November 25, 2025 • 48 mins
If you’re into ASMR of people eating apples then this episode is for you… Ash has an incredible trick with an apple that accidentally aroused his wife.
He’s also got a new tattoo… and it’s big .. but he maintains it’s not the size that matters ;)
Matt has been lashing out at random strangers again - last week it was a van driver, this week’s it’s a photographer he’s set his anger on but was it is mis-directed this time? Perhaps the festive season is getting to him early.
And speaking of festive - we hear more of your hilarious Christmas fails including the Dad who forgot to pack any presents when the went away Christmas. Let’s just say Santa got lost for some kids that year.
‘Tis the season to let loose, indulge and dive into the holidays, stomach first.
ALDI’s great quality range at affordable prices means you can stretch your pants without stretching your budget. Go on, it’s Christmas. See the full range at aldi.com.au/christmas-at-ALDI
If you need a shoulder to cry on:
Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You did a photo dumb on Sunday?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Are you Internet eighteen photos? And you're not eighteen? My
plan has worked perfectly.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Off you're pretending like you did that on purpose?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I did. I was like, do you know why I
pretended like I did on There's a picture of Laura
in there and not you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Just for once, just take a photo of us.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I got to keep you guessing.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Just take a photo I can give me in the shadows.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I've got a special fold of for you with your
shirt of.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Welcome back to two dating dads.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I am Addie J and I.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
The bad and the relatable.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And one thing is for sure.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
We don't give advice. No, we're talking about parenting. I
wreckon quickly before we get into housekeeping. I have hit
peak level.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Dad, talk to me. There's a couple of things, big breath.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
There's a couple of things.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Sucked the shirt off my back.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yes, there's certain things synonymous with being a dad, and
one of them is the sneeze.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yep ow let me just can I just say I
absolutely love a sneeze. Stop myself from sex, isn't it
if I get.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
A good one, a good couple in a row. Good
if you're if your nasals swollen afterwards, that is a
fucking good sneeze. Anyway, let me set the scene. This morning.
It was today, and I was like, I wasn't expecting
this today. I wasn't expecting a sneeze. But I'm out
(01:54):
Stick with me. I'm out on the balcony hanging the
washing out. What a guy seven am this morning? And
it came at me hard and fast.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Sometimes it's good.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
And it was so loud and so click. The neighborhood
dogs started to bark, and I at first I thought
it was like they all set each other off off
the back of the You know when one dog barks
in your neighborhood and my dog's in there inside looking
at me, going, that's my fucking job. What do you
(02:31):
think you're Literally they went off, and April wasn't home,
She's already on the way to work, and I just
had no one to gloat to. So I've been holding
that in all day. And it's what two o'clock in
the afternoon, and I've been holding that to brag to
you about my elite level dad in Carl, I was like, really,
that's the next goal, that's the next level.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I'm jealous, thank you, you'll get there. I actually want
to sneeze right now.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I don't have.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I wish I could. I wish I could, just like
on demand.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
It's and it just echoed through the neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Oh it was absolutely And the neighbors are like, fucking hell.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, They're like, how old is that guy? He's thirty,
he's so advanced. Wow, my nose hasn't even gotten big
like an old man yet, you know how get bigger
getting there? Shut up, I'm housekeeping ash, Yes, what do
we got?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Poppy? Poppy loves being in the carrier, absolutely loves it.
Not huge, doesn't like the prem at the moment, doesn't
really like going in the only at nighttime, the little
side bassin.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I want to be rested up against breast as well.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Man. Yeah, don't we all sometimes wis She's with me.
She's like a seconds here, so bony, spiky shaved hair.
Loves it in the carrier. And at the moment, I'm
just clocking up miles, dude, I'm just my step count
is through the roof. I put stories up.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
The other day.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Oh yeah, yeah, the most I've HiT's like fifteen and
a half thousand steps in a day.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Just being around the house, just like.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Literally just up and down, pacing dude up and down
this hallway, up the stairs, down the stairs. She just
loves a little bit.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Of a nose, like squats.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I haven't got onto the squats just yet.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
My quads were massive, when I was like, is that
how you got them so big? That's at the pistons. Yeah,
you should make these babies. Put kids to sleep well.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I put a call out and said, is anyone hitting
like twenty thousand a day? And we do have someone here,
Sarah Facebook group twenty thousand a day, Rebecca twenty six thousand.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
What what's the high step? Can't you reckon? You've had
him one day?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I don't know. I'd love to find out. I was
a little bit a little bit disheartened when all the
like the professionals started coming out and being like their
amateur numbers.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, when I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Working a twelve hour shift saving lives in a hospital
wards son, I was like, they're the true heroes, your
highest What do you any real doctors reach out about
the not yet now the rural doctor is very quiet, actually,
rural doctors working on a farm. They'd be hit like
fifty thousand.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Now they'd be like, patients, come to me.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Shout out to all the rural medical staff of this country.
Backbone of this the heroes slash slash bets.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
They're the same thing, same thing, same qualification, your high
step out. I used to work in a factory another job.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Of course you fucking did.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, and it was it was a really dated way
of doing things they did.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
What were you housing in the wear.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Fh surfboard fins? Sure, mate, I would be thirty five
thousand steps a day, five days a week.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Is that when you with jacked? Was that your incidental cardio?
We are you quite skinny?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Nah? That was the peak of my alcoholism, trying to
walk it off every day. No, it was in the
middle of COVID.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I don't know if we should like have a moment
about reflecting.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
On my peak alcoholism. Yeah, I'm actually twenty one. No,
it was during COVID, in between real jobs. Best job
I ever had other than this one, of course safe
but yeah. I used to go up and back, up
and back all day and it was like we get
(06:07):
home and I was wrecked and then I really were,
but I wasn't counting, that wasn't actively counting them. But
it was like check your heart thing on your phone,
you know that heart app. And I was like shit.
After five days, I was like I don't even know
the mask for the marathon. Literally, I was like, no,
when I'm going to bed at like five thirty in
the afternoon, you.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Can't put the fact that you're like bounce your kids
around to growing your pistons. It was the FCS warehouse
that was the foundation of the pistols.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
No, that was after Oscar, but before Macy. I wouldn't
have been able to do those steps without Oscar. So
I would like to thank my child. Yeah, sleepless nights
and massive what do what.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Do you go at the moment?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Cordzilla?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
What do you go at the moment? What's your step count?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Today? And I've been sitting in this chair since I
got here yesterday. Where you at yesterday? You reckond not march.
I'm going to be honest that a little looxie steps Fella,
what was yesterday six thousand, eight thousand?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Pathetic?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, it's pretty bad. Do you know what's the least
amount of I know that too, go on I was
in Santorini. Fifty steps not even kidding. That is not
even a joke. I could if I could go back
in time, surely I could find that.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
That must have been one hell of a hangover.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
What may it was? The steps were from the bed
to the pool back to the bed. That's it. Wow, Wow, Brow, You're.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Amount of extremes. I know I've got a note here.
You said put this in there. Is it a party
or not?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes, okay, I do have something to run by you.
It's about birthday parties. Okay, kid's birthday parties in particular.
I'm quite new to the kids' birthday party game, as
we know on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Yeah, for anyone who's joining us recently, Ash would hijack
other kids' birthday parties. He would like bolt on his
kids to that birthday party, which meant he didn't have
to organize anything.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
It was the best, especially when I could get their
name in this.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
It's all like a virus of the kid's birthday world.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Oh yeah, I like.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Lock on to a host birthday.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I'm thinking about just having more kids so I could
do it again. Because it was it was a thrill,
That's what it was. I felt like I was can't
be illegal? Is it trespassing? Well there was a bit
of a debate, okay, and obviously it was Macy's birthday
last week?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
What? Yeah? What do you know that you knew that?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Did I?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Well, I know your kid's birthday? Do you think you
know mine birthday last week? Yeah? Four years old?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
She did you post about it?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yes? Sorry, don't even apologize. I I'm used to being
this disappointed. No, anyway, that's not the point. That's not
the point, because she'll have another birthday next year and
you can make up for it. Then you'll forget. So
it's like, what do you do? What do you do
for your kids? Do you have a party or do
you not have a party? And the problem here was
(08:54):
I gave Macy the options, which is do you want
to have a little party or do you want to
do something like go to the zoo or whatever. But
that's not the problem. The problem is how you communicate
that to your to their friend's parents. So this is
where the confusion comes in. Okay, Now I said to
(09:14):
my friends who are who have kids, We're going to
go to the zoo. Okay for Macy's birthday? Would you
like to come along. That's not a party.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's a birthday party.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
No, it's not. This is a birthday party. Hey, Macy's
having a party. Here.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Come.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
You're invited to a party.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Purely based on the fact that it is around her birthday. Automatically,
by default, it then qualifies as a birthday because it's
an activity outside of the house.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Okay, but let me ask you this. Right if I
say I don't use the word party, so that doesn't
go to no, no, no, no, no, you're missing the point here.
So Oscar doesn't go to school with me, because you
know what, this is what happened right for another party,
which wasn't a party. It was where going to this place?
It just happens to be around the time. If everyone
(10:05):
wants to come, they can. If not, it's fine, we understand.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Did you have a set time?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, no set time.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
So what you just said, like I'll be at the zoo,
come find any of the gorillas.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
No, we just we just said to select people, this
is we're gonna do this.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
You surely must have said we'll be there at ten o'clock.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Oh yeah, the time was you to me? No, it
was like where on the way boom, that was it?
Where on the way, don't remember getting that text anyway?
You're away? I think you were somewhere anyway. But this
is my this is my this is my problem, right
because there's a couple of different options with kids parties.
The drop and go, yeah, okay, the non drop and go.
