October 7, 2025 • 44 mins
Technically, baby Poppy has arrived!
However, in this episode, past Matty J, his wife Laura, and Ash have yet to meet her. The anticipation is high! So are the nerves...and in the words of Ash, "good luck!"
While Matt prepares to welcome a third baby, he's playing pranks on Marlie, and it's getting her into trouble at school.
Ash has finally said goodbye to his Balie parasite and shares the remedy for getting rid of the things (yuck).
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You did mention my T shirt when I walked in.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Is this part of the episode?
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Is this now?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This T shirt was gifted to me by my children
for Father's Day. Oh so now I get to wear
the shit aret on my chest.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome back to two doting guards. I'm Maddy Jay and
I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad and relatable
and one thing that I promise I will never do.
Actually it's a lie. Last Emi said, I gave some advice.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I know. We were like, it's not advice, but it's advice.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
We try not to give advice. Every now and then
we can't help it. We have to, like, let the
valve go seeps out. We close the valve for shut again.
It's a lovely shirt, well said, thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Yeah, look it's not Look it is ship art.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
All kids do shit art, but it's my ship art.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Who it is that you?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
It's meant to be me?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Looks like you're attacking what's the big blob on the right.
And we'll put a photo meant to.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Be a love heart. That's a mazy love heart. That
one that's cute.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
We'll put a photo up on socials, just so people
can look at the incredible creations we'll get just to
take a decent photo and by your kids. What's those
shirts that excel It's a big I like a big shirt.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
You A big shirt means not as.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Big as you were a few months ago.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I have lost a little bit of weight.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah, are you going to start? It's a parasite moving
to Is a parasite gone?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, yeah, it is gone. How did you get rid
of it?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I ate a lot of raw garlic, yeah, trust me,
So let me just give you the concoction.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Please.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Is this housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
This is not housekeeping. We will go in housekeeping.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
This is this is cooking with ash.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So there's a couple of things that you can do.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Please.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Raw garlic, yep, seems to.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Be the most impactful because you could feel it happening.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So what you do is you chop up the garlic.
But what you mix it with honey to attract the parasite.
Then they eat the garlic and die.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Parasites don't like garlic.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I don't like garlic.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
They vampires.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yes, they also only come out at night and love blood.
And the thing is that the garlic won't kill the
eggs though, because there's already eggs in you within with
in with instchew, yes, what said?
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Made that up?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And then you need to have something like papya seeds,
but not chewed.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
You can't chew them. They got to be there to
kill the eggs.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
How does papya seeds?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Not a scientist?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
I just went who's told you this?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
And then walnuts and pumpkin seeds?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
How does April go at nighttime when you guys have
a little bit of a.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
You know chest?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
She goes, good, don't you? Ah, that's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Sorry, once you've had the garlic. Because if I have garlic,
it's seeped out of me.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I tell you right now. She didn't come to him
that a parasite and I didn't have the energy I
would have found it.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
No, No, I didn't have the energy.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Let's go on a house keep. Let's go to housekeeping.
I got something for you. I have something for you.
Oh yeah, okay, wait, there, don't go anywhere. I would
never This is from live, she says, Hey, guys love
the pod shuckers, especially especially the ones where you talk shit.
I'm absolutely here for it. Anyway, probably many episodes ago,
(03:30):
Ash had a story about some concerning play behavior he
observed from Macy. I believe the term was serial killer
may have been coined.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Was it the shark?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
No, it was when she was hiding body parts. Do
you remember, Oh, she.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Was hiding the Lego body part. Yes, well, there's still
a bunch of heads missing.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
It reminded me of a confronting scene i'd witnessed from
my five year old daughter hiding up her room one day.
I found a poorly plotted gravy of doll torsos until
I finally stumbled upon the final resting place of the
doll's limbs. Oh my goodness, in particular the legs stuffed
(04:11):
into a small pot or cup. When I interrogated said
daughter on her secret shame, she told me it was
a bucket of drumsticks. I'm still wrestling with how I
feel about this, and she's put some photos in Oh.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
No, oh my looks so creepy. It does look like drumsticks.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
A bit go down, I found a cup of Lego
heads and water frozen in the freezer.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah, so now she's found out how to preserve body.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Really quickly. The cat Raspberry likes to kill little lizards
and she will sometimes bring them inside your cats, you know, like,
look what I've brought for you. Master. One of these
lizards was a bit old, half decade and so some
of the bones were sticking out, and Lola was just obsessed.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
She was like, oh, speaker was his listen.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I'm talking like you can see it's not a dragon,
and yeah, because it was an old lizard, so have
the rib cage. Sorry, I referenced, we're talking like one
of those ten centimeter lizards. And Lola was fascinated by
the bones, and I was like, she's Jeffrey Darba.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Oh yes, just it sell and take some pictures.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Houski, what do you got.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I've got one for you from Linda.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
This must go back from when we were talking about
the pregnancy tests and like things people keep from childbirth,
et cetera. She said, I kept my pregnancy tests and
they are now mounted in a frame along with the
outfit they came home from the hospital, in the hospital wristband,
the birth certificate, et cetera. They are both hung in
our living room with no con takes. These photos look
(06:01):
like there's going to be a bit more. But if
you went to this person's house with no context, and
you saw that, you'd think that they lost both babies,
Like Linda, I know, it's beautiful, Ash Well, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I'm just saying it does look No, it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
It looks like you beautiful and you'd be like, I'm so.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Sorry if you lost It's like, what, No, it's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
With context, and I'm a big fan of context.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
These are adorable. I'm a big fan. I don't have
any recollection adult and so again put these photos on
the Facebook group on socials join us now. I don't
remember what Marlon and Lola were wearing when they came home.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
They definitely had that stripey colored blanket.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I can't wait to see what you should make shirts
than that that look like that, and we and people
would and.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
It should just say, you know, this is.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Where's your birth certificate for the kids?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
He's good, He's very good.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
I don't even know where mine is.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Actually I do know who mine is now because it
was like, here's your birth I was like, you have that?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Where did you find that?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
What about your wedding certificate?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
It's probably in the family filing cabinet somewhere wherever that
is above the fridge. It's under a bar, under a key.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
And I was cleaning out the room upstairs which will
be the nursery for Poppy. I did find Marley's little medical.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
On the risk thing on the foot as well.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, yeah, it's just like Marley May was born. But
I was like it not, I like it, Linda, great idea.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I April kept the belly button that drops off because
you know how you pegging it?
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Oh my god, I'm remembering all this weirdy hint doing
the nappy peg up.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
No pegged out, I can't remember, but I was a
bit grossed out by them. And then what did she
do with it?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Eventually I threw them out. I didn't tell her she's listening.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Like beef jerky.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, I didn't try and chew on it. Did your
mum keep you forury after they cut it off?
Speaker 5 (08:23):
After it?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Because Laura just told me that Mitch Cherry's mum kept
his fory.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
That's weird that about. You know, there's nothing like love
between a mother and so it's much I can put
that in the band. Come on, what's wrong? And what's wrong?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
With people unless they really get a good hold of cloning,
and it's like, hey, thank god, I've got that bit
of dried up jerky foreskin.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I have something really quickly.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
This is still housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I don't know anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
We're just housekeeping is done. It's over finished. That's it, guys,
not forever. But today, just down, just really quickly. Just
as a parent, Ash, and I'm sure you can appreciate this.
Maybe the listeners are unaware. You have to be very
careful as a parent with what you say to your
children because they will believe anything.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
And it's hard for children to decipher what is a
joke and what is serious.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yes, Like when I said it to you, I was like,
when are they going to work out what sarcasm is?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Idiots figure it out.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Turns out Marley hasn't figured it out.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah, neither of my kids.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I was cooking dinner, okay, and I had some sweet potato.
They were very thin, very long. One had a bit
of a vein on it.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I'm referring to a video on the internet where she
had a really girth.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
It's thick.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
It's a boy a Vaine running down it.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
So they weren't the ones that I had, weren't.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Quite as It's okay, they're come in different sizes.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
But Molly was like what is this? And I was like,
this is a sweet potato and she's like, what is
what is that? Where does it come from? And I
thought it would be funny to say, well, actually it's
a pig's penis. Yeah, okay, I don't know because I'm fucking.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Twelve, and also it's entertaining for us.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And she was like really and I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
these coming from the farm. They're from the pigs. And
not my best joke.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
No, I think it's great.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I love it because she would have confused the shit
out of her.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, she was like, the cogs were turning anyway before
I could have the chance to say, it's actually just
from the guard and they grow on the ground. It's
a vegetable. I then got carried away with cooking. I
forgot to correct her. She is now telling people everyone,
it's like newsday.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
She was like, well, guess what I found out?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I say something weird. She's telling everyone. She's just like
the town was like, hey, what what have you been telling?
Marley and I was like, what do you mean. It's
like I picked her up the other day. She's telling
my kids that you guys eating pigs peanises, like what
And I was like, oh, fuck, that's right.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I was like Marley.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
And so then she was like, you lied to me.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
And I was like, ah, it was the Joe.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
It's a joke.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
It was meant to be a joke, Like it was
I played a trick on you. That's what it's meant
to be. And it's like sometimes you're like you feel
bad for about one second. You're the entertainment of it all.
