November 11, 2025 • 56 mins
We're into another chaotic week with the kids but this time it's Buster who's in the naughty corner.
Ash shares why his daughter's hunger has no bounds, even when it comes to saving the seals and Matt reveals how he became the innocent victim of a water gun attack.
The boys learn what the actual meaning of 'Baby on Board' means, plus a listener has shared what could be the greatest dinner-time hack of all time (and could save your sanity at the dinner table).
Aaaaand the countdown to Christmas is well and truly on with the boys debating whether it's too early to be putting the tree up - if at all!
The silly season is officially here and we're leaning into it - so strap yourselves in, it's going to be a wild ride.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Can you smell that?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Can you smell anything?
Speaker 1 (00:03):
God? No?
Speaker 3 (00:04):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Okay, we had an incident this morning, an incident.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Someone shout themselves. Who do you think?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the club?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Not you, not me? What's your other guests?
Speaker 4 (00:15):
It's got to be Laura.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Welcome back to Two Dating Dads. I'm Maddie Jay and
this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad and the relatable.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And one thing we will never do is give advice.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Correct, was not Laura?
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Laura?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Didn't she herself?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, good, I'm glad. Any other guesses? Nana? She?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Nana has been shooting herself quite a lot. That's out
of gastri out of hospital. But was not Nana. Who's
your other guests?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I'm running out of people here one of the girls? Nope,
Buster there he is. Hey here. A dog can't shit
themselves because they're not wearing pants or anything. They just shit.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
That is technically correct.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Okay, So he shat unexpectedly?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
There were Yeah, pretty much?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah? Why what set him off? Mane?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I don't know. He's getting old and he's very very good,
like he will hold it in until his morning walk.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Right?
Speaker 6 (01:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Does a pool every morning.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Did poo?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, clockwork, light, clockwork?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Right? Has he got a spot?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Got a Spot's a little patch of lawn outside this
guy's house. It's like new turf. Had the house renovated?
A Buster is like that's my spot totally. And then
this morning feeding the kids breakfast, and Nana was.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Like, oh, where was.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
It over there? And I look over and buses just
squatting on the fucking carpet.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Why do they choose the carpet?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So I like pushed him onto the floorboards and he
was like, oh, got three legs. And then as he
was like taking little steps, just bits of poo were
fucking coming. And then I got a little bit angry
at Nana because I was like, well, I'll pick up
the fucking bits of poop. And Nana was like stop
and I was like what for, and I'd like I'd
already begun. It was like, you know, little nuggets.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
He's a big dog.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
He's a big dog, very stinky boy. And I was like,
I'm going to pick up the pooh? What what do
you mean? Just trying to cut swearing out, Do I
swear it now? No guilty? And then she goes, don't
pick it? Up because then you don't know where the
poo is to.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Clean it up. That's a good point, very good point.
And I was like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
And then I looked down and I was like.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Oh god, yeah, I always leave like a little smear
so I can come back to it. Like my dog
last night, ship ship in the house? What storm? She does?
Like a storm? She vibrates when the storms come on.
She's so anxious.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, like Buster does as well.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I like, I think I did a video a while
ago where I was it's going to turn my dog
on to vibrate. So where did she ship? In the kitchen?
But after I'd just taken her out for a ship?
That's that's rude, fucking annoying. But yeah, just a little smear.
Come back with the anti bacterial wife and being a
shot a job.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
A Buster Like since then, he's been like so guilty,
I'm so sorry. I know, and I'm like, it's fine,
we'll get over a Buster. And Laura is like, can
you just tell him that it's going to be okay?
And I was like, he doesn't know, Yeah, he doesn't know.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
He probably probably think if you're like it's going to
be okay, you probably think, why are you still angry
with me?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah, God, he's getting he's getting old. Thirteen years thirteen
and your housekeeping ash.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
My favorite new favorite segment, What do you got?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It's fucking dirty? Sorry, yeah, crumbs everywhere? I do you
want to say, it's the only time his table is
a clean when we fucking did this.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Podcast, Because when you start to talk about something you like,
so let me tell you that something crumbs everywhere?
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Shit.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Quick update?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Did my movie?
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh? Yes, yes, yes, how did you go? You had
two lines?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
A couple of little mistakes that I made.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
In those two lines.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Well, look, look I got a few details wrong. I
didn't let anyone know on set that I had got
the details wrong. But I thought it was good. I
thought I was doing a comedy. I thought it was
a comedy film.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, what are the lines that you did? You delivered? Well,
it's called The Killings, okay.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And then I was getting get ready, getting dressed, and
they're like you excited about doing this? And I was like, yeah,
you know, it's gonna be a lot of fun. And
they're like, yeah, I gave it a bit of fun.
And I was like, how's it been? And yeah, it's
been pretty full on and I was like, oh, why
what's happened? There's like so much death. Everyone dies gruesome
deaths in this film.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Do you die?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Sadly, I don't. I know, I know, very annoyed. But
it's a hectic horror like it's on par with as
gruesome as like a sore type.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Movie Australian made, Australian made.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah. I thought it was set in the eighties, which
is why I had the mustache.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, and you're a cop. That's what I wanted to be, like,
a is this what I asked you to clean shave?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You're like nope, yeah, And I was like, no, it's eighties,
it's not eighties current day.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Oh my god, you've been misinformed.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Very misinformed. And then it's not like you. I didn't
have a character name. I was just desk Cop. That
was my name. And because it's the main characters are cops,
I learned the wrong scene. There's a different desk cop.
And so we did a rehearsal and they're like scene
thirty four and I was like, that's me. And then
(05:28):
people were saying their lines and I was like, the fuck,
what are we?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
What are we learning here. And then they were like,
and I.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Don't know if you've been on a film set ash
there's a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of people,
a lot of cameras. Yeah, pressure, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And then they're like, the director's like, it's your line, Matt,
and I was like, they're like flicking through the screen
and the main character and nains Heather Mitchell. She's very
experienced in the film industry in Australia. It's a big deal.
She was like, it's okay, sweetie.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
How old is she? She's a child.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
Actually sixty six, okay, so it's been around the trap
at least at least she's much older and she can
go like it kind of plays it off.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So it was a little bit stressful, but we got
it done.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Okay, what were you lines? The line is one line?
You've been cut down one line. And then I was
in the bullpin.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I think it's cool, yeah cool, Yeah, someone's been arrested
a few times.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Don't you need to tell everyone that? But yep, I
always meant.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
To be in the bullpin. But then they were like, oh,
actually it makes sense if he's gone, and.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
It makes sense if you just got back in his
car and drove home.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Also, I was like, there was a couple of extras
and I was kind of with them, Oh.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
You've been pushed into the extrasile.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
And there was even another guy and he was trying
to get in on. He was on the whiteboard in
the back of the scene and there it was ruthless.
He was doing one scene and they were.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Like, whiteboard boy, get out. Ah, you're too confusing. You're
distracting the scene. It was cutthroat in there, dude. So
my line was set the scene for me.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
There's an old detective who has come in. She's retired,
but she was a cop.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Can I be that old detective? Yeah, I'll deliver that line.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Actually, you'll be the inspector. You'll be the inspector who's
a current detective. And this old detective has made like
I've met her at reception and she's like, I need
to go and speak to the detective. And I'm like, okay, well,
like I'll bring you in the detective.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Who's you.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
You're trying to solve a case, you're very stressed, and
you'll do that and you turn around and you go,
who's this.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
That's it? Yeah? Okay, So I'm gonna give you a
little actors tip here to look stressed, just look annoyed. Yeah,
same thing. Who is it? Sorry, inspector.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
This woman insisted on speaking with you.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Very good end scene. Wow, very good. That's good. But
I was.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I went to the director and I was like, am
I a bit nervous when I am? I am I
afraid of being in trouble? Like, what's the how am I?
What's my emotion behind the line? And he was like,
it's a fucking line, bro.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Work it out. I thought it was a comedy. Come down,
It's gonna be a great film. I can't wait. He
and he just realized full of dark film when you're
just like, what the full Jerry Seignfeld. But it was.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
It was fun to be on set. Yeah, it takes
a long time to film one line. Six hours, six hours.
I didn't it was a lot of talking was done
by the other characters.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, okay, so we just got to see it. I
was just that food jack bite. It's like a pork
stir fry.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
They had that, just like Jamaican fish cinnamon scrolls. Bam
to the catering team, I was like, Bravo, Chef's kiss yeah,
like this is I guess what Coddy's cordial and.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Not for him. You have to have a minimum of
two lines. I was.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I was like, I was like, this is gonna have
some more and than like of course, you know when
you eat something for so long, it tastes.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
A bit of ship. Yeah, Whereas I so.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I think the other actors were like, oh, fucking pork
stuff again, where I.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Was like, did they have a like what do they
call those rooms or it's just like snacks? Yes, oh
that's such an American thing.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
They had chippies and was so good. It's great, very good, great,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I can't wait to not see it. I just want
to watch your line because I don't do horror. I
don't know if you noticed, but I'm a big old
skarty cat.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, I'm not going to watch it, watch it.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I will watch it. Watch I love those parodies of
people being like what they should have done that? And
they're like we should just stay one more night. They're like,
why would we do that? Let's go home? Right? Anyway,
onwards with Housekeeping, my favorite segment, Matt, there's more breaking news,
breaking news, what have you got?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
People will start listening to us.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
For their news updates.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Yeah, we could do a separate news podcast.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
That's another story. It's just social media news. Sorry. Yeah,
breaking news. A mother over in Florida, in America has
given birth to a record breaking baby. How much does
that baby weigh? Do you reckon what's normal? I have
no idea? Nine inches, I have no idea. Someone said
(10:30):
to my friend had a baby the other day and
he was like, yeah, it was X, this and this
many pounds. I was like, what does any of that mean?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I don't I don't take note of the details. I
think back in the day, they're like, how many pounds?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
What is she?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Whereas I think Poppy was. I think she was three
and a half. You could be wrong, or you could
be she was three and a half.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
People are like how much did she weigh?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
And I'm like I don't know, And they're like what
and I don't know how much you weighed?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
They're like, wrong with you? Imagine if we spoke about
adults like that. It's like I was just with Map,
how much does he work? Give me his dimensions? Immediately,
I want to know how long he was, how big
was his head? Yeah? Okay, so I think three and
a half was poppy. I want to say KOs or pounds.
(11:18):
That was killers three and a half kilos. That's not right.
I've taken shits bigger than man.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I don't doubt that at all. I want to say
his baby was double that. I'll say seven.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Forty year old mum Danielle. Shout out to Danielle for
pushing this bad boy. Yeut had a c section. I
take that back to pull out the baby. A nun
who a record? How much six point three killers? You're closed?
That's six again? I don't know that is that big?
(11:56):
It must be big record break. The Guinness World Record
reports that the heavy baby born to a healthy mother.
Just add that in there was a boy way ten
point two kilo who was born in Italy nineteen fifty five.
It's a lot of pasta. That is a lot of
That is a lot of pasta.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Wow, six three that's good. You've got to be happy
with that if you're the mum, right like, that's a
badge of honor.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Six points you push yet well again, didn't push it out,
but still hey hey hey, still carrying that around? Carrying
that around?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That's like a bowling ball. Imagine a bowling ball, ye
imagine that weighing. You're down fucking.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
At what point during that pregnancy they were like, this
is going to get heavy.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, When do they start to say, hey, we want
to manage your expectations here, this thing is going to
fuck this way. It's going to weigh you down.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It's going to be a fucking giant baby. That is big.
I think anywhere over five kilos is a decent a
decent effort.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I love how we have no idea about now. We're like,
you know, anything over five kilos and you know you're
on doing about singer.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It's huge. Just for context, I want to just give
you some items that do weigh the same for the
listener as well. That is six around six kilos. Vacuum
cleaner imagine car, imagine carrying around a vacuum cleaner, Henry
or probably one of those old what do they call them,
morm hoover, A hoover, that's a hoover. Six pineapples, spiky,
(13:29):
a mini fridge off mini fridge to find mini fridge.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
How many are we talking?