(10:44):
Who pays for it?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
That's a big question.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
This is where I'm at, right, the who pays for
it question? Yes, you in the pink.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What's the ticket to the zoo cost fifty bucks something
like that? Yeah, okay, that's a lot, right, Yeah, okay,
you were trying to not put it under the banner
of a party so you didn't have to pay for it.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
No, no, no, no, Mine was fine. It was another one,
another incident from another parent.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Well, were they like, as gonna try and you're gonna
get these tickets or so?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
What happened was right, they said, Hey, to the friend group,
we're going to be doing this for Ex's birthday. Yep, okay,
if anyone wants to come, you are more than welcome
to join us. That's it. But what happened was, and
this is my point, the kids got hold of this
all of a sudden. They're at school talking about this
person's party, which in their class. Obviously all these kids
(11:38):
weren't invited because it was just a monkst It's not
a party, right, So what happened was the kids are
talking about parties and now kids and parents are upset
because their kid wasn't invited, when originally it was just
the friend group that was told what they're doing for
(11:59):
the day and if they were would love to join,
they are more than welcome. It's an invite to a hangout.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Do you think I may just retract my earliest statement.
Do you think to qualify for a party it needs
to have two key ingredients a birthday cake and a
party bag.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
And an invite, an actual invite?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Will I will question the invite that's not essential the
kid the kids. It's the kids that fucking snitch and
get you into trouble.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This is what's what happened, right, And it got kind
of got back to people like for example, the zoo
okay was not going to be paid for by the
parents of the kid because it was just we're going
if you want to come. But that caused the problem
because the kids were calling it a party.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So that has been leave you don't use that tep
in front of me.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
This is what I'm saying to the parents of the
world out there, don't use the P word because you're
going to get us all in trouble. So now after
the fat the poor kids going back to school, to
other people going you had a party? Do you not
like me? And then the parents been like, who's paying
for this? And then also, if I'm paying for a party,
(13:15):
it's not a drop and go situation because I've fit
the bill. If you're paying for the ticket for your
kid to come, that's a drop and go because you've
paid for the service of me watching your kids.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
That's up for debate. That's a minefield for people who
don't yet have kids and maybe listening. This is the
type of dilemma that keeps us up at nighttime. This
is this is the kind of stuff you've got to try.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And take it. It needs to be a rule book, a.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Rule book, emmanual somewhere.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
There has to be something, because I feel that everyone
who has small kids, they yap, all right.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
They talk a lot.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
They yap because they kept talking about someone's party, someone's party,
and I'm like, it wasn't a body telling the other kid.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
But what is important to remember, though, is that I
wish Macie a very happy belated birth.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I'll let her know because you are her favorite.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
I wish I knew that story was going to be
as long as well.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Sorry, sorry I was.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I argue, no, no, it's great, it's great. I just
like I've just I've been thrown out of housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Are we out of it?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Thanks? So? But we're back in because just really quickly,
you told me you got a horse tattoo. I did.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, it's a horse's cock. No, is it on your back? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I want to see the horse tattoo. Fucking massive horse.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
So it was going to be I turned up.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
On the mic, big guy, come on.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Sorry sorry. I turned up to my tattoo appointment, and
I'm very much like there's a lot of trust there
with him. I've been going to him for like eight years,
and I'm like, whatever you do, man. And I got
there and he was like, this is what I've got
planned my pony. It was three horses my whole lower back.
(14:57):
And I was like, I don't know about that. I
was like, I'm not prepared for that. I love it,
but I'm not prepared. I love the energy, but I
am not prepared to sit through that agonizing pain. How
about we get with one horse.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Three black stallions.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
It was I'm saying, the bottom of that eagle to
my butt crack with wreath around it. It was a beautiful,
beautiful drawing beautiful, but it was it wasn't It was
too big, so we went with a small horse.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
But anyway, it looks beautiful.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Thank you. It's just the outline.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Just really quickly. We mentioned there was a seal show
that you went to at the zoo. Stephen Seelberg produced it.
Because it was very dramatized. There was a mode of
music that was like the betting track for this scene.
I don't have the name, and I'm so sorry if
you submitted this, I screenshot it, and I screenshot out
your name says I used to be a marine keeper
at Taronga, and this is gold. I've told my mates
(15:53):
about your request for a future seal name. Also, yes,
to build a home makes us all depressed. That was
the song that was playing. Unsurprisingly, some guy from Nider. Now,
if anyone doesn't know what Nier is, it's like the
most esteemed college university to study acting in Australia. They
came someone came from nider and they helped direct the
(16:15):
whole thing. Years ago. He was dot dot dot interesting anyway,
point being, you guys are hilarious. Thank you was the
semi marine keeper friend and hopefully one day we'll proudly
be able to claim naming rights.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
If there is not, there needs to be a seal
at Taronga Zoo called STEVENS. Silberg just saying, ah, very good, Matt.
You know me and I'm a stickler for breaking news.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
We love it.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And for social media stats.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Now, oh my god, you send like twelve a day
to me at the moment and I love it. It's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
My algo is just nothing but status.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Know that we anyway, what you got that?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I don't know what you are?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
What's your stat of the week?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Now? There has been an extensive study okay, using heated
cart seats is likely to raise scrotal temperature, which may
contribute to lower sperm quality or fertility risk. Wow, okay,
I would like to know one thing, Yep, how did
they conduct that?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
It's it's wild, isn't it. How did they who was
getting the funding for this type of research? Okay, but
it's very important. I feel like it's more of a
like it doesn't get cold enough. I've never once used
heated car seats.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Delightful.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Well yeah, but now it doesn't doesn't matter to me.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Now you had to persect me.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Absolutely, But for any expecting fathers trying to be a father,
trying to start a family, lay off the car seat heater.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
But but this is the thing right to me? Does
cold not do the same thing?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
But I thought warming up the testicles would have been beneficial.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, you warm up before sport? Yeah, I thought cold
just in there, we're do beat test forug get out there.
I thought it was fitting for it's a parenting podcast.
If you knew that, what else you got for me?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Okay? I I had I had something really odd. Experienced
the beach. Hard to describe what it felt like. But
on Thursday recently, beautiful day, sun was out, weather, it
was warm. I'm with Lola, get down to the beach
and in Bondi in the north end there's a little
(18:36):
Kiddi's pool.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm familiar.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
It's concrete pool. It's like at its deepest, it's like
knee deep. It's a good one for the kids. Also
it's all concrete, so Lola hates sand. She loves it.
I'm hanging out with Lola. We're having a great time
on a Thursday. It's not too busy on a Thursday
as well. I had my shirt off. I had the
shirt of but you know, weekends heaving shoulder and shoulder. Thursday,
(19:01):
the crowds are light on and I'm playing with Lola
and I'm kind of throwing it in the air and
we're having a great time. And I noticed as a
guy standing at one end of the kiddie pool and
he's got this camera, pretty solid looking camera, like he
knows what he's doing, like he's like a photographer. Well
said thank you, and I kind of look over in
(19:22):
the corner of my eye and he's pointing the camera
towards us, and I was like, ah, it's kind of weird,
and didn't I thought maybe hate you. Maybe it's just like,
you know, I don't know, he's taking photos or something,
some graffiti there, maybe he's taking photos of that. But
you know, tried not to.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Were you in a budget smuggler? Man? I was in
my budget photo.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
But then then I was like, you know, playing with
Lola again, and I was throwing her up in the air,
and then as I kind of threw up in the
air like he just likes. And I look over and
again he's pointing the camera towards us, and I was like, nah,
fuck this, like this is not on.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You can't it's a and you have been aggressive lately.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
And he doesn't have any kid, and not if there's
anything wrong with people being in the Kidi Pool area
with no kids, but I just thought it was a
little bit strange that he's standing there, an older man,
much older, no child, big camera in hand, taking photos
pointing it at my child. Yeah, And I was like, nah,
so walk over. I'm like, mate, what do you think
(20:26):
you're doing? And he goes, what do you mean? And
I was like, you can't be taking photos of the
kids in here, and he's like, well, I wasn't. And
I was like, I saw your pointing the camera. Okay,
he took photo. He goes, no, I didn't look turn
his camera around. He put it on kind of like
you can see what he took a photo of. Now,
I'm not a photographer myself, but I know how to
(20:46):
handle a camera. So he showed me the screen to
show that it was a photo of like the sky
at the horizon, and I grabbed his camera and I
scrolled through the photos looking for the evidence. Gosh, no,
it's all just photos of the sky the horizon.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
And how did you There's nothing this one, nothing of
my daughter.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
And I was thinking to myself, I've caught a pedophile.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
And he wasn't even hiding him. He's got if he's
got a tiny camera and he's like like you know
in those old spy movies and they're like of the documents.
He's like.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
I thought I was. I was about to like myself,
I could I can claim that I've removed a dangerous
pedophile from the kiddie.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Pool area, hidden in plain sight.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
But he was just taking photos.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Of the how many people have you confronted of late?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
A couple easier. I'm becoming protective back at up a
little and I was like, lo, we gotta get out
of here. And she's like, what do you mean? Like
we're gone on the beach. She's like, why this is
fun here? I was like, we gotta go.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Oh man, I can see the confusion there. But when
you were like, he's got a big camera, ande he's
taking photos directly.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
He looks suspect. He's not even trying to hide it.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's like usually that's like it was a brazen pedophile.
They try and hide it, and it's like, do you
know what, maybe if I make it so obvious, I
will be hiding it anyway. Anyway, No good on you.
For first of.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
All, anyone wondering the kiddy pool is a safe area.
The kiddie pool is safe.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
It's kind of sexy that you attacked him like that.
Don't encourage me talking about sexy. I have accidentally aroused
my wife. Go on, and I never knew this was
going to happen. Let me sit scened on this one.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Can I just say you and April have a very
healthy sex life currently don't.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Jin said sorry, so thank you, but it continues. This
one's a bit of a weird one. Actually, we're in
the car, all of us, mom, dad, me being dad,
Mum being April, and then my two kids, and we
had one apple, a whole apple in the half and
Oscar said can I have the apple please? And makes
(23:04):
You said can I have the apple please? Now the
problem here is there's one apple. Matt, thank you so
well aware what I did whilst I was. I was
behind the wheel, but we were pulled over to the side.
