July 15, 2025 • 57 mins
***TW***
This week we've created space to chat with registered psychologist, Victoria Barendsen, who specialises in working with children and provides sexual abuse and sexual harm prevention therapy.
Like you, we've been devastated by the Melbourne investigation of alleged incidents in childcare centres, and we want to do something about it.
Victoria explains how you can try to protect your children from vulnerable situations and how to be more proactive about your child's safety.
*******
We also get into your Par-Rants for this week, where you air out your parenting grievances. This week's rant hit a nerve and our pockets!
Brought to you by ALDI
Just low prices every day. ALDI. Good Different.
Link: https://www.aldi.com.au/
We also answer your questions:
- What are your top kids films?
- How do you make time for sexy time with your partner when you're the parent of two kids?
This episode contains discussion of child sexual abuse and may be distressing to some listeners. If you or someone you know may be impacted by this content, please seek help.
Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800 (24/7 support for young people)
1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 sexual, domestic and family violence counselling)
Lifeline – 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support)
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, I can't help but notice that one of us
had a bit of a sore tummy before.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Oh bro, what the heck was that?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Did you hear me? Jess and I was like, let's
play some music. I knew it was like Jess and
I were like, oh, how you been pretty good for me? Oh? Fuck?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You feel better? I came downstairs and there's music playing.
I was so suspicious. I was very suspicious of you, guys.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I was like, you tummy hasn't made a noise to him?
Be like, put some David Gray on to round out
your guts.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Guys, I'm really sorry. Okay, but you feel better. I
would like to say yes, but the answer is no.
Now I feel embarrassed, but whatever.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay
and I'm farty MG pants No, I'm mad. And this
is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad, and we never give advice. We don't,
but every now and then we will reach out to
those people who have far more wisdom than the two
(01:28):
of us, which is majority of people. Let's speak completely honest. Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
But we had a message in the Facebook group recently
which made a request for a specific guest. They were like, Hey,
we know you guys aren't really experts. This is Celeste.
Shout out to celestiout if she's listening. Now, before we
go any further, I do just want to make a
(01:48):
quick note and.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Say, Matt, this episode does contain some discussions of child
sexual abuse, which could be distressing for some people.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
If you or someone you know may be impacted by
this content, please seek help. We will put some details
of those organizations that you can reach out to in
the show notes. Now I will flag that this chat
that we're about to have it's only about fifteen minutes.
It's not the whole episode, So if you did want
to skip this part, I'd skip about fifteen minutes and
then we'll get into our normal episode. So going back
(02:17):
to Celeste, she did a post in the Facebook group.
It was off the back of a twenty six year
old childcare worker, Joshua Dale Brown, who's been charged of
sexual abuse of children whilst in daycare. Absolutely horrific and
so Letse wanted to know as parents, what information can
we have to be more mindful of the topic, more proactive.
(02:38):
Now it is confronting and it's really easy to avoid
the topic altogether totally. But we thought it was a
great suggestion from Celeste, so we thought we will reach
out to an expert, so we reached out to Victoria.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
She runs the Safe Kids Project, which is a handle
on Instagram. She's a registered psychologist based in New Zealand
who specializes working with children and provides sexual abuse and
sexual harm prevent therapy.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Victoria, I do have to say a very big thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
You are so welcome. I was so delighted to be
asked to come on. I'm so passionate about prevention work,
so any opportunity to speak about this and shear my mission,
I'm here.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I feel like the conversations we're about to have, I
feel like they should be prioritized as much as like
a first aid course for parents. But for whatever reason,
I think it's one of these things that it's such
a tricky subject that it's easy for parents to completely
avoid it. So I know that so many people are
going to benefit from this chat. Yeah, to start off,
(03:40):
at what age do you start having conversations with your
children about consent and body autonomy?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Such a great question, and I do believe that a
lot of parents try and put the hit in the
sand and not talk about it purely. Like there's a
lot of reasons, but I do believe one of the
main reasons is they're growing up. We never had these conversations.
And it's not that it was the fault of our parents,
but a lot of the time they didn't know how
to share this education with us. So it is a
(04:07):
really new way of working, and it's you're right, it's
like just as important as first aid. I think it's
just as important as we teach our children to swim
or cross the road. Teaching them about their body is
so so important and how to keep it safe. So
my daughter is four and my son is coming up too,
and I've been teaching them about body safety education since
they were born, but more specifically once they could sort
(04:30):
of comprehend what I spoke about and what I talked about.
So for my daughter, from two, she was able to
label her body correctly. She was able to let me
know if she wanted physical content like a huggle or not.
She was able to say no to me and know
that it will be respected. So I would say anywhere
from like one and a half to two is a
really good age to actually start introducing to your child
(04:52):
that their body belongs to them and they get to
make choices that feel it.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
In terms of language, and like, sorry, this is a
really dumb question, but you know, I know that people
are so particular about certain words are good to use
and some are bad to use. Do you say what
they are in terms of vagina penis or do you
have to give other words to kids at that age?
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Yes, so at that age I recommend using anatomically correct labels,
which are what our body is called. So I often
say to pearents, if you call a knee a knee,
and a nose and nose, why do you call a
volver a fannie or a.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Penis a willie?
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Like it instantly tells your child that that's not a
part of your body you're allowed to talk about, or
that's not something we're comfortable talking about because we instantly
give it a nickname. And so anatomically correct labels for
body parts is like number one when it comes to
body safety education because it creates a really open dialogue
with your child for them to know that those parts
(05:51):
of their body are normal, and if there were any concerns, they've.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Got the language to talk to you about it.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
And from a prevention standpoint, has been some research done
with convicted sexual offenders towards children, and they have said
one of the biggest deterrence to harming a child is
if they have the correct anatomical language for their body,
because it instantly says to them that child's having conversations
at home, or that child has parents that are willing
(06:18):
to talk about their body. That's not somebody I'm going
to target. So it's really really like powerful from a
prevention standpoint, And on the other side of something does
happen to your child, it's really important that they have
the correct language to be able to tell you about it.
I've worked with in multiple cases where children haven't had
the correct terms, and what that means is from a
(06:40):
legal standpoint, it can actually be really difficult to move
things along the legal system. So we want to give
children the language about their body to normalize it and
reduce any shame or stigma. And also that really helps
with prevention.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
In terms of consent, it's a tricky one because like
this morning, for example, I was trying to brush my
daughter's hair, Marley's six, Lola's four, and what they'll say
when they don't want to have their hair brushed is
my body, my choice. No, And then obviously I want
to acknowledge that, but at the same time I need
(07:15):
to brush their hair. It's a bit of a non negotiable.
So how do you explain when and is inappropriate to
have those boundaries crossed?
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Amazing, it's so nice to hear those conversations coming from
young children that they know their body belongs to them.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
That's amazing.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
So I have some roles around body autonomy and that
my child. My children get to make choices for their
body all of the time, except in three situations. The
first is health, second is hygiene, and the third is safety.
So in those situations it is my role as a
parent to put a limit in and say, actually, this
is what's happening. So that sounds like the case for
hair brushing. And I feel that one to my poor
(07:52):
my daughter, who's full list here is like these huge
ringlets and she goes to a forest kindy, and so
she goes to kindy and she just comes from.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Leaves and sticks in late back.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
So I really I feel this because we have a
role in our house that we have to have her
hair up for KINDI. So the way that I recommend
talking to your child when you get to a body
autonomy limit is to be really clear. And the first
thing is telling them what you're doing. So I'm brushing
your hair right now, while you're doing it. You need
to do it otherwise it's going to get into a
really big tangle and we might have to cut your hair.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Really sure, I'm not sure?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Give black examples, and then you ask for some clarification.
So you might be like, do you have any questions?
See if they want to ask, and then what I
recommend doing. So being really clear is the first part
on what you're doing, and then the second part is
provide opportunities for control. So in those situations where they
don't have a choice or they don't have control over
what's happening to their body, allow them opportunities like what
(08:45):
color hair brush do you want to use? Do you
want to brush your hair first and then dad will
do it second, Like provide little moments and there is
there a favorite toy you want to hold it? Or
is there something that you can be doing while I
do your hair? So moments where they feel in control
of a situation that actually they don't get a choice over.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
For me, at home, we might playfully smack mum on
the bottom or you know, the kids they think it's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
But is that something that's inappropriate or.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
I wouldn't say it's inappropriate.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
I think it's really important for children to see healthy
relationships between parents. But maybe what you could do in
there is every now and again weaven some modeling of consent,
like to your wife or partner, Hey, like I really
want to give you a little snack on the bum?
Is that okay with you? You know, like make it
like a little bit playful so the children can see
that aspect of consent, or maybe you do it and
(09:35):
then you say, hey, is this something that you find
fun or is this like enjoyable so that the children
are seeing that as well. But I think if it's
really lighthearted and it brings joy, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
One thing that I've noticed is like, you know that
game of like don't he's going to smoke in the
bottom and I'll chase the kids around. And then I've
seen Marley interact with her cousins and then they will
play that same game with other cousins. Obviously Marley from
her perspective, it's completely harmless. Then I'm thinking in my
head like, oh my gosh, am I am I putting
these games in place which are going to be like
(10:09):
inappropriate with other kids? Should I be mindful of that?
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
I feel like there's a real fine line, right, Like
we don't want to lose the fun of childhood, but
we do want to just make sure that our children
are respecting body autonomy of others. So you could say,
before you play that game of like Dad's gonna do
you say, pet your barm or chase you or whatever
it might be, you might say, do you want to
play this game? And let me know if you want
to stop at any time, because you're just then modeling
(10:36):
to them what consent looks like that actually, you can
be playing something can be really really fun, but you
can also say stop when it feels right for you.
And that same question, like you might be chasing them
around the house and you might say.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Mary, are you still having fun right now?
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Like it's just a little chicken that gets her to
chicken with her body and then knows that there's a
safe place to communicate it and then when it goes
into playing it with your cousins with her cousins, you
might just say, oh, remember to ask for you to
somebody's body, like is this again? They actually want to play, Like,
just check in first. It doesn't have to be like
sit down, like really serious. Like when I'm teaching young children,
my children can sent I do it all through modeling.
(11:11):
I never explain to them necessarily like don't touch other
people's bodies. It's actually just through my interactions every day
with them that they learn what consent looks like.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, we have a few listeners.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Reach out about some tools of parents that you can
share with parents who can help their kids speak up
confidently when boundaries are crossed.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
So I believe that this comes from lots of modeling
at home. Like I just said that children need to
see us as parents advocate for their boundaries as well
as us putting in boundaries for ourselves. So how this
might look like If a family member was to come
around to my house, I would say to my daughter, Hey, darling,
remember your nanny's coming over this afternoon. Remember you get
(11:52):
to choose how you say hello, And then once my
mum arrives, I would say, oh, nanny's here, would you
like to give her a hug, a kiss, a wave.
In moment, I'm saying to my daughter, listen to your body,
you share what feels right. But I'm also putting in
a boundary with my mum to remind her of what
kind of interactions we have in our family and how
that looks. So that's modeling how to interact. And the
(12:15):
other one is sometimes I will tell my children when
they've crossed my personal space.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
So last night I was over it, like it was
just one.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Of those days, and my husband was on a night
shift and I was like, I'm done, and they were
all over me for story time, and so I was
just like, hey, mom needs some space right now. My
daughter kicked off and like told me how sad I'd
made her feel. And that's fine, that's all part of it.
