November 4, 2025 • 56 mins
Matty J's wife, Laura, has been accused of throwing out an expensive bottle that belongs to producer Jess (it has a metal top, mind you!) Should she be blamed for this horrible act, though?
Speaking of throwing out important things. Who in your household has the desire of someone who wants to live in a museum? Ash complains about losing items to the tip.
It's also Grandparents' Day, and Matty J had to step in for Nana, as she has found herself in the hospital again.
The boys also check in with former guest and friend of the show, Hugo Toovey, to hear how he's faring post what we hope will be his last major surgery.
To top off a chaotic week with the kids, Marlie-Mae leaves Daddy a sweet Lunchbox note that brings everyone to tears.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Uh, this is like an hour. It's a shout out.
Really please, I want to shout out to the self
service check out lady yesterday afternoon because we couldn't scan
the barbecue chicken, so she gave it to me for free.
What yeah, what, I won't say which supermarket was. I
don't want to get her in trouble.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And she I was with Oscar and she was like,
you enjoy that chicken?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I enjoyed it? Again, It's hard to get my kids
that eat dinner.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
So welcome back to doting dads.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I am Maddie, Jake and I'm Ash and this is
a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
It is the good, it is bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
And we don't give advice because you're not very smart.
Agreed as we have, we have a lot, a lot
to get through in this episode if we can just
very quickly. Before we started recording, Jess, producer was asking
a question of a certain water bottle that belonged to
(01:19):
her was left here at the household. I believe Laura
has thrown it out.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Let's just collectively blame her.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I think she's just she's she's so trigger happy to
throw anything out like canthor is dirty. She's like, put
it in the bin, check it out, and Jess, I
think Laura has thrown it out. But there's only one
way to confirm this. I think we should just give
Laura a really quick call. She's not going to.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Pick up no, I can feel it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Laura. Hello, sound you sound different?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I'm in Zara.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh what are you getting?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Nothing? I'm going to walk out of here though, hold on?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Sorry about that being very busy question. Cast your mind
back to a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We were cleaning out the house. There was a specific
type of water bottle that was here on the kitchen bench.
I think it was in like the drainage tray. It
was an age.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Water bottle that was in the drainage tree.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
It was a g one water bottle. I think it
was glass, do you yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I vaguely remember it.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
What did we do with that?
Speaker 4 (02:35):
I think you threw it that because it had like
green stuff in it?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Ah you who?
Speaker 5 (02:39):
So?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Who threw it out?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Ma? Wow? Okay, all right, didn't you say? Didn't you say?
What is this? Why is this rotting?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And I was like, I've got nightety what it is,
and then you're like, throw it away.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Wow is the fingering bottle?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I think so it was Jess's oh.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Ship, you guys need to buy just in your drink bottle.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
We're right, we're getting on it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I been there at the junction, man, don't group me
in with you.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Guys, green.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Green it was vitamins. It was it had been.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Less in the covered for a really long time, and that.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Is like made a juice or something in it.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Jess.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I really I appreciate your endeavor to be healthy, and
I'm so sorry that we uh that we yeah, well,
I actually don't.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
We didn't do anything that MAT's right away. I'm very sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I think everyone was like, what the fuck is this
doing here?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Everyone was commused. I don't know who it was. We
also found like three days after your record day. It
wasn't like it was on the record day. We were like,
where'd this come from?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Can we back up a little bit there, Laura, you
said you guys need to buy Jess and new water bottle.
I don't appreciate being grouped into this debarcle because I
wouldn't do something so absurd.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
That house is like your podcasting studio. I feel like
you can, you can look.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
If that's the case, I would like some sort of ownership.
I would like a percentage of the house. Please hang on, Laura,
I would say, Laura.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
That that was very quick to blame you, like, oh,
I have no doubt.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think you were the one that was like, we
knew this house was so clited, we need to get
rid of stuff now. And then you were like, get
rid of it, put it in the bin. And I
was like, well, Laura, just slow down for a second, relax,
and you're like, too late, it's fucking gone.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I am. I am the clean out queen. I like
to drinking the way, but I'm not not the culprit. No, No,
I didn't do that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Okay, Hey, don't forget to buy yourself a phone cover
when you're at the junction.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Yeah, that's why I'm going to do. I only dropped
on the ground. Now I'm scratching that down.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Okay. I love you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Wow, I don't know who to believe around to you go,
why do wives do this? Why do they just throw
things out for the sake of a there's two things
that irritate.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
What does she do?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
She throws things out? Random? No. Three things. We could
be here all day. We just add to it. Okay.
First of all, she'll just throw things out. They just
think it's Clark. It's in my way in the bin,
and it's like, no, there's no. I don't even own
a wall anymore.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Do you know why?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Because it's probably at the tip. I don't think about
the repercussions of that. Hence the water book. That's one two.
For some reason. If something is nearly empty and we
have a new one, finish it off. I have two
jars of veedgie might rock and rolling around my house
at the moment, and I'm like, which one do I use?
I don't want to get in trouble except gin.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Okay, in April's defense, we've got about three little jars
of honey at the moment, a little like squeezy tub things,
because they're really annoying. Once they're empty, there's a little
bit left. You can't get it out. You gotta wash
it out with hot water. Then it's just it's the admin.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yeah, okay, Honey's maybe the because it's sticky. It's very
stick but you can scrape the inside of veggimi.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, Laura, it's actually me.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Does this oh, go on.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Sometimes like if it's butter and I finished the butter,
I'm like, oh, just put it back in the fridge
and I'll deal with that later.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
It's like a toilet paper roller is hanging like one
bit over the top of the well. I didn't finish it.
And the third thing that she does do which I
know other people do this, Actually there's four, but I'm
not going to go on. Actually I might just group
this into one.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Please.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It's rearranging the house all things, especially in the kitchen.
It's very kitchen related and not telling me.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
So.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
You know how when you're making something to eat for you,
the kids or whatever, muscle memory takes you to the
covert or drawer where that thing is. As soon as
something's moved without you knowing. Your muscle memory is like,
hang on a.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Minute, dude, that the bin bin's move. Bin's mood was there.
I used to be in the middle of the room.
Now it's in the corner.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I put amusedly by wrapper on the floor the other
day here because I was like, this is.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Laura was like, it's just a fucking eyesaw, isn't it.
And I think it's a white it's a white bin.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
You lucky it's still out in public, because this is
the other thing that she would do when she's moving
things around, she puts things in the cupboard, like the toaster. Yeah,
where's the toaster gone?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
If it's being used on a daily basis, I think
it warrants being left out on the bench.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It's earned, it's earned its place of real estate on
the bench, I think, especially if it's on a piece
of bench I'm not going to use anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It's it's it's more work to put it away. And
also there's bloody crumbs everywhere.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And you put crumbs from the bench to the floor
to the cupboard, so you're really dirty in three areas
of your house instead of the one spot which you
can lift it, wipe, put it back down. And it's
a good looking toaster. It's a brevel you get, you get,
you want to show it up.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's a sand colored toaster.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I want to show my appliances off, Thank you much.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It doesn't get any better than that. I mean, it
was a smag sure maybe that it could stay, but Brebell,
surely it's up there second tier.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, I want people to walk in my house and go, oh,
you got a Berebel, I got the same and you're like,
it's paying off.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It matches the kettle.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
See, we get it. Yeah, what is it about that
they don't get? I don't live in a museum, but
we love our wives so much, very much.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah. I wouldn't want it any other way. I have
to be very very careful, very careful not to criticize
the lawyer right now, because she's taken the brunt of
the nighttime situation. Oh yeah, we have a newborn pop wait,
five or six weeks old.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
That is fresh for the new listeners out there, and
it's Matt's third child.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I have to wake up. And I'm like, oh, gosh,
Poppy was awake a lot last night. And she goes, yeah,
it wasn't she And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
God yeah, And then you leave the room. He's like, sohole.
She knows I didn't wake up. I know you didn't.
You're a deep sleeper.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
She might be wondering about my bad I did.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Ask you and you just shunned me off. So do explain.
What does it say my special person? Grandparents' Day is Grandparents' day?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Is it grandparents at your school?
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It's Frank there.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
No Frank's actually I think he's at the doctors this morning.
So Mimi is there, which.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Is Frank's not there.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
No, he's guarded too, but he goes to a lot
of things.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
There's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Rules regarding grandparents day. Are you allowed two grandparents? My
sister was like, is at the same school, her kids
are a little bit older, but she was like, only
one grandparents allowed her child.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And I was like, oh, that's just causing division within families. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I was like, surely they can allow, especially.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
All four of them alive. Then what do you do?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
We didn't have any grandparents available today, yes, so we
didn't want Marley to be there empty handed, or a
couple of kids there with no one at their desk.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I'm always I.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Was like, I wanted to go over and be like
it's okay.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I know I did that fade interest like a little kids.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
There, but I went as her favorite person. And then
Laura Bloody came along as well, and I was like.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
So then she's like, give the badge to her. Now,
you're my special kind of person.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But it was a very exciting morning, about forty five
minutes just doing a couple of little drawings, A bit
of reading made the badge. I don't want to attack
the older generation here.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
ASH don't want to attack them, but I will go
for it.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I was as I was coloring in I was doing
a drawing with Miley, was sitting at her desk, and
I would pay attention to some of the other grandparents there,
in particular the grand pas, the older males, and watch
them trying to interact.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
It's really awkward with a young child. He's like, all right, Timmy,
what did you want to draw?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
And Timmy's like, we can draw pictures and he's like okay,
and then he's like, on his phone.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Why don't you draw a picture from the First World War.
I'd like to feel some nostalgia.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I have no idea how to interact with the kids.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
They don't. My dad's getting better, like I know, like
when I first had kids and he was he wasn't
very hands on, but like he's looked after them on
his own, like he spent the night, well, you know,
babysat for us a couple of times on his own
without Mum. Strategically, Mom's like he needs to get better
(11:18):
at this, and now he's just flying loves it. So
it is hard for them. But like once they realized
they if they just get on their level.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, these grandparents were not there anywhere. Yeah, they were
like it was level twelve. These kids are on ground level. Yeah,
there was there was a massive disconnect and well he's there,
like Dad, I'm like not right now, I'm watching the grandparents.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Did you get the old g you're a young grandfather?
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I had to pretend like.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I was old. I was like, hello, Molly, am.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I old ash. Ellie couldn't be there on Grandparents' Day
because because she's back in hospital and she's doing good.
She's doing good, but she just can't keep any weight on.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
She's still have They got to the back problem.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Finally, finally it's called seeded Iff, seed Iff Coostril. This
where do they come up with the name? I know
he told me the name of the phone, and I
was like, can you say that one more time slower?
Can you spell it out for me?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
People struggle to name their kids. How are people out
there naming fucking infections?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And ship shortened to seed iff.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
And then they shorten what's the point, just make it
seed iff.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
But but Thursday we were together, weren't we know we.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Weren't ignore me, you would have been recording or something.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
And a cool mom. And she was really well raised home,
and she was like, not with it. She's not about
nine kilos, there's not much.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
And she's not a big person to begin with.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Bag of bones. And I'm going to say this name wrong.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
What a real insensitive way to put that.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, she's a I know, sorry Ellie, but a gashtrom ontrologist,
not really the gastro ontrology and anyway, gastro the gastro guy.
I was like, hey, mum's not eaten for twenty four hours.