No knife to cut this apple in half. I ripped
the apple into two. Oh wow, right in front of
(23:25):
my wife, just a display of like pure strength. And
she let out a, oh, I have an apple.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I was going to ask, but I didn't want to
put you on the spot.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I'm going to say it could have been a fluke
because I haven't tried this since I don't know. I'm
sweaty now. You made me nervous.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Okay, what's your technique technique? Because like you've just Oh my.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
God, whoa, I've done it?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Wow, just like that. Wow. I didn't think you're going
to do it. Who taught you this? No one?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I just went for it.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
It's very good, is it? Did you make that much
mess in the car?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
It was a clean snap and it was so perfect
that she let out this noise I haven't heard of.
Was like, and like, what did Macie say? They were
very impressed.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
It's the equivalent of killing a bear with your hands
and nothing else.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
That's what I did. Anyway. I was shocked that it
got to go on. Actually, I'm not shocked at all.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Really, my fingers I don't think I could do I.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Strictly only get apples out now like that at home,
kids like, can I have an apple?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
I'm like, I reckon, you could do it with the
pumpkin as well.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I reckon, we should figure out what I can't.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Use knives anymore. You're just in the kitchen ripping things
in half with your hands.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh yeah, finger strength. She's a lucky.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
I just thought I let you know that.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
All right. Well, look, in contrast to that incredible display
of masculinity, I've had a moment where I never felt
more emasculated than used.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
A lot of energy. And you need to refuel. Bring
in the rest of the apple.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I go to your house and your bedroom is just
like apple cores scattered all over the floor. A very
simple task has really gotten me.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Oh gods.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
You know, we had the fridge. The fridge that we
used to have in this house was one that like
extra hundred bucks. The guy said, hey, extra un barks,
the fridge is yours. You can keep it, very very
old fridge. And after being in this house for a
couple of years, that fridge in particular has finally carved it.
I noticed. So we got a new fridge, and Laura
gave me one strict instruction for that fridge because she
(25:56):
loves chilled water, and she goes, whatever fridge you it
has to have a connection point for a water dispenser.
And I was like, cool, got it. Got the fridge
very hard as well to find a fridge that fits
within the I see you looking over there.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
It's one of life's things where you like, I wanted
new fridge. Got to make sure it fits in this
hole in my house.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
You don't want it to be too small in the
fridge cavity. Anyway, I finally found one that was like
close enough, had a water dispenser, and I was like Laura.
And also because she's breastfeeding, she loves whenever she breastfeeds
the last yeah, they get very tisty. She loves the
cold water. Loves the cold water.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Maybe she should see me crack an apple. Good things.
She's not here when I did that.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
And also she requested that it have a nice dispenser,
just very strict criteria. So I finally get the fridge.
I order it. It's on back order. It's like Laura,
I got two weeks to wait for the fridge. The
fridge arrives set up as included in the delivery. Love
that and the guy goes your hose point it doesn't connect. God,
(26:59):
he was like, this is this is the connection point
and it's too small for I don't know the terms.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
That's what she said. Matt's holding up a golden attachment
that looks like the end of it.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Don't make me sound rich. Matt's holding a diamond encrusted
it's it's made out of seafood.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Marnara.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
This is the old one. Oh yeah, old connection point
for the water tap. This one's silver, right, that's the size,
that's the diameter. As the poor.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Person, it's too small, I see.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah. He goes go to Bunnings asking for that one.
There the gold little head in the larger size of
the old one that connected up. Because if you imagine,
like you know, where you connect the hose to like
the tap outside, that's essentially what I'm trying to do,
connect up a water tap. Okay, yeah, I'm just this
(27:52):
is how much I'm shrugging to describe. And this is
this is someone who's been talking about this and learning
about this for a couple of weeks. Now, go to Bunnings.
The guys like, what the fuck are you talking about?
And I was like, I me have this and this.
I'm like okay, man, and he's like, what are you
(28:12):
talking about? I fucking have no idea. And I was like,
help me. And he's like I overgoing to Aisle sixteen
and trying to figure it out, and I'm like, fuck,
go there. I can't find it. So I go to
a plumbing store. It's like called Plumbing Coad's all the
plumbers go.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
They should know.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I go there, Okay, they sell nothing but plumbing gear,
all right, And I go in there with my two
little bits.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
When you were walking in, they were like, here we go.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
And then Laura is also like, I'm so fasty that's
been tricking nothing but it's awful. Just clean water, room temperature, please.
And I was like, don't worry, honey, Tomorrow, I'm gonna
go the plumbing store. I'm gonna sort this out. I
go in there. No one's in the store, which is great.
I go to the guy behind the desk and I'm like,
hey man, I've got a problem. I'm trying to connect
this guy into this guy and he's like, what format
(29:01):
was for the fridge? For the water dispensing. He's okay,
and then as I'm trying to explain, a plumber comes
in behind me, steel cap boots, khaki shorts, covered in dirt,
and I'm like, look, give him my shoulder and I'm like, fuck,
it's embarrassing someone I've got. And he's like, oh, you've
you've got. You're trying to find a nip for the
for the threadhead and I was like, oh fuck, oh
(29:22):
my god.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
They're like, they're like, you're trying to find the black
and white paint. A long wait.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
So then he gave me this. Oh well, gave me
the nip head.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Okay, all right, now we're talking.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Okay, okay, you know the same size?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Fucking hell though, mate, will.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
That not go in? Now?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Well, think about these heads, Okay, these brass connectors. You
need to have a rubber ring, an oh ring.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
To make it seal it up. Take it one out
of there.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It doesn't come out. You can't. Metal on metal doesn't
make a seal. So I I connected up, water goes everywhere.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Laura is like, you actually did it and it didn't work.
There's no seal, no o ring.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
So I've been watching videos about fucking O rings now,
and I've got to go back to the plumbing store.
I've been back there three times.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
The saga, this is a saga. Here's a look here.
I tell you right now, you could get an O
ring for that pretty quickly, you know I can. Is
this a handyman podcast? It's like help Matt out everything.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It's like, I've got to go back.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
In there and tail between your legs.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
But I now, I've been watching videos and O rings
and also plumber's tape as well. I'm pretty much a plumber.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
You are not far off it. Let's upset the plumb
as well. We're at it. You're not far off being
a plumber. They should have and I'm going to throw
them under the bus a little bit here.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
He should have given me the O ring and the
plumber's tape.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
They should have he's not listening. You better go in
before this comes out.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Like why he fucking set me up?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, he set me up.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
He sold me this.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
They know what they're doing on me.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
The brass connecting nip.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
We used to mess with people all the time when
they come into the timberyard asking technical questions. That's what
they've done here. They've messed with you.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
He was also just he knew what I wanted, and
he was like, I don't know what you mean.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
They're messing with you.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
He's fucking with me. Absolutely, he played me like a fiddle.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
So did you just give up and buy a water jug?
Because I saw.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Went came, I got a water jug and off I
was like, why I've been trying to fix this for
two weeks.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Now, that's taken way too long.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I'd slept properly at night, and I'm tossing and turning.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
A bit about the ring. What you should do is
buy a pack of O rings. Then you'll always have them.
Think about that the next fridge or next plumbing problem.
You're like, don't worry, BABEA is.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Like, what are you watching? Fucking watching an instructional video
on O rings and how they make a direct seal
when connecting water systems.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Fuck, what's your algorithm? Like? Now?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Weird? Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Do you wouldn't need me to go over there with
an apple and show you how strong we are?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Please?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Yeah, we come as.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
A package tale.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
This is how strong we are.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Bloody trades making us regular dads feel like we're pathetic.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I always think they're better than us. It's time for
a festive segment.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
That's right, Christmas Fails.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Now.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Each week we ask the good listeners of this podcast,
the Dodors, to send in their worst, most memorable Christmas fails.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
And it's all thanks to Aldi.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Yeah, what's this guy here? By the way, what are
the little shortbreads?
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Have one go on? It's Christmas? Aldi? Good different?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Now shall we bloody delicious?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
You can start with this top one here that looks good.
I'm going to have one while you're reading this. I'm
going one with the chocolate feet.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
They are good, They're unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Are they different? Good? Different? Some would say, shut up.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
This is from Abby, and she says, my family and
I used to go away six hours up the North
coast with another family at Christmas every time of the year.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Lovely, that is nice. That's a little tradition. That's what
that is.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I'd call it.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Wait for it to fail.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
My dad had the task of packing the Christmas presents
for us to open on Christmas Day. Okay, see where
this is going. Christmas morning rolls around, my brothers and
I see the other kids open their presents dot dot dot,
Oh none for us.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Sad music.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
My god, Dad forgot, didn't he?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Oh dad?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Mom told us that Santah couldn't find where we were staying,
so left them at home for us. Very nice, save Mom.
A few years later, my parents divorce. I I'm sorry,
Oh my god, don't tell me the reason was. Don't
tell me. The reason was she never got over the
(34:09):
Christmas that was not.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh my god, my face is hot. Both I both
feel sorry for them, and then the divorce really.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Made oh my god, that really hit me. And so
the parents got a divorce and the truth came out
and we never went away for Christmas ever again.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
That we did ask for that sort of staff.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
It's great that we can laugh about the trauma. But
I hope that Abby's laughing.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
She'd be laughing.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I hope you didn't send that with tears in her eyes.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
And the sad music still playing, and we're like, ah, wow,
that's a classic man move. That one I reckon. All right, man,
I've got one for you please. This one's from Shannon.
Thank you Shannon. When we first moved into our new house,
my husband was beyond excited to see how festive the
neighborhood was getting. In October Wow, Okay, we'll say it's
(35:05):
late October keen to join in on the fun. We
headed straight to the hardware store and came home with
an entire kit and kaboodle lights, decorations, the works.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Love that.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
A few days later we proudly switched everything on, flashing
gingerbread man with waving arms and all, only to realize
the rest of the neighborhood wasn't celebrating Christmas at all.