But it's like, actually, as a parent, I need my
children to see me putting in boundaries for my body,
to give them the permission slip to put in a
(12:44):
boundary for their body. And so when we think about
teaching children to be confident to say no, we need
to really have these foundations of them seeing consent in practice, because.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
The more that they see it happening, the more.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Likely they can like draw on that experience and say, actually,
I can say no right now and it should be
all right. And another thing with that is if we
as parents or kidgivers really respect a child's no, they're
more likely to say it. So say you're playing like
a tickling game with the kids and they're like.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
No, and you actually stop.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
In that moment, you're teaching your child that they're no
matters and that you should listen. So the more we
can practice and give children opportunities to say no, to
see us as parents saying no, they're really good ways
to build confidence.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I always I guess, double guess how I parent when
I know that there's so many little harmless sayings that
people then spin it and say, actually, that's quite detrimental.
For example, no one likes to dip adobba, you know.
And I know that there's been times where you know, Maley,
for example, any minute little inconvenience from another kid, whether
(13:48):
one of her family members or her sister, she'll run
to me. And I've said before like come on, Malle,
no one makes to dip adoba. And then afterwards I'm like, oh,
my gosh, that's sending the wrong message, right, So how
do you how do you make sure that you're communicating
in a way that doesn't discourage them to stand up
when something has happened.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
Yeah, really good question.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
I know we catch ourselves and parenting moments all the time,
so I think that's only natural. Yeah, when it comes
to communication, I think that again, it's a really like
foundational thing that you keep building on when it comes
to sharing stuff that's important to a child. When we
as parents have capacity to try and listen, you know,
(14:33):
in those moments where she's come to you and shared
something like, oh gosh, that sounds really tough, how could
you do? Something like what could you do about that?
It almost is easier for us as parents to just
shut it down and say stop, stop telling, because that's
what feels right for us in that moment, particularly if
we're just regulated ourselves or we've had a really busy day.
But if we can hold space even for the little things,
(14:53):
that does really help them eventually, is something does happen,
they know, oh that's somebody I can go and speak to.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Feels really safe.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
But another role that we have in our house is
we have a no secrets policy. So absolutely zero secrets
are allowed in our house.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
This morning, I gave Lola a piece of pizza for
breakfast and I was like, don't tell mom, And then
I'm like.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Shit, yeah, so that would be like a bit what
we don't do in our house, and it happened before,
and like, we definitely catch ourselves purely because then we're
saying to the child that it's okay to keep some secret.
And when children are young, they're thinking is so black
and white, and so if you say, oh, that secret's
a good secret or a safe secret and this one's not,
(15:36):
like they don't understand. That's way too gray. And so
with our family, we just have no secrets full stop.
And again it's not like something I sit down and
talk to a four year old about, like allow it
to come up really naturally. She brought her brother a
truck and it was super, super noisy for his birthday.
She's like, oh, we'll keep this a secret, and I
was like, no, darling, this is a surprise. And so
(15:58):
then we talk about surprises like they're really cool. That's
something somebody will eventually find out about. But yeah, steering
away from secrets or keeping this information is really important
and it can be Yeah, something as simple as don't
say you have pizza for breakfast, or don't have an
ice cream, don't say that we got an ice cream
when we're out And yes, like from an open communication
(16:21):
point of view, really good, but also from a grooming perspective, secrets.
Keeping secrets is one of the steps in the grooming process,
and that's in order to establish trust with the child
and also with the family. And so often they might
start with something really small like, oh, don't tell them
we got an ice cream when we were out watching
whether or not the parent, whether or not the child
(16:43):
will tell the parent, and that kind of tells them, Okay,
we're beginning to build trust, and then they build on
that and build on that. So having no secrets yet
really important for communication and also another really important prevention tool.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
There was some horrible news to come out of Melbourne
just this past week, just to do with daycare. Is
there any signs that parents should look out for in
environments to assess their safety.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah. I feel like this one's a really hard, hard
topic and my heart really goes out to all of
those people that were affected in Melbourne because the children
were so young, it would have been really really hard
to sort of know that something was wrong, because at
that age they're really unlikely to have the vocabulary and
comprehension to be able to express that to parents. What
(17:31):
I do say, though, is that when your child goes
into an early childhood setting, you as a parent have
every right to ask questions and to become really curious.
I find often parents wort to stand back and don't
want to be like overprotective or overbearing or over the top.
But actually, what if we put our child's safety at
the center, we can feel a lot more comfortable to
(17:52):
have conversations. And so I suggest, and these are things
that I do with my children, Like what is your
child protection policy? So do you know if something happens,
what are the steps to follow? Do all your staff
members know the steps to follow? Another one, a big
one for me is supervision, So what are the ratios
for the children to teach her? And also in the center,
(18:14):
are there spaces where a child might not be seen,
they might be hidden, So like really mindful of who's
watching my children, becoming really mindful of the environment, so
changing or toileting, who is supporting the children through that?
Is that leaving one teacher, one adult alone with a child.
(18:34):
Is it in an open space? So I think it's
really hard to look out for certain signs at that
young age that.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Something's gone wrong.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
But I would be more trying to look at it
from Can we use what has happened to drive some change?
And I hope that happens with policy and legal levels
within the early childhood sector. But as parents, we are
allowed to ask the questions, and I would really encourage
your listeners to who ask them.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Is there any type of language that you can recommend
when speaking to your own kids if you think something
may have happened.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Yeah, So in that situation, I always say, become really
curious with your child and notice what happens within you.
Like if you've noticed maybe something different in their behavior,
maybe they're really isolated and withdrawn and worried all the
time and don't want to attend to their early childhood
center or for all of a sudden, then become really
(19:28):
curious with that. Don't go straight in with maybe what
you assume has happened. It's better to be curious. So
it might be I've noticed that at drop offs you're
really upset at the moment, what's going on there? Or
they might tell you something's happened and you might say,
can you tell me more about that? Or what happened next?
And you'll notice that in my languaging, I'm not saying, oh,
(19:49):
did this person do that? Or did you then do this?
Or did you feel this? No, it's really open, like
what happened next?
Speaker 5 (19:56):
What was what was going on around that time?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
So really keeping it as open as possible and being
really curious.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Where you can.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
So, I have a six year old boy and he's
at the age where he can't keep his hands off
his penis, and look, it's outside of the pans, inside
at home, whatever it might be. But I'm really worried
about shaming him for her. Is there any steps I
can take or anything I should be doing to make
sure that I don't? He's educated, he's educated.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Yeah, yeah, I'm so here for these questions. This is
so nice to be talking to two dads like this,
I said earlier. Often I'm speaking with mum, So I
love this, and how you don't want to cause shame
like amazing. So a child exploring their body, all parts
of their body, very very develop mentally normal.
Speaker 5 (20:44):
So what I would.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Say in this space is I encourage children to recognize
the difference between a private place and a public place.
So say he's touching his penis and it's in the
lounge room, you might say, hey, this is a public place.
You're more than welcome to touch your body, explore your body.
But that's something we do in a private place. Private
place is room or the bathroom. So give him the
context that that behavior is appropriate for and that doesn't
(21:07):
cause any shame. It just is almost like a redirection
of the behavior.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
And then is there any age This is a hard
one to answer, but talking about public place and private place,
we were at the park on the weekend and Marley
was like, I need to eat and there was no
toilets anywhere, and I was like, let's just do a
bushwee And she was like, but people are going to
see me if she's communicating to me in that way,
(21:31):
do I have to acknowledge that or do you think
it's best to acknowledge that to not then break the boundaries?
But being like no, it's okay, I'll like, you know,
we're just going to be in public.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Yeah, yeah, real tricky one. Funny my daughter loves the bushway,
she'd like should ask for that, So yeah, yeah, I
think yeah, tricky to answer because I think every child
and family is different. You might, in that situation say,
if I was able to make a barrier to make
sure nobody saw, would you feel more comfortable then so
(22:04):
you could maybe give an option. Otherwise you need to
hold on and then we'll have to like find somewhere.
But I think try and explore that option in a
way that makes them feel safe. And if that's not
a possibility, then youah probably go into the bathroom and
you might be able to acknowledge it, like, yeah, actually
people might see you and that might be uncomfortable. Can
(22:25):
I make a way for this to be more comfortable
for you?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Victoria? You are a wealth of knowledge. It's been so
great and we could keep asking questions, but we know
your time is limited. But we want to say thank
you so much, thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Well, you're so welcome. Yeah, thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
And again, like, being able to speak to dads is
such a privilege and I hope that this also shares
out to your audience being dads as well. It means
a lot and I think as parents, we can make
a lot of change in the space.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
For our children.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Leaden, ask question for or you fire away. We go Okay,
I don't know if you've ever been asked this question before,
but I'm just gonna come out. I'm going to say
it honestly. Okay, how often do you worm your kids?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Never? What?
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Rattled were? Okay, go on, I just had a flashback
to what being wormed by whom my mom? How sorry?
I was a small child and I had worms because
I used to eat a lot of dirt.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Oh my god, Hang on a second. We're just in
the backyard. Just go out for a little snack or.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yeah, all right, and I remember because there's suppository cream suppository.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah yeah, So you'd have to apply that.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
You'd have to.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Apply that, and we all know how that happens. How
often do you did you get worms?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
That's a question?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Should we call her.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Screening?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
The call?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Do you remember how often I would have to be dewormed? Well,
a couple of months, every couple of months. Why would
do it?
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Fuck? Thank you?
Speaker 1 (24:31):
How did you do it?
Speaker 6 (24:32):
Was the tablet we used to have.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
To get a talk to the middle of the night
and have a look at your butt crack when I
was asleep.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, because the worms came out when you were relaxed.
Oh wow, you remember what age did the worms?
Speaker 6 (24:49):
Don't answer that. Once he stopped eating dirt, so like seven. Yeah,
you from the worms to the nets.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
You know, I did have a lot of hair.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Sis had a lot of hair as well.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
For some reason, it's were bad on the Norman beaches.
You had a lot of hair too.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Trying to shift the blame on the mum.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
It was you all right, well, thank you, bye bye.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
They have it, be honest, right now, fancy bit of
dirt a little, They wouldn't mind.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Damn dirt.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
We've got a lot of worms out there. It's only
lunch time anyway. Your question, I saw a doctor. You
saw a doctor, a doctor in passing like you know
at the markets.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Oh, you just ran in just talking.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And then they brought the topic of worming and he said,
howf of do you worm your kids? And I said
never never done it either, and he said, well you
should actually be doing it every six months. Yeah, from
when that's good? That's good question. I don't have the
answer to that. But apparently when your kids let's say
(26:08):
from the age of three, and again, no, I'm no expert. No, okay,
I'm not trained medically, you're not. And I want to
say three, but just I think every six months. So
I then took that information. I've implemented the information. It
gave us all worming tablets, so you've all been wormed.
(26:31):
I could use it meal of dirt. Last night, April's like,
what the hell's in the backyard. Someone's digging things up
and You're like, oh, I don't know what it is. No,
it's genius. With the technology, the advancements in medicine, it's phenomenal.
You know what we're doing now, we're disguising medicine and chocolate.
(26:57):
Oh really? Yeah, yeah I was. I was Trickingla into
thinking that she was having a treat.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Oh, it's like the Vita gummies, but like, yeah, as
my kids to call it, think it's a Lolli suckers.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
I was like, give it, give it to me, Lola,
and she's like, fuck off. Oh, she couldn't get another chocolate.
So I've tricked Lola into having chocolate. Little does she know.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
She's been de worms. Yeah, did they have? Do you
know if they'd ever, you wouldn't have known if they
ever had worms, because they probably just haven't had them.
Speaker 6 (27:27):
You know.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
And I asked my mom. I asked the same question
of you know, like how often did we get dewormed?
