June 1, 2025 • 46 mins
Trish Johns is a mum, a straight shooter, and a woman with quiet strength and a wicked sense of humour.
She grew up pumping petrol at the local servo in Newcastle, was the spirited one in her massive Italian family, and somehow ended up marrying Matty Johns despite turning him down the first time.
Trish opens up about raising Cooper and Jack (and what it’s like having them move back home as adults), the chaos of parenting two very different boys, and her breast cancer diagnosis. She shares why she didn’t tell the boys straight away, how she got through two surgeries, and why she wants women to stop waiting and get checked early.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Matthew today, we are really lucky to sit down with.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I would say, the head of arguably one of the
most influential NRL families at current time.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Would you go as far as to say that she
is the matriarch?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I would took the words right out of her mouth.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
We are, of course talking about Trish John's. She is
a mother, a stretch shooter. Yes, she is married to
Mattie John's, but I reckon he's been in the spotlight
for long enough, and some of the kids, Jack and Cooper.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
She definitely deserves her own show. Yes, definitely.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
We're going to put her up on that pedestal where
she belongs, and we dive into her family life.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
What it's like navigating her kids coming back to the
nest in their late twenties.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Ah not now sounds like an absolute night.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But we also get into when Trish was diagnosed with
breast cancer.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She opens up about finding the lump, going through surgery
without telling the boys at first, and why she's so
passionate about women getting checked early.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Should we get into it, Let's do it.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.
I am Maddie jaysh.
Speaker 5 (01:15):
And and Trish Jones, and.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad, and there relatable. Now, Trish, we
have to say this line for legal reasons. We don't
give any advice. We're not allowed to never will never have.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Times that we have we've got in trouble, so we
just don't.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Those legal rules do not apply to guests, so you
are allowed to give advice and you'll have no legal
ramification loophole.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
I just like to say, you know, don't listen too
closely to what I have to say that because you know,
my children are still works.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
In progress and they're adults.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
We start off right at the beginning when you were
a young child. Yes, And I'm trying to figure out
ash I'm on the fence.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Do you think she was a good girl or a
naught a girl? I would say, my guess is you're
well behaved.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
As a child, And what's your guess.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Maybe I'm trying to get a read on you to
and I feel like there was a kind of mischievous
streak in you.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I think I might give you a little clue. I
was the last of seven children, seven seven.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Really, holy shit.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So they forgot that you existed a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
What's the gap in ages between one to seven?
Speaker 5 (02:35):
All that would be about eighteen years.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Wow, Jesus eighteen years because that's one of five.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
But not they're very close in years.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
All the others were close. And then I was well
after thoughts, Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Is is it good or bad?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Being one of seven?
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I loved it? Yeah, I love it, love it to
this day.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Yet brothers, sisters.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
There were two boys, there's only father thus remaining now
and five girls.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
So I imagine if you're one of seven, if you
do something wrong, I feel like there's too many kids
to really keep a close eye on things.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Is that the case?
Speaker 5 (03:15):
So what are you trying to say?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I feel like you could murder someone and your parents
would be like, oh, it's.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Not she would have done that. Yeah, no, was I.
I was a good girl. I was a very good girl. However,
I was very spirited.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Spirited.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
I was spirited. I was the risk taker, and which
is generally the youngest.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Child for sure. Definitely the first child is.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
Very sensible, takes on everyone responsibilities, and the youngest is
a little bit more of a free spirit.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
What would you take risks on.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Oh, just being whereas you know, for instance, coming on
this podcast, you know, just doing something like you know,
my my siblings were quite reserved.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
A sensible parent wouldn't accept their invitation. And you lived
near a petrol station.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
I lived right now. I grew up right next door
to a petrol station all my life, yes, your whole child, childhood.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yes. And was this in Newcastle?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
In Newcastle? Yeah, yeah right, yeah, rod at the bottom
of town. So you know every Friday and Saturday night,
you know, you're usually woken up to a car accident
at the intersection. Everyone get out, everyone, okay, all right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So what's it like having a petrol stations you're going
to backyard?
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Well, good on saturda afternoons and Sundays when they weren't open,
because that's when I'd be able to put my railer
skates on and go.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah too, yeah, playground and where.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
It was open. I thought this was like a joke,
But the people pumping gas.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
The hot cheeks pumping gas in short shorts and bikini tops.
Run me through that common This is the seventies. Yeah,
I kind of feel like it was. Yeah, images you
see you the seventies girls in short short.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, I thought it was a car wash though.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
You no, they were pumping gas.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, so what was your take on that?
Speaker 5 (05:15):
As a young girl, I thought it was amazing. I
would sit up in the mulberry tree, eating the mulberries
and just waving at the girls, you know, thinking when
I grow up, that's going to be me.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
And did that dream come true?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Not quite get yourself, service.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Mate, Yeah, that's true. It's never too late.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Well it probably is.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We should started up again, but with boys and girls
so we don't get any.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Flat Oh you know what.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Yeah, no, I think a boy pumping gas is there's
something in that.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
It's definitely.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Younger and young jack down the local BP.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Yeah, they were fundraiser, you know, if it doesn't work
out for him at least And so they were working
a full like nine to five shift just pumping gas. No,
I don't think so. I don't think it was scial hours.
I think so. Yeah. Clever all days.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Very clever. And you met Maddie at quite a young.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Age, I think twenties.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
He talks through how you came across.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
I just started working in a restaurant actually, Jessicinish junior
and I was saving to go traveling. It was I
think it was my second shift, and I was put
in charge of opening all the bottles of wine because
I couldn't open a bottle of wine. I'm very good
at opening then and now true Chops came in there.
He literally was the first guy that came in, and
he was standing beside me at the bar.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
And then actually an old fellow asked me out on
his behalf.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
He didn't even do it in person, some old.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
One to do his dirty work, and can you give
this note to the lady.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Which I had politely decline.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
How are you proposition?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Would you just like to go out to a ball
the following evening?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
You decline? I declined, it's always when you're not looking.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
And you're not wanting. Yeah. And then anyway, one of
the guys I worked with were no, he's actually a
really nice guy. I went to school with him, and
I went, oh, that's nice for you know, I don't
need that in my life right now. Little cow Eyes
came up to the bar himself and said, oh, look,
i'd really like you to come to this ball with me.
And I said, I don't know you, you don't know me.
(07:20):
I said, you know but then by this stage and
it's tomorrow night, so I'm thinking desperate and I'm thinking.
I said, so if I go after the dinner, would
you mind if I left? And he said, like then,
I'm just thinking, oh, just do a favor like this
poor guy obviously has no date.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
And it's quite handsome.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Oh yeah, he flashed the pearly whites and the cat
and the cow eyes and he said, oh no, you can't.
It's on the South Stain. Now, the South Stain was
a boat that just was moored on the harbor as
an events and then we went out and dat's night
away actually.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
On the boat that doesn't move, on.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
The boat the nightclub.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah, did you think about making an early exit.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
After a couple of drinks? I was, holy fun.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Then your trialdbirth story is a unique one, and this
is this is jack because it was the same time
as a very special event that is considered by some
as being one of the most important in the history
of sport in Australia.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
It's up there. It's not for me because I'm a
manly fan and we're the ones who got beat right, Yeah,
but memorable for you have memorable. My parents were at
that grandfather. Yeah, yeah, and I've never hear the end
of it.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Timing wise, just so happened that the grandfather of coincided
with when you would do to give birth?
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Yes, yeah, just I was like a week out and
each game like you know, getting through the semis and
you know, thinking, oh, to the point where and do
not take this advice for people like I sort of
spoke to my obstruction. I said, what if I go
into labor? And he said, Trisha, a drink alcohol, like,
(09:02):
have a beer, have a beer to go close chocolate down.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Because obviously I'm not a doctor, like slug a cigar
as well?
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Really yeah wow, yeah, so I was allowed to go
and I have them a bit.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
And how how are you feeling when Newcastle is getting
closer and closer to that big event?
Speaker 5 (09:30):
I was focusing on having a baby. Everyone was focusing
on winning your priorities.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And was Jack born the day of.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
A week out? A week out? Yeah? So Matt had
finally come home. Yeah, right, Okay, there's been a few
phone calls.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Right, okay, so what do you mean my phone calls?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
It's time to come home now?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Is there any truth to the comment that I think mad?
He said, this that you tried to buy him from
entering the hospital.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
That is true. That okay. So I had Jack the Wednesday,
I think, went into labor the tuesday. Had Jack the Wednesday,
Thursday or lovely Friday. Matt thought that he should go
and with the baby's head because you haven't been drinking
enough after his celebrations, so he thought he deserved this.
I went, okay, took my car into town. Was meant
(10:29):
to not really, he was meant to drop at home
or do something anyway, he didn't. He left it in town,
which I was filthy about.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Smart.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Yeah. Came home to the hospital about nine o'clock and
they close up the hospital, and so he's ringing on
the bell and I'm saying to the nurses, don't let
him in, don't let him. Oh no, he's all right,
said no, he's not, like, don't let him in. I
hate him. They did. Not. Only that, then he orders
(11:05):
pizza and has it delivered to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Very good.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Oh it kills me. So then the next.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Morning were you hungry?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Though?
Speaker 5 (11:12):
At least nor was the baby. So then he's snoring.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
And you know, oh fuck, just passed out. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Though yes, yes, we'll have words with them.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
What's your take on winning your head since you did
so much work.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I think I went the head for either of mine.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Oh, ash, now you're getting major brownie.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, well I'm going to run with that. Then let's
stick to that.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I mean, Maria first, I was pretty good. Lola our second.
