Christmas Horror Stories: Snow, Santa & Slaughter

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, my spookyas It's Saturday, December thirteenth, and that means
another long night of Christmas fear. Tonight's binge starts where
the calendar has broken and the night simply won't end
out at a snow choked way station where everyone's terrified

(00:23):
of what Christmas Day brings, and the only one not
afraid of the blizzard is the woman who isn't quite human.
From there, we slip down south to a washed up
small town Santa whose breath smells like bad decisions and

(00:44):
Marlborough's until a little girl in an elf costume appears
in the parking lot. She has no mom, no dad,
and a smile that's all teeth. We'll hear a Christmas
Eve confession from a serial killer doing time feel zombies

(01:04):
crash the holidays thanks to a mad scientist and her
pet bioweapons, and follow someone who comes home for the season,
only to find the house hasn't forgotten what they did,
and neither did the dead. End up in the North Pole,

(01:25):
Santa's in full panic mode, assassin elves stolen sacred documents,
and a rogue former elf called Candy Pain who wants
to rewrite the naughty list in blood, So plug in
the tree, dim the lights, and settle in for another

(01:46):
holiday marathon of horror stories. And we'll have another one
for you next Saturday to make sure you're scared while
you wrap your presence Christmas at pendled Station by Rob Fields.
I have had much time to ponder things since my

(02:08):
birth on October thirty first, two thousand and ninety nine. First,
I would awaken in a crypt and leave it to
find my way to what was once the village of Strickfield.
I would only get to learn very little there, since
I was attacked and captured by a cowardly despot named Sarathos,

(02:28):
who would prove to be my first challenge. After defeating
him and freeing several organic women whom he captured for
an offering to hell Weaver, I received new mission files.
Currently I am en route to the Pendleton way Station.
Bear in mind that this destination is not part of

(02:49):
the village of Pendleton itself. There is a vital component
that I must acquire for when I reach my destination
in Shore City. Upon completion of my own mission objectives.
I should have arrived at Pendleton way Station many days ago,
shortly after I began my journey. I was forced to
engage a pack of werewolves in battle. After defeating them,

(03:13):
I continued on with my journey. Nearly a week later,
I determined that the sun would rise again and needed
to seek shelter. I found an abandoned dwelling and waited
the seemingly endless day out. I would have to be
with patience, since I recalled in a former life that
sunlight was deadly to me. The day began on the

(03:34):
second week of November and lasted nearly a month. Fortunately,
I do not require sustenance the way organic beings do. However,
I would require plant based nutrition in order to maintain
my skin base. Descending the basement, I discovered many bottles
of vintage wine. Scanning the bottles, I determined the wine

(03:55):
to be quite suitable and gradually consumed it. When earth
had finally moved to where the sun would finally set,
I was able to finally leave the dwelling and continue
on my journey. I walked many desolate roads and through
dense forests until I would reach the railroad tracks that
I required. I had not walked a mile upon the

(04:17):
tracks when a snowstorm began. The winds would remind me
of my birth in that crypt on Halloween night. According
to my internal clock, the day is December twenty first,
two thousand and ninety nine. Unfortunately, these random weather patterns
and long days and nights happened as a result of

(04:37):
the hell Weaver Holocaust of October thirty one, two thousand
and thirty. Hell Weaver was victorious against the Battleguard who
opposed her and conquered the multiverse using the reality sphere.
She only proved victorious because one of the battleguard turned
against her allies and joined hell Weaver. With the epicenter

(04:58):
of the hell Weaver Holocaust being being upon this world,
the Goddess herself unleashed the power of the reality sphere.
It was this event that forever altered Earth's axis. Thanks
to my advanced software, I am able to determine how
long the days, nights and weather patterns will last. The
night shall last until the first hours of December twenty fifth,

(05:20):
two thousand and ninety nine. That shall be sufficient time
for me to reach the Pendleton Way Station. This is
the first time that I have experienced winter weather since
my birth. I can feel the cold in the wind
and the snow. No organic being of this world could
endure these conditions without suitable clothing. Organics would look upon

(05:42):
me and determine that I am not adequately dressed for
these conditions. Myself, however, I am a machine. My skin
base retains its softness and composition in spite of the
negative temperatures. Even my long metallic blonde hair remains dry
and shiny. My clothing is quite wet. However, nevertheless, I

(06:05):
continue my journey and enjoy this change in the weather.
Before the weather was rainy. With the onset of the winter,
the rain has become snow. Just as I do not
require sustenance, I do not require rest. My power core
provides me with limitless energy. Again, I find myself wondering

(06:25):
why the life I feel was placed into this metallic body.
I have had many days to ponder the meaning of
my very existence. When I was in that dwelling a
waiting for the sun to descend, I was given the memories, appearance,
and powers of a vampire Treylander hybrid named Cassilia Tabon. However,
the memories are currently incomplete. By my calculations, I have

(06:50):
eighty seven percent of her total memories. The remaining memories
were likely lost when her body was left to decompose
in that crypt for two hundred and twelve years. Upon
analyzing the memories used to give me data to feed
my limitless intelligence capacity, I am unable to quickly reconstruct
the necessary algorithms to fill the gaps. When it comes

(07:12):
to the vampire half of Cassilia Tabon, I do not
possess many of the powers that she once had, such
as the ability to transmorph. I believe this is because
of the composition of my indestructible metallic form that my
skin based conceals. I regard the wintry sky and see
only the barrier, that is, the clouds which produce the

(07:32):
great winds and the seemingly endless snow across the lands.
Why am I alive? I ask? I know that my
mission is in my data banks, but yet I do
not understand why I was born as a single machine
who must live among a multitude of organics. Only the
harsh winds respond, though they do not give me the

(07:55):
answers that I seek. All I have is my mission
us accomplish several side objectives before reaching shore City and
fulfilling the final objective there. My ultimate objective will be
to engage in battle with hell Weaver and use all
the power at my disposal to prevent her from creating
this multi universal hell, even at the cost of my

(08:17):
own brief existence. I maintain my present course. When the
snow becomes too high for me to be able to
continue walking, I must make calculated jumps. This weather shall
not prevent me from reaching my first objective. The days
and hours mean nothing to me. It is into December
twenty fifth, two thousand ninety nine when I finally reach

(08:39):
the outskirts of the Pendleton Way Station. Scanning it, it
has the appearance of a fortress. A high wall protects
the dwellings and the few inhabitants within. The main gate
is just ahead. As I am ready to jump over
the wall, the main gate unlocks and begins to open.

(08:59):
It does not open all the way, however, two organic
males come through the opening and approach me. Both are
armed with weapons. You need to go away from here
at once. The left one says, if you stay, you'll
only endanger yourself and all of us. The right one adds.
I scan both of them to determine that they are

(09:20):
no match. For me. My empathic abilities tell me they
are with great fear. How would there be an endangerment
to either myself or you? I inquire. Now the two
of them regard me with confusion. Don't you know what
Christmas Day brings? The left man asks, If I knew,

(09:41):
I would not need to inquire. I return. The men
regard one another for a moment. Then the left man
gently says, we will bring you inside so you may
warm yourself, but we fear none of us shall be
safe once he comes. Once who come? I inquire? Please

(10:02):
tell me once we're inside, The right man insists, very well,
lead the way. I shall follow you. The men turn
back to the way station entrance and go inside. I
follow close behind. Seeing the inside, it looks very much
like a colony, with basic places for commerce, lodging, a restaurant,

(10:23):
a general store, and a communications office. My objective for
the Pendleton way Station highlights I am required to obtain
a vital component here and cannot continue my mission without it.
Once the main gate is sealed again, I follow the
men until I am brought to their leader's building at
the center of this colony. We ascend the stairway and

(10:44):
enter through the two doors in front. The men take
me to their leader himself. The organic man looks up
from his desk and sees me. What is the meaning
of this. The men who brought me before him explain
that they found me outside of their gates. The leader
quickly stands to his feet, and you brought her inside,

(11:05):
He moves out from behind his desk. It's bad enough
we had to send the women and children into hiding.
Now you've brought a single female before me. Now, the
leader turns and regards me. Don't you have suitable clothing? Women?
Do not worry about me. I tell him I wish
to know with whom you fear. He sneers, Now, truly, woman,

(11:28):
you are foolish if you do not know. I have
not been in existence for very long. I say, would
there be any harm in telling me? He looks me over.
You are a most unusual woman if you've been out
in that blizzard and are not affected by it, especially
when your clothing is both inadequate and wet. I am

(11:49):
not so easily overcome, I assure him. He makes the
mistake of glancing to his two men. Suddenly they come
at me, Though they are well trained to fight they
are not prepared for one such as I. The men
fall before me easily. I do not harm them in
any way, since I understand this was merely an exercise

(12:09):
to test me. The leader nods a most unusual woman. Indeed,
he regards as men leave us, only stand outside the doors.
The men nod and obey him. Now he regards me again.
Tell me you've at least heard of Santa Claus. I

(12:30):
nod once. I have memories from long ago. Mostly they
are photographs, songs, and tales. He has never been in
my presence. He is quite real. The Leader tells me.
May I have your name? I am Cassilia Tabon, and
yours I am General Rhineboldt Larst. He returns, I've only

(12:52):
been in this highest office for a year tonight. I
assumed this rank and office when our last general was
struck down by Santa Claus last Christmas. I point to
a short stack of blank white paper. May I you
May I pick up a colored pen and astonish Larst
with how quickly I can draw. When I finish, I

(13:15):
present him with the rendering of Santa Claus. As the
woman who was Graham's in a former life had shown
me this man struck your general down, he growls in frustration.
Our people may only wish Santa Claus was the jolly,
old soul of the olden days. Given your picture, I'd say,
given your apparent age, you do not know what has

(13:37):
become of Santa Claus again. Will you please tell me
that I may understand? I inquire. Larst goes behind his
desk and sits. Then he gestures for me to be seated.
I obey and await his story. He tells me that
Santa Claus was indeed the warm and jolly persona of Christmas.

(13:59):
Listening to him and recalling the memories I have of Grams,
the stories have few discrepancies. Are you familiar with the
hell Weaver Holocaust? He asks? You must at least know
that I do. Does your story begin on October thirty first,
two thousand and thirty? I return. Indeed, it does a heavy,

(14:22):
sad sigh. When hell Weaver laid waste to our world
and altered it for the worst. There were many on
this world who couldn't handle the reality of how things
would be. It was believed that Santa Claus was one
of them. Even though he lived up at the North Pole,
the blast wave from the reality sphere even reached his
part of Earth. No reason it wouldn't, since she conquered

(14:44):
the entire multiverse. He leans forward, Exactly what creatures have
you seen for yourself? I tell him that I have
regarded many, ranging from werewolves to vampires and zombified organics. Well, well,
you shall soon see Santa Claus for yourself this very night,

(15:04):
he states. Every Christmas Eve he takes to the skies
with his monstrous reindeer and mercilessly attacks and kills those
unfortunate enough to be seen by him and his reindeer.
He's even taken some of the people back to the
North Pole to use as his slaves. He mainly attacks

(15:25):
and pillages cities, villages, and way stations such as ours.
He lifts my rendering of Santa Claus. This is what
we wish he could be again. He puts the rendering
down and reaches to a control panel. View the monitor
behind me, tabon, I regard what appears to be footage

(15:46):
captured by one or more cameras or scanners. That is
Santa Claus. Now, he tells me. The man wears a
red and white suit with a stocking cap just the
same as in my drawing. However, his skin is quite
black and his eyes glow hot. If anything, he appears

(16:07):
to be greatly zombified. I will not know for certain
until I can scan him. He no longer leaves presents
for good little boys and girls, Larst says, he doesn't
even leave coal for the bad ones. No, I told
you what he does. He turns the monitor off. Now

(16:27):
the question is what do you do. I'm not a fool,
tab On. You were somehow able to survive out in
that harshest of blizzards. Yet you have come all the
way out here to Pendleton Way Station. You are not
whom you appear to be. Or perhaps you're here because
you want something. Sensing the man is not malevolent, I

(16:48):
take another piece of paper and a pen, I draw
what I am here to obtain and present that rendering
to him. He regards it for a long moment before
he responds to me again. He is with great distrust. Now,
how do you even know about the psionic warp displacer,
he asks? Our scientists worked on that in secret for

(17:11):
the last several years. Now that we've perfected it, you
want to take it from us? I would rather not
just take it from you. I would offer you something
in trade for it. Perhaps, Lars stands and comes around
his desk to stand before me. How do you know
about our device, Taban? We know you were nowhere around

(17:31):
here when it was first conceived. You would be correct.
I agree. Then I stand to face him. What is
the psionic warped displacer worth to you? Larst points to
his doors. Leave here immediately. Suddenly, his two men stationed
outside the doors enter his office. Sir, the man on

(17:53):
the left gasps, we're hearing the bells in the distance.
Santa Claus is coming. Are you and your men ready
for battle? Larst demands what few we are? Sir? The
man on the right answers, we fear we shall not
survive this conflict. I increase my audio sensors and hear

(18:16):
the very jingling bells that the two men have heard themselves.
I scan through the walls and see a vessel in
the unforgiving skies. It appears to be a large sleigh
with what appears to be nine zombiefied reindeer pulling it.
The single reindeer in the very front has a glowing
red nose. I point this Santa Claus comes from that direction.

(18:41):
Larst growls at me. How would you know I regard him? Now?
How will you hope to defeat this being? If he
is as powerful as you and your men claim. Larst
points at me. I am through talking to you. Woman.
Leave here now. I raise my finger. I offered you
a trade. I shall return outside and engage your Santa

(19:02):
Claus in battle. I shall defeat him in exchange for
the psionic warped displacer. Larst and his men laugh. Now,
of course they do not know that I am a
powerful machine. I wait for them to finish. Santa Claus descends.
I warn he shall be within your boundaries very shortly.
General Larst, do we have a bargain? He laughs again.

(19:27):
If you can do what you claim, then it shall
be agreed very well. I turn and exit Larst's office.
I return to the entrance doors and step outside. The
being known as Santa Claus is maneuvering his reindeer over
Pendleton Way Station. Then I hear Santa's laughter. I have

(19:47):
memories from a former life of Gramps laughing with joy
and warmth as Santa would. The laughter I hear now
is a menacing, evil one. The laughter is loud enough
to be heard even through the harsh way winds and snow.
You are a fool tabon, General Larsk calls out from
behind me. I glance over my shoulder. Call your men back, General,

(20:11):
They need not risk their lives tonight. I alone shall
battle Santa Claus and defeat him. As per our bargain,
he shall never be a threat to you again. The
General sees that I am serious and issues the order
for his men to retreat again. Tabon, you are foolish.

(20:32):
Larsk chastises me. Die well. Then he slams the doors
behind me and secures them. I stand and watch Santa
Claus as he flies around in time. His sleigh and
zombified reindeer are hovering near the General's building. I scan
him and determine that he is perhaps a demon. He

(20:53):
is not undead as his reindeer. He looks very much
as General Larsk has shown me in his office for
guarding how menacing his glowing eyes are. Santa Claus regards
me from above and laughs again. His menacing scornful laughter
echoes throughout the blizzard. Time to utilize some of my hardware.

(21:14):
I raise my voice in response to his laughter to
where he can hear me. I offer you one chance, demon,
turn away and leave these people in peace. If you
do not leave, and you choose to engage in battle
with me, you shall fall in defeat. This is my
promise to you. Santa Claus and I regard each other

(21:37):
for a moment, a long moment. Then he breaks the
silence by laughing scornfully at me again. Suddenly my senses
are alerting me to danger. I turn and see many
little figures coming over the wall. They laugh and sneer
as they scurry towards me. This already reminds me of
my first battle against Sarathos. He used his underlings to

(22:01):
engage me because he believed me to be too insignificant
for him to engage himself. If this demonic entity wishes
to see what I'm capable of scanning these smaller life forms,
they are zombified as the reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh, I'm
ready to engage these. I believe Grahams referred to these

(22:22):
creatures as elves. When the first elf leaps at me,
I send it away with a swift blow. With my
mechanical accuracy and speed I send these undead abominations away
from me. As many of them as there are. Not
a single one lays so much as a finger upon me,
and no sooner do I dispatch the last one. I

(22:42):
feel the demon himself dropping from his sleigh with the
intention of landing upon me. When I step aside, Santa
Claus lashes out and shoves me upon my back. The
demon immediately picks me up and hurls me over the wall.
I land hard against a large tree and fall onto
my side. I quickly rise again and move to the wall.

(23:04):
I leap right over it and see Santa Claus still
standing there. I believe he was wondering if I would
truly return. I land on my feet and face him.
You shall require much more than that if you hope
to overcome me. Demon Santa Claus sneers and launches himself
right at me. I await him and catch him. This time,

(23:24):
as he did to me, I throw him over the wall.
I do not await his return. However, I leap over
the wall again myself in pursuit of him. I land
outside the Pendleton Way station. As Santa Claus rises to
his feet again, he roars and comes at me, I
move and go to him. The two of us engage
in a most personal conflict. We throw blow after blow

(23:46):
at one another. Truly, Santa Claus is a more formidable
foe when compared to Sarathos. Suddenly, Santa Claus grabs me,
lifts me off my feet, and drives me into the ground.
He lowers himself and throws more deadly blows directly into
my face. I throttle his throat and remove him from me.
As I ascend to my feet, it becomes my turn

(24:08):
to throw him into the trees. When Santa Claus hits them,
he falls forward. He rises to his feet. Immediately, he roars,
and his eyes glow brighter. I know not what you are,
but I shall claim you this night. You shall become
the centerpiece of my trophy room. Or perhaps I shall
make a rug out of your hide. Such empty promises,

(24:32):
I mutter. Santa Claus roars and comes at me again.
I leap at him in return. We both connect with
our blows and find ourselves upon our backs. We both
rise and engage one another again. What has become of you?
I ask the demon. According to old fables, you used
to bring joy to all the good people of this world.

(24:54):
Things change, girl. The world changed the day Hell Weaver
changed everything on Halloween night of twenty thirty, when the
world became the very essence of Hell itself. My wife,
my elves, and even my reindeer were slain that night. However,

(25:14):
they would not stay dead. You have seen some of
my elves and all of my reindeer as they are now,
and you seeing how the world became and how worse
it continues to become. There was only so much I
could do. When the blast wave hit, it drove me mad.

(25:36):
At the same time I became this powerful form before you.
And now who really gives a fuck? He laughs his
menacing laughter again. Christmas is my holiday, and on this
one night out of the year, I go out and
collect that that is due to me. But what should
concern you now is your doom. My senses alert me

(26:01):
to attacks coming from different directions. Santa Claus backs away
to watch me engage in battle with all nine of
his reindeer. They all make their undead battle cries as
they come at me. These creatures are nearly double the
size of normal deer. From the memories I possess, either
reindeer or normally the size or they were affected and

(26:22):
altered by the hell Weaver holocaust, just as Santa Claus
himself was. When they come at me, I strike and
attack with the same mechanical speed and reflexes as when
I earlier repelled the elves. The reindeer are not alone,
as more of the elves come at me. How many
of these small creatures does Santa Claus have? I've had

(26:44):
time to experiment and see what I am capable of
doing with my new body. I may not know all
of my capabilities, but I shall in good time. When
I first came to know life, the life force that
I was given needed to become fully integrated with my
new body. To my understanding, the futuristic alien technology used
to create me had to be crafted, configured, and fully

(27:07):
optimized to be able to house my spark that is
my life. Comparing my own life force to the one
that was once Cassilia Tabon, I strive to be all
that she never was. I can feel how active my
secondary programming is within me. It is this guiding force,
when working in unison with my emotions, that compels me

(27:28):
to want to do good. The memories I have that
are of the original Cassilia Tabon are not heroic. The
Tabon family who took her in as a newborn were heroic,
but Cassilia would never strive to become as they were.
My software is working to bridge the gaps and the
memories with greatly complicated algorithms. This will take a great

(27:52):
deal of time and patience for the memories to be
fully reconstructed. But knowing that the original Cassilia Tabon was
not heroic, and feeling my secondary programming working, I know
that I must use what I have been given and
become heroic. My ultimate objective is that I must stop
hell Weaver, even if it means the end of my

(28:14):
brief existence. That means I must not fail against Santa
Claus again. I am keeping my enemies away from me.
Seeing Santa Claus approaching the main gate to the Pendleton
Way Station, I know that he means to breach it
and accomplish his insane objective. His reindeer and elves are
a distraction for me. This must end now. When I

(28:37):
have an opening, I lean into the air and towards
Santa Claus. You shall not be successful in your madness. Demon.
As I reach Santa claus. He turns and suddenly plucks
me right out of the air. Then he sneers and
throws me out into the open, whereas elves and reindeer
suddenly converge and pounce on me. He laughs as horror

(29:00):
will evil laughter again and turns his attention back to
the gates. The reindeer and elves are making their noises
as they try to keep me down and attack. The
elves have weapons from blades to picks. The reindeer are
stomping on me or trying to bite me. My skin
base does not easily yield under the pressure of their teeth.

(29:21):
These creatures are doing anything and everything to keep me
here while their master uses mighty blows to break open
the main gates. He could easily leap over, but he
wants to break in to show the organics inside that
the gates are futile. It takes him three blows to
both force open the gates and make both halves fall.

(29:44):
There shall be no mortals remaining before this night is over.
This shall be your last Christmas. Next year I shall
ravage a new destination. In time, I shall decimate all
of you remaining mortals. You were full to send a
weak female to fight your battles for you most foolish,

(30:05):
indeed and cowardly. Your very existence makes you naughty in
my eyes. But I am not finished. It shall take
far more than these undead abominations to overcome me. The
elves are with distress now as I raise myself to stand.
You shall never defeat one such as I. I declare,

(30:28):
Even with your vast numbers, you shall never overcome a machine.
I stand once more and knock them away from me,
both the elves and the reindeer alike. Killing them will
mean nothing, since they do not have life within their bodies.
Upon repelling enough of them, I turn my attention back
to Santa Claus. He is the one I must ultimately defeat.

(30:53):
I leap forward and reach him again, as he has
ripped the main doors away from General Larsk's station. Will
you ever cease your struggle, you worthless mortal female, he growls,
Not until you're defeated. I return. Then I shall grant
you your death as your final Christmas gift. You shall try.

(31:17):
The two of us engage in battle once more. We
trade many powerful blows, looking to end each other. Each
time that Santa Claus repels me and returns his attention
to entering the General Larsk's building. I leap back to
him to continue our battle. At times I am forced
to repel elves or reindeer. It is then when I

(31:38):
feel something hit my back that I was not expecting.
I see many variables flashing upon my interface, especially when
I am hit again. I regard the reindeer with the
bright red nose from the memories I have with Grams,
I believe his name to be Rudolph. He fires his

(31:58):
laser beam from his no and hits my face. I
sense injuries and damage to my skin base. Now at
the same time, I feel my healing factor working to
repair the damage. Rudolph fires his laser nose at my
face once again. You are unlike anything I have ever seen,
Santa Claus says with disbelief, upon seeing half of my

(32:22):
true face. Then the demon strikes me hard on the
back of my head to send my face into the snow. Nonetheless,
I shall claim you as my prize on this Christmas Day.
Suddenly I'm on my knees. Santa Claus roars and kicks
me hard in the chin to make me fly away
from him and slam into the wall. I make an

(32:43):
indentation and fall forward. Santa Claus is upon me almost
at once. He lifts me up, slams me against the wall,
and unleashes many powerful blows into me. You are clearly
not a mortal. I know not what you are, but
know that you were foolish to think you can best
Santa Claus. No matter how powerful he is, he still

(33:05):
cannot damage or blemish my mechanical body. I can feel
my skin base repairing itself as the gelatinous substance spreads
itself on the exposed areas that Rudolph created. I can
literally feel my skin based solidifying and becoming my flesh
once more. Even my metallic hair is flawlessly regenerated. I

(33:26):
technically do not require this exterior skin base and am
capable of functioning just as a mechanical being. But my
programming maintains my skin and keeps it as a part
of me. My creators wished for me to have my
exterior covering for specific reasons. Of this, I am certain
I am through letting Santa Claus dominate me in this conflict,

(33:47):
and know I must end it. When I sense Rudolph
firing his red nose at me again. I turn and
suddenly feel my own red beams emitting from my very
optics and passing through my humanoid eyes. Beams conflict with
the reindeers one, I can feel the very power coursing
through my body. To supplement this power I now utilize,

(34:09):
I turn and vampire warp from Santa Claus toward Rudolph.
When I land in front of him, I take hold
of his unique nose and render it useless. Being undead,
the Reindeer does not cry out in pain, but he
does step away, knowing that he can no longer engage
in battle with me. And then, when I vampire warp
back to Santa Claus again, I can see past him

(34:32):
and regard the sun that shall rise again soon. At
this point, I do not believe that I shall be
able to defeat this monster before the sun fully rises.
My life shall come to a very abrupt end once
it does. I feel how strong my emotions and my
secondary programming are becoming. Now. If I am to die shortly,

(34:54):
then I shall do so knowing that I was successful
in keeping Santa Claus from claiming the lives of these
other organics. Santa Claus engages me again. I understand his
way of fighting now and am able to counter him.
I strike one harsh blow right after another. He staggers backward,
but still manages to get in a few more attacks

(35:14):
on me. Refusing to allow him any more leverage against me,
I continue my onslaught and make him stagger. I must
defeat Santa Claus before the sun fully rises and destroys me.
The sun continues, My emotions continue to rise within me.
The demon continues to stagger. Not possible. I continue to

(35:35):
show Santa Claus that it is indeed possible. He falls
to his knees from me. To kick him under his
chin and send him upward, make him do a backflip
and then land hard on his face and chest. He
puts his hands down and raises himself. I step in
and keep pummeling him. I am seeing the first rays

(35:56):
of the Christmas morning sun as they begin to bring
lights to this wintry land. The snow has finally ceased,
but the winds continue their vicious onslaught. Then I see
what is becoming of the elves and the reindeer, at
least the ones that still bear animation. The reindeer walk
around fast and make a strange noise. The elves are

(36:19):
trying to flee, even Santa Claus is showing signs of
slowing down. The sun is lighting the new morning more.
Now a strange vapor begins to emit from the reindeer
and the elves. I look at Santa Claus and see
the vapor rising from him as well. I could run
for safety, but this demon's reign of terror must end. Here.