Like I was putting that table together in the new
place that we sat at you the other day, and
I was like putting the legs on, and she's like,
what are you doing? I was like making a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
And she just took off.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
She's like, it's got such a weird diet.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I know ummies, And I was like that was for me,
that was funny. She's confused, and I still haven't corrected her.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So we're still going on.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Every time you sit at a table, she's gonna be like,
is dad gonna start eating it? Is he gonna start.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I'm just speaking about Macy really quickly good segu as
she has learnt to say her full name because you know,
she's not a great talker.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
She's still she's a woman of few words.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, she doesn't talk very much. Also, she's got she
can't say el, so she said a lego. She's like, yeah,
goom corn on the COB's.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
But I got her to say her full name because
I was like, oh to see. First of all, she
thought her middle.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Name was the same as Oscars, which is William. She's like,
thank you, mind's William to in the middle my grandfather
Billy William William Bill.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I was like, those names don't match.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
William, Matthew Wicks, Matthew, a little bit of Matthew me too.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Did you want some more? Sorry?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Yes, please? The internet?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Would I apologize?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
The internet is just about die and anyway, So I
got her to say her name. I just thought it
was really you. I don't want to show you just
just for just for the part of it.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I wanted to show you because I thought it was
really cute.
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Full legal name, sweet, full legal name, sweet.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Like Yoda.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
And I was just so she cried, how did you
ever read of chocolate?
Speaker 5 (13:31):
For that?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Her voice is so cute melts my inside.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
We're in the car the other day, and this lead
me into my just quick other thing, my quick observation
that I saw before we move on. So we're in
the car and so you came over to my place
the other day and you drive down that really long road,
a long narrow being lake, you know, and there's the
path of wakers parkway actually trying is it?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Wacers drive ignore me?
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I will, And there's a people walk around the lake.
It's lovely. It's a beautiful, beautiful run.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
But I noticed the other day only because of Macy
spotted her. She was like, look a cat and she said,
look two cats And I was like what And I
look over there's dry me crazy forever. Two people not
walking their cats on this path.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
They had them in baby carriage, baby beyond baby.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
It's not like a front mount front mounted two cats.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Like a couple like this.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Cats are like, yeah, so there's.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Two people two cats.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Think about that just for say, and it's got the
thing over the front.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Did they look?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
They look?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Honestly, I didn't get that. Good is eighty k's I
did slow down to like forty they were like forty
years old.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Good of great eyes.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
She's got well, she's got.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Those young eyes. She's on that side of the car too,
because there's two car seats. Boom, she's she's spotted them
and I've slowed right down.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Freak.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Yeah, I was literally like, they're not kids.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Also, baby beyond that's that's good money.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah, they should.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
They should bring out a pet range. I'm not endorsing
that actually, because I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Care careful what you say here. That is a little bit.
I mean, can I just say I will defend pet
parents who put their pet in a walker or a
trolley type structure if the pet is too.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Old to walk. If it's too old to walk, put
that fucking thing down.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
What about you can walk?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
She's a functioning animal.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Can no need to yell.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I have told the story.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
He doesn't know what date it is.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I told the story about how my dad's dog died, right,
take it away. That dog was like eighteen okay, your
dad's dog, yeah it was. It was our family dog.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Okay, but it was dad's dog.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And the only time it would ever really get up
and about was.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
After a bath.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
That would pounce prance. It was happy after a bath,
you know what I mean? And garo, okay, you and
on our balcony was those wires, you know, the wires
that go around to keep everyone in yep, okay, the
dogs prancing, prancing, and then what it would do.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
It would rub up against the wire because it must
feel good.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Anyway, one day after a bath, really happy rubbing up
against the wire, slipped through the wires, felt two story,
two stories.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
That's a long way.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Whack on the ground.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Survived Yeah, oh.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
God, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh god. I had to pick
the dog up.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
You did, Dad had to pick the dog up, Shane.
What kind of dog was it?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
It was a strange silky terrier.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Don't know what that is.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Show dog.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Oh gosh, what a loss.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
But the poor thing, the only happy moment turned into
a catastrophic.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Fl It'd be like masturbating and then like suffocating in
the process.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Yeah, some people are into that. And then we had
to take it to the vet and put it down.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
To say thank you for sharing that story.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yeah, I just thought, what a way to go.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
How do we get onto this topic?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I don't know anyway? Moving on, Okay, cats and carriers,
what's next? Honestly, that's right.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
If your animal is too old to walk on its own,
and you want to take the animal outside for a little,
a little like you know, fresh air, if you will,
and you have to put it in a carrier, I
will allow it.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Yeah, okay, I think there needs to be some sort
of signage to say to explain it. It's what I
think you can tell on the back of the trailer
says I am not a pet parent.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
My dog can't walk, so I'm taking him out for
his daily.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Was trying to scratch itself on the balcony and fell
to stories. Sorry, sorry, I don't want to laugh at it.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Also old neighbor a cat. A cat fell out of
the off their balcony seven stories.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I found it. It was alive. I had to pick
it up and take it.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
The vet survived.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Nah, they said, though, wow, you've been through all.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
We said though.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
The reason it didn't because you know, cats land on
their feet always, uh not always. Apparently they're saying that
the cat that didn't fall high enough for it to
flip background and land How hot?
Speaker 3 (18:17):
They Yeah? How high was the seven stories?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
That wasn't?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Hugh not high enough.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
No fact, seven stories is not high enough for it
had to flip on to its feet.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, And then I had to break the news to say,
who's saying this? The vet?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
He's an idiot like her. Thank you. Women can be
vets too.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Also I had to tell I had to tell the
old guy that his cat died. And then all of
a sudden, I'm buddy comforting a sixty five year old
man crying on my shoulder.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
I'm like, bro, it's a cat. Oh my god, is
a dog off about it?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Moving on, moving on, just really quickly. We are going
to speak to Laura in just a second. She is
she's currently getting her hair done. Must be nice. This
is by the time this comes out, the baby would
have arrived. We're recording this right now on a Tuesday.
The baby is booked in to be induced tomorrow at
eight thirty am.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Wow, so we will How should I get there?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I think nine o'clock. I've allowed guests from nine o'clock.
You've got front row reserved. Yes, I wonder who's going
to be there?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Just me?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I think Alicia's coming, Laura's sister.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Great, okay, cool?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
And so this will be the final word from Laura,
her last little interview before she gets split into by
a tiny human.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Well said, well put. Also, I was thinking about go
on putting well said on a T shirt.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
All so every little saying that we come up with,
I swear hamishnandiev. I know, I just really quickly want
to talk about how disappointing it is as a parent
when you invest not just the money but the time
for your child to play a sport that that they
(20:02):
end up hating.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
That's all about whether it goes good or bad on
that day.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
And you know, soccer was such a great idea at
the time. We had a little soccer ball around the
house and Lola just loved to kick that football. Gosh,
she was into it. And we thought, we're gonna do
this little little soccer clinic on the weekend. Great coming
in the back end of winter and Centennial Park, what
a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Actually lovely spring mornings.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Great afterwards. Man, it is like I'm dragging her to
the depths of hell. Every Sunday morning. She hates it
so much. We do it for them. She wakes up
and she's like, what day is it? And I'm like
it's a Sunday and she's like it's a soccer day.
(20:52):
And I'm like, it is a soccer day. And she's like,
don't make me go. I'm like, oh, for God's sake.
And there's another friend that we've made there and we
enjoy going together. And I think I'm going to blame
the coach. Od no, we got he's out. We've got
a new one, a new one. He's Spanish.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
He's very strict.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And I just want to remind people and if you're
a coach of a young soccer team, take note, like,
you don't have to drill into these kids rules and
to be perfect. You're not teaching messy here. You're teaching
a four year old.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Let them just have fun to a degree.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
He rules with an iron fist and he pits the
kids against each other.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I'm really liking what you're putting down for this guy.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I'm actually all about this so well.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
He does this game where you get two groups of kids.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Right, it's called soccer. You shut the fuck up, Like
two teams.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Two teams. Every kid has, every kid has a number.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
You are just literally describing the game of football.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
Hang on.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
He then calls number one. Okay, they number ones. Then
they run up two teams. They both run into the pitch.
He throws a ball. They have to then battle it
out like gladiators to fight for the ball to then
score a goal. Okay, the issue is the kids that
have been doing soccer for a long time. Oh it's
just starting out.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Man, what age group?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
She four?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
So how have they been doing it for a long time?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
They're all four because the kids have been there since
they were two.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Wow, that's commitment.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Are some of the boys? Yeah they are. The European
kids are like they rock up in their football boots already.
Lola's just there and like her slippers.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
None of them could swim though, thank you.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
I needed that. And Lola hates how competitive it is.
Hates it.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
She strikes me as a competitive not bro.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Really not the moment you start fighting against another kid,
the coaches there giving them fucking knives and he's like,
all right, you're the wins scored a goal, and I'm like,
you just there's no need for this.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
To the death.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
All they want to do is just kick the ball
into the net. So I'm paying this crazy amount of
money and I end up just I kicked the ball
with Lola, like just by ourselves, and I'm paying like
a hundred bucks for it.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah, and they really wrench it on the sport. Hey,
oh dude, the only like for Oscar. With jiu jitsu,
he was like hating it. And now last night he
was like, I want to do it every day. And
it was like, oh thank god, because I was like,
I'm I'm throw I said to him, I'm throwing money
down the toilet here because you wanted to go.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
You went.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
You had one bad day out of all the good days,
and all of a sudden you hang on to that.
