August 19, 2025 • 46 mins
Apologies in advance for the renovations! Don't be alarmed if you hear them in the background.
Laura, Matty J's wife, has activated "nesting mode" which could mean one thing - baby is arriving soon.
Meanwhile Ash is wrangling the kids before jetting off to the USA for a top secret job.
We also get into your Par-Rants for this week, where you air out your parenting grievances.
We also answer your questions:
- What do I do about my adolescent child and their peach fuzz!
- Who is the disciplinarian in your household ?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Can I send you that chicken pie recipe?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Oh? I want that. That was de lightful.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
You know, it's going to blow your mind the fact
that there's no cream in that.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
There's no cream in it. It's milk there it is, mate.
Mike makes a chicken pie too, chicken and avocado pie.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Chicken what.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, it's it's delicious, but it's got breath in the thing.
I had to have a nap like immediately after.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
No milk, bit of flour. Delicious.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
That's great. Did you the pastry.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Open? It's pre made, premade just on top of the pastry. Yeah. Anyway,
where were we?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Congratulations on the pie.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Welcome back to two noting dads. I am Maddie J.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And I'm Ash.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad, and look Ash, I dare say
we may have some new listeners because I have infiltrated. Okay,
I couldn't. I couldn't tease tactics because I don't want
to blame you, the listener. We trust you. But we
(01:20):
have been working on getting in behind the scenes at
Life on Cut for a while now, pretty much since
we started.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
We're in there somehow, And I did.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
A post where I was like, hey, everyone in the
life on cut Facebook group, do you want to come
and join our Facebook group at two doting days. The
thing is I had to get Laura to approve the post.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Did you hack her phone too? I prove it.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I put her to sleep. I had to give her
a half an hour massage and then and then no,
she wouldn't even like foot massages, just.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Like to wash them, just likes to wash them in
the Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Little shoulder ub gone there. We now have an extra
two hundred man.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Makes all the difference. So welcome.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And they may be here listening right now, let's hope.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So if they're not, Yeah, we'll see you on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
We'll keep working, We'll keep working. Ash. We need to
do some housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
You love housekeeping now and I'm liking it at the
front end. It's new. I feels like a new segment
to me.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It pretty much is a new segment. This place is
a many song. Yeah. Also, I feel like the poor
builders upstairs a working slaving away. They are having to
go back and forth to the car outside. You may
hear their footsteps, they may talk, they may join us
(02:40):
on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
They might yeah, cup on your co hosts, but.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Don't be alarmed if you hear them walking through the
background or if you see them back and forth. Here
we go, right now?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Where what that was? Quick? How did you get by
me without me seeing.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
The drill.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Ghost? I didn't even see him. He was quick.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, it's hard hard booking in trades. You know that.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
I do.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I do know that. What else we all do for housekeeping?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Apologize for the trades? Birthday?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
It is my birthday today, thirty five years young.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I forgot.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
You did forget again?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
What's going to hold?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Very good? Good timing? Thank you? Yeah, you did forget.
You called me. I was doing a pooh, I was
doing a pool.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yes, we spoke about credit to Jess did the post
on the and the Instagram page. We spoke about that.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I thanked you in that story post, but I really
was only thinking Jess.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I thank Jess. And then after Jess and I spoke,
I then called you to bring the trolley and then
I forgot Jess and I forgot. I called Ash to
be like, hey, don't forget bring that trolley over today,
and he was like.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I know.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I said, happy birthday, bro, and he was like, oh,
that's all right, I apologize, that's right.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
April forgot too. Oh no, she didn't forget. She went
to the gym. She came home. She was feeling really
nauseous and she was like, I was having a little lion.
Kids were playing and doing something and she like rushes
pasts like you're gonna have to get up.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I feel sick.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I was like, oh, fuck, so she's got squirts anyway,
then she come to squirt. No she does. Sorry, babe,
what would she we haven't we haven't pinpointed all this.
And when she's come back into the room and she
was like, then proceeds to tell me about all of
her bowel movements over the last forty eight hours.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
She would absolutely hate that you're talking about, Well, you
forget my birthday's walking happen.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I played it cool to her because I was like
laying there, may see while she was talking, and I
was like interrupting her on purpose. April person like may see,
and she was looking at me like what are you doing?
And I was like, come give your dad a birthday cut,
and she was like I was may She's like, I'm sorry, sorr,
Im like, don't apologize.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Was she like mid squirt while she realized.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
No, she'd just come back, but she was mid sentence
about squirt.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
And you're like, don't give me a cuddle after you've
been lifting your gut to the toilet.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Don't know a shower. But yeah, it's cool, it's good.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I have another gift, love, I have another gift.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
All of my kids, All of my kids. What am
my Nick Cannon? All of my kids. They gave me
everything yesterday because obviously I'm all going away to say
I was only going to see him this morning. We
had lunch and stuff yesterday. And they're just the worst
at keeping secrets.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh, they can't help it.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I was like, she gets back in the car from
the restaurant, and I cannot express enough and I'm probably
gonna regret this. I cannot express enough how much I
hate going out to dinner or lunch for my birthday,
just in case the cake pops out in public.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's the worst.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And I'm like I said to April very early on
our relationship, I said, if you ever get someone to
sing me Happy Birthda at a restaurant, this is over immediately.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And she was like, well, now is not a good
time because guys come down please be acapella.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
So yeah, we did that and then we get in
the car and I was like, oh, I can't wait
to go home for cake. I'm like, so you got
me a cake? And he's like no, oh yeah yeah. Anyway,
that's good. Good day. Yes, yesterday was my family birthdays days. Mate.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Well mate, it's about to get even better because I
have a very special message that I can show you
on the phone. Up, hang on a second, who is it.
I'm not going to tell you. Okay, Yeah, it's hard
hard to get this message. Wow.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Really let me work for it, Okay, before or after
his latest concussion, I.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Made it stoke a boy vach year. I just wanted
to wish you a happy birthday, mater. Thanks for your
support of the Mighty Seagulls. We really really appreciate it.
Obviously loved trying that buddy hot chili fake of whatever
it was off you a few years ago.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Anyway, mate, now, thanks for you support. Really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Mate.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Keep the funny videos coming and go to the Eagles.
Go on your mate, I have a great birthday.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
That's amazing. Thank you so much. That's awesome, man. How
did you get that.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I don't want to go into too much detail now.
It was hard. It's hard because he didn't reply to
any of my messages. So I required a favor from
another co host of Yours, Aaron Woods.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Oh you went? You went the longest way? About that
because just called Pete from the cafe. They're like best mates.
Oh really, but I appreciate it. I love that. It's
going definitely going off on my socials for sure. So
thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I first spoilt you.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
You should be spoilt because you're a great guy.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Do you want to know what I forgot me? And
the kids got me? Absolutely, they got me a three
hundred dollars lego set. I'm a child. What an F
one car? It's amazing. Can't wait to build it.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You are an interesting young man.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I know, thank you. I atually I really like that.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You really are.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Whenever I try and put you into a box, I
jump out of it.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It was funny as I got home and I was like, lay,
I had a really bad back from the aeroplane, and
I'm like laying on my back and I literally was
building the lego on my back, and I was like,
this is the weirdest thing to watch. And I was
like April.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
We messaged April Ring like what does Ash want? And
She's like, I don't know. I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'm more of a gift giver. My love language to
people is giving people things.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
So I just had to ask the builders to turn
the music off. I just I was like, Ecofellas banger,
if you don't mind, it's sitting on the radio for
a second.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Anyway back to it, Hey.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Housekeeping, Oh god, there's a lot. Sorry, I'm just trying
to get through my notes. Nana is away, yes, right now,
I'm out of breath. A few people have asked, does
Nana still live here?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I didn't realize. I've not put her on my socials
for a while, and people are like, is she still alive?
Can confirm Nana is still here. She's on a cruise.
I don't know where she's gone. There is a photo
that I'll show you. She's with six other seventy year
olds and she sent a photo of them all at
dinner and I was like, oh my god, it looks
(09:22):
like a retirement home dinner. That all's like ancient.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Ah, they haven't a swinger's cruise again.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh we did that in the family chat.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Your mom does look good for seventy though.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Relax, well, chill.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
If I wanted to be cool, you disgusting, I would
have used disgusting language. Thank you. I didn't thank you
very appropriate mature language.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
But the day she left, she left on a Thursday
last week, Friday morning. I don't know how this happened.
She's in charge of the food pretty much in the house. Yeah,
so she like she manages stock levels of the food.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
She's a stock repacker.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
She left on a Thursday night. To my knowledge, fridge
was full, the pantry was full, and I swear to god,
Friday morning, woke up, no milk, no cereal, nutral grain.
Everything is like crumbs. I was like, the kids are going,
what are we going to eat? The place was empty.
(10:24):
The laundry, it's a mass is piled up. How you
got for She's back this coming Friday. Thank God?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
To be starving by then. Yeah. Look, whenever we wake
up and I've forgotten to get bread the next day
and like the kids love totally. No man keep bread
in the freezer.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
House kimming continues. You're off this afternoon specially to La,
who are you shooting with? Who is it?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I'm actually no, Lass.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Oh, for god's sake, I'm not allowed to say, well, fine,
that's fine, we'll see it.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So it's a very high level NBA player, x nbl
L player, NBA players, and we'll figure that out. There's
heaps of them, but you'll know he's got a personality.
