May 13, 2025 • 47 mins
Is it just me, or am I hurtling towards middle age?
Ash is all backed up this week and scares Macy in the process. He also recalls #1002 of his not-so-fantastic moments that involved seeing a friend for the first time since she fell pregnant.
Matty J takes little Marlie-Mae for a bike ride around town and shows her how easily it is to fall into the trap of a miscommunication...
Plus, we let you Par-RANT, a segment where Matty J and Ash listen to your parent rants.
We also answer your questions:
- How do you introduce your children to their new sibling?
- What's the lamest injury you've ever received?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Got some exciting news.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
All good.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
You know those coffees that we ordered and they spilt?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
He done it again.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
I guess they got him for free victories.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Else can they reheat mart? It's cole.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I hope that doesn't go back to the delivery driver.
And for the record, they were spilt. It was a
quarter or less left.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It was like not even a small spill. It was
a puddle of coffee. How did he make he nearly
didn't make it here with that paper back? How did that?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Did he say anything to you when he handed over
the delivery? Yeah, he was like a quick welcome back
(00:49):
to two doing dads. I happened to be Maddie Jay
and I happened to be Ash and this happens to
be a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It is the good, it is the bad.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
And if you come for advice, just like, for the
love of God, stop for.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
One hundred and forty second time, we do not give advice.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I don't know how many times do need to keep
saying this.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I people were probably like, is this what's happened? Is
this legal matter for real? Yes?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It is very serious. We can't take it on a
scandal nokes out of the way.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
This morning, I spooked Macie accidentally. I didn't line her
up to spooker like I usually do.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I mean, do you see me scare Laura?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Oh yeah, I did see that.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Was it like that?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No, this was accidental.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
For the record, got a lot of hate for scaring
my pregnant wife. She was fine, she pissed herself, but.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh my god. Yeah, I can imagine like people be
like features.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Venis was probably like, what's going on like that?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I remember when I worked in the timber once we
had a possum in the roof and it got spooked
so hard once so that had a miss.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Character spat out, what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I don't know. It was like a fetus.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Don't tell me that. Sorry, stops scaring my wife.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Nah, you're right, she's a human. It's not possible. Don't know. Okay,
So I spooked to Macy this morning, but it was
a complete and utter accident. April had to take off
to do a meeting. So I was with Macy this
morning for an hour before I had to come here,
and I was like, okay, I need to I wasn't
ready for the day at all, so I needed to shit.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And as you how do you say ships leave my body?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes, aggressively, I would say, with a big, big, strong push. Anyway,
I did that, and then I went into the shower,
but I left the door open because Macy was just
in the lounge room. I just wanted her to be
able to access me if she needed anything.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Because it is good parenting.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, unless she walks in
and slips over and it's bad parenting.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
But she wait, was a toilet door open. She was like,
what's that smell?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Nah? Nah, she's used to it, she used to it.
How whole house things doesn't matter. And I'm in the
shower as we go, and I stupidly put the the
smoke detector in the hallway outside of the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
You've done this, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
And all of and I didn't know, and all of
a sudden, the smoke alarm's gone off and I'm like, he's.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Having a steamy one.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, And I was like, oh fuck, that's going to
scare the ship out of Macy. And I like, come,
I like turn the shower off and go out of
the shower to like wave a towel in front of it.
And by the time I come out of Macey's just
like running up, ll do what is that? Just like
(03:40):
fully spooked and I was just like smoke alarm. It
was just like it's just going and she was like
started to just get real real, what was your dog doing? Oh?
She was hiding in the corner. She hates it too.
If Oscar was there would have been a whole debarcle
because he's we've got him before with it, and he's
(04:01):
just like he like will walk past the smoke protectors
and be like, there it is. Don't you go off?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Anyway, she's every time he goes to bed, I'm watching.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, she's frantic in the hallway. I'm button aked in
the hallway, waving my towel. My junk's probably flopping up.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
He didn't have the trade's on the roof next door
again it's.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Too wet for that, and I'm flopping around.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I'm waving amaze.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
She's getting real worked up. And then it just stops
and we both stopped and little other she was like
she just looked at me and goes.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
He just walks off.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And I was like a second ago, you were like
the house is burning down?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Question? Yeah, does she ever look at your dick and dah,
like what's that?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Like?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Are you how how.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
It's more of like whoa. It's funny because she April,
I mean April loves it. Mazie. She every morning she
showers with ab when she gets home from the gym,
was like I want to come and like gets in
And then I had a shower the day and she
(05:09):
came in and I was like her head is like
perfect cock and ball heigh and I was like, okay,
get out.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
This is you're too old for this. Now there is
high risk.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, this is high risk. And it was like it
was Oscar. It's fine because he's like watch me. We
and then you know, boys are very different.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
But I'll never experience that.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Well do you do, I'll let you shower with Oscar.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah she never really. I don't think she's about that. Yeah,
yeah we can, she.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Does say, she did say. And it was really really
funny her in O school, we're in a hammock up
up when we're on the Gold Coast. My friend's gonna
have it on the back and then they were in
it together facing each other and like the feet were
both out and Mazie goes, stop it. You're kicking me
in the nuts.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I was like, that is not right. Yes, I
don't want to dob in which relative this is one
of my nieces. I don't have that many, but she
was ever recently looking after her and shat isn't it?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
And I was in the toilet and the door was
kind of half a jar, and she was like just
hands on the door and yeah, peeking in. And I
was like, go on, I get shouts, come on in, breadon.
So I was I was like, get out of here,
come on, you don't want to see that. She was
(06:32):
like can I see it? And I was like no,
and I was like no, you you know that's my
private part. So I had to express it's.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Like not that you go, I want to see the
ship you just dropped off ash.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
But if you ever had another child and terrible, sorry,
this is this is Let's let's move on. Let's move
right along.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Let's move a question for you actually, because school has
gone back.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's term two, and our term two for our kids
is the term two of their whole life. It's the
first time has Marley received any assignments? Yeah, okay, at the.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Moment, she's really it's hard to get information from her.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Okay, I always go, what'd you learn?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
She's she and also I picked her up and her teacher,
who's so great, she's lovely. She was like, just a
reminder that the task for this week is Then she
explained the task and I was kind of in the
like I was parked in a bad spot. That's another story.
We're going to that later in the episode. But I
had to just I wanted to grab and go, and
(07:46):
she explained to me what I had to do and
by when and I got in the car and I
was like.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Fuck, crap. School's the losers driver.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So she has have homework. I think she has to
write a story or no, she has to draw a
picture of an animal.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
That's as much as I know. Could start well then,
but then just quickly, when I dropped her off this morning,
she was like, where's my picture? And I was like
what picture? She's like, the picture of the animal. She
did it with Laura, and I was like, why are
you asking me? It's your assignment and she's like, did
you put it in my bag? And I was like,
I don't know, probably not, you definitely didn't. It's fun.
(08:26):
These kids are a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's attached to the fridge over there. Well, what have
you got? Oscar had an oral presentation to do. Okay, yes,
like a speech. Yeah, and it was due the first
week of term, the first day back, pretty.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Much first day back. She had to do it with
the holiday.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah. But we didn't know this until like a couple
of days out, when April was going through the bag
again to make sure that there's a hat in there
jumping was his lunchbox on the bag or no, no,
that's my that's my bag From when I was a kid,
I did that all the time. My mom hated it.
She's like, oh, Oscar's got an oral presentation to do,
and it was sort of like on a subject of
(09:08):
their choice. It's for a minute long a minute, but
I know your school's crazy. What is this Cambridge? Fuck me? Anyway,
my five year old goes to Harvard and it was like, oh,
you can have it on whatever. And we agreed that
it would be on the Manly Seaquels.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
So Oscar gave, We agreed, I agreed, enforced.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I enforced it not only because we happen to be
collecting the NRL cards, the trading cards.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Oscar loves it again we meet. What do you collect
them from getting.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
From the post office? Great? Okay, yeah, I've got a dealer.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Just quickly, what's a packet worth four bucks? It's very reasonable? Yeah,
it's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, considering Pokemon's like fifteen bucks at the moment Bloody Markets.
When we were having a conversation, he had the manly
ones all his favorite players up, so he's like, I
want to talk about my favorite player anyway. We were like, okay, whatever,
you know, take take the card because they're allowed to
have visual aids and anyway. So first day, drop him
off and then we completely forgot about it, like a
(10:19):
I don't know. And then I think close to bedtime
we were like, did you do your oral presentation today?
He's like yeah. I was like, oh, how did it go?
And he was like yeah, yeah good. Kyle likes the Tigers.
And I was like, who's who's talking about? Like you
want to be talking about? You was like yeah, yeah,
me and Kyle Lewis did it ourselves, like together, And
I was like, was it a joint? No, they just
(10:43):
I think they were just a bit scared to get
up alone.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
What did he practice it?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Not with me? Didn't because I was like, you're good.
