July 8, 2025 • 38 mins
Turns out October is baby-making season because it's everyone's birthday this June/July! Marlie-Mae celebrates her 6th birthday, and her father is sent into a tailspin trying to find a hitting stick for the piñata.
It's also Matty J's birthday, and Ash has got him a present that will last a lifetime!
We also get into your Par-Rants for this week, where you air out your parenting grievances. This week's rant hit a nerve and our pockets!
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- Things you shouldn't say to a parent.
- How many days can I repack a sandwich?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Let me tell you, Joe, this better be good. Okay.
Maddie and Ash walking down the street. Okay, Ash spots
a dog. Yep, the dog's on the side of the
road lock and it's nuts and I go I turned
him out and I said, wish I could do that.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And you look at me and you go, you should
probably pad him first.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Welcome back to Toy Guards. I am Maddie Jay and
I'm Ash.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
the good, it is the bad, and we don't give advice.
We do, however, tell terrible jokes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Was dreadful. That's one of my best. Actually, I thought,
I thought, really you would like the switch up. It's
very good. Thank you. Hey, Can I tell you something crazy?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Of course?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Ken you know, I've got to go to Erskineville right
this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I did over here for one conversations.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The trip that takes twenty seven minutes from where I
am right now. Laura is halfway to Erskineville in Paddington,
and I said, Babe, I'm going to get a taxi
to you and we'll drive together to Erskineville. She wants
forty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
From where she is or from here where she is.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
She wants a forty five minute allowance.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Is she pregnant? She is very pregnant. Okay, well then
you should just get you mash up. Then, yes, forty
five minutes. Just got to do what she says, mate,
I'm just going to have to suck it up and
for the rest of your life, just do.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
She says, I need to have you on speed dial.
You do every situation where I want to fight back,
I need to call you first before putting my gloves on.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Correct. This is metaphoric speaking, I'd hope. So for the record,
now go on.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It's a special little boy's birthday. I've been wondering.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
You got me for my birthday. You got me a flashlight,
and this is what it looks like when you got
it for me. This is what it looks like. Now,
I'm just kidding. I wouldn't do that to the poor listeners.
But I was racking my brain thinking what do I
get this guy? What do I get a guy that
has everything? I was like, maybe I'll get him a
third kid, But Laura's already given you that. I'm nervous,
(02:33):
actually nervous about this. I'm nervous you know.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I honestly, I am just I am over the moon
that you've even remember.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I didn't think you would. I always remember. I remember
everyone's birthday, even Justice in the last minute. Yes, also
just quick nod happy birthday. Yes, Jess is back in
the room. Yes, another trip, the trip in the books.
When's the next one? I don't want to know, but
happy birthday to Jet. But yeah, I'm nervous, nervous, so
I'm gonna I'm never gonna judge you. I'm going to
(03:04):
get your birthday present now because it's it's in the
room with us. Oh my god. Yes, okay, so if
you just bear with me. I don't do well with surprises.
Ashes just getting.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Fuck up.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
What I'd like to explain? What are you what? What
do you mean?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Ash has just ripped his shirt off. He's currently naked
in my living room. So you just revealed to me?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That is that real?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
It is real?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
When did this idea happen? Have you spoken to April
about this?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
No? She had no idea. No she does, yeah she does.
It was funny because I was like, I'm going down
to get tattooed tomorrow. I was like, I'm got to
get mad something for his birthday, I'm going to get tattooed.
So it just like worked out that way, and then
I messaged my tatoos. I'm like oh, because he was like,
what do you want to get done? And I was like, oh,
I just needed to fill in this spot here, but
there needs to be this and told him. And then
when I got there, he had that drawn up ready
(04:02):
to go. Wow, a happy birthday. Like fuck, there's only
a few people I've got tatooed on me, name wise, Wow,
my kids. It's gonna be so awkward.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
We break up and that'll never happen.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
We get canceled and like your haple's only got initials
and I've got the foot it's big. Yeah, that's what
she said. Anyway, happy birthday. Wow, there you go.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
And can I just for a second and I please
don't think for a second that I'm trying to poop
you all my wife because I love her dearly.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah. But yesterday, okay, I was talking about.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Hey, maybe we should organize I don't know, at dinner,
and I didn't want to kind of say like explicitly
because it's my birthday. And Laura goes, oh, his week's
a shocker. I don't think we'll have time for date
night this week at all. Maybe like in school holidays
we'll do something. And I was like, oh, you don't
have time for my birthday? And she was like, oh
(04:58):
my god. The cameras like did you just sit there
like this?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Just like no reaction whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
And then now I'm going to be like, guess what, I.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Booked just a dinner too for your birthday. It's me
and you.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
No, there is no greater honor, I think, in this
world than having a permanent tattoo to resemble what is
a beautiful friendship.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well said, it's gonna be awkward, and I'm going to
get it covered up.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Do you like it? I wouldn't have got it if
I didn't very high pitch. I wouldn't have got it
if I didn't like it.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Wow, do I have regret? No?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I this is wild. It is poor. Nana is upstairs
probably thinking what you're now? You're a permanent part of me?
How does that feel? Jesus is April jealous? Be honest,
I don't think so. She thought it was cute, Well she.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Will be when she sees this video.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Stay on your side.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Thank you, thank you, there you go. So, yes, I
hope you had an amazing birthday because this would have
been this would be out by then. Yeah, and you
will be another year older. You're another year wiser. Thirty
eight for those playing at home. Yeah, I thought you
skipped a year before and you said that.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I thought I was turning thirty nine for a while, lie,
I thought you turned thirty seven. Let me check the record.
Eighty eight, eighty seven, eighty seven. Okay, well there go,
I'm wrong. So yeah, you're right. Wow, it's there's been
a lot of birthdays.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It is a very heavy June is like a big
heavy bird. It's a cluster. It is well said, we
have got you, Jess Marley Oscar. Yeah, it's all happening.
It's like four.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah, that's all I got my life, that's all I need.
We had Marley's birthday on the weekend. I did see
that on Sunday. Sunday we decided to have at home,
which was a decision.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
That I was regretting. The flying Yoga Noga.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It's so expensive. It was so expensive and we didn't
know enough people. You can't pay for the class, you
don't pay per head.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Oh you got to book the whole class. It was.
It was like nuts, okay, if you aren't, excuse me,
if you're going to book the whole class out. How
much was we talking?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Like, I think I don't want to shit on them
as a business, but I think it was like five
hundred bucks.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Jesus, I know.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
I was like, ill, I love my child, but not
that much. So we had it at home and it
was nice. Great numbers. Great numbers actually kind of limited
it to about about ten and I finally at this
age now Marley turned six, and it's a it's an
age where there's a bit of segregation between the boys
(07:41):
and the girls.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Oh yes, so there's.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
A couple of boys came. They were a little bit like, what.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
The hell is this? This is a girl's party.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
We had a fairy and we had ribbons and like
she did, like play the music everyone with the ribbons, and.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Were there any boys suspiciously into it?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Why would try to coax the boys off the couch
and be like, come on, fellas, let's do it. And
they were like this sucks. And I kind of said
to Laura, like maybe next year we just make it.
You can make it all girls. Fine, it's a tricky
one unless it's flying yoga, because then the boys will be.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Into it, real into it.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Yeah, but the most stressful part ash most stressful part pinnadas.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, are you a pinarda family? No, I don't think
we've ever voluntarily had one.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
It's very confusing for kids when you're trying to explain
to them, you know, violence is bad, aggression is also bad.
And then all of a sudden there's a one little window.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
It's like the purge.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Yeah, it's very it's weird, like we're like, it's like
you're gonna like hang someone. I'm like hoisting up this
unicorn that's hanging from the neck. And then I also
realized that I was like, I don't have I don't
have a bat, nothing to like, I have no weapon.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
They got to hit with something. I don't imagine hitting
this because I called you when I was at the park.