She's still like, has bad. She's gonna toilet a lot,
(13:12):
and she's like a little bit you know slow for
one of a better phrase.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And he was like, go to ear right now. And
I was like, Ellie, pack your bags, we're gonna ear.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
She was like I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
She did, You're not.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I was hanging this washing out for us. I've gotta
have a shower. Oh oh god.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
So we raced the ear and I was like, hey,
the tree arched nurse is going to come out. You're
not well, you don't look well, but just you know,
don't don't perk up for the tri arched nurse because
obviously for people who haven't spent any time in ar
the tree arched nurses there to assess how serious the
situation is and if you're fine, back of the list,
(13:54):
be more serious. And I was like, just like what
you're doing right now, like you know, you can barely talk,
Like just keep this?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Can you tie it down a little bit more?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Trio nurse comes out and they're like, oh, oh god.
And I was like, she's not eat she hasn't eaten
in twenty four hours. She's not she didn't drink anything.
She's shutting herself twenty four seven. She didn't triog nurse
wouldn't look at me. But we finally then we finally
made it inside the waiting room with the art's quite interesting.
You're looking at other people. You're like, I wonder what
(14:25):
he's in here for.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you do that thing, yeah exactly
right where you're like, do I get too close? I
don't want to catch it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
But mom had gone into hospital. They did the test.
They found the ced if she's on the mend, good
and good to hear she will be back fighting fit.
And also, if you know my mama, she this is
the first time you're hearing about her being in hospital. Apologies,
but she's doing fine.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
That's good. It's good to hear. I'm glad she's on
the Men. I did text her, Yes, you did so
to my parents? What Yeah, you don't know that.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
That's lovely.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Now Mum's like, oh, I sent her a message. I
was like, did you know who it was? And she
was like yeah, she responded season this season from wooo
whatever any very good. I'm glad that she is on
The Men. Are we in housekeeping? Is that what's happening.
Let's just preface this by somewhere along the line there
we fell into housekeeper. It's a fusion. It's a fusion episode.
We just got a fuse it all together. But I
(15:17):
have something for you that you might interest you, especially
now that your wife is, you know, on the Men.
From having a baby. She's going through spending a lot,
on a lot of nights awake with the baby.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
And she's working really hard, burning the candle from both ends.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Very well said. Now, there's been a breaking, breaking new
study on Instagram. It's an Instagram article. To you, it's legit.
I don't know how they got this done.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
We start doing research articles in two dads. Oh yeah,
just completely made up.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I love it. We should just do it.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
No one's question.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I was questioning any of this and if any, if anything,
people are heroing it.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Maybe we could get on the news.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That'd be great. It's so, did you guys get this stab.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Here?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
It is? It's a breaking new study. It shows that
giving your girlfriend's slash wife whatever foot massages makes her
love you twenty three percent more.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
That's a very specific number. How did they get out
the how are they gauging the love? The brain trusts
over at Instagram like what have we got here? Four
percent of be thinking, Someone's like yeah, time twenty percent.
Someone was like what about twenty five, Like let's meet
yea twenty two point five. It was like too many
(16:34):
characters twenty three percent? I mean, have you tried it?
Laura is not really into me touching her feet, if
I'm being honest.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
She still washes them in the bathroom scenk right, Yeah,
technically the long line somewhere you're touching them.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Do you have it? On the weekend, we were at
the Halloween party a few dollars down and at the
Halloween party there was a couple of like prop feet
and hands that were like cut off seven and they
were just around the place and you're like, and Laura
was sitting on the seat, sitting on her foot, and
again I love my wife. It is beautiful. But her
(17:13):
feet very uh how you say they're footing very footy.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
They're very footy. They're like, they're very feety. Those feet
are feeding, they're very very there's sandpaper, rough sanda, some
work they But again, I love my wife. Anyway, Laura's
sitting on the seat, sitting on her foot, and someone
was like.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Oh, and thought.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
It was a Halloween foot. I thought it was a
proper foot. And they were like, and Laura's going, excuse me,
and the I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
It's just so hideous. I thought it was a prop foot.
Oh did you do anything about it when you got home?
Speaker 6 (17:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
No, no, But Laura, I I like your.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Guy, pregnancy guy. What else? Nothing, I'm not want to
touch feet. No.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Look, she's the gym all day dead lives.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I was gonna hate me for this, but I'm gonna
do it. Yes, So her big toe, it clicks freaks
me out.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (18:21):
So she goes like like this yep, yeah, but like
on command, like.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Like keeping time or is she keeping rhythm?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
If we are, it's like it's like the person in
the band with a triangle. It's like give us what click.
It's like, oh so not for me, she's also got
a hooked toe. Oh my, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
We're we're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
They're not wives like this at okay, well let's steer this.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
That's what would you like? Just sorry, just question if
you wanted to increase the love with April, you know,
if you want to get close to that twenty three percent.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Acts of service, that's her thing. So no touchy feely,
not really no. So like, for example, the dream result
for me is which ends in one thing that we know,
the horizontal dance. We don't do it horizontally, but thank
you anyway, moving on, April's gonna hate me. No. So
(19:29):
the end goal here is that when.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
They love hearing about your sex life.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
In the bedroom, when the when the bed routine is
done no sorry, sorry, read the room. Sorry, when the
whole bed routine is done, which is the end of
the it's like okay, well yeah, what time is this? Oh?
Seven seven point thirty? Love that if she comes out
of say, reading the books, and the house is there's
nothing for her to do, whatsoever, but to shower and
(19:55):
enjoy the rest of her night. You're ranks of service,
you're clean the kitchen, oh, the place, your dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
When are you having your dinner?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Like nine pm?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
You have a late night?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah wow, yeah, a couple of gummies and I'm pretty hungry.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Just the way your schedule works in the year, that's.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
The perfect evening, you ask me. But anyway and anyway, anyway,
is that it for housekeeping fusion? What else we got?
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yes, just a quick update on the softboards for those
who have won one. I think there's five people if
they're listening thinking about you in April.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Okay, think about me, especially after you're posting about her
a lot at the moment.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Oh yeah, sorry, shut up. Anyway, we're in a good
space sideboards soft board. Okay, you know it's not soft
this board. What was I saying? Softboards? Yeah, so I
(20:58):
haven't had an update there. Arriving in the country mid November,
and I'll have them shipped out to.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
You a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
No, I've got that. I've got the actual update. Yeah,
people like was this made up?
Speaker 5 (21:07):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
It's not they're meant to be. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
So many email being like, hey, congratulations, you've been selected
too Nigeria.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
No, it's it's legit and it is happening, and I'll
keep once I've got the exact date that I can
organize to send them out to you. They were for summer,
and summer doesn't start till December. If anyone looks at
a calendar anyway, that is the end of housekeeping. Okay,
but I want to We've thrown our wives under the
bus enough. I want to throw my kids under the
bus a little bit here. Please look between April and
(21:40):
I'm going to take responsibility for how this panned out.
We were just away on the weekend with some friends.
They how was that weekend? I'm about to tell you
If you just wait now, I'll tell you about a
specific moment. The weekend was great, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Good weather was that it was overcast.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
The first day was a little cars but it was
kind of nice and pleasant because I wasn't too hot anyway.
So we arrived kids, no kids, kids with kids, families.
There's two other families. There's three families, okay, and a
friend of mine they there wider family have a like
a shack okay, at a place called Swan Bay. It's
(22:20):
like a row of houses on on a bay obviously,
but it's not like it's not bustling, if that makes sense.
It's quite small, quiet north of Sydney North, a couple
of hours north, and it is quite an old house.
It's yeah, it's like maybe a half hour past a
little bit more. And the house is really old, like
(22:40):
it's been passed down pretty much. There's been minor tweaks
to it, but it's it's got the authentic authenticity of
an old house. Okay, it's like that, like old carpet old.
It's probably a spestos whatever on land sheds in the
back like a proper old slight lean. Yeah. If it
gets windy, it runs on the front like not that bad,
(23:04):
not that so anyway, I took the family. My family
had been there before, but when they were much younger.
Macy probably was in the picture, and Oscar was quite young,
so none the wiser, some would say, So I've taken
them to this house, and we've got there. We got
there first, and I've gone and I've unlocked the house,
and my kids get out of the car and the
first thought is what's this place? And I was like,
(23:28):
I didn't really preface that it's not going to be
quite as modern as they used to.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Now they've got the new apartment.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
I know.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And you know what it reminded me of. And I'll
tell you why it reminded me of. This is, you
know the movie Grown Ups by Adam Sandler, and he's
so he's quite he's like a celebrity in this in
this movie, and his kids are used to a certain
type of lifestyle, but they go on holiday to a
lake house, which is nowhere near the same lifestyle as that.
(23:54):
For example, they cut from a silver cloth.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Is that say thank you? Yep?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I think that's right. I would say this. But for example,
the TV has a big box on the back of it.
Why is it so fat form? Yeah? And they're why
does it not have Netflix? Where's YouTube? Why is there
no Wi Fi? Where's the dishwasher? It's coming now? Literally,
it's like, can we just order something to eat? I'm like,
(24:21):
who the fuck are these kids?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Where are the hoverboards?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah? Exactly right, And they're like, I'm like, the kitchen
is like original kitchen, there's no dishwasher. Who's going to
wash the dishes. It's like me relaxed, CID, I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
It's per usual.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, Like so all of the modern amenities that they're
used to, this house has none of them, right, And
it was like, ekon, no way, They've just installed ceiling vans.
That was the entertainment of the day. The kids were
just like watching the ceiling fan.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
But the whole vibe of the place is to get
away from the model the man. That's the whole charm
of it.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
But it takes I guess a little while to TRANSI
into a new environment for the kids.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah, and it was like I was like, are you
fucking guys for real? Like, but then I thought, ah,
this is probably my fault that they're like this, because,
for example, we have a robot vacuum and my kids
were like, wow, that's been nice. It was free. It
was like the rice bubbles dry rice bubbles thank god,
(25:24):
ended up on the old disgusting carpet in this house
and Oscar was like, oh, the rabot will get it.
I was like, fuck at hell. And every five minutes
I would come back to one of the kids trying
to work out why the TV didn't have Netflix and
I kept saying, we're not here for this. There's yards
(25:46):
out the back, beauty.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
That like like the difference is right. So the guy
who owns the hat or the family who owns the house,
their kid gets there and he's like, come on, Oscar,
let's go straight out to the bay looking for crabs.
He knows what's up. He knows what's happening, and it's
like he's like, okay. So for example, sometimes you know
when you go to a salt water body of salt
(26:10):
water and it can be the salt can make your
skin itchy. Ah Jesus, yeah, it's that is.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Then it's a night.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
It was like the end of the world when Oscar
realizes made him itchy.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
And also it's not it's like every third, like time
they're in the salt water makes him ITCHI not every time,
So it's like such a roll of the dice. I'm like, well,
they'd be itchy and then mylet's like, yeah, it's attacking me.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's exactly what it was like with Oscar. He just
comes running like I thought something was really wrong, dipped
in acid. Yeah, and he's like I was like, what's wrong.
But it's like I'm it was shut. I was like
getting the shower robots ye has helped me. I was like,
I was like, go have a shower, like you have
(26:55):
to wait for the hot water to come on there.
It was like, oh, what a shower. I'm like, it'll stop,
it's not what anything to do with water. I'm like,
oh my.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
God, these kids, what am I raising?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
What the fuck am I doing? Where's the PlayStation? Oh,
for fuck's sake, please tell me there's a simulator here, literally,
And it was like, oh my god, I just do.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
You think that The other parents were looking at you
being like.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Oh god, I think we got it all out of
the way before everyone got.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
There the first couple hours.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
It was in the first couple of minutes.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It was like did he come good by the end?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, Once they got used to that there's no modern
amenities in this house.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Man like.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
He was like, that's right, We'll like obviously there's no
coffee machine, and I'm like, not my kids drink coffee.