Like I was like, you're good with these set these
cards and you're ut dural and was like, yeah, I'm
just going to talk about each and every player and like,
to be honest, he can pick them all out right,
and I'm like, you know, you got to make it
last like a minute. It's a long time. He was like,
how long is a minute? I'm like, oh god. And
then I was like after it was all said and done,
(11:07):
and like he obviously lost the trading cars because kids
are kids and they take him out of it. I
was like, don't take him out of the bag other
than it's for the speech, and he was like, I
don't know where they are anyway. At the end of it,
I was like, it's a bit isn't it a bit
young to be doing like an aural assign one hundred?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I think, yeah. I mean, I'm not a teacher, I think,
but that's child abuse.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Dude, That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
I'm questioning that the ethics of your school.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Well, maybe they just want to give them some confidence.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, but am I. It's like, do you want your
kid to swim? Yeah, you're not going to throw them
in the fucking ocean are you about. I'm going to
put him in the kidde pool first. Whereas with Oscar,
it's like and his students in his class.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Well, I think they're probably like, maybe like the minute
was like that no longer than a minute. Maybe that
was I didn't really read the thing because I'm me,
I never read anything. Uh, maybe it was like you
can't go over a minute, and they were like, just
come in and show. Maybe it was like a show
and te.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Maybe it was showing to we're talking this an oral presentation,
but on the thing is an oral presentation, and I
was just showing.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
That's how it gros. But yeah, I was like, this
is way too young. But like we have been given
homework and stuff over the course of term wine and
forgotten to do pretty much all.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, we're at the homework stage and it's really it's
really hard. What was struggled with Nash is she's in
the after school care until I quarter to five, when
I pick her up, get home, she's tired, we have dinner,
good in bed. It's there's no time for the homework.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
No, there is no time for not that age, no way,
I don't remember having homework at that age.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
And after dinner, I'm like, do you want to read
this book? And she's like, ah, like I've had I've
had a heck of a day fuck off literally. So
it's but the thing that's really the thing that I'm
finding really difficult at the moment, very frustrating, is the
fact that we talked about school uniforms, talked about the
(13:13):
cost that we're currently incurring, and she's just losing jumper
after jumper after jumper. It's a jumper massacret.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, Oscar for some reason, refuses to wear his jumper.
Like those kids it's not cool enough. He's not.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
There's always that kid who doesn't matter how cold it got,
they never wore a jumper.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
He's one of them. Yeah, he's one of those kids.
He's not cold blooded, that's for sure. He's definitely warm blooded,
like he doesn't need it.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But he's like a guy could in. He came from Melbourne,
which made a lot of sense. He never wore a jumper.
Ian Yeah, Ian in my school. Oh, he was just
like the one kid he doesn't wear a jumper. Yeah,
that's an Oscar.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, I don't know, because he's like if we're riding
the bike down. It's cold. You gotta wear it on
the bike. And he's like, God, I'm not asking you
that old world hunger.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Dude, You're blessed having a Chilotte doesn't wear a jumper.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
One less thing to lose.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
It's a miracle.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Did you get that hat? Bat?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Which hat?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Didn't she lose a hat?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
She's lost three hats.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
We keep gaining.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Hats, dude, Send and oscar this way, just like a
mate's just picking up Marley. Even she came home without
her jumper, but her cousin's jumper, which is like three
sizes too big. So I was like, call my sister.
I'm like, somehow Marley's got your daughter's jumper. And so
now I sent her to school two jumpers.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
She came back with three.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
She came back with none, and I was like, where
are your jumpers? And she's like, what are you talking?
You're like close and so close, and I'm like, how
where do you put your jumpers when you take them off?
And she's like I don't know. And then and I
was like, listen, listen, jumpers are really expensive when you
take it off, and I need you to put it
into your bag. And then she was like, would you
(14:54):
just stop harassing me about the jumpers? This is bullying
and she starts.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Crying and I'm like, oh ah, raw, It's funny when
they did that, you know the Easter hat parade, but
before that, they make the Easter hats. So did you
guys do that at school? So you had to provide
what you wanted to decorate it with, but they did
at school. So the instructions were from the school is
buy the decorations, give them to the kid. The kid
brings them in and they stay in there like pigeon
(15:19):
hole until it's time. Okay, oscar no dramas. Lenny Mike's
kid seemed to be a drama. They sent him to
school with the decorations, and every day he'd come home
with them again, and I'd be at the top of
the I'd be at the top of the school path
with Sana, Lenny's mom, and she'd be like, I wonder
(15:42):
if he's going to bring them back, and then you
see all the kids running up and then you just
see the Wooli's bag. She was like, I thought I
told you to leave them there, and he's like I did.
It's like, why do you have them, He's like, and
then Oscar's like, I told him to leave him as well.
And this went on for the two weeks leading up
(16:02):
to every single day. By the time it got to
like the last before the hat parade, they had to
actually do it. The Wooli's bag was so tactic. It's
just like it had literally gone like five thousand miles
up and down the school track into the Cabby hole,
out of the Coby hole, back home with him.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
You just give up, wouldn't you, like, just don't like,
don't give him to him anymore until like the last day, when.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, I think that's what ended up happening, and I
would just like, oh fuck it. I was putting his
bag on the day of, but it was it was
two weeks. I remember every time I was at the
top and I'm like, here he comes so funny, like
he's just been shopping.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Hey, I've implemented something which I don't want to say
is great parenting, but so far it's working. Wonders go on.
We had an issue at home, the fact that our
kids love getting out of bed in the middle of
the night, always around midnight one o'clock, come into our
bed and lately, we've had Lola, we've had Marley, and
(17:01):
we're just like, this is it's getting too much like
she'd be Laura and she's pregnant. I have a pregnant
wife right now and the kids have no regard for
that pregnancy. They couldn't give a ship. And so what
do we do here? We need to get these kids
out of the bed.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Can I say, please, you don't have a very big bed.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
It's not a big bed.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Get a king.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
It's a single.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Get a king. We just stack o. It's just a double.
I can't.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
We're fitting there. Bro Also, that's an expensive mattress.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Make it fit.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I'm not made of money.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
An influence. I just influence your way into one. It's
not that easy.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
What so we were, You'll have it.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
You'll have a new bed by the end of this episode.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
So we have a rule. Now, the kids, it's not
sponsored love going to Yochi on a Friday after school.
Pick them up. Explain to me what yochi Isochi's just
frozen yogurt with topics you can get like Tella, you
get sprinkles, you get musk sticks.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Can I ask you a more scientific question? Absolutely is
frozen yogurt, just yogurt that's frozen. I believe so yes, okay, yeah,
I believe. So we love it. People love it. My
mom Nana hates it. So I could buy a tuber
yogurt freeze it myself and that would you get the
same result. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I've got some yochi here if you'd like some. Okay, Well,
kids love it. They're ubsessed and they it's like crack
for them and all the kids from school. They go
there on a Friday, so it's nice pick them up,
walk down there. So I was like, listen here, your
little fucker is right before they go to sleep, isn't he.
I was like, we're going to start on a Monday.
If you want to get yochi on a Friday.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Do they know what Monday is?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Kind of?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
It's like you just like I start today? Yeah? Like
how many sleeps?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
And I was like, you need to get five stars.
We're going to do a little chart. Five sleeps, five sleeps.
The only way for you to get a star is
by spending the whole night in your bed.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Love it? What do you? Oh? You got to people?
Here we go. Bowler is killing it.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, yeah, Lola's smashing it. She's doing really well. She
really wants she is due for a Yochi. Smiley faced
is today Yochi day? Today is are you on the
phone talking.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
About to Yochi about someone else? But now I have
a proper mash. You have another child that doesn't deserve.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Narlie's like, fuck the Yochi. Right during the week, I
would say to her, she would hop into bed and
I'd say, let me just remind you. You have the
option right now? Is it one in the morning. I'm like,
you can go back into your bed, and remember, if
you do that, you'll get a star. The star will
go towards the yogi. If you stay in this bed,
you will get no stars. No stars for you this evening?
What would you like it to be? And She's like,
fuck the Yochi.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Just let me come bed for She's weighed up the options.
She knows what she's going to get more value out of.
Smart Really, have you ever thought about this, please going
from the Yochi and saying, okay, if Yochi is not
what's going to get it for you have that we
just go all the way and go with ice cream
like gelato dude, the same thing.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
The yoach she lived. Tell you that the position of
the yochi is actually right next to and they prefer
the and they prefer the yochi. Yochi is it's hot
right now?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That's it. I'm investing.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
It is hot property.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Frozen yogurt. It's cyclical. Sorry, it's cyclical. What the is that?
Like the cycle of the moon, the cycle of the tides,
or the menstrual cycles.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I have been through many cycles of frozen yogurt. I
remember five years ago they were all shutting down and
then it just comes back every now they're back. I
don't know what's happened. I don't know who's controlling these
frozen yogurt markets. But frozen yogurt is back.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Cyclical, cyclical. When do you think it's going to go again?
Speaker 1 (20:39):
It's got I think two years in it and then
it's gone good three at the most.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I think.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But now the issue is ash Marley's only only had
as you can see two successful nights. Do they have
to be in a road?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Do you not start again? Well?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Because what do we do now? So I picked up
from school, Do I give her a yochi or or
do I say I'm sorry, you have to come with
me with Lola to get the yochi. You don't get
any yo chi, which will result in a tantrum, which
will she'll end up getting it, but then she doesn't
learn the lesson. Then all of a sudden, this is
what I would call a classic conundrum. Okay, Lola deserves it, obviously,
(21:17):
what would I do? Dig really deep, tell me, tell me.
I would give me an insight into how ash parents.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
First of all, I get a whiteboard for this, so I.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Didn't ask you to critique the system. I asked you
to just answer, if Marley is deserved.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It makes the system better, because which will help in
this situation because you would have rubbed that off the
board and you can be like, look you've got nune,
you know what I mean, and you can start again.
You can start fresh today, so next week. But now
you've got stickers involved on perishable paper. What I would do?