Oh yeah, you're looking for sticks, scouring for sticks. So
it was just at the park by myself, like going
through bushes. So I found the stick, brought it back
hoisted up by the neck. The unicorn is hanging right there. Actually,
I love how we hoist up something they love and
then get them to hit it with the stick so weird.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I'm like, everyone line up right now, and.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
They're like, where is it. They've just been like dancing
with the ribbons and I'm like, now we will kill
an animal.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
And they're like, what not only an animal? Your favorite animal.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Mom has been there stuffing it in the asshole with
chocolate and lollies.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Poor make it, make it and this is the most
horrible day of it's life. Let me out of my misery.
And then there's so pathetic and hitting it too. The
unicorns like make it quick. The kids are like death
by a thousand cuts or whatever. It's like, we'll get
(09:57):
there in the end. It'll really dive.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Starve Asian.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Brutal.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
The hardest thing is crowd control for a pinard, especially
with a stick, and we're blindfold. We didn't go blindfold smart,
thank you, Health and Safety didn't allow for it, so
we had to. I was holding back the kids, It's
like stay back, and then we allowed two hits per person,
a double hit, and then they're like, give me it all.
(10:23):
And then we had like one of the boys was
like fucking knocked the ship out of this fucking unicorn
and we're like, all right, Timmy not too hard, Yeah,
tendency that kid. Luckily Timmy's is a worry. Yeah, got
through one round, two hits each beautiful.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It's also encouraging animal cruelty. It's it's absurd, such mixed messaging.
Once you're doing it.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Culdfully and then we love it, it's oh yeah, look
it's it's a weird anticipation. You know, for good five
minutes you just cheer it, cheering on the kids to
slaughter the unicorn.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Let me ask you this, how was What are you
like with lots of kids in your house and cleaning up?
Are you do you get anxious about the cleanup or
do you just let it all happen and clean up later.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Weirdly, I was pretty chill. Do you know who was anxious?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Nana Marley? Oh really, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
We gave them a treat each if they cleaned their room.
They cleaned the room. Room was spotless. Actually a really
good job. If anyone needs to clean up, Marley and
Lola definitely recommend them. And the room was spotless. People came,
and you know, kids come. After a little while, they
kind of split up. A few of them went into
Marley's room, and outside. Marley was like, hey, that's a
(11:39):
bit of a problem. And I said, what's the problem.
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
She goes on, kids are in my room.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Making it so messy right now. She's like it's going
to be a nightmare to clean up. Shit's everywhere. And
I was like, oh, that's okay, don't worry about it.
And she was like, ah, I just just cleaned it
as well. Yeah, can we get them out of there?
And it's such an inconvenience really.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
She's like the thing I got onto the costume is
du blow on the floor. She's like, can we just.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Made an absolute mess? Animals?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
It's like where's the unicorn?
Speaker 3 (12:09):
So Marley was the one not into it, and I
was like, I was like, relaxed, it's cool, people having
a good time.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We can clean up later when they've left.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, And she was like, I just I just want
to get the place clean again.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
It's like I'm like her, man, it's like me, I can't.
I can't let it go. And I'm like if it's like,
we've got just it's not a party. So we've got
people having a bunch of kids in my house and
they make an absolute mess, which they usually do not
blaming anyone's kids, in particular, if you're watching listening Timmy
Mike's kids like two reckon Balls Rice or it's like
(12:42):
and then like I'm just so anxious that I need
to clean up all the time, and it's like I
don't really need to, I could just do it later.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
The downside now is that we've got a mountain of
cardboard behind the house.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
That's the worst.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Like we've got we need to get a bigger bin
for the blue cardboard. Like even on the street, every
time on there's a blue bin da, everyone is full
to the brim.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I'm gonna say, there's too much cardboard in the world,
way too much. It's ridiculous, Like I can't, I can't
beat it's beating me.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I was watching Maley like unwrap the Presence and one
was like a Barbie toy and I was like, more cardboard,
I know.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
And it's like, I suppose we can just burn it'll
be back the environment.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
But then I have the guilt I feel putting it
in the red bin.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I can't. I know it myself, I know it's fucked.
My sister said it yesterday pretty bluntly. She was like, oh,
rubbish in our house is Ryan's full time job. Now
it's like because you're like you have to be on
it all the time because if you let it, it's
like washing. If you miss the day washing, you've got
like sixty five loves, you'll take over. You'll take over.
The house is a majority cardboard.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Next thing you're in a current affair and like the
wad house.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, I was like, oh, maybe I'll get the kids
to build something out of the boxes. That just made
it worse. Now I've got a big structure because you
can't move that. I'm not allowed to move. I've like
I've made it worse. I've brought the rubbish back indoors
for them to build something, and now I can't even
get rid of it. It's like part of the family.
(14:09):
I'm over it. Anyway.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
We did though, for the party. We announced it to
the parents and said, hey, it's a drop and go.
You are game if you want, Like we were like
that's cool and like it was interesting. Some people came
drop the kid off and they're like, they're like, oh,
stay for a bit, and I said, you want to
drink and go? Yeah, I'd love a drink, And they
ended up staying two party shots. I was like, she
(14:32):
had like a tray of tequila. But then like another
dad would come in and he'd be.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Like, h so this is a drop and go And
I was like, yeah, you go sweet see it. I
got like a puff of smoke.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Straight out of that.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah. But successful, successful, successful? Is it Sunday party? Again?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Not to attack Lauri here, I just want to just
put that out there, make everyone aware. I'm not criticizing
my wife.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
What do you call it? Then, I'm just making an observation. Yes,
I like it. I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
So sometimes when Laura is making plans, she'll suggest something.
I don't listen properly. I just agree to it, and
then when it comes closer to the moment, I then go,
hang on a second, Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Why is it like this? Yeah, don't be that guy.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Here's a question for you. Okay, here's a question for you. Okay,
I won't tell you the time of the party. Yeah,
what is the perfect time for a kid's party?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Two thirty pm? What? Yeah, it's too late?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
No?
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Too late?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Why two thirty? Because I feel like between twelve and
two you can be like, oh, kids, we're gonna have
a bit of downtime because we're going to be launching
this afternoon for this party. And I also use that
to be like, if you don't have a bit of downtime,
then we can't have the party. And they'll be like,
oh shit, you know, and then two thirty hour and
a half, everyone's out by four four point thirty sea later,
(16:02):
and then I can clean up.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Why don't you have it first thing in the morning
at ten o'clock.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Because I want to have a beer. I feel like
it's more appropriate to have a beer at two thirty
this afternoon, especially if it's a Saturday. You know, if
Laura and I have a breakup, and if you're in
april of a breakup, you should marry Laura. Don't you
dare put your hands anywhere near my wife.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I'm not saying I'm inviting you, you're inviting me.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't have other of them both.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
That's fine.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Laura said two to four, and I was like, that's
pretty late on a Sunday. It's pretty late.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm coming to think that me
and Laura a pretty compatible. I get the same thing, Laura.
If you're have a single day, don't be silly don't
be silly. I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
I think I think a ten to twelve party is
perfect because you kind of miss lunch, you don't to
feed them that much. And then like they're not going
to hang around because four o'clock people want to stay
for dinner.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Not in my house, they don't, it's freezing. I think
it's good to like too four because it's also you
can be like you're not gonna do I'm gonna hop
these little shits up on sugar and send them home
and be someone else's problem. But also like morning, I
get it, get it out of the way, like some
people like a good morning party, but yeah, I'm all
about the afternoon. Here's a question for you. Actually, he
(17:16):
is gonna rock your world. I'm ready to be right.
My niece got invited to a party. Birthday parties just three,
so I'm assuming it's a four year old's party because
it's the same age. It was one pm. I guess
what day? Saturday? Monday? What? Sorry? Right, did you just
(17:38):
say it was Aday Monday for a birthday party? Yeah?
She doesn't go to daycare this kid. I'm not sure
why I'm not. They might have their reasons, but I'm
not sure the parents work. I don't know the details,
but I was just so rattled by that.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I was like, I was like, no, although, is that
the smartest move that we've seen from a parent so far.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I think it might be you're like, you instantly dwindle
your numbers down.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yeah, that's good culling.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
But then it's sad for the child. But how old
are they? Three?
