#162 My Wife's Biggest Deal-Breaker

Ash has made another grand purchase this week (must be nice!), and it's taken him many years to get to this point. 

He also took Oscar and Macy to a Manly Sea Eagles game, and let's just say it was a new experience for his little girl. 

The Johnson's nip up to Cairns to enjoy a last-minute holiday as a family of four before it becomes five! The kids, of course, relished every moment (not). 

We also answer your questions: 

• Is it okay to dislike your friend's kid?
• What is the most unhinged thing that’s happened to you as a parent?

---

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You've been walking around.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm not playing playing the ukulele whilst we've been figuring
out how to set up this record to work on YouTube.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
You need to relate.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Okay, you may call it hours wasted, but we have
made a huge breakthrough on this podcast. We are now
and brand new territory potentially. Don't quote me on this
on YouTube, okay, where.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
They quote me on this in case it doesn't work out.
I'm panicking right now, panic away. I wasn't.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
It wasn't a change the formula.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
We're recording in lands agape, notre if you can tell
this is recorded in landscape.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, the mics are different.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
No, it wasn't. I was just saying that we are
all productive. It wasn't a jab at you.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Let me do the introuble.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Get rolling.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Welcome back to two Noting Dads. I am Maddie Jay
and this is a podcast all about parenting.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
It is the good, it is the.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
Bad, and they're relatable.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
And if you come for advice, it's not happening. Get
over it.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Well said. Sorry, I turn the yelling into the listen.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I can tell, I can tell. I'm not sure if
it's your medication. You want to get the show on
the road.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
You're ready, rare and your.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Prime before it wears out quick.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
It's like watching someone try and put on a condom
and not lose their erection and get into it.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
I never lose the direction.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
That's a lie.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Well, well here we are.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
We've got a really big it's big. It's a big show.
Good keep going, guys, We've got a big.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Show, big, big show. Let's start it off big. I've
made another purchase after last night you skipped ahead got housekeeping? Oh, yes,
you fucking idiots. Sorry, we'll come back to that.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Sorry really forgot. Yes, we do big show. No, I
don't want to.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
We'll go housekeeping first, housekeeping because that's what we agreed
on before we record.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
With you.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
I'm not sure if you were now you just wasted
Okay what I'm just trying to get this like, we
have a schedule.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Star, you go b show.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Off the back of a story you told last week,
hit and run story.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
May call it the babysitter. Laura has been fucking nervous
because hitt and Run gate. We didn't say who it
was the name of the babysitter. Obviously the babysitter.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
She knows who she is? You know she Laura.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
I don't know if this is true, because Laura maybe
changed a few little details about the story, not like
it did a bellowshit, but just how we referenced her
and the baby, and Laura is like I still speak
to her, and I was.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Like, shit, people make mistakes.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, she like, she can't expect to not have some
repercussions of her actions.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
She thought she got away with it. Yeah, oh my god,
manage been deported.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
She's not fromtry. I didn't know that. Yeah, so there
has been some follow up. People want to know, so
I'll just run them through week water force force they
want to wish. The first question is pretty straightforward. Where
did you find her?

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Question? Did she lie about her experience?

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Don't you know who you are? Because I feel like,
as bad as it is, it's iconic for her'd.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Be a good eyes break. If you're meeting a new
group of friends, you're like, yeah, there's.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Something interesting about you. Well, one time in my car.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
There's more questions here? What can I answer them?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
First?

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Are you going to keep asking?

Speaker 3 (03:55):
Oh? You sort of answered that one? But whatever, where'd
you find her?

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Thank you?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Facebook?

Speaker 2 (04:02):
I think I think I think it was Facebook.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
I can't remember. We were searching everywhere far and wide,
except I did.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
I did decide not to use an agency because the
rates were too high. Wow, So I opted not for
the agency and I went rogue. I did it myself
on Facebook through like one of those like find a
Murderer dot com or something in.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
A criminal dot com.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Very good.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
We also got here.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Have you heard anything after?

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Have you heard from her after? Like at all?

Speaker 3 (04:33):
You said, I.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Reckon, she still speaks to her about what? I don't know,
Like do we believe Laura? Like, I don't know if
they're still speaking. I'm not sure she's fine.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
No, other families have been hurt so far as we
know that we know of. And then someone was like,
was there seriously no witness Imagine if the Daily Mail
got a hold of it.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
There were witnesses. I want to say, twenty people.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
No, she ran them down as well.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah people, how No, I don't know if people. It
all happens so quick, I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
If everyone saysn't it an accident?

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Well, luckily it all happened quick enough that no one
was able to take any kind of video evidence you
know of me? Then panicking with the kids crying in
the background.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
I wonder if there's any cc TV.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
I don't think there is along that route of the
I don't tell me where it is. I'm not I'm
innocent here, I'm a victim. You are, yes, Anyway, I
have some housekeeping for you. Oh my god, Jess has
just raised a very good point here.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Actually, I will raise this with Laura.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Don't you worry the fact that Laura follows our babysitter,
the murderer attempted murderer and doesn't follow producer jests.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Oh sorry.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
As a scene scene and no response back.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
We'll keep you updated on that one.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
This is just a little I want to say, how
do you do?

Speaker 2 (06:11):
How do you say this? What do you call when
you're giving someone like Latio? It's a community service community announcement.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
P S, a public service announcement.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
That's why you're here with me to help me along
on my journey to learn how to talk.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
It's from Heather to Heather. It's about you. We talked
about deworming. What have I done? Not you? It was
just more of a like, before you get into that
worms my kids on the.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Weekend, did you Yeah? Mason had to each you bart.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, chocolate the chocolate worming.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Was I forgot it was a chocolate one. But it
was different because you tried it, did you lovely? Remember?
But this was it was like it was like a
chocolate desolvable tablet. But even Macy like the day I
was like but literally because she wanted an all so
it must have been good.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Oh she was. Anyway, she had worms. Well done, because
if you don't worm, this is what can happen. My
daughter had to get her.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Appendix out because of worms. We didn't realize she had worms.
No symptoms. Doctor told us, Doctor told us we should worm.
Doctor sorry, doctors told us that we should worm.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Sorry. Doctor told us that people should.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Worm their kids every six months so every school holidays.
This information is not being passed up like this needs
this needs to be fucking more public.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yes, to start a campaign. There needs to be like
ads on TV or.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Like wormy kids? Are they to lose their appendix?

