because
I was going to get her to tell her lie,
But then she fucking disappeared. I don't know where she
is La Jinx. Someone's think we should fuck Sorry. So
she told me this lie from when we were younger. Okay,
(32:36):
it was a very clever lie. And I said, firstly
I was offended. I was upset, and then I said, actually, no,
that's I should commend you for this great lie.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
So it took you how long to figure this out? Well?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I only realized when she told me went like today
it was a few days ago, because she she heard
we're talking about parenting lies and she was like, I
got a life for here, your little piece of ship.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I said, what do you mean? When we were younger,
we had a PlayStation one Vintage respect. We loved it.
What was it? Grand Tarismo? Ah? Why do I have
an direction for those of you who don't know. It's
a car racing game. We more than just that Domades. Sorry,
you're right, you're right.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
And what she used to do because we were kind
of obsessed with the PlayStation when we first got it,
this is genius. She told us that it was a rental.
She said that the PlayStation it is not it is
not our PlayStation. She's rented it from video easy.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Ah, that is good. That is top shelf parenting from Elie.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
And so we used to get the PlayStation in school
holidays only sometimes sometimes Mum would be like on the
weekend she'd be like, I'm going to do the shop.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
It's going to I'm going to rent out of PlayStations
in the back of the car. So we would get it, and.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Then on the Sunday on the end of the holiday,
she'd be like, I've got to return the PlayStation back
to the shop because on the rental and we were like, oh,
I have one more week, and she'd be like, no,
I can't, that's got to go back.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
It's booked out. I underestimated your mother. That is good stuff,
very good.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
And so I only now realized that we in fact
owned outright that place, very owned PlayStation.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
And you thought it was So I can picture you
at school being like, oh, I'm wait for school holidays,
Mum's going to rent the PlayStation and all your friends
that own the PlayStation, like I didn't want to say it.
I have one here from Molina which Melina, Congratulations, you're
a winner of a stuffed Maddie j or ashsh The
(34:44):
choice is yours. Don't rush into it. That's not whatever
you say. We're going to send you a bit of
an ash. You will get a message from producer Jess. Yes, congratulations. Yes,
I'm going to read it. You line. Now, that's what
we're here for. Melina says. I tell my kids that
the ice cream truck is the ambulance, so they freak
out every time. I thought she was going to say that,
(35:09):
like with the sound on, there are our ice cream.
That was just a classic.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
That's where I thought it was going, the old classic
when the sirens are on for the ice cream truck.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
No, no ice cream left, Just when you think you're
going down a path and she throws a right turn in.
Do you know what I feel sorry for? Quite often
the people who are the victims here, the innocent victims
of these lies, the driver, emergency services. Oh sorry, I
think about the ice cream truck. Drive miss I've got
(35:40):
bap all the parenting lines. You know, it's like police
and ambulance and I guess fire men. They're the ones
you never get a bad wrap in these painting lines. Yeah,
it's like we're not allowed to give a bad rap
because they're here to protect and serve Matthew. Same with
the ice cream driver. He's here to maybe not protect,
try and make a living, but to serve and make
(36:00):
a living.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Hey, we got we've got a question here. We are
running out of time, Ash.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Okay, great, but I'm going to squeeze in it one
quick question, if I may, I put it out there.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I've asked the Facebook group. Haven't had any answers back,
Jesse yet. We will continue on if people come back
with answers, we'll talk about it next week. But I
want to know from you. Have you or any parents
you know, regretted the name of their child. Yeah, my parents.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Ash is an Aordy name. No, no, no, okay, let
me let me take you down there on a journey please.
It was thankfully it was before I was born. But
they had settled on the name. Okay, they said it
on the name, believe it or not, Matthew. For me,
my name was set to be Matthew. That was they
had already told family friends, boy, we're gonna name me Matthew.
(36:44):
And one one day they were down the beach and
there was heaps of kids, heaps of families and mum
reckons that she spotted like four or five different parents
calling out to their child Matthew, and she decided she
regretted the telling everyone that that was going to be
my name, that she had decided she had changed it
(37:07):
to now Ashton. Dang, that's a true story. Call her
up right now. I believe it, Jane. I have time
for that next week. But yeah, so they regretted. There's
nothing wrong with your name. First of all, thank you.
Just everyone has it. And but my middle name is
now Matthew what Ashton William Matthew Wicks. I didn't know
(37:30):
you had had two middle names. Do you know anything
about me? I'most double agent. I feel like I'm sitting
across next to a stranger now, you know now, But yeah,
it was going to be Yeah, but I don't know
of anyone that's after the birth. I'm sure. I'm sure
it's happened. If you do have a story about it,
if someone out there has a story where it's like,
I name my kid Bob, and then I realized what
(37:53):
a big mistake like. Imagine accidentally naming your kid after
like a serial killer you didn't know, Like, there's an
episode of Seinfeld with a kid name was Joel Rifkin
and he was like one of the greatest murderers in
serial murders in the city's history. Have there been many Ivans? Oh,
Ivan Cleary, it's him. I did some digging online ash
(38:18):
and I've got it. Got some information here which is interesting, Okay,
very very random. Here is a list of declined baby
names from New Zealand twenty eighteen. Why that year and
in New Zealand? I do know it was published? And
did it just come up the first Google.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
And it just come up that's the first one. Okay, okay,
laid on it must be good. I've also got like
a count number here. But how many times it was rejected?
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Duke, emperor but then empress spelt normally, then Empress spelled
E M P R A H, Emperor and pro. I
thought you were going to say, they changed the E
to A three Roman numerals, just like the dash dash
rejected twice, like just the dashed like the second. What
(39:07):
are you confused with the tally or the name dash?