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Six kilos? Minn I don't get heye is it?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Daniella Daniel what a woman?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Three MacBook pros and the last one a bowling ball. Yeah,
that is big anyway, congratulations.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
You wouldn't want to push that out, would you? You know,
medically you'd recommend.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I wonder if because the other the other one was
ten point two kilos in nineteen fifty five, I think
that wouldn't have been a C section.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
They when was the sea section invented?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Now be late the day after?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
What?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
What first documented sea section wasn't there? Fifteen hundred's? What?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah? Do they have ebie girrels? It was done by
Julius Caesar. That's how they got the Caesar salad? Are
they named the Caesars? Very good? Wow, I've got a
hack for you. Oh I like that. I like the sound.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Just quickly be like last little note in housekeeping. We
have had this sent through by Shari, and she's got
a hack. We love a hack. What do we love
more than any type of hack?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Food?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Dinner?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Kid? Oh god, I feel like a food salesman in
my own house. How do I You're gonna love this dish?
Go go on give it to me.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I think this is very good.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Hey, hey, I hope you don't mind a voice message.
It's much quicker than typing, so our dinner time hack
with three little boys is three different sizes of dessert.
Anywhere Ever finishes first gets to choose, and then the
next person gets to choose, and then the next person
gets stuck with the smallest obviously. So yeah, we're not
sitting around at the table for an hour, none of that.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Oh my god, that's geese. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, okay, My only issue with this, And I'd love
to speak to Sari if you're listening, answer this question. Please,
do you have a meltdown? Because Lola is a slow, slow,
slow eater.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, Marley is a fast eater. Is there a handicap?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Is there a handicap? Like do you start one child first?
So it's more of an even race, because I would
worry that Lola will when she figures out that she's
like halfway through and she looks the meal, she looks
at her plate, looks at Marley's plate, she goes, fuck,
I'm not going to win this one. Marley's got She's
like flying to separate them. Yeah, okay, but don't you
(15:59):
but you're also want them to be like feeding off
each other, no pun intended.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Sure, Yeah, that's a good count.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Do your kids when they know they're gonna lose, do
they either forfeit the race or do they have a meltdown?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, because I just go with that. If you finish,
you get your you get one of these old school
old Macy's like still thinks she's getting it when she
doesn't eat, so she she'll melt down every night.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Last night and she's got half a bowl left, and
you're like, just one more mouthful. I know, I gave
just lick the past that and I'll give you a treat.
Just walking it for three seconds and it's yours it,
it's yours.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah, exactly right. And like last night I was like,
you're gonna eat this chicken, She's like no, I'm like,
give it to the dog. And then gave it to
the dog. She's finished the cucumber, the lord and savior
of every meal, and she goes, can I have a treat?
I was like, what do you think? She was like,
I ate it all. I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
The fucking dog eating a drumstick right literally, look down there,
(16:57):
let's see the dog bowl. The dog's eating it right now.
You ate the cucumber, you're.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Not getting And she's like, what are you talking about
She's yeah, I know, but the cucumber I know.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And then if I try and introduce something new, I'm
like a fucking cast salesman again, do.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
You what I sometimes say, this is my little hack. Okay, okay,
I'm so full.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
You'll die if you don't eat. I'm so full.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I cannot eat another mouthful. I couldn't possibly. So if
you can't eat another mouthful, what hope in the hell
do you have of eating any dessert? If you're that
full that you can't eat any more, then I don't
want to put you through the ordeal of trying to
eat dessert.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Fair. That is fair, and the kids are like, fuck,
it's got me. But then it's also a bit.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Confusing where I'm like, so you eat more and then
you get dessert and that what.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Yeah, anyway, it's very it's a mind field. But that's
pretty good. I think turning anything into a competition is
usually work, especially when you got She says she had
had three boys.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Three boys, three boys.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
There you go all that much, that's going to be
you're really setting Actually, if I'm gonna get real deep here,
you're really setting up for a very competitive household down
the track, yes, which I don't know. They might be
into that anyway, that's the end of housekeeping. I don't know.
If you saw the other day on my socials, I
put a little picture of Oscar in his jiu jitsu
(18:15):
outfit because we had grading.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
What is just really quickly, what is grading? I'm not
We don't do contact sport. We are ballet dancers my end,
So what's jiujitsu grading? What is that?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
So they get together on a day called the grading day,
which is they do it in like age groups, right,
so there's like four tal once a year every term.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
I'm not sure yet, I apologize, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Sure yet, which I'll find out, but essentially what happens
is there's four till seven in age grade groups, then
there's like eight till thirteen, and then it goes from
thirteen into whatever. So we did the Obviously Oscar's six,
so he falls from four to seven. So the four
to seven and then there's the slightly older kids do
it at the same time. So what they do it's
(19:00):
kind of because when you go you don't it's a
drop and go situation. You're not allowed to stop.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
And watch normally or on grading day, not on a
normal lesson.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
So Oscar goes upstairs to the class. I don't see
anything he does. The first time he goes, I get
to watch. But then the other time, why do they
do that?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Do you think?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Gets? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
One?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
And then maybe people have a little bit like of
a like I don't want to but yeah, I don't
want you watching my kid. You know that sort of
thing should be because I don't know, I don't know
the nuts and bolts of it. But anyway, so it
was an opportunity for them to they do. They all
get there at a certain time. They do like the
warm up they would do as a big groups, and
(19:42):
you get to watch and see the sort of things.
Is he an outfit? Was he wearing free clothes? Now
it's full full kid, full kid?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
What's the kid cost?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
It's a few hundred what Yeah, for the kid.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It's like a ninety. It's a robe, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
No? No, it's a kimono.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
So it's rude of me, yes, very rood of you.
It's like special pants. They've got like a special shirt
with the jacket and the belt that goes around. When
you say special, it's like special too. Martial arts. Like
it's not like you just walking with your leather jacket
and be like, oh it's.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Special at that's a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
It is a lot of money. But I'll tell you
one's making a lot of money here because I don't
get to watch him. I don't really get to see
what he's up to. Can I just say, different kid?
Completely different kid. It is unbelievable the amount of self control.
He sat there for an hour and a half, still
(20:40):
sat still for an hour and a half. Is my
kid breathing? Yeah? I was like, what the hell I've
lost Oscar. I can't find him. And I was talking
to the head teacher yesterday and he was like, he
was like, people don't understand. People just think it's a
martial arts a contact sport, right, which it is, and
there's a lot of technique and all this stuff that
goes into it. But he was like, people to understand
(21:01):
how good it is for your kid.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
The discipline, the discipline, I believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I was like what. And then they called him up.
They were calling everyone up. And that's the thing, right
when it comes to award shows or remember award assemblies
at school. And it was like, get on with it.
If I'm not getting anything, I don't fucking care, right,
And you're like, especially a six year old sitting still
for an hour and a half is n'nheard of?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Oh yeah, you one by one fucking the kids out
your own time out.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
The kids that weren't that were like not quite as focused,
And I was like, the heck's going on here? And
then they call they call you out and like, the
thing is you got you get stripes before your belt
goes up in color, So you get X amount of stripes.
Don't ask me. I don't know how many?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I was going to ask me, I just can tell.
And I was at ape. I'm like, don't ask yeah,
I know. I'll be like, before I tell you this,
I'm going to tell you all the information that I have.
Just so we're clear, you don't ask me the question.
Dig yeah, no more digging. I don't know. Put the
shovel down. At the time I finished this sentence, you'll
know as much as me. That's fair, right, Sorry, Okay,
(22:12):
so when I finished this, you'll live as cludeing as
I am. Anyway, So then they go they give you
the stripes, and then so they start with this the
lower gradings before they go into like the kids are
like the black belt, Well they're not quite there. It's
sort of like there's a lot of colors. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
And then they sort of were rattling off, who's up,
(22:34):
Who's up, and then they called Oscar. Kid just got up,
walked over, shook all their hands, got his thing turned around,
posed for a photo, went back and sat down. No, like, no,
little ninja. Yeah, none of this. Shake his hand, come on,
shake his hand, smile for the folk. None of that
(22:54):
ship that I'm doing it any other situations.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I think they've just been like teaching the kids that
process the whole year.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Don't watch the classes. Well he did all the warm
up and stuff and actually fight. Yeah, and there was
doing the thing and I was like yeah, so I
was just and then I was yeah. I was talking
to the teacher yesterday and he was like, it's.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Here's a star pupil, and You're like, my Oscar.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
He was like, it's it's crazy that like it's the
misconception around the martial arts with kids. It's like, oh
my kid fighting the discipline is unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
It sounds like you're in a cult, the misconception. All
you have to do is pay a one off fee
and then every month the.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Heads are shaved. Weird, No, but yeah, anyway, So shout
out to the Checko jiu Jitsu for straightening the boy
out because I can't believe. And he's like frothing. Yes.
I took him back for his normal class and he
into it comes down beating up kids upstairs, bloody loves it.
Are you going to go next year? Resign?
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
He'll continue. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Marley's like, I never want to dance again, and I've
just it's funny, bit dramatic. I just spent like a
hundred bucks on your like concert outfit. Tomorrow, I've got
to take it to rehearsal. Then the Saturday morning is
the concert and she's.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Like, I hate dance.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I'm like, people are like, don't force your kids into
things that don't like.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
She was obsessed. Yeah wow, yeah, like there's something that's happened.
You need to get to the nuts.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
And is it the ballet? I don't know. Do I
put her into an interpretive jazz hip hop?
Speaker 1 (24:28):
My martial arts?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I was you know what I was playing with them yesterday?
I was doing scrum like touch and paws engaged.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
They love that. Yeah, Rugby, I was thinking that. I
was like, yeah, because I watched Oscar. So Oscar goes
with Lenny, which is a little mate, And when we
were away the other weekend, Oscar and Lenny were playing
foot in the backyard, just one v one, classic kid stuff,
and you could tell it was getting heated. And I
was like, well, heck, this is how we settle this
(24:56):
a fight. But I was like, not got quite blatantly
like that. You're like, don't worry, I've got this. I've
got this. Who's a knife billy. At first, I was like,
do you guys need to fight this out? And Oscar
was like yeah, because.
Speaker 9 (25:14):
It's just he's got his double stripe. He's likefore that.
Lenny's in the same class. So I was like, why
don't we jiu jitsu this out? Literally, Oscar leg swoops Lenny.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Right, she can't do that out, So you're meant to
be teaching him disciplined. Otherwise it's harmless. He'll start leg
sweeping kids in the playground timeless. I said to him,
you don't do this unless you're in the correct control environment.
You kids need to fight this out. That's pretty much
what I said. Yeah. Anyway, he leg sweeped and Lenny's big.
He is a bigger kid because of the weight. He
(25:47):
changed the weight distribution, flipped and landed on top of Lenny,
on top of him, and I was like, wow, now
I'm scared in my own home. I'm like, I got
these little ninja kids running around my house. Asks for
is calling, which is great. Well, the teachers like he's
built for this. See okay me.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Now, I don't know if it's a dad thing, but
anything my kids do that somehow closy relates to a sport.
Like if they climb a tree, I'm like, oh, gymnast,
I'm that rock climber. I'm trying to like look at
anything they do, the way they behave, the way they move,
and I'm just cross referencing it against sport to try
(26:26):
and like she jumps in the pool and I'm like,
Olympic diver.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah straight up, Well you're gone to the Olympics twenty fifty.