And she was like, never did it not once? Yeah,
we went a wormed family. He always didn't get the
taste of dirt. But I also think that I may
have had worms for your butty chi. Yeah, and I
was always hungry, but you probably did, did you? We
(27:48):
always hungry and never put on weight. Yes, Oh, you
had worms, I know. I was like, Mum, that's like
you missed the mark there.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Like apparently worms can also come through the balls of
your feet. What Yeah, because my dad had worms not
that long ago, because he was in They were in Indonesia,
and my dad's a classic that generation walks around barefoot
in he went through his feet. He used to walk
to the paddock there to get to the surf and
it would be there'd be cowship and all sorts of Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Well, I just so happened to have a few left over?
Can we can I try one? I thought you'd never ask,
just voluntarily. Now I had four tablets and I feel
great if I get sick, You're not going to get sick?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Is there worms in this? And you're like, so I
can have both of these.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I'm not going to infect. Yeah it's good right, Yeah, tasty,
it's to be Caribe carib Yeah, but I just taste
is lovely.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Right, I'm going to give it out of five on
chocolate scale. I'm going to say it's better than Darry Milk.
Just kids deserve and those worms gone, They're all gone.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
How has the cartoon worm in the front.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
That looks so happy one of them? Okay, okay, I.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Have no idea what I've just given you, By the way, a.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Chocolate square for threadworm, round worm and hookworm all worms.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yes, as our producers also wipe them out.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
As a team, we need to do worm We're in
this together, guys. That's good gear. It tastes very lovely, delicious.
I might have to get the kids some deworming. I look, honestly,
April may have de wormed the kids. I don't know
if she did or do that. She might have all
of us and we've all fallen for that trick, and
she was just like, this will get them.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
But mate, that's lovely.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
One to day.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
I know, right, one a day keeps the worms away. Lovely,
that's good gear. How are you they worms aside?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Now? I know we did. Last week we had I
revealed my present to you for you, which was a
tattoo of your name.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
People loved it.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
People do love it.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
But Jess and I have got you something I know
to hate to carry it on and you don't. Basically,
now they.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Give you some context of the gift.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yes, we'll cast your eyes back to the.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
End of last year when you asked Santa for something
very specific and the boy inside you didn't get it. Well,
Jess and I have decided to be your Santa. Okay, okay,
I'm going to go get it. That's not on my person.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
It's a time that it was on Jess's. But there
you go, Happy birthday. What your big kid. That's lovely,
isn't it.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
That's sick because I remember you told me and I
was like, yeah, that's a good gift and hoping you'd
get it and you didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Is there a good brand? Yeah, I went to a
proper skate shop. Well soon do you reckon? It's going
to be until I break a.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Bone twenty four hours. Thank you?
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Jess, thank you ask because I asked Laura again for
a skateboard. Didn't get it, and I didn't get it,
and I thought, maybe it's a sign that I just
shouldn't get one.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
The little boy inside you wanted a skateboard, and I
provided you and just provided you with a skateboard. I
think you deserve it. This is sick.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Don't hurt yourself. The kids need the kids need it.
Thank you, and full disclosure. If you do die, I'm
not helping out. I've got my own kids to worry about.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Bracket.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
That is epic. Thank you, thank you. I don't deserve you,
and both of you.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
There we go. So that's that's how I am. I'm well.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
So is that the birthday finished? The birthday over?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I think the birthday is done for now?
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, okay, someone else's birthday soon, this guy, I know?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Hope?
Speaker 6 (31:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (31:44):
No, August?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, remember the day sixteen? Really good? No, the eleventh,
it's the eleventh, Matt. It's time to get something off
our chest, and I want to get something off my
chest really quick.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Because the listeners have spoken. This hurts.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
It hurts a lot because I thought, and April even
said to me she was like she saw the post
and this is how slack she's been. She's really behind
on episodes, and she's like, I just listened to that song.
It's horrible.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
And I was like, that's the chart. That's the whole point, right,
that's the whole point.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
It's horrible. But anyway, whatever.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Someone in Facebook group fucking hell, making us, making us
work harder than they just asked, what's the favorite song
out there? For the segments? Overwhelmingly tell me it's beautiful, beautiful.
It's a soothing hymn. And I thought, what said. I
thought we needed something a bit more grunge, and we
did it. You know. I listened back and I think
(32:48):
we should avoid rock.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
It sucks. It's very.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Very raspy, very very But at the time we were
like high fiving, like this is.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Great this footage.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
We put the vote out there and people were also like,
we want to hear samples before we commit to a vote,
and I was like, what doesn't work like that?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, this is not a production company, just a couple
of people laying around came out.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
So some of the options were, hey, you by our cast, Like, yeah, okay,
it good. Didn't you win? Scap Van, what the heck
is that you know the Scapman's song. No what, I'm
a scat man.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I think what we should do is make a song
worse than the one we've got.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
No what other options? So we've got so with the
one that won, we've got should Twain Twain? You said Twain?
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Should? Should? I Twain Twain?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
So I said Twain? Okay, man, I feel like a woman. Okay,
how would that go? No, I'm asking you are the composers.
We haven't actually record I was trying to pretend that
we recorded it.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh, all right, whatever, let's go here it is.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Anyway, we gotta pretend how good it was.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
That was great, full disclosure.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
We haven't recorded it. We record it, okay, so you
can have the old one. But now, God, moving on?
What I want to be previous? You say, what, man,
I feel like a parent.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I'm glad this is so funny.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Good. Good to giggle.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
It is good to giggle. Good?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Actually should it's good to giggle. I'm going to my
rant now, okay, great, do you kick us off? I'm
going to kick us off. We have a residual I
have a residual rant.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
So I had the issue where I didn't take the
rubbish out. Remember I forgot and then missed the truck.
And then people had all their suggestions off the back
of the episode last week a week before, a.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Lot of people asked you to burn down your house. Yeah,
actually I'd love to do. That would have been awkward
if you did it, it would have been.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
And then I got a lot of suggestions being like,
call the council whatever, make up something, and I was like,
this is my burden to deal with.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
So I snuck around. Someone said call up the council
and pretend like they forgot you. Yeah, well that's just
I'm throwing the poll of driver.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Under the bus. Then yeah, that's skeet him. And I
was like, oh no, I'll just creatively put it into
the neighbor's bits. And that was the solution. But got
me thinking about how small, and this is the rant,
how fucking small that red bin is for a household,
Like you get a request a bigger one, Yeah, I know,
(36:11):
I know WHOA. I got a friend who works in
rubbish shout out to my bins and I was like, hey, dude,
surely you've got a spare red bin. And he's like,
they won't pick it up. He's like, you need to Actually,
it's like, oh, they know, they know, they have a
list of have a list of bins. Yeah, because if you.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Like street House number forty seven, well that's a bigger bin.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Yeah, you can't go out like I think it's part
of your rates depending on you have like an enormous
That's what I need.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
My kids they go through so much. I don't know
how they do it. But my rant is the bin
from day one.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
If it's a house and that bins that it's too small,
it's too small, one.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
More times too small small. You know what happened to me?
Two things on the bin segment, just really quickly segment.
One person message I think they're from Ballarat, maybe part
of the world, and they said their bins get collected
every two weeks.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I saw that right, So I was like, just wait
till X fortnite. Can you imagine that I'd live in
a dump?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Imagine imagine that with a newborn child.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Far out.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
And also to add to that, so I collected our
bins last week and I was like, far out, I
couldn't find my bin. I was like, all the bins
have been picked up. And then there was one there
that was. I was like, it's not my red bin,
it's a different number. And I was like, clearly someone's
taken it, and I was pissed off. I was like,
(37:44):
so I took your bin, but I've never once washed
out my bin. Right. The thing is, it's got like
dog shit, like some pancaked onto the bottom of the
inside of the bin. The bin that was left Christine,
I've upgraded. When accidental upgrade, it was great, except now
bin's got collected. Today, my bin's back.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
They've realized, Yeah, do we know who it is. Yeah,
I got the number of being Gate. Let's call them.
I'd say, what say, hey, you took my clean bin,
and you just see what they say. But it has
it has the house. It'd be funny whatever next time.
Just quickly on my rant that I did.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
I thought I thought I was doing a rant that
would be reciprocated by people online. Which one was that well?
I made the mistake though. The safe community, the podcast,
the judgmental community, social media, Okay, school Holidays. I was
having a rant about the groups of teenage boys that
(38:47):
are going around the neighborhood with no respect for anyone
except for themselves. No helmets, cutting off traffic, almost causing
accidents left, right and center.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Easy boomer.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
That's what people said, like did you turn twenty? Did
you turn thirty eight or eighty? On the weekend?
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Totally yeah, so okay you.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
People were like, people are really having to go with me.
I leave those boys alive. Were like, the teenage boys,
what do you want them to do? Just stay inside
all day? And I was like, yeah, yeah, exactly, get
off the road.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
You know when they're like when you try to get
rid of something, someone's like, don't get rid of them.
They keep away the you know what I mean? Like
for example, it's like, don't get rid.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Of the snakes. They keep away the rat Well, what
are the teenage boys keeping away?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I don't know where they keep it away.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
And I just want to say I think teenage boys
are great. I love that they're out there and joining
the school holidays. But it's just when they're like weaving
in and out of traffic and they're doing wheelies when there,
when they're loitering, they're loitering, do you know what?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
And look, this is kind of sort of spawn on
the end of the days.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, I love spawn. I know you having a third kid,
you love spawn anyway, And it was the last day
of school term and I stupidly went to the shops
right on school finish.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
There's a high school across the road. I tell you
right now that time. It's like a prison yard. These kids,
they're vapor. Yeah, how old are we?
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Immediately give us a city? They're smoking? Guy, I used
to smoke a pack of day Yeah, the different times
I would changed. Man.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Back in my day, we used to smoke winning rends
at the shopping Now they're vapor in the food court.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
But they're just they're up to no good anyway. I
just want to say that, like when you have a rant,
don't share it on social media because they'll judge her.
Here will embrace you regardless of the rant, regardless who's
wrong or right.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Let's get on to a lesson ramp.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
This is from Brook and Her rant is when you're
at an appointment with your baby and they are in
the pram with the swaddle covering them because they are
due for their nap. But the professional U were seeing
takes it upon themselves to remove the battle and start
talking to your baby. Why it's not your child.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
The doctor's appointment before the child. Good point, we.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Need more context. I get if I'm assuming it's your
point for the mum. Okay, cool, all right with you
the doctor, and like, let's just give a nod to
the doctors the great work in this country, not real doctors.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
But where is she rural? Yeah that's something a rural
doctor would.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's rural behavior. Yeah that is from
Darwin or somewhere somewhere specific.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Look, yeah, look, leave the kids, let the kids sleep right,
thank you, and attend to the real patient, which is
the mum. So if you're listening in your doctor, hands off, buddy.
All right, next tie. This one's from Charlotte. Oh this
is wow. The price of baby chinos. It's literally left
(41:58):
over steamed milk.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
How much is a baby chair? Not to sound like
I'm not and I hate to steal the words from
hamichnanity but not touch with the common man, but what's
a baby China's?
Speaker 5 (42:09):
What?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Dollar forty?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
I don't know. I don't even know do they charge?
I'm just paying? Why's my coffee cost eleven dollars? Well,
you get a marshmallow. Marshmallow is worth something? Well not really,
we got the cup. You're paying for merchandise. It's probably recycled,
you still got to.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Pay for it. I mean maybe, I think I think
there should be like a minimum spend. If you're spending
ten dollars, you get a free baby chino.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Hear me out? Go on, we should start a campaign
that all baby chinos should be free.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Okay, small businesses are gonna hate this. No, because with
free subsidized by the government, who's paying? No, free with
any a large coffee.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
So in other words, if I'm a parent and I'm like,
I'll buy a regular coffee, They're like, do you know
if you get a large coffee a free babycino for
young fucking Timmy over there?
