April 8, 2025 • 44 mins
Today marks day one of medicated Ash! Have you noticed a difference in his "spark"? Nah, neither do we!
Matt, on the other hand, feels frosty after receiving very mixed reviews online when he and Laura reveal their bathroom reno.
Ash has another childhood flashback after visiting a gallery on the weekend. You'll understand why the flashback memory will be forever seared in his memory.
Plus, did you catch the viral clip of singer Chappel Roan and her comments about her friends who are parents? Matt and Ash share their thoughts, and things get heated.
We also answer your questions:
- What is a reasonable amount of tooth fairy money?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What are you well, you're looking at me like, what
do you mean? Look, I'm just looking at it. I
thought we were going to be beard brothers. I'm off
it to grow back out. Laura doesn't like it.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Are you going to spend your days doing things that
Laura does and doesn't like? We're going to do things
that Maddie J.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Likes. I do a lot that I like. Go on,
I'm my own man, I'm an independent boy. A minute,
let's just go back one second. What do you like?
What do you like to do? What do I like
to do? What is it? I like to go to
the gym? Nice, I like to go to the beach.
I like that for you? I like food. Do you
(00:40):
like your beard? Matt Now it was too witchy? Okay,
Laura memories say that. Welcome back to two notting dads,
(01:03):
I and Mattie J. And I'm ash And this is
a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it
is the bad, and it's the relatable. And it's not
a podcast where you get advice. Absolutely not. We might
rant about things, but don't take it as advice. It
is getting a bit hot in here, isn't it? It is?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
And I have noticed something you do when you do
that intro well, and I wonder if we could go
back and look through footage. You do this thing with
the table. You do that with the table every time?
Does he not do I?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, it's just like a it's just your thing and
you're getting rid of it anything. You're clear in the bend.
I'm in the zone. Hey, just really quickly. I was
going to have we both our little story, a very
quick story. Yeah, they may be ship. My story is
is this weird? Yeah? I got an uber here. All right,
(01:50):
let's just for anyone who doesn't know the date. First
of all, get a calendar that we made, raunchy Ranch.
What is it April? In April? I can't believe it?
In April? We're in April? Shut up? He was playing
my uber driver Christmas songs? What yeah, the Christmas album
blaring which one well I couldn't quite make out the words.
It was just like it was on softly. It was
(02:11):
just like, it's Christmas time. I hate Christmas. And I
was like, is that weird? Yes, that is weird. I mean,
my kids every now and then love to throw on
a Christmas dress. Yeah, but they're kids.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
They just think that they just picture joy with it
an uber driver. Maybe he's trying to lure kids into
his uber. You've taken this in a direction you didn't
want to take it. I did not expect. Okay, well,
I've just got a different view of what's happening. Unless
he's a real big fan of Christmas in July and
he's prepping.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Well, I just think I just think maybe wearing the
wrong ash. Because because kids, they can tap into the
Christmas joy at any time, doesn't matter the day, January, February, July, August, September,
I could name any month. They can just throw on
a Christmas name all the months, and we are restricting
(03:06):
ourselves to only enjoy Christmas for.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
One month, not even a full month. But you're a
Christmas guy? What You're a Christmas guy? You like Christmas?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Not really? Really? Not really? Yeah, because I have to, Yeah,
I hate it.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I'm like, I've just put the Christmas tree up on Christmas,
even take it down boxing.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I just think that's because you've been so tied up,
you're so restricted, you don't like having forced fun. I
just think if you very true, if you just want
to enjoy Christmas tomorrow, you should put on a Christmas shirt.
You should pull a Christmas cracker, you should open up
a present.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But then people would be like this fucking weirdo. Yeah,
probably drives over more taxi driver. You've painted him as
being so one.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
He's just enjoying Christmas in April, and I say, good
on you. I will not be forced to have joy.
I refuse. What was your story? I was going to say,
April went to the office this morning, so she left early. Guys,
she works hard.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
She's a hard worker at the moment she was yesterday,
she was flat out anyway, So she's gone.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
She's left early this morning.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
So if it's for me to get up, do the kids,
get her on organized getting out of the house that
I can come here. But also there's an expectation of
just don't leave the house a fucking bomb, and I
don't like to get home either as well.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And it's well you hang on, hang on, April shouldn't
leave the house as a bomb. Me, you shouldn't go yeah, yeah, gotcha,
So that she'll probably get home before me.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It's a bad look if she gets home and she's like,
I know, you had to get the kids out the
door and drop the kids off at various places.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But also interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
This was gonna be a short story, but I've turned
into a long yeah, good good, good good, thank you yeah,
because I'm here to back you up.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Thank you, thank you. And that's fine and I feel
like the expectators. It's the least I could do, So
go on. I need to shower.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
So I went and showered and came out of the
shower and I thought, quickly make the bed.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I was completely nude. Kids are kids.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Kids are in the living room, obviously not doing what
I've asked them to do. Just just get dressed the
batman in a minute, your breakfast. Of course they're not
doing that. They're bickering.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I told a story last week about the trade's on
the roof.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yeah they're back, and I didn't know they're back.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
And I'm making the bed fully bent over on all
fours because I had to reach over to the far corner.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Turn around. Bingo bang go bongo. There's the apprentice. So
he's got bo PGHD like, don't mate me go back there.
I had a little giggle, Hey, big boy, I had
a little giggle, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
That poor guy, because he's seen me twice naked now
and he's probably like.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
A twenty year old Max. He's an apprentice, he can
tell and he's just looking right down the barrel of
your nourse. Yeah, on all fours, drag out of the shower.
That's quite hot. Yeah, And he was like, get that amrooid.
Check bro. I just want to say I don't want
to attack April on the podcast, because I'm not about
attacking anyone, especially not April. No, but I just I
(06:10):
just think, I think when you're getting the kids ready
in the morning, it then it removes your responsibility to
keep the house clean. Let me give you my thought process.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I agree if some instances, but I felt like she
was really busy yesterday.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
She was a bit stressed last night. When is she
not I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. Sorry,
I edit that out.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
No, I keep it in the bunny. And I was like,
I'll do a lot of washing. Should all love that?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Do a lot of washing?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Made the bed, untpack the dishwasher, repack the dishwasher, cleaned
the living room, left the house bom.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
And not own horn. But that's pretty wow.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
But there's probably a reason why I was so diligent
this morning, Matthew, which I do have some news you.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Before we go into that news. Are you behaving like
this because as a joke you booked in sex and
you posted that on your social media and then off
the back of that it worked, it worked. That's not
why are you behaving in this way because you're saying
thank you? Or are you just a good guy? Just
a good guy.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
But also, today's day one of being medicated for ADHD,
and it's given me a new it's given me a
new kind of feels like a new beginning.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Can I just really quickly because you got diagnosed was
like a month ago, it was a little bit longer
than that. And so what's the reminding the process? Why
why are they just giving meds then? And there?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
So New South Wales, there's a lot of different legislations,
different hoops you got to jump through. So we spoke
last time about the initial appointment where they diagnose you.
You've got to go and then do blood work ECG,
especially for me with dad heart disease, uttery disease.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Just did you have a heart attack, yeah, triple bypass
last year.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yes, Jesus, that was a second heart attack, so his
first heart attack of thirty nine.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
And oh, you're like thirty nine as well.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
No, dude, I'm early thirty, thirty four and a half.
You look great, thank you. You're like thirty nine.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, I'm thirty eight.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Soon he was as, you look great, thank you. That's
all right, let's move on. I was trying to get
some footage of me in the ECG machine, but apparently
the phone will interfere electronically.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I hate that. It's like when they tell you I'm
not content credit bro.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, I just said it's on airplane mode. So they
wouldn't let me do that. So I didn't get any
footage of it, but did joke. And we shouldn't joke
because mental health is very important. I feel like this
year I had neglected it until of the last few
weeks where it's like, all right, I need to get
shit done. Because I hadn't had a blood test and
(09:00):
I went to this place that I hadn't been to
in a very long time. Was that like a pathology place,
this particular one.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
What did they do again?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
They take your blood and stuff like that. You've got
to go faster than wait, it's a whole thing.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
How is that also?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Side note idea for a TV show just blood test
waiting room TV. Because everyone's fasted, no one is patient.
It would be chaos.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Everyone's on edge. Can write that down. I can see
you're smoking. You quite like that idea. She just pretended
to type on her laptop. Definitely did, damn it. But
I think that's a good idea. No, I don't know
much will happen. We'll have it with actors, and I'm
not saying reality. Oh you reckon, It's okay. So I
thought I thought it was real actors. Then in that case,
(09:49):
you've just been cast. Thank you. That is noted in
the fold up. Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
So it had been so long, and we spoke about
last year we'd been so long because I noticed how
long it's been because when they were doing my details,
it had my childhood address.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Jesus, So that's how long it has been since.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
I can't say how long it's been since I've had
a blood test, but how long it's been since I've
been there to have a blood test, which is local
to me. It has been my whole life, so I
must have at one point gone there twenty years ago,
like it has been so long. I was petrified.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
But the results came back.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Everything's good, cholesterol's a little high.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
How do you sell that? Well?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
She was like, look, have you not been exercising lately?
And remember I did my ankle, I took the bottom
of my foot off. The hemorrhoids, the hemorrhoids, the back,
anything else, just like the shoulder was broken for a while.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Wasn't it? That was just just one episode? Can I
ask what you are taking? Biasin biason? So it's slow acting.
So first one this morning, first one this morning? Feel good?
Do you feel different? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I also had therapy today. Wholl gee, I'm on fire.
