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July 13, 2025 • 41 mins

Sam Frost doesn’t do warm-ups. She knew her partner Jordie was the one from the very beginning, and so, they quickly became parents. That set the tone for everything that followed.

If you’ve only ever known Sam as the Bachelorette or from Home and Away, you'll realise she's got the energy of someone who is grounded and incredibly open.

She talks through the chaos of early pregnancy, a scare right before baby Teddy was due, and the big mistake Jordie made in the delivery room.

There’s also a really honest conversation about mental health, seeing a psych before birth, and why trying to “get it right” as a parent isn’t nearly as important as learning how to repair when you don’t.


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mister Wicks. Yes, how long was it into the relationship
with April that she felt pregnant? Like eight years?

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Wow, wow, Well this one's a little bit different. Ash,
we have a guest who did things a little bit differently.
I'm talking about Sam Frost. She is beautiful, down to
worth and hilarious.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Sam is the Bachelorette alumni.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
She's gone on to build a career in radio acting
on Home and Away and now travels around Queenslane in
a caravan with her family.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
She takes us through the wild ride of early pregnancy,
a late stage scare with baby Teddy and Jordie, her
partner his perfect timing while Sam was in labor.

Speaker 4 (00:40):
Yes, a strange request from young Jordi while his partner's
sitting there in pain.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Well, thankfully he was in the right place in hospital.
Who knows what could have happened, well said.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
She also opens up about a mental health seeing a
psych before giving birth, and learning that the most important
thing in parenting isn't getting it perfect, it's knowing how
to repair when you don't all right into it.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Let's do it.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Welcome back to two doting dads and one dorting mom.
I'm Maddie, j.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
I'm Ash, and I'm Sam.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Now at it. This is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
And we never give advice. Sam, We never do it.
We never will, We never wanted to. We have no
desire but for you. If you have advice, by all means,

(01:44):
we will never stop you.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
Yeah, there's a loophole we let guests give advice because
it's illegal.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Loophole. Every time we try.

Speaker 4 (01:50):
To do it, people are like, let's stop doing it
all Sam.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
There is a question that we start with every guest.

Speaker 4 (01:57):
And it is do you remember the most trouble you
got in as a child.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Jeez, I feel like I put you on the spot.
You did and if you didn't get in much trouble that.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
I don't think my parents particularly liked me either, rebec
so it's like my whole childhood or just a moment. No,
let me think you guys are like fuck.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Rebellious as a child.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, I mean I never. I Actually I really loved school,
loved it, but I got into a lot of trouble
because I was quite cheeky. It wasn't like, you know,
awfully naughty, it's just like mate, like, come on, stop
being smarter, stopping.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Like smoking in the toilets making no, I actually never smoked.
B Wow, well done.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Did you wag classes always? Like, you know, just things
like that, Like I think I ye, I would get
in trouble for just like normal school rebellion. I think, yeah,
I remember once my mum she grounded me for an
entire year. Who yeah, when I was in primary school
for what I can't remember And I bring it up

(03:06):
now and she goes.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, that happened.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
I can't remember why I did that. And I was like, mom,
that's fucked up. I was like the worst mom ever,
something so bad. But she's like, yeah, yeah, I can't remember,
but still like defends it. And I'm like, that's really bad.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
And they defended, like Matt said, They're like, well, I
guess I'm just the worst mother.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Resident I know said I didn't work in any way?
Did it? Did it help you to be who you
are now?

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Now? I'm like really introverted and get awkward in social situations,
so probably yeah, I'm really grateful.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
And then growing up after school, were you someone who
always wanted to have a family?

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yes, yeah, I think I always did. I love I'm
one of six. I've got four brothers and a sister,
so I love the chaos, I love the fun, I
love tea, I love your bully.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Basically, in my family, there's always one target, and you
don't know who it's going to be. Like we all
get together and you're like, who's going to fuck up first?
And then like it's just in from there and it's fine.
My family says that I can dish it out very well,
but when it's me, I don't handle it very well.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
Yeah, okay, you prefer to just dish it.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I feel it.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I feel it.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
So four do you say? Four brothers?

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Four brothers and a sister and.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
Your sister, And where do you sit on that scale
of eldest?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Number four?

Speaker 3 (04:32):
So I've got two older brothers, an older sister, me
and my two little brothers, so I'm in the middle.
So yeah, I mean I think that's a good spot.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Do you think you want to have that many kids
yourself or lot?

Speaker 3 (04:41):
You know, if I was younger, I probably would, but
like I'm thirty six, and then if I go again,
I'll be like, what thirty eight? Maybe four? Yeah, I
don't know. It's funny because I during my second my
pregnancy that I just did with Bobby. I hate being pregnant.