(36:40):
Santa Claus makes one last feudal effort to fight me.
His blows are at their weakest. Now they feel like
those of an organic child. I understand immediately these abominations
cannot endure the sunlight and are nocturnal creatures. Now I
am with surprise. I gaze up on my skin basin

(37:01):
see that nothing is happening to me. I search my
memories and recall that the original life form could not
exist in the sunlight. She had tried putting her hand
in a sunbeam once, only for it to burn her
and nearly make her hand burst into flames. No such
thing as happening to me now, however, I stand and

(37:21):
watch as Santa Claus and his underlings burn in the sunlight.
I move away and let them. My optics are primarily
on the demon himself. Within my visual scope, I can
see the underlings bursting into flames and turning into ash.
Santa Claus now bursts into flames himself. He roars as
his black flesh flies away from his body to reveal

(37:43):
his large organic skeleton, which is also charred. Perhaps that
last wave from October thirty first, two thousand and thirty
may have been the reason for this. Santa Claus falls
flat now as his skeleton is now burning until nothing
remains but ash. I look upon the skin base of

(38:04):
my own hands and arms to see I'm still intact.
Then I remember back in the village of Strickfield, when
those zombified organics came after me. I also encountered such
creatures along the way to this way station. I activate
my diagnostics program to see that I have vital signs.
I have truly misunderstood the concept of my having life. No,

(38:29):
I am not the undead creature that the life form
before me was. When it comes to the vampire aspect,
I do possess limited powers. I believe that I was
undead based upon the memories I have been supplemented with
to give me data to feed my intelligence capacity. Cassilia Tabon,
being undead was a former life in my new life. Yes,

(38:55):
that is indeed what I truly possess within this mechanical body.
I have the very esa since of true life, the
same as these organic beings. Truly, this shall be a
Christmas morning to be remembered. I cannot help myself and
begin to cry. Wait, how am I capable of tears?

(39:16):
I only have a skin base, yet I produce tears
of happiness. It is fully mourning now I never need
to fear this beautiful sunlight ever again. I feel I
am unworthy of life and having a mechanical body. I
reason it is my conflicting memories from the past and

(39:39):
the new memories I make in the present. After I
conclude my crying, I know that it is time for
me to see General Larsk and to claim my prize.
I walk into his building and soon find him in
his office. His two men are with him and are armed.
Larsk himself regards me to clause is no more? I

(40:01):
tell him. The three men regard me for the longest time.
Then Larsk finally speaks, I cannot allow you to remove
the psionic warp displacer from here. He tells me we
had an arrangement. I remind him. Larsk shakes his head.
Don't care. We are not relinquishing anything to a woman.

(40:23):
I do not recommend forcing me to take it from you,
I say. His men raise their weapons. I emit the
laser beams from my optics that I used a short
time ago and melt their weapons. I also melt General
Larsk's weapon after he draws it. The men are with
fear and do not know how to react. General lars

(40:45):
quickly points to a room off to the side. In
there you'll find the psionic warp displacer in a display case.
My empathic powers tell me that he does not speak
with truth. I utilize my vampire warping power, and here
behind Larsk, I lift him off his feet. Remembering the
design of the psionic warp displacer, I scan Larsk's office.

(41:08):
My optics stop upon his monitor. I lower Larsk and
shatter the screen. The component that I require is now
before me. I turn to Larsk. Santa Claus sought to
end you and your people of this way station. You
and your men should be grateful that you will continue
to live, even in knowing that he shall never return.

(41:30):
Live your lives well while you still have them. Larsk
does not listen. Why do you want the psionic warp displacer, woman?
I require it for my mission to find and defeat
hell Weaver. I answer, it is my mission to make
sure this reality never happens, and that as few lives
are lost as possible. The men are not certain as

(41:53):
to what to make of me, but they question me
no longer. Larsk steps aside to allow me to take
the sign a warp displacer. I scan it to determine
that it is genuine. The side objective is now changed
to complete. I realize that I cannot just keep this
component out in the open. Then I understand and will

(42:15):
a small portal to open before me. I place the
warped displacer within the field and remove my hand. Shortly
after the portal closes. As I leave Larsk's office, he
weakly calls out behind me, you will fail against hell
Weaver Tabon. He shakes his head slowly. I fail to

(42:38):
understand how you could defeat Santa Claus. I glance over
my shoulder, beings such as Santa Claus cannot defeat the machine.
The men are baffled as I turn and finally take
my leave. I walk until I cross through what is
left of the gates of Pendleton Way Station. It is

(42:59):
time for me to venture to the second Side objective,
a place where many of the original Life Forces memories
were forged. I must venture to the Tabon homeland known
as Ravenhurst. There, I must acquire one of the most
powerful and ancient artifacts in the vast Tabon arsenal of
weapons to use in my battle against hell Weaver. In

(43:22):
the meantime, do have yourself a very merry Christmas. Santa's
Little Helper by Charles Campbell. Holiday season in the Valley

(43:46):
is something different, to say the least. It doesn't exactly
drop to freezing. In this part of South Carolina. There
is what locals call cold spells from time to time,
but nothing like the bone chilling freeze that other parts
of the country routinely experience. And today, well today was
Christmas Eve. Ronnie Baxley hated everything about it. Unfortunately, for

(44:11):
the last ten years he and his rotund body were
tapped to be Santa Claus for the Christmas Tree lighting
in downtown Burnett Town. When he first started donning the
red and white suit, the town would pay him fifty
bucks for about five or six hours of work. Now
he makes almost two hundred bucks for begging little valley

(44:33):
rats to sit on his lap. His once white beard
was now something between baby shit yellow and turred brown.
Ronnie had maybe seventeeth left in his head. His breath
smelled of dog shit chased down with sewer water. Ronnie
sucked in his gut and eased into the driver's seat
of his beat up Chevy pickup. He gave the key

(44:54):
a turn, and the engine coughed and gagged like it
had been smoking those Marlboroughs right along with Ronn for
the last thirty plus years. Ronnie turned the dial on
the radio and was met with the sound of jingle bells.
He immediately turned off the radio. The bald tire spun
in the muddy driveway of his decrepit trailer. As he
backed out, Ronnie began to sing in the tune of

(45:18):
the freshly in mind jingle Bells. Driving through the mud
in my fucked up Chevrolet, off to the valley, I
go broke as fuck today. The words trailed off into
a da da da Da da da as his mind
had run out of wit for freestyling. He didn't want
to go to Burnett Town. Ronnie was sick of listening

(45:39):
to the little and some not so little Valley rats
drown on about wanting a PlayStation machine or an Xbox
or some kind of modern gadget. The kids weren't normal anymore.
Face is always stuck in some kind of screen. Few
and far between were the requests for footballs, basketball hoops,
barbie bicycles. As a matter of fact, Ronnie was just

(46:03):
as tired of the parents, especially the ones he knew
from school, with their pity filled eyes. Look at what
has become of Ronnie. Poor guy had a great arm
in high school. He could have gone pro, should have
had a career in the majors, But the valley got
him like it got so many kids. If he saw

(46:24):
one more tear filled eye from a mother looking as
if she were doing the world a service by feeding astray,
he was going to lose his shit. The sun was
already setting when he arrived at town hall. He cursed
daylight Savings time. Every year. When the clock rolled back,
it meant that six pm was going to look the
same as midnight, and that always made Ronnie tired his shit.

(46:47):
Tonight was the one night he couldn't be tired. He'd
have to sit on the big wooden chair, hoping there
was still enough material in the seat of his pants
to keep the splinters out of his ass, while pretending
to listen as Betty Sue Molly May tells him what
kind of iPhone she wants. Because you know, the elves
are fucking masters at cutting edge technology. Ronnie stood by

(47:11):
his truck for a moment or two, taking a long
drag on his last Marlborough. He'd have to wait until
he got paid before he could pick up another pack
from the minute shop. He'd have to bum a couple
from Eddie the Elf to get him through the evening.
Eddie was a tall, skinny man, definitely not built like
an elf, and he was willing to take seventy five

(47:33):
bucks to usher kids to the lap of this sad
excuse of a Santa. Ronnie was wishing for one more
drag when a tiny voice startled him. Merry Christmas, Santa, said,
the little girl suddenly standing next to him. Where the
I mean, hey, little girl, where's your mama, Ronnie asked,

(47:55):
forcing a smile. He had never seen this child before,
and she didn't look like she had an ounce of
valley in her I don't have one, the little girl said,
just above a whisper. Ronnie looked her over. She couldn't
have been more than seven years old, and she was
dressed like a tiny elf. She had long black hair

(48:16):
and the darkest pools for eyes Ronnie had ever seen.
He thought maybe the darkness was playing tricks on him,
but the parking lot was well lit. He knelt to
meet her gaze, keeping his plastic smile. So if you
don't have a mama, is your daddy around? I don't
have one of those either, she whispered. Who's here with you?

(48:39):
Ronnie asked. You are Sannah, the little girl said, as
a grin spread under her nose. Ronnie was taken aback
at the rows of razor sharp teeth that clicked in
front of him. What the fuck are you? Ronnie asked.
He hadn't taken any strong shit, resisted the urge to

(49:01):
reach out and touch her. If she wasn't real, he
just looked like he was talking to himself. But if
she was real, she might just bite his fucking fingers off.
I'm Santa's little helper, she whispered. What's your name? Ronnie asked.

(49:22):
He knew he should be scared, but it was just
the opposite. He couldn't explain it, but he was feeling
giddy Sarah, She replied, Well, Sarah, I already have a helper.
His name is Eddie, the Eelf. Ronnie said he could

(49:42):
now hear people mulling around Sassafras Park, sight of the
tree lighting and lapsitting. Eddie's not going to make it tonight,
the little girl said, with a certainty that Ronnie instantly believed.
Oh really, how do you know that, Ronnie asked, He's dead,

(50:05):
she replied, And how do you know that? Ronnie found
himself asking he wasn't going to help you, Santa. He
was going to hurt you, like all the rest, she replied.
Ronnie smiled with an understanding that made the girl grin back. Okay,

(50:26):
then let's go see the valley rats, Ronnie said. The
front doors of town Hall were wide open. There was
a small line of husbands receiving cups of hot cocoa
for their wives and tots. Sarah, stuck by Ronnie's side.

(50:48):
As he strode past the line of kids hooping and
hollering for their tortured Santa. He waved a stained glove
in the air for their approval. As he sat on
the big wood in chair. Elma Trudeau, an office administrator
for the town of Burnett Town, leaned in and whispered
in his ear. Where's Eddie, she asked, while staring a

(51:11):
hole through Sarah. He's sick, Ronnie replied, which elicited a
closed mouth smile from Sarah. It was a smile that
sent a feeling of despair through Elma. Who's going to
control the line, Elma asked, with a tone that clarified
she was not willing to assume the role. I'm Santa's

(51:33):
little helper, Sarah replied, surely, you can't suggest that a child.
Oh and by the way, whose child is this anyway?
She's not from around here, Alma said. She's my niece.
Her name is Sarah, and she's visiting from Atlanta. Ronnie replied,
I call bullshit, Ronnie, you don't have any family, Alma said,

(51:55):
I would suggest you go back to your office, Elma.
Sarah intervened, revealing her teeth. What the fuck? Alma? Whispered
as she backed away. You should listen to her and
go back to your office, Ronnie echoed, and stood. Elma's
hands trembled and eyes widened as she slowly backed away.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Ho Ho, ho, Eddie, the elf is not feeling well.
So Santa has a new helper today, Ronnie announced to
the expanding line of children. There were cheers and shouts
from the boys and girls. Sarah moved quickly to the
front of the line and lifted the retractable belt from
the stanction. Mary Jenkins and her little boy Sam were

(52:42):
the first in line. Sarah giggled as she reached for
Sam's hand. He took it without hesitation. As Mary stepped through,
Sarah looked back as if to tell the next kid
she would have to wait her turn. Before taking Sam
to Santa. Ronnie resisted the urge to roll his eye
at Mary Jenkins, who is now Mary Utly, she was

(53:04):
a cheerleader in high school and he actually had clumsy
sex with her once in the boy's locker room. It
was definitely nothing memorable for her, because, as he recalled,
he was almost done before they got started. The kid
sat on his lap and he could feel the look
of pity for Mary boring into the side of a skull.
Poor Ronnie. I can't believe we actually fucked once. Look

(53:27):
at him now, poor poor Ronnie. Sam was blabbing to
Ronnie about a video game, and Sarah tapped Mary on
her arm with a sharp, pointy fingernail. What is it,
Mary asked, taken out of her pitiful thoughts of Ronnie.
Santa doesn't like you, and neither do I, Sarah said.

(53:49):
Mary's eyes widened in surprise as Sarah smiled at her
with clicking teeth.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
Sam. Let's go, Mary shouted as she grabbed Sam by
the arm as he was still in the midst of
explaining why this particular PlayStation game was a must to
have under the tree. Mary pulled him so violently Sam's
arm almost came clean out of its socket. Mom ow,
Sam screamed as she began dragging him away. Let's go,

(54:19):
Mary shouted. Sarah moved quickly, grabbing Mary by her not
so dainty wrist. Mary's mouth drew back in disdain as
the little girl's skin to skin touch was icy cold.
You're not nice. You deserve what's coming to you, Sarah said,
and then released her grip. Mary dragged a screaming Sam

(54:41):
behind her. While all this was going on, nobody in
the line of kids sensed what kind of craziness was happening.
Crazy shit was par for the course on Highway four
twenty one, even on Christmas Eve. Ronnie watched in joy
and amazement. This was making him so happy. Sarah clicked

(55:03):
her teeth at him as she went to get the
next kid. Barbara Spradley was next with her kid, Lisa.
Ronnie wasn't a fan of the Spradley clan. They were
pretty much Valley Royalty, owning several businesses on this stretch
of road. The six year old scampered up to Sannah,
holding Sarah's cold hand. She had the distinct Spradley dimple

(55:27):
in her chin, with eyes so big she almost looked
like a character from a Doctor Seuss book. Hey Thanta,
Lisa said, with a lisp, Hey, little one, what do
you want for Christmas? This year? I want a Barbie
Dreamhouse and a couple of new Barbie because I cut
the hair off the other ones, and uh Ethie bake oven,

(55:50):
Lisa finished. Ronnie was taken aback with Lisa. She was
a little girl that actually wanted little girl gifts. It
was nothing that needed the smart descriptor or required the
timed mashing of buttons on a video game controller. Again,
these requests were few and far between, but when they came,

(56:11):
it made Ronnie feel somewhat normal for a few seconds.
Sarah noted the genuine smile on Ronnie's face and felt
his approval, so she stayed quiet and gave Barbara a
closed mouth smile, which Barbara politely returned. The next kid
was big, and so was his father. It was Travis
Cheatham and his son, Little Travis. Sarah reached for Little

(56:35):
Travis's hand and he jerked away, giving her the finger
in the process. Big Travis chuckled as if to say,
that's my boy. Sarah smiled, Hey, fuck nut, Big Travis
shouted as Little Travis pulled himself up onto Ronnie's lap.
Ronnie groaned at the weight of almost two hundred pounds

(56:56):
of this. Eleven year old Ronnie remembered Big Travis. They
were once teammates, but never friends. Big Travis always had
a jealous streak, and he loved seeing Ronnie like this.
Big Travis ran a shady lawn care company in the valley,
mostly cash transactions. He liked tossing his weight around figuratively

(57:18):
and literally. His kid was two hundred pounds and Big
Travis was over three bills almost four. Hey, fuck nut,
my dad is talking to you, little Travis repeated. That's
not very nice. Sarah intervened before Ronnie could speak. Who
asked you, you little bitch, Little Travis replied, while looking

(57:41):
back at the approving smile of his pops. Listen here,
you will be getting coal in your stocking. You can't
talk to my little Shut the fuck up, Ronnie. You
are a fucking loser. Nobody loves you, You stink like ass,
and you're the sorriest sack of shit Santah I've ever seen.
Little Travis didn't get the last word out. Sarah moved
with catlike quickness. She jerked Little Travis from Ronnie's knee

(58:04):
and sank her teeth into the side of his neck,
ripping out his trachea and one fell swoop. Blood spewed
like a geyser from the dying kid's neck. Big Travis
was still trying to register what he was seeing. The
color had flushed from his face. Kids were now screaming.
Sarah leaped from Little Travis and lunged at Big Travis,

(58:25):
her claws digging into his soft, flabby flesh. She scaled
up and around his back like a lizard on a
brick wall. Ronnie was smiling. Ronnie was laughing. Ho ho
ho fuck nut, Ronnie shouted as Sarah raked her claws
across Big Travis's face, opening gouges and his fat cheeks.

(58:49):
Big Travis grabbed Sarah by the hair with his huge
hands and pulled with all his strength. Sarah didn't budge.
She was now clicking her teeth in front of his
frightened eye. You aren't a nice man. You can't treat
Santa like that and live. Sarah pressed the sharp claws
of her thumbs right into Big Travis's eyes. They went

(59:10):
so deep she could feel the soft tissue beneath them.
Big Travis fell face first as Sarah leaped from his chest.
Her movements were fluid and fast. Now this shit had
everyone's attention. Children were screaming, mothers were calling for fathers,
and gunshots began to fill the air. This had gone

(59:31):
well beyond regular four to twenty one crazy shit. Ronnie
was smiling as he watched Santa's little helper go to work.
She was blindingly fast. She was eviscerating every man with
a gun. Ronnie felt the pain in his chest he
was hit, but he was still grinning. The blue lights
of the Burnett Town Police were now everywhere. There would

(59:53):
be no tree lighting this year, and Sarah was still
moving through the crowd. She was in a blood frenzy
of death and destruction. Ronnie felt the warmth of blood
flowing from his wound. Shots were still ringing out, but
there were less of them. Ronnie stood in front of
the wooden chair, watching the mayhem in front of him.

(01:00:13):
Not five minutes ago, the kids were in line with
their pity filled mothers, waiting to beg him for shit
he could never afford himself. The way these people treated
Ronnie over the years was shameful. No words of encouragement
from any of them, just fucking pity. That's why Ronnie
hated Christmas. But not this year, no, sir. The girl

(01:00:38):
was his vengeance. She knew she could sense the ones
that had been cruel to Ronnie and the ones that
didn't offer help only pity. Sarah could smell it on
them as she literally cut through town Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night, he shouted. As one

(01:01:01):
more shot rang out, it found its mark, hitting it
in the forehead. The last thing he saw was Sarah's
face and her clicking teeth. As everything went dark. Ronnie
died right there, but he died with the solace that

(01:01:24):
he'd experienced the best Christmas ever. It was finally his
happy ending. Sarah was his elf of vengeance, and he
loved her for it. The Day that Santa Died by

(01:01:47):
Keith Tomlin. Excerpts from Santa's Bodyguard, My Journey from Vietnam
to the North Pole, an autobiography by Jonathan L. Copeland,
as features in the December twenty eleven issue of The
weather Be monthly True Crime journal. Writer's note, I hate

(01:02:07):
to start the story off with exposition, but I need
to make sure that the realities of the situation are
understood by the reader. These are explained in detail in
the book version, but readers of this excerpt may benefit
from knowing the following one. There are around two thousand
elves in existence. The vast majority of these elves are

(01:02:27):
living a happy life working for Santa. There are, however,
a few that, in their terms, escaped from the North Pole.
These elves, called renegades, vowed to release their fellow elves
from their enslavement of their oppressor. For the record, I
have not seen any indication that Santa was anything but

(01:02:49):
kind and generous to those who worked for him. Two
many supernatural phenomena surround Santa Claus and Christmas. Many of
these are well documented in pots popular culture, such as
flying reindeer and circumventing the entire earth in one night
while delivering presents. However, two lesser known ones affect this story.

(01:03:10):
The first is that explosives, including gunpowder and by extension, firearms,
do not work around Santa Claus. The same goes for
internal combustion engines. Santa cannot ride in a car, plane,
or helicopter. When I asked him about these and other
unusual occurrences, he would simply shrug and say it's Christmas magic.

(01:03:33):
I could get no further explanations. John Copeland twenty eleven
December eighteenth, nineteen eighty nine, Cooper's Department Store, Brickton, New Jersey.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
I could feel that something was wrong. This sixth sense
saved my life many times in Vietnam, and I've learned

(01:03:56):
to trust it. I triggered the radio, Steve, how are
things looking. The reply came back, everything looks good here, Boss, Alan.
Everything good on your end. YEP, no issues, just kids everywhere.
Alan replied, Dave, how are you doing? No reply, Dave,

(01:04:16):
still no reply. Jeff again, no reply, Damn, I sighed.
I triggered the radio again. Okay, Alan, I want you
to stop letting people in. Tell them that Santa has
to feed his reindeer or whatever. Steve, make your way
towards Dave's sector, but be careful. Head on a swivel.
I'll head to where Jeff was. After Alan and Steve confirmed,

(01:04:39):
I head off down an aisle stacked with boxes of
board games. A look to my right confirmed that Santa
was still in the winter Wonderland village that Cooper's Department
store set up for him. Kids were lined up across
the sales room floor and down the unpowered escalator. I
heard tiny footsteps running behind me. I turned and walked
back towards boarding goods. A blur of motion turned down

(01:05:02):
an aisle in the baseball section. I quickly covered the
ground between me and the mouth of the aisle. Peering
around the corner, I saw a child no older than
six standing there, giggling, his mouth covered in chocolate. I
cautiously made my way towards him. Hi, there are you lost?
Where are your parents? I asked? They over there, he said,

(01:05:25):
pointing somewhat in the direction of Santa's village. I approached
closer every nerve, screaming, what are you doing here? Don't
you want to meet Santa? The little man gave me
candy and said that you wanted to play hide and seek,
the child said, grinning. I began to answer when my
instincts told me to duck. A long blade whipped across

(01:05:46):
the aisle, barely missing my head. Out of habit and training,
my hand reached for a pistol at my waist. I
then remembered I was not carrying a firearm and instead
grabbed a wooden baseball bat, just in time to block
another strike from the short sword. The sword dug into
the wood deep enough to catch, and I was able
to twist the bat to the side and rip that

(01:06:07):
sword out of the grip of a short creature standing
on the top shelf. I dropped the bat and grabbed
its legs turned and swung it across the aisle, hitting
its head on a metal bin full of baseball bats.
I let go and it landed on the floor, its
neck twisted at an impossible angle. I heard the kid
behind me running away, yelling for his mother. I got

(01:06:28):
my first look at the creature and cursed. It was
around three feet tall, with a thin, narrow face, long
gray beard, and pointy ears. Guys, I said into the radio,
we got elves. Time to shut it down. Alan, they
don't usually attack civilians. Make sure everybody makes it safely
off the property. Steve, make your way to me. I'll

(01:06:49):
be with the big guy immediately. The guys acknowledged. I
changed channels in radio to have the reindeer sleigh sent
for a roof extraction. As I begin to quickly walk
toward the Winter Wonderland and set up, I tripped a
fire alarm mounted on a wall. Sirens and flashing lights
filled the story as a pre recorded voice played over
the sound system asking all guests to leave the building

(01:07:10):
in an orderly fashion via the nearest exit in the
Winter Wonderland set store employees began helping crying children and
worried parents exit the roped off queue. Santa, looking majestic
in his classic red robes with white trim, was reassuring
everyone and asking them to be careful on the way out.
I walked up to Santa, my eyes trying to scan

(01:07:31):
everyone and everything at once, my nerves screaming. Santa noticed
my approach and turned to me, concern etched into his
ageless face. John, my boy, what is going on? Is
everyone okay? He asked, his deep voice rising above the
surrounding chaos. I shook my head, No, sir, the renegades

(01:07:52):
are here. I have a few people missing, but I
haven't heard any issues with the civilians. Oh my, he said, pausing,
how did they find me? Unclear? At this point, I replied,
around Christmas, there are thousands of actors posing as Santa
around the world, meeting children, leading parades, and doing other
Christmasy duties. For years, I tried in vain to get

(01:08:14):
the real Santa to cancel his personal appearances, but he refused,
saying that the only way to know what children really
want is to get out there and talk to them.
I was able to stop him from announcing his appearances,
hoping that the sheer number of other Santas would act
as decoys and serve as a form of Christmas camouflage.
We can worry about that later, Sir. Now, we need

(01:08:35):
to get you to the roof for pickup. I told
him I'll go once I know the children are safe.
He replied, Sir, we need to get you out of
here when the children are safe. Santa said, with a
bit of an edge in his voice. Roger that I
knew that. Once he made up his mind, there was
no changing it. I turned to face the dwindling crowd,

(01:08:57):
scanning for dangers. I spoke into the radio, Alan, what's
the situation, Alan answered, a bit breathless. The crowd streaming
out of the building is thinning out a bit. I
saw some short figures, non children entering through the loading dock.
Steve went after them. Stay with the crowd, make sure
nothing happens to them, I said, Steve. Head up to me.