But they witnessed us at home using a coffee machine
with the knock box and the steam the whole fucking
woo ha lardie dar version and like April turns the
kettle on and what is that? Oh my god, Macy
(28:05):
really topped it off, would you do? I was like,
what do you what do you feel like for dinner?
Popcorn chicken?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, Macey. I hate to burst your bubble.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Here, but there's no KFC here.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
We just killed the kangaroo about to literally we're about
to eat that on the fire in the back of
the backyard.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I said, of all the things that we drove past
on the way here, do you did we drive past
the KFC? That's your problem?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Worked that out? Oh my god? Can we order something? No?
It was just so I'm like, fuck, it just made
me not the special person.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
But and that explains your post in the Facebook group
were all.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Like yeah, I wanted to and I did, and I
mean I'll read something them out next week in housekeeping.
But it was it just gave the IRG like they
unappreciate what they've got and they were like so disappointed.
It was like, they're going because that's the thing. They
were like so excited to go on holidays, right, but
when they got there they felt like it was more
of a concentration camp than a holiday anyway. But I
(29:06):
spent the whole time just being like be more appreciative
and all this sort of shit. But then we get
home and it's like back to the normal, back to
the norm pretty much where it's like the robots, oh
my god, simulators here walking in Like how can the
robots like? Thank god you're home anyway, Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
We mentioned Hugo we did last week here Go two
v a guest on the podcast good Friend of two
Doting Dads. Great Friend of two Doting Dads had a
major surgery a few weeks ago. We're gonna give me
a quick call just to check in and see how
he's going.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Hello, mate, how are you?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
How are you here?
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Go? I'm doing okay, county in hospital?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
But are you really back in hospital? Did you come out?
You were just still there from last time?
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Way man.
Speaker 5 (29:53):
I came literally out for a day and then my
bloody had.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
A thing about bloody.
Speaker 5 (30:00):
Got bow goes to sleep and in a lot of pain,
and that's the bloody rush back in on Saturday, and
I could actually be here till yeah to just been
on gut rest clearfluence since Friday.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Be here till Friday. Some bloody So.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Your bow went to sleep as it similars like when
your leg goes to sleep.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Kind of literally like often if you push it too much,
it can and maybe I did a bit too much
too soon.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I've only got two meters of bow? What do you know?
Have you?
Speaker 1 (30:32):
What do you know? We have?
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Yeah? Eight?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
So like oh wow, wow, okay.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Yeah, So I don't have a large bow.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
So you guys will have about two meters of large
bow and then the average human has about six meters
of small bower and I've only got about two meters
of that, so it's you can really sickly live with
about a meter.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
So I've got a meet it to play with.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
But we don't have a bowl off? Are we? How
much you got.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
I'm cutting it fine, I'll tell you what. I don't
want to lose much more. But it's just a bloody, sensitive.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
Sensitive old thing.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
So I'm now stuck in hospital till Friday and some
bloody clear fluids and free fluids and it's just I
have a gut rest and then once it starts working again,
I'll hopefully be out that.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Yeah, try and get back to a bit of normality.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Which hospital are you when Hugo.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
Saint Vincent's private in darling Hurst.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I was hoping you'd be Prince of Wales.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yeah, that's a weird hope to have my mum's and
Prince of Wales.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
I was like, yeah, yeah, the old.
Speaker 5 (31:40):
Dead, two birds with one stone.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
How's the rest of your recovery going?
Speaker 4 (31:48):
Well? It was going really well, so I posted surgery.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
It was a really big success, you know, I recovered
really well, and then I was you know, and you
tube out each day and you drain it each day,
and I was in real good spirits and then I
left Tostl after ten days, which was absurd, Like the
surgeon was so stoked with ours recovering and he said
(32:10):
he was happy for me to cover from home. So
it was going really well into this little hiccup. So
hoping this is just a just a little outline.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
The timing of it.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Is pretty shit because it's my bloody birthday today actually,
so it's oh, happy birthday May So it's it's not
an ideal place to spend your birth sab.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
It was funny but the nurse.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
Came in for the food, came in this morning on
clear fluids and I had some jelly and I was like, oh, well,
I've never had birthday breakfast jelly, so I enjoyed that,
and then a minute later the nurse came in and
said happy.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
Birthday, so I'll thank you. And she's like, now I
just have to.
Speaker 5 (32:47):
Do your heperinjection, which is like a daily needles stab
into your leg for reducing blood plots.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
And I was like, oh, that's that's exactly what.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
You want to exact your birthday jelly and exactly a
massive all.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
But then avers been in, which is amazing.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Teddy will come in a bit later.
Speaker 5 (33:06):
I'll probably try and have a little hour, so go
to a playground and I'm nice, try I get some fresh.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Air, so it's not all bad.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
You learn to bloody, you know, celebrate the little winds
in a day and so there will be no different.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So be right, have you got enough entertainment? Is there
anything that we can do to provide some entertainment? Made?
Speaker 5 (33:22):
Look, I'm pretty good off. My mum's actually coming in today,
which is great. She could spend time with me, which
is awesome. And that I'm just keep you busy, paying
free on some meds and stuff, being comfortable and you know,
watching some TV shows and stuff, so you know, you
get you get through the days as best as you can,
and hopefully I'll be.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Out on Friday.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Have you been listening to so much, you know, two
doting dads since you've been in there.
Speaker 5 (33:47):
I must admit I've I've been pretty nauseous for a
big chunk of my that first sort of ten days
when my bow was waking up. So it's only really
this last few days where I've been being able to
watch some TV and amer even got me for my
birthday the latest air pods. Perfect listen to dads, you know,
(34:11):
lying in the hospital bed, catching up on the episodes
I've missed.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I saw Actually Sarah, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Listened to her episode yet, so I'm definitely looking forward
to listening to that, which you know, she's been amazing
reaching out and messaging and we're going to do a
little charity cooking collaborationally next year, so definitely listen to her.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
If you need any shirts.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
Yes, I saw a little Blueberry parting.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
It was actually very good.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
You go, Is this the last major surgery that you
think you'll need?
Speaker 4 (34:46):
Fingers cross made? That's the plan. The plan is now.
I've got this permanent stoma, this permanent bag.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
And like I said, only only a couple of meters
with bow left.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
The plan is now to you know.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
That will keep you going for hopefully the next you know,
thirty four today, so hopefully the next bloody thirty four
years plus. But yeah, it's probably I think it's my
eighth major open abgominal surgery, and you know I've had
over it, you know, a dozen or some other surgery.
So I'm really hoping, Yeah, you know the significance thirty
(35:19):
four today, you know, I'm hoping that I can put
it all behind me, move on, prove quality of life,
and yeah, start to enjoy that normality as best as
I can, which I've kind of haven't had for a
long time.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Oh man, I was like, you're an absolute truper. It's
unbelievable you've had to go through. So we're thinking of you.
We're glad you're doing better. Big love to yourself, Amber
and Teddy, and we hope enjoy the rest of your
day and your birthday in particular.
Speaker 5 (35:47):
Yeah, no, thank you, Jets, really appreciate it. Yeah, I
always love the support, love what you guys are doing.
And now I'll definitely get those AirPods going and catch
up on a few episodes.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
You don't have to, no, he must.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
You quiz me.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Yeah, all right, man, we appreciate you, and yes we're
thinking of your mate, and we'll touch base again and
just see how you go on. Hopefully the end of
the week you're out, we can see you.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Yeah, fingers cross catch up.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
So you guys, all right, mate, full on, full on.
It is very full on and like man like he
puts on a brave face. He's still got his humor.
And I mean, it's so important that people go get early,
get checked, early diagnosis, and Hugo has done that twice
and thankfully he's been able to save his life twice.
But the battle continues. And yeah, we're thinking of you, mate.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
It makes sure appreciate how lucky we are. We'll have
been watching Hugo on Socials that Hugo Underscore t V
and you know, watching his little boy Teddy come in
the hospital and like, oh man, it's so tough man, yeah,
really tough. But Hugo, we love you, and please, if
you want to jump into a socials, give a message
of support because he he loves it and it helps
so much. We really appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
Ash.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
There's a very quick story. I know you've been you've
been itching to tell a story about about Macy and
a seal.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Well, now I feel like it's not going to be
that good.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
No, sorry, I've just said and you've told us that
it's one of the best stories. We often complain about parenting, Okay,
when I say often every episode, every episode, but it's
also important Ash to say at times that we do
(37:32):
love this job.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Yeah, the dad job or the podcast job.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
The dad job. Of course we love the podcast. Ever,
everyone knows we never complained about the podcast.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
I always do when you're not around.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Sometimes this episode I'm like, Ash, is a nightmare, Like,
don't listen to that one.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
That's not good.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
But something happened to me recently that I was like, obviously,
it's hard work, it's exhausting, it's relentless, it's frustrating at times,
but then these are moments they just completely remove all
of that frustration and also like numb the frustration that's
to come. So at the moment. Marley loves a little note.
(38:11):
I make her lunch in the morning and in her
lunch box, her little like cooler bag. All write a
note and I'll put it in there. Sometimes are really
dumb notes. For example, why can't eggs tell each other jokes?
Because I crack each other.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Up very good.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
She's like, I didn't get that one, and I'll try
another one. I was like, I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Okay, So he just CHATJP hered a bunch of se
it I like it. I do like her and she
doesn't know that getting them.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yeah, she doesn't know that. And then I wrote her
a nice letter And how did that go? It went
really well?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
No, what did it say? We got it here?
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I said, dear Marley, this is your dad writing this.
I host to avoid any confusion. I hope you had
a yummy lunch. And I'm so lucky to have a
smart and brave and funny best friend that is also
my daughter.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Have a great day at school.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
And I can't wait to see you when I pick
you up. Love you to the moon and back a
million times from Dad.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
That is lovely, thank you. That is very nice. And
she's responded. She's responded loving this.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
She goes, h four Dad, love from Malie May two. Dad,
it is the fuck I'm going to cry.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Do you want me to read it?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Okay? All right two Dad, Me four. Dad. This is
the same, Let too, Dad. It is the best thing
in my life to have a dad like you. You
make me feel safe. Love you. Hope you had a fun.
I hope you had fun at work. You are crying.
That is lovely and that's cry worthy, I think, and
(40:00):
also well written from happens to be That is wild.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Yeah. So, sometimes as hard as parenting is, when you
get little moments.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Oh yeah, everything is forgotten and it makes it all worthwhile.
There is something that your children can give you that
nothing else in the world can. And that's exactly what
I'm talking about. It's things like that that people that
don't have kids will never understand. That's what I was saying.
So now I feel like I can't tell you my story.
(40:34):
You try to beef me up on the story and
then you get your dish out that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
So when I get that note, I'm like, oh, that's
beautiful spelling.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
We're going to be like spelling mistake. She put a
seat in that making anyway, we can come back to
my story in other times, I don't feel it's fitting
for that.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Sorry, no, don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
No, I like that much better. That's we can. There's
no rush on that one. Shall we go into life?
Tell me loud, tell me little love.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
I was at the Halloween party with a foot incident
with Laura.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Oh yes, yes, and the horrific foot that is Laura.
I love you.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Oh god, she has beautiful feet. We're at the party
and a couple of parents there were like, oh, what
do you do? And I said, I do a podcast.
My bad just went off. I said, oh, I do
a podcast and like what do you talk about? And
I'd say, oh, you know, sometimes we talk about parenting lies.