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Why is no one talking about.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
Do they eat?

Speaker 1 (07:45):
What are they eating in there?

Speaker 3 (07:47):
What are you doing?

Speaker 2 (07:51):
They think she picked them up from the bunnies they
have at school.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
For I one time got ringworm from a bunny where
was it? It was right there on my phone. Where
was the bunny? Bunny? Oh, my girlfriend at the time
had one. I used to pick. Yeah, she's really hard.
I was only your teenagers.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
That's one.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Let me tell you.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
After the horrible appendix removal and recovery I square of
bum worm chocolates, she's lost the ability to talk as well.
Thanks Blue. Every Holidays is a walk in the park.
I'm not sure I lost her at the end here.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Maybe Blue has a worming tablet.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
I've got you, because I would actually line up really
well for marketing dogs worm worms.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Kids.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Get it great. Sorry about the appendix.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Heather Jesus Christ. I mean it's an appendix everyone get
doesn't everyone get there?

Speaker 2 (08:45):
At some point it would be I remember, I think
this could be about Laura. Don't quote me about this.
I think she said she had a stomach ache and
her mum was like, you'll be fine. Maybe should take
this out of the podcast. And I think she'd get
rushed rushed to hospital to have her appendix out.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
I'm pretty sure it does happened. I would call.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Laura, but she's calling. Yes, you will also come back
to this.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
So much housekeeping, so much to do, we never housekeep.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
I know. That's why there's so much. I always say,
let it build up, don't stay on it, don't.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Consistently do a little bit if we're not housekeeping.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Just this is on you to tell us. You got
to remind you, remind us. You're looking at me all that.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
I don't know you all the words.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
You you have big news, the biggest news.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
It's milestone in my life, and I'm proud.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
I was like, I didn't think. I didn't think it's
going to happen.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
I know.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
I was like maybe in six months.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
We've been two and frowing for years about how you've
been at me to get in the property market. Yeah,
you know, because you've got to diversified portfolio.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
You you're so close.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
I'm so close.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Am I better than everyone?

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (10:01):
I have purchased a property. We're not a property.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
What I call it the house, call it a property,
a unit.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
It's essentially a unit.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
I want to downplay it.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
It's imagine.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
I'm calling it the penthouse. It's on it's the top level.
Love a two story, but it.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Is the penthouse.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
And my kids now have a house or somewhere to
live now.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Just okay, I'm trying to wrap my head around the
fact that this all happened so quick. One second, you
told me I have pre approval, okay, and you've said
this to me before, and then you just you tease me,
and then I let it expire, and then you let
it expire, and then this time around you have pre approval.
Next minute you're like, yeah, I'm pretty good. Mainly didn't win,

(10:48):
but I bought a property.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
What Yeah, never let them know your next move. Who
found it?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
So look, last time we started house hunting is when
I had a real job, and then eventually I got
made redundant. It's kind of like a blessing in disguise, really,
because I wasn't really worked anyway. We were just doing this.
If I was listening, yes I was.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
So we got pre approval then, but it was for
not a lot.

Speaker 3 (11:13):
We weren't going to get a lot from money, but
we wanted to get in as you're trying to do.
We waited two more years. Oscar has lived in six
houses and he's six.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
It must be pretty normal for him then to move house.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yes, and we don't want that. That's what we were like,
we want to stop it now. We want the memories, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
We want, we want, We don't the anxiety around moving,
and we every time I've moved, which I've moved like
four times of being on this podcast, every time I move,
we talk about how fucking painful it is. And that's
just us talking about how painful it It is, actually that
fucking painful and everyone knows that. So I think like
it was getting to the point where April was the

(11:51):
anxiety of thinking about moving again not for a long
time was really getting to it, and it was you
could tell that it was making it quite emotional.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Because it don't be good for Oscar to be.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
So we were like, what do y poppers two places
in worry? Would Poppers agains for a while?

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:10):
Twice? Yeah, and like then we yeah, so we decided
to do something about it. We'd waited two years since
been met redundant, so we've been doing this for two years?

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Can I just and I mean, I'm not trying to
be funny here from when New Year, because I know
it was a big question mark of like do I
throw in the nine to five? Do I do this stuff?
Make content, make people laugh? Entertained?

Speaker 3 (12:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Full time? And I was like do it?

Speaker 3 (12:34):
Man?

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Do it and look look at it.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
Look look at it now, I know where it was
funny like when I tell people this in other podcasts,
I do I what no, like when I'm a guest. Sorry,
my other parenting No.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
Ive got a secret laugh you don't know about it.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
I've just hidden everything from your life my other podcasts,
they've been a guest.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
And people ask me how all this started?

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Right, And honestly, I think it's a very good story.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
It's a beautiful story.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
It's beautiful, some would say, and like I made my
first video with two hundred and twenty followers, like and into.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
The reality of that.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
And Pete put it really Pete from the cafe. Shout
out to Pete. He got me all in the fields
the other day because he found out because the agent
is a frequent.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
Visitor of the cafe.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
And you know what these Italians are like the shut up.
I don't know what they like.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
Ash, that's all racist. No, for the record, I love
Italians beautiful food.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
They like to say it.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
They loved to gossip loudly. Now I'm getting a little
bit racist. Sorry, fuck sorry, all right, let's start again,
he said to me. He rang me up and he
was like, I didn't know that he knew rang me
up and he.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Said, I just want to ring up Toad. I'm proud
of you.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
I said, why, he goes fifteen years ago, you moved
to Sydney. Back to Sydney on your own with nothing,
but I had a bag and I lived on their
computer room floor for six months. I had to watch
them play PlayStation of all our nights trying to sleep.
I had to wake up to their old man naked.
Most of the time. I was quite often ushered out

(14:08):
of my own.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
Bedroom just at random hours of the day. I had
three jobs. What are you doing at the time.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
I worked at two Italian restaurants, That's why I know
so much about Italians and what else I do.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
And I was worked at Target. I think I've had
a lot of jobs anyway. But he was like, now
look at you, and.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
I was like, fuck, you're right, bro, Like I never ever,
I never ever pumped myself up like that. But yeah,
like from that point to now, crazy, it's the crazy
amount of jobs I've had. But then this one was
the one that it was like, I remember April was
saying to me for a long time because I used to.