(01:09:19):
No answer, Steve. Still nothing, damn, I thought, as I
put the radio into a holster on my belt. After
a few tense minutes, some of the longest of my life,
Alan's voice came over the radio. Boss employees are saying
the store should be empty. Roger that heading to the roof,

(01:09:39):
I replied, that's when the lights went out. The world
went black except for the flashing lights of the fire alarm.
Moments later, the emergency lights came on, their dim pale
lights combined with the fire lights, casting an eerie shadow.
Sir I said, we need to go now. A somber

(01:10:01):
looking Santa nodded, Yes, John, I believe you're right. Weaving
through the aisles and holiday displays, I led Santa toward
the back stairway. As we entered housewares, three diminutive figures
emerged out of the darkness at the end of the aisle,
the amber alarm lights shining off of the short steel
swords they were wielding. I pulled Santa behind me and

(01:10:24):
turned to face the attackers. Out of the corner of
my vision, I saw a dark shape launch itself from
the top shelf towards Santa. I sidestepped to intercept, putting
my body between Santa and the threat. I raised my
left arm to block the assault in A long, thin
blade pierced my forearm. The weight of the small body

(01:10:44):
forced my arm back, and the tip of the knife
cut a long, cruel gash in my cheek. I grabbed
the attacker an older, gray haired elf with my right
hand and awkwardly chucked the flailing body at the other three,
who were now running down the aisle, swords raised. One

(01:11:06):
of the attackers tripped over the thrown Elf, while the
other two slowed down now that I had turned my
attention to them. As they cautiously walked forward, I pulled
the knife from my forearm, causing a fresh wave of
blood to flow. I held the knife at the ready.
As a Green Beret in Vietnam, my unit was often
at a numeric disadvantage when we encountered the enemy. In

(01:11:29):
those situations, I found that it was best to cause
confusion in the enemy by doing the unexpected, which usually
came down to a quick and bloody display of extreme violence.
I whispered to Santa, keep an eye out behind you.
I'll be right back. I didn't wait for an answer. Instead,
I roared at the top of my lungs and began

(01:11:50):
to run towards the elves as fast as I could.
This startled them, and they raised their swords in a
defensive posture. As I got within a few feet of
the elf on the right side, I went into a
feet first baseball slide. The polished and waxed floor, assisting
me with a surprising lack of resistance. I hit him
just under his right knee. The crack of the bones

(01:12:11):
was louder than the fire alarm. As he fell, he
tried to strike me, but only took out a small
slice of my left arm. Most of the damage was
absorbed by my suit jacket. At this time, I realized
that I had slid too close to the bottom of
the shelf and it was restricting my movements. My initial
hope was to take out the right elf with the
baseball slide, then spin to face away from the upright

(01:12:34):
attacker and use my feet to keep him at bay
until I can find an opportunity to stand up. Not
the best plan I've ever come up with, but better
than none. The middle attacker approached and batted away my
ineffectual attempts to fend him off with my injured arm.
He raised his sword and plunged it down at me.
At the last moment, I was able to turn and

(01:12:56):
took the strike on my left side. Using what little
strength I had in my left arm, I tried to
push him away as he grabbed the sword with both
hands and leaned into it. That's when I stopped pushing
and pulled him toward me, his sword passing through me
and striking the floor. Shock showed on his face as
he fell forward, unable to compensate for the lack of resistance.

(01:13:19):
I stared into his face inches from mine as I
brought my right hand up and plunged the dagger into
his side over and over again. I felt the front
of my shirt grow wet with his blood, and the
light in his eye slowly dimmed. I let go, and
he slumped over his eyes, staring sightlessly at the ceiling.
Using the shelves to pull myself up, I grasped the

(01:13:41):
hilt of the small sword and pulled it free. Wincing
from the pan, rolling my left shoulder, I deduced that
the wound on my side was less serious than I
originally thought. No vital organs were hit. I look at
the three living elves lying on the ground. The one
with the broken leg was still clutching it and rolling
around moaning. The one I threw was still lying dazed

(01:14:05):
on the tile floor, while the one that tripped over
him was just rising to his feet, his cold eyes
boring into me. I took a step and kicked him
hard in the face. A wet crunch could be heard
as a shelf split the back of his skull open
and wedged into his brain. I then struck the elf.
He tripped over with the sword until he stopped moving.

(01:14:28):
I verified that the elf with the broken leg wasn't
a threat before looking over at Santa. Santa Claus stood
there speechless, his ashen white face registering both shock and disgust.
He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Sir,
we should be going, I said, looking around for additional threats.

(01:14:49):
Santa shook his head like he was coming out of
a trance. He looked at the carnage in front of
him and asked, was that necessary, sir, Let's go, I replied.
Santa took one last look at the bodies before him
and slowly nodded. We made our way past the jewelry
counter and into women's wear. I grabbed a couple of

(01:15:10):
scarves from a bin and bound my wounds as best
I could. Santa gave me a disapproving look, but softened
when I told him that I would pay for them later.
I almost added if we live, but chose to keep
that part to myself. We heard movement behind us, at
least four sets of footsteps heading our way. I began
pushing Santa to move faster, hoping to reach the stairway

(01:15:33):
to the roof before the renegades caught us. My sixth
sense was screaming that there was something I was missing,
but years of an action had blunted the tactical sense
that had been honed into a razor's edge in Foreign Wars. Finally,
I saw the gap in the shelves along the back
wall with a bright red sign that read emergency exit.

(01:15:54):
As we neared it, something flew by and smacked into
the wall ahead of us. I looked back and a
small figure was frantically trying to reload a crossbow. I
pushed Santa faster, almost knocking him off his feet, and
we slammed into a metal exit door. A shrill alarm
began going off, further adding to the chaos of the situation.

(01:16:15):
I slammed the door shut and looked around. Stairs were
going up on the left and down on the right.
Also on the right was a mop and bucket. I
grabbed the mop and wedged it between the bottom step
and the door. It wouldn't last long, but it should
slow them down. Santa was trying to catch his breath,
and as much as I hated to do it, I

(01:16:35):
couldn't give him time to rest. Sir, the roof is
one flight up. Were almost there, I said, as reassuringly
as I could. He nodded and began climbing. I did
my best to keep watch both ahead and behind us.
When we made the turn to the final set of stairs,
I began hearing yells and pounding from below. I readied

(01:16:55):
the sword that I still carried, and prompted Santa to
climb even faster. When we finally made it to the
roof access door, we paused. I pushed Santa against the
wall and stood in front of him, sword at the ready.
I radioed the reindeer team. What's the status of the sleigh,
I asked, we're landing now, the roof is clear. Where
it go was the reply? I sighed. Finally something was

(01:17:20):
going our way. Ready, Sir, I asked Santa. He chuckled,
I can almost taste the hot chocolate now. As I
nodded to him, I heard a crash from below us
and yells of triumph. Santa opened the roof door and
I followed close behind him, facing the stairway. As soon
as I backed onto the roof, I knew something was wrong.

(01:17:42):
It wasn't until later that I realized that it was
the lack of noise. Nine reindeer make a ton of
noise even when they're just standing still, and the roof
was eerily quiet. As I heard Santa say, oh my,
I turned and noticed an odd contraption set off to

(01:18:02):
the left. It had a four inch tube and two
large tanks behind it. Three elves were standing around it,
two holding long daggers while the third carried a short spear.
One elf yelled now, and the one with the spear
brought it down on a lever and the machine roared.
I suddenly realized that this was a huge air cannon.

(01:18:26):
A metal ball shot out, flying towards Santa's chest. I
tried to leap in front of him to intercept the threat,
but it seemed like I was moving in slow motion.
I was able to get my left arm up in
front of the cannon ball. It ricocheted off of my arm,
shattering bone and struck Santa in the stomach. I fell
to the ground and must have blacked out for a

(01:18:47):
few seconds. When I came to, I saw that Santa
was lying on the roof about six feet away, flanked
by the three elves from the cannon. Another three elves
were approaching from the other side of the roof, and
four more had emerged from the stairway. Still dazed, I
watched the elves surround Santa, who lay there gasping for breath.

(01:19:07):
The elf with the spear stepped forward and jammed it
into Santa's chest. That broke the dam, and the others
rushed ahead, plunging their knives into the large man over
and over again. Blood began to pull on the roof,
and the elves handmade boots made red footprints as they
splashed through the puddle, eagerly elbowing their way through the

(01:19:29):
frenzied mob to take another stab. I gave up trying
to stand and slumped back to the ground. All of
my will to fight drained out of me. I screamed,
but the only thing I could hear was the pounding
of my heart and the soft, wet thud of the
knives hitting their mark. I hung my head and wept,

(01:19:51):
but soon the sounds of the slaughter stopped. I thought
that I would look up to find myself surrounded by
bloodthirsty heathens. However, when I opened my eyes, I saw
that the elves had backed up, staring at the body
on the ground. Lights began pulsing from each of the
dozens of Santa's wounds. The light became brighter, and the

(01:20:14):
elves stumbled back further, one falling down, but none of
them took their eyes off of the corpse in front
of them. Santa's body began to shake and rose in
the air like some ragdoll held up by an invisible hand.
The light became blinding, and I had to turn away
from the blazing nova that the fat man had become.

(01:20:35):
There was a loud crackle and then a deafening thump,
followed by a light so bright that it rivaled the sun.
After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and tried
to blink away the spots that danced in front of them.
Santa's body still hung in the air, but the light
was beginning to dim as his wounds slowly closed. I

(01:20:57):
was struck by the thought that he looked like a
white bearded Jesus crucified on an invisible cross. I felt
like I was going mad and began to laugh. That
stopped when I noticed the charred and smoking bodies of
the renegade elves scattered around the roof. Hearing a scraping sound,
I turned to see that one of the elves survived.

(01:21:19):
Most of its body was charred, and it was using
its one good arm to pull itself along. I stumbled
to my feet, the pain in my arm inside beginning
to throb as the adrenaline wore off. I shuffled over
to the remaining elf and flipped it over onto its back.
The majority of its face was burnt black, except for
the area around its right eye. I could feel the

(01:21:41):
hate radiating from it as it looked past me, focused
on something behind me. Oh, Clarence, Santa said, walking up
to look down at the elf. My poor boy. I
wish I could help you help, Clarence croaked between hard lips.
Let us go, Santa shook his head. If I could,

(01:22:09):
I would, but it's out of my control. Liar, set
us free, Clarence said, his anger giving strength to his voice.
Santa got down on one knee and grabbed Clarence's good hand.
You don't think I've tried to leave. It affects me

(01:22:31):
just like it affects you. After two days away from
the North Pole, I start feeling the tug of the
place trying to pull me back. After a week away,
I can't sleep, I can barely eat, and that's just
the start of the struggle. All I can think of
is my workshop and my overwhelming need to get back

(01:22:53):
to it. I finally just accepted my fate and embraced
my role in life. I we bring joy to the
children of the world, and that's a worthy way to
spend one's life. Doubt showed in Clarence's face, and he

(01:23:14):
whispered a final word. Who Santa patted his hand. It's
the spirit of Christmas that calls to us, that pulls
us back. Its magic is fueled by the hopes and
dreams of children all over the world. As long as
there are children who believe in Christmas, the Christmas Spirit

(01:23:38):
will be there to guide us. We Santa stopped talking
as a groan escaped from Clarence's mouth and the light
in his eyes went out. Santa bowed his head and wept.
After a few minutes, he gently placed the ELF's hand
on the ground and stood, wiping his face. I radioed

(01:24:01):
the sleigh team, and after verifying their identification, found that
they never received the original request for a rooftop pickup.
After scheduling the pickup, I turned to Santa and noticed
that he was poking a finger through one of the
dozens of cuts in his jacket. John, he said, confused,
what happened? Well, sir, you died, I replied, did I know? So?

(01:24:30):
How did I undie? He asked, unclear? You started floating
in the air and burst into a bright light, and
now you're alive. Really, hm strange? Santa shrugged. Christmas Magic,
he said, yes, sir, Christmas Magic epilogue. In the dark

(01:24:56):
space between two air units, Frederick the Elf lowered the
crossbow and placed it next to the backpack of the
electronic equipment he used to intercept the radio transmissions. He
tore his gaze off Santa and closed his eyes to
quell his rage. With that rage subsiding, the poll of

(01:25:17):
the North returned. He spent a few minutes conquering that urge,
his shaking hands finally growing still. Calm descended, and he
began to review what he learned. Santa can't be killed,
at least not in traditional ways. Santa is not the
source of the pull, but he is a willing participant

(01:25:40):
in the oppression of the elves. The Spirit of Christmas
is the force that tries to pull them back to
the North Pole. Human children all over the world give
power to the Spirit of Christmas. To lessen the pull
of the Spirit of Christmas, we need to decrease what
gives it power, namely human children. Frederick opened his eyes.

(01:26:05):
He knew what he had to do. Now was the
time for planning. He cocked his head and seemed to
hear sleigh belts off in the distance. He took one
last look at Santa and his bodyguard before slinking off
into the darkness. Thank you for reading The weather Be
monthly True Crime Journal. Please check out next month's issue,

(01:26:28):
where we will have the next installment of excerpts from
John Copeland's autobiography. In that article, titled Infanticide, Generation Blood,
he explores one of the bloodiest terror campaigns in human history.

(01:26:51):
Scary Christmas to All by David o'hanley. Santa paced the
ancient floorboards of his study. The world had changed, Toys
were bought in stores, and fewer children believed in the
magic of Santa. There were many tasked with keeping the
balance of good and evil, but technology was quickly pushing

(01:27:13):
them all into the realm of mythology. The fat Man
had gone to extremes to keep his operation relevant long
past its expiration date, but it wouldn't matter much longer.
Santa chewed the end of his cigar and stopped pacing
in front of the wooden chest. The lock laid broken
next to the splinters of wood where the thieves had

(01:27:36):
carelessly chopped open the ancient ornate chest. The contents had
been replaced with a manifesto scrawled into Mittean script. In
one night, they would undo centuries of legend and tip
the scales forever unless they could be stopped. Santa struck
a match and held it to the tip of the cigar,

(01:27:57):
knowing there was only one solution, only one operative elf
enough for the task. I'm freezing my fucking ornaments off, Peppermint,
Ray declared, as he stepped into the study and kicked
the door shut behind him. This is one hell of
a storm, nothing compared to what is coming, Santa said somberly.

(01:28:19):
I called you in for a very important assignment. Ray,
I finally get to kill Jeff Bezos. Ray perked up. No,
it worked with toys, r us. Ray argued. If we
take out Amazon and Walmart, they'll have to come to
us for toys. We'll be back in business full tilt buggy,

(01:28:39):
maybe next year. Ray Santa stepped away from the Pilford chest.
If there is one fuck me with a nutcracker, Ray gasped.
The elf went to the box. His face twitched with
conflicting emotions as he knelt to retrieve the manifesto from
the spot that should have held one of the North
Pole three sacred documents. He skimmed the pages of lunatic ramblings.

(01:29:06):
He's going to give out toys to the entire naughty list,
Ray said, who would do this? He calls himself candy
pain sugarplum. Gary flicked a frozen booger from his finger.

(01:29:27):
His bulbous nose almost glowed from the bite of the
winter storm blowing across the Great Lakes. Elves didn't chill easily,
but the storm made him pull the parka tighter around him.
Gary liked to eat paint, specifically orange, and had lost
his job making toys long before the bubble burst. For
everyone else. He'd been cleaning the stables for the past

(01:29:50):
two centuries, which he didn't mind. The reindeer never made
fun of him, at least they would have if they
could talk, but they couldn't, so Gary was content with
his new occupation. He stabbed his finger back into his
nostril to mine another frozen snot nugget. As dumb as
Gary was, even he knew the storm was their fault.

(01:30:12):
It had started moments after they pilfered the Naughtylist and
intensified with every toy they delivered along their path. Candy
Andy knew it too. Gary watched the Elvin David koresh
saw through the security guard's neck with a serrated silver blade.
Gary always wanted to be one of the Black Mittens

(01:30:33):
sant as elap core of assassins that purged the evilest
names from the Naughtilist with absolute ruthlessness. Gary had never
even gotten to issue a coal citation to a bad kid,
let alone gotten to bump one off. Andy told him
he was lucky for that war changes in elf and
the Naughtilist had become the North Pole's version of Vietnam.

(01:30:56):
The Black Mittens were so backlogged that they'd started working
to and Christmas in July. Just to keep from drowning
in the swelling sea of evil caused by the influx
of department store toys. Andy wiped the blade clean and
sheathed it. His short, powerful arms cast the line of
his grappling hook all the way to the top of
the watch tower. Gary stared in awe as the elf

(01:31:19):
scurried up the structure despite the brutal onslaught of wind.
Gary darted from the bushes and waited inside the guard
shack for his signal. Andy hadn't told him what the
signal would be, just that he'd know it when he
saw it. A moment later, the sniper's corpse crashed to
the icy pavement, His intestine stretched up from his torn

(01:31:39):
abdomen all the way back to the top of the tower.
Gary giggled and stepped out of the shack, looking up
at the meaty garland glistening with already frozen blood. He
plucked it, fascinated by the wet twang it made, and
waited another moment for Andy's signal. Nothing happened. Gary looked
down at the body and gasped, Oh, you're the signal.

(01:32:05):
He darted back inside and pulled the lever ice cracked
from the hinges as the gates forced themselves open despite
the accumulating snow. The vibration rattled loose icicles from the
bronze lettering overhead. The elf looked up and sounded out
the letters. It was easy enough even for him, Kill you.

(01:32:27):
Gary squinted through the snowflakes to make sure he read
it correctly. There it was, in big, blocky font kill you.
Andy repelled down the tower and gracefully hit the ground.
He waved for Gary to come through. The ditzy elf
waddled between the still opening gates and pointed at the letters.

(01:32:49):
Say Andy, what ah Andy had him by the throat
before he could say another word. I won't tell you again,
he snarled. It's pain, Andy, Pain. The name wasn't the
only thing he'd changed about himself. His uniform had been
replaced with leather and spikes, and around his neck he

(01:33:09):
wore a heavy chain of sterling candy canes. For every
elf that died under his command. Each ornament was spaced
out with the withering, rotten ear of a naughty child.
Sorry candy pain, Gary gulpt. I was just wondering about
the sign, is all. It's a strange name for an orphanage. Orphanage.

(01:33:32):
Candy Pain laughed. Krieger Illinois Youth, a fender unit better
known as Kill You Island. Candy Pain swept an arm
at the structure. The former mental asylum was little more
than a shadow through the snowfall. The tiny island had
always been a place of evil and violence. It attracted

(01:33:53):
it the way rot attracts flies. Krieger sat far enough
on Lake Michigan to make it the perfect place to
lock away the most dangerous juvenile delinquents in the state.
Many of the residents had received their lump of coal,
while others had skipped straight to the top of the
naughty list. Somewhere in the pint sized penal colony was

(01:34:14):
the mission objective. The Kinder Cannibal, Little Robbie Mocker Christmas
Dies Tonight. Candy Pain snarled. Santa's glare was hard and
cold as gun metal. Missus Claws sat the tray of

(01:34:34):
sugar cookies next to the scales. On one side a
glittery glass ornament and on the other a lump of
coal mined by Crampis himself. The two pans had never
been level, but they never teetered too far in one
direction either Now the coal moved lower by the minute.

(01:34:55):
No point in watching it, dear, the missus said, offering
up one one of the cookies. Santa took the snowman
shaped cookie and chomped the head off. If he fails,
Santa started, then do something about it. She slid into
his lap. The sleigh is packed and ready hand out

(01:35:16):
as many toys as possible by Ray the time he
needs to destroy. Candy pain raise no match for him,
Santa admitted, I should have sent everyone. Then we'd be
burying a lot of dead elves for New Years. Missus
Claws said, Ray will win this fight because he's just
as much a symbol of Christmas as you are. Santa

(01:35:38):
raised a wooly brow. I don't think we're talking about
the same elf. How many wars have you delivered presents through?
How many communities have come together in times of disaster,
fed one another during famines, saying carols through plagues. Christmas
is not a holiday, it's not presents, it's not even

(01:36:00):
Santa Claus. It's an unyielding spirit, she said, coiling the
curls of his beard around her fingers. The true meaning
of Christmas is love. That's why it always endures no
matter what turmoil comes. Peppermint Ray is the embodiment of
the Christmas spirit. He's a sadistic munchkin that enjoys killing.

(01:36:24):
Santa huffed, You enjoy your work too, She kissed his forehead,
Which is why you need to get off your fat
ass and get to it. Keep the scales moving in
our favor. Dear Ray will do his job, and tomorrow
we'll drink our eggnog from Candy Andy's skull. Brute Cake

(01:36:47):
flew around the island a second time. Bonfires burned high
despite the battery of subzero winds. Inmates danced and fired
captured guns into the air and celebration. An explosion illuminated
scores of dead guards, making bloody snow angels in the yard.
Ray could smell burnt flesh wafting up on the smoke.

(01:37:10):
He checked the magical compass, and the needle pointed straight down.
Looks like the little shits opened their Christmas presents early.
He groaned, you ready for Christmas dinner? Pal? The reindeer
rumbled excitedly. Good. It's colder than Prancer's pecker up here,
and I want all the feeling in my fingers when

(01:37:31):
I closed them around Andy's throat. Fruitcake snorted, shit, you're right,
we need tunes. Ray turned on the bluetooth speaker hanging
from Bruitecake's saddle. He nodded his head as the bells
tinkled and the music began. The reindeer let out a long,
hoarse call of agreement. That's right, Candy, Andy, all I

(01:37:54):
want for Christmas is you to die. The raindew changed course,
speeding toward the island. Ray drew his scimitar and shifted
to the side to hack down one of the escaped convicts.
Bullets whizzed by his head. His steed banked hard, nearly
flinging Ray from the saddle. A pair of teens cut

(01:38:16):
loose with their festively painted assault rifles. Brute Cake twisted,
flying over them upside down and then biting one's head
while Ray impaled the other. The skull crunched loudly between
the reindeer's teeth. In the chaos, Ray almost missed the
incoming call. He turned down the music and answered the phone.

(01:38:36):
While Brute Cake flew into a group of delinquents Peppervent
party line. He said gleefully. Ray, it's wait, is that gunfire?
Missus Claws asked, Not everyone plays with the same kinds
of toys. A bullet tore Ray's hat off. Can I
call you back? No, you cannot, missus Claws said sternly.

(01:39:00):
This is going to be really hard for you. But
you can't kill any of the kids on that island.
Ray tugged the reins to pull Brute Cake up and
away from the field of battle. Two murder munchkins hung
from his bloody antlers. Ray cleared his throat. Uh, the
service is really bad with this storm and all, Ray said.

(01:39:20):
I didn't hear you. You said kill all the naughty kids, right,
none of them? Ray? Oh, so yeah, we can do that.
Ray mind shooting himself in the head. Why exactly are
we not killing them? The scales have tipped too far.
Her voice sounded sullen and distant. It wasn't the storm

(01:39:43):
making Ray's knees shake. If she was worried, then it
really was the end of Christmas. Brute Cake tilted his
head to slide one of the bodies closer so he
could take a bite. Ray rolled his eyes. What was
done was done, so his faithful steed might as well
enjoy the spoils. Okay, no more killing, Ray reluctantly agreed.

(01:40:08):
What's the plan? Give them gifts, she told him, restore
the image of Santa, remind them that Christmas is about
love and love is second chances? Ray, How am I
supposed to get past them without killing them? Make them toys? Ray,

(01:40:29):
I didn't exactly pack for that sort of thing. I
have no toys. Improvise. You were a toy maker, long
before you were a killer, she reminded him, A terrible one,
the worst, she agreed. Naughty kids now get crappy toys,
and thanks to you, we have a warehouse full of those.

