July 29, 2025 • 51 mins
Matty J and Ash are twinning this episode after making a big boy purchase in the hope of solidifying their masculinity (For the record, there's no such thing as buying your way to masculinity!)
Setting the side the purchase for a moment, Matt has become more primal during the family holidays down in Ulladullah. Spearfishing, cooking and oh, believing he's a tradie when he is, in fact, nowhere near a professional.
Oscar is causing toilet mayhem in the Wicks household and dad's copping the blame. Why? Well, Ash is overloading him with toilet instructions and it's confusing the boy!
We also get into your Par-Rants for this week, where you air out your parenting grievances.
We also answer your questions:
- Things parents would never say
- What age do you think is appropriate for a child to have a TV in their bedroom?
BUY OUR SMELLY T SHIRTS HERE
https://www.twodotingdads.com/category/all-products
Buy our book, which is now available in-store!
https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552
If you need a shoulder to cry on:
Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you ever hold your breath for too long that
it makes you?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We? Sorry? What you heard me? What? Where? When are
you holding your breath for so long? Why? I have
so many questions, mainly why.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Like in the ocean, you ever hold your breath for
a long time? No, and it makes you to wei what.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Just uncontrollably or just make it gives you the urge?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yeah, but it doesn't take much just to let it
come out.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Do you think it's pressure? You're on your own anyway,
get that checked. Welcome back to two Dating Dads.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I am Mattie J And I'm Ash And this is
a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
It is the good, it is the bad, and they're relatable.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
If you come for advice, Ash, just tell them.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
We got none.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Anyway, moving on, how are you very well? Very well?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
For people who may have not realized we had a
little break, we did not like Life on Cut?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
What did you they have to be? Break?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Didn't put any episodes out slack?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I know that's what that is.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I like in Facebook, and because I comment a lot
of Life on Cut, I try and like get in
there on the Facebook group love it.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And someone was like, oh, there's a big problem. There's
no episode today. Did you just put our episode in there?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And I said, holidays must be not And I was like,
someone put out an episode this afternoon, this morning.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Wow, there you go. Everybody was like, shut up. I
would like to know. Are they committed to this? Yeah,
we are. I don't think they are. Nah, they're not.
I'm going to say they're not.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah, we didn't take any holidays. No, well we kind
of did pre recorded we did.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
You took a holiday? I kept the wheels turned and
I didn't. I didn't do anything. I just had kids
for the whole holiday. We are recording this.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
We're going to let people in a little secret and
how we make this podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
The magic of podcasts.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Going to invite you into the inner sanctum. Oh be careful, okay, right,
the door is just like opened up slightly.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Come on.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, it's a jar and you're welcome to come on in,
take a seat, get comfortable. We record like a week
in advance.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh oh said that he was going to break the
internet half a red bull gone crazy. You're flairing arp,
you're flairing arm. No, but we are.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
So that's how that's how we could take a break.
So we are recording now. It is the first day back.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Of school, and I want to say congratulations to all
the parents out there for making it. I did drop
off this morning with oscar and there was a mum
in front of me and she pretty much kicked the
kids out of the car and said get the fuck
out of my car without the effort. Maybe she said it,
maybe not. I'm not going to judge and go to
school and annoy someone else.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
There were a lot of very happy parents, and I'm
sure there'll be a lot of very sad parents this
afternoon for pickup.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
They should have We should have like a party every
first day of term, just saying, let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
If you get invited to that, there's no way you're attending.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Why because you hate I'd be lit though.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I don't want to judge your parenting ass. Oh god,
I'm not here to do that.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
No good.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I'm not here to make you feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I certainly hope not.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
But yeah, you're a maniac. You're crazy. Thank you, you're insane.
I know you're doing it all wrong. What do you
mean I'm doing it oral?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You don't use the school's holiday care system.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
We do well, go on one day a week? Just
the what do you do? It's not my call, man,
I'm not in charge. I'm not in charge. And I
think we were trying to.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
This is awkward because now it's I think it's a
great idea.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
What you're doing with the one day a week, very good.
Why because I already told April you've you've shamed it
for the one day week. No, it's I think that at
the moment, we were just like trying to save money.
So it was like easier to just don't.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Cry poor to me, make him tell you know what
you're like, I know the money in your pockets.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Speaking about money in my pockets.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
We're just trying to save you know what I mean, Like,
we're just trying to script together a little dollars in
a cents because it's really tough on the northern beaches.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You're living North BONDI bro, let's not get started, all right,
Let's not get started on that. Speaking of money. Yeah, okay,
I have made a purchase, and I would say some
would say I am now a man. Now let me
just chasteurize back. I thought we were going to talk
(04:59):
about we're not talking about it. What you think I'm
going to talk about I'm bumps here in you?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
How many what do you get?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Well, last week we spoke about this toolbox and we
had a little moment during that chat we could cast
back where we didn't know what goes in the toolbox
is very empathetic and very embarrassing. So I went out
and I thought, I need to be more of a man,
and every man has what Matt, a screwdriver set, a toolbag, toolbag,
(05:29):
Brace yourself. It's outstanding value too. We'll go through that shortly.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
The suspense right now is reaching under the table.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I got the same one. Shut up, shut up, go
and get it, go and get it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I got them right, the snaptools, super tools.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
What's this a zip? How's that work?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Because it has a little ready, it has a little
black wrench set, it does bam, little black hammer.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Where is it? What else? Red screwdriver? Very good? Hey, color,
your colors are on point, considering the bag is black
and red. Put it together. So yeah, look, I thought
there's a lot of things. Oh yeah, you know, yeah,
let me just start that sentence again. Anyway, Cobber. The
(06:23):
thing is I was just linking about you're forcing it
to Yeah. Look, I was just thinking that's better. Thank
you listening here, Cobber. I was walking around the house
and I thought, there's a lot around here that needs
to be fixed, and I don't have the tools to
fix them.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So I went out and I bought a tool bag,
talking very slowly to fix them or speed it up
in edit.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Anyway, Oh, man, finally I have the same one. We're
both man, do you reckon? This is the one that
they direct Did you ask for help? No?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Because I said I own to Bunnies and I said
I need a toolbox, and he said this is the
one you want drinking This is like, if you have this,
you're a loser. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
All of the cashies, all the checkout dudes, we're like,
we got another one. Fella, get shamed on the way out. Shame. No,
that's good. Do you know what also is good? Wait?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Why did you buy it? Why did you buy the
toolbag box thing?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I recently purchased a simulator, a little toolbox. I needed
a specific Alan key, and unless a man would have
just bought the Allen key, not me, man, not you anyway,
So if anyone needs any home improvements guy.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
We can give a special shout out to Trady Dad follows.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, what do you think about that?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Big He must be listening, going, what a bunch of
absolute pathetic losers.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's better. It's an upgrade from my my tool zip
lock bag. But has it been upgrade? But yeah, I
think every dad has a ziplock bag in their cupboard
somewhere with miscellaneous tools from certain flat packs.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And it's a great little it's almost like a lunch
carry mate.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, you look good, you look great? You think I
look good? Now I watched this. I come over to
do some maintenance your house.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Oh no, my table is so wonky.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I wonder who's going to fix it? Oh my god,
he's so handsome. Yeah. So there's a few things around
the house that needed attending to. Yet to attend to
them because I was playing the simulator, playing the simulator,
But I figured, like once I do eventually lose all
of those tools. Yeah, I've just got a nifty little
carry back.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
It's we have turned into the same person.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
You're growing a mustache. I've got tools.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
It's I I did the exact same thing because we
were down the other dollar house.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Must be nice thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
And this whole time I've been here buck in Sydney,
and I would love to have got my hands dirty
ash and do a lot of the work myself on
the house in Ala Dullah, But I can't because I'm here.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And you need to be qualified to do. But I
can know, how hard can it be? Let's insult every
trading When now.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
The house is like not quite finished.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Were like, do you need me to come down and
finish it? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
So it's about it's like ninety nine percent done. There's
a couple of like tiny little jobs that need doing,
just like the little finicky ones. And we got down
there and I was kind of eyeing off a few
of these jobs and like Laura is like a light
that needs to be put in and blah blah blahlah blah,
and she's like, can you get Tom, who's a build
a shout out to Tom.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
He's a great guy, So can you.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Get Tom to do it? And Tom for the holidays?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
He went away. Tom deserves a break, he deserves a break.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And I thought to myself, I have two options here.
I can wait till Tom comes back, send him in
the email with a list of jobs that I need finished.
But then I thought to myself, no, I'm a man,
a big boy. Go down to Bunnings. I can buy
what's required. I can buy the materials and I will.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Do it myself. Okay, And how did that go? Really good?
Really good. One of the jobs.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Laura was like, I'd love to paint the garage the
roller door.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I saw, yes, And I was like, I can do that.
A bit of primer, beautiful one cat.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
One cat put one kind of primer. Oh. Just as
the primers.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And I come back and I messaged Tom. I said, hey,
I set him a photo the primer and I said,
I'm going to do this myself.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You're relieved, you're going to come back in.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
This place to be finished. And he goes, that's not
primer for metal, that's primer for wood, and I was.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Like, very good.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Oh past, and anything that I touched I damaged.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I broke. So the roller door dried and warp the.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Paint like warped the metal door so it wouldn't go
up and down.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So when you roll it up and down, you have
to like push it in. Could Tom give an explanation
to why that would have happened? Well? I didn't.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I wasn't going to tell Tom that, but then I
put it on my Instagram story and now Tom knows,
and he just messages back and goes, yeah, don't worry,
I'll fix that next week.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Let the professionals do it. Bro That's what I've learned
in my short.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, everything everything I touched, I broke.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I Now you were showing me of what we're doing.
You're showing me the camera camera.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And I tried to move it, but then I ripped
off the bath.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Just ripped off the paint.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
And do you know how much I spent on a
drill and a little ladder, like two hundred and sixty
bus because I was like, I want the good stuff
tax reductible.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Of course it'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So now I'm sitting like at home with garage for
the tools that I don't use, and I've got to
get Tom to fix everything.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Maybe you should just give the tools to Tom and
you just take them, take the retired. How was the
rest of your trip down there? Anyway? It was good, dude,
it was good. I don't know if you.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Saw the fact that I was providing for my family
with fish, fish that i'd caught, wildfish, wildfish.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
It's pretty impressive. I will say what I meant that, No,
I did you Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah. Do you
know what I would quite like what you did with
it is when you splayed them out and there was
some lemon involved and they were getting ready to cook.