Speaker 1 (21:56):
So it's not sustainable, it's not sustainable. It's terrible thinking
about the clients.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Well you should be, is yochi? Thinking about the climate.
I would say you're in for a meltdown. That's one thing.
If you say no, and I would stick to your guns,
because if you stick to your guns, you can then
go right. We're going to cross Marley out here, put
her down. The next one is this meant to be
for the third child that's not here yet, Sleep in
(22:23):
your own bed, and he's yelling at Laura's tummy. Get
it right back then you can. Oh god, I'm a
silly boy. You cross that out and you go right, Marley,
you didn't get Yochi today because of this, Lola does.
But you've got a chance next week to redeem yourself
and get that Yochi. And you're just gonna have to
(22:43):
deal with a meltdown because you can't fold on that
because it's not a white board, just it's a classic
Friday RBO. Just push her out in the range. You'll
get over it. Why don't you do? Oh? Why don't
you get there? Because I always sneak the kids things
so the other one doesn't know. So like for example, if.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Because then if I sneak it it to Lola, then
she as soon as pick up Marlo, she'll be like, hey,
guess what you missed out on?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Yeah, they do, they do do that, But then I
just started calling them lies. He's lying. But it's more. Yeah,
you're in for a meltdown.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
The old star system a tailor as old as time.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
So another option could be which I do this sometimes, Yes,
is when like, for example, the kids are having dinner
and I'm like, okay, look if you eat all your dinner,
there's a treat at the end, right, similar concept, but
I always say it's one in all in, So if
Oscar eats all his dinner, no one gets anything until
(23:44):
Macy's eaten all of hers.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So they've got to like cheer each other on.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah, teamwork makes the dream work.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
So if Lola wakes up and sees Marley walking out
with the room in the middle of the night, she'll
grab her and be like, get the get back to
bed and don't even think about it.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
But that couldn't It might not work with this situation
because you don't want to argument in the middle of
the night, right, as.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Long as they argue in their room and no room,
that's fine.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, because it's like they.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Want to if they want to go at each other
fight wake up mys hog tied at the corner of
the room.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, so I would.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
There you go. Yeah, I do think about it.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
It wouldn't be ideal. If you had to walk into
that in the middle of the night, I would say
this this time, I would stand your ground.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Okay, well, I look forward to the kids having yo
chi tonight, both.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Of them extra, give them extra. Laura is pregnant. We
all know this. Now it's out there. We know the gender.
But we were talking about how I accidentally miss grandparented someone.
Remember refresh my memory. So I was at a park
with someone and I was like, is this your grandchild?
They're like, no, this is my child. Remember.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Can we just quickly for anyone who missed that episode?
She was an older parent.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
She looked like an older parent, and ash.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Ash went up to this mother and then spoke to
her in a way which I referred to her as
being the nana.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, and look what a disgusting I'm only human. It's
a bad way. But you asked me if I've accidentally
asked someone if they like accidentally assumed someone was pregnant. Yeah.
Now I didn't do that, but I did something that
I'm not proud of. And I was quite a younger
(25:35):
man in this situation. So I was like early twenties
and I was at a friend's house and he having
people over and well, you know, there's drinks and blah blah.
I was like, I was like a party. I am
familiar with the party. Okay, shut up, I'm trying to
(25:55):
paint a picture. Okay, make fun of me.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Little snacks. There were people, there was music.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
I just didn't want you to, okay, well, to be
anytime gathering.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
It's a gathering.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
It was a funeral. Actually anyway. A friend of a
friend came, you're very funny, thank you. A friend of
a friend came to a park. A friend of a
friend came to this party who I haven't seen in
a long time. And she walked in and she was
(26:27):
pregnant and I didn't know that, and yes, I'm gonna
regret this. I blurted out, whoa, you're huge.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Oh my god? How big was she?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Twins? Obviously huge, big pregnant girl.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
But I hadn't she just popped or you hadn't seen
her for a while.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I didn't even know she was pregnant. She was a
friend of a friend, but I knew her and I
she walked in.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Spit your drink out, I legit did. I was like,
but do you know what I would have said if
I saw her, well you look beautiful.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, come over here, take you shoes off.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Ah, anyway, are a foot guy?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Guilty?
Speaker 1 (27:22):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I I just blurted it out. I had no control
over the situation you have, add I felt horrible afterwards. Also,
her husband still a husband. He was a police officer,
and anyway, some time had passed, Like I'm talking months
(27:43):
had passed. Okay, I have been pulled over for a
random breath test and guess who it is? The husband? Wow,
And just in that moment, he happened to be breathalyzing
me and he was like, remember that time at blah
blah blah party and we walked fashion and I was like, no,
I don't know what you're talking about. Bro. It was
like I remember anyway, and then sent me and I
(28:04):
was just like, oh fuck. But I felt horrible about it.
And it was like one of those moments where you're
like fuck. And I haven't a lot because I blurs
shit out all the time, but this was a particularly
bad one. Do you know what. I spent the rest
of the party groveling to her as well, like some
sort of sad sack. I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Groveling over her feet.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I was like, I was like no. I just kept
saying things like you're not that big, and I was like,
can I get your drinks? She's like, you're pregnant. Win
this one, But I was, you know, do you think
I've ever been around a pregnant person that point?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I think when you look at a situation like this,
you have to look at the intent, and I think,
in a credit to you, you felt bad afterwards. There
was no intent to offend, and you know you, sometimes
good people make bad decisions.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I'm a person. Yes, Oh my god, when we snip
that up, just please to keep that for later on.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I think it's fine. Can I ask you just on
a side note, I know recently we spoke about the
fact that I find Laura attractive where April was pregnant
with Oscar and Macy. How did you view her? Um,
I didn't expect you to think about it.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I was trying to remember. I don't remember. I think.
I don't think I changed. I was like wow, walking
in the room, I was like, I just played this
music over and over time you walked do do do
do do do do do No. I don't think my
feelings changed about it at all. I would say that
(29:39):
I was the same level of attracting. There wasn't a
stage where I wasn't was like, you're unattractive.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Another question for you, did you go through a phase
whilst April was pregnant where she had a heightened sexual appetite.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Yeah, I would say it was slightly high.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I really thinking. I remember.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I remember there was one Austray Day long weekend April
was very pregnant, Go on Oscar on Macy. I think
it was Oscar. Yeah, because we wouldn't. We wouldn't have
left Macy or Oscar behind you go. Yeah, and it was.
It was a good trip because of the heightened libido
(30:22):
of my life at the time. Yeah. Actually, I do
recall that specifically that weekend, but I'm not gonna site
here be like she couldn't keep off, especially when I'm
saying things like wow, like explain to me. But yeah,
I would say my that my feelings and everything around
that time were at the same. I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I don't know if it's a real thing. People keep
messaging me being like, has Laura had that little that
little window where she gets super frisky And I was.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Like, yeah, No, I don't think we will it happened?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Is it coming?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
But pregnant? It's like people just dming new pictures of
their bellies now that I wish kidding? What about I
get like a little hairy snail. You've seen those, like
they're really pregnant ladies. And because it's.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Obviously I don't, I don't see that asht. What I
see is someone said in a comment, and I was like,
that's perfect. It's like an artist stepping back and admiring
their work. Yeah, it's like a builder, a builder looking
back at the Eiffel Tower. I mean, like I created that.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
You just step back, bring a level.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
It's blum perfect, It's blum. Anyway, I felt like I
needed to tell you that because it helps me close
the circle of my traumas to be able to talk
about how I fat chamed a pregnant lady accident.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I thought. I thought when you told me there was
a scenario with someone who was pregnant, I thought you
were going to tell me that. You were like, when's
the June And she's like when you No, thank God,
have you done that?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
No? Thank Heaven, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So you are a good guy.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Deep deep, deep down, Matt, should we go into parents. Yes,
it's time for paraunt. I said it like you did,
parahant pah.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
We do have to apologize for the fact that we've
been teasing an intro jingle for this segment for a
very long time and it hasn't happened.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
It will.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
We keep running out of time. We had a long lunch,
have a long lunch, and we are we have no
one to blame but ourselves.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
But it'll happen next week, next week. Promise, next week happened.
This one comes from Angela. Thank you Angela for writing in.
Huge thanks, huge, huge thank you. She says, it's very short,
but punchy.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
What's the deal?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
What's the deal with school drop offs? Absolute carnage.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
It's a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
It is a nightmare. I feel like it's been a
nightmare for decades.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Also, we have to take a moment and just think
about all the parents who have kids in KINDI where
it's not just drop and go. It's like a drop
walk in. It's a debarcle handover. It's yeah, you know,
I don't know you guys still walking in.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
No, only only this week because it was the first
week back and he was it was raining, just nothing
really aligned for him, and he was.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Just a bit How many car parks do you have
outside your school?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, we don't. We've got, like I'll try and explain
it as best as possible. Is a this is a
visual no, this is an audio medium. Very good, thank you.
So they've got car parks like proper ones where it's
a curb to read, a curb curb, and then they've
got like a separate section which is just like curb
(33:53):
side drop off.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh, they've got like the two tier.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, but the problem is at the top there of
the school is kindergarten as well, like separate like a
like a only about children whatever they call it, so
that you're competing with that too. Yeah, but the street
itself really narrow, and people try and go up and
turn around and come back, and it is chaos. Thankfully,
I ride the bike most of the time, but when
(34:18):
you drive, you've got to give yourself an extra twenty minute.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
There's got to be some level of exemption at my school.