Speaker 1 (43:03):
He's good, he's good, very good, Anita, I think that's
a good idea. I agree, But we've got we've got
rants to get to.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
We can get around a cafe and be like, hey,
your baby Gino's free? Why not?
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Like a current affair style. I hate to cut you off, sorry,
but this one is having fun, Anita. Sorry, come on
you finished? Yeah, she says. School holidays day one and
I'm already being driven mad by my kids.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
We had day one yesterday and I had to take
the kids to work with me. I don't really have
a job, but I had to take them to me
to with me to do work. Yeah, I'm with a
one hundred percent how why what? Anyway?
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Fair rant, It's annoying, That's what it is. I've got
one from Hannah starting a conversation telling me I looked, Oh.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
My god, like that for into.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
The category of what not decayed? Our parents like, you
look tired? So anyway, would you like a baby?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Tino?
Speaker 2 (44:04):
It's going to cast you.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
A last one here, it's from Dannyelle. When I pick
up my kids from Nan and Pop and she smells
like their perfume colone, Oh, mothballs, O.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Man, oh h so oscar and that get home and
they're like, can they give you a b cuddle? And
I smell their breath and it smells like Cabri chocolate.
I'm like, they've sugar, but yeah, if they come home,
they smell like your NaN's perfumela. Oh you're wearing too
much perfume anyway.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
And see that all those rants warm embrace from us?
We love that? Who else do we love Aldi for
bringing this segment today?
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Just low prices every day, Aldi, good different matters that
time of the week where we take questions from the listeners.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
I don't know if you know how that works. I
don't refresh my memory.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
They can send us a d M.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
They can send us an EMA. What that's great? Can
I get through it all? Sorry? Sorry?
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Also on the Facebook group, they ask us questions and
we're here to serve.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
So we have some questions answers. Serve on a hot
plate answers. Wimbledon's on?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Okay, okay, I go on for you? Yes, and it
is around propaganda. What sort of parenting propaganda are you
not falling for? Okay? Well one go okay, how many
do you want to do?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
How many this is we've got? I've got three?
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Here, I got three?
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Okay, this one is the most important. I think partly
because she earns more money than me, but mam mama
should focus on parenting instead of their career.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
We're not having that, not falling for that propaganda. I'll
give you one. Cherish every moment. What about when you
get shot on I'm not cherished in that moment? I
think like that is such like a you should really
cherish every moment like that sort of backhanded Okay, what
(46:23):
else you got do.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
You know who says that people who only parent their
kids like on the weekends, People who aren't really in
the trenches like some of us. But it's the people
whenever I be like, it goes so fast, you have
to enjoy it, it's someone who only really parents like
they're working through a leg and then they're on the weekends,
(46:46):
And it's like, if that works for you, sure, what
if they need to work to survive, survive, I'm stop
me from working, but you're not really getting a taste
of what true parenting is.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Work early one day and come home for the bathroutine.
Fuck now, cherish that. I feel like it's like just
continually yelling the same sentence every.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Night, generle parenting. One of the time, Oh that's garbage.
How do you get by with that? They don't listen.
No one's that nice. Obviously, there are times where you
can gentle parent. Whenever a gentle parent, and it works,
I'm like, good on you. But I also think the
kids look at me like, what's going on with this guy?
I know they're like, shut up, just tell me.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
What to do, trying to nurse me into what to do,
like yeah, not man, baby smell amazing.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
No, I'm not falling for that, but they do. They don't.
Speaker 2 (47:44):
They're musky, I like dusty.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
I like the obviously when they've like done a massive pooh,
I like I like the foot jam sour milk.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
It's cute each their own, but that's I'm not falling
for that properly. Sorry, and thankfully I don't have to
because I'm not having any more kids. If you used
to hold your new kid, this is one that I'm
trying to instill into Laura. Okay, we're still working on it.
But the house shouldn't be cleaned when guests the right,
So you think you should be dirty? Yeah, I think
(48:17):
there's got to be a middle ground.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Matthew, I think presentable. If you got kids, it's fine.
I think it's fine to.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
A degree, but you're not going to walk in and
there's fucking shit over the floor.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Well, obviously there's a line somewhere that's saying there has
to be a middle ground. But the washing can be
on the table, that's fair, thank you, not on the
floor though. Wow, I didn't expect this segment to go
this way. Okay, anyway, whatever, my last one, whatever me,
My last one is sibling love is beautiful. It's not annoying.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
It's so annoying. Like I wish my kids just flat
out out of each other because they're like play nice
for one say, and then all of a sudden there's like.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Beat down city. My kids are really into hitting each other,
like full upper cutting, like punch on, that's a good,
right hook, but stop that.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
And Oscar was like, like, kid his sister a little bit.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
It's never anything.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
It's more like annoying to annoy. And then Oscar like
the other day, was like Mace's biting me. And I
was like, come here, Oscar. I'm like, was she biting
it or not? He was like I thought she was
going to.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
I was like, bro, it doesn't work like it doesn't
work like that, mate, So that's propaganda. I'm not falling for.
Well said, I asked just one more question, if this
one's from Kirsty, she would love to know what's the
most feral thing your kid has ever done in public?
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Oh it's a long list. Well, let's cast our memories
back to a story I did tell on this podcast
early on in this in its inception, I.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Think it was like, wow, I have a way with words.
It was. It must have been within the first like
ten twenty epps. Yeah, so if you want to go
back and listen to that and represent that'd be great things.
I told a story where I take one kid shopping
because it's too hard with both to do the big shop.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
And I got a milkshake for Oscar and I to share,
mainly for me and for Oscar to have a little
bit flavor. It was honeycomb. Honeycomb, Yeah, I love that lava.
And we were in the shops. I had given it
to him to have a set and I was like,
turn to get what we needed it and I took
(50:33):
a little bit longer, not really noticing, and I turned
around and Oscar had.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
Finished the milkshake. Disappointing for you. Disappointing, Yeah, that's not
the feral part. The feral part is he started to shiver,
and I was.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Like, you cold.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
He went into shock.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Literally, we're not in the darea, we're not in the
cold section. We're like, he's got hypothermia. We're mid shops
and he's like because the milkshake was so.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
Cold, he's like shivering and he's in the trolley. See
a leader of ice cream literally he's more ice cream
than person. At the moment, it was like, I was like,
what's wrong. I realized body temper is just battling.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
It was struggling to survive. Anyway, I've like taken the
lid off, thankfully, I've taken the lit off to look
in and he's really cleared that out.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
I'm no wonder.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
He's shivering and I.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Was like, are you okay?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
And he was like a brave bade yeah, and then
he's gone pale. I'm like, there's a vomit coming here, and.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
He's instincts kicked. Yeah, he projectile vomited.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
I've caught every drop in back into the cup, okay,
and he's like caught it all, like the best perfect
catch ever. And it was still cold when.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
It came back out.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
You know when like you were younger and you did
a beer bong and you spewed it back up and
it was still cold. That's what it was. Anyway, got
much better after that, but people in that aisle, what
am I watching here?
Speaker 1 (52:04):
Nice to have a little flashback into what Ash's youth
was like, But yeah, that was disgusting. That actually could
that could work for our next segment? What's the next segment,
Parenting Wins.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Oh yeah, that is a win.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
Rub that in, big guy. Yeah, we love wins that
you can rub in. You know what else you can
rub in? Parenting wins would not be possible without support
from Vicks Vapor.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
Rub now available in new lavendercent Okay, first, this one's
from Bronti. Getting in the car after six pm, risky
kids fall asleep, but then you're able to carry them
to bed without waking.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Hallelujah. That's not a parenting win, that's a parenting miracle.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
That is outstanding stuff. Rub in.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
Rub that right in. Ooh, Sarah from a teacher. We
don't often get submissions from a teacher, but we love them.
And she says, I got to pee and eat my
lunch without interruptions from the kids.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
Very good.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
Also, what's the deal with that staff room?
Speaker 2 (53:02):
What's going on in there? There's always off limits? You
know how that one teacher come against me?
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Do you want because they just want to have their lunch,
They're all like, what's going on there? Just acts a
little bit more like it's you'd.
Speaker 2 (53:14):
Be welcome and the kids won't care what's in there?
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Like yeah, I know, it's like what are you guys
up to What are you hiding?
Speaker 2 (53:20):
What are you hiding in? There?
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Got like hot tubs something right.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
This one's from Simone. I've convinced my kids that keys
is actually cake.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Did not see that coming, genius when rub it in?
Next one, I love. I love lying to kids and
making them, making them think that's something healthy. Is a treat, diud.
You just like the satisfaction when you get away with it. Anyway.
This is from Matthew, great name. By the way, our
(53:54):
youngest wake up at five am instead of three am.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Oh hell, good, ole brad do it's so good when
they sleep in? Is that a sleep in? No?
Speaker 1 (54:03):
But so good when they actually sleep in. You'll take it.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I'll take it. I'll take that extra two hours, okay.
I go on from Amanda turning everything into a race
because her competitive nature has well and truly clicked in.
Race to the car, race upstairs and rush your teeth,
race to get undressed the shower.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
I let her win every time. That's always a good
one for kids. For girls, I think it kicks in
later Oh yeah yeah, and so as a girl. Dad,
when you could start doing like competitive races for any
little crappy activity.
Speaker 2 (54:40):
I've been doing it for years, all right, legend, because
it's a boy. You're a great parents.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
Tory. I have a three and a four year old
and deciding what to make them for breakfast is always
a disaster. So I've created laminated pictures of breakfast options
and they walk and just point to which one they want. Genius.
That's a hack.
Speaker 2 (55:03):
If anything, that's a hall So it must be nice
with the kids have all these choices, just like pointing
at the.
Speaker 1 (55:11):
Like purage this daddy.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
I love the Parrish.
Speaker 1 (55:15):
We're a porridge family. Do you see that meme?
Speaker 2 (55:18):
It was like I get it now with the like
little red riding hood or whatever it was, and it
was like mum and Mum's porridge is too cold, Dad's
is too hot, but the kids is just right. Think
about that on a deeper level, all.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
Right, Ash, That is parenting wins for this week, which
I love it when parents rub it in, I'm all
for it. And it is brought to you by vix
Vapor rub. For the ultimate parenting hack this winter, try
vix vapor Up, now available in new lavendercent It provides
coffin cold relief for a peaceful sleep because when they sleep, Ah,
you sleep.
Speaker 2 (55:54):
Shop the vix lavender range in store or online at
chemist Warehouse. Always read the label and follow direct.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Actions for use. Matthew, have some terrible news.
Speaker 2 (56:02):
That's dreadful.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
That's all we have time for.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
Oh god, it's been a long while.
Speaker 1 (56:06):
It's disappointing, isn't it. It has been I'm hungry. I'm
very hungry. Okay, I apologize hate. I hate when I
yell at you. I need a gentle friendship you.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 1 (56:18):
If you enjoyed this episode, we would absolutely love it.
I did get a very nice message in the Instagram
page for Two Dads and it was great. But I
was like copy and pastes sent Apple podcast as a review,
but I didn't. I did, but but we would appreciate.
Speaker 2 (56:35):
I'll also put a nod to a couple of nice
messages that I received personally, just about some of the
more vulnerable episodes that we have done, and people putting
their mental health first.