I'm feeling good. I feel a little different. Yeah, sound different,
thank you. I feel like I've got less.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
The thing is like, if I.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Don't sound different by the way, I thinks, no, I know,
hopefully I don't because I don't want to be different.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I don't want to. I don't want it to.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I think that's a stigma behind it, Like I want
to lose my spark, and we spoke about that before.
I don't want to do that. I just want to
be able to talk properly. I just want to be
able to focus on the things that that are important,
and I felt like I was losing that, and I
was losing it weekly all the time.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I felt like I was.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Getting worse as I got older. Every day I felt
like I was getting worse. So for to have right now,
I feel more clarity at the moment.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
I want to take some here you go. I would
never take medicine that's not prescribed for me. Give me someone, Okay,
Can I shove it up your butt?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Absolutely talking about the uppercator you've got for Mali, And
I'm really shove that directly, shove that. You take it
or do you take it however you want me to wait,
it's just a tablet.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I'm very proud of you. Well done, so well.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I mean, we'll touch back on it, give it a month.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Every week. I just want to know how you're doing,
what you've been up to.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I feel good, Like I said, I feel like it's
a I feel like it's a new beginning somewhat. You
know when you're like new year, knew me. Yeah, like
new diagnosis, new me.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
April they say the worst time to have, you know,
big changes in your life is January April, beginning of April.
Bang on day one day two. I love it. Well.
I've had a week of wins and losses. Go on myself.
I've had a win with Lola. The dummy is going strong,
the no dummy. Just on that, just on that very quickly.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yes, because we did last week speak about Lola giving
up the dummy. I did think that maybe she was
hiding dummies. And we'll get to that.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Someone has written in about this story. I saw that. Yeah, yeah,
did I looked at through a room. Still no sign
of a hidden dummy. If she is hiding them in
a room somewhere, she's doing a very good job because
they are nowhere to be found.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Okay, let me just read you this message from someone. Sorry,
my phone is shite. I want to get the whole
thing where that happenings.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Ah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Okay, this is from a rachel or a raquel. It
just listened to Life on Cut this morning, followed by
two dating Dad. Laura said they battled for six weeks
last year to Ditchlolla's dummy, while Matt reckons it was
torture for a week.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
So who to believe? I can't quite remember. I remember
was it six weeks?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
No?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Can we call Laura quickly. Yeah, can we call? Can
you call her off your phone? She won't answer. If
she want to answer, she won't answer. My phone is
being used to record this. I don't think it was
six I think six weeks is a bit of an embellishment.
I think so too. I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I would look I usually I would take Laura's side
about I'm trying. I'm thinking back that six weeks would
be a shock. Maybe we can meet in the middle,
just withdraw to call Laura. She won't answer it because
it's me. Was this fucking idiot one? Maybe it's emergency.
She's ignoring it.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
The person you are calling. That's a bummer.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
But I'm gonna say it might have been longer than
a week, but it definitely wasn't six. I was cutting
it six weeks. Come on back now, Laura, get your
story straight. Stop lying to the people.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Thank you once again, the only podcast that doesn't embellished stories.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
In fact, we undersell the story. You've undersold that. I
think it might have been two weeks of torture. Don't
trust Laura, but not six weeks.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
No, come on, but she's doing great, really good, she
was doing great. Laura's just lying to everyone. No, Lola
is doing really well. Only downside is she wakes up,
wakes up like five forty five, six o'clock, and if
Lauras is different times, don't believe her. She just and
then Lola, she won't get back to sleep. Okay, so
(14:59):
we will get that little second sleeping with the dummy
in the mornings in and then go to sleep with
you with us here with the dummy. Yeah, we don't
have that anymore. How long would she go back to
sleep for? Do you think normally wakes up six thirty? Yeah?
I love that. It's like a little naptop up of
the sleep. I love it. That's my favorite time, especially
(15:20):
now it's a bit colder to nuzzle back in's got
morning breath. It's great. Yeah. So she's been good. So
that's been a win a loss that I've experienced. Did
you find any dummies in? No dummies? Not a single dummy? Wow? Yeah,
I'm impressed. I know, I know he's hidden them. Really
and also just weirdly, I don't know if you've had
(15:40):
this with your kids. Just out of nowhere, Lola has
just become obsessed with drawing. Obsessed with drawing. She's just
like she just fucking loves to draw. Now, that's so good, Like.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It came out very like, yeah, it's so good because
it's like occupied, absolutely and you don't get any shame
feelings about like have they been watching a screen for
too long?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah? Have they been drawing too long? And then they
love it. It doesn't matter. It's weird. She's now no
longer on the dummies, she's now drawing. I don't know
what's happened to Lola, but she's turned a corner. She's
growing up. She's mature. So that has been great. What's
not been great is well, I guess I'm my own
I am to blame for this. You know. Asking social
(16:26):
media for their opinion on any topic is always very dicey.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
It's a tough one because you get some sound advice.
There's also a lot of lunatics on the internet.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
There's a lot of crazy people, lots of mixed opinions,
a lot of opinions who you don't really care about.
But at the same time, you know, just as you do,
you're like, hey, let me know what you think. I
don't know if you know this, Ash, but I'm renovating
a house down in Ala. Dullah I thought you're going
to say another one. I was like for fux same,
just that one. And we have finished the bathroom, well,
(16:58):
the bathroom has completed. The upstairs bath in there yet, No,
maybe I have. Is it weird that we still have
like a toilet at the front of the house and
I kind of blew like a like a portaloo, like
a tradeing sauna. No, they they like built it out
of wood. They like it's a wooden one. They've got
the toilet bogie bogie. Yeah. They took the toilet, the
(17:21):
pink toilet, they took it out, they held onto it.
They then did some plumbing so it's plummed in. They
got a proper plumbing portaloo. It's just not really it's
just a look and it's great because it's it's got
like a carver, it's got walls. But it's also you
still feel like you're part of the mix of people
are there, like because everyone Yeah, you can still talk
to them once. Wow. So anyway, that's sophisticated. I would
(17:48):
normally use I like that toilet, but I love I
love the bathroom. Bathroom is crazy. I like that toilet,
but I also love the I want him to keep
that toilet at the front of the house, like just
in case. Yeah, that probably built like a nice Maddie's
out I kind of yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. There's something
very primal about going do you do your business outside?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
My grandfather who sadly is not with us anymore, but
they still have the outhouse at their players at the back.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
It's just riddled with red back spiders. But just be
mindful of that, thank you. I always Yeah, we did
have a fun of spider inside the house. That's another story. Okay, okay,
so the bathroom. Have you seen the bathroom reveal? Okay,
do you want to jump on your phone have a
quick look Shanter dot mud dot house. How do you
pronounce it, Shanta Shanter shon French? Is that? Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
They're tiles that look like wallpaper. I like the green,
I like the stone.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
The green. It's beige, but that's fine.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
The pink was horrid. Love heart bath. Let's have a
look at what at the tile again?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
That's green, my guys, beige, but that's okay. Is it
beij in real life Beijian bone Beijing. It's a dark beige.
I like it. I don't. It doesn't matter what. One
of the comments that we had was from someone they said,
you couldn't pay me to shit in that bathroom. And
I wrote back and I was like, just just double checking.
(19:10):
Do you like the bathroom? I'm not Are you not
sitting because it's so nice? I'm not quite sure that's
that's a good gear. Lots of opini. Did you chuckle?
You must have chuckled it that. I mean, do you
know you work pretty hard on It's been a long,
arduous journey to get this house finished almost there, and
(19:31):
for someone to say that, look, I was okay, Laura
nothing It got to her bit she got pretty angry.
She was like, I don't know exactly what she said,
but to one comment, she was like, how would you
feel if I said that your brick house was fucking
beije and boring? And I was like, oh, Laura, don't
do that. Just delete that work the house, the house,
(19:53):
isn't it feeling? Then people were like, you know, but
who asked? Because I did say in the video, I'm like,
let me know what you think.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
It has seven hundred and forty all comments on that, Yeah,
that is outrage. Can I just have a quick squizzy
at the top ones of the comments. Please, let's not
my style, but I really appreciate it. Looks fun and
very expensive.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Wow, that's my mum.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Love it ten out of ten. I guess who's backing?
Friend of mine Katie Lee is one of my friends. Oh,
she's up there, says gorgeous. Guys, looks stunning.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Lucky. Imagine if she was the one who was like
and fisticus with Laura.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You'd be ripped to pieces by Shana Blade from the block.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I did want to manage Shana and say, say, what's
your opinion, But the only opinion I really care about
is your opinion. Ash. So, someone who was a former
trading pink was horrible.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Okay, so I'm glad you've moved on from that. You
wouldn't need to pay me a.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Shue in it. I quite like it. Beige green, dark
GREENI beige. I like the tiles, I like you, I
like the I appreciate that. That's okay. We've had lots
of great feedback. That bathroom was the first situation where
people were starting to turn on us.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I don't know why people get so worked up over
a bathroom renovation, especially those people who are like.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
You've ruined the integrity of the house. Good luck with
the retail. Good luck with the retail much more. And
I was like, you have to pry the keys out
of my cold dead hands. This is for you and
your family to enjoy. People can get someone a lot
of money for the house. You wouldn't be able to
pay me to shue in there.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's like you should invite that guy over, give me
a shit load of laxities, and then lock the fucking
bathery door. There you go.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
You've got to pay me. Fuck It's been a rollercoaster
of emotions, Ash.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I've been doing a lot of work on myself. As
we spoke about with.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
H once again, you should be commended, thank you, and
I do need it.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
But with that becomes a lot of flashbacks, a lot
of memories, and we have the memory about the quantus,
which I've never fully recovered. I actually went to an
art gallery with a guy who sat next to me
in that exact classroom where that happened. But that's not
the story. The story is that I went to a
(22:04):
gallery which very out of the ordinary for me, but
local artist was having an opening and I thought I'll
be doing the right thing, and I'll go you've.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Changed, thank you, I've changed in like a week. That's great.