I don't know if yours is the same, but at
our school they always have pretty much i'd say like
three or four out of the five days of the
week for drop offs in the morning and pick up
in the afternoon. They have parking inspectors. Oh, hovering, Yeah,
we've got one, give me a break.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
It's a two minute it's a two minute. It's a
two minute drop off usually yeah, yeah, yeah. But like also,
if I saw a parking expector being like, okay, let
me just time you right now.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
I'd be like, oh, come on, man, come on, don't
get don't get the hard working, tired, exhausted parents like
we're doing our best, we're hanging on by a thread.
They get the people who are fucking down at the
beach and parking there for hours, and then like the
real criminals. You know, there should be there should be,
(35:15):
it should be agreed. That's school to just I get
if you're parking for like hours and a no stopping zone,
I get it, you know, but come on, I.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Think like you're right, especially if it's like a drop
and go situation. It's like, okay, we'll give some room
for you to be able to actually get out of
the car, walk them the thirty or forty feet or
whatever it might be so they're comfortable. But there would
be and you know that there would be parents at
whatever school. It is who's like enforcing be quicker and
(35:45):
be those people out there, And if you are that
fucking person, pull your fucking head.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Would you like have a good hard look at you
have a good hard stone, look at yourself in the
mirror and ask if you're fighting the good fight or not?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Because you're not, Because you're absolutely not. And it's like people.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Who you're going to one day wake up and realize that,
actually I don't want to attack him too much.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I let's get after him. You know who you are, You're.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Going to have the guilt of knowing that you're on
the wrong side of history.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yeah, totally, because like I feel like there it would
be there would be those parents that would write to
the school going this number plate, this number plate, this
number plate, they they parked for five minutes instead of
two minutes. If that's you, you're the fucking worst person
that exists.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
We did have a my primary school, we did have
a system which it wasn't ideal for like when you
had to take your child inside the school grounds, but
it was like there was like a holding pen almost
of cars where then they would get sent in one
by one to do like like stop kiss store open go, yeah, okay,
And it was like explained, it was like a known thing.
(36:50):
There was there was a very thorough process, and so
you could funnel through a really high volume of cars.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
That is outstanding.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I think that. I think the principle was he was
very like methodical and how he planned. I try not
to do a miile farving.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
It's like, there's got to be something. There's got to
be something. I think. I feel like in general as
a human population, we neglect our parking situation a lot
around schools, especially around schools, but for example, what do
you think?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I'm thinking, I'm thinking this is much bigger than just schools.
This is the bigger deal. For example, I went to
Movie World and you went to Movie World too? Did
you have to park there? I did?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
It is a debarcle, like they never heard of storied
car parks up there. It's just like one big fucking field.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
You know, you're parking.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Literally, my shoes were muddy before I even got to
the to the park. I was like, well, I got
to turn around now and go home. It's stack them
up anyway. Do you think schools could stack them up too?
What do you mean like have like a like a
a like a mall situation. Well no, no, you couldn't
do that.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
No, we got to get moving.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh shit, Sorry, okay, anyway, good rant, and there needs
to be a solution.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
This is from Anna, She says, Hey, sorry, hello, Anna,
I apologize as a mother of three under three. God
send help, she says, absolutely if we knew where you were, said,
I want to share a pair rant that I'm particularly
passionate about seeing it. Sister, why the f just swear, Ana,
It's fine, we're Why the fuck aren't all parks fully fenced?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Question Mark, very good question.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
I just want to sit and have a coffee while
my kids are running Mark without fear of them running
under the road, are going for a swim? Because most
parks have ponds while we're out at what do you mean.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Most parks have ponds in BONDI maybe we don't have
any ponds in our parks. You've got ponds they're fishing there.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Well that's centennial par.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Fuck.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Shut up, while we're out at. All parks should have
a coffee van. I feel like most do.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Hang on, you've got ponds and coffee vans. Well, what's next?
Foot rubs?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Why are you all about the feet today?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
So I'm just trying to wrap my head around these
parks you're going to.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
No, I do you think you're picking out the parts?
Obviously you want to go somewhere that has the facilities
to cater to your knee. So you're going to a
park knowing that there's a cafe close by. Okay, yeah,
I guess so, yeah, feet, I agree. Fence in the parks.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Yeah, I think that's a I think it should be mandatory,
like you fence a pool, your fence around your house. Yeah,
your fence everything. They fence them in at school. Now,
might as well fence them into a park, make everything
into a prison. Why not.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Listen to questions?
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yes, let's go.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
We've got a couple of here. Ash Okay, I got
the first one here from a Amanda. She asks, how
do you introduce your children to their new sibling?
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Very good question, Very good. When we had Macy in
the hospital that we had Macy in during because it
was a planned c section, were there for a couple
of days after the recovery for April. But they have
a class all about this, and they have an expert
in there giving you tips.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Like what do they say, like get the blanket from
a newborn baby.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
No, it was like it was a lot around.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Not attention.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Attention you want to say neglecting, because that's that's criminal.
It's more like filling the other child's cup. And one
of the tips that we got was that was a
bit cheeky, was when you give your eldest child a cuddle,
don't be the first to let go. So, for example,
I cuddle you, not a get your compliant for the cuddle.
(41:00):
There's consent, So can I have a cuddle? Yes, and
you hold on until they go. I'm like because it's
like then they go. But we do it and my
kids are so clingy.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
It's like like, why are we going to let go
for fuck say, especially with April and oscar Oscars, Like
A was like, oh, I can't give me a cuddle
and then it's like okay, she might like release and
he's like lashed on her arm and he's like, well, this.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Is us for the rest of the day. Then was
so that was one of the tips that back We
didn't backfire. It just my kids are too clinging.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
I never heard that.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Thank you, there's a whole class thank you. The whole class.
So when you have your third, just hug the other
ones for as long as you can. There he is,
I'm precious. Next question. Hopefully that answers your question, Amanda, Okay,
I have. This is from anonymous Matt. What's the lamest
injury you've ever got? Talking domestic?
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Look, you get to a certain age now that I'm
itching towards forty. There I said it. You are, thank you.
You are also in that bracket you are, And once
you get to this age, injuries all of a sudden,
you know they're not reserved for situations where you're like,
you know, having a car crash that's falling off.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
The stuff, you know, all the cool stuff that I'll.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Kill you becomes so much easier to attain.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
An injury.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
I've just gotten over one recently. I mean the big one,
you know, was like you sleep in a weird position,
you wake up and you can't move your neck. But
I had a scenario where I went for a swim
in the ocean, and as I sometimes like to do,
I give a flick.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Because you've got hair, bit of hair. Yeah, so I
just you're trying to be hot never.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
And so I got out of the water and I
gave a flick and went.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Oh oh yeah, and I was like help, help.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
That was almost on bond I rescue.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I flicked my beautiful lush just there and now my
neck out.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
It's a back injury. You can never be too you
can never.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Be too short. Lay down like wet on the board
and roll you on one side, put the board on,
roll you back.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
It lasted for a good five days until I got
a complete movement back, hapening on panetol like every single day.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Seeing the physio what happened, and she's like nothing, just
old man.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
I attacked my bed.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
I have one, which I'm not proud of at all. Okay,
I'll set the scene for you. I can. I'll be
quick because I know you've got time constraints, constraints. I'll
be really quick. So I was when Macy was just born.
And we're living in a complex where the car park
for the complexes in the middle and it's wrapped around
with buildings. Okay, so I've gone via KFC and picked
(43:45):
up a Zinger box for myself. Okay, it's in the
passenger seat. I get home, I park in this in
this car park and I lean over to get the KFC,
throw my back out, I'm stuck in This is not
made I'm not making this up at all. So you
know I threw my back out. I'm stuck in this position.
(44:09):
I can't move, okay, frozen. I'm frozen, if you will
very good. Anyway, I thankfully have Bluetooth, so I've managed
a Bluetooth call April, who's got Macy and Macy only,
and it echoes through the buildings, the phone ringing in
the bluetooth okay, and I'll go on, can you come
(44:31):
and help me out of the car. I've thrown my
back out trying to get KFC off the passenger seat,
and April just bursts into tears, laughing, and it's echoing
throughout the whole thing. At this point, people have come
out onto their balconies to look at the commotion, to
look at the commotion, and April runs out, baby in hand,
she's breastfeeding, okay, to try and help me, try and
(44:52):
help me out of the car anyway, so she's had to.
She was like, just let go of the KFC, and
I was like, oh, you're right, and then I backed out. Anyway.
For the next week, I was flat on my back
with my I slept on the floor with my legs
up on the couch all because of a zinger box
(45:14):
that I desperately needed delicious and it was cold. I
was like, quick, get me inside, it's going cold.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Getting old sucks genuine out there. Who's under the age
of thirty savor every second, No, no sudden twists. Yeah,
before you know what, you'll be as pathetic as me.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
But do you know now? What I do is if
I ever have anything in the passenger seat, I actually
get out walk around.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
I learned, especially as food. I'm like, I don't need
that again, what are you training for? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Ash?
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yes, If any listeners have any questions, if there's something
a topic they would like us to give our a
nine or they have a pair rant parent, where should
they send it to?
Speaker 2 (46:05):
They could send it to as they like, Tutoring Dads
or TikTok dance or Facebook or Hello at two dot Dan.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Stop very well, sad And if you've enjoyed this episode,
any episode of Two Doting Dads, we love it. We
love it so much it fills our cup.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Share it with a friend.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
If you share with a friend, or subscribe if you
haven't already, and Lastly, just give a review, a few stars,
a couple of comments. For God's sake, don't give a
number of stars in a comment. When I see there's
been a new review and there's no comment, God, it
annoys me. Just give it to me now, but until
next time. Stay safe. I feel like I'm joy Shpringer.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Stay safe? What does he say?
