December 12, 2023 • 47 mins
Lots to get through in this ep - she's bloody jammed packed!
Firstly, Ash's haemorrhoids are back and he's shittng out leaves. We've launched the world's (unofficial) sexiest calendar - Choreplay 2024. Entering the calendar industry hasn't been smooth sailing e.g we left it bloody late to get them printed before Christmas, printed prices are at an all time high and being sexy for 12 photos is exhausting. Good news is that there's still a few left online if you want to be slightly aroused.
Matt gets to the bottom of why Ash hates Christmas and pin points it down to the fact that he never had a Christmas tree as a child. Also, Macy has just started assaulting all members of the house (mostly Oscar).
We share your best Ordinary Parenting stories as well as have a crack at answering your listener questions:
- Ash - is it difficult sending Oscar to two different daycares with friends and routine?
- Is having kids expensive and does it get any better?
We also have a discount code 'twodotingdads' for Budgy Smuggler, which will get you 20% off at the checkout!
Follow @twodotingdads on Instagram here. Or slide into our DM's with any parenting question you need answered by a couple of doting dads.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, yea, yea.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm still staring at a moment when I was singing upstairs.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I can't come good.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I like put an accent on.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Oh go give me, and I know I can't remember
what it.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Was I was, but I thought to myself, maybe that's
why I've never been a good singer, because I'm trying
to sing in my normal talking voice. I need to
sing in like.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
You're stuck, mama, mama.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Man?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Is that the frog singing? It? Put it murmur?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I can't think of the song, and I was upstairs
going shit. Am I about to stumble upon the fact
that I can sing?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
My imagine will release an album?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I do want to hear about your hemorrhoids. Oh yes,
but let me just do an intro and then we
can get straight into your asshole. Welcome back to two
(01:06):
doting dads.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I'm Mattie Jay and I'm as And this is a podcast,
a long one, and what she said, this is a
podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. And if
you have come wanting any advice, I'm sorry to say
that for legal reasons, we do have to make it
known that none is given in any capacity. On this
podcast zero Ash Hemorrhoids.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
I did mention to you this morning when we were
on the Today Show. For those of you who did
see little flex there, you've dropped second time this year.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
That's more times than I've ever been on anything. Yeah, look,
de Roid's back.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Is it big? Because I'm very green here in the
world of hemorrhoids? Are you pushing too hard?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Is it just think I just must be sitting there
too long? Too often? My assholes?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
A mystery you keep sending me. This is like the
second version of doing it videos of you on the
toilet where you take your shirt off as a skit.
How often do you go to the bathroom and then
have to remove remove your T shirt because cook happened?
Does that happen?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
It's a real sweaty one a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Are you saying like once a week, twice a week?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Nah, once a week? Maybe I'll get a bit hot and.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Bothered and so currently Are you in any discomfort right now?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
No, I'm right now. I haven't got to that point.
But I did shit a leaf the other day, but
just this podcast, what the fuck is going on over here?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
When we left the Today Show and we will explain
why we were on the Today Show in just a second.
But when we left, you said, I have to do
it pooh, And I said, there's a toilet, there's a
toilet around the corner. And you're like, I'm not doing it.
And it's about a half an hour. It's a half
an hour drive from where the studio is to your home.
(03:20):
How did you go in the drive home?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I said, I just have to fart it out, And
then I carried on about how I love farting the
car because it mixes with the air.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
What is wrong with when it reverberates off the leather?
But yeah, you did poo out a leaf.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
It was a full leaf, look like a maple leaf
or kind of leaf. Like I didn't go and inspect it,
like a eucalyptus fucking leaf.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Though, what have you been eating?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I don't know, don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
How do you know it was a leaf? It was
very scratched on the way out.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
No, no, it's separated from the main pile. Oh my god,
what is coming out of my mouth? And floated to
the surface and it was I could still see the
veins in it. Oh my God, please ignore anything I've
just said. Do not let that judge let you do it?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Will you go to the doctor?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
No, yea, I will actually yep.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Sorry, come on mate, come on, Yeah, my wife booked
me a doctor's appointment, did she.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Well, I'm a man. I can't do myself. Of course,
he dig demand there.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yeah, we suck.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Well.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I am wishing you were speedy recovery.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You see it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
No, believe, I don't keep it.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I want to see the hemorrhoid.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
No, I don't even want to see.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
We're not there yet.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I don't want to see it.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I told you I'm going with the cream real blind
because I don't want to see it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I don't want to know. When we're at the point
where we can confidently show each other our hemorrhoids, that's
where that's where I've wanted to be for an entire time.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
We'll get there. We'll get there maybe.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But we have to talk about Yeah, Today's Show. Yes,
shout out to the Today Show for having a song.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
They're definitely listening after that shit talk.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
It's always we threw the idea around. We said, hey,
we've got this calendar. It's the sexiest unofficially the sexiest
calendar ever made Correct Chor Play twenty twenty four. He said,
would you have us on the show and they said absolutely,
we would love to, and ASHNEI said, it could be
funny if we come on in bathrobes, budges underneath and
(05:32):
new Balance sneakers, New Balance sneakers extra wide with the
white sock high sock, non angler midigh and mid high sock.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's an awkward length sock.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It is who was binding you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It's meant to be a full length white sock. Okay,
but Dad's bought it and he's bought the six to
eight size instead of the eight.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
When they slipped down.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
To people were looking at us, like, what the hell
are these two guys? To poor cleaner, I said, I'll
bring some cleaning equipment. So I rock up and you
have to come from the basement up to the reception.
You sign in, and I have a mop and I
have the dust. And as I'm coming towards the main
reception desk, I spot the cleaner who's there with a
(06:14):
trolley and her mop bucket. She looks at me. I
look at her, and she's like.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Get off my territory. The studio is only big enough
for the one of us.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
People must yeah, very confused.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
She probably thought, is this how they tell me that
I've been like?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
She didn't. She looked panicked. She was she had the
look of fear in her eye, and I had to
kind of say, like, don't worry, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
She've been working all night.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
The place looks great. Yeah, bang up, job, I don't
know what I'm doing here. But then it was also
weird that we're on morning TV in our budgies. But
also the segment before us they.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Had I think he was a.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Foreign corresponding like he was talking about war overseas, very
serious topic.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Oh yeah, we're talking about the Ukraine? Were they?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
When we correct, like what's going to happen with the war?
Where we at? And then a weird gear shift to
then cut to you and me on the couch and
bathrobes with new BALANCEI.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
What about him as a guest, and then seeing the
other guest, thinking this is where I'm being in bad
to these two guys half naked.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
The guy who was I think I recognize him. He's
a pretty serious journalist.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I have seen him. Yeah, and we're in the green
room and you in the green room.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
He must have looked at us and just been like.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Fuck, what's going on? Yeah, joke's on you, bro. We're
getting paid the same.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
The calendar.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yes, Matt has got the proto type oh yeah, and
then over to you didn't know it was my birthday
with all his cake? Oh yeah, that is okay, glossy.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
So people, I've had countless people message me as everyone
is just hitting me up. I can't even leave the
house without someone harassing me and going when's the calendar
going to be available?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So when this comes out.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes, the calendar will be available for sale. I have
to say I'm going to preface this and say that
there's only one hundred. Yes, it's one hundred available to.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Be that's the ten that I buy for myself.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Your grandma, NaN's getting one, NaN's getting one. These are
a collector's item. They are hot property. They will it's
not a matter of if it's when they sell out.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
If you want to chuck your breakfast stuff every morning,
get one of these.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
There is an account. It doesn't have a profile picture.
They have messaged me five times being like me wanting
to know where the calendar is and we can confirm
that if you would like to buy a calendar, it
is on the Budgy smuggler website. Yes, turns out calendars
(08:51):
are not cheap to make. I fucked up. I got
a quote for like ten bucks and then and the
guy was like, oh, do you want to double sided?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
And I was like, who's going to get a one
sided calendar?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah? So double sided? Double the price.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah, funny man.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
They are costing us also, so late in the day
to have this idea to get it ready for Christmas,
costing us about twenty We're going to lose money. This
is a terrible business venture.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
We owe it to the people, the mothers, Yes, the
mothers and the wives who listen to us. We owe
it to them.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
How much do you want to sell it for? Like
twenty two hundred dollars?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
We have to work that out, but not March twenty.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Parents don't have a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I feel like in the world of calendars, I've done
some research, it's a very wide net in terms of pricing.
Cheaper ones are ten bucks, expensive ones are forty bucks.
I don't know how the pricing works. A friend's calendar
is ten bucks like Friends, Friends TV shows.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
It should be more because Matt's dead now, Matthew Perry.
I mean that is a collectors It is a collect design.
It is from cotton.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
That's we're now competing against the friend's calendar industry, which
is hot property out everywhere.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I yesterday saw there was a booth at the shopping
center near my place. Shout out to worlwid Square. They're
not sponsoring the oudside. I'm just saying that. And it's
outside of Woolies. That's where they get. Yeah, and it
was the fire and calendar, but they've changed it up
a bit now because obviously not too sexy. It's sexy still,
but there's other options. There's like a dog option and
(10:30):
there was another option I didn't.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
So depending on what kind of level of sex that
you want, you can go like mid level sex with
a puppy, or you can go full on hornbag, you.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Go beast reality.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Do you know how much is that selling for the
fireman calendar?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I had one there. It was the favorite house Fires. No,
I made that up. That would be funny though. That's
the thing. I sort of cruised pass. You didn't check
the price I didn't want to get too close case.