(01:40:51):
Glad I could help, Ray said, deadpanned. The other elves
are mobilizing. What about candy pain, silly Ray, Her voice
perked up. Everyone knows peppermint kills pain. Ray ended the
call with a pointed smile. He tugged the reins and
directed Brute Cake toward the roof of the prison. A

(01:41:13):
mob of children surrounded him with pilfered nightsticks, shanks, and torches.
Ray hopped down from his saddle. A bigger kid stepped
out of the group to meet him, wielding an axe
adorned with mistletoe. We didn't invite you to the Christmas party,
the boy said, in a pubescent squeak. Why don't you
and Rudolph fuck off? Brute Cake shook his head violently,

(01:41:42):
flinging the corpses from his antlers. He snorted and scraped
his hoof through the snow. Blood soaked his snout and
bubbled in his nostrils. To be fair, you do have
a red nose right now, Ray patted the animal side. Look, Dallas,
we're here on important pole business. How'd you know my name?

(01:42:03):
The boy demanded. I read the naughty List like it's
the Sunday paper, Ray said, before you chopped up your family,
you made the list for smashing your sister's gerbil. The
crowd gasped. And I know you, and you and you,
Ray said, as he turned and pointed at various children.
He wagged his finger at one of them, especially you.

(01:42:26):
That was some innovative work you did, kiddo. What what
do you want, Dallas asked, to give you presents? Ray
threw his hands into the air. Christmas is about second chances.
The fat Man's had a change of heart. Go on
back to your cells before you catch a cold. Tomorrow

(01:42:47):
everyone gets gifts. I already got my present. Dallas. Hefted
the axe. I said, I wouldn't kill anyone else tonight,
so try to run really fast so that I don't
look like a lyar. Ray pulled the be dazzled grenade
from his pocket. Five second fuse, eight meter kill zone.

(01:43:09):
It's doable, but just barely. The elf jerked the pin
free and the children scattered. Ray ran for the edge,
knowing his stumpy legs would never get him clear in time.
He jumped over the side, casting his grappling hook for
the drain pipe as the device exploded behind him. He
planned on crashing through the window like John mcclan, only

(01:43:32):
Nakatomi Plaza didn't have bars over the windows. Ray struck
the iron grid and bounced off, twisting on the rope
like the world's ugliest ornament. He hit it again, but
caught hold. Ray pulled his dagger and used it to
unscrew the grate. He kicked out the glass and shimmered inside.

(01:43:53):
Fuck me with a nutcracker, he groaned. Whatever gets your
rocks off, the woman said, before grabbing Ray by the
throat and slinging him into a graffitied wall. Ray's tiny
form shattered the sheet rock. A female guard towered over him.
Her cutoff trousers revealed thick muscular thighs, each one as
big around as Ray himself. Scalps dangled from her pistol

(01:44:17):
belt that hung below a hardened eight pack of abdominal muscles.
Ray's eyes widened when he saw she was topless and
pinned her badge, threw her left nipple. She patted a
nightstick against her palm. Growls and barks came from one
of the cells. Two of the guards came out, wearing
nothing but dog ears and tails. This is the pro

(01:44:40):
bowl of fucking psychopaths, he said, struggling to his feet.
I'm Commander Thatcher. The woman's voice boomed. Long before Mindy
the thrasher Thatcher had taken over Kreager Island. She'd been
a women's wrestling champion and longtime resident of the Naughty List.
It was no wonder Candy had picked Kill You Island

(01:45:02):
to deliver his coup de gras to Christmas sicken boys.
The two guards snarled and scurried at Ray on all fours.
The elf juked around one, letting them crash together with
a yip. He ran down the hall, hurtling, gnawed bodies,
and slid to a stop as another guard dog crawled
out to block his path. Only this time it was

(01:45:25):
an actual dog. The terrier, wearing a mask of leather straps,
dragged a length of intestines behind him. You're breaking the law, convict,
Thatcher shouted, my law. Now get your scrawny ass back
in your cell. Convict Ray tugged at his pointy ears,
You dumbass, I'm an elf. The terrier growled, gimp. Doesn't

(01:45:49):
give a shit what gang you're in. Neither do I.
Thatcher tapped the baton with each step closer. Bad children
spend the night with the dogs. The human stalked alongside
their mistress. They gnashed their bloody teeth, slinging pink saliva
with each bark. This cell block belonged to Lucifer Lloyd.

(01:46:10):
Thatcher tugged at a scalp on her belt. So did
this he thought he was the devil. Think you'll scream
as much as the devil when I peel your skull. Elf,
keep talking and I'll do it myself. Ray cupped a
hand to his ear. Hear that is it time to
make the cookies. That is just a hurtful stereotype. Ray barked.

(01:46:35):
You haven't seen how hurtful I can be yet. Thatcher laughed,
I was going to give you a witty one liner.
Ray said, better make it a zinger, because it'll be
your last words. Thatcher drew the bowie knife from her belt.
Ray backed away from her. She clanked the weapons together rhythmically.
The human animals howled for elf meat. Ray continued back

(01:46:58):
pedaling until he felt the wet nose of the terrier
touch his hand. The dog let out a deep, throaty
growl and licked his fingers. Don't you know, Ray said,
with a giggle. Elves are one with nature, even psycho
mutch like this. One. Gimp nuzzled its head under his arm,

(01:47:18):
and Ray gave him pets. Thatcher stopped in her tracks.
I bet I know what a good puppy like you
wants for Christmas, Ray chirped, happily chew toys. The terrier
bolted down the corridor, launching itself at the wannabees. The
second pounced on him, biting into the dog's shoulder. Gimp
didn't even make a yip before swinging around and tearing

(01:47:41):
out the man's throat. Thatcher stumbled backwards, slipping in the
arterial spray. The dog in the remaining guard locked up
gimp latched onto the man's crotch, drawing a high pitch wail.
Good boy, you found his squeaker. Ray slouched. Shit, I
feel like Michael Vick watching this. Thatcher scrambled down the

(01:48:04):
hallway with the dog on her heels. Ray whistled as
he skipped away from the carnage to find the stairwell.
He crept down stealthily, stopping to listen at the door.
He could hear a ruckus beyond, and decided to try
another floor. Ray could rewrite the naughty list from memory.
He knew who else housed on kill U Island. Some

(01:48:26):
of them wouldn't make it easy to keep his word
to missus Claws. On the third floor, Ray paused to listen.
His ears twitched at the melodic giggling. Normal people do
not giggle in the middle of a prison riot. He
didn't need heightened sentences to hear the screams that came next.
The naughtiest inmate on the island was locked up in

(01:48:48):
the basement. Ray knew that's where Pain would be going
if he wasn't there already. Unfortunately, that meant crossing the
east wing of the facility. He knelt suddenly put his
palm to the floor. Toy makers had to have an
amazing sense of touch. It helped with stalking naughty children

(01:49:08):
as well. Someone was coming up the stairs. His wide
nostrils flared, taking in the scent chemicals clung to his nosehairs.
He had a pretty good idea who it was and
exactly what the kid had asked for this Christmas. Ray
was out of options. He slid through the door, closing

(01:49:29):
it gently behind him. The five girls didn't notice him
as they played ring around the rosie with one of
their dismembered but not dead cellmates. The arms and legs
still twitched and danced next to the wriggling torso. Ray slumped,
Bridget and Patty Booth led the sing song chant all

(01:49:51):
together in a circle, wee saying the name of the
most wicked thing, mister Jolly the Smiling King, except the
sacrifice that we bring, mister Jolly the Smiling King, master
of all that bite and staying for you we kill
and dance and saying enough, Ray whistled and clapped his hands.

(01:50:15):
The girls quit dancing, and the circle broke into a
human chain that blocked the hall. They stared at the
elf quizzically, this looks like a really fun slumber party,
Ray pointed at the sacrifice. Well maybe not for her,
but you need to get to bed now. Santa is
bringing everyone presents, but only if you're sound asleep when

(01:50:37):
he gets here. Fuck Santa, Pat squeaked. We don't need
that judgmental bastard. Yeah, like, I've got two of those
at home. Bridget added, they're called parents. We have the
Smiling King. The other girls said in unison. Oh yeah,
that was creepy. Ray patted the air. Hate to tell you,

(01:51:00):
but your creepy pasta is a little undercooked. There is
no mister Jolly is coming, the dismembered girl said, with
a mouthful of blood. It worked, Hail the Smiling King.
The lights flickered in the hallway. You've got to be
fucking kidding me. Ray drew his scimitar. It's a stupid

(01:51:22):
internet story, what Santa, Bridget asked. If you believe in something,
really believe it's real. Santa is real, Elves are real,
mister Jolly is real. This is what we really want
for Christmas. Pat said, mister Jolly, the smiling king. A

(01:51:46):
deep voice sang inside a cell the name of the
most wicked thing. The lights went out completely. The inhuman
voice laughed. Ray's eyes adjusted quickly, and he saw the
girls jumping about giddaly. Spindly fingers gripped the bars of
the cell. Spiders scurried from his sleeves and over the

(01:52:10):
claw like digits. Ray heard muffled buzzing. The entity still
hiding in the abyss wretched, and the swarm of wasps
billowed out into the corridor. Ray bolted for the door.
He cranked on the handle. It wouldn't budge. A widow

(01:52:30):
twisted gracefully on a strand of silk until it rested
on his nose. Ray flicked it away and followed the
string up to a shiny cufflink. A lithe deathly hand
held the door at the top. Ray turned slowly and
looked up at the demonic thing the children had summoned.

(01:52:50):
It glared down at him with bulging eyes ringed with
ragged flesh where lids had been cut away. Its gaunt
face hung open, and an oversized smile held together with
rawhide stitching. The king is holding court, it hissed, without

(01:53:11):
moving its mouth. Sorry, Pally, but I like my creepy
pastas with extra red sauce. Ray swung the Tomatian's sword
across the creature's torso, slicing a wide gash that erupted
with insects. They spilled over peppermint Ray, biting and stinging
his flesh. He dived between the monster's legs and rolled

(01:53:32):
across the floor to squish as many as he could.
The lights flicked back on mister Jolly was gone. Ray
looked around. The child coltists were slumped on the floor,
covered in masses of swollen welts, and all wearing impossibly

(01:53:53):
wide smiles. Ray touched a raised knot on his cheek
and gingerly plucked the singer from the center. I don't
care if I did just see you. I don't believe
in you, he shouted, So there, you can't hurt me.
The lights flickered and Ray screamed. The door opened at

(01:54:15):
the opposite end of the hall. Mister Jolly's laughter echoed
from the other side. Fucking crazy dominatrix, bitch, people acting
like dogs and lunatics everywhere, Now a supernatural monster. This
is worse than Christmas with Crampus. Ray threw his hands

(01:54:35):
into the air. What's next? The door banged open behind him,
chest nuts roasting on an open fire. The little boy sang.
Ray dropped to the ground as the jet of napalm
blazed over him. He turned over and watched Milo the
Pyro blast the nearest cell with his flamethrower. Doesn't anyone

(01:54:59):
in this fuck king place just want a teddy ruxpin?
Ray kipped up to his feet. Listen, Milo, you're a
pretty good kid. I mean, who hasn't burned down a
house or seven? Right? Do you know who I am? Yeah?
You make those awesome cookies with fudge. Milo smiled. I

(01:55:20):
like those, No I do not. Ray saw the boy's
eyes fill with hate. Do not just make the fudge ones?
I make them all. I'm the head cookie chef that
sounds made up. Milo said, Look at these shoes, Milo,
Ray wiggled his foot. Look at these pointy fucking ears.

(01:55:44):
Do I look like a garden gnome? No? I look
like an elf. Elves don't lie about serious shit, and
there is no shit more serious than cookies to an
elf cool. Milo jabbed the flamethrower towards him. I'm going
to burn this place down now. Can't deliver cookies to

(01:56:05):
a pile of ash. Ray shrugged, health code and all that.
I just signed a deal with Santa. The naughty nice
thing is over. Naughty kids are getting presents now, and
he knows how much you love my cookies. Then why
be nice? Milo torched another cell because there's better presence

(01:56:27):
for the nice kids. Ray waved his hand. They're still
working out the details, but point is, you get cookies
on Christmas morning if you stop setting fires the striped
ones too, he asked. Ray looked over his shoulder at
the open door. A spider crawled along the jam, and

(01:56:49):
somewhere down the stairs he heard jolly snickering. He turned
back to Milo and smiled. Let me borrow that flamethrower
and I'll throwing cookies so special that only elves have
ever tasted them. Ray watched the jellied petroleum burn on

(01:57:11):
the cinder block wall with a bemused grin. He blasted
the flamethrower down each set of stairs to clear the path,
until he finally arrived in the basement. A rusted gate
stood ajar next to an unmanned security desk. Bare bulbs flickered,
casting shadow puppets on the walls. The heavy steel doors

(01:57:33):
of solitary confinement cells were open. Smells drifted down the
corridor that made Ray's stomach growl. Someone was cooking burgers.
His face paled. They didn't cook burgers in prison basements.
It had to be a Christmas request, and if anyone
in the hole was requesting delicious all meat patties, it

(01:57:57):
had to be Robbie Mocker. Vomit hit the back of
Ray's teeth, but he choked it back down. Each cell
he passed was empty. The aroma grew stronger, and despite
knowing that or who was in those paddies, Ray had
to admit that the smell was exquisite. He rounded the corner,

(01:58:18):
his finger tense against the trigger. Sugar plum. Gary shoved
an arm into the meat grinder and hopped off the
step ladder to work the crank. Ray watched the arm
descend into the machine. The process made the hand wave
at him as it disappeared and came out the other
end in ropeie pink strands that dropped into a bowl.

(01:58:40):
Gary pinched two balls of the meat and smashed them
onto an electric griddle. He slapped cheese on a pair
that were already cooking. The toaster popped noisily, almost causing
Ray to torch the makeshift kitchen prematurely, Gary, who sucked
at everything, was a short order savant. Hurry up out there,

(01:59:01):
Candy pain barked from the last cell on the left.
He's still hungry. Order up, Gary declared, happily. Then bring
it here, Gary, It's not a present if you don't
deliver it. Ray whistled. Gary turned and dropped the burger.
The lights went out, and Ray pulled the trigger, filling
the hallway with fire and smell of burning gingerbread. Gary's

(01:59:25):
immolated body bounced off the walls before collapsing next to
the table. Through the flickering flames, Ray saw the unnatural
smile hiding in the dark. Mister Jolly unfolded himself from
the tight space, his legs stepping over his torso like
a spider. Before he stood upright, wasps crawled along his lips.

(01:59:47):
Ray raised the flamethrower. I brought my bug spray this time, Pally,
You ever been burned alive? I have it sucks and
as much as it would jingle my bells to find
out how flammable you are, I got some more pressing issues.
Don't you want to smile? Ray? The King asked, you

(02:00:09):
could smile forever I will be after I kill you.
But let's stick a pin in that just for now.
When you want to play, just sing, mister jolly sank
into the shadows, sing for the King, the most wicked thing.

(02:00:30):
Ray let the flamethrower fall to the floor and stepped
into the doorway of the kinder cannibal cell. The obese
child used his fingers to force the last bite of
burger into his overstuffed mouth. Is that enough? Candy? Paine asked?
Are you satisfied? Now? Have I granted you the buffet
you most wanted for Christmas? Robbie shook his head and

(02:00:54):
his cheeks kept moving afterwards. He was in kindergarten when
he realized he liked the taste of people. Then one
day in third grade, he decided to turn his class
into a goddamn Denny's. At his trial, he said, people
whose names end in vowel sounds taste better. Ray knocked
on the door as he entered the tiny room. You'll

(02:01:17):
never get away with this, Ray snickered, get it, Yule, Yeah,
you never did have a sense of humor. I knew
he'd send you candy. Pain said, if I give the
naughtiest kids the presence they want the most, then this
whole system burns. Without Santa, humans will destroy themselves through

(02:01:38):
their own avarice. Ray tapped his ear. Do you hear
that the sleigh bells? Pain scoffed. I know your corny
lines as well as I know your tactics. I got
some mistletoe hanging off my belt. How about you kiss
me under it? Ray pointed at the ceiling. The storm's over, dipshit.

(02:02:02):
Santa's giving naughty kids presents too, Because you're right, humans
are greedy, and you you're jealous of that. Candy. Pain
rose from the bunk. His hand moved to his dagger.
When you put love into things instead of people, it
becomes greed. Christmas has shown us that, but it's shown

(02:02:23):
us what they can do when they love each other too.
Ray drew his knife. For all we've got going for us,
elves can't love. You're wrong, because I'm going to love
gutting you, Ray, Ray Robbie muttered, in a spew of
crumbs a sound. The cannibal scurried through the discarded leftovers

(02:02:47):
and clamped his teeth into Ray's leg. He chewed the
muscle until he gnawed deep enough for a good solid bite,
and jerked his head back with a hunk of elf
meat oozing between his lips. Yo mean, rob, he said
as he chewed. I want more. I want elf burgers
for Christmas. Ray limped out of the room. He tried

(02:03:08):
to think of a plan that didn't involve stabbing the
kid in the face, but it was the most appealing option.
Gingerbread wafted to his schnauz. Ray looked at the knife
in his hand. In his very long life, he'd never
known missus claws to be wrong about anything. He hobbled
to Gary's burnt corpse and collapsed next to it. He

(02:03:32):
cut away a slab of blackened muscle and tossed it
onto a single paper plate. Ray held the plate up
as the kinder cannibal sprang on him once more. Merry Christmas,
he squeaked. Robbie snatched the plate from him and sniffed it.
I want burgers. That is better than burger's. Ray said that, well,

(02:03:57):
that's a Gary Meal. Gary. Robbie accented the vowel sound
and took a bite. Gary meal is yummy, too, seasoned
with my secret blend of herbs and napalm. Ray snapped
off one of Gary's ribs and got to his feet.
Every Gary Meal comes with a prize too. Ray worked

(02:04:18):
at the bone with his dagger, putting his Elvin toy
making abilities to task. As he quickly whittled it into
a figure. He stretched to hand it to Robbie. All
kids deserve toys for Christmas, and that is special because
it's just for you. It's a limited edition. What is it,
Robbie asked. It's a superhero looks like a fish. That's

(02:04:42):
because it's Aquaman. Ray rolled his eyes. Look pally. Last year,
I would have just killed you. So shitty action figures
are a step up. Now, how about you go back
to your room and I'll make you another Gary Meal.
You're fucking dead. Candy Pain charged down the hall, spring
off Robbie's back and launching himself into the air with
his dagger cocked back. The light glinted on the serrated

(02:05:06):
teeth of the blade. Ray jumped back, narrowly dodging the attack.
Pain slashed for Ray's throat. A spray of indigo blood
drenched both elves faces. Ray twisted his dagger and pulled
it free. Guess you don't know my tactics that well,
after all, Candy Andy. Ray let the elf fall. Robbie

(02:05:28):
crawled to him. Candy Andy, He accented the final sound
of each word, double yum. Andy's gurgling screams echoed down
the halls. As the kinder cannibal dragged the elf to
his cell for a late night snack. Ray listened to
the begging until it was replaced with noisy chewing. He

(02:05:50):
pursed his lips and nodded, Merry Christmas, pally. Ray limped
around a pool of shadow and locked the cell and
to all a good night inner. Rage by Rob Fields,

(02:06:16):
chapter one. Christmas Eve is here again, only this year
and the many others that follow I'll be spending it
at glen View Correctional Facility, which is located just a
short drive from North Ridgeway. This place has been my
home ever since I turned myself in shortly after bringing

(02:06:40):
down the Queen of Hearts serial killer. You see, I
was also a serial killer known as the Angel of Death.
Keep in mind, I never referred to myself as that.
It was simply what the media called me, mainly because
I only killed people who I believe deserved to die,

(02:07:04):
like high profile criminals and other serial killers. I might
still be a serial killer today if I hadn't met
Detective Drake Kasmarak. Drake seemingly came to Strickfield, where I
was attending university at the time, to fill a detective
opening that his uncle had in the police department. In truth,

(02:07:27):
Drake was in Strickfield to find and capture me. Drake
had done much homework and determined I was in that
very village. Shortly after he arrived at the station, I
showed up at the request of Chief Jeffrey Kasmarak. I
was a police intern and assigned to Drake. I believe

(02:07:48):
it was right then and there that Drake fell madly
in love with me. At the time, I couldn't feel emotions,
but I knew there was an ulterior motive for his
being in Strickfield. As Drake mentored me during my off
campus hours, I decided to take my mentor as my
new mate and applied myself to being his perfect girlfriend.

(02:08:12):
Little did he realize that the serial killer he was
looking for was right under his nose and in his bed.
Why was Drake determined to capture me? Years ago, during
my time in high school, I had killed a former
North Ridgeway High teacher named Annie Judge. She was prostituting

(02:08:33):
herself and selling drugs to my fellow students, even underaged kids.
When a girl turned up missing and I discovered she
was dead, I trapped Annie Judge and ended her. Little
did I realize that this particular kill would come back
to haunt me in the form of Drake, who was

(02:08:55):
Annie's former lover. Maybe Drake wanted to fall in love
with me, and maybe he didn't. I've never asked him this.
Even though I was putting myself in danger of him
discovering me being a serial killer, I chose to be
with him, knowing that he was a good man. Choosing
to remain with Drake was what ultimately became my undoing

(02:09:18):
as a serial killer. Drake loved me so much that
he wanted to marry me, to which I accepted his proposal.
The Queen of Heart's Killer had a personal vendetta with
me and let me know she wanted to finish a
prior conflict from before. I was ready to kill Rigby Brewster,
the Queen of Hearts, but Drake begged and pleaded with

(02:09:41):
me not to end her. It was in that one
moment that he took me in his arms and kissed me.
It was that one magical moment, that one triggering event
I waited my whole life for Drake had finally caused
me to feel the very emotions I had longed for.

(02:10:02):
In that moment, I knew I loved Drake the same
way he loved me. Even though Drake had finally found
the person who had killed any judge, he couldn't forsake me.
He still wanted to marry me. I can swear by
it that Drake is one of the most honest cops
you'll ever meet. He was always by the book on everything,

(02:10:24):
even when he was mentoring me in my university years.
But this one time, Drake was willing to look the
other way, not just because he loved me, but because
I never killed innocent people or children. The problem with that, however,
was that my new emotions came back on me. I

(02:10:48):
had a horrible nightmare of me killing some random person
the way I've done so many hundreds of killers and
criminals before. That was when I told Drake to arrest me,
even though it hurt him deep to have to do it.
He read me my rights and took me to the station.
I confessed to being the Angel of Death to Chief Cosmarak.

(02:11:13):
I was found guilty at my trial and sentenced to
life here at the glen View Correctional Facility. However, I
wouldn't be placed with the general population. My mama, Detective
Chantelle Devereaux, and Drake both had influence on the account
of their reputations as detectives and went to bat for me.
It was decided that I could have certain privileges in

(02:11:36):
return for my services. I would help solve cases when
they were presented to me. Because of my highly photographic memory.
I was a great service in this aspect. Plus, I
think like a killer. I'm in my very own special cell,
which gives me many of the comforts of home. It's

(02:11:58):
kind of like having a little apartment, except I can't
always come and go when I please. I do get
to go outside, but I'm all by myself and am
constantly watched by the guards. Mama and Drake can both
come visit me anytime they want. I've even had visits
from both Chief Kasmarak and Chief Montgomery Cobbs, my mom's boss.

(02:12:21):
You'd think i'd be regretting turning myself in here's the irony,
though I don't. I've been at peace ever since I
got locked up. The only thing that really hurts is Drake.
I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times
I've told him to forget about me and find someone
else who would be better suited for him, but he

(02:12:44):
will not turn away from me. In fact, he still
wants to marry me. Even though I'm in glen View
for the rest of my life. Drake still won't give
me up. Every so often he proposes to me again
and wants to give me back my engagement ring that
I returned to him once he arrested me. My problem

(02:13:06):
here is that Drake challenges me to look him in
the eyes and tell him I want him out of
my life. If I can just tell him that, he'll
respect my wishes and never come back. But every time
I try, I burst into tears and clutch him to me.
Mama told me that you can't just turn emotions on
and off. I hate when she's right. So Drake and

(02:13:30):
I are still together. Like I said, it's Christmas Eve.
I'm sitting in my cell visiting with Mama. She's proud
of me for having helped solve some heavy cases in
the last month. Unfortunately, Mama won't be able to spend
the night with me since she's on duty. She said

(02:13:51):
she'd be back in the afternoon for Christmas. I told
her I'd be okay since Drake was coming and would
be spending the night with me. After Mama and I
wish each other Merry Christmas, she leaves. Now it's just
me and the guard at her station. Chapter two. Chessie

(02:14:16):
Carver has been one of the guards assigned to sit
outside my cell since I was first placed in here.
At first, she didn't know what to make of me,
but in time we started talking to each other. We
came to build trust and understanding between us. In fact,
it's getting close to the evening when Drake shows up
and sees us playing chess. When he sees me pondering

(02:14:40):
my next move, he asks me if I'm okay. I
look up at him. This is what I get for
teaching Chessie everything I know about chess. Drake watches us
finish our game. Chessie beats me barely. After I congratulate
her on a game well played, she leaves my cell
and return turns to her station. Of course, she locks

(02:15:03):
Drake and I in. Drake again makes my emotions rise
when he lays a huge bag of Denoyer's grill down
on the table. I told you i'd bring you something
wonderful for dinner, Drake reminds me. I start to cry
a little when I smell those delicious pancakes and the burghers. Wow,

(02:15:25):
everything's still warm. You must have floored it from Denoyers
all the way here. What did you do turn on
the siren when you left there? Drake laughs. No, Actually,
there weren't too many people on the road on Christmas Eve.
I look at the clock and see it's around six
by now. Many people are probably home or with family

(02:15:45):
and friends to enjoy Christmas Eve. Having Drake here with
me makes me glad I don't have to spend tonight
or tomorrow alone. Before I never really cared whether I
was alone or not, not when I didn't have feeling
you okay, rage, Drake asks, Yeah, I quickly reply, I'm fine.