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Stay saved?
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Okay? All right Sam.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Lander
peoples today
Got some exciting news.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
All good.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
You know those coffees that we ordered and they spilt?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
He done it again.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
I guess they got him for free victories.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Else can they reheat mart? It's cole.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I hope that doesn't go back to the delivery driver.
And for the record, they were spilt. It was a
quarter or less left.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It was like not even a small spill. It was
a puddle of coffee. How did he make he nearly
didn't make it here with that paper back? How did that?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Did he say anything to you when he handed over
the delivery? Yeah, he was like a quick welcome back
(00:49):
to two doing dads. I happened to be Maddie Jay
and I happened to be Ash and this happens to
be a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It is the good, it is the bad.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
And if you come for advice, just like, for the
love of God, stop for.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
One hundred and forty second time, we do not give advice.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I don't know how many times do need to keep
saying this.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I people were probably like, is this what's happened? Is
this legal matter for real? Yes?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It is very serious. We can't take it on a
scandal nokes out of the way.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
This morning, I spooked Macie accidentally. I didn't line her
up to spooker like I usually do.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I mean, do you see me scare Laura?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Oh yeah, I did see that.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Was it like that?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No, this was accidental.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
For the record, got a lot of hate for scaring
my pregnant wife. She was fine, she pissed herself, but.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh my god. Yeah, I can imagine like people be
like features.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Venis was probably like, what's going on like that?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I remember when I worked in the timber once we
had a possum in the roof and it got spooked
so hard once so that had a miss.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Character spat out, what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I don't know. It was like a fetus.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Don't tell me that. Sorry, stops scaring my wife.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Nah, you're right, she's a human. It's not possible. Don't know. Okay,
So I spooked to Macy this morning, but it was
a complete and utter accident. April had to take off
to do a meeting. So I was with Macy this
morning for an hour before I had to come here,
and I was like, okay, I need to I wasn't
ready for the day at all, so I needed to shit.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And as you how do you say ships leave my body?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes, aggressively, I would say, with a big, big, strong push. Anyway,
I did that, and then I went into the shower,
but I left the door open because Macy was just
in the lounge room. I just wanted her to be
able to access me if she needed anything.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Because it is good parenting.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, unless she walks in
and slips over and it's bad parenting.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
But she wait, was a toilet door open. She was like,
what's that smell?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Nah? Nah, she's used to it, she used to it.
How whole house things doesn't matter. And I'm in the
shower as we go, and I stupidly put the the
smoke detector in the hallway outside of the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
You've done this, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
And all of and I didn't know, and all of
a sudden, the smoke alarm's gone off and I'm like, he's.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Having a steamy one.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, And I was like, oh fuck, that's going to
scare the ship out of Macy. And I like, come,
I like turn the shower off and go out of
the shower to like wave a towel in front of it.
And by the time I come out of Macey's just
like running up, ll do what is that? Just like
(03:40):
fully spooked and I was just like smoke alarm. It
was just like it's just going and she was like
started to just get real real, what was your dog doing? Oh?
She was hiding in the corner. She hates it too.
If Oscar was there would have been a whole debarcle
because he's we've got him before with it, and he's
(04:01):
just like he like will walk past the smoke protectors
and be like, there it is. Don't you go off?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Anyway, she's every time he goes to bed, I'm watching.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, she's frantic in the hallway. I'm button aked in
the hallway, waving my towel. My junk's probably flopping up.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
He didn't have the trade's on the roof next door
again it's.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Too wet for that, and I'm flopping around.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I'm waving amaze.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
She's getting real worked up. And then it just stops
and we both stopped and little other she was like
she just looked at me and goes.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
He just walks off.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And I was like a second ago, you were like
the house is burning down?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Question? Yeah, does she ever look at your dick and dah,
like what's that?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Like?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Are you how how.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
It's more of like whoa. It's funny because she April,
I mean April loves it. Mazie. She every morning she
showers with ab when she gets home from the gym,
was like I want to come and like gets in
And then I had a shower the day and she
(05:09):
came in and I was like her head is like
perfect cock and ball heigh and I was like, okay,
get out.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
This is you're too old for this. Now there is
high risk.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, this is high risk. And it was like it
was Oscar. It's fine because he's like watch me. We
and then you know, boys are very different.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
But I'll never experience that.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Well do you do, I'll let you shower with Oscar.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah she never really. I don't think she's about that. Yeah,
yeah we can, she.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Does say, she did say. And it was really really
funny her in O school, we're in a hammock up
up when we're on the Gold Coast. My friend's gonna
have it on the back and then they were in
it together facing each other and like the feet were
both out and Mazie goes, stop it. You're kicking me
in the nuts.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I was like, that is not right. Yes, I
don't want to dob in which relative this is one
of my nieces. I don't have that many, but she
was ever recently looking after her and shat isn't it?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
And I was in the toilet and the door was
kind of half a jar, and she was like just
hands on the door and yeah, peeking in. And I
was like, go on, I get shouts, come on in, breadon.
So I was I was like, get out of here,
come on, you don't want to see that. She was
(06:32):
like can I see it? And I was like no,
and I was like no, you you know that's my
private part. So I had to express it's.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Like not that you go, I want to see the
ship you just dropped off ash.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
But if you ever had another child and terrible, sorry,
this is this is Let's let's move on. Let's move
right along.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Let's move a question for you actually, because school has
gone back.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's term two, and our term two for our kids
is the term two of their whole life. It's the
first time has Marley received any assignments? Yeah, okay, at the.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Moment, she's really it's hard to get information from her.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Okay, I always go, what'd you learn?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
She's she and also I picked her up and her teacher,
who's so great, she's lovely. She was like, just a
reminder that the task for this week is Then she
explained the task and I was kind of in the
like I was parked in a bad spot. That's another story.
We're going to that later in the episode. But I
had to just I wanted to grab and go, and
(07:46):
she explained to me what I had to do and
by when and I got in the car and I
was like.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Fuck, crap. School's the losers driver.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So she has have homework. I think she has to
write a story or no, she has to draw a
picture of an animal.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
That's as much as I know. Could start well then,
but then just quickly, when I dropped her off this morning,
she was like, where's my picture? And I was like
what picture? She's like, the picture of the animal. She
did it with Laura, and I was like, why are
you asking me? It's your assignment and she's like, did
you put it in my bag? And I was like,
I don't know, probably not, you definitely didn't. It's fun.
(08:26):
These kids are a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's attached to the fridge over there. Well, what have
you got? Oscar had an oral presentation to do. Okay, yes,
like a speech. Yeah, and it was due the first
week of term, the first day back, pretty.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Much first day back. She had to do it with
the holiday.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah. But we didn't know this until like a couple
of days out, when April was going through the bag
again to make sure that there's a hat in there
jumping was his lunchbox on the bag or no, no,
that's my that's my bag From when I was a kid,
I did that all the time. My mom hated it.
She's like, oh, Oscar's got an oral presentation to do,
and it was sort of like on a subject of
(09:08):
their choice. It's for a minute long a minute, but
I know your school's crazy. What is this Cambridge? Fuck me? Anyway,
my five year old goes to Harvard and it was like, oh,
you can have it on whatever. And we agreed that
it would be on the Manly Seaquels.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
So Oscar gave, We agreed, I agreed, enforced.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I enforced it not only because we happen to be
collecting the NRL cards, the trading cards.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Oscar loves it again we meet. What do you collect
them from getting.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
From the post office? Great? Okay, yeah, I've got a dealer.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Just quickly, what's a packet worth four bucks? It's very reasonable? Yeah,
it's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, considering Pokemon's like fifteen bucks at the moment Bloody Markets.
When we were having a conversation, he had the manly
ones all his favorite players up, so he's like, I
want to talk about my favorite player anyway. We were like, okay, whatever,
you know, take take the card because they're allowed to
have visual aids and anyway. So first day, drop him
off and then we completely forgot about it, like a
(10:19):
I don't know. And then I think close to bedtime
we were like, did you do your oral presentation today?
He's like yeah. I was like, oh, how did it go?
And he was like yeah, yeah good. Kyle likes the Tigers.
And I was like, who's who's talking about? Like you
want to be talking about? You was like yeah, yeah,
me and Kyle Lewis did it ourselves, like together, And
I was like, was it a joint? No, they just
(10:43):
I think they were just a bit scared to get
up alone.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
What did he practice it?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Not with me? Didn't because I was like, you're good.