That's what I could do with a decent amount of time.
I went to the theater. I went to the theater
with we watched some ballet. Gallery afterwards.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
I actually went to a night girl and they got
you faced afterwards, So it doesn't matter they had they
had a margarita bar. But it got me thinking about
galleries and the last time I was at a gallery,
which happened to me when I was a child. My
dad used to be a sales rep. We lived in
Sydney at the time. He was all about networking because
(22:44):
there was no social media. It was about going out
a meeting people. He got one of his friends that
he worked with. Their partner was an artist, and invited
all of us to this gallery. Mind you, two kids, mom, dad,
four of us.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
You all went. We all went. It was like a weekend. Well,
I was probably more like we brought kids to an
art gallery. I didn't bring kids.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
My dad brang the kids because I don't think they
I think we were too young to just leave us
and they probably didn't have anyone to look after us.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
So we all went. It was Sorry. I'm so sorry.
I thought you're talking about when you went to the gallery.
This is when you were a kid. Are you not
listening to my I was not listening. I'll be honest, Well,
listen to shoe on the other foot. I'm usually I'm
the one who can't listen. Sorry, let me start again.
Then I can't keep up with him now that you're
on medications.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Sorry, I told you my brain power today is unbelievable.
I Telly potted here, exhausted, like I need to go
to Matt's house. I'm here, mom, dad, me and my sister.
How old I would have been, maybe like eight or nine? Great,
my sister's a little bit older than me, like same
age as you, thirty forty five and.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Giggled myself. Sorry, I just couldn't help yourself. I couldn't
help myself. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. And anyway,
so we went to this gallery on a weekend.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
It was what I recall, it was beautiful, but in
the middle of this gallery, in the middle of Surrey.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Hills, and we know what Surry Hills like, it's quite
a fancy who say fancy? I don't know a niche suburb.
Let's say it's a niche suburb. There's a lot party.
Thank you, you said, let me go after him, not me,
and we all went that.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
There was a centerpiece, okay, and it was I remember
it was like glass, dish looking things stacked up nicely,
similar color to that light actually.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Green for thoseg.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
And next to it was a book that you would
write your thoughts on the piece. It was like the
main centerpiece for the whole gallery, like.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
When you check out. It was the centerpiece to the
whole event. Who the fuck is writing in books? Being
like the art was great?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Well, I'll tell you was mister Wayne Wicks, who happened
to be my father. And I am at this point,
I'm out the front of the gallery with my sister,
real fucking bored as you would be as kids, and
I hear a commotion followed by a lot of glass smashing.
What's happened is my dad was writing in the book
and he had his sleeve rolled up to hear he
(25:23):
was writing in the book, and his sleeve brushed one
of the glass pieces of the centerpiece of art, and
I didn't know it was dad at this time. It
has smashed all over the polished concrete floor everywhere, and
I looked at my sister and I was like, I
hope that's not Dad. And I've walked in and I've
(25:46):
never seen this look on my father's face, and I'll
never forget it. It is burned in my brain. I
remember he was holding his hand like this because he
was so embarrassed about it.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Like this.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
The place was fucking sil You could hear a pin drop.
There's glass all over the floor. My dad's face is
bright red and he's sitting there like the remember this specifically,
and he was just he was just like a hand
over the other hand, like.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
He's shaking his own hand again, like what have I done?
What have I done? Ninety thousand dollars this thing? Ninety thousand,
ninety thousand, that's how much it was to buy it.
Oh my fucking god.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It is dead silent in this gallery, Like I said, drop.
Thankfully Dad knew the partner of the artist and it
happened to be on that day a replica, but we
didn't know that at first. We didn't know going into it.
(26:51):
He thinks off uk and my mom's like off fuck,
and we're all like, holy shit, that's what it was
like anyway, So thankfully they were like after the commotion
and clean up and we we pretty much had to leave,
like you can't sit there and Harry. And the worst
(27:12):
part about it was because we we weren't a well
off family, we we took that that invited a day
for maybe a day in the city with the family
asked for we had a The worst part about it
is we had a lunch booked the four of us
to go to a really old traditional Italian restaurant that
(27:34):
was you know it was. It was a chaotic sort
of style restaurant. Anyway, I remember we all went and.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Not a fucking word was spoken. And did your dad
write in the book at the end or I think
he didn't get to finish what he was writing. I
really loved the piece.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Sorry about the mess, which it wasn't made out of glass,
But I remember sitting at this restaurant completely silent for
what felt like a life time, and then having drive
it all the way back to all the beaches, and
it's safe to say both my dad and I had
not This is the first time I've been back in an.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Art gallery and that was twenty something. Did you break
anything out of principle. Yes.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I was talking to the director of the gallery, like
just in conversation, and I told her the story and
she said to me, you need to close the circle.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
It's like, what what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Do you want to You want me to smash something up?
But she's no, no, no, just don't smash anything up.
And when you finish, you leave without making a man.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
He's just walking around holding your hands closed it so
but the guy I was with Cam was like, look
at this artwork. I don't look at it. My fault.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Anyway, they had a margarita bar, so that really took
the edge off. And then I smashed up everything and
I left and.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I left without smashing anything.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
But I did find myself like having one of those
moments where I was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Has this circle been closed? Yeah? Wait, that was the
most unsure. Yeah, it's like, did you fucking break anything? On? Well,
the circle's close circles class? Did you break the circle?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
I did take a way up against the fans out
of the bag when I left, as long as no
art was damaged in the process.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, that was duck. So I'm not sure an all good,
well done, Thank you? Have you seen what chapel Ron
has said about parents. No, for anyone who is not familiar,
we're going to play it for you now and ash
it'll refresh our memories. This is what chapel has said
about parents slash kids. All of my friends who have
kids are in health.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I actually don't know anyone who's like happy and has
children at this age.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Anyone who has like light in their eyes, anyone who.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Has who has slept? Do they think this is all wild?
Like how famous you are and like all of it.
When they see articles about you orre they like calling
you up and be like Kaylie, what the fuck? Or
are they just like this is your life, bitch like
Texas when you want to come over.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Yeah, Like they're just like their mothers, Like they're fucking
busy and they have jobs in life.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Like I am just their friend, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Like they are so sweet and so supportive and come
out to shows and like they have to get fucking
babysitters to come to my show.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
First of all, she's shout on all her friends because
they have to get babysitters to come to shows.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
They're in hell. That's your idea of hell. It's probably
not their idea of hell. Okay, firstly, that's my first point.
And then she was like, but then they text me
and love and support me and all this sort of stuff,
Well why don't you instead of shitting on your fucking mates.
But like, they've made choices. Okay, it's not my choice
for now. They're probably happy, but don't say they're in
fucking hell.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I think it's pretty hard though, though, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
It is hard, and it's it's my hell, it's not
her hell, you know what I mean. So we can
agree with that, can be there's moments that it's in hell,
but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I'm not going to sit here and say, Okay, I've
got two kids, I'm in hell all the fucking time.
And some people struggle, right, have real fucking struggles and
might feel like they're in hell. But they made a
choice to be parents right in most instances, And then
said they're really supportive of me. Return the favor maybe,
and then you know, I would. I guarantee her fucking
(31:04):
friends aren't that supportive if she's talking about them like that.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
But is she wrong though she talks about the fact
that it's parenting's really hard it is hard, and they don't.
Her friends look like they don't. They're not happy, they're
not having sleep. So is she wrong? Is she wrong
to point out that, like, hey, parenting from my perspective
looks pretty shit.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Yeah, it's fine to have that opinion. Fine to have
that opinion, and but be like, hey, look, you know
you can't just say they're in hell.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
And every parent knows it's hard. But literally, my child could.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Turn around and smile at me and it completely wipes
that off the fucking face of the planet. I can't
sit here and go they're in hell, because the hell
is the worst place you can end up, always, forever, infinite.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I look at it this way, and I think, on
the one hand, yeah, parenting is really hard, but I
think it is why parents have been offended by it
is because it's like having a job, right, give a job.
It's really really hard. You know, you're working nine to
five long hours, you're underpaid, and then for someone else
external to your situation to look in and point at
(32:08):
you and go, your life looks fucking awful. It looks
it's like kick a man while he's down. That's it.
I think one thing that she's really forgotten to include reality.
Fuck now is the fact that, hey, look, we're not
going to sit here and say that parenting is amazing,
because you know, anyone who's listening to the podcast knows
(32:29):
that we talk about the fact that it is really
bloody hard a lot of the time. But I think
what makes parenting worthwhile is those moments where you do
get that little connection the affection from your kids. And
it's not all the time. It's only, like, you know,
ten to fifteen twenty percent of the time, but that
entirely outweighs all of the bad parts of parenting.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Sure, you can have the worst day on the fucking planet,
with or without your kids, right and you can get
home and little Macy comes and gives me a cuddle
with no stream is attached to it whatsoever, just and
then nuzzle it head up against me, and that whatever
has happened that day is forgotten about completely. It's not
(33:09):
I don't live in infinite hell, because that's what that is.
You have those moments and every parent will tell you
you be like, fuck, my kid pissed me off so
much yesterday and then he drew a picture and it
was like super sick, and it was like that completely
fucking changed everything, Like expect to not cop any flak
from someone like me, Like, I won't comment on that
on it because I don't need the fucking reoccurring notifications.