I tried to sell one to me and it was
a very handsome.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It was like it was a booth.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
It was a booth.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh ship. So the firemen with their where this is.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Like imagine if that was your They're like, congratulations, you're
now a fireman. But get you're too good looking. You
have to actually stand at Warrwood Shopping Center and sell
the calendars.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Of all the real fire there's a house on fire.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
No no, no, not you. He's like trying to blow it
out with calendar.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Well I was going to say, maybe maybe you didn't
want to have any competition there, because the world of
calendars very competitive. I know.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I was going to walk past and like push his
stall over and like, ll just take off. Good thing.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I didn't because the firemen have had they've had like
a choke hold on the industry. They have for a
very long time. As of now, as of getting.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Ready, sexy firemen, there's a couple of sexy house dads
come in your way.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
They're panicking house husbands. So I'm thinking twenty nine bucks.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah that's pretty good. Okay, happy with that whatever, Okay,
give them away? Aready lost? Money doesn't really matter. Yeah,
spent the money.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Twenty nine bucks and we'll sign a couple. The first
ten will.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Sign random maybe in the back, sign on the back.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Back Yeah, bit so they Yeah, get them quick in
time for Christmas. That was the whole objective. We wanted
to try and get these out the door ready to
make people's Christmas morning just that little bit more specially.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I can't wait for all the husbands to come at
us and be like, how do you just look? Christmas
ruined my Christmas with this thing. Speaking of husbands, Yes,
I met a doting fan yesterday. Oh at the cafe.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
It doesn't happen often, not every now and then, not
for me, But how did yours unfold?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I was having breakfast with Macie Well, she was having
a marshmallow different and she had two kids, beautiful kids.
Sorry I just did a terrible to do that again.
And she was coming out she said, oh, I love
the podcast, and I was like, oh, thank you. She
goes I listened to it all the time, and I
was like, thank you so much. That means well, and
(13:08):
it does. And then she said, oh, my husband hates you,
and I was like, what emotion? Maybe not hate?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Emotional rollercoaster.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
That's what I heard. I heard my husband hates you,
and for what reason? Because apparently where all she talks
about ding ding.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Ding ding a little bit jealous?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Well, jealousy is an ugly color.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
My friend, he is get her a calendar.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm going to find out who she is, and I'm
going to give her a calendar delivered. We should deliver
it to a house I can leave it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
We're not going to do it on Christmas morning.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I'll find out. She must be local to me because
it's a cafe we always go where she lives. Yeah,
we'll find out. We're going to get her a calendar.
Her husband was there, No, no, okay, but she said,
I better not tell him that I ran into you.
Am I having an affair? Yeah, so shout out. I
(14:03):
didn't get your name. My bad.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
But if you're listening right now, and if she is
as big of a fan as what she says she is,
she will be listening.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
She will hunt me down, so she knows my dress.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You do live very close to the cafe I do.
I've forgot her name. There was a couple of people,
you know. The Spotify rapped came out the top fan
was someone there in the top six percent. She came
out and said, depending on how many hours of like
listening or how many episodes you listened to for the podcast,
Spotify tells you, like what percentage of a fan you are,
(14:37):
so you could be like the top one percent the
best that I found. You're confused.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I'm so confused, but I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
So Spotify wrapped.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, okay, I get that.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, yeah, Spotify. It's a understand that you listen.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
People are literally going, this.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Is too much turns off, So show me casey Elizabeth.
I just want to say she was in the top
three percent.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Well, who are the top two?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Well I did a shout out to say, who are you?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
How many hours is that? Oh that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
That is one thousand, what five hundred and thirty two minutes?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I feel so sorry for your ear drums cast to
my voice for that long.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And she said, what do I get? Get a calendar?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Bam, it's just like that. Now it was only ninety eight. Yeah,
actually today show kept one, didn't they. Yeah, so now
it's ninety seven that I was going to count.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
The bad they are running out that there's probably.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Enough of them for us to sign all of them like,
let's be honest.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, I was going to suggest that, but then I
know you hate anything, so I was like, we'll cap
it at ten five.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Now we'll go ten.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I do want to hit you up about something? Yes,
because we're now we're now well into December, right we are? Well, yeah,
Christmas is I think both. It's I'm going to say
circle roughly fifteen days away.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
What does circle mean?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Like, I'm going to say circle means like approximately.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
That's just when people say circle two thousands, like a
round about two thousand.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Of the line. Please call it. I'm just going to
google this. You ask a question, maybe I'll give you.
Don't ask.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Don't ask a question, excuse to pick your phone up.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
That you don't want to find out the answer to
killing me? So means approximately, Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
There you go?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
So you go?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
You're right? Or is that mate? Yippie always always am.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
So Christmas is very very close around the corner. Obviously,
it's a very exciting time for who everyone involved, kids, parents,
It's a great time. It's one of the I would
say arguably the best time of the entire year where
you're going except for one person, and that person is
ash Wicks. You hate Christmas. I sure should not. You
(17:00):
would have been a Christmas wrench.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I probably used hate. I don't hate it. So let's sorry.
Chairs are so fucking I hate this chair.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Okay, sorry, I bought new chairs specifically for.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You because it's like some they're a bit harsh tops.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah, they're like a rope.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I told you that I had like a massive pimple
in the back of my boil, scratched the ship out
of it.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It's not a hemorrhoid, it's a boil.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
It's yes, it's hard to keep your neck on my
leg afterward.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Absolutely, you hate Christmas. But does it come from the
fact that you revealed to me as a child you
never had a Christmas tree?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah? So when I was a kid, it's not that
we never had a Christmas tree. We just didn't have
a Christian tree in our house. As that was coming
out of the mouth. That was dumb. So at my
place of residence, in the home that I lived in,
not an orphan, sorry, Martin. No, mine nan had the
(18:03):
Christmas tree. The more I talk, the worse of this sound.
So my grandmother had the Christmas tree at her house
because we would always go there for Christmas in the afternoon,
and then at home. We didn't have one ever, no, never, never,
not until we were like, oh, we moved to the
(18:24):
Gold Coast and Nan still lived in Sydney. She still
kept putting her Christmas tree up even though no one came.
She came.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
People were just hoping, people still came, praying.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
They'll come back. And then that's when we all of
a sudden we had to have and like we were older,
and it was more like we were getting presents for
each other more than you know, Mum and dad. It
wasn't that Mom and Dad didn't believe, like didn't like.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Well sun to cry. Okay, question the people.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Who listen to this podcast must think this is the
most complicated human being in the world.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Now, you know, Why was there ever a point when
you were younger where you would go to someone else's
house and you would see their Christmas tree. You would
then come back to your own home and go Hang
on a second.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I was never lied to about Christmas. If you've got
kids in the car and they're listening to this, yeah,
just a warning. I was never lied to about Christmas.
So is in the sand who.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Gives the gifts? Which we all know wink wink is Santa.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, what really gave away is my nan dressing up
as Santa.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Look.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I also liked that about my childhood that I was
never fucking fluffed about with that shit.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I remember being in grade one approaching my mum in
the corner of the house and being like, just tell me,
how does he do it? It's impossible. There's so many
houses and.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Working on your sucking center off.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Right, So your parents were just straight up.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
They were pretty straight up with me. Yeah, but the
neighbors kids and stuff weren't. They was still in fairyland,
so they were telling me not to tell them.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
You the person then that went around to all the
kids and being like, sorry, timmy hate to break it
to you. It doesn't fucking exist.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Yeah that's me, that was you.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No, I was just crushing dreams.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I was respectful.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I don't think you were.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
I don't even believe that. But yeah, it just it
just wasn't something that. Also, we were pretty poor in that. No,
we still celebrated Christmas. It wasn't like and I did
enjoy Christmas as a kid because I get to go
to my nan and be with my nan and stuff.
Like that, but it like wasn't something we celebrated at.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Home Christmas carols. Are you into that or not?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Really? It used to work in retail when I was
like in my teenage years. That is painful, so painful.
That another reason I also think like Christmas is like,
now I've got kids, I humor it. My wife loves it.
She Christmas. That's great. I'm not going to sit here
and completely pooh pooh on it. But I'm like, if
(21:06):
it didn't exist, I wouldn't bother me.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
It's a lot different. Have you ever had a Christmas
overseas where it's cold?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
No, the Christmas in Bali once was the best. Did
you have to see anything?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
But if you have a Christmas like being in London,
it is so depressing. The weather is so bad and
miserable that the only thing that is just giving people
any glimmer of hope, like any like just minute amount
of happiness alcohol is that and Christmas. And so I
think you have a different appreciation, yeah, for Christmas when
(21:40):
you see that, Like, if it wasn't for Christmas, people
would be in a lot worse place than what they
are right now here.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
It's just it's just busy, dude, it is busy. Look
like I said, hates a strong word. I despise it. No,
it's just I just humor it for my kids.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Now, whose idea was a Christmas tree at your place.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Where I live now?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I think it was just know Aprils. I guess if
April was like I couldn't care less, we wouldn't have one.