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Four?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I don't remember anything.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
They don't have a conscience until they're like six, That
is the right word, conscience.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, I don't. They just give me in crimes and
stuff and just sleeping perfectly self aware here they are, Well,
they don't how many friends they have. If they go
to a birthday party on a weekend and there's like
twenty kids there, and then they have a birthday party
on a Monday and there's like four kids, that is
an interesting time, I know. And like I said, I
don't know the reasoning behind it, but well, I was shocked.
(18:38):
I was in shock. I'm stilling shot.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
We're not we're not here to judge, but like, but
I don't know, surely sure, maybe they're going away, Maybe
maybe they work on the weekend. Maybe it was the
day of the birthday. Some people are very strict and
wanting to celebrate on the day.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Maybe, I don't know. Can we find out call April
call it it wasn't April. I don't know. I just
wanted to call April. I I caught Oscar trying to
impress the local mums. I saw you did see that.
He's got a good one handed push up on him.
Who's taught him that?
Speaker 5 (19:09):
Not me?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Because well I can't do it.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Yeah, we tried to get you to do one handed.
You just he would be like like a potatoes.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yes, thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate it,
working on it, but he he One day I was like,
you got to warm up for this whatever we were doing,
like it's like a joke, and he just got started
doing push ups. I was like, he's like the karate kid. Yeah,
he's like a monkey. This kid like he's like like
if he get if he grabs hold of you, he's
not letting go. And then he's so strong for how
(19:37):
small he can kids do? Is that is that normally
get him checked out? You think he's an aspert. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Doctors are like, I think something's wrong with the kid.
One how to push up.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, dyslexic, but he's definitely going to be dyslexic. But yeah,
I was like, good on your kid, and all the
girls were very impressed.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
How did can I just ask and if anyone wants
to see the video, it is on two doting dads
and jam pikelets as well. How did that situation get
to the point where he was then in front of
the women doing the one handed push ups.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I just think they were just all the kids were
showing off and Oscar's like, you think that's impressive, step aside,
step aside, kids that are real men through ball. Then
the reaction from the mums impressed, some of them are pregnant.
Did he did he react?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Well? Because I'd love my niece Millie. She played netball
on the weekend, got her first goal. People cheered because
she got a very first goal ever in netball. Congratulations,
she ran off right off the court.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
She was like be barrassed.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, yeah, it was Oscar like did he was he
thriving in that environment? Ah? He got a bit shy once,
like he realized that everyone was like, look, did him go?
He was kind of like, I'm like that's a fair response. Man,
if I'm doing push ups and people are.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Like, look at this, go and go.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I can't do it and run so but he was, yeah,
it's like he's a little party trick. I guess there's
certain moments, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
I think like if your child graduates university, high school,
getting married, one.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Had push up, one had to push up up.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
There it's on the list.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I would say, it's top two. Like you do have
a level of arrogance. I staunched in his Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah, I was like, Jesu, it's like your kids want
a gold medal or something.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
He might do one day. You don't know. We could
look back and go, hang on a minute, remember that
time you did it one? Make sure he doesn't peak
too early. He will he's impatient, Matthew. It is time.
It is time to let something off our listener's chest.
And that is perant.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
You don't mostly regression.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You don't.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Just tell me what a parent do you want my
grandpa at the shop?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
You don't want advice from strangers, Go and tell.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Me what is your parent?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Thank you, Ash.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I have a few here.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
I'm gonna start with now. This is a longer one.
This is maybe the longest parent.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
That we've ever had. Wow from Okay, beautiful Sarah, Sarah
Sarah ant Sarah.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
No, she did post this in the Facebook group, and look,
I will I will have to just preface this with
an apology that you and I are both guilty of. Okay, yeah,
let me start with the rent. Sarah says, I have
one child, one, one beautiful ten year old daughter, and
(22:55):
for the past ten years, all people have asked me
is if I'm having another, she will be spoilt. If
she's an only child, she will be lonely, she will
grow up weird looking at you, Maddie Nash. Again, apologies
there it is. I just smile and laugh and say
I'm one and done and happy, which I am. I
(23:17):
know people mean well, but maybe there is an underlying
issue as to why people only have one. Maybe we
had a miscarriage, Maybe we wanted a second one and
it just wasn't on the cards of medically possible high risk.
You know what, Sarah, You are absolutely one hundred percent correct.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah. I feel bad now because, yeah, look, we sort
of rattle off sometimes, we joke.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
We joke, we joke, and we will be more conscious.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, I feel like that was all directed at us.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I mean, like pretty much, it does say our name
specifically here in the rant.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah that wasn't the just permitting factor, Yeah, definitely. But
I seem to think that maybe it has something to
do with us.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
And you know what, I think it's great that we're
here as a community on two doting dads. We're allowed
to listen to our listeners. They can vent, we can change,
we can apologize, we're growing, we're learning change.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
This is this is all great. This is great, this
is a good stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
It's a good thing. Has Sarah stopped listening?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Probably she's probably listening, but if.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
She's here right now, Sarah, we apologize and we thank
you for your parent.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
And we're happy that we're happy that you just have
one child. We're happy, more than happy. Wait no, okay,
we have another one. Matthew from Ebony. Okay, this is
also a lengthy one. Gee there really really want to
get this stuff off of their chance. My husband has
been working away a lot and I was just so
done with parenting and hearing the word mum. They're totally fair,
(24:51):
Like I heard you the last five and fifty two times,
So both of you please shut the fuck up already.
I fully understand any parent gets that. Look, guys, I
really don't want to hear the word mum anymore for
a bit. Okay, fair call, fair call, Florence. My three
year old looks me dead in the eyes. But Ebony,
(25:13):
you are the mum. Gotcha got she got your technicality,
that's for sure. I had no response and took everything
in meat not to laugh because if you laugh, they're
going to do it again. Right, Yeah, we know that.
Sometimes I swear she's thirteen in a three year old's body. Look,
I feel you, and I did send you, Matthew. That
video of that woman who was taking count of how
(25:35):
many times her kid would say mum between the hours
of like what did she get up? It was like
two hundred and twenty seven times over the course.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Of that's beautiful your kids want you, but then nice
to be needed.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
But then she times by the days of the year,
and it was like diabolical.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
As shut up.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
This one here, ash is anonymous, and it's directed at
water bottle at nighttime. A beautiful touch, making sure the
children are hydrated late at night.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Why did this just remind me of that hack the
person had of like the guinea big water bottle.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, someone had literally got like when did you put
in a guinea pig cage and tied it to the
side of the bed. Yeah, it's great, but issue with
water bottles at nighttime. They make my child piss the
bed all the time.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Oh yes, it's damn you water bottles.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah, and we keep having the argument where I think
Oscar's doing it now so we can get up to
we April was a few times I'd be like, stop
drinking so much water, right, like when you're in bed.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Like he's like, yeah, is this there's always been the case.
I don't remember growing up with the water bottle next
to my bed.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
No, I didn't do it. There's a different generation, but
we care about the kids now. It's very different. Okay,
this one's from me because I'm a bit over it.
It's I like to get up and out of the
house immediately. I'm like, I'm so impatient. I'm like, we're
going somewhere, let's fucking do it. And I've already got
a for April to get ready, and that takes forever.
Then I've got to get kids ready and that takes forever.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
And then I were like go and Wii and They're
both like, I don't need to.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I don't care. I will squeeze it out of you.
Couldn't give a ship because then as soon as we
leave the fucking house, all of a sudden, it's I
need to wi it's a surprise.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
We it's not.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, that's what you say to your kids, so relaxed.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
I gotta get it off.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
So I say to the kids, you got a surprise
we in there. It'll get you.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
It'll get you, however, and they're like.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Oh god, because I'm in the car already waiting because
I'm over it. I'm like, I'm not having this argument
with you. Every time April staunch on it.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Whenever I'm like, go on to sit on the toilet.
Most of the time they end up doing like a
massive ship.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Say what was in there? Why are you fighting that?
Don't you feel better now? Amaze? The other day, I
was like, just please do a Wii for me, Do
it for me, Come on, do it for me, Go
and do a week and she's like, okay, went anyway.