(33:33):
I will say what I need to be said now,
and then that's it. If one of my mates turned
around and said to me and said, well, I just
live in hell all the time, I'd say, you need
to go and fucking seek some help, because it's not.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
It's not all hell, it's not infinite. I love it
when you get passionate. Sorry, no, that's nice. I think
I'm on to no illusion that parenting is not for everybody.
There's there's lots of friends of mine who don't have kids.
Some of them come into town and I'm like, let's
meet up and they're like, great, where do you want
to meet And I'm like, well, there's there's the kids
end of Bondai Beach, which you know, I could meet
(34:04):
you down there in like an hour with Marley and Lola.
And they're like, oh, couldn't eat anything worse, And that's
totally fine. Not everyone, like, not everyone likes my bathroom,
but not everyone's gonna like my situation. It doesn't surprise
me that people look at parenting and go that looks
absolutely horrendous and there's no way I'd want to do that.
And I'm like, that's fine. I just hope that anyone
who was on the fence of potentially having kids is
(34:26):
like not looking at those comments and being like, wow,
I don't really want to have kids because for the record,
printing is hard, but it's also the most amazing, life changing,
most so rewarding, ful filling time of my life.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah, like at the moment because at Oscar school, it's
like a long track to get there, and like go
and pick him, going to pick him up in an
afternoon and watching him, you know, walk up independently on
his own. There's something that that gives me that nothing
else in the world will ever give me. And it's
such a combination of pride and and just fulfillment, Like
(35:03):
there's some there is something there that than nothing else
in the world will give me. I agree, and non
parents won't understand that. But you don't have to understand it.
If it's not for you.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
It's not for you, that's fine, but fucking keep it
to yourself. But I will lose a bit of sleep
to have those feelings for sure, Ash, it is now
time for parenting lies. Tell me loud, tell me little
lived Ash. This one is from Kate and she says
we convinced our kids that the WiFi ruder is actually
(35:34):
a pet and if they leave the room for too long,
it gets lonely and stops working. The Wi Fi routerer?
What why is it a pet? Yeah? I mean I
don't want to Kate. I don't want to call you
out here, but like, do you want to encourage your
kids to go outside? Okay? I did. I just thought
it was a sleep at the time. I didn't want
to bring it up. R router, it's a Wi Fi router. Well,
(35:57):
there's no need to yell ruter. Well. I regret picking
this lie A because I said it wrong and B
because I don't know why Kate I did think it
was strange.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
So she wants the kids to stay inside with it. Yeah,
I'm confused. They're inside kids and outside this harm.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Maybe they live in a war zone, Let's move on.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Maybe they live in a national park and they could
be wild animals outside.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
We don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
This one's from Rebecca. When my kids refuse to leave somewhere.
I tell them mosquitoes are coming out. If they still
don't move, I slap my legs and say, mosquitos are
biding me.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
That's very good. That's good because my kids hate mosquitoes.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I can just see Kate going, We've got to stay
home because if you go outside, this mosquito.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
That is genius. At the back of our garden here
we got a lot of mozzies and the kids hate it.
If they get bitten by mossie, it's like they've lost
a limb.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
It's not it's weird that what what areas they're attracted to?
It's not very swampy out there at all. When I
lived in Tweet, we lived above with it on a hill.
That below was like the road went through a swamp.
Pretty much. It was always where it was mossy fucking heaven.
But thankfully they don't like me. So my sister, the
(37:13):
poor thing got attacked. She got attacked on a rag.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
And this is from Annabelle. She says that brushing your
teeth will cure you're sore tummy. Clever, clever, clever. What
if the kids don't have a saw tummy? Though? She's
we got it, we tricked it, we got it.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
It's funny like Oscar and I don't know if your
kids do this too, where they'll go.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
He's like, oh my Tommy saw no, I don't get that.
I get that.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
He's like, I want to eat it. I want to
eat it. But at the moment my Tommy saw no,
he's just trying to trick me. Ship Okay, last one
from me from Diane.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
A lot of.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Consistent regular names this week, great names. Last week we
had some mascua names like crystal shitry was it down?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Remember like that that shrewdy? I don't know anyway, Diane.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
My mother in law convinced my husband that he was
allergic to fizzy drinks.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
He believed until he was fifteen. Do you know what
I believed until I was like, I still kind of
believe it. Now you're allergic to hey know that? Do
you know when you remember grade one? My neighbor told
me this lie right, you know when you go and
you're like you're pushing out a pool and make yourself
go really red. Oh yeah yeah yeah. They said if
you do that, your brain will drop through your mouth,
(38:32):
like into your mouth, yeah, like your brain will get
dislodged and like fall into your mouth, and so growing up,
I could never do that. I could never make myself
go red because of my neighbor one time told me
that Lie, it's like you're the roof of your mouth.
It's like not existence it down. Then there you go.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Before we go into questions, Matt, if any parents out
there have any lies that they tell their kids, or
we're told, or any many generations ago, I don't mind,
because look at Elie. She's coming out with all the goods.
You can email us.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Hello too, don't Dad's or you can go to Instagram, dads,
dms or Facebook time for questions as I've got one here.
There's actually one that I've wondered myself. This is off
the back of Marley. I think maybe a kid at
school lost a tooth and Marley's pumped she lost her too,
not yet, but she's like, I think this one's wobbling,
(39:24):
and I'm like, is it? And she's like, maybe she
is ready, she is wobbling all the teeth. But I
was wondering what is standard practice for tooth fairy visits?
Like what are we giving these days? What do the
kids want? What do they need? What do they deserve.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
We haven't had the conversation about tooth fairries yet, and
I'm trying to remember when.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
What did you get as a kid. I don't think
we did anything like that. What well?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Come from a childhood where we didn't celebrate Halloween, Christmas, Easter.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
No tooth fairy, no tooth fairy. But I can recall
what you were robbed of a childhood. Yeah, if you
lost the two, that's what would happen. I think I'd
just give them to mum and dad. I don't know
what they did with them, and you've got nothing in return. No, okay, interesting,
not to bring up more childhood trauma. Let's let's do it.
This is revealing a lot. I used to get a dollar.
(40:14):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
There's this day and age. Probably not inflation, Yeah, this
age pathetic. The twoth faiies not immune to inflation, my guy.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
But I'm wondering what is what is standard practice? So
I put the call out to the Facebook group. Okay,
because you know, will you do anything for Oscar Macic
when they lose a tooth or will you follow the
So yeah, very much love that. We will definitely do something.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Because April loves that sort of stuff, so I don't
see why we wouldn't, but I wouldn't know how much
to give them, So.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
This is very helpful. Well, actually put the call out
there to the Facebook group and they've given us a
few responses. Actually, this is from Joe. She says, shiny
coins always Sometimes the fairy has a quiet night, so
that's the reason some kids at school get more. Busy
nights mean more kids to spread the total amount between.
So there's just like a total kiddy. Yeah, so if
she's in it's a busy night, you may get thirty cents.
(41:00):
Would you withhold your tooth?
Speaker 2 (41:01):
You wouldn't know, it would be frustrating when yes, it's
roll of the Essentially, what's happening there, they're introducing gambling.
It's gambling gambling for kids. This is from Shads. We
put it in a drawstring bag on the bedside table.
For the tooth Fairy. We did ten bucks the first tooth,
along with a note saying the tooth Fairy only takes nice, clean,
(41:26):
well brushed teeth. After that it was five dollars or two.
I love the brushed clean to think ten bucks.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
That's a lot. That's a lot. One person wrote and said,
five dollars a standard practice. I think five is a
nice amount ash if this makes sense. So you put
the tooth in a glass cup next to the bed, right.
Then you make sure you have an identical cup to
the one that the tooth is in. Okay, okay, so
like your glass wear, make sure it's all consistent. Yeah,
(41:57):
my house'll be fucked. Then get the other cup, ad glitter,
coins and even food die if you like. And so
when they're a sleepy to a quick switch far out.
People really going and we're going hard. If the kid
knocks the glass and you've got fucking glass. And if
they knocked the glass, get up, we step on the glass.
It could be a whole thing. And then they cut
(42:18):
an artery. Imagine that.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
And the foot artery is very well known. Kids bleeding
out minutes minutes. The tooth fairy, like my plan, set
an alarm in capitals.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Have no need to yell.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
One time the tooth Fairy did a no show, fell
asleep on the job, and had to write a letter
of apology to my son. Apparently it was too windy
for the tooth Fairy on that particular.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
She hates high wind that's a known fact. These are good.
I like it. Last one is oh god, no Jessemine.
Did we have a Jesmine last time? Same Jessemine min An.
I'll be backing them in sounds. Made up all these names. Guys.
She said, this is really this is your this is
your type of parenting. I was drunk on Melbourne Cup
(43:05):
Day and gave my daughter twenty bucks for a first tooth.
Love that. I love how that twenty dollars were coming
about too.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Would have been like at the end of the day,
daddy loves the tooth.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Treat yourself. He's twenty bucks to get your old men
and beer. Very good. I like that. Look normally we
have two questions. We have run out of time. That's
my fault. I think takes medication won't shut them up.
Bloody hell yeah, you're in for one. Thank you as
always a pleasure. Thoroughly enjoyed this episode with you. And
if you've enjoyed this episode, you can give us some
(43:41):
You can give us a reviewack yeah comments. Have a
podcast Spotify wherever you listen to this podcast. We want
to hear your thoughts or on social media. Two doting dads.
Let's not forget ash you're wearing one right now. The
smelly Nappy Tea. We have a few left. They look fantastic.