She's what yeah, And then when she's like, I'm going
to set it up, I'm like, like was saying, I've
got a humor because I have kids. That's it.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I set Christmas tree up.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
No, actually, I set your Christmas tree up.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Well, we did it as part of the shoot for
the calendar, not to keep plugging it.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
How many times I washed my hand and Laura.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Was like, you have to take it down, not the tree,
the decorations, because I want the kids to put it on.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
And we had that memory.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, that would tarnish what I've just created with amen.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
As soon as I say, Marley and Laura, do you
know what I set it up?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Well, Laula did a crap job. It's a nightmare trying
to get a four year old and a two year
old to put on decorations in a tree.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
April whipped out our tree on a Sunday afternoon after
we'd been like to a thirtieth the night before. I
was like why, and she was like, no, I want
the kids to do it with me. I'm like, do
it when they're not here, it's so much easier.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Or get them to do like the final decoration.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Or something like that. And I had a tally of
how many times April lost his shit and how many
times the kids lost their shit. So April lost his
shit three times kids and the kids two meltdowns between them. Yeah,
it's not bad. Odds they kept stepping on sharp things
and like ah and then that's right. Oscar went outside
to get something for the tree and makes he just
(23:28):
like shut the door on him.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
I don't know if this Christmas tree is a splurge and.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Got the one with the built in We're getting that
next time.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Fairy lights, but it freaks me out. And I'm sure
they're a lot better now, but I'm like, if that
I loves to keep them on, She like doesn't want
to turn them off at night time, and I'm like,
that's going to burn the house down. That thirty dollars
Christmas tree from Kmart.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
I wouldn't trust it. We turn hours off. Masy comes
down the stays first thing the morning she turns back on.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
It's probably not the right time to tell you Ash
as well that if you are on the Gold Coast
and you do want to get into the festive spirit
with Carrols on the beach, oh yes, on December seventeenth.
It's a Sunday, it's free.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
You're not good enough to host the Sydney Ones? Is
that what the deal is?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
The Sydney Ones. The Sydney Ones aren't is good?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
The Domain ones? You tell me I've been to.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
It's crap.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
It's a night minute go there isn't it.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
It's a nightmare. Where's this? One's on the beach surface,
Paradise Beach, So you've got to swim in you got Yeah,
you can be catching as you're singing like rid Off
the Red Nose Reindeer or whatever song that is. Yeah, okay,
when is it December seventeenth?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to
force this upon you because I know what kind of
childhood you had.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Carry on like, it's really traumatic. She'd have seen her
around Halloween Jesus.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Just an idea, mate, let it marinate.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I'm not going to go, okay, but you're going to go.
You're going to host it. I'll be there with your
beautiful long legged wife.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
So if you want to bring the kids along.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
No, okay, I'll get the rundown. We are actually on Saturday.
We're recording this now in the lead up to that
day where everyone's like, it's going to be like forty
two degrees, five hundred degrees.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Where are you going to be?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Apparently that afternoon we're doing going an avalon for some
Christmas carols. What against my will?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
That's gonna it's forty degree?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
I know, dude, you're telling me I've got to go
to something I hate in the hottest day of the year.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
What about Mazie?
Speaker 1 (25:33):
What about it?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
She said?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
What about me?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
What about you?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Really white that I'm concerned for that day?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I've turned the kitchen light on and I've looked over
and she's like, sizzling.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah, if you turn the light off. She closed, speaking
about Macy really quickly. Just on Macy, my perfect little
girl has turned. She's turned on me. The terrible Two's right,
you've got a two year old Osco wasn't bad in
the two to three in Major sort of like he
(26:06):
was just cheeky, cheeky talk back but not evil. Macy
flat out evil.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Why what has she done?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
The silent assassin? What hasn't she done? All of a
sudden last week she starts hitting, hitting who whoever is
in her way, anyone anything.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
She is so sweet. I've never heard a peep from
her hitting.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
She bit April yesterday.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Bit April. Yeah, well give me the give me the
context of the bite.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So she was trying to get to April while she
was sitting like this. Yeah, she was like on her legs,
but April was trying to do something else, and because
she wasn't picking her up, bit her on the leg.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
How do you combat that the back?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
No, that's actually I've heard that. I've heard that. Tried
to explain that to me, but I was like, don't
you fucking bite a child right in front of me.
I think she was like pretending like he's gonna think
it's a game, like.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
The other week when I farted on Marley. When she
fighted on me, Hey, I have not been fighted on
since yet.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Not probably when you're fast asleep because you never wake
up for anything. We squatted over your mouth and gone,
come on, come on cop that dad. Hitting anybody anything
in their way. Oscar especially is her favorite hit biting.
I've caught her trying to bite Oscar. She also does
this thing where she will not take no France will not.
(27:29):
So she was like strumming my guitar in the bedroom.
I was like, don't touch it, trying to be gentle,
like don't just like, don't move her away, you know,
tap her on the hands like no, no, no, turn around.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You beat your child?
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Cut that. Yeah, then like didn't listen, wouldn't listen, kept
turning around, shaking her head, tell her to get out
of the kitchen. She's just shaking her head, smiling and
shaking her head.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Evil.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
And then the other day this is the worst. So
first of all, she was me, her and Oscar were
all in bed and like she was kicking him and
he's like stop and I'm like, stop kicking. So she
leans over, grabs his hair like this right, doesn't move
(28:20):
for those at home, hands still got a fistful of
his fucking hair. Fistful, and I go, don't. She smiles
back at me. Yanks it right, down to the like
the mattress on the bed, and he just screams, and
she's like lockjaw like a staffy. I cannot get the
(28:43):
hair out of her hand. And she's smiling back at
me like I've heard of like when dogs get lockjoy
got to shove hose up their ass. I didn't know
what to do. Eventually, after my voice has gone to ten, Yeah,
(29:03):
and I was like, where has my perfect little child gone?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
She's just got to you just gotta write it out.
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Actually gonna sell her on Facebook? Marketplane? How much cheap?
Take her? Get her out of the house.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
She's a picture.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
She's so sweet. She'll come up and give your kids
on the cheek afterwards, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's weird that she's abusing your son with a smile
on her face.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, it's psychotic. She's fucking evil.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Because Marley, when she has a tantrum, she she does
it in full tantrum mode. Like it's weird, isn't it
how one goes one way and the other goes opposite.
We don't really have the evil side of Lola. She's
just like a big old like Marshmallow who's funny and cheeky.
Where is Marley? Like even now? Like last night did
were at the RSL having a beautiful dinner. Everyone's having
(29:52):
a great time. Laura's sister's there, her family chicken pump
and I had the steak Ritzy and Marley was flipping out,
like I'm talking chairs across the room. I took her
shoes off, loved her shoes across the room as well.
Wrong with them because she couldn't play the Pokey's.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
She's like the Bricki's laptop.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
She's like, I want to play the games. And I
was like, there are adult games and.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
She's like, what they call it New Zealand Nana's laptop
or something, Nana's piano. I don't know, something like that.
But what's wrong with them?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
It's just, you know, you put it perfectly, And a
lot of people were like, I agree. When you're like,
they're just drunk.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's like owning a drunk person. Yeah, they seriously don't
make any sense. They blabber, they can barely walk straight,
and then they keep at the end of it, they'll
be like, oh so much, man, it's the worst. Another
thing makes he's doing is going to sleep and then
shitting herself. That is the worst.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
It is so annoying.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
It's like performing minor surgery to like s don't wake
her up? Do you wait down there.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
With a torch in my mouth, slowly trying to likewly trying.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
To surgically remove a fucking nugget from her and then
wrapping her back up without awaken up.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It's painful. I'm sorry going through this. I want to
say it gets better, but it doesn't. Talking about random
behavior that laid on me that we're trying to figure out.
Last week we spoke about your friend who had a
child that, yes, bang their head against the mattress whenever
they went to bed, the head banger. They went to
(31:35):
the doctor. Doctor said that it's fine, they'll grow out
of there.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Several doctors.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
We've had a lot of messages come through. Firstly, a
lot of people who grew up as headbangers and now
they're adults. They say they're totally fine. Hard to read
the message.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Mistakes, that's what they say.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
They said that they did it just as a way
of comor fitting themselves. But I've got a few others.
There's one here from Emma. She says she loves the pod.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
She's a final year medical student. But she says, but
obviously this is not advice, because we never give advice.
She says it's quite common in young kids as a
way to self soothed. So she said, her dad, you
said it as a kid. But she also says it's
a type of stimming, like a repetitive motion that is
particularly common with autistic children. And apparently ash twenty percent
(32:28):
of kids do this.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Twenty percent of kids bang their head against the mattress
like that.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, yep, So nothing to be overly concerned about. In
case there are people listening that.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Look, the couple that are my friends that gave me this,
they're not overly concerned. They've been to doctors. They're like, look,
she's fine, she'll grow out of it. And apparently she
was doing it at Kinney too, and then she stopped
doing it at Kindy right, and then after a few
weeks went back to doing it. Interesting, very interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I mean, well, this case is not closed. No, we
will keep this open.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
We'll keep this open.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Be warned. I guess I don't want to encourage other
people to give us any type of question that requires
medical advice.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, this was like, oh, why not first just see.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Because it came from a friend of yours.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Act, don't send me pictures of your kids or videos
of your kids doing something like actually, why do they
do this? Because it'll be ignored, deleted unless it's really funny. Matt,
it is time for the last time.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
This year makes me upset when we say that, yes,
a little bit emotional for ordinary pairent.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
We desid in their repair, ordinary repair. We don't know
what we do. We don't know what we're doing because
we're repair man. There's a segment where people send in
their ordinary pair stories. We've been doing this for the
(34:01):
back end of the year. This is the last one.
This is the last two hundred dollars worth of budget
smoking gear we are going to give out. But at
the end of this segment there is something else that
we are willing to offer. Correct, So let's just get
to it. Let me read you my one please, and
(34:22):
then you can give me what you've got ash.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
That sounds like a great plan.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
That was the wellly constructed sentence that a man is Okay.
This one comes from Nadia and it says, I make
my son what I want for breakfast. I e yoga
granola bowl sounds good. Then she gives it straight to
him her child, which is what she wants, which is
(34:48):
what she wants. Correct, And then she makes my breakfast
aka wheat bigs, which of of course is their child's breakfast,
and then starts to eat that, and within seconds he
tries to switch it because he always wants to eat
what I mean. Yes, So they did say, look, this
is more of an ordinary parenting hack.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
It's brilliant.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
That's great. It's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Every time whenever I make for Lola, doesn't matter what
I've got, she could have neutral gain, which he loves.