(02:16:09):
We look at each other for a little bit. Then
Drake moves and sets the table. When he's done, he's
laid out a nice feast of breakfast and dinner foods.
Dig in, Drake invites me. Chessie gets up and leaves
for a little bit. Normally she's not supposed to do that,
but she kind of makes it a point when Drake

(02:16:30):
and I are together like this. She's heard us talking
to each other before and hasn't heard anything taboo. She's
even been there when we've made out. I've even told
her I'm not the least bit bothered by her. Still
she gives us alone time At times. Drake and I
have our Denoyer's grill feast and talk about whatever. Drake

(02:16:53):
again thanks me for all I do with helping the
police force in spite of my current situation. Can I
finish eating? I clear off the table and throw away
the trash. Before I can sit down, Drake takes hold
of my wrist and eases me to sit on his lap.
We look at each other for a long moment before

(02:17:13):
we have some kisses. Since Drake will be spending the
night with me tonight, I can't wait until we can
be intimate. The more we kiss, the more I'm finding
it hard to be able to wait. Eventually, we do
stop so we can catch our breaths. I love you,
he tells me. I close my eyes and bow my

(02:17:34):
head a little. I still say you could do so
much better than me. He puts his finger under my
chin and raises my head back up. I open my
eyes and look into his. Just tell me to my face,
just say it and mean it, and I'll leave you
right now. Once again, he's challenging me. I don't even

(02:17:57):
get to have another attempt. When I feel the tears
on my face when Drake holds me, I can't help
holding him back. You deserve better, I persist. When I
finish crying, Drake has the engagement ring out again again.
I try to tell Drake to leave me and never
look back, but the tears come more than ever. It

(02:18:20):
hurts more and more each time, thinking of a life
without Drake. I don't care that you're in here rage,
Drake tells me again, like he's told me so many
times before, I can come see you whenever I want.
I can even stay with you. We should be living
together in our own place, not here in prison. I

(02:18:43):
tell him I don't care where we are. He insists,
you'll always have me in your life. I'm never letting
you go. I quickly get off Drake's lap and tighten
my fists. But what will your family say about you
marrying a serial killer? I told you how many lives
I've taken. Drake gets up to confront me. I don't

(02:19:06):
care what my family says. I only care about you.
I really tighten my fists now. I won't let you
throw away your life on me, Drake. I feel myself
really shaking now, I'm practically sobbing. Just as I'm about
to scream for him to leave me, I fall to

(02:19:28):
my knees. Drake lowers himself and comforts me, as he's
also done so many times before. Am I really so
scared of losing him? Yes? I'm reminded of that again
when we're kissing. I can't wait any longer. It's when
I hear CHESSI fastening the locks on my cell that

(02:19:50):
she knows we need our alone time. It's once we
hear her leave and lock that door behind her that
we quickly work to get each other. There's clothes off
chapter three, Drake and I are spooned up together under
the covers and watching TV. I can't help looking at

(02:20:12):
the engagement ring again. He placed it on my finger
and challenged me to take it off. It feels so
wrong on so many levels, But at the same time,
I know I can never remove it. I know I
truly belong to him. You're going straight to hell with me.
I tell him, you know that, right, If that's where

(02:20:35):
we're getting married, then I accept. He tells me. We
kiss again, Then we get dressed and sit with each other.
After a time, Chessie comes back in and unlocks my cell.
When I look to her for an explanation, she reminds
me that I'm allowed my time to leave my cell.
Drake's allowed to take me to the rooms designated my

(02:20:58):
free spaces. While other prisoners here can access these rooms
during their times, they're not supposed to know when I'm
even here. That's why I have my own private area
and don't have a cellmate. Also, I can access rooms
like the library because the other prisoners are locked up
for the night. As long as Drake or Mama is

(02:21:18):
with me, a guard doesn't always have to be Drake
and I head into the library and sit again. He
tells me he wants to marry me. I tell him
he knows my answer. Since I can't bring myself to
remove the ring, I look at it again. I'll go
straight to hell with you, he promises me, taking and

(02:21:40):
holding my hands. Nothing is ever going to separate us,
not even this prison. I squeeze his hands back. I
truly do want better for him, but my emotions won't
let me lose him. I love him way too much. However,
Drake and I were about to have our love put
to the test this very night. The test was about

(02:22:04):
to start once we got up and started walking around
the safe rooms again. We walk out into one of
the hallways and head to the little theater. We go
in and head up to the projection booth to see
what we can watch together. Drake and I have watched
movies in here together before. He tells me he's found
a good Christmas movie for us to watch and puts

(02:22:26):
it in as soon as he turns the digital projector on.
That's when the terror begins. Chapter four. Drake reaches me
when he sees me bent over the body of Sherman
Biggs near the screen. One of the older guards I

(02:22:46):
got along with. We had many conversations in the library
on nights careful rage. Drake warns me, don't let the
other guards here see her. You can vouch for me,
I remind him. Quickly, Look at these. I point to
the two puncture marks on Sherman's neck. This would explain

(02:23:06):
why the body's pale. When Drake looks at me, I
can tell he really doesn't want to believe it. Oh,
if Mama saw the look on his face right now,
she'd be given him Hell. Why won't you believe? I ask?
You've seen vampires for yourself, Drake. Mama and I have
both proven to you they're real. You were with us

(02:23:27):
the night we took down Sheranda Thorn. You've seen vampires
with your own two eyes. Drake seems to be at
a loss for words. I groan, annoyed at his continued disbelief.
If Mama was here right now, she'd slap you upside
the head. Now he's giving me that look. I know
Drake's never been comfortable around Mama. He's endured her for

(02:23:50):
my sake. I point to Drake, you stay close to me,
Stay close to you. You're not even armed rage, Drake
counter pulling his gun. He's right looking around. I can't
pick up any of the chairs and break them for stakes,
since they're all metal and attached to the floor. Suddenly

(02:24:11):
I have an idea. I grab Drake's hand. Let's go,
rage Drake protests. I lead Drake through one room after
another until we come into the chapel. Fortunately, this supposedly
holy place is open twenty four to seven. I pull
open the door and we both gasp. There's blood all

(02:24:31):
over the altar from the priest who's hanging from the
large cross overshadowing it. I had a feeling you would
come here eventually, Reagan Devereaux. A feminine voice calls out.
We look to see the telltale woman getting up from
one of the pews and turning to face us. She

(02:24:52):
looks like she's in her early forties. I can see
the facial features and immediately know who this woman is
related to. Yes, you recognize me, do you not? Then
she chuckles, you remember my daughter whom you destroyed. Your
mother took my son. However, Sherandah was my favorite. Maximilian

(02:25:16):
was a fool. It was no wonder that he died.
She points to me. But you you killed my daughter,
and I must now rectify that by killing you. She
smiles wickedly. And the man you love. She holds her
hands outward. Naturally, you came here to seek weapons to

(02:25:39):
fight us with. When she sees the look on my face,
she knows she's got the upper hand. You did not
think I would come to this prison alone. Oh, I
will battle with you myself. I just needed my minions
to make sure it would be just the two of us.

(02:26:00):
There are no other guards here to help you now,
she raises her finger, and you need not worry about
the prisoners. They shall remain locked in their cells. Ah,
here they are now. Now I see there are other
vampires emerging from their hiding places. Their hissing noises and

(02:26:21):
their red eyes tell me, Drake and I are going
to have our hands full. Have you taken care of
every last guard here? The Thorn Woman asks, we have
one of the answers. Excellent. Then she looks back at me.
We shall play a little game, you and I. Suddenly

(02:26:43):
she appears right in front of me and knocks me
on my ass. When Drake raises his gun, she snatches
it from him and crushes it much to his horror
and disbelief. Next, she grabs Drake and tosses him to
her minions. They grab him and keep him with them.

(02:27:04):
When I get up, the woman is in my face. Now.
I could easily kill you right now, but that would
be far too easy. Miranda would never want me to
kill you easily. No, I taught her to be more
ruthless than that. Oh, where are my manners? I know

(02:27:25):
your name, but you need to know mine. I believe
you must know I am a thorn, but you may
call me Miranda. When she sees me looking uneasily at Drake,
she turns my attention back to her. You need not
worry about your lover, Reagan, she addresses her minions. Under

(02:27:47):
no circumstances are any of you to harm that mortal
in any way. He is to be the prize in
our contest. Am I understood? When I hear the minions
agree to commands, Miranda turns her attention back to me.
Here are the rules of our contest. I shall give

(02:28:08):
you a fifteen minute head start. From there, I shall
hunt you down myself. My underlings will keep your lover
safe and secure. You have until the end of Christmas Eve.
Just under three hours, if you are still alive at
the stroke of midnight, or in the unlikely event that

(02:28:29):
you and me, both you and your lover have earned
your freedom and your lives. However, when I find and
destroy you, then my reward shall be both vengeance for
my daughter, and I shall lay claim to your lover
by siring him and making him my new husband. Then,

(02:28:54):
Miranda laughs coldly. The fear on both of you is
so ripeically taste it on my own tongue. She points
to the clock. Your fifteen minute head start begins. Now,
if I were you, Reagan, I'd be taking every advantage

(02:29:14):
of that time. I have no choice. Fortunately, I know
enough about glen View to have an advantage over these
blood sucking freaks. I just know I have to save Drake.
I turn around and run out of the chapel. Chapter five.
It doesn't take me long to find some tools to

(02:29:36):
help me. I came across a few of the bodies
of the guards. Naranda wasn't lying when she said her
minions took them all down. They're all pale, which means
they were drained of their blood. I find keys and
key cards on the first guard. On the next one,
I find a gun and take it. I won't be
able to use it against Aranda or any of the

(02:29:58):
other vampires, but it's better to have a gun than
have nothing at all. I won't let Miranda take me unarmed.
If I go down against her, then I'm going down
knowing I was fighting. I've been counting the time in
my mind. So far i haven't seen her. When I
come into the gymnasium, I see the big clock on

(02:30:18):
the middle wall and see Nearanda has kept her word.
I've got one minute left before she'll start pursuing me.
I'm shaking as I'm trying to keep my focus. I've
never gotten used to the feeling of fear. I hate
to admit it, but I'm really scared. I'm scared that
Miranda will kill me, but I'm more afraid she'll make

(02:30:41):
good on her promise to Drake. The fifteen minutes are up. Now,
Nearanda lets me know when I hear the long shrill whistle.
Hard to believe that vampire kept her word. I'll have
to consider the possibility that she may be a master vampire.
If she is, then I'll have to both stake her
and cut her head off. Then I remember telling Drake

(02:31:04):
how Mama would have slapped him upside the head for
his disbelief. Mama would give me hell if she knew
I wasn't thinking straight and not calling upon the lessons
about vampires and other supernatural beings she taught me. No,
Mama's not going to find my dead body. I'm not
going to let Mama down again, not like this. Mama

(02:31:25):
taught me better than that. I'm not going to let
the man I love down either. I may not have
the bloodlust anymore, but that doesn't count against vampires. They're
already dead. I still have my highly photographic memory. I
still remember each in every kill I've ever done, how
they died, what date, and what I destroyed them for.

(02:31:50):
I remember everything Mama taught me regarding the supernatural. My
mind is how I'll destroy you, Neranda. Just as I'm
contemplating a plan, I hear some clacking on the floor.
As I reached the end of a long hall, I
turn and see a large wolf looking right at me,
and no, it's Neranda. She changed into a wolf and

(02:32:11):
tracked me down by my scent. The wolf growls and
runs swiftly towards me. I'm ready to turn and run.
But I don't have to do I. In that moment,
I lose my fear and look right at Miranda as
she's closing the gap between us. I've got grim determination
now and know how I'm winning this round. That's it, Queenie,

(02:32:36):
just keep on coming. I'll show you how I've dealt
with bad dogs. In fact, a very bad dog was
my first kill. A very bad dog was how I
learned I was a serial killer. Just as Miranda is
ready to leap up and at me, I drop my
gun and suddenly snatch her and drive her right to
the floor. Just as quickly, she springs back to her

(02:32:59):
feet and bites me on the wrist. Even though I
no longer have my bloodlust, I still feel very little pain.
This is a double edged sword for me. I just
told you the positive side. The negative is that I
can become injured and not know it, which means I
can potentially bleed to death. Now I'm mad. Wow, I

(02:33:21):
really love being mad. I'm wishing I could have felt
this emotion much sooner. I'm so mad right now that
I roar and kick Neranda hard in her chest enough
to make her break her hold on my wrist while
she's stunned. I lower myself to take hold of the
back of her head and her muzzle and snap her
head hard enough to hear her neck break. Miranda yelps

(02:33:46):
and goes limp. No, I haven't defeated her, but I
have temporarily stunned her and bought myself a little time.
I spring and slide the door shut before I run again.
I know these doors are sealed enough to prevent smoke
from penetrating them, which happened many years ago when prisoners
got loose and rioted. This was long before I was born,

(02:34:10):
by the way, Also, Mama was at university and wasn't
in North Ridgeway around that time. I'm already concocting another
plan and am finalizing the details when I hear the
sliding door give way Nearanda had to have returned to
her human form after she healed from her neck injury.
She either snapped the locks on the sliding door or

(02:34:32):
she warped past it. As long as Naranda can't see me,
she can't warp right to me. Unfortunately, turning off all
the lights won't help me since she has vampire vision.
I hear clacking on the floor again and know she's
returned to her wolf form, likely tracking my blood this

(02:34:53):
time precisely what I was counting on. In fact, Miranda,
I already know how I'm going to defeat you. At least. Yes,
you kept your word by giving me a fifteen minute
head start that you promised, but that doesn't mean you'll
keep your word about releasing Drake when I defeat you,
and trust me when I say, your punishment shall most

(02:35:15):
certainly fit the crime. Like I said, you're dead, even
though I no longer have my insistent bloodlust commanding me
to take lives from before. I don't have to feel
guilty about killing you since you're not alive. But in
order for me to accomplish my objective and defeat you

(02:35:37):
and your minions, I have to get to one specific
area of the prison. It'll be there where we finish
our game. I run down a couple flights of stairs
to get to the ground floor and head to the
laundry room. When I get inside, I quickly remove my
clothes underwear too. First, I take care of my bites

(02:35:58):
by rinsing them out and using clean cloths to bandage them. Now,
I grab some dirty clothes out of one of the
washpiles and quickly put them on. These clothes really stink,
but they may be enough to conceal my own scent.
After slipping my feet into shoes, I find I get
out of the laundry room and resume my destination. A

(02:36:21):
few moments later, I hear a loud, shrill scream sounds
to me like Nearanda's lost my scent. I know I
can't gloat too much. Nearanda knows other ways she can
pick me up again. She's been a vampire for far
too long to not have other means of detection, including

(02:36:41):
picking up the smell of my blood again. Chapter six,
I'm proven right. When I go to cross through another hallway.
I'm about to shut that sliding door behind me when
I feel Neranda's close. Suddenly the door or comes flying away.

(02:37:01):
Miranda gasps with either happiness that I'm giving her a
challenge or that she's finally caught up to me. Who
can say, Please, do not make this easy for me, Reagan,
She says, I still wish to have fun with you.
She licks her lips, and your blood tastes just delicious.

(02:37:23):
I was hoping I wouldn't have to use these yet,
I tell her but you're not leaving me with much choice.
I step up to her as she's putting her hands
on my arms. I grab the neck of her form
fitting dress and pull it open to drop what's in
my hand inside. Miranda shrieks and screams when she feels
the holy wafers. I manage to snap up at the

(02:37:45):
bloody altar burning her flesh. Both her skin and the
gown are aflame. Since she's going to have to sort
that out, I've got time to run again. I don't
know how much time I'm going to have before Noranda
will be back to hunting me again. I can see
the blood from my wrists soaking through my makeshift bandage.
She'll smell that again and easily pick up the trail. Also,

(02:38:08):
since she got close enough to me, she'll know the
scent of these stinky clothes. Fortunately, I'm almost where I
need to get to. I reach the women's shower room.
Before I go in, I quickly get naked and turn
on the water to hear all the nozzles fire up
at once. I walk inside and stand underneath a spray
of steamy water at the back center. When Miranda enters

(02:38:29):
and sees me, Oh, the look of confusion on her face.
What is the meaning of this, Reagan? She asks? Then
she smirks, are you Are you offering yourself to me
to save your lover? Is that what you really think?
I murmur, running my hands from the front to the

(02:38:51):
rear of my long, wet, dirty blonde hair. She's really
confused now when I raise my finger for her to see. Next,
I move my finger to my neck and trace down
in between my large breasts all the way to my
belly button. Then I trace my finger across my skin,

(02:39:12):
just underneath my breasts. The water continues to spray down
on me as I just stand there and wait for her.
I'm all yours, Miranda. I tell her all you have
to do is just join me in the shower. Then
I smirk, if you can. She's still not sure what

(02:39:34):
I've got in mind, but she walks towards me. The
showers are wetting her down. It's when she starts to
come under my spray that she suddenly cries out in
pain and hisses as she gets away from me. What
is this, she demands? Then she tries to come and
grab me again. Like before, her skin burns when the

(02:39:55):
water spraying from my nozzle touches her as for me,
I'm fine. The water's warm to hot, but not burning
me in the slightest. In fact, the water feels very relaxing.
Miranda tries grabbing me a couple more times. In determination,
she warps behind me and wraps her arms around me.
I cry out when she sinks her fangs into me again,

(02:40:17):
this time at my shoulder. She holds on for as
long as she can as she drinks from me. I
can actually feel the pain of her fangs in my flesh.
But why does this feel so wonderful? I think I
love pain. Miranda can't hold onto me anymore, since she's
in way more pain from the water than what she's

(02:40:38):
giving me. She finally lets go and warps away from
my shower spray shit, I'm bleeding again, Neranda glares at
me now, much to my surprise, she's not the least
bit angry with me. Yes, you are giving me quite
the challenge, Reagan Devereux, She licks her lips. Your blood

(02:41:00):
is so incredibly delicious. I think I may just keep
you and drink from you on special occasions. Perhaps you
shall be the special reserve label blood. I drink after
I marry your man. I can see the steam coming
off of her burning skin. How are you able to
be safe from me under your shower? It's not this

(02:41:24):
shower alone, I inform her. It's any shower I happen
to stand underneath. I start to close up my chosen
vampire trap when I leave the nozzle I'm under and
move to another. See for yourself. Miranda cautiously moves to
the nozzle I was underneath. Sure enough, her skin's not

(02:41:44):
burning under that spray now. Yet she comes too close
to the spray I'm now underneath, and her skin is
burning again. She curses me, but is oddly happy at
the same time. I quickly move to the shower entrance,
where there are two heavy spraying nozzles. I squat down
and make the sign of the Cross on the floors. There.

(02:42:05):
I make my way around to each of the other
sprays and make the same sign underneath them. Miranda tries
to stop me, but has to keep away since the
water's spraying on me is deadly to her. You think
you can just seal me in here like this, Noranda yells, exactly.
I tell her, every shower nozzle in here is deadly

(02:42:27):
holy water to you now. In fact, I even disinfected
my wounds with it. You hurt me, Miranda, but I'm
sure my pain's nowhere near to what you're feeling right now.
In fact, I don't even think you could turn into
mist to be able to escape my trap. Noranda falls
to her knees. She's not directly under the nozzles, but

(02:42:48):
the steam is too much for her. Her skin is
as red as a lobster's shell. She tries to change
into a wolf, then a bat. She howls with pain
before she returns to her human form and fall flat
on her face and chest on the floor. Now it's
time to prepare her for old time's sake. Chapter seven,

(02:43:12):
Miranda wakes up and finds herself secured to a table
in the infirmary. She tries to sit up, but finds
she can't move. Like your daughter before you, I've bound
you with a crucifix. I tell her you're mine now.
Miranda is still badly burned from being in holy water
showers with me. As for me, I'm dry now aside

(02:43:35):
from my hair. She looks up at me now, Like
Shiranda Thorn before her, she tries using her glam on me.
Then she sees my eyes glowing red, the way Shiranda
and so many of my other victims before her have seen.
What are you, Neranda demands, you cannot possibly be a

(02:43:56):
human woman. I can feel you're evil, emitting from your
very eye. I wonder if I'll ever understand why my
victims think I'm so evil. And then I put my
hands on the pit of my stomach and feel my
familiar passenger. I moan softly, knowing my bloodlust has returned.

(02:44:17):
Coupled with my new emotions, it feels just amazing. I
want more than anything to put Nearanda to death and
claim her. Now, Nearanda sees the plaques displaying the pictures
of the dead guards I found. You and your minions
have killed these people. Many of them had families who
loved them a great deal. I understand your vile nature

(02:44:40):
as a vampire, but in my eyes, you're all vicious murderers.
You even tried to take my love from me, regardless
of whether you ever planned on keeping your word and
letting him go. I will not be letting you go.
Like your daughter before you. You're going to die by
my hands. Shortly, Miranda opens her mouth to show her fangs.

(02:45:04):
My family will never stop coming for you, Reagan Devereux.
If you kill me here today, you will have enemies
at every turn. The house of Thorn is a great one.
Allow me to live, and I shall bring you into
my house. You would be greatly worshiped for your abilities
as a prolific killer alone. I consider her a moment.

(02:45:24):
Then I tell her, perhaps if you would have approached
me years ago when I was a child and raised
me yourself, I might have been as your offering. But
I was raised by a good and wonderful person who
taught me to be a good girl and instilled her
values in me. She even taught me her ways of
dealing with your kind. I can never take innocence. I

(02:45:47):
just can't do it. No, you will die here today.
If your family comes for me, then they come for me.
None of us will live forever, nor are we promised tomorrow.
You are a fool to refuse my offer, Reagan. Noranda
yells a fool, But today you're the fool, I remind her,

(02:46:12):
Or have you suddenly forgotten what I'm about to do
to you. I reach over to my instruments and pick
up one of the sharp wooden steaks I made, and
now Neiranda Thorn let the punishment fit the crime. When
I raise the steak, she yells for me to stop.

(02:46:32):
I do for a moment. Then she asks me how
I was able to make those showers spray holy water.
She tells me I must at least tell her that,
but I don't, and bring the steak right down, hard
and fast. Nearanda screams when the steak pierces her heart

(02:46:53):
from the front to the back. I wait until she
finally dies. However, her body doesn't immediately start burning into ash,
which means Neranda Thorn had lived long enough to become
a master vampire. I pick up the blade I made

(02:47:14):
in the maintenance shop a block away and use it
to decapitate her. I grab her hair and lift her
head up high. Feeling both my emotions and my bloodlust together.
I've never been more excited. I've just killed my first
ever master vampire. Mama will be so proud of me.
I think I'm even crying with joy now. So how

(02:47:38):
did I make the shower spray holy water? Well? When
I turned eighteen, Mama had me do something really strange.
She made me sign up online to become an ordained minister.
Mama and I don't believe in the existence of God
or Satan, but she explained that using artifacts of the
holy and being a minister doesn't mean faith in God.

(02:47:59):
It means believing that these weapons can protect you against
the beings who are vulnerable to them. Now do you understand.
I simply blessed myself and the spots on the floor
in the shower to turn the water holy. Like I said,
Mama taught baby well, but today I learned a valuable
lesson that the master vampire had just killed taught me

(02:48:22):
before I ended her. I know what I need to do.
Now it's time for me to go find Drake and
show Nearanda's minions that she's lost our contest. After placing
Nearanda's body in the incinerator, I gathered the stakes I made,
armed myself with a few crosses, and pocketed several bottles

(02:48:43):
of holy water. I'll go down fighting if that's what
those vampires want. I secure Miranda's head and carry it
in my hand. I'm coming for you, Drake. Chapter eight.

(02:49:04):
You're never going to believe this. I returned to the
chapel ready for the fight of my life. I was
truly ready to die to save Drake. I came into
the chapel and held up Neranda's head for her minions
to see. Your master is mine, I yelled, honor the
bargain and let Drake go, or come out here and

(02:49:24):
fight me yourselves to keep him. My bloodlust is really
hungry for more vampires, but it would not get any
more today. The bodies of Miranda's minions, or rather their
ashen remains, are everywhere. I do find Drake behind the altar, unconscious.
I check him over and see he's not bitten, even

(02:49:46):
using a mirror to see his reflection. Knowing he wasn't sired,
I shake him awake as he struggles to come too.
I know that he was glamed. I look around to
see if there are any other vampires waiting to attack,
but they don't. Rage Drake utters, Are you all right?