(05:02):
I absolutely hate it. I mean I wish I could
be grateful about it.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
For what reason do you hate it?

Speaker 3 (05:07):
I was so sick and just like constantly vomiting up,
constantly sick.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
For Teddy or eldest and for Bobby.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Fo Yeah, yeah, it was awful. And then I speak
to girlfriends and I'm like, oh, how's your pregnancy going. Okay,
I must be tough. They're like, yeah, I guess I'm
a bit tired.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
And I'm just like, it's funny.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
We had a question on our Weekly episode about what
not do stated parents. That's a good one, right, Yeah,
especially if it's like they're like, oh, yeah, I'm really
enjoying my pregnancy.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's like I can't handle it. I just I don't
know what to say to them. I can't relate to them.
I'm just like, oh, it must be nice.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
What's the worst place that you think you got sick?
Just out of the blue.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Oh, I've thrown up on a plane and that was
pretty that was pretty bad. Like I was flying in
to Sydney. I think I was in maybe like twenty
five ish, like I was in the twenty zone, so
I thought I was safe because generally it's earlier on.
So I'm like, no, I'm sweet. And then there was
a bit of turbulence on the plane and I was like,
oh no, no, no, and it was like we had

(06:10):
to buckle in and I just like started. I got
the vomit back and I was vomiting. But I was
vomiting so much. I was like it was it was
in my hair, and I was like, stop throwing.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Did you at least have like a spare seat next
to you?

Speaker 3 (06:26):
I had this beautiful elderly couple next to me and
they're like and I was like the whole plane could
smell it. It was and I'm sure there's someone else
is going horrendous. That was probably the worst.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Was it like was it an easy coming vomit or
were you going?

Speaker 3 (06:51):
It was just like it was just splurging out of
my mouth. I can't even lie and once it started
just didn't stop, and then the bag was falling. It
was just, honestly, someone's going so.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Quick?

Speaker 1 (07:05):
Did you find you were carrying? My wife did this April.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
She carried around vomit bags for like her whole pregnancy,
because it's like she just.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Just didn't know.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
Look, I wasn't that. I wasn't that forward thinking. I
thought I was a bit more optimistic all right, foolishly
of course, but yeah, it wasn't yuck.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Did you have any any cravings? I know Laura she
really likes Magie noodles and she likes cordial ginger beer
as well. It's quite helpful for her. Was there anything
that you had?

Speaker 3 (07:31):
I did macas run far too regularly, and that's why
I'm like now, like, oh god, it gained a lot
of weight. And yeah, like chicken burgers, like man, I
would smash one like nearly every single day. Really you
could eat and then obviously I was like, yeah it
was I hate actually thinking and even smells like I

(07:54):
like smells. Jeordie had this deogorant he would wear in
the first round, Master like get rid of it, like
I can't hand still.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
I remember sitting on the bus with April and she
would on the way to the city and she'd get sick.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
It was like, oh, I feel so sorry for you,
so sorry that you had to experience that on an airport.
If it makes you feel any better, we spoke before
Laura's twenty sixty seventy eighty easy and she was vomiting
the other morning. Wow, Okay, yeah, that's brutal.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
And it must be hard because this is their third
so you got two other kids that you have to
look after as well. So that's that's pretty brutal for it.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
That'll be fine this st of self sufficion. Now, I
do want to talk about about Teddy, but before we
do that, was it ever a point? I know that
I always wanted to have kids, and I had a
moment kind of weirdly happened before we got pregnant. I
was with law at the time, but I remember thinking, oh, gosh,
I'm kind of getting a little bit older now I'm
in my thirties, and maybe Laura and I haven't tried

(08:50):
to have kids, and maybe we won't have kids, Like
there's no guarantee that you guys are going to fell
pregnant easily. And I remember it kind of happened weird coincident.
It's right before she feel pregnant. But I was like,
had the thought of, you know, it might not happen
for me even though I really wanted. Did you ever
have that thought?

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Always I often thought it because I also have a
lot of girlfriends in my friendship circle that have had
so much uple falling pregnant, and it's been years and
years and I've been they'd been my best friends as well,
So I've walked with them as they grieve as they
have like even month to month, like every time they

(09:29):
get their period, they feel like they've failed. And I've
walked with them during that and it's been so hard,
and I hadn't tried, and so I was just like
that I could what's to say, I'm any different? So
I did. I often did think that it wasn't gonna
happen for me. I just I don't know. I just
had this feeling that I thought, it's something that I

(09:51):
want so badly that surely the universe isn't going to
give it to me, you.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Know, protection that you're doing to yourself. Yeah wow, it
was you with Jordie at that point.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
Yeah, well it wasn't. It wasn't. I had those feelings
prior to that, years before that. And it was also
not knowing if I was going to meet the right
person because I liked a lot very unsuccessfully something you
might not about.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
I had on another podcast and tell me if this
is not the case. You said that other relationships, older ones,
they gave you a lot of anxiety. Yes, And I
think Laura has always spoken about her previous relationships being
ones that weren't like a safe, warm, happy place for her.
So when you got with Jordie, we were like this
is kind of boring, or we like, this is amazing.