That was good. I did like that. It's weird.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's something something special about God being out there in
the wild in the ocean, just you and the elements.
I saw a manta ray thingk was fucking huge. Seen
a mandare before I was face to face.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
With a beast. Well said, well, I was. I'm a
bit scared of sharks.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Who isn't Yeah right, right, like really deep down, even
people who swim with the sharks daily are scared of
the fucking sharks.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
When I left, I was like, I had my my
wet suit half on, and to the kids, I was like,
goodbye my children, kids, Remember head, I love you.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I always will remember this moment. As you trod off,
they're like, fuck after, did you have to walk backwards
because you had flippers on in the water too.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, but I was, I was. I was in the water,
and you know, it's a little bit murky. It's also early.
It was like seven thirty in the morning. The sun
wasn't quite you know, it was beaming, so visibility was
not great.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Where were the kids at this point? Laura was looking
after the kids club? Okay, we're talking about Ponte club
after we'll talk.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
About But yes, Mandaray came out of nowhere and like it.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Was a big one. Fucking dude, it was. It was
It was like it was like a fry pan. It's
how big is It depends how many times I've told
the story. I want to say, wingspan? Are they wings
That was bigger than the table, bigger than this table.
Get fucked.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I'm not even kidding. That is huge, Like I wouldn't
lie to you, know that.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
How many times have you told this story? First, I've
been holding on to it. So imagine how big the
mantare is going to be after you've told the giant
squid that's big.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
And I didnt see any fish, and I thought Laura
is going to be so disappointed by the time I
come home empty handed, sandwich lovely, But I saw this
one fish. It's massive fish.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Drummer fish, drummer drummer fish, yeah, drummer fish. So shot.
The drummer fish got shot off, got a shot off
and right through the guts.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Nice and and this it's funny how we were like
we joke about the fact that we change our voices
slightly in the moment depending on who we're talking.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Fishman's voice. Well, this was captain birds are here. Captain
that's more pirate. Captain birds are there. Was a guy
I came over.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
You know when you're like, you can't you're inquisitive. You know,
if someone's got a fish on the beach, you want
to know what they're caught. Like if they're on a
wharf and someone pulls in, that's a lie.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I'm just walking straight past. That is a lie.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
If someone is on the wharf and Jetty and the
rod has been you want to see what they've caught.
The fish is a fish man, You just don't get it.
But we were fillting the fish, like scaling them.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
I like fill fish we are doing. Guy came over
and he was like, what have you guys caught there?
And I was like, a couple of drummers. Yeah. As
I then skipped back to Laura, look I caught love.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
A couple of drummers, and she like, because she's pregnant,
she hates seafood.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
She was like, oh great, he's going to cook it.
And I was like, you are like. Fish is one
of those things where it's like if you if you've
got any sort of queasiness whatsoever, and a dead fish
goes like was delicious, was delicious?
Speaker 1 (16:38):
And Emily enjoyed her Pony Club.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, tell us about pony Club again. Just remind listeners
and the new listeners what your kids do at pony club.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Okay, you're trying to make you're trying to make me
no position me is something that I'm not. Okay, yes,
my child has Pony Club.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So your pony family.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
But I had to pad is this because when I
say pony Club, people think that it's really bougie.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Straight away, I was like, oh you know, we've got ponies.
What it is?
Speaker 1 (17:13):
It is an old farm, Trusty Steed.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Farm that was called Yeah, that's pretty good. Now I
like that very good, very good, solid, solid.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
And the lady who runs it is she's she's harsh,
but she's fair, she's great, she's great. She's an older lady.
She won't mind me saying that. I'm sure and she's great.
When I dropped Maley off for the first time. This
is the second time Alis had to sing.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
At pony Club.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
May watches like a Barbie show.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
It was going to be real boom and they're all like.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
E questrian gear and the horses are all like beautiful
that sounds.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I was like, this is going to be great. Finally
my life is living on to what it shouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
And then we get there and the first job you
have to do is shovel.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Ship like for an hour has the reality checks.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Was like, it's going to came. I want to buy
a new outfit for my pany club. So she has
a brand new outfit and came up that she was
so excited to wear.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
One of those whip things, had a little helmet.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I'm ready and she gets there and I like hand
her over and the lady is like, here you go,
start shoveling shit, get in there.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
He was like wow, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And then like as I drove off, I like looked
at Marley standing in like ankle deep shit.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
So I'll pick you up at three o'clock. What about Lola? No,
Lola too young? Too young, too young? And also now
she knows how she is. Yes, She's like like that
I can say home to watch TV genius. Well, sounds
like a lovely trip, thank you. I didn't go anywhere.
I just got sick of my kids really quickly. There's
(18:47):
a drag one problem we're having at the moment. You
won't understand this because you have girls. I have a boy.
His name is Oscar. I'm not sure if you know.
He's six. And then he peeps out of his penis okay,
which is surprised to me, which is seems to be
a problem for us, because there's like when you were
saying when you were a child, that pea gets everywhere.
(19:08):
But yeah, you had you had other reasons for that.
But Oscar's just I have my foreskin removed, six skin,
six skin. Yeah. We talk about it every week anyway.
So he uses the big toilet obviously. And April said
to me one morning, she said, hey, you left the
toilet set up? And I said, listen, we've been together
(19:31):
for like fourteen years. Have I ever once left the
toilet set up? Could you sit down? We are no, Jake,
Oh weird, it'd be comfortable. I try that. It's great. Yeah,
I had a time I was like fourteen years. I
haven't you don't do it. I've just never I've just
always put it back down. That's very considered, Thank you.
I think it's one of the small things that's considerate. Yeah, forever,
(19:55):
I always will be a good guy. And people talk
about you behind your back if you don't, that's what I think.
I don't know because I don't. I don't do it anyway, so.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
It's almost insulting that you've been.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I was insulted. I was like, Hey, there's two boys
in this house now, and she was like, oh, yes, okay,
and she was like, can you talk? Can you talk?
There's one adult, two boys. There's two small boys in
this and I was like, she was like, can you
talk to him because this is the boy think. I'm like,
(20:27):
that's fair, okay. And I said to ask her, Hey,
can you put the seat back down when you pee?
And yeah, okay, great, no worries. And then I get
the a few weeks later, Hey, when you pee on
the seat, ash, can you make sure that I've been
blamed again now? And I said, hey, we've been together again.
(20:49):
We've been together for fourteen years. Have I ever once
pissed on the seat? And she said no, And I said, yeah,
it's called common courtesy, babe, And if I did, I'd
wipe it up nictly, just again, stand out individual think.
I think it's the bare minimum of being a human
human male. Yeah. Would I do it at a pub? No,
(21:11):
it's different on the floor.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Anyway, before I could say something, actually, I forgot. I
forgot to say something to him, to be like, hey,
what to do properly? A couple of days have gone past,
I'd forgotten, and I was busting for a shit okay,
and I fucking bolted down the hallway, bolted into the bathroom,
right down, sat right down.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
On pissh It's awful, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah, especially in winter. I was like, oh, what the fuck?
Realized and then I said to Oscarr, Hey, this is
what you need to do. Okay, this is current routine.
All right. It was set up pe wash your hand,
wash your hands. That was his routine. And I said, hey,
(22:00):
seat down. So then his routine went from not even
putting the seat up, confused okay, And then I said,
all right, this is what we'll do. We do run
through a dry run if you will for a better words.
And I was like, okay, you ready toilet? Seat up, pee,
toilet seat down.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Okay, it's it's like it's it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
For a kid, Yeah, six year old. Seems to be.
What I saw that he was doing is that instead
of adding in the extra steps, he was just replacing
current steps that were in his routine, which is really
fucking annoying because it had a knock on. Right. So
when I was okay, up, down, wash your hands, Okay,
then I noticed a couple of days going past he
was doing the Wii properly, not washing his hands, and
(22:46):
I was like, brod add the steps in, add them in.
Have you got the written down somewhere? Good, good idea
maybe to do that. He's only just learned to read,
though overloaded, but I want to overload too much. Figure
it's I.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Got to read just pissing the the garden.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah. So I'm like, all right, let me give you
the basic rundown of how this should go all the
time for the rest of your life. This is literally
a life lesson. I'm gonna give you right now. Toilet
set up, pe, toilet seat down, flush, you were missing
he was missing flushed, buty, do want to overcomplicate it
because it's not cess critical. This is a shit and
(23:24):
then go in, wash your hand with soap and leave. Okay.
So I've given him all of that and he's at
the point where he's doing like seventy five percent. Sometimes
he'll leave the seat up, but he'll flush wash his
hand so he can't put all the steps together. It's
a lot, isn't it. I never thought I would have
(23:46):
to go through such heartache as a parent, like putting
up with this. It's like, bro, stop, don't just add
the steps.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
In having a boy sounds awful.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
It's brutal. It's make him sit down with nah because
I don't know then. I don't know, he's.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Just he'll grow up to be a whimp like me anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
So I'm currently dealing with that and then also.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Sometimes to me between you and me, just but like
washing of the hands, especially when it's winter and they've
got jumpers on, and like Marley and Lola hate getting
the jumpers were like the end of the jumper, like
the little ribbing on the end, they getting wet. Sometimes
if I'm wiping their bottom, I'm like, don't worry about
(24:36):
washing it.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Okay, Well fuck that just came out of me. No,
Like I get it. Like no. I'm always like, wash
your hands, wash your hands, and I know they're skipping it.