I was doing a show called Dancing with the Stars,
and so a couple of days after Lola was born,
I then left to go dance with a young twenty years.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Old Where's daddy dancing?
Speaker 5 (12:01):
So I was pretty sure Laura would have been thrilled.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
It didn't help when I came home and showed at
the footage of me doing like the rumba a young
dancer called Ruby. So I was, but I wasn't drinking.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Well, and officially you're working exactly, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yeah, I was providing for the family.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Did you have to sit in a chair or do
you have like one of those what sort of hospital
is that?
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Yeah, it was a good one.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Let him in after a couple let me order pizzas,
and then he just snore in his head off.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
When you compare your two boys, they're totally different. Yeah,
because Marley and Lola are very different in what ways
A Cooper and Jack different.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
Every way, the way they hold themselves, their moral compass.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Who was the easier one?
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Interesting enough, they were just different. I wouldn't say ones easier,
They're just different, different, different reasons. I think that I
worried less about Jack because I knew he was more responsible.
But again, I go back to that family order thing.
He's the eldest. He takes on all the responsibility too much.
(13:20):
You know, sometimes he gets weighted down by worrying about others,
whereas Cooper's not worrying about anyone.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Get you, Honestly, I picked that up when I'm standing
in front of both of them and talking about I
get exactly that where it's like Jack is he just
holds himself way more like he's the responsible.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Absolutely, And you know, the minutes he got his driver's license,
I think the first Friday night after that, I had
gone to lunch with some girlfriends. He drove found me
at my girlfriend's at midnight. Now, my dad, I think
it's time to come home Nowack.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, yeah, picking you that's actually a very big gentleman.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
It is such a gentleman.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Yeah, get sweet vibes.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah, what about when they were toddlers?
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Interesting because and I don't know if you guys have
ever found this, have you ever found with your children,
particularly if they're quite different. They're never naughty together. They're
always naughty at different times. It's sort of almost some
sort of a thing that happens. Yeah, so that parents
don't completely lose their minds. Yeah, one of them is
naughty or doing the wrong thing and the other one's good,
(14:36):
and then they'll flip. So there were just different times,
Like Jack was a really hard like didn't sleep, like
was on the go, and then I had a twenty
two months Cooper came along and he was this peaceful
angel that slept, just slept and ate and slept in
eight Oh. It's like everyone went, oh, you deserve this
(14:58):
and thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Different, I feel like there's a different. But however, when
we moved to England, something happened. I don't know what
it was. Cooper turned into this demon child.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
He just.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
He'd still sleep, but he just this hive of activity.
He just did not stop. And it took me and
I couldn't keep him in a pram. I'd have fifteen
minutes with him in a pram to run in and
do what I had to do and get back before
he was literally climbing out of it. Yeah, and oh,
just out of control. He was out of control. And
(15:37):
then Jack became this really good child because I think
he looked at him like, oh, he's really naughty. I
can't do this to her. And that just seems to
happen all the way through. But with Cooper and that behavior,
and it wasn't until probably another year later I worked
it out. And that was thankfully due to a girl
sort of must have noticed his behavior because he was
(15:58):
literally out of control. Control, like you.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Want to put him on a lead, out of control,
want to.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Lead like a runner? Yes, yeah, never lost him, but yeah,
just always doing the wrong thing. She recommended a book
called fed Up by Sue Dengate, And I do recommend
if anyone's sort of looking at their child, going this
isn't quite normal, honestly, and Cooper. So Cooper wouldn't have
(16:24):
one apple, he'd have three after the others. Now you
would think that's a good thing, right, A.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Three apples would keep away?
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Yeah, And interestingly enough, retrospectively, I realize another time i'd
caught him sucking the toothpaste out.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Of the chain.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Now contained in both of those is like a naturally
forming chemical solicelates. Okay, and that's what he had a
food sensitivity.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Too, but just set him off.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
So three days I just eliminated everything. I did, a
whole lose even I think even strawberries may have a
lesser amount. I think it's the toothpasts.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I've never heard.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I've never heard of that.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
It's crazy what happened. So like I just what I did.
I've got to go in hard here because I see
my next thing was a psychiatrist him or may, I
don't know. I just eliminated his diet altogether. I got
rid of everything in the cupboard, colorings. I wasn't too
worried about sugar as much, but anything colored. And then
what I read about with the soliclates and another there's
(17:30):
another thing called amines that some kids can have sensitivity to,
which is containing bananas and processed meats. Okay, Yeah, so
I just eliminated everything three days, different child, different child.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Just compose, very clever, yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Crazy, no, fortunately, honestly. Okay, So I don't know how,
don't much.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
But what's his excuse now?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Though?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, what's happenings? Back on the apple? If I ever
seen an apple, I'm going.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
To yes, a truth taste just suck.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Ah wow, So just just can't like what's what were
the different character characteristics?
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Just hyperactivity? Hyper activity that just stopped. He just became
this calm time.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
My kid loves apples.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
You're in trouble, yes, but are they hyperactive?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I'm curious.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
It might be something to just try.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Maybe I'll get cut them off the apples.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
Did I replace it with something else?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Did he ever get apple with your rolls? We just
forget about it.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
And then he knew as he grew up peoples allowed
to have apples school.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
I think sometimes I let him have a red apple
just to see if that did anything, and I think
it was okay, but it was particularly green.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
That's the thing in the case.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
An apple a day keeps the doctor, not in his
case the day he is going to bring the doctor straight.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Whoever, I think of parenting, Yes, Marley and Lawla are
four and five at the moment. Ash's kids a similar age.
I can't imagine what it would be like not parenting
really young kids. And I always find it interesting talking
to parents who have older children of what we have
waiting for us in the years to come. When you
look at all the years, the twenty odd years that
(19:20):
you've been a parent, Now what phase was the easiest
and what phase was the hardest.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
I don't know. At the moment, it's pretty bloody hard
that we're all living together, working together.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Because let's talk about the fact that I don't know
if this is good news or bad news, but you've
welcomed the boys back home after they moved out.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Yes, after they both lived in separate cities for five years.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
He came back first.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Jack came back first, and then went again, and then
Cooper came back, which meant he got the good room,
which is a pretty dirty about which was Jack Soldwen
and Jack came back.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
What's that like as a parent having the kids back
in the nest?
Speaker 5 (20:05):
Look, I thought I'd love it, you know, being the
good Italian mother, thinking, oh, you know, they can stay forever,
you know, bring the family, bring everyone. However, they bring
their own rules back with them that they think that
they're now entitled to, and you know, they say, no,
(20:27):
it's not your house, Trish, it's our house. It's not
your house. It's our house. You know, my house not
your houns. So you know, you try and walk this
careful balance of you get a tarryanism, but you know
you just want to say, you know what, it's my house,
it's my rules.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You mentioned Jack came back twice.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yes, Now, my mum had a rule where if we
left and came back and left again, that means we'd
left for the final time.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
Obviously they didn't leave by choice of football. Yeah, they left.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
I don't think my mum would stand by that. Is
that why you accepted them back?
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Okay? And would you have them back every time or
do you think there's a there's a line?
Speaker 5 (21:10):
Yeah? No, come on, I think I have them back
every time. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Have they got any bad habits now that they're living
with you.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Cooper is an absolute pig. I see that absolute pig
his clothes like. Cooper was this meticulous child who in
the car on the way home from school he'd be
doing his homework. So that was done like it was
O c D. It was OCD as a child. Well,
he lost that somewhere in Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I don't he probably picked up the apples again, Oh,
go on with it.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
So he would tidy his room and close the door
so no one would go in as a child, so
no one would go in and mess it up. Okay,
now you close the door because it's such a mess
you don't want anyone to see it. I know what happened.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Let go of that. Oc. The human brain is crazy.
Somewhere along the way he was like, yeah, I give up.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
It's not clean. Nothing bad happens, so you know it's okay.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
As apparents older boys then, because the boy's in their
late twenties now.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
About twenty six and twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Yeah, can you enforce rules upon them? How does that go?
Speaker 5 (22:23):
It's tough.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Can you ground them?
Speaker 3 (22:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (22:28):
No, no, I can't ground I tried. What if I tried?
I've tried. I tried not cooking for a while.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
How did that go?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
I liked it?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I liked a lot. Everyone was starting, Oh.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
No, it's uber delivery is constant.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, it's hard to take their electronics away from that.
You don't want to take the electronics. You don't want
to check the history. You don't know what's on there.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Yeah, I don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I think you should try ground.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I mean I crack it every now and again.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
With my mom likes certain points where it's like, okay,
I can't push it any further.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Do they respect it when you go when you cross that?
Speaker 5 (23:07):
Yes, they know, they know.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, And who's more receptive to that? Jack or Cooper both?
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Actually okay, yeah yeah. Cooper even as a young fellow,
like always knew he push push, push, push and then
but okay, yeah, whereas Jack woodsn't pushing those boundaries.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, does Jack have any bad habits?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
He could be a little tidier, but you know, I
have seen a vast improvement. Yeah, that's okay. And I
think that's more to do with his girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Right, and the girlfriends allowed to stay over or they've
got to stay okay, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I understand.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
The dynamics of.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I'm going to have three daughters now we are third
is going to be a girl.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Oh wow, congratulations, you know, thank you very much. Did
you know with the others as well?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
No, that was surprised at birth, But I said to Laura,
we've got to find out. So I just want to
I just want to know. I did want to have
a boy, but same time. I'm also happy to have
three girls.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
It's lovely.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
You're on the other end of the spectrumhere, you've got
two boys. Did you want to have girls? Were you
happy to have two boys?