You're going to be there. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I was like having a little wrestled with Lola, and
I was like, she couln't be wrestling.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, rugby is that Lola co being rugby.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Do you think she could? Yeah, it's my job. It's
my duty to find out what my kid's passion is.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
What it's sport, and that's fine, is it? That's that's absolutely.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Okay, whether it's arts and crafts, extreme arts.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh, anyway, that's what I'm dealing with.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Ash. Yeah, I've had like some weird experiences lately in
the park parks.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
You really shouldn't be there in the middle of the
night with for starters. I know what they're about. That
makes it, Laura, I'm going for a walk looking at it,
looking for the pregnant women with their feet out come on,
bring that belly over here. As a classic line from you.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
People don't understand people who may be joining us for
the first time.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Matt's got a pregnancy kink. No solved any confusion.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
You're the one who had the information about feet rubs
increasing love by twenty.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Three percent Instagram. Were you just feeding me information that
you think I want to hear? Yeah, well, the algorithm
is already picking up on what we're talking about and
use it. Bring that belly and feet over here.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
No, I've had two things that have been weird. Okay,
one was was at the park of the day and
it was a Sunday, quite busy in the park, and
I stay outside. So a few kids out there playing
really said the name for me like this, And there
was a section where there was a sand pit. I
want to say, there's about six kids scattered throughout this area.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
And the worst things are terrible, terrible.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
And down at Bondeo Beach there's always a few birds around.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Can't trobably keep going? Can I just run a really
quick idea by you? Absolutely panetic sandpit? Write down? Mean
you know the kinetic sand, the scientific sand that all
sticks together and it forms the shape. Make that into
a sand pit. That way doesn't come home with you,
stays with its sand. Fellow friends.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I don't think I've ever been in contact with a
kinetic sandpit.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, there isn't one. I mean, this is an idea
I've got. Very good, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
We should start and in Bondi we only have kinetic sad.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Were going out for a seafood and and some kinetic sandplay.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
What do you call this?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
That's knetic sand? What do you have on the all
the beaches white sand?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Very good kid, I want to say. She was about
six years old. She was like, you know, looking at
the pigeons, a couple of pigeons about because you know,
kids have snacks, the corn thins.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
It's like a feeding frenzy.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It's a buffet for birds. And next thing I look
down and she's caught a pigeon.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Child.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
She's holding the pigeon and the pigeon has gone nuts.
A pigeon it's like flapping about. Oh my god, this
sheick is just like as calm as can be, just
like holding it. And then eventually the bird flies away
and she's holding like a.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Tuft of feathers.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
She washed her hands, and then the mother got up
and I was like, okay, how is the mother going
to react here? And the mother was like telling her
what she did wrong? How to catch another one?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Was it Terry Owen? What the fuck was?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
What's weird? Isn't it strange?
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Okay? I was like, did she stalk the p pryor no?
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Why?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
I think she didn't even have any bait. The pigeons
were just so comfortable around the presence of kids because
I think after a while they'd been eating and that
they were like nothing here is non threatening.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Have you ever caught a bird. No, it's fucking hard.
Do you know why?
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Because they fly this kid and the mother was like,
this is a sport, and all the parents.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
In the park were looking around like.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
What the fuck?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I know, I wonder what sport? Her dad's trying to
push it.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
To its Yeah, right, I was like, what is going on?
But no beach, of all places, not amongst the kinetic sand.
And then the second thing that happened to me a
few days later at the park, the one down downhill
down the road. So it's where it's like a few
roads meet up, but then there's a park in the middle.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
How do you think that park came about? I wonder that.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, because there's all these roads that leads it's like
a five way intersection that's town plan was like, you
know what, just put a park there round about?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
No stupid, so random.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
So I'm riding through on the electric bike, and what
I'm very aware of is I'm going through a footpath.
I don't want to be. I don't want to be
one of those people that goes too fast. There's young kids.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
And also are you allowed to ride your bike on footprint?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
I'm not sure, probably not, but they just should. I dismount.
Maybe nah, but I just go. I'm going like under
ten k's very slowly. I'm going through, very considerate to
the other people. So I enter the park on the footpath,
going very slowly. Ahead of me, about fifteen meters is
a young child and he's holding a water pistol. I'm
(31:41):
not sure if you've seen the semi automatic water pistols.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Are they the ones that tektokkis trying to push to me?
It was like, shut up, I thought that was I
thought it was Ai, dude, so buy one.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
They're great. So he's shooting kids. Right as I'm approaching,
he looks up like a ding ding. He looks up,
locks eyes with me, and he goes and for those wondering,
I'm using finger gun finger guns pointed directly at ash
And I was like, surely this little kid's not gonna
(32:14):
shoot me, little ship.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Do you know what he needs? Jiu jitsu? That's what
fucking kids needs. I was getting spright. How old was
this I want to say he was about five and
he knew what he was doing.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
I knew he was doing. And then there was beyond
him was a dad and I was kind of looking
at the dad as I'm getting shot, and then as
I go past the kid, the dad goes not my kid.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I just don't take.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I was like, probably was his child.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
He was gonna be like shooting sun. But also like
they have like the promotion of guns in at like
at there's no guns in my house, no guns, no
other than you, other than the fly gun, the NERF gun.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
We did have a NERF gun face, but the semi
automatic water pistol. No, no, no, no, someone could drown,
had cycled beyond away from the park, Being like like
what should I have Should.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
I have hoped?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I laughed it off, but I was like, yeah, it
was dread.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
That's fair enough. That's rogue children. What's wrong with them?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
What is wrong with them?
Speaker 1 (33:33):
What is absolutely wrong with these kids? Speaking of water,
we went to the zoo the other day, okay, and
we all know one of the better shows is what
Louis the seal show?
Speaker 8 (33:49):
You had that in the chamber because we went to
the zoo that time up near the Central coast and
they had meet Louis at the zoo. Do you remember
I was a reptile parks different, it's a zoo ripped,
It's they wanted a point of difference O case, so
they put they.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Had you know, the reptiles wen enough for the kids,
so they had Bluey there.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
So I thought, big scary Bluey on stage. So a
very good show at Taronga Zoo is the Seal, This
Seal show and it's someone someone say it's iconic.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
May went when she went after school care for the holiday.
They took them, they took him and she loved the Seal.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
It's a great show, raving about it, brilliant. There's a
section of the Seal show though, which is about conservation
and what not to do. And it's sad music. What's
the song I'm thinking of? You know that I built
a home song?
Speaker 4 (34:37):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
I built it?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I built a home, bill a home.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
For you?
Speaker 1 (34:47):
This one?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (34:52):
That song? So it's quite a sad song. They want
you to pay a tea. They play that song. They
play a song and the Seal reenacts what would happen?
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Who was producing this seal shot at the zoo?
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Steven Spielberg. Steven Sielberg. If they don't have a seal
at Taronga Zoo named Stephen Sielberg, I am going to
protest anyway. They had that part of the show where
a seal sort of because they're very smart animals, Matthew,
(35:25):
they're also related to the dog what yeah, learning heaps.
Yeah right, Anyway, they're saying what can happen if you
litter in the ocean. It's quite a moving piece to
most except for Macy. What happened? She didn't quite understand
the context, so she was like, this is boring, yeah,
(35:53):
because everyone's quiet, but we're here a pin drop. We're
all in awe of the first of all of the
allent that this seal has and the directive, the directive
they've received from Steven Silberg, the music choice and the
message behind it. Great, She's meant to be like her
engaging learning moment heartfelt and Macy was like, can I
(36:16):
pick a song? Fucking Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
And she was like, this is the same Mazie that
while you were in Fiji of Tu looking at.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
A tribe eating oreos. Yeah, and there's these poor starving children.
But take that, mat not starving, they eat off the land. Different. Yeah,
asking for the wi Fi I've created monster you have.
So she's sitting on my lap anyway, she's so bored
with the whole thing. She's kicking the people in front
(36:46):
of her. Yeah. The notable note was like, yeah, literally,
get over that. I was like, Jesus Christ, what did
you do? Well, there's nothing I could do. We just
had to endure it because.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Then when you like, come on, you gotta be quiet, honey, tell.
Speaker 6 (37:02):
Me Yeah, kicks off and it gets to the end
where they talk about where you should shop for fish, right,
like what like what you should look out for when
chopping fish.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Which is like the emblem on the fish packet that's
so so from a renewable source. It's not from a
farm fish. Fucking babb bah bah.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I had no idea.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Now you do. It gets really quiet like that, and
then everyone's sort of like quiet thinking about the situation
and makes you just bites down on a rice cracker
and I was like, who go with the rice cracker?
(37:43):
S got it from Oscar anyway. She was just like
and then an upbeat music song came on. She was like, yeah,
no bag, now I'm back. Where are the mermaids? I
was like, for sake, anyway, that's my insensitive daughter. Can't
take her anywhere. You can't know Ash, It is time
for tell me loud, tell me Little Live. I'll go first.
(38:11):
I got one from Monica first, because I've got my
own that I saw that I've stumbled across that.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I thought, you've got a lie.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I'm not going to take credit for it, but I've
just noticed a credit away. Man.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
For those of you who are just joining us for
the first time, potentially new listeners are parenting lies. The
lies like a little white lies that we tell our
kids victimless to just make parenting a little bit easier,
because it is the hardest job in the world. Well said,
other than training seals, Steven Sielberg, how do you reckon sealed?
Trainers must be great parents.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Oh, they'd be outstanding, although I don't know if children
would like raw fish there he is might be confusing
Ashwicks everybody.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
This one is from Monica and she says her kids
are obsessed with the TV, aren't they all.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I'm still obsessed and I'm in my thirties.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
But when it comes time to turning it off, she
becomes the bad guy and a huge meltdown follows. This
is you just taking snapshot to my life. So she
has started to turn the TV's sleep timer on for
fifteen or thirty minutes and tells the kids that the
TV will turn off when it needs to rest, otherwise
it won't turn on next time. So now when the
(39:26):
TV turns itself off, the kids just accept it that
it's tired. They go about their day, no tantrums. I'm
no longer the bad guy, she says. And they worry
that if they watch it for too long, it'll get
too tired and stop working.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Genius when when I love that, I've got a similar
version to that, but it's with April because she falls
asleep in front of the TV in the bedroom. But
I've set the timer because what happens is she falls
asleep and she doesn't know how the TV turns off,
and I'm just like, oh, I know, I've got the tire.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
How long do you think she lasts in bed watching TV?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
How long did you like, good? Say thank you? Ages?
Oh the time is like forty five minutes or something,
and she's always asleep. She's our car winning there last
night I was like, she is, that's.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Very dad, askue of her love of mine.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
I'm still watching it. She complains that her pillows are
too comfy.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Good problem to have. What's your life?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
My life? So I stumbled across. I stumbled across because
we just had Halloween, which we know that kids get
lollies candy.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
This will come out.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Yeah, this is a week ago, but this is just
really quick. But I saw that everyone sort of like.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Just doing this. Sorry the reference Halloween.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yes, so it's a Halloween, right, A couple of weeks ago,
A couple of weeks ago, we just had it. I
hate it.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Sorry, start fresh, sorry, okay.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Far out as we know. A couple of weeks ago,
we had Hallow one week ago. Shut up, shut your mouth,
Shut your mouth right now, we just had Halloween in
the undisclosed amount of time ago. Is that better? Whn't
I just leave a blank spot? You can add two weeks.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
For people who may not know. We record this a
week in advance.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
I think we've already We're already spilt the beans. We
got the new listeners.
Speaker 5 (41:25):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Okay, so I saw from the other week when we
had Halloween. Does that work for you? Thank you good,
because it works for me. And I saw a video
of a lady going through her kid's handy bucket to
be safe, but I realized she was going through it
to check if there was any poison. But she was
picking out one particular chocolate that was in their kids
(41:53):
basket because she wanted it. That's very good because like,
this one's got poison. This, this one's got poison. This one. Oh,
there's poison in that one.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
It's like the Mars bars.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
It's really poisonous, that one. So that I thought that
was genius, very very good. I tried to implement it.
Too many lollipops in that anyway. That's my last funny.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Just speaking of Halloween, which may have been one or
two weeks ago. I fucking woke up and I was like, oh,
the kids are quiet, chowing down on their chocolate and lollies.