And then one parent was like, oh, she had a
(41:43):
couple of wines and she's like yes, She's.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Like, I've got to lie.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
I can tell you yes, and she was like oh,
it's a bit of a bad one. And I was like, no,
we'd never judge, you know, we will, but.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Maybe on occasion I will.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
And she goes, oh, look, you know the story Gruffalo yep.
And I was like yeah, yeh, I know. And she goes, well, look,
my daughter's really afraid of the Gruffalo and I was
like I get that, you know, it's scary, scary, scary character.
And she's like, God, sometimes when you know like she's
(42:18):
being a bit naughty. I pretend like the Gruffalo's coming
and if there's any kind of noise because in an
apartment complex, she's like, that's the gruffalo.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Oh that'll get if you're not a slip, grufflo will come.
It's the same as saying like, you're not going to
get anything for Christmas?
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Right, She's like, is that causing any long term PTSD?
Speaker 1 (42:41):
The good thing about that is you'll never know until
later on.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Here of being abducted by a huge grizzly animal that's
on par with a.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Bear, unless she gets a grizzly kink that don't makes sense,
So you won't know it's caused any trauma.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
And she'll even go as far as that. She'll say
that she'll go, let me go out and check, and
she's like the hang on, wait there, and she's like, oh,
she comes, MAK and he's like, quick, go to sleep
because the gufflo is here and if you're awake, we'll
get you.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Oh that's good. That's good. So make them scared of something.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
And she's petrified of the petrified.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
And I think that's better than like, I think that's
better Like that like the other characters in the world,
like Santa and the Easter Bunny. We just let them in,
Like at least with the Gruffler, you'd be like, oh,
try and keep them out for as long as possible.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
Get the broomstick.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's good.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
She came out and saw us one time and she
was like, gosh, that was a tough battle. They didn't have.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
She just walks in like limps in. That's good. I
like it. With the fake arm anything, the scary child,
I'm all about well said. I've got one from a
listener here as well, from Danny L. I've caught my
son swearing sneakily, a softly whispered fuck here and chat
there like that. I've generally told him that Santa has
(43:59):
a list in keeps telling you of how many times
kids swear. His face was very worried. I like, I
was like, whispering it. Yeah, he could just be walking
around down fuck this fuck bad like my kids. But
that's my fault.
Speaker 5 (44:14):
Ship.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah, would you say nothing. I was on the phone
to someone in my car. Also, the best place to
take a phone calls in your car. I just can't
say it. And the guy that was on the other
line was very potty mouthed, very bad and my kid
is so used to that now that we got out
of the car and I was like, oh, gee, said
(44:35):
a lot of naughty words, and he guess, oh I
didn't hear it, doesn't even hear it anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
So good, that's good, excess, that's great, because.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Now I'm just like fuck this and funk that around
now he's so desensitized, so desensitive and honestly, like I've
always said, I will never change who I am and
how I speaker, and like they understand that they're aughty
words instead.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Of white noise. You just it's like ship ship ship sh.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Fuck and it's like, oh, like even this morning, I
was like, no, like I just add the word fucking
the sentences as you do it, because it's just like
such a habit and that's just who I am. He
doesn't even take any notice anymore. It's perfect. It's worked
a treat. Macy, on the other hand, that's another week
I'm and she's like, questions I got Okay, I've got
(45:23):
a question. It's not a list of questions, but hopefully
we'll help the listeners. You never know, let me set
the scene please. I'm at the park with Macy's, Macey
and I. It's a week day. I have her on Thursdays.
Macy's my nearly four year old. Two more weeks before
and immunizations. April wrote that down.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
The fucking do the name registry thing for Poppy.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
She's still no named got eight weeks, so we're still
stuck with Poppy. Good because I don't want to do that,
just to look at the paperwork and I'm like, I
don't give shit about her name. I just don't want
to do that. Jim last, No, you're safe if thank god.
So I'm in the park with Macy's. It's a pretty
quiet day because other kids are a kin do you whatever,
bah blah. Anyway, it's a park with a fence around it.
(46:03):
Safe first, cool to be cautious. So I'm pushing MACI
on the swing and the gate is right there and
this car backs up to the grass and the kid,
the toddler, gets out of the car, runs across the
grass to the gate and I'm there, the mum's getting
things out of the car. There's you know, it's a
safe spot, safe place the kids right there, and I'm
(46:24):
looking at this kid who's looking at me thinking open
the fucking gate, come on, and I'm like it yeah, yeah.
And my question is.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
To the listener, if they didn't kids look at us
like we're just servants.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Most kids do. Yeah. So my question to the listener
is do I open the gate or do I ignore
the child and wait for the parent to come over
and open the gate and let them in. The reason
why I asked this is because I felt bad, because
I'm quite chivalry is not dead with me. I'll open the.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Gate, very caring, giving person.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
But at the same time, I'm like, what if I
open the gate and that parent comes over and like, hey,
you've just let my kid in. It's not your kid,
it's not your Yeah. Now he's dead and you.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Know, now what do I do?
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (47:10):
So my question is do you open the gate at playgrounds?
Are the children of the children that you don't know
that you don't.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
I think if it's coming inside into the enclosure, it's
totally fine.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah, I don't think it is.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Also depends how much think no far out. It's just
easy just to ignore other children, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Yeah, But then I don't want the parent to come
over and be like if say what you can't.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
The parent coming inside has got full hands full of
different and sometimes those pop locked doors to get into
the play, they're hard to open. I think if you're
opening it for the parents, I think, what you definitely
don't want to do? We can we can all agree
that you don't. Because sometimes when leaving daycare and a parent,
(48:05):
you know, I'll go to the sign out in the
iPad and then Marley said, Marley's cool. If Lowelan runs
to the gate leaving and a parent goes.
Speaker 1 (48:13):
Here, you go, oh, yeah, it's gone. Yeah. Yeah. If
the kid's trying to get out, then no, that's a
definite no note. Yeah. But then again I.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Reckon, But what would how would? The most important consideration
here is how's makes he going to react? Because if
I'm pushing Lola on the swing and I back off
for two pushes, She's like.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa what the pain force?
I pushed me?
Speaker 2 (48:40):
A piece of shit?
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Like push yourself.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
And so if I walk away, if I leave her,
if I desert Lola on the swing to then care
for another child, she's gonna lose it.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Yeah. But also I don't want a parent being like, what,
you're too good to opening game for us?
Speaker 2 (48:53):
I don't think, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
You're looking busy.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
If you're If you're on your phone and you look
up at the gate and you see it a child
there in need, and you go back to the phone,
you're once you're on the swing and you're pushing. That
removes you from any type of responsibility to help anybody out.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
But what if they stopped, they parked there, and their
intention was to not go to the park, but the
kids ran to the park. There are so many levels
imagine that. Thanks man, Yeah, we're actually we're already late.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
We're going we're going to a fucking birthday party down
the road, and you've just ruined the whole day.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Your piece of ship, exactly right. There's so many differences, man,
just safe, just pretended in zem If you don't know.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
The child or the parent, I just I just I mean,
even if I know the parent, I kind.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Of yeah, I probably could have been like, hey, is
it okay if they come in, But but then you're
like you're trying to hit on me?
Speaker 2 (49:46):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Yeah? Then there's so many I'm married, right, never stopped
a man before they think of the outcomes here, Because
but what if I did say that and she's like,
you were such a polite man and I and then
all of a sudden, I've got a new best friend.
There's so many different I just don't know what to do.
So what I did do is I was like, all right,
(50:10):
the kids right here, Okay, the mum's getting her stuff out.
I just poked my tongue out at him. And then
I went back to pushing Macie.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
That's weird, that's so I blew him my kiss.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
I was like, what do you moved on with my
Lafe just thought it was funny. I entertained that kid as.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Well, that's a weird. Please, if you're out there, don't
be poking your tongue out at random kids that you
don't know you're.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
Going to come across. Pull the face and him. Why
just not a misgender the child? Oh my god, there's
so many elements to this question.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Anyway, it's a minefield out there.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
It's a minefield. I think you're right with saying we
can all agree to not let them out. That sounded bad.
I think that sounded that sounded more captive, just.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Focus on the swing. When you're pushing your kid on
the swing, focus on the one and you.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Can't see them. Just pretend you're blind, Oh god.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Were walking? Stick with you the cane and then you
start tapping smart.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
I'm going to do that from now on. If you've
enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review five stars?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Can I just I need to say something?
Speaker 1 (51:19):
You need to the reviews.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
The reviews are outstanding.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
Okay, I don't know if it's I don't know, I
it's people just pumping our tires up. Maybe they're like, oh,
the boys will love this, so you.
Speaker 1 (51:30):
Know, yeah, we do. We love it, we love it.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
But I'm also like, if it's so good, why A
you're not sharing it with people, Why you're not giving
it to Why you're not like assume why the number?
I'm looking at the numbers and like, if everyone's loving
what we're audishing out, surely surely you recommend it to
a friend, family, another parent. Is this a pyramid skin
(51:52):
It's yeah. All we need to do is recommend three people.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Down those three people can recommend three people and then
and then the doting dad pyramids.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
Once you recommend them, get them to pay a subscription
fee of fifty dollars.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
I don't who's getting that money. I don't see the sand.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
I would love it. I just like it. If you
really do, if you mean what you say in the review,
if you're being honest there and you're saying this makes
you laugh and it improves your day.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
If we get a review saying so and so sent
me here to listen to you guys, and here's my review. Yeah,
wamm that's what I need.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
That's what I need from you guys.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
That's okay. Otherwise, you can find us on socials at two.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Doting Dads, on TikTok Instagram. There is a Facebook group
as well, Two Doting Dads almost four thousand Minnit's hopping off,
going off, and YouTube, TV and YouTube. This is also
available in long form video.
Speaker 1 (52:45):
If you want to watch us bumble our way through this,
then you can do that. Goodbye, and that's it.
Speaker 4 (52:51):
Fact.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Now, one last message before we go. We have to
make a special announcement because today is a sad day.
Here are two Doting Dads. We are bidding farewell to
the one and only Jessica Smalley.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Yeah, so, jess has been with us for a little
while now come two years almost two years, and she
has steered this ship. She has whipped us into shape,
and today is her well, this week is her last
week actually, and we appreciate that everything Jess has done
for us.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
It's not been an easy task coming in here and
trying to manage two dads who have been juggling multiple
projects children in addition to this podcast. So it has
not been a job that has been smooth sailing what
are sailing analogies? But Jess has grabbed yancha.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Very good. She has pulled the ropes.
Speaker 2 (54:05):
I don't know anything else. I don't stop it, but
it's Look, it's not easy. It's not easy, and she's
been consistent from start to finish and wanting nothing but
the best for this podcast, growing us, making our social
media as good as it can be, launching YouTube. There's
been so much that has benefited this podcast and a
(54:29):
little baby, which is two doting dads, and for that
we are so thankful for her time, her effort, and
her energy. So Jess, we really appreciate it. And she's
looking right now at a laptop because we're gushing over her.
And it's always awkward when you get the compliments when
you're in the same.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
Room, absolutely, but we also wish just the best I'm
sure listens as well with whatever is next, whatever comes
next for her, and we'll be championing her, will be
cheering for her for sure. And don't be shy and
feel free to touch base with us whenever you like
as yours, because we.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
Love the Seven Seas, Jess, and what we would love
to do is jump back in a yacht together and
keep sailing. In fact, if you continues for no reason,
thank you, Jess. And I know that I speak on
behalf of the listeners who have also appreciated your time
and effort across socials because you have been a consistent
(55:23):
voice to those individuals.