So is it tall?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You have some other news?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, which.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
This may be the beginning of the end for us.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
How why because.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
There's a little bit of tension in the air.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Is it what I didn't know you felt like this?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Yeah, I mean I'm not sure how to bring this
up with you. I feel like this is a bit
and genuine sadness, because yeah, it's it's a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
It's awkward. It is very awkward for you. Maybe not
for me because we.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Didn't realize it, but we went for the same job.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, we wouldn't have even known until I was like,
I just had this meeting with these people and you're like, yeah,
that means certain. I was like, well, good luck.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
There is a TV show and they needed a funny guy. Yeah,
and I was up for the role.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
The yep, this is awkward.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Now and we can't tell you what the show is nope,
Ash When does it come out?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't know, but I will be on Saturday nights
seven point thirty Channel seven as bad as much as
I can say.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And then I got the call to say I didn't
get the job.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Who called you? Our manager?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Do you share the same manager?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
It was funny. I spoke to you first and just said, hey,
I just want to let you know I apparently got
this part, and you're very supportive as I would be
for you. Oh my god. Okay, okay, And then she
rang me back, well, she rang me back yep, and
said I've just got a call Maddie and telling the
bad news. I said, don't worry, I've aready done it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Wow. No, I just you know, when I first met you,
I brought you into this world of media, you know
I was I was training you up a little. Did
I know you would turn around and stab me in
the back?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Stab you in the back?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:11):
What am I going to do? Relinquish the job?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
No?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Actually I would have thought you would have replied and
said to them I cannot take the job because it
would ruin the relationship with Matt that's what I would
have done.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Well, you thought wrong. Look look honestly, it's just fair competition.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Man. Now that you've got a mortgage, yeah, I've got
a mortgage place.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, but we'll see it could be flown.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
No congratulations, I mean I hope it is.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Oh my goodness, your true colors are really showing. So
do you know? It's funny though, when I talk to
people about it, I always throw that I beat that
out on this one, and then I was like, yeah,
I got it, got one out of all of the
other jobs.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Turning the knife now and sorry, you just may as
well spit on me when I'm in my grave. As
long as you're happy. As long as you're happy.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
You wish i'd spin on you.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
More housekeeping. Well, this is just awkward now, Ash is
an assholes on my notes. Lola got a new fringe.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Tell me about this fringe? What sort? Is there a
name for it? Like a particular type.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Jess, I'm going to look at you. Is it bangs?
Is that bangs? She doesn't have banks. It's a fringe,
isn't it? Is it like a thea? Is it like
a like a level? Like a level. It's kind of
like a bit to the side.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, like like the Veronica's had back in the day.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, like I used to have that. Shout out to Carla,
who is a good good friend of ours in our household.
She's a makeup artist who also has the ability to
cut hair very good. She cut Marley's fringe back in
the day and she was over giving my hand looking
after Lola. I had leave the house to go get Maley,
(15:01):
and in that time period it must have been about
five minutes, I missed my phone, like I wasn't checking it.
I looked at my phone, lots of messages. Fringe was
thrown around a number of times, and I came home
and there it was hair on the floor, Lola looking
at me with a fringe, so Nana. Nana had taken
it upon herself to green light the fringe. You don't
(15:24):
like it, no, I do. Well, it's a very good question.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It is hard to be like, I've known you with
this hairstyle, so your whole life, yea, And then you
come home and you're like, who is a child?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
It's like a different kid. I look at long and
I'm like, I don't even know you anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Gotta be careful with fringes. And this is why I
say that my mother in law, who I loved very
much and I respect very much, I say that before
this comes out of my mouth. She has a fringe. Yep,
since same fringe since she was a child.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Well that's the thing. I'm like, will will.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
This be it? And I always say to April g
dodge this fringe.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Marley, Marley was growing out of the fringe. She wanted
to back now, and then she's gone back to the fringe.
She was like clawing out of the like the trenches
of fringes, and then now she's smack bang in the
center of that crater.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
It must be nice to have options, though. Actually they've
got options to grow different hairstyles. I've stuck with the one,
which is just either too much hair and you can't
do anything with it, or bald shaved.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Not far off. But people of people had messaged and
they were like, you didn't even announce the fringe. She's
just all of a sudden on your socials with a fringe.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Do you have to announce your child's fringe?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Well, apparently you do. I didn't realize it was required
to be announced, but yeah, so that's why I'm announcing
to you.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
And we're announcing to everyone else's.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Listening in case you come over and you're like, who
is this random four year old? And I'm like, that
happens to be Lola with a fringe.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Wow, I can't wait to see it actually, because it's like,
I know, like with Oscar cutting his hair when it's
really long, it's like it to be like a like
a latchkey kid, and then when I cut it, he
just like looks like a different kid. It's wild. So anyway,
congrats on the fringe.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
How are you, my friend? We're good, By the way,
that's housekeeping finished? Oh all good, I finished the housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Thank you. It's over.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Don't talking about how clean it looks.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
It does look clean. It's awkward it looks clean.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Don't sit down anywhere you make a mask.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Okay, all right, let's move on. How am I? I'm good?
The family were sick the last couple of weeks, sucked down.
We can't go this whole episode. You like this? Why
how do I make it better? You're got to be
a star. Anyway, So about of sickness. Oscar was had
a couple of days of school, which is never which
(17:41):
is never good. As a builder passes me.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Shout out to the tilers doing a great job upstairs.
Keep it up.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I've lost my training though. Sorry. Yes, so everyone's sick.
You know you're dying. We're all dying. Yeah. Oscar was
particularly sick, like really bad cough. This time of year.
He usually had was creep or whatever, but it was
like really really bad. Ski kept him at home for
two days at the back end of a week, which
is fine, it goes into it.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Can I just say, I'm very sorry that you guys
are experiencing this.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
It's brutal. It is brutal time.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
No one deserves this.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
No, everyone's at school back now we're on the mend,
and that's the main thing. But Oscar was crooked for
a few days too. It was like he needs to
see a doctor, you know, like usually you can rest
it out. And also kids don't understand when they're home
to rest, they need to rest. Come back out to
the living room in Oscar's fucking got an obstacle course going.
I'm like, Jesus Christ, come on one a way, you're
still sick. We had to go to the doctor and they
(18:31):
said you need to do the like the influenza test
and stuff like that, which is the same as the
old COVID test which does them all and just the flashback.
And I was going to ask you, do you remember
having to give Mali or Lola a COVID test back
in in the middle of the pandemic, because it's such
a weird sensation up there up there, even for an adult.
(18:54):
Because we had Macy like in the mix of COVID.
There was a lot of testing going on because at
the hospitals and go to different appointments, you've just got
to test every second day. And same with Oscar, and
it was such a nightmare because.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
It depends on who you went to. Sometimes they were
very delicate and they're very gentle, and then sometimes I
was just like, you know, the night on the back
of a horse with.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
A what's it called that sword, a jousting stout. So
I'm talking about the one at home when you do
it at home yourself to get the negative so you
can be like.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
It's so hard to know how deep to go in.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, that's what she said.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
God, you're terrible.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Okay. Anyway, I just remember having to do with Oscar
and he wouldn't he refused, so I had to remember
having to pin him down to do it, and it
was traumatizing because he'd be like you know when you
put like medication in a dog's mouth and you hold
their mouth try and get it and they're like flying around.
That's what he'd be like. And I'm like trying to
poke this thing up his nose long enough.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
It's a two man job as well.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I know. I remember once April had his arms and
legs and I had I had his head between my
knees and I was like, oh my, I.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Was like just like full red, like fire eyes.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
And it's because I know the feeling right because we
had to do it too, but because we were adults
like but he was just didn't understand what was going on.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And then the next second you're like, get bring it in.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, it's like you can't leave the house. Unlet's we
do this.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
One second you're torturing them. The next thing you're like, we're.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
All normal again. Anyway, So we had to do that.
But this one of the new ones. Have you seen them?
It's good at all? So, which is good, which is
handy because.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
It's like like a bingo card.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Or yeah, thankfully he was negative in the whole lot.
But it just got me thinking about that. Thank god,
thank goodness, thank goodness. But it just got me just yeah,
remember you.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Keep saying you want to have another pandemic. You love
every time there's like a massive like bird foods coming
back in China, you're there your mouth like salivating.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I'm promoting it. There was someone that actually died of
about infection in Sydney, and I was like, here we go.
They definitely put him down. They were like, we don't
want anything to spread.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Let's just get rid of this family. Probably listening, they're
probably listening right now. Well, probably you should have known
better than they eat a bat. Let's be honest. A
bit him did it anyway?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Anyway. Anyway, So we're on the end and that's good.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I just want to give a little update on how
things are going with pregnancy number three. We are on
the home stretch.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
You gont to be a dad soon, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
It feels really really really strange, like, yeah, dad, Matt
with a newborn to me is completely raised from my
memory to go back there, it seems so yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I don't know. Like Macy sometimes she'll PuO in a
nappy in bed because she saw it was a nappy
in bed and I'm like, so last night was one
of those nights and I had to change the napping.
I'm like, I thought I had moved on from this.