As soon as I have anything in a bowl, She's like,
give me that right now.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Yeah, give it to me right now. I find that.
And I had this conversation with my mate yesterday. He
was like, I go, what are you up to you guys?
I'm just watching my kids eat younner. He goes, I
can't believe they're eating it. I was like, I know,
I like put so much effort into their food. The
other day when they sat like kids sit down at dinner,
he comes in, I just put empty plates in front
of them to see what would happen that were fine,
(35:42):
that were content, and I was like what. I was
just like not interested, and then question and I was like, nah,
I'm just kidding. And I rang their food over to
them and I was like, get out of my fucking house.
What have you got from me, Matt? Okay, this one
is usually is strong.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Okay, that's uh.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
There are any dicks in this any lube.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
No lube no. So last week's was a cracker.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's a great. Yeah, that's the best one.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
But this one is very good. It's ordinary adhd ooh, topical, topical,
so Abby says. My husband is usually mister dependable. He
literally never drops the ball when it comes to the kids.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
God tongue.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Their eldest has ADHD and he's always losing stuff so
mainly his drink bottle is Jumpers, et cetera. He gets
it all and in a rare moment of negligence from.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
The dad, well said, thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
He has forgotten to pack the son's lunchbox.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Another another one happens to the.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Best of us. So we sent the kid out to school,
realized that he's forgotten the lunch box. However, given his
track record, you did not want to be tarnished. He's
called the school and let's just say the kid's called Timmy.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Did you call him Timmy?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Seriously, let's call him let's call him Sam nice. He's
caught up the school and said, hey, Sam, you know
he's not very reliable. He's forgotten his lunch box and
I just want to say that, like I apologize.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
So he's flat out of his blame.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
He's got the ADHD unfortunately, Yeah, it's you know, it happens.
So he said, I'm just going to order from the
Touch shop, so please let Sam know go hungry exactly,
and Sam didn't even question it apparently when they were like,
oh Sam, because you forgot your lunch box, you got
touch shops?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Okay, what so okay, So let me the chain of
events here. He's been left to make the lunch, didn't
make the or did make lunch, we don't know, didn't
send the kid with lunch, then rings up the school
to blame his kid for forgetting the lunch.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Yeah that's great. Oh god, well, Abby, mister dependable has
gotten you tilder bucks worth a buddy smuggling.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Still dependable, but also he blanches kids for most of
the things that suck up.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Congratulations. What was the other thing we have to offer? Ash? Yes,
so this is red hot, hot off the press.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Hot off the press being Christmas being summer. Okay, why
not go out get yourself a fresh pair of budgies,
maybe some matching budgies with the whole family, because they
come in women's, men's, kids, even dogs now have leads.
Why not? Or if you want to treat your dad,
there's some tinny holders.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Can I just say Marley and Lola love love their
little leg watermelon ones. Yeah, the pineapple ones they've got
like three.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Now, they've got heaps, heaps, heaps heaps matching. Get it
done with our twenty percent discount sight wide?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Should I do it?
Speaker 4 (38:56):
And they're like, we've gone crazy here at two dining dads,
dog leashes, kids, swimwear, even mom and dad's budget smugglers,
they're all going to race out the door.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Twenty percent of sales, sales, sale, everything must go.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Buddy, Smuggler's closing down.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
So the code will be No, they're not sorry. All
the employees a budge going, oh my god, is how
you're telling what's happened? Just fight everyone? Fact. So let's
treat yourself. It is. The code is actually valid until
Christmas Eve. So if you want that last minute present,
it is two doting dads is the code, will leave
(39:41):
it in the show not.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And do you know what the most exciting thing is? Ah?
Well that twenty nine bark calendar. Oh hang on.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
So we're going to lose more money. Great?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Fuck, I'm just so stupid.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Do you want to know what the difference is? So
we want to know? Take six dollars off a chair.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
All right, mister smarty pants.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
It's not exactly not bad.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
But'son who dropped out of school? Fifteen six dollars off?
So twenty three bars for the calendar.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That's beautiful. So plus maybe add fifty dollars make some
money back. But anyway, that's it for that segment for
this year. We'll leave you with that discount code. Share
it to whoever you like, enjoy. If you want to
buy me some, go for it. But let's move on now.
Two questions.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
A couple of questions before we wrap up this episode.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
This is in our final episode for the year, but
it's a final segment of ordinary parents might do something special.
Next week we'll come up with something that.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
We should do. Okay, for next week's episode, do it naked.
I want to know best meltdowns?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Oh yeah, send us your best meltdown.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So, for example, from today's episode, Marley not being able
to play the Pokey's at the rsl L.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
That's a random one too, I mean, I get it
the lights. Next, you'd be like I wanted to bet
on that miss the jump just over there on the
dish liquors.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
What's the dish lickuer dogs?
Speaker 1 (41:08):
You'll get there.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Okay, listen the questions, Ash, I've got one here. This
one is from Shannon Shan. Shout out to Shannon.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Shout out to Shan.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
She wants to know, Ash, is it difficult managing sending
your boy oscar to two different daycares for example, like
friends and cares, et cetera. Do you have any tips?
Have tips like why do you send your boys to
two different daycares?
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Idea? Actually, we should probably call my wife. Should be
my wife, Okay.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Let's call it. But if we ask her to be
on the pode, you'll say no.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
So we'll just pretend that we're just chatting, so she
knows that we're recording today. But we'll just give a.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Call and we'll just put it on. Hold her up
to the microphone.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Okay, okay, let's do that. Hi, Hey, how you go on?
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Are you good?
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Good? Hey? Sorry to bully. That quick question that's actually
asked me a really important question and I don't know
the ANSWER's sect standard. Why do we send Oscar to
two different daycares?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Because they're two different ones a preschool and one's a daycare?
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Okay, is there any other better? And I think I
think preschool?
Speaker 2 (42:26):
He it's pretty much like setting him up for school.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Okay, it's not cheaper or something.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Oh yeah, it's also free. Why it's free?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
They have some ever since COVID they announced like some
funding thing and you get two three.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Days of pre school.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
So April, can you not keep them at that that
one for the whole time?
Speaker 1 (42:51):
No, they're not. You can only do two days a week.
Is that right?
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
The one his favorite one? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Favorite. I don't need this, but yeah, so that's the.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Thing that he can.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Then like they have a two day program.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
For three to four year olds and then the three
day program for the four to five year olds.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yes, I didn't know any.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Of any of this, and that's why he can only
go make them three days and it's yeah, basically like
just fitting them up for school.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
I thought they just said that. I don't want to
deal with him more than two days.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Quick question before she goes, April, Sorry, is it a
night there? Having two daycares like adjusting to two different spots,
not at all.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Well, you're not the one going to two different daycas.
He's sometimes sometimes he likes one more than the other.
I propose one over the other, So getting in to
go to the second one is a bit of right pain,
but it is what it is. I d reckon. He
says that, all right, thank you, thanks April, all right,
(43:56):
bye bye.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Well there you go.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
There you have it. But there's the answer now tips
and tricks.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Well, if you got to ask of that, oh fuck,
go back. No is it hard for you doing drop off?
Speaker 1 (44:07):
It is for like the back end of the week,
because he loves the first and front of the week
because they're all older kids and it's more of a
like a I don't know, it feels like a little
community of that age kid. Okay, then the other one
there's younger kids, you know, And.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
He does the front end of the week. At the
daycare that he.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Like the preschool, right, and then he got daycare.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Yeah, how do you manage the friends scenario? I guess
he's not really doing like playdates, is he.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Well, we haven't had a birthday yet, so yeah. Look
in the first one, he's got his clique friends that
we hang out with all the time anyway. The other one,
who's got one or two friends that he's like excited
to see when he gets there. If they're not there,
it's difficult. And sometimes there's a little bit of cross
pollination that one of the kids that he goes to
and the other one also goes to this.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
One cross pollination.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
And when the bees came flying and sorry, but yeah,
I would.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Say hanging out with knowing those kind of words.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
That's I watched the Bee movie. Yes, actually great movie.
Also Jerry Sunfeld's coming out.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
I watched Bee Movie as well. Did you graphics are
a bit shit? Also, it's weird that he's got the
hots for a woman. Sorry, we're going on a massive tangent.
Was put this back on track?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
I'm sorry. Wow, it's weird that they can talk. Ah.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Yes, do we have time for a quick question?
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Any tips I've got bribe, bribe, bribe, and the bride
doesn't work, threaten them. Okay. Next question, something a little
bit different for this one. Usually I'll ask you a question,
but I've got two really rapid fire questions from two
randoms that have come through on the d First one,
it's obviously about parenting. It's not just about life. Well,
it could be about life either that you decide yes.
(45:56):
First question is it expensive?
Speaker 2 (45:58):
Ah? Yes? Like horrendous?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Okay, enough said. Does it get any better?
Speaker 2 (46:03):
No?
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Okay, that's all good time for Thank you for the honesty, Matt.
If you've liked this episode, please feel free review, send
it to a friend, like, subscribe, follow us on Instagram,
Keep an eye out for this calendar and Matt's pubes.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Yes, keep an eye out for the month of June.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
June specifically.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
I now look at that photo and realize that why
didn't the photographer Mel, Why don't you say, hey, you
got your samtar. But if you do have any listener
questions as well, be mindful that Ash and I don't
like to give any type of medical advice, so keep
those ones to the professional. Have a crack, but anything
else send them away.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
Yes, we have one more episode this year.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Yes, what a year?