Like I was like, you're good with these set these
cards and you're ut dural and was like, yeah, I'm
just going to talk about each and every player and like,
to be honest, he can pick them all out right,
and I'm like, you know, you got to make it
last like a minute. It's a long time. He was like,
how long is a minute? I'm like, oh god. And
then I was like after it was all said and done,
(11:07):
and like he obviously lost the trading cars because kids
are kids and they take him out of it. I
was like, don't take him out of the bag other
than it's for the speech, and he was like, I
don't know where they are anyway. At the end of it,
I was like, it's a bit isn't it a bit
young to be doing like an aural assign one hundred?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I think, yeah. I mean, I'm not a teacher, I think,
but that's child abuse.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Dude, That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
I'm questioning that the ethics of your school.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Well, maybe they just want to give them some confidence.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, but am I. It's like, do you want your
kid to swim? Yeah, you're not going to throw them
in the fucking ocean are you about. I'm going to
put him in the kidde pool first. Whereas with Oscar,
it's like and his students in his class.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Well, I think they're probably like, maybe like the minute
was like that no longer than a minute. Maybe that
was I didn't really read the thing because I'm me,
I never read anything. Uh, maybe it was like you
can't go over a minute, and they were like, just
come in and show. Maybe it was like a show
and te.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Maybe it was showing to we're talking this an oral presentation,
but on the thing is an oral presentation, and I
was just showing.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
That's how it gros. But yeah, I was like, this
is way too young. But like we have been given
homework and stuff over the course of term wine and
forgotten to do pretty much all.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, we're at the homework stage and it's really it's
really hard. What was struggled with Nash is she's in
the after school care until I quarter to five, when
I pick her up, get home, she's tired, we have dinner,
good in bed. It's there's no time for the homework.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
No, there is no time for not that age, no way,
I don't remember having homework at that age.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
And after dinner, I'm like, do you want to read
this book? And she's like, ah, like I've had I've
had a heck of a day fuck off literally. So
it's but the thing that's really the thing that I'm
finding really difficult at the moment, very frustrating, is the
fact that we talked about school uniforms, talked about the
(13:13):
cost that we're currently incurring, and she's just losing jumper
after jumper after jumper. It's a jumper massacret.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, Oscar for some reason, refuses to wear his jumper.
Like those kids it's not cool enough. He's not.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
There's always that kid who doesn't matter how cold it got,
they never wore a jumper.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
He's one of them. Yeah, he's one of those kids.
He's not cold blooded, that's for sure. He's definitely warm blooded,
like he doesn't need it.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But he's like a guy could in. He came from Melbourne,
which made a lot of sense. He never wore a jumper.
Ian Yeah, Ian in my school. Oh, he was just
like the one kid he doesn't wear a jumper. Yeah,
that's an Oscar.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, I don't know, because he's like if we're riding
the bike down. It's cold. You gotta wear it on
the bike. And he's like, God, I'm not asking you
that old world hunger.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Dude, You're blessed having a Chilotte doesn't wear a jumper.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
One less thing to lose.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
It's a miracle.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Did you get that hat? Bat?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Which hat?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Didn't she lose a hat?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
She's lost three hats.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
We keep gaining.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Hats, dude, Send and oscar this way, just like a
mate's just picking up Marley. Even she came home without
her jumper, but her cousin's jumper, which is like three
sizes too big. So I was like, call my sister.
I'm like, somehow Marley's got your daughter's jumper. And so
now I sent her to school two jumpers.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
She came back with three.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
She came back with none, and I was like, where
are your jumpers? And she's like, what are you talking?
You're like close and so close, and I'm like, how
where do you put your jumpers when you take them off?
And she's like I don't know. And then and I
was like, listen, listen, jumpers are really expensive when you
take it off, and I need you to put it
into your bag. And then she was like, would you
(14:54):
just stop harassing me about the jumpers? This is bullying
and she starts.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Crying and I'm like, oh ah, raw, It's funny when
they did that, you know the Easter hat parade, but
before that, they make the Easter hats. So did you
guys do that at school? So you had to provide
what you wanted to decorate it with, but they did
at school. So the instructions were from the school is
buy the decorations, give them to the kid. The kid
brings them in and they stay in there like pigeon
(15:19):
hole until it's time. Okay, oscar no dramas. Lenny Mike's
kid seemed to be a drama. They sent him to
school with the decorations, and every day he'd come home
with them again, and I'd be at the top of
the I'd be at the top of the school path
with Sana, Lenny's mom, and she'd be like, I wonder
(15:42):
if he's going to bring them back, and then you
see all the kids running up and then you just
see the Wooli's bag. She was like, I thought I
told you to leave them there, and he's like I did.
It's like, why do you have them, He's like, and
then Oscar's like, I told him to leave him as well.
And this went on for the two weeks leading up
(16:02):
to every single day. By the time it got to
like the last before the hat parade, they had to
actually do it. The Wooli's bag was so tactic. It's
just like it had literally gone like five thousand miles
up and down the school track into the Cabby hole,
out of the Coby hole, back home with him.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
You just give up, wouldn't you, like, just don't like,
don't give him to him anymore until like the last day, when.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, I think that's what ended up happening, and I
would just like, oh fuck it. I was putting his
bag on the day of, but it was it was
two weeks. I remember every time I was at the
top and I'm like, here he comes so funny, like
he's just been shopping.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Hey, I've implemented something which I don't want to say
is great parenting, but so far it's working. Wonders go on.
We had an issue at home, the fact that our
kids love getting out of bed in the middle of
the night, always around midnight one o'clock, come into our
bed and lately, we've had Lola, we've had Marley, and
(17:01):
we're just like, this is it's getting too much like
she'd be Laura and she's pregnant. I have a pregnant
wife right now and the kids have no regard for
that pregnancy. They couldn't give a ship. And so what
do we do here? We need to get these kids
out of the bed.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Can I say, please, you don't have a very big bed.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
It's not a big bed.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Get a king.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
It's a single.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Get a king. We just stack o. It's just a double.
I can't.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
We're fitting there. Bro Also, that's an expensive mattress.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Make it fit.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I'm not made of money.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
An influence. I just influence your way into one. It's
not that easy.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
What so we were, You'll have it.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
You'll have a new bed by the end of this episode.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
So we have a rule. Now, the kids, it's not
sponsored love going to Yochi on a Friday after school.
Pick them up. Explain to me what yochi Isochi's just
frozen yogurt with topics you can get like Tella, you
get sprinkles, you get musk sticks.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Can I ask you a more scientific question? Absolutely is
frozen yogurt, just yogurt that's frozen. I believe so yes, okay, yeah,
I believe. So we love it. People love it. My
mom Nana hates it. So I could buy a tuber
yogurt freeze it myself and that would you get the
same result. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I've got some yochi here if you'd like some. Okay, Well,
kids love it. They're ubsessed and they it's like crack
for them and all the kids from school. They go
there on a Friday, so it's nice pick them up,
walk down there. So I was like, listen here, your
little fucker is right before they go to sleep, isn't he.
I was like, we're going to start on a Monday.
If you want to get yochi on a Friday.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Do they know what Monday is?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Kind of?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
It's like you just like I start today? Yeah? Like
how many sleeps?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
And I was like, you need to get five stars.
We're going to do a little chart. Five sleeps, five sleeps.
The only way for you to get a star is
by spending the whole night in your bed.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Love it? What do you? Oh? You got to people?
Here we go. Bowler is killing it.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, yeah, Lola's smashing it. She's doing really well. She
really wants she is due for a Yochi. Smiley faced
is today Yochi day? Today is are you on the
phone talking.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
About to Yochi about someone else? But now I have
a proper mash. You have another child that doesn't deserve.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Narlie's like, fuck the Yochi. Right during the week, I
would say to her, she would hop into bed and
I'd say, let me just remind you. You have the
option right now? Is it one in the morning. I'm like,
you can go back into your bed, and remember, if
you do that, you'll get a star. The star will
go towards the yogi. If you stay in this bed,
you will get no stars. No stars for you this evening?
What would you like it to be? And She's like,
fuck the Yochi.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Just let me come bed for She's weighed up the options.
She knows what she's going to get more value out of.
Smart Really, have you ever thought about this, please going
from the Yochi and saying, okay, if Yochi is not
what's going to get it for you have that we
just go all the way and go with ice cream
like gelato dude, the same thing.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
The yoach she lived. Tell you that the position of
the yochi is actually right next to and they prefer
the and they prefer the yochi. Yochi is it's hot
right now?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That's it. I'm investing.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
It is hot property.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Frozen yogurt. It's cyclical. Sorry, it's cyclical. What the is that?
Like the cycle of the moon, the cycle of the tides,
or the menstrual cycles.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I have been through many cycles of frozen yogurt. I
remember five years ago they were all shutting down and
then it just comes back every now they're back. I
don't know what's happened. I don't know who's controlling these
frozen yogurt markets. But frozen yogurt is back.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Cyclical, cyclical. When do you think it's going to go again?
Speaker 1 (20:39):
It's got I think two years in it and then
it's gone good three at the most.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I think.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But now the issue is ash Marley's only only had
as you can see two successful nights. Do they have
to be in a road?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Do you not start again? Well?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Because what do we do now? So I picked up
from school, Do I give her a yochi or or
do I say I'm sorry, you have to come with
me with Lola to get the yochi. You don't get
any yo chi, which will result in a tantrum, which
will she'll end up getting it, but then she doesn't
learn the lesson. Then all of a sudden, this is
what I would call a classic conundrum. Okay, Lola deserves it, obviously,
(21:17):
what would I do? Dig really deep, tell me, tell me.
I would give me an insight into how ash parents.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
First of all, I get a whiteboard for this, so I.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Didn't ask you to critique the system. I asked you
to just answer, if Marley is deserved.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It makes the system better, because which will help in
this situation because you would have rubbed that off the
board and you can be like, look you've got nune,
you know what I mean, and you can start again.
You can start fresh today, so next week. But now
you've got stickers involved on perishable paper. What I would do?
Speaker 1 (21:56):
So it's not sustainable, it's not sustainable. It's terrible thinking
about the clients.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Well you should be, is yochi? Thinking about the climate.
I would say you're in for a meltdown. That's one thing.