You're going strained back, dude.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I know, I know. It's weird. Even now, Laura will say, oh, Popp,
he's really wriggling around. Do you want to a feel
put my hands there? And I'm feeling these kicks coming
through and I'm thinking, God, and like less than seven weeks,
six weeks by the time this episode comes out, I'm
going to have you in my arms. It just blows
my absolute mind. But upstairs, I gave you a few
(22:25):
messages on the weekend, by the way, about you're going
to take that couch? Oh yeah, yeah, because Laura was
like it just clicked into gear. She's like, we need
to get this place ready now.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
It's funny. I think you put a story off over
the weekend, but it was it wasn't obvious what you
were doing, but I decouraged it pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
We did four bags to the Salvos and she was
also like, when is Ash going to take that couch?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
And I was like, well, he only.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Said yes, and then you're coming over. You're going straight
to the airport after this record. And I was like,
I don't think you can take it. Tick it in
after the record, and she was like, put it on
face marketplace now. I was like, can I just give
like ash a week to pick it up?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Just a word of warning.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
When you come back, you have one week to collect
that couch, otherwise it is gone.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
That is not fair. Well, dude, I'll call off.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
You tell Laura I will, and you complain because we
now need to get that room.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I guess set up. I'll work on.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
We don't have anything. We don't have we don't have
a pram, we don't have baby clothes, we don't have bottles,
we have nothing. We don't have anything. We have a crib.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You've got a couch forgot the other day I was like,
I was like trying to go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I was like, again, dude, I know. And even to
top it all off, just when I'm like, gosh, this,
there's going to be a lot on my plate right now,
Laura has thrown out the fact that on the chopping
block right now is the name Poppy.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
You're not allowed to change it. Because I have a
bet going with April that you won't and I'm going
to be very upset if and I heard on their
radio show that.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Is she talking about on the radio show? What did
she say?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
She's like, it's sort of losing. It's like not no,
she was like, you know when you're like.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
It's losing, it's white sparkle.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, a little bit like not know not as that
Like they were talking about do we continue with it?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
You know?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
What do you think? Be honest? Were we too premature
with picking the name?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Absolutely? But I've put I've put it, I've put my
neck on the line here saying that I won't change it. Yeah, well, Apia,
it was like that they're going to change it. I'll
change I have a feeling that they'll change it. And
I was like, they're not. I was so sure of
it that I was like, Oh, put a little wager
on on it, because why not. It's a bit of fun.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
What's the wager.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I can't remember what she has to do for me
if I win, but I know that if she wins,
I have to go attend a gym class with her.
Oh my god, that's not confident.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You're going to CrossFit high rocks.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna fluff my
way out of it somehow, but yeah, don't change it.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
But it's not up to me. It's it's the boss,
very true, it's the boss. It's what she wants to do.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
So what I need to do is convince you to
keep it, convince her to keep it.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
And I think I don't know if it's helped or hindered.
But we watched Trolls on the weekend and Queen Poppy
Princess Poppy, and I think that gave her the yck, right.
I don't know. I feel like I just need a
good Poppy to come in front of us to really
just like lock down, just that Poppy is a good thing.
(25:40):
I need to have a good person attached to the name.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I love the name.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
They're good.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
He origionally said you should call it muffin because that
is cute. But it's more of a dog's name or
a cat or a pet of some description. But Poppy,
love it, Love Poppy.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
What's the middle Wigan Poppy, Pearl, Poppy, Pearl Johnson, I
love it. I'm trying to find a famous poppy.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
While you do that, and I'll keep talking to the
listeners really quickly. Have you thought about godfathers?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
No, we don't have any god parents?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Would you like one?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
What do they do? Again?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I don't know what they do. If if there was
a horrific accident and you lose your lives and the
kids need I guess another adult in the lives, that
becomes my responsibility. Who are to be elected?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Who are the god parents of your children?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I don't have any?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Okay? Can I just? A god parent, also known as
a godfather or godmother, is someone chosen to guide and
support a child, particularly in their spiritual development within a
religious context. Really, while this role has historically included assuming
parental responsibilities, the parents pass away, this is not a
(27:02):
legal obligation. Instead, godparents act as mentors, role models, and
sponsors of their child's faith journey.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
The movies were definitely not like that. It was way
more violent than that. So I retracted.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Do you think being a godparents related to the movie Godfather?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Isn't that right? Are you? What do you mean? Wait? No?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
WHOA hang on a second? WHOA hang on a second?
There is a movie called the Godfather, you know, absolutely,
but that's not in relation to like being a godparent.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Isn't it?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
What isn't that? What he isn't that? I've never actually
seen it.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Do you think the Godfather film is based upon a
godfather parent?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
I just thought the Mobster was the godfather of all
these people. Okay, I don't like being made fun of.
That was real and now I feel stupid, So thank
you a little bit. Okay, well, now I've rethought my
whole thinking. Go on, I still want to be the
(28:09):
Godfather if that means like an off people. Okay, you
have throw a lavish wedding.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Do I want Poppy to be mentored by you?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Ash Wicks?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, Oh I am the great mentor.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Come on, we start a taker of many different industries.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
That's good. I've got experience.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
What can you offer?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Not a lot? Look, I am a dad already.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Okay. If I announced you as Godfather.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I will own that title till I die.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
What's the process? Is it just like you are the Godfather?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah, it's just like you need to announce it.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
I want to call Laura right now. I can't make
this decision without her input. I need to call it.
I can't call it right now because she's doing a
podcast record. Can I leave it, leave it with you?
Can I let it marinate?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah? And I think, I think, yeah, if I need
to be interviewed for the process between you and Laura,
then I'm happy to do so.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
There we will have to be some type of like test.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Oh yeah, for sure. I thrive in that sort of environment.
Do you know, Matthew, it's time for a segment called parant.
I want to be pree you say, what, man? I
feel like a parent?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
May I just jump in front of you really quickly? Okay?
This one is from Julia. She sent this one over
the weekend. Julia, thank you for following us on Instagram.
At two Dating Dads, she says, parant please and brackets
love the pod. I'm three months into the trenches of
two under two. Obviously finding activities to entertain my toddler
is challenging. But the two seconds she sits in the
(30:05):
sandpit and gets covered in sand is not worth The
sand she brings back into the house and the full
outfit change that follows.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Sand is the worst I did that video. Remember when
I was like sand in the shoes, stand in the shoe.
I turned him upside down and shook him a bit
and only sand comes out of orifices. I didn't know
he had like pockets and.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Also does ask to have a sandpit at school?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
No, no, thank god, I know, I know. This was
just like a two minutes at the park. Now do
you know what it was?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
He walked through.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
The sandpit to get to something else he wanted to
play with and it pretty much came home with BONDI
beat Nightmare anyway. Sarah says she spelt parent wrong, so
that's good. Don't attack the listeners, bro shit Well if yeah, whatever,
we actually we spelled it wrong. If anything, this is
from Sarah when the grandparents leave on a nine month
(30:59):
trip around Australia and just expect I'll stay at home
and look after their grandchildren. So selfish. Oh, I don't
know what we do with that.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Frank, Mum's gone for the week and I'm like, when
will it end?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Sink the ship? Get it back here straight away from
the next flight. Someone I saw the other day someone
said it's so funny you become a parent and you
start asking your parents if you're allowed to go out again,
like at at night?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Yeah, do you think you'll be a hands on grandparent.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Oh no, I'm sawyer. No, I probably will I say
that I'm a soft to your heart? You know that,
you know you're cold hearted? Cold hearted? Job Still. This
one's from Lorrie Laurie Lourie. I can never pronounce people,
all right. Other parents at the playground let their kids
(31:52):
be absolute menaces, pushing, hitting, screaming, etc. While they sit
there with their mates having a cold beverage, turning a
blind eye to their child's behavior.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
You know where it really pisses me off. There is
a little park, an indoor park at the pub at
Clavelli Hotel. It's very narrow, okay, and it's more of
like an obstacle course.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
We've got one of those.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
And it's like there's no real option to play in
this little indoor park except like you start at the
start of the ob school course and you work your
way through and there's like the slides in it. And
there's boys that I don't want to attack the boys
here I go on, but like the little ten year
old boys and they're just Jack is in there, Jack
and Billy. They are just turbo turbot. And I remember
(32:41):
Marley and Lawler when they were little, they were younger
and they were, you know, like slowly making their way
through there and they're getting bowled over, and I was like,
I'm going to knock these kids' heads off.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
The worst thing about that sort of type of playground
is when that happens and they get bolder because you
know there are little kids in there, and then you've
got to go in to rescue. I don't fit and
it's like try and explain to a small child who's
hurt that I can't get in there because I'm I'm
too fat to fit in there, and they just don't.
(33:10):
They're like so kiddy. It's like, and I have climbed into.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Some before and got stuck, So yeah, how many beers
did you have before you climbed in?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
But it's honestly, I cannot stand Actually just on that
really quick.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Here he is, what do you got for me?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
This just happened on the weekend. I went I went
to Melbourne for a lunch. Okay, I'm in a nice
restaurant with people having a lovely time.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I just ask you went there for lunch and you
came back a day later.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
My flag were canceled. I've got receipts I got canceled
but anyway, I'm having a conversation with someone like across
from me like this that having this conversation, and you know,
like like something shined in my eye, like you know
how when someone gets a mirror and shines the light. Yeah,
(34:00):
I felt that. I thought I must have just been
a passing car hit the sun perfectly. What about that?
It happened again? What the fuck is going on? And
I looked over to the corner and then the table
on a corner was a family and their kid mirror.
He had a watch, right. He was about ten years old,
and he was doing it on purpose. Yeah, and I
(34:20):
just I stopped this conversation and I was like, OHI
do it again, and he was like and like completely stopped.
His parents were oblivious to the whole situation, I know,
right next to a window, and it kept going in
my eye.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Anyway, what would you have done if he did it
one more time?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Punched the shit out?