Speaker 1 (46:51):
What a what a year? And some sad news. Matt,
this will be my last episode of Two Learning Dads
this year. No waon't no, damn it, I fucked that up.
I was going to try and get another crack at that.
Na okay, I just think it. But anyway, Yes, the
(47:12):
last episode next week will be recording. Get your questions
in if you've got some good ones. Look, I'll take
the metaphor ones for Christmas. If yours kids stuck a
stuck an ornament? Other bum I want to know about.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
It's the guys next week.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Island the people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagle
Land
Yeah, yea, yea.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm still staring at a moment when I was singing upstairs.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I can't come good.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I like put an accent on.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Oh go give me, and I know I can't remember
what it.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Was I was, but I thought to myself, maybe that's
why I've never been a good singer, because I'm trying
to sing in my normal talking voice. I need to
sing in like.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
You're stuck, mama, mama.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Man?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Is that the frog singing? It? Put it murmur?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I can't think of the song, and I was upstairs
going shit. Am I about to stumble upon the fact
that I can sing?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
My imagine will release an album?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I do want to hear about your hemorrhoids. Oh yes,
but let me just do an intro and then we
can get straight into your asshole. Welcome back to two
(01:06):
doting dads.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I'm Mattie Jay and I'm as And this is a podcast,
a long one, and what she said, this is a
podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. And if
you have come wanting any advice, I'm sorry to say
that for legal reasons, we do have to make it
known that none is given in any capacity. On this
podcast zero Ash Hemorrhoids.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
I did mention to you this morning when we were
on the Today Show. For those of you who did
see little flex there, you've dropped second time this year.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
That's more times than I've ever been on anything. Yeah, look,
de Roid's back.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Is it big? Because I'm very green here in the
world of hemorrhoids? Are you pushing too hard?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Is it just think I just must be sitting there
too long? Too often? My assholes?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
A mystery you keep sending me. This is like the
second version of doing it videos of you on the
toilet where you take your shirt off as a skit.
How often do you go to the bathroom and then
have to remove remove your T shirt because cook happened?
Does that happen?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
It's a real sweaty one a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Are you saying like once a week, twice a week?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Nah, once a week? Maybe I'll get a bit hot and.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Bothered and so currently Are you in any discomfort right now?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
No, I'm right now. I haven't got to that point.
But I did shit a leaf the other day, but
just this podcast, what the fuck is going on over here?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
When we left the Today Show and we will explain
why we were on the Today Show in just a second.
But when we left, you said, I have to do
it pooh, And I said, there's a toilet, there's a
toilet around the corner. And you're like, I'm not doing it.
And it's about a half an hour. It's a half
an hour drive from where the studio is to your home.
(03:20):
How did you go in the drive home?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I said, I just have to fart it out, And
then I carried on about how I love farting the
car because it mixes with the air.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
What is wrong with when it reverberates off the leather?
But yeah, you did poo out a leaf.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
It was a full leaf, look like a maple leaf
or kind of leaf. Like I didn't go and inspect it,
like a eucalyptus fucking leaf.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Though, what have you been eating?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I don't know, don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
How do you know it was a leaf? It was
very scratched on the way out.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
No, no, it's separated from the main pile. Oh my god,
what is coming out of my mouth? And floated to
the surface and it was I could still see the
veins in it. Oh my God, please ignore anything I've
just said. Do not let that judge let you do it?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Will you go to the doctor?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
No, yea, I will actually yep.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Sorry, come on mate, come on, Yeah, my wife booked
me a doctor's appointment, did she.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Well, I'm a man. I can't do myself. Of course,
he dig demand there.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yeah, we suck.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Well.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I am wishing you were speedy recovery.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You see it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
No, believe, I don't keep it.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I want to see the hemorrhoid.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
No, I don't even want to see.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
We're not there yet.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I don't want to see it.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I told you I'm going with the cream real blind
because I don't want to see it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I don't want to know. When we're at the point
where we can confidently show each other our hemorrhoids, that's
where that's where I've wanted to be for an entire time.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
We'll get there. We'll get there maybe.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But we have to talk about Yeah, Today's Show. Yes,
shout out to the Today Show for having a song.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
They're definitely listening after that shit talk.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
It's always we threw the idea around. We said, hey,
we've got this calendar. It's the sexiest unofficially the sexiest
calendar ever made Correct Chor Play twenty twenty four. He said,
would you have us on the show and they said absolutely,
we would love to, and ASHNEI said, it could be
funny if we come on in bathrobes, budges underneath and
(05:32):
new Balance sneakers, New Balance sneakers extra wide with the
white sock high sock, non angler midigh and mid high sock.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's an awkward length sock.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It is who was binding you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It's meant to be a full length white sock. Okay,
but Dad's bought it and he's bought the six to
eight size instead of the eight.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
When they slipped down.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
To people were looking at us, like, what the hell
are these two guys? To poor cleaner, I said, I'll
bring some cleaning equipment. So I rock up and you
have to come from the basement up to the reception.
You sign in, and I have a mop and I
have the dust. And as I'm coming towards the main
reception desk, I spot the cleaner who's there with a
(06:14):
trolley and her mop bucket. She looks at me. I
look at her, and she's like.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Get off my territory. The studio is only big enough
for the one of us.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
People must yeah, very confused.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
She probably thought, is this how they tell me that
I've been like?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
She didn't. She looked panicked. She was she had the
look of fear in her eye, and I had to
kind of say, like, don't worry, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
She've been working all night.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
The place looks great. Yeah, bang up, job, I don't
know what I'm doing here. But then it was also
weird that we're on morning TV in our budgies. But
also the segment before us they.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Had I think he was a.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Foreign corresponding like he was talking about war overseas, very
serious topic.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Oh yeah, we're talking about the Ukraine? Were they?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
When we correct, like what's going to happen with the war?
Where we at? And then a weird gear shift to
then cut to you and me on the couch and
bathrobes with new BALANCEI.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
What about him as a guest, and then seeing the
other guest, thinking this is where I'm being in bad
to these two guys half naked.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
The guy who was I think I recognize him. He's
a pretty serious journalist.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I have seen him. Yeah, and we're in the green
room and you in the green room.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
He must have looked at us and just been like.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Fuck, what's going on? Yeah, joke's on you, bro. We're
getting paid the same.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
The calendar.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yes, Matt has got the proto type oh yeah, and
then over to you didn't know it was my birthday
with all his cake? Oh yeah, that is okay, glossy.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
So people, I've had countless people message me as everyone
is just hitting me up. I can't even leave the
house without someone harassing me and going when's the calendar
going to be available?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So when this comes out.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes, the calendar will be available for sale. I have
to say I'm going to preface this and say that
there's only one hundred. Yes, it's one hundred available to.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Be that's the ten that I buy for myself.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Your grandma, NaN's getting one, NaN's getting one. These are
a collector's item. They are hot property. They will it's
not a matter of if it's when they sell out.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
If you want to chuck your breakfast stuff every morning,
get one of these.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
There is an account. It doesn't have a profile picture.
They have messaged me five times being like me wanting
to know where the calendar is and we can confirm
that if you would like to buy a calendar, it
is on the Budgy smuggler website. Yes, turns out calendars
(08:51):
are not cheap to make. I fucked up. I got
a quote for like ten bucks and then and the
guy was like, oh, do you want to double sided?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
And I was like, who's going to get a one
sided calendar?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah? So double sided? Double the price.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah, funny man.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
They are costing us also, so late in the day
to have this idea to get it ready for Christmas,
costing us about twenty We're going to lose money. This
is a terrible business venture.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
We owe it to the people, the mothers, Yes, the
mothers and the wives who listen to us. We owe
it to them.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
How much do you want to sell it for? Like
twenty two hundred dollars?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
We have to work that out, but not March twenty.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Parents don't have a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I feel like in the world of calendars, I've done
some research, it's a very wide net in terms of pricing.
Cheaper ones are ten bucks, expensive ones are forty bucks.
I don't know how the pricing works. A friend's calendar
is ten bucks like Friends, Friends TV shows.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
It should be more because Matt's dead now, Matthew Perry.
I mean that is a collectors It is a collect design.
It is from cotton.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
That's we're now competing against the friend's calendar industry, which
is hot property out everywhere.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I yesterday saw there was a booth at the shopping
center near my place. Shout out to worlwid Square. They're
not sponsoring the oudside. I'm just saying that. And it's
outside of Woolies. That's where they get. Yeah, and it
was the fire and calendar, but they've changed it up
a bit now because obviously not too sexy. It's sexy still,
but there's other options. There's like a dog option and
(10:30):
there was another option I didn't.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
So depending on what kind of level of sex that
you want, you can go like mid level sex with
a puppy, or you can go full on hornbag, you.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Go beast reality.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Do you know how much is that selling for the
fireman calendar?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I had one there. It was the favorite house Fires. No,
I made that up. That would be funny though. That's
the thing. I sort of cruised pass. You didn't check
the price I didn't want to get too close case.