She did it on the potty overflowed.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
That's how much we she had it. And I was like,
why are you resisting this? Just get it? Done.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
You need a bigger potty. There was a huge Wii.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
And if you, as a parent, need to get anything
off your chest, that's why we give you parents. And
today's segment was brought to you.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
By Just Low Prices. Every day aldi good different. All right, Matthew,
it is It is that time of the week where
we get questions from our listeners. We love them, We
love the questions. Would you like to go first? Or
would I like to go first? Let's kick it off.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
This is one that we've brought back again because it's
just such a delicious topic.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Oh people love it. I think because it strikes a chord.
That's all's the trigger. If you will, I will help absolutely.
This is things you shouldn't say to a parent. Volume three.
All right, I'll start, Matthew. Someone says to you, mainly
in public, oh gosh, you got your hands full. No shit,
(29:05):
I know, Captain obvious.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
It's like and it won't help me. Yeah, help me
with your hands, not your mouth.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Unless it's like if you crash your car and someone's like,
that's a pretty big, pretty big crash.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
You got your I think you've crashed it and.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
You're like, no shit, Oh thanks, I didn't realize.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I thought I was killing it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I don't know if anyone said this to you, go on,
ooh gosh, aren't your kids a bit young to be
in daycare?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Not to me personally. I think I've thought about it
about other people.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
I thought about it.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Sure, I don't say that.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I don't know. You keep that's one you keep into
because you don't know people's circumstances. They might have to work.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
We want And again I would never say this, but
we went and checked out a daycare because with a
baby coming in September. I don't know if anyone knows that.
And guess how old they take the kids from six
weeks eight? That was closed, very close but still and
I would hey, sorry, sorry, well no, move on, No, look,
(30:09):
that's a great age.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Quickly quick. The next one, when you're pregnant you announce
the sex of your child and it's a girl, and
they respond, will you try for a boy next time?
I'm still pregnant. I haven't been trying for this life.
What is wrong with people? I have? I've got that
a bit. Yeah you would, Oh my god, the C section?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Well, it's not really giving birth, is it. R I
p to anyone who says this publicly.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
I'm not even laughing. I'm just who was said? Who
would have said that to someone? And if you said
that to someone.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
You've thought about saying that to someone, have a good look.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
In the mirror. I would say, okay, next time. All
this is another one. I don't believe in bottle feeding.
I don't care what you believe in. Shut your fucking
mouth too. They're diabolical. I would say they're unforgivable. I
think I may have said that. I think we've no
(31:14):
one's perfect. I think you've spoken. We've spoken about it
before that you've said that. Look at me like that
your high horse. I'm trying to remember it, but I
think you were just saying it in your situa someone
thank you. Don't say that to someone else.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Last one, Oh gosh, I don't know what's wrong with
your kid, but my kid sleeps through the whole night.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
They're fighting words. That is the most offensive thing you
can say to a tired p you are, that's that's
a fight ready to happen. I'm punching you out. I
am straight up punching you out.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Now.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
If you've had something someone has said to you as
a parent, please write in.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Let us we're educating the people of the world.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, there'd be people out there going away saying I
can't say that. No, you can't say that.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Hey, as you asked a question on the Facebook group
which got an astounding response, and I couldn't tell if
it was a serious one or not.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Was it genuine? Yeah it was?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
It was okay for anyone who didn't see the question
on the Facebook group. First of all, joined the Facebook
group three thousand members.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
What's up? Question off the back of it really is
how many days can I repack a sandwich for kids lunch? Yeah?
Because how many days? Did you? It was a Wednesday? Yeah,
he took it the same sandwich three days. What can
I just tell me? Just vegimie. It was hamd wasn't it? No,
it was chicken, it was it was vegimie. It's the
(32:40):
same sandwich every time. So I thought, Eh, he's getting
it again because I'm sick of making it. And then
I put it out to see. I just wanted to
not feel judged. I came thick and fast.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
I think I think, I mean, I think I recall
a second day taking it to school and we're talking
about like a veggiemine or a jam here, but then
a third, a third visit to school.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Come on, man, it's done a lot of cakes. That sandwich.
It's clocking him up. It's just a nice lunch, but
it's not just in a plastic bag in his bag
school bag. Make him a freshy.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Come on, man, come on.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
I just got the shits about it. I really got
the shits about it. And then I said on that,
I said, gee, I feel really judged, and someone just
wanted to say that's the correct feeling.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Look, I can handle it, god, I think.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
But I knew how to go with me about giving
peanut butter and a sandwich, and you're like, ho, everyone,
I've I've got the sandwich that's now mommified because it's
three years old.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Can I still give it to oscoo for breakfast the
next day? Yes? The answer is it was like, there's
no such thing as a dumb question. I think there
were some good responses, like April took a hack off
the back of it, which was like I won't let
them eat anything when they get home until they finish
their lunchbox, like when they get home very good, which
is okay, that's fine, but.
Speaker 4 (34:06):
Like, ah, hey, we have to stop. I'm not going
to stop what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
We're going to move right along. We have a new segment.
We have a new segment, Matt called Parenting Wins. Parenting
Wins brought to you by Vicks vapor ub now available
in new lavendercent And I think it's important to celebrate
all winds. Yeah, you can rant and then win.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
And I'm not talking about your kid doing one handed
push ups. I'm talking about anything at all. It's the
little wins that we need to celebrate to keep us going.
Put the wind back into our sales.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Oh well said all right, I'm going to go first
because we didn't have a heap of people write in.
Because people, it's best we celebrate those wins. I agree.
This is from Sarah says, I have a sixteen and
a thirteen year old. They are alive. Does that count?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
You're a great job, doing a fantastic job. Rub it
in wherever you can.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
This is from Ashley.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Finally got my nineteen month old to stop saying oh
shit when she drop something. Now she just says, oh dear.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Oh win rub it in.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
This one's from Hannah. I put the robot vacuum on
when the kids go to bed, so it forces them.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
To stay in their room and someone scaring vacuum.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
That is a win. That is an absolute win.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Oh God, we're good parents and Josh, they.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Were, they're friends of mine.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Their eight year old makes them delivers their coffee every morning.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
We trained her.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Well, wow, that is child labored.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
So it's a win.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
This is from Carissa. I ate lunch the first time.
I hated it up.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Today and that's the type of stuff you need to celebrate.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I know it's like to do the coffee. You got
to keep eating that up. Call me crazy.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
I like it when he goes cold ash. This one
is a voice message. It is sent from Frankie hor Photography.
Speaker 5 (36:11):
My son has a whole toy box full of just
absolute shit. But he totally loves it. But I think
at some point he actually took a piece in it.
His four I got so sea girls, I was disgusting,
like I put a job up on air tasker for
a hundred bucks, chucked it out on the curve. He
cracked it obviously. I told him he could have any
(36:32):
toy that he wants if we get rid of his
whole toy box and he was like, okay, cool, so win.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Win, that's all. It took one toy pretty pissed in it.
What's not a freak wants to buy a piece of
toy box?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
You wouldn't say. You wouldn't put that on the description though,
would you be like, free toy box, more toys for
kids or these kids be like great, what's that smell?
Just brave?
Speaker 4 (36:53):
It's a wind.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Wind is a win And if you want to rub
that in here on the podcast, we welcome that absolutely.
I'm all for it. And that was Parenting Winds, brought
to you by vix vapor Rub. For the ultimate parenting
hack this winter, try vix vapor Ub, now available in
a new lavender scent.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
It provides cough and cold relief ash for a peaceful sleep,
because when they sleep, you sleep. Shop the Vix Lavender
range in store.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Or online at chemist Warehouse. Always read the label and
follow the directions from use ash.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I have some devastating news. Oh no, that's the end
of this episode. Not enough, But if you would like
to reach out to us, you can do that. You
can speak to us in the form of a review
in either on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. Hey, whilst
you're at it, give us a couple of stars. We're
a four point nine on Spotify right now.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Love that. You can also reach us on any social
media platform that exists, Instagram, TikTok.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Don't quote us on that. I'm sorry about.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
I just went for I went for it.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Two Doting Dads across all those that I mentioned in
the world, TikTok, Instagram.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
And anywhere else in the world.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That's us. Bye see, you get bye, Okay, We'll go,
I'll hang up Okay.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
Let me tell you, Joe, this better be good. Okay.