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I would have.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
I would have addressed it properly. With a parents wearing
a two dirty dad's shirt. I would have walked over
and I would have said, hey, your kid, that shithead
you call a kid keeps shining a mirror in my eyes.
I'm going to send you the bill for the optometrists.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Do you remember when I asked before called himself a
big old softie.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Someone says, like someone said to me, you contradict yourself
so much. I'm like, I know I got help him.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Just a big soft to your heart. I would have
strangled that child and watched the live exit his eyes.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Have you seen the life leave the child's buddy? Yeah?
So anyway, that just.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Happens, keeping people guessing, guessing.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
How it was a proper like it was. I spoke
to him like I would speak to Oscar. If Oscar
was doing something really naughty, I'd be like, do it again,
like the full elbow on the table.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Wow, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Gonna liet, thank you.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
That's what his mom said. Oh yeah, it wasn't my
type anyway. Is the last mine from Tiaging Tikan's a
lovely name.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Teaking is a nah.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
That's my ex girlfriends, one of my ex girlfriends names.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
I feel like it's an older generation. Yeah, it's like
it's like many different. It's like Barbara, Barbara. Barbara is
like the boomer generation, teaging millennial. It wouldn't work taking
no offense.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
You need to name.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
You was like, oh my god, they're reading out my
pair round and we're just like the no crap, just.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Bashing it there. It's like you've got to call your
kid after like an exotic fruit or something to keep
Harber's well, what's that mean?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
What the new generation of kids that they're like, well,
whatever am I give it, I'm sure you'll steal it?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
So fine, how do you know what am I going
to give it to? I gotta resect me, bro, it's
going to rename my kid Poppy as from Tigan.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
What is it with boys and wing? I feel like
it's a no win situation. My son cannot pee in
the bowl. It always ends up all over the seat,
floor and even the wall. I think I know the problem.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Is three weeks in a row, we're going to mention
your six skin.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
If visitors come over and need to use the toilet,
I find myself doing a mad dash before they walk
in to check if my son has been in there
and made a mess. Recently, he started doing his morning
wheek outside, which I was all for as it's one
less pissy toilet I have to clean. But he has
now ruined a beautiful turf because he seems to have
(37:07):
one favorite spot to wied like a dog, and it's
now a dirt patch in that area. I cannot win
any advice. And no, I'm not up for the ping
pong business.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I would say, just check the length of his fury.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
I honestly, I'm not trying to be funny here, but
maybe Tigan doesn't know my story. I'll tell it very quickly,
like two seconds.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
This is going to be like my birth story, Like
no more telling.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
This story I have like I'm allowed, like once a month,
I had a similar thing. I had too much foreskin.
I got to cut off. Since then only a couple
of drips in the torlet seat.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
There you go. Eh, that's the solution. I would I
really resonated.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Watch you we watching we?
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I don't want to watch him.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
We not you?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Okay, sorry you watch him? We is like, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
What does Oscar do?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Oscars? We had that conversation where he was peeing on
a seat, putting the seat down, putting back up, just
just a mess. He's starting to at it, but I
noticed that he definitely we only got one bathroom in
this house, which is irritating. It's so annoying. But I
noticed in the corner of like our front deck. The
deck is like a right angle and there's it's grass
(38:14):
underneath it. It's all dead now, So he's just been
pissing off the corner there.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I feel like everyone has a part in their house
that's a pit spot the back right hand side when
the girls want to go outside. I've done some weeding,
and I'm like, these weeds stink of pits.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
It's funny how like it kills the grass and shit too.
Sometimes it's like, what are you eating?
Speaker 3 (38:34):
What are you drinking?
Speaker 1 (38:35):
It's like acid ash time of questions.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Yes, I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You want to go? You go first?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Okay, Megan, this is from the Facebook group.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
I did a call out.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Great response, that's good. I love that. Great response, and
she says, right, oh good, start very aussy, right. I So,
as two grown ass men who have beards and mows,
what were your thoughts at thirteen slash fourteen years of age?
The lad is entering that Okay, so her kid is
entering that phase and well seems unphased. Did your moms
(39:07):
get you into shaving or did you ask?
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I had this really distinct memory. I think I was
about nine when I took my dad's razor and I
tried to shave myself. Obviously I didn't have any facial hair.
I just thought, I want to see what all the
fuss is about. Yeah, and I cut myself all over.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Oh I did it. Not the same thing, but I
had a similar like outcome where I like didn't really
know what it was and ran my finger along the
blade and I was like, what is this?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
To be honest, I wanted facial hair so.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Bad, so bad, Oh my god. It was like to
the point where it was like, how do I grow
up faster?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Do?
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Like?
Speaker 1 (39:56):
I I think that, I swear to God. The fact
that I wanted it so bad made it come so much.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Later, I know. And I was just saying, I don't
really remember starting. I'm pretty sure I actually started shaving,
like after i'd moved out of home.
Speaker 6 (40:09):
I was like nineteen, yeah, and I was like it
was pathetic on my face for so long still, even
if you notice, like with me, I really only ever
keep the mustache all the time.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Yeah, sometimes I'll go a bit longer, but that's any
more than that, and it's like ring. So I'm like,
oh nah, it's not for me. So I don't. It's
funny because like in TV, I'm saying TV and all
this stuff. Sorry, I got a bit of music. B
that's delicious. They always depicting it's like it's like the
(40:42):
right of passage to hand down the shaving. It's like, no,
it's not like if I pulled off said come here,
young fella, we're going to teach you how to shave,
and someone's like, don't put sharp blades near your child.
I was like, well, he doesn't have a he doesn't
have a bed, not yet, he doesn't. And it's like,
I don't know how often that would have actually happened,
(41:05):
whether it was like I know that my dad would
have just avoided every awkward, hygienic, bodily functioned conversation our
whole lives.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
And it's like, there's no way he was teaching me
how to shave. You're cutting your fingers off for like
help me. He's like no, he's like your own kid.
He's like, I don't want to get involved. I've got
my own face to shave. I remember my younger brother.
I think he must have been like nineteen in and
I was, you know, five years older. You were shaving
and him his pubic care was he was getting changed
(41:38):
and for the pool and his puper care kind of
came out and it.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Was like a bush.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
It was yeah. I was like, holy sugar. I was like,
what is that thing? And he's like, what, bro, that's
my puper care. And I was like, I've never seen
anything like that. It was thick, it was lot like
a forest, like a pocket mine. And I was like,
have you ever trimmed that thing? And he's like, shave
what do you mean? And I was like, you got
to shave down there like Trummitt And he'd like it.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Was just it's a more important question, Megan. I think
face shaving not as critical. Pubis shaving much more critical
in life teaching.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Teach him anyway, Very good question. In your household, who
was a disciplinarian? Oh?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
In mine?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
You know the guy behind you, the tyler? Watch three kids?
He's young. Oh no, he's one of three kids. He's
not come down yet. There's three of them up there.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
How many are you keeping up there? A clown car?
It's definitely me, I know, April, this is the thing.
Speaker 4 (42:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
I'm more of a consistent or authoritarian. But then every
now and then when mum gets cranky. It's way more serious,
and I feel like that would be with a lot
with the household, Like everyone's household, there's that sort of dynamic.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
I just feel like it's such an easy win to
be the favorite when you're not disciplining. And I know
that's the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
No, that's completely right.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yeah, but at the moment, we're really trying to not
let the kids sleep in our bed because babies coming
in a few weeks. And last night I don't really
remember doing this, but Molly would always come in and
struggle with me, and I love it. It's such a
nice little moment, like waking up snuggling your child. Beautiful, yeah, lovely.
And this morning I kind of realized in my sleep
(43:33):
I'd let Mille come into my side and I had
to like try and hide her from and then she'd
make a noise like hell up, we've gotta get caught.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah yeah, and Laura was like, hang.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
On a second, pulls the sheep back, and Marmy's like.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
So good, yeah, shs Laura more, oh.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. The argument right now in our
household is the fact that I need to be more
proactive with saying no and disciplining because I just kind
of I take a step back.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
I could go with the tide of it.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
And then and then Laura will like leave the room
and I'm like, God, she's a nightmare, isn't she. She's awful.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
I got this thing where it's like I just don't
want the kids jumping on the couch, like it messes
the couch up, I've got to clean it. It's really annoyed.
So I'm always like, don't jump on the couch. But
I notice when I'm not in the room and April's
in the room and the kids jumping on the couch,
she says nothing, and I'm like, we need to be united,
and she's like, oh sorry, I wasn't an excuse. Is
always the same bullshit, bullshit. You just couldn't be bothered
(44:34):
having it. You much really be the favorite. And we're
at lunch, has say kids were The kids were all
over are and she was like, what's it really set
them off? She was like what's She was like, what's
it like to have space? I'm like, I'm like, well,
it's actually kind of nice because I actually disciplined the
children then and it's just like what But it's definitely
mebe if April kicks off, like if you get a
oh yeah, you better look out.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah yeah, packs a punch okay, and that my sisters
walked in because she is our next record.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Busy day, busy day day today.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
So let's wrap this up. If you enjoyed this episode,
we would love it or don't look at the time. No,
I was just checking out how much I am you
are actually because I did flying. Sorry, I'll wrap it up.
Enjoyed the episode, review a couple of stars.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah, Johnson totals, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook group and also YouTube
now and.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
YouTube full episodes. Enjoy I think doing a great job
and we will see you guys next week without without builders, yes,
yes and on apologies, sorry about that. We'll get out
of here. Do you want to by your nose big guy?