I know sometimes sometimes sometimes I'm like, I didn't hear
the tap, and even.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Dude will not hear the tap. And I go to
my did you wash your hand? She goes, yeah, smell
them and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
No, thanks and goes feel them. Oh, I don't want
your hands out here. It's discussing. And then I've got
Macie who she'll use the big toilet. But because we
only have one toilet, if oscars, they're doing a pooh
(25:27):
or something whatever poo routine on point, just Gonna says,
and he flushes that every time. Kids love buttons. I'm
not sure.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
If I fucking flash that toilet before they get a
chance to it.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
They're like, oh, damn you. I wanted to see. It's
your evil and I wanted to press the butt on
my own God's sake. I get a great Also, I'm
convinced with the toilet, how it has a full and
half flush, same flush. Oh, there's no different. It's just
one of the biggest scams of our connects to the
same valve. Those bustards, I don't know what they're trying
to prove with it. But I'll figure it out anyway.
(26:02):
Macy sometimes she has to use the potty okay, which
is in the in the bathroom, and it's one of
those ones that has a lid so it closes like
it looks like a toilet. Be honest, have you used
it for what? N fuck off? No? I never, I'll
break if I sit on with this fat ass.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Imagine if Macy came in and you're doing a shit
in a toilet.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
But because it has closed the lid, she sometimes she
goes uses it just on her own accord, ships in,
it shuts the lid, sits there all day and no
one knows.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
And then she'll go to we need to incorporate the
toilet check into your daily routine.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
That's on you. I'm exhausted so many toilets I've got
to check. So it'll sit there all day and then
April will be like, oh, and maybe we'll go to
use it again, and she'll be I can't use it.
I was like why, and it's like there's pooh and
we in here and I'm like, who left that. She's like,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
At least it's better that she's doing that as opposed
to trying to empty it herself.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
But she tried that. Oh it just ended up. She'll
never do that again.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I remember I'm back in the day Lola being like
I'm going to drive it, don't touch me. And it's
like having a bowl of full soup and it's just
like sloshing around and you know you're gonna take me
half an hour of clean up after it.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Have you ever asked the girls to pick up that,
Like if you make them a bowl of cereal and
you're like, here it is, and pick it up and
take it? Oh? Yes, like a drunk with dementia. It's
like their first day working at the cafe and pot coffee.
It's like, yeah, So anyway, I've got Oscar who's pissed
on the seats, and Macy who's leaving fucking grenades and
storing them in a potty And then eventually we're finding
(27:46):
him like twelve hours later, and you can imagine the stench.
Thank guy, it's not summer. Oh we better snap it,
snapper out of it before summer.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Can I ask what you feed the kids for breakfast?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
This is true question. Look, Macey loves a bit of toast.
Oscar is a combination between toast but of cereals and
fruit and yah cereal. He loves rass bubbles. I thought
it was good. Yeah, they got you going.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
And then we give them do you give them like
the real like the good stuff, the good cereal, like
the Coca Pops or the.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Nah we've gotten you, as Oscar calls it, news three grains.
That's also that's a huge big fan. Macon is in
this thing at the moment where she wants a bowl
of granola on its own, no, no milk, yeah, and
then doesn't touch it. We're like four days in a row. Now,
it's not cheap, I know. I said to her, you
just asked for it and now you're not eating it.
(28:50):
What's the deal? What's the deal? And she was like
shut up.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I was like, we we thought when I was growing up,
we would have you know, your standard nutri grain, corn flakes,
rice bubbles, special k, a special ki.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Actually, if you go after give you a bowl, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
But then my mom would say you can have Coca
Pops for the school holidays. Nice, right, and that it
would go in like a heartbeat. It would just get
scoffed down because five kids.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
No one wanted to. Like, if you didn't five kids,
would be like, there's one going like two days.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
You'd have cocoa pops for like lunch, like afternoons.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Let it go so quick.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
And I and Marley was like, I want fruit loops,
fruit loops, fruity loops, whatever it's called.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
And I was like, okay, it's holidays. I'll give you
a bowl.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Holy shit, like just amazing. You know how hard when
I'm trying to feed Marley in the morning, you know
she'll have sometimes she'll do it herself, but most of
the time it gets halfway through and she like wonders
off and feed me.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Dude, straight up in hell? Man, who'd have thought. I'm like,
I get it why. Parents are like, yeah, I have
the sugar. Yeah, kid was like off, she was like
the bowl. I was like, there's none left, give me some.
I was like, oh, well, did you ever get like
on like the little packet of little cereals when you
(30:27):
go like camping and ship like that? Oh yeah? And
I was like, She'll going through one and there's always
this sustain left. Why's that funny? Because it's gross. I
liked it. You would be a shut do you want
to do parents? I do. I want to be preous,
(30:51):
you say what man, I feel like a parent.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Ask great feedback from the listeners about the new song.
I thought people were just taking the piss when they
were like, the song sucks the original one, and I
was like, ah, a good one, and they were like, no,
really like it, like burns it ruins my experience.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And I was like, so then we record a new one.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
It's beautiful, great, Hey, it's nice to have the listeners happy.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
And it was nice and short too.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I think that yeah, yeah, And for anyone who's new
and they don't know what pear rants are, as explained.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, if you've got something you want to get off
your chest, you can send it to us and we'll
get it off your chest for you and you feel
hurt and seene and relieved, hopefully or not.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I I'm going to start with and this one is
from Steph. Steph, it's great to have you here. Often
the ramp entrance to buildings like my local mall Male
is slightly off to the side of the building, and
this is how I have to enter with my newborn
(32:07):
in the pram. It seems to be the perfect spot.
For people to duck out of the building to smoke.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Siggy break.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
The amount of times I'm running with the pram upper
ramp with other people in wheelchairs, gosh, trying just like
actually like a stampede of wheelchairs and prams.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Quickly, get in, quick, everyone get in.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Sorry, Steph, I don't mean to laugh at you around
trying to roll as quick as possible because sorry. People
think this is a place to smoke.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
It is absolutely not a place to smoke. But also
smoke away people still smoking.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Actually, actually I had to I had to walk past
a building yesterday.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Oh god, you had to walk past the building Jesus
and two men smoking outside the building. It's weird, isn't it.
It's a different age, different day and age is what
I meant to say. It's age on because it's funny,
like there's way more tobaccoo shops now but less tobacco
out there gas we're onto something. I think illegal vapes
(33:18):
look fair rant I guess like it is, like there's
going to be brams and stuff walking up there. Like
we were at lunch the other day at Manly Wharf
and literally at the front of the restaurant, some old
dudes sparked up a fucking Winny Red and the wind's
just blowing it into everyone's food, and it's like, just
(33:40):
take ten steps away just to smoke a pack of
them a day. Yeah, but not like that. Where would
you smoke them in my car with the windows rolling up?
It was really trying to really trying to get that
nicotine into me, all right?
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Is that when you were selling cars or you're a
painter both the imagine the sight you after punching half
a packer when he reads in your car, and.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Then trying to sell someone a car. Sorry, I'll be like,
is it the car of the price or something you
haven't mentioned yet, something like that. That's stinking hair slick back?
What do you got? This one's from Jessamine. I think
we've had Jessamine before with the rand or something of
that nature.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
And that's absolutely fine. You can run as many. There's
no quota, there's no limit, There is no limit.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
This one says being judged for the amount of screen
time my thirteen year old has and the person judging
me is my eleven year old. Apparently he's not going
to give his children's screen time or allies. Oh wow, Well,
that's rich. That's rich coming from an eleven year old,
I mean, has no idea.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
You want to be shamed in your own house, by
your own family, by your own child.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Especially someone who's definitely uneducated in how to parent. And
also the younger one as well. Yeah, the old one,
I sai, it's like, you fucked me up? Don't fuck
o one? How do you know what I mean? Like
eleven year old butt out Jessumin. But also if my
eleven year old judged me on that, next time I
saw that kid on a screen, I'd be like, ah no, no,
(35:15):
no no, and I'd take it straight off him. This
one is from Mandy.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Anytime anyone asks if you or your kids still do something, okay,
I'm sure it's well intentioned, but when I hear the
words still, it's amplified or over exaggerated in my head.
For example, are you still breastfeeding?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Are you still co sleeping? Is he's still in nappies?
Still using the dummy? It's insulting, isn't it. It's like
when you say to me, are you still Paul? He
said it once last week when I was like, I
lived in an old five R shack. You're used to
live anyway. I get it. That's it's got like a
(35:58):
real insulting connotation about it. It's like, oh, so you're
still it's like man alcoholic. Yeah, I'm no quitter. Okay,
very good. Last one from Sarah Okay, this one says.
Now the rant is that it's school holidays and I'm
(36:20):
still working. Now bear with me. Yeah, I'm still still's
getting to work out. Still's get to work out? You
still work? Be nice not to anyway. My lovely children
seem to think that because I work from home, I
don't actually work, and will constantly ask me questions even
when I'm on a work call. Oh man, Now my
husband works from home two days a week, and they
(36:41):
won't bother him because he says dad's working. April cops
it from because they literally can't not be near her
when she's home, and because they've been home for two weeks.
Is here and there, Like I'll go to the bathroom
and come back and both kids are in her office
and she's on a call and she's like it's fine though, right,
(37:02):
people get it?
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Yeah, Look, I think he did take a call the other.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Day and the guy on the zoom was just like
had his daughter like on the table, and she was
just like drawing on his face, and he was just
he was so far gone.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
It was during school holiday. I used to bring Maisie
into my work meetings when I had a real job,
when I knew it was kind of going to be
like a bad meeting, you know what I mean. So
it was like, oh, we're doing like a team performance meeting.
I'll be like, oh, oh, this is so cute. Anyway,
you're fired. We'll fire him later, fire him. You can't
(37:36):
fire him now in front of his daughter. I was like,
what's you understand what that means? Yeah, you better not
fire me. Is that how you got away with not
being fired for like three years? Yeah? Yeah, the cockerroach.
Just quickly.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
I just want to throw my parant, your personal parent
personal parant really quickly if I may.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
That's okay, if that's allowed. We have time. You're a
co host on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
You do what you like?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Polystyrene? Polystyrene is that right? Polystyrene? All right? I don't
know what polystyrene.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Por Styring is a versatile plastic that can be found
in both solid and foamed forms.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Yeah, stiring styrofoam.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Mate, Fuck that the kids love. That stuff gets everywhere
and it's a night medical because it's hard to vacuum
up and brush because when the little balls get separated,
like the moment you like move anywhere, that like bit
of air movement.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
It's impossible to capture. It is impossible. It's like like
a snow globe, right, and it's just like the slightest movement.