So the anxiety gets to him on the way, which
is fine, and I'm like, you're allowed to be anxious.
Everyone is anxious before they do things. You just don't
know the unexpected.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I just want her to have a little win, a
win on the pitch.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
That's all she needs. I reckon, that's all she needs, bro.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
And she gets there. Soon as she gets one ball
taken away from her, she's like I'm out.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
It was like oscool with rugby union. He was like
he got tackled and I'm like, that's footy.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Just again, Coaches, if you're listening to this, if they're
four years or if they're under six, just make it fun, right.
Everyone's a winner. If you touch the ball, you win.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Is is he a parent? I don't know. Probably No,
I don't reckon he is. I reckon he's just a
soccer fanatic.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, yeah, we've got this coach the team. You're fun.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yeah, I'm doing at the moment with all the kids,
all the kids who aren't good enough he's got. He's
got two kids that are great. I take the rest
of them. I'm at the pied piper of the bad
kids who can't kick football, and I'm there like encouraging
them and having fun with them. Meanwhile, Lionel Messi and
here's another football player, Ronaldo.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Which one?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Shut up?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
I think you should be a pioneer and just go
listen here.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Like Stuve Ross or.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Something something Spanish.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
It's racist, is it?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
What's a common Spanish name? You just go step aside,
Sunny Jim.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm paying a hundred fucking bucks a lesson. I'm not
going to then pay that money to then coach the class.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
What do you want from me?
Speaker 3 (25:13):
We just want to see, We just want to know
how you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
And we've been trying to get you on the podcast
for so bloody long.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
There's a couple of bones to pick.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Okay, well, I'm having a baby tomorrow, so I'm glad
that we've left it to the very last minute.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Strategically, this could bring on labor.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
This could be so uncomfortable for you. Like a stretching sweep,
it might bring on labor.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I do love a good stretch and sweep.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
How are you feeling, In all honesty.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
I am at the end of my tether at the moment.
I feel as though I'm having a near death experience
and there is something inside me that's crushing all my
internal organs and it's trying to exit through my pubic bone.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
So you're not horny.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
She's really trying to rush this podcast along. She just
gave us a full spiel.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
It was so good.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
I would really, really like I would have said that
this was my easiest pregnancy up until about three weeks ago,
and now it is my worst.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And you know that we we did call an expert
about do you first have a parenting podcast?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Do we We talk a lot of topics other than parenting.
This episode has been mostly about dying pets.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
A few pets have died one more time out of
the table. You're going with him.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
We've tried everything to have that's the cake. O. I thought.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
He's made this kid a birthday cake.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Why guys making cakes? Stop pretending like you actually.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Does that job.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Laura, Yeah right, this is this. This is the sort
of thing.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Is it not amazing?
Speaker 4 (26:48):
There you go, Poppy, this is all for you. Daddy's
been baking.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
You're welcome.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
I don't think Pop, we can hear.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah. So if that baby comes out of Siliac, you're
all good.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I just learned that word today. That's why I've used it.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
It's like, Celia is really bad.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I thought Celiac had something to do with your spine
until I realized it was that scolio. I gotta laugh.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Just that your internal thoughts coming out externally.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
That's nothing.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
We already touched the side.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
What were we talking about the other day? My place?
And you're no, it was here, and you're like, it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Bennett the last name, Oh yeah, double double N, double t,
and you're like, your brain.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
We had doctor Bennett on and that's that's what I
came out. That's the biggest takeaway.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Was Okay, is doctor Bennett connected?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
She said?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
She said way back, we should have sex because the
semen is going to help bring the baby out.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
So apparently the amount of semen that you actually need
to bring on labor is akin to a liita.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Is it like that?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
How you would need for there to be enough hormones
in the semen that does bring on labor? And let's
women have told me to be fair about it's been
banking here for a while.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
It needs more troops in there, you know what I mean.
It's like tugger war. Get in there, unload the leaders
worth the seeming in there, and pull that baby out.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
We got to get to work.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Then.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
I would like to unsubscribe.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Honestly, this is for Laura to talk about her she's
having a hard time. I would like to know, friend
of friend, husband and wife, how are you feeling about
what life will be like with three children in the mix?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Some days I'm really excited about it. And then some
days when both kids are not listening and we're both
annoyed at each other, I'm like, Wow, this is going
to be a lot, like we're going back into the trenches.
But also I feel like we know what we're in
for because we've now done it. We're like old ducks
at this parenting business.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
But when I'm freaking out.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
That's a fools game going in.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I know, I know, but I do feel I think
we are going to be okay. I think.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But when I feel like we're not going to be okay,
I can't say anything because I'm like, I don't want
to make a spiral. Oh and I'm like, Laura, what fuck?
Speaker 4 (29:06):
How often do you think this?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Daily?
Speaker 4 (29:10):
He rings me and tells me every day you are
the more positive person, Like, I'm very realistic. I don't
say that. I feel like I'm more realistic about I'm like,
it's you know, it's like it's going to be hard
for a year, it's going to be or not a year.
Six months is going to be hard. But like the
girls are so excited. And when we had Lola, they
were so close in age that we just had two
(29:31):
babies in nappies at different ages. That was really really hard.
Whereas like I feel like now, at least the gap
is going to be good for us.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
It'd be interesting to see what the dynamic turns into
with the third with the two girls, how that's going
to go.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
I think Laula's gonna get really jealous.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That's what I'm prepared for.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Jealousy. Because she is still even though she is you know,
gives Matt some time a day these days, which is
more than she did six months ago. She's still very
much like seeks me out in every occasion, like morning's
first thing, it's like, where's mummy. I want mummy to
do this, or Mummy to brush my hair. I want
me to brush my teeth.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Even at nighttime she'll say she knows that she can't
have you in her bed and she can't come into
our bed, so she'll say, Dad, come over here, I'll
go in to bed with her, fall asleep.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
I shouldn't do Yeah, you shouldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
But then within an hour, Lola's like, you can leave.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
She said, can you get out of my bed?
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
This morning she woke up and like Matt, Matt goes
in and he goes to comfortable and then he always
falls a sleep within five minutes, which we're trying. I'm
trying to sleep train Matt not to do that and
to come back to the bed. But anyway, this morning
she woke up and Dad was still in bed with her,
and she was like, enough, get the fuck out of
my bed. So there was a tangrum about the fact
that Matt was still in there. I think we're fine.
I actually think we are not prepared enough. And the
(30:41):
indication of that would be the fact that the bassinette
is still still has not been assembled. We don't have
a car seat yet, so there's actually no way of
bringing the baby back from the hospital.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
I'll do it, Tomura.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
We have not assembled the pram.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
You did say that you were buying the car seat.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yeah, and then I remembered I was pregnant one and
you're not. So I just didn't go and get it,
and she just full just.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I did poke my head into the room that's meant
to be the nation.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
We don't have a nursery reformer in there.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Looks great, so you just PLoP the baby down on
the reformer and the doctor tot on the foot.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I am going to shredded.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Maybe this is the thing like when you have three,
you also realize like how little preparation you actually need
because they're in your room for so long. So I'm like, oh,
we have four months to get I haven't even packed
a hospital bag and I'm being induced in the morning,
So I'm going upstairs after this to pack a hospital back.
Holy hell, Buster did just fart under the table and
it's punchy.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I can't wait for four After four months and we're
having this conversation, there's no bram.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
I've always wondered how how nervous are you about childbirth?
It is absolutely horrific what women have to go through.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
I mean, yeah, thank you, it is at times. But
also I am having an epidural and I did speak
to my obstetric I was like, because when when I
had it last time, they told me that I had
to be an establish labor in order to have the epidural,
which you know when you've been induced, inductions can be
a lot more intense with labor, and it was awful.
(32:10):
I was like, why do I have to Why do
I have to experience this absolute horror show and then
have the epidural. And I was speaking to my obstetrician.
He was like, oh, you can have the epidural straight
away if you want to this time. Now, I'm going
to arrive in the car park, go upstairs and be
like epidurol first and then break water. Speaking to your
sister and Kate had the same thing done, so I'm
(32:33):
not I'm actually not. I don't know. I'm not not
scared of the birth part, like it feels like I'm
about to run a marathon. But I think because I'm
so uncomfortable at this point, like I honestly feel like
I'm a whale on land that's trying to walk, that
I'm quite happy about going through the birthing part. And
also there's this weird sick thing that happens because you
have such a dope meine rush afterwards that it's like
(32:55):
it's like you want it, like it's like exciting. It's
like an addict have another baby.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
How are we feeling about Poppy versus Penny?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Oh, I'm still I'm still team Poppy. Yeah you too,
for other reasons, Popsicle, do you like? Why don't like Penny?
Speaker 3 (33:13):
I got a wager with my wife and that's Poppy.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And if it's not, I've got to do a gym
class with her, and that's my man.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
And April is very fit right now.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Just want to call it a different.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Essentially, she wants to sign me up for high Rocks
or whatever.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
If I get high Rocks, my puppic flour could never
know me neither mind either my pebt, Like who's going
to be in the room with us, Alicia, and you sorry,
oh my gosh, you wouldn't even touch my stomach, let
alone look at the.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Mountains.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
You know, help, but you also are not a great
deal of help. That's why I just don't look, no,
because Matt doesn't. He doesn't like looking down the party
and I wouldn't. And he also doesn't want to cut
the umbilical cord. And he gets that hungry are very often,
so he has to go out for snacks. He does
get very it's really hungry. So so that's where my
sister's going to be there because she'll either do the sandwich.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Run I could be a snack guy.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
And then often Matt wants to film content around all
the things you shouldn't say in labor, so like quite
often we're in the labor theater still.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
But I want to come to that one.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I want to go to that one.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
That one sounds fine, but don't you think when you
think about the two berths that we've had together so far,
like Marley and Lola were absolutely far sorry, well there was.