They were celebrating Duwali, the Indian festival of lights. So
(35:36):
while everyone else had elegant strings of gold lights, we
had our over the top Christmas display twinkling away front
and center. To this day, I still give him grief
about our Dwali gingerbread extravaganza. Now I have just a
follow up from that, really quickly from Shannon. She messaged me,
(35:59):
which is a great story, and she went on to
say he's going to kill me if this gets on
the podcast. His name is Jay. Make sure you say
his actual name, Jay. She said, this is going back
a few years ago, but I've never let him forget it.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Good on you, Jay for having a crack at it
from holiday, I mean October.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
He's like Wow, this neighborhood, they're keen. It's from I
Come on.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
What's he gonna do? But honkah, all.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Right, this one. It's anonymous awkward Christmas story for you.
Thank you very much, he says, here, please keep anonymous.
Christmas got awkward with my recently divorced uncle.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Oh god, it's always the uncle. If his name's Alan Rickman, imagine.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Being the uncle and being like, fuck, now I'm divorced,
and now I've got to become an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
And go to Christmas and be creepy.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It's just part of it. So the recently divorced uncle
came to Christmas with his new girlfriend. Oh god, who
was brother's ex wife? Is this Jerry Springer?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Actually ended up getting married and made every Christmas gathering
so awkward. So my cousin's uncle is now his stepdad
and his mom is also his auntie. Oh my god.
If only there were cameras to capture everyone's face that day.
There are millions of people in this world. Why pick
(37:42):
a relative's ex partner to be your new.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Partner and take him to Christmas? Oh god, I just
off the back of that real quick. We had an
awkward not similar situation, but a situation kind of like that.
That's just jogged my memory. My auntie, she will remain nameless.
She brought her new boyfriend to Christmas once and he
was a bikey full blind and what happened was they
(38:09):
turned up on the motorbike. No, pretty much looked like
Danny and Sandy from Greece. But he's covered in tats,
missing a few teeth, and it was just like.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
It's Christmas, we don't discriminate. Everyone's welcome.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
He was a statement piece. Anyway, he got really pissed,
try to fight you fell asleep on the couch. And
that was that.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
And that's why I love Christmas because it brings people together.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
It just brings everyone together.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
A huge thanks to those three stunning stories. Also thanks
to Aldi for making this segment possible. Remember Ash, go on,
it's Christmas, treat yourself, have another bikie.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Thank you Audi. Good different And if you've got an
awkward uncle recently divorced, divorced, we want to hear from you. No,
you've got any Christmas fails, chaos, fails, drama. This one
a lot of drama in this a little bit.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Of Christmas drama. I love a bit of gossip Christmas
any affairs, Senator.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Yeah, you can email us, you can DMUs, you do
whatever you like at two Doting Dad's Instagram, TikTok wherever,
or hello at two Doting dads dot com.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
I can't wait for what we get next week.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I know they're getting better.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Ash. We have a couple of questions here, and this
is one, which is it's been sitting in the comment
section of a video that I posted a couple of
weeks ago. It was when I had the letter from
Marley and I referred to Marley as being my best friend.
Now a lady has written on that video that you
cannot be best friends with your child.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Well that's going to upset my child, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (39:42):
And I thought to myself, Hang on a second, is
it a case of I'm not actually best friends with
my children? And I think I am. I'm just throwing
that term out like it's willy nilly.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Is it for them or is it for you?
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Though that term I would say, I like. I genuinely
I thought about it, and I honestly believe two things. Firstly,
I think I am best friends with my children. I
hang out with them more than anybody else in this world.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Somewhat offended.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
But okay, yep, well I didn't even get invited to
your bloody non party zoo trips, so you forgot. Since
that happened, you've been off the best friend.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
List for the last forty minutes.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
And I do think you can be best friends with
someone and still pull them into line and discipline them,
even though there is.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Like a you do pull me into line and discipline
me all the time?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Right, Yeah? Because I love you?
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Look, I agree with I love you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I love you too. I do agree with you beg
for it. Yeah, I wanted to do the same more
than once. That's why you're like the fucking plum guy.
What are you trying to say? What are you trying
to say? You love me?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I'm not sure this guy.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I would say that. We always say in my house
that we're all best friends. Why not?
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I love that?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Kids love that. Are they trying to say, and I'm
trying to dissect this here. Are they trying to say
you can't be best friends? Because how can you be
a disciplinary figure and also be a best friend? And
I think that I think it's a fair argument to
have that, but there has got to be an outcoming.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Is it isn't? There are many times when I'm playing
with my kids where it's a sharp change of gears.
My girls love to wrestle, they love it, but every
now and then they'll like kick me in the head
and I've got to quickly go take you back. Listen,
we don't kick each other, and you have to like quickly.
You're the disciplinarian, you be that figure. Then you go
back into playing. And it's the role of the parent
(41:33):
that I think you can be. In one breath, you're
telling them how to behave, and the next you're on
their level playing with them.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Friends fired, right, But also let's say this. If your
kid asks you, daddy, am I your best friend? No
one on earth is saying no.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I hope not.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
You would mate, I tell you right now.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
We're very close, billy, but I wouldn't say best friends. Yeah,
you are right. I wouldn't go that far.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Look, your mother says you're all right, so I guess
we'll blame whatever he desperate.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
But like this guy, why are you so needy, Susan?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
This guy whose four year old fucking lose off?
Speaker 2 (42:11):
But that's what I mean like that comment is real simple. Okay.
So if you were to take that comment as gospel right,
and you went and go, okay, I'm going to put
that into practice, and then you go to Marley and go,
guess what, Marley, You're not my best friend? How do
you think that would make Marley feel? That's not right?
Speaker 1 (42:29):
And even can I just say one thing, Let's say
Heaven forbid that we're wrong.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Let's let's just allow people to live that dream.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
If you want to be best friends with your kid,
go for.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
People are saying I'm best friends with my kid. In
what world does saying well, not, that's not true because
technically you're not actually best friends because of this reason.
How is that going to benefit anyone?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
If you honestly believe that Marley is better friend and
the answer to this question is that she's your best.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Friend, there is there is br Wicks very very good,
very simple, very good, very simple to thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
I have a question for you, Matt, But it does
come with a warning for the parents who are listening
to this right now, happy to be in the car
with their children.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Were there are many parents who do listen to do
doting dads with the kids in the car.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
That level is swearing. Whoops, sorry about that.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
You're all my best friends. We are talking about the
man in red real quick, so turn it down, come
back to it later or if whatever. Anyway, good flag,
Thank you. This is from Hayley from the Facebook group,
which is thriving.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I would say it's overgrowing.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
We're gonna have to call some Does Santa buy the
big presence? He doesn't really buy anything. Does Santa buy
the big presence for your kids and you get all
the other little ones or vice versa. And just as
an example here Amy also in the Facebook group. Well,
she would have to be to see it and respond
(44:03):
to it. We don't let Santa take the credit for
the big expensive stuff.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, that's a good question. This is the first year
I'm gonna have to pay really close attention to writing
on the little cards on gift saying who's it from?
Is it from Nana? Is it from Mom? Is it
from Dad? Is it from Santa? Because Marley is a
bit like she's asking for things and she's like, but
I'm asking for someone that's in the store, So obviously
that wasn't made by the elves and Santa, right, they
(44:29):
make a life for like that's sometimes I've said that
they can replicate. They replicate what's in the toy store.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
The trademark issues, but they replicate.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
But I'm not sure. I don't have the answer to
this question. How do you do it?
Speaker 2 (44:40):
I group it all in with Santa, really, because my
kids don't respect me all my money. Man. I had
that loaded up real quick, didn't I. Anyway, Yeah, I look,
I always say if I really want to find out
what they want to. Like yesterday I said to Oscar,
(45:01):
I was like, hey, big guy, if Santa was to
get you hypothetically, hypothetically and I can't guarantee it an
adjustable basketball hoop so that we could play.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Would you be into this?
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Would you be into that? And if it came a
little bit early, because I want to get on get
on with it now.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
And he was a basketball let's play.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yeah, he's already been No, he was like, he was like, oh,
you ask him real nasales. I want one of those.
So I'm just sticking with the overarch. The over arch
that he there's no I'm getting little stuff because I
get him stuff all the time I got him leg
op yesterday and it's like, well if if I can
just say it's the one guy, and it just avoids
(45:46):
any confusion because if he's like who gave it to me?
I'm like, what does it sound? The card? He's like Santa,
but it's in your handwriting, like he's.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Good, very bloody good kid. Well, Marley's even starting to
question the sounds that are dressed up, like.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Is that yeah?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
That? Do you know?
Speaker 1 (46:02):
There's the telstra you can call Santa? Yeah? Yeah, and
obviously all Ai and it's the same message. She's like,
I want to call him again, and she's like, that's
so weird. We just had the exact same conversation that
we just had before, and I'm like, we let's get there.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
We should go to a different phnes. This was playing enough,
and I've said it before with this whole sound, little
bit of apple coming up, that was an apple bird.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
It was delightful looking to the right, there's like twelve
discarded apples that are going brown. What does Ash want?
Just apples?
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Just bits of apples handwrittened. What I will say about
the whole Big Man in Red is that I don't
like the encouragement of a breaking enter. It's like a
reverse breaking enter because he's breaking in to give you
give your ship. It's very confused, so they're going to
be real confused when someone actually breaks and enters and
takes something.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
But if people feel strongly please jump in the Facebook
group give us your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yeah, Ash, we better get out of it.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Brown, you know what that means. It's done to go
eat it.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
If you've enjoyed this episode, please send it to a
friend anyone out there. You know, we we honestly love
getting new listeners and we think people would find it
funny if you would also give us a review, a
few comments, a couple of stars, Spotify or app a podcast,
that'd be great. Ash the social media.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
TikTok Instagram Facebook group, which again thripping.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
People still don't know the full episodes are on YouTube,
but they are. We post about it every single You.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Want to see me just break apples for an hour straight.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
You're welcome. Actually, there we go.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
There's going to be influx of pregnancies off the back
of these episodes.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
The mums go, who yeah, there's all pregnant moms and
you best friends.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.