Maddie and Ash walking down the street. Okay, Ash spots
a dog. Yep, the dog's on the side of the
road lock and it's nuts and I go I turned
him out and I said, wish I could do that.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And you look at me and you go, you should
probably pad him first.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Welcome back to Toy Guards. I am Maddie Jay and
I'm Ash.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
the good, it is the bad, and we don't give advice.
We do, however, tell terrible jokes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Was dreadful. That's one of my best. Actually, I thought,
I thought, really you would like the switch up. It's
very good. Thank you. Hey, Can I tell you something crazy?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Of course?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Ken you know, I've got to go to Erskineville right
this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I did over here for one conversations.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The trip that takes twenty seven minutes from where I
am right now. Laura is halfway to Erskineville in Paddington,
and I said, Babe, I'm going to get a taxi
to you and we'll drive together to Erskineville. She wants
forty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
From where she is or from here where she is.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
She wants a forty five minute allowance.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Is she pregnant? She is very pregnant. Okay, well then
you should just get you mash up. Then, yes, forty
five minutes. Just got to do what she says, mate,
I'm just going to have to suck it up and
for the rest of your life, just do.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
She says, I need to have you on speed dial.
You do every situation where I want to fight back,
I need to call you first before putting my gloves on.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Correct. This is metaphoric speaking, I'd hope. So for the record,
now go on.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It's a special little boy's birthday. I've been wondering.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
You got me for my birthday. You got me a flashlight,
and this is what it looks like when you got
it for me. This is what it looks like. Now,
I'm just kidding. I wouldn't do that to the poor listeners.
But I was racking my brain thinking what do I
get this guy? What do I get a guy that
has everything? I was like, maybe I'll get him a
third kid, But Laura's already given you that. I'm nervous,
(02:33):
actually nervous about this. I'm nervous you know.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I honestly, I am just I am over the moon
that you've even remember.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I didn't think you would. I always remember. I remember
everyone's birthday, even Justice in the last minute. Yes, also
just quick nod happy birthday. Yes, Jess is back in
the room. Yes, another trip, the trip in the books.
When's the next one? I don't want to know, but
happy birthday to Jet. But yeah, I'm nervous, nervous, so
I'm gonna I'm never gonna judge you. I'm going to
(03:04):
get your birthday present now because it's it's in the
room with us. Oh my god. Yes, okay, so if
you just bear with me. I don't do well with surprises.
Ashes just getting.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Fuck up.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
What I'd like to explain? What are you what? What
do you mean?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Ash has just ripped his shirt off. He's currently naked
in my living room. So you just revealed to me?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That is that real?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
It is real?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
When did this idea happen? Have you spoken to April
about this?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
No? She had no idea. No she does, yeah she does.
It was funny because I was like, I'm going down
to get tattooed tomorrow. I was like, I'm got to
get mad something for his birthday, I'm going to get tattooed.
So it just like worked out that way, and then
I messaged my tatoos. I'm like oh, because he was like,
what do you want to get done? And I was like, oh,
I just needed to fill in this spot here, but
there needs to be this and told him. And then
when I got there, he had that drawn up ready
(04:02):
to go. Wow, a happy birthday. Like fuck, there's only
a few people I've got tatooed on me, name wise, Wow,
my kids. It's gonna be so awkward.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
We break up and that'll never happen.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
We get canceled and like your haple's only got initials
and I've got the foot it's big. Yeah, that's what
she said. Anyway, happy birthday. Wow, there you go.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
And can I just for a second and I please
don't think for a second that I'm trying to poop
you all my wife because I love her dearly.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah. But yesterday, okay, I was talking about.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Hey, maybe we should organize I don't know, at dinner,
and I didn't want to kind of say like explicitly
because it's my birthday. And Laura goes, oh, his week's
a shocker. I don't think we'll have time for date
night this week at all. Maybe like in school holidays
we'll do something. And I was like, oh, you don't
have time for my birthday? And she was like, oh
(04:58):
my god. The cameras like did you just sit there
like this?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Just like no reaction whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
And then now I'm going to be like, guess what, I.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Booked just a dinner too for your birthday. It's me
and you.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
No, there is no greater honor, I think, in this
world than having a permanent tattoo to resemble what is
a beautiful friendship.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well said, it's gonna be awkward, and I'm going to
get it covered up.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Do you like it? I wouldn't have got it if
I didn't very high pitch. I wouldn't have got it
if I didn't like it.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Wow, do I have regret? No?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I this is wild. It is poor. Nana is upstairs
probably thinking what you're now? You're a permanent part of me?
How does that feel? Jesus is April jealous? Be honest,
I don't think so. She thought it was cute, Well she.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Will be when she sees this video.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Stay on your side.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Thank you, thank you, there you go. So, yes, I
hope you had an amazing birthday because this would have
been this would be out by then. Yeah, and you
will be another year older. You're another year wiser. Thirty
eight for those playing at home. Yeah, I thought you
skipped a year before and you said that.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I thought I was turning thirty nine for a while, lie,
I thought you turned thirty seven. Let me check the record.
Eighty eight, eighty seven, eighty seven. Okay, well there go,
I'm wrong. So yeah, you're right. Wow, it's there's been
a lot of birthdays.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It is a very heavy June is like a big
heavy bird. It's a cluster. It is well said, we
have got you, Jess Marley Oscar. Yeah, it's all happening.
It's like four.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah, that's all I got my life, that's all I need.
We had Marley's birthday on the weekend. I did see
that on Sunday. Sunday we decided to have at home,
which was a decision.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
That I was regretting. The flying Yoga Noga.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It's so expensive. It was so expensive and we didn't
know enough people. You can't pay for the class, you
don't pay per head.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Oh you got to book the whole class. It was.
It was like nuts, okay, if you aren't, excuse me,
if you're going to book the whole class out. How
much was we talking?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Like, I think I don't want to shit on them
as a business, but I think it was like five
hundred bucks.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Jesus, I know.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
I was like, ill, I love my child, but not
that much. So we had it at home and it
was nice. Great numbers. Great numbers actually kind of limited
it to about about ten and I finally at this
age now Marley turned six, and it's a it's an
age where there's a bit of segregation between the boys
(07:41):
and the girls.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Oh yes, so there's.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
A couple of boys came. They were a little bit like, what.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
The hell is this? This is a girl's party.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
We had a fairy and we had ribbons and like
she did, like play the music everyone with the ribbons, and.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Were there any boys suspiciously into it?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Why would try to coax the boys off the couch
and be like, come on, fellas, let's do it. And
they were like this sucks. And I kind of said
to Laura, like maybe next year we just make it.
You can make it all girls. Fine, it's a tricky
one unless it's flying yoga, because then the boys will be.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Into it, real into it.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Yeah, but the most stressful part ash most stressful part pinnadas.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, are you a pinarda family? No, I don't think
we've ever voluntarily had one.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
It's very confusing for kids when you're trying to explain
to them, you know, violence is bad, aggression is also bad.
And then all of a sudden there's a one little window.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
It's like the purge.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Yeah, it's very it's weird, like we're like, it's like
you're gonna like hang someone. I'm like hoisting up this
unicorn that's hanging from the neck. And then I also
realized that I was like, I don't have I don't
have a bat, nothing to like, I have no weapon.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
They got to hit with something. I don't imagine hitting
this because I called you when I was at the park.
Oh yeah, you're looking for sticks, scouring for sticks. So
it was just at the park by myself, like going
through bushes. So I found the stick, brought it back
hoisted up by the neck. The unicorn is hanging right there. Actually,
I love how we hoist up something they love and
then get them to hit it with the stick so weird.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I'm like, everyone line up right now, and.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
They're like, where is it. They've just been like dancing
with the ribbons and I'm like, now we will kill
an animal.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
And they're like, what not only an animal? Your favorite animal.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Mom has been there stuffing it in the asshole with
chocolate and lollies.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Poor make it, make it and this is the most
horrible day of it's life. Let me out of my misery.