Speaker 5 (24:09):
Couldn't bother me? All I wanted was a healthy child. Yeah,
I was well aware of what's involved in having a child.
Do you know what I mean? As in having a
baby and everything that has to go right to you know,
get a healthy child.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Is it hard being in a household where you've got
a lot of testosterone?
Speaker 5 (24:27):
Very hard?
Speaker 1 (24:28):
How do you care?
Speaker 5 (24:29):
Very hard?
Speaker 3 (24:29):
How do you keep your identity with so much testosterone
pumping through those walls.
Speaker 5 (24:34):
I spend a lot of time away from them. Yeah, yeah,
I spent a lot of time in my room. That's
my little oasis, and it's like, don't come leave me,
leave me. And I hang out with my girlfriends a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:49):
And funnily enough, I have a lot of girlfriends who
have a lot of boys as well. So thank you there. Yeah,
neighbor across the road has four boys.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Wow, you're escaping them together?
Speaker 5 (24:58):
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
I think about how protective I am of my kids,
and I think it's got to be so tough like
sport in Australia and especially coming from a pedigree with
the surname John's, you know, there's such high expectation. What's
it like as a mum with your two boys playing
professional sport playing NRL?
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Well they did, yet they're both retired now.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Yet how is it trying to protect them when there's
so much criticism Every player receives it.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Yeah, you just have to ignore it, like really, actually,
there's no other way. I mean, you're not going to
fight everyone. And and the thing is a lot of
these people that have so much to say, they've got
no idea. Yeah, I would have more idea about football
than they do, do you know what I mean, which
is not saying a lot. So yeah, you've just got
to like realize that, you know, you can't fight their
(25:47):
battles for them. And they wouldn't want me to either,
you know what I mean, They wouldn't want that to Yeah. Yeah,
they're very strong willed, independent young men.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, and they see it like there's the times that
I've spent with and they seen very much aware of
themselves that they don't they don't they don't take it
on with them too much.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
But I mean, I don't see that.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I don't see you know, behind the closed doors or
having them having to deal with that. So yeah, I
can't imagine someone you know, like especially it's like a
couch quarterback trying to tell me how ship my kid is,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
Actually, last week on the podcast, Cooper went down to
and spent a couple of days with Matt's grandparents in Ses.
It's on the Family podcast. He was telling us all
the stories. Oh my god, I hadn't even heard some
of them. So there was one where Matt's under ten's
coach had a little bit of feedback that he shared
with Gazz. Matt having talent, but he was just a
(26:45):
bit lazy. He was wasn't doing enough, and Gaz jobbed him, what.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yes, just straight up it's wild.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I was like, oh, imagine if you did that these days, I.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Don't think gas took it so well.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
While time just getting dropped, people pumping gas in.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Beiginnis, so it sounds time to be alive.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
If you ask me, do you know what?
Speaker 5 (27:16):
I actually look at you guys, I think you've got
a lot harder really to say that in what way
the technological they're parenting our kids technically, social media, all
the expectations status even I think that's become a bigger thing.
(27:38):
Like there's a lot more pressure on parents to you know,
provide more things for their kids, and I think that's
crazy instead of just living healthy, simple lives.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I think comparison culture is definitely more rife now online
and kids are a nightmare in that all kids have
this insatiable appetite for more and more and more. But
you could give I give my daughter a unicorn and
she'd be like, I want to yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
And I think it's hard now that for kids to
just be kids, right, you know when like when my
parents talk about their childhood and my childhood, it was
sort of.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Is like get out in the backyard, mate, Like get
out of here and be a kid, you know, and
climb trees and have fun with your maids, and with
your maids you can't it's like.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
And get doty. Yeah, it's like French cricket.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
It's hard now.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I think that for them really because they've got yeah,
there's all these all this technology around them, but it's hard.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
They sort of lose that identity of being a kid
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
So I do. I think it's a lot harder for you.
I look at parents now and I go, WHOA, how
would how would I manage those things? And I think
that in itself is a full time job.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
See.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
At the same time, I look at you in your
era of parenting and I'm like, oh God, you didn't
have like you didn't have deliveries on your phone, you
didn't have this so many parts of parenting that I'm like,
you guys had it so much tougher than us.
Speaker 5 (28:58):
Yeah, I must say, I do look at parents and
the kids are sitting there quietly with iPad.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
There's there's your side is going down, which I had that.
Then there's the other side of going How how could
they do that to their kid? How could they do that?
It's like easy, you just press.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Know we also as well, though, because they don't know
how to regulate. So when they're watching something so locked in,
we can detach from the emotion. They don't detach from
the emotion. They're like I know with my with Oscar,
he's just like locked in.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
And whatever the emotions happening on the screen, he is
that emotion. What's he into anything? Violent?
Speaker 5 (29:41):
Really?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
No, Look, he's a Little Mario Kart, really Pokemon, you know, cartoons,
all that sort of stuff, And like YouTube is a
tricky one because I feel that they can easily be
taken on a different p to something the algorithm can.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, so actual kids, bro, Yeah, same thing.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I feel like every now and then I'll look over
and I'll be like, it's probably not the best for
him to be watching two kids car crash, car crash,
And I had two kids sort of fighting with figurines
right before.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yeah, you gotta be careful of those. Yeah, but it's
just one difference. True.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Is it twenty thirteen? You had a diagnosis that is
one that no one wants to receive, breast cancer?
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Was it twenty thirteen?
Speaker 5 (30:29):
Yeah, it was the end of twenty twelve actually, and
then I had all my treatment in twenty thirteen.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
So what led up to the moment where you did
get diagnosed.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
I found a little lump, and I'd had a lump before.
My mum had had breast cancer, but that was sort
of in her older age, and so I do only
just turned forty and ish ish And I'm.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Going to sound really stupid here, but it is in
the shower or how did you discover the lump.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
It was a really it was just like right there,
like it was like prominent. Yeah. And because I'd had
a lot previously, I was meant to go and have
scans regularly, but I'd changed doctors, we'd moved, and I
just I lost track. It's not critical lost, I lost track,
lost track of time. Thought I was sort of, oh no,
I'm still you know, within the time to go and
(31:20):
have this scan. And then and I just felt this
little like like they describe it a.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Little p yeah, right, that's small.
Speaker 5 (31:27):
And then but wait for the story. This is and
this is why I would say to people and don't wait.
I mean they have mammograms and things for people at fifty.
Go when you're younger. Yeah, okay, go when you're younger.
Just ask your doctor to send you for an ultrasound younger,
because all you've got is if you can get in
(31:49):
early and preventative, like you don't want it spreading.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah, I'll preface this with that is advice you should take.
Speaker 5 (31:56):
It is absolutely advice you should.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
That's really good too. Like I think like the message is.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
I don't think you're too young for sure.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Yeah, So did you your gut before you got those results.
What were you thinking it was going to be.
Speaker 5 (32:09):
So I went to the doctor and I said, oh,
I've got this little lump. He went, oh, no, that's
my thing, he said, but you were overdue for your scan.
I went, okay, cool, So off I go, just you know,
ticking the boxes, thinking yeah, And they did the mammogram nothing.
I should have been alerted when they called a doctrine
the ultrasound thing, yeah, I still didn't really like.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, unless you really experienced in doing that all the time,
you're not really sure really.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Yeah. So and they came in. No one said anything though,
like they just got someone else in, and I was like,
all right, And then that little lump that I felt
wasn't anything. Look, and this is why I say, go
and have an ultrasound, despite what your doctor will say.
You have to take your own health into your own hands.
They'd have never found my lump without an ultrasound. I
(32:59):
couldn't have felt it. Wow behind the nipple, yeah, oh wow, question. Yeah,
the p was nothing. And and my surgeon actually still
to this day said, I said, well, what was that
was that? Like a little lymph no that you know,
triggered by the lump and he goes he said, I
don't know, he said, but no, it's nothing. And but
after I had the lump removed, it went so to me,
(33:21):
it's it was I like to think that it's my
my family who's passed looking out for me.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Actually I just got goosebumps.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Yeah that's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Yeah, Wow, it's crazy, like when you're here.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
It wasn't for it wasn't for the nine thing, then
you never would have found that was really working. Yeah,
and so when you when the doctor comes in, what
do they what do they say to you? How is
that news delivered?
Speaker 5 (33:42):
Well, actually I got mine over the phone because he.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So GP. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
Anyway, but I knew a surgeon, so I hadn't really
made an I'd spoken to MP and he said, I'll
just bring you scans in and I'll have a look
with This is before anyone had said anything to me.
And and I was on the way to that appointment
when the doctor ray and said are you going to
that appointment? I said, oh, yeah, I'm on my way now,
thinking I'm just again being very thorough. He went, yeah,
(34:09):
you need to go. It is cat threats, which wasn't great.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
As I was driving as blunt as that. Yeah, yeah,
I suppose they kind of got to be right.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
Well, yeah, I mean, I I feel maybe he thought that,
maybe I thought it was something, but I didn't because
I'd made this appointment to go and see the session.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
What does it feel like hearing those words?