(14:51):
You know, someone with ADHD working, you get bored things
so fucking easily waiting.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
For the tapping the shoulder and you're like, pretty bored, do you, Pawn?

Speaker 3 (15:01):
I was like I'd always wing and complain about when
I was doing not like that. I just wasn't enjoying it.
Nothing stimulated me enough. I don't know. We're trying to
be serious, and yeah, April was always like, we'll find
something that you love and you won't work a day
in your lafe And here I am chase your dreams.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Kids, remember that, remember that, write this down. We're giving advice.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
But yeah, I bought a place. We're moving in in
a few weeks.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
This is going to sound weird.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, but when you walked in you saw the place
the first inspection, will you hit with that feeling of
you know, yeah, so I only looked at two other
places and you didn't get the films.

Speaker 3 (15:47):
No, it wasn't like Look, I was pretty easy with him.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
It's April.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
It needs to be perfect her And I said to her, look,
I'm not going to come to a million inspections for
you to point out the little thing that can be
fixed and not like that place, because that's already in
your mind. And that's how my wife is. If she
doesn't have that feeling or like straight away or there's
something that she can't get out of me, here's one
for you.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Go on. So we live in this country.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
She's gonna hate me for this perfect this is going
to be great. Fuck it is silly.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
It's silly. So when we were at the last place
and we had the whole ordeal, I might have even
told this story.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
We're the whole ordeal of being kicked out because I
complained about something wasn't safe anyway. There's laws now in place.
I missed the laws because they just put them in
place that would have protected us from that.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
But we had to move out really hastily. You're a pioneer,
I am. Some would call me a pine. I would
you did anyway.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
So we had to hastily move two kids under five
out of this house.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Where are we going to live? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (16:47):
We had to go back to pop Us for a bit,
and then eventually we our friends were like, we're moving
up the coast, do you want to rent our place out?
Just and it was really flexible and when you find
something down the track then you can just let us know.
And it was the perfect situation. Granted, really old fucking house.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Whatever. It was nice to have a big house for
a while.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
But we went and had to look at it because
April had never been there.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
I'd been there before.

Speaker 3 (17:11):
And we left after looking at it, and I was like, look,
it's cheaper than anything that's out there. Because they're friends.
There's no bond, it's perfect, there's an agreement in place. Yeah,
but all good, and April goes.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
I was like why.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
It's like, oh, you're gonna laugh. But they had a
shower curtain.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
And I was like, I'm sow red. I was like,
I'm pulling rank. I'm pulling rank on this one. I'm
only allowing to pull rank once in my life, and
this is it. I'm like, we are not knocking this
down because of a shower curtain.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
To be fair, I can't like and I like that
about it.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Not that sticks to me. I like it about that.
When I finished my shower, I fling it so hard,
like it's like a Broadway curtain and it's slams onto
the wall and it stuck there. I'm like, I am
seen so tired, but.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
I was like, to April, we could replace it. She
was like, oh, can you. I was like yes.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
But then I told my friend, who told the people
who owned the place the story, and we're on the
phone loudspeaker. April didn't know I had told anybody, and
the last thing they said to us on the loud
speaker was let Abral know that we replaced the shell,
and she was like. I was like, oh fuck. Sorry. Anyway,

(18:39):
I said to April, I'm not going through that again.
The places that you would be one hundred percent on,
then I'll come to those ones the second inspection.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
I'll watch the kids while you go do it whatever.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
And then we saw this place through it at an
agent we knew, and we went down and saw it
and I just said to able and making an offer
because it.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Was everything we needed. There was like nothing, really.

Speaker 3 (19:02):
It's so good. I was like, I was rattled. And
my mum was over the other day and she was like,
if this goes through, this is going to have to
be one of the easiest house purchases of all.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Say that because she's just trying to jinx it.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah, But I was like, what could possibly go wrong?

Speaker 1 (19:18):
This is so perfect.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
Yeah, and then we get a call from the from
the broker. All everything's approved, ready to go.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Just gotta just gotta move in there.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
I'm like, what Sometimes, Ash, good things happen to good people.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
I know, I don't know how. I don't know how
happened to me though. Anyway, excited, everyone's excited, and maybe
yes there is.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
I am finally an adult, welcome to the world of
never ending doubts.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
A couple of years though, so I can make I
can maybe get through it. I think.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Yeah, So when do you move in? How long in September?
So we'll do a record from that. Yeah, great, can't wait.
We'll also play simulator. What are you doing with the
skate ramp? Very good question. I don't think it's going
to fit in the living room?

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Well, is it like a communal garden that you can.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Classic?

Speaker 3 (20:07):
I really want to ram soon as I got it?