Speaker 2 (45:47):
No? No, that's good. That's good.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I can feel do you know what I was saying
to just before? Every morning of late my signus has
been so bad, but by like midday stuff, I can
it starts to open up and I can just I'm
feeling it open up right now. It's better.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
In Sex two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea
and community.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today
Can I send you that chicken pie recipe?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Oh? I want that. That was de lightful.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
You know, it's going to blow your mind the fact
that there's no cream in that.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
There's no cream in it. It's milk there it is, mate.
Mike makes a chicken pie too, chicken and avocado pie.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Chicken what.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, it's it's delicious, but it's got breath in the thing.
I had to have a nap like immediately after.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
No milk, bit of flour. Delicious.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
That's great. Did you the pastry.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Open? It's pre made, premade just on top of the pastry. Yeah. Anyway,
where were we?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Congratulations on the pie.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Welcome back to two noting dads. I am Maddie J.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And I'm Ash.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad, and look Ash, I dare say
we may have some new listeners because I have infiltrated. Okay,
I couldn't. I couldn't tease tactics because I don't want
to blame you, the listener. We trust you. But we
(01:20):
have been working on getting in behind the scenes at
Life on Cut for a while now, pretty much since
we started.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
We're in there somehow, And I did.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
A post where I was like, hey, everyone in the
life on cut Facebook group, do you want to come
and join our Facebook group at two doting days. The
thing is I had to get Laura to approve the post.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Did you hack her phone too? I prove it.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I put her to sleep. I had to give her
a half an hour massage and then and then no,
she wouldn't even like foot massages, just.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Like to wash them, just likes to wash them in
the Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Little shoulder ub gone there. We now have an extra
two hundred man.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Makes all the difference. So welcome.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And they may be here listening right now, let's hope.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So if they're not, Yeah, we'll see you on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
We'll keep working, We'll keep working. Ash. We need to
do some housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
You love housekeeping now and I'm liking it at the
front end. It's new. I feels like a new segment
to me.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It pretty much is a new segment. This place is
a many song. Yeah. Also, I feel like the poor
builders upstairs a working slaving away. They are having to
go back and forth to the car outside. You may
hear their footsteps, they may talk, they may join us
(02:40):
on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
They might yeah, cup on your co hosts, but.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Don't be alarmed if you hear them walking through the
background or if you see them back and forth. Here
we go, right now?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Where what that was? Quick? How did you get by
me without me seeing.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
The drill.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Ghost? I didn't even see him. He was quick.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, it's hard hard booking in trades. You know that.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
I do.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I do know that. What else we all do for housekeeping?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Apologize for the trades? Birthday?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
It is my birthday today, thirty five years young.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I forgot.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
You did forget again?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
What's going to hold?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Very good? Good timing? Thank you? Yeah, you did forget.
You called me. I was doing a pooh, I was
doing a pool.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yes, we spoke about credit to Jess did the post
on the and the Instagram page. We spoke about that.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I thanked you in that story post, but I really
was only thinking Jess.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I thank Jess. And then after Jess and I spoke,
I then called you to bring the trolley and then
I forgot Jess and I forgot. I called Ash to
be like, hey, don't forget bring that trolley over today,
and he was like.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I know.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I said, happy birthday, bro, and he was like, oh,
that's all right, I apologize, that's right.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
April forgot too. Oh no, she didn't forget. She went
to the gym. She came home. She was feeling really
nauseous and she was like, I was having a little lion.
Kids were playing and doing something and she like rushes
pasts like you're gonna have to get up.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I feel sick.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I was like, oh, fuck, so she's got squirts anyway,
then she come to squirt. No she does. Sorry, babe,
what would she we haven't we haven't pinpointed all this.
And when she's come back into the room and she
was like, then proceeds to tell me about all of
her bowel movements over the last forty eight hours.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
She would absolutely hate that you're talking about, Well, you
forget my birthday's walking happen.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I played it cool to her because I was like
laying there, may see while she was talking, and I
was like interrupting her on purpose. April person like may see,
and she was looking at me like what are you doing?
And I was like, come give your dad a birthday cut,
and she was like I was may She's like, I'm sorry, sorr,
Im like, don't apologize.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Was she like mid squirt while she realized.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
No, she'd just come back, but she was mid sentence
about squirt.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
And you're like, don't give me a cuddle after you've
been lifting your gut to the toilet.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Don't know a shower. But yeah, it's cool, it's good.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I have another gift, love, I have another gift.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
All of my kids, All of my kids. What am
my Nick Cannon? All of my kids. They gave me
everything yesterday because obviously I'm all going away to say
I was only going to see him this morning. We
had lunch and stuff yesterday. And they're just the worst
at keeping secrets.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh, they can't help it.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I was like, she gets back in the car from
the restaurant, and I cannot express enough and I'm probably
gonna regret this. I cannot express enough how much I
hate going out to dinner or lunch for my birthday,
just in case the cake pops out in public.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's the worst.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And I'm like I said to April very early on
our relationship, I said, if you ever get someone to
sing me Happy Birthda at a restaurant, this is over immediately.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And she was like, well, now is not a good
time because guys come down please be acapella.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
So yeah, we did that and then we get in
the car and I was like, oh, I can't wait
to go home for cake. I'm like, so you got
me a cake? And he's like no, oh yeah yeah. Anyway,
that's good. Good day. Yes, yesterday was my family birthdays days. Mate.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Well mate, it's about to get even better because I
have a very special message that I can show you
on the phone. Up, hang on a second, who is it.
I'm not going to tell you. Okay, Yeah, it's hard
hard to get this message. Wow.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Really let me work for it, Okay, before or after
his latest concussion, I.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Made it stoke a boy vach year. I just wanted
to wish you a happy birthday, mater. Thanks for your
support of the Mighty Seagulls. We really really appreciate it.
Obviously loved trying that buddy hot chili fake of whatever
it was off you a few years ago.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Anyway, mate, now, thanks for you support. Really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Mate.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Keep the funny videos coming and go to the Eagles.
Go on your mate, I have a great birthday.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
That's amazing. Thank you so much. That's awesome, man. How
did you get that.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I don't want to go into too much detail now.
It was hard. It's hard because he didn't reply to
any of my messages. So I required a favor from
another co host of Yours, Aaron Woods.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Oh you went? You went the longest way? About that
because just called Pete from the cafe. They're like best mates.
Oh really, but I appreciate it. I love that. It's
going definitely going off on my socials for sure. So
thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I first spoilt you.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
You should be spoilt because you're a great guy.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Do you want to know what I forgot me? And
the kids got me? Absolutely, they got me a three
hundred dollars lego set. I'm a child. What an F
one car? It's amazing. Can't wait to build it.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You are an interesting young man.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I know, thank you. I atually I really like that.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You really are.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Whenever I try and put you into a box, I
jump out of it.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It was funny as I got home and I was like, lay,
I had a really bad back from the aeroplane, and
I'm like laying on my back and I literally was
building the lego on my back, and I was like,
this is the weirdest thing to watch. And I was
like April.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
We messaged April Ring like what does Ash want? And
She's like, I don't know. I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I'm more of a gift giver. My love language to
people is giving people things.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
So I just had to ask the builders to turn
the music off. I just I was like, Ecofellas banger,
if you don't mind, it's sitting on the radio for
a second.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Anyway back to it, Hey.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Housekeeping, Oh god, there's a lot. Sorry, I'm just trying
to get through my notes. Nana is away, yes, right now,
I'm out of breath. A few people have asked, does
Nana still live here?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I didn't realize. I've not put her on my socials
for a while, and people are like, is she still alive?
Can confirm Nana is still here. She's on a cruise.
I don't know where she's gone. There is a photo
that I'll show you. She's with six other seventy year
olds and she sent a photo of them all at
dinner and I was like, oh my god, it looks
(09:22):
like a retirement home dinner. That all's like ancient.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Ah, they haven't a swinger's cruise again.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh we did that in the family chat.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Your mom does look good for seventy though.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Relax, well, chill.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
If I wanted to be cool, you disgusting, I would
have used disgusting language. Thank you. I didn't thank you
very appropriate mature language.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
But the day she left, she left on a Thursday
last week, Friday morning. I don't know how this happened.
She's in charge of the food pretty much in the house. Yeah,
so she like she manages stock levels of the food.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
She's a stock repacker.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
She left on a Thursday night. To my knowledge, fridge
was full, the pantry was full, and I swear to god,
Friday morning, woke up, no milk, no cereal, nutral grain.
Everything is like crumbs. I was like, the kids are going,
what are we going to eat? The place was empty.
(10:24):
The laundry, it's a mass is piled up. How you
got for She's back this coming Friday. Thank God?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
To be starving by then. Yeah. Look, whenever we wake
up and I've forgotten to get bread the next day
and like the kids love totally. No man keep bread
in the freezer.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
House kimming continues. You're off this afternoon specially to La,
who are you shooting with? Who is it?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I'm actually no, Lass.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Oh, for god's sake, I'm not allowed to say, well, fine,
that's fine, we'll see it.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So it's a very high level NBA player, x nbl
L player, NBA players, and we'll figure that out. There's
heaps of them, but you'll know he's got a personality.