Speaker 1 (55:26):
Especially when I'm not responding, someone's responding, thank.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
You, Thank you, Jess. We appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
Yeah, that's a train as she sails off, Thank you, Jess.
Speaker 4 (55:46):
Two.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight onto
people's today. This episode was recorded on gadigal Land.
Uh, this is like an hour. It's a shout out.
Really please, I want to shout out to the self
service check out lady yesterday afternoon because we couldn't scan
the barbecue chicken, so she gave it to me for free.
What yeah, what, I won't say which supermarket was. I
don't want to get her in trouble.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And she I was with Oscar and she was like,
you enjoy that chicken?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I enjoyed it? Again, It's hard to get my kids
that eat dinner.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
So welcome back to doting dads.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I am Maddie, Jake and I'm Ash and this is
a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
It is the good, it is bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
And we don't give advice because you're not very smart.
Agreed as we have, we have a lot, a lot
to get through in this episode if we can just
very quickly. Before we started recording, Jess, producer was asking
a question of a certain water bottle that belonged to
(01:19):
her was left here at the household. I believe Laura
has thrown it out.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Let's just collectively blame her.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I think she's just she's she's so trigger happy to
throw anything out like canthor is dirty. She's like, put
it in the bin, check it out, and Jess, I
think Laura has thrown it out. But there's only one
way to confirm this. I think we should just give
Laura a really quick call. She's not going to.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Pick up no, I can feel it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Laura. Hello, sound you sound different?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I'm in Zara.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh what are you getting?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Nothing? I'm going to walk out of here though, hold on?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Sorry about that being very busy question. Cast your mind
back to a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We were cleaning out the house. There was a specific
type of water bottle that was here on the kitchen bench.
I think it was in like the drainage tray. It
was an age.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Water bottle that was in the drainage tree.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
It was a g one water bottle. I think it
was glass, do you yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I vaguely remember it.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
What did we do with that?
Speaker 4 (02:35):
I think you threw it that because it had like
green stuff in it?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Ah you who?
Speaker 5 (02:39):
So?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Who threw it out?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Ma? Wow? Okay, all right, didn't you say? Didn't you say?
What is this? Why is this rotting?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And I was like, I've got nightety what it is,
and then you're like, throw it away.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Wow is the fingering bottle?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I think so it was Jess's oh.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Ship, you guys need to buy just in your drink bottle.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
We're right, we're getting on it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I been there at the junction, man, don't group me
in with you.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Guys, green.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Green it was vitamins. It was it had been.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Less in the covered for a really long time, and that.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Is like made a juice or something in it.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Jess.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I really I appreciate your endeavor to be healthy, and
I'm so sorry that we uh that we yeah, well,
I actually don't.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
We didn't do anything that MAT's right away. I'm very sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I think everyone was like, what the fuck is this
doing here?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Everyone was commused. I don't know who it was. We
also found like three days after your record day. It
wasn't like it was on the record day. We were like,
where'd this come from?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Can we back up a little bit there, Laura, you
said you guys need to buy Jess and new water bottle.
I don't appreciate being grouped into this debarcle because I
wouldn't do something so absurd.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
That house is like your podcasting studio. I feel like
you can, you can look.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
If that's the case, I would like some sort of ownership.
I would like a percentage of the house. Please hang on, Laura,
I would say, Laura.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
That that was very quick to blame you, like, oh,
I have no doubt.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think you were the one that was like, we
knew this house was so clited, we need to get
rid of stuff now. And then you were like, get
rid of it, put it in the bin. And I
was like, well, Laura, just slow down for a second, relax,
and you're like, too late, it's fucking gone.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I am. I am the clean out queen. I like
to drinking the way, but I'm not not the culprit. No, No,
I didn't do that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Okay, Hey, don't forget to buy yourself a phone cover
when you're at the junction.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Yeah, that's why I'm going to do. I only dropped
on the ground. Now I'm scratching that down.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Okay. I love you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Wow, I don't know who to believe around to you go,
why do wives do this? Why do they just throw
things out for the sake of a there's two things
that irritate.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
What does she do?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
She throws things out? Random? No. Three things. We could
be here all day. We just add to it. Okay.
First of all, she'll just throw things out. They just
think it's Clark. It's in my way in the bin,
and it's like, no, there's no. I don't even own
a wall anymore.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Do you know why?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Because it's probably at the tip. I don't think about
the repercussions of that. Hence the water book. That's one two.
For some reason. If something is nearly empty and we
have a new one, finish it off. I have two
jars of veedgie might rock and rolling around my house
at the moment, and I'm like, which one do I use?
I don't want to get in trouble except gin.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Okay, in April's defense, we've got about three little jars
of honey at the moment, a little like squeezy tub things,
because they're really annoying. Once they're empty, there's a little
bit left. You can't get it out. You gotta wash
it out with hot water. Then it's just it's the admin.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yeah, okay, Honey's maybe the because it's sticky. It's very
stick but you can scrape the inside of veggimi.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, Laura, it's actually me.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Does this oh, go on.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Sometimes like if it's butter and I finished the butter,
I'm like, oh, just put it back in the fridge
and I'll deal with that later.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
It's like a toilet paper roller is hanging like one
bit over the top of the well. I didn't finish it.
And the third thing that she does do which I
know other people do this, Actually there's four, but I'm
not going to go on. Actually I might just group
this into one.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Please.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It's rearranging the house all things, especially in the kitchen.
It's very kitchen related and not telling me.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
So.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
You know how when you're making something to eat for you,
the kids or whatever, muscle memory takes you to the
covert or drawer where that thing is. As soon as
something's moved without you knowing. Your muscle memory is like,
hang on a.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Minute, dude, that the bin bin's move. Bin's mood was there.
I used to be in the middle of the room.
Now it's in the corner.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I put amusedly by wrapper on the floor the other
day here because I was like, this is.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Laura was like, it's just a fucking eyesaw, isn't it.
And I think it's a white it's a white bin.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
You lucky it's still out in public, because this is
the other thing that she would do when she's moving
things around, she puts things in the cupboard, like the toaster. Yeah,
where's the toaster gone?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
If it's being used on a daily basis, I think
it warrants being left out on the bench.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
It's earned, it's earned its place of real estate on
the bench, I think, especially if it's on a piece
of bench I'm not going to use anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It's it's it's more work to put it away. And
also there's bloody crumbs everywhere.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And you put crumbs from the bench to the floor
to the cupboard, so you're really dirty in three areas
of your house instead of the one spot which you
can lift it, wipe, put it back down. And it's
a good looking toaster. It's a brevel you get, you get,
you want to show it up.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's a sand colored toaster.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I want to show my appliances off, Thank you much.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It doesn't get any better than that. I mean, it
was a smag sure maybe that it could stay, but Brebell,
surely it's up there second tier.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, I want people to walk in my house and go, oh,
you got a Berebel, I got the same and you're like,
it's paying off.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It matches the kettle.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
See, we get it. Yeah, what is it about that
they don't get? I don't live in a museum, but
we love our wives so much, very much.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah. I wouldn't want it any other way. I have
to be very very careful, very careful not to criticize
the lawyer right now, because she's taken the brunt of
the nighttime situation. Oh yeah, we have a newborn pop wait,
five or six weeks old.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
That is fresh for the new listeners out there, and
it's Matt's third child.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I have to wake up. And I'm like, oh, gosh,
Poppy was awake a lot last night. And she goes, yeah,
it wasn't she And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
God yeah, And then you leave the room. He's like, sohole.
She knows I didn't wake up. I know you didn't.
You're a deep sleeper.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
She might be wondering about my bad I did.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Ask you and you just shunned me off. So do explain.
What does it say my special person? Grandparents' Day is Grandparents' day?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Is it grandparents at your school?
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It's Frank there.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
No Frank's actually I think he's at the doctors this morning.
So Mimi is there, which.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Is Frank's not there.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
No, he's guarded too, but he goes to a lot
of things.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
There's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Rules regarding grandparents day. Are you allowed two grandparents? My
sister was like, is at the same school, her kids
are a little bit older, but she was like, only
one grandparents allowed her child.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And I was like, oh, that's just causing division within families. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I was like, surely they can allow, especially.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
All four of them alive. Then what do you do?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
We didn't have any grandparents available today, yes, so we
didn't want Marley to be there empty handed, or a
couple of kids there with no one at their desk.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I'm always I.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Was like, I wanted to go over and be like
it's okay.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I know I did that fade interest like a little kids.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
There, but I went as her favorite person. And then
Laura Bloody came along as well, and I was like.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
So then she's like, give the badge to her. Now,
you're my special kind of person.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But it was a very exciting morning, about forty five
minutes just doing a couple of little drawings, A bit
of reading made the badge. I don't want to attack
the older generation here.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
ASH don't want to attack them, but I will go
for it.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I was as I was coloring in I was doing
a drawing with Miley, was sitting at her desk, and
I would pay attention to some of the other grandparents there,
in particular the grand pas, the older males, and watch
them trying to interact.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
It's really awkward with a young child. He's like, all right, Timmy,
what did you want to draw?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
And Timmy's like, we can draw pictures and he's like okay,
and then he's like, on his phone.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Why don't you draw a picture from the First World War.
I'd like to feel some nostalgia.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I have no idea how to interact with the kids.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
They don't. My dad's getting better, like I know, like
when I first had kids and he was he wasn't
very hands on, but like he's looked after them on
his own, like he spent the night, well, you know,
babysat for us a couple of times on his own
without Mum. Strategically, Mom's like he needs to get better
(11:18):
at this, and now he's just flying loves it. So
it is hard for them. But like once they realized
they if they just get on their level.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, these grandparents were not there anywhere. Yeah, they were
like it was level twelve. These kids are on ground level. Yeah,
there was there was a massive disconnect and well he's there,
like Dad, I'm like not right now, I'm watching the grandparents.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Did you get the old g you're a young grandfather?
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I had to pretend like.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I was old. I was like, hello, Molly, am.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I old ash. Ellie couldn't be there on Grandparents' Day
because because she's back in hospital and she's doing good.
She's doing good, but she just can't keep any weight on.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
She's still have They got to the back problem.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Finally, finally it's called seeded Iff, seed Iff Coostril. This
where do they come up with the name? I know
he told me the name of the phone, and I
was like, can you say that one more time slower?
Can you spell it out for me?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
People struggle to name their kids. How are people out
there naming fucking infections?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And ship shortened to seed iff.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
And then they shorten what's the point, just make it
seed iff.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
But but Thursday we were together, weren't we know we.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Weren't ignore me, you would have been recording or something.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
And a cool mom. And she was really well raised home,
and she was like, not with it. She's not about
nine kilos, there's not much.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
And she's not a big person to begin with.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Bag of bones. And I'm going to say this name wrong.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
What a real insensitive way to put that.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, she's a I know, sorry Ellie, but a gashtrom ontrologist,
not really the gastro ontrology and anyway, gastro the gastro guy.
I was like, hey, mum's not eaten for twenty four hours.
She's still like, has bad. She's gonna toilet a lot,
(13:12):
and she's like a little bit you know slow for
one of a better phrase.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And he was like, go to ear right now. And
I was like, Ellie, pack your bags, we're gonna ear.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
She was like I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
She did, You're not.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I was hanging this washing out for us. I've gotta
have a shower. Oh oh god.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
So we raced the ear and I was like, hey,
the tree arched nurse is going to come out. You're
not well, you don't look well, but just you know,
don't don't perk up for the tri arched nurse because
obviously for people who haven't spent any time in ar
the tree arched nurses there to assess how serious the
situation is and if you're fine, back of the list,
(13:54):
be more serious. And I was like, just like what
you're doing right now, like you know, you can barely talk,
Like just keep this?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Can you tie it down a little bit more?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Trio nurse comes out and they're like, oh, oh god.