It's like so if you're just sweeping it, it counter productive.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And fly because it's so light, it flies everywhere. And
then also I wasn't like putting it in the bin.
This is the biggest dick. I was literally like, if
Ash was watching me right now, he would be so disgusted.
A little chunk had like fallen out of the dust
pan and onto the floor, and the gust of wind
came and I was like, I did the bent over run,
(39:00):
so I was like almost getting it, and I was like,
I was like, this is a fucking joke.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I chased it for like three meters because you don't
want to be the bad guy who's littering, you try
and do it with your foot man. It's so bad,
like chasing a plastic bag and the wind is so
embarrassed I had this similar thing the other day with
a musically bar wrapper with the kids in public, and
I was like, I saw it come out and I
(39:26):
watched it slowly float to the ground, and I was like,
I should I should do something here, I should do
something before the wind gets up. And then when I
went to do something and the wind was trying to
get it, and I'm like legging it and there's all
these mums watching me. Gross Man, that's me right.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
We are close to wrapping up Ash. Ye, but I
did get a lot of parent wins, but I'm not
going to do it. I'm going to do it next week.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
I probably want to do it next week.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Next week if you submitted your parent win and it's
not being read out because I don't think it's great.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I love them all. That's what you said before.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
It's just Ash has a tight schedule and he's very
strict in how he runs his podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Yeah, I'm very If I veer off the plan, he'll
beat me bitter. Taste your own medicine. I think, all right,
I'll go first, please things Parish.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
What can you explain to the listener what the question
segment is.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Let's not make this so come on, let's go, let's
get through this, right. This is what he's like, This
is what I have to deal with every day.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
This is the.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Way do you think your pads off this segment? This
is how it works. People sending questions. I read the question, yep,
we answer the question. Good, You're not lost. Oscar Askar
will be like, flash the tour put the toilet teacher.
First you said put it up. Now you're saying put
it down? Which one?
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Both? Genius? Anyway, moving on, Matt, Yeah, things parents would
never say this, So it's either they would never say
to another parent or they would never say to their kids,
like you, yeah, what do you got? What do you
go for me? Go give me one? Oh no, that's
(41:21):
all right. You take your time putting your shoes on.
I've got nowhere to be. I got all the time
in the world. That's you tie your shoelaces. Yeah, I
wait here, I've got one. It's like, no, we're going
to the park for me. I always whip that out
(41:42):
with Oscar. I'm like he's like, oh, just dragging his
heels together, and I'm like, we are literally leaving the
house for you, dickhead. Me in April, we would just
sit here and in our underpants and just watch TV. Okay, literally,
I don't want to be here. I don't want to
go to the park, but for some reason, they think
that we're going because we want to go where else
(42:04):
you go?
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Oh great, I'd love to listen to Hop Little Bunnies
Hop Hop Hop for the.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Whole car ride. It's my favorite. I love this song.
Yeah yeah, or just like.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Hop Little Bunnies Hop Hop Hop Hop Little Bunnie is
hop hop pup.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Of course, I'd love to play that song again. I
go on here, which is yeah, I love it when
well that was yeah yeah, I love it when you
give me no personal space, which I'm fine. It's April.
Really She's like, oh come, I'm like, I'd love a cuddle.
O't come around the loungdry and both kids are sitting
(42:43):
on her. She's like, fuck's sake, where else you got?
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Okay, last one, Well, if you don't feel like having
a nap today, we're going to skip it all together.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Big mistake.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
There is nothing more heartbreaking when you're a parent and
they skipped start skipping the naps.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I missed the nap. I miss Macy's naps so much,
that little midday break. I miss it. I want it
back so bad. Just force them into it. Yeah, Well,
at the moment she's in the car and she'll be like,
can I have a little sleep, Daddy, And I'm like, absolutely, yeah,
me too. My last one I've got here is yeah, Oscar,
I love it when you wear your socks outside. Why
(43:26):
they like wearing this sit? The bottom of the sock
is like brown shress. The other day he went out
of the front it had just rained, and I was like, oh,
for fox sake, it was already a bit muddy. And
then he stepped in dog shit on the sock and
I just folded the sock inside out and threw it
straight in the bin. Was like, that's it. I'm not
that's that sock's done for. What do they like wearing
(43:48):
socks outside? It's funny. I think it's generational because I
used to do that. My mom fucking hated it. Would
you do it the same reason Oscar does it, which
is we're dumb?
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Question here, Ash before we go, what age do you
think it's a from the Facebook group?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
By the way, Oh yeah, the group as a whole.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
An individual on the Facebook group asked the question from Shannon.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
In fact, it reads what it's like if you're like
reading it out like a politician, and it reads news
read I want to dramatize it. I'm doing it for
the listeners. This is entertainment people listening.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Was used to me, what age do you think it
is appropriate for a child to have a TV in
their bedroom? Would love to hear your pros and cons.
I feel like you would have been a kid who
had a TV in the bedroom.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
You're one of those. Yeah, look, I had a TV
in my bedroom. I knew it. Let me tell you
about this TV. So my dad used to be a
medical rap Okay, he did selviagra for a while there.
I used to sell it at school. I was a
crafty young man. And what they used to do is
(45:08):
they used to have in the doctor's offices back in
the day, was like a looked like a microwave, but
it was just a VHS and that's it. So I
had one of those in my room that was connected
to a PlayStation, but it wasn't TV. I was a
bit older. I honestly, I at the moment hate tv s,
(45:30):
put it outside, hate TVs in bedrooms, hate them so
April she's like, I can't wait. You have a TV
in the bedroom again.
Speaker 4 (45:38):
You had one in your old house, didn't you. Yeah,
but it wasn't for me, it was for April. I
hate it, Like TV is for the TV room.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
This is why people snip up that part. This is
my wife.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
People don't need like white people, white men don't need podcasts.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
No, exactly right the room. Something put some really insightful
music behind this. TVs for the TV room. I get it, bro,
I get it. I agree, Yeah, go on a hot girl. Look,
I don't think I just have to jump it when
we get I mean the pros are I could shut
(46:25):
the door and they just leave me alone in there.
I was like, they see your kids, but then I'd
forget about them.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I feel like it's it's it's isolating.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
It is isolating, well said.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
And I know I said this in the Facebook group,
but I'm just going to reiterate my thoughts here on
the podcast. I feel like by the time our kids
are teenagers, like they will watch everything on their phone.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Oh yeah, and so you know the TV is going
to be obsolete. Oh my god, are you Maybe you're
on something? Write that down?
Speaker 1 (46:56):
So I'm sure they'll be in their room just like
scrolling on their phone, and I'll be like, come on, kids,
come on watch TV with me in the living room.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
They'll be like, shut up, Dad, you fucking lose up.
I'll be like, love me. It's like TV.
Speaker 5 (47:07):
How fucking old are you? I don't even make those anymore.
You're like, what do I listen to my discman? I, Well,
here we go. Let me flip the question a little
bit for you. At what age do you think that
your kids.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Will be allowed to have a phone, like a proper phone. Shit, okay,
now we're talking. Now we're talking. Now we're in the future.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Well, what my sister has done, which I quite like,
she has given their kids a phone, right, which is
like an old Nokia, So no internet, just as a
phone that you if you need. So if they come
like home from school, right, because the eldest is like
(47:51):
grade three, so he walks home from school. It's just
around the corner. And so if he gets home he
needs to call someone because I don't have like, no
one's got home phones anymore. Oh yeah, so if he
needs if there's an emergency, there's like a Nokia phone there.
And because you charge it once and it lasts for
a month.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yeah. Yeah, and so they know they can a thirty
three ten or something.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Yeah, they called me Actually one time I was like,
who is this?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
It's like really crackly and help.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Over.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
I've got a thirty three ten at home that I
found at Nam's house. What about hang on.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Wait, how old were you when you when you first
got a phone?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
I think I was thirteen yees but it was a
different time though. It was a different time back then
the internet. Yeah, and it was like like now phones
are fucking everywhere, Like I've got a drawer full of
phones at home like a drug dealer. I shouldn't have
said that. I duped myself in there. You can. Actually
my kids are allowed to burn if you want to
buy a biagress from man literally fifty bucks for a
(48:50):
sample pack. I'm not joking anyway, but yeah, that's actually
not a bad idea.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
So I think maybe I want to give them like
a like around thirteen fourteen. I want to give them
a phone that has like call and text only, like
not even a camera on it.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
I don't want to say anything because it's that old
thing where it's like I said, I'd never do that,
and then I do it. I don't want to have
to oscar next week. And he's like, hey, there, what's
going on. We've got two phones, He's got two I phones. Yeah,
but anyway, I think the TV in the bedroom should
be ruled out for kids because it is isolating. That's
what I think. I agree with you for now. Well,
(49:31):
well it's good to be back. Well, well, well it's
good for the kids to be back at school. It's great.
Well gone, no, no, I was just finishing that sentence.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
I was just gonna say, it's nice to have a
break us. I didn't like it call me every fucking day.
I did not guilty anyway. Yes, it's good to have
a break from you, yess. And what else we got
not one? Just like I love how you just attacked
(50:01):
you Jess has been.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
And you Matt. That is all we have time for
on this very pleasant episode of two doting dads.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
And if you have enjoyed this episode and thought it
was pleasant as well, you can leave a review. Leave
in the comments. It was a pleasant episode.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
I enjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
And give us some stars maybe five. Someone in the
Facebook group said I can only give a four star review,
not a five star and Spotify it won't let us
submit when it's five stars, and I think we're being sabotaged.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Is this for it?
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah, dude, yeah, go in there and if I go
and try and live a review at a five star.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Actually, someone then wrote, probably because you've already given a
review of five stars, so you can't re submit the
five star review.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
You can only change your review. Oh so thin, doubling down. Yeah, anyway,
leave a review. I don't want to make you panic.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Sorry, I leave a review and subscribe and follow us
on social media.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Two Doting Dads Instagram, TikTok and Facebook. Great, join the conversation.