So is it tall?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You have some other news?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, which.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
This may be the beginning of the end for us.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
How why because.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
There's a little bit of tension in the air.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Is it what I didn't know you felt like this?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Yeah, I mean I'm not sure how to bring this
up with you. I feel like this is a bit
and genuine sadness, because yeah, it's it's a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
It's awkward. It is very awkward for you. Maybe not
for me because we.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Didn't realize it, but we went for the same job.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, we wouldn't have even known until I was like,
I just had this meeting with these people and you're like, yeah,
that means certain. I was like, well, good luck.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
There is a TV show and they needed a funny guy. Yeah,
and I was up for the role.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
The yep, this is awkward.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Now and we can't tell you what the show is nope,
Ash When does it come out?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't know, but I will be on Saturday nights
seven point thirty Channel seven as bad as much as
I can say.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And then I got the call to say I didn't
get the job.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Who called you? Our manager?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Do you share the same manager?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
It was funny. I spoke to you first and just said, hey,
I just want to let you know I apparently got
this part, and you're very supportive as I would be
for you. Oh my god. Okay, okay, And then she
rang me back, well, she rang me back yep, and
said I've just got a call Maddie and telling the
bad news. I said, don't worry, I've aready done it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Wow. No, I just you know, when I first met you,
I brought you into this world of media, you know
I was I was training you up a little. Did
I know you would turn around and stab me in
the back?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Stab you in the back?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:11):
What am I going to do? Relinquish the job?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
No?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Actually I would have thought you would have replied and
said to them I cannot take the job because it
would ruin the relationship with Matt that's what I would
have done.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Well, you thought wrong. Look look honestly, it's just fair competition.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Man. Now that you've got a mortgage, yeah, I've got
a mortgage place.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, but we'll see it could be flown.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
No congratulations, I mean I hope it is.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Oh my goodness, your true colors are really showing. So
do you know? It's funny though, when I talk to
people about it, I always throw that I beat that
out on this one, and then I was like, yeah,
I got it, got one out of all of the
other jobs.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Turning the knife now and sorry, you just may as
well spit on me when I'm in my grave. As
long as you're happy. As long as you're happy.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
You wish i'd spin on you.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
More housekeeping. Well, this is just awkward now, Ash is
an assholes on my notes. Lola got a new fringe.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Tell me about this fringe? What sort? Is there a
name for it? Like a particular type.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Jess, I'm going to look at you. Is it bangs?
Is that bangs? She doesn't have banks. It's a fringe,
isn't it? Is it like a thea? Is it like
a like a level? Like a level. It's kind of
like a bit to the side.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, like like the Veronica's had back in the day.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, like I used to have that. Shout out to Carla,
who is a good good friend of ours in our household.
She's a makeup artist who also has the ability to
cut hair very good. She cut Marley's fringe back in
the day and she was over giving my hand looking
after Lola. I had leave the house to go get Maley,
(15:01):
and in that time period it must have been about
five minutes, I missed my phone, like I wasn't checking it.
I looked at my phone, lots of messages. Fringe was
thrown around a number of times, and I came home
and there it was hair on the floor, Lola looking
at me with a fringe, so Nana. Nana had taken
it upon herself to green light the fringe. You don't
(15:24):
like it, no, I do. Well, it's a very good question.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It is hard to be like, I've known you with
this hairstyle, so your whole life, yea, And then you
come home and you're like, who is a child?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
It's like a different kid. I look at long and
I'm like, I don't even know you anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Gotta be careful with fringes. And this is why I
say that my mother in law, who I loved very
much and I respect very much, I say that before
this comes out of my mouth. She has a fringe. Yep,
since same fringe since she was a child.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Well that's the thing. I'm like, will will.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
This be it? And I always say to April g
dodge this fringe.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Marley, Marley was growing out of the fringe. She wanted
to back now, and then she's gone back to the fringe.
She was like clawing out of the like the trenches
of fringes, and then now she's smack bang in the
center of that crater.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
It must be nice to have options, though. Actually they've
got options to grow different hairstyles. I've stuck with the one,
which is just either too much hair and you can't
do anything with it, or bald shaved.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Not far off. But people of people had messaged and
they were like, you didn't even announce the fringe. She's
just all of a sudden on your socials with a fringe.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Do you have to announce your child's fringe?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Well, apparently you do. I didn't realize it was required
to be announced, but yeah, so that's why I'm announcing
to you.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
And we're announcing to everyone else's.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Listening in case you come over and you're like, who
is this random four year old? And I'm like, that
happens to be Lola with a fringe.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Wow, I can't wait to see it actually, because it's like,
I know, like with Oscar cutting his hair when it's
really long, it's like it to be like a like
a latchkey kid, and then when I cut it, he
just like looks like a different kid. It's wild. So anyway,
congrats on the fringe.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
How are you, my friend? We're good, By the way,
that's housekeeping finished? Oh all good, I finished the housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Thank you. It's over.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Don't talking about how clean it looks.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
It does look clean. It's awkward it looks clean.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Don't sit down anywhere you make a mask.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Okay, all right, let's move on. How am I? I'm good?
The family were sick the last couple of weeks, sucked down.
We can't go this whole episode. You like this? Why
how do I make it better? You're got to be
a star. Anyway, So about of sickness. Oscar was had
a couple of days of school, which is never which
(17:41):
is never good. As a builder passes me.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Shout out to the tilers doing a great job upstairs.
Keep it up.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I've lost my training though. Sorry. Yes, so everyone's sick.
You know you're dying. We're all dying. Yeah. Oscar was
particularly sick, like really bad cough. This time of year.
He usually had was creep or whatever, but it was
like really really bad. Ski kept him at home for
two days at the back end of a week, which
is fine, it goes into it.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Can I just say, I'm very sorry that you guys
are experiencing this.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
It's brutal. It is brutal time.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
No one deserves this.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
No, everyone's at school back now we're on the mend,
and that's the main thing. But Oscar was crooked for
a few days too. It was like he needs to
see a doctor, you know, like usually you can rest
it out. And also kids don't understand when they're home
to rest, they need to rest. Come back out to
the living room in Oscar's fucking got an obstacle course going.
I'm like, Jesus Christ, come on one a way, you're
still sick. We had to go to the doctor and they
(18:31):
said you need to do the like the influenza test
and stuff like that, which is the same as the
old COVID test which does them all and just the flashback.
And I was going to ask you, do you remember
having to give Mali or Lola a COVID test back
in in the middle of the pandemic, because it's such
a weird sensation up there up there, even for an adult.
(18:54):
Because we had Macy like in the mix of COVID.
There was a lot of testing going on because at
the hospitals and go to different appointments, you've just got
to test every second day. And same with Oscar, and
it was such a nightmare because.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
It depends on who you went to. Sometimes they were
very delicate and they're very gentle, and then sometimes I
was just like, you know, the night on the back
of a horse with.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
A what's it called that sword, a jousting stout. So
I'm talking about the one at home when you do
it at home yourself to get the negative so you
can be like.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
It's so hard to know how deep to go in.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, that's what she said.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
God, you're terrible.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Okay. Anyway, I just remember having to do with Oscar
and he wouldn't he refused, so I had to remember
having to pin him down to do it, and it
was traumatizing because he'd be like you know when you
put like medication in a dog's mouth and you hold
their mouth try and get it and they're like flying around.
That's what he'd be like. And I'm like trying to
poke this thing up his nose long enough.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
It's a two man job as well.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I know. I remember once April had his arms and
legs and I had I had his head between my
knees and I was like, oh my, I.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Was like just like full red, like fire eyes.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
And it's because I know the feeling right because we
had to do it too, but because we were adults
like but he was just didn't understand what was going on.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And then the next second you're like, get bring it in.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, it's like you can't leave the house. Unlet's we
do this.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
One second you're torturing them. The next thing you're like, we're.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
All normal again. Anyway, So we had to do that.
But this one of the new ones. Have you seen them?
It's good at all? So, which is good, which is
handy because.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
It's like like a bingo card.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Or yeah, thankfully he was negative in the whole lot.
But it just got me thinking about that. Thank god,
thank goodness, thank goodness. But it just got me just yeah,
remember you.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Keep saying you want to have another pandemic. You love
every time there's like a massive like bird foods coming
back in China, you're there your mouth like salivating.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I'm promoting it. There was someone that actually died of
about infection in Sydney, and I was like, here we go.
They definitely put him down. They were like, we don't
want anything to spread.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Let's just get rid of this family. Probably listening, they're
probably listening right now. Well, probably you should have known
better than they eat a bat. Let's be honest. A
bit him did it anyway?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Anyway. Anyway, So we're on the end and that's good.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I just want to give a little update on how
things are going with pregnancy number three. We are on
the home stretch.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
You gont to be a dad soon, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
It feels really really really strange, like, yeah, dad, Matt
with a newborn to me is completely raised from my
memory to go back there, it seems so yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I don't know. Like Macy sometimes she'll PuO in a
nappy in bed because she saw it was a nappy
in bed and I'm like, so last night was one
of those nights and I had to change the napping.
I'm like, I thought I had moved on from this.