(10:42):
I've been missing this my whole life.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
I never thought it was boring. I did think.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Laura calls me boring.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
But yeah, so like all my previous relationships, I've always
felt really anxious and it was very unhealthy relationships. And
then when I met Jordie, I actually thought when I
first met him, because he's so loving and he's so
attentive and very emotionally intelligent and loves to communicate how
he's feeling emotionally, which is very rare, like a never

(11:10):
I've always had to be like, what is this guy thinking?
You know previously and I'm like trying to like dissect text,
going like I think he likes me, while Geordie's like
very forward with how he feels. And I remember at
the time when I first met him, I was just like,
whoa this is so weird, like.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Do I want this?

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Well?

Speaker 3 (11:28):
I was actually more thinking like this has to be
like a trap like this, you know, because it's you know, yes, correct, Like, yes,
it's a real term.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
I've been married for too long.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
That's what I thought. I honestly was like, Oh, maybe
he's just love bombing me. Maybe he's like a piece
of shit, you know, I don't know, like, and then
I had to work through it and go, oh no,
he's just a genuinely loving and affectionate person. And he's
still like that, Like he's so loving. And it took
me a while while to adjust to a healthy relationship. Yeah,

(12:03):
And I remember my psychologist saying to me, she's like,
the hardest relationships after you've been in abusive relationships or toxic,
you know, unhealthy ones, is the healthy relationships because then
they come along and you're not used to that, and
so you have to sort of settle your nervous system
and because.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
You could sabotage it right without even knowing.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
I'm a massive sabotage.

Speaker 5 (12:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
And speaking of JORDI, where did you meet Jordy?

Speaker 3 (12:29):
I met him in a pub.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
I wonder if we went.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
Back through all that guests and then yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we met Actually yeah, we met
in a pub and he was friends with my brother.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
At the time, I was like, oh, yeah, he's cute,
but I didn't really think too much about it. Yeah,
a few weeks later I was like, nah, I'm going
to hit him up. Oh yeah, and Jeordie always likes
to talverybody's like.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
She hit on me.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
And I did. Yeah. Then when we obviously were in
a really good relationship, I was like, okay, TikTok, let's.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Get this show on the road. That's right.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
And then yeah, and how long was it before you
met and you decided that he was the one that
you wanted to have kids with.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
Oh? Mate, it was pretty early on. It was like
then three months later. I was like, all right, you're
really three months Yeah it was really wow, you just
knew knew.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
It sounds a bit woo woo, so bear with me,
but when you know, you know.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
It was avoiding saying that because it's so cliche, but
it's true, Like when you know, you know, and I
just think, yeah, I just knew, and it's really sweet. Actually,
yeah it was. It was the best.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
And after you fell pregnant, you're towards the tail end,
and this is with Teddy. You're first something happened. Was
it at nighttime that there's a lack of movement that
raised alarm bells for you?

Speaker 3 (13:51):
It was around my due date. And ted had always
been a very active little kid, like in my stumf.
He never like he It's funny because like the patterns
that he would wake up he was doing once he
was born. It was very cute. But yeah, so he
was very active. He would wake up at two and
like kick around.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
So really dumb here, but you can like like there's
like a rhythm to the baby, yeah behaving. Yeah I knew,
I knew about movements. Let me just preface this sentence
saying that I.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
Don't say like an absolute idiot, but yeah, like a routine.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
He's in there.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
Yeah, do you know what you can feel? It like
you can feel like I mean, they must get their
cues from you.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
I would assume, like when you're sleeping. Yeah, like I
wake you up when you're sleeping, getting you prepared for that.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
Exactly, And he did. And so he would like wake
up for a few hours and you go to sleep,
and then he would wake up again and so I
could feel I sort of knew his routine, like when
he would go to sleep and when he would wake
up and be active. And so then towards the due date,
he just completely stopped moving. And it was one of
it was a time where I think mother's intuition had