It's nice, it's nelly like. Could also be like a
run club team. Yes, it's running down, So if you
(44:08):
want to pick up a shirt, there's a few laft.
Two Doting Dads dot Com forty five bucks. A bit
of shipping, yeah, a bit of shipping, and Ashley got
to get out of here. We should do goodbye bye. Yeah.
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
(44:31):
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
people's today.
What are you well, you're looking at me like, what
do you mean? Look, I'm just looking at it. I
thought we were going to be beard brothers. I'm off
it to grow back out. Laura doesn't like it.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Are you going to spend your days doing things that
Laura does and doesn't like? We're going to do things
that Maddie J.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Likes. I do a lot that I like. Go on,
I'm my own man, I'm an independent boy. A minute,
let's just go back one second. What do you like?
What do you like to do? What do I like
to do? What is it? I like to go to
the gym? Nice, I like to go to the beach.
I like that for you? I like food. Do you
(00:40):
like your beard? Matt Now it was too witchy? Okay,
Laura memories say that. Welcome back to two notting dads,
(01:03):
I and Mattie J. And I'm ash And this is
a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it
is the bad, and it's the relatable. And it's not
a podcast where you get advice. Absolutely not. We might
rant about things, but don't take it as advice. It
is getting a bit hot in here, isn't it? It is?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
And I have noticed something you do when you do
that intro well, and I wonder if we could go
back and look through footage. You do this thing with
the table. You do that with the table every time?
Does he not do I?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, it's just like a it's just your thing and
you're getting rid of it anything. You're clear in the bend.
I'm in the zone. Hey, just really quickly. I was
going to have we both our little story, a very
quick story. Yeah, they may be ship. My story is
is this weird? Yeah? I got an uber here. All right,
(01:50):
let's just for anyone who doesn't know the date. First
of all, get a calendar that we made, raunchy Ranch.
What is it April? In April? I can't believe it?
In April? We're in April? Shut up? He was playing
my uber driver Christmas songs? What yeah, the Christmas album
blaring which one well I couldn't quite make out the words.
It was just like it was on softly. It was
(02:11):
just like, it's Christmas time. I hate Christmas. And I
was like, is that weird? Yes, that is weird. I mean,
my kids every now and then love to throw on
a Christmas dress. Yeah, but they're kids.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
They just think that they just picture joy with it
an uber driver. Maybe he's trying to lure kids into
his uber. You've taken this in a direction you didn't
want to take it. I did not expect. Okay, well,
I've just got a different view of what's happening. Unless
he's a real big fan of Christmas in July and
he's prepping.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Well, I just think I just think maybe wearing the
wrong ash. Because because kids, they can tap into the
Christmas joy at any time, doesn't matter the day, January, February, July, August, September,
I could name any month. They can just throw on
a Christmas name all the months, and we are restricting
(03:06):
ourselves to only enjoy Christmas for.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
One month, not even a full month. But you're a
Christmas guy? What You're a Christmas guy? You like Christmas?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Not really? Really? Not really? Yeah, because I have to, Yeah,
I hate it.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I'm like, I've just put the Christmas tree up on Christmas,
even take it down boxing.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I just think that's because you've been so tied up,
you're so restricted, you don't like having forced fun. I
just think if you very true, if you just want
to enjoy Christmas tomorrow, you should put on a Christmas shirt.
You should pull a Christmas cracker, you should open up
a present.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But then people would be like this fucking weirdo. Yeah,
probably drives over more taxi driver. You've painted him as
being so one.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
He's just enjoying Christmas in April, and I say, good
on you. I will not be forced to have joy.
I refuse. What was your story? I was going to say,
April went to the office this morning, so she left early. Guys,
she works hard.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
She's a hard worker at the moment she was yesterday,
she was flat out anyway, So she's gone.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
She's left early this morning.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
So if it's for me to get up, do the kids,
get her on organized getting out of the house that
I can come here. But also there's an expectation of
just don't leave the house a fucking bomb, and I
don't like to get home either as well.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And it's well you hang on, hang on, April shouldn't
leave the house as a bomb. Me, you shouldn't go yeah, yeah, gotcha,
So that she'll probably get home before me.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It's a bad look if she gets home and she's like,
I know, you had to get the kids out the
door and drop the kids off at various places.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But also interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
This was gonna be a short story, but I've turned
into a long yeah, good good, good good, thank you yeah,
because I'm here to back you up.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Thank you, thank you. And that's fine and I feel
like the expectators. It's the least I could do, So
go on. I need to shower.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
So I went and showered and came out of the
shower and I thought, quickly make the bed.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I was completely nude. Kids are kids.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Kids are in the living room, obviously not doing what
I've asked them to do. Just just get dressed the
batman in a minute, your breakfast. Of course they're not
doing that. They're bickering.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I told a story last week about the trade's on
the roof.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yeah they're back, and I didn't know they're back.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
And I'm making the bed fully bent over on all
fours because I had to reach over to the far corner.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Turn around. Bingo bang go bongo. There's the apprentice. So
he's got bo PGHD like, don't mate me go back there.
I had a little giggle, Hey, big boy, I had
a little giggle, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
That poor guy, because he's seen me twice naked now
and he's probably like.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
A twenty year old Max. He's an apprentice, he can
tell and he's just looking right down the barrel of
your nourse. Yeah, on all fours, drag out of the shower.
That's quite hot. Yeah, And he was like, get that amrooid.
Check bro. I just want to say I don't want
to attack April on the podcast, because I'm not about
attacking anyone, especially not April. No, but I just I
(06:10):
just think, I think when you're getting the kids ready
in the morning, it then it removes your responsibility to
keep the house clean. Let me give you my thought process.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I agree if some instances, but I felt like she
was really busy yesterday.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
She was a bit stressed last night. When is she
not I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. Sorry,
I edit that out.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
No, I keep it in the bunny. And I was like,
I'll do a lot of washing. Should all love that?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Do a lot of washing?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Made the bed, untpack the dishwasher, repack the dishwasher, cleaned
the living room, left the house bom.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
And not own horn. But that's pretty wow.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
But there's probably a reason why I was so diligent
this morning, Matthew, which I do have some news you.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Before we go into that news. Are you behaving like
this because as a joke you booked in sex and
you posted that on your social media and then off
the back of that it worked, it worked. That's not
why are you behaving in this way because you're saying
thank you? Or are you just a good guy? Just
a good guy.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
But also, today's day one of being medicated for ADHD,
and it's given me a new it's given me a
new kind of feels like a new beginning.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Can I just really quickly because you got diagnosed was
like a month ago, it was a little bit longer
than that. And so what's the reminding the process? Why
why are they just giving meds then? And there?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
So New South Wales, there's a lot of different legislations,
different hoops you got to jump through. So we spoke
last time about the initial appointment where they diagnose you.
You've got to go and then do blood work ECG,
especially for me with dad heart disease, uttery disease.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Just did you have a heart attack, yeah, triple bypass
last year.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yes, Jesus, that was a second heart attack, so his
first heart attack of thirty nine.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
And oh, you're like thirty nine as well.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
No, dude, I'm early thirty, thirty four and a half.
You look great, thank you. You're like thirty nine.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, I'm thirty eight.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Soon he was as, you look great, thank you. That's
all right, let's move on. I was trying to get
some footage of me in the ECG machine, but apparently
the phone will interfere electronically.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I hate that. It's like when they tell you I'm
not content credit bro.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, I just said it's on airplane mode. So they
wouldn't let me do that. So I didn't get any
footage of it, but did joke. And we shouldn't joke
because mental health is very important. I feel like this
year I had neglected it until of the last few
weeks where it's like, all right, I need to get
shit done. Because I hadn't had a blood test and
(09:00):
I went to this place that I hadn't been to
in a very long time. Was that like a pathology place,
this particular one.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
What did they do again?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
They take your blood and stuff like that. You've got
to go faster than wait, it's a whole thing.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
How is that also?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Side note idea for a TV show just blood test
waiting room TV. Because everyone's fasted, no one is patient.
It would be chaos.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Everyone's on edge. Can write that down. I can see
you're smoking. You quite like that idea. She just pretended
to type on her laptop. Definitely did, damn it. But
I think that's a good idea. No, I don't know
much will happen. We'll have it with actors, and I'm
not saying reality. Oh you reckon, It's okay. So I
thought I thought it was real actors. Then in that case,
(09:49):
you've just been cast. Thank you. That is noted in
the fold up. Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
So it had been so long, and we spoke about
last year we'd been so long because I noticed how
long it's been because when they were doing my details,
it had my childhood address.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Jesus, So that's how long it has been since.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
I can't say how long it's been since I've had
a blood test, but how long it's been since I've
been there to have a blood test, which is local
to me. It has been my whole life, so I
must have at one point gone there twenty years ago,
like it has been so long. I was petrified.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
But the results came back.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Everything's good, cholesterol's a little high.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
How do you sell that? Well?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
She was like, look, have you not been exercising lately?
And remember I did my ankle, I took the bottom
of my foot off. The hemorrhoids, the hemorrhoids, the back,
anything else, just like the shoulder was broken for a while.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Wasn't it? That was just just one episode? Can I
ask what you are taking? Biasin biason? So it's slow acting.
So first one this morning, first one this morning? Feel good?
Do you feel different? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I also had therapy today. Wholl gee, I'm on fire.
I'm feeling good. I feel a little different. Yeah, sound different,
thank you. I feel like I've got less.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
The thing is like, if I.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Don't sound different by the way, I thinks, no, I know,
hopefully I don't because I don't want to be different.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I don't want to. I don't want it to.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I think that's a stigma behind it, Like I want
to lose my spark, and we spoke about that before.