You're going strained back, dude.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I know, I know. It's weird. Even now, Laura will say, oh, Popp,
he's really wriggling around. Do you want to a feel
put my hands there? And I'm feeling these kicks coming
through and I'm thinking, God, and like less than seven weeks,
six weeks by the time this episode comes out, I'm
going to have you in my arms. It just blows
my absolute mind. But upstairs, I gave you a few
(22:25):
messages on the weekend, by the way, about you're going
to take that couch? Oh yeah, yeah, because Laura was
like it just clicked into gear. She's like, we need
to get this place ready now.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
It's funny. I think you put a story off over
the weekend, but it was it wasn't obvious what you
were doing, but I decouraged it pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
We did four bags to the Salvos and she was
also like, when is Ash going to take that couch?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
And I was like, well, he only.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Said yes, and then you're coming over. You're going straight
to the airport after this record. And I was like,
I don't think you can take it. Tick it in
after the record, and she was like, put it on
face marketplace now. I was like, can I just give
like ash a week to pick it up?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Just a word of warning.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
When you come back, you have one week to collect
that couch, otherwise it is gone.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
That is not fair. Well, dude, I'll call off.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
You tell Laura I will, and you complain because we
now need to get that room.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I guess set up. I'll work on.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
We don't have anything. We don't have we don't have
a pram, we don't have baby clothes, we don't have bottles,
we have nothing. We don't have anything. We have a crib.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You've got a couch forgot the other day I was like,
I was like trying to go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I was like, again, dude, I know. And even to
top it all off, just when I'm like, gosh, this,
there's going to be a lot on my plate right now,
Laura has thrown out the fact that on the chopping
block right now is the name Poppy.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
You're not allowed to change it. Because I have a
bet going with April that you won't and I'm going
to be very upset if and I heard on their
radio show that.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Is she talking about on the radio show? What did
she say?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
She's like, it's sort of losing. It's like not no,
she was like, you know when you're like.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
It's losing, it's white sparkle.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, a little bit like not know not as that
Like they were talking about do we continue with it?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
You know?
Speaker 1 (24:22):
What do you think? Be honest? Were we too premature
with picking the name?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Absolutely? But I've put I've put it, I've put my
neck on the line here saying that I won't change it. Yeah, well, Apia,
it was like that they're going to change it. I'll
change I have a feeling that they'll change it. And
I was like, they're not. I was so sure of
it that I was like, Oh, put a little wager
on on it, because why not. It's a bit of fun.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
What's the wager.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I can't remember what she has to do for me
if I win, but I know that if she wins,
I have to go attend a gym class with her.
Oh my god, that's not confident.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You're going to CrossFit high rocks.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna fluff my
way out of it somehow, but yeah, don't change it.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
But it's not up to me. It's it's the boss,
very true, it's the boss. It's what she wants to do.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
So what I need to do is convince you to
keep it, convince her to keep it.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
And I think I don't know if it's helped or hindered.
But we watched Trolls on the weekend and Queen Poppy
Princess Poppy, and I think that gave her the yck, right.
I don't know. I feel like I just need a
good Poppy to come in front of us to really
just like lock down, just that Poppy is a good thing.
(25:40):
I need to have a good person attached to the name.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I love the name.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
They're good.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
He origionally said you should call it muffin because that
is cute. But it's more of a dog's name or
a cat or a pet of some description. But Poppy,
love it, Love Poppy.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
What's the middle Wigan Poppy, Pearl, Poppy, Pearl Johnson, I
love it. I'm trying to find a famous poppy.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
While you do that, and I'll keep talking to the
listeners really quickly. Have you thought about godfathers?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
No, we don't have any god parents?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Would you like one?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
What do they do? Again?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I don't know what they do. If if there was
a horrific accident and you lose your lives and the
kids need I guess another adult in the lives, that
becomes my responsibility. Who are to be elected?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Who are the god parents of your children?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I don't have any?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Okay? Can I just? A god parent, also known as
a godfather or godmother, is someone chosen to guide and
support a child, particularly in their spiritual development within a
religious context. Really, while this role has historically included assuming
parental responsibilities, the parents pass away, this is not a
(27:02):
legal obligation. Instead, godparents act as mentors, role models, and
sponsors of their child's faith journey.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
The movies were definitely not like that. It was way
more violent than that. So I retracted.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Do you think being a godparents related to the movie Godfather?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Isn't that right? Are you? What do you mean? Wait? No?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
WHOA hang on a second? WHOA hang on a second?
There is a movie called the Godfather, you know, absolutely,
but that's not in relation to like being a godparent.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Isn't it?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
What isn't that? What he isn't that? I've never actually
seen it.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Do you think the Godfather film is based upon a
godfather parent?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
I just thought the Mobster was the godfather of all
these people. Okay, I don't like being made fun of.
That was real and now I feel stupid, So thank
you a little bit. Okay, well, now I've rethought my
whole thinking. Go on, I still want to be the
(28:09):
Godfather if that means like an off people. Okay, you
have throw a lavish wedding.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Do I want Poppy to be mentored by you?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Ash Wicks?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, Oh I am the great mentor.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Come on, we start a taker of many different industries.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
That's good. I've got experience.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
What can you offer?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Not a lot? Look, I am a dad already.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Okay. If I announced you as Godfather.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I will own that title till I die.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
What's the process? Is it just like you are the Godfather?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah, it's just like you need to announce it.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
I want to call Laura right now. I can't make
this decision without her input. I need to call it.
I can't call it right now because she's doing a
podcast record. Can I leave it, leave it with you?
Can I let it marinate?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah? And I think, I think, yeah, if I need
to be interviewed for the process between you and Laura,
then I'm happy to do so.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
There we will have to be some type of like test.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Oh yeah, for sure. I thrive in that sort of environment.
Do you know, Matthew, it's time for a segment called parant.
I want to be pree you say, what, man? I
feel like a parent?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
May I just jump in front of you really quickly? Okay?
This one is from Julia. She sent this one over
the weekend. Julia, thank you for following us on Instagram.
At two Dating Dads, she says, parant please and brackets
love the pod. I'm three months into the trenches of
two under two. Obviously finding activities to entertain my toddler
is challenging. But the two seconds she sits in the
(30:05):
sandpit and gets covered in sand is not worth The
sand she brings back into the house and the full
outfit change that follows.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Sand is the worst I did that video. Remember when
I was like sand in the shoes, stand in the shoe.
I turned him upside down and shook him a bit
and only sand comes out of orifices. I didn't know
he had like pockets and.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Also does ask to have a sandpit at school?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
No, no, thank god, I know, I know. This was
just like a two minutes at the park. Now do
you know what it was?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
He walked through.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
The sandpit to get to something else he wanted to
play with and it pretty much came home with BONDI
beat Nightmare anyway. Sarah says she spelt parent wrong, so
that's good. Don't attack the listeners, bro shit Well if yeah, whatever,
we actually we spelled it wrong. If anything, this is
from Sarah when the grandparents leave on a nine month
(30:59):
trip around Australia and just expect I'll stay at home
and look after their grandchildren. So selfish. Oh, I don't
know what we do with that.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Frank, Mum's gone for the week and I'm like, when
will it end?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Sink the ship? Get it back here straight away from
the next flight. Someone I saw the other day someone
said it's so funny you become a parent and you
start asking your parents if you're allowed to go out again,
like at at night?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Yeah, do you think you'll be a hands on grandparent.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Oh no, I'm sawyer. No, I probably will I say
that I'm a soft to your heart? You know that,
you know you're cold hearted? Cold hearted? Job Still. This
one's from Lorrie Laurie Lourie. I can never pronounce people,
all right. Other parents at the playground let their kids
(31:52):
be absolute menaces, pushing, hitting, screaming, etc. While they sit
there with their mates having a cold beverage, turning a
blind eye to their child's behavior.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
You know where it really pisses me off. There is
a little park, an indoor park at the pub at
Clavelli Hotel. It's very narrow, okay, and it's more of
like an obstacle course.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
We've got one of those.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
And it's like there's no real option to play in
this little indoor park except like you start at the
start of the ob school course and you work your
way through and there's like the slides in it. And
there's boys that I don't want to attack the boys
here I go on, but like the little ten year
old boys and they're just Jack is in there, Jack
and Billy. They are just turbo turbot. And I remember
(32:41):
Marley and Lawler when they were little, they were younger
and they were, you know, like slowly making their way
through there and they're getting bowled over, and I was like,
I'm going to knock these kids' heads off.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
The worst thing about that sort of type of playground
is when that happens and they get bolder because you
know there are little kids in there, and then you've
got to go in to rescue. I don't fit and
it's like try and explain to a small child who's
hurt that I can't get in there because I'm I'm
too fat to fit in there, and they just don't.
(33:10):
They're like so kiddy. It's like, and I have climbed into.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Some before and got stuck, So yeah, how many beers
did you have before you climbed in?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
But it's honestly, I cannot stand Actually just on that
really quick.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Here he is, what do you got for me?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
This just happened on the weekend. I went I went
to Melbourne for a lunch. Okay, I'm in a nice
restaurant with people having a lovely time.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I just ask you went there for lunch and you
came back a day later.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
My flag were canceled. I've got receipts I got canceled
but anyway, I'm having a conversation with someone like across
from me like this that having this conversation, and you know,
like like something shined in my eye, like you know
how when someone gets a mirror and shines the light. Yeah,
(34:00):
I felt that. I thought I must have just been
a passing car hit the sun perfectly. What about that?
It happened again? What the fuck is going on? And
I looked over to the corner and then the table
on a corner was a family and their kid mirror.
He had a watch, right. He was about ten years old,
and he was doing it on purpose. Yeah, and I
(34:20):
just I stopped this conversation and I was like, OHI
do it again, and he was like and like completely stopped.
His parents were oblivious to the whole situation, I know,
right next to a window, and it kept going in
my eye.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Anyway, what would you have done if he did it
one more time?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Punched the shit out?
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I would have.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
I would have addressed it properly. With a parents wearing
a two dirty dad's shirt. I would have walked over
and I would have said, hey, your kid, that shithead
you call a kid keeps shining a mirror in my eyes.