You did a photo dumb on Sunday?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Are you Internet eighteen photos? And you're not eighteen? My
plan has worked perfectly.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Off you're pretending like you did that on purpose?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I did. I was like, do you know why I
pretended like I did on There's a picture of Laura
in there and not you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Just for once, just take a photo of us.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I got to keep you guessing.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Just take a photo I can give me in the shadows.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I've got a special fold of for you with your
shirt of.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Welcome back to two dating dads.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I am Addie J and I.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
The bad and the relatable.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And one thing is for sure.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
We don't give advice. No, we're talking about parenting. I
wreckon quickly before we get into housekeeping. I have hit
peak level.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Dad, talk to me. There's a couple of things, big breath.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
There's a couple of things.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Sucked the shirt off my back.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yes, there's certain things synonymous with being a dad, and
one of them is the sneeze.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yep ow let me just can I just say I
absolutely love a sneeze. Stop myself from sex, isn't it
if I get.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
A good one, a good couple in a row. Good
if you're if your nasals swollen afterwards, that is a
fucking good sneeze. Anyway, let me set the scene. This morning.
It was today, and I was like, I wasn't expecting
this today. I wasn't expecting a sneeze. But I'm out
(01:54):
Stick with me. I'm out on the balcony hanging the
washing out. What a guy seven am this morning? And
it came at me hard and fast.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Sometimes it's good.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
And it was so loud and so click. The neighborhood
dogs started to bark, and I at first I thought
it was like they all set each other off off
the back of the You know when one dog barks
in your neighborhood and my dog's in there inside looking
at me, going, that's my fucking job. What do you
(02:31):
think you're Literally they went off, and April wasn't home,
She's already on the way to work, and I just
had no one to gloat to. So I've been holding
that in all day. And it's what two o'clock in
the afternoon, and I've been holding that to brag to
you about my elite level dad in Carl, I was like, really,
that's the next goal, that's the next level.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I'm jealous, thank you, you'll get there. I actually want
to sneeze right now.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I don't have.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I wish I could. I wish I could, just like
on demand.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
It's and it just echoed through the neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Oh it was absolutely And the neighbors are like, fucking hell.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, They're like, how old is that guy? He's thirty,
he's so advanced. Wow, my nose hasn't even gotten big
like an old man yet, you know how get bigger
getting there? Shut up, I'm housekeeping ash, Yes, what do
we got?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Poppy? Poppy loves being in the carrier, absolutely loves it.
Not huge, doesn't like the prem at the moment, doesn't
really like going in the only at nighttime, the little
side bassin.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I want to be rested up against breast as well.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Man. Yeah, don't we all sometimes wis She's with me.
She's like a seconds here, so bony, spiky shaved hair.
Loves it in the carrier. And at the moment, I'm
just clocking up miles, dude, I'm just my step count
is through the roof. I put stories up.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
The other day.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Oh yeah, yeah, the most I've HiT's like fifteen and
a half thousand steps in a day.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Just being around the house, just like.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Literally just up and down, pacing dude up and down
this hallway, up the stairs, down the stairs. She just
loves a little bit.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Of a nose, like squats.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I haven't got onto the squats just yet.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
My quads were massive, when I was like, is that
how you got them so big? That's at the pistons. Yeah,
you should make these babies. Put kids to sleep well.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I put a call out and said, is anyone hitting
like twenty thousand a day? And we do have someone here,
Sarah Facebook group twenty thousand a day, Rebecca twenty six thousand.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
What what's the high step? Can't you reckon? You've had
him one day?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I don't know. I'd love to find out. I was
a little bit a little bit disheartened when all the
like the professionals started coming out and being like their
amateur numbers.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, when I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Working a twelve hour shift saving lives in a hospital
wards son, I was like, they're the true heroes, your
highest What do you any real doctors reach out about
the not yet now the rural doctor is very quiet, actually,
rural doctors working on a farm. They'd be hit like
fifty thousand.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Now they'd be like, patients, come to me.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Shout out to all the rural medical staff of this country.
Backbone of this the heroes slash slash bets.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
They're the same thing, same thing, same qualification, your high
step out. I used to work in a factory another job.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Of course you fucking did.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, and it was it was a really dated way
of doing things they did.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
What were you housing in the wear.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Fh surfboard fins? Sure, mate, I would be thirty five
thousand steps a day, five days a week.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Is that when you with jacked? Was that your incidental cardio?
We are you quite skinny?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Nah? That was the peak of my alcoholism, trying to
walk it off every day. No, it was in the
middle of COVID.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I don't know if we should like have a moment
about reflecting.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
On my peak alcoholism. Yeah, I'm actually twenty one. No,
it was during COVID, in between real jobs. Best job
I ever had other than this one, of course safe
but yeah. I used to go up and back, up
and back all day and it was like we get
(06:07):
home and I was wrecked and then I really were,
but I wasn't counting, that wasn't actively counting them. But
it was like check your heart thing on your phone,
you know that heart app. And I was like shit.
After five days, I was like I don't even know
the mask for the marathon. Literally, I was like, no,
when I'm going to bed at like five thirty in
the afternoon, you.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Can't put the fact that you're like bounce your kids
around to growing your pistons. It was the FCS warehouse
that was the foundation of the pistols.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
No, that was after Oscar, but before Macy. I wouldn't
have been able to do those steps without Oscar. So
I would like to thank my child. Yeah, sleepless nights
and massive what do what.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Do you go at the moment?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Cordzilla?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
What do you go at the moment? What's your step count?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Today? And I've been sitting in this chair since I
got here yesterday. Where you at yesterday? You reckond not march.
I'm going to be honest that a little looxie steps Fella,
what was yesterday six thousand, eight thousand?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Pathetic?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, it's pretty bad. Do you know what's the least
amount of I know that too, go on I was
in Santorini. Fifty steps not even kidding. That is not
even a joke. I could if I could go back
in time, surely I could find that.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
That must have been one hell of a hangover.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
What may it was? The steps were from the bed
to the pool back to the bed. That's it. Wow, Wow, Brow, You're.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Amount of extremes. I know I've got a note here.
You said put this in there. Is it a party
or not?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes, okay, I do have something to run by you.
It's about birthday parties. Okay, kid's birthday parties in particular.
I'm quite new to the kids' birthday party game, as
we know on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Yeah, for anyone who's joining us recently, Ash would hijack
other kids' birthday parties. He would like bolt on his
kids to that birthday party, which meant he didn't have
to organize anything.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
It was the best, especially when I could get their
name in this.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
It's all like a virus of the kid's birthday world.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Oh yeah, I like.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Lock on to a host birthday.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I'm thinking about just having more kids so I could
do it again. Because it was it was a thrill,
That's what it was. I felt like I was can't
be illegal? Is it trespassing? Well there was a bit
of a debate, okay, and obviously it was Macy's birthday
last week?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
What? Yeah? What do you know that you knew that?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Did I?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Well, I know your kid's birthday? Do you think you
know mine birthday last week? Yeah? Four years old?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
She did you post about it?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yes? Sorry, don't even apologize. I I'm used to being
this disappointed. No, anyway, that's not the point. That's not
the point, because she'll have another birthday next year and
you can make up for it. Then you'll forget. So
it's like, what do you do? What do you do
for your kids? Do you have a party or do
you not have a party? And the problem here was
(08:54):
I gave Macy the options, which is do you want
to have a little party or do you want to
do something like go to the zoo or whatever. But
that's not the problem. The problem is how you communicate
that to your to their friend's parents. So this is
where the confusion comes in. Okay, Now I said to
(09:14):
my friends who are who have kids, We're going to
go to the zoo. Okay for Macy's birthday? Would you
like to come along. That's not a party.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's a birthday party.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
No, it's not. This is a birthday party. Hey, Macy's
having a party. Here.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Come.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
You're invited to a party.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Purely based on the fact that it is around her birthday. Automatically,
by default, it then qualifies as a birthday because it's
an activity outside of the house.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Okay, but let me ask you this. Right if I
say I don't use the word party, so that doesn't
go to no, no, no, no, no, you're missing the point here.
So Oscar doesn't go to school with me, because you
know what, this is what happened right for another party,
which wasn't a party. It was where going to this place?
It just happens to be around the time. If everyone
(10:05):
wants to come, they can. If not, it's fine, we understand.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Did you have a set time?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, no set time.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
So what you just said, like I'll be at the zoo,
come find any of the gorillas.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
No, we just we just said to select people, this
is we're gonna do this.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
You surely must have said we'll be there at ten o'clock.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Oh yeah, the time was you to me? No, it
was like where on the way boom, that was it?
Where on the way, don't remember getting that text anyway?
You're away? I think you were somewhere anyway. But this
is my this is my this is my problem, right
because there's a couple of different options with kids parties.
The drop and go, yeah, okay, the non drop and go.
(10:44):
Who pays for it?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
That's a big question.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
This is where I'm at, right, the who pays for
it question? Yes, you in the pink.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What's the ticket to the zoo cost fifty bucks something
like that? Yeah, okay, that's a lot, right, Yeah, okay,
you were trying to not put it under the banner
of a party so you didn't have to pay for it.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
No, no, no, no, Mine was fine. It was another one,
another incident from another parent.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Well, were they like, as gonna try and you're gonna
get these tickets or so?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
What happened was right, they said, Hey, to the friend group,
we're going to be doing this for Ex's birthday. Yep, okay,
if anyone wants to come, you are more than welcome
to join us. That's it. But what happened was, and
this is my point, the kids got hold of this
all of a sudden. They're at school talking about this
person's party, which in their class. Obviously all these kids
(11:38):
weren't invited because it was just a monkst It's not
a party, right, So what happened was the kids are
talking about parties and now kids and parents are upset
because their kid wasn't invited, when originally it was just
the friend group that was told what they're doing for
(11:59):
the day and if they were would love to join,
they are more than welcome. It's an invite to a hangout.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Do you think I may just retract my earliest statement.