They were like chalk and cheese, Like Marley was kind
of really stressful, and then Lola's were so easy. We
were if anything. We were trying to find things to
pass the time with because I had been in I
had the EPI durer couldn't feel anything. I wasn't in pain,
(34:39):
and we were just like waiting for eight hours for
this baby to come. And we're having a great time.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Sounds good, so more feeling of content. We're mixed.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
There's mixed signals going on here, So I'm not invited.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Do you want to come?
Speaker 3 (34:55):
I fainted in enduring an epidural, so I definitely don't
want to come.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
I'm getting kicked so bad right now.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
All right, we'll try and hurry this up.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Speaking of things that you shouldn't say during childbirth, I
thought we should do a little segment which we call
things you Shouldn't Say to a pregnant woman creative.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
I love the name of it.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Can we start with you?
Speaker 1 (35:13):
If is there any that's spring to mine? If this
is your third pregnancy that you're like this one just
comes straight at me.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Every single day someone says to me, Wow, it's gone
so fast.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
For you.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
I have seen you for six months.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Has gone quick, though, it has gone quick.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
So you were also not here for the whole first trimester.
So yeah, everyone always says like, wow, that this pregnancy
has gone fast, and it feels like it could not
have gone slow for me. Yeah, that's like especially the
last week.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, it's one of those ones where you don't yeah,
you don't know that that's the wrong things because he's like, oh,
just time's gone fars. You're sort of going you're sort
of calling out time here, not calling out like oh totally, but.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
When it's gone like especially the last couple of weeks
have gone so incredibly slow, it's just, yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I've got one go. Are you ready for your life
to be over?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Which is also not true, God that's morbid?
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Or are you ready to never sleep again? But also
not true. Otherwise if it was true, people wouldn't go
back for a third kid, Like, we know what we've done.
We've done it before twice. So I don't subscribe to
that having kids.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
No, we don't subscribe to any of this. Let's just
put that out there.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
I think there's a very obvious one, which is wow,
you look huge, which is a real fan favorite.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
That's a classic.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
I've done that one.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
I've also done I did that one to a friend
of mine before having kids myself, because at the time
I was in my early twenties, and I just expected
that it was a normal thing that pregnant people should
be huge, and therefore it wasn't an insult to tell
them that they are. I was very wrong.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
No offense to the pregnant women out there.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
You are fucking huge.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I do hope you that that gets edited out.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
That in contrast that when people say, are you sure
you're eating enough? It's not that big?
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Yeah, they're not that big. One is also weird because
then you worry that there's something wrong. So on the
like on the converse side, you know, I often get
you look the same, like your arms and legs are
the same, you just have like a belly, And then
it gives me visions of just like like an elderly
man with a pop belly, like skinny arms and legs.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Oh yeah, that makes me feel weird because I'm so aroused.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
I got one here, I go on here, And this
one's a little bit triggering. It's kind of like someone
says what you can can't eat. So for example, if
you're eating something and it's like, oh, you really shouldn't
eat that.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
Oh yeah, yeah of a fox.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
You get that a lot and everyone seems to know,
and it's always something different, like like, oh it is
that whole leg man, I've.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Been Look, I mean we've made it this fast. I
think I can admit to it. I've been really lacks
this pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I have smoking.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
See you're smoking out.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
That Like my number one craving this pregnancy is been
ham And you're not meant to eat hair, but I've
eaten hand. It's like a stable part of my diet
that's pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Child will be half pig.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Also, I'm supposed to eat oysters, but anytime we've been
to a nice restaurant, I'm like, get a dozen, just
go for it.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
But it doesn't for me.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
But you know, you know that you're gonna get the
judging eyes.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Oh you do.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
And I feel like with each pregnancy, I've gotten more relaxed.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
So yeah, yeah, there's another one as well, which I've
got here, is you don't even look pregnant, which is
sort of like they're trying to be nice, but it's
kind of nice. Yeah, it's kind of nice. But then
it also discounts how much you've gone through up until
that point, because it's like, well, if I don't look
at very much, am fucking pregnant, and I feel like, yeah,
I feel it regardless.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Yes, I also think kids are very humbling because kids
don't have a they don't have the ability to hold back.
So Mally and Lula La have offended me many times. Yeah,
well not even accidentally. They just say what they're thinking
and it is a truth. But it doesn't need to
be said, like mom, you've got a fat bar, Like
(39:02):
why does your vagina look like that? And they'd be like,
because I'm pregnant, sweetheart, Like, just get out of the shower, like,
get out of the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Because I'm pregnant.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
I had.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
So we were in the park recently and Molly was
just telling everyone that I have purple boobs. Was walking
around the park being like, my mom's got purple boobs.
And what she meant is your nipples go dark during pregnancy,
but obviously didn't have the vocab to explain that.
Speaker 5 (39:29):
It's like.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
That goes a different car.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Yeah, Areola. I was expecting you to call it aola
or something.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
So Ariola was a Disney princess, but that's Ariel.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
Yes, yeah, the confusion. Yeah, so she told everyone, Yeah,
my nipples are purple, my boobs are purple. They're not
totally pert Actually they're actually pretty purple.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
This is the child friend.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Wow, let's let's give Laura.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
I don't think a lot of the weird pregnancy things
that happened.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
She needs a break asuance.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
That's a big one.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
What about when someone just asks, like a random ass,
if they can touch you belly?
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Too much?
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Depends on who it is. It me you tried to
make Ash touch my stomach and he was so grossed
out by it.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
You yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
It was surprising how much it upset you.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
That's because I got c stick through through aprish pregnancies.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
No, Laura, I know you you are. You've had a
lot on today. We've dragged into the podcast. It was
meant to be a quick chat. It's now become a
long chat. Sorry about that. You need to pack for tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
We haven't had one.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I've got really quick in the bag the hospital bag
I saw I saw the other day in your story
you looked very uncomfortable and very tired.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
What they doing?
Speaker 3 (40:44):
You were just you were just ready for the baby
to come out.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
That's what what story was it? Because I might have
reminded the time, So now I was rending me.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
I responded to it and said, I hope you're feeling okay, mate,
blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Left on Red you left me on I don't know,
but can.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
You get your phone because I want to notice whether damn.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
It, but it says I hope you're feeling okay, mate,
thinking of you or something like that, and you fucking
left me.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
On scene pregnant.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Also also pregnant.
Speaker 4 (41:14):
I was exhausted.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Producer has followed you for a while. No follow back
on social media, sorry, Jess.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
Also, do you know what I don't use social media
apart from for work. It's true.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Oh my god, now I've heard it all.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Laura, thank you for jumping on. If you've enjoyed this episode,
please we would love it if you shared it with
a friend. Tell your mom, tell your kids, tell you
I thought you were telling Laura that d tell your dog.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
Tear friends, and share the love because tomorrow morning, just
so you guys do know the timetable, we wake up,
I call the hospital at six am yep, and then
we take Alla to daycare or Kate takes all the
dayk we drop Molly at school and we go straight
to the hospital. So We're there from eight thirty am tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Check on.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
It's like checking in and when April had her last
section was planned, it was like checking into our hotel.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
I'm nervous, are you?
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Why?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
I don't know, because it's a fucking big deal.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
How do you feel about going to number three?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
I mean we're just about to wrap the podcast.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
Sorry, but I feel like you're actually being honest about
it for once.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I'm just myself.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I'm just I don't know
what we're going to get this baby obviously a child.
As a child, need to explain it's going to be
an easy child, a hard child. I mean, what's it
going to do for us?
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Probably nothing? It's a baby.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
What do you want this sentence?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
I'm so excited. I just I just give in to
us or for I just think if we get a
tricky baby, it's going to be months of hell, and
I'm like, I'm ready for that.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Sucked in.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Okay, If you have enjoyed this episode, please share it
with someone who you think might enjoy.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
I think everyone's just confused.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
If you would like to follow us on social media,
you can do that Instagram, else, TikTok, Facebook and now
YouTube full episodes you giving me the y m C
A dance.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
Impressed by you guys now with YouTube and all.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah, we're just following in your footsteps.
Speaker 4 (43:18):
And this camera set up is elite, just compliments.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
I think that's it. I think that's everything.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
All right, we'll best of for me to you, best
of luck to both of you. Tomorrow I will be
thinking I won't message you, but I.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Will write back to you.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
And I'm excited and I'm excited. People has been he
has been very I'm just I'm just I'm nervous for you.
I'm like, holy ship, this is a big deal.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
It's a lot of mixed emotions. Let's go with mixed emotions.
But he has been very excited for the last six months.
Speaker 4 (43:49):
Oh my gosh, I get it.
Speaker 5 (43:51):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Thank God.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
All right, good bye.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
We got there.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
As a parent, Ash and I'm sure you can appreciate this.