And I was like, you guilty.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Motherfuckers, aren't they. I walk in the room, they're like their.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Father and I was like, what are you guys doing?
And they're like hands behind their back, sitting on their bed.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Oh nothing, The colored tongue gets them.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Every time we're just reading stories, We're where are the books?
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Ah? And I was like, you guys are so dumb.
I actually know. I actually I April actually got in
trouble here because it was so late at like we
were late for bed and late for everything. Already for
some reason I don't know, but she had. She had said,
if you're eating and you can have something out of
(43:06):
your bucket, and I said nope. I said no, no, no, no, no,
no no, because April will toddle off to bed and
I'll get stuck with these fucking kids high on sugar
and makes two of us. And I was like, no, no, tomorrow,
you can tomorrow, at a reasonable time, you can. And
was like April was like, okay, okay. I went through
(43:29):
a shower, I came back and no Oscar came and
said something to me. Tongue was blue, idiot, I said
to April, I was like, you didn't give him any
of their lollies, did you? Like no, I was like,
why is oscars tongue blue? Then genius, it just comes
(43:50):
over and side kicks you shut down anyway, Baja, I
can't wait for the lollibucket to be gone.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Ash, we have two questions. Okay, yes, Ash, these questions.
They've actually been pulled pulled from the Facebook group, which
is just it's a great place to be it really is.
It is never had an angry or upset pair enough
spending time in the Facebook group.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
We spam them. This is from Nali Naylee. Unique name,
isn't it? I never heard that.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
I've never met a Nale nayl.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
Like Nalie namely.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Good to have you here, Nellie. She says baby on
board sign for the car. I don't have one, and
wondering if I should. Some wanting people's thoughts. What's the purpose?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
First of all, do you have a baby that's in
that car? Good point, that's your first, that's my first.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Ques just like, make sure you meet the criteria. Do
you think they like ask for proof when you buy
a baby sign?
Speaker 1 (44:47):
She was a kid, like, that's not yours. That's a dog.
That's a dog. Get out. Do you know why they
have baby signs on car? No? Is it because you've
got a baby in the car? I could be the obvious.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
I always thought it was. I thought it was an arrogance.
I don't know, like a.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Flex I can procreate. Look at me. We had sex.
The person driver this car is someone who has sex.
I'm a sex haer over here. I am one of them.
I have proof. It is actually the only proof you
do have unless you're in porn, and if you're in
(45:29):
porn with kids you've got two types of ideas you
hit that points of id.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I just thought it was like, I don't know. I
thought it was just because you're so proud you've had
a child. You're like, I'm a proud sex and you
want to you want to scream it from the hilltops.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I never thought about that though. I never thought of
that way. I just thought, there's a baby in this car.
But then I also look at it and thinking, what
do you as someone who does just say, someone who
doesn't have a baby in the car sees your car
with a baby on boards on, what's the expectation of me?
Then I, oh, shit, a bit of slow down, I'm
not gonna run that car anymore, don't I might just
ease up a little bit. I'd like, don't tell me
(46:05):
what to do. Started I did think that.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
As well, like should I not drive too close? Or
maybe maybe it's like a learner sign, you know how
you give them a bit of can.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
You use it as part of like telling someone off
on the roads like oh I have a baby, I'm
board That's what I thought. Maybe what is the real reason.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Well I looked at I thought someone told me this reason.
But then I looked it up and it's like, officially
not a reason, but I always thought I think it
was the first aid class that I went to that
people would put the baby on board sign so that
if you're in a crash and the first responders come
over and say there's been like a six car pile up,
(46:43):
and they're like, who do we which car do we
go first? Who do they prioritize?
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah, I've got a counter argument though on that the baby.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
So they're like, oh, baby on board sign, we'll get
this car, We'll save the baby first.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Okay, is that the actual reason someone said that? That's
what someone told me, And I'm going to debunk that
real quick. Go on, And this is why we did
have one. The thing barely sticks to the window. If
it an accident, it's not going to be visible anymore.
It would fall when I put the boot down, so
I just ditched it.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
That's where you're buying your signs from.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
The old classic baby on board sign shop.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
They said you've got to like, you've got to get franchises, man,
you got to get you're buying the budget signs.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Bro, Okay, that's what that's what you get. Yeah, you
don't don't come at me with that because you know
I'm going to come back with you.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
And you can't put a price on safety for your kids.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Bro. Apparently you can. But anyway go They.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Said it's not official because they just look to see
where the babysits are.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
That's apparently, okay, what's the what's the actual.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Well, that's I I before we start this record, I
was like, I'm going to tell you exactly why. But
as soon as we started recording, I looked at it
was like, actually, it's not official.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
So there's no official legalities behind it. There's nothing behind it.
It's all like it's like essentially it's a bumper sticker
saying it's a brag you will right, Oh my god,
all right, Matt's the stable across. Something sounds groundbreaking.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
So apparently this is coming from a paramedic. Apparently they
would assess the situation. They wouldn't prioritize a baby. So
if someone's in like a burning car, like help, and
there's a car that's just like up on the curb
and there's a baby signed, they're not going to go.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
We'll get the baby first. They won't do it.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
They will not one second I'll get the baby first
because they're more important.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Please be quick.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
I'm burning alive right now hopefully yeah, okay, sorry, yeah
baby first?
Speaker 1 (48:34):
That would that would.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
They would give me.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Put yourself out. There's a baby that's unharmed over there.
We need to get that baby out. Sorry forgive me.
They've got much longer to leave anyway.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
So apparently, yeah, whoever needs the medical attention is who
gets it.
Speaker 5 (48:59):
Thank Kevin's no, thank goodness and goodness, the paramedics know
what's going on, and.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Just been like I'm a sex hammer. So you know,
all right, I got a question.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
So maybe maybe it is just the like it's a flex. Well,
whoever fucking came up with this sign, they must be
worth millions.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
It's like those my family stickers, remember those ones? What
are they about? They just they were just Lad's a flex.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
That was a flex.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
But like, why would you want to brag about how
many kids you've got? Yeah, it's like I'm a hot
It's like going to it's going like going to war.
Like if you go like you know, we'll badge.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
If you're going to like active service in like Afghanistan,
you get like a little badge, you know, it's like,
that's essentially what you get. But in family form.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
There's a bunch of veterans out they're going, how I'm
not making comparison between raising a child and going to
like an active war zone. It's pretty similar. Instead of
take the out, instead of shells, it's shit, So it's similar.
I don't want to laugh lest we forget. I have
another question from the Facebook group Believe it or not driving?
(50:11):
It's driving?
Speaker 2 (50:13):
We here four thousand members. Do you remember when we
first launched that Facebook group and we sat on twenty
members for like six months and.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
We're like, should we delete it? Yeah? Goodness, we didn't.
The day one is the day one of the die hards,
as I call them. Where are they now? Reach out?
We want to hear from They're now grandparents? All right?
So this one is around specifically Christmas. Just one's from Crystal.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Hey, Crystal Christal with a K, Christal.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
With a K, John the capital sostal? Who's putting the
who's putting up the Christmas tree? Is it? Is it
time already? Now? Halloween's over? Okay? Do you put the
Christmas tree out now? Or is there a lag time between?
Speaker 8 (50:57):
Now?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
When do you put it up. That's the question. That's
Crystal's question.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Okay, there are two ways of answering this question, Matt
before kids and Matt after kids. Matt before kids would
have said you're crazy if you put the Christmas tree
up outside of December. I thought, like December one, kind
of following the advent calendar. Four weeks before Christmas. You
follow that rule. But now that I'm a parent, okay,
(51:23):
there is no greater reminder to the kids to behave
true then to have the Christmas tree as a signal.
That is just announcing that Sanda is always watching.
Speaker 1 (51:34):
Okay, okay, very bad.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
I think rather than having to say don't forget Christmas
is coming up, the kids in misbehaving, you've got the
Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Up, just point to the tree.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
I'm with you, all right, timmy good, keep that shit up.
You're not getting anything under that tree. They are messy though,
and you're getting a real tree at the plastic one.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Yeah, plastic one. There's little things they fall off.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
There everywhere, what the little ornaments or the leaves.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
The little tiny little green that are fake leaf.
Speaker 2 (52:03):
Then you buy your Christmas tree from the same shop
that you get the baby signs.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
From Yeah, they stick to the back. My tree is disintegrated.
If it was up to me, I would put it
up for Christmas Eve. But I'm coming but stop stop it.
I'm coming from a family we didn't have a Christmas
Yeah I know. Yeah, so I'm bending the rules. If
it was really up to me, if I was going
to be completely honest with you, fuck it off.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
You know, because you need you can use this to
your advantage. My guy.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
Now I'm gonna stick with yelling.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
You can you can use the Christmas tree is like,
it's essentially a security camera for your kids to make
them behave.
Speaker 1 (52:46):
I was gonna say, it's more like an authoritarian figure
in the house in the corner. Yeah yeah. But also
it's like you may as well have Santa Claus. You
just hate putting it up and taking it down because
it always ends up being my fucking problem. I was like,
we're going to do it. I'm like, oh my god,
where means me?
Speaker 2 (53:04):
Don't you do it with the kids?
Speaker 1 (53:06):
They interested in it for about ten seconds and I'm
moving on from this. Yeah, what is the rule?
Speaker 2 (53:11):
We don't know?
Speaker 1 (53:12):
Okay, what's the rule? When do you take it down?
Whoa I have been looking.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
I have been looking at the houses and being like
taking note of who quickly took down the Halloween decorations
and who's still got it.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
Next day I woke up in the houses around the neighborhood.
We'll go who were these freaks?
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Who are the freaks that are taken down decorations the
day after a calendar event?
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Web up? There are is that being stored?
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Is they put in the bin?
Speaker 1 (53:38):
Yeah? Do you store it?
Speaker 2 (53:39):
So many questions?
Speaker 1 (53:40):
I think And I pitched this idea to you last
year because I don't like the set up and put
down a Christmas tree. I would say, a pop up
Christmas tree that's already pre set.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
You can't kind of get like the umbrella ones.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
Yeah, but like I mean like a bit more realistic
than just like oh, sorue you you wrap anything that
you just go that and you pull a tab and
it goes. That's a lovely tree.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
I think they have them, do they?
Speaker 1 (54:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (54:04):
Actually, speaking of Christmas, I know that we're not in December,
but I would like to get into the Christmas spirit
early yay. And by doing that, I want to hear
about your funny disasters of stories about Christmas.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Mine or the listeners.
Speaker 2 (54:21):
Listeners, Okay, I don't want yours.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
I do like a good disaster story.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
So if you have any little nuggets that you want
to get if you're if you have any little nuggets
that you want to get off your chest?
Speaker 1 (54:31):
Oh yeah please?
Speaker 2 (54:31):
They can be anonymous. Yeah, send it in either DMS
or hello at two dotting dads dot com.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Anything awkward too? I like awkward stories.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
Oh yeah, like family like because you don't see Uncle Rick.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
Comes in with his new girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (54:46):
But please send them in.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Ideally, what I would like is uncle Rick comes in
with his new girlfriend who has the same name as
his ex wife. Oh that's the sort of shit I
want to hear.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Please, Ash, Yes, that is that is time. That is
I'm calling time on this episode.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Thank god. If you have enjoyed this episode, you know I.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
Did a poll Ash, this is in life on card.
I did a poll and I said, where do you
find where do you find new podcasts? Guess what the
number one answer was. It was hearing it from a friend.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
Tell your friends.
Speaker 2 (55:22):
Then that is So that leads to my request to
the listeners right now, if you genuinely hand on heart,
Oh my god, I've enjoyed any episode one of the
one hundred and eighty seven episodes of Two Doting Dads.
Tell Someone, Tell anyone, or you.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Could just go on to social media and go to
Two Doting Dads Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and YouTube. I thought
we're going to stop begging.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
But no, because they're laughed. No, I'll stop begging at
the end of the year, up until Christmas.
Speaker 1 (55:58):
Christmas present to me. You'll stop it?