Speaker 1 (56:44):
It's great, but what they should put first is a
subscribe to the point, I'm joking. I'm joking, joke. If
you do subscribe, that would be great and follow us
on social media.
Speaker 2 (56:57):
Two Doting Dads on Instagram, Facebook, and also TikTok Let's
get some lunch okayanodbye bye, good bye.
Speaker 1 (57:12):
If you enjoyed this episode like a burp, hang on
a second, excuse me, nasty, I'm Jess, I'm so sorry.
We're all we're very gassy today. Speak for yourself. Two.
Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (57:34):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
people's today
Hey, I can't help but notice that one of us
had a bit of a sore tummy before.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Oh bro, what the heck was that?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Did you hear me? Jess and I was like, let's
play some music. I knew it was like Jess and
I were like, oh, how you been pretty good for me? Oh? Fuck?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You feel better? I came downstairs and there's music playing.
I was so suspicious. I was very suspicious of you, guys.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I was like, you tummy hasn't made a noise to him?
Be like, put some David Gray on to round out
your guts.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Guys, I'm really sorry. Okay, but you feel better. I
would like to say yes, but the answer is no.
Now I feel embarrassed, but whatever.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay
and I'm farty MG pants No, I'm mad. And this
is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad, and we never give advice. We don't,
but every now and then we will reach out to
those people who have far more wisdom than the two
(01:28):
of us, which is majority of people. Let's speak completely honest. Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
But we had a message in the Facebook group recently
which made a request for a specific guest. They were like, Hey,
we know you guys aren't really experts. This is Celeste.
Shout out to celestiout if she's listening. Now, before we
go any further, I do just want to make a
(01:48):
quick note and.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Say, Matt, this episode does contain some discussions of child
sexual abuse, which could be distressing for some people.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
If you or someone you know may be impacted by
this content, please seek help. We will put some details
of those organizations that you can reach out to in
the show notes. Now I will flag that this chat
that we're about to have it's only about fifteen minutes.
It's not the whole episode, So if you did want
to skip this part, I'd skip about fifteen minutes and
then we'll get into our normal episode. So going back
(02:17):
to Celeste, she did a post in the Facebook group.
It was off the back of a twenty six year
old childcare worker, Joshua Dale Brown, who's been charged of
sexual abuse of children whilst in daycare. Absolutely horrific and
so Letse wanted to know as parents, what information can
we have to be more mindful of the topic, more proactive.
(02:38):
Now it is confronting and it's really easy to avoid
the topic altogether totally. But we thought it was a
great suggestion from Celeste, so we thought we will reach
out to an expert, so we reached out to Victoria.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
She runs the Safe Kids Project, which is a handle
on Instagram. She's a registered psychologist based in New Zealand
who specializes working with children and provides sexual abuse and
sexual harm prevent therapy.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Victoria, I do have to say a very big thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
You are so welcome. I was so delighted to be
asked to come on. I'm so passionate about prevention work,
so any opportunity to speak about this and shear my mission,
I'm here.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I feel like the conversations we're about to have, I
feel like they should be prioritized as much as like
a first aid course for parents. But for whatever reason,
I think it's one of these things that it's such
a tricky subject that it's easy for parents to completely
avoid it. So I know that so many people are
going to benefit from this chat. Yeah, to start off,
(03:40):
at what age do you start having conversations with your
children about consent and body autonomy?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Such a great question, and I do believe that a
lot of parents try and put the hit in the
sand and not talk about it purely. Like there's a
lot of reasons, but I do believe one of the
main reasons is they're growing up. We never had these conversations.
And it's not that it was the fault of our parents,
but a lot of the time they didn't know how
to share this education with us. So it is a
(04:07):
really new way of working, and it's you're right, it's
like just as important as first aid. I think it's
just as important as we teach our children to swim
or cross the road. Teaching them about their body is
so so important and how to keep it safe. So
my daughter is four and my son is coming up too,
and I've been teaching them about body safety education since
they were born, but more specifically once they could sort
(04:30):
of comprehend what I spoke about and what I talked about.
So for my daughter, from two, she was able to
label her body correctly. She was able to let me
know if she wanted physical content like a huggle or not.
She was able to say no to me and know
that it will be respected. So I would say anywhere
from like one and a half to two is a
really good age to actually start introducing to your child
(04:52):
that their body belongs to them and they get to
make choices that feel it.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
In terms of language, and like, sorry, this is a
really dumb question, but you know, I know that people
are so particular about certain words are good to use
and some are bad to use. Do you say what
they are in terms of vagina penis or do you
have to give other words to kids at that age?
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Yes, so at that age I recommend using anatomically correct labels,
which are what our body is called. So I often
say to pearents, if you call a knee a knee,
and a nose and nose, why do you call a
volver a fannie or a.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Penis a willie?
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Like it instantly tells your child that that's not a
part of your body you're allowed to talk about, or
that's not something we're comfortable talking about because we instantly
give it a nickname. And so anatomically correct labels for
body parts is like number one when it comes to
body safety education because it creates a really open dialogue
with your child for them to know that those parts
(05:51):
of their body are normal, and if there were any concerns, they've.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Got the language to talk to you about it.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
And from a prevention standpoint, has been some research done
with convicted sexual offenders towards children, and they have said
one of the biggest deterrence to harming a child is
if they have the correct anatomical language for their body,
because it instantly says to them that child's having conversations
at home, or that child has parents that are willing
(06:18):
to talk about their body. That's not somebody I'm going
to target. So it's really really like powerful from a
prevention standpoint, And on the other side of something does
happen to your child, it's really important that they have
the correct language to be able to tell you about it.
I've worked with in multiple cases where children haven't had
the correct terms, and what that means is from a
(06:40):
legal standpoint, it can actually be really difficult to move
things along the legal system. So we want to give
children the language about their body to normalize it and
reduce any shame or stigma. And also that really helps
with prevention.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
In terms of consent, it's a tricky one because like
this morning, for example, I was trying to brush my
daughter's hair, Marley's six, Lola's four, and what they'll say
when they don't want to have their hair brushed is
my body, my choice. No, And then obviously I want
to acknowledge that, but at the same time I need
(07:15):
to brush their hair. It's a bit of a non negotiable.
So how do you explain when and is inappropriate to
have those boundaries crossed?
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Amazing, it's so nice to hear those conversations coming from
young children that they know their body belongs to them.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
That's amazing.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
So I have some roles around body autonomy and that
my child. My children get to make choices for their
body all of the time, except in three situations. The
first is health, second is hygiene, and the third is safety.
So in those situations it is my role as a
parent to put a limit in and say, actually, this
is what's happening. So that sounds like the case for
hair brushing. And I feel that one to my poor
(07:52):
my daughter, who's full list here is like these huge
ringlets and she goes to a forest kindy, and so
she goes to kindy and she just comes from.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Leaves and sticks in late back.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
So I really I feel this because we have a
role in our house that we have to have her
hair up for KINDI. So the way that I recommend
talking to your child when you get to a body
autonomy limit is to be really clear. And the first
thing is telling them what you're doing. So I'm brushing
your hair right now, while you're doing it. You need
to do it otherwise it's going to get into a
really big tangle and we might have to cut your hair.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Really sure, I'm not sure?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Give black examples, and then you ask for some clarification.
So you might be like, do you have any questions?
See if they want to ask, and then what I
recommend doing. So being really clear is the first part
on what you're doing, and then the second part is
provide opportunities for control. So in those situations where they
don't have a choice or they don't have control over
what's happening to their body, allow them opportunities like what
(08:45):
color hair brush do you want to use? Do you
want to brush your hair first and then dad will
do it second, Like provide little moments and there is
there a favorite toy you want to hold it? Or
is there something that you can be doing while I
do your hair? So moments where they feel in control
of a situation that actually they don't get a choice over.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
For me, at home, we might playfully smack mum on
the bottom or you know, the kids they think it's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
But is that something that's inappropriate or.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
I wouldn't say it's inappropriate.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
I think it's really important for children to see healthy
relationships between parents. But maybe what you could do in
there is every now and again weaven some modeling of consent,
like to your wife or partner, Hey, like I really
want to give you a little snack on the bum?
Is that okay with you? You know, like make it
like a little bit playful so the children can see
that aspect of consent, or maybe you do it and
(09:35):
then you say, hey, is this something that you find
fun or is this like enjoyable so that the children
are seeing that as well. But I think if it's
really lighthearted and it brings joy, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
One thing that I've noticed is like, you know that
game of like don't he's going to smoke in the
bottom and I'll chase the kids around. And then I've
seen Marley interact with her cousins and then they will
play that same game with other cousins. Obviously Marley from
her perspective, it's completely harmless. Then I'm thinking in my
head like, oh my gosh, am I am I putting
these games in place which are going to be like
(10:09):
inappropriate with other kids? Should I be mindful of that?
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
I feel like there's a real fine line, right, Like
we don't want to lose the fun of childhood, but
we do want to just make sure that our children
are respecting body autonomy of others. So you could say,
before you play that game of like Dad's gonna do
you say, pet your barm or chase you or whatever
it might be, you might say, do you want to
play this game? And let me know if you want
to stop at any time, because you're just then modeling
(10:36):
to them what consent looks like that actually, you can
be playing something can be really really fun, but you
can also say stop when it feels right for you.
And that same question, like you might be chasing them
around the house and you might say.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Mary, are you still having fun right now?
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Like it's just a little chicken that gets her to
chicken with her body and then knows that there's a
safe place to communicate it and then when it goes
into playing it with your cousins with her cousins, you
might just say, oh, remember to ask for you to
somebody's body, like is this again? They actually want to play, Like,
just check in first. It doesn't have to be like
sit down, like really serious. Like when I'm teaching young children,
my children can sent I do it all through modeling.
(11:11):
I never explain to them necessarily like don't touch other
people's bodies. It's actually just through my interactions every day
with them that they learn what consent looks like.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, we have a few listeners.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Reach out about some tools of parents that you can
share with parents who can help their kids speak up
confidently when boundaries are crossed.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
So I believe that this comes from lots of modeling
at home. Like I just said that children need to
see us as parents advocate for their boundaries as well
as us putting in boundaries for ourselves. So how this
might look like If a family member was to come
around to my house, I would say to my daughter, Hey, darling,
remember your nanny's coming over this afternoon. Remember you get
(11:52):
to choose how you say hello, And then once my
mum arrives, I would say, oh, nanny's here, would you
like to give her a hug, a kiss, a wave.
In moment, I'm saying to my daughter, listen to your body,
you share what feels right. But I'm also putting in
a boundary with my mum to remind her of what
kind of interactions we have in our family and how
that looks. So that's modeling how to interact. And the
(12:15):
other one is sometimes I will tell my children when
they've crossed my personal space.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
So last night I was over it, like it was
just one.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Of those days, and my husband was on a night
shift and I was like, I'm done, and they were
all over me for story time, and so I was
just like, hey, mom needs some space right now. My
daughter kicked off and like told me how sad I'd
made her feel. And that's fine, that's all part of it.
But it's like, actually, as a parent, I need my
children to see me putting in boundaries for my body,
to give them the permission slip to put in a
(12:44):
boundary for their body. And so when we think about
teaching children to be confident to say no, we need
to really have these foundations of them seeing consent in practice, because.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
The more that they see it happening, the more.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Likely they can like draw on that experience and say, actually,
I can say no right now and it should be
all right. And another thing with that is if we
as parents or kidgivers really respect a child's no, they're
more likely to say it. So say you're playing like
a tickling game with the kids and they're like.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
No, and you actually stop.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
In that moment, you're teaching your child that they're no
matters and that you should listen. So the more we
can practice and give children opportunities to say no, to
see us as parents saying no, they're really good ways
to build confidence.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I always I guess, double guess how I parent when
I know that there's so many little harmless sayings that
people then spin it and say, actually, that's quite detrimental.