Maybe the listeners aren't unaware, but.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
I was just getting the brief backup. Sorry, sorry, I
was getting the brief back up.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
I don't want to have to hear you.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
I would almost welcome it. I need to feel something to.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island,
the people's today. This episode was recorded on Gaddigle Land.
You did mention my T shirt when I walked in.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Is this part of the episode?
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Is this now?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This T shirt was gifted to me by my children
for Father's Day. Oh so now I get to wear
the shit aret on my chest.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome back to two doting guards. I'm Maddy Jay and
I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad and relatable
and one thing that I promise I will never do.
Actually it's a lie. Last Emi said, I gave some advice.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I know. We were like, it's not advice, but it's advice.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
We try not to give advice. Every now and then
we can't help it. We have to, like, let the
valve go seeps out. We close the valve for shut again.
It's a lovely shirt, well said, thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Yeah, look it's not Look it is ship art.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
All kids do shit art, but it's my ship art.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Who it is that you?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
It's meant to be me?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Looks like you're attacking what's the big blob on the right.
And we'll put a photo meant to.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Be a love heart. That's a mazy love heart. That
one that's cute.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
We'll put a photo up on socials, just so people
can look at the incredible creations we'll get just to
take a decent photo and by your kids. What's those
shirts that excel It's a big I like a big shirt.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
You A big shirt means not as.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Big as you were a few months ago.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I have lost a little bit of weight.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah, are you going to start? It's a parasite moving
to Is a parasite gone?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, yeah, it is gone. How did you get rid
of it?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I ate a lot of raw garlic, yeah, trust me,
So let me just give you the concoction.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Please.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Is this housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
This is not housekeeping. We will go in housekeeping.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
This is this is cooking with ash.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So there's a couple of things that you can do.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Please.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Raw garlic, yep, seems to.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Be the most impactful because you could feel it happening.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So what you do is you chop up the garlic.
But what you mix it with honey to attract the parasite.
Then they eat the garlic and die.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Parasites don't like garlic.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I don't like garlic.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
They vampires.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yes, they also only come out at night and love blood.
And the thing is that the garlic won't kill the
eggs though, because there's already eggs in you within with
in with instchew, yes, what said?
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Made that up?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And then you need to have something like papya seeds,
but not chewed.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
You can't chew them. They got to be there to
kill the eggs.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
How does papya seeds?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Not a scientist?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
I just went who's told you this?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
And then walnuts and pumpkin seeds?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
How does April go at nighttime when you guys have
a little bit of a.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
You know chest?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
She goes, good, don't you? Ah, that's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Sorry, once you've had the garlic. Because if I have garlic,
it's seeped out of me.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I tell you right now. She didn't come to him
that a parasite and I didn't have the energy I
would have found it.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
No, No, I didn't have the energy.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Let's go on a house keep. Let's go to housekeeping.
I got something for you. I have something for you.
Oh yeah, okay, wait, there, don't go anywhere. I would
never This is from live, she says, Hey, guys love
the pod shuckers, especially especially the ones where you talk shit.
I'm absolutely here for it. Anyway, probably many episodes ago,
(03:30):
Ash had a story about some concerning play behavior he
observed from Macy. I believe the term was serial killer
may have been coined.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Was it the shark?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
No, it was when she was hiding body parts. Do
you remember, Oh, she.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Was hiding the Lego body part. Yes, well, there's still
a bunch of heads missing.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
It reminded me of a confronting scene i'd witnessed from
my five year old daughter hiding up her room one day.
I found a poorly plotted gravy of doll torsos until
I finally stumbled upon the final resting place of the
doll's limbs. Oh my goodness, in particular the legs stuffed
(04:11):
into a small pot or cup. When I interrogated said
daughter on her secret shame, she told me it was
a bucket of drumsticks. I'm still wrestling with how I
feel about this, and she's put some photos in Oh.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
No, oh my looks so creepy. It does look like drumsticks.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
A bit go down, I found a cup of Lego
heads and water frozen in the freezer.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah, so now she's found out how to preserve body.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Really quickly. The cat Raspberry likes to kill little lizards
and she will sometimes bring them inside your cats, you know, like,
look what I've brought for you. Master. One of these
lizards was a bit old, half decade and so some
of the bones were sticking out, and Lola was just obsessed.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
She was like, oh, speaker was his listen.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I'm talking like you can see it's not a dragon,
and yeah, because it was an old lizard, so have
the rib cage. Sorry, I referenced, we're talking like one
of those ten centimeter lizards. And Lola was fascinated by
the bones, and I was like, she's Jeffrey Darba.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Oh yes, just it sell and take some pictures.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Houski, what do you got.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I've got one for you from Linda.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
This must go back from when we were talking about
the pregnancy tests and like things people keep from childbirth,
et cetera. She said, I kept my pregnancy tests and
they are now mounted in a frame along with the
outfit they came home from the hospital, in the hospital wristband,
the birth certificate, et cetera. They are both hung in
our living room with no con takes. These photos look
(06:01):
like there's going to be a bit more. But if
you went to this person's house with no context, and
you saw that, you'd think that they lost both babies,
Like Linda, I know, it's beautiful, Ash Well, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I'm just saying it does look No, it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
It looks like you beautiful and you'd be like, I'm so.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Sorry if you lost It's like, what, No, it's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
With context, and I'm a big fan of context.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
These are adorable. I'm a big fan. I don't have
any recollection adult and so again put these photos on
the Facebook group on socials join us now. I don't
remember what Marlon and Lola were wearing when they came home.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
They definitely had that stripey colored blanket.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I can't wait to see what you should make shirts
than that that look like that, and we and people
would and.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
It should just say, you know, this is.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Where's your birth certificate for the kids?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
He's good, He's very good.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
I don't even know where mine is.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Actually I do know who mine is now because it
was like, here's your birth I was like, you have that?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Where did you find that?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
What about your wedding certificate?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
It's probably in the family filing cabinet somewhere wherever that
is above the fridge. It's under a bar, under a key.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
And I was cleaning out the room upstairs which will
be the nursery for Poppy. I did find Marley's little medical.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
On the risk thing on the foot as well.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, yeah, it's just like Marley May was born. But
I was like it not, I like it, Linda, great idea.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I April kept the belly button that drops off because
you know how you pegging it?
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Oh my god, I'm remembering all this weirdy hint doing
the nappy peg up.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
No pegged out, I can't remember, but I was a
bit grossed out by them. And then what did she
do with it?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Eventually I threw them out. I didn't tell her she's listening.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Like beef jerky.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, I didn't try and chew on it. Did your
mum keep you forury after they cut it off?
Speaker 5 (08:23):
After it?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Because Laura just told me that Mitch Cherry's mum kept
his fory.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
That's weird that about. You know, there's nothing like love
between a mother and so it's much I can put
that in the band. Come on, what's wrong? And what's wrong?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
With people unless they really get a good hold of cloning,
and it's like, hey, thank god, I've got that bit
of dried up jerky foreskin.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I have something really quickly.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
This is still housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I don't know anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
We're just housekeeping is done. It's over finished. That's it, guys,
not forever. But today, just down, just really quickly. Just
as a parent, Ash, and I'm sure you can appreciate this.
Maybe the listeners are unaware. You have to be very
careful as a parent with what you say to your
children because they will believe anything.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
And it's hard for children to decipher what is a
joke and what is serious.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yes, Like when I said it to you, I was like,
when are they going to work out what sarcasm is?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Idiots figure it out.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Turns out Marley hasn't figured it out.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah, neither of my kids.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I was cooking dinner, okay, and I had some sweet potato.
They were very thin, very long. One had a bit
of a vein on it.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I'm referring to a video on the internet where she
had a really girth.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
It's thick.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
It's a boy a Vaine running down it.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
So they weren't the ones that I had, weren't.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Quite as It's okay, they're come in different sizes.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
But Molly was like what is this? And I was like,
this is a sweet potato and she's like, what is
what is that? Where does it come from? And I
thought it would be funny to say, well, actually it's
a pig's penis. Yeah, okay, I don't know because I'm fucking.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Twelve, and also it's entertaining for us.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And she was like really and I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
these coming from the farm. They're from the pigs. And
not my best joke.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
No, I think it's great.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I love it because she would have confused the shit
out of her.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, she was like, the cogs were turning anyway before
I could have the chance to say, it's actually just
from the guard and they grow on the ground. It's
a vegetable. I then got carried away with cooking. I
forgot to correct her. She is now telling people everyone,
it's like newsday.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
She was like, well, guess what I found out?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I say something weird. She's telling everyone. She's just like
the town was like, hey, what what have you been telling?
Marley and I was like, what do you mean. It's
like I picked her up the other day. She's telling
my kids that you guys eating pigs peanises, like what
And I was like, oh, fuck, that's right.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I was like Marley.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
And so then she was like, you lied to me.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
And I was like, ah, it was the Joe.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
It's a joke.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
It was meant to be a joke, Like it was
I played a trick on you. That's what it's meant
to be. And it's like sometimes you're like you feel
bad for about one second. You're the entertainment of it all.