(02:50:06):
I ask, helping him to his feet. Drake gasps when
he sees Miranda's head on the altar. Then he sees
the look on my face and knows what I'm about
to say isn't going to be good. Rage, he utters again.
I look him in the eyes. I'm not going to

(02:50:28):
marry you. Drake. In fact, it's over between you and me.
I really do mean it this time. I remove the
engagement ring and place it in his hand. But rage,
he stammers. He doesn't see me cry like I've done
many times before when I couldn't allow myself to be

(02:50:50):
separated from him. Go and live your life, Drake, Kasmarak.
I tell him, I'm going to be in this prison
for the rest of my natural life, and that's not
fair to you. While you were able to come and
visit me here and even spend nights with me, you
can't ultimately live here with me. Ultimately you won't want

(02:51:12):
to live with me. I've taken far too many lives.
I don't even know if I'm human or not. I
just killed this master vampire, and I loved it. I
step away from Drake. I mean it. Leave here now
and go live your life, find yourself another mate to

(02:51:34):
be happy with. All I'll ever bring you is misery.
You may not think so now, but over time you're
going to wish you'd never met me, or did you
forget why you came looking for me in the first place.
I tighten my fists and scream I killed any judge now,
Drake is finally looking at me the way I knew

(02:51:56):
he would. I can see some contempt on his face.
I killed Annie Judge. I repeat, I will never regret
killing her, Drake, you and I both know why she
deserved to die. In fact, I will never regret killing
any of my victims. I grab and raise Miranda's head again,

(02:52:17):
including this master vampire. I glare at him now. He
gasps when he sees how red my eyes have become.
Don't you understand I'll never be your perfect mate, I'll
never be a normal woman, and you deserve so much,
so much better than me. I put the head back

(02:52:38):
on the altar. I release you, Drake, go and live
the rest of your life. Hopefully you'll be able to
find someone who can truly make you happy. You're a
good man, but I am not a good woman. I
told you a long time ago that I'm damaged and

(02:52:58):
can never be made whole again. Leave me now and
never return here to see me ever again. In fact,
I will leave instructions that you are banned from seeing
me unless it's for a case you absolutely need my
help on. Drake doesn't say anything to me. I know

(02:53:19):
I've heard him again. I know I heard him deep
when I killed Anny Judge, but this will likely hurt
him just as deep. In time, he will heal. I
follow behind him where I can see him and he
can't see me. I watch from an open door as
he gets into his car and leaves. Wow. I left

(02:53:45):
him so distraught that he completely forgot. I can easily
walk out of Glen View altogether. I could literally be
a free woman this very night, or rather Christmas Day.
As the nearby clock strikes midnight. I know I have

(02:54:05):
the skills to be able to stay on the run
and avoid law enforcement. I could even leave the country
and live somewhere free of this place's rules. The ironic
truth here is, however, that I really don't want to go.
I know I've done wrong. In spite of the fact

(02:54:26):
I've saved so many lives and claim so many corrupt souls.
The truth is I still continue to feel very much
at peace here. It's then, when it begins to snow,
I stand in the doorway and watch it come down.
The Christmas lights that line the fence aren't the prettiest

(02:54:47):
to look at, but I'll take it. Suddenly I feel
somebody near me. I turn and see CHESSI carver Reagan.
She utters. She and I look at each other. I'm
so overjoyed that she's okay. Looks like she probably got
knocked out. Chessie sees I can easily escape glen View.

(02:55:12):
She doesn't even have her gun on her. She has
her belt, but no gun. Chessie gives me a beckoning look,
Please do the right thing, Reagan, don't escape. I give
her a warm smile and approach her. I think she's
wondering if I'm going to kill her, but I wrap

(02:55:35):
my arms around her. Then I feel her hug me back.
I just wanted to see the snow. I tell her
it's Christmas. Now, I'm so glad you're all right. We
hug for a moment, then we come apart. Chessie seems

(02:55:56):
more confident in me now, want to take me back
to my block. I ask, I promise I won't fight you.
Chessie nods. I hold out my hands for her to
cuff me, but she takes my hand. We walk back
to my block, where I let her open my special

(02:56:17):
cell and watch me go back inside. It's only minutes
after she locks me up that the state police finally
arrive Chessie tells them everything she knows. Seeing I'm in
my cell, they don't even question me. As for Drake,
no one ever knew he was there during Miranda's raid.

(02:56:43):
It's one week later New Year's Eve. Chessie actually agreed
to sit at her station and watch me. Tonight, she
could have gone to be with her family and friends
to watch the ball drop or whatever people do to
ring in the New Year. Mama was all ready to hear,
and we spent the day together. As for Christmas Eve,

(02:57:04):
she got the full story from me on what happened.
Like I said, she was very proud of me for
slaying my first master vampire. She was even more proud
of me for not escaping here when I had the chance.
She said I was truly a good girl and that
she raised me right in spite of the fact I

(02:57:25):
was a serial killer. She was still sad and wondering
where she went wrong with me on that I assured
her it was nothing she did. She also said she
was very sorry for what happened between Drake and I.
Speaking of Drake, he hasn't been back here since Christmas Eve.

(02:57:47):
Aside from Mama, the only visitor I got was Chief
Cobbs from the North Ridgeway PD. He had a case
he wanted my help on. Once I cracked it, he
thanked me personally. Now I'm here with Chessie. She's not Mama,
but she's a motherly woman to me just the same.

(02:58:08):
She later told me that I had saved her daughter's
life years ago when a rapist tried to take advantage
of her. She told me the name of the man. Yes,
I did kill him for that very reason. I didn't
admit to it, but Chessie said I didn't have to.
She even called me a good girl too. As Chessie

(02:58:31):
and I are playing another game of chess in my cell,
she gets a call at her station phone. I wait
while she goes and answers it. Then she looks my
way and tells me I have a visitor. She doesn't
know who it is and asks if I want to
see the young woman waiting for me. Who would come

(02:58:51):
to visit me on New Year's Eve? I wonder out loud,
Then I nod and tell Chessie it may be a
law enforcement official with another case for me to work on.
Chessie confirms the meeting as I come out of my
cell to walk with her. Chessie takes me to the
room where I get my cases. But it's not any

(02:59:12):
kind of law enforcement person that I've ever seen. It's
a girl who looks to be either seventeen or eighteen.
She's very skinny and has long blonde hair. Then I
see her red eyes and know immediately that she's a vampire.

(02:59:34):
I turn to Chessie and nod once, I'll be okay.
Chessie nods once herself and leaves, locking the door behind me.
Then I sit down across from this vampire. Reagan Devereux right.
She asks me, or do you prefer rage? Rage is fine?

(02:59:58):
I reply. The girl smiles. My name's Bella Tabon. I'd
like it very much if we could have ourselves a
friendly chat. A Zombies Christmas by Rob Fields prologue. Vicky

(03:00:27):
van Wert came from a long line of scientists. While
many of her bloodline had been taken for the better
in the medical field, Vicky was one of a select
few who was hand picked to be part of the
all female secret society known as the Blue Ribbons. In
civilian life, she would be a barista at Caffeine Junction

(03:00:51):
at Strickfield Town, Center Mall. Her status as a barista
was how she came to meet Shawnee Jerrel and Bev Rourke.
Many months ago, Vicki had made Shawnee's favorite beverage, only
to find that she no longer liked it. It wasn't
long after that that Shawnee and Bev both began eating people.

(03:01:15):
Vicki made her escape and went to inform her fellow
Blue Ribbons about them. They would monitor the zombies before
mobilizing to capture them. Shawnee and Bev created two more
zombies to join them, in Lizzie and Libby Marsh, twin sisters.
The four of them ate up hundreds of patrons in

(03:01:36):
both an entire banquet hall in Pendleton and an entire
movie theater in North Ridgeway. To say these zombies were
quite ravenous was an understatement. They were eventually apprehended by
the Blue Ribbons and brought to their secret underground layer
below Strickfield University. Vicki van Wirt would soon be testing

(03:01:58):
some potential new bio weapons for the Blue Ribbons to
use in their pursuit of world domination. Vicki wasted no
time in beginning her experiments with these new zombies. She
had opened up Libby Marsh and was amazed to see
how she functioned. Even though these zombies were definitely dead creatures,

(03:02:20):
some of their vital organs still functioned. Of course, Libby's
stomach still worked and was in perfect condition in spite
of all the humans she and her friends had eaten.
Vicki would determine the metabolism of these zombies was more
than keeping up with all the living humans they needed
to satiate their seemingly never ending hunger. Vicki also learned

(03:02:45):
that their hearts continued to pump blood throughout their bodies.
When Vicki was finished, she eventually sewed Libby back up
after monitoring her for weeks. She was surprised to see
the flesh would heal up the way any normal human would.
Now she could easily tell Libby from Lizzie with all
the scarring on the former's body. Vicki would conduct more

(03:03:10):
experiments like the mad scientists she was. Even though she
always seemed calm and collected, there was a part of
her that relished the pain and suffering she inflicted on
her subjects, even if they were her fellow Blue Ribbons.
In truth, Vicki became cold. Through her years of studying

(03:03:33):
science and its wonders. Since being given her for zombies,
Vicki never seemed to grow tired of running experiment after
experiment on them. Usually, she liked working alone whenever she
was conducting experiments. This was most evident during such an
experiment when one of her two lab assistants, Brooke, got

(03:03:56):
careless and let one of the zombies bite her. Vicki
had perfected a most effective vaccine to counter every kind
of zombie bite there was. However, she refused to administer
it to Brook. Cruelly and coldly, Vicki allowed Brook to
grow ill and eventually die. Brook's body was placed in

(03:04:20):
containment where Vicki would see how long it would take
for her to reanimate, which ranged from a matter of
minutes to as much as a full day. Vicki began
running tests on her newest zombie as the other lab assistant, Shelby,
watched with hatred. Vicki noticed this and banished her from

(03:04:42):
the lab, but Shelby was making plans on Christmas Eve,
Vicki chose to continue conducting experiments on Brook. It was
music to Vicki's ears as Brooks screamed and fought to
escape the prison that contained her. When Vicki moved to
gather the next instruments of her latest experiment, Shelby snuck

(03:05:06):
into the lab and deactivated the security lock on Brook's cell.
Then she quickly hid before Vicki returned. In the meantime,
Brooke was out of her cell and managed to sneak
up behind Vicki. She screamed and ran to grab an
emergency syringe of the zombie vaccine. All she had to

(03:05:26):
do was inject Brook to kill her permanently. Vicki found
the emergency syringes and grabbed one. Upon injecting Brook, she
was quite surprised that absolutely nothing happened. The zombie vaccine
was supposed to work instantaneously, but Brooke was still animated

(03:05:47):
and mobile. Had this zombie somehow built antibodies to the vaccine.
Vicki had certainly experimented on her enough with it. No,
Shelby had changed out every vavaccine syringe with luminescent water.
Now Vicki found herself backed into a corner with a

(03:06:07):
very enraged Brook, foaming at the mouth and raising her
hands into claws brains. She chanted, No, stay away, Vicky shrieked.
Brooke growled as she grabbed hold of Vicki. Fortunately she
didn't have to worry about scratches infecting her. It was

(03:06:29):
the zombie's bite that would prove lethal if Brook succeeded
in doing that very thing. The inhumane human and the
living dead former lab assistant continued their struggle. Clearly the
zombie wanted this struggle more. Also, the zombie was quite famished.

(03:06:51):
Vicky managed to get away and grab a metal bar,
which she used to smash Brook right on her noggin. Unfortunately,
Vicki had forgotten that these particular zombies wouldn't easily be
destroyed by a heavy blow to the skull. The vaccine
was currently the only known way these particular zombies would

(03:07:15):
cease their animation forever. Then, Vicki remembered where she kept
more of the zombie vaccine and ran to it. She
felt Brook closing in quickly, since she could push herself
harder and faster being undead, Vicki reached her intended drawer
and pulled a syringe out. No, no, bitch, Brooke teased,

(03:07:39):
grabbing her wrist. I want some Christmas dinner first, I'm
going to eat your heart as an ores deuv, but
you don't exactly have a heart, do you. Brooke took
Vicki to the floor again. I owe you for all
the hell you put me through. I won't stop eating
you until you're nothing but bones. Again. They struggled on

(03:08:05):
the floor as Shelby watched on. Then she decided to
get in on the action and quietly moved to where
Vicky had dropped the metal bar. She picked it up
and went to crack Vicky's head. As Shelby raised the
weapon to deal the killing blow to Vicki. Her enemy
saw her in time and rolled off brook As Shelby

(03:08:29):
went after Vicki, she hadn't counted on Brooks springing to
her feet and jumping on her back brainss Brooke chanted
before biting into the back of Shelby's head. She screamed
and blood started squirting when Brooke pulled back, tearing a
huge chunk of scalp away from her victim's head. Vicky

(03:08:52):
knew she would have to act quickly before she'd have
two of the living dead to deal with. She ran
around her lab table and soon dove for the life
saving syringe she grabbed hold of it and turned onto
her back just as Brooke was diving right on top
of her. As Brook's body slammed on top of her own,

(03:09:13):
Vicki injected her at the neck as blood dripped from
the zombie's mouth and onto her. Brooke only shook for
a few moments before she went limp onto Vicki and
remained still forever. Vicky quickly moved the again dead body
off her and headed to Shelby's fresh corpse. She lifted

(03:09:36):
its hands and dragged it to the cell that Brooke
once occupied. Once Shelby was safely inside, Vicky hurried out
and secured the cell. She cleaned up the lab and
disposed of Brook's body in the insiderator. When she returned
to the lab, she found that Shelby had reanimated and
was screaming to be let out. Vicky gave Shelby a

(03:09:59):
sinisters Now, you'll serve me better than you ever did
when you were alive. Then Vicki felt a slight tingling
on her wrist and looked to see the shapes of
what appeared to be teeth marks. She gasped when she
realized that even though the skin wasn't broken completely through,

(03:10:21):
the marks were red enough to where she had become infected. Unfortunately,
she didn't have any more zombie vaccine in her laboratory.
She had more, but it was currently incubating and wouldn't
be useful until that period was over. Vicky knew she

(03:10:41):
would eventually turn I've got to escape, she gasped to herself.
Then Shelby laughed in her cell. What's the matter, VICKI
you scared now that your name's on the waiting list.
Soon you'll let me out of here, then eat our
way through this entire compound. Vicky immediately left the lab,

(03:11:05):
but not before arming the safety protocols to destroy the
entire space. Shelby would become completely incinerated as a result.
Vicky escaped the compound, got in her car and drove
into Strickfield just as it began to snow. It was
then when she started to feel a little off perspective Railian, Seriously,

(03:11:38):
I can't believe this shit. Everybody else gets to spend
the holiday break with their families, not me. I get
to spend the entire holiday break here at Strickfield Academy
with these fucking nuns. Not only did Headmistress Hiltonson suggest
this punishment to my parents for what I had done?

(03:12:00):
My parents were okay with it. Seriously, don't these nuns
have anything else better to do with their lives? Anyway?
Here I am in the office on Christmas Day itself,
with Sister Abigail treating my punishment like it's a regular
day in religion class. Are you listening to me? Raylene Hollow?

(03:12:22):
Sister Abigail demands huh, I mutter rudely. The nun size hard.
You're just stretching out your punishment further, young lady. I
raise an eyebrow. I'm sorry. Did I give you even
the slightest impression that I give a fuck? Sister Abigail

(03:12:43):
size hard again. I can't believe how much worse you
became after your sister Bernadette died on Halloween over a
year ago. I point right at her. Yeah, think about
how you'd feel if you lost your sister and you
knew had Mistress Hiltonson killed her. I shoot right up

(03:13:03):
out of my seat. I don't give a shit what
kind of lies you want to keep telling me here?
I know, I know the head mistress herself killed Bernadette
and I think it was right then that something inside
me finally snapped. Where do you think you're going? Raylen?

(03:13:24):
Sister Abigail demands you are under campus arrest until after
the holiday break. Then I laughed scornfully, eh, and who
is gonna keep me here? You? Oh, the nun definitely
intends to keep me here. I quickly pull her to
me and plant one right on her. Now, Sister Abigail

(03:13:44):
is the one fighting to get loose. I finally let
her go and watch her stagger back. Come to think
of it, that's how I got in big, big trouble
to begin with. If those of you who know Bernadette's
story thought she was bad, you're just now meeting me.
I'm Bernadette's younger sister by about a year, and even

(03:14:06):
my parents will tell you that I'm so much worse
than her. Bernadette was a bad girl, but she never
ended up in the kind of trouble I'd get in.
Why did I get campus arrest? I may look cute
and geeky on the outside, but even had Mistress Hiltonsons
told me to my face that Satan's taken over my body.

(03:14:28):
In fact, she was the one who busted me. I
was tutoring Rodney Brams, the dumbass basketball player who just
happened to be the best our team had. Then he
got turned on and started touching me. When he touched
me down there, I was ready to grab a steel
chair and beat him to death with it. Then he

(03:14:50):
showed me some green Rodney told me I could have
it all if I let him have me. I won't
say how much money it was, but far bey it
from me to turn down that kind of cash. So
I lowered my walls and let Rodney reach up my
skirt and remove my panties. The truth was, I'd done

(03:15:10):
sexual favors for money before, but this was the most
money I'd ever gotten to date. Rodney was on his
knees in front of me, taking care of business when
head Mistress Hiltonson herself came in and saw us. Long
story short, Hiltonson expelled Rodney. I expected her to expel

(03:15:31):
me too. The reason she didn't was because my parents
are the most powerful lawyers in all of Feltner County,
maybe even further than that, since they represent many of
the Mirons here in Strickfield. Also, my parents made generous
contributions to the academy. No, I'd get to stay at

(03:15:51):
the school, but i'd be getting campus arrest for the
holiday break. Getting back to now, I ran from the
building and all the way to the main gate, which
was closed. Yeah, like that ever stopped me. You know
how many times I've skipped class and climbed over the
wall to both escape and come back in. Once I

(03:16:11):
drop to the other side, I get as far away
from that damn concentration camp as I possibly can. Oh,
but I know Sister Abigail's probably on the phone with
the head mistress. That means she herself will soon be
coming after me. I keep running and cut through multiple
yards until I make it into downtown village. I know

(03:16:33):
I can't stay here long. It's likely going to be
the first place Hiltonson will look. There are times when
I've evaded her, but eight times out of ten she
finds me. Then she stuffs me into her car and
brings me back to campus. And by stuffs I mean
in the trunk. I quickly stop into Roth's rings and

(03:16:53):
order a dead eye. I can't function or think properly
unless I have my caffeine jolt. I don't know why,
but I've never been able to think like I do
without caffeine. Can't be mountain dew or monsters. It's got
to be straight up coffee. Once I get my caffeine,
I work on drinking it. No, I won't go back home.

(03:17:15):
I know my parents will be waiting for me, as
I'm sure Sister Abigail called them too. I still got
all the money that Oath paid me for wanting to
fuck me that day. Hiltonson never even thought to frisk me.
Of course, none of us mentioned that Rodney was trying
to pay me for sex. I'm just finishing my coffee
and leaving Roth's rings when Hiltonson's car screeches to a

(03:17:39):
halt just outside. Then the headmistress herself gets out of
the car, not wearing a habit today. Raylene Hollow, you
get in this car immediately, she yells, I turn and run.
Hiltonson's right behind me. For a middle aged nun, she
sure can run, pretty guy, damn fast. Oh believe me.

(03:18:02):
I have every intention of getting my revenge on Hiltonson herself,
but not just yet. I can't fight her directly since
she's got a martial arts background. Last time I tried,
she took my skinny ass to the floor. Just like that.
I'll have to lose Hiltonson and fight her another day
when I can better use my mind. I turn down

(03:18:24):
an alley and knock over some trash cans. Hiltonson easily
flips right over them. She never makes things easy for me,
No wonder she's the headmistress at Strickfield Academy. Even though
I hate the bitch for what happened to Bernadette, at
the same time, I actually respect her for backing up
everything she says. Wow, I can feel that caffeine revitalizing

(03:18:47):
me now. I definitely have to get more coffee to
keep my juices flowing. I finally duck behind a trash
bin and wait. When Hiltonson gets close enough, I spring
right out and spear them bitch, the same way WWE
Superstar Roman Reigns does. It works every time. After knocking
the wind right out of Hiltonson, I quickly get back

(03:19:09):
up and run again. It'll take her a little bit
to catch her breath. How'll be long gone by then.
As I'm coming to the end of the alley, I
see this person leaning on one side against the wall.
Sounds like a female moaning and groaning. Next thing I know,
she drops to her knees and pukes. Christ I really

(03:19:32):
don't need this. I run and jump over her. When
I land to run away, she suddenly springs up and
grabs me. The woman growls intently as she's pulling me
back to her. I see a tattoo on her inner
right wrist that's shaped like a breast cancer awareness ribbon,
except it's all in blue. Get off me, I yell.

(03:19:56):
This crazy woman is bigger and stronger than me. Sucks
to me me when it comes to being small and scrawny. Ah,
but this bitch is about to learn that you never
ever fuck with ray Lean Hollow. I quickly move my
arms around the back of her head, locking my fingers.
Then I drop my ass and feel my nog and

(03:20:16):
bust her chin, making her let me go. I quickly
get back to my feet and run. The crazy bitch
is growling louder behind me. I can literally feel the
caffeine giving me that extra burst of speed. Knowing she's
catching up to me, I quickly duck into the alley
next to the Strickfield Centennial Theater as she's about to enter.

(03:20:39):
I come out fast and hit my second spear today.
Normally my spear takes the wind out of anybody. Hell,
I just stunned Head Mistress Hilton's in This crazy woman
is back on her feet in seconds. I'm almost to
my feet when she grabs me and bites me on
the side of my neck. No, I shriek and again

(03:21:01):
push her away. One thing people have found out about
me at Strickfield Academy, which also got me in trouble
many many times there is when you back me into
a corner, I totally lose my goddamn mind and attack
like a wild dog. If Bernadette was still alive, you
could have asked her she loved picking on me simply

(03:21:23):
because I was her little sister. I couldn't tell you
how many times I fought her when she pushed me
too far. I know I got the lion's share of
our fights. No, Bernadette and I didn't hate each other.
That was just how our sisterly rivalry worked between us.
Getting back to now, I scream bloody murder and attack

(03:21:44):
the bitch who bit me. I come right at her
and slam right into her, knocking the back of her
head into one of the brick buildings in the alley.
When the woman drops to her ass, I grab two
handfuls of hair and keep slamming the back of her
head into the wall again and again. Soon the brick's
getting splattered with her blood. I can't control myself. I

(03:22:06):
was pushed too far. I keep slamming her head into
the wall again and again. When I finally let her go,
she stops moving on her own and slumps onto her side.
I'm really shaking as I look down and see I've
busted her head open enough to where where I'm calm

(03:22:27):
enough to see bits of skull and brain matter on
the wall. I'm still shaking, but aware enough to know
I killed her, But I'm not done with her yet.
I'm still shaking. When I scream bloody murder and raise
my foot and with everything I've got, I stomp on
the side of her head and feel her skull collapse.

(03:22:50):
More brain matter oozes right out, looking like a tofu scramble.
I'm still shaking. Why do people feel that they have
to fuck with me? Why can't people understand I'm way
too unstable. For the record, this isn't the first time
I've killed people when they pushed me too far. I

(03:23:12):
only ever showed restraint against Bernadette because she was my
sister and I loved her. I turn and walk away
from the mess I made. I'm still shaking. When I
make it back to my house. I have to focus
to be able to unlock the door and get inside.
I make my way upstairs into my room. I lay

(03:23:35):
down on my bed and hold myself. Calm down, Raylen,
I tell myself, just calm down. It's all over. You're safe. Now,
you're safe, You're safe. I'm not sure how long I slept.

(03:23:55):
Sometimes sleep or hot and nasty sex are the only
ways I can bring myself out of my craziness. I
finally wake up and see it's dark. Wow, I really
slept all day. I'm surprised had Mistress Hiltonson wasn't sitting
in my recliner like she was at times when I

(03:24:16):
had skipped school. I turn and sit up. You know
what I feel like going out tonight? I'm nice and
calm again. I just want to go dancing, maybe get laid. Ah. Shit,
it's Christmas Day. There won't be any clubs open. Ci

(03:24:38):
I don't care. I just want to go do something.
I'm thinking my only options are the movies, Andy's China, Dragon,
Denoyer's Grill, Strickfield Video, or the convenience stores. I also
remember I can't go to Roth's Rings again today. They
were only open limited hours earlier. I change into some

(03:25:00):
yummy clothes and head downstairs. Then I see the answering
machine and play the two messages from Strickfield Academy. I
was right about sister Abigail reporting me. Wait a minute,
Mom and Dad aren't home. Did they just go on
vacation somewhere while I was stuck in that? Oh? Fuck them.