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (34:30):
It was more than I would have thought that. How
I reacted, Yeah, I just yeah, burst into tears. Yeah,
and I was in the car on my own.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
So yeah, the conversation with your family around the news
you got, how did that go down?
Speaker 5 (34:46):
I rang that straight away and he said to me
to come. I said, look, no, like this is just
meeting anyway, just no bit. And then I didn't tell anyone.
I didn't tell anyone for ages.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Why.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
I just didn't feel the need to. I didn't, and
I we didn't tell the boys. They were only quite
young at the time, like Coop might have been twelve,
I might have been fifteenth. Yere So I went in
for the first surgery, and then I had to go
back in for another one. And it was after the
second surgery Matt told the boys, which I hadn't consented to,
(35:21):
but he felt that they needed to know when they
got home that they had to be on sort of
best behavior.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
And how did they respond to the news with yourself
when you came back home?
Speaker 5 (35:34):
Very interesting. Cooper was really frightened. He was just frightened.
He was just frightened. He is like, you know, you're
going to die? What's going on? You know? I said no, no, no,
do treatment, you know, but it's going to be a
bit of a you know, a bit of a swell
and Jack never said anything, and he just kind of
got a little angry, a little angry.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
True, different reactions.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Which you at the kind of situation.
Speaker 5 (35:58):
Just a bit inconvenient and that's its relative to the age. Yeah, yeah,
and that's quite normal sort of reactions.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
And so there after you have that initial surgery, do
they tell you all your success right here of you know,
beating this cancer is X amount? And how much information
do they give you about that?
Speaker 5 (36:18):
Well, what I learned when I had breast cancer is
that there's a whole lot of different types of breast cancer,
which I didn't know that beforehand. And there's all these
there's just a merry out of tests that you then
have to go through. You know, whether it's an estrogen positive,
whether it's progesteron positive and that determines the treatment. And
you have to check node involvement because once it sort
(36:40):
of gets to your lymph nodes, it starts traveling through body.
So you don't want that. And that's why I say,
go as as you possibly can. You don't want to
go into your lymph nodes. You just want to contain it.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
And how long was your treatment for?
Speaker 5 (36:53):
Ah? That's six months?
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Ok?
Speaker 5 (36:55):
Yeah, chemo?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Yeah, I mean once you'd finish your treatment. And I mean,
how did they break the news see that we cancer
free or in remission?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
They do, actually, and to answer your question before when
you start, because it's all very you see this person now,
and then when that's done, you see this person then
on you know, then you go into your oncologies and
they do enter a whole lot of data into it,
some sort of computer program and they give you some
(37:28):
sort of percentage like survival percentage, right. But I did
notice they always kept saying, oh, five years, hang on
beyond five years, you know, five years, Son's over ten now,
so I have to be on medication for ten years?
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Oh wow?
Speaker 5 (37:42):
Yeah? Because my cancer was estrogen fed yea.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
And so when you have beaten cancer. Do you celebrate,
do you have a party or is it just like
we get.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
On with it? You went ahead, mat.
Speaker 5 (37:54):
No, No, I know I think you still always have
it there, a little bit little fear. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
well because you know how quickly things can change. I
think that's what it is. One minute you're living your life.
And I wasn't sick. I didn't feel on well, I
didn't think. And that's the irony too, that you know,
once you start chemo and stuff, they're making you sick. Yeah,
(38:15):
they don't actually, And that's like a real mind game
that happens.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Do you remember what the sickness felt like from chemo?
Speaker 5 (38:23):
I was actually I had a lot of friends who
are in the medical profession and they just said, Trisha,
take all the drugs, take the program, drugs that they say,
and that will minimize it. So I didn't feel nauseous
so much like a lot of people. And you know,
half of that was one type of chemotherapy in the
the second half was a different kind of chemotherapy. The
second half one that wasn't very pleasant, that just got
(38:45):
all your joints in your body and you felt like
you had the flu all the time. Yeah, Achy.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
I grew up with my mum losing friends to breast cancer.
So I think I love your thought process of the
fact that it was your loved ones looking out for you.
Speaker 5 (39:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
I think it's it's amazing that you come through the
other end and you've beaten it. It's well done.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Yeah, congratulations and thank you so much for sharing that,
and our listeners for sure that advice to go early
will resonate with them because I.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
Would never and again I was only doing it to
sort of tick the box too. Yeah. I'm done for
another two years, be fine, So that's quite short.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Yeah, Trish, we always like to end the question the
show with a question. We like to end the show
on a question. And it's unique because your boys have
kind of done this a few times, but it's when
they have left the.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Nest again and for the last time will come.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Is there anything you would like them to remember about
the house they grew up in.
Speaker 5 (39:49):
Yeah, yeah, I want them to remember that dinner time
was the time where we all came together. We sat
at the table and one of my favorite thing things
to do, and we didn't do it all the time,
but it was like you're high low and everyone has
to give a high low of their day all the
week it might be, and you just get two bits
(40:12):
of information you know that aren't forthcoming otherwise. Particularly boys
don't come out and tell you everything all the time.
Although I did love the car trip home from school,
plased to get all the gosspep because they'd be talking
to you. That's been so yeah, So that's well.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
From the sidelines, it looks like you guys have a
lot of fun. I'm sure there's a lot of arguments
that we don't see, but that's.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
Part of the funny, isn't it. Does everyone get on
all the time? That's unrealistic. I would think that would
be boring and eye bragang, what's going on there? Something
we someone's not happy in that relationship going okay?
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Boys, you know, I think when you can argue and
then make fun of the argument later, we love that.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Is the best.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
It's like you've completely moved on from it and someone
will say something and you'd be like, oh, just like
when you're angry before.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
And just to poke the bed.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
I think that shows that you're so comfortable with your
family that you know you can just about say anything
to each other.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
Pretty much like We've often gone into do our Family
podcast and not talking like Matt Night a number of times. Yeah,
and I'm not even looking at him that it might
have been days. This is gonna be awkward. And then
after the first time went all actually it works, and
(41:38):
then like he can't help himself. He's always the one
that the ice. I'm the stubborn one.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, I see that with me. Yeah, just a little bit, yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's can't bear it.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
It's been a pleasure having the matriarch.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
Now I have I do have gifts. I have gifts
for you. The boys have now these are not available.
These are like special backstage podcast from Maddy.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
John Trudition's just brought out too beautiful and although I've
got a question the color Maron Manly.
Speaker 5 (42:12):
Oh, they go perfect for you. Perfect, It looks lovely
on you. Who do you support?
Speaker 1 (42:16):
I'm from Brisbane. I'm from Brisbane.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
So he works for the Broncos too, he works for
the Broncos.
Speaker 5 (42:23):
Head was and these what do you got here? Okay?
These are really special. So on the Family podcast some
time ago, we had an incident when Matt was telling
us about the time he had to stop through saying
ives and pee, but there was nowhere to pee. Here's
a bladder issue.
Speaker 4 (42:43):
The man.
Speaker 5 (42:46):
He had some cameboid boots. He thank god, in his boot,
so he grabbed one and he's in his car peeing
in his boot.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
No, that is the strangest. Just get out and pee
the bush.
Speaker 5 (42:56):
Yeah, I think there were kids around.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I don't think you money, You can't walking around the
park with your dickhout.
Speaker 5 (43:02):
So I went on. I think, and there are these
things called we don't want to do that. It's a
portable urinal, so I thought that might be handy for
you guys, and I thought either for the kids.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
I love that I get it.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
I love that I get to take away from this
interview that the John's family got me a portable urine.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Look at that you could do other things with it.
That's that's far too big for me.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
Well, you know, you never know how much tell you
one going on to at any one given moment.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
That is.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Unnecessary but extremely thoughtful.
Speaker 5 (43:40):
Keep it in the car.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Honestly, think this is one of the best gifts I've
ever been given.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Welcome and also, if you play thirsty, you can.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
Well look cood as long as you haven't been using it.
It's I brought them, made sure they were in the
plastic for you, so it wasn't secondhand.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So KUPA isn't weeding this one. No, no, no, he's
got one in their dreams. That is like, that's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
I'm going to give it a go, report back, Okay,
I won't send it back to your hours with.
Speaker 5 (44:10):
Don't pull too hard on the end.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yeah, I might take it to magic round with me.
Speaker 5 (44:13):
It did come often.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I might take it to a magic round with me
and whip it out in front of Cooper and see
what he says.
Speaker 5 (44:18):
Ye.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Thanks for having me again.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Thank you so much for jumping on and sharing the
John's family and yourself and of course your story about
breast cancer is going to be real beneficial listeners, So
thank you.
Speaker 5 (44:33):
You'd like to take your own health into your own
hands for sure? The doctor says no, you're too young
to say yeah, but I still want to have a
good advice.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Sound soul, squeaky wheel like it's the oil exactly truth.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Appreciate it, Matt.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
That was delightful. I wills and we've got gifts at
the end as well.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
I forgot what it was. I'm actually gonna use my
mind to drink out of divers And remember, please please take.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Trisha's advice which is really really important, and go and
get yourself checked regularly.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
And not just mums but dads as well.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Early detection is key.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
And if you enjoyed this episode, any episode from Two
Doting Dance, we would absolutely love it. You love it
If you would give us a review, subscribe, maybe a
couple of comments, some feedback if you will on any
episodes and upper podcasts or Spotify or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Yes, join us on socials Two Doting Dads, Instagram, Facebook
and TikTok.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
And if there's any moms and if there's any mums
or dads out there that you would love us to interview,
please let us know. We'll do our best to hunt
them down.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Excuse me, I'd like a famous grandmother. Yeah, I'm into that.