We'll see you guys next week. Goodbye, Okay, see bye.
I'm listening. I don't wry about me bro after you guys. Yes,
(51:20):
we'll be trying to get through this podcast. Apparently I'm
in a funny mood. I'm in a mean mood. I'm
a bully. Anything else you want to throw at me today, guys,
you're an arshole. Thank you anyway.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land see and community.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Islander people's today,
Do you ever hold your breath for too long that
it makes you?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We? Sorry? What you heard me? What? Where? When are
you holding your breath for so long? Why? I have
so many questions, mainly why.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Like in the ocean, you ever hold your breath for
a long time? No, and it makes you to wei what.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Just uncontrollably or just make it gives you the urge?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yeah, but it doesn't take much just to let it
come out.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Do you think it's pressure? You're on your own anyway,
get that checked. Welcome back to two Dating Dads.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I am Mattie J And I'm Ash And this is
a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
It is the good, it is the bad, and they're relatable.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
If you come for advice, Ash, just tell them.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
We got none.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Anyway, moving on, how are you very well? Very well?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
For people who may have not realized we had a
little break, we did not like Life on Cut?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
What did you they have to be? Break?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Didn't put any episodes out slack?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I know that's what that is.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I like in Facebook, and because I comment a lot
of Life on Cut, I try and like get in
there on the Facebook group love it.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And someone was like, oh, there's a big problem. There's
no episode today. Did you just put our episode in there?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And I said, holidays must be not And I was like,
someone put out an episode this afternoon, this morning.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Wow, there you go. Everybody was like, shut up. I
would like to know. Are they committed to this? Yeah,
we are. I don't think they are. Nah, they're not.
I'm going to say they're not.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah, we didn't take any holidays. No, well we kind
of did pre recorded we did.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
You took a holiday? I kept the wheels turned and
I didn't. I didn't do anything. I just had kids
for the whole holiday. We are recording this.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
We're going to let people in a little secret and
how we make this podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
The magic of podcasts.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Going to invite you into the inner sanctum. Oh be careful, okay, right,
the door is just like opened up slightly.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Come on.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, it's a jar and you're welcome to come on in,
take a seat, get comfortable. We record like a week
in advance.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh oh said that he was going to break the
internet half a red bull gone crazy. You're flairing arp,
you're flairing arm. No, but we are.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
So that's how that's how we could take a break.
So we are recording now. It is the first day back.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Of school, and I want to say congratulations to all
the parents out there for making it. I did drop
off this morning with oscar and there was a mum
in front of me and she pretty much kicked the
kids out of the car and said get the fuck
out of my car without the effort. Maybe she said it,
maybe not. I'm not going to judge and go to
school and annoy someone else.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
There were a lot of very happy parents, and I'm
sure there'll be a lot of very sad parents this
afternoon for pickup.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
They should have We should have like a party every
first day of term, just saying, let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
If you get invited to that, there's no way you're attending.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Why because you hate I'd be lit though.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I don't want to judge your parenting ass. Oh god,
I'm not here to do that.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
No good.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I'm not here to make you feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I certainly hope not.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
But yeah, you're a maniac. You're crazy. Thank you, you're insane.
I know you're doing it all wrong. What do you
mean I'm doing it oral?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You don't use the school's holiday care system.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
We do well, go on one day a week? Just
the what do you do? It's not my call, man,
I'm not in charge. I'm not in charge. And I
think we were trying to.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
This is awkward because now it's I think it's a
great idea.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
What you're doing with the one day a week, very good.
Why because I already told April you've you've shamed it
for the one day week. No, it's I think that at
the moment, we were just like trying to save money.
So it was like easier to just don't.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Cry poor to me, make him tell you know what
you're like, I know the money in your pockets.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Speaking about money in my pockets.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
We're just trying to save you know what I mean, Like,
we're just trying to script together a little dollars in
a cents because it's really tough on the northern beaches.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You're living North BONDI bro, let's not get started, all right,
Let's not get started on that. Speaking of money. Yeah, okay,
I have made a purchase, and I would say some
would say I am now a man. Now let me
just chasteurize back. I thought we were going to talk
(04:59):
about we're not talking about it. What you think I'm
going to talk about I'm bumps here in you?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
How many what do you get?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Well, last week we spoke about this toolbox and we
had a little moment during that chat we could cast
back where we didn't know what goes in the toolbox
is very empathetic and very embarrassing. So I went out
and I thought, I need to be more of a man,
and every man has what Matt, a screwdriver set, a toolbag, toolbag,
(05:29):
Brace yourself. It's outstanding value too. We'll go through that shortly.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
The suspense right now is reaching under the table.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I got the same one. Shut up, shut up, go
and get it, go and get it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I got them right, the snaptools, super tools.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
What's this a zip? How's that work?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Because it has a little ready, it has a little
black wrench set, it does bam, little black hammer.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Where is it? What else? Red screwdriver? Very good? Hey, color,
your colors are on point, considering the bag is black
and red. Put it together. So yeah, look, I thought
there's a lot of things. Oh yeah, you know, yeah,
let me just start that sentence again. Anyway, Cobber. The
(06:23):
thing is I was just linking about you're forcing it
to Yeah. Look, I was just thinking that's better. Thank
you listening here, Cobber. I was walking around the house
and I thought, there's a lot around here that needs
to be fixed, and I don't have the tools to
fix them.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So I went out and I bought a tool bag,
talking very slowly to fix them or speed it up
in edit.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Anyway, Oh, man, finally I have the same one. We're
both man, do you reckon? This is the one that
they direct Did you ask for help? No?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Because I said I own to Bunnies and I said
I need a toolbox, and he said this is the
one you want drinking This is like, if you have this,
you're a loser. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
All of the cashies, all the checkout dudes, we're like,
we got another one. Fella, get shamed on the way out. Shame. No,
that's good. Do you know what also is good? Wait?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Why did you buy it? Why did you buy the
toolbag box thing?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I recently purchased a simulator, a little toolbox. I needed
a specific Alan key, and unless a man would have
just bought the Allen key, not me, man, not you anyway,
So if anyone needs any home improvements guy.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
We can give a special shout out to Trady Dad follows.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, what do you think about that?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Big He must be listening, going, what a bunch of
absolute pathetic losers.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's better. It's an upgrade from my my tool zip
lock bag. But has it been upgrade? But yeah, I
think every dad has a ziplock bag in their cupboard
somewhere with miscellaneous tools from certain flat packs.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And it's a great little it's almost like a lunch
carry mate.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, you look good, you look great? You think I
look good? Now I watched this. I come over to
do some maintenance your house.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Oh no, my table is so wonky.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I wonder who's going to fix it? Oh my god,
he's so handsome. Yeah. So there's a few things around
the house that needed attending to. Yet to attend to
them because I was playing the simulator, playing the simulator,
But I figured, like once I do eventually lose all
of those tools. Yeah, I've just got a nifty little
carry back.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
It's we have turned into the same person.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
You're growing a mustache. I've got tools.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
It's I I did the exact same thing because we
were down the other dollar house.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Must be nice thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
And this whole time I've been here buck in Sydney,
and I would love to have got my hands dirty
ash and do a lot of the work myself on
the house in Ala Dullah, But I can't because I'm here.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And you need to be qualified to do. But I
can know, how hard can it be? Let's insult every
trading When now.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
The house is like not quite finished.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Were like, do you need me to come down and
finish it? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
So it's about it's like ninety nine percent done. There's
a couple of like tiny little jobs that need doing,
just like the little finicky ones. And we got down
there and I was kind of eyeing off a few
of these jobs and like Laura is like a light
that needs to be put in and blah blah blahlah blah,
and she's like, can you get Tom, who's a build
a shout out to Tom.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
He's a great guy, So can you.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Get Tom to do it? And Tom for the holidays?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
He went away. Tom deserves a break, he deserves a break.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And I thought to myself, I have two options here.
I can wait till Tom comes back, send him in
the email with a list of jobs that I need finished.
But then I thought to myself, no, I'm a man,
a big boy. Go down to Bunnings. I can buy
what's required. I can buy the materials and I will.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Do it myself. Okay, And how did that go? Really good?
Really good. One of the jobs.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Laura was like, I'd love to paint the garage the
roller door.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I saw, yes, And I was like, I can do that.
A bit of primer, beautiful one cat.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
One cat put one kind of primer. Oh. Just as
the primers.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And I come back and I messaged Tom. I said, hey,
I set him a photo the primer and I said,
I'm going to do this myself.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You're relieved, you're going to come back in.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
This place to be finished. And he goes, that's not
primer for metal, that's primer for wood, and I was.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Like, very good.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Oh past, and anything that I touched I damaged.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I broke. So the roller door dried and warp the.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Paint like warped the metal door so it wouldn't go
up and down.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So when you roll it up and down, you have
to like push it in. Could Tom give an explanation
to why that would have happened? Well? I didn't.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I wasn't going to tell Tom that, but then I
put it on my Instagram story and now Tom knows,
and he just messages back and goes, yeah, don't worry,
I'll fix that next week.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Let the professionals do it. Bro That's what I've learned
in my short.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, everything everything I touched, I broke.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I Now you were showing me of what we're doing.
You're showing me the camera camera.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
And I tried to move it, but then I ripped
off the bath.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Just ripped off the paint.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
And do you know how much I spent on a
drill and a little ladder, like two hundred and sixty
bus because I was like, I want the good stuff
tax reductible.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Of course it'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So now I'm sitting like at home with garage for
the tools that I don't use, and I've got to
get Tom to fix everything.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Maybe you should just give the tools to Tom and
you just take them, take the retired. How was the
rest of your trip down there? Anyway? It was good, dude,
it was good. I don't know if you.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Saw the fact that I was providing for my family
with fish, fish that i'd caught, wildfish, wildfish.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
It's pretty impressive. I will say what I meant that, No,
I did you Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah. Do you
know what I would quite like what you did with
it is when you splayed them out and there was
some lemon involved and they were getting ready to cook.
That was good. I did like that. It's weird.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's something something special about God being out there in
the wild in the ocean, just you and the elements.