(15:02):
to kick in and I was just like, something is
not right, and you go. And I went to a
midwife appointment and I was like, he's not moving. He's
usually very active, and they're like did their scans and
tests and they were like, look, we're happy with like
he's there, his heartbeats strong, We're okay. And I was like, okay, okay,
and they sent me home and you take.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
That as gospel.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
The expert, Yeah, the heartbeats fine, and like that's a
massive relief for any expecting it's.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Just my anxiety again. Yeah, he could be feeling my
anxiety and his sort of yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
And then I thought, oh, maybe before they come out,
maybe they just stopped moving. I don't know, Like it
was my first time, I had no idea, and every
pregnancy is different, so all my friends have different stories
as well. But then the second night I went home
and I laid awake all night just with my hand
on my stomach, and I was like, man, he's not moving,
and just that anxiety. So I went in the next

(15:54):
day and I was just like, you have to check this.
I'm telling you something is wrong with my baby. And
then they checked and he ended up having an irregular
heartbeat and they think that he wasn't getting nutrients from
the placenta anymore. So they're like, we're going to get
him out right now. So they I was induced and
he came out five hours later.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Holy.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah, And you said it was around the Jude date.
Whereabouts were you?

Speaker 3 (16:20):
I think it was actually a couple of days after
the Jue date, so I think I was like forty
and three or something.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, so he's ready. He was ready. He was ready, Okay.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
But yeah, and it's just, you know, it's so scary
when you think, oh, what happened if I had just
let him stay there and I didn't, if I just
I don't know. I mean, you can always.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
About it, but I know we have been speaking to
a lot of experts lately, Sam about childbirth and what
dads can do in that environment. Was there anything in
particular that Jeordie did that was very helpful and if
it doesn't have to be To be honest, Ash and

(16:57):
I were both a bit average. Yeah, we'd call it.
At the same time. Was there anything that he did
that you were like, probably wouldn't do that.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
Again, Well, you know what, he was actually pretty good.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
I hate to put him on the spot here, Sam,
because we love Jordy. He's a great guy.

Speaker 4 (17:11):
It great sounds like a really emotional, available, mature man,
which which we love.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
We stand, we love that. But I heard that he
did have a request to a nurse or a midwife.
And again, Jeordie, I love you. Yeah, look, no shame,
no shame, no, no shame. What was it? What to
ask for?

Speaker 3 (17:30):
So Jordy while I.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Was and Jeordie, we love you again, asked for a
cigarette while I was in labor.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
Obviously my body is going through a whole lot. Let
me just emphasize.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Also, we'll just preface that we've done a TENS machine,
so we get, we get we're brave. Okay, we are
brave man.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
That is so.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
We got to be like, okay, that's true.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
We did do a TENS machine and like we couldn't
hack level ten.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
Yeah, we got to you guys must know exactly what.
It's like, yeah, yeah, but yeah, JORDI had a headache,
so the guy and I was like, you know, obviously
in the thick of it, and I was say ten,
and Jordie was like, I hate to be that guy,
but I got a killer headache like you.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
And he's like, can you what about me?

Speaker 3 (18:34):
I know? And I still give him a hard time
about that and is he regret asking heard me talk
about it? And he goes, well, I didn't want the
moment meeting my son ruined.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
By fair fair enough the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
I know.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
It reminds me remember that old panle adder. It was like,
I can't play headache. Don't play with a headache. It's like,
don't meet you keep it the head quick check if
dad's okay.

Speaker 3 (19:02):
First, did they give him one or they actually did?
And then she's like, here'ship panadole. Mate. She's like, I'm
not actually supposed to give you any panadle and he's like, oh,
thanks so much. And then I anyway, so I packed it.
When I was going to hospital with Bobby, I packed
him some panadol.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
Just in case, good good, good good, we can't give you.
And it just give me the green whistle through this.
It's painful, and you're like, that's bad. You just keep
your mouth shut.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
JORDI, I tell you what my brother did do. My
little brother actually was staying with me. I don't remember
when my brother was there, and I was talking about
my birth blah blah blah. Anyway, I was in so
much pain. Obviously, baby just came out. And my little
brother asked me, but you had an epidural, so it
doesn't really count, does it?

Speaker 1 (19:54):
No longer your brother?