Do you think to qualify for a party it needs
to have two key ingredients a birthday cake and a
party bag.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
And an invite, an actual invite?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Will I will question the invite that's not essential the
kid the kids. It's the kids that fucking snitch and
get you into trouble.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This is what's what happened, right, And it got kind
of got back to people like for example, the zoo
okay was not going to be paid for by the
parents of the kid because it was just we're going
if you want to come. But that caused the problem
because the kids were calling it a party.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So that has been leave you don't use that tep
in front of me.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
This is what I'm saying to the parents of the
world out there, don't use the P word because you're
going to get us all in trouble. So now after
the fat the poor kids going back to school, to
other people going you had a party? Do you not
like me? And then the parents been like, who's paying
for this? And then also, if I'm paying for a party,
(13:15):
it's not a drop and go situation because I've fit
the bill. If you're paying for the ticket for your
kid to come, that's a drop and go because you've
paid for the service of me watching your kids.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
That's up for debate. That's a minefield for people who
don't yet have kids and maybe listening. This is the
type of dilemma that keeps us up at nighttime. This
is this is the kind of stuff you've got to try.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And take it. It needs to be a rule book, a.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Rule book, emmanual somewhere.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
There has to be something, because I feel that everyone
who has small kids, they yap, all right.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
They talk a lot.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
They yap because they kept talking about someone's party, someone's party,
and I'm like, it wasn't a body telling the other kid.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
But what is important to remember, though, is that I
wish Macie a very happy belated birth.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I'll let her know because you are her favorite.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
I wish I knew that story was going to be
as long as well.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Sorry, sorry I was.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I argue, no, no, it's great, it's great. I just
like I've just I've been thrown out of housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Are we out of it?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Thanks? So? But we're back in because just really quickly,
you told me you got a horse tattoo. I did.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, it's a horse's cock. No, is it on your back? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I want to see the horse tattoo. Fucking massive horse.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
So it was going to be I turned up.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
On the mic, big guy, come on.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Sorry sorry. I turned up to my tattoo appointment, and
I'm very much like there's a lot of trust there
with him. I've been going to him for like eight years,
and I'm like, whatever you do, man. And I got
there and he was like, this is what I've got
planned my pony. It was three horses my whole lower back.
(14:57):
And I was like, I don't know about that. I
was like, I'm not prepared for that. I love it,
but I'm not prepared. I love the energy, but I
am not prepared to sit through that agonizing pain. How
about we get with one horse.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Three black stallions.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
It was I'm saying, the bottom of that eagle to
my butt crack with wreath around it. It was a beautiful,
beautiful drawing beautiful, but it was it wasn't It was
too big, so we went with a small horse.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
But anyway, it looks beautiful.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Thank you. It's just the outline.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Just really quickly. We mentioned there was a seal show
that you went to at the zoo. Stephen Seelberg produced it.
Because it was very dramatized. There was a mode of
music that was like the betting track for this scene.
I don't have the name, and I'm so sorry if
you submitted this, I screenshot it, and I screenshot out
your name says I used to be a marine keeper
at Taronga, and this is gold. I've told my mates
(15:53):
about your request for a future seal name. Also, yes,
to build a home makes us all depressed. That was
the song that was playing. Unsurprisingly, some guy from Nider. Now,
if anyone doesn't know what Nier is, it's like the
most esteemed college university to study acting in Australia. They
came someone came from nider and they helped direct the
(16:15):
whole thing. Years ago. He was dot dot dot interesting anyway,
point being, you guys are hilarious. Thank you was the
semi marine keeper friend and hopefully one day we'll proudly
be able to claim naming rights.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
If there is not, there needs to be a seal
at Taronga Zoo called STEVENS. Silberg just saying, ah, very good, Matt.
You know me and I'm a stickler for breaking news.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
We love it.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And for social media stats.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Now, oh my god, you send like twelve a day
to me at the moment and I love it. It's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
My algo is just nothing but status.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Know that we anyway, what you got that?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I don't know what you are?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
What's your stat of the week?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Now? There has been an extensive study okay, using heated
cart seats is likely to raise scrotal temperature, which may
contribute to lower sperm quality or fertility risk. Wow, okay,
I would like to know one thing, Yep, how did
they conduct that?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
It's it's wild, isn't it. How did they who was
getting the funding for this type of research? Okay, but
it's very important. I feel like it's more of a
like it doesn't get cold enough. I've never once used
heated car seats.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Delightful.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Well yeah, but now it doesn't doesn't matter to me.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Now you had to persect me.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Absolutely, But for any expecting fathers trying to be a father,
trying to start a family, lay off the car seat heater.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
But but this is the thing right to me? Does
cold not do the same thing?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
But I thought warming up the testicles would have been beneficial.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, you warm up before sport? Yeah, I thought cold
just in there, we're do beat test forug get out there.
I thought it was fitting for it's a parenting podcast.
If you knew that, what else you got for me?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Okay? I I had I had something really odd. Experienced
the beach. Hard to describe what it felt like. But
on Thursday recently, beautiful day, sun was out, weather, it
was warm. I'm with Lola, get down to the beach
and in Bondi in the north end there's a little
(18:36):
Kiddi's pool.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm familiar.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
It's concrete pool. It's like at its deepest, it's like
knee deep. It's a good one for the kids. Also
it's all concrete, so Lola hates sand. She loves it.
I'm hanging out with Lola. We're having a great time
on a Thursday. It's not too busy on a Thursday
as well. I had my shirt off. I had the
shirt of but you know, weekends heaving shoulder and shoulder. Thursday,
(19:01):
the crowds are light on and I'm playing with Lola
and I'm kind of throwing it in the air and
we're having a great time. And I noticed as a
guy standing at one end of the kiddie pool and
he's got this camera, pretty solid looking camera, like he
knows what he's doing, like he's like a photographer. Well
said thank you, and I kind of look over in
(19:22):
the corner of my eye and he's pointing the camera
towards us, and I was like, ah, it's kind of weird,
and didn't I thought maybe hate you. Maybe it's just like,
you know, I don't know, he's taking photos or something,
some graffiti there, maybe he's taking photos of that. But
you know, tried not to.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Were you in a budget smuggler? Man? I was in
my budget photo.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
But then then I was like, you know, playing with
Lola again, and I was throwing her up in the air,
and then as I kind of threw up in the
air like he just likes. And I look over and
again he's pointing the camera towards us, and I was like, nah,
fuck this, like this is not on.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You can't it's a and you have been aggressive lately.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
And he doesn't have any kid, and not if there's
anything wrong with people being in the Kidi Pool area
with no kids, but I just thought it was a
little bit strange that he's standing there, an older man,
much older, no child, big camera in hand, taking photos
pointing it at my child. Yeah, And I was like, nah,
so walk over. I'm like, mate, what do you think
(20:26):
you're doing? And he goes, what do you mean? And
I was like, you can't be taking photos of the
kids in here, and he's like, well, I wasn't. And
I was like, I saw your pointing the camera. Okay,
he took photo. He goes, no, I didn't look turn
his camera around. He put it on kind of like
you can see what he took a photo of. Now,
I'm not a photographer myself, but I know how to
(20:46):
handle a camera. So he showed me the screen to
show that it was a photo of like the sky
at the horizon, and I grabbed his camera and I
scrolled through the photos looking for the evidence. Gosh, no,
it's all just photos of the sky the horizon.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
And how did you There's nothing this one, nothing of
my daughter.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
And I was thinking to myself, I've caught a pedophile.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
And he wasn't even hiding him. He's got if he's
got a tiny camera and he's like like you know
in those old spy movies and they're like of the documents.
He's like.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
I thought I was. I was about to like myself,
I could I can claim that I've removed a dangerous
pedophile from the kiddie.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Pool area, hidden in plain sight.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
But he was just taking photos.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Of the how many people have you confronted of late?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
A couple easier. I'm becoming protective back at up a
little and I was like, lo, we gotta get out
of here. And she's like, what do you mean? Like
we're gone on the beach. She's like, why this is
fun here? I was like, we gotta go.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Oh man, I can see the confusion there. But when
you were like, he's got a big camera, ande he's
taking photos directly.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
He looks suspect. He's not even trying to hide it.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's like usually that's like it was a brazen pedophile.
They try and hide it, and it's like, do you
know what, maybe if I make it so obvious, I
will be hiding it anyway. Anyway, No good on you.
For first of.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
All, anyone wondering the kiddy pool is a safe area.
The kiddie pool is safe.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
It's kind of sexy that you attacked him like that.
Don't encourage me talking about sexy. I have accidentally aroused
my wife. Go on, and I never knew this was
going to happen. Let me sit scened on this one.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Can I just say you and April have a very
healthy sex life currently don't.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Jin said sorry, so thank you, but it continues. This
one's a bit of a weird one. Actually, we're in
the car, all of us, mom, dad, me being dad,
Mum being April, and then my two kids, and we
had one apple, a whole apple in the half and
Oscar said can I have the apple please? And makes
(23:04):
You said can I have the apple please? Now the
problem here is there's one apple. Matt, thank you so
well aware what I did whilst I was. I was
behind the wheel, but we were pulled over to the side.