I tried to sell one to me and it was
a very handsome.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It was like it was a booth.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
It was a booth.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh ship. So the firemen with their where this is.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Like imagine if that was your They're like, congratulations, you're
now a fireman. But get you're too good looking. You
have to actually stand at Warrwood Shopping Center and sell
the calendars.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Of all the real fire there's a house on fire.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
No no, no, not you. He's like trying to blow it
out with calendar.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Well I was going to say, maybe maybe you didn't
want to have any competition there, because the world of
calendars very competitive. I know.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I was going to walk past and like push his
stall over and like, ll just take off. Good thing.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I didn't because the firemen have had they've had like
a choke hold on the industry. They have for a
very long time. As of now, as of getting.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Ready, sexy firemen, there's a couple of sexy house dads
come in your way.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
They're panicking house husbands. So I'm thinking twenty nine bucks.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah that's pretty good. Okay, happy with that whatever, Okay,
give them away? Aready lost? Money doesn't really matter. Yeah,
spent the money.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Twenty nine bucks and we'll sign a couple. The first
ten will.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Sign random maybe in the back, sign on the back.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Back Yeah, bit so they Yeah, get them quick in
time for Christmas. That was the whole objective. We wanted
to try and get these out the door ready to
make people's Christmas morning just that little bit more specially.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I can't wait for all the husbands to come at
us and be like, how do you just look? Christmas
ruined my Christmas with this thing. Speaking of husbands, Yes,
I met a doting fan yesterday. Oh at the cafe.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
It doesn't happen often, not every now and then, not
for me, But how did yours unfold?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I was having breakfast with Macie Well, she was having
a marshmallow different and she had two kids, beautiful kids.
Sorry I just did a terrible to do that again.
And she was coming out she said, oh, I love
the podcast, and I was like, oh, thank you. She
goes I listened to it all the time, and I
was like, thank you so much. That means well, and
(13:08):
it does. And then she said, oh, my husband hates you,
and I was like, what emotion? Maybe not hate?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Emotional rollercoaster.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
That's what I heard. I heard my husband hates you,
and for what reason? Because apparently where all she talks
about ding ding.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Ding ding a little bit jealous?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Well, jealousy is an ugly color.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
My friend, he is get her a calendar.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm going to find out who she is, and I'm
going to give her a calendar delivered. We should deliver
it to a house I can leave it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
We're not going to do it on Christmas morning.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I'll find out. She must be local to me because
it's a cafe we always go where she lives. Yeah,
we'll find out. We're going to get her a calendar.
Her husband was there, No, no, okay, but she said,
I better not tell him that I ran into you.
Am I having an affair? Yeah, so shout out. I
(14:03):
didn't get your name. My bad.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
But if you're listening right now, and if she is
as big of a fan as what she says she is,
she will be listening.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
She will hunt me down, so she knows my dress.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You do live very close to the cafe I do.
I've forgot her name. There was a couple of people,
you know. The Spotify rapped came out the top fan
was someone there in the top six percent. She came
out and said, depending on how many hours of like
listening or how many episodes you listened to for the podcast,
Spotify tells you, like what percentage of a fan you are,
(14:37):
so you could be like the top one percent the
best that I found. You're confused.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I'm so confused, but I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
So Spotify wrapped.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, okay, I get that.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, yeah, Spotify. It's a understand that you listen.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
People are literally going, this.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Is too much turns off, So show me casey Elizabeth.
I just want to say she was in the top
three percent.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Well, who are the top two?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Well I did a shout out to say, who are you?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
How many hours is that? Oh that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
That is one thousand, what five hundred and thirty two minutes?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I feel so sorry for your ear drums cast to
my voice for that long.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And she said, what do I get? Get a calendar?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Bam, it's just like that. Now it was only ninety eight. Yeah,
actually today show kept one, didn't they. Yeah, so now
it's ninety seven that I was going to count.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
The bad they are running out that there's probably.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Enough of them for us to sign all of them like,
let's be honest.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, I was going to suggest that, but then I
know you hate anything, so I was like, we'll cap
it at ten five.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Now we'll go ten.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I do want to hit you up about something? Yes,
because we're now we're now well into December, right we are? Well, yeah,
Christmas is I think both. It's I'm going to say
circle roughly fifteen days away.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
What does circle mean?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Like, I'm going to say circle means like approximately.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
That's just when people say circle two thousands, like a
round about two thousand.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Of the line. Please call it. I'm just going to
google this. You ask a question, maybe I'll give you.
Don't ask.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Don't ask a question, excuse to pick your phone up.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
That you don't want to find out the answer to
killing me? So means approximately, Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
There you go?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
So you go?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
You're right? Or is that mate? Yippie always always am.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
So Christmas is very very close around the corner. Obviously,
it's a very exciting time for who everyone involved, kids, parents,
It's a great time. It's one of the I would
say arguably the best time of the entire year where
you're going except for one person, and that person is
ash Wicks. You hate Christmas. I sure should not. You
(17:00):
would have been a Christmas wrench.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I probably used hate. I don't hate it. So let's sorry.
Chairs are so fucking I hate this chair.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Okay, sorry, I bought new chairs specifically for.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You because it's like some they're a bit harsh tops.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah, they're like a rope.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I told you that I had like a massive pimple
in the back of my boil, scratched the ship out
of it.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It's not a hemorrhoid, it's a boil.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
It's yes, it's hard to keep your neck on my
leg afterward.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Absolutely, you hate Christmas. But does it come from the
fact that you revealed to me as a child you
never had a Christmas tree?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah? So when I was a kid, it's not that
we never had a Christmas tree. We just didn't have
a Christian tree in our house. As that was coming
out of the mouth. That was dumb. So at my
place of residence, in the home that I lived in,
not an orphan, sorry, Martin. No, mine nan had the
(18:03):
Christmas tree. The more I talk, the worse of this sound.
So my grandmother had the Christmas tree at her house
because we would always go there for Christmas in the afternoon,
and then at home. We didn't have one ever, no, never, never,
not until we were like, oh, we moved to the
(18:24):
Gold Coast and Nan still lived in Sydney. She still
kept putting her Christmas tree up even though no one came.
She came.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
People were just hoping, people still came, praying.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
They'll come back. And then that's when we all of
a sudden we had to have and like we were older,
and it was more like we were getting presents for
each other more than you know, Mum and dad. It
wasn't that Mom and Dad didn't believe, like didn't like.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Well sun to cry. Okay, question the people.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Who listen to this podcast must think this is the
most complicated human being in the world.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Now, you know, Why was there ever a point when
you were younger where you would go to someone else's
house and you would see their Christmas tree. You would
then come back to your own home and go Hang
on a second.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I was never lied to about Christmas. If you've got
kids in the car and they're listening to this, yeah,
just a warning. I was never lied to about Christmas.
So is in the sand who.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Gives the gifts? Which we all know wink wink is Santa.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, what really gave away is my nan dressing up
as Santa.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Look.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I also liked that about my childhood that I was
never fucking fluffed about with that shit.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I remember being in grade one approaching my mum in
the corner of the house and being like, just tell me,
how does he do it? It's impossible. There's so many
houses and.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Working on your sucking center off.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Right, So your parents were just straight up.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
They were pretty straight up with me. Yeah, but the
neighbors kids and stuff weren't. They was still in fairyland,
so they were telling me not to tell them.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
You the person then that went around to all the
kids and being like, sorry, timmy hate to break it
to you. It doesn't fucking exist.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Yeah that's me, that was you.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No, I was just crushing dreams.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I was respectful.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I don't think you were.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
I don't even believe that. But yeah, it just it
just wasn't something that. Also, we were pretty poor in that. No,
we still celebrated Christmas. It wasn't like and I did
enjoy Christmas as a kid because I get to go
to my nan and be with my nan and stuff.
Like that, but it like wasn't something we celebrated at.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Home Christmas carols. Are you into that or not?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Really? It used to work in retail when I was
like in my teenage years. That is painful, so painful.
That another reason I also think like Christmas is like,
now I've got kids, I humor it. My wife loves it.
She Christmas. That's great. I'm not going to sit here
and completely pooh pooh on it. But I'm like, if
(21:06):
it didn't exist, I wouldn't bother me.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
It's a lot different. Have you ever had a Christmas
overseas where it's cold?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
No, the Christmas in Bali once was the best. Did
you have to see anything?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
But if you have a Christmas like being in London,
it is so depressing. The weather is so bad and
miserable that the only thing that is just giving people
any glimmer of hope, like any like just minute amount
of happiness alcohol is that and Christmas. And so I
think you have a different appreciation, yeah, for Christmas when
(21:40):
you see that, Like, if it wasn't for Christmas, people
would be in a lot worse place than what they
are right now here.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
It's just it's just busy, dude, it is busy. Look
like I said, hates a strong word. I despise it. No,
it's just I just humor it for my kids.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Now, whose idea was a Christmas tree at your place.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Where I live now?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I think it was just know Aprils. I guess if
April was like I couldn't care less, we wouldn't have one.
She's what yeah, And then when she's like, I'm going
to set it up, I'm like, like was saying, I've
got a humor because I have kids. That's it.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I set Christmas tree up.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
No, actually, I set your Christmas tree up.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Well, we did it as part of the shoot for
the calendar, not to keep plugging it.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
How many times I washed my hand and Laura.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Was like, you have to take it down, not the tree,
the decorations, because I want the kids to put it on.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
And we had that memory.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, that would tarnish what I've just created with amen.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
As soon as I say, Marley and Laura, do you
know what I set it up?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Well, Laula did a crap job. It's a nightmare trying
to get a four year old and a two year
old to put on decorations in a tree.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
April whipped out our tree on a Sunday afternoon after
we'd been like to a thirtieth the night before. I
was like why, and she was like, no, I want
the kids to do it with me. I'm like, do
it when they're not here, it's so much easier.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Or get them to do like the final decoration.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Or something like that. And I had a tally of
how many times April lost his shit and how many
times the kids lost their shit. So April lost his
shit three times kids and the kids two meltdowns between them. Yeah,
it's not bad. Odds they kept stepping on sharp things
and like ah and then that's right. Oscar went outside
to get something for the tree and makes he just
(23:28):
like shut the door on him.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
I don't know if this Christmas tree is a splurge and.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Got the one with the built in We're getting that
next time.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Fairy lights, but it freaks me out. And I'm sure
they're a lot better now, but I'm like, if that
I loves to keep them on, She like doesn't want
to turn them off at night time, and I'm like,
that's going to burn the house down. That thirty dollars
Christmas tree from Kmart.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
I wouldn't trust it. We turn hours off. Masy comes
down the stays first thing the morning she turns back on.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
It's probably not the right time to tell you Ash
as well that if you are on the Gold Coast
and you do want to get into the festive spirit
with Carrols on the beach, oh yes, on December seventeenth.