Speaker 3 (19:57):
And I was like mate, and yeah, but you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
And I'm like, no, I don't know. I don't know
what you know. It's like he's had one before.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
It's exactly like.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
The list of things not to say to one that's
just had a baby that's a cracker.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
After after the birth of.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
You first, what was motherhood like in the say, the
first first.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Grasp at motherhood.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
I mean, I struggled breastfeeding. I've been very open with that,
and I found that the first time around with Teddy,
I found that really difficult, just the opinions and the
pressure to do everything perfectly. I found that really really
difficult in terms of my connection with my baby. I

(20:45):
loved becoming a mom. I love babies. I just I
absolutely loved it. And I was like, you know, that
was worth a hallish pregnancy. Yeah, I was so grateful
to have a healthy baby, and like just the gratitude
as well to go feel he's here and he's healthy,
because I spend nine months freaking out obviously.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
And then you had the like you can imagine, like
like you're saying, and I felt it when you said,
you're like, I was just so happy he came out,
he was happy and healthy.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
Oh man, like that feeling. Yes, So I really really
genuinely loved it. Just overwhelming joy. But the pressure of
every and like midwife's coming to your house and being like,
oh are you doing this? So how much is and
so much noise and opinions. I found that really difficult.
And you know, as a I think I'm naturally can

(21:31):
be quite an anxious person, so like that just plays
on your anxiety, going oh, yeah, like I think I'm
doing a good job, but everyone's telling me i'm not,
you know, like all telling me how I can do
it better, and you just I don't know. I think
it was really different the second time round. I was
so much more relaxed because I was just like Lah
and I struggled breastfeeding again with Bobby, and I was
just like, whatever, he's a bottle, Like he's so happy

(21:53):
and beautiful, Like that's all you, that's all you. All
I can wish for, you know, And he's so healthy
and beautiful. And I'm like mottlsh model, like you know whatever,
I always say to mums and parents anyone. I'm just like,
do whatever you have to do to get by the.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Path of least resistance.

Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah, and people fall into like you were saying, there's
other voices and stuff. I'm thinking back to my first
and April being like, look where we're at, like all
the time, how big he is, And then when the
second one, you're like.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Yeah, I don't know how many weeks I am like
it was really And also you're looking after a toddler
as well, so you just don't have it went quite
fast considering because you're chasing after a toddler, I don't
have time to know physicized of a p or what.
But yeah, I found it so much easier the second time,
and even like dealing with two people always like how

(22:44):
is it and I'm like, yeah, I really like it.
It's like there's obviously challenges, for sure, but I think,
you know, I'm much more comfortable in my parenting and
who I am as a mom and things that I
don't quite get right or my bad days. I'm more
forgiving to myself. I think.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
Yeah, mums, especially new mums, and we've spoken to a
lot of them, they put so much pressure on themselves
to be able to do the job perfectly straight away.
And we always say it's like the first day on
a new job, right, and then when you do, and
even as dad, it's like when we have our second
I felt more relaxed, did you Oh yeah, yeah, I
kind of feel like, you know what I'm doing, but
something there will.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
Help me figure it out. Yeah, it's going to be okay. Yeah, yeah,
second time on the roller coaster, you know what the
twists and turns are going to be. To an extent,
you've always been really vocal about your struggles with anxiety
and mental health. There is no situation that is a
greater emotional roller coaster. Roller coaster analogies like Scared the
theme there is a wild ride those part of it.

(23:48):
It's tumultuous, for your emotions, Like it's fucking wild. Even
for people going into childbirth mum or dad that have
great mental health, it can really throw them. So how
did you make sure that you're on top of your
mental health postpartum?

Speaker 3 (24:01):
I made sure that I saw a psychologist beforehand, Like
during my pregnancy, I went and saw a psychologist because
I was really nervous about that. And I was just like,
I've had depressive episodes throughout my whole life, and there's
hormones and there's all sorts of things happening change, and
so I went and saw a psychologist beforehand, and just

(24:22):
to make sure that I was healthiest version of myself
mentally going into this. And also she gave me lots
of tips and advice on how to navigate through motherhood.
And she said, one of the things that I always
think about, and I always remind my sister as well,
because we're always chatting about this sort of stuff. She's
got girls older eleven and seven. The most important thing

(24:44):
you can do as a parent, even if you make mistakes.
You can make mistakes, you can lose your temper, you
can you know, have a bad parenting day. She's like,
repair is the most important thing for healthy foundations for
your children and your relationship to create secure attachment style.
So she's like, if you be accountable, if you say

(25:06):
sorry and repair that, it's that's the greatest gift you
can give your child. And I thought that was really refreshing.
So days that I do have, you know, a shorter
you know, I get frustrated or I'm like snap, or
I'm just like, you know, just like ah, you know
those days when you're just like getting pulled in every direction.