For example, no one likes to dip adobba, you know.
And I know that there's been times where you know, Maley,
for example, any minute little inconvenience from another kid, whether
(13:48):
one of her family members or her sister, she'll run
to me. And I've said before like come on, Malle,
no one makes to dip adoba. And then afterwards I'm like, oh,
my gosh, that's sending the wrong message, right, So how
do you how do you make sure that you're communicating
in a way that doesn't discourage them to stand up
when something has happened.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
Yeah, really good question.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
I know we catch ourselves and parenting moments all the time,
so I think that's only natural. Yeah, when it comes
to communication, I think that again, it's a really like
foundational thing that you keep building on when it comes
to sharing stuff that's important to a child. When we
as parents have capacity to try and listen, you know,
(14:33):
in those moments where she's come to you and shared
something like, oh gosh, that sounds really tough, how could
you do? Something like what could you do about that?
It almost is easier for us as parents to just
shut it down and say stop, stop telling, because that's
what feels right for us in that moment, particularly if
we're just regulated ourselves or we've had a really busy day.
But if we can hold space even for the little things,
(14:53):
that does really help them eventually, is something does happen,
they know, oh that's somebody I can go and speak to.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Feels really safe.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
But another role that we have in our house is
we have a no secrets policy. So absolutely zero secrets
are allowed in our house.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
This morning, I gave Lola a piece of pizza for
breakfast and I was like, don't tell mom, And then
I'm like.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Shit, yeah, so that would be like a bit what
we don't do in our house, and it happened before,
and like, we definitely catch ourselves purely because then we're
saying to the child that it's okay to keep some secret.
And when children are young, they're thinking is so black
and white, and so if you say, oh, that secret's
a good secret or a safe secret and this one's not,
(15:36):
like they don't understand. That's way too gray. And so
with our family, we just have no secrets full stop.
And again it's not like something I sit down and
talk to a four year old about, like allow it
to come up really naturally. She brought her brother a
truck and it was super, super noisy for his birthday.
She's like, oh, we'll keep this a secret, and I
was like, no, darling, this is a surprise. And so
(15:58):
then we talk about surprises like they're really cool. That's
something somebody will eventually find out about. But yeah, steering
away from secrets or keeping this information is really important
and it can be Yeah, something as simple as don't
say you have pizza for breakfast, or don't have an
ice cream, don't say that we got an ice cream
when we're out And yes, like from an open communication
(16:21):
point of view, really good, but also from a grooming perspective, secrets.
Keeping secrets is one of the steps in the grooming process,
and that's in order to establish trust with the child
and also with the family. And so often they might
start with something really small like, oh, don't tell them
we got an ice cream when we were out watching
whether or not the parent, whether or not the child
(16:43):
will tell the parent, and that kind of tells them, Okay,
we're beginning to build trust, and then they build on
that and build on that. So having no secrets yet
really important for communication and also another really important prevention tool.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
There was some horrible news to come out of Melbourne
just this past week, just to do with daycare. Is
there any signs that parents should look out for in
environments to assess their safety.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah. I feel like this one's a really hard, hard
topic and my heart really goes out to all of
those people that were affected in Melbourne because the children
were so young, it would have been really really hard
to sort of know that something was wrong, because at
that age they're really unlikely to have the vocabulary and
comprehension to be able to express that to parents. What
(17:31):
I do say, though, is that when your child goes
into an early childhood setting, you as a parent have
every right to ask questions and to become really curious.
I find often parents wort to stand back and don't
want to be like overprotective or overbearing or over the top.
But actually, what if we put our child's safety at
the center, we can feel a lot more comfortable to
(17:52):
have conversations. And so I suggest, and these are things
that I do with my children, Like what is your
child protection policy? So do you know if something happens,
what are the steps to follow? Do all your staff
members know the steps to follow? Another one, a big
one for me is supervision, So what are the ratios
for the children to teach her? And also in the center,
(18:14):
are there spaces where a child might not be seen,
they might be hidden, So like really mindful of who's
watching my children, becoming really mindful of the environment, so
changing or toileting, who is supporting the children through that?
Is that leaving one teacher, one adult alone with a child.
(18:34):
Is it in an open space? So I think it's
really hard to look out for certain signs at that
young age that.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Something's gone wrong.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
But I would be more trying to look at it
from Can we use what has happened to drive some change?
And I hope that happens with policy and legal levels
within the early childhood sector. But as parents, we are
allowed to ask the questions, and I would really encourage
your listeners to who ask them.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Is there any type of language that you can recommend
when speaking to your own kids if you think something
may have happened.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Yeah, So in that situation, I always say, become really
curious with your child and notice what happens within you.
Like if you've noticed maybe something different in their behavior,
maybe they're really isolated and withdrawn and worried all the
time and don't want to attend to their early childhood
center or for all of a sudden, then become really
(19:28):
curious with that. Don't go straight in with maybe what
you assume has happened. It's better to be curious. So
it might be I've noticed that at drop offs you're
really upset at the moment, what's going on there? Or
they might tell you something's happened and you might say,
can you tell me more about that? Or what happened next?
And you'll notice that in my languaging, I'm not saying, oh,
(19:49):
did this person do that? Or did you then do this?
Or did you feel this? No, it's really open, like
what happened next?
Speaker 5 (19:56):
What was what was going on around that time?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
So really keeping it as open as possible and being
really curious.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Where you can.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
So, I have a six year old boy and he's
at the age where he can't keep his hands off
his penis, and look, it's outside of the pans, inside
at home, whatever it might be. But I'm really worried
about shaming him for her. Is there any steps I
can take or anything I should be doing to make
sure that I don't? He's educated, he's educated.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Yeah, yeah, I'm so here for these questions. This is
so nice to be talking to two dads like this,
I said earlier. Often I'm speaking with mum, So I
love this, and how you don't want to cause shame
like amazing. So a child exploring their body, all parts
of their body, very very develop mentally normal.
Speaker 5 (20:44):
So what I would.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Say in this space is I encourage children to recognize
the difference between a private place and a public place.
So say he's touching his penis and it's in the
lounge room, you might say, hey, this is a public place.
You're more than welcome to touch your body, explore your body.
But that's something we do in a private place. Private
place is room or the bathroom. So give him the
context that that behavior is appropriate for and that doesn't
(21:07):
cause any shame. It just is almost like a redirection
of the behavior.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
And then is there any age This is a hard
one to answer, but talking about public place and private place,
we were at the park on the weekend and Marley
was like, I need to eat and there was no
toilets anywhere, and I was like, let's just do a
bushwee And she was like, but people are going to
see me if she's communicating to me in that way,
(21:31):
do I have to acknowledge that or do you think
it's best to acknowledge that to not then break the boundaries?
But being like no, it's okay, I'll like, you know,
we're just going to be in public.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Yeah, yeah, real tricky one. Funny my daughter loves the bushway,
she'd like should ask for that, So yeah, yeah, I
think yeah, tricky to answer because I think every child
and family is different. You might, in that situation say,
if I was able to make a barrier to make
sure nobody saw, would you feel more comfortable then so
(22:04):
you could maybe give an option. Otherwise you need to
hold on and then we'll have to like find somewhere.
But I think try and explore that option in a
way that makes them feel safe. And if that's not
a possibility, then youah probably go into the bathroom and
you might be able to acknowledge it, like, yeah, actually
people might see you and that might be uncomfortable. Can
(22:25):
I make a way for this to be more comfortable
for you?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Victoria? You are a wealth of knowledge. It's been so
great and we could keep asking questions, but we know
your time is limited. But we want to say thank
you so much, thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Well, you're so welcome. Yeah, thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
And again, like, being able to speak to dads is
such a privilege and I hope that this also shares
out to your audience being dads as well. It means
a lot and I think as parents, we can make
a lot of change in the space.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
For our children.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Leaden, ask question for or you fire away. We go Okay,
I don't know if you've ever been asked this question before,
but I'm just gonna come out. I'm going to say
it honestly. Okay, how often do you worm your kids?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Never? What?
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Rattled were? Okay, go on, I just had a flashback
to what being wormed by whom my mom? How sorry?
I was a small child and I had worms because
I used to eat a lot of dirt.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Oh my god, Hang on a second. We're just in
the backyard. Just go out for a little snack or.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yeah, all right, and I remember because there's suppository cream suppository.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah yeah, So you'd have to apply that.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
You'd have to.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Apply that, and we all know how that happens. How
often do you did you get worms?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
That's a question?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Should we call her.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Screening?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
The call?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Do you remember how often I would have to be dewormed? Well,
a couple of months, every couple of months. Why would
do it?
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Fuck? Thank you?
Speaker 1 (24:31):
How did you do it?
Speaker 6 (24:32):
Was the tablet we used to have.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
To get a talk to the middle of the night
and have a look at your butt crack when I
was asleep.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, because the worms came out when you were relaxed.
Oh wow, you remember what age did the worms?
Speaker 6 (24:49):
Don't answer that. Once he stopped eating dirt, so like seven. Yeah,
you from the worms to the nets.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
You know, I did have a lot of hair.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Sis had a lot of hair as well.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
For some reason, it's were bad on the Norman beaches.
You had a lot of hair too.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Trying to shift the blame on the mum.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
It was you all right, well, thank you, bye bye.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
They have it, be honest, right now, fancy bit of
dirt a little, They wouldn't mind.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Damn dirt.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
We've got a lot of worms out there. It's only
lunch time anyway. Your question, I saw a doctor. You
saw a doctor, a doctor in passing like you know
at the markets.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Oh, you just ran in just talking.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And then they brought the topic of worming and he said,
howf of do you worm your kids? And I said
never never done it either, and he said, well you
should actually be doing it every six months. Yeah, from
when that's good? That's good question. I don't have the
answer to that. But apparently when your kids let's say
(26:08):
from the age of three, and again, no, I'm no expert. No, okay,
I'm not trained medically, you're not. And I want to
say three, but just I think every six months. So
I then took that information. I've implemented the information. It
gave us all worming tablets, so you've all been wormed.
(26:31):
I could use it meal of dirt. Last night, April's like,
what the hell's in the backyard. Someone's digging things up
and You're like, oh, I don't know what it is. No,
it's genius. With the technology, the advancements in medicine, it's phenomenal.
You know what we're doing now, we're disguising medicine and chocolate.
(26:57):
Oh really? Yeah, yeah I was. I was Trickingla into
thinking that she was having a treat.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Oh, it's like the Vita gummies, but like, yeah, as
my kids to call it, think it's a Lolli suckers.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
I was like, give it, give it to me, Lola,
and she's like, fuck off. Oh, she couldn't get another chocolate.
So I've tricked Lola into having chocolate. Little does she know.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
She's been de worms. Yeah, did they have? Do you
know if they'd ever, you wouldn't have known if they
ever had worms, because they probably just haven't had them.
Speaker 6 (27:27):
You know.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
And I asked my mom. I asked the same question
of you know, like how often did we get dewormed?
And she was like, never did it not once? Yeah,
we went a wormed family. He always didn't get the
taste of dirt. But I also think that I may
have had worms for your butty chi. Yeah, and I
was always hungry, but you probably did, did you? We
(27:48):
always hungry and never put on weight. Yes, Oh, you
had worms, I know. I was like, Mum, that's like
you missed the mark there.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Like apparently worms can also come through the balls of
your feet. What Yeah, because my dad had worms not
that long ago, because he was in They were in Indonesia,
and my dad's a classic that generation walks around barefoot
in he went through his feet. He used to walk
to the paddock there to get to the surf and
it would be there'd be cowship and all sorts of Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Well, I just so happened to have a few left over?