I don't want to do that. I just want to
be able to talk properly. I just want to be
able to focus on the things that that are important,
and I felt like I was losing that, and I
was losing it weekly all the time.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I felt like I was.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Getting worse as I got older. Every day I felt
like I was getting worse. So for to have right now,
I feel more clarity at the moment.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
I want to take some here you go. I would
never take medicine that's not prescribed for me. Give me someone, Okay,
Can I shove it up your butt?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Absolutely talking about the uppercator you've got for Mali, And
I'm really shove that directly, shove that. You take it
or do you take it however you want me to wait,
it's just a tablet.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I'm very proud of you. Well done, so well.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I mean, we'll touch back on it, give it a month.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Every week. I just want to know how you're doing,
what you've been up to.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I feel good, Like I said, I feel like it's
a I feel like it's a new beginning somewhat. You
know when you're like new year, knew me. Yeah, like
new diagnosis, new me.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
April they say the worst time to have, you know,
big changes in your life is January April, beginning of April.
Bang on day one day two. I love it. Well.
I've had a week of wins and losses. Go on myself.
I've had a win with Lola. The dummy is going strong,
the no dummy. Just on that, just on that very quickly.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yes, because we did last week speak about Lola giving
up the dummy. I did think that maybe she was
hiding dummies. And we'll get to that.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Someone has written in about this story. I saw that. Yeah, yeah,
did I looked at through a room. Still no sign
of a hidden dummy. If she is hiding them in
a room somewhere, she's doing a very good job because
they are nowhere to be found.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Okay, let me just read you this message from someone. Sorry,
my phone is shite. I want to get the whole
thing where that happenings.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Ah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Okay, this is from a rachel or a raquel. It
just listened to Life on Cut this morning, followed by
two dating Dad. Laura said they battled for six weeks
last year to Ditchlolla's dummy, while Matt reckons it was
torture for a week.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
So who to believe? I can't quite remember. I remember
was it six weeks?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
No?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Can we call Laura quickly. Yeah, can we call? Can
you call her off your phone? She won't answer. If
she want to answer, she won't answer. My phone is
being used to record this. I don't think it was
six I think six weeks is a bit of an embellishment.
I think so too. I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I would look I usually I would take Laura's side
about I'm trying. I'm thinking back that six weeks would
be a shock. Maybe we can meet in the middle,
just withdraw to call Laura. She won't answer it because
it's me. Was this fucking idiot one? Maybe it's emergency.
She's ignoring it.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
The person you are calling. That's a bummer.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
But I'm gonna say it might have been longer than
a week, but it definitely wasn't six. I was cutting
it six weeks. Come on back now, Laura, get your
story straight. Stop lying to the people.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Thank you once again, the only podcast that doesn't embellished stories.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
In fact, we undersell the story. You've undersold that. I
think it might have been two weeks of torture. Don't
trust Laura, but not six weeks.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
No, come on, but she's doing great, really good, she
was doing great. Laura's just lying to everyone. No, Lola
is doing really well. Only downside is she wakes up,
wakes up like five forty five, six o'clock, and if
Lauras is different times, don't believe her. She just and
then Lola, she won't get back to sleep. Okay, so
(14:59):
we will get that little second sleeping with the dummy
in the mornings in and then go to sleep with
you with us here with the dummy. Yeah, we don't
have that anymore. How long would she go back to
sleep for? Do you think normally wakes up six thirty? Yeah?
I love that. It's like a little naptop up of
the sleep. I love it. That's my favorite time, especially
(15:20):
now it's a bit colder to nuzzle back in's got
morning breath. It's great. Yeah. So she's been good. So
that's been a win a loss that I've experienced. Did
you find any dummies in? No dummies? Not a single dummy? Wow? Yeah,
I'm impressed. I know, I know he's hidden them. Really
and also just weirdly, I don't know if you've had
(15:40):
this with your kids. Just out of nowhere, Lola has
just become obsessed with drawing. Obsessed with drawing. She's just
like she just fucking loves to draw. Now, that's so good, Like.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It came out very like, yeah, it's so good because
it's like occupied, absolutely and you don't get any shame
feelings about like have they been watching a screen for
too long?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah? Have they been drawing too long? And then they
love it. It doesn't matter. It's weird. She's now no
longer on the dummies, she's now drawing. I don't know
what's happened to Lola, but she's turned a corner. She's
growing up. She's mature. So that has been great. What's
not been great is well, I guess I'm my own
I am to blame for this. You know. Asking social
(16:26):
media for their opinion on any topic is always very dicey.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
It's a tough one because you get some sound advice.
There's also a lot of lunatics on the internet.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
There's a lot of crazy people, lots of mixed opinions,
a lot of opinions who you don't really care about.
But at the same time, you know, just as you do,
you're like, hey, let me know what you think. I
don't know if you know this, Ash, but I'm renovating
a house down in Ala. Dullah I thought you're going
to say another one. I was like for fux same,
just that one. And we have finished the bathroom, well,
(16:58):
the bathroom has completed. The upstairs bath in there yet, No,
maybe I have. Is it weird that we still have
like a toilet at the front of the house and
I kind of blew like a like a portaloo, like
a tradeing sauna. No, they they like built it out
of wood. They like it's a wooden one. They've got
the toilet bogie bogie. Yeah. They took the toilet, the
(17:21):
pink toilet, they took it out, they held onto it.
They then did some plumbing so it's plummed in. They
got a proper plumbing portaloo. It's just not really it's
just a look and it's great because it's it's got
like a carver, it's got walls. But it's also you
still feel like you're part of the mix of people
are there, like because everyone Yeah, you can still talk
to them once. Wow. So anyway, that's sophisticated. I would
(17:48):
normally use I like that toilet, but I love I
love the bathroom. Bathroom is crazy. I like that toilet,
but I also love the I want him to keep
that toilet at the front of the house, like just
in case. Yeah, that probably built like a nice Maddie's
out I kind of yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. There's something
very primal about going do you do your business outside?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
My grandfather who sadly is not with us anymore, but
they still have the outhouse at their players at the back.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
It's just riddled with red back spiders. But just be
mindful of that, thank you. I always Yeah, we did
have a fun of spider inside the house. That's another story. Okay, okay,
so the bathroom. Have you seen the bathroom reveal? Okay,
do you want to jump on your phone have a
quick look Shanter dot mud dot house. How do you
pronounce it, Shanta Shanter shon French? Is that? Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
They're tiles that look like wallpaper. I like the green,
I like the stone.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
The green. It's beige, but that's fine.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
The pink was horrid. Love heart bath. Let's have a
look at what at the tile again?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
That's green, my guys, beige, but that's okay. Is it
beij in real life Beijian bone Beijing. It's a dark beige.
I like it. I don't. It doesn't matter what. One
of the comments that we had was from someone they said,
you couldn't pay me to shit in that bathroom. And
I wrote back and I was like, just just double checking.
(19:10):
Do you like the bathroom? I'm not Are you not
sitting because it's so nice? I'm not quite sure that's
that's a good gear. Lots of opini. Did you chuckle?
You must have chuckled it that. I mean, do you
know you work pretty hard on It's been a long,
arduous journey to get this house finished almost there, and
(19:31):
for someone to say that, look, I was okay, Laura
nothing It got to her bit she got pretty angry.
She was like, I don't know exactly what she said,
but to one comment, she was like, how would you
feel if I said that your brick house was fucking
beije and boring? And I was like, oh, Laura, don't
do that. Just delete that work the house, the house,
(19:53):
isn't it feeling? Then people were like, you know, but
who asked? Because I did say in the video, I'm like,
let me know what you think.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
It has seven hundred and forty all comments on that, Yeah,
that is outrage. Can I just have a quick squizzy
at the top ones of the comments. Please, let's not
my style, but I really appreciate it. Looks fun and
very expensive.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Wow, that's my mum.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Love it ten out of ten. I guess who's backing?
Friend of mine Katie Lee is one of my friends. Oh,
she's up there, says gorgeous. Guys, looks stunning.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Lucky. Imagine if she was the one who was like
and fisticus with Laura.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You'd be ripped to pieces by Shana Blade from the block.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I did want to manage Shana and say, say, what's
your opinion, But the only opinion I really care about
is your opinion. Ash. So, someone who was a former
trading pink was horrible.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Okay, so I'm glad you've moved on from that. You
wouldn't need to pay me a.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Shue in it. I quite like it. Beige green, dark
GREENI beige. I like the tiles, I like you, I
like the I appreciate that. That's okay. We've had lots
of great feedback. That bathroom was the first situation where
people were starting to turn on us.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I don't know why people get so worked up over
a bathroom renovation, especially those people who are like.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
You've ruined the integrity of the house. Good luck with
the retail. Good luck with the retail much more. And
I was like, you have to pry the keys out
of my cold dead hands. This is for you and
your family to enjoy. People can get someone a lot
of money for the house. You wouldn't be able to
pay me to shue in there.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's like you should invite that guy over, give me
a shit load of laxities, and then lock the fucking
bathery door. There you go.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
You've got to pay me. Fuck It's been a rollercoaster
of emotions, Ash.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I've been doing a lot of work on myself. As
we spoke about with.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
H once again, you should be commended, thank you, and
I do need it.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
But with that becomes a lot of flashbacks, a lot
of memories, and we have the memory about the quantus,
which I've never fully recovered. I actually went to an
art gallery with a guy who sat next to me
in that exact classroom where that happened. But that's not
the story. The story is that I went to a
(22:04):
gallery which very out of the ordinary for me, but
local artist was having an opening and I thought I'll
be doing the right thing, and I'll go you've.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Changed, thank you, I've changed in like a week. That's great.