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Yes, and then also, if you enjoyed it, if you
liked it, it's a review, subscribe, subscribe, a couple of comments,
a couple of stars. It's all it takes.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
All right, I'm hungry. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
Okay, we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
Can kind of string this episode out?
Speaker 7 (56:18):
We will see so yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:30):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (56:38):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land
Can you smell that?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Can you smell anything?
Speaker 1 (00:03):
God? No?
Speaker 3 (00:04):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Okay, we had an incident this morning, an incident.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Someone shout themselves. Who do you think?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the club?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Not you, not me? What's your other guests?
Speaker 4 (00:15):
It's got to be Laura.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Welcome back to Two Dating Dads. I'm Maddie Jay and
this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad and the relatable.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And one thing we will never do is give advice.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Correct, was not Laura?
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Laura?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Didn't she herself?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, good, I'm glad. Any other guesses? Nana? She?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Nana has been shooting herself quite a lot. That's out
of gastri out of hospital. But was not Nana. Who's
your other guests?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I'm running out of people here one of the girls? Nope,
Buster there he is. Hey here. A dog can't shit
themselves because they're not wearing pants or anything. They just shit.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
That is technically correct.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Okay, So he shat unexpectedly?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
There were Yeah, pretty much?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah? Why what set him off? Mane?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I don't know. He's getting old and he's very very good,
like he will hold it in until his morning walk.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Right?
Speaker 6 (01:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Does a pool every morning.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Did poo?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, clockwork, light, clockwork?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Right? Has he got a spot?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Got a Spot's a little patch of lawn outside this
guy's house. It's like new turf. Had the house renovated?
A Buster is like that's my spot totally. And then
this morning feeding the kids breakfast, and Nana was.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Like, oh, where was.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
It over there? And I look over and buses just
squatting on the fucking carpet.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Why do they choose the carpet?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So I like pushed him onto the floorboards and he
was like, oh, got three legs. And then as he
was like taking little steps, just bits of poo were
fucking coming. And then I got a little bit angry
at Nana because I was like, well, I'll pick up
the fucking bits of poop. And Nana was like stop
and I was like what for, and I'd like I'd
already begun. It was like, you know, little nuggets.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
He's a big dog.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
He's a big dog, very stinky boy. And I was like,
I'm going to pick up the pooh? What what do
you mean? Just trying to cut swearing out, Do I
swear it now? No guilty? And then she goes, don't
pick it? Up because then you don't know where the
poo is to.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Clean it up. That's a good point, very good point.
And I was like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
And then I looked down and I was like.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Oh god, yeah, I always leave like a little smear
so I can come back to it. Like my dog
last night, ship ship in the house? What storm? She does?
Like a storm? She vibrates when the storms come on.
She's so anxious.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, like Buster does as well.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I like, I think I did a video a while
ago where I was it's going to turn my dog
on to vibrate. So where did she ship? In the kitchen?
But after I'd just taken her out for a ship?
That's that's rude, fucking annoying. But yeah, just a little smear.
Come back with the anti bacterial wife and being a
shot a job.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
A Buster Like since then, he's been like so guilty,
I'm so sorry. I know, and I'm like, it's fine,
we'll get over a Buster. And Laura is like, can
you just tell him that it's going to be okay?
And I was like, he doesn't know, Yeah, he doesn't know.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
He probably probably think if you're like it's going to
be okay, you probably think, why are you still angry
with me?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah, God, he's getting he's getting old. Thirteen years thirteen
and your housekeeping ash.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
My favorite new favorite segment, What do you got?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It's fucking dirty? Sorry, yeah, crumbs everywhere? I do you
want to say, it's the only time his table is
a clean when we fucking did this.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Podcast, Because when you start to talk about something you like,
so let me tell you that something crumbs everywhere?
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Shit.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Quick update?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Did my movie?
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh? Yes, yes, yes, how did you go? You had
two lines?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
A couple of little mistakes that I made.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
In those two lines.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Well, look, look I got a few details wrong. I
didn't let anyone know on set that I had got
the details wrong. But I thought it was good. I
thought I was doing a comedy. I thought it was
a comedy film.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, what are the lines that you did? You delivered? Well,
it's called The Killings, okay.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And then I was getting get ready, getting dressed, and
they're like you excited about doing this? And I was like, yeah,
you know, it's gonna be a lot of fun. And
they're like, yeah, I gave it a bit of fun.
And I was like, how's it been? And yeah, it's
been pretty full on and I was like, oh, why
what's happened? There's like so much death. Everyone dies gruesome
deaths in this film.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Do you die?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Sadly, I don't. I know, I know, very annoyed. But
it's a hectic horror like it's on par with as
gruesome as like a sore type.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Movie Australian made, Australian made.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah. I thought it was set in the eighties, which
is why I had the mustache.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, and you're a cop. That's what I wanted to be, like,
a is this what I asked you to clean shave?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You're like nope, yeah, And I was like, no, it's eighties,
it's not eighties current day.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Oh my god, you've been misinformed.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Very misinformed. And then it's not like you. I didn't
have a character name. I was just desk Cop. That
was my name. And because it's the main characters are cops,
I learned the wrong scene. There's a different desk cop.
And so we did a rehearsal and they're like scene
thirty four and I was like, that's me. And then
(05:28):
people were saying their lines and I was like, the fuck,
what are we?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
What are we learning here. And then they were like,
and I.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Don't know if you've been on a film set ash
there's a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of people,
a lot of cameras. Yeah, pressure, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And then they're like, the director's like, it's your line, Matt,
and I was like, they're like flicking through the screen
and the main character and nains Heather Mitchell. She's very
experienced in the film industry in Australia. It's a big deal.
She was like, it's okay, sweetie.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
How old is she? She's a child.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
Actually sixty six, okay, so it's been around the trap
at least at least she's much older and she can
go like it kind of plays it off.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So it was a little bit stressful, but we got
it done.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Okay, what were you lines? The line is one line?
You've been cut down one line. And then I was
in the bullpin.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I think it's cool, yeah cool, Yeah, someone's been arrested
a few times.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Don't you need to tell everyone that? But yep, I
always meant.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
To be in the bullpin. But then they were like, oh,
actually it makes sense if he's gone, and.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
It makes sense if you just got back in his
car and drove home.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Also, I was like, there was a couple of extras
and I was kind of with them, Oh.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
You've been pushed into the extrasile.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
And there was even another guy and he was trying
to get in on. He was on the whiteboard in
the back of the scene and there it was ruthless.
He was doing one scene and they were.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Like, whiteboard boy, get out. Ah, you're too confusing. You're
distracting the scene. It was cutthroat in there, dude. So
my line was set the scene for me.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
There's an old detective who has come in. She's retired,
but she was a cop.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Can I be that old detective? Yeah, I'll deliver that line.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Actually, you'll be the inspector. You'll be the inspector who's
a current detective. And this old detective has made like
I've met her at reception and she's like, I need
to go and speak to the detective. And I'm like, okay, well,
like I'll bring you in the detective.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Who's you.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
You're trying to solve a case, you're very stressed, and
you'll do that and you turn around and you go,
who's this.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
That's it? Yeah? Okay, So I'm gonna give you a
little actors tip here to look stressed, just look annoyed. Yeah,
same thing. Who is it? Sorry, inspector.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
This woman insisted on speaking with you.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Very good end scene. Wow, very good. That's good. But
I was.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I went to the director and I was like, am
I a bit nervous when I am? I am I
afraid of being in trouble? Like, what's the how am I?
What's my emotion behind the line? And he was like,
it's a fucking line, bro.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Work it out. I thought it was a comedy. Come down,
It's gonna be a great film. I can't wait. He
and he just realized full of dark film when you're
just like, what the full Jerry Seignfeld. But it was.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
It was fun to be on set. Yeah, it takes
a long time to film one line. Six hours, six hours.
I didn't it was a lot of talking was done
by the other characters.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, okay, so we just got to see it. I
was just that food jack bite. It's like a pork
stir fry.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
They had that, just like Jamaican fish cinnamon scrolls. Bam
to the catering team, I was like, Bravo, Chef's kiss yeah,
like this is I guess what Coddy's cordial and.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Not for him. You have to have a minimum of
two lines. I was.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I was like, I was like, this is gonna have
some more and than like of course, you know when
you eat something for so long, it tastes.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
A bit of ship. Yeah, Whereas I so.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I think the other actors were like, oh, fucking pork
stuff again, where I.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Was like, did they have a like what do they
call those rooms or it's just like snacks? Yes, oh
that's such an American thing.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
They had chippies and was so good. It's great, very good, great,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I can't wait to not see it. I just want
to watch your line because I don't do horror. I
don't know if you noticed, but I'm a big old
skarty cat.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, I'm not going to watch it, watch it.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I will watch it. Watch I love those parodies of
people being like what they should have done that? And
they're like we should just stay one more night. They're like,
why would we do that? Let's go home? Right? Anyway,
onwards with Housekeeping, my favorite segment, Matt, there's more breaking news,
breaking news, what have you got?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
People will start listening to us.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
For their news updates.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Yeah, we could do a separate news podcast.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
That's another story. It's just social media news. Sorry. Yeah,
breaking news. A mother over in Florida, in America has
given birth to a record breaking baby. How much does
that baby weigh? Do you reckon what's normal? I have
no idea? Nine inches, I have no idea. Someone said
(10:30):
to my friend had a baby the other day and
he was like, yeah, it was X, this and this
many pounds. I was like, what does any of that mean?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I don't I don't take note of the details. I
think back in the day, they're like, how many pounds?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
What is she?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Whereas I think Poppy was. I think she was three
and a half. You could be wrong, or you could
be she was three and a half.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
People are like how much did she weigh?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
And I'm like I don't know, And they're like what
and I don't know how much you weighed?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
They're like, wrong with you? Imagine if we spoke about
adults like that. It's like I was just with Map,
how much does he work? Give me his dimensions? Immediately,
I want to know how long he was, how big
was his head? Yeah? Okay, so I think three and
a half was poppy. I want to say KOs or pounds.
(11:18):
That was killers three and a half kilos. That's not right.
I've taken shits bigger than man.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I don't doubt that at all. I want to say
his baby was double that. I'll say seven.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Forty year old mum Danielle. Shout out to Danielle for
pushing this bad boy. Yeut had a c section. I
take that back to pull out the baby. A nun
who a record? How much six point three killers? You're closed?
That's six again? I don't know that is that big?
(11:56):
It must be big record break. The Guinness World Record
reports that the heavy baby born to a healthy mother.
Just add that in there was a boy way ten
point two kilo who was born in Italy nineteen fifty five.
It's a lot of pasta. That is a lot of
That is a lot of pasta.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Wow, six three that's good. You've got to be happy
with that if you're the mum, right like, that's a
badge of honor.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Six points you push yet well again, didn't push it out,
but still hey hey hey, still carrying that around? Carrying
that around?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That's like a bowling ball. Imagine a bowling ball, ye
imagine that weighing. You're down fucking.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
At what point during that pregnancy they were like, this
is going to get heavy.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, When do they start to say, hey, we want
to manage your expectations here, this thing is going to
fuck this way. It's going to weigh you down.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It's going to be a fucking giant baby. That is big.
I think anywhere over five kilos is a decent a
decent effort.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I love how we have no idea about now. We're like,
you know, anything over five kilos and you know you're
on doing about singer.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It's huge. Just for context, I want to just give
you some items that do weigh the same for the
listener as well. That is six around six kilos. Vacuum
cleaner imagine car, imagine carrying around a vacuum cleaner, Henry
or probably one of those old what do they call them,
morm hoover, A hoover, that's a hoover. Six pineapples, spiky,
(13:29):
a mini fridge off mini fridge to find mini fridge.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
How many are we talking?