I guess what was rejected six times? King? It's oh yeah,
it's common wealth, Commonwealth. I think I think you name
me a kid. King It's it's arrogant. That's the highest
(39:29):
order Messiah. Messiah rejected twice, Prince rejected four times. I
used to work with a guy named Jesus. Jesus but
it's Jesus. Yeah. I love it when there's there's been
like multiple attempts.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
So there's there's Prince, this Prince writer, there's Prince with
his zed and then Prince p r y n Ce.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
They really wanted the name, trying not to get a
shadow band. But everyone wants the royal names. There's Royal, Royal, Royalty,
Chicken Royal, have you mean my chicken Royale Wicks? Why
would Saint Saint was rejected a lot. You can't call
the kids saint because it'll it'll backflip on you. There'll
be a.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Turn they will be they will be his name here
Justice j A h Justice, Hey Justice. But if you
know anyone, yes, who's had a name that has been
regretted after it was given, maybe does anyone had to change?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Surely it's out there.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
My mum knew someone called Richard Orcock. Richard is now
they would abbreviate it to dick, cock or cock. They
didn't change it, they kept it.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I used to work with a guy. No, I didn't
work with him. He was one of the contractors on
the team, and I thought it did work with it.
I guess you can continue, okay. And I thought it
was a type that type, Paul. I thought it was
a type. Come on, I thought it was a typo.
There he is because his name was Michael Michaels, and
(40:57):
I thought that's wrong. And then I saw a copy
of his license and his name was Michael Michaels. What
is wrong with people? Not? What is wrong with Michael Michaels.
Have some fucking creativity? How did that? How do you
get there, Michael Michaels. But he was a fully grown man,
still rocking it, Michael Michaels. I mean credit to him. Yeah,
if you've got anything, please hit us up because I
(41:19):
think it's very interesting. I think what's very interesting is
that the rejected names and the Commonwealth because Duke, my
landlord's named kids. Landlord's kids name is Duke. If that's
legal or it's just rejected, well there is New Zealand.
Duke was rejected in New Zealand, sure the government or
by just people being like by the government, wow, official official, Okay, Well,
(41:42):
I don't know how he must be one of the
only dukes in Australia. Let's put a pin in their
because we're out of time, and let's bring it. Let's
bring it to lie. We'll talk about this next week.
Don't you worry? Great, don't you worry?
Speaker 2 (41:54):
More bust trips, more kids' names, bringing you all the
good stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
If you've had a bad experience with one of these names,
like a kid, You've met a kid named King and
he was just an absolute piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
If you've had a trip on a bus and when
you want to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
We're here. If you've got a child that's falling over
on a bus, we want to hear about it. You
want to hear about it, send us, Send us it in,
send it to us. We need to go. If you've
enjoyed this episode. If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave
us a review, a couple of words, five stars. Or
you can join Send it to a friend, Send it
to your best friend, best work friend, like.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Even if you have no best friends, send it to
anyone who's got to. Just send it to someone in
the body of an email in the signature of you,
then I.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Block you, but do it. Otherwise, you can join us
were matte on do that again.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
On Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at two Doting Dads or
something similar. We also ash We talked about the T shirts.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yes, I didn't wear mone today because they're on washed.
That's okay. It is not currently live, but by the
time this episode goes out, I don't want to jinx it,
it will be live. Two Doning Dads when is it
dot com? Two Doning Dads dot com? There is no
why I wasn't sure it was dot a U S.
I should have trusted you should. Sorry, I'm sorry about that.
(43:15):
I used to I could have been a Matthew and
there's no trust. I have Matthew from middle there's no
trus there's no trust. Okay, just quickly go on before
we go. This episode comes out of my mum's birthday.
So happy birthday, mum. She doesn't listen, so she won't
hear this, so that was so that was a waste
of way. Thank you, mum. How old is she turning
sixty three? She's young? Wow, we can get her a
(43:39):
T shirt because the T shirts are now available to purchase.
There's a shop section.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
We will say we only have men's sizes, but there
are unisex T shirt. There's photos of your beautiful wife.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
And you're beautiful. Thank you very much. Stop eating one
run back at you. They are wearing your refuge. You
can you can see what sciences they're wearing. It's an
over sized T shirt. Yeah, aprins in a medium. We
have a purple white, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful shirt. Get into
it and soft toys and soft toys are able to
purchase through this. We have four.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
We'll go to two Doting Dads dot com to check
it out and we'll chat to.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
You guys soon. Fine.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
Ah, Matt, before we do get started. So I just
wanted to thank you some travel advice. What did I
tell you? It was last year on the way to Vegas.
I had a conundrum, I had a thought, and then
you put my mind at ease and I forgot about
it until I got back on the plane this year.
What did I do? Well? Why don't you start the episode?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Okay, welcome back to Two Doing Dads. I am Maddie
Jays and this is a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
And if you come for advice.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Sorry oops, wrong podcast, not us, see ya.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
No, actually stay advice as if you come for advice,
not us. Anyway, what was the advice advice we do have? Yeah?
Last year we went to Vegas together and I quite
I don't like flying because I'm uncomfortable in a particular way,
so back or just anxiety?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
What's thorting my farts in wit if you're on a
plane far away?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Thank you? I took that advice this time traveled so
comfortably where they smelly? Oh yeah, I was like, I
think one of them woke me up. I got on
the plane next to these two lovely Americans, and I
was like, get ready, and I just let I was
(01:39):
honestly like forty our flight, A breeze, A breeze out
of my buttole.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Apparently, apparently, I don't know if there's any science behind this,
but you know when you have a bottle of water
and you put the lid on when you're on the
tarmac and you're in the air, Yeah, and the bottles
are like compressed.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, yeah, you got to do that.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Apparently that's what because I wee a lot when I'm
in the air.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
On a plane. Opposit, I don't barely we like, I did.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
One Wii on a fourteen hour flight, and you're not
doing my scientific fact here any favors.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Well, it could be different from you do you fart
more on a plane? Oh yeah, there you go. I
think the human body knows when when you're not places
you're not meant to farts. It's the cabin pressure. But
like if I'm just a home and I'm in bed
and I'm like, okay, I got a Wii, and I
was like, it's probably you know, I could do a
fart here and keep people happy. I don't need a fart.