And I was like, she's not eat she hasn't eaten
in twenty four hours. She's not she didn't drink anything.
She's shutting herself twenty four seven. She didn't triog nurse
wouldn't look at me. But we finally then we finally
made it inside the waiting room with the art's quite interesting.
You're looking at other people. You're like, I wonder what
(14:25):
he's in here for.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you do that thing, yeah exactly
right where you're like, do I get too close? I
don't want to catch it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
But mom had gone into hospital. They did the test.
They found the ced if she's on the mend, good
and good to hear she will be back fighting fit.
And also, if you know my mama, she this is
the first time you're hearing about her being in hospital. Apologies,
but she's doing fine.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
That's good. It's good to hear. I'm glad she's on
the Men. I did text her, Yes, you did so
to my parents? What Yeah, you don't know that.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
That's lovely.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Now Mum's like, oh, I sent her a message. I
was like, did you know who it was? And she
was like yeah, she responded season this season from wooo
whatever any very good. I'm glad that she is on
The Men. Are we in housekeeping? Is that what's happening.
Let's just preface this by somewhere along the line there
we fell into housekeeper. It's a fusion. It's a fusion episode.
We just got a fuse it all together. But I
(15:17):
have something for you that you might interest you, especially
now that your wife is, you know, on the Men.
From having a baby. She's going through spending a lot,
on a lot of nights awake with the baby.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
And she's working really hard, burning the candle from both ends.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Very well said. Now, there's been a breaking, breaking new
study on Instagram. It's an Instagram article. To you, it's legit.
I don't know how they got this done.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
We start doing research articles in two dads. Oh yeah,
just completely made up.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I love it. We should just do it.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
No one's question.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I was questioning any of this and if any, if anything,
people are heroing it.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Maybe we could get on the news.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That'd be great. It's so, did you guys get this stab.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Here?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
It is? It's a breaking new study. It shows that
giving your girlfriend's slash wife whatever foot massages makes her
love you twenty three percent more.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
That's a very specific number. How did they get out
the how are they gauging the love? The brain trusts
over at Instagram like what have we got here? Four
percent of be thinking, Someone's like yeah, time twenty percent.
Someone was like what about twenty five, Like let's meet
yea twenty two point five. It was like too many
(16:34):
characters twenty three percent? I mean, have you tried it?
Laura is not really into me touching her feet, if
I'm being honest.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
She still washes them in the bathroom scenk right, Yeah,
technically the long line somewhere you're touching them.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Do you have it? On the weekend, we were at
the Halloween party a few dollars down and at the
Halloween party there was a couple of like prop feet
and hands that were like cut off seven and they
were just around the place and you're like, and Laura
was sitting on the seat, sitting on her foot, and
again I love my wife. It is beautiful. But her
(17:13):
feet very uh how you say they're footing very footy.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
They're very footy. They're like, they're very feety. Those feet
are feeding, they're very very there's sandpaper, rough sanda, some
work they But again, I love my wife. Anyway, Laura's
sitting on the seat, sitting on her foot, and someone
was like.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Oh, and thought.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
It was a Halloween foot. I thought it was a
proper foot. And they were like, and Laura's going, excuse me,
and the I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
It's just so hideous. I thought it was a prop foot.
Oh did you do anything about it when you got home?
Speaker 6 (17:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
No, no, But Laura, I I like your.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Guy, pregnancy guy. What else? Nothing, I'm not want to
touch feet. No.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Look, she's the gym all day dead lives.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I was gonna hate me for this, but I'm gonna
do it. Yes, So her big toe, it clicks freaks
me out.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (18:21):
So she goes like like this yep, yeah, but like
on command, like.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Like keeping time or is she keeping rhythm?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
If we are, it's like it's like the person in
the band with a triangle. It's like give us what click.
It's like, oh so not for me, she's also got
a hooked toe. Oh my, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
We're we're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
They're not wives like this at okay, well let's steer this.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
That's what would you like? Just sorry, just question if
you wanted to increase the love with April, you know,
if you want to get close to that twenty three percent.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Acts of service, that's her thing. So no touchy feely,
not really no. So like, for example, the dream result
for me is which ends in one thing that we know,
the horizontal dance. We don't do it horizontally, but thank
you anyway, moving on, April's gonna hate me. No. So
(19:29):
the end goal here is that when.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
They love hearing about your sex life.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
In the bedroom, when the when the bed routine is
done no sorry, sorry, read the room. Sorry, when the
whole bed routine is done, which is the end of
the it's like okay, well yeah, what time is this? Oh?
Seven seven point thirty? Love that if she comes out
of say, reading the books, and the house is there's
nothing for her to do, whatsoever, but to shower and
(19:55):
enjoy the rest of her night. You're ranks of service,
you're clean the kitchen, oh, the place, your dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
When are you having your dinner?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Like nine pm?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
You have a late night?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah wow, yeah, a couple of gummies and I'm pretty hungry.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Just the way your schedule works in the year, that's.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
The perfect evening, you ask me. But anyway and anyway, anyway,
is that it for housekeeping fusion? What else we got?
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yes, just a quick update on the softboards for those
who have won one. I think there's five people if
they're listening thinking about you in April.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Okay, think about me, especially after you're posting about her
a lot at the moment.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Oh yeah, sorry, shut up. Anyway, we're in a good
space sideboards soft board. Okay, you know it's not soft
this board. What was I saying? Softboards? Yeah, so I
(20:58):
haven't had an update there. Arriving in the country mid November,
and I'll have them shipped out to.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
You a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
No, I've got that. I've got the actual update. Yeah,
people like was this made up?
Speaker 5 (21:07):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
It's not they're meant to be. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
So many email being like, hey, congratulations, you've been selected
too Nigeria.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
No, it's it's legit and it is happening, and I'll
keep once I've got the exact date that I can
organize to send them out to you. They were for summer,
and summer doesn't start till December. If anyone looks at
a calendar anyway, that is the end of housekeeping. Okay,
but I want to We've thrown our wives under the
bus enough. I want to throw my kids under the
bus a little bit here. Please look between April and
(21:40):
I'm going to take responsibility for how this panned out.
We were just away on the weekend with some friends.
They how was that weekend? I'm about to tell you
If you just wait now, I'll tell you about a
specific moment. The weekend was great, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Good weather was that it was overcast.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
The first day was a little cars but it was
kind of nice and pleasant because I wasn't too hot anyway.
So we arrived kids, no kids, kids with kids, families.
There's two other families. There's three families, okay, and a
friend of mine they there wider family have a like
a shack okay, at a place called Swan Bay. It's
(22:20):
like a row of houses on on a bay obviously,
but it's not like it's not bustling, if that makes sense.
It's quite small, quiet north of Sydney North, a couple
of hours north, and it is quite an old house.
It's yeah, it's like maybe a half hour past a
little bit more. And the house is really old, like
(22:40):
it's been passed down pretty much. There's been minor tweaks
to it, but it's it's got the authentic authenticity of
an old house. Okay, it's like that, like old carpet old.
It's probably a spestos whatever on land sheds in the
back like a proper old slight lean. Yeah. If it
gets windy, it runs on the front like not that bad,
(23:04):
not that so anyway, I took the family. My family
had been there before, but when they were much younger.
Macy probably was in the picture, and Oscar was quite young,
so none the wiser, some would say, So I've taken
them to this house, and we've got there. We got
there first, and I've gone and I've unlocked the house,
and my kids get out of the car and the
first thought is what's this place? And I was like,
(23:28):
I didn't really preface that it's not going to be
quite as modern as they used to.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Now they've got the new apartment.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
I know.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And you know what it reminded me of. And I'll
tell you why it reminded me of. This is, you
know the movie Grown Ups by Adam Sandler, and he's
so he's quite he's like a celebrity in this in
this movie, and his kids are used to a certain
type of lifestyle, but they go on holiday to a
lake house, which is nowhere near the same lifestyle as that.
(23:54):
For example, they cut from a silver cloth.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Is that say thank you? Yep?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I think that's right. I would say this. But for example,
the TV has a big box on the back of it.
Why is it so fat form? Yeah? And they're why
does it not have Netflix? Where's YouTube? Why is there
no Wi Fi? Where's the dishwasher? It's coming now? Literally,
it's like, can we just order something to eat? I'm like,
(24:21):
who the fuck are these kids?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Where are the hoverboards?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah? Exactly right, And they're like, I'm like, the kitchen
is like original kitchen, there's no dishwasher. Who's going to
wash the dishes. It's like me relaxed, CID, I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
It's per usual.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, Like so all of the modern amenities that they're
used to, this house has none of them, right, And
it was like, ekon, no way, They've just installed ceiling vans.
That was the entertainment of the day. The kids were
just like watching the ceiling fan.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
But the whole vibe of the place is to get
away from the model the man. That's the whole charm
of it.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
But it takes I guess a little while to TRANSI
into a new environment for the kids.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah, and it was like I was like, are you
fucking guys for real? Like, but then I thought, ah,
this is probably my fault that they're like this, because,
for example, we have a robot vacuum and my kids
were like, wow, that's been nice. It was free. It
was like the rice bubbles dry rice bubbles thank god,
(25:24):
ended up on the old disgusting carpet in this house
and Oscar was like, oh, the rabot will get it.
I was like, fuck at hell. And every five minutes
I would come back to one of the kids trying
to work out why the TV didn't have Netflix and
I kept saying, we're not here for this. There's yards
(25:46):
out the back, beauty.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
That like like the difference is right. So the guy
who owns the hat or the family who owns the house,
their kid gets there and he's like, come on, Oscar,
let's go straight out to the bay looking for crabs.
He knows what's up. He knows what's happening, and it's
like he's like, okay. So for example, sometimes you know
when you go to a salt water body of salt
(26:10):
water and it can be the salt can make your
skin itchy. Ah Jesus, yeah, it's that is.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Then it's a night.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
It was like the end of the world when Oscar
realizes made him itchy.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
And also it's not it's like every third, like time
they're in the salt water makes him ITCHI not every time,
So it's like such a roll of the dice. I'm like, well,
they'd be itchy and then mylet's like, yeah, it's attacking me.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's exactly what it was like with Oscar. He just
comes running like I thought something was really wrong, dipped
in acid. Yeah, and he's like I was like, what's wrong.
But it's like I'm it was shut. I was like
getting the shower robots ye has helped me. I was like,
I was like, go have a shower, like you have
(26:55):
to wait for the hot water to come on there.
It was like, oh, what a shower. I'm like, it'll stop,
it's not what anything to do with water. I'm like,
oh my.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
God, these kids, what am I raising?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
What the fuck am I doing? Where's the PlayStation? Oh,
for fuck's sake, please tell me there's a simulator here, literally,
And it was like, oh my god, I just do.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
You think that The other parents were looking at you
being like.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Oh god, I think we got it all out of
the way before everyone got.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
There the first couple hours.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
It was in the first couple of minutes.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It was like did he come good by the end?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, Once they got used to that there's no modern
amenities in this house.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Man like.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
He was like, that's right, We'll like obviously there's no
coffee machine, and I'm like, not my kids drink coffee.
But they witnessed us at home using a coffee machine
with the knock box and the steam the whole fucking
woo ha lardie dar version and like April turns the
kettle on and what is that? Oh my god, Macy
(28:05):
really topped it off, would you do? I was like,
what do you what do you feel like for dinner?