I'm not in that way.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestrate Islander
peoples today
Matthew today, we are really lucky to sit down with.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I would say, the head of arguably one of the
most influential NRL families at current time.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Would you go as far as to say that she
is the matriarch?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I would took the words right out of her mouth.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
We are, of course talking about Trish John's. She is
a mother, a stretch shooter. Yes, she is married to
Mattie John's, but I reckon he's been in the spotlight
for long enough, and some of the kids, Jack and Cooper.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
She definitely deserves her own show. Yes, definitely.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
We're going to put her up on that pedestal where
she belongs, and we dive into her family life.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
What it's like navigating her kids coming back to the
nest in their late twenties.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Ah not now sounds like an absolute night.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But we also get into when Trish was diagnosed with
breast cancer.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She opens up about finding the lump, going through surgery
without telling the boys at first, and why she's so
passionate about women getting checked early.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Should we get into it, Let's do it.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.
I am Maddie jaysh.
Speaker 5 (01:15):
And and Trish Jones, and.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad, and there relatable. Now, Trish, we
have to say this line for legal reasons. We don't
give any advice. We're not allowed to never will never have.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Times that we have we've got in trouble, so we
just don't.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Those legal rules do not apply to guests, so you
are allowed to give advice and you'll have no legal
ramification loophole.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
I just like to say, you know, don't listen too
closely to what I have to say that because you know,
my children are still works.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
In progress and they're adults.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
We start off right at the beginning when you were
a young child. Yes, And I'm trying to figure out
ash I'm on the fence.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Do you think she was a good girl or a
naught a girl? I would say, my guess is you're
well behaved.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
As a child, And what's your guess.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Maybe I'm trying to get a read on you to
and I feel like there was a kind of mischievous
streak in you.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I think I might give you a little clue. I
was the last of seven children, seven seven.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Really, holy shit.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So they forgot that you existed a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
What's the gap in ages between one to seven?
Speaker 5 (02:35):
All that would be about eighteen years.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Wow, Jesus eighteen years because that's one of five.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
But not they're very close in years.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
All the others were close. And then I was well
after thoughts, Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Is is it good or bad?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Being one of seven?
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I loved it? Yeah, I love it, love it to
this day.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Yet brothers, sisters.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
There were two boys, there's only father thus remaining now
and five girls.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
So I imagine if you're one of seven, if you
do something wrong, I feel like there's too many kids
to really keep a close eye on things.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Is that the case?
Speaker 5 (03:15):
So what are you trying to say?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I feel like you could murder someone and your parents
would be like, oh, it's.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Not she would have done that. Yeah, no, was I.
I was a good girl. I was a very good girl. However,
I was very spirited.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Spirited.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
I was spirited. I was the risk taker, and which
is generally the youngest.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Child for sure. Definitely the first child is.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
Very sensible, takes on everyone responsibilities, and the youngest is
a little bit more of a free spirit.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
What would you take risks on.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Oh, just being whereas you know, for instance, coming on
this podcast, you know, just doing something like you know,
my my siblings were quite reserved.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
A sensible parent wouldn't accept their invitation. And you lived
near a petrol station.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
I lived right now. I grew up right next door
to a petrol station all my life, yes, your whole child, childhood.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yes. And was this in Newcastle?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
In Newcastle? Yeah, yeah right, yeah, rod at the bottom
of town. So you know every Friday and Saturday night,
you know, you're usually woken up to a car accident
at the intersection. Everyone get out, everyone, okay, all right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So what's it like having a petrol stations you're going
to backyard?
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Well, good on saturda afternoons and Sundays when they weren't open,
because that's when I'd be able to put my railer
skates on and go.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah too, yeah, playground and where.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
It was open. I thought this was like a joke,
But the people pumping gas.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
The hot cheeks pumping gas in short shorts and bikini tops.
Run me through that common This is the seventies. Yeah,
I kind of feel like it was. Yeah, images you
see you the seventies girls in short short.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, I thought it was a car wash though.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
You no, they were pumping gas.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, so what was your take on that?
Speaker 5 (05:15):
As a young girl, I thought it was amazing. I
would sit up in the mulberry tree, eating the mulberries
and just waving at the girls, you know, thinking when
I grow up, that's going to be me.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
And did that dream come true?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Not quite get yourself, service.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Mate, Yeah, that's true. It's never too late.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Well it probably is.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We should started up again, but with boys and girls
so we don't get any.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Flat Oh you know what.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Yeah, no, I think a boy pumping gas is there's
something in that.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
It's definitely.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Younger and young jack down the local BP.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Yeah, they were fundraiser, you know, if it doesn't work
out for him at least And so they were working
a full like nine to five shift just pumping gas. No,
I don't think so. I don't think it was scial hours.
I think so. Yeah. Clever all days.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Very clever. And you met Maddie at quite a young.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Age, I think twenties.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
He talks through how you came across.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
I just started working in a restaurant actually, Jessicinish junior
and I was saving to go traveling. It was I
think it was my second shift, and I was put
in charge of opening all the bottles of wine because
I couldn't open a bottle of wine. I'm very good
at opening then and now true Chops came in there.
He literally was the first guy that came in, and
he was standing beside me at the bar.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
And then actually an old fellow asked me out on
his behalf.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
He didn't even do it in person, some old.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
One to do his dirty work, and can you give
this note to the lady.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Which I had politely decline.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
How are you proposition?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Would you just like to go out to a ball
the following evening?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
You decline? I declined, it's always when you're not looking.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
And you're not wanting. Yeah. And then anyway, one of
the guys I worked with were no, he's actually a
really nice guy. I went to school with him, and
I went, oh, that's nice for you know, I don't
need that in my life right now. Little cow Eyes
came up to the bar himself and said, oh, look,
i'd really like you to come to this ball with me.
And I said, I don't know you, you don't know me.
(07:20):
I said, you know but then by this stage and
it's tomorrow night, so I'm thinking desperate and I'm thinking.
I said, so if I go after the dinner, would
you mind if I left? And he said, like then,
I'm just thinking, oh, just do a favor like this
poor guy obviously has no date.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
And it's quite handsome.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Oh yeah, he flashed the pearly whites and the cat
and the cow eyes and he said, oh no, you can't.
It's on the South Stain. Now, the South Stain was
a boat that just was moored on the harbor as
an events and then we went out and dat's night
away actually.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
On the boat that doesn't move, on.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
The boat the nightclub.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah, did you think about making an early exit.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
After a couple of drinks? I was, holy fun.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Then your trialdbirth story is a unique one, and this
is this is jack because it was the same time
as a very special event that is considered by some
as being one of the most important in the history
of sport in Australia.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
It's up there. It's not for me because I'm a
manly fan and we're the ones who got beat right, Yeah,
but memorable for you have memorable. My parents were at
that grandfather. Yeah, yeah, and I've never hear the end
of it.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Timing wise, just so happened that the grandfather of coincided
with when you would do to give birth?
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Yes, yeah, just I was like a week out and
each game like you know, getting through the semis and
you know, thinking, oh, to the point where and do
not take this advice for people like I sort of
spoke to my obstruction. I said, what if I go
into labor? And he said, Trisha, a drink alcohol, like,
(09:02):
have a beer, have a beer to go close chocolate down.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Because obviously I'm not a doctor, like slug a cigar
as well?
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Really yeah wow, yeah, so I was allowed to go
and I have them a bit.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
And how how are you feeling when Newcastle is getting
closer and closer to that big event?
Speaker 5 (09:30):
I was focusing on having a baby. Everyone was focusing
on winning your priorities.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And was Jack born the day of.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
A week out? A week out? Yeah? So Matt had
finally come home. Yeah, right, Okay, there's been a few
phone calls.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Right, okay, so what do you mean my phone calls?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
It's time to come home now?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Is there any truth to the comment that I think mad?
He said, this that you tried to buy him from
entering the hospital.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
That is true. That okay. So I had Jack the Wednesday,
I think, went into labor the tuesday. Had Jack the Wednesday,
Thursday or lovely Friday. Matt thought that he should go
and with the baby's head because you haven't been drinking
enough after his celebrations, so he thought he deserved this.
I went, okay, took my car into town. Was meant
(10:29):
to not really, he was meant to drop at home
or do something anyway, he didn't. He left it in town,
which I was filthy about.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Smart.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Yeah. Came home to the hospital about nine o'clock and
they close up the hospital, and so he's ringing on
the bell and I'm saying to the nurses, don't let
him in, don't let him. Oh no, he's all right,
said no, he's not, like, don't let him in. I
hate him. They did. Not. Only that, then he orders
(11:05):
pizza and has it delivered to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Very good.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Oh it kills me. So then the next.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Morning were you hungry?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Though?
Speaker 5 (11:12):
At least nor was the baby. So then he's snoring.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
And you know, oh fuck, just passed out. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Though yes, yes, we'll have words with them.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
What's your take on winning your head since you did
so much work.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I think I went the head for either of mine.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Oh, ash, now you're getting major brownie.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, well I'm going to run with that. Then let's
stick to that.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I mean, Maria first, I was pretty good. Lola our second.
I was doing a show called Dancing with the Stars,
and so a couple of days after Lola was born,
I then left to go dance with a young twenty years.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Old Where's daddy dancing?