Speaker 1 (20:09):
What do I do it? Who did you pay for
that ramp? It's like a thousand Bucky. I've got a
few people that want it.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
So easy, come, easy go. My news is nowhere near
as exciting as yours. Late on you would have seen
Ash that I was in North Queens.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
And another trip. Yep.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Well look I was down south down there, you were
up north and I'm just where are you.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
I'm miss spreading the web of Maddy j all across
this country. Yeah. It was great. It was great except
except look we were.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
The flight from city to Canns. For anyone who doesn't know,
I'll tell you Ash it's three hours and fifteen immediately.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
No, no, it's too far for a domestic flight. It's long.
It's long.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
It's not barley though. That's like six hours. Yeah, I'd
much rather go to the extra to I'm no a mathematician,
but it's half of that almost it yeah, almost six
And I was like, you know what, the kids actually
love it. They don't get a lot of iPad time,
but on the planes.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
We allow it.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
You guys are very good at not giving screen time.
We scaled the back, yeah, big time.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
We got into a phase where we were like everyday
kids would wake up before in.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
The morning to be like, where's the screen? Yeah. It
was like fucked Ever, I think every parent's going to
go through that.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
You got to go the pendulum has to swing both ways,
and Laura then goes and I don't want to put
this on Laura go on back, Fine, Laura goes, I
don't think we should bring the iPads.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
I was like, I was like, the hairs on my
neck just stood up.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
I was like, but why what for? It's the best part.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
The kids sit there like I've done it before, where
like I've had a nap on the plane and I've
woken up and the kids are still watching the iPad locked.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
In and well, if I'm desperate for a nap at home,
I just give them the iPads and sleep next to them.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
It's great.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
It's so good.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
So I was like, well, we've got such a good
thing going, why would why would you want to ruin that?

Speaker 2 (22:05):
But she was like no, like the kids are actually
not all the time, but off the back of the
plane trip the whole next three days, the kids are
like where's the iPad? And You're like, enjoy the fucking holiday.
We're not going to go home and watch the iPad.
I don't swear my kids. By the way, if anyone listening,
well you should. So I was like, okay, fine, no mypads.
I was like, what are we going to do?

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (22:27):
I was like, look at brought some coloring in pencils
and twos, I know, but my is into lego a
little bit, and so I was I was like, we
could we can do some lego and Lego's pretty good.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Bro, Me and Oscar are for Frothen on the Lego,
I've got you got it? What do you mean just
fucking breaking it?

Speaker 3 (22:51):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (22:52):
No, hang on one second.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
I showed you. While are you fixing that? I've showed
you Oscar's Lego collection? Wen't I very impressive? Put that
up on two dads, Bro's that's private.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
So Marley was into this, and then there was always
I don't know if you ever would ask her, but
then there was a turning point where this took almost
the entire flight to build this thing, and Marley was
like it started off where Marley would have the instructions
and I would give her the pieces required right, and
then some parts were harder than others, so then I
would help her out. And then Marley was like, I'm

(23:27):
getting pretty tired in an eight o'clock flight, so we're
up pretty early.

Speaker 3 (23:31):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
So Marley was having a nap and I was still
there doing it, working away.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
And I'll tell you what, It's risky doing Lego on
a plane because if you drop a bit, mate, that's gone.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
That's it. The little cup holder in the tray.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
I had it in there, but then I.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
Stressful, container, take a container. I should have had a container,
thank you? Oh my god? What is that? I can't
be sure what it is?

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Called?

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Just a pokemon, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
No it's not craft. No, it's a dinosaur. Okay, so
that's clever.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
It is wild what they gets missing something.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
It's wild.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
That's right, We'll find it. It's wild what they can
do with Lego now right, it's ais got to be
making those things right now. He's a fun fact for you.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
Please. Lego have actually lost the patent for Lego. Yeah,
that's to who to whom? So no to no one.
So like, have you not noticed now if you go
to the shop that came out have their own generic
Lego that fits with this Lego.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
I was like, how have they got a stranglehold on
this product? Yeah, they had it, They.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Just just lost it. Because now, Mattel, who do hot
wheels and stuff?

Speaker 1 (24:44):
You were deep in the Lego game.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Yeah, well you know, I'm a veteran, but yeah, mate,
Lego this is good, this good gear.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
But the issue was we landed. Marley kind of woke
up from a nap and was done, and she was like,
can I play with it?

Speaker 3 (24:57):
I was like no, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
Claimed then she broke it and I was like, you
I think about like she like, because it comes apart, okay,
yeah yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
And it does. But it's so hard to try and
explain to the kids that Lego, the playing bit is
the building it, the not playing bit is the rest
of it is meant to.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Be like kept like nicely.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Like that's trying to explain that to them.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
They're like, that's my only qualem is that it's it's epic,
but it's like, so I need to glue it together
so it does break.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
So what my mom did with Oscar when we were
on the when we did the cruises last year, how
can I forget?

Speaker 1 (25:37):
Thank you?

Speaker 3 (25:38):
And what she mum would do. She'd buy Lego and
a container, right, and so they would she would build
it with Oscar and then pack it down and keep
it in the thing so next time they can redo it.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Redo it.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah, missus. Wick's not just a pretty face, I know.
And it's like found the piece.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
There it is, We're complete, We're whole. But that it's
good good year. But yeah, they do get Oscar to
get so frustrated because he's a perfectionate.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
When it breaks, man, Marley was Maley was walking it
through the air terminal, air terminal, the plane terminal, the airport,
and I look over and she's there melting down because
she's like it's falling, a part, melting in her hands.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
And I was like, just pack blood and tears.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
But also they don't realize that you just rebuild it.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Yeah, if anyone wondering, I'll put a foighter on social media.
You can admire my work at Marley's work. But there's
something happened on the plane as well, which I've never
seen in person before. Is it called what's it called
on the plane? When you sit there? You remember Puddy
from Seinfeld on the plane raw dog dogg raw dogging?

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Okay, David Buddy a character.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Anyone who doesn't know the scene from Seinfeld, it's where
you just he sits there.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
He doesn't eat anything, he doesn't watch anything. He just
stares at the seat in front of him. But it
causes an argument with Elane.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Alane's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (27:09):
And I was like, that never happens until you've seen
it in the wile.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
So the way that we were sitting, it was in
the one row window was Lola, Laura, an old man.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
Then it was me on the aisle and Marley. Okay,
so he had a buffer, this old human buffer.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
This old man must have been about seventy Okay. He
got on the plane, he sat there and he just
didn't move. He just stared at the seat in front.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
And also because you know, we're handing over some snacks
and some coloring impensace, so I'm there going sorry, mate, apologies,
and then going in front of him.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
He just I was like, is he dead?