I'm going to send you the bill for the optometrists.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Do you remember when I asked before called himself a
big old softie.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Someone says, like someone said to me, you contradict yourself
so much. I'm like, I know I got help him.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Just a big soft to your heart. I would have
strangled that child and watched the live exit his eyes.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Have you seen the life leave the child's buddy? Yeah?
So anyway, that just.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Happens, keeping people guessing, guessing.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
How it was a proper like it was. I spoke
to him like I would speak to Oscar. If Oscar
was doing something really naughty, I'd be like, do it again,
like the full elbow on the table.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Wow, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Gonna liet, thank you.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
That's what his mom said. Oh yeah, it wasn't my
type anyway. Is the last mine from Tiaging Tikan's a
lovely name.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Teaking is a nah.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
That's my ex girlfriends, one of my ex girlfriends names.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
I feel like it's an older generation. Yeah, it's like
it's like many different. It's like Barbara, Barbara. Barbara is
like the boomer generation, teaging millennial. It wouldn't work taking
no offense.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
You need to name.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
You was like, oh my god, they're reading out my
pair round and we're just like the no crap, just.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Bashing it there. It's like you've got to call your
kid after like an exotic fruit or something to keep
Harber's well, what's that mean?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
What the new generation of kids that they're like, well,
whatever am I give it, I'm sure you'll steal it?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
So fine, how do you know what am I going
to give it to? I gotta resect me, bro, it's
going to rename my kid Poppy as from Tigan.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
What is it with boys and wing? I feel like
it's a no win situation. My son cannot pee in
the bowl. It always ends up all over the seat,
floor and even the wall. I think I know the problem.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Is three weeks in a row, we're going to mention
your six skin.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
If visitors come over and need to use the toilet,
I find myself doing a mad dash before they walk
in to check if my son has been in there
and made a mess. Recently, he started doing his morning
wheek outside, which I was all for as it's one
less pissy toilet I have to clean. But he has
now ruined a beautiful turf because he seems to have
(37:07):
one favorite spot to wied like a dog, and it's
now a dirt patch in that area. I cannot win
any advice. And no, I'm not up for the ping
pong business.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I would say, just check the length of his fury.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
I honestly, I'm not trying to be funny here, but
maybe Tigan doesn't know my story. I'll tell it very quickly,
like two seconds.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
This is going to be like my birth story, Like
no more telling.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
This story I have like I'm allowed, like once a month,
I had a similar thing. I had too much foreskin.
I got to cut off. Since then only a couple
of drips in the torlet seat.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
There you go. Eh, that's the solution. I would I
really resonated.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Watch you we watching we?
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I don't want to watch him.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
We not you?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Okay, sorry you watch him? We is like, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
What does Oscar do?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Oscars? We had that conversation where he was peeing on
a seat, putting the seat down, putting back up, just
just a mess. He's starting to at it, but I
noticed that he definitely we only got one bathroom in
this house, which is irritating. It's so annoying. But I
noticed in the corner of like our front deck. The
deck is like a right angle and there's it's grass
(38:14):
underneath it. It's all dead now, So he's just been
pissing off the corner there.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I feel like everyone has a part in their house
that's a pit spot the back right hand side when
the girls want to go outside. I've done some weeding,
and I'm like, these weeds stink of pits.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
It's funny how like it kills the grass and shit too.
Sometimes it's like, what are you eating?
Speaker 3 (38:34):
What are you drinking?
Speaker 1 (38:35):
It's like acid ash time of questions.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Yes, I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You want to go? You go first?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Okay, Megan, this is from the Facebook group.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
I did a call out.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Great response, that's good. I love that. Great response, and
she says, right, oh good, start very aussy, right. I So,
as two grown ass men who have beards and mows,
what were your thoughts at thirteen slash fourteen years of age?
The lad is entering that Okay, so her kid is
entering that phase and well seems unphased. Did your moms
(39:07):
get you into shaving or did you ask?
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I had this really distinct memory. I think I was
about nine when I took my dad's razor and I
tried to shave myself. Obviously I didn't have any facial hair.
I just thought, I want to see what all the
fuss is about. Yeah, and I cut myself all over.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Oh I did it. Not the same thing, but I
had a similar like outcome where I like didn't really
know what it was and ran my finger along the
blade and I was like, what is this?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
To be honest, I wanted facial hair so.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Bad, so bad, Oh my god. It was like to
the point where it was like, how do I grow
up faster?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Do?
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Like?
Speaker 1 (39:56):
I I think that, I swear to God. The fact
that I wanted it so bad made it come so much.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Later, I know. And I was just saying, I don't
really remember starting. I'm pretty sure I actually started shaving,
like after i'd moved out of home.
Speaker 6 (40:09):
I was like nineteen, yeah, and I was like it
was pathetic on my face for so long still, even
if you notice, like with me, I really only ever
keep the mustache all the time.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Yeah, sometimes I'll go a bit longer, but that's any
more than that, and it's like ring. So I'm like,
oh nah, it's not for me. So I don't. It's
funny because like in TV, I'm saying TV and all
this stuff. Sorry, I got a bit of music. B
that's delicious. They always depicting it's like it's like the
(40:42):
right of passage to hand down the shaving. It's like, no,
it's not like if I pulled off said come here,
young fella, we're going to teach you how to shave,
and someone's like, don't put sharp blades near your child.
I was like, well, he doesn't have a he doesn't
have a bed, not yet, he doesn't. And it's like,
I don't know how often that would have actually happened,
(41:05):
whether it was like I know that my dad would
have just avoided every awkward, hygienic, bodily functioned conversation our
whole lives.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
And it's like, there's no way he was teaching me
how to shave. You're cutting your fingers off for like
help me. He's like no, he's like your own kid.
He's like, I don't want to get involved. I've got
my own face to shave. I remember my younger brother.
I think he must have been like nineteen in and
I was, you know, five years older. You were shaving
and him his pubic care was he was getting changed
(41:38):
and for the pool and his puper care kind of
came out and it.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Was like a bush.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
It was yeah. I was like, holy sugar. I was like,
what is that thing? And he's like, what, bro, that's
my puper care. And I was like, I've never seen
anything like that. It was thick, it was lot like
a forest, like a pocket mine. And I was like,
have you ever trimmed that thing? And he's like, shave
what do you mean? And I was like, you got
to shave down there like Trummitt And he'd like it.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Was just it's a more important question, Megan. I think
face shaving not as critical. Pubis shaving much more critical
in life teaching.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Teach him anyway, Very good question. In your household, who
was a disciplinarian? Oh?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
In mine?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
You know the guy behind you, the tyler? Watch three kids?
He's young. Oh no, he's one of three kids. He's
not come down yet. There's three of them up there.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
How many are you keeping up there? A clown car?
It's definitely me, I know, April, this is the thing.
Speaker 4 (42:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
I'm more of a consistent or authoritarian. But then every
now and then when mum gets cranky. It's way more serious,
and I feel like that would be with a lot
with the household, Like everyone's household, there's that sort of dynamic.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
I just feel like it's such an easy win to
be the favorite when you're not disciplining. And I know
that's the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
No, that's completely right.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yeah, but at the moment, we're really trying to not
let the kids sleep in our bed because babies coming
in a few weeks. And last night I don't really
remember doing this, but Molly would always come in and
struggle with me, and I love it. It's such a
nice little moment, like waking up snuggling your child. Beautiful, yeah, lovely.
And this morning I kind of realized in my sleep
(43:33):
I'd let Mille come into my side and I had
to like try and hide her from and then she'd
make a noise like hell up, we've gotta get caught.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah yeah, and Laura was like, hang.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
On a second, pulls the sheep back, and Marmy's like.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
So good, yeah, shs Laura more, oh.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. The argument right now in our
household is the fact that I need to be more
proactive with saying no and disciplining because I just kind
of I take a step back.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
I could go with the tide of it.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
And then and then Laura will like leave the room
and I'm like, God, she's a nightmare, isn't she. She's awful.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
I got this thing where it's like I just don't
want the kids jumping on the couch, like it messes
the couch up, I've got to clean it. It's really annoyed.
So I'm always like, don't jump on the couch. But
I notice when I'm not in the room and April's
in the room and the kids jumping on the couch,
she says nothing, and I'm like, we need to be united,
and she's like, oh sorry, I wasn't an excuse. Is
always the same bullshit, bullshit. You just couldn't be bothered
(44:34):
having it. You much really be the favorite. And we're
at lunch, has say kids were The kids were all
over are and she was like, what's it really set
them off? She was like what's She was like, what's
it like to have space? I'm like, I'm like, well,
it's actually kind of nice because I actually disciplined the
children then and it's just like what But it's definitely
mebe if April kicks off, like if you get a
oh yeah, you better look out.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah yeah, packs a punch okay, and that my sisters
walked in because she is our next record.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Busy day, busy day day today.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
So let's wrap this up. If you enjoyed this episode,
we would love it or don't look at the time. No,
I was just checking out how much I am you
are actually because I did flying. Sorry, I'll wrap it up.
Enjoyed the episode, review a couple of stars.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah, Johnson totals, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook group and also YouTube
now and.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
YouTube full episodes. Enjoy I think doing a great job
and we will see you guys next week without without builders, yes,
yes and on apologies, sorry about that. We'll get out
of here. Do you want to by your nose big guy?
Speaker 2 (45:47):
No? No, that's good. That's good.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I can feel do you know what I was saying
to just before? Every morning of late my signus has
been so bad, but by like midday stuff, I can
it starts to open up and I can just I'm
feeling it open up right now. It's better.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
In Sex two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea
and community.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today
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