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Six kilos? Minn I don't get heye is it?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Daniella Daniel what a woman?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Three MacBook pros and the last one a bowling ball. Yeah,
that is big anyway, congratulations.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
You wouldn't want to push that out, would you? You know,
medically you'd recommend.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I wonder if because the other the other one was
ten point two kilos in nineteen fifty five, I think
that wouldn't have been a C section.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
They when was the sea section invented?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Now be late the day after?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
What?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
What first documented sea section wasn't there? Fifteen hundred's? What?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah? Do they have ebie girrels? It was done by
Julius Caesar. That's how they got the Caesar salad? Are
they named the Caesars? Very good? Wow, I've got a
hack for you. Oh I like that. I like the sound.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Just quickly be like last little note in housekeeping. We
have had this sent through by Shari, and she's got
a hack. We love a hack. What do we love
more than any type of hack?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Food?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Dinner?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Kid? Oh god, I feel like a food salesman in
my own house. How do I You're gonna love this dish?
Go go on give it to me.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I think this is very good.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Hey, hey, I hope you don't mind a voice message.
It's much quicker than typing, so our dinner time hack
with three little boys is three different sizes of dessert.
Anywhere Ever finishes first gets to choose, and then the
next person gets to choose, and then the next person
gets stuck with the smallest obviously. So yeah, we're not
sitting around at the table for an hour, none of that.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Oh my god, that's geese. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, okay, My only issue with this, And I'd love
to speak to Sari if you're listening, answer this question. Please,
do you have a meltdown? Because Lola is a slow, slow,
slow eater.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, Marley is a fast eater. Is there a handicap?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Is there a handicap? Like do you start one child first?
So it's more of an even race, because I would
worry that Lola will when she figures out that she's
like halfway through and she looks the meal, she looks
at her plate, looks at Marley's plate, she goes, fuck,
I'm not going to win this one. Marley's got She's
like flying to separate them. Yeah, okay, but don't you
(15:59):
but you're also want them to be like feeding off
each other, no pun intended.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Sure, Yeah, that's a good count.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Do your kids when they know they're gonna lose, do
they either forfeit the race or do they have a meltdown?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, because I just go with that. If you finish,
you get your you get one of these old school
old Macy's like still thinks she's getting it when she
doesn't eat, so she she'll melt down every night.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Last night and she's got half a bowl left, and
you're like, just one more mouthful. I know, I gave
just lick the past that and I'll give you a treat.
Just walking it for three seconds and it's yours it,
it's yours.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah, exactly right. And like last night I was like,
you're gonna eat this chicken, She's like no, I'm like,
give it to the dog. And then gave it to
the dog. She's finished the cucumber, the lord and savior
of every meal, and she goes, can I have a treat?
I was like, what do you think? She was like,
I ate it all. I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
The fucking dog eating a drumstick right literally, look down there,
(16:57):
let's see the dog bowl. The dog's eating it right now.
You ate the cucumber, you're.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Not getting And she's like, what are you talking about
She's yeah, I know, but the cucumber I know.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And then if I try and introduce something new, I'm
like a fucking cast salesman again, do.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
You what I sometimes say, this is my little hack. Okay, okay,
I'm so full.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
You'll die if you don't eat. I'm so full.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I cannot eat another mouthful. I couldn't possibly. So if
you can't eat another mouthful, what hope in the hell
do you have of eating any dessert? If you're that
full that you can't eat any more, then I don't
want to put you through the ordeal of trying to
eat dessert.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Fair. That is fair, and the kids are like, fuck,
it's got me. But then it's also a bit.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Confusing where I'm like, so you eat more and then
you get dessert and that what.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Yeah, anyway, it's very it's a mind field. But that's
pretty good. I think turning anything into a competition is
usually work, especially when you got She says she had
had three boys.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Three boys, three boys.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
There you go all that much, that's going to be
you're really setting Actually, if I'm gonna get real deep here,
you're really setting up for a very competitive household down
the track, yes, which I don't know. They might be
into that anyway, that's the end of housekeeping. I don't know.
If you saw the other day on my socials, I
put a little picture of Oscar in his jiu jitsu
(18:15):
outfit because we had grading.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
What is just really quickly, what is grading? I'm not
We don't do contact sport. We are ballet dancers my end,
So what's jiujitsu grading? What is that?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
So they get together on a day called the grading day,
which is they do it in like age groups, right,
so there's like four tal once a year every term.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
I'm not sure yet, I apologize, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Sure yet, which I'll find out, but essentially what happens
is there's four till seven in age grade groups, then
there's like eight till thirteen, and then it goes from
thirteen into whatever. So we did the Obviously Oscar's six,
so he falls from four to seven. So the four
to seven and then there's the slightly older kids do
it at the same time. So what they do it's
(19:00):
kind of because when you go you don't it's a
drop and go situation. You're not allowed to stop.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
And watch normally or on grading day, not on a
normal lesson.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
So Oscar goes upstairs to the class. I don't see
anything he does. The first time he goes, I get
to watch. But then the other time, why do they
do that?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Do you think?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Gets? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
One?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
And then maybe people have a little bit like of
a like I don't want to but yeah, I don't
want you watching my kid. You know that sort of
thing should be because I don't know, I don't know
the nuts and bolts of it. But anyway, so it
was an opportunity for them to they do. They all
get there at a certain time. They do like the
warm up they would do as a big groups, and
(19:42):
you get to watch and see the sort of things.
Is he an outfit? Was he wearing free clothes? Now
it's full full kid, full kid?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
What's the kid cost?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
It's a few hundred what Yeah, for the kid.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It's like a ninety. It's a robe, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
No? No, it's a kimono.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
So it's rude of me, yes, very rood of you.
It's like special pants. They've got like a special shirt
with the jacket and the belt that goes around. When
you say special, it's like special too. Martial arts. Like
it's not like you just walking with your leather jacket
and be like, oh it's.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Special at that's a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
It is a lot of money. But I'll tell you
one's making a lot of money here because I don't
get to watch him. I don't really get to see
what he's up to. Can I just say, different kid?
Completely different kid. It is unbelievable the amount of self control.
He sat there for an hour and a half, still
(20:40):
sat still for an hour and a half. Is my
kid breathing? Yeah? I was like, what the hell I've
lost Oscar. I can't find him. And I was talking
to the head teacher yesterday and he was like, he
was like, people don't understand. People just think it's a
martial arts a contact sport, right, which it is, and
there's a lot of technique and all this stuff that
goes into it. But he was like, people to understand
(21:01):
how good it is for your kid.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
The discipline, the discipline, I believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I was like what. And then they called him up.
They were calling everyone up. And that's the thing, right
when it comes to award shows or remember award assemblies
at school. And it was like, get on with it.
If I'm not getting anything, I don't fucking care, right,
And you're like, especially a six year old sitting still
for an hour and a half is n'nheard of?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Oh yeah, you one by one fucking the kids out
your own time out.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
The kids that weren't that were like not quite as focused,
And I was like, the heck's going on here? And
then they call they call you out and like, the
thing is you got you get stripes before your belt
goes up in color, So you get X amount of stripes.
Don't ask me. I don't know how many?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I was going to ask me, I just can tell.
And I was at ape. I'm like, don't ask yeah,
I know. I'll be like, before I tell you this,
I'm going to tell you all the information that I have.
Just so we're clear, you don't ask me the question.
Dig yeah, no more digging. I don't know. Put the
shovel down. At the time I finished this sentence, you'll
know as much as me. That's fair, right, Sorry, Okay,
(22:12):
so when I finished this, you'll live as cludeing as
I am. Anyway, So then they go they give you
the stripes, and then so they start with this the
lower gradings before they go into like the kids are
like the black belt, Well they're not quite there. It's
sort of like there's a lot of colors. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
And then they sort of were rattling off, who's up,
(22:34):
Who's up, and then they called Oscar. Kid just got up,
walked over, shook all their hands, got his thing turned around,
posed for a photo, went back and sat down. No, like, no,
little ninja. Yeah, none of this. Shake his hand, come on,
shake his hand, smile for the folk. None of that
(22:54):
ship that I'm doing it any other situations.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I think they've just been like teaching the kids that
process the whole year.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Don't watch the classes. Well he did all the warm
up and stuff and actually fight. Yeah, and there was
doing the thing and I was like yeah, so I
was just and then I was yeah. I was talking
to the teacher yesterday and he was like, it's.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Here's a star pupil, and You're like, my Oscar.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
He was like, it's it's crazy that like it's the
misconception around the martial arts with kids. It's like, oh
my kid fighting the discipline is unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
It sounds like you're in a cult, the misconception. All
you have to do is pay a one off fee
and then every month the.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Heads are shaved. Weird, No, but yeah, anyway, So shout
out to the Checko jiu Jitsu for straightening the boy
out because I can't believe. And he's like frothing. Yes.
I took him back for his normal class and he
into it comes down beating up kids upstairs, bloody loves it.
Are you going to go next year? Resign?
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
He'll continue. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Marley's like, I never want to dance again, and I've
just it's funny, bit dramatic. I just spent like a
hundred bucks on your like concert outfit. Tomorrow, I've got
to take it to rehearsal. Then the Saturday morning is
the concert and she's.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Like, I hate dance.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I'm like, people are like, don't force your kids into
things that don't like.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
She was obsessed. Yeah wow, yeah, like there's something that's happened.
You need to get to the nuts.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
And is it the ballet? I don't know. Do I
put her into an interpretive jazz hip hop?
Speaker 1 (24:28):
My martial arts?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I was you know what I was playing with them yesterday?
I was doing scrum like touch and paws engaged.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
They love that. Yeah, Rugby, I was thinking that. I
was like, yeah, because I watched Oscar. So Oscar goes
with Lenny, which is a little mate, And when we
were away the other weekend, Oscar and Lenny were playing
foot in the backyard, just one v one, classic kid stuff,
and you could tell it was getting heated. And I
was like, well, heck, this is how we settle this
(24:56):
a fight. But I was like, not got quite blatantly
like that. You're like, don't worry, I've got this. I've
got this. Who's a knife billy. At first, I was like,
do you guys need to fight this out? And Oscar
was like yeah, because.
Speaker 9 (25:14):
It's just he's got his double stripe. He's likefore that.
Lenny's in the same class. So I was like, why
don't we jiu jitsu this out? Literally, Oscar leg swoops Lenny.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Right, she can't do that out, So you're meant to
be teaching him disciplined. Otherwise it's harmless. He'll start leg
sweeping kids in the playground timeless. I said to him,
you don't do this unless you're in the correct control environment.
You kids need to fight this out. That's pretty much
what I said. Yeah. Anyway, he leg sweeped and Lenny's big.
He is a bigger kid because of the weight. He
(25:47):
changed the weight distribution, flipped and landed on top of Lenny,
on top of him, and I was like, wow, now
I'm scared in my own home. I'm like, I got
these little ninja kids running around my house. Asks for
is calling, which is great. Well, the teachers like he's
built for this. See okay me.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Now, I don't know if it's a dad thing, but
anything my kids do that somehow closy relates to a sport.
Like if they climb a tree, I'm like, oh, gymnast,
I'm that rock climber. I'm trying to like look at
anything they do, the way they behave, the way they move,
and I'm just cross referencing it against sport to try
(26:26):
and like she jumps in the pool and I'm like,
Olympic diver.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah straight up, Well you're gone to the Olympics twenty fifty.