That's what I could do with a decent amount of time.
I went to the theater. I went to the theater
with we watched some ballet. Gallery afterwards.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
I actually went to a night girl and they got
you faced afterwards, So it doesn't matter they had they
had a margarita bar. But it got me thinking about
galleries and the last time I was at a gallery,
which happened to me when I was a child. My
dad used to be a sales rep. We lived in
Sydney at the time. He was all about networking because
(22:44):
there was no social media. It was about going out
a meeting people. He got one of his friends that
he worked with. Their partner was an artist, and invited
all of us to this gallery. Mind you, two kids, mom, dad,
four of us.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
You all went. We all went. It was like a weekend. Well,
I was probably more like we brought kids to an
art gallery. I didn't bring kids.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
My dad brang the kids because I don't think they
I think we were too young to just leave us
and they probably didn't have anyone to look after us.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
So we all went. It was Sorry. I'm so sorry.
I thought you're talking about when you went to the gallery.
This is when you were a kid. Are you not
listening to my I was not listening. I'll be honest, Well,
listen to shoe on the other foot. I'm usually I'm
the one who can't listen. Sorry, let me start again.
Then I can't keep up with him now that you're
on medications.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Sorry, I told you my brain power today is unbelievable.
I Telly potted here, exhausted, like I need to go
to Matt's house. I'm here, mom, dad, me and my sister.
How old I would have been, maybe like eight or nine? Great,
my sister's a little bit older than me, like same
age as you, thirty forty five and.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Giggled myself. Sorry, I just couldn't help yourself. I couldn't
help myself. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. And anyway,
so we went to this gallery on a weekend.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
It was what I recall, it was beautiful, but in
the middle of this gallery, in the middle of Surrey.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Hills, and we know what Surry Hills like, it's quite
a fancy who say fancy? I don't know a niche suburb.
Let's say it's a niche suburb. There's a lot party.
Thank you, you said, let me go after him, not me,
and we all went that.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
There was a centerpiece, okay, and it was I remember
it was like glass, dish looking things stacked up nicely,
similar color to that light actually.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Green for thoseg.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
And next to it was a book that you would
write your thoughts on the piece. It was like the
main centerpiece for the whole gallery, like.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
When you check out. It was the centerpiece to the
whole event. Who the fuck is writing in books? Being
like the art was great?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Well, I'll tell you was mister Wayne Wicks, who happened
to be my father. And I am at this point,
I'm out the front of the gallery with my sister,
real fucking bored as you would be as kids, and
I hear a commotion followed by a lot of glass smashing.
What's happened is my dad was writing in the book
and he had his sleeve rolled up to hear he
(25:23):
was writing in the book, and his sleeve brushed one
of the glass pieces of the centerpiece of art, and
I didn't know it was dad at this time. It
has smashed all over the polished concrete floor everywhere, and
I looked at my sister and I was like, I
hope that's not Dad. And I've walked in and I've
(25:46):
never seen this look on my father's face, and I'll
never forget it. It is burned in my brain. I
remember he was holding his hand like this because he
was so embarrassed about it.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Like this.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
The place was fucking sil You could hear a pin drop.
There's glass all over the floor. My dad's face is
bright red and he's sitting there like the remember this specifically,
and he was just he was just like a hand
over the other hand, like.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
He's shaking his own hand again, like what have I done?
What have I done? Ninety thousand dollars this thing? Ninety thousand,
ninety thousand, that's how much it was to buy it.
Oh my fucking god.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It is dead silent in this gallery, Like I said, drop.
Thankfully Dad knew the partner of the artist and it
happened to be on that day a replica, but we
didn't know that at first. We didn't know going into it.
(26:51):
He thinks off uk and my mom's like off fuck,
and we're all like, holy shit, that's what it was
like anyway, So thankfully they were like after the commotion
and clean up and we we pretty much had to leave,
like you can't sit there and Harry. And the worst
(27:12):
part about it was because we we weren't a well
off family, we we took that that invited a day
for maybe a day in the city with the family
asked for we had a The worst part about it
is we had a lunch booked the four of us
to go to a really old traditional Italian restaurant that
(27:34):
was you know it was. It was a chaotic sort
of style restaurant. Anyway, I remember we all went and.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Not a fucking word was spoken. And did your dad
write in the book at the end or I think
he didn't get to finish what he was writing. I
really loved the piece.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Sorry about the mess, which it wasn't made out of glass,
But I remember sitting at this restaurant completely silent for
what felt like a life time, and then having drive
it all the way back to all the beaches, and
it's safe to say both my dad and I had
not This is the first time I've been back in an.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Art gallery and that was twenty something. Did you break
anything out of principle. Yes.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I was talking to the director of the gallery, like
just in conversation, and I told her the story and
she said to me, you need to close the circle.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
It's like, what what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Do you want to You want me to smash something up?
But she's no, no, no, just don't smash anything up.
And when you finish, you leave without making a man.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
He's just walking around holding your hands closed it so
but the guy I was with Cam was like, look
at this artwork. I don't look at it. My fault.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Anyway, they had a margarita bar, so that really took
the edge off. And then I smashed up everything and
I left and.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I left without smashing anything.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
But I did find myself like having one of those
moments where I was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Has this circle been closed? Yeah? Wait, that was the
most unsure. Yeah, it's like, did you fucking break anything? On? Well,
the circle's close circles class? Did you break the circle?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
I did take a way up against the fans out
of the bag when I left, as long as no
art was damaged in the process.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, that was duck. So I'm not sure an all good,
well done, Thank you? Have you seen what chapel Ron
has said about parents. No, for anyone who is not familiar,
we're going to play it for you now and ash
it'll refresh our memories. This is what chapel has said
about parents slash kids. All of my friends who have
kids are in health.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I actually don't know anyone who's like happy and has
children at this age.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Anyone who has like light in their eyes, anyone who.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Has who has slept? Do they think this is all wild?
Like how famous you are and like all of it.
When they see articles about you orre they like calling
you up and be like Kaylie, what the fuck? Or
are they just like this is your life, bitch like
Texas when you want to come over.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Yeah, Like they're just like their mothers, Like they're fucking
busy and they have jobs in life.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Like I am just their friend, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Like they are so sweet and so supportive and come
out to shows and like they have to get fucking
babysitters to come to my show.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
First of all, she's shout on all her friends because
they have to get babysitters to come to shows.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
They're in hell. That's your idea of hell. It's probably
not their idea of hell. Okay, firstly, that's my first point.
And then she was like, but then they text me
and love and support me and all this sort of stuff,
Well why don't you instead of shitting on your fucking mates.
But like, they've made choices. Okay, it's not my choice
for now. They're probably happy, but don't say they're in
fucking hell.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I think it's pretty hard though, though, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
It is hard, and it's it's my hell, it's not
her hell, you know what I mean. So we can
agree with that, can be there's moments that it's in hell,
but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I'm not going to sit here and say, Okay, I've
got two kids, I'm in hell all the fucking time.
And some people struggle, right, have real fucking struggles and
might feel like they're in hell. But they made a
choice to be parents right in most instances, And then
said they're really supportive of me. Return the favor maybe,
and then you know, I would. I guarantee her fucking
(31:04):
friends aren't that supportive if she's talking about them like that.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
But is she wrong though she talks about the fact
that it's parenting's really hard it is hard, and they don't.
Her friends look like they don't. They're not happy, they're
not having sleep. So is she wrong? Is she wrong
to point out that, like, hey, parenting from my perspective
looks pretty shit.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Yeah, it's fine to have that opinion. Fine to have
that opinion, and but be like, hey, look, you know
you can't just say they're in hell.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
And every parent knows it's hard. But literally, my child could.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Turn around and smile at me and it completely wipes
that off the fucking face of the planet. I can't
sit here and go they're in hell, because the hell
is the worst place you can end up, always, forever, infinite.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I look at it this way, and I think, on
the one hand, yeah, parenting is really hard, but I
think it is why parents have been offended by it
is because it's like having a job, right, give a job.
It's really really hard. You know, you're working nine to
five long hours, you're underpaid, and then for someone else
external to your situation to look in and point at
(32:08):
you and go, your life looks fucking awful. It looks
it's like kick a man while he's down. That's it.
I think one thing that she's really forgotten to include reality.
Fuck now is the fact that, hey, look, we're not
going to sit here and say that parenting is amazing,
because you know, anyone who's listening to the podcast knows
(32:29):
that we talk about the fact that it is really
bloody hard a lot of the time. But I think
what makes parenting worthwhile is those moments where you do
get that little connection the affection from your kids. And
it's not all the time. It's only, like, you know,
ten to fifteen twenty percent of the time, but that
entirely outweighs all of the bad parts of parenting.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Sure, you can have the worst day on the fucking planet,
with or without your kids, right and you can get
home and little Macy comes and gives me a cuddle
with no stream is attached to it whatsoever, just and
then nuzzle it head up against me, and that whatever
has happened that day is forgotten about completely. It's not
(33:09):
I don't live in infinite hell, because that's what that is.
You have those moments and every parent will tell you
you be like, fuck, my kid pissed me off so
much yesterday and then he drew a picture and it
was like super sick, and it was like that completely
fucking changed everything, Like expect to not cop any flak
from someone like me, Like, I won't comment on that
on it because I don't need the fucking reoccurring notifications.
(33:33):
I will say what I need to be said now,
and then that's it. If one of my mates turned
around and said to me and said, well, I just
live in hell all the time, I'd say, you need
to go and fucking seek some help, because it's not.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
It's not all hell, it's not infinite. I love it
when you get passionate. Sorry, no, that's nice. I think
I'm on to no illusion that parenting is not for everybody.