No knife to cut this apple in half. I ripped
the apple into two. Oh wow, right in front of
(23:25):
my wife, just a display of like pure strength. And
she let out a, oh, I have an apple.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I was going to ask, but I didn't want to
put you on the spot.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I'm going to say it could have been a fluke
because I haven't tried this since I don't know. I'm
sweaty now. You made me nervous.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Okay, what's your technique technique? Because like you've just Oh my.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
God, whoa, I've done it?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Wow, just like that. Wow. I didn't think you're going
to do it. Who taught you this? No one?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I just went for it.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
It's very good, is it? Did you make that much
mess in the car?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
It was a clean snap and it was so perfect
that she let out this noise I haven't heard of.
Was like, and like, what did Macie say? They were
very impressed.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
It's the equivalent of killing a bear with your hands
and nothing else.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
That's what I did. Anyway. I was shocked that it
got to go on. Actually, I'm not shocked at all.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Really, my fingers I don't think I could do I.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Strictly only get apples out now like that at home,
kids like, can I have an apple?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
I'm like, I reckon, you could do it with the
pumpkin as well.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I reckon, we should figure out what I can't.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Use knives anymore. You're just in the kitchen ripping things
in half with your hands.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh yeah, finger strength. She's a lucky.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
I just thought I let you know that.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
All right. Well, look, in contrast to that incredible display
of masculinity, I've had a moment where I never felt
more emasculated than used.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
A lot of energy. And you need to refuel. Bring
in the rest of the apple.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I go to your house and your bedroom is just
like apple cores scattered all over the floor. A very
simple task has really gotten me.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Oh gods.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
You know, we had the fridge. The fridge that we
used to have in this house was one that like
extra hundred bucks. The guy said, hey, extra un barks,
the fridge is yours. You can keep it, very very
old fridge. And after being in this house for a
couple of years, that fridge in particular has finally carved it.
I noticed. So we got a new fridge, and Laura
gave me one strict instruction for that fridge because she
(25:56):
loves chilled water, and she goes, whatever fridge you it
has to have a connection point for a water dispenser.
And I was like, cool, got it. Got the fridge
very hard as well to find a fridge that fits
within the I see you looking over there.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
It's one of life's things where you like, I wanted
new fridge. Got to make sure it fits in this
hole in my house.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
You don't want it to be too small in the
fridge cavity. Anyway, I finally found one that was like
close enough, had a water dispenser, and I was like Laura.
And also because she's breastfeeding, she loves whenever she breastfeeds
the last yeah, they get very tisty. She loves the
cold water. Loves the cold water.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Maybe she should see me crack an apple. Good things.
She's not here when I did that.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
And also she requested that it have a nice dispenser,
just very strict criteria. So I finally get the fridge.
I order it. It's on back order. It's like Laura,
I got two weeks to wait for the fridge. The
fridge arrives set up as included in the delivery. Love
that and the guy goes your hose point it doesn't connect. God,
(26:59):
he was like, this is this is the connection point
and it's too small for I don't know the terms.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
That's what she said. Matt's holding up a golden attachment
that looks like the end of it.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Don't make me sound rich. Matt's holding a diamond encrusted
it's it's made out of seafood.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Marnara.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
This is the old one. Oh yeah, old connection point
for the water tap. This one's silver, right, that's the size,
that's the diameter. As the poor.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Person, it's too small, I see.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah. He goes go to Bunnings asking for that one.
There the gold little head in the larger size of
the old one that connected up. Because if you imagine,
like you know, where you connect the hose to like
the tap outside, that's essentially what I'm trying to do,
connect up a water tap. Okay, yeah, I'm just this
(27:52):
is how much I'm shrugging to describe. And this is
this is someone who's been talking about this and learning
about this for a couple of weeks. Now, go to Bunnings.
The guys like, what the fuck are you talking about?
And I was like, I me have this and this.
I'm like okay, man, and he's like, what are you
(28:12):
talking about? I fucking have no idea. And I was like,
help me. And he's like I overgoing to Aisle sixteen
and trying to figure it out, and I'm like, fuck,
go there. I can't find it. So I go to
a plumbing store. It's like called Plumbing Coad's all the
plumbers go.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
They should know.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I go there, Okay, they sell nothing but plumbing gear,
all right, And I go in there with my two
little bits.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
When you were walking in, they were like, here we go.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
And then Laura is also like, I'm so fasty that's
been tricking nothing but it's awful. Just clean water, room temperature, please.
And I was like, don't worry, honey, Tomorrow, I'm gonna
go the plumbing store. I'm gonna sort this out. I
go in there. No one's in the store, which is great.
I go to the guy behind the desk and I'm like,
hey man, I've got a problem. I'm trying to connect
this guy into this guy and he's like, what format
(29:01):
was for the fridge? For the water dispensing. He's okay,
and then as I'm trying to explain, a plumber comes
in behind me, steel cap boots, khaki shorts, covered in dirt,
and I'm like, look, give him my shoulder and I'm like, fuck,
it's embarrassing someone I've got. And he's like, oh, you've
you've got. You're trying to find a nip for the
for the threadhead and I was like, oh fuck, oh
(29:22):
my god.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
They're like, they're like, you're trying to find the black
and white paint. A long wait.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
So then he gave me this. Oh well, gave me
the nip head.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Okay, all right, now we're talking.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Okay, okay, you know the same size?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Fucking hell though, mate, will.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
That not go in? Now?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Well, think about these heads, Okay, these brass connectors. You
need to have a rubber ring, an oh ring.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
To make it seal it up. Take it one out
of there.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It doesn't come out. You can't. Metal on metal doesn't
make a seal. So I I connected up, water goes everywhere.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Laura is like, you actually did it and it didn't work.
There's no seal, no o ring.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
So I've been watching videos about fucking O rings now,
and I've got to go back to the plumbing store.
I've been back there three times.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
The saga, this is a saga. Here's a look here.
I tell you right now, you could get an O
ring for that pretty quickly, you know I can. Is
this a handyman podcast? It's like help Matt out everything.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It's like, I've got to go back.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
In there and tail between your legs.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
But I now, I've been watching videos and O rings
and also plumber's tape as well. I'm pretty much a plumber.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
You are not far off it. Let's upset the plumb
as well. We're at it. You're not far off being
a plumber. They should have and I'm going to throw
them under the bus a little bit here.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
He should have given me the O ring and the
plumber's tape.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
They should have he's not listening. You better go in
before this comes out.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Like why he fucking set me up?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, he set me up.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
He sold me this.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
They know what they're doing on me.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
The brass connecting nip.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
We used to mess with people all the time when
they come into the timberyard asking technical questions. That's what
they've done here. They've messed with you.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
He was also just he knew what I wanted, and
he was like, I don't know what you mean.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
They're messing with you.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
He's fucking with me. Absolutely, he played me like a fiddle.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
So did you just give up and buy a water jug?
Because I saw.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Went came, I got a water jug and off I
was like, why I've been trying to fix this for
two weeks.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Now, that's taken way too long.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I'd slept properly at night, and I'm tossing and turning.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
A bit about the ring. What you should do is
buy a pack of O rings. Then you'll always have them.
Think about that the next fridge or next plumbing problem.
You're like, don't worry, BABEA is.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Like, what are you watching? Fucking watching an instructional video
on O rings and how they make a direct seal
when connecting water systems.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Fuck, what's your algorithm? Like? Now?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Weird? Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Do you wouldn't need me to go over there with
an apple and show you how strong we are?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Please?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Yeah, we come as.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
A package tale.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
This is how strong we are.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Bloody trades making us regular dads feel like we're pathetic.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I always think they're better than us. It's time for
a festive segment.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
That's right, Christmas Fails.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Now.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Each week we ask the good listeners of this podcast,
the Dodors, to send in their worst, most memorable Christmas fails.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
And it's all thanks to Aldi.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Yeah, what's this guy here? By the way, what are
the little shortbreads?
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Have one go on? It's Christmas? Aldi? Good different?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Now shall we bloody delicious?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
You can start with this top one here that looks good.
I'm going to have one while you're reading this. I'm
going one with the chocolate feet.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
They are good, They're unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Are they different? Good? Different? Some would say, shut up.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
This is from Abby, and she says, my family and
I used to go away six hours up the North
coast with another family at Christmas every time of the year.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Lovely, that is nice. That's a little tradition. That's what
that is.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I'd call it.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Wait for it to fail.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
My dad had the task of packing the Christmas presents
for us to open on Christmas Day. Okay, see where
this is going. Christmas morning rolls around, my brothers and
I see the other kids open their presents dot dot dot,
Oh none for us.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Sad music.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
My god, Dad forgot, didn't he?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Oh dad?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Mom told us that Santah couldn't find where we were staying,
so left them at home for us. Very nice, save Mom.
A few years later, my parents divorce. I I'm sorry,
Oh my god, don't tell me the reason was. Don't
tell me. The reason was she never got over the
(34:09):
Christmas that was not.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh my god, my face is hot. Both I both
feel sorry for them, and then the divorce really.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Made oh my god, that really hit me. And so
the parents got a divorce and the truth came out
and we never went away for Christmas ever again.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
That we did ask for that sort of staff.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
It's great that we can laugh about the trauma. But
I hope that Abby's laughing.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
She'd be laughing.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I hope you didn't send that with tears in her eyes.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
And the sad music still playing, and we're like, ah, wow,
that's a classic man move. That one I reckon. All right, man,
I've got one for you please. This one's from Shannon.
Thank you Shannon. When we first moved into our new house,
my husband was beyond excited to see how festive the
neighborhood was getting. In October Wow, Okay, we'll say it's
(35:05):
late October keen to join in on the fun. We
headed straight to the hardware store and came home with
an entire kit and kaboodle lights, decorations, the works.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Love that.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
A few days later we proudly switched everything on, flashing
gingerbread man with waving arms and all, only to realize
the rest of the neighborhood wasn't celebrating Christmas at all.