But then I get back into bed. It's like I
(02:33):
got a fart.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
That is the number one complaint that I get from Laura.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I hop in a bed and she goes, why do
you have to fight when you get into bed? I go,
I can't help it. This is where I needed to fart.
I can't. I can't help you know, when I need
to fight, I need to fart. If that happens and
I'm just in bed and I pulled the blankets up,
I apologize, it was like you were just in the
bathroom anyway. I just just very Yeah. I wanted to
(03:01):
just thank you for that. You're well. You made the
trip much more enjoyable. I was at one point I
was like laying down because I had two best seats
and there was people around me, and I just went
It is awkward when it really does smell. The best
time to do it is during meal time because the
meal is usually quite pungent. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I have a bad poker face, and it is hard
when you have to try and hide when you farted
and people are like, you can see someone else going
is that smells a bit, and you have to try
and pretend like you know, yeah, you're confused as well.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Going is that. I think everyone's like probably sitting there
being like say anything anything. It is such a relief.
It is such a relief.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Hey, did you notice anything at the front of my
house yesterday? By the way, when you were you're visiting,
did you notice anything?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I know you got a haircut, small, small haircut. I
did something stupid. You didn't cut the dick plan off.
No dick plans still there. I actually have that video
still it's grown. Yeah, I have a grower.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I have a yucker and it's grown a root that
comes out the size of a penis.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
It looks like an uncircumcised peanist. Like it is uncanny.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Remind me after this episode, I did a video where
I'm edging. I think Laura goes edge the gardens and
I'm like, sure, very good, and then I'm there jerking off.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
The oh that's good. Why have you not posted that?
I don't know. I forgot. I forgot to say, remind me.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I don't know if it's the same over in the
Northern Beaches for anyone outside of New South Wales, we
or in Bondo, we get too allocated. Cancel cleanup pickups
per calendar year.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
You've got to book them in. Though you got to
book them in, you get too free. I love that
when there's one person actually books one in and then
everyone in the same streets just like must be a
counsel cleaner and throw stuff out the front of their
house and it gets picked up. That's a loophole. That's
a council loophole. It didn't happen, unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
But you know, anyone who's never had a council cleanup
pick up collection, whether the fuck it's called, the way
it works, the way it works, it is very complicated.
How have they not had one of people just don't
have junks like us.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I feel like I was.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I was very late to the council cleanup bandwagon.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I love walking past the pile of council cleanup and
pretending not to look, and then fighting the urge.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Looks it was raining when I put out the stuff,
so people didn't. I love watching people come and.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Scale that, yeah we should do that, and just be like, get.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
But you got to put it out the night before,
gets picked up in the morning. I forgot that it
was out there. So when I got the kids in
the car for daycare and school drop off, they were.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Like what's this? And I was like, fuck, all this
stuff in the front, all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I had this blackboard with magnets that that was out there.
Their little camer little sofas that have a fold out.
They get moldy as fuck, those things so moldy.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
They were out there. Lola's potty was out there as well,
and she was like what do you throw this out for?
There were a bunch of hoarders, my kids. I was like,
it was a nightmare. Ash. I had to had to
peel them off. You know we talk about people scavenging, Yeah,
it was like my kids. Yeah, they were like going
through and throwing cushions everywhere, being like why are you
throwing this bachelor out for? We can keep that? And
(06:40):
I was like, far out. They don't understand the concept
of like throwing things out unless it's like, you know,
food scraps or whatever. Because I remember when we did
we sort of piled a bunch of old toys up
not to throw them out. We're going to give them
to Goodwill because that was still fine, and we stupidly
put them in a container and then one day we
(07:02):
came home and the clear container was like sitting there
ready to be taken and Oscar was like, what's that.
He's like, that's my my Americ control cars in there
like you hasn't used in like two years. And it
was like I turned my back one second and he's
in there and he's got it all out, and it's
like for Fox, it's a nightmare. Council cleaner, but picked up,
(07:22):
picked up in the afternoon, beautiful, Yeah, lovely. I feel
I feel like the weight has been just lifted off
my shoulders. I had a rug that bust to shot
on like the worst diarrhea Nane. I gave him some
brown rice no good for dogs.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
So that rug that used to be there under the
coffee table that's been down the side of the house
just covered in dog shit for like four months.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Imatching the stench on that thing.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Carrying that down the side of the house, moldy from
the rain, remnants of dog diarrhea. Oh yeah, I'm just
I'm a new man since having that council cleanup.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's better than therapy, is April loves and my going
in treat yourself. My father in law does this thing
where he drives around the streets looking for piles to
throw stuff out him. So that stuff. People have already
ordered one and he's got ship in the back of
his car. He's like, that's good behaviors back at night.
(08:18):
But I couldn't do that the amount of anxiety I
have and I put in a garbage bin into someone
else's like that that.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Feels like you're breaking the law, feels like but he's
drubbing around. Yeah, the car full of that's bold.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
That's a friend of mine owns a company called my Bins,
which is like they move the bin from this sponsor.
Shout out to my Bins. They're good guys. They move
the bins from your house to the street and back.
That's that's part of the service, the service, the offering,
whatever you want to call it. And he was like, dude,
people are so territorial on their bins. Like he's like,
(08:55):
we have some people that will be like make sure
when you do put the bins out that no one
puts any stuff in there. And they're like it's half full.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
And then I'm not security, bro, I'm here to take
the bens out.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And it's like but also to get like, have you
ever tried to get a replacement bin or an extra bin? No,
your rates go through the roof. You're trying to get
another bin. Oh yeah, yeah. They charge you per bin obviously.
And if you get a bigger bin, get a bigger bin.
That's more money. Yeah, because people have a little miniature bin.
Have you seen the size of my bin? And I've
got two kids, one still in nappies overnight. It's a nightmare. Yeah,
(09:28):
you guys are the neighbors. I'm feeling the neighbor's bin.