There's there's lots of friends of mine who don't have kids.
Some of them come into town and I'm like, let's
meet up and they're like, great, where do you want
to meet And I'm like, well, there's there's the kids
end of Bondai Beach, which you know, I could meet
(34:04):
you down there in like an hour with Marley and Lola.
And they're like, oh, couldn't eat anything worse, And that's
totally fine. Not everyone, like, not everyone likes my bathroom,
but not everyone's gonna like my situation. It doesn't surprise
me that people look at parenting and go that looks
absolutely horrendous and there's no way I'd want to do that.
And I'm like, that's fine. I just hope that anyone
who was on the fence of potentially having kids is
(34:26):
like not looking at those comments and being like, wow,
I don't really want to have kids because for the record,
printing is hard, but it's also the most amazing, life changing,
most so rewarding, ful filling time of my life.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah, like at the moment because at Oscar school, it's
like a long track to get there, and like go
and pick him, going to pick him up in an
afternoon and watching him, you know, walk up independently on
his own. There's something that that gives me that nothing
else in the world will ever give me. And it's
such a combination of pride and and just fulfillment, Like
(35:03):
there's some there is something there that than nothing else
in the world will give me. I agree, and non
parents won't understand that. But you don't have to understand it.
If it's not for you.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
It's not for you, that's fine, but fucking keep it
to yourself. But I will lose a bit of sleep
to have those feelings for sure, Ash, it is now
time for parenting lies. Tell me loud, tell me little
lived Ash. This one is from Kate and she says
we convinced our kids that the WiFi ruder is actually
(35:34):
a pet and if they leave the room for too long,
it gets lonely and stops working. The Wi Fi routerer?
What why is it a pet? Yeah? I mean I
don't want to Kate. I don't want to call you
out here, but like, do you want to encourage your
kids to go outside? Okay? I did. I just thought
it was a sleep at the time. I didn't want
to bring it up. R router, it's a Wi Fi router. Well,
(35:57):
there's no need to yell ruter. Well. I regret picking
this lie A because I said it wrong and B
because I don't know why Kate I did think it
was strange.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
So she wants the kids to stay inside with it. Yeah,
I'm confused. They're inside kids and outside this harm.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Maybe they live in a war zone, Let's move on.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Maybe they live in a national park and they could
be wild animals outside.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
We don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
This one's from Rebecca. When my kids refuse to leave somewhere.
I tell them mosquitoes are coming out. If they still
don't move, I slap my legs and say, mosquitos are
biding me.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
That's very good. That's good because my kids hate mosquitoes.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I can just see Kate going, We've got to stay
home because if you go outside, this mosquito.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
That is genius. At the back of our garden here
we got a lot of mozzies and the kids hate it.
If they get bitten by mossie, it's like they've lost
a limb.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
It's not it's weird that what what areas they're attracted to?
It's not very swampy out there at all. When I
lived in Tweet, we lived above with it on a hill.
That below was like the road went through a swamp.
Pretty much. It was always where it was mossy fucking heaven.
But thankfully they don't like me. So my sister, the
(37:13):
poor thing got attacked. She got attacked on a rag.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
And this is from Annabelle. She says that brushing your
teeth will cure you're sore tummy. Clever, clever, clever. What
if the kids don't have a saw tummy? Though? She's
we got it, we tricked it, we got it.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
It's funny like Oscar and I don't know if your
kids do this too, where they'll go.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
He's like, oh my Tommy saw no, I don't get that.
I get that.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
He's like, I want to eat it. I want to
eat it. But at the moment my Tommy saw no,
he's just trying to trick me. Ship Okay, last one
from me from Diane.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
A lot of.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Consistent regular names this week, great names. Last week we
had some mascua names like crystal shitry was it down?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Remember like that that shrewdy? I don't know anyway, Diane.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
My mother in law convinced my husband that he was
allergic to fizzy drinks.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
He believed until he was fifteen. Do you know what
I believed until I was like, I still kind of
believe it. Now you're allergic to hey know that? Do
you know when you remember grade one? My neighbor told
me this lie right, you know when you go and
you're like you're pushing out a pool and make yourself
go really red. Oh yeah yeah yeah. They said if
you do that, your brain will drop through your mouth,
(38:32):
like into your mouth, yeah, like your brain will get
dislodged and like fall into your mouth, and so growing up,
I could never do that. I could never make myself
go red because of my neighbor one time told me
that Lie, it's like you're the roof of your mouth.
It's like not existence it down. Then there you go.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Before we go into questions, Matt, if any parents out
there have any lies that they tell their kids, or
we're told, or any many generations ago, I don't mind,
because look at Elie. She's coming out with all the goods.
You can email us.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Hello too, don't Dad's or you can go to Instagram, dads,
dms or Facebook time for questions as I've got one here.
There's actually one that I've wondered myself. This is off
the back of Marley. I think maybe a kid at
school lost a tooth and Marley's pumped she lost her too,
not yet, but she's like, I think this one's wobbling,
(39:24):
and I'm like, is it? And she's like, maybe she
is ready, she is wobbling all the teeth. But I
was wondering what is standard practice for tooth fairy visits?
Like what are we giving these days? What do the
kids want? What do they need? What do they deserve.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
We haven't had the conversation about tooth fairries yet, and
I'm trying to remember when.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
What did you get as a kid. I don't think
we did anything like that. What well?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Come from a childhood where we didn't celebrate Halloween, Christmas, Easter.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
No tooth fairy, no tooth fairy. But I can recall
what you were robbed of a childhood. Yeah, if you
lost the two, that's what would happen. I think I'd
just give them to mum and dad. I don't know
what they did with them, and you've got nothing in return. No, okay, interesting,
not to bring up more childhood trauma. Let's let's do it.
This is revealing a lot. I used to get a dollar.
(40:14):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
There's this day and age. Probably not inflation, Yeah, this
age pathetic. The twoth faiies not immune to inflation, my guy.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
But I'm wondering what is what is standard practice? So
I put the call out to the Facebook group. Okay,
because you know, will you do anything for Oscar Macic
when they lose a tooth or will you follow the
So yeah, very much love that. We will definitely do something.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Because April loves that sort of stuff, so I don't
see why we wouldn't, but I wouldn't know how much
to give them, So.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
This is very helpful. Well, actually put the call out
there to the Facebook group and they've given us a
few responses. Actually, this is from Joe. She says, shiny
coins always Sometimes the fairy has a quiet night, so
that's the reason some kids at school get more. Busy
nights mean more kids to spread the total amount between.
So there's just like a total kiddy. Yeah, so if
she's in it's a busy night, you may get thirty cents.
(41:00):
Would you withhold your tooth?
Speaker 2 (41:01):
You wouldn't know, it would be frustrating when yes, it's
roll of the Essentially, what's happening there, they're introducing gambling.
It's gambling gambling for kids. This is from Shads. We
put it in a drawstring bag on the bedside table.
For the tooth Fairy. We did ten bucks the first tooth,
along with a note saying the tooth Fairy only takes nice, clean,
(41:26):
well brushed teeth. After that it was five dollars or two.
I love the brushed clean to think ten bucks.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
That's a lot. That's a lot. One person wrote and said,
five dollars a standard practice. I think five is a
nice amount ash if this makes sense. So you put
the tooth in a glass cup next to the bed, right.
Then you make sure you have an identical cup to
the one that the tooth is in. Okay, okay, so
like your glass wear, make sure it's all consistent. Yeah,
(41:57):
my house'll be fucked. Then get the other cup, ad glitter,
coins and even food die if you like. And so
when they're a sleepy to a quick switch far out.
People really going and we're going hard. If the kid
knocks the glass and you've got fucking glass. And if
they knocked the glass, get up, we step on the glass.
It could be a whole thing. And then they cut
(42:18):
an artery. Imagine that.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
And the foot artery is very well known. Kids bleeding
out minutes minutes. The tooth fairy, like my plan, set
an alarm in capitals.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Have no need to yell.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
One time the tooth Fairy did a no show, fell
asleep on the job, and had to write a letter
of apology to my son. Apparently it was too windy
for the tooth Fairy on that particular.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
She hates high wind that's a known fact. These are good.
I like it. Last one is oh god, no Jessemine.
Did we have a Jesmine last time? Same Jessemine min An.
I'll be backing them in sounds. Made up all these names. Guys.
She said, this is really this is your this is
your type of parenting. I was drunk on Melbourne Cup
(43:05):
Day and gave my daughter twenty bucks for a first tooth.
Love that. I love how that twenty dollars were coming
about too.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Would have been like at the end of the day,
daddy loves the tooth.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Treat yourself. He's twenty bucks to get your old men
and beer. Very good. I like that. Look normally we
have two questions. We have run out of time. That's
my fault. I think takes medication won't shut them up.
Bloody hell yeah, you're in for one. Thank you as
always a pleasure. Thoroughly enjoyed this episode with you. And
if you've enjoyed this episode, you can give us some
(43:41):
You can give us a reviewack yeah comments. Have a
podcast Spotify wherever you listen to this podcast. We want
to hear your thoughts or on social media. Two doting dads.
Let's not forget ash you're wearing one right now. The
smelly Nappy Tea. We have a few left. They look fantastic.
It's nice, it's nelly like. Could also be like a
run club team. Yes, it's running down, So if you
(44:08):
want to pick up a shirt, there's a few laft.
Two Doting Dads dot Com forty five bucks. A bit
of shipping, yeah, a bit of shipping, and Ashley got
to get out of here. We should do goodbye bye. Yeah.
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
(44:31):
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
people's today.
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