It's a Sunday, it's free.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
You're not good enough to host the Sydney Ones? Is
that what the deal is?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
The Sydney Ones. The Sydney Ones aren't is good?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
The Domain ones? You tell me I've been to.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
It's crap.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
It's a night minute go there isn't it.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
It's a nightmare. Where's this? One's on the beach surface,
Paradise Beach, So you've got to swim in you got Yeah,
you can be catching as you're singing like rid Off
the Red Nose Reindeer or whatever song that is. Yeah, okay,
when is it December seventeenth?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to
force this upon you because I know what kind of
childhood you had.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Carry on like, it's really traumatic. She'd have seen her
around Halloween Jesus.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Just an idea, mate, let it marinate.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I'm not going to go, okay, but you're going to go.
You're going to host it. I'll be there with your
beautiful long legged wife.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
So if you want to bring the kids along.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
No, okay, I'll get the rundown. We are actually on Saturday.
We're recording this now in the lead up to that
day where everyone's like, it's going to be like forty
two degrees, five hundred degrees.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Where are you going to be?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Apparently that afternoon we're doing going an avalon for some
Christmas carols. What against my will?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
That's gonna it's forty degree?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
I know, dude, you're telling me I've got to go
to something I hate in the hottest day of the year.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
What about Mazie?
Speaker 1 (25:33):
What about it?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
She said?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
What about me?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
What about you?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Really white that I'm concerned for that day?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I've turned the kitchen light on and I've looked over
and she's like, sizzling.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah, if you turn the light off. She closed, speaking
about Macy really quickly. Just on Macy, my perfect little
girl has turned. She's turned on me. The terrible Two's right,
you've got a two year old Osco wasn't bad in
the two to three in Major sort of like he
(26:06):
was just cheeky, cheeky talk back but not evil. Macy
flat out evil.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Why what has she done?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
The silent assassin? What hasn't she done? All of a
sudden last week she starts hitting, hitting who whoever is
in her way, anyone anything.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
She is so sweet. I've never heard a peep from
her hitting.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
She bit April yesterday.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Bit April. Yeah, well give me the give me the
context of the bite.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So she was trying to get to April while she
was sitting like this. Yeah, she was like on her legs,
but April was trying to do something else, and because
she wasn't picking her up, bit her on the leg.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
How do you combat that the back?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
No, that's actually I've heard that. I've heard that. Tried
to explain that to me, but I was like, don't
you fucking bite a child right in front of me.
I think she was like pretending like he's gonna think
it's a game, like.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
The other week when I farted on Marley. When she
fighted on me, Hey, I have not been fighted on
since yet.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Not probably when you're fast asleep because you never wake
up for anything. We squatted over your mouth and gone,
come on, come on cop that dad. Hitting anybody anything
in their way. Oscar especially is her favorite hit biting.
I've caught her trying to bite Oscar. She also does
this thing where she will not take no France will not.
(27:29):
So she was like strumming my guitar in the bedroom.
I was like, don't touch it, trying to be gentle,
like don't just like, don't move her away, you know,
tap her on the hands like no, no, no, turn around.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You beat your child?
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Cut that. Yeah, then like didn't listen, wouldn't listen, kept
turning around, shaking her head, tell her to get out
of the kitchen. She's just shaking her head, smiling and
shaking her head.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Evil.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
And then the other day this is the worst. So
first of all, she was me, her and Oscar were
all in bed and like she was kicking him and
he's like stop and I'm like, stop kicking. So she
leans over, grabs his hair like this right, doesn't move
(28:20):
for those at home, hands still got a fistful of
his fucking hair. Fistful, and I go, don't. She smiles
back at me. Yanks it right, down to the like
the mattress on the bed, and he just screams, and
she's like lockjaw like a staffy. I cannot get the
(28:43):
hair out of her hand. And she's smiling back at
me like I've heard of like when dogs get lockjoy
got to shove hose up their ass. I didn't know
what to do. Eventually, after my voice has gone to ten, Yeah,
(29:03):
and I was like, where has my perfect little child gone?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
She's just got to you just gotta write it out.
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Actually gonna sell her on Facebook? Marketplane? How much cheap?
Take her? Get her out of the house.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
She's a picture.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
She's so sweet. She'll come up and give your kids
on the cheek afterwards, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's weird that she's abusing your son with a smile
on her face.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, it's psychotic. She's fucking evil.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Because Marley, when she has a tantrum, she she does
it in full tantrum mode. Like it's weird, isn't it
how one goes one way and the other goes opposite.
We don't really have the evil side of Lola. She's
just like a big old like Marshmallow who's funny and cheeky.
Where is Marley? Like even now? Like last night did
were at the RSL having a beautiful dinner. Everyone's having
(29:52):
a great time. Laura's sister's there, her family chicken pump
and I had the steak Ritzy and Marley was flipping out,
like I'm talking chairs across the room. I took her
shoes off, loved her shoes across the room as well.
Wrong with them because she couldn't play the Pokey's.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
She's like the Bricki's laptop.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
She's like, I want to play the games. And I
was like, there are adult games and.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
She's like, what they call it New Zealand Nana's laptop
or something, Nana's piano. I don't know, something like that.
But what's wrong with them?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
It's just, you know, you put it perfectly, And a
lot of people were like, I agree. When you're like,
they're just drunk.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's like owning a drunk person. Yeah, they seriously don't
make any sense. They blabber, they can barely walk straight,
and then they keep at the end of it, they'll
be like, oh so much, man, it's the worst. Another
thing makes he's doing is going to sleep and then
shitting herself. That is the worst.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
It is so annoying.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
It's like performing minor surgery to like s don't wake
her up? Do you wait down there.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
With a torch in my mouth, slowly trying to likewly trying.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
To surgically remove a fucking nugget from her and then
wrapping her back up without awaken up.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It's painful. I'm sorry going through this. I want to
say it gets better, but it doesn't. Talking about random
behavior that laid on me that we're trying to figure out.
Last week we spoke about your friend who had a
child that, yes, bang their head against the mattress whenever
they went to bed, the head banger. They went to
(31:35):
the doctor. Doctor said that it's fine, they'll grow out
of there.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Several doctors.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
We've had a lot of messages come through. Firstly, a
lot of people who grew up as headbangers and now
they're adults. They say they're totally fine. Hard to read
the message.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Mistakes, that's what they say.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
They said that they did it just as a way
of comor fitting themselves. But I've got a few others.
There's one here from Emma. She says she loves the pod.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
She's a final year medical student. But she says, but
obviously this is not advice, because we never give advice.
She says it's quite common in young kids as a
way to self soothed. So she said, her dad, you
said it as a kid. But she also says it's
a type of stimming, like a repetitive motion that is
particularly common with autistic children. And apparently ash twenty percent
(32:28):
of kids do this.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Twenty percent of kids bang their head against the mattress
like that.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, yep, So nothing to be overly concerned about. In
case there are people listening that.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Look, the couple that are my friends that gave me this,
they're not overly concerned. They've been to doctors. They're like, look,
she's fine, she'll grow out of it. And apparently she
was doing it at Kinney too, and then she stopped
doing it at Kindy right, and then after a few
weeks went back to doing it. Interesting, very interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I mean, well, this case is not closed. No, we
will keep this open.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
We'll keep this open.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Be warned. I guess I don't want to encourage other
people to give us any type of question that requires
medical advice.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, this was like, oh, why not first just see.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Because it came from a friend of yours.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Act, don't send me pictures of your kids or videos
of your kids doing something like actually, why do they
do this? Because it'll be ignored, deleted unless it's really funny. Matt,
it is time for the last time.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
This year makes me upset when we say that, yes,
a little bit emotional for ordinary pairent.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
We desid in their repair, ordinary repair. We don't know
what we do. We don't know what we're doing because
we're repair man. There's a segment where people send in
their ordinary pair stories. We've been doing this for the
(34:01):
back end of the year. This is the last one.
This is the last two hundred dollars worth of budget
smoking gear we are going to give out. But at
the end of this segment there is something else that
we are willing to offer. Correct, So let's just get
to it. Let me read you my one please, and
(34:22):
then you can give me what you've got ash.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
That sounds like a great plan.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
That was the wellly constructed sentence that a man is Okay.
This one comes from Nadia and it says, I make
my son what I want for breakfast. I e yoga
granola bowl sounds good. Then she gives it straight to
him her child, which is what she wants, which is
(34:48):
what she wants. Correct, And then she makes my breakfast
aka wheat bigs, which of of course is their child's breakfast,
and then starts to eat that, and within seconds he
tries to switch it because he always wants to eat
what I mean. Yes, So they did say, look, this
is more of an ordinary parenting hack.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
It's brilliant.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
That's great. It's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Every time whenever I make for Lola, doesn't matter what
I've got, she could have neutral gain, which he loves.
As soon as I have anything in a bowl, She's like,
give me that right now.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Yeah, give it to me right now. I find that.
And I had this conversation with my mate yesterday. He
was like, I go, what are you up to you guys?