Popcorn chicken?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, Macey. I hate to burst your bubble.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Here, but there's no KFC here.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
We just killed the kangaroo about to literally we're about
to eat that on the fire in the back of
the backyard.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I said, of all the things that we drove past
on the way here, do you did we drive past
the KFC? That's your problem?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Worked that out? Oh my god? Can we order something? No?
It was just so I'm like, fuck, it just made
me not the special person.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
But and that explains your post in the Facebook group
were all.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Like yeah, I wanted to and I did, and I
mean I'll read something them out next week in housekeeping.
But it was it just gave the IRG like they
unappreciate what they've got and they were like so disappointed.
It was like, they're going because that's the thing. They
were like so excited to go on holidays, right, but
when they got there they felt like it was more
of a concentration camp than a holiday anyway. But I
(29:06):
spent the whole time just being like be more appreciative
and all this sort of shit. But then we get
home and it's like back to the normal, back to
the norm pretty much where it's like the robots, oh
my god, simulators here walking in Like how can the
robots like? Thank god you're home anyway, Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
We mentioned Hugo we did last week here Go two
v a guest on the podcast good Friend of two
Doting Dads. Great Friend of two Doting Dads had a
major surgery a few weeks ago. We're gonna give me
a quick call just to check in and see how
he's going.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Hello, mate, how are you?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
How are you here?
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Go? I'm doing okay, county in hospital?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
But are you really back in hospital? Did you come out?
You were just still there from last time?
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Way man.
Speaker 5 (29:53):
I came literally out for a day and then my
bloody had.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
A thing about bloody.
Speaker 5 (30:00):
Got bow goes to sleep and in a lot of pain,
and that's the bloody rush back in on Saturday, and
I could actually be here till yeah to just been
on gut rest clearfluence since Friday.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Be here till Friday. Some bloody So.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Your bow went to sleep as it similars like when
your leg goes to sleep.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Kind of literally like often if you push it too much,
it can and maybe I did a bit too much
too soon.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I've only got two meters of bow? What do you know?
Have you?
Speaker 1 (30:32):
What do you know? We have?
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Yeah? Eight?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
So like oh wow, wow, okay.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Yeah, So I don't have a large bow.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
So you guys will have about two meters of large
bow and then the average human has about six meters
of small bower and I've only got about two meters
of that, so it's you can really sickly live with
about a meter.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
So I've got a meet it to play with.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
But we don't have a bowl off? Are we? How
much you got.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
I'm cutting it fine, I'll tell you what. I don't
want to lose much more. But it's just a bloody, sensitive.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
Sensitive old thing.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
So I'm now stuck in hospital till Friday and some
bloody clear fluids and free fluids and it's just I
have a gut rest and then once it starts working again,
I'll hopefully be out that.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Yeah, try and get back to a bit of normality.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Which hospital are you when Hugo.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
Saint Vincent's private in darling Hurst.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I was hoping you'd be Prince of Wales.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yeah, that's a weird hope to have my mum's and
Prince of Wales.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
I was like, yeah, yeah, the old.
Speaker 5 (31:40):
Dead, two birds with one stone.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
How's the rest of your recovery going?
Speaker 4 (31:48):
Well? It was going really well, so I posted surgery.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
It was a really big success, you know, I recovered
really well, and then I was you know, and you
tube out each day and you drain it each day,
and I was in real good spirits and then I
left Tostl after ten days, which was absurd, Like the
surgeon was so stoked with ours recovering and he said
(32:10):
he was happy for me to cover from home. So
it was going really well into this little hiccup. So
hoping this is just a just a little outline.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
The timing of it.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Is pretty shit because it's my bloody birthday today actually,
so it's oh, happy birthday May So it's it's not
an ideal place to spend your birth sab.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
It was funny but the nurse.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
Came in for the food, came in this morning on
clear fluids and I had some jelly and I was like, oh, well,
I've never had birthday breakfast jelly, so I enjoyed that,
and then a minute later the nurse came in and
said happy.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
Birthday, so I'll thank you. And she's like, now I
just have to.
Speaker 5 (32:47):
Do your heperinjection, which is like a daily needles stab
into your leg for reducing blood plots.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
And I was like, oh, that's that's exactly what.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
You want to exact your birthday jelly and exactly a
massive all.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
But then avers been in, which is amazing.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Teddy will come in a bit later.
Speaker 5 (33:06):
I'll probably try and have a little hour, so go
to a playground and I'm nice, try I get some fresh.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Air, so it's not all bad.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
You learn to bloody, you know, celebrate the little winds
in a day and so there will be no different.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So be right, have you got enough entertainment? Is there
anything that we can do to provide some entertainment? Made?
Speaker 5 (33:22):
Look, I'm pretty good off. My mum's actually coming in today,
which is great. She could spend time with me, which
is awesome. And that I'm just keep you busy, paying
free on some meds and stuff, being comfortable and you know,
watching some TV shows and stuff, so you know, you
get you get through the days as best as you can,
and hopefully I'll be.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Out on Friday.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Have you been listening to so much, you know, two
doting dads since you've been in there.
Speaker 5 (33:47):
I must admit I've I've been pretty nauseous for a
big chunk of my that first sort of ten days
when my bow was waking up. So it's only really
this last few days where I've been being able to
watch some TV and amer even got me for my
birthday the latest air pods. Perfect listen to dads, you know,
(34:11):
lying in the hospital bed, catching up on the episodes
I've missed.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I saw Actually Sarah, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Listened to her episode yet, so I'm definitely looking forward
to listening to that, which you know, she's been amazing
reaching out and messaging and we're going to do a
little charity cooking collaborationally next year, so definitely listen to her.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
If you need any shirts.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
Yes, I saw a little Blueberry parting.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
It was actually very good.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
You go, Is this the last major surgery that you
think you'll need?
Speaker 4 (34:46):
Fingers cross made? That's the plan. The plan is now.
I've got this permanent stoma, this permanent bag.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
And like I said, only only a couple of meters
with bow left.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
The plan is now to you know.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
That will keep you going for hopefully the next you know,
thirty four today, so hopefully the next bloody thirty four
years plus. But yeah, it's probably I think it's my
eighth major open abgominal surgery, and you know I've had
over it, you know, a dozen or some other surgery.
So I'm really hoping, Yeah, you know the significance thirty
(35:19):
four today, you know, I'm hoping that I can put
it all behind me, move on, prove quality of life,
and yeah, start to enjoy that normality as best as
I can, which I've kind of haven't had for a
long time.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Oh man, I was like, you're an absolute truper. It's
unbelievable you've had to go through. So we're thinking of you.
We're glad you're doing better. Big love to yourself, Amber
and Teddy, and we hope enjoy the rest of your
day and your birthday in particular.
Speaker 5 (35:47):
Yeah, no, thank you, Jets, really appreciate it. Yeah, I
always love the support, love what you guys are doing.
And now I'll definitely get those AirPods going and catch
up on a few episodes.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
You don't have to, no, he must.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
You quiz me.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Yeah, all right, man, we appreciate you, and yes we're
thinking of your mate, and we'll touch base again and
just see how you go on. Hopefully the end of
the week you're out, we can see you.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Yeah, fingers cross catch up.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
So you guys, all right, mate, full on, full on.
It is very full on and like man like he
puts on a brave face. He's still got his humor.
And I mean, it's so important that people go get early,
get checked, early diagnosis, and Hugo has done that twice
and thankfully he's been able to save his life twice.
But the battle continues. And yeah, we're thinking of you, mate.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
It makes sure appreciate how lucky we are. We'll have
been watching Hugo on Socials that Hugo Underscore t V
and you know, watching his little boy Teddy come in
the hospital and like, oh man, it's so tough man, yeah,
really tough. But Hugo, we love you, and please, if
you want to jump into a socials, give a message
of support because he he loves it and it helps
so much. We really appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
Ash.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
There's a very quick story. I know you've been you've
been itching to tell a story about about Macy and
a seal.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Well, now I feel like it's not going to be
that good.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
No, sorry, I've just said and you've told us that
it's one of the best stories. We often complain about parenting, Okay,
when I say often every episode, every episode, but it's
also important Ash to say at times that we do
(37:32):
love this job.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Yeah, the dad job or the podcast job.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
The dad job. Of course we love the podcast. Ever,
everyone knows we never complained about the podcast.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
I always do when you're not around.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Sometimes this episode I'm like, Ash, is a nightmare, Like,
don't listen to that one.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
That's not good.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
But something happened to me recently that I was like, obviously,
it's hard work, it's exhausting, it's relentless, it's frustrating at times,
but then these are moments they just completely remove all
of that frustration and also like numb the frustration that's
to come. So at the moment. Marley loves a little note.
(38:11):
I make her lunch in the morning and in her
lunch box, her little like cooler bag. All write a
note and I'll put it in there. Sometimes are really
dumb notes. For example, why can't eggs tell each other jokes?
Because I crack each other.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Up very good.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
She's like, I didn't get that one, and I'll try
another one. I was like, I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Okay, So he just CHATJP hered a bunch of se
it I like it. I do like her and she
doesn't know that getting them.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yeah, she doesn't know that. And then I wrote her
a nice letter And how did that go? It went
really well?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
No, what did it say? We got it here?
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I said, dear Marley, this is your dad writing this.
I host to avoid any confusion. I hope you had
a yummy lunch. And I'm so lucky to have a
smart and brave and funny best friend that is also
my daughter.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Have a great day at school.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
And I can't wait to see you when I pick
you up. Love you to the moon and back a
million times from Dad.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
That is lovely, thank you. That is very nice. And
she's responded. She's responded loving this.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
She goes, h four Dad, love from Malie May two. Dad,
it is the fuck I'm going to cry.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Do you want me to read it?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Okay? All right two Dad, Me four. Dad. This is
the same, Let too, Dad. It is the best thing
in my life to have a dad like you. You
make me feel safe. Love you. Hope you had a fun.
I hope you had fun at work. You are crying.
That is lovely and that's cry worthy, I think, and
(40:00):
also well written from happens to be That is wild.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Yeah. So, sometimes as hard as parenting is, when you
get little moments.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Oh yeah, everything is forgotten and it makes it all worthwhile.
There is something that your children can give you that
nothing else in the world can. And that's exactly what
I'm talking about. It's things like that that people that
don't have kids will never understand. That's what I was saying.
So now I feel like I can't tell you my story.
(40:34):
You try to beef me up on the story and
then you get your dish out that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
So when I get that note, I'm like, oh, that's
beautiful spelling.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
We're going to be like spelling mistake. She put a
seat in that making anyway, we can come back to
my story in other times, I don't feel it's fitting
for that.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Sorry, no, don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
No, I like that much better. That's we can. There's
no rush on that one. Shall we go into life?
Tell me loud, tell me little love.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
I was at the Halloween party with a foot incident
with Laura.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Oh yes, yes, and the horrific foot that is Laura.
I love you.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Oh god, she has beautiful feet. We're at the party
and a couple of parents there were like, oh, what
do you do? And I said, I do a podcast.
My bad just went off. I said, oh, I do
a podcast and like what do you talk about? And
I'd say, oh, you know, sometimes we talk about parenting lies.
And then one parent was like, oh, she had a
(41:43):
couple of wines and she's like yes, She's.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Like, I've got to lie.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
I can tell you yes, and she was like oh,
it's a bit of a bad one. And I was like, no,
we'd never judge, you know, we will, but.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Maybe on occasion I will.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
And she goes, oh, look, you know the story Gruffalo yep.