Like I was putting that table together in the new
place that we sat at you the other day, and
I was like putting the legs on, and she's like,
what are you doing? I was like making a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
And she just took off.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
She's like, it's got such a weird diet.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I know ummies, And I was like that was for me,
that was funny. She's confused, and I still haven't corrected her.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So we're still going on.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Every time you sit at a table, she's gonna be like,
is dad gonna start eating it? Is he gonna start.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I'm just speaking about Macy really quickly good segu as
she has learnt to say her full name because you know,
she's not a great talker.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
She's still she's a woman of few words.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, she doesn't talk very much. Also, she's got she
can't say el, so she said a lego. She's like, yeah,
goom corn on the COB's.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
But I got her to say her full name because
I was like, oh to see. First of all, she
thought her middle.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Name was the same as Oscars, which is William. She's like,
thank you, mind's William to in the middle my grandfather
Billy William William Bill.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I was like, those names don't match.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
William, Matthew Wicks, Matthew, a little bit of Matthew me too.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Did you want some more? Sorry?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Yes, please? The internet?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Would I apologize?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
The internet is just about die and anyway, So I
got her to say her name. I just thought it
was really you. I don't want to show you just
just for just for the part of it.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I wanted to show you because I thought it was
really cute.
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Full legal name, sweet, full legal name, sweet.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Like Yoda.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
And I was just so she cried, how did you
ever read of chocolate?
Speaker 5 (13:31):
For that?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Her voice is so cute melts my inside.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
We're in the car the other day, and this lead
me into my just quick other thing, my quick observation
that I saw before we move on. So we're in
the car and so you came over to my place
the other day and you drive down that really long road,
a long narrow being lake, you know, and there's the
path of wakers parkway actually trying is it?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Wacers drive ignore me?
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I will, And there's a people walk around the lake.
It's lovely. It's a beautiful, beautiful run.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
But I noticed the other day only because of Macy
spotted her. She was like, look a cat and she said,
look two cats And I was like what And I
look over there's dry me crazy forever. Two people not
walking their cats on this path.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
They had them in baby carriage, baby beyond baby.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
It's not like a front mount front mounted two cats.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Like a couple like this.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Cats are like, yeah, so there's.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Two people two cats.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Think about that just for say, and it's got the
thing over the front.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Did they look?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
They look?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Honestly, I didn't get that. Good is eighty k's I
did slow down to like forty they were like forty
years old.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Good of great eyes.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
She's got well, she's got.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Those young eyes. She's on that side of the car too,
because there's two car seats. Boom, she's she's spotted them
and I've slowed right down.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Freak.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Yeah, I was literally like, they're not kids.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Also, baby beyond that's that's good money.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah, they should.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
They should bring out a pet range. I'm not endorsing
that actually, because I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Care careful what you say here. That is a little bit.
I mean, can I just say I will defend pet
parents who put their pet in a walker or a
trolley type structure if the pet is too.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Old to walk. If it's too old to walk, put
that fucking thing down.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
What about you can walk?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
She's a functioning animal.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Can no need to yell.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I have told the story.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
He doesn't know what date it is.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I told the story about how my dad's dog died, right,
take it away. That dog was like eighteen okay, your
dad's dog, yeah it was. It was our family dog.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Okay, but it was dad's dog.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And the only time it would ever really get up
and about was.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
After a bath.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
That would pounce prance. It was happy after a bath,
you know what I mean? And garo, okay, you and
on our balcony was those wires, you know, the wires
that go around to keep everyone in yep, okay, the
dogs prancing, prancing, and then what it would do.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
It would rub up against the wire because it must
feel good.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Anyway, one day after a bath, really happy rubbing up
against the wire, slipped through the wires, felt two story,
two stories.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
That's a long way.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Whack on the ground.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Survived Yeah, oh.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
God, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh god. I had to pick
the dog up.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
You did, Dad had to pick the dog up, Shane.
What kind of dog was it?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
It was a strange silky terrier.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Don't know what that is.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Show dog.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Oh gosh, what a loss.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
But the poor thing, the only happy moment turned into
a catastrophic.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Fl It'd be like masturbating and then like suffocating in
the process.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Yeah, some people are into that. And then we had
to take it to the vet and put it down.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
To say thank you for sharing that story.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yeah, I just thought, what a way to go.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
How do we get onto this topic?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I don't know anyway? Moving on, Okay, cats and carriers,
what's next? Honestly, that's right.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
If your animal is too old to walk on its own,
and you want to take the animal outside for a little,
a little like you know, fresh air, if you will,
and you have to put it in a carrier, I
will allow it.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Yeah, okay, I think there needs to be some sort
of signage to say to explain it. It's what I
think you can tell on the back of the trailer
says I am not a pet parent.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
My dog can't walk, so I'm taking him out for
his daily.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Was trying to scratch itself on the balcony and fell
to stories. Sorry, sorry, I don't want to laugh at it.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Also old neighbor a cat. A cat fell out of
the off their balcony seven stories.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I found it. It was alive. I had to pick
it up and take it.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
The vet survived.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Nah, they said, though, wow, you've been through all.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
We said though.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
The reason it didn't because you know, cats land on
their feet always, uh not always. Apparently they're saying that
the cat that didn't fall high enough for it to
flip background and land How hot?
Speaker 3 (18:17):
They Yeah? How high was the seven stories?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
That wasn't?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Hugh not high enough.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
No fact, seven stories is not high enough for it
had to flip on to its feet.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, And then I had to break the news to say,
who's saying this? The vet?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
He's an idiot like her. Thank you. Women can be
vets too.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Also I had to tell I had to tell the
old guy that his cat died. And then all of
a sudden, I'm buddy comforting a sixty five year old
man crying on my shoulder.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
I'm like, bro, it's a cat. Oh my god, is
a dog off about it?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Moving on, moving on, just really quickly. We are going
to speak to Laura in just a second. She is
she's currently getting her hair done. Must be nice. This
is by the time this comes out, the baby would
have arrived. We're recording this right now on a Tuesday.
The baby is booked in to be induced tomorrow at
eight thirty am.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Wow, so we will How should I get there?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I think nine o'clock. I've allowed guests from nine o'clock.
You've got front row reserved. Yes, I wonder who's going
to be there?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Just me?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I think Alicia's coming, Laura's sister.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Great, okay, cool?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
And so this will be the final word from Laura,
her last little interview before she gets split into by
a tiny human.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Well said, well put. Also, I was thinking about go
on putting well said on a T shirt.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
All so every little saying that we come up with,
I swear hamishnandiev. I know, I just really quickly want
to talk about how disappointing it is as a parent
when you invest not just the money but the time
for your child to play a sport that that they
(20:02):
end up hating.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
That's all about whether it goes good or bad on
that day.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
And you know, soccer was such a great idea at
the time. We had a little soccer ball around the
house and Lola just loved to kick that football. Gosh,
she was into it. And we thought, we're gonna do
this little little soccer clinic on the weekend. Great coming
in the back end of winter and Centennial Park, what
a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Actually lovely spring mornings.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Great afterwards. Man, it is like I'm dragging her to
the depths of hell. Every Sunday morning. She hates it
so much. We do it for them. She wakes up
and she's like, what day is it? And I'm like
it's a Sunday and she's like it's a soccer day.
(20:52):
And I'm like, it is a soccer day. And she's like,
don't make me go. I'm like, oh, for God's sake.
And there's another friend that we've made there and we
enjoy going together. And I think I'm going to blame
the coach. Od no, we got he's out. We've got
a new one, a new one. He's Spanish.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
He's very strict.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And I just want to remind people and if you're
a coach of a young soccer team, take note, like,
you don't have to drill into these kids rules and
to be perfect. You're not teaching messy here. You're teaching
a four year old.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Let them just have fun to a degree.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
He rules with an iron fist and he pits the
kids against each other.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I'm really liking what you're putting down for this guy.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I'm actually all about this so well.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
He does this game where you get two groups of kids.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Right, it's called soccer. You shut the fuck up, Like
two teams.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Two teams. Every kid has, every kid has a number.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
You are just literally describing the game of football.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
Hang on.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
He then calls number one. Okay, they number ones. Then
they run up two teams. They both run into the pitch.
He throws a ball. They have to then battle it
out like gladiators to fight for the ball to then
score a goal. Okay, the issue is the kids that
have been doing soccer for a long time. Oh it's
just starting out.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Man, what age group?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
She four?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
So how have they been doing it for a long time?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
They're all four because the kids have been there since
they were two.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Wow, that's commitment.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Are some of the boys? Yeah they are. The European
kids are like they rock up in their football boots already.
Lola's just there and like her slippers.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
None of them could swim though, thank you.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
I needed that. And Lola hates how competitive it is.
Hates it.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
She strikes me as a competitive not bro.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Really not the moment you start fighting against another kid,
the coaches there giving them fucking knives and he's like,
all right, you're the wins scored a goal, and I'm like,
you just there's no need for this.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
To the death.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
All they want to do is just kick the ball
into the net. So I'm paying this crazy amount of
money and I end up just I kicked the ball
with Lola, like just by ourselves, and I'm paying like
a hundred bucks for it.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah, and they really wrench it on the sport. Hey,
oh dude, the only like for Oscar. With jiu jitsu,
he was like hating it. And now last night he
was like, I want to do it every day. And
it was like, oh thank god, because I was like,
I'm I'm throw I said to him, I'm throwing money
down the toilet here because you wanted to go.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
You went.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
You had one bad day out of all the good days,
and all of a sudden you hang on to that.
So the anxiety gets to him on the way, which
is fine, and I'm like, you're allowed to be anxious.