Can we can I try one? I thought you'd never ask,
just voluntarily. Now I had four tablets and I feel
great if I get sick, You're not going to get sick?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Is there worms in this? And you're like, so I
can have both of these.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I'm not going to infect. Yeah it's good right, Yeah, tasty,
it's to be Caribe carib Yeah, but I just taste
is lovely.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Right, I'm going to give it out of five on
chocolate scale. I'm going to say it's better than Darry Milk.
Just kids deserve and those worms gone, They're all gone.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
How has the cartoon worm in the front.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
That looks so happy one of them? Okay, okay, I.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Have no idea what I've just given you, By the way, a.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Chocolate square for threadworm, round worm and hookworm all worms.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yes, as our producers also wipe them out.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
As a team, we need to do worm We're in
this together, guys. That's good gear. It tastes very lovely, delicious.
I might have to get the kids some deworming. I look, honestly,
April may have de wormed the kids. I don't know
if she did or do that. She might have all
of us and we've all fallen for that trick, and
she was just like, this will get them.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
But mate, that's lovely.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
One to day.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
I know, right, one a day keeps the worms away. Lovely,
that's good gear. How are you they worms aside?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Now? I know we did. Last week we had I
revealed my present to you for you, which was a
tattoo of your name.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
People loved it.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
People do love it.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
But Jess and I have got you something I know
to hate to carry it on and you don't. Basically,
now they.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Give you some context of the gift.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yes, we'll cast your eyes back to the.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
End of last year when you asked Santa for something
very specific and the boy inside you didn't get it. Well,
Jess and I have decided to be your Santa. Okay, okay,
I'm going to go get it. That's not on my person.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
It's a time that it was on Jess's. But there
you go, Happy birthday. What your big kid. That's lovely,
isn't it.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
That's sick because I remember you told me and I
was like, yeah, that's a good gift and hoping you'd
get it and you didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Is there a good brand? Yeah, I went to a
proper skate shop. Well soon do you reckon? It's going
to be until I break a.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Bone twenty four hours. Thank you?
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Jess, thank you ask because I asked Laura again for
a skateboard. Didn't get it, and I didn't get it,
and I thought, maybe it's a sign that I just
shouldn't get one.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
The little boy inside you wanted a skateboard, and I
provided you and just provided you with a skateboard. I
think you deserve it. This is sick.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Don't hurt yourself. The kids need the kids need it.
Thank you, and full disclosure. If you do die, I'm
not helping out. I've got my own kids to worry about.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Bracket.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
That is epic. Thank you, thank you. I don't deserve you,
and both of you.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
There we go. So that's that's how I am. I'm well.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
So is that the birthday finished? The birthday over?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I think the birthday is done for now?
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, okay, someone else's birthday soon, this guy, I know?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Hope?
Speaker 6 (31:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (31:44):
No, August?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, remember the day sixteen? Really good? No, the eleventh,
it's the eleventh, Matt. It's time to get something off
our chest, and I want to get something off my
chest really quick.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Because the listeners have spoken. This hurts.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
It hurts a lot because I thought, and April even
said to me she was like she saw the post
and this is how slack she's been. She's really behind
on episodes, and she's like, I just listened to that song.
It's horrible.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
And I was like, that's the chart. That's the whole point, right,
that's the whole point.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
It's horrible. But anyway, whatever.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Someone in Facebook group fucking hell, making us, making us
work harder than they just asked, what's the favorite song
out there? For the segments? Overwhelmingly tell me it's beautiful, beautiful.
It's a soothing hymn. And I thought, what said. I
thought we needed something a bit more grunge, and we
did it. You know. I listened back and I think
(32:48):
we should avoid rock.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
It sucks. It's very.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Very raspy, very very But at the time we were
like high fiving, like this is.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Great this footage.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
We put the vote out there and people were also like,
we want to hear samples before we commit to a vote,
and I was like, what doesn't work like that?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, this is not a production company, just a couple
of people laying around came out.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
So some of the options were, hey, you by our cast, Like, yeah, okay,
it good. Didn't you win? Scap Van, what the heck
is that you know the Scapman's song. No what, I'm
a scat man.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I think what we should do is make a song
worse than the one we've got.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
No what other options? So we've got so with the
one that won, we've got should Twain Twain? You said Twain?
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Should? Should? I Twain Twain?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
So I said Twain? Okay, man, I feel like a woman. Okay,
how would that go? No, I'm asking you are the composers.
We haven't actually record I was trying to pretend that
we recorded it.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh, all right, whatever, let's go here it is.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Anyway, we gotta pretend how good it was.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
That was great, full disclosure.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
We haven't recorded it. We record it, okay, so you
can have the old one. But now, God, moving on?
What I want to be previous? You say, what, man,
I feel like a parent.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I'm glad this is so funny.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Good. Good to giggle.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
It is good to giggle. Good?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Actually should it's good to giggle. I'm going to my
rant now, okay, great, do you kick us off? I'm
going to kick us off. We have a residual I
have a residual rant.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
So I had the issue where I didn't take the
rubbish out. Remember I forgot and then missed the truck.
And then people had all their suggestions off the back
of the episode last week a week before, a.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Lot of people asked you to burn down your house. Yeah,
actually I'd love to do. That would have been awkward
if you did it, it would have been.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
And then I got a lot of suggestions being like,
call the council whatever, make up something, and I was like,
this is my burden to deal with.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
So I snuck around. Someone said call up the council
and pretend like they forgot you. Yeah, well that's just
I'm throwing the poll of driver.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Under the bus. Then yeah, that's skeet him. And I
was like, oh no, I'll just creatively put it into
the neighbor's bits. And that was the solution. But got
me thinking about how small, and this is the rant,
how fucking small that red bin is for a household,
Like you get a request a bigger one, Yeah, I know,
(36:11):
I know WHOA. I got a friend who works in
rubbish shout out to my bins and I was like, hey, dude,
surely you've got a spare red bin. And he's like,
they won't pick it up. He's like, you need to Actually,
it's like, oh, they know, they know, they have a
list of have a list of bins. Yeah, because if you.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Like street House number forty seven, well that's a bigger bin.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Yeah, you can't go out like I think it's part
of your rates depending on you have like an enormous
That's what I need.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
My kids they go through so much. I don't know
how they do it. But my rant is the bin
from day one.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
If it's a house and that bins that it's too small,
it's too small, one.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
More times too small small. You know what happened to me?
Two things on the bin segment, just really quickly segment.
One person message I think they're from Ballarat, maybe part
of the world, and they said their bins get collected
every two weeks.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I saw that right, So I was like, just wait
till X fortnite. Can you imagine that I'd live in
a dump?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Imagine imagine that with a newborn child.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Far out.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
And also to add to that, so I collected our
bins last week and I was like, far out, I
couldn't find my bin. I was like, all the bins
have been picked up. And then there was one there
that was. I was like, it's not my red bin,
it's a different number. And I was like, clearly someone's
taken it, and I was pissed off. I was like,
(37:44):
so I took your bin, but I've never once washed
out my bin. Right. The thing is, it's got like
dog shit, like some pancaked onto the bottom of the
inside of the bin. The bin that was left Christine,
I've upgraded. When accidental upgrade, it was great, except now
bin's got collected. Today, my bin's back.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
They've realized, Yeah, do we know who it is. Yeah,
I got the number of being Gate. Let's call them.
I'd say, what say, hey, you took my clean bin,
and you just see what they say. But it has
it has the house. It'd be funny whatever next time.
Just quickly on my rant that I did.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
I thought I thought I was doing a rant that
would be reciprocated by people online. Which one was that well?
I made the mistake though. The safe community, the podcast,
the judgmental community, social media, Okay, school Holidays. I was
having a rant about the groups of teenage boys that
(38:47):
are going around the neighborhood with no respect for anyone
except for themselves. No helmets, cutting off traffic, almost causing
accidents left, right and center.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Easy boomer.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
That's what people said, like did you turn twenty? Did
you turn thirty eight or eighty? On the weekend?
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Totally yeah, so okay you.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
People were like, people are really having to go with me.
I leave those boys alive. Were like, the teenage boys,
what do you want them to do? Just stay inside
all day? And I was like, yeah, yeah, exactly, get
off the road.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
You know when they're like when you try to get
rid of something, someone's like, don't get rid of them.
They keep away the you know what I mean? Like
for example, it's like, don't get rid.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Of the snakes. They keep away the rat Well, what
are the teenage boys keeping away?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I don't know where they keep it away.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
And I just want to say I think teenage boys
are great. I love that they're out there and joining
the school holidays. But it's just when they're like weaving
in and out of traffic and they're doing wheelies when there,
when they're loitering, they're loitering, do you know what?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
And look, this is kind of sort of spawn on
the end of the days.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, I love spawn. I know you having a third kid,
you love spawn anyway, And it was the last day
of school term and I stupidly went to the shops
right on school finish.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
There's a high school across the road. I tell you
right now that time. It's like a prison yard. These kids,
they're vapor. Yeah, how old are we?
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Immediately give us a city? They're smoking? Guy, I used
to smoke a pack of day Yeah, the different times
I would changed. Man.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Back in my day, we used to smoke winning rends
at the shopping Now they're vapor in the food court.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
But they're just they're up to no good anyway. I
just want to say that, like when you have a rant,
don't share it on social media because they'll judge her.
Here will embrace you regardless of the rant, regardless who's
wrong or right.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Let's get on to a lesson ramp.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
This is from Brook and Her rant is when you're
at an appointment with your baby and they are in
the pram with the swaddle covering them because they are
due for their nap. But the professional U were seeing
takes it upon themselves to remove the battle and start
talking to your baby. Why it's not your child.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
The doctor's appointment before the child. Good point, we.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Need more context. I get if I'm assuming it's your
point for the mum. Okay, cool, all right with you
the doctor, and like, let's just give a nod to
the doctors the great work in this country, not real doctors.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
But where is she rural? Yeah that's something a rural
doctor would.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's rural behavior. Yeah that is from
Darwin or somewhere somewhere specific.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Look, yeah, look, leave the kids, let the kids sleep right,
thank you, and attend to the real patient, which is
the mum. So if you're listening in your doctor, hands off, buddy.
All right, next tie. This one's from Charlotte. Oh this
is wow. The price of baby chinos. It's literally left
(41:58):
over steamed milk.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
How much is a baby chair? Not to sound like
I'm not and I hate to steal the words from
hamichnanity but not touch with the common man, but what's
a baby China's?
Speaker 5 (42:09):
What?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Dollar forty?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
I don't know. I don't even know do they charge?
I'm just paying? Why's my coffee cost eleven dollars? Well,
you get a marshmallow. Marshmallow is worth something? Well not really,
we got the cup. You're paying for merchandise. It's probably recycled,
you still got to.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Pay for it. I mean maybe, I think I think
there should be like a minimum spend. If you're spending
ten dollars, you get a free baby chino.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Hear me out? Go on, we should start a campaign
that all baby chinos should be free.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Okay, small businesses are gonna hate this. No, because with
free subsidized by the government, who's paying? No, free with
any a large coffee.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
So in other words, if I'm a parent and I'm like,
I'll buy a regular coffee, They're like, do you know
if you get a large coffee a free babycino for
young fucking Timmy over there?
Speaker 1 (43:03):
He's good, he's good, very good, Anita, I think that's
a good idea. I agree, But we've got we've got
rants to get to.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
We can get around a cafe and be like, hey,
your baby Gino's free? Why not?