You're going to be there. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I was like having a little wrestled with Lola, and
I was like, she couln't be wrestling.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, rugby is that Lola co being rugby.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Do you think she could? Yeah, it's my job. It's
my duty to find out what my kid's passion is.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
What it's sport, and that's fine, is it? That's that's absolutely.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Okay, whether it's arts and crafts, extreme arts.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh, anyway, that's what I'm dealing with.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Ash. Yeah, I've had like some weird experiences lately in
the park parks.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
You really shouldn't be there in the middle of the
night with for starters. I know what they're about. That
makes it, Laura, I'm going for a walk looking at it,
looking for the pregnant women with their feet out come on,
bring that belly over here. As a classic line from you.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
People don't understand people who may be joining us for
the first time.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Matt's got a pregnancy kink. No solved any confusion.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
You're the one who had the information about feet rubs
increasing love by twenty.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Three percent Instagram. Were you just feeding me information that
you think I want to hear? Yeah, well, the algorithm
is already picking up on what we're talking about and
use it. Bring that belly and feet over here.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
No, I've had two things that have been weird. Okay,
one was was at the park of the day and
it was a Sunday, quite busy in the park, and
I stay outside. So a few kids out there playing
really said the name for me like this, And there
was a section where there was a sand pit. I
want to say, there's about six kids scattered throughout this area.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
And the worst things are terrible, terrible.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
And down at Bondeo Beach there's always a few birds around.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Can't trobably keep going? Can I just run a really
quick idea by you? Absolutely panetic sandpit? Write down? Mean
you know the kinetic sand, the scientific sand that all
sticks together and it forms the shape. Make that into
a sand pit. That way doesn't come home with you,
stays with its sand. Fellow friends.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I don't think I've ever been in contact with a
kinetic sandpit.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, there isn't one. I mean, this is an idea
I've got. Very good, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
We should start and in Bondi we only have kinetic sad.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Were going out for a seafood and and some kinetic sandplay.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
What do you call this?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
That's knetic sand? What do you have on the all
the beaches white sand?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Very good kid, I want to say. She was about
six years old. She was like, you know, looking at
the pigeons, a couple of pigeons about because you know,
kids have snacks, the corn thins.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
It's like a feeding frenzy.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It's a buffet for birds. And next thing I look
down and she's caught a pigeon.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Child.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
She's holding the pigeon and the pigeon has gone nuts.
A pigeon it's like flapping about. Oh my god, this
sheick is just like as calm as can be, just
like holding it. And then eventually the bird flies away
and she's holding like a.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Tuft of feathers.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
She washed her hands, and then the mother got up
and I was like, okay, how is the mother going
to react here? And the mother was like telling her
what she did wrong? How to catch another one?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Was it Terry Owen? What the fuck was?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
What's weird? Isn't it strange?
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Okay? I was like, did she stalk the p pryor no?
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Why?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
I think she didn't even have any bait. The pigeons
were just so comfortable around the presence of kids because
I think after a while they'd been eating and that
they were like nothing here is non threatening.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Have you ever caught a bird. No, it's fucking hard.
Do you know why?
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Because they fly this kid and the mother was like,
this is a sport, and all the parents.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
In the park were looking around like.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
What the fuck?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I know, I wonder what sport? Her dad's trying to
push it.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
To its Yeah, right, I was like, what is going on?
But no beach, of all places, not amongst the kinetic sand.
And then the second thing that happened to me a
few days later at the park, the one down downhill
down the road. So it's where it's like a few
roads meet up, but then there's a park in the middle.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
How do you think that park came about? I wonder that.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, because there's all these roads that leads it's like
a five way intersection that's town plan was like, you
know what, just put a park there round about?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
No stupid, so random.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
So I'm riding through on the electric bike, and what
I'm very aware of is I'm going through a footpath.
I don't want to be. I don't want to be
one of those people that goes too fast. There's young kids.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
And also are you allowed to ride your bike on footprint?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
I'm not sure, probably not, but they just should. I dismount.
Maybe nah, but I just go. I'm going like under
ten k's very slowly. I'm going through, very considerate to
the other people. So I enter the park on the footpath,
going very slowly. Ahead of me, about fifteen meters is
a young child and he's holding a water pistol. I'm
(31:41):
not sure if you've seen the semi automatic water pistols.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Are they the ones that tektokkis trying to push to me?
It was like, shut up, I thought that was I
thought it was Ai, dude, so buy one.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
They're great. So he's shooting kids. Right as I'm approaching,
he looks up like a ding ding. He looks up,
locks eyes with me, and he goes and for those wondering,
I'm using finger gun finger guns pointed directly at ash
And I was like, surely this little kid's not gonna
(32:14):
shoot me, little ship.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Do you know what he needs? Jiu jitsu? That's what
fucking kids needs. I was getting spright. How old was
this I want to say he was about five and
he knew what he was doing.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
I knew he was doing. And then there was beyond
him was a dad and I was kind of looking
at the dad as I'm getting shot, and then as
I go past the kid, the dad goes not my kid.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I just don't take.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I was like, probably was his child.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
He was gonna be like shooting sun. But also like
they have like the promotion of guns in at like
at there's no guns in my house, no guns, no
other than you, other than the fly gun, the NERF gun.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
We did have a NERF gun face, but the semi
automatic water pistol. No, no, no, no, someone could drown,
had cycled beyond away from the park, Being like like
what should I have Should.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
I have hoped?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I laughed it off, but I was like, yeah, it
was dread.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
That's fair enough. That's rogue children. What's wrong with them?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
What is wrong with them?
Speaker 1 (33:33):
What is absolutely wrong with these kids? Speaking of water,
we went to the zoo the other day, okay, and
we all know one of the better shows is what
Louis the seal show?
Speaker 8 (33:49):
You had that in the chamber because we went to
the zoo that time up near the Central coast and
they had meet Louis at the zoo. Do you remember
I was a reptile parks different, it's a zoo ripped,
It's they wanted a point of difference O case, so
they put they.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Had you know, the reptiles wen enough for the kids,
so they had Bluey there.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
So I thought, big scary Bluey on stage. So a
very good show at Taronga Zoo is the Seal, This
Seal show and it's someone someone say it's iconic.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
May went when she went after school care for the holiday.
They took them, they took him and she loved the Seal.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
It's a great show, raving about it, brilliant. There's a
section of the Seal show though, which is about conservation
and what not to do. And it's sad music. What's
the song I'm thinking of? You know that I built
a home song?
Speaker 4 (34:37):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
I built it?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I built a home, bill a home.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
For you?
Speaker 1 (34:47):
This one?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (34:52):
That song? So it's quite a sad song. They want
you to pay a tea. They play that song. They
play a song and the Seal reenacts what would happen?
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Who was producing this seal shot at the zoo?
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Steven Spielberg. Steven Sielberg. If they don't have a seal
at Taronga Zoo named Stephen Sielberg, I am going to
protest anyway. They had that part of the show where
a seal sort of because they're very smart animals, Matthew,
(35:25):
they're also related to the dog what yeah, learning heaps.
Yeah right, Anyway, they're saying what can happen if you
litter in the ocean. It's quite a moving piece to
most except for Macy. What happened? She didn't quite understand
the context, so she was like, this is boring, yeah,
(35:53):
because everyone's quiet, but we're here a pin drop. We're
all in awe of the first of all of the
allent that this seal has and the directive, the directive
they've received from Steven Silberg, the music choice and the
message behind it. Great, She's meant to be like her
engaging learning moment heartfelt and Macy was like, can I
(36:16):
pick a song? Fucking Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
And she was like, this is the same Mazie that
while you were in Fiji of Tu looking at.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
A tribe eating oreos. Yeah, and there's these poor starving children.
But take that, mat not starving, they eat off the land. Different. Yeah,
asking for the wi Fi I've created monster you have.
So she's sitting on my lap anyway, she's so bored
with the whole thing. She's kicking the people in front
(36:46):
of her. Yeah. The notable note was like, yeah, literally,
get over that. I was like, Jesus Christ, what did
you do? Well, there's nothing I could do. We just
had to endure it because.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Then when you like, come on, you gotta be quiet, honey, tell.
Speaker 6 (37:02):
Me Yeah, kicks off and it gets to the end
where they talk about where you should shop for fish, right,
like what like what you should look out for when
chopping fish.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Which is like the emblem on the fish packet that's
so so from a renewable source. It's not from a
farm fish. Fucking babb bah bah.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I had no idea.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Now you do. It gets really quiet like that, and
then everyone's sort of like quiet thinking about the situation
and makes you just bites down on a rice cracker
and I was like, who go with the rice cracker?
(37:43):
S got it from Oscar anyway. She was just like
and then an upbeat music song came on. She was like, yeah,
no bag, now I'm back. Where are the mermaids? I
was like, for sake, anyway, that's my insensitive daughter. Can't
take her anywhere. You can't know Ash, It is time
for tell me loud, tell me Little Live. I'll go first.
(38:11):
I got one from Monica first, because I've got my
own that I saw that I've stumbled across that.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I thought, you've got a lie.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
I'm not going to take credit for it, but I've
just noticed a credit away. Man.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
For those of you who are just joining us for
the first time, potentially new listeners are parenting lies. The
lies like a little white lies that we tell our
kids victimless to just make parenting a little bit easier,
because it is the hardest job in the world. Well said,
other than training seals, Steven Sielberg, how do you reckon sealed?
Trainers must be great parents.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Oh, they'd be outstanding, although I don't know if children
would like raw fish there he is might be confusing
Ashwicks everybody.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
This one is from Monica and she says her kids
are obsessed with the TV, aren't they all.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I'm still obsessed and I'm in my thirties.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
But when it comes time to turning it off, she
becomes the bad guy and a huge meltdown follows. This
is you just taking snapshot to my life. So she
has started to turn the TV's sleep timer on for
fifteen or thirty minutes and tells the kids that the
TV will turn off when it needs to rest, otherwise
it won't turn on next time. So now when the
(39:26):
TV turns itself off, the kids just accept it that
it's tired. They go about their day, no tantrums. I'm
no longer the bad guy, she says. And they worry
that if they watch it for too long, it'll get
too tired and stop working.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Genius when when I love that, I've got a similar
version to that, but it's with April because she falls
asleep in front of the TV in the bedroom. But
I've set the timer because what happens is she falls
asleep and she doesn't know how the TV turns off,
and I'm just like, oh, I know, I've got the tire.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
How long do you think she lasts in bed watching TV?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
How long did you like, good? Say thank you? Ages?
Oh the time is like forty five minutes or something,
and she's always asleep. She's our car winning there last
night I was like, she is, that's.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Very dad, askue of her love of mine.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
I'm still watching it. She complains that her pillows are
too comfy.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Good problem to have. What's your life?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
My life? So I stumbled across. I stumbled across because
we just had Halloween, which we know that kids get
lollies candy.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
This will come out.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Yeah, this is a week ago, but this is just
really quick. But I saw that everyone sort of like.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Just doing this. Sorry the reference Halloween.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yes, so it's a Halloween, right, A couple of weeks ago,
A couple of weeks ago, we just had it. I
hate it.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Sorry, start fresh, sorry, okay.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Far out as we know. A couple of weeks ago,
we had Hallow one week ago. Shut up, shut your mouth,
Shut your mouth right now, we just had Halloween in
the undisclosed amount of time ago. Is that better? Whn't
I just leave a blank spot? You can add two weeks.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
For people who may not know. We record this a
week in advance.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
I think we've already We're already spilt the beans. We
got the new listeners.
Speaker 5 (41:25):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Okay, so I saw from the other week when we
had Halloween. Does that work for you? Thank you good,
because it works for me. And I saw a video
of a lady going through her kid's handy bucket to
be safe, but I realized she was going through it
to check if there was any poison. But she was
picking out one particular chocolate that was in their kids
(41:53):
basket because she wanted it. That's very good because like,
this one's got poison. This, this one's got poison. This one. Oh,
there's poison in that one.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
It's like the Mars bars.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
It's really poisonous, that one. So that I thought that
was genius, very very good. I tried to implement it.
Too many lollipops in that anyway. That's my last funny.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Just speaking of Halloween, which may have been one or
two weeks ago. I fucking woke up and I was like, oh,
the kids are quiet, chowing down on their chocolate and lollies.
And I was like, you guilty.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Motherfuckers, aren't they. I walk in the room, they're like their.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Father and I was like, what are you guys doing?
And they're like hands behind their back, sitting on their bed.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Oh nothing, The colored tongue gets them.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Every time we're just reading stories, We're where are the books?
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Ah? And I was like, you guys are so dumb.