Speaker 5 (12:01):
So I was pretty sure Laura would have been thrilled.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
It didn't help when I came home and showed at
the footage of me doing like the rumba a young
dancer called Ruby. So I was, but I wasn't drinking.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Well, and officially you're working exactly, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yeah, I was providing for the family.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Did you have to sit in a chair or do
you have like one of those what sort of hospital
is that?
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Yeah, it was a good one.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Let him in after a couple let me order pizzas,
and then he just snore in his head off.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
When you compare your two boys, they're totally different. Yeah,
because Marley and Lola are very different in what ways
A Cooper and Jack different.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
Every way, the way they hold themselves, their moral compass.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Who was the easier one?
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Interesting enough, they were just different. I wouldn't say ones easier,
They're just different, different, different reasons. I think that I
worried less about Jack because I knew he was more responsible.
But again, I go back to that family order thing.
He's the eldest. He takes on all the responsibility too much.
(13:20):
You know, sometimes he gets weighted down by worrying about others,
whereas Cooper's not worrying about anyone.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Get you, Honestly, I picked that up when I'm standing
in front of both of them and talking about I
get exactly that where it's like Jack is he just
holds himself way more like he's the responsible.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Absolutely, And you know, the minutes he got his driver's license,
I think the first Friday night after that, I had
gone to lunch with some girlfriends. He drove found me
at my girlfriend's at midnight. Now, my dad, I think
it's time to come home Nowack.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, yeah, picking you that's actually a very big gentleman.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
It is such a gentleman.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Yeah, get sweet vibes.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah, what about when they were toddlers?
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Interesting because and I don't know if you guys have
ever found this, have you ever found with your children,
particularly if they're quite different. They're never naughty together. They're
always naughty at different times. It's sort of almost some
sort of a thing that happens. Yeah, so that parents
don't completely lose their minds. Yeah, one of them is
naughty or doing the wrong thing and the other one's good,
(14:36):
and then they'll flip. So there were just different times,
Like Jack was a really hard like didn't sleep, like
was on the go, and then I had a twenty
two months Cooper came along and he was this peaceful
angel that slept, just slept and ate and slept in
eight Oh. It's like everyone went, oh, you deserve this
(14:58):
and thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Different, I feel like there's a different. But however, when
we moved to England, something happened. I don't know what
it was. Cooper turned into this demon child.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
He just.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
He'd still sleep, but he just this hive of activity.
He just did not stop. And it took me and
I couldn't keep him in a pram. I'd have fifteen
minutes with him in a pram to run in and
do what I had to do and get back before
he was literally climbing out of it. Yeah, and oh,
just out of control. He was out of control. And
(15:37):
then Jack became this really good child because I think
he looked at him like, oh, he's really naughty. I
can't do this to her. And that just seems to
happen all the way through. But with Cooper and that behavior,
and it wasn't until probably another year later I worked
it out. And that was thankfully due to a girl
sort of must have noticed his behavior because he was
(15:58):
literally out of control. Control, like you.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Want to put him on a lead, out of control,
want to.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Lead like a runner? Yes, yeah, never lost him, but yeah,
just always doing the wrong thing. She recommended a book
called fed Up by Sue Dengate, And I do recommend
if anyone's sort of looking at their child, going this
isn't quite normal, honestly, and Cooper. So Cooper wouldn't have
(16:24):
one apple, he'd have three after the others. Now you
would think that's a good thing, right, A.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Three apples would keep away?
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Yeah, And interestingly enough, retrospectively, I realize another time i'd
caught him sucking the toothpaste out.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Of the chain.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Now contained in both of those is like a naturally
forming chemical solicelates. Okay, and that's what he had a
food sensitivity.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Too, but just set him off.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
So three days I just eliminated everything. I did, a
whole lose even I think even strawberries may have a
lesser amount. I think it's the toothpasts.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I've never heard.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I've never heard of that.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
It's crazy what happened. So like I just what I did.
I've got to go in hard here because I see
my next thing was a psychiatrist him or may, I
don't know. I just eliminated his diet altogether. I got
rid of everything in the cupboard, colorings. I wasn't too
worried about sugar as much, but anything colored. And then
what I read about with the soliclates and another there's
(17:30):
another thing called amines that some kids can have sensitivity to,
which is containing bananas and processed meats. Okay, Yeah, so
I just eliminated everything three days, different child, different child.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Just compose, very clever, yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Crazy, no, fortunately, honestly. Okay, So I don't know how,
don't much.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
But what's his excuse now?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Though?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, what's happenings? Back on the apple? If I ever
seen an apple, I'm going.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
To yes, a truth taste just suck.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Ah wow, So just just can't like what's what were
the different character characteristics?
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Just hyperactivity? Hyper activity that just stopped. He just became
this calm time.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
My kid loves apples.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
You're in trouble, yes, but are they hyperactive?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I'm curious.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
It might be something to just try.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Maybe I'll get cut them off the apples.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
Did I replace it with something else?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Did he ever get apple with your rolls? We just
forget about it.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
And then he knew as he grew up peoples allowed
to have apples school.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
I think sometimes I let him have a red apple
just to see if that did anything, and I think
it was okay, but it was particularly green.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
That's the thing in the case.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
An apple a day keeps the doctor, not in his
case the day he is going to bring the doctor straight.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Whoever, I think of parenting, Yes, Marley and Lawla are
four and five at the moment. Ash's kids a similar age.
I can't imagine what it would be like not parenting
really young kids. And I always find it interesting talking
to parents who have older children of what we have
waiting for us in the years to come. When you
look at all the years, the twenty odd years that
(19:20):
you've been a parent, Now what phase was the easiest
and what phase was the hardest.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
I don't know. At the moment, it's pretty bloody hard
that we're all living together, working together.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Because let's talk about the fact that I don't know
if this is good news or bad news, but you've
welcomed the boys back home after they moved out.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Yes, after they both lived in separate cities for five years.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
He came back first.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Jack came back first, and then went again, and then
Cooper came back, which meant he got the good room,
which is a pretty dirty about which was Jack Soldwen
and Jack came back.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
What's that like as a parent having the kids back
in the nest?
Speaker 5 (20:05):
Look, I thought I'd love it, you know, being the
good Italian mother, thinking, oh, you know, they can stay forever,
you know, bring the family, bring everyone. However, they bring
their own rules back with them that they think that
they're now entitled to, and you know, they say, no,
(20:27):
it's not your house, Trish, it's our house. It's not
your house. It's our house. You know, my house not
your houns. So you know, you try and walk this
careful balance of you get a tarryanism, but you know
you just want to say, you know what, it's my house,
it's my rules.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You mentioned Jack came back twice.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yes, Now, my mum had a rule where if we
left and came back and left again, that means we'd
left for the final time.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
Obviously they didn't leave by choice of football. Yeah, they left.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
I don't think my mum would stand by that. Is
that why you accepted them back?
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Okay? And would you have them back every time or
do you think there's a there's a line?
Speaker 5 (21:10):
Yeah? No, come on, I think I have them back
every time. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Have they got any bad habits now that they're living
with you.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Cooper is an absolute pig. I see that absolute pig
his clothes like. Cooper was this meticulous child who in
the car on the way home from school he'd be
doing his homework. So that was done like it was
O c D. It was OCD as a child. Well,
he lost that somewhere in Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I don't he probably picked up the apples again, Oh,
go on with it.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
So he would tidy his room and close the door
so no one would go in as a child, so
no one would go in and mess it up. Okay,
now you close the door because it's such a mess
you don't want anyone to see it. I know what happened.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Let go of that. Oc. The human brain is crazy.
Somewhere along the way he was like, yeah, I give up.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
It's not clean. Nothing bad happens, so you know it's okay.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
As apparents older boys then, because the boy's in their
late twenties now.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
About twenty six and twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Yeah, can you enforce rules upon them? How does that go?
Speaker 5 (22:23):
It's tough.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Can you ground them?
Speaker 3 (22:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (22:28):
No, no, I can't ground I tried. What if I tried?
I've tried. I tried not cooking for a while.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
How did that go?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
I liked it?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I liked a lot. Everyone was starting, Oh.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
No, it's uber delivery is constant.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, it's hard to take their electronics away from that.
You don't want to take the electronics. You don't want
to check the history. You don't know what's on there.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Yeah, I don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I think you should try ground.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I mean I crack it every now and again.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
With my mom likes certain points where it's like, okay,
I can't push it any further.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Do they respect it when you go when you cross that?
Speaker 5 (23:07):
Yes, they know, they know.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, And who's more receptive to that? Jack or Cooper both?
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Actually okay, yeah yeah. Cooper even as a young fellow,
like always knew he push push, push, push and then
but okay, yeah, whereas Jack woodsn't pushing those boundaries.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, does Jack have any bad habits?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
He could be a little tidier, but you know, I
have seen a vast improvement. Yeah, that's okay. And I
think that's more to do with his girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Right, and the girlfriends allowed to stay over or they've
got to stay okay, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I understand.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
The dynamics of.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I'm going to have three daughters now we are third
is going to be a girl.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Oh wow, congratulations, you know, thank you very much. Did
you know with the others as well?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
No, that was surprised at birth, But I said to Laura,
we've got to find out. So I just want to
I just want to know. I did want to have
a boy, but same time. I'm also happy to have
three girls.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
It's lovely.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
You're on the other end of the spectrumhere, you've got
two boys. Did you want to have girls? Were you
happy to have two boys?