As soon as the sun goes down, I'm out there
pooty on balaclava. What you and April's dad we both
got gloves on so no fingerprints can be left behind.
And I'm up the street the other day. Actually I
got caught. That reminded me. I got caught. I was
the guy across the street. There's there're two old couples
(09:50):
at a huge house. Yeah, two old couples, one old couple,
two old people, and that it's always half full, like
and I'm like, it's like next up. She's listening to
have to talk. She's she's pretty old, bro. I think
she's gonna hear it. She's like, and I was like,
all right, coach is clear. Yeah, across the road, you know,
(10:13):
pink panther music, opened it up, went to put it
in and they drove in the driveway. Oh this is
not my bin right, thankfully they're old. I had like
I was just like, you know, I'm not young, but
like they were just like too afraid. I was like, yeah,
(10:34):
good thing you got tats on. Yeahs on, good thing
you have tats. I got my tats on Today weekend,
matt weekend with kids, you know, it's like you're trying
to find ship to do, trying to keep me entertained,
and sometimes you I find and I don't know if
you're the same. You just end up going to different
parks and it's fucking like parks are boring. There's some
(10:55):
parks its like, got some things going on. But April
was very much like, it's the Flying Fox Park. No,
obviously one of them.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
If anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about, listen to
last week's episode where Ash had to go about Flying
Fox parks.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yes, continued not a fan. Over the weekend Saturday, April said,
look tomorrow Sunday Family Day or do something different. I
was like, sweet, no worries, and she was like, why
are you doing the like the finger I felt like
it was necessary family day, because every day's family. I
have a family. Every day I have a family. So
(11:30):
what you're saying to me is the first six days
of the week I have no family. Is how this works?
Obviously not? Did you say that? No, I want to
sleep indoors and I and she was like, she said
that to me just before I was leaving to go
to the football which first game of the year. I'm
gonna I'm going to sink some tins. Football was on Saturday, Saturday.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Night, right, So she was just like, Hey, don't forget
about us.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Family Day tomorrow. I just come back from Vegas. I
get it. She was like, do whatever you like tonight,
just get up in the morning. And I'm like, I
know what that means. Noted, that means get up in
the morning. And you're very very I'm very observant taking information.
(12:17):
And I woke up the next day bit Dusty and
April said it's family Day. I said, what are we
doing today then? And she said, We're going to take
a bus to the Big Shops, which is you know,
like a decent bus trip to a bigger shopping center,
which just at ring them all. So we've got like
a small one in worriing, like worry would square where
did you take me that time? That's just where I
(12:38):
would square. I think that's a small shop, small shops,
great shops, great shops. Perfect for me, but not big
enough for April, not big enough for family day. But
she was like, it's an adventure and it's like Macy
had never been on a bus. Oscar has but as
you know, on the Northern Beaches, we've got the double
decker bus. Yeah you guys, you guys must be thank
(12:58):
you trade my chamis needy and I was like, oh okay,
it was a bit dusty. I was like, well, let's
go down. We drove down to the bus stop. We
went sat waiting for the bus to come and it's
a big, two story bus and the kids are super
excited to get on. Oscar's already been on before, sitting
up the top. We didn't get to sit at the
front at the top, but Macy seems has taken Yeah,
(13:20):
there's a few spots like that's annoying way through, which
is still good, but it's Macey was petrified like she
was on a roller coaster. She was like grabbing hold
of April, like away from the window and she was
trying to get she was trying to get out. The
stairs are really steep. The bus took off and she
was like, and then they must be so used to
(13:41):
being like locked down in a baby seat. Yeah, now
all of a sudden they're on the road unhinged. So
she was petrified all the way there, and Oscar the
whole time was like, I'm board, on board, and then
we get off the bus and I was like, that
was amazing. And I was like, I don't know, I
don't know. I don't think they just say that to
fill the gap when there's nothing to say. They're just like,
(14:01):
I'm bored. And she was like me, he has to
fill the air with words at all times, Like he's
just like continuous. I wonder where he gets from. Anyway,
we did the shopping. Yep, what are you buying? On
family Day? April needed some tights before and the kids
wanted to look at toys at a different shop. Okay,
what are the times for just exercise? Exercise? Yeah? Nice?
(14:22):
Anyone wants to give my wafe some tights she needs?
Did April get the tights? No? Ah? What classic get
all the way to the big shops. No tights. I
was like, not a single tight. No. She tried on
some and I just found seats to sit in. That's
pretty much all. She wasn't happy with the tights. Wasn't
happy with it. Okay, okay, a bit painful, but look, honestly,
(14:45):
I don't really have a leg to stand on. I've
sort of just got to go along and carry everything
for the trip. Is April listened to these episodes, Yeah,
I'd love to know what was wrong with the tights.
Camel tooe. That's not even a joke, very particular my wife. Sorry, everybody,
(15:05):
let's get back on track. We're getting back on the bus.
Macey's brave again. She wants to walk on her own
onto the bars, get up up the stairs, up the stairs.
She got on. She's quickly scared again and she's like, oh,
you know, because it's quite rocky. But then shable. She
was distracted by the fact that upstairs there's no bus driver,
(15:27):
because the bus driver's downstairs, but she didn't because she's
so small, she didn't see the bus driver on the
way in. So now she's obsessed thinking that the bus
drives herself, and it started to freak her out, like,
where's the driver? She kept pointing, like where's the driver?
Did you explain to her or you like, I don't
know where it is. I was like, it's on the roof.
She was just like, oh, so we stopped. We'll let
(15:48):
the kids press the button. They love pressing buttons. They're like,
press the button for every stop. And we stopped it
Narrabeene to get off, and Macey they were they pressing
for not their stop, like because thankfully it's sort of
bus that stops at that main only the main stops anyway.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Because the best way to piss off a bus driver
is to press the stop button and no one gets off.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Anyway. We get to Narrabeene and it's Macy's brave again
and wants to walk off the bus and they're quite
steep steps. Can I just say it's I get I
get stressed out when the bus stops. You don't have
a lot of time to get off the bus. This
is what happened. Macy wanted to get off on herself,
took forever fucking grab her stop. Oh god, she latched
(16:37):
onto the railing, missed the stop. I'm en route to
Mona Vail. Did anyone get off the bus. It was April. No,
no one, We're all stuck behind Macy. Would you yell
out say hey, it was too late, we will move.