And I was like yeah, yeh, I know. And she goes, well, look,
my daughter's really afraid of the Gruffalo and I was
like I get that, you know, it's scary, scary, scary character.
And she's like, God, sometimes when you know like she's
(42:18):
being a bit naughty. I pretend like the Gruffalo's coming
and if there's any kind of noise because in an
apartment complex, she's like, that's the gruffalo.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Oh that'll get if you're not a slip, grufflo will come.
It's the same as saying like, you're not going to
get anything for Christmas?
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Right, She's like, is that causing any long term PTSD?
Speaker 1 (42:41):
The good thing about that is you'll never know until
later on.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Here of being abducted by a huge grizzly animal that's
on par with a.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Bear, unless she gets a grizzly kink that don't makes sense,
So you won't know it's caused any trauma.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
And she'll even go as far as that. She'll say
that she'll go, let me go out and check, and
she's like the hang on, wait there, and she's like, oh,
she comes, MAK and he's like, quick, go to sleep
because the gufflo is here and if you're awake, we'll
get you.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Oh that's good. That's good. So make them scared of something.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
And she's petrified of the petrified.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
And I think that's better than like, I think that's
better Like that like the other characters in the world,
like Santa and the Easter Bunny. We just let them in,
Like at least with the Gruffler, you'd be like, oh,
try and keep them out for as long as possible.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
Get the broomstick.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's good.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
She came out and saw us one time and she
was like, gosh, that was a tough battle. They didn't have.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
She just walks in like limps in. That's good. I
like it. With the fake arm anything, the scary child,
I'm all about well said. I've got one from a
listener here as well, from Danny L. I've caught my
son swearing sneakily, a softly whispered fuck here and chat
there like that. I've generally told him that Santa has
(43:59):
a list in keeps telling you of how many times
kids swear. His face was very worried. I like, I
was like, whispering it. Yeah, he could just be walking
around down fuck this fuck bad like my kids. But
that's my fault.
Speaker 5 (44:14):
Ship.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah, would you say nothing. I was on the phone
to someone in my car. Also, the best place to
take a phone calls in your car. I just can't
say it. And the guy that was on the other
line was very potty mouthed, very bad and my kid
is so used to that now that we got out
of the car and I was like, oh, gee, said
(44:35):
a lot of naughty words, and he guess, oh I
didn't hear it, doesn't even hear it anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
So good, that's good, excess, that's great, because.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Now I'm just like fuck this and funk that around
now he's so desensitized, so desensitive and honestly, like I've
always said, I will never change who I am and
how I speaker, and like they understand that they're aughty
words instead.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Of white noise. You just it's like ship ship ship sh.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Fuck and it's like, oh, like even this morning, I
was like, no, like I just add the word fucking
the sentences as you do it, because it's just like
such a habit and that's just who I am. He
doesn't even take any notice anymore. It's perfect. It's worked
a treat. Macy, on the other hand, that's another week
I'm and she's like, questions I got Okay, I've got
(45:23):
a question. It's not a list of questions, but hopefully
we'll help the listeners. You never know, let me set
the scene please. I'm at the park with Macy's, Macey
and I. It's a week day. I have her on Thursdays.
Macy's my nearly four year old. Two more weeks before
and immunizations. April wrote that down.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
The fucking do the name registry thing for Poppy.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
She's still no named got eight weeks, so we're still
stuck with Poppy. Good because I don't want to do that,
just to look at the paperwork and I'm like, I
don't give shit about her name. I just don't want
to do that. Jim last, No, you're safe if thank god.
So I'm in the park with Macy's. It's a pretty
quiet day because other kids are a kin do you whatever,
bah blah. Anyway, it's a park with a fence around it.
(46:03):
Safe first, cool to be cautious. So I'm pushing MACI
on the swing and the gate is right there and
this car backs up to the grass and the kid,
the toddler, gets out of the car, runs across the
grass to the gate and I'm there, the mum's getting
things out of the car. There's you know, it's a
safe spot, safe place the kids right there, and I'm
(46:24):
looking at this kid who's looking at me thinking open
the fucking gate, come on, and I'm like it yeah, yeah.
And my question is.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
To the listener, if they didn't kids look at us
like we're just servants.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Most kids do. Yeah. So my question to the listener
is do I open the gate or do I ignore
the child and wait for the parent to come over
and open the gate and let them in. The reason
why I asked this is because I felt bad, because
I'm quite chivalry is not dead with me. I'll open the.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Gate, very caring, giving person.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
But at the same time, I'm like, what if I
open the gate and that parent comes over and like, hey,
you've just let my kid in. It's not your kid,
it's not your Yeah. Now he's dead and you.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Know, now what do I do?
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (47:10):
So my question is do you open the gate at playgrounds?
Are the children of the children that you don't know
that you don't.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
I think if it's coming inside into the enclosure, it's
totally fine.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah, I don't think it is.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Also depends how much think no far out. It's just
easy just to ignore other children, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Yeah, But then I don't want the parent to come
over and be like if say what you can't.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
The parent coming inside has got full hands full of
different and sometimes those pop locked doors to get into
the play, they're hard to open. I think if you're
opening it for the parents, I think, what you definitely
don't want to do? We can we can all agree
that you don't. Because sometimes when leaving daycare and a parent,
(48:05):
you know, I'll go to the sign out in the
iPad and then Marley said, Marley's cool. If Lowelan runs
to the gate leaving and a parent goes.
Speaker 1 (48:13):
Here, you go, oh, yeah, it's gone. Yeah. Yeah. If
the kid's trying to get out, then no, that's a
definite no note. Yeah. But then again I.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Reckon, But what would how would? The most important consideration
here is how's makes he going to react? Because if
I'm pushing Lola on the swing and I back off
for two pushes, She's like.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa what the pain force?
I pushed me?
Speaker 2 (48:40):
A piece of shit?
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Like push yourself.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
And so if I walk away, if I leave her,
if I desert Lola on the swing to then care
for another child, she's gonna lose it.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Yeah. But also I don't want a parent being like, what,
you're too good to opening game for us?
Speaker 2 (48:53):
I don't think, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
You're looking busy.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
If you're If you're on your phone and you look
up at the gate and you see it a child
there in need, and you go back to the phone,
you're once you're on the swing and you're pushing. That
removes you from any type of responsibility to help anybody out.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
But what if they stopped, they parked there, and their
intention was to not go to the park, but the
kids ran to the park. There are so many levels
imagine that. Thanks man, Yeah, we're actually we're already late.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
We're going we're going to a fucking birthday party down
the road, and you've just ruined the whole day.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Your piece of ship, exactly right. There's so many differences, man,
just safe, just pretended in zem If you don't know.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
The child or the parent, I just I just I mean,
even if I know the parent, I kind.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Of yeah, I probably could have been like, hey, is
it okay if they come in, But but then you're
like you're trying to hit on me?
Speaker 2 (49:46):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Yeah? Then there's so many I'm married, right, never stopped
a man before they think of the outcomes here, Because
but what if I did say that and she's like,
you were such a polite man and I and then
all of a sudden, I've got a new best friend.
There's so many different I just don't know what to do.
So what I did do is I was like, all right,
(50:10):
the kids right here, Okay, the mum's getting her stuff out.
I just poked my tongue out at him. And then
I went back to pushing Macie.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
That's weird, that's so I blew him my kiss.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
I was like, what do you moved on with my
Lafe just thought it was funny. I entertained that kid as.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Well, that's a weird. Please, if you're out there, don't
be poking your tongue out at random kids that you
don't know you're.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
Going to come across. Pull the face and him. Why
just not a misgender the child? Oh my god, there's
so many elements to this question.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Anyway, it's a minefield out there.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
It's a minefield. I think you're right with saying we
can all agree to not let them out. That sounded bad.
I think that sounded that sounded more captive, just.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Focus on the swing. When you're pushing your kid on
the swing, focus on the one and you.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Can't see them. Just pretend you're blind, Oh god.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Were walking? Stick with you the cane and then you
start tapping smart.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
I'm going to do that from now on. If you've
enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review five stars?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Can I just I need to say something?
Speaker 1 (51:19):
You need to the reviews.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
The reviews are outstanding.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
Okay, I don't know if it's I don't know, I
it's people just pumping our tires up. Maybe they're like, oh,
the boys will love this, so you.
Speaker 1 (51:30):
Know, yeah, we do. We love it, we love it.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
But I'm also like, if it's so good, why A
you're not sharing it with people, Why you're not giving
it to Why you're not like assume why the number?
I'm looking at the numbers and like, if everyone's loving
what we're audishing out, surely surely you recommend it to
a friend, family, another parent. Is this a pyramid skin
(51:52):
It's yeah. All we need to do is recommend three people.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Down those three people can recommend three people and then
and then the doting dad pyramids.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
Once you recommend them, get them to pay a subscription
fee of fifty dollars.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
I don't who's getting that money. I don't see the sand.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
I would love it. I just like it. If you
really do, if you mean what you say in the review,
if you're being honest there and you're saying this makes
you laugh and it improves your day.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
If we get a review saying so and so sent
me here to listen to you guys, and here's my review. Yeah,
wamm that's what I need.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
That's what I need from you guys.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
That's okay. Otherwise, you can find us on socials at two.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Doting Dads, on TikTok Instagram. There is a Facebook group
as well, Two Doting Dads almost four thousand Minnit's hopping off,
going off, and YouTube, TV and YouTube. This is also
available in long form video.
Speaker 1 (52:45):
If you want to watch us bumble our way through this,
then you can do that. Goodbye, and that's it.
Speaker 4 (52:51):
Fact.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Now, one last message before we go. We have to
make a special announcement because today is a sad day.
Here are two Doting Dads. We are bidding farewell to
the one and only Jessica Smalley.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Yeah, so, jess has been with us for a little
while now come two years almost two years, and she
has steered this ship. She has whipped us into shape,
and today is her well, this week is her last
week actually, and we appreciate that everything Jess has done
for us.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
It's not been an easy task coming in here and
trying to manage two dads who have been juggling multiple
projects children in addition to this podcast. So it has
not been a job that has been smooth sailing what
are sailing analogies? But Jess has grabbed yancha.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Very good. She has pulled the ropes.
Speaker 2 (54:05):
I don't know anything else. I don't stop it, but
it's Look, it's not easy. It's not easy, and she's
been consistent from start to finish and wanting nothing but
the best for this podcast, growing us, making our social
media as good as it can be, launching YouTube. There's
been so much that has benefited this podcast and a
(54:29):
little baby, which is two doting dads, and for that
we are so thankful for her time, her effort, and
her energy. So Jess, we really appreciate it. And she's
looking right now at a laptop because we're gushing over her.
And it's always awkward when you get the compliments when
you're in the same.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
Room, absolutely, but we also wish just the best I'm
sure listens as well with whatever is next, whatever comes
next for her, and we'll be championing her, will be
cheering for her for sure. And don't be shy and
feel free to touch base with us whenever you like
as yours, because we.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
Love the Seven Seas, Jess, and what we would love
to do is jump back in a yacht together and
keep sailing. In fact, if you continues for no reason,
thank you, Jess. And I know that I speak on
behalf of the listeners who have also appreciated your time
and effort across socials because you have been a consistent
(55:23):
voice to those individuals.
Speaker 1 (55:26):
Especially when I'm not responding, someone's responding, thank.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
You, Thank you, Jess. We appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
Yeah, that's a train as she sails off, Thank you, Jess.
Speaker 4 (55:46):
Two.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight onto
people's today. This episode was recorded on gadigal Land.
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