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Was he?

Speaker 1 (27:49):
I think he was?

Speaker 2 (27:50):
He didn't get he didn't move a muscle. The ladies
came twice twice ash on the flight to offer some refreshments.
You have a free teal coffee, a free water. Free
He didn't even react.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
He just sat there.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
The fuck I know?

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Was he?

Speaker 3 (28:07):
And he's not like he's chasing clout because he's what's
he just doing on his own court?

Speaker 1 (28:11):
He was he was doing. I have no idea. I
think he was reflecting. He had some demons.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, he was electing on something. There's a lot of.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Pain behind those eyes. Well, but then we got to cans,
got the cans and it was great, very good, thirty
degrees the summer year.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
I'm still raddled with the guy raw dog I know,
ID is fucking white.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
It's why I was.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
I'd go to bed at nighttime when we're up there,
going like, wonder what he's doing now, Like does he eat?

Speaker 3 (28:36):
I don't know, did he sleep or anything?

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Unless I missed it like a micro out of a toilet.
No great bladder for an old boy.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Wow, Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
I don't know how people do that.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Man, I can't. If I stare at the back of
the seat, I.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Think, I think I'm out of whatever I'm in.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
We're about to like that generation of raw Doggers' they're
dying out.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
The last one you saw one of the last one, Honor.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
It was yeah, like a bird watcher, who's like, oh
the blue crusted eagle, little book seven year old. Coca
to cans got very good. We've got cans and it
was great. Look, there are things that the kids loved,
mainly just a big lagoon.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Yeah, what's the.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Deal with this big ligan?

Speaker 3 (29:24):
What's the what's the deal with this big Every time
I say what's the deal?

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Now, my whole brain goes, what's the deal? Sarone felt
get a good run? So yeah, what is the go
with this? Just a big lagoon?

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Okay, okay, essentially man made, man mate, man made chlorine,
very chlorine for someone.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Message was like I wance s children bathing and that thing.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
And I was like, fine, technically anyone that's in there
is bathing in that thing.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Well, I was like with soap.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
They didn't write back like any questions.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
It's you know, it's it's it's big.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
It's massive, like I don't know how many leaders, but
we're talking thousands.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Talking like it's the town public pool.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
Is that what that had to be?

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, I've never been three hours on a flight. You're
missing out.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
That was a kid's favorite.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
So pretty much the moment we walked past that lagoon
and the kids got to look at it, they were
just like, I don't care what we do as long
as we're in the lagoon. And they were like, we're
rather kind of late kids, like can we go on now?
It's like absolutely not, We're going to dinner. Get the
fuck lagoon.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
And the next day They're like, can.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
We go on the lagoon then? And I was like, no,
We've got the rainforest tour.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Oh god. And then I loved it. The rainforest. I
love a tour. I love a guide. Really, I love it.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
I can't stand it.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Just put the hands behind the back and then.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
You would like, ah, like you like you're feeding the
ducks or something.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
That I was learning about the oldest living rainforest in
the world.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
Ash, there's the raw dog there, just like.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
But we had Ranger Tim and Ranged Tim was in
an indigenous man is from the area. I was learning
about his culture.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
It was beautiful. And Lola looks at him and goes,
this is boring. When are we going into lagoon? And
I was like, oh, I am so sorry. Kids are
really I'm so sorry for Lola. Please continue about the fern.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
They don't have time for nothing like two minutes in
and I was like, got another hour and a half
of this.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
Oh my god. It's when I took my road to
my kids to that village in Vanuatu, and they were
like and they literally like grow and make their own food.
They've got no electricity.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Incredible incredible experiences.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Like where are the oreos.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
Fux sake, Mac. They just don't They're just ruthless kids.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
They don't know at that age they haven't grown that
part of the brain which that has consequent. No. I
was like, oh, you're boring. They're like everyone's like.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
Like what, I think Tim took it?

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Well, he's probably had it before arranged Tim.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
He's probably had it, I hope. So what were the
rest of the cans? Locals like were great?

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Great.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
Actually there's like heaps of Brits there because there's.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
A big backpack of places big on the backpackers. And
I heard the nightlife pretty.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
People were really friendly. I thought I was being robbed
at one point because I was crossing the road with
the kids and you know, the kids are dilly dwning
and I'm like, oh, my hand across the road. And
then this guy comes up and he's like you gotta
be careful, you got to be careful.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
I was like, what accident was that?

Speaker 2 (32:28):
And I was like okay, and he goes the lights
here they go from green to red really quickly.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
He's like, let me help you. And I thought I
was going to.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Get mugged, kidnapping kid, yeah, and he was just helping
the family.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Across the road.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
Where have we witnessed the last raw doggers and the
last helpful people?

Speaker 1 (32:47):
It's just going on. It's like the final Frontier, guys.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
Very good. Speaking of trips, man, I took a little trip,
an adventure if you will, with the children solo, Da,
What do you thinking, dude?

Speaker 1 (33:02):
I was in the doghouse. I don't even call it
the doghouse anymore.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
I just called it the house.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
That's where I live. What do you do?

Speaker 3 (33:08):
It was just like a pleasant evening turned into a
night out.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
You were with what's his name back, Zach and Zach.
Zach is just a standout individual.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Oh isn't he? Just well?