We're on the go. And we had to go to
the next bus stop. Where did you guys end up?
The next bus stop, which is the next suburb. Get off,
(17:01):
walk across, Walk across the busy main road back to
the other side. Wait another ten minutes for a bus
to come back to take us back the other way.
Is she having naps still? Yeah? Oh god? So where
how are you at nap time? We are way past now.
Did you have any food on you? We had some? Yeah,
they did have like little lunchboxes thing. Thank god? What
(17:23):
about me, Matthew? Sorry? Yeah, I hung over as fu
and I'm like, I'm on a bars the whole time,
Like I had a porto at the shops. Did you
have chips? Oh? Yeah, for God's sake, what do you
do it to yourself? Okay, let me tell you's not
the thing. A meal is not complete without chips. Yeah,
(17:44):
but chips for you are like valiant. I I ate
a large chips for I go to sleep. It's like
sleeping tablet. I've never seen someone getting knocked horizontal quicker
than hash wigs having a couple of chippies. Bro, I'm
like comatized.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Whatever you when we have lunch here and we have
some chippies, I'm worried about you driving home.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Comatosed. Just the potato, the starchy potato does it for me.
Do you know what really gets me? When you're dipping
chips in potato and gravy. Think of that one type
of fried chip dipped in mush chip. The calves are
through the roofs. I'm just like, First of all, I'm like,
you've got You've got to stop doing it to yourself.
I love it. But I was on the bus very
(18:31):
much like, oh man, I can't wait to get off
this bus next minute, I'm fucking missing the stop doing
a complete uti. Did you get home? We got home
and I fell straight asleep like three hours. It's a
big day for me. Family day is a big day
for ad. And then we yeah, spent the rest of
the day at the park. That sounds awful. But the
(18:52):
bus when we got to the shops after the first
bus trip April stupidly leant over to me to go
I wish we drove and I was like, you fucking idiot, Like,
don't you dare tell me that, because I would have
drove us to get home be on the bus. Buses.
Bus is fun, but you know it is more fun
(19:13):
electric bikes. Yes, feel me? And I did see that. Yeah,
I got my electric bike on the weekend. What are
your thoughts on the cool factor of that bike? It's
it's low. I don't want that look for me. I
love it. I love that bike. I want one, honestly.
I like the idea of the kids on the back,
like Osco, I've got him on the front of mine?
(19:35):
Is yours? A fat boy? What's your bonds? A fucking
juicy boy? Is it cool? Fat boy? Is that the brand?
A brand called fat boy? I got a Drodi and
you one on the way, you have a cool one.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I've got two kids, and I didn't like the idea
of trying to put one in the front.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
One of the backs I've got. I've got the one
that I've got like a flat bed. It's a long tray,
but it's got small wheels, way more practice. It's aqua.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
It's aqua color aqua, and I wish it was more
time aqua.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I wish it was black. I wish it was, you
know that's but I guess aqua is quite bright. We
could we can paint it. I'm not going to paint it,
which gets to scrap up a subscription. I'm not gonna
what's a subscription? Yeah, just run me through that, Okay.
So you pay an amount of money per week like
a rental. Yeah, subscription. They're pretty much just does it
(20:27):
rent to own? Subscribe to own? Ah? No, So if
we fuck it o, it's you've got to pay for
the whole thing a little bit. Yeah, But the kids
love it.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Kids absolutely enjoy it, and it's a little bit hairy
at some points on the road. At daycare this morning,
sun was out, beautiful day and my niece goes to
the same daycare as Lola, and so I was like, hey,
let's not go in the car, let's go on the bike.
But little Chassy mcghazzy, my niece, she was a bit
(20:59):
like what fuck is this thing?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
She's like, never been on a bike. Where's zebelt? She's
never been on a bike before. Well, she's been a
training wheels. Yeah, So she was a bit like Macie
where she was like how does this thing work? Lola's
there strapped in.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
She's got a baby seat, and then there's just two
little handle bars. Yeah, I saw that, and so I
put Chazy there. And then there's certain points we go downhill,
we get like forty k's an hour.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
They do zip and I'm like, you guys have fun
back there. I was like slow. She even goes what
happens if I fall out? And I said, just hold on,
You're not going to fall if you hold it on. Yeah,
that's what I said. She was freaking the hell. Lola
was like, she's loving it. She's sitting in the back
there having a cigarette. She's just like faster driver. April
(21:50):
like same thing she gets on every now and then
with me, and she's just like, is this safe? Hold
on she's got Yeah, she's really on the love handles too.
Can I ask you a question? No? Yeah, go, You're
can't ask me anything, like.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I just want to know if I've done the wrong thing. Here,
wait on me, go Okay, have I done the wrong thing?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Or is Laura in the wrong At the moment, I'm
doing all of the daycare drop offs with Lola on
the bike from now from this point on bikes other
than rain weather permitting Lola. I don't know if I
mentioned this.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
She's at a new daycare, really struggling with the drop offs,
really struggling. We're now six seven, eight weeks in tears
most mornings. It's hard. And then this morning, Lola's like,
I'm going to bring this toy. And she had this
big bunny that's giant. It's like, you know, big guy.
(22:45):
You push a button on its belly and it sings
a song and it dances.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Right, you're not allowed that to take care. You're not
allowed to take I want I get you kids kid
you know kids, right, yeah? Kids, kids, two kids. I'm
just so.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Lola's like, I'm bringing this thing and I'm like, you're
not bringing that thing, and she's like, but I'm allowed to.