Everyone is anxious before they do things. You just don't
know the unexpected.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I just want her to have a little win, a
win on the pitch.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
That's all she needs. I reckon, that's all she needs, bro.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
And she gets there. Soon as she gets one ball
taken away from her, she's like I'm out.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
It was like oscool with rugby union. He was like
he got tackled and I'm like, that's footy.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Just again, Coaches, if you're listening to this, if they're
four years or if they're under six, just make it fun, right.
Everyone's a winner. If you touch the ball, you win.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Is is he a parent? I don't know. Probably No,
I don't reckon he is. I reckon he's just a
soccer fanatic.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, yeah, we've got this coach the team. You're fun.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yeah, I'm doing at the moment with all the kids,
all the kids who aren't good enough he's got. He's
got two kids that are great. I take the rest
of them. I'm at the pied piper of the bad
kids who can't kick football, and I'm there like encouraging
them and having fun with them. Meanwhile, Lionel Messi and
here's another football player, Ronaldo.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Which one?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Shut up?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
I think you should be a pioneer and just go
listen here.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Like Stuve Ross or.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Something something Spanish.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
It's racist, is it?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
What's a common Spanish name? You just go step aside,
Sunny Jim.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm paying a hundred fucking bucks a lesson. I'm not
going to then pay that money to then coach the class.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
What do you want from me?
Speaker 3 (25:13):
We just want to see, We just want to know
how you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
And we've been trying to get you on the podcast
for so bloody long.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
There's a couple of bones to pick.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Okay, well, I'm having a baby tomorrow, so I'm glad
that we've left it to the very last minute.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Strategically, this could bring on labor.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
This could be so uncomfortable for you. Like a stretching sweep,
it might bring on labor.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I do love a good stretch and sweep.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
How are you feeling, In all honesty.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
I am at the end of my tether at the moment.
I feel as though I'm having a near death experience
and there is something inside me that's crushing all my
internal organs and it's trying to exit through my pubic bone.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
So you're not horny.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
She's really trying to rush this podcast along. She just
gave us a full spiel.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
It was so good.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
I would really, really like I would have said that
this was my easiest pregnancy up until about three weeks ago,
and now it is my worst.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And you know that we we did call an expert
about do you first have a parenting podcast?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Do we We talk a lot of topics other than parenting.
This episode has been mostly about dying pets.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
A few pets have died one more time out of
the table. You're going with him.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
We've tried everything to have that's the cake. O. I thought.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
He's made this kid a birthday cake.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Why guys making cakes? Stop pretending like you actually.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Does that job.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Laura, Yeah right, this is this. This is the sort
of thing.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Is it not amazing?
Speaker 4 (26:48):
There you go, Poppy, this is all for you. Daddy's
been baking.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
You're welcome.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
I don't think Pop, we can hear.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah. So if that baby comes out of Siliac, you're
all good.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I just learned that word today. That's why I've used it.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
It's like, Celia is really bad.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I thought Celiac had something to do with your spine
until I realized it was that scolio. I gotta laugh.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Just that your internal thoughts coming out externally.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
That's nothing.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
We already touched the side.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
What were we talking about the other day? My place?
And you're no, it was here, and you're like, it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Bennett the last name, Oh yeah, double double N, double t,
and you're like, your brain.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
We had doctor Bennett on and that's that's what I
came out. That's the biggest takeaway.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Was Okay, is doctor Bennett connected?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
She said?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
She said way back, we should have sex because the
semen is going to help bring the baby out.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
So apparently the amount of semen that you actually need
to bring on labor is akin to a liita.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Is it like that?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
How you would need for there to be enough hormones
in the semen that does bring on labor? And let's
women have told me to be fair about it's been
banking here for a while.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
It needs more troops in there, you know what I mean.
It's like tugger war. Get in there, unload the leaders
worth the seeming in there, and pull that baby out.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
We got to get to work.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Then.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
I would like to unsubscribe.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Honestly, this is for Laura to talk about her she's
having a hard time. I would like to know, friend
of friend, husband and wife, how are you feeling about
what life will be like with three children in the mix?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Some days I'm really excited about it. And then some
days when both kids are not listening and we're both
annoyed at each other, I'm like, Wow, this is going
to be a lot, like we're going back into the trenches.
But also I feel like we know what we're in
for because we've now done it. We're like old ducks
at this parenting business.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
But when I'm freaking out.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
That's a fools game going in.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I know, I know, but I do feel I think
we are going to be okay. I think.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But when I feel like we're not going to be okay,
I can't say anything because I'm like, I don't want
to make a spiral. Oh and I'm like, Laura, what fuck?
Speaker 4 (29:06):
How often do you think this?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Daily?
Speaker 4 (29:10):
He rings me and tells me every day you are
the more positive person, Like, I'm very realistic. I don't
say that. I feel like I'm more realistic about I'm like,
it's you know, it's like it's going to be hard
for a year, it's going to be or not a year.
Six months is going to be hard. But like the
girls are so excited. And when we had Lola, they
were so close in age that we just had two
(29:31):
babies in nappies at different ages. That was really really hard.
Whereas like I feel like now, at least the gap
is going to be good for us.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
It'd be interesting to see what the dynamic turns into
with the third with the two girls, how that's going
to go.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
I think Laula's gonna get really jealous.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That's what I'm prepared for.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Jealousy. Because she is still even though she is you know,
gives Matt some time a day these days, which is
more than she did six months ago. She's still very
much like seeks me out in every occasion, like morning's
first thing, it's like, where's mummy. I want mummy to
do this, or Mummy to brush my hair. I want
me to brush my teeth.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Even at nighttime she'll say she knows that she can't
have you in her bed and she can't come into
our bed, so she'll say, Dad, come over here, I'll
go in to bed with her, fall asleep.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
I shouldn't do Yeah, you shouldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
But then within an hour, Lola's like, you can leave.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
She said, can you get out of my bed?
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
This morning she woke up and like Matt, Matt goes
in and he goes to comfortable and then he always
falls a sleep within five minutes, which we're trying. I'm
trying to sleep train Matt not to do that and
to come back to the bed. But anyway, this morning
she woke up and Dad was still in bed with her,
and she was like, enough, get the fuck out of
my bed. So there was a tangrum about the fact
that Matt was still in there. I think we're fine.
I actually think we are not prepared enough. And the
(30:41):
indication of that would be the fact that the bassinette
is still still has not been assembled. We don't have
a car seat yet, so there's actually no way of
bringing the baby back from the hospital.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
I'll do it, Tomura.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
We have not assembled the pram.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
You did say that you were buying the car seat.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yeah, and then I remembered I was pregnant one and
you're not. So I just didn't go and get it,
and she just full just.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I did poke my head into the room that's meant
to be the nation.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
We don't have a nursery reformer in there.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Looks great, so you just PLoP the baby down on
the reformer and the doctor tot on the foot.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I am going to shredded.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Maybe this is the thing like when you have three,
you also realize like how little preparation you actually need
because they're in your room for so long. So I'm like, oh,
we have four months to get I haven't even packed
a hospital bag and I'm being induced in the morning,
So I'm going upstairs after this to pack a hospital back.
Holy hell, Buster did just fart under the table and
it's punchy.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I can't wait for four After four months and we're
having this conversation, there's no bram.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
I've always wondered how how nervous are you about childbirth?
It is absolutely horrific what women have to go through.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
I mean, yeah, thank you, it is at times. But
also I am having an epidural and I did speak
to my obstetric I was like, because when when I
had it last time, they told me that I had
to be an establish labor in order to have the epidural,
which you know when you've been induced, inductions can be
a lot more intense with labor, and it was awful.
(32:10):
I was like, why do I have to Why do
I have to experience this absolute horror show and then
have the epidural. And I was speaking to my obstetrician.
He was like, oh, you can have the epidural straight
away if you want to this time. Now, I'm going
to arrive in the car park, go upstairs and be
like epidurol first and then break water. Speaking to your
sister and Kate had the same thing done, so I'm
(32:33):
not I'm actually not. I don't know. I'm not not
scared of the birth part, like it feels like I'm
about to run a marathon. But I think because I'm
so uncomfortable at this point, like I honestly feel like
I'm a whale on land that's trying to walk, that
I'm quite happy about going through the birthing part. And
also there's this weird sick thing that happens because you
have such a dope meine rush afterwards that it's like
(32:55):
it's like you want it, like it's like exciting. It's
like an addict have another baby.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
How are we feeling about Poppy versus Penny?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Oh, I'm still I'm still team Poppy. Yeah you too,
for other reasons, Popsicle, do you like? Why don't like Penny?
Speaker 3 (33:13):
I got a wager with my wife and that's Poppy.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And if it's not, I've got to do a gym
class with her, and that's my man.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
And April is very fit right now.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Just want to call it a different.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Essentially, she wants to sign me up for high Rocks
or whatever.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
If I get high Rocks, my puppic flour could never
know me neither mind either my pebt, Like who's going
to be in the room with us, Alicia, and you sorry,
oh my gosh, you wouldn't even touch my stomach, let
alone look at the.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Mountains.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
You know, help, but you also are not a great
deal of help. That's why I just don't look, no,
because Matt doesn't. He doesn't like looking down the party
and I wouldn't. And he also doesn't want to cut
the umbilical cord. And he gets that hungry are very often,
so he has to go out for snacks. He does
get very it's really hungry. So so that's where my
sister's going to be there because she'll either do the sandwich.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Run I could be a snack guy.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
And then often Matt wants to film content around all
the things you shouldn't say in labor, so like quite
often we're in the labor theater still.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
But I want to come to that one.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I want to go to that one.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
That one sounds fine, but don't you think when you
think about the two berths that we've had together so far,
like Marley and Lola were absolutely far sorry, well there was.