If you say no, and I would stick to your guns,
because if you stick to your guns, you can then
go right. We're going to cross Marley out here, put
her down. The next one is this meant to be
for the third child that's not here yet, Sleep in
(22:23):
your own bed, and he's yelling at Laura's tummy. Get
it right back then you can. Oh god, I'm a
silly boy. You cross that out and you go right, Marley,
you didn't get Yochi today because of this, Lola does.
But you've got a chance next week to redeem yourself
and get that Yochi. And you're just gonna have to
(22:43):
deal with a meltdown because you can't fold on that
because it's not a white board, just it's a classic
Friday RBO. Just push her out in the range. You'll
get over it. Why don't you do? Oh? Why don't
you get there? Because I always sneak the kids things
so the other one doesn't know. So like for example, if.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Because then if I sneak it it to Lola, then
she as soon as pick up Marlo, she'll be like, hey,
guess what you missed out on?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Yeah, they do, they do do that, But then I
just started calling them lies. He's lying. But it's more. Yeah,
you're in for a meltdown.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
The old star system a tailor as old as time.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
So another option could be which I do this sometimes, Yes,
is when like, for example, the kids are having dinner
and I'm like, okay, look if you eat all your dinner,
there's a treat at the end, right, similar concept, but
I always say it's one in all in, So if
Oscar eats all his dinner, no one gets anything until
(23:44):
Macy's eaten all of hers.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So they've got to like cheer each other on.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah, teamwork makes the dream work.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
So if Lola wakes up and sees Marley walking out
with the room in the middle of the night, she'll
grab her and be like, get the get back to
bed and don't even think about it.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
But that couldn't It might not work with this situation
because you don't want to argument in the middle of
the night, right, as.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Long as they argue in their room and no room,
that's fine.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, because it's like they.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Want to if they want to go at each other
fight wake up mys hog tied at the corner of
the room.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, so I would.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
There you go. Yeah, I do think about it.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
It wouldn't be ideal. If you had to walk into
that in the middle of the night, I would say
this this time, I would stand your ground.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Okay, well, I look forward to the kids having yo
chi tonight, both.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Of them extra, give them extra. Laura is pregnant. We
all know this. Now it's out there. We know the gender.
But we were talking about how I accidentally miss grandparented someone.
Remember refresh my memory. So I was at a park
with someone and I was like, is this your grandchild?
They're like, no, this is my child. Remember.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Can we just quickly for anyone who missed that episode?
She was an older parent.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
She looked like an older parent, and ash.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Ash went up to this mother and then spoke to
her in a way which I referred to her as
being the nana.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, and look what a disgusting I'm only human. It's
a bad way. But you asked me if I've accidentally
asked someone if they like accidentally assumed someone was pregnant. Yeah.
Now I didn't do that, but I did something that
I'm not proud of. And I was quite a younger
(25:35):
man in this situation. So I was like early twenties
and I was at a friend's house and he having
people over and well, you know, there's drinks and blah blah.
I was like, I was like a party. I am
familiar with the party. Okay, shut up, I'm trying to
(25:55):
paint a picture. Okay, make fun of me.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Little snacks. There were people, there was music.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
I just didn't want you to, okay, well, to be
anytime gathering.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
It's a gathering.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
It was a funeral. Actually anyway. A friend of a
friend came, you're very funny, thank you. A friend of
a friend came to a park. A friend of a
friend came to this party who I haven't seen in
a long time. And she walked in and she was
(26:27):
pregnant and I didn't know that, and yes, I'm gonna
regret this. I blurted out, whoa, you're huge.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Oh my god? How big was she?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Twins? Obviously huge, big pregnant girl.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
But I hadn't she just popped or you hadn't seen
her for a while.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I didn't even know she was pregnant. She was a
friend of a friend, but I knew her and I
she walked in.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Spit your drink out, I legit did. I was like,
but do you know what I would have said if
I saw her, well you look beautiful.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, come over here, take you shoes off.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Ah, anyway, are a foot guy?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Guilty?
Speaker 1 (27:22):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I I just blurted it out. I had no control
over the situation you have, add I felt horrible afterwards. Also,
her husband still a husband. He was a police officer,
and anyway, some time had passed, Like I'm talking months
(27:43):
had passed. Okay, I have been pulled over for a
random breath test and guess who it is? The husband? Wow,
And just in that moment, he happened to be breathalyzing
me and he was like, remember that time at blah
blah blah party and we walked fashion and I was like, no,
I don't know what you're talking about. Bro. It was
like I remember anyway, and then sent me and I
(28:04):
was just like, oh fuck. But I felt horrible about it.
And it was like one of those moments where you're
like fuck. And I haven't a lot because I blurs
shit out all the time, but this was a particularly
bad one. Do you know what. I spent the rest
of the party groveling to her as well, like some
sort of sad sack. I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Groveling over her feet.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I was like, I was like no. I just kept
saying things like you're not that big, and I was like,
can I get your drinks? She's like, you're pregnant. Win
this one, But I was, you know, do you think
I've ever been around a pregnant person that point?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I think when you look at a situation like this,
you have to look at the intent, and I think,
in a credit to you, you felt bad afterwards. There
was no intent to offend, and you know you, sometimes
good people make bad decisions.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I'm a person. Yes, Oh my god, when we snip
that up, just please to keep that for later on.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I think it's fine. Can I ask you just on
a side note, I know recently we spoke about the
fact that I find Laura attractive where April was pregnant
with Oscar and Macy. How did you view her? Um,
I didn't expect you to think about it.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I was trying to remember. I don't remember. I think.
I don't think I changed. I was like wow, walking
in the room, I was like, I just played this
music over and over time you walked do do do
do do do do do No. I don't think my
feelings changed about it at all. I would say that
(29:39):
I was the same level of attracting. There wasn't a
stage where I wasn't was like, you're unattractive.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Another question for you, did you go through a phase
whilst April was pregnant where she had a heightened sexual appetite.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Yeah, I would say it was slightly high.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I really thinking. I remember.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I remember there was one Austray Day long weekend April
was very pregnant, Go on Oscar on Macy. I think
it was Oscar. Yeah, because we wouldn't. We wouldn't have
left Macy or Oscar behind you go. Yeah, and it was.
It was a good trip because of the heightened libido
(30:22):
of my life at the time. Yeah. Actually, I do
recall that specifically that weekend, but I'm not gonna site
here be like she couldn't keep off, especially when I'm
saying things like wow, like explain to me. But yeah,
I would say my that my feelings and everything around
that time were at the same. I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I don't know if it's a real thing. People keep
messaging me being like, has Laura had that little that
little window where she gets super frisky And I was.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Like, yeah, No, I don't think we will it happened?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Is it coming?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
But pregnant? It's like people just dming new pictures of
their bellies now that I wish kidding? What about I
get like a little hairy snail. You've seen those, like
they're really pregnant ladies. And because it's.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Obviously I don't, I don't see that asht. What I
see is someone said in a comment, and I was like,
that's perfect. It's like an artist stepping back and admiring
their work. Yeah, it's like a builder, a builder looking
back at the Eiffel Tower. I mean, like I created that.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
You just step back, bring a level.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
It's blum perfect, It's blum. Anyway, I felt like I
needed to tell you that because it helps me close
the circle of my traumas to be able to talk
about how I fat chamed a pregnant lady accident.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I thought. I thought when you told me there was
a scenario with someone who was pregnant, I thought you
were going to tell me that. You were like, when's
the June And she's like when you No, thank God,
have you done that?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
No? Thank Heaven, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So you are a good guy.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Deep deep, deep down, Matt, should we go into parents. Yes,
it's time for paraunt. I said it like you did,
parahant pah.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
We do have to apologize for the fact that we've
been teasing an intro jingle for this segment for a
very long time and it hasn't happened.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
It will.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
We keep running out of time. We had a long lunch,
have a long lunch, and we are we have no
one to blame but ourselves.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
But it'll happen next week, next week. Promise, next week happened.
This one comes from Angela. Thank you Angela for writing in.
Huge thanks, huge, huge thank you. She says, it's very short,
but punchy.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
What's the deal?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
What's the deal with school drop offs? Absolute carnage.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
It's a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
It is a nightmare. I feel like it's been a
nightmare for decades.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Also, we have to take a moment and just think
about all the parents who have kids in KINDI where
it's not just drop and go. It's like a drop
walk in. It's a debarcle handover. It's yeah, you know,
I don't know you guys still walking in.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
No, only only this week because it was the first
week back and he was it was raining, just nothing
really aligned for him, and he was.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Just a bit How many car parks do you have
outside your school?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, we don't. We've got, like I'll try and explain
it as best as possible. Is a this is a
visual no, this is an audio medium. Very good, thank you.
So they've got car parks like proper ones where it's
a curb to read, a curb curb, and then they've
got like a separate section which is just like curb
(33:53):
side drop off.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh, they've got like the two tier.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, but the problem is at the top there of
the school is kindergarten as well, like separate like a
like a only about children whatever they call it, so
that you're competing with that too. Yeah, but the street
itself really narrow, and people try and go up and
turn around and come back, and it is chaos. Thankfully,
I ride the bike most of the time, but when
(34:18):
you drive, you've got to give yourself an extra twenty minute.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
There's got to be some level of exemption at my school.
I don't know if yours is the same, but at
our school they always have pretty much i'd say like
three or four out of the five days of the
week for drop offs in the morning and pick up
in the afternoon. They have parking inspectors. Oh, hovering, Yeah,
we've got one, give me a break.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
It's a two minute it's a two minute. It's a
two minute drop off usually yeah, yeah, yeah. But like also,
if I saw a parking expector being like, okay, let
me just time you right now.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
I'd be like, oh, come on, man, come on, don't
get don't get the hard working, tired, exhausted parents like
we're doing our best, we're hanging on by a thread.