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Like a current affair style. I hate to cut you off, sorry,
but this one is having fun, Anita. Sorry, come on
you finished? Yeah, she says. School holidays day one and
I'm already being driven mad by my kids.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
We had day one yesterday and I had to take
the kids to work with me. I don't really have
a job, but I had to take them to me
to with me to do work. Yeah, I'm with a
one hundred percent how why what? Anyway?
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Fair rant, It's annoying, That's what it is. I've got
one from Hannah starting a conversation telling me I looked, Oh.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
My god, like that for into.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
The category of what not decayed? Our parents like, you
look tired? So anyway, would you like a baby?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Tino?
Speaker 2 (44:04):
It's going to cast you.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
A last one here, it's from Dannyelle. When I pick
up my kids from Nan and Pop and she smells
like their perfume colone, Oh, mothballs, O.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Man, oh h so oscar and that get home and
they're like, can they give you a b cuddle? And
I smell their breath and it smells like Cabri chocolate.
I'm like, they've sugar, but yeah, if they come home,
they smell like your NaN's perfumela. Oh you're wearing too
much perfume anyway.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
And see that all those rants warm embrace from us?
We love that? Who else do we love Aldi for
bringing this segment today?
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Just low prices every day, Aldi, good different matters that
time of the week where we take questions from the listeners.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
I don't know if you know how that works. I
don't refresh my memory.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
They can send us a d M.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
They can send us an EMA. What that's great? Can
I get through it all? Sorry? Sorry?
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Also on the Facebook group, they ask us questions and
we're here to serve.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
So we have some questions answers. Serve on a hot
plate answers. Wimbledon's on?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Okay, okay, I go on for you? Yes, and it
is around propaganda. What sort of parenting propaganda are you
not falling for? Okay? Well one go okay, how many
do you want to do?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
How many this is we've got? I've got three?
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Here, I got three?
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Okay, this one is the most important. I think partly
because she earns more money than me, but mam mama
should focus on parenting instead of their career.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
We're not having that, not falling for that propaganda. I'll
give you one. Cherish every moment. What about when you
get shot on I'm not cherished in that moment? I
think like that is such like a you should really
cherish every moment like that sort of backhanded Okay, what
(46:23):
else you got do.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
You know who says that people who only parent their
kids like on the weekends, People who aren't really in
the trenches like some of us. But it's the people
whenever I be like, it goes so fast, you have
to enjoy it, it's someone who only really parents like
they're working through a leg and then they're on the weekends,
(46:46):
And it's like, if that works for you, sure, what
if they need to work to survive, survive, I'm stop
me from working, but you're not really getting a taste
of what true parenting is.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Work early one day and come home for the bathroutine.
Fuck now, cherish that. I feel like it's like just
continually yelling the same sentence every.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Night, generle parenting. One of the time, Oh that's garbage.
How do you get by with that? They don't listen.
No one's that nice. Obviously, there are times where you
can gentle parent. Whenever a gentle parent, and it works,
I'm like, good on you. But I also think the
kids look at me like, what's going on with this guy?
I know they're like, shut up, just tell me.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
What to do, trying to nurse me into what to do,
like yeah, not man, baby smell amazing.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
No, I'm not falling for that, but they do. They don't.
Speaker 2 (47:44):
They're musky, I like dusty.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
I like the obviously when they've like done a massive pooh,
I like I like the foot jam sour milk.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
It's cute each their own, but that's I'm not falling
for that properly. Sorry, and thankfully I don't have to
because I'm not having any more kids. If you used
to hold your new kid, this is one that I'm
trying to instill into Laura. Okay, we're still working on it.
But the house shouldn't be cleaned when guests the right,
So you think you should be dirty? Yeah, I think
(48:17):
there's got to be a middle ground.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Matthew, I think presentable. If you got kids, it's fine.
I think it's fine to.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
A degree, but you're not going to walk in and
there's fucking shit over the floor.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Well, obviously there's a line somewhere that's saying there has
to be a middle ground. But the washing can be
on the table, that's fair, thank you, not on the
floor though. Wow, I didn't expect this segment to go
this way. Okay, anyway, whatever, my last one, whatever me,
My last one is sibling love is beautiful. It's not annoying.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
It's so annoying. Like I wish my kids just flat
out out of each other because they're like play nice
for one say, and then all of a sudden there's like.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Beat down city. My kids are really into hitting each other,
like full upper cutting, like punch on, that's a good,
right hook, but stop that.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
And Oscar was like, like, kid his sister a little bit.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
It's never anything.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
It's more like annoying to annoy. And then Oscar like
the other day, was like Mace's biting me. And I
was like, come here, Oscar. I'm like, was she biting
it or not? He was like I thought she was
going to.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
I was like, bro, it doesn't work like it doesn't
work like that, mate, So that's propaganda. I'm not falling for.
Well said, I asked just one more question, if this
one's from Kirsty, she would love to know what's the
most feral thing your kid has ever done in public?
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Oh it's a long list. Well, let's cast our memories
back to a story I did tell on this podcast
early on in this in its inception, I.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Think it was like, wow, I have a way with words.
It was. It must have been within the first like
ten twenty epps. Yeah, so if you want to go
back and listen to that and represent that'd be great things.
I told a story where I take one kid shopping
because it's too hard with both to do the big shop.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
And I got a milkshake for Oscar and I to share,
mainly for me and for Oscar to have a little
bit flavor. It was honeycomb. Honeycomb, Yeah, I love that lava.
And we were in the shops. I had given it
to him to have a set and I was like,
turn to get what we needed it and I took
(50:33):
a little bit longer, not really noticing, and I turned
around and Oscar had.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
Finished the milkshake. Disappointing for you. Disappointing, Yeah, that's not
the feral part. The feral part is he started to shiver,
and I was.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Like, you cold.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
He went into shock.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Literally, we're not in the darea, we're not in the
cold section. We're like, he's got hypothermia. We're mid shops
and he's like because the milkshake was so.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
Cold, he's like shivering and he's in the trolley. See
a leader of ice cream literally he's more ice cream
than person. At the moment, it was like, I was like,
what's wrong. I realized body temper is just battling.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
It was struggling to survive. Anyway, I've like taken the
lid off, thankfully, I've taken the lit off to look
in and he's really cleared that out.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
I'm no wonder.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
He's shivering and I.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Was like, are you okay?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
And he was like a brave bade yeah, and then
he's gone pale. I'm like, there's a vomit coming here, and.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
He's instincts kicked. Yeah, he projectile vomited.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
I've caught every drop in back into the cup, okay,
and he's like caught it all, like the best perfect
catch ever. And it was still cold when.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
It came back out.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
You know when like you were younger and you did
a beer bong and you spewed it back up and
it was still cold. That's what it was. Anyway, got
much better after that, but people in that aisle, what
am I watching here?
Speaker 1 (52:04):
Nice to have a little flashback into what Ash's youth
was like, But yeah, that was disgusting. That actually could
that could work for our next segment? What's the next segment,
Parenting Wins.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Oh yeah, that is a win.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
Rub that in, big guy. Yeah, we love wins that
you can rub in. You know what else you can
rub in? Parenting wins would not be possible without support
from Vicks Vapor.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
Rub now available in new lavendercent Okay, first, this one's
from Bronti. Getting in the car after six pm, risky
kids fall asleep, but then you're able to carry them
to bed without waking.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Hallelujah. That's not a parenting win, that's a parenting miracle.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
That is outstanding stuff. Rub in.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
Rub that right in. Ooh, Sarah from a teacher. We
don't often get submissions from a teacher, but we love them.
And she says, I got to pee and eat my
lunch without interruptions from the kids.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
Very good.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
Also, what's the deal with that staff room?
Speaker 2 (53:02):
What's going on in there? There's always off limits? You
know how that one teacher come against me?
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Do you want because they just want to have their lunch,
They're all like, what's going on there? Just acts a
little bit more like it's you'd.
Speaker 2 (53:14):
Be welcome and the kids won't care what's in there?
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Like yeah, I know, it's like what are you guys
up to What are you hiding?
Speaker 2 (53:20):
What are you hiding in? There?
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Got like hot tubs something right.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
This one's from Simone. I've convinced my kids that keys
is actually cake.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Did not see that coming, genius when rub it in?
Next one, I love. I love lying to kids and
making them, making them think that's something healthy. Is a treat, diud.
You just like the satisfaction when you get away with it. Anyway.
This is from Matthew, great name. By the way, our
(53:54):
youngest wake up at five am instead of three am.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Oh hell, good, ole brad do it's so good when
they sleep in? Is that a sleep in? No?
Speaker 1 (54:03):
But so good when they actually sleep in. You'll take it.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
I'll take it. I'll take that extra two hours, okay.
I go on from Amanda turning everything into a race
because her competitive nature has well and truly clicked in.
Race to the car, race upstairs and rush your teeth,
race to get undressed the shower.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
I let her win every time. That's always a good
one for kids. For girls, I think it kicks in
later Oh yeah yeah, and so as a girl. Dad,
when you could start doing like competitive races for any
little crappy activity.
Speaker 2 (54:40):
I've been doing it for years, all right, legend, because
it's a boy. You're a great parents.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
Tory. I have a three and a four year old
and deciding what to make them for breakfast is always
a disaster. So I've created laminated pictures of breakfast options
and they walk and just point to which one they want. Genius.
That's a hack.
Speaker 2 (55:03):
If anything, that's a hall So it must be nice
with the kids have all these choices, just like pointing
at the.
Speaker 1 (55:11):
Like purage this daddy.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
I love the Parrish.
Speaker 1 (55:15):
We're a porridge family. Do you see that meme?
Speaker 2 (55:18):
It was like I get it now with the like
little red riding hood or whatever it was, and it
was like mum and Mum's porridge is too cold, Dad's
is too hot, but the kids is just right. Think
about that on a deeper level, all.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
Right, Ash, That is parenting wins for this week, which
I love it when parents rub it in, I'm all
for it. And it is brought to you by vix
Vapor rub. For the ultimate parenting hack this winter, try
vix vapor Up, now available in new lavendercent It provides
coffin cold relief for a peaceful sleep because when they sleep, Ah,
you sleep.
Speaker 2 (55:54):
Shop the vix lavender range in store or online at
chemist Warehouse. Always read the label and follow direct.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Actions for use. Matthew, have some terrible news.
Speaker 2 (56:02):
That's dreadful.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
That's all we have time for.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
Oh god, it's been a long while.
Speaker 1 (56:06):
It's disappointing, isn't it. It has been I'm hungry. I'm
very hungry. Okay, I apologize hate. I hate when I
yell at you. I need a gentle friendship you.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 1 (56:18):
If you enjoyed this episode, we would absolutely love it.
I did get a very nice message in the Instagram
page for Two Dads and it was great. But I
was like copy and pastes sent Apple podcast as a review,
but I didn't. I did, but but we would appreciate.
Speaker 2 (56:35):
I'll also put a nod to a couple of nice
messages that I received personally, just about some of the
more vulnerable episodes that we have done, and people putting
their mental health first.
Speaker 1 (56:44):
It's great, but what they should put first is a
subscribe to the point, I'm joking. I'm joking, joke. If
you do subscribe, that would be great and follow us
on social media.
Speaker 2 (56:57):
Two Doting Dads on Instagram, Facebook, and also TikTok Let's
get some lunch okayanodbye bye, good bye.
Speaker 1 (57:12):
If you enjoyed this episode like a burp, hang on
a second, excuse me, nasty, I'm Jess, I'm so sorry.
We're all we're very gassy today. Speak for yourself. Two.
Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (57:34):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
people's today
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