(25:26):
I just think it was just a bad moment. I say, so,
I'm like, I'm really sorry, I you know, and I
make sure I repair that and then I think, okay,
then we just reset and we start again. And there's
always going to be days. There's going to be there's
days where I think that, you know, I'm like, man,
I really nailed it, you know, minimal screen time, healthy food, calm, fun. Yeah,

(25:49):
I'm like, look at me. But then other days I'm like,
there's Bluie, here's some mcdonal's chips, and like, you know,
you just you have good days and bad days, and
I think we just need to be under to ourselves
when we have those moments where we're not our best
and just be forgiving to ourselves and try.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
To repair that.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
Yeah, the repair things super important, and like, yeah, I
feel like sometimes when you have those bad days and
you don't address it before they go sleep, I feel
so bad, oh man, because like also as well, they're
looking at you going, okay, well, if you're not willing
to repair this with me somewhere, then I'm not willing
to repair my behavior with whoever else I'm dealing with
down the track.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Yeah. Yeah, I suck at saying sorry. But even sometimes
when I'm trying to get Marley, she's very defined at
the moment, so whenever I ask her to do anything,
it's always like in a moment. Sometimes getting out of
the bath, I'm like, I'm gonna fucking grab that sounds
I'm on her shoulder, but I'm like, instead of trying

(26:45):
to coax her out of the bath, I'm like, I'm
just going to grab her, wrap on a towel and
take your upstairs to get a change. And sometimes she's like,
oh that was like Daddy, you like you've spoken an
angry voice, and I'm like, I'm sorry, yeah, I should
have got angry. And it's wild how much of a
difference it makes, and watching them hear those words coming
from a parent.

Speaker 4 (27:04):
And like telling them why you're sorry too, Like I
felt like, yeah, I feel if I don't do that,
I feel like I've loved it, and yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
Think it's so important. And even from like Ted's only two,
but I'm constantly like if I like am short with
him and I'm just like, I think it's so important,
and even with him, I'll be like, I'm so sorry,
he's actually very cute. I'm like, that was mummy's fault.
I really shouldn't have spoken to you that. I'm just
feeling I'm just really tired at the moment, really sorry,

(27:31):
And he will go, that's mummy's fault. It's funny, It's
really funny, and I'm like, yeah, night.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
It was when you talk about the early days of
the pressure that you were feeling and like that build
up of anxiety. Is there any situations where your support network,
your friends, or your family were really helping you through
those moments?

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Oh? Yeah, I mean, you know, throughout my entire life,
I have been so blessed with beautiful friends. I've got
so many great friends and family. They're my biggest supporters.
They're honestly yeah, I mean I don't think I could
do anything without their support. They're just so loving and
they're always there to listen. And I've one of my

(28:19):
best girlfriends she's in Melbourne, and I would just send
her a voice note being like, oh my god, I'm
going to have a mental breakdown. She's like, go outside,
and I'm like, okay, help anyway. And it's really refreshing
having friends that don't judge you, that just go mate
it's a bad day.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
It might be really obvious, but if there are people
listening where they know that a mum or dad has
struggled in the past with mental health and they're finding
it tough with a newborn or their child, if they
reach out to them with their problems, like you said,
listening with no judgment. Is there any other advice you
can give of how people can better support when someone
is reaching out with their problems.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
Listening with that judgment one hundred percent. Also just allowing
people to feel safe to talk, for women especially, I mean,
women work through their problems by talking about it. That's
just about how our brains work. So certainly like providing
space to be there to listen to support also if
you can, Like my sister will come over and she

(29:20):
will just like sit with me and just be I
just think it's the presence of people all the difference.

Speaker 4 (29:25):
It's hard to like open up if there's the fear
of being judged about how you're actually feeling, and that's
probably a really big reason a lot of people don't,
so they definitely should do that. So it's pretty powerful.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
Yeah, you know, especially men.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Now, I've got to say, you look fucking amazing for someone.

Speaker 6 (29:43):
Who's I was just gonna ask and say that is
so lovely.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
I had a shower and make up on. That's the
trick that he's so lovely. It's actually been three months, so.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Oh god, I know that.

Speaker 4 (30:05):
How are you going with with I mean, you've got
a toddler and a three month old?

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Yeah, how's that? How's that going?

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Oh man? I love it so much, I really do.
I think, like, I mean, there's obviously testing times, but
you know, I think Ted's at a really funny age.
He's too, and it is so fun. It's hilarious because
you see the good parts of yourself as well, and
you also see that not so great parts about yourself.
And you're like, oh, he's copying me. That sounds exactly
like me. Yeah, he's got this bit of attitude and

(30:33):
he'll go I'll be like, Ted, come on, scrabower, and
he goes, hang on, oh yeah, and I heard my
own voice echoed back, and I was like in this
small child and I was like, oh, yeah, you just
want to catch yourself going.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
It's funny they pick up on like my son would
pick up how April swears and not how I swear,
and I'd be like, that's you.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
You did that.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
I have to tell you, my beautiful, precious head. I
couldn't talk about my son forever and ever and ever.
He's the best and I love him so much. He's
a very gentle, sweet angel. He's so sweet. It's like
he's too pure for this world.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Is what I always think.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Anyway, It's very funny when the very first time he
caught me off guard, he said to me, He's like, Mama,
come here, and I was.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Like, okay, lovely.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, So like Toddleday between me and my lent down
and he leans into me and I think he's going
to give me a kiss, and I'm like, oh honey,
and he goes, fux sake.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
It's always fox sake. It's always and that's you, right.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
That's.