Speaker 5 (24:09):
Couldn't bother me? All I wanted was a healthy child. Yeah,
I was well aware of what's involved in having a child.
Do you know what I mean? As in having a
baby and everything that has to go right to you know,
get a healthy child.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Is it hard being in a household where you've got
a lot of testosterone?
Speaker 5 (24:27):
Very hard?
Speaker 1 (24:28):
How do you care?
Speaker 5 (24:29):
Very hard?
Speaker 3 (24:29):
How do you keep your identity with so much testosterone
pumping through those walls.
Speaker 5 (24:34):
I spend a lot of time away from them. Yeah, yeah,
I spent a lot of time in my room. That's
my little oasis, and it's like, don't come leave me,
leave me. And I hang out with my girlfriends a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:49):
And funnily enough, I have a lot of girlfriends who
have a lot of boys as well. So thank you there. Yeah,
neighbor across the road has four boys.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Wow, you're escaping them together?
Speaker 5 (24:58):
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
I think about how protective I am of my kids,
and I think it's got to be so tough like
sport in Australia and especially coming from a pedigree with
the surname John's, you know, there's such high expectation. What's
it like as a mum with your two boys playing
professional sport playing NRL?
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Well they did, yet they're both retired now.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Yet how is it trying to protect them when there's
so much criticism Every player receives it.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Yeah, you just have to ignore it, like really, actually,
there's no other way. I mean, you're not going to
fight everyone. And and the thing is a lot of
these people that have so much to say, they've got
no idea. Yeah, I would have more idea about football
than they do, do you know what I mean, which
is not saying a lot. So yeah, you've just got
to like realize that, you know, you can't fight their
(25:47):
battles for them. And they wouldn't want me to either,
you know what I mean, They wouldn't want that to Yeah. Yeah,
they're very strong willed, independent young men.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, and they see it like there's the times that
I've spent with and they seen very much aware of
themselves that they don't they don't they don't take it
on with them too much.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
But I mean, I don't see that.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I don't see you know, behind the closed doors or
having them having to deal with that. So yeah, I
can't imagine someone you know, like especially it's like a
couch quarterback trying to tell me how ship my kid is,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
Actually, last week on the podcast, Cooper went down to
and spent a couple of days with Matt's grandparents in Ses.
It's on the Family podcast. He was telling us all
the stories. Oh my god, I hadn't even heard some
of them. So there was one where Matt's under ten's
coach had a little bit of feedback that he shared
with Gazz. Matt having talent, but he was just a
(26:45):
bit lazy. He was wasn't doing enough, and Gaz jobbed him, what.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yes, just straight up it's wild.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I was like, oh, imagine if you did that these days, I.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Don't think gas took it so well.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
While time just getting dropped, people pumping gas in.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Beiginnis, so it sounds time to be alive.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
If you ask me, do you know what?
Speaker 5 (27:16):
I actually look at you guys, I think you've got
a lot harder really to say that in what way
the technological they're parenting our kids technically, social media, all
the expectations status even I think that's become a bigger thing.
(27:38):
Like there's a lot more pressure on parents to you know,
provide more things for their kids, and I think that's
crazy instead of just living healthy, simple lives.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I think comparison culture is definitely more rife now online
and kids are a nightmare in that all kids have
this insatiable appetite for more and more and more. But
you could give I give my daughter a unicorn and
she'd be like, I want to yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
And I think it's hard now that for kids to
just be kids, right, you know when like when my
parents talk about their childhood and my childhood, it was
sort of.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Is like get out in the backyard, mate, Like get
out of here and be a kid, you know, and
climb trees and have fun with your maids, and with
your maids you can't it's like.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
And get doty. Yeah, it's like French cricket.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
It's hard now.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I think that for them really because they've got yeah,
there's all these all this technology around them, but it's hard.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
They sort of lose that identity of being a kid
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
So I do. I think it's a lot harder for you.
I look at parents now and I go, WHOA, how
would how would I manage those things? And I think
that in itself is a full time job.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
See.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
At the same time, I look at you in your
era of parenting and I'm like, oh God, you didn't
have like you didn't have deliveries on your phone, you
didn't have this so many parts of parenting that I'm like,
you guys had it so much tougher than us.
Speaker 5 (28:58):
Yeah, I must say, I do look at parents and
the kids are sitting there quietly with iPad.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
There's there's your side is going down, which I had that.
Then there's the other side of going How how could
they do that to their kid? How could they do that?
It's like easy, you just press.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Know we also as well, though, because they don't know
how to regulate. So when they're watching something so locked in,
we can detach from the emotion. They don't detach from
the emotion. They're like I know with my with Oscar,
he's just like locked in.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
And whatever the emotions happening on the screen, he is
that emotion. What's he into anything? Violent?
Speaker 5 (29:41):
Really?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
No, Look, he's a Little Mario Kart, really Pokemon, you know, cartoons,
all that sort of stuff, And like YouTube is a
tricky one because I feel that they can easily be
taken on a different p to something the algorithm can.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, so actual kids, bro, Yeah, same thing.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I feel like every now and then I'll look over
and I'll be like, it's probably not the best for
him to be watching two kids car crash, car crash,
And I had two kids sort of fighting with figurines
right before.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yeah, you gotta be careful of those. Yeah, but it's
just one difference. True.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Is it twenty thirteen? You had a diagnosis that is
one that no one wants to receive, breast cancer?
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Was it twenty thirteen?
Speaker 5 (30:29):
Yeah, it was the end of twenty twelve actually, and
then I had all my treatment in twenty thirteen.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
So what led up to the moment where you did
get diagnosed.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
I found a little lump, and I'd had a lump before.
My mum had had breast cancer, but that was sort
of in her older age, and so I do only
just turned forty and ish ish And I'm.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Going to sound really stupid here, but it is in
the shower or how did you discover the lump.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
It was a really it was just like right there,
like it was like prominent. Yeah. And because I'd had
a lot previously, I was meant to go and have
scans regularly, but I'd changed doctors, we'd moved, and I
just I lost track. It's not critical lost, I lost track,
lost track of time. Thought I was sort of, oh no,
I'm still you know, within the time to go and
(31:20):
have this scan. And then and I just felt this
little like like they describe it a.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Little p yeah, right, that's small.
Speaker 5 (31:27):
And then but wait for the story. This is and
this is why I would say to people and don't wait.
I mean they have mammograms and things for people at fifty.
Go when you're younger. Yeah, okay, go when you're younger.
Just ask your doctor to send you for an ultrasound younger,
because all you've got is if you can get in
(31:49):
early and preventative, like you don't want it spreading.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah, I'll preface this with that is advice you should take.
Speaker 5 (31:56):
It is absolutely advice you should.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
That's really good too. Like I think like the message is.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
I don't think you're too young for sure.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Yeah, So did you your gut before you got those results.
What were you thinking it was going to be.
Speaker 5 (32:09):
So I went to the doctor and I said, oh,
I've got this little lump. He went, oh, no, that's
my thing, he said, but you were overdue for your scan.
I went, okay, cool, So off I go, just you know,
ticking the boxes, thinking yeah, And they did the mammogram nothing.
I should have been alerted when they called a doctrine
the ultrasound thing, yeah, I still didn't really like.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, unless you really experienced in doing that all the time,
you're not really sure really.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Yeah. So and they came in. No one said anything though,
like they just got someone else in, and I was like,
all right, And then that little lump that I felt
wasn't anything. Look, and this is why I say, go
and have an ultrasound, despite what your doctor will say.
You have to take your own health into your own hands.
They'd have never found my lump without an ultrasound. I
(32:59):
couldn't have felt it. Wow behind the nipple, yeah, oh wow, question. Yeah,
the p was nothing. And and my surgeon actually still
to this day said, I said, well, what was that
was that? Like a little lymph no that you know,
triggered by the lump and he goes he said, I
don't know, he said, but no, it's nothing. And but
after I had the lump removed, it went so to me,
(33:21):
it's it was I like to think that it's my
my family who's passed looking out for me.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Actually I just got goosebumps.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Yeah that's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Yeah, Wow, it's crazy, like when you're here.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
It wasn't for it wasn't for the nine thing, then
you never would have found that was really working. Yeah,
and so when you when the doctor comes in, what
do they what do they say to you? How is
that news delivered?
Speaker 5 (33:42):
Well, actually I got mine over the phone because he.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So GP. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
Anyway, but I knew a surgeon, so I hadn't really
made an I'd spoken to MP and he said, I'll
just bring you scans in and I'll have a look
with This is before anyone had said anything to me.
And and I was on the way to that appointment
when the doctor ray and said are you going to
that appointment? I said, oh, yeah, I'm on my way now,
thinking I'm just again being very thorough. He went, yeah,
(34:09):
you need to go. It is cat threats, which wasn't great.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
As I was driving as blunt as that. Yeah, yeah,
I suppose they kind of got to be right.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
Well, yeah, I mean, I I feel maybe he thought that,
maybe I thought it was something, but I didn't because
I'd made this appointment to go and see the session.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
What does it feel like hearing those words?
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (34:30):
It was more than I would have thought that. How
I reacted, Yeah, I just yeah, burst into tears. Yeah,
and I was in the car on my own.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
So yeah, the conversation with your family around the news
you got, how did that go down?