Speaker 2 (33:21):
I feel like if you've got to embark on a
journey like this, the fact that Zach is there calms
my nerves absolutely.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
So we decided to go to an away game for Manley.
Oscar's never been to a big stadium before. Macy wasn't
gonna come, but I was like, you know what, I'm
gonna take her.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
She's never been to a.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
Manley game at all, so she know what Manley is.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah, because Oscar's always harpened on about it.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Sure he loves it. So we we took an adventure.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
We went.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
We got on a bus, which kids love.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
Buses love it.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
Yeah, for a while and they're like, keep stopping, that's
a that's a bus.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
I want to swap seats, stand on the seat.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
Funny thing. We got on and the bus driver took
off before mac you could sit down, and she was
in the aisle. She was like someone behind like corner.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
I was like, what's it, zach you? It was a stranger.
It was a stranger.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
But it was funny watching her like because she'd never
experienced that before. And then we catch your daughter. I
was just too far ahead. She was gone, Yeah, it's
like you chasing the shay.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
It was trying to stop it with your trying to
kick at the stop.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
And then we went to uh, we got on a
ferry after that, what it gets better?

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Right?

Speaker 3 (34:44):
We then got on the light rail.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
Wow, how many modes of transport do you want to take?

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Three? And then we got to we've got a Maxie
uber home.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
What was of the three forms of transport? The bustard
ferry of the light rail, what's your preference?

Speaker 3 (34:59):
The fairies there? Friends, Yeah, get beers on there for starters.
That's a that's a class, the vast bit monotonous. What
I don't like rail?

Speaker 1 (35:08):
What's it like? It's so fucking slow?

Speaker 3 (35:11):
You can walk faster. And Oscar was like, what are
we doing? Is this ship?

Speaker 1 (35:16):
And I'm like sorry, So we were late for the
game because of that.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
It's so slow and I knew.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
It was that slow. Is there an accident?

Speaker 3 (35:24):
No? No, I've been on it plenty of time and it's
so slow.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
It's like, is this slow?

Speaker 3 (35:28):
Whoever sold that to the New South Wales government is
just laughing ripped off because they're like, oh god boy,
it is so slow.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Apparently it was an Italian contractor.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
Oh Rich was his name, Mario Luigi community.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Sorry, we love you anyway. It was.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Torture, so you can imagine like we're like, hurry up,
hurry up, get off.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
At ram week there because it.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
Was an Alliance stadium. The road here, and then we're
running and they it's like stop, it's already started. We're
like pissed, bolting and then get to our seats. Good, great,
beautiful stadium. As you know, get to our seats. Macy's
a bit confused about what's going on because it's never
been There's people yelling and hooting and hollering and Karen
on and it was at a Bulldog's game, so you

(36:14):
can imagine the specimens that would have been there.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
No, I can't please explain.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Well, let me tell you about No, just very passionate,
so going sometimes.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Like we were.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
We went to the camera Rooster's game and the camera
fans are lovely. They were really a bit scary because
addressed as vikings. Yeah yeah, yeah, but they were really
nice people. Were you sat with the manly fans?

Speaker 3 (36:36):
I did buy away general admission away clever, yeah, but
because I was like, oh it's fine because that sort
of stadium that it's a good view from anywhere.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
So I wasn't really that way.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Great and it wasn't too busy in our section, but
it was still like I think there was like twenty
five thousand people there, and Macy's never been around twenty
five thousand people. She spent the whole time like covering
her ears because it was so loud, so loud, and
then she kept getting the ships to me because I'm
a passionate fan.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
Literally like just carrying on a little bit, not too much,
but Macy.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
Was like the whole time was just like covered up
she just ate and snacked the whole time.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
She could have just done that at home, but I
dragged her all the way across.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
And then do you know what she remember? I remember
my very first game. This is coore memory stuff here. Yeah,
I'm just saying.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Like, I don't think you remember well, no.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Probably not.

Speaker 2 (37:32):
It was a bit disappointing because they got well, yeah,
probably remember the disappointment of mainly slip ship.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
We saw my face and how disappointed.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
I saw the footage on socials of you just like
walking out of the stadium and the kids are like,
Daddy just left.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Like I'm fucking going.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
I was like, I made my backpack on.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
The back on the light rail to crawl home.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
Well, this is the thing. We were like, it's dark,
it's definitely bedtime for these kids. Like get into that stage.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
They're getting tired.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
That's big afternoon, just like the show, big show. And
then I was like to Zach, I was like, what
we should do is we should just because kids, you
can go into an uber up to a certain age
or something like that, and so we got like a
maxi uber or whatever picked us up got in there.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
We of course, I don't know if you are allowed.
It is there's a law, Like, whoa Jesus, I think
it's over too. My head off. Anyway, that was safe. Anyway,
they will promise some ice cream all the way home.

Speaker 3 (38:30):
So eventually I was like to the uber, I said, look,
we do need to stop for ice cream at a
service station somewhere.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
And eat ice cream in the car. He said, yes, okay,
that's brave.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
Yeah. I was like whatever.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Sometimes I'm like, can I blow my nose in the uber?
And they're like, no, that's illegal. But he stopped first,
which is great. And then what did you go for?
I got the kids and paddle pops, love that rainbow
paddle pop. Macy couldn't quite.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
And I couldn't.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
I couldn't really get my phone was in my bag
and stuff. I was like trying to, like, I should
have got photo of it. She'd fallen asleep with the
ice cream. Pretty much, she fell asleep.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
I check that. Yeah, she pretty much fell asleep on
the ice cream.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
I remember she fell asleep at the lunch table at Kindy.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
I don't remember.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
They sent us a photo and Mace is a bit
tired and she was full bowl of lunch and she's
like peas and apparently it happens all the time, like
kids just fall asleep because they can't handle it. To
get that checked out anyway, She's fallen asleep in the
ice cream. I got to eat the rest of the
ice cream and then she it was just like she
was completely naked like I have never seen. I've never
been able to transition her from the car into bed.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
And one swoop without them waking up.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
But I literally picked her in the bed. I literally
picked her up out of the thing. She didn't she
was like she was like old mate, raw dog.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
She was just n She must have woken up, been
like where the buddy? Hell am I?