Speaker 5 (31:41):
Just like he looks straight at me, he goes, that's you,
and I'm like, I got and I was like, maybe
you didn't say that, like and then like every time
he loves cars, like and so his truck trailer it
always falls off his robes and fu sake.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
At least he's using it in the right car text.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
I know. I'm so proud of him.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
It's a weird situation.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
Boy, it's a weird situation as a parent when they're
like they do something like that that you're kind of
proud and it's funny, but you can't show those emotions
because you don't think.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
It's and that Like the kid, if I've laughed.

Speaker 4 (32:14):
At things my kids have said and then they thought
I'm allowed to do this, and they keep going, it's.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Like, well, yeah, we've tried. I haven't addressed it. I'm like,
don't address it. Because even little things like we say
to Ted, stop driving cars on your brother's head, like
things like that. I say that about four times a
day because he always drives his cars on his head.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
And he's like, it's good. It's a perfect peal.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
Right, And because I say don't do that, of course
that's all he ever does. And so I'm like, I
don't address to.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Swearing, and you're like, drive on your brother's head. You
can swear all.

Speaker 3 (32:49):
Yeah, it's like you got to do a bit of
a best psychology. It's like trying to like, do you
kung food trick them into like doing the things that
they're supposed to be doing. But yeah, anyway, I have
to be really mindful of it.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
I've given up. I'm we even watching my language now.
I just like, whatever they know it's bad, they can
say it. I don't even care. Oh that's a refreshing
When I call Ash in the car and it don't speaker,
my kids are like, there's not the one. I can't.
I just honestly, I've just given up. I think at one.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
Point we were like, just let's just watch it as
parents do, which is I mean, it's right or wrong
thing to do whatever. And then I'm just like, I think, April,
we really just watch I swinging, and I'm like, you
know what, I'm gonna do the opposite.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
I really couldn't give a shit anymore. I'm just gonna
got three kids. Yeah, we're just all swearing each other.
She's just as bad.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
Yeah, I mean, like I because I've got a horror
like I'm the worst that swearing, Like I'm so bad
at it. I blame my brother's the truck driver. My
dad's a truck driver. Like it's just the truck drivers.
It's the truck country. You need to watch out for that.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, Avery's the drive truck.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
So that's probably why. So I'm just like that's because
of them, and that's why. But you know, it's part.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Of your personality too, right, And I think I did
get a bit of feedback on the podcast, say Matt
swears too much, but I was.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Like, you, I swear too much him.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I don't know if you feel this at all, And
if you don't, you can be like that's just you,
big guy. But I always wanted to be a dad,
Like always were so excited. When I became a dad,
it was amazing. And that wind is just fucking.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
Is that wind? That how I thought it was a
truck calling.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Very good. But I always wanted to be a dad,
And when I became a dad, I was like, this
is fucking great. I know it's cliche, but I was like,
this is amazing. I love it. And now that I'm
staring down the barrel of thirty eight, I think social
circles become a lot smaller, and I'm kind of I'm
more dad than I am my Matt before kids, maybe

(34:47):
I think with Marley and Lola was a bit even keel,
but now I'm becoming like ninety percent dad, and I
think I'm kind of having a bit of an identity crisis,
a bit where I'm like, oh, like, I want to
retain some of my youth. Do you love who you
are now as a mom? Do you try and hold
on to parts of your youth at all?

Speaker 3 (35:05):
You know? I actually I was talking to my sister
about this. I think there are parts that I miss,
but the majority of it, I think I'm a far
better person now. I think I'm I think I think
back on who I was. I was like, man, I
was so selfish and yeah, and my sister, my sister
always says, she's like, you're the best version of yourself

(35:27):
now than you've ever been. You're the happiest, And I
think that's because I have a different relationship with my past,
and I'm actually trying to get better at it because
you often we always think about all the horrible things
we've done, you know, all like the selfish things or
the mistakes we made.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Right before I go to sleep.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
Yeah, right, what is with that?

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Every night?

Speaker 3 (35:47):
I'm always like, why can't I think about all the
great things I've done?