And then there's so pathetic and hitting it too. The
unicorns like make it quick. The kids are like death
by a thousand cuts or whatever. It's like, we'll get
(09:57):
there in the end. It'll really dive.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Starve Asian.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Brutal.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
The hardest thing is crowd control for a pinard, especially
with a stick, and we're blindfold. We didn't go blindfold smart,
thank you, Health and Safety didn't allow for it, so
we had to. I was holding back the kids, It's
like stay back, and then we allowed two hits per person,
a double hit, and then they're like, give me it all.
(10:23):
And then we had like one of the boys was
like fucking knocked the ship out of this fucking unicorn
and we're like, all right, Timmy not too hard, Yeah,
tendency that kid. Luckily Timmy's is a worry. Yeah, got
through one round, two hits each beautiful.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It's also encouraging animal cruelty. It's it's absurd, such mixed messaging.
Once you're doing it.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Culdfully and then we love it, it's oh yeah, look
it's it's a weird anticipation. You know, for good five
minutes you just cheer it, cheering on the kids to
slaughter the unicorn.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Let me ask you this, how was What are you
like with lots of kids in your house and cleaning up?
Are you do you get anxious about the cleanup or
do you just let it all happen and clean up later.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Weirdly, I was pretty chill. Do you know who was anxious?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Nana Marley? Oh really, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
We gave them a treat each if they cleaned their room.
They cleaned the room. Room was spotless. Actually a really
good job. If anyone needs to clean up, Marley and
Lola definitely recommend them. And the room was spotless. People came,
and you know, kids come. After a little while, they
kind of split up. A few of them went into
Marley's room, and outside. Marley was like, hey, that's a
(11:39):
bit of a problem. And I said, what's the problem.
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
She goes on, kids are in my room.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Making it so messy right now. She's like it's going
to be a nightmare to clean up. Shit's everywhere. And
I was like, oh, that's okay, don't worry about it.
And she was like, ah, I just just cleaned it
as well. Yeah, can we get them out of there?
And it's such an inconvenience really.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
She's like the thing I got onto the costume is
du blow on the floor. She's like, can we just.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Made an absolute mess? Animals?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
It's like where's the unicorn?
Speaker 3 (12:09):
So Marley was the one not into it, and I
was like, I was like, relaxed, it's cool, people having
a good time.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We can clean up later when they've left.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, And she was like, I just I just want
to get the place clean again.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
It's like I'm like her, man, it's like me, I can't.
I can't let it go. And I'm like if it's like,
we've got just it's not a party. So we've got
people having a bunch of kids in my house and
they make an absolute mess, which they usually do not
blaming anyone's kids, in particular, if you're watching listening Timmy
Mike's kids like two reckon Balls Rice or it's like
(12:42):
and then like I'm just so anxious that I need
to clean up all the time, and it's like I
don't really need to, I could just do it later.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
The downside now is that we've got a mountain of
cardboard behind the house.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
That's the worst.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Like we've got we need to get a bigger bin
for the blue cardboard. Like even on the street, every
time on there's a blue bin da, everyone is full
to the brim.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I'm gonna say, there's too much cardboard in the world,
way too much. It's ridiculous, Like I can't, I can't
beat it's beating me.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I was watching Maley like unwrap the Presence and one
was like a Barbie toy and I was like, more cardboard,
I know.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
And it's like, I suppose we can just burn it'll
be back the environment.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
But then I have the guilt I feel putting it
in the red bin.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I can't. I know it myself, I know it's fucked.
My sister said it yesterday pretty bluntly. She was like, oh,
rubbish in our house is Ryan's full time job. Now
it's like because you're like you have to be on
it all the time because if you let it, it's
like washing. If you miss the day washing, you've got
like sixty five loves, you'll take over. You'll take over.
The house is a majority cardboard.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Next thing you're in a current affair and like the
wad house.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, I was like, oh, maybe I'll get the kids
to build something out of the boxes. That just made
it worse. Now I've got a big structure because you
can't move that. I'm not allowed to move. I've like
I've made it worse. I've brought the rubbish back indoors
for them to build something, and now I can't even
get rid of it. It's like part of the family.
(14:09):
I'm over it. Anyway.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
We did though, for the party. We announced it to
the parents and said, hey, it's a drop and go.
You are game if you want, Like we were like
that's cool and like it was interesting. Some people came
drop the kid off and they're like, they're like, oh,
stay for a bit, and I said, you want to
drink and go? Yeah, I'd love a drink, And they
ended up staying two party shots. I was like, she
(14:32):
had like a tray of tequila. But then like another
dad would come in and he'd be.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Like, h so this is a drop and go And
I was like, yeah, you go sweet see it. I
got like a puff of smoke.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Straight out of that.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah. But successful, successful, successful? Is it Sunday party? Again?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Not to attack Lauri here, I just want to just
put that out there, make everyone aware. I'm not criticizing
my wife.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
What do you call it? Then, I'm just making an observation. Yes,
I like it. I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
So sometimes when Laura is making plans, she'll suggest something.
I don't listen properly. I just agree to it, and
then when it comes closer to the moment, I then go,
hang on a second, Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Why is it like this? Yeah, don't be that guy.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Here's a question for you. Okay, here's a question for you. Okay,
I won't tell you the time of the party. Yeah,
what is the perfect time for a kid's party?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Two thirty pm? What? Yeah, it's too late?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
No?
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Too late?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Why two thirty? Because I feel like between twelve and
two you can be like, oh, kids, we're gonna have
a bit of downtime because we're going to be launching
this afternoon for this party. And I also use that
to be like, if you don't have a bit of downtime,
then we can't have the party. And they'll be like,
oh shit, you know, and then two thirty hour and
a half, everyone's out by four four point thirty sea later,
(16:02):
and then I can clean up.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Why don't you have it first thing in the morning
at ten o'clock.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Because I want to have a beer. I feel like
it's more appropriate to have a beer at two thirty
this afternoon, especially if it's a Saturday. You know, if
Laura and I have a breakup, and if you're in
april of a breakup, you should marry Laura. Don't you
dare put your hands anywhere near my wife.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I'm not saying I'm inviting you, you're inviting me.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't have other of them both.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
That's fine.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Laura said two to four, and I was like, that's
pretty late on a Sunday. It's pretty late.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I'm getting. I'm getting. I'm coming to think that me
and Laura a pretty compatible. I get the same thing, Laura.
If you're have a single day, don't be silly don't
be silly. I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
I think I think a ten to twelve party is
perfect because you kind of miss lunch, you don't to
feed them that much. And then like they're not going
to hang around because four o'clock people want to stay
for dinner.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Not in my house, they don't, it's freezing. I think
it's good to like too four because it's also you
can be like you're not gonna do I'm gonna hop
these little shits up on sugar and send them home
and be someone else's problem. But also like morning, I
get it, get it out of the way, like some
people like a good morning party, but yeah, I'm all
about the afternoon. Here's a question for you. Actually, he
(17:16):
is gonna rock your world. I'm ready to be right.
My niece got invited to a party. Birthday parties just three,
so I'm assuming it's a four year old's party because
it's the same age. It was one pm. I guess
what day? Saturday? Monday? What? Sorry? Right, did you just
(17:38):
say it was Aday Monday for a birthday party? Yeah?
She doesn't go to daycare this kid. I'm not sure
why I'm not. They might have their reasons, but I'm
not sure the parents work. I don't know the details,
but I was just so rattled by that.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I was like, I was like, no, although, is that
the smartest move that we've seen from a parent so far.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I think it might be you're like, you instantly dwindle
your numbers down.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yeah, that's good culling.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
But then it's sad for the child. But how old
are they? Three?
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Four?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I don't remember anything.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
They don't have a conscience until they're like six, That
is the right word, conscience.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, I don't. They just give me in crimes and
stuff and just sleeping perfectly self aware here they are, Well,
they don't how many friends they have. If they go
to a birthday party on a weekend and there's like
twenty kids there, and then they have a birthday party
on a Monday and there's like four kids, that is
an interesting time, I know. And like I said, I
don't know the reasoning behind it, but well, I was shocked.