(03:25:24):
Then my tummy suddenly growls, and I know I've got
to eat something. I open the fridge and see it's
fully stocked. No junk food, though my parents are such
health nuts. Screw this. I'm going out and getting some
junk food tonight. Definitely more coffee too. It's not like
I need to be on any kind of a diet,

(03:25:45):
being a scrawny little thing like I am. I pull
my insulated jean jacket on and head out into the snow.
My tummy's growling again. I won't make it to Denoyer's Grill.
I'll have to stick to downtown Village. I finally make
it to Convenient Village mart and head inside. Then I

(03:26:06):
see the hot dogs rolling around on the machine. I
also see a single employee mopping the floor. When my
tummy roars now, I immediately turn to the mop boy,
grab him to me, and sink my teeth into the
side of his neck. He screams like a banshee as
blood gushes and squirts all over the candy racks. When

(03:26:30):
the mop boy falls on his back, I drop to
my knees and start eating. I came here to get
some junk food. I mean, I'm surrounded by junk food.
My tummy's getting happy fast with what I'm eating. I
gobble up all the flesh, muscles, and vital organs. Now
I've got his brains in my hands. As soon as

(03:26:54):
I bite into the gray matter, I feel an immense sensation.
Everything I ate was just delicious. But the brains, Holy shit,
are these the absolute bomb. The brains are definitely the
best part. It doesn't take me long to gobble them

(03:27:16):
all up. All that's left is the skeleton, with the
skull busted open. There's blood everywhere. I'm soaked in it myself.
I get to my feet and look around the convenience store.
I definitely want more meat. Then I see the coffee
pot and go drink it. The caffeine starts amping my

(03:27:40):
brain up fast. I look around and don't find any
other employees. I guess anybody who wants a five finger
discount here can have a free for all. Knowing what
I want now, I head back out into the snow.
It's not long before I see a cup walking together

(03:28:01):
and run after them. I'm covered with blood and snow.
Now I've been out here for quite a while. I've
eaten six people and still want more. It was that
crazy bitch I killed earlier. I was just fine, all
things considering, until she bit me. In fact, I put

(03:28:23):
my hand to the side of my neck and feel
where her teeth broke my skin. It wasn't a clean bite,
but she broke my skin. She must have been infected
with something and passed it to me with that bite.
It's not long before a police car passes me. Suddenly,
it breaks fast and backs up. When the car reaches

(03:28:44):
me again, the two officers get out and point their
guns at me. The one closest to me points, you're
the one who left that mess. We're cleaning up at
convenient village. Mart get on the ground now. The other
one yells, coming from the front of the car. When
I run at them, they both shoot me. Next thing
I know, I'm flat on my back. Guess when people

(03:29:06):
at school say I'll blow away in a strong wind,
they probably weren't wrong. I open my eyes and see
the cops above me. Suddenly I grab one by the
hair and bite into his head. He screams only for
a moment before he drops on top of me. I
come out from underneath him and start working on his
head some more. That's when his partner kicks me right

(03:29:29):
off him. I get on my feet fast and look
at him crazily. More brains. The other cop quickly runs
and gets back in the patrol car. His tires squeal
as he speeds away. I lower myself and eat some more.
I'm such a glutton and decide I want the brains first.

(03:29:53):
I'm finishing the brains when another car pulls up. Wow,
head Mistress Hiltonson finally found took her long enough, though,
I'm surprised she didn't come to my house when I
was sleeping. Oh the look on her face. What have
you done? You sinful Jezebel, I hold out the last

(03:30:13):
of the officer's brains, finishing another helping of Christmas dinner.
You can have the last piece of these yummy brains.
When she looks ready to piss herself, I shrug. Hey,
don't say I never offered you anything, Hiltonson. Then I

(03:30:34):
eat the last bite. She approaches me very slowly. Let
me help you, child, Let me bring you back to God.
Only he can save you. I lick my lips. Gee,
you really think so. I pat my still tight tummy.
You know I've eaten six people tonight and this guy's brain.

(03:31:00):
You'd think my tummy would have burst a long time ago.
And you want to know what's really fucked up? Now,
I'm looking the headmistress over. I'm still hungry. Then I
remove my jean jacket and raise my finger. You know what,
Now I can get revenge on you for killing Bernadette.

(03:31:22):
I tighten my tiny fists. You had no right to
kill her, you cunt. I had to. Hiltonson tells me
your sister became just like you. Something happened to her
to where she got injured in the backwoods of Strickfield
on Halloween night last year. She died from her injuries

(03:31:47):
and became one of the living dead. She created a
lot of chaos at Strickfield Academy when she started eating
people herself and making more like her. She came for
me and I put her and her army down. Satan
took hold of her. Now it seems the Prince of

(03:32:09):
lies has taken hold of you, Raylen. I give her
a weird look before rolling my eyes. Satan never took
hold of me, you fucking cook. I was bitten by
somebody earlier and became infected by whatever it was she
was infected with. Those cops just shot me, and I'm

(03:32:31):
still here. Then I realize I likely died in my sleep.
When I woke up, I was one of the living dead.
Like I said, I'm still hungry. I rush right at Hiltonson,
ready to bite her, when she reminds me she's more
than capable of taking me in a fight. She's hitting

(03:32:53):
me with punches and kicks. Soon I'm on my ass,
but Hiltonson learns I just won't say day down. When
I'm back on my feet and coming at her again,
more cops arrive. The one who escaped me drives his
car right into me and sends me flying into somebody's yard,
where I knock over a brightly lit Santa Claus. I

(03:33:15):
sit back up and move to run at them. Hiltonson
quickly drops fast when the cops pull their guns out
and shoot me up with more bullets. Soon I'm flat
on my back again. The police all gasp when I
suddenly sit right up and get back on my feet.
I quickly change my strategy when I see them reloading,

(03:33:36):
not because I know they'll shoot me again. The police
have the numbers advantage on me, even though I'm one
of the living dead. It's obvious I'm no stronger than
I was before. I have to flee Hiltonson's pursuing me again.
Then I surprise her when I turn around and run
right at her. For the second time today. I take

(03:33:57):
Hiltonson down with another spear. The cops are ready to
shoot me again, but they see I'm right on top
of Hiltonson and don't want to risk shooting her. I
surprise them all again by springing right off Hiltonson and
jumping into a nearby squad car with the driver's side
door open. I hear all the shouts and four letter
words behind me as I drive off with it. I'm

(03:34:20):
driving around in my new toy and playing with everything
I can play with. I really get a kick out
of turning on the sirens and the flashers. I even
get on the radio and talk dirty to anyone listening.
It's only going to be a matter of time before
both the cops and the headmistress are after me again.
It's time to do something crazy. I turn onto University

(03:34:44):
Drive and stop. I remove my shoes and use one
to pin the gas pedal down to the floor. The
car practically flies away after shifting it into drive. Then
I jump out and land on the road. I get
up and go hide behind and some bushes. It's not
long before the other police cars are following my rigged car.

(03:35:06):
Hopefully the car stays straight at least long enough for
me to get away. I get up and decide not
to return to downtown village. I head in the direction
of Strickfield Town Center Mall. When I get under a
street light, I can see my bare knees are busted
open shit, probably from when I jumped out of the
police car. I didn't see or feel myself bleeding, but

(03:35:30):
I know I'm hurt. Fuck am I even going to
heal up. Since I'm dead, I've got to be more careful.
I get hurt too much, it might be the end
of me. I eventually make it to a truck stop
down the road from the mall. Ooh, they're open twenty
four hours too. That means I can clean up in

(03:35:51):
one of their showers. But since they are open, that
also means food. I run straight to Waltz's twenty four
hour truck stop and head inside. Damn, I never realized
how huge this place was from the outside. It's like
a little indoor mini mol In here. They have a
convenience store, a Popeye's Chicken, a burger king, a waffle house,

(03:36:15):
a little store where you can buy different electronics, and
a cellular phone place too, and not just restrooms, but
showers too. I see a sign that says a Starbucks
is coming soon, which reminds me I've got to get
more coffee. But I also want more food. And there's

(03:36:36):
a couple of nice porkers in here, including the one
behind the counter. When they turn and see me grabbing
the coffee pot and drinking from it, they ask if
I'm okay. After I finish chugging the coffee, I give
them a sweet little smile. I am now I giggle

(03:36:57):
a little. I'm thinking maybe I should have saved the
coffee to enjoy with my food. Even as an undead zombie,
the feeling of a nice hot shower raining down on
my naked body is still just the greatest feeling. After
I've rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and the

(03:37:17):
soap off my skin, I can still feel all the
bullet holes in my torso and the injuries on my knees.
I think I can even feel a few bullets still
inside me. It sure took long enough to wash off
all the blood I was covered in, especially from eating
those porkers. I moan and finish my shower. Then I

(03:37:38):
get out and look for fresh clothes in one of
the locker rooms. Damn it, am I going to have
to put my bloody, bullet holed clothes back on. I
can't find a damn thing my size. These truckers are
either hulking giants of men or big, motherly looking women.
You think that any scrawny, petite girls drive semis? Fuck No,

(03:38:01):
what bullshit? Then I finally do find some clothes in
the very last locker I put on another pair of
shorts to replace the ones I had. They're way shorter,
but at least they fit. Then I throw on the
T shirt. I'm about to look for shoes for my
tiny little feet when I feel someone's eyes right on

(03:38:21):
my back. I turn around and see, Oh, come on, really,
I groan. Head Mistress Hiltonson is back. This time. She's
wearing an all white outfit, pants, turtleneck, sweater, boots, and
an overcoat. And if that ain't enough, she's definitely packing
some hardware. She even has Is that a sword? No

(03:38:45):
two ways about it. Hiltonson came looking to put me
down the same way she put Bernadette down. Now I'm
starting to shake again. The head nun herself is backing
me into a corner. I tighten my tiny fists and
feel myself slipping into that crazy place again. Seriously, Hilton, Sin,
why can't you just leave me the fuck alone? She

(03:39:08):
draws her sword. You know I can't do that, not
when you've committed a very grave sin, Raylen, thou shalt
not kill you are a child of Satan. Now and
I swear before Almighty God, I shall bring you before
him right here and now. I scream when the craziness
takes me. Now, I don't even know if I'm at

(03:39:30):
the wheel or not. When I run right at hilton'son
she goes to swipe me with the sword, but I
spear her one more time. I take her through the
shower entrance and back out into the large restroom. Now
I grab her head and start slamming it repeatedly on
the floor. I'm gonna eat your brains, I sing crazily.

(03:39:51):
I'm gonna eat your brains. Even in my crazy state,
I have again underestimated her. She easily uses her martial
arts training to get me off her. I'm crazed, but
not stupid. I quickly get up and run away. It's
not long before the bitch is after me again. I
turn and run the wrong way. My eyes open wide

(03:40:14):
when I see all kinds of Christmas stuff in here?
How did I not see this store when I came
in here? I scream when I feel Hiltonson's sword coming
right out through my gut, but I'm not in any pain.
I think I was just surprised. I'm dead right, so
I don't feel pain. When Hiltonson pulls the sword back out,

(03:40:37):
I turn back to her and leap right on her rains.
Now I'm like a little spider monkey that won't let go.
I'm ready to bite into Hiltonson's head when I'm feeling
more gunshots in my side. The force of the bullets
is making you let her go and fall on my back.
I don't stay there, though. I get back up and

(03:40:57):
run around in this little Christmas store. I'm grabbing snow
globe displays and throwing them at Hiltonson. She's just knocking
them away with her sword. There's nowhere for you to escape, Rayleen,
Hiltonson tells me, just let me give you to God.
Perhaps he will have mercy upon your tainted soul. Now

(03:41:18):
I'm totally overtaken by the craziness. I just can't be
backed into a corner. I just can't. I scream again
and run right at her. I know I'm not at
the wheel now when I feel myself leaping at Hiltonson
and landing right into the blade of her sword again.
Her blade can't kill me, but it's making me bleed
more and more. These skimpy clothes I found are all

(03:41:41):
red with blood. Now I grab the blade of Hiltonson's
sword and pull myself further onto it. Anything to get
to her. I scream as I grab her hair and
move to bite her. I hate you, I roar. Now
I have Hiltonson backed into a corner. She's grabbing boxes

(03:42:01):
of Christmas figurines and smashing my head with them. I'm
far too crazy to give up. Now, I scream one
more time and bring my teeth nearly to her exposed wrist.
Never Hiltonson screams with strength I never knew the headmistress
of Strickfield Academy had. She lifts her sword with me

(03:42:22):
still on it, and runs full speed ahead. We stop
when the tip of the blade hits a wall. Now
I'm impaled and stuck tight. No matter how much I
try to move, I'm skewered like meat on a shish kebab.
I look at Hiltonson and growl again. Then I scream,
even though I don't breathe any more. I'm heaving and

(03:42:43):
struggling like crazy to get free. I'm really feeling scared now,
like I've never been scared in my whole life, and
start crying. Then Hiltonson draws one of her guns. I
really wanted to save Bernadette Raeleine. I really don't know
what happened to the two of you to fill you
both with so much hate. It's even stranger that the

(03:43:07):
two of you became completely different incarnations of the walking dead.
More than anything, I would wish nothing better than to
try and restore you and make you listen to reason.
But like Bernadette, you yourself are also beyond saving. Now
she raises her gun, may may May God have mercy,

(03:43:33):
And for the first time ever, I see the Headmistress cry.
Then she lowers her gun. Almighty God, forgive me. I
can't do it. She looks right at me as I'm
still crying. I'm going to try and save you, Raylen.
Her tears actually moved me. God in Heaven, she really

(03:43:58):
does care about me. It sure would be the first
time that anyone ever did. Just like that, my craziness
fades away. I don't want to be this head Mistress,
I say, actually feeling regret for what I've done tonight. No,

(03:44:21):
I can't be saved. I've killed and eaten so many
people without remorse, and I'm already getting hungry again. Please
You've got to stop me, kill me and let me
face judgment before God Christ. It fucking hurts so much
now I can't stop crying. I'm a zombie who doesn't

(03:44:44):
feel physical pain. But head Mistress Hiltonson just made me
realize I still have a soul. On Christmas Day, the
head Mistress actually made me feel that. Shoot me, head Mistress.
I beg her again. It's the only thing you can
do for me. I look her in the face. I'm

(03:45:07):
ready to answer for what I've done. I hold out
my hand. If you can't do it, give me the gun.
You'd think Hiltonson wouldn't have done it, but she actually
hands me the gun. No, I don't turn it on
her and shoot her. I put the gun under my
chin to blow my brains out. I try so hard

(03:45:30):
to squeeze the trigger. I can't. I wail. I'm so afraid,
head Mistress. She approaches me again. Then let me redeem you, child.
It doesn't have to end this way. Then we both
hear the sounds of police cars coming. I know Hiltonson

(03:45:52):
didn't call them, not when she came after me herself.
It finally dawns on me, what's going to happen If
I get taken by the police, I'll become a labrat.
I'll be dissected and studied, and no, I won't let
that happen to me. I won't ever feel trapped again.
Then Hiltonson puts her thumb on my forehead and makes

(03:46:15):
the sign of the Cross before Almighty God. I baptize
you in the name of the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit. Then she puts her hand on
the side of my face and gives me the last rites.
I put my hand on hers. Thank you, I whisper.

(03:46:38):
I know that you did redeem me. And on Christmas,
if I do see God, I'll tell him what you
did for me. We hear the police running towards us.
As soon as they find both of us, I make
the sign of the cross, put the gun under my
chin again and squeeze the trigger. Before everything fades, Head

(03:47:04):
Mistress Hiltonson says, may God have mercy upon your soul
this Christmas night, child, And then I only see the
bright white light. Welcome Home by Mike Eskewy. Some people

(03:47:35):
love coming home for Christmas. It's seeing loved ones, family
dinners and falling asleep by a roaring fire while it's
colder than hell outside. This will be different than the usual. Hi,
how are you son? This year will be explaining where
the hell I've been for five years and why everyone

(03:47:57):
thought I was dead during that time, plus explaining that
other thing. I'm a werewolf and married and I have
a kid, plus another one on the way. Yeah, Josh,
you sure know how to make Christmas memorable. I mean,

(03:48:17):
it's not shitting on the carpet on Christmas Morning levels
of memorable. Oddly enough, still a possibility, though, don't ask.
I've got a lot of explaining to do to my parents.
I hope they understand and maybe even accept that their
son is different than when he left. He's not the aimless,

(03:48:43):
horny kid who left one day and never came back
after a chance encounter with a girl. No, I'm older, wiser,
and hopefully on the way to being a good father.
My dad, Bobby Fox, wasn't a bad guy, but he
didn't care. As long as he could drink down at

(03:49:03):
Jason's Pub after his shift at west Hill Secondary School,
he didn't care. He just wasn't there for me at
all unless he needed a beer or someone to come
pick him up when he couldn't drive home. He didn't
hit me or anything, but he could be mean when
he wanted to be my wife. Tracy was the only

(03:49:25):
one who welcomed me into her pack five years ago.
It was a chance email that led to a knight
that could have ended with me as a bloody smear
on the side of the road, with me being just
another missing person reported and ignored by Ontario Provincial police. Instead,
she saw something in me. She saw the real me,

(03:49:50):
a vulnerable kid who wasn't that bad a guy, but
let his hormones get the better of him. Tracy was
a werewolf or a shifter. She was a gorgeous Ojibwe
girl who happened to have a supernaturally infused bloodline. She
was looking for someone to have a family with, and

(03:50:11):
she chose me because I was honest. In her world,
her pups take on traits from the mate and the mother.
She wanted me because she saw I was honest at
my core. In return, she offered me a new life
and a new world that I never dreamed of. I
woke up the following day as something new. I was reborn.

(03:50:35):
I was part of her pack and her kin. Indigenous
families are pretty close knit up in Cape Crocker, but
hers was particularly close. It wasn't as easy as walking
up and meeting her family and shaking hands with Dad
and her brothers. I had to earn my spot. It

(03:50:55):
was a challenge, and I know I'll be tested again
and rightfully, so let me tell you it was harder
than any hazing I ever had in the locker room
at hockey. Learning how to control my new lupine form
shifting into the warrior form are hybrid between man and
wolf at will. The hardest part was learning to control

(03:51:16):
the anger, the aggression, and the natural need to hunt.
It's an honor to have this remarkable gift blessed upon me,
just a stupid kid from Owen Sound. I got a
beautiful wife, a baby boy I'd do anything for, and
another one we're expecting in the spring. It was worth

(03:51:37):
leaving it all behind for something you only see in
bad Hallmark movies. Right Still, her dad, Howard, and I
would come to respect each other, and I'd come to
love him. He was the literal wise old Indian and
probably the sharpest guy I've ever met. Also, he could
tell the funniest jokes I've ever heard, too, and was

(03:51:58):
way raunchier than me at my worst. Tracy's family eventually
accepted me and it really felt like home. We would
hunt together as a pack, run across the Niagara escarpment
with our hearts almost tearing out of our chests. We
would build great bonfires, and we'd howl at the moon,
and they'd teach me songs in their languages. Fuck. I

(03:52:21):
wouldn't trade it for anything. However, I miss my own family,
and it's time to go home. I want to show
them that I grew up and am capable of being
a father. I need to show my own father what
a real father looks like, even if he's now a

(03:52:43):
seven foot tall wolfman and has claws that can cut
tempered steel. Did I mention because I'm a non blood
shifter that I'm a little short for my new life.
I don't look as majestic as others do in the tribe.
But that's okay. Can't win the lottery all the time, right.

(03:53:04):
You can't run from your past forever. Eventually you have
to go home. It's Christmas time, isn't that when miracles
and all that shit are supposed to happen. We're on
the road back to Owen Sound now, and I'm dreading
facing my mom and dad again. Just outside Hepworth and

(03:53:24):
probably about thirty minutes away from the most awkward conversation
of my life. They'll love Tracy, I know they will.
My mom will fawn over my son Noah until he
changes into another seven foot tall monster. Still, she'll get
over it, and she'll be Grandma Linda to Noah once

(03:53:45):
she stops shitting her pants. He's years away from his
first change, though, but he's already showing the traits of
his spiritual blood. He'll be stronger than Tracy and I combined,
and I'd be lying if that didn't put a huge
smile on my goofy face. However, he's just as much

(03:54:05):
theirs as he has mine and Tracy's. We're family. I
want our families to know each other. I want to
give my family the Christmas that my parents never gave me,
and my sister Jenna presents goofy pictures and awkward Christmas dinners,
the whole shebang. My son Noah is asleep in the

(03:54:25):
back seat and makes a little cooing noise. He looked
so cute in his snowsuit. One of the res aunties
made him his own little moccasins real deer leather too.
I reached my hand back and moved his hair out
of his face. I touched his little cheeks, and I
can't help but marvel at the thought I helped make

(03:54:48):
that I was a dad. Josh, you know we don't
have to do this. Tracy looked over at me from
the driver's seat. The drive in the winter is never
pleasant on Highway six, but she handles it like a pro.
It's snowing pretty heavily, and I'll wager the highway will
be closed by the time we get to Owen Sound.

(03:55:10):
It always gets closed around this time in December and
usually stays that way overnight. We do. They deserve to
know about me, about us, about Noah, and there soon
to be new grandkid. On one hand, maybe she was
right they didn't have to know, and maybe it was
better that I was just missing Wagosh. You know I

(03:55:34):
love you and only want what's best. She called me
that when she wanted to reassure me. Wagosh is the
Ojibwe word for fox, and her pet name for me.
Her name was Ogijita, and it meant warrior. Hers was
significantly cooler than mine. I'm not of blood, so I

(03:55:54):
don't get a spirit name like hers. But still she
calls me Wagosh or Foxy in human company. I did
feel that pang of guilt, and that image of my
mother crying in my bedroom and never knowing exactly what
happened to me. The thought of my sister Jenna never
knowing either. I didn't want them imagining me rotting in

(03:56:17):
a ditch somewhere or being dead at the bottom of
Georgian Bay. I wasn't that guy. I wanted to be
better than I was in my previous life. That meant
going home and facing the music. If we keep them
out of our lives, then they won't go looking for them.
They only care about us and hunting us. She glanced

(03:56:40):
over at me with those big brown eyes, and I
could see, for a half second concern hunters. People who
knew about us shifters and hunted us for a variety
of reasons. They came prepared, high powered weapons, silver and
other stuff I've only heard whispered about around campfires. They

(03:57:03):
rarely leave survivors. No one knows where they came from
or even how they knew how to find us. Divine wrath.
I don't think so. But if you ask me five
years ago, if I believed in werewolves, I'd have called
you fucking crazy and sent you up the looney bin.
A group of hunters got Tracy's brothers a few years back,

(03:57:26):
had them cornered out in the bush, and laid a
trap for them. We only found the lingering smell of gunpowder,
scraps of their pelts, and a silvered bowie knife stuck
in a tree. The hunters left a gruesome and cruel
message scrawled in blood and entrails across the ground, You're next, mongrel.

(03:57:49):
We buried what we could under a full moon and
swore revenge if we ever found them. We burned sweet
grass and sage and offered tobacco. As per Tracy's family traditions,
the res held a sacred fire vigil for days. As
we laid them to rest, I offered them my word

(03:58:09):
that I'd see vengeance visited in this world or the next.
That was the only night I ever saw Tracy cry.
Her father was stoic, and I didn't see him so
much as smile For months afterwards. We've been careful ever since,
watching our backs, patrolling our property on the reserve. We

(03:58:31):
know their scent from what was left behind. Smelt like
old spice, gun oil and stale astro glide. Our heightened
senses mean we could even sense their spirits to a
limited extent. They left behind a cockiness you could feel
seep into your pores. However, at the end of the day,
they were human. Humans bleed and humans die. They could

(03:58:57):
be killed, probably a bunch of dude bros. If we
ever find them, we'll tear them apart, limb from limb
and make sure for every second of pain they visited
on Terry and Shane, we give them something above and beyond.
It won't be quick, but I will enjoy it. What

(03:59:18):
was that old video game saying rip and tear? I
shook off the memory as we finally rounded the corner
into spring Mount and were just outside of the city
limits of Owen Sound. We'd be at my house in
a few minutes and then well, I don't know what
I see roads as we passed the car dealerships and

(03:59:40):
the truck's wheels slipped ever so slightly. This definitely meant
they were going to close the roads. By the time
we got back from my parents' house. Snow was picking
up too. As we passed the movie theater and the
old abandoned Blockbuster video. The roads will be impassable within
an hour. I picked a hell of a day to
dre didn't. I, Well, it's too late to back out now.

(04:00:04):
I'd been by my parents' place a few times as
a wolf late at night. Tracy would scold me when
I got back home because she said I wasn't careful
enough and didn't maximize our gifts to stay hidden. She
knew I was worried about my folks, but I was careful.
No one could track me. I was faster than anything

(04:00:25):
on four legs had any right to be. No one
saw me, I'm sure of it. We arrived at my
parents' house, right by west Hill Secondary School. They're decorated
for Christmas lights and light up snowmen that I'm pretty
sure were around since the seventies. We pulled into the
driveway next to my dad's SUV and mom's shitty Kia.