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Instead?

Speaker 3 (35:51):
You're like, man, you're a real piece of shit. I'm like,
oh my god, yeah, I know, but I think I'm
I think I'm the best version of myself now. But
there are parts of me that like I miss. I
don't particularly work that much at the moment I'm solely
focused on, but like, there's the creative part of my

(36:14):
brain really wants to be creative, so I miss that.
But in terms of like I miss dancing. Actually I
really miss dancing with my friends because I was. I mean,
I'm not very good at it, but I really love it.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
Play the track people comes on. I don't know, but there's.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
Wrung with it, yeah, I mean sure, but yeah, there'sdaily
parts of myself that I missed. But all around, I
think I'm a far better person now.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
I agree.

Speaker 4 (36:50):
Yes, you sort of become like you do look back
and you go, oh, I was so selfish but that's
because you really just have to worry about yourself right
now that you've got kid multiple.

Speaker 3 (36:59):
I'll tell you what I do. Miss I always say
to Jordi all the time, I was like, man, once
these abs come back, just got away. And I'll always
get like, really, dagonshots my son, Jordy, he goes. I's like,

(37:20):
and he goes. I have that for like three months,
and they're like, I feel you've been pregnant for about
one hundred years. But I'm like, don't you worry, it's
coming back.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
When Christmas comes around, I will send you a tube
of protein to One question we always end on is
when Bobby and Teddy they've grown up, no longer living
at home, what's the one thing you want them to
remember about the house they grew up in.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
Oh wow, that's a beautiful question. Makes me want to cry.
I often, I very often think about what kind of
legacy am I leaving for my boys? And you know
what's interesting, I'm not sure if you guys have felt
the same, but since becoming a parent, I've started to
think about mortality, and you think I often think about
that and I think far out I'm going to leave

(38:08):
this earth one day and I'm like, yeah, and I'm like,
what am I leaving behind? What type of person? I'm
very sentimental. I always write notes for my boys, like
even if there's a photo all right on the back,
something beautiful that I remember about that day because and
I think it's also because I lost my step dad
really suddenly, so I just think quite young, so I
think to know, whether you know, I just freak out

(38:30):
about that some of stuff. Even when I caught the plane,
I was like, if I die, I love you guys
so much. He's like, ha, You'll be fine. We love you.
I'm so weird about it, and like anyway, So yeah,
I often think about that, and I just hope they
always feel like I created a very loving home. I

(38:53):
always feel like they felt safe to be themselves. I
hope that they Yeah, I hope they feel like an
abundant it's of love and joy. I really truly feel
that in my core. And I always say that I'm
going to build a house at the back of our
house so they can never leave. Like, actually, do you
know what's very will quickly say. A very cute thing

(39:13):
that I do at the moment is I do positive affirmations.
With Ted, and he's so cute and little, and so
every day start saying and he goes, I am so smart.
I guess I'm so beautiful and caring and kind and
his little cute voice and he's sort of and it's like,
so cute. I just hope that my boys know how
loved they are and how capable they are, and like,
I just think they're the best things in the whole
entire world, and they've made my life so much better.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Great answer. It was a beautiful answer. And this is
going to sound woo woo to bear with me, but
you are someone who like radiates warmth. I'm like, those
boys are so lucky to have you as a master,
and Jeordie is very lucky to have you as a wife,
and we'd be very lucky to have you on the podcast.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
That is so good. I really appreciate it. Thank you
so much.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Good luck. By the way, with the we spot before
we started recording, you're steering down the barrel.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
At six months six months, Yeah of course, yeah, yeah,
six months in the caravan. We're going to set off
in about a month. You know, fun, it'll be very fun,
but like you know, close quarters, so we'll have to.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
We'll keep it close eye you travel contents on seven
Is it seven mate? Yeah, yeah you can.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
We've got a tally show Jordy seven tenths event. You
can stream it on seven plus.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
So yeah awesome, I love it. Thank you so much, pleasure,
thanks so much. Avin As Before we go, we have
to tell the listeners something very important. In fact, you
could argue that this isn't just a request, it is
a land I think I want to say it straight

(40:54):
to it. Okay, we need you, if you're listening right now,
to please give us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify,
because these are the reviews that are the fuel that
keeps us going after two very long years. Without these reviews,
we would dry up. It would be nothing. We will
be simply dust.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
We would Oh you could join us on social media.
Two Doting Dad's Instagram, TikTok Facebook. We look forward to
seeing you in all three areas of the Internet because
we're there waiting. Goodbye, join us.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Bye. Two Doting Dads Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

Speaker 4 (41:37):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
people's today,
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