(18:38):
I was in shock. I'm stilling shot.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
We're not we're not here to judge, but like, but
I don't know, surely sure, maybe they're going away, Maybe
maybe they work on the weekend. Maybe it was the
day of the birthday. Some people are very strict and
wanting to celebrate on the day.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Maybe, I don't know. Can we find out call April
call it it wasn't April. I don't know. I just
wanted to call April. I I caught Oscar trying to
impress the local mums. I saw you did see that.
He's got a good one handed push up on him.
Who's taught him that?
Speaker 5 (19:09):
Not me?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Because well I can't do it.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Yeah, we tried to get you to do one handed.
You just he would be like like a potatoes.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yes, thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate it,
working on it, but he he One day I was like,
you got to warm up for this whatever we were doing,
like it's like a joke, and he just got started
doing push ups. I was like, he's like the karate kid. Yeah,
he's like a monkey. This kid like he's like like
if he get if he grabs hold of you, he's
not letting go. And then he's so strong for how
(19:37):
small he can kids do? Is that is that normally
get him checked out? You think he's an aspert. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Doctors are like, I think something's wrong with the kid.
One how to push up.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, dyslexic, but he's definitely going to be dyslexic. But yeah,
I was like, good on your kid, and all the
girls were very impressed.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
How did can I just ask and if anyone wants
to see the video, it is on two doting dads
and jam pikelets as well. How did that situation get
to the point where he was then in front of
the women doing the one handed push ups.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I just think they were just all the kids were
showing off and Oscar's like, you think that's impressive, step aside,
step aside, kids that are real men through ball. Then
the reaction from the mums impressed, some of them are pregnant.
Did he did he react?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Well? Because I'd love my niece Millie. She played netball
on the weekend, got her first goal. People cheered because
she got a very first goal ever in netball. Congratulations,
she ran off right off the court.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
She was like be barrassed.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, yeah, it was Oscar like did he was he
thriving in that environment? Ah? He got a bit shy once,
like he realized that everyone was like, look, did him go?
He was kind of like, I'm like that's a fair response. Man,
if I'm doing push ups and people are.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Like, look at this, go and go.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I can't do it and run so but he was, yeah,
it's like he's a little party trick. I guess there's
certain moments, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
I think like if your child graduates university, high school,
getting married, one.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Had push up, one had to push up up.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
There it's on the list.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I would say, it's top two. Like you do have
a level of arrogance. I staunched in his Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah, I was like, Jesu, it's like your kids want
a gold medal or something.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
He might do one day. You don't know. We could
look back and go, hang on a minute, remember that
time you did it one? Make sure he doesn't peak
too early. He will he's impatient, Matthew. It is time.
It is time to let something off our listener's chest.
And that is perant.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
You don't mostly regression.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You don't.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Just tell me what a parent do you want my
grandpa at the shop?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
You don't want advice from strangers, Go and tell.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Me what is your parent?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Thank you, Ash.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I have a few here.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
I'm gonna start with now. This is a longer one.
This is maybe the longest parent.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
That we've ever had. Wow from Okay, beautiful Sarah, Sarah
Sarah ant Sarah.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
No, she did post this in the Facebook group, and look,
I will I will have to just preface this with
an apology that you and I are both guilty of. Okay, yeah,
let me start with the rent. Sarah says, I have
one child, one, one beautiful ten year old daughter, and
(22:55):
for the past ten years, all people have asked me
is if I'm having another, she will be spoilt. If
she's an only child, she will be lonely, she will
grow up weird looking at you, Maddie Nash. Again, apologies
there it is. I just smile and laugh and say
I'm one and done and happy, which I am. I
(23:17):
know people mean well, but maybe there is an underlying
issue as to why people only have one. Maybe we
had a miscarriage, Maybe we wanted a second one and
it just wasn't on the cards of medically possible high risk.
You know what, Sarah, You are absolutely one hundred percent correct.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah. I feel bad now because, yeah, look, we sort
of rattle off sometimes, we joke.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
We joke, we joke, and we will be more conscious.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, I feel like that was all directed at us.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I mean, like pretty much, it does say our name
specifically here in the rant.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah that wasn't the just permitting factor, Yeah, definitely. But
I seem to think that maybe it has something to
do with us.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
And you know what, I think it's great that we're
here as a community on two doting dads. We're allowed
to listen to our listeners. They can vent, we can change,
we can apologize, we're growing, we're learning change.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
This is this is all great. This is great, this
is a good stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
It's a good thing. Has Sarah stopped listening?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Probably she's probably listening, but if.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
She's here right now, Sarah, we apologize and we thank
you for your parent.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
And we're happy that we're happy that you just have
one child. We're happy, more than happy. Wait no, okay,
we have another one. Matthew from Ebony. Okay, this is
also a lengthy one. Gee there really really want to
get this stuff off of their chance. My husband has
been working away a lot and I was just so
done with parenting and hearing the word mum. They're totally fair,
(24:51):
Like I heard you the last five and fifty two times,
So both of you please shut the fuck up already.
I fully understand any parent gets that. Look, guys, I
really don't want to hear the word mum anymore for
a bit. Okay, fair call, fair call, Florence. My three
year old looks me dead in the eyes. But Ebony,
(25:13):
you are the mum. Gotcha got she got your technicality,
that's for sure. I had no response and took everything
in meat not to laugh because if you laugh, they're
going to do it again. Right, Yeah, we know that.
Sometimes I swear she's thirteen in a three year old's body. Look,
I feel you, and I did send you, Matthew. That
video of that woman who was taking count of how
(25:35):
many times her kid would say mum between the hours
of like what did she get up? It was like
two hundred and twenty seven times over the course.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Of that's beautiful your kids want you, but then nice
to be needed.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
But then she times by the days of the year,
and it was like diabolical.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
As shut up.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
This one here, ash is anonymous, and it's directed at
water bottle at nighttime. A beautiful touch, making sure the
children are hydrated late at night.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Why did this just remind me of that hack the
person had of like the guinea big water bottle.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, someone had literally got like when did you put
in a guinea pig cage and tied it to the
side of the bed. Yeah, it's great, but issue with
water bottles at nighttime. They make my child piss the
bed all the time.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Oh yes, it's damn you water bottles.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah, and we keep having the argument where I think
Oscar's doing it now so we can get up to
we April was a few times I'd be like, stop
drinking so much water, right, like when you're in bed.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Like he's like, yeah, is this there's always been the case.
I don't remember growing up with the water bottle next
to my bed.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
No, I didn't do it. There's a different generation, but
we care about the kids now. It's very different. Okay,
this one's from me because I'm a bit over it.
It's I like to get up and out of the
house immediately. I'm like, I'm so impatient. I'm like, we're
going somewhere, let's fucking do it. And I've already got
a for April to get ready, and that takes forever.
Then I've got to get kids ready and that takes forever.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
And then I were like go and Wii and They're
both like, I don't need to.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I don't care. I will squeeze it out of you.
Couldn't give a ship because then as soon as we
leave the fucking house, all of a sudden, it's I
need to wi it's a surprise.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
We it's not.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, that's what you say to your kids, so relaxed.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
I gotta get it off.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
So I say to the kids, you got a surprise
we in there. It'll get you.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
It'll get you, however, and they're like.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Oh god, because I'm in the car already waiting because
I'm over it. I'm like, I'm not having this argument
with you. Every time April staunch on it.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Whenever I'm like, go on to sit on the toilet.
Most of the time they end up doing like a
massive ship.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Say what was in there? Why are you fighting that?
Don't you feel better now? Amaze? The other day, I
was like, just please do a Wii for me, Do
it for me, Come on, do it for me, Go
and do a week and she's like, okay, went anyway.