They get the people who are fucking down at the
beach and parking there for hours, and then like the
real criminals. You know, there should be there should be,
(35:15):
it should be agreed. That's school to just I get
if you're parking for like hours and a no stopping zone,
I get it, you know, but come on, I.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Think like you're right, especially if it's like a drop
and go situation. It's like, okay, we'll give some room
for you to be able to actually get out of
the car, walk them the thirty or forty feet or
whatever it might be so they're comfortable. But there would
be and you know that there would be parents at
whatever school. It is who's like enforcing be quicker and
(35:45):
be those people out there, And if you are that
fucking person, pull your fucking head.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Would you like have a good hard look at you
have a good hard stone, look at yourself in the
mirror and ask if you're fighting the good fight or not?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Because you're not, Because you're absolutely not. And it's like people.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Who you're going to one day wake up and realize that,
actually I don't want to attack him too much.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I let's get after him. You know who you are, You're.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Going to have the guilt of knowing that you're on
the wrong side of history.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yeah, totally, because like I feel like there it would
be there would be those parents that would write to
the school going this number plate, this number plate, this
number plate, they they parked for five minutes instead of
two minutes. If that's you, you're the fucking worst person
that exists.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
We did have a my primary school, we did have
a system which it wasn't ideal for like when you
had to take your child inside the school grounds, but
it was like there was like a holding pen almost
of cars where then they would get sent in one
by one to do like like stop kiss store open go, yeah, okay,
And it was like explained, it was like a known thing.
(36:50):
There was there was a very thorough process, and so
you could funnel through a really high volume of cars.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
That is outstanding.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I think that. I think the principle was he was
very like methodical and how he planned. I try not
to do a miile farving.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
It's like, there's got to be something. There's got to
be something. I think. I feel like in general as
a human population, we neglect our parking situation a lot
around schools, especially around schools, but for example, what do
you think?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I'm thinking, I'm thinking this is much bigger than just schools.
This is the bigger deal. For example, I went to
Movie World and you went to Movie World too? Did
you have to park there? I did?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
It is a debarcle, like they never heard of storied
car parks up there. It's just like one big fucking field.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
You know, you're parking.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Literally, my shoes were muddy before I even got to
the to the park. I was like, well, I got
to turn around now and go home. It's stack them
up anyway. Do you think schools could stack them up too?
What do you mean like have like a like a
a like a mall situation. Well no, no, you couldn't
do that.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
No, we got to get moving.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh shit, Sorry, okay, anyway, good rant, and there needs
to be a solution.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
This is from Anna, She says, Hey, sorry, hello, Anna,
I apologize as a mother of three under three. God
send help, she says, absolutely if we knew where you were, said,
I want to share a pair rant that I'm particularly
passionate about seeing it. Sister, why the f just swear, Ana,
It's fine, we're Why the fuck aren't all parks fully fenced?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Question Mark, very good question.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
I just want to sit and have a coffee while
my kids are running Mark without fear of them running
under the road, are going for a swim? Because most
parks have ponds while we're out at what do you mean.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Most parks have ponds in BONDI maybe we don't have
any ponds in our parks. You've got ponds they're fishing there.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Well that's centennial par.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Fuck.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Shut up, while we're out at. All parks should have
a coffee van. I feel like most do.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Hang on, you've got ponds and coffee vans. Well, what's next?
Foot rubs?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Why are you all about the feet today?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
So I'm just trying to wrap my head around these
parks you're going to.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
No, I do you think you're picking out the parts?
Obviously you want to go somewhere that has the facilities
to cater to your knee. So you're going to a
park knowing that there's a cafe close by. Okay, yeah,
I guess so, yeah, feet, I agree. Fence in the parks.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Yeah, I think that's a I think it should be mandatory,
like you fence a pool, your fence around your house. Yeah,
your fence everything. They fence them in at school. Now,
might as well fence them into a park, make everything
into a prison. Why not.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Listen to questions?
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yes, let's go.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
We've got a couple of here. Ash Okay, I got
the first one here from a Amanda. She asks, how
do you introduce your children to their new sibling?
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Very good question, Very good. When we had Macy in
the hospital that we had Macy in during because it
was a planned c section, were there for a couple
of days after the recovery for April. But they have
a class all about this, and they have an expert
in there giving you tips.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Like what do they say, like get the blanket from
a newborn baby.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
No, it was like it was a lot around.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Not attention.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Attention you want to say neglecting, because that's that's criminal.
It's more like filling the other child's cup. And one
of the tips that we got was that was a
bit cheeky, was when you give your eldest child a cuddle,
don't be the first to let go. So, for example,
I cuddle you, not a get your compliant for the cuddle.
(41:00):
There's consent, So can I have a cuddle? Yes, and
you hold on until they go. I'm like because it's
like then they go. But we do it and my
kids are so clingy.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
It's like like, why are we going to let go
for fuck say, especially with April and oscar Oscars, Like
A was like, oh, I can't give me a cuddle
and then it's like okay, she might like release and
he's like lashed on her arm and he's like, well, this.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Is us for the rest of the day. Then was
so that was one of the tips that back We
didn't backfire. It just my kids are too clinging.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
I never heard that.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Thank you, there's a whole class thank you. The whole class.
So when you have your third, just hug the other
ones for as long as you can. There he is,
I'm precious. Next question. Hopefully that answers your question, Amanda, Okay,
I have. This is from anonymous Matt. What's the lamest
injury you've ever got? Talking domestic?
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Look, you get to a certain age now that I'm
itching towards forty. There I said it. You are, thank you.
You are also in that bracket you are, And once
you get to this age, injuries all of a sudden,
you know they're not reserved for situations where you're like,
you know, having a car crash that's falling off.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
The stuff, you know, all the cool stuff that I'll.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Kill you becomes so much easier to attain.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
An injury.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
I've just gotten over one recently. I mean the big one,
you know, was like you sleep in a weird position,
you wake up and you can't move your neck. But
I had a scenario where I went for a swim
in the ocean, and as I sometimes like to do,
I give a flick.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Because you've got hair, bit of hair. Yeah, so I
just you're trying to be hot never.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
And so I got out of the water and I
gave a flick and went.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Oh oh yeah, and I was like help, help.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
That was almost on bond I rescue.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I flicked my beautiful lush just there and now my
neck out.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
It's a back injury. You can never be too you
can never.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Be too short. Lay down like wet on the board
and roll you on one side, put the board on,
roll you back.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
It lasted for a good five days until I got
a complete movement back, hapening on panetol like every single day.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Seeing the physio what happened, and she's like nothing, just
old man.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
I attacked my bed.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
I have one, which I'm not proud of at all. Okay,
I'll set the scene for you. I can. I'll be
quick because I know you've got time constraints, constraints. I'll
be really quick. So I was when Macy was just born.
And we're living in a complex where the car park
for the complexes in the middle and it's wrapped around
with buildings. Okay, so I've gone via KFC and picked
(43:45):
up a Zinger box for myself. Okay, it's in the
passenger seat. I get home, I park in this in
this car park and I lean over to get the KFC,
throw my back out, I'm stuck in This is not
made I'm not making this up at all. So you
know I threw my back out. I'm stuck in this position.
(44:09):
I can't move, okay, frozen. I'm frozen, if you will
very good. Anyway, I thankfully have Bluetooth, so I've managed
a Bluetooth call April, who's got Macy and Macy only,
and it echoes through the buildings, the phone ringing in
the bluetooth okay, and I'll go on, can you come
(44:31):
and help me out of the car. I've thrown my
back out trying to get KFC off the passenger seat,
and April just bursts into tears, laughing, and it's echoing
throughout the whole thing. At this point, people have come
out onto their balconies to look at the commotion, to
look at the commotion, and April runs out, baby in hand,
she's breastfeeding, okay, to try and help me, try and
(44:52):
help me out of the car anyway, so she's had to.
She was like, just let go of the KFC, and
I was like, oh, you're right, and then I backed out. Anyway.
For the next week, I was flat on my back
with my I slept on the floor with my legs
up on the couch all because of a zinger box
(45:14):
that I desperately needed delicious and it was cold. I
was like, quick, get me inside, it's going cold.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Getting old sucks genuine out there. Who's under the age
of thirty savor every second, No, no sudden twists. Yeah,
before you know what, you'll be as pathetic as me.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
But do you know now? What I do is if
I ever have anything in the passenger seat, I actually
get out walk around.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
I learned, especially as food. I'm like, I don't need
that again, what are you training for? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Ash?
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yes, If any listeners have any questions, if there's something
a topic they would like us to give our a
nine or they have a pair rant parent, where should
they send it to?
Speaker 2 (46:05):
They could send it to as they like, Tutoring Dads
or TikTok dance or Facebook or Hello at two dot Dan.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Stop very well, sad And if you've enjoyed this episode,
any episode of Two Doting Dads, we love it. We
love it so much it fills our cup.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Share it with a friend.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
If you share with a friend, or subscribe if you
haven't already, and Lastly, just give a review, a few stars,
a couple of comments. For God's sake, don't give a
number of stars in a comment. When I see there's
been a new review and there's no comment, God, it
annoys me. Just give it to me now, but until
next time. Stay safe. I feel like I'm joy Shpringer.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Stay safe? What does he say?
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Stay saved?
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Okay? All right Sam.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Lander
peoples today
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