I actually know. I actually I April actually got in
trouble here because it was so late at like we
were late for bed and late for everything. Already for
some reason I don't know, but she had. She had said,
if you're eating and you can have something out of
(43:06):
your bucket, and I said nope. I said no, no, no, no, no,
no no, because April will toddle off to bed and
I'll get stuck with these fucking kids high on sugar
and makes two of us. And I was like, no, no, tomorrow,
you can tomorrow, at a reasonable time, you can. And
was like April was like, okay, okay. I went through
(43:29):
a shower, I came back and no Oscar came and
said something to me. Tongue was blue, idiot, I said
to April, I was like, you didn't give him any
of their lollies, did you? Like no, I was like,
why is oscars tongue blue? Then genius, it just comes
(43:50):
over and side kicks you shut down anyway, Baja, I
can't wait for the lollibucket to be gone.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Ash, we have two questions. Okay, yes, Ash, these questions.
They've actually been pulled pulled from the Facebook group, which
is just it's a great place to be it really is.
It is never had an angry or upset pair enough
spending time in the Facebook group.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
We spam them. This is from Nali Naylee. Unique name,
isn't it? I never heard that.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
I've never met a Nale nayl.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
Like Nalie namely.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Good to have you here, Nellie. She says baby on
board sign for the car. I don't have one, and
wondering if I should. Some wanting people's thoughts. What's the purpose?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
First of all, do you have a baby that's in
that car? Good point, that's your first, that's my first.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Ques just like, make sure you meet the criteria. Do
you think they like ask for proof when you buy
a baby sign?
Speaker 1 (44:47):
She was a kid, like, that's not yours. That's a dog.
That's a dog. Get out. Do you know why they
have baby signs on car? No? Is it because you've
got a baby in the car? I could be the obvious.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
I always thought it was. I thought it was an arrogance.
I don't know, like a.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Flex I can procreate. Look at me. We had sex.
The person driver this car is someone who has sex.
I'm a sex haer over here. I am one of them.
I have proof. It is actually the only proof you
do have unless you're in porn, and if you're in
(45:29):
porn with kids you've got two types of ideas you
hit that points of id.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I just thought it was like, I don't know. I
thought it was just because you're so proud you've had
a child. You're like, I'm a proud sex and you
want to you want to scream it from the hilltops.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I never thought about that though. I never thought of
that way. I just thought, there's a baby in this car.
But then I also look at it and thinking, what
do you as someone who does just say, someone who
doesn't have a baby in the car sees your car
with a baby on boards on, what's the expectation of me?
Then I, oh, shit, a bit of slow down, I'm
not gonna run that car anymore, don't I might just
ease up a little bit. I'd like, don't tell me
(46:05):
what to do. Started I did think that.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
As well, like should I not drive too close? Or
maybe maybe it's like a learner sign, you know how
you give them a bit of can.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
You use it as part of like telling someone off
on the roads like oh I have a baby, I'm
board That's what I thought. Maybe what is the real reason.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Well I looked at I thought someone told me this reason.
But then I looked it up and it's like, officially
not a reason, but I always thought I think it
was the first aid class that I went to that
people would put the baby on board sign so that
if you're in a crash and the first responders come
over and say there's been like a six car pile up,
(46:43):
and they're like, who do we which car do we
go first? Who do they prioritize?
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah, I've got a counter argument though on that the baby.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
So they're like, oh, baby on board sign, we'll get
this car, We'll save the baby first.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Okay, is that the actual reason someone said that? That's
what someone told me, And I'm going to debunk that
real quick. Go on, And this is why we did
have one. The thing barely sticks to the window. If
it an accident, it's not going to be visible anymore.
It would fall when I put the boot down, so
I just ditched it.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
That's where you're buying your signs from.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
The old classic baby on board sign shop.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
They said you've got to like, you've got to get franchises, man,
you got to get you're buying the budget signs.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Bro, Okay, that's what that's what you get. Yeah, you
don't don't come at me with that because you know
I'm going to come back with you.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
And you can't put a price on safety for your kids.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Bro. Apparently you can. But anyway go They.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Said it's not official because they just look to see
where the babysits are.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
That's apparently, okay, what's the what's the actual.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Well, that's I I before we start this record, I
was like, I'm going to tell you exactly why. But
as soon as we started recording, I looked at it
was like, actually, it's not official.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
So there's no official legalities behind it. There's nothing behind it.
It's all like it's like essentially it's a bumper sticker
saying it's a brag you will right, Oh my god,
all right, Matt's the stable across. Something sounds groundbreaking.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
So apparently this is coming from a paramedic. Apparently they
would assess the situation. They wouldn't prioritize a baby. So
if someone's in like a burning car, like help, and
there's a car that's just like up on the curb
and there's a baby signed, they're not going to go.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
We'll get the baby first. They won't do it.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
They will not one second I'll get the baby first
because they're more important.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Please be quick.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
I'm burning alive right now hopefully yeah, okay, sorry, yeah
baby first?
Speaker 1 (48:34):
That would that would.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
They would give me.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Put yourself out. There's a baby that's unharmed over there.
We need to get that baby out. Sorry forgive me.
They've got much longer to leave anyway.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
So apparently, yeah, whoever needs the medical attention is who
gets it.
Speaker 5 (48:59):
Thank Kevin's no, thank goodness and goodness, the paramedics know
what's going on, and.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Just been like I'm a sex hammer. So you know,
all right, I got a question.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
So maybe maybe it is just the like it's a flex. Well,
whoever fucking came up with this sign, they must be
worth millions.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
It's like those my family stickers, remember those ones? What
are they about? They just they were just Lad's a flex.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
That was a flex.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
But like, why would you want to brag about how
many kids you've got? Yeah, it's like I'm a hot
It's like going to it's going like going to war.
Like if you go like you know, we'll badge.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
If you're going to like active service in like Afghanistan,
you get like a little badge, you know, it's like,
that's essentially what you get. But in family form.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
There's a bunch of veterans out they're going, how I'm
not making comparison between raising a child and going to
like an active war zone. It's pretty similar. Instead of
take the out, instead of shells, it's shit, So it's similar.
I don't want to laugh lest we forget. I have
another question from the Facebook group Believe it or not driving?
(50:11):
It's driving?
Speaker 2 (50:13):
We here four thousand members. Do you remember when we
first launched that Facebook group and we sat on twenty
members for like six months and.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
We're like, should we delete it? Yeah? Goodness, we didn't.
The day one is the day one of the die hards,
as I call them. Where are they now? Reach out?
We want to hear from They're now grandparents? All right?
So this one is around specifically Christmas. Just one's from Crystal.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Hey, Crystal Christal with a K, Christal.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
With a K, John the capital sostal? Who's putting the
who's putting up the Christmas tree? Is it? Is it
time already? Now? Halloween's over? Okay? Do you put the
Christmas tree out now? Or is there a lag time between?
Speaker 8 (50:57):
Now?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
When do you put it up. That's the question. That's
Crystal's question.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Okay, there are two ways of answering this question, Matt
before kids and Matt after kids. Matt before kids would
have said you're crazy if you put the Christmas tree
up outside of December. I thought, like December one, kind
of following the advent calendar. Four weeks before Christmas. You
follow that rule. But now that I'm a parent, okay,
(51:23):
there is no greater reminder to the kids to behave
true then to have the Christmas tree as a signal.
That is just announcing that Sanda is always watching.
Speaker 1 (51:34):
Okay, okay, very bad.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
I think rather than having to say don't forget Christmas
is coming up, the kids in misbehaving, you've got the
Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Up, just point to the tree.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
I'm with you, all right, timmy good, keep that shit up.
You're not getting anything under that tree. They are messy though,
and you're getting a real tree at the plastic one.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Yeah, plastic one. There's little things they fall off.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
There everywhere, what the little ornaments or the leaves.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
The little tiny little green that are fake leaf.
Speaker 2 (52:03):
Then you buy your Christmas tree from the same shop
that you get the baby signs.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
From Yeah, they stick to the back. My tree is disintegrated.
If it was up to me, I would put it
up for Christmas Eve. But I'm coming but stop stop it.
I'm coming from a family we didn't have a Christmas
Yeah I know. Yeah, so I'm bending the rules. If
it was really up to me, if I was going
to be completely honest with you, fuck it off.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
You know, because you need you can use this to
your advantage. My guy.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
Now I'm gonna stick with yelling.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
You can you can use the Christmas tree is like,
it's essentially a security camera for your kids to make
them behave.
Speaker 1 (52:46):
I was gonna say, it's more like an authoritarian figure
in the house in the corner. Yeah yeah. But also
it's like you may as well have Santa Claus. You
just hate putting it up and taking it down because
it always ends up being my fucking problem. I was like,
we're going to do it. I'm like, oh my god,
where means me?
Speaker 2 (53:04):
Don't you do it with the kids?
Speaker 1 (53:06):
They interested in it for about ten seconds and I'm
moving on from this. Yeah, what is the rule?
Speaker 2 (53:11):
We don't know?
Speaker 1 (53:12):
Okay, what's the rule? When do you take it down?
Whoa I have been looking.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
I have been looking at the houses and being like
taking note of who quickly took down the Halloween decorations
and who's still got it.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
Next day I woke up in the houses around the neighborhood.
We'll go who were these freaks?
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Who are the freaks that are taken down decorations the
day after a calendar event?
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Web up? There are is that being stored?
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Is they put in the bin?
Speaker 1 (53:38):
Yeah? Do you store it?
Speaker 2 (53:39):
So many questions?
Speaker 1 (53:40):
I think And I pitched this idea to you last
year because I don't like the set up and put
down a Christmas tree. I would say, a pop up
Christmas tree that's already pre set.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
You can't kind of get like the umbrella ones.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
Yeah, but like I mean like a bit more realistic
than just like oh, sorue you you wrap anything that
you just go that and you pull a tab and
it goes. That's a lovely tree.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
I think they have them, do they?
Speaker 1 (54:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (54:04):
Actually, speaking of Christmas, I know that we're not in December,
but I would like to get into the Christmas spirit
early yay. And by doing that, I want to hear
about your funny disasters of stories about Christmas.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Mine or the listeners.
Speaker 2 (54:21):
Listeners, Okay, I don't want yours.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
I do like a good disaster story.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
So if you have any little nuggets that you want
to get if you're if you have any little nuggets
that you want to get off your chest?
Speaker 1 (54:31):
Oh yeah please?
Speaker 2 (54:31):
They can be anonymous. Yeah, send it in either DMS
or hello at two dotting dads dot com.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Anything awkward too? I like awkward stories.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
Oh yeah, like family like because you don't see Uncle Rick.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
Comes in with his new girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (54:46):
But please send them in.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Ideally, what I would like is uncle Rick comes in
with his new girlfriend who has the same name as
his ex wife. Oh that's the sort of shit I
want to hear.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Please, Ash, Yes, that is that is time. That is
I'm calling time on this episode.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Thank god. If you have enjoyed this episode, you know I.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
Did a poll Ash, this is in life on card.
I did a poll and I said, where do you
find where do you find new podcasts? Guess what the
number one answer was. It was hearing it from a friend.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
Tell your friends.
Speaker 2 (55:22):
Then that is So that leads to my request to
the listeners right now, if you genuinely hand on heart,
Oh my god, I've enjoyed any episode one of the
one hundred and eighty seven episodes of Two Doting Dads.
Tell Someone, Tell anyone, or you.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Could just go on to social media and go to
Two Doting Dads Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and YouTube. I thought
we're going to stop begging.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
But no, because they're laughed. No, I'll stop begging at
the end of the year, up until Christmas.
Speaker 1 (55:58):
Christmas present to me. You'll stop it?
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Yes, and then also, if you enjoyed it, if you
liked it, it's a review, subscribe, subscribe, a couple of comments,
a couple of stars. It's all it takes.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
All right, I'm hungry. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
Okay, we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
Can kind of string this episode out?
Speaker 7 (56:18):
We will see so yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:30):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (56:38):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.