They were celebrating Duwali, the Indian festival of lights. So
(35:36):
while everyone else had elegant strings of gold lights, we
had our over the top Christmas display twinkling away front
and center. To this day, I still give him grief
about our Dwali gingerbread extravaganza. Now I have just a
follow up from that, really quickly from Shannon. She messaged me,
(35:59):
which is a great story, and she went on to
say he's going to kill me if this gets on
the podcast. His name is Jay. Make sure you say
his actual name, Jay. She said, this is going back
a few years ago, but I've never let him forget it.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Good on you, Jay for having a crack at it
from holiday, I mean October.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
He's like Wow, this neighborhood, they're keen. It's from I
Come on.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
What's he gonna do? But honkah, all.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Right, this one. It's anonymous awkward Christmas story for you.
Thank you very much, he says, here, please keep anonymous.
Christmas got awkward with my recently divorced uncle.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Oh god, it's always the uncle. If his name's Alan Rickman, imagine.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Being the uncle and being like, fuck, now I'm divorced,
and now I've got to become an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
And go to Christmas and be creepy.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It's just part of it. So the recently divorced uncle
came to Christmas with his new girlfriend. Oh god, who
was brother's ex wife? Is this Jerry Springer?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Actually ended up getting married and made every Christmas gathering
so awkward. So my cousin's uncle is now his stepdad
and his mom is also his auntie. Oh my god.
If only there were cameras to capture everyone's face that day.
There are millions of people in this world. Why pick
(37:42):
a relative's ex partner to be your new.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Partner and take him to Christmas? Oh god, I just
off the back of that real quick. We had an
awkward not similar situation, but a situation kind of like that.
That's just jogged my memory. My auntie, she will remain nameless.
She brought her new boyfriend to Christmas once and he
was a bikey full blind and what happened was they
(38:09):
turned up on the motorbike. No, pretty much looked like
Danny and Sandy from Greece. But he's covered in tats,
missing a few teeth, and it was just like.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
It's Christmas, we don't discriminate. Everyone's welcome.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
He was a statement piece. Anyway, he got really pissed,
try to fight you fell asleep on the couch. And
that was that.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
And that's why I love Christmas because it brings people together.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
It just brings everyone together.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
A huge thanks to those three stunning stories. Also thanks
to Aldi for making this segment possible. Remember Ash, go on,
it's Christmas, treat yourself, have another bikie.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Thank you Audi. Good different And if you've got an
awkward uncle recently divorced, divorced, we want to hear from you. No,
you've got any Christmas fails, chaos, fails, drama. This one
a lot of drama in this a little bit.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Of Christmas drama. I love a bit of gossip Christmas
any affairs, Senator.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Yeah, you can email us, you can DMUs, you do
whatever you like at two Doting Dad's Instagram, TikTok wherever,
or hello at two Doting dads dot com.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
I can't wait for what we get next week.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I know they're getting better.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Ash. We have a couple of questions here, and this
is one, which is it's been sitting in the comment
section of a video that I posted a couple of
weeks ago. It was when I had the letter from
Marley and I referred to Marley as being my best friend.
Now a lady has written on that video that you
cannot be best friends with your child.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Well that's going to upset my child, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (39:42):
And I thought to myself, Hang on a second, is
it a case of I'm not actually best friends with
my children? And I think I am. I'm just throwing
that term out like it's willy nilly.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Is it for them or is it for you?
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Though that term I would say, I like. I genuinely
I thought about it, and I honestly believe two things. Firstly,
I think I am best friends with my children. I
hang out with them more than anybody else in this world.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Somewhat offended.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
But okay, yep, well I didn't even get invited to
your bloody non party zoo trips, so you forgot. Since
that happened, you've been off the best friend.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
List for the last forty minutes.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
And I do think you can be best friends with
someone and still pull them into line and discipline them,
even though there is.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Like a you do pull me into line and discipline
me all the time?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Right, Yeah? Because I love you?
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Look, I agree with I love you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I love you too. I do agree with you beg
for it. Yeah, I wanted to do the same more
than once. That's why you're like the fucking plum guy.
What are you trying to say? What are you trying
to say? You love me?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I'm not sure this guy.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I would say that. We always say in my house
that we're all best friends. Why not?
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I love that?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Kids love that. Are they trying to say, and I'm
trying to dissect this here. Are they trying to say
you can't be best friends? Because how can you be
a disciplinary figure and also be a best friend? And
I think that I think it's a fair argument to
have that, but there has got to be an outcoming.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Is it isn't? There are many times when I'm playing
with my kids where it's a sharp change of gears.
My girls love to wrestle, they love it, but every
now and then they'll like kick me in the head
and I've got to quickly go take you back. Listen,
we don't kick each other, and you have to like quickly.
You're the disciplinarian, you be that figure. Then you go
back into playing. And it's the role of the parent
(41:33):
that I think you can be. In one breath, you're
telling them how to behave, and the next you're on
their level playing with them.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Friends fired, right, But also let's say this. If your
kid asks you, daddy, am I your best friend? No
one on earth is saying no.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I hope not.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
You would mate, I tell you right now.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
We're very close, billy, but I wouldn't say best friends. Yeah,
you are right. I wouldn't go that far.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Look, your mother says you're all right, so I guess
we'll blame whatever he desperate.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
But like this guy, why are you so needy, Susan?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
This guy whose four year old fucking lose off?
Speaker 2 (42:11):
But that's what I mean like that comment is real simple. Okay.
So if you were to take that comment as gospel right,
and you went and go, okay, I'm going to put
that into practice, and then you go to Marley and go,
guess what, Marley, You're not my best friend? How do
you think that would make Marley feel? That's not right?
Speaker 1 (42:29):
And even can I just say one thing, Let's say
Heaven forbid that we're wrong.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Let's let's just allow people to live that dream.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
If you want to be best friends with your kid,
go for.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
People are saying I'm best friends with my kid. In
what world does saying well, not, that's not true because
technically you're not actually best friends because of this reason.
How is that going to benefit anyone?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
If you honestly believe that Marley is better friend and
the answer to this question is that she's your best.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Friend, there is there is br Wicks very very good,
very simple, very good, very simple to thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
I have a question for you, Matt, But it does
come with a warning for the parents who are listening
to this right now, happy to be in the car
with their children.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Were there are many parents who do listen to do
doting dads with the kids in the car.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
That level is swearing. Whoops, sorry about that.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
You're all my best friends. We are talking about the
man in red real quick, so turn it down, come
back to it later or if whatever. Anyway, good flag,
Thank you. This is from Hayley from the Facebook group,
which is thriving.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I would say it's overgrowing.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
We're gonna have to call some Does Santa buy the
big presence? He doesn't really buy anything. Does Santa buy
the big presence for your kids and you get all
the other little ones or vice versa. And just as
an example here Amy also in the Facebook group. Well,
she would have to be to see it and respond
(44:03):
to it. We don't let Santa take the credit for
the big expensive stuff.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, that's a good question. This is the first year
I'm gonna have to pay really close attention to writing
on the little cards on gift saying who's it from?
Is it from Nana? Is it from Mom? Is it
from Dad? Is it from Santa? Because Marley is a
bit like she's asking for things and she's like, but
I'm asking for someone that's in the store, So obviously
that wasn't made by the elves and Santa, right, they
(44:29):
make a life for like that's sometimes I've said that
they can replicate. They replicate what's in the toy store.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
The trademark issues, but they replicate.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
But I'm not sure. I don't have the answer to
this question. How do you do it?
Speaker 2 (44:40):
I group it all in with Santa, really, because my
kids don't respect me all my money. Man. I had
that loaded up real quick, didn't I. Anyway, Yeah, I look,
I always say if I really want to find out
what they want to. Like yesterday I said to Oscar,
(45:01):
I was like, hey, big guy, if Santa was to
get you hypothetically, hypothetically and I can't guarantee it an
adjustable basketball hoop so that we could play.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Would you be into this?
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Would you be into that? And if it came a
little bit early, because I want to get on get
on with it now.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
And he was a basketball let's play.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yeah, he's already been No, he was like, he was like, oh,
you ask him real nasales. I want one of those.
So I'm just sticking with the overarch. The over arch
that he there's no I'm getting little stuff because I
get him stuff all the time I got him leg
op yesterday and it's like, well if if I can
just say it's the one guy, and it just avoids
(45:46):
any confusion because if he's like who gave it to me?
I'm like, what does it sound? The card? He's like Santa,
but it's in your handwriting, like he's.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Good, very bloody good kid. Well, Marley's even starting to
question the sounds that are dressed up, like.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Is that yeah?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
That? Do you know?
Speaker 1 (46:02):
There's the telstra you can call Santa? Yeah? Yeah, and
obviously all Ai and it's the same message. She's like,
I want to call him again, and she's like, that's
so weird. We just had the exact same conversation that
we just had before, and I'm like, we let's get there.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
We should go to a different phnes. This was playing enough,
and I've said it before with this whole sound, little
bit of apple coming up, that was an apple bird.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
It was delightful looking to the right, there's like twelve
discarded apples that are going brown. What does Ash want?
Just apples?
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Just bits of apples handwrittened. What I will say about
the whole Big Man in Red is that I don't
like the encouragement of a breaking enter. It's like a
reverse breaking enter because he's breaking in to give you
give your ship. It's very confused, so they're going to
be real confused when someone actually breaks and enters and
takes something.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
But if people feel strongly please jump in the Facebook
group give us your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yeah, Ash, we better get out of it.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Brown, you know what that means. It's done to go
eat it.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
If you've enjoyed this episode, please send it to a
friend anyone out there. You know, we we honestly love
getting new listeners and we think people would find it
funny if you would also give us a review, a
few comments, a couple of stars, Spotify or app a podcast,
that'd be great. Ash the social media.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
TikTok Instagram Facebook group, which again thripping.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
People still don't know the full episodes are on YouTube,
but they are. We post about it every single You.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Want to see me just break apples for an hour straight.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
You're welcome. Actually, there we go.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
There's going to be influx of pregnancies off the back
of these episodes.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
The mums go, who yeah, there's all pregnant moms and
you best friends.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.
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