I saw a manta ray thingk was fucking huge. Seen
a mandare before I was face to face.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
With a beast. Well said, well, I was. I'm a
bit scared of sharks.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Who isn't Yeah right, right, like really deep down, even
people who swim with the sharks daily are scared of
the fucking sharks.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
When I left, I was like, I had my my
wet suit half on, and to the kids, I was like,
goodbye my children, kids, Remember head, I love you.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I always will remember this moment. As you trod off,
they're like, fuck after, did you have to walk backwards
because you had flippers on in the water too.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, but I was, I was. I was in the water,
and you know, it's a little bit murky. It's also early.
It was like seven thirty in the morning. The sun
wasn't quite you know, it was beaming, so visibility was
not great.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Where were the kids at this point? Laura was looking
after the kids club? Okay, we're talking about Ponte club
after we'll talk.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
About But yes, Mandaray came out of nowhere and like it.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Was a big one. Fucking dude, it was. It was
It was like it was like a fry pan. It's
how big is It depends how many times I've told
the story. I want to say, wingspan? Are they wings
That was bigger than the table, bigger than this table.
Get fucked.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I'm not even kidding. That is huge, Like I wouldn't
lie to you, know that.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
How many times have you told this story? First, I've
been holding on to it. So imagine how big the
mantare is going to be after you've told the giant
squid that's big.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
And I didnt see any fish, and I thought Laura
is going to be so disappointed by the time I
come home empty handed, sandwich lovely, But I saw this
one fish. It's massive fish.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Drummer fish, drummer drummer fish, yeah, drummer fish. So shot.
The drummer fish got shot off, got a shot off
and right through the guts.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Nice and and this it's funny how we were like
we joke about the fact that we change our voices
slightly in the moment depending on who we're talking.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Fishman's voice. Well, this was captain birds are here. Captain
that's more pirate. Captain birds are there. Was a guy
I came over.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
You know when you're like, you can't you're inquisitive. You know,
if someone's got a fish on the beach, you want
to know what they're caught. Like if they're on a
wharf and someone pulls in, that's a lie.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I'm just walking straight past. That is a lie.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
If someone is on the wharf and Jetty and the
rod has been you want to see what they've caught.
The fish is a fish man, You just don't get it.
But we were fillting the fish, like scaling them.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
I like fill fish we are doing. Guy came over
and he was like, what have you guys caught there?
And I was like, a couple of drummers. Yeah. As
I then skipped back to Laura, look I caught love.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
A couple of drummers, and she like, because she's pregnant,
she hates seafood.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
She was like, oh great, he's going to cook it.
And I was like, you are like. Fish is one
of those things where it's like if you if you've
got any sort of queasiness whatsoever, and a dead fish
goes like was delicious, was delicious?
Speaker 1 (16:38):
And Emily enjoyed her Pony Club.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, tell us about pony Club again. Just remind listeners
and the new listeners what your kids do at pony club.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Okay, you're trying to make you're trying to make me
no position me is something that I'm not. Okay, yes,
my child has Pony Club.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So your pony family.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
But I had to pad is this because when I
say pony Club, people think that it's really bougie.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Straight away, I was like, oh you know, we've got ponies.
What it is?
Speaker 1 (17:13):
It is an old farm, Trusty Steed.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Farm that was called Yeah, that's pretty good. Now I
like that very good, very good, solid, solid.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
And the lady who runs it is she's she's harsh,
but she's fair, she's great, she's great. She's an older lady.
She won't mind me saying that. I'm sure and she's great.
When I dropped Maley off for the first time. This
is the second time Alis had to sing.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
At pony Club.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
May watches like a Barbie show.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
It was going to be real boom and they're all like.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
E questrian gear and the horses are all like beautiful
that sounds.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I was like, this is going to be great. Finally
my life is living on to what it shouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
And then we get there and the first job you
have to do is shovel.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Ship like for an hour has the reality checks.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Was like, it's going to came. I want to buy
a new outfit for my pany club. So she has
a brand new outfit and came up that she was
so excited to wear.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
One of those whip things, had a little helmet.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I'm ready and she gets there and I like hand
her over and the lady is like, here you go,
start shoveling shit, get in there.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
He was like wow, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And then like as I drove off, I like looked
at Marley standing in like ankle deep shit.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
So I'll pick you up at three o'clock. What about Lola? No,
Lola too young? Too young, too young? And also now
she knows how she is. Yes, She's like like that
I can say home to watch TV genius. Well, sounds
like a lovely trip, thank you. I didn't go anywhere.
I just got sick of my kids really quickly. There's
(18:47):
a drag one problem we're having at the moment. You
won't understand this because you have girls. I have a boy.
His name is Oscar. I'm not sure if you know.
He's six. And then he peeps out of his penis okay,
which is surprised to me, which is seems to be
a problem for us, because there's like when you were
saying when you were a child, that pea gets everywhere.
(19:08):
But yeah, you had you had other reasons for that.
But Oscar's just I have my foreskin removed, six skin,
six skin. Yeah. We talk about it every week anyway.
So he uses the big toilet obviously. And April said
to me one morning, she said, hey, you left the
toilet set up? And I said, listen, we've been together
(19:31):
for like fourteen years. Have I ever once left the
toilet set up? Could you sit down? We are no, Jake,
Oh weird, it'd be comfortable. I try that. It's great. Yeah,
I had a time I was like fourteen years. I
haven't you don't do it. I've just never I've just
always put it back down. That's very considered, Thank you.
I think it's one of the small things that's considerate. Yeah, forever,
(19:55):
I always will be a good guy. And people talk
about you behind your back if you don't, that's what I think.
I don't know because I don't. I don't do it anyway, so.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
It's almost insulting that you've been.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I was insulted. I was like, Hey, there's two boys
in this house now, and she was like, oh, yes, okay,
and she was like, can you talk? Can you talk?
There's one adult, two boys. There's two small boys in
this and I was like, she was like, can you
talk to him because this is the boy think. I'm like,
(20:27):
that's fair, okay. And I said to ask her, Hey,
can you put the seat back down when you pee?
And yeah, okay, great, no worries. And then I get
the a few weeks later, Hey, when you pee on
the seat, ash, can you make sure that I've been
blamed again now? And I said, hey, we've been together again.
(20:49):
We've been together for fourteen years. Have I ever once
pissed on the seat? And she said no, And I said, yeah,
it's called common courtesy, babe, And if I did, I'd
wipe it up nictly, just again, stand out individual think.
I think it's the bare minimum of being a human
human male. Yeah. Would I do it at a pub? No,
(21:11):
it's different on the floor.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Anyway, before I could say something, actually, I forgot. I
forgot to say something to him, to be like, hey,
what to do properly? A couple of days have gone past,
I'd forgotten, and I was busting for a shit okay,
and I fucking bolted down the hallway, bolted into the bathroom,
right down, sat right down.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
On pissh It's awful, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah, especially in winter. I was like, oh, what the fuck?
Realized and then I said to Oscarr, Hey, this is
what you need to do. Okay, this is current routine.
All right. It was set up pe wash your hand,
wash your hands. That was his routine. And I said, hey,
(22:00):
seat down. So then his routine went from not even
putting the seat up, confused okay, And then I said,
all right, this is what we'll do. We do run
through a dry run if you will for a better words.
And I was like, okay, you ready toilet? Seat up, pee,
toilet seat down.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Okay, it's it's like it's it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
For a kid, Yeah, six year old. Seems to be.
What I saw that he was doing is that instead
of adding in the extra steps, he was just replacing
current steps that were in his routine, which is really
fucking annoying because it had a knock on. Right. So
when I was okay, up, down, wash your hands, Okay,
then I noticed a couple of days going past he
was doing the Wii properly, not washing his hands, and
(22:46):
I was like, brod add the steps in, add them in.
Have you got the written down somewhere? Good, good idea
maybe to do that. He's only just learned to read,
though overloaded, but I want to overload too much. Figure
it's I.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Got to read just pissing the the garden.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah. So I'm like, all right, let me give you
the basic rundown of how this should go all the
time for the rest of your life. This is literally
a life lesson. I'm gonna give you right now. Toilet
set up, pe, toilet seat down, flush, you were missing
he was missing flushed, buty, do want to overcomplicate it
because it's not cess critical. This is a shit and
(23:24):
then go in, wash your hand with soap and leave. Okay.
So I've given him all of that and he's at
the point where he's doing like seventy five percent. Sometimes
he'll leave the seat up, but he'll flush wash his
hand so he can't put all the steps together. It's
a lot, isn't it. I never thought I would have
(23:46):
to go through such heartache as a parent, like putting
up with this. It's like, bro, stop, don't just add
the steps.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
In having a boy sounds awful.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
It's brutal. It's make him sit down with nah because
I don't know then. I don't know, he's.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Just he'll grow up to be a whimp like me anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
So I'm currently dealing with that and then also.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Sometimes to me between you and me, just but like
washing of the hands, especially when it's winter and they've
got jumpers on, and like Marley and Lola hate getting
the jumpers were like the end of the jumper, like
the little ribbing on the end, they getting wet. Sometimes
if I'm wiping their bottom, I'm like, don't worry about
(24:36):
washing it.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Okay, Well fuck that just came out of me. No,
Like I get it. Like no. I'm always like, wash
your hands, wash your hands, and I know they're skipping it.
I know sometimes sometimes sometimes I'm like, I didn't hear
the tap, and even.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Dude will not hear the tap. And I go to
my did you wash your hand? She goes, yeah, smell
them and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
No, thanks and goes feel them. Oh, I don't want
your hands out here. It's discussing. And then I've got
Macie who she'll use the big toilet. But because we
only have one toilet, if oscars, they're doing a pooh
(25:27):
or something whatever poo routine on point, just Gonna says,
and he flushes that every time. Kids love buttons. I'm
not sure.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
If I fucking flash that toilet before they get a
chance to it.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
They're like, oh, damn you. I wanted to see. It's
your evil and I wanted to press the butt on
my own God's sake. I get a great Also, I'm
convinced with the toilet, how it has a full and
half flush, same flush. Oh, there's no different. It's just
one of the biggest scams of our connects to the
same valve. Those bustards, I don't know what they're trying
to prove with it. But I'll figure it out anyway.