They were like chalk and cheese, Like Marley was kind
of really stressful, and then Lola's were so easy. We
were if anything. We were trying to find things to
pass the time with because I had been in I
had the EPI durer couldn't feel anything. I wasn't in pain,
(34:39):
and we were just like waiting for eight hours for
this baby to come. And we're having a great time.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Sounds good, so more feeling of content. We're mixed.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
There's mixed signals going on here, So I'm not invited.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Do you want to come?
Speaker 3 (34:55):
I fainted in enduring an epidural, so I definitely don't
want to come.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
I'm getting kicked so bad right now.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
All right, we'll try and hurry this up.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Speaking of things that you shouldn't say during childbirth, I
thought we should do a little segment which we call
things you Shouldn't Say to a pregnant woman creative.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
I love the name of it.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Can we start with you?
Speaker 1 (35:13):
If is there any that's spring to mine? If this
is your third pregnancy that you're like this one just
comes straight at me.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Every single day someone says to me, Wow, it's gone
so fast.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
For you.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
I have seen you for six months.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Has gone quick, though, it has gone quick.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
So you were also not here for the whole first trimester.
So yeah, everyone always says like, wow, that this pregnancy
has gone fast, and it feels like it could not
have gone slow for me. Yeah, that's like especially the
last week.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, it's one of those ones where you don't yeah,
you don't know that that's the wrong things because he's like, oh,
just time's gone fars. You're sort of going you're sort
of calling out time here, not calling out like oh totally, but.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
When it's gone like especially the last couple of weeks
have gone so incredibly slow, it's just, yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I've got one go. Are you ready for your life
to be over?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Which is also not true, God that's morbid?
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Or are you ready to never sleep again? But also
not true. Otherwise if it was true, people wouldn't go
back for a third kid, Like, we know what we've done.
We've done it before twice. So I don't subscribe to
that having kids.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
No, we don't subscribe to any of this. Let's just
put that out there.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
I think there's a very obvious one, which is wow,
you look huge, which is a real fan favorite.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
That's a classic.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
I've done that one.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
I've also done I did that one to a friend
of mine before having kids myself, because at the time
I was in my early twenties, and I just expected
that it was a normal thing that pregnant people should
be huge, and therefore it wasn't an insult to tell
them that they are. I was very wrong.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
No offense to the pregnant women out there.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
You are fucking huge.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I do hope you that that gets edited out.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
That in contrast that when people say, are you sure
you're eating enough? It's not that big?
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Yeah, they're not that big. One is also weird because
then you worry that there's something wrong. So on the
like on the converse side, you know, I often get
you look the same, like your arms and legs are
the same, you just have like a belly, And then
it gives me visions of just like like an elderly
man with a pop belly, like skinny arms and legs.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Oh yeah, that makes me feel weird because I'm so aroused.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
I got one here, I go on here, And this
one's a little bit triggering. It's kind of like someone
says what you can can't eat. So for example, if
you're eating something and it's like, oh, you really shouldn't
eat that.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
Oh yeah, yeah of a fox.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
You get that a lot and everyone seems to know,
and it's always something different, like like, oh it is
that whole leg man, I've.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Been Look, I mean we've made it this fast. I
think I can admit to it. I've been really lacks
this pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I have smoking.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
See you're smoking out.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
That Like my number one craving this pregnancy is been
ham And you're not meant to eat hair, but I've
eaten hand. It's like a stable part of my diet
that's pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Child will be half pig.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Also, I'm supposed to eat oysters, but anytime we've been
to a nice restaurant, I'm like, get a dozen, just
go for it.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
But it doesn't for me.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
But you know, you know that you're gonna get the
judging eyes.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Oh you do.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
And I feel like with each pregnancy, I've gotten more relaxed.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
So yeah, yeah, there's another one as well, which I've
got here, is you don't even look pregnant, which is
sort of like they're trying to be nice, but it's
kind of nice. Yeah, it's kind of nice. But then
it also discounts how much you've gone through up until
that point, because it's like, well, if I don't look
at very much, am fucking pregnant, and I feel like, yeah,
I feel it regardless.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Yes, I also think kids are very humbling because kids
don't have a they don't have the ability to hold back.
So Mally and Lula La have offended me many times. Yeah,
well not even accidentally. They just say what they're thinking
and it is a truth. But it doesn't need to
be said, like mom, you've got a fat bar, Like
(39:02):
why does your vagina look like that? And they'd be like,
because I'm pregnant, sweetheart, Like, just get out of the shower, like,
get out of the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Because I'm pregnant.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
I had.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
So we were in the park recently and Molly was
just telling everyone that I have purple boobs. Was walking
around the park being like, my mom's got purple boobs.
And what she meant is your nipples go dark during pregnancy,
but obviously didn't have the vocab to explain that.
Speaker 5 (39:29):
It's like.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
That goes a different car.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Yeah, Areola. I was expecting you to call it aola
or something.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
So Ariola was a Disney princess, but that's Ariel.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
Yes, yeah, the confusion. Yeah, so she told everyone, Yeah,
my nipples are purple, my boobs are purple. They're not
totally pert Actually they're actually pretty purple.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
This is the child friend.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Wow, let's let's give Laura.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
I don't think a lot of the weird pregnancy things
that happened.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
She needs a break asuance.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
That's a big one.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
What about when someone just asks, like a random ass,
if they can touch you belly?
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Too much?
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Depends on who it is. It me you tried to
make Ash touch my stomach and he was so grossed
out by it.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
You yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
It was surprising how much it upset you.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
That's because I got c stick through through aprish pregnancies.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
No, Laura, I know you you are. You've had a
lot on today. We've dragged into the podcast. It was
meant to be a quick chat. It's now become a
long chat. Sorry about that. You need to pack for tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
We haven't had one.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I've got really quick in the bag the hospital bag
I saw I saw the other day in your story
you looked very uncomfortable and very tired.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
What they doing?
Speaker 3 (40:44):
You were just you were just ready for the baby
to come out.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
That's what what story was it? Because I might have
reminded the time, So now I was rending me.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
I responded to it and said, I hope you're feeling okay, mate,
blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Left on Red you left me on I don't know,
but can.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
You get your phone because I want to notice whether damn.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
It, but it says I hope you're feeling okay, mate,
thinking of you or something like that, and you fucking
left me.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
On scene pregnant.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Also also pregnant.
Speaker 4 (41:14):
I was exhausted.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Producer has followed you for a while. No follow back
on social media, sorry, Jess.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
Also, do you know what I don't use social media
apart from for work. It's true.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Oh my god, now I've heard it all.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Laura, thank you for jumping on. If you've enjoyed this episode,
please we would love it if you shared it with
a friend. Tell your mom, tell your kids, tell you
I thought you were telling Laura that d tell your dog.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
Tear friends, and share the love because tomorrow morning, just
so you guys do know the timetable, we wake up,
I call the hospital at six am yep, and then
we take Alla to daycare or Kate takes all the
dayk we drop Molly at school and we go straight
to the hospital. So We're there from eight thirty am tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Check on.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
It's like checking in and when April had her last
section was planned, it was like checking into our hotel.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
I'm nervous, are you?
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Why?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
I don't know, because it's a fucking big deal.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
How do you feel about going to number three?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
I mean we're just about to wrap the podcast.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
Sorry, but I feel like you're actually being honest about
it for once.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I'm just myself.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I'm just I don't know
what we're going to get this baby obviously a child.
As a child, need to explain it's going to be
an easy child, a hard child. I mean, what's it
going to do for us?
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Probably nothing? It's a baby.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
What do you want this sentence?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
I'm so excited. I just I just give in to
us or for I just think if we get a
tricky baby, it's going to be months of hell, and
I'm like, I'm ready for that.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Sucked in.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Okay, If you have enjoyed this episode, please share it
with someone who you think might enjoy.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
I think everyone's just confused.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
If you would like to follow us on social media,
you can do that Instagram, else, TikTok, Facebook and now
YouTube full episodes you giving me the y m C
A dance.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
Impressed by you guys now with YouTube and all.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah, we're just following in your footsteps.
Speaker 4 (43:18):
And this camera set up is elite, just compliments.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
I think that's it. I think that's everything.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
All right, we'll best of for me to you, best
of luck to both of you. Tomorrow I will be
thinking I won't message you, but I.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Will write back to you.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
And I'm excited and I'm excited. People has been he
has been very I'm just I'm just I'm nervous for you.
I'm like, holy ship, this is a big deal.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
It's a lot of mixed emotions. Let's go with mixed emotions.
But he has been very excited for the last six months.
Speaker 4 (43:49):
Oh my gosh, I get it.
Speaker 5 (43:51):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Thank God.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
All right, good bye.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
We got there.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
As a parent, Ash and I'm sure you can appreciate this.
Maybe the listeners aren't unaware, but.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
I was just getting the brief backup. Sorry, sorry, I
was getting the brief back up.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
I don't want to have to hear you.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
I would almost welcome it. I need to feel something to.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island,
the people's today. This episode was recorded on Gaddigle Land.
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