She did it on the potty overflowed.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
That's how much we she had it. And I was like,
why are you resisting this? Just get it? Done.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
You need a bigger potty. There was a huge Wii.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
And if you, as a parent, need to get anything
off your chest, that's why we give you parents. And
today's segment was brought to you.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
By Just Low Prices. Every day aldi good different. All right, Matthew,
it is It is that time of the week where
we get questions from our listeners. We love them, We
love the questions. Would you like to go first? Or
would I like to go first? Let's kick it off.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
This is one that we've brought back again because it's
just such a delicious topic.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Oh people love it. I think because it strikes a chord.
That's all's the trigger. If you will, I will help absolutely.
This is things you shouldn't say to a parent. Volume three.
All right, I'll start, Matthew. Someone says to you, mainly
in public, oh gosh, you got your hands full. No shit,
(29:05):
I know, Captain obvious.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
It's like and it won't help me. Yeah, help me
with your hands, not your mouth.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Unless it's like if you crash your car and someone's like,
that's a pretty big, pretty big crash.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
You got your I think you've crashed it and.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
You're like, no shit, Oh thanks, I didn't realize.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I thought I was killing it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I don't know if anyone said this to you, go on,
ooh gosh, aren't your kids a bit young to be
in daycare?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Not to me personally. I think I've thought about it
about other people.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
I thought about it.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Sure, I don't say that.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I don't know. You keep that's one you keep into
because you don't know people's circumstances. They might have to work.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
We want And again I would never say this, but
we went and checked out a daycare because with a
baby coming in September. I don't know if anyone knows that.
And guess how old they take the kids from six
weeks eight? That was closed, very close but still and
I would hey, sorry, sorry, well no, move on, No, look,
(30:09):
that's a great age.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Quickly quick. The next one, when you're pregnant you announce
the sex of your child and it's a girl, and
they respond, will you try for a boy next time?
I'm still pregnant. I haven't been trying for this life.
What is wrong with people? I have? I've got that
a bit. Yeah you would, Oh my god, the C section?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Well, it's not really giving birth, is it. R I
p to anyone who says this publicly.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
I'm not even laughing. I'm just who was said? Who
would have said that to someone? And if you said
that to someone.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
You've thought about saying that to someone, have a good look.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
In the mirror. I would say, okay, next time. All
this is another one. I don't believe in bottle feeding.
I don't care what you believe in. Shut your fucking
mouth too. They're diabolical. I would say they're unforgivable. I
think I may have said that. I think we've no
(31:14):
one's perfect. I think you've spoken. We've spoken about it
before that you've said that. Look at me like that
your high horse. I'm trying to remember it, but I
think you were just saying it in your situa someone
thank you. Don't say that to someone else.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Last one, Oh gosh, I don't know what's wrong with
your kid, but my kid sleeps through the whole night.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
They're fighting words. That is the most offensive thing you
can say to a tired p you are, that's that's
a fight ready to happen. I'm punching you out. I
am straight up punching you out.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Now.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
If you've had something someone has said to you as
a parent, please write in.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Let us we're educating the people of the world.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, there'd be people out there going away saying I
can't say that. No, you can't say that.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Hey, as you asked a question on the Facebook group
which got an astounding response, and I couldn't tell if
it was a serious one or not.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Was it genuine? Yeah it was?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
It was okay for anyone who didn't see the question
on the Facebook group. First of all, joined the Facebook
group three thousand members.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
What's up? Question off the back of it really is
how many days can I repack a sandwich for kids lunch? Yeah?
Because how many days? Did you? It was a Wednesday? Yeah,
he took it the same sandwich three days. What can
I just tell me? Just vegimie. It was hamd wasn't it? No,
it was chicken, it was it was vegimie. It's the
(32:40):
same sandwich every time. So I thought, Eh, he's getting
it again because I'm sick of making it. And then
I put it out to see. I just wanted to
not feel judged. I came thick and fast.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
I think I think, I mean, I think I recall
a second day taking it to school and we're talking
about like a veggiemine or a jam here, but then
a third, a third visit to school.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Come on, man, it's done a lot of cakes. That sandwich.
It's clocking him up. It's just a nice lunch, but
it's not just in a plastic bag in his bag
school bag. Make him a freshy.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Come on, man, come on.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
I just got the shits about it. I really got
the shits about it. And then I said on that,
I said, gee, I feel really judged, and someone just
wanted to say that's the correct feeling.
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Look, I can handle it, god, I think.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
But I knew how to go with me about giving
peanut butter and a sandwich, and you're like, ho, everyone,
I've I've got the sandwich that's now mommified because it's
three years old.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Can I still give it to oscoo for breakfast the
next day? Yes? The answer is it was like, there's
no such thing as a dumb question. I think there
were some good responses, like April took a hack off
the back of it, which was like I won't let
them eat anything when they get home until they finish
their lunchbox, like when they get home very good, which
is okay, that's fine, but.
Speaker 4 (34:06):
Like, ah, hey, we have to stop. I'm not going
to stop what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
We're going to move right along. We have a new segment.
We have a new segment, Matt called Parenting Wins. Parenting
Wins brought to you by Vicks vapor ub now available
in new lavendercent And I think it's important to celebrate
all winds. Yeah, you can rant and then win.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
And I'm not talking about your kid doing one handed
push ups. I'm talking about anything at all. It's the
little wins that we need to celebrate to keep us going.
Put the wind back into our sales.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Oh well said all right, I'm going to go first
because we didn't have a heap of people write in.
Because people, it's best we celebrate those wins. I agree.
This is from Sarah says, I have a sixteen and
a thirteen year old. They are alive. Does that count?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
You're a great job, doing a fantastic job. Rub it
in wherever you can.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
This is from Ashley.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Finally got my nineteen month old to stop saying oh
shit when she drop something. Now she just says, oh dear.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Oh win rub it in.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
This one's from Hannah. I put the robot vacuum on
when the kids go to bed, so it forces them.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
To stay in their room and someone scaring vacuum.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
That is a win. That is an absolute win.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Oh God, we're good parents and Josh, they.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Were, they're friends of mine.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Their eight year old makes them delivers their coffee every morning.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
We trained her.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Well, wow, that is child labored.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
So it's a win.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
This is from Carissa. I ate lunch the first time.
I hated it up.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Today and that's the type of stuff you need to celebrate.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I know it's like to do the coffee. You got
to keep eating that up. Call me crazy.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
I like it when he goes cold ash. This one
is a voice message. It is sent from Frankie hor Photography.
Speaker 5 (36:11):
My son has a whole toy box full of just
absolute shit. But he totally loves it. But I think
at some point he actually took a piece in it.
His four I got so sea girls, I was disgusting,
like I put a job up on air tasker for
a hundred bucks, chucked it out on the curve. He
cracked it obviously. I told him he could have any
(36:32):
toy that he wants if we get rid of his
whole toy box and he was like, okay, cool, so win.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Win, that's all. It took one toy pretty pissed in it.
What's not a freak wants to buy a piece of
toy box?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
You wouldn't say. You wouldn't put that on the description though,
would you be like, free toy box, more toys for
kids or these kids be like great, what's that smell?
Just brave?
Speaker 4 (36:53):
It's a wind.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Wind is a win And if you want to rub
that in here on the podcast, we welcome that absolutely.
I'm all for it. And that was Parenting Winds, brought
to you by vix vapor Rub. For the ultimate parenting
hack this winter, try vix vapor Ub, now available in
a new lavender scent.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
It provides cough and cold relief ash for a peaceful sleep,
because when they sleep, you sleep. Shop the Vix Lavender
range in store.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Or online at chemist Warehouse. Always read the label and
follow the directions from use ash.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I have some devastating news. Oh no, that's the end
of this episode. Not enough, But if you would like
to reach out to us, you can do that. You
can speak to us in the form of a review
in either on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. Hey, whilst
you're at it, give us a couple of stars. We're
a four point nine on Spotify right now.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Love that. You can also reach us on any social
media platform that exists, Instagram, TikTok.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Don't quote us on that. I'm sorry about.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
I just went for I went for it.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Two Doting Dads across all those that I mentioned in
the world, TikTok, Instagram.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
And anywhere else in the world.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That's us. Bye see, you get bye, Okay, We'll go,
I'll hang up Okay.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
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