Speaker 3 (39:48):
Yeah? I even handed her over to April. No wake up.
April took her, got to completely change and do a jarmis.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Does she still wear a nappy at nighttime? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Okay, there you go the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
Because the worst thing is you do that transition and
they don't wake up. Because Laula fell asleep on the
walk home from dinner one night, and then we had
no We had to then like get her chance to
sit on the toilet and be like wake up, like
you're on the toilet.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Imagine that and you'd be like, hey, it's time for
a week.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
She's like all right, You're like just wait. It's so
confusing when you wake up. Imagine imagine like just falling
asleep somewhere and waking up on the toilet.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
One minute, she said the table eating ice cream. Next
minute she's being held out to the toilet being like.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
The lights.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
So Mazie. She slept right through and then the next
morning she woke up and I was like, gee, she
had no idea what happened, Like, she had no idea
how she got into bed out. She literally blacked out
and like she was like, where's my ice cream? That
was like twelve hours ago. Anyway, the eventual was successful.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Well done, well done, really quickly.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
Before we go on to the segment which I don't
I don't know what that will.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Be just yet.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
But are you dressing up Oscar for hundred days of kindy?

Speaker 3 (41:06):
We've already done it, Chris Christmas.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
No, it's Friday? What what ours is Friday? When we
spoke about this, I thought that was last time. I
don't know it was the last day of last term?
Was that one hundred days?

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Well?

Speaker 2 (41:21):
Why are we celebrating ours now?

Speaker 3 (41:23):
Well? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
Maybe I don't know. We're celebrating OURS on Friday. Can
I just go to you? Can I just say great? Sorry?

Speaker 2 (41:32):
I struct then great that my sister has been through
this before. I was like, you got the costume, give
it to me. Marley's like, I want what's the costume?
Because you dressed up as like one hundred one hundred
year old person.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
That's what we didn't do that. This was like a
Fluoro party. That's fun.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
Ours is all the kids dressed up as either old
people or something to do with a hundred, right, And
so I've got like this costume ready to go, given
to me for my sister. Didn't even have to pay
for it. Beautiful old person.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
And I'm like, may this is what you're wearing.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
And she goes, nah, I want to wear a T
shirt with one hundred beads glued to it.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
What.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
I was like, No, get to work. I was like,
I'm trying so hard. I'm like, anyway, I wish we
do in Fluoro. That'd be a great thing.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
Dressing up as an old person isn't that offensive?

Speaker 1 (42:22):
I don't know if.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
I was a one hundred year old and I walked past that,
I'd be like, is it agist also there?

Speaker 1 (42:32):
This was last term. I don't know. I don't know.
I'm not I'm not keeping track of dates. Do you
us count differently over here?

Speaker 3 (42:38):
Different?

Speaker 2 (42:39):
Yeah, we have a different numerical numerical numerical system Roman.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Anyway, I'm just looking.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
We've it's the housekeeping that is just jam packed the
front end of this episode. So I'm thinking, ash, we
do have a lot of pear rents.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
We got some good question I think it's questions confused.
All right, you look different, by.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
The way, why I'm a homeowner? Now?

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Yes, that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
Everyone. Yeah, I'm going.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
To ask you a question from anonymous.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Yeah, go on, Okay, they wish to be remain anonymous
for a very obvious reason. I can find that out
right now. And they say, is it okay to dislike
your friend's kids?

Speaker 2 (43:25):
Oh yeah, one hundred percent. I didn't think it was possible.
I thought I thought kids were just immune to being disliked.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Right, I fucking hate him.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
There's a couple of.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
Kids, and there was one that I really liked. I
was like, this kid's great.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
He turned on you, didn't he? I got the ick.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
I got the ick for a friend's kid.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
Now when I see them, I'm like.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
What did he do?

Speaker 2 (43:54):
Come on, they were just bragging about how good they
were at sport.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
I fucking hate that. And then I was like, this
kid's pretty arrogant. Yeah he was five or six.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Oh, imagine what he's gonna grow out to be like.
And also also, do you know that's right? They walked
past the branch and it like just like brush their
shoulder and they're like.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
Ah, I really like that, and they for the attention,
for the attention, and I don't know if they noticed that.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
I saw what happened.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
It was nothing. It was like a feather going on
your shoulder. And I was I was like, this motherfucker, yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
He whis pretty there, and be like I'm onto you.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
Do you hate.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
Your kids? No?

Speaker 1 (44:39):
No, it's not the record, it's not Oscar or Macy.
Great kid. I love it. I'll definitely ask her no.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, look, there's always going to be kids. Some kids
are annoying. Oh yeah, but I also think that comes
down to some of the parenting.

Speaker 1 (44:57):
Oh yeah, yeah. It's like, but yeah, they a product
of their environment. Exactly right, You're only it's like a
bad behaved dog.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
The dog is only a well behaved as his owner.
That's not right.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, that's good, that's close. Put it on a T shirt.
What's with your dog? Then? Just yappy little ship?

Speaker 3 (45:14):
Yeah? Well yeah, look, Oscar could be that kid, and
they could be people out there there. But it reminds
me of like when someone tells, like when like you
say to your Mama's like, oh yeah, he doesn't like
me very much. He doesn't could like you, you know
what I mean, like that overreaction that no like, no

(45:36):
one could ever dislike you. And it's like kids, some.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Of them is just annoying. Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
And if you're a parent who even a non parent
who dislikes other kids, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
You're allowed to.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
You can just don't tell the parents. Well, let's just listen's.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
A there's a few kids as well. Sometimes when you
talk about going around on holiday and a family will
get suggested and you're looking, you think about their kid
and you're like, I don't want to spend four days
with that little ship.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, for all of my friends listening,
none of.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
You know you guys, just what we've heard, we've heard
as we got one last question before we go. This
is actually what Jess, not so much a question, it's
more of a question statement.

Speaker 3 (46:22):
State.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
Just put a question out.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Just put a question.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Sorry, it's a question, it's just a statement. It's a
kind of question. You shut up.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Sorry.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
She asked the listeners on the Facebook group, which is great,
by the way, to do dads on Facebook group three
one thousand followers.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
What's up?