Speaker 5 (34:46):
I rang that straight away and he said to me
to come. I said, look, no, like this is just
meeting anyway, just no bit. And then I didn't tell anyone.
I didn't tell anyone for ages.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Why.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
I just didn't feel the need to. I didn't, and
I we didn't tell the boys. They were only quite
young at the time, like Coop might have been twelve,
I might have been fifteenth. Yere So I went in
for the first surgery, and then I had to go
back in for another one. And it was after the
second surgery Matt told the boys, which I hadn't consented to,
(35:21):
but he felt that they needed to know when they
got home that they had to be on sort of
best behavior.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
And how did they respond to the news with yourself
when you came back home?
Speaker 5 (35:34):
Very interesting. Cooper was really frightened. He was just frightened.
He was just frightened. He is like, you know, you're
going to die? What's going on? You know? I said no, no, no,
do treatment, you know, but it's going to be a
bit of a you know, a bit of a swell
and Jack never said anything, and he just kind of
got a little angry, a little angry.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
True, different reactions.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Which you at the kind of situation.
Speaker 5 (35:58):
Just a bit inconvenient and that's its relative to the age. Yeah, yeah,
and that's quite normal sort of reactions.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
And so there after you have that initial surgery, do
they tell you all your success right here of you know,
beating this cancer is X amount? And how much information
do they give you about that?
Speaker 5 (36:18):
Well, what I learned when I had breast cancer is
that there's a whole lot of different types of breast cancer,
which I didn't know that beforehand. And there's all these
there's just a merry out of tests that you then
have to go through. You know, whether it's an estrogen positive,
whether it's progesteron positive and that determines the treatment. And
you have to check node involvement because once it sort
(36:40):
of gets to your lymph nodes, it starts traveling through body.
So you don't want that. And that's why I say,
go as as you possibly can. You don't want to
go into your lymph nodes. You just want to contain it.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
And how long was your treatment for?
Speaker 5 (36:53):
Ah? That's six months?
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Ok?
Speaker 5 (36:55):
Yeah, chemo?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Yeah, I mean once you'd finish your treatment. And I mean,
how did they break the news see that we cancer
free or in remission?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
They do, actually, and to answer your question before when
you start, because it's all very you see this person now,
and then when that's done, you see this person then
on you know, then you go into your oncologies and
they do enter a whole lot of data into it,
some sort of computer program and they give you some
(37:28):
sort of percentage like survival percentage, right. But I did
notice they always kept saying, oh, five years, hang on
beyond five years, you know, five years, Son's over ten now,
so I have to be on medication for ten years?
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Oh wow?
Speaker 5 (37:42):
Yeah? Because my cancer was estrogen fed yea.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
And so when you have beaten cancer. Do you celebrate,
do you have a party or is it just like
we get.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
On with it? You went ahead, mat.
Speaker 5 (37:54):
No, No, I know I think you still always have
it there, a little bit little fear. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
well because you know how quickly things can change. I
think that's what it is. One minute you're living your life.
And I wasn't sick. I didn't feel on well, I
didn't think. And that's the irony too, that you know,
once you start chemo and stuff, they're making you sick. Yeah,
(38:15):
they don't actually, And that's like a real mind game
that happens.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Do you remember what the sickness felt like from chemo?
Speaker 5 (38:23):
I was actually I had a lot of friends who
are in the medical profession and they just said, Trisha,
take all the drugs, take the program, drugs that they say,
and that will minimize it. So I didn't feel nauseous
so much like a lot of people. And you know,
half of that was one type of chemotherapy in the
the second half was a different kind of chemotherapy. The
second half one that wasn't very pleasant, that just got
(38:45):
all your joints in your body and you felt like
you had the flu all the time. Yeah, Achy.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
I grew up with my mum losing friends to breast cancer.
So I think I love your thought process of the
fact that it was your loved ones looking out for you.
Speaker 5 (39:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
I think it's it's amazing that you come through the
other end and you've beaten it. It's well done.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Yeah, congratulations and thank you so much for sharing that,
and our listeners for sure that advice to go early
will resonate with them because I.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
Would never and again I was only doing it to
sort of tick the box too. Yeah. I'm done for
another two years, be fine, So that's quite short.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Yeah, Trish, we always like to end the question the
show with a question. We like to end the show
on a question. And it's unique because your boys have
kind of done this a few times, but it's when
they have left the.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Nest again and for the last time will come.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Is there anything you would like them to remember about
the house they grew up in.
Speaker 5 (39:49):
Yeah, yeah, I want them to remember that dinner time
was the time where we all came together. We sat
at the table and one of my favorite thing things
to do, and we didn't do it all the time,
but it was like you're high low and everyone has
to give a high low of their day all the
week it might be, and you just get two bits
(40:12):
of information you know that aren't forthcoming otherwise. Particularly boys
don't come out and tell you everything all the time.
Although I did love the car trip home from school,
plased to get all the gosspep because they'd be talking
to you. That's been so yeah, So that's well.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
From the sidelines, it looks like you guys have a
lot of fun. I'm sure there's a lot of arguments
that we don't see, but that's.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
Part of the funny, isn't it. Does everyone get on
all the time? That's unrealistic. I would think that would
be boring and eye bragang, what's going on there? Something
we someone's not happy in that relationship going okay?
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Boys, you know, I think when you can argue and
then make fun of the argument later, we love that.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Is the best.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
It's like you've completely moved on from it and someone
will say something and you'd be like, oh, just like
when you're angry before.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
And just to poke the bed.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
I think that shows that you're so comfortable with your
family that you know you can just about say anything
to each other.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
Pretty much like We've often gone into do our Family
podcast and not talking like Matt Night a number of times. Yeah,
and I'm not even looking at him that it might
have been days. This is gonna be awkward. And then
after the first time went all actually it works, and
(41:38):
then like he can't help himself. He's always the one
that the ice. I'm the stubborn one.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, I see that with me. Yeah, just a little bit, yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's can't bear it.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
It's been a pleasure having the matriarch.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
Now I have I do have gifts. I have gifts
for you. The boys have now these are not available.
These are like special backstage podcast from Maddy.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
John Trudition's just brought out too beautiful and although I've
got a question the color Maron Manly.
Speaker 5 (42:12):
Oh, they go perfect for you. Perfect, It looks lovely
on you. Who do you support?
Speaker 1 (42:16):
I'm from Brisbane. I'm from Brisbane.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
So he works for the Broncos too, he works for
the Broncos.
Speaker 5 (42:23):
Head was and these what do you got here? Okay?
These are really special. So on the Family podcast some
time ago, we had an incident when Matt was telling
us about the time he had to stop through saying
ives and pee, but there was nowhere to pee. Here's
a bladder issue.
Speaker 4 (42:43):
The man.
Speaker 5 (42:46):
He had some cameboid boots. He thank god, in his boot,
so he grabbed one and he's in his car peeing
in his boot.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
No, that is the strangest. Just get out and pee
the bush.
Speaker 5 (42:56):
Yeah, I think there were kids around.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I don't think you money, You can't walking around the
park with your dickhout.
Speaker 5 (43:02):
So I went on. I think, and there are these
things called we don't want to do that. It's a
portable urinal, so I thought that might be handy for
you guys, and I thought either for the kids.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
I love that I get it.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
I love that I get to take away from this
interview that the John's family got me a portable urine.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Look at that you could do other things with it.
That's that's far too big for me.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
Well, you know, you never know how much tell you
one going on to at any one given moment.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
That is.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Unnecessary but extremely thoughtful.
Speaker 5 (43:40):
Keep it in the car.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Honestly, think this is one of the best gifts I've
ever been given.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Welcome and also, if you play thirsty, you can.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
Well look cood as long as you haven't been using it.
It's I brought them, made sure they were in the
plastic for you, so it wasn't secondhand.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So KUPA isn't weeding this one. No, no, no, he's
got one in their dreams. That is like, that's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
I'm going to give it a go, report back, Okay,
I won't send it back to your hours with.
Speaker 5 (44:10):
Don't pull too hard on the end.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yeah, I might take it to magic round with me.
Speaker 5 (44:13):
It did come often.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I might take it to a magic round with me
and whip it out in front of Cooper and see
what he says.
Speaker 5 (44:18):
Ye.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Thanks for having me again.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Thank you so much for jumping on and sharing the
John's family and yourself and of course your story about
breast cancer is going to be real beneficial listeners, So
thank you.
Speaker 5 (44:33):
You'd like to take your own health into your own
hands for sure? The doctor says no, you're too young
to say yeah, but I still want to have a
good advice.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Sound soul, squeaky wheel like it's the oil exactly truth.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Appreciate it, Matt.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
That was delightful. I wills and we've got gifts at
the end as well.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
I forgot what it was. I'm actually gonna use my
mind to drink out of divers And remember, please please take.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Trisha's advice which is really really important, and go and
get yourself checked regularly.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
And not just mums but dads as well.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Early detection is key.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
And if you enjoyed this episode, any episode from Two
Doting Dance, we would absolutely love it. You love it
If you would give us a review, subscribe, maybe a
couple of comments, some feedback if you will on any
episodes and upper podcasts or Spotify or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Yes, join us on socials Two Doting Dads, Instagram, Facebook
and TikTok.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
And if there's any moms and if there's any mums
or dads out there that you would love us to interview,
please let us know. We'll do our best to hunt
them down.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Excuse me, I'd like a famous grandmother. Yeah, I'm into that.
I'm not in that way.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestrate Islander
peoples today
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