(26:02):
Macy sometimes she has to use the potty okay, which
is in the in the bathroom, and it's one of
those ones that has a lid so it closes like
it looks like a toilet. Be honest, have you used
it for what? N fuck off? No? I never, I'll
break if I sit on with this fat ass.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Imagine if Macy came in and you're doing a shit
in a toilet.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
But because it has closed the lid, she sometimes she
goes uses it just on her own accord, ships in,
it shuts the lid, sits there all day and no
one knows.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
And then she'll go to we need to incorporate the
toilet check into your daily routine.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
That's on you. I'm exhausted so many toilets I've got
to check. So it'll sit there all day and then
April will be like, oh, and maybe we'll go to
use it again, and she'll be I can't use it.
I was like why, and it's like there's pooh and
we in here and I'm like, who left that. She's like,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
At least it's better that she's doing that as opposed
to trying to empty it herself.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
But she tried that. Oh it just ended up. She'll
never do that again.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I remember I'm back in the day Lola being like
I'm going to drive it, don't touch me. And it's
like having a bowl of full soup and it's just
like sloshing around and you know you're gonna take me
half an hour of clean up after it.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Have you ever asked the girls to pick up that,
Like if you make them a bowl of cereal and
you're like, here it is, and pick it up and
take it? Oh? Yes, like a drunk with dementia. It's
like their first day working at the cafe and pot coffee.
It's like, yeah, So anyway, I've got Oscar who's pissed
on the seats, and Macy who's leaving fucking grenades and
storing them in a potty And then eventually we're finding
(27:46):
him like twelve hours later, and you can imagine the stench.
Thank guy, it's not summer. Oh we better snap it,
snapper out of it before summer.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Can I ask what you feed the kids for breakfast?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
This is true question. Look, Macey loves a bit of toast.
Oscar is a combination between toast but of cereals and
fruit and yah cereal. He loves rass bubbles. I thought
it was good. Yeah, they got you going.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
And then we give them do you give them like
the real like the good stuff, the good cereal, like
the Coca Pops or the.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Nah we've gotten you, as Oscar calls it, news three grains.
That's also that's a huge big fan. Macon is in
this thing at the moment where she wants a bowl
of granola on its own, no, no milk, yeah, and
then doesn't touch it. We're like four days in a row. Now,
it's not cheap, I know. I said to her, you
just asked for it and now you're not eating it.
(28:50):
What's the deal? What's the deal? And she was like
shut up.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I was like, we we thought when I was growing up,
we would have you know, your standard nutri grain, corn flakes,
rice bubbles, special k, a special ki.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Actually, if you go after give you a bowl, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
But then my mom would say you can have Coca
Pops for the school holidays. Nice, right, and that it
would go in like a heartbeat. It would just get
scoffed down because five kids.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
No one wanted to. Like, if you didn't five kids,
would be like, there's one going like two days.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
You'd have cocoa pops for like lunch, like afternoons.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Let it go so quick.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
And I and Marley was like, I want fruit loops,
fruit loops, fruity loops, whatever it's called.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
And I was like, okay, it's holidays. I'll give you
a bowl.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Holy shit, like just amazing. You know how hard when
I'm trying to feed Marley in the morning, you know
she'll have sometimes she'll do it herself, but most of
the time it gets halfway through and she like wonders
off and feed me.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Dude, straight up in hell? Man, who'd have thought. I'm like,
I get it why. Parents are like, yeah, I have
the sugar. Yeah, kid was like off, she was like
the bowl. I was like, there's none left, give me some.
I was like, oh, well, did you ever get like
on like the little packet of little cereals when you
(30:27):
go like camping and ship like that? Oh yeah? And
I was like, She'll going through one and there's always
this sustain left. Why's that funny? Because it's gross. I
liked it. You would be a shut do you want
to do parents? I do. I want to be preous,
(30:51):
you say what man, I feel like a parent.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Ask great feedback from the listeners about the new song.
I thought people were just taking the piss when they
were like, the song sucks the original one, and I
was like, ah, a good one, and they were like, no,
really like it, like burns it ruins my experience.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And I was like, so then we record a new one.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
It's beautiful, great, Hey, it's nice to have the listeners happy.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
And it was nice and short too.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I think that yeah, yeah, And for anyone who's new
and they don't know what pear rants are, as explained.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, if you've got something you want to get off
your chest, you can send it to us and we'll
get it off your chest for you and you feel
hurt and seene and relieved, hopefully or not.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I I'm going to start with and this one is
from Steph. Steph, it's great to have you here. Often
the ramp entrance to buildings like my local mall Male
is slightly off to the side of the building, and
this is how I have to enter with my newborn
(32:07):
in the pram. It seems to be the perfect spot.
For people to duck out of the building to smoke.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Siggy break.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
The amount of times I'm running with the pram upper
ramp with other people in wheelchairs, gosh, trying just like
actually like a stampede of wheelchairs and prams.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Quickly, get in, quick, everyone get in.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Sorry, Steph, I don't mean to laugh at you around
trying to roll as quick as possible because sorry. People
think this is a place to smoke.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
It is absolutely not a place to smoke. But also
smoke away people still smoking.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Actually, actually I had to I had to walk past
a building yesterday.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Oh god, you had to walk past the building Jesus
and two men smoking outside the building. It's weird, isn't it.
It's a different age, different day and age is what
I meant to say. It's age on because it's funny,
like there's way more tobaccoo shops now but less tobacco
out there gas we're onto something. I think illegal vapes
(33:18):
look fair rant I guess like it is, like there's
going to be brams and stuff walking up there. Like
we were at lunch the other day at Manly Wharf
and literally at the front of the restaurant, some old
dudes sparked up a fucking Winny Red and the wind's
just blowing it into everyone's food, and it's like, just
(33:40):
take ten steps away just to smoke a pack of
them a day. Yeah, but not like that. Where would
you smoke them in my car with the windows rolling up?
It was really trying to really trying to get that
nicotine into me, all right?
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Is that when you were selling cars or you're a
painter both the imagine the sight you after punching half
a packer when he reads in your car, and.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Then trying to sell someone a car. Sorry, I'll be like,
is it the car of the price or something you
haven't mentioned yet, something like that. That's stinking hair slick back?
What do you got? This one's from Jessamine. I think
we've had Jessamine before with the rand or something of
that nature.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
And that's absolutely fine. You can run as many. There's
no quota, there's no limit, There is no limit.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
This one says being judged for the amount of screen
time my thirteen year old has and the person judging
me is my eleven year old. Apparently he's not going
to give his children's screen time or allies. Oh wow, Well,
that's rich. That's rich coming from an eleven year old,
I mean, has no idea.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
You want to be shamed in your own house, by
your own family, by your own child.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Especially someone who's definitely uneducated in how to parent. And
also the younger one as well. Yeah, the old one,
I sai, it's like, you fucked me up? Don't fuck
o one? How do you know what I mean? Like
eleven year old butt out Jessumin. But also if my
eleven year old judged me on that, next time I
saw that kid on a screen, I'd be like, ah no, no,
(35:15):
no no, and I'd take it straight off him. This
one is from Mandy.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Anytime anyone asks if you or your kids still do something, okay,
I'm sure it's well intentioned, but when I hear the
words still, it's amplified or over exaggerated in my head.
For example, are you still breastfeeding?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Are you still co sleeping? Is he's still in nappies?
Still using the dummy? It's insulting, isn't it. It's like
when you say to me, are you still Paul? He
said it once last week when I was like, I
lived in an old five R shack. You're used to
live anyway. I get it. That's it's got like a
(35:58):
real insulting connotation about it. It's like, oh, so you're
still it's like man alcoholic. Yeah, I'm no quitter. Okay,
very good. Last one from Sarah Okay, this one says.
Now the rant is that it's school holidays and I'm
(36:20):
still working. Now bear with me. Yeah, I'm still still's
getting to work out. Still's get to work out? You
still work? Be nice not to anyway. My lovely children
seem to think that because I work from home, I
don't actually work, and will constantly ask me questions even
when I'm on a work call. Oh man, Now my
husband works from home two days a week, and they
(36:41):
won't bother him because he says dad's working. April cops
it from because they literally can't not be near her
when she's home, and because they've been home for two weeks.
Is here and there, Like I'll go to the bathroom
and come back and both kids are in her office
and she's on a call and she's like it's fine though, right,
(37:02):
people get it?
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Yeah, Look, I think he did take a call the other.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Day and the guy on the zoom was just like
had his daughter like on the table, and she was
just like drawing on his face, and he was just
he was so far gone.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
It was during school holiday. I used to bring Maisie
into my work meetings when I had a real job,
when I knew it was kind of going to be
like a bad meeting, you know what I mean. So
it was like, oh, we're doing like a team performance meeting.
I'll be like, oh, oh, this is so cute. Anyway,
you're fired. We'll fire him later, fire him. You can't
(37:36):
fire him now in front of his daughter. I was like,
what's you understand what that means? Yeah, you better not
fire me. Is that how you got away with not
being fired for like three years? Yeah? Yeah, the cockerroach.
Just quickly.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
I just want to throw my parant, your personal parent
personal parant really quickly if I may.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
That's okay, if that's allowed. We have time. You're a
co host on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
You do what you like?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Polystyrene? Polystyrene is that right? Polystyrene? All right? I don't
know what polystyrene.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Por Styring is a versatile plastic that can be found
in both solid and foamed forms.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Yeah, stiring styrofoam.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Mate, Fuck that the kids love. That stuff gets everywhere
and it's a night medical because it's hard to vacuum
up and brush because when the little balls get separated,
like the moment you like move anywhere, that like bit
of air movement.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
It's impossible to capture. It is impossible. It's like like
a snow globe, right, and it's just like the slightest movement.
It's like so if you're just sweeping it, it counter productive.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And fly because it's so light, it flies everywhere. And
then also I wasn't like putting it in the bin.
This is the biggest dick. I was literally like, if
Ash was watching me right now, he would be so disgusted.