And I said, well, who said you're allowed to? You
gues Mom told me? And I was like, there's no
way that mom has said yes to this, and so
I'm like, I'm going to fucking get you here, Lola.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I was like, did mom really say that? Let's give
her a call.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
So I call Laura on speaker next to Lola who's
holding the bunny.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
And I was like, fucking you're going to learn. You're
going to get called out here, Lola lie to me
and say, tell me that your mother has allowed this.
Please try they try and play you against each other.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
She was trying to play me, and I was like, no,
on my watch, pow. I love where this is going
so cool Laura, And I said, did you say to Lola?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Look at Laura. Did you say to Lola? You did
she could bring the bunny rabbit, the one that it
sings and it dances. And then Laura goes, yeah, okay, okay,
they're in cahoots those two. You're never gonna Lola in particular,
(24:02):
You're never gonna They've already had this chat.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Oh yeah last night. Yeah, I don't know where I was.
They've they've they've gone.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
We'll loop him in when the time comes, because if
we loop him in now, it'll be a problem from
now until we leave. But if I loop him in
when we leave, it's only a problem for that long.
So I said to Laura, what do you mean you
said yes to the toy? And she goes, well, we
had a conversation that if there was anything that would
(24:31):
help Lola with a drop off process, make it a
bit easier for her, we would allow it and I say, yeah,
but you know the rules at daycare, no toys that
make any noise. You're allowed like a.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Little soft toy that they can have as a comforter.
And she goes, I didn't know that. I may have
said something, may have said something which was fighting words.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm going to just quickly say it's it's on for Laura.
That's a great I think she's what she's doing there
is she's trying to make your life easier for drop off.
So I'm going to just quickly jump on her side
and say because you did mention anything that makes it
easier for her, I'm then.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Going to feel the wrath from daycare when I come
in there.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Stand up to the man. I can't do rules as rules.
You know that break a few rules, can't. I'm the
new guy. I'm playing by the rules. No be a rogue,
go rogue.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Why I said to Laura when she was like, well,
I didn't know that, And I said, yeah you would
if you went to any of the orientation days.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Where did you sleep last night? Well that was this morning?
Where you sleeping at night? How did that go down? Yeah? Really?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Yeah good? I thought I thought that might be the case,
she would have taken that on the chin. Laura, of
all people, would have really taken that on the chin.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
And so then so then I've got a situation where
I've now got a very angry wife.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
I've also got Lola who's in tears. And I'm not
stepping down for no one. I'm going to say that
you so you needed to put your pride aside at
that moment. So I hung up, and then, oh, oh
my god, help yourself. I'm on Laura's side. I think, Laura,
(26:18):
my arm's trying to make it easier for Lola and
you and you fighting it is causing more of a problem.
But surely every parent, everyone who's had any kind of
experience with daycare knows that you're not allowed a toy
other than like a little soft toy, jump on board
and sneak it in.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
But then, but then I'm setting Lola up to fail.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
She's going to get it taken away from her. She's
going to hate daycare even more. You're making about a point,
but I'm more what's easier for me, you know what
I mean? Like, my kids do the same thing. I
think all kids do the same thing. Where they go
I want to take this because they want to show
their friends. I now just say, if we're in the car,
I say take it, but you're to leave it in
the car. You tried that one? No, No, it works
(27:07):
if they strap it into their own seat. It's fun
little game. Move on. But I'm with Laura to say,
whatever is it? Because she's struggling. She wasn't struggling. I'm
on a different side. But because she's struggling, and we
had this conversation when you're in the jungle that Lola
was really upset. And now we're doubt how many more
weeks down the track and it's still happening. It's months.
Break some rules for your kids, bro. Consider in silence,
(27:34):
did Laura message you before we recorded? No? Why? I
just don't know. It just seems like you're very much
on her team. I would it would I would suffer
more if I was to jump onto your team. But
I think you got to bend some rules every now
and then. I get that they might take it off her,
but I don't think they're going to hastily take it
off her, are they? And if they did, then you
(27:56):
know this is the wrong day, the wrong daycare game.
I'll digest this conversation. I know you're not happy with me.
I can see it that or you're hungry. I can't
work out which one of it is. But I can't
sit here and take your side all the time. Let's
move this along. Okay, So where do we end up?
(28:17):
You haven't spoken to what synth of you? Now? I
got to call it after this and what what's going
to happen? What's gonna happen on the phone. Are you're
going to I know you you're not apologize. I'm going
to back down. I don't apologize. You are not. Have
I gotten through? I don't know. I've got a big
quick question for you. Do your kids have any I've
got a real big question for you. You're ready for this,
(28:39):
big boy? Go on? What do you got? It's better
be good. I wanted to ask if your kids have
any allergies, because you don't what going to school now
and there's like they're not allergy that everyone fucking talks about.
What have you got for me? I only have one
allergy and it's two penicillin, A specific type of penicillin.
But why I asked you? Because obviously sometimes it gets
(29:02):
passed down to kids and kids have. Macy's allergic to
something which is devastating. Chocolate band aids what she's allergic
to the other day, that's not devastating. That's a great result. No,
it's not. Because now anytime she hurts herself and she
wants a band aid, I can't give a one because
(29:24):
she breaks out in a rash. You ever a kiss,
bro No, And she doesn't understand why Oscar gets band
aids and she doesn't get banned, So now she feels
like she's missing out, So then she's even more upset.
I do band aids.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I'm going to say that's one of the biggest expenses
in this household is buying band aids. But we've got
a band we churned through the band aids. Dude, but
I still have.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
To buy them. But I have to buy them and
then not give them to her. It's even worse. Stop
the band aids. No band aids in the house anymore.
Oscar's bleeding out. I'm sorry to blame. Your sister wears
them like an accessory.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I brush her hair, get her teeth done, and then
she's like, where's band aid I'm like, fuck, I know,
I just put one on her we like, we're going
through a pack a week.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
At the moment, Macy has got like four blisters from
these sandals that she wore. Can't put a band aid
on it? Well, hang on a secon. If you're gone
to the big shops, get her a new pair of shoes.