(04:00:48):
I didn't see Jenna's car. Maybe she didn't come home
this year. That's weird. I unbuckled Noah's car seat and
started to get him ready to meet his Grandpa, Bob
and Grandma my folks. I grabbed his bag of stuff
and our backpacks and slung them over my shoulder. Tracy
touched my arm and looked around into the early evening air.

(04:01:11):
She wasn't just looking, she was looking. She reached out
with her shifter senses and was actively looking for threats.
She had brought our family into a new location and
a place where she didn't know every entrance and exit.
First and foremost, she was a hunter, a soldier in
a supernatural war. But she was something else too, a

(04:01:34):
mom who would protect her family with tooth and claw.
Sh Listen. She whispered in a way that only we
could hear. I wasn't as in tune with things as
she was. I'm pretty sure she could hear a mouse
fart the next town over if she tried. Tracy's eyes

(04:01:54):
took on a more animalistic look as she was reaching
out with her senses. It was beautiful in its own
way and made me love the meld of the beast
and woman that she was. In our extended senses, we
could feel the hum of the earth itself, the slight
tremors that life itself put out. It was like feeling

(04:02:14):
the heartbeat of the planet. She hated when I called
it using the force, but what else could you call it?
My wife was basically a hot fuckable Luke Skywalker. What
I don't hear shit, trace couple of cars in the road,
dog barking, and probably some asshole watching young Sheldon or

(04:02:38):
something a few houses down. She wasn't convinced that all
was clear. She was on red alert for something. There's
no way the hunters would be so brazen as to
attack on Christmas Eve, right, Their dude, bro werewolf hunters,
not the Terminator, I mean worse to worse. We hulk

(04:03:01):
out and tear them limb from limb, and then have
family Christmas coated in the guts of our fallen foes.
Its Game of Thrones meets the Brady Bunch. It'll be perfect. Now.
I'll admit that my mind was elsewhere, trying to psych
up for walking up and knocking on my own front door.
I could feel my stomach tightened up, and I was

(04:03:23):
even a little sick. This was it, game time, Foxy.
I held Noah in my arms and walked up the
stairs of our front porch, and Tracy followed behind us,
still searching out into the night. Knock, knock, hold on.
I hear my mother yell from behind the closed door.

(04:03:43):
She was likely in the kitchen, despite her being a
terrible cook. There was a reason I worked at Little
Caesar's down the road for most of my time before college.
It was shitty pizza, but it was better than what
we had at home. Distinctive footsteps on the hard floor,
and they're getting closer. Breathe. Noah reached out his tiny

(04:04:06):
hand and poked me in the face, and I giggle.
Sh You're gonna be a good boy and meet your grandma.
The door opened up, and my mother, Linda Fox, just
stared at me like she's seen a ghost and doesn't
say a word for the space of a heartbeat. Her
eyes darted to Noah and then to Tracy standing behind me. Uh, Hi, Mom,

(04:04:29):
I'm home, I said, kind of sheepishly, and eke out
a smile. My son waved at my mom, and you
can see the torrent of emotions ready to be unleashed. Josh,
you're alive. She started immediately crying and threw her arms
around Noah and I. My werewolf senses could pick up

(04:04:51):
all of her emotions relief, happiness, anger, and so many more.
Her emotional floodgates threatened to overwhelm me and even Tray
She hugged Noah and I so tight that he began
to cry a little bit. Linda, who's at the door,
don't let the heat out? Oh yeah, Dad, this is

(04:05:13):
gonna go well, I can tell Hi. Can we take
this inside? I escaped Mom's wwe grip on me long
enough for all of us to get in the house
and close the door behind us. It's home still though.
The Christmas tree is up in the living room, hallway
is decorated with tinsel, and even my stupid wreath I

(04:05:35):
made in fifth grade it's still hung up on the
front door. Noah's eyes were wide with excitement because of
new people. How where Josh? We thought you were dead?
Mom stammered between hysterical crying MS. Fox, I'm his wife, Tracy.

(04:05:56):
Maybe maybe we should sit down. There's a lot to
talk about, and frankly, ms Fox, it's gonna sound pretty
fucked up. There's the woman I love, straight to the
point and authoritative. All of us made our way into
our tiny living room, and there was Dad, already half drunk,

(04:06:18):
sitting on the couch. This was expected, Play it cool.
Where the fuck have you been? Dad is concerned, and
I could tell he cared, but we're going with anger first.
It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see how it plays out. Hi,

(04:06:40):
do you too, Dad? Noah runs out into the living
room and immediately starts playing with the dog Pip. He'll
be occupied for a little while while we attempt to
talk to mom and Dad. I'll fix up that whole
piece in the Middle East thing too while I'm at it. Oh. Great,
not only back from the dead, but now you've got

(04:07:01):
a kid. Any more surprises, Josh? Should I have a
heart attack now or wait a little while. Look, I'm
glad to see you too. Yeah. I've got a lot
to explain and a lot to say sorry for. I'm
sorry that I had to go away for a few years.
I'm sorry that I didn't call. I couldn't And bullshit, Josh,

(04:07:23):
Your poor mother and sister thought you were fucking dead. Okay,
Dad was not fucking around. This was the mean drunk
I'd seen countless years ago. This was the man who
called me a loser when I said I was working
a hot dog kart for a summer during college. Tracy
sat on the floor with Noah and Pip and watched

(04:07:44):
me handle this. She trusted me to keep a cool
head and deal with Dad. My mom just sat on
the couch quietly and tried to process everything that was
happening right in front of her. I could feel it,
that anger rising inside me behind my eyes. This wasn't
the anger that someone cuts you off in traffic or

(04:08:05):
keyed your car. This was shift or blood pulsing through
my veins. Hot intensity flooded through me, and I could
feel something triggering. I can't stop it. Uh oh, beast mode.
It's morphin tine, motherfucker. My muscles popped and rippled and

(04:08:26):
tore through. I felt my height increase and my arms lengthened.
Then finally, my claws extended from my hands. My face contorted,
and my werewolf snout tore through my skull, red and
brown fur coated my body in an instant, and shredded
my clothes to rags except what little remained of my jeens. No,

(04:08:51):
my vocalization reverberated on a frequency that I'm sure God
himself could hear. Everyone would bear witness to the raw
power of my werewolf form laid bare today. Dad would
hear me, and God is my witness. He would listen.
Mom and Dad froze up and suddenly stopped crying and

(04:09:14):
yelling and cowered on the worn couch. I needed to
grow up, and I couldn't do it around you. My
head hit the ceiling of the living room as I
stood at my shifter height. I looked down at my
parents and saw their fear, but something else as well.

(04:09:36):
I don't know what to call it. Mom, Dad. I
came home because I need you to know me again.
I need you to meet my wife, meet my son.
And it's Christmas, guys. The anger started to subside for
a moment. I was starting to regain my composure. I

(04:09:58):
could put together a thought and think straight. I felt
Noah's hand on my foot, which had transformed into a
wicked paw appendage. Maybe I could shift back down into
human form and start to have a conversation with everyone. Daddy,
are you okay? Gunfire? The living room windows glass exploded

(04:10:22):
in a hail of bullets, and the screaming started. The
hunters had found us, and they intended to finish us off.
How did they find us doesn't matter, It's go time.
Tracy grabbed Noah unrolled with him on the floor behind
the couch. She went back and pulled my mom and
Dad to the floor. Rapid automatic gunfire cut through the

(04:10:43):
air and you could actually see tracer rounds from their weapons.
These guys were not fucking around. They brought all the
toys they could to take us down. I don't know you,
but I know your son and I love him. Protect
my son and I'll protect yours, Ray said in a
quick voice. I hit the deck and kept my head

(04:11:04):
down and exchanged looks with Tracy. She was readying herself
for action, preparing to change into her warrior form like me.
I looked at Noah. He was scared and started to cry.
Mom and Dad had enough of their senses to guard
this young child now thrust into their care. Mom held
Noah closer to her chest and Dad kept his body

(04:11:26):
close to both of them. My parents looked at their
son the werewolf in the living room and didn't say
a word, but all was communicated with a glance, save us,
save your son. There was a brief interruption during the attack.
They're probably reloading. Tracy stood up. She didn't waste any time.

(04:11:48):
Full beast mode super cyan fuck around and find out time.
John Wick with teeth, claws and tits, Tracy's shifter warrior
form emerged from her small friend and rose to over
nine feet tall. Her rough brown dark fur coated her
body and was now streaked with bright red highlights. She

(04:12:09):
was dawning, her own version of spiritual warpaint. She and
I both crouched below the destroyed window frame. We readied
our powerful legs to burst out as soon as we
had a solid location on where the attack came from.
Come outside and die like the freaks you are, A
young man's voice called out from the darkness outside. We

(04:12:32):
both heard the sounds of fresh magazines being inserted into
several sets of weapons. The guns sounded heavy, like military
rifles of some sort, probably some kind of machine gun. Great,
we get the werewolf hunters who played too much fucking
call of duty. We could hear a distinct set of
about four of them moving around in the snow outside

(04:12:55):
their boots, crunching on the thin layer of ice and
trying their damnedest to stay quiet. Four of them and
two of us. This should be easy. However, thinking like
that will get us both shot full of holes and
likely silver bladed in the heart. We can regenerate from
most wounds, but it's game over if it's silver. Tracy

(04:13:18):
flies forward and easily clears the broken window frame and
lands in the front yard, matching her fluid movement, and
before I can even recognize what I'm doing, I'm beside
her with my teeth bared. We're titans of muscle, teeth,
and fur, and we're more physically imposing than the largest
lions in Africa. Three masked individuals emerge from the shadows

(04:13:41):
in the front of the house, ski masks, heavy black
military style body armor, and very impressive looking guns. The
hunters exchange hand signs and begin to open fire on
Tracy and I. Where was the fourth one? I can't
smell them or see them. I heard four guns reload

(04:14:02):
faster than the speed of thought. Tracy and I started
moving our lupine forms and closed in on two out
of the three of them. She was on top of
one of them before they could even raise their hands
in self defense or even surprise. Toppled effortlessly to the
frozen ground, the snapping of jaws in the rendering of flesh,

(04:14:22):
and a crimson fountain of blood sprayed into the night
as Tracy's weight absolutely crushed the hunter under her gargantuan frame.
The man's weapon emptied its ammunition into the air and
away from us. My wife tore the throat out of
one of the men, and strings of gore dripped from
her bloody maw as she brutally and viciously ended his life.

(04:14:46):
I pounced on the other hunter that was closer to
the house. I used my forward momentum and ricocheted off
my mom's kia and slammed my entire weight into one
of them. It was immensely satisfying as I could feel
bones break and things ruptured. I unsheathed vicious sharp claws
and plunged them in. I pierced bone and sliced through

(04:15:09):
the man's armor like it was a wet paper towel.
Normally I don't let loose when I wolf out, but
today was different. You came for me, you came for
my wife, you came for my family today. Fucked doesn't
even begin to describe you. Rip and tear until it's done.

(04:15:31):
I closed my jaws around this fucker's face. I felt bone, sinew,
and stuff I don't want to think about flood into
my mouth. I crushed their skull under the force of
my jaws, and the body went slack. My claws are
still stuck in their collar bone. As I ripped and
tore the head away from the body, hot blood coated

(04:15:54):
my face and fur. I was covered in a gruesome
form of war paint. To finish this bastard off once
and for all, the body pulled apart like a sadistic
rag doll, and guts spilled out onto the ground. Steam
rose from the gore like a soul escaping its fate

(04:16:15):
and straight into the jaws of hell. Two down, two
to go. I think these guys are gonna regret coming
to my house. Rip and tear. That's when I feel it.
Hot and burning impact slammed into my side and threw
me away with such force that it knocked the wind

(04:16:38):
right out of me. I'm laid out on the ground,
gasping each in every breath, trying to get oxygen. Silver
fuck Josh. Tracy's scream cut the night with a war cry.
I felt her face nuzzle against me, and it was

(04:16:59):
warm and play. She braced her body in an attack
position and guarded me as best she could. I could
feel she was conflicted. She wanted to protect me, but
also needed to protect Noah. I needed her to protect
my mom and Dad. There's no way these monsters will
let any of us walk away from this. I slumped

(04:17:20):
against Mom's car and knew I was in trouble. This
was bad. The bullets were made of silver, the lunar
metal itself. I could feel searing fire in my side,
and it was only getting worse. I wasn't healing, I
wasn't regenerating. I was dying. Stay right where you are,

(04:17:41):
where bitch, I might let him limp away that voice. No,
it can't be Jenna, my sister. Okay, great, I'm dying
beside my wife. My family is in danger, and on
top of that, I'm in a fucking cliche from shitty
James Bond movie. I felt my body start to shift

(04:18:04):
back into my human form. I finally saw the extent
of my wounds as I transformed back. Caught a few
rounds in the right side of my ribs. Maybe if
I could get to a doctor, I'd be okay, But
I'm not exactly going to be calling nine one one
anytime soon. Jenna came forward from behind a car on

(04:18:25):
the street and leveled a weapon at Tracy and I.
Her normally cheerful demeanor was cold as arctic Ice, her
eyes locked with Tracy, all while completely avoiding my gaze entirely.
You're the bitch who took my brother away from us.
You have the nerve to come into my house. You
have the fucking stones to bring him back as a

(04:18:47):
monster like you. Jenna aimed her rifle at Tracy's head,
but she didn't so much as flinch. The two women
locked eyes werewolf hunter, enemy family. A laser sight appeared
from somewhere in the darkness across the street. A red

(04:19:09):
dot landed on Tracy's forehead. A sniper. Turn back into
a human and face me. Move as much of an
inch in an aggressive manner, and I'll make sure Melissa
across the street torchurees your father's house with napalm, with
him tied up in silver chains. My wife moved her

(04:19:29):
head into mine, and I could feel defeat in it.
She wasn't going to risk my life. She wasn't going
to risk Noah's. She knew she had lost Tracy's warrior form, retreated,
and she transformed back into the five foot eight, dark
skinned woman who was the mother to my son and
so much more. She shrank down and clung to me,

(04:19:52):
naked as I was and just glared defiantly as the
hunters moved in closer. The red dot grew as the
sniper made her position known and started walking forward towards us.
Why couldn't we smell them? How did they get the
jump on us? Wait, they outsmarted us, masked their scent

(04:20:16):
from the dude bros. We tore apart. They had us. Why?
Tracy spoke up as she cradled my head. I was
starting to lose a lot of blood and the silver
was poisoning me. If I didn't dig these bullets out
of me soon, I'd be dead. For five years, we
thought Josh was dead. For years, I mourned my brother.

(04:20:41):
We searched everywhere, followed every lead, and we spent thousands
on detectives. For Sorry, your brother is missing. Jenna spat
on Tracy. I could feel her anger bubbling under the surface,
but she didn't dare move with guns trained on her
and me. I fuck knew he wasn't dead. I knew
he was alive. What I didn't know is that he

(04:21:04):
became a monster, a monster screwing another monster. You took
him from me, you took him from our mom and dad.
Jenna's voice never gave so much as an inch. She'd
rehearsed this speech in her head for likely years. At
this point, my sister put the barrel of her weapon
against Tracy's forehead, looked down and prepared to pull the trigger.

(04:21:29):
Tracy stared up defiantly, right into Jenna's heart and soul
and never showed any fear. Tracy lived up to her
spirit name of oge Chitah jen Stop, I croaked out, feebly,
don't you fucking start, Josh. You could have picked up
a phone. You could have written an email, for Christ's sake,

(04:21:52):
a text message. My sister's hand trembled a little bit
as she held the gun at Tracy. If I was
going to run out the clock, then I better get
straight with everyone and do it quickly. I'm sorry, Jen,
You're right. I should have called I. I should have
done a lot of things. These guys offered me a

(04:22:14):
way to find you, And what do I find you?
Living forty five minutes away from home and just having
a family like we never mattered, Like I didn't matter
to you anymore. Hugh didn't want to grow up. You
wanted a fucking do over. You wanted to wipe the
slate clean and get to start all over again, no

(04:22:36):
strings attached. Tears started streaming down Jenna's face. You're not wrong, Jen,
I wanted something different. This woman, my wife, offered it
to me. I never considered what it might do to
those I left behind. These hunters tracked her, and finding

(04:22:59):
you was an accident. Melissa here tortured her brothers. That's
when I got a phone call telling me that you
were alive, and one of them she told me that
you She struggled to find her next words, what did
these hunters tell my sister? What lies did they get
into her head? Tracy's anger was building under the surface.

(04:23:23):
I could practically feel her wild spirit raging to come
out again, but she held firm. The woman known as
Melissa stepped into the glow of the ruined porch light.
She was in her late forties and was dressed in
the same paramilitary bullshit body armor, but wore a cowboy
hat instead of a ski mask. She grinned at me

(04:23:45):
and my naked wife against the side of the car.
She clearly had no fear of two wounded werewolves before her.
I noticed she had a silvered bowie knife attached to
her waist. Thanks, Josh, I owe you. If it wasn't
for heartbreak, then I wouldn't have had an awesome payday.
Lost and missing persons can often be tied to freaks

(04:24:07):
like you and this one here, Melissa wasn't just a hunter.
She was a bounty hunter. That almost made it worse.
She hunted people like us for money. My sister's grief
was just a means to an end. This queef lied
to my sister and took her money to top it

(04:24:27):
all off. Plus she shot me, So there's that. Look,
if you're not too busy, I'm gonna shoot your wife.
I'm probably gonna take your kid as a pet while
i'm at it. Melissa smirked at me as she said that,
and I could feel my own blood boil at those words.

(04:24:48):
Can I say something before you kill us both? Sure? Kid,
you're gonna bleed out in a few minutes anyway, No
last minute heroics. No one is coming to save the day.
You die here and now in your little nothing town.
So yeah, take all the fucking time in the world.
The bounty hunter lowered her gun and took out a cigarette.

(04:25:12):
She lit it, but never took her eyes off of
Tracy and I Jenna. I came back tonight because I
wanted to say I'm sorry to you and everyone else.
I wanted to become a family again. I wanted to
show all of you that I took the easy way out,
but not anymore. I'm a father now, and I'm going

(04:25:33):
to be a father again in a few months. Time
was almost up. I wanted a family Christmas again. I
know expecting forgiveness was asking an awful lot, but hey,
if not now, then when right? Jenna looked over at
Melissa and appeared shocked and kind of disgusted with her. Wait,

(04:25:56):
you told me he was some killing machine who eight
f fucking babies. You didn't say anything about him actually
being a father. Jenna's demeanor immediately changed, and her body
language did too. I could smell it on her. She
was mad, and not at me. You were all too

(04:26:16):
excited to believe me too. So what if I lied?
You got your revenge, didn't you? His werewolf bitch is
ready to be blown away by you, I might add.
Your brother is on the edge of death by you,
No less as far as you're concerned. Your brother died
years ago, and this thing is just wearing his face right.

(04:26:37):
Isn't that what you told me? That's not your brother anymore.
Your brother wouldn't say I'm sorry, Dad, Noah. My mom
and dad stood up in the destroyed living room and
saw the scene unfolding in their front yard. Mom held
Noah in her arms and he clung to her. Clearly
he was terrified. Wasn't drunk anymore. He saw his daughter

(04:27:02):
pointing a gun at his son's wife while his son
was bleeding out. Not exactly Christmas card material. My son
was going to watch his parents die. Noah, promise me
you'll be good for Grandpa and grandma. Okay, I say
as loudly as I can muster. As I start to

(04:27:24):
cough up blood, he started crying, Buzz, time's up. Don't
worry about saying goodbye. You'll be joining your wife soon enough,
Josh Fox. Melissa readied her weapon and pointed at Tracy's head,
and her fingers slowly began pulling the trigger. I'll see

(04:27:45):
you on the other side, my packmate, my warrior wolf.
I'm sorry, Jenna, Mom, Dad, I love you. Noah. To
whatever higher power is out there listening, look after my son.
A single gunshot rang out and echoed across the entirety

(04:28:09):
of the evening's long shadows. It echoed off the old
houses of my neighborhood and hung in the air. I
closed my eyes. I didn't want to see Tracy's life
end before mine. I didn't want my last memory to
be her laying dead in front of me. Seconds passed,

(04:28:33):
wa gooche. I hear Tracy's voice when I shouldn't have
the fuck that's my brother. Jenna's voice broke through cries
and sobs. Jenna had shot Melissa right in the stomach.
Tracy wasted no time and shifted into her wolf form,

(04:28:54):
not her hybrid form. She was absolutely gigantic in stature
and size, onto the bounty hunter's body and shook it
like a rag doll. Melissa screamed and flailed about, but
it was no use. Tracy was going to have her
revenge for the death of her brother's savage, primal and

(04:29:14):
unrelenting in her fury. Death had come for the bounty hunter.
This she wolf was going to eat this other woman alive.
Blood coated the ground and froze to it in a
sickly red slush. Good. I can feel something sharp dig
into my side, and I look up and expect to

(04:29:36):
see another hunter. It's Jenna, and she's hunched over my wounds.
She's digging her fingers into the wound itself. What is
going on here? They said, you can heal if you're
not in contact with silver right. The voice was Jenna's,
but this voice was her doctor side coming out. This

(04:29:59):
was doctor Jenn Fox trying to save her brother. I
whimpered and nodded my head in relief and immense pain.
Seconds later, I feel something sharp pulling at my insides.
A cool rush of air comes over my body and
I can start to breathe again. I passed out from

(04:30:21):
the pain. I'm alive, I think. One week later. I'm
asleep in my bed and I'm fairly bruised up from
what happened in Owen Sound on Christmas Eve. I've been

(04:30:41):
asleep on and off since then and have very little
memory of how I even got here. It's a blur. Mostly.
I saw Tracy and Jenna loading me into the back
of a car. Mom and Dad hugged Tracy. Jenna was crying,
and so was Noah. Noah was okay. I could smell

(04:31:02):
sweet grass sage being burned constantly Tracy's indigenous sacred medicines.
I must be home in Cape Crocker, Struggling to open
my eyes for the first time in days, I'm greeted
by a familiar face. Jenna, Hey, you're awake. How are

(04:31:23):
you feeling. I've never treated a werewolf before, I've never
been pumped full of lead or silver before, so we're good.
How's Tracy's fine? Your son, Noah is quite the handful,
but he's been sleeping beside you almost all week. I

(04:31:44):
smiled and reached out my hand to Jenna, and she
approached me and let me take it. I struggled to
sit up in bed. Look, Josh, hey, don't worry about it.
I made a lot of mistakes, but I'm trying to
make up for them here and now I've got a
son to raise better than Dad raised us. I've also

(04:32:06):
got to think about my next kid coming. I squeezed
Jenna's hand and she returned the gesture warmly. Tracy has
been pretty great to our mom and dad. We're staying
here with you for now until we figure out what
to do about the cops. Back in Owen's Sound, oh yeah,
we kind of performed John Wick in front of our house,
didn't we Yep, that's gonna be fun to explain to

(04:32:29):
the insurance company, isn't it. I chuckled at that image,
but it hurt to laugh. Guess not all injuries have
healed entirely. Okay, when you feel up to it, get
dressed and come downstairs. I think you'll be pretty pleased
with what you see. Jenna left the room and I
started to get my clothes on. Very slowly and carefully.

(04:32:53):
I opened the door to the bedroom and made my
way down the hall. I looked down the stairs to
my own living room and was greeted by the most
beautiful sight I could imagine. My Dad and Howard were
sitting on the couch together and talking. They were smiling.

(04:33:15):
Mom and Tracy were sitting by the fireplace and having coffee.
Noah was asleep in front of the largest Christmas tree
I had ever thought we could pack into our little house.
It wasn't how I envisioned our families would meet for
our first Christmas. But you know what it'll do, and

(04:33:45):
that is tonight's Christmas binge. My spookies cyborgs in the
snow staring down a demon in a Santa suit elves
with killing orders, zombies crashing Christmas, and ghosts who don't
care how pretty the lights look when they come to collect.

(04:34:07):
But the Dark has a schedule, and we're keeping it.
This Monday. It's terrifying and true, featuring the legend of
pere Foeta, the Christmas Punisher, the butcher who killed children
in his shop, hid them insulting barrels, and was cursed
to trail behind Saint Nicholas as a whip wielding shadow

(04:34:31):
of the season, the one who comes for the truly
naughty when kindness runs out. And of course, next Saturday,
we drop our final Christmas compilation, one last overstuffed stocking
of holiday horror, crammed with twisted tear and enough blood

(04:34:53):
in the snow to stain the whole season. And the
Saturday right after that we ring in a different kind
of celebration with a terrifying compilation of New Year's nightmares,
midnight countdowns that end in screams, resolutions written in blood,

(04:35:15):
and parties where the only thing dropping are bodies on
the floor. So stay warm, keep your headphones charged, keep
the cocoa hot, and remember there's a new nightmare waiting
every day until Christmas and even more scares every single

(04:35:36):
week the rest of the year, so make sure you're subscribed.
I'll be talking to you real soon to

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