I'm just watching my kids eat younner. He goes, I
can't believe they're eating it. I was like, I know,
I like put so much effort into their food. The
other day when they sat like kids sit down at dinner,
he comes in, I just put empty plates in front
of them to see what would happen that were fine,
(35:42):
that were content, and I was like what. I was
just like not interested, and then question and I was like, nah,
I'm just kidding. And I rang their food over to
them and I was like, get out of my fucking house.
What have you got from me, Matt? Okay, this one
is usually is strong.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Okay, that's uh.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
There are any dicks in this any lube.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
No lube no. So last week's was a cracker.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's a great. Yeah, that's the best one.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
But this one is very good. It's ordinary adhd ooh, topical, topical,
so Abby says. My husband is usually mister dependable. He
literally never drops the ball when it comes to the kids.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
God tongue.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Their eldest has ADHD and he's always losing stuff so
mainly his drink bottle is Jumpers, et cetera. He gets
it all and in a rare moment of negligence from.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
The dad, well said, thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
He has forgotten to pack the son's lunchbox.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Another another one happens to the.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Best of us. So we sent the kid out to school,
realized that he's forgotten the lunch box. However, given his
track record, you did not want to be tarnished. He's
called the school and let's just say the kid's called Timmy.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Did you call him Timmy?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Seriously, let's call him let's call him Sam nice. He's
caught up the school and said, hey, Sam, you know
he's not very reliable. He's forgotten his lunch box and
I just want to say that, like I apologize.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
So he's flat out of his blame.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
He's got the ADHD unfortunately, Yeah, it's you know, it happens.
So he said, I'm just going to order from the
Touch shop, so please let Sam know go hungry exactly,
and Sam didn't even question it apparently when they were like,
oh Sam, because you forgot your lunch box, you got
touch shops?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Okay, what so okay, So let me the chain of
events here. He's been left to make the lunch, didn't
make the or did make lunch, we don't know, didn't
send the kid with lunch, then rings up the school
to blame his kid for forgetting the lunch.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Yeah that's great. Oh god, well, Abby, mister dependable has
gotten you tilder bucks worth a buddy smuggling.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Still dependable, but also he blanches kids for most of
the things that suck up.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Congratulations. What was the other thing we have to offer? Ash? Yes,
so this is red hot, hot off the press.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Hot off the press being Christmas being summer. Okay, why
not go out get yourself a fresh pair of budgies,
maybe some matching budgies with the whole family, because they
come in women's, men's, kids, even dogs now have leads.
Why not? Or if you want to treat your dad,
there's some tinny holders.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Can I just say Marley and Lola love love their
little leg watermelon ones. Yeah, the pineapple ones they've got
like three.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Now, they've got heaps, heaps, heaps heaps matching. Get it
done with our twenty percent discount sight wide?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Should I do it?
Speaker 4 (38:56):
And they're like, we've gone crazy here at two dining dads,
dog leashes, kids, swimwear, even mom and dad's budget smugglers,
they're all going to race out the door.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Twenty percent of sales, sales, sale, everything must go.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Buddy, Smuggler's closing down.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
So the code will be No, they're not sorry. All
the employees a budge going, oh my god, is how
you're telling what's happened? Just fight everyone? Fact. So let's
treat yourself. It is. The code is actually valid until
Christmas Eve. So if you want that last minute present,
it is two doting dads is the code, will leave
(39:41):
it in the show not.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And do you know what the most exciting thing is? Ah?
Well that twenty nine bark calendar. Oh hang on.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
So we're going to lose more money. Great?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Fuck, I'm just so stupid.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Do you want to know what the difference is? So
we want to know? Take six dollars off a chair.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
All right, mister smarty pants.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
It's not exactly not bad.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
But'son who dropped out of school? Fifteen six dollars off?
So twenty three bars for the calendar.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That's beautiful. So plus maybe add fifty dollars make some
money back. But anyway, that's it for that segment for
this year. We'll leave you with that discount code. Share
it to whoever you like, enjoy. If you want to
buy me some, go for it. But let's move on now.
Two questions.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
A couple of questions before we wrap up this episode.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
This is in our final episode for the year, but
it's a final segment of ordinary parents might do something special.
Next week we'll come up with something that.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
We should do. Okay, for next week's episode, do it naked.
I want to know best meltdowns?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Oh yeah, send us your best meltdown.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So, for example, from today's episode, Marley not being able
to play the Pokey's at the rsl L.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
That's a random one too, I mean, I get it
the lights. Next, you'd be like I wanted to bet
on that miss the jump just over there on the
dish liquors.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
What's the dish lickuer dogs?
Speaker 1 (41:08):
You'll get there.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Okay, listen the questions, Ash, I've got one here. This
one is from Shannon Shan. Shout out to Shannon.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Shout out to Shan.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
She wants to know, Ash, is it difficult managing sending
your boy oscar to two different daycares for example, like
friends and cares, et cetera. Do you have any tips?
Have tips like why do you send your boys to
two different daycares?
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Idea? Actually, we should probably call my wife. Should be
my wife, Okay.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Let's call it. But if we ask her to be
on the pode, you'll say no.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
So we'll just pretend that we're just chatting, so she
knows that we're recording today. But we'll just give a.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Call and we'll just put it on. Hold her up
to the microphone.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Okay, okay, let's do that. Hi, Hey, how you go on?
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Are you good?
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Good? Hey? Sorry to bully. That quick question that's actually
asked me a really important question and I don't know
the ANSWER's sect standard. Why do we send Oscar to
two different daycares?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Because they're two different ones a preschool and one's a daycare?
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Okay, is there any other better? And I think I
think preschool?
Speaker 2 (42:26):
He it's pretty much like setting him up for school.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Okay, it's not cheaper or something.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Oh yeah, it's also free. Why it's free?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
They have some ever since COVID they announced like some
funding thing and you get two three.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Days of pre school.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
So April, can you not keep them at that that
one for the whole time?
Speaker 1 (42:51):
No, they're not. You can only do two days a week.
Is that right?
Speaker 4 (42:55):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
The one his favorite one? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Favorite. I don't need this, but yeah, so that's the.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Thing that he can.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Then like they have a two day program.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
For three to four year olds and then the three
day program for the four to five year olds.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yes, I didn't know any.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Of any of this, and that's why he can only
go make them three days and it's yeah, basically like
just fitting them up for school.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
I thought they just said that. I don't want to
deal with him more than two days.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Quick question before she goes, April, Sorry, is it a
night there? Having two daycares like adjusting to two different spots,
not at all.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Well, you're not the one going to two different daycas.
He's sometimes sometimes he likes one more than the other.
I propose one over the other, So getting in to
go to the second one is a bit of right pain,
but it is what it is. I d reckon. He
says that, all right, thank you, thanks April, all right,
(43:56):
bye bye.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Well there you go.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
There you have it. But there's the answer now tips
and tricks.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Well, if you got to ask of that, oh fuck,
go back. No is it hard for you doing drop off?
Speaker 1 (44:07):
It is for like the back end of the week,
because he loves the first and front of the week
because they're all older kids and it's more of a
like a I don't know, it feels like a little
community of that age kid. Okay, then the other one
there's younger kids, you know, And.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
He does the front end of the week. At the
daycare that he.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Like the preschool, right, and then he got daycare.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Yeah, how do you manage the friends scenario? I guess
he's not really doing like playdates, is he.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Well, we haven't had a birthday yet, so yeah. Look
in the first one, he's got his clique friends that
we hang out with all the time anyway. The other one,
who's got one or two friends that he's like excited
to see when he gets there. If they're not there,
it's difficult. And sometimes there's a little bit of cross
pollination that one of the kids that he goes to
and the other one also goes to this.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
One cross pollination.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
And when the bees came flying and sorry, but yeah,
I would.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Say hanging out with knowing those kind of words.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
That's I watched the Bee movie. Yes, actually great movie.
Also Jerry Sunfeld's coming out.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
I watched Bee Movie as well. Did you graphics are
a bit shit? Also, it's weird that he's got the
hots for a woman. Sorry, we're going on a massive tangent.
Was put this back on track?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
I'm sorry. Wow, it's weird that they can talk. Ah.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Yes, do we have time for a quick question?
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Any tips I've got bribe, bribe, bribe, and the bride
doesn't work, threaten them. Okay. Next question, something a little
bit different for this one. Usually I'll ask you a question,
but I've got two really rapid fire questions from two
randoms that have come through on the d First one,
it's obviously about parenting. It's not just about life. Well,
it could be about life either that you decide yes.
(45:56):
First question is it expensive?
Speaker 2 (45:58):
Ah? Yes? Like horrendous?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Okay, enough said. Does it get any better?
Speaker 2 (46:03):
No?
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Okay, that's all good time for Thank you for the honesty, Matt.
If you've liked this episode, please feel free review, send
it to a friend, like, subscribe, follow us on Instagram,
Keep an eye out for this calendar and Matt's pubes.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Yes, keep an eye out for the month of June.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
June specifically.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
I now look at that photo and realize that why
didn't the photographer Mel, Why don't you say, hey, you
got your samtar. But if you do have any listener
questions as well, be mindful that Ash and I don't
like to give any type of medical advice, so keep
those ones to the professional. Have a crack, but anything
else send them away.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
Yes, we have one more episode this year.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Yes, what a year?
Speaker 1 (46:51):
What a what a year? And some sad news. Matt,
this will be my last episode of Two Learning Dads
this year. No waon't no, damn it, I fucked that up.
I was going to try and get another crack at that.
Na okay, I just think it. But anyway, Yes, the
(47:12):
last episode next week will be recording. Get your questions
in if you've got some good ones. Look, I'll take
the metaphor ones for Christmas. If yours kids stuck a
stuck an ornament? Other bum I want to know about.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
It's the guys next week.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Island the people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagle
Land
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