Were We had to because that's how we found out
that she just all of a sudden one day grown
out of these shoes they were she one day fine,
next day Crocs no, bro get her and cross no,
(30:32):
because she wears crocs and she's a classic foot track.
She trips over everywhere. She's like a bumbling mess. You
put crocs on my daughter and you literally at my
back of you saw from picking her up off the ground.
When's her birthday? Just put this way I can startle
Macy and she falls over. Think about that and then
add crocs into that. Put crocs in there and she's
(30:52):
got something.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Hey, you gave me advice and I took it. I'm
giving you advice. All I'm saying, hear me out. Don't
interrupt me, don't interrupt me. Don't put your finger down. Okay,
I'm saying two things. Okay, band aids oscar is now
allergic as well. They're out of the house. Okay, you're
gonna lie to him.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
It's terrible, okay. And then secondly, crocs for Macy. Okay,
let me just flip that on here for a second. Please.
Oscar falls over, bleeding everywhere, got no band aids? One two,
I put crocs on Macy. She falls over, she bleeds everywhere.
Then pick up of band aids on her anyway. Well,
I'm gonna have to otherwise it cuts, will stoup, blistering.
(31:33):
So she's take it. We're going around in circles. If
Oscar is bleeding out, take him to the hospital. Moving on.
I can't afford it. It's moving on, moving along here quickly,
she's a list of band aids. Be it heasy. If
I think and she breaks out in a rash, it's
(31:53):
a nightmare. And moving right along, ash, we're going into
parenting lies. Dare you move me along? Tell me loud,
tell me what have you got for me? Big? Go
my mom. I don't know where she is, by the way,
lost her in the house again. She was she can't
(32:15):
get that fast.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
She was here before I was had a recording because
I was going to get her to tell her lie,
But then she fucking disappeared. I don't know where she
is La Jinx. Someone's think we should fuck Sorry. So
she told me this lie from when we were younger. Okay,
(32:36):
it was a very clever lie. And I said, firstly
I was offended. I was upset, and then I said, actually, no,
that's I should commend you for this great lie.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
So it took you how long to figure this out? Well?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I only realized when she told me went like today
it was a few days ago, because she she heard
we're talking about parenting lies and she was like, I
got a life for here, your little piece of ship.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I said, what do you mean? When we were younger,
we had a PlayStation one Vintage respect. We loved it.
What was it? Grand Tarismo? Ah? Why do I have
an direction for those of you who don't know. It's
a car racing game. We more than just that Domades. Sorry,
you're right, you're right.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
And what she used to do because we were kind
of obsessed with the PlayStation when we first got it,
this is genius. She told us that it was a rental.
She said that the PlayStation it is not it is
not our PlayStation. She's rented it from video easy.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Ah, that is good. That is top shelf parenting from Elie.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
And so we used to get the PlayStation in school
holidays only sometimes sometimes Mum would be like on the
weekend she'd be like, I'm going to do the shop.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
It's going to I'm going to rent out of PlayStations
in the back of the car. So we would get it, and.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Then on the Sunday on the end of the holiday,
she'd be like, I've got to return the PlayStation back
to the shop because on the rental and we were like, oh,
I have one more week, and she'd be like, no,
I can't, that's got to go back.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
It's booked out. I underestimated your mother. That is good stuff,
very good.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
And so I only now realized that we in fact
owned outright that place, very owned PlayStation.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
And you thought it was So I can picture you
at school being like, oh, I'm wait for school holidays,
Mum's going to rent the PlayStation and all your friends
that own the PlayStation, like I didn't want to say it.
I have one here from Molina which Melina, Congratulations, you're
a winner of a stuffed Maddie j or ashsh The
(34:44):
choice is yours. Don't rush into it. That's not whatever
you say. We're going to send you a bit of
an ash. You will get a message from producer Jess. Yes, congratulations. Yes,
I'm going to read it. You line. Now, that's what
we're here for. Melina says. I tell my kids that
the ice cream truck is the ambulance, so they freak
out every time. I thought she was going to say that,
(35:09):
like with the sound on, there are our ice cream.
That was just a classic.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
That's where I thought it was going, the old classic
when the sirens are on for the ice cream truck.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
No, no ice cream left, Just when you think you're
going down a path and she throws a right turn in.
Do you know what I feel sorry for? Quite often
the people who are the victims here, the innocent victims
of these lies, the driver, emergency services. Oh sorry, I
think about the ice cream truck. Drive miss I've got
(35:40):
bap all the parenting lines. You know, it's like police
and ambulance and I guess fire men. They're the ones
you never get a bad wrap in these painting lines. Yeah,
it's like we're not allowed to give a bad rap
because they're here to protect and serve Matthew. Same with
the ice cream driver. He's here to maybe not protect,
try and make a living, but to serve and make
(36:00):
a living.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Hey, we got we've got a question here. We are
running out of time, Ash.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Okay, great, but I'm going to squeeze in it one
quick question, if I may, I put it out there.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I've asked the Facebook group. Haven't had any answers back,
Jesse yet. We will continue on if people come back
with answers, we'll talk about it next week. But I
want to know from you. Have you or any parents
you know, regretted the name of their child. Yeah, my parents.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Ash is an Aordy name. No, no, no, okay, let
me let me take you down there on a journey please.
It was thankfully it was before I was born. But
they had settled on the name. Okay, they said it
on the name, believe it or not, Matthew. For me,
my name was set to be Matthew. That was they
had already told family friends, boy, we're gonna name me Matthew.
(36:44):
And one one day they were down the beach and
there was heaps of kids, heaps of families and mum
reckons that she spotted like four or five different parents
calling out to their child Matthew, and she decided she
regretted the telling everyone that that was going to be
my name, that she had decided she had changed it
(37:07):
to now Ashton. Dang, that's a true story. Call her
up right now. I believe it, Jane. I have time
for that next week. But yeah, so they regretted. There's
nothing wrong with your name. First of all, thank you.