A little chunk had like fallen out of the dust
pan and onto the floor, and the gust of wind
came and I was like, I did the bent over run,
(39:00):
so I was like almost getting it, and I was like,
I was like, this is a fucking joke.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I chased it for like three meters because you don't
want to be the bad guy who's littering, you try
and do it with your foot man. It's so bad,
like chasing a plastic bag and the wind is so
embarrassed I had this similar thing the other day with
a musically bar wrapper with the kids in public, and
I was like, I saw it come out and I
(39:26):
watched it slowly float to the ground, and I was like,
I should I should do something here, I should do
something before the wind gets up. And then when I
went to do something and the wind was trying to
get it, and I'm like legging it and there's all
these mums watching me. Gross Man, that's me right.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
We are close to wrapping up Ash. Ye, but I
did get a lot of parent wins, but I'm not
going to do it. I'm going to do it next week.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
I probably want to do it next week.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Next week if you submitted your parent win and it's
not being read out because I don't think it's great.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I love them all. That's what you said before.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
It's just Ash has a tight schedule and he's very
strict in how he runs his podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Yeah, I'm very If I veer off the plan, he'll
beat me bitter. Taste your own medicine. I think, all right,
I'll go first, please things Parish.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
What can you explain to the listener what the question
segment is.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Let's not make this so come on, let's go, let's
get through this, right. This is what he's like, This
is what I have to deal with every day.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
This is the.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Way do you think your pads off this segment? This
is how it works. People sending questions. I read the question, yep,
we answer the question. Good, You're not lost. Oscar Askar
will be like, flash the tour put the toilet teacher.
First you said put it up. Now you're saying put
it down? Which one?
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Both? Genius? Anyway, moving on, Matt, Yeah, things parents would
never say this, So it's either they would never say
to another parent or they would never say to their kids,
like you, yeah, what do you got? What do you
go for me? Go give me one? Oh no, that's
(41:21):
all right. You take your time putting your shoes on.
I've got nowhere to be. I got all the time
in the world. That's you tie your shoelaces. Yeah, I
wait here, I've got one. It's like, no, we're going
to the park for me. I always whip that out
(41:42):
with Oscar. I'm like he's like, oh, just dragging his
heels together, and I'm like, we are literally leaving the
house for you, dickhead. Me in April, we would just
sit here and in our underpants and just watch TV. Okay, literally,
I don't want to be here. I don't want to
go to the park, but for some reason, they think
that we're going because we want to go where else
(42:04):
you go?
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Oh great, I'd love to listen to Hop Little Bunnies
Hop Hop Hop for the.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Whole car ride. It's my favorite. I love this song.
Yeah yeah, or just like.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Hop Little Bunnies Hop Hop Hop Hop Little Bunnie is
hop hop pup.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Of course, I'd love to play that song again. I
go on here, which is yeah, I love it when
well that was yeah yeah, I love it when you
give me no personal space, which I'm fine. It's April.
Really She's like, oh come, I'm like, I'd love a cuddle.
O't come around the loungdry and both kids are sitting
(42:43):
on her. She's like, fuck's sake, where else you got?
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Okay, last one, Well, if you don't feel like having
a nap today, we're going to skip it all together.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Big mistake.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
There is nothing more heartbreaking when you're a parent and
they skipped start skipping the naps.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I missed the nap. I miss Macy's naps so much,
that little midday break. I miss it. I want it
back so bad. Just force them into it. Yeah, Well,
at the moment she's in the car and she'll be like,
can I have a little sleep, Daddy, And I'm like, absolutely, yeah,
me too. My last one I've got here is yeah, Oscar,
I love it when you wear your socks outside. Why
(43:26):
they like wearing this sit? The bottom of the sock
is like brown shress. The other day he went out
of the front it had just rained, and I was like, oh,
for fox sake, it was already a bit muddy. And
then he stepped in dog shit on the sock and
I just folded the sock inside out and threw it
straight in the bin. Was like, that's it. I'm not
that's that sock's done for. What do they like wearing
(43:48):
socks outside? It's funny. I think it's generational because I
used to do that. My mom fucking hated it. Would
you do it the same reason Oscar does it, which
is we're dumb?
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Question here, Ash before we go, what age do you
think it's a from the Facebook group?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
By the way, Oh yeah, the group as a whole.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
An individual on the Facebook group asked the question from Shannon.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
In fact, it reads what it's like if you're like
reading it out like a politician, and it reads news
read I want to dramatize it. I'm doing it for
the listeners. This is entertainment people listening.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Was used to me, what age do you think it
is appropriate for a child to have a TV in
their bedroom? Would love to hear your pros and cons.
I feel like you would have been a kid who
had a TV in the bedroom.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
You're one of those. Yeah, look, I had a TV
in my bedroom. I knew it. Let me tell you
about this TV. So my dad used to be a
medical rap Okay, he did selviagra for a while there.
I used to sell it at school. I was a
crafty young man. And what they used to do is
(45:08):
they used to have in the doctor's offices back in
the day, was like a looked like a microwave, but
it was just a VHS and that's it. So I
had one of those in my room that was connected
to a PlayStation, but it wasn't TV. I was a
bit older. I honestly, I at the moment hate tv s,
(45:30):
put it outside, hate TVs in bedrooms, hate them so
April she's like, I can't wait. You have a TV
in the bedroom again.
Speaker 4 (45:38):
You had one in your old house, didn't you. Yeah,
but it wasn't for me, it was for April. I
hate it, Like TV is for the TV room.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
This is why people snip up that part. This is
my wife.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
People don't need like white people, white men don't need podcasts.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
No, exactly right the room. Something put some really insightful
music behind this. TVs for the TV room. I get it, bro,
I get it. I agree, Yeah, go on a hot girl. Look,
I don't think I just have to jump it when
we get I mean the pros are I could shut
(46:25):
the door and they just leave me alone in there.
I was like, they see your kids, but then I'd
forget about them.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I feel like it's it's it's isolating.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
It is isolating, well said.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
And I know I said this in the Facebook group,
but I'm just going to reiterate my thoughts here on
the podcast. I feel like by the time our kids
are teenagers, like they will watch everything on their phone.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Oh yeah, and so you know the TV is going
to be obsolete. Oh my god, are you Maybe you're
on something? Write that down?
Speaker 1 (46:56):
So I'm sure they'll be in their room just like
scrolling on their phone, and I'll be like, come on, kids,
come on watch TV with me in the living room.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
They'll be like, shut up, Dad, you fucking lose up.
I'll be like, love me. It's like TV.
Speaker 5 (47:07):
How fucking old are you? I don't even make those anymore.
You're like, what do I listen to my discman? I, Well,
here we go. Let me flip the question a little
bit for you. At what age do you think that
your kids.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Will be allowed to have a phone, like a proper phone. Shit, okay,
now we're talking. Now we're talking. Now we're in the future.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Well, what my sister has done, which I quite like,
she has given their kids a phone, right, which is
like an old Nokia, So no internet, just as a
phone that you if you need. So if they come
like home from school, right, because the eldest is like
(47:51):
grade three, so he walks home from school. It's just
around the corner. And so if he gets home he
needs to call someone because I don't have like, no
one's got home phones anymore. Oh yeah, so if he
needs if there's an emergency, there's like a Nokia phone there.
And because you charge it once and it lasts for
a month.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yeah. Yeah, and so they know they can a thirty
three ten or something.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Yeah, they called me Actually one time I was like,
who is this?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
It's like really crackly and help.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Over.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
I've got a thirty three ten at home that I
found at Nam's house. What about hang on.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Wait, how old were you when you when you first
got a phone?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
I think I was thirteen yees but it was a
different time though. It was a different time back then
the internet. Yeah, and it was like like now phones
are fucking everywhere, Like I've got a drawer full of
phones at home like a drug dealer. I shouldn't have
said that. I duped myself in there. You can. Actually
my kids are allowed to burn if you want to
buy a biagress from man literally fifty bucks for a
(48:50):
sample pack. I'm not joking anyway, but yeah, that's actually
not a bad idea.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
So I think maybe I want to give them like
a like around thirteen fourteen. I want to give them
a phone that has like call and text only, like
not even a camera on it.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
I don't want to say anything because it's that old
thing where it's like I said, I'd never do that,
and then I do it. I don't want to have
to oscar next week. And he's like, hey, there, what's
going on. We've got two phones, He's got two I phones. Yeah,
but anyway, I think the TV in the bedroom should
be ruled out for kids because it is isolating. That's
what I think. I agree with you for now. Well,
(49:31):
well it's good to be back. Well, well, well it's
good for the kids to be back at school. It's great.
Well gone, no, no, I was just finishing that sentence.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
I was just gonna say, it's nice to have a
break us. I didn't like it call me every fucking day.
I did not guilty anyway. Yes, it's good to have
a break from you, yess. And what else we got
not one? Just like I love how you just attacked
(50:01):
you Jess has been.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
And you Matt. That is all we have time for
on this very pleasant episode of two doting dads.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
And if you have enjoyed this episode and thought it
was pleasant as well, you can leave a review. Leave
in the comments. It was a pleasant episode.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
I enjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
And give us some stars maybe five. Someone in the
Facebook group said I can only give a four star review,
not a five star and Spotify it won't let us
submit when it's five stars, and I think we're being sabotaged.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Is this for it?
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah, dude, yeah, go in there and if I go
and try and live a review at a five star.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Actually, someone then wrote, probably because you've already given a
review of five stars, so you can't re submit the
five star review.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
You can only change your review. Oh so thin, doubling down. Yeah, anyway,
leave a review. I don't want to make you panic.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Sorry, I leave a review and subscribe and follow us
on social media.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Two Doting Dads Instagram, TikTok and Facebook. Great, join the conversation.
We'll see you guys next week. Goodbye, Okay, see bye.
I'm listening. I don't wry about me bro after you guys. Yes,
(51:20):
we'll be trying to get through this podcast. Apparently I'm
in a funny mood. I'm in a mean mood. I'm
a bully. Anything else you want to throw at me today, guys,
you're an arshole. Thank you anyway.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land see and community.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Islander people's today,
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.