Speaker 2 (46:40):
What's the most and what's the most unhinged thing that's
happened to you as a parent?

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Oh me personally? Or we're going to read read it? Okay,
I don't care.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
I didn't have anything to line up for that. I
was going to dig deep, dig deep. So this one's
from Gemma was accused of strapped the bat was accused
of abusing my children, and apparently the cops were called.
Apparently or wow, if they were it, she doesn't give

(47:14):
a fuck. They were screaming because the motel pool was gulled.
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
It's like that trend on TikTok where it's like they
show the picture of an outside house and the audio
of a kid screaming, and people were like, I wonder
what's going on in there? And it's where like you've
cut the sandwiches into squares and not triangles, and the
kids have got blood curdling screams.

Speaker 3 (47:36):
I said to Macon the other day when I cut
hers accidentally into squares, she had to live a meltdown
and I just got down on her lever and I
was like.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Does it make it taste any different?

Speaker 3 (47:46):
She was like, what, it's safe to say I cut
the sandwich.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
However, I like, now from Francesca, just to add to
the unhinged, mortifying moments, thread, please Francesca take it away.
My four year old once emerged from his grandma's bedroom,
my husband's mother, not mine. Important detail, Remember that ash.
I remember it absolutely beaming, proudly holding her big old

(48:11):
rubber massage, just flip flopping it around the living room
like it's a toy lightsaber.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
My husband was horrified and screening him to put that down.
Oh my god, squiz fire.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
And to this day I gently lovingly remind my husband
of the day we met his rubber stepdad.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
Very good.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
Oh that's, oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
That is unhinged, as was from Laura. When I was
thirty nine weeks pregnant with my second son, I got
food poisoning. I was up all night throwing up and
shitting my guts out. Lovely, lovely image I just got
in my head. Then my throwing up woke up my
two year old. I stationed myself on the couch with

(49:02):
a bowl and turned on the TV to distract.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
The two year old.

Speaker 3 (49:06):
I started to throw up so violently that I couldn't
control my bows, so I was pooping my pants on
the couch. Every time I wretched. My son was literally
on my back with his arms wrapped around my neck,
peering around saying, Mama, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
I literally was cracking up in between the hills because
what could represent being a parent more? You can't even
throw up and poop your pants by yourself anymore. I
ended up being in the hospital the next day because
I was so dehydrated. Baby was good, and after the IV,
I was able to wait until forty weeks and had

(49:46):
a second, beautiful body.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Oh my god, that is a snapshot of what parenting
is really like.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
I could be a movie. Fuck.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
Can I also just say very well read thank you?

Speaker 1 (50:00):
That was really had to put it on there. We
got two more. Okay, on my first this is from
Laurent Lauren l o ari n Lauren. I never met
that before. On my first Mother's Day, my baby.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Two months old at the time, spewed and majority of
it went in my mouth.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
That's never happened to me.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Have you seen the videos.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
When the baby is on top, They're like, that is that's.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Got to be up there with one of the worst,
one of my biggest fears.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Or next one the long ones.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I can read this on two more long ones. I'll
go this one together the next one. Okay, this is
from Francis. We were in the hospital as my five
year old split a head open by running into a
metal pole and anyway, after a general anesthetic and stitches,
we were in the recovery ward and the doctor was
discharging us. Great word, sorry and sorry, doctor was discharging us.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
The doctor discharging us came in for.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
A chat and to do the final checks before leaving.
My daughter, who is incredibly afraid of doctors, yelled at him.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Don't come to me.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
I don't like people with brown skin.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
Oh my god. I did not expect that to get Rachel.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
Luckily we were in hospital because I nearly died right there,
and then I'm like God, I was so embarrassed.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
The doctor took it like a champ.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
I've been thinking about it ever since, and safe to say,
we've had lots of discussions about the about culture and
why we never comment on the way someone looks.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Oh my god, all right, this one's from Tally and
this is the last one. Okay. I was totally unhinged postpartum.
A door knocker was at the door, which set off
the dog, and I was trying to feed my son,
who was refusing to latch but was hungry so screaming.
I yelled at her from the lounge to go away
multiple times before she left the door. I ended up

(51:52):
making him a bottle, which he scowled, and heard her
at one of the neighbor's house, so I decided to
yell her not to knock on the door of a
house with a screaming baby. Then she said something smart
about me yelling at her to leave when she's just
trying to do her job, So I told her to
get a real job. Oh my god, mind you, she

(52:15):
was across the streets. I was yelling at her from
my doorstep. I also got called a fucking bitch. Oh
my god, this is a separate one. I got caught
a fucking bitch at the zoo a few days later
because I said, can you move to someone who was
standing mid mid walkway in the aquarium area zero patients
from my answered no excuse, whoops, that's post part of hormones. Pope,

(52:39):
Sorry the post pardon hormones are no joke.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Fantastic.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
We asked, what's the most un unhinged thing that's happened
to you?

Speaker 1 (52:48):
And she's just like.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
I was, the unhinged one, the opposite. I'm going to
be unhinged very well. I think, Look, you see moms
with little babies just just trying to get by the way,
get that footpath, etiquette, hierarchy.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Steer clear of that bubble.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Hey, there's a lot more unhinge stories in the Facebook group.
If you're not currently a member, good content, good gear
in that Oh.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook. But if you've
liked this episode.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
Please leave us a review, subscribe a couple of stars.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Do you know who gives the best reviews?

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Mums Spotify Spotify Spotify Like there's lovely, there's lovely reviews
on that really.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
Hardwell, I'm so afraid. Look, I had like every.

Speaker 3 (53:29):
Time I look, there's one about me being like.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
The only the only bad one. I think they even
said like the swearing stopped or.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Something, and they want to back.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
Well, but yeah, subscribe reviews.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
We love it and that's it, I guess, so I
think we'll go Okay. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the
traditional custodians of country Throughoutustralia and the connections to land,
sea and community.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today