Just everyone has it. And but my middle name is
now Matthew what Ashton William Matthew Wicks. I didn't know
(37:30):
you had had two middle names. Do you know anything
about me? I'most double agent. I feel like I'm sitting
across next to a stranger now, you know now, But yeah,
it was going to be Yeah, but I don't know
of anyone that's after the birth. I'm sure. I'm sure
it's happened. If you do have a story about it,
if someone out there has a story where it's like,
I name my kid Bob, and then I realized what
(37:53):
a big mistake like. Imagine accidentally naming your kid after
like a serial killer you didn't know, Like, there's an
episode of Seinfeld with a kid name was Joel Rifkin
and he was like one of the greatest murderers in
serial murders in the city's history. Have there been many Ivans? Oh,
Ivan Cleary, it's him. I did some digging online ash
(38:18):
and I've got it. Got some information here which is interesting, Okay,
very very random. Here is a list of declined baby
names from New Zealand twenty eighteen. Why that year and
in New Zealand? I do know it was published? And
did it just come up the first Google.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
And it just come up that's the first one. Okay, okay,
laid on it must be good. I've also got like
a count number here. But how many times it was rejected?
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Duke, emperor but then empress spelt normally, then Empress spelled
E M P R A H, Emperor and pro. I
thought you were going to say, they changed the E
to A three Roman numerals, just like the dash dash
rejected twice, like just the dashed like the second. What
(39:07):
are you confused with the tally or the name dash?
I guess what was rejected six times? King? It's oh yeah,
it's common wealth, Commonwealth. I think I think you name
me a kid. King It's it's arrogant. That's the highest
(39:29):
order Messiah. Messiah rejected twice, Prince rejected four times. I
used to work with a guy named Jesus. Jesus but
it's Jesus. Yeah. I love it when there's there's been
like multiple attempts.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
So there's there's Prince, this Prince writer, there's Prince with
his zed and then Prince p r y n Ce.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
They really wanted the name, trying not to get a
shadow band. But everyone wants the royal names. There's Royal, Royal, Royalty,
Chicken Royal, have you mean my chicken Royale Wicks? Why
would Saint Saint was rejected a lot. You can't call
the kids saint because it'll it'll backflip on you. There'll
be a.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Turn they will be they will be his name here
Justice j A h Justice, Hey Justice. But if you
know anyone, yes, who's had a name that has been
regretted after it was given, maybe does anyone had to change?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Surely it's out there.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
My mum knew someone called Richard Orcock. Richard is now
they would abbreviate it to dick, cock or cock. They
didn't change it, they kept it.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I used to work with a guy. No, I didn't
work with him. He was one of the contractors on
the team, and I thought it did work with it.
I guess you can continue, okay. And I thought it
was a type that type, Paul. I thought it was
a type. Come on, I thought it was a typo.
There he is because his name was Michael Michaels, and
(40:57):
I thought that's wrong. And then I saw a copy
of his license and his name was Michael Michaels. What
is wrong with people? Not? What is wrong with Michael Michaels.
Have some fucking creativity? How did that? How do you
get there, Michael Michaels. But he was a fully grown man,
still rocking it, Michael Michaels. I mean credit to him. Yeah,
if you've got anything, please hit us up because I
(41:19):
think it's very interesting. I think what's very interesting is
that the rejected names and the Commonwealth because Duke, my
landlord's named kids. Landlord's kids name is Duke. If that's
legal or it's just rejected, well there is New Zealand.
Duke was rejected in New Zealand, sure the government or
by just people being like by the government, wow, official official, Okay, Well,
(41:42):
I don't know how he must be one of the
only dukes in Australia. Let's put a pin in their
because we're out of time, and let's bring it. Let's
bring it to lie. We'll talk about this next week.
Don't you worry? Great, don't you worry?
Speaker 2 (41:54):
More bust trips, more kids' names, bringing you all the
good stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
If you've had a bad experience with one of these names,
like a kid, You've met a kid named King and
he was just an absolute piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
If you've had a trip on a bus and when
you want to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
We're here. If you've got a child that's falling over
on a bus, we want to hear about it. You
want to hear about it, send us, Send us it in,
send it to us. We need to go. If you've
enjoyed this episode. If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave
us a review, a couple of words, five stars. Or
you can join Send it to a friend, Send it
to your best friend, best work friend, like.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Even if you have no best friends, send it to
anyone who's got to. Just send it to someone in
the body of an email in the signature of you,
then I.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Block you, but do it. Otherwise, you can join us
were matte on do that again.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
On Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at two Doting Dads or
something similar. We also ash We talked about the T shirts.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yes, I didn't wear mone today because they're on washed.
That's okay. It is not currently live, but by the
time this episode goes out, I don't want to jinx it,
it will be live. Two Doning Dads when is it
dot com? Two Doning Dads dot com? There is no
why I wasn't sure it was dot a U S.
I should have trusted you should. Sorry, I'm sorry about that.
(43:15):
I used to I could have been a Matthew and
there's no trust. I have Matthew from middle there's no
trus there's no trust. Okay, just quickly go on before
we go. This episode comes out of my mum's birthday.
So happy birthday, mum. She doesn't listen, so she won't
hear this, so that was so that was a waste
of way. Thank you, mum. How old is she turning
sixty three? She's young? Wow, we can get her a
(43:39):
T shirt because the T shirts are now available to purchase.
There's a shop section.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
We will say we only have men's sizes, but there
are unisex T shirt. There's photos of your beautiful wife.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
And you're beautiful. Thank you very much. Stop eating one
run back at you. They are wearing your refuge. You
can you can see what sciences they're wearing. It's an
over sized T shirt. Yeah, aprins in a medium. We
have a purple white, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful shirt. Get into
it and soft toys and soft toys are able to
purchase through this. We have four.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
We'll go to two Doting Dads dot com to check
it out and we'll chat to.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
You guys soon. Fine.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
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