Fairground Frights: 7 Carnival Nightmares

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello there, my Spooky, it's your narrator and host, Enrique
Kuto here. Step right up and mind the gaps between
the boards. They're deeper than they look. Tonight, Weekly Spooky
presents a dive into the deep vault of horrors we
have with a little fair ground frights, seven tales of cotton,

(00:28):
candy that tastes like dust, prizes that come with an
additional cost later, and rides that don't always end where
they began. Behind the sideshow curtain, a cabinet of curiosities
keeps souvenirs that remember every one of their owners and

(00:49):
how they die. A painted grin follows you past the
funhouse mirrors, and a smaller grin on a little clown
that wasn't there a second ago follows you too. In
the arcade, a humming cabinet knows your name and is
very sure you owe another quarter to start, So get

(01:10):
your hand stamped, keep your eyes on your operator at
all times, and whatever you do, don't take the free
upgrade to a longer ride. Make sure you're subscribed on
your favorite podcasting app, because Weekly Spooky brings you something
new and terrifying every Wednesday. Now enjoy the ride. And

(01:33):
don't just keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle,
just try to keep them at all fun In Funerals
by David O'Hanlon, the death of a clown is no

(01:53):
laughing matter. It leaves a bleak, unhappy void in the
universe equal to the amount of joy the departed had caused.
FeNiS farcemeister white Face of the Amityville Shutter, had brought
happiness to millions. His body rested in the lavender casket,
with his bright red shoes sticking straight up and his

(02:14):
orange hair jutting over the side. Before him, a pedestal
too large for its contents stood erect, as a grim
reminder of the task to come. The remainder of his
shutter mourned in their own ways while they awaited the
arrival of Pastor Crumb. How are we supposed to close

(02:35):
the lid, Popsy Pringle asked, gruffly, wiggling the toe of
Fenis's shoe. Might as well just slap some crocks on him.
You don't have to be in such a hurry, Popsy,
sweet pea cheapskate sobbed. Sweet brother Blippy put an arm
around her shoulders and nodded in agreement. The twins were
the shutter's resident tramps. The tears rolled down Blippy's rotund

(02:57):
cheeks and disappeared in the smear of his grease paint beard.
The siblings both focused on the pedestal, or, more accurately,
the egg resting atop it. Blippy chewed his lip nervously
and tipped his torn top hat respectfully. We all know
you'll be the next whiteface, he said softly. You don't

(03:18):
have to be so eager to take it. Callousness is
for humans. Clowns are better than that. Popsy groaned and
gave his nose a squeak. Spare me. Blippy gasped at
the insulting gesture and sobbed on his sister's shoulder. Waldo,
Tatter's tied eye shit kickers, clopped across the wood floors

(03:39):
with his spurs jangling, until he stood before the egg.
Its scaly vermilion shell was painted with Fenis's likeness, and
locks of his hair snipped and glued to the sides.
Every clown had an egg in their shutter's reliquary. Waldo
traced his fingers across the curve of the egg. He

(04:00):
took off his cowboy hat and pressed it to his
denim shirt. Rodeo clowns were rogues and rarely allowed membership.
In a shudder, Fennis saw beyond Waldo's wily, psychotic demeanor. However,
don't you worry none, partner, the cowboy said lowly, We
won't take too long. We'd better not. Popsy checked his

(04:24):
oversized watch. Where the hell is crumb? No one likes
a sad clown. Sweet squirmed uncomfortably in her pew. She'd
seen a pureaut once. It was the worst thing that
could happen to a clown. The code called for funerary games,
so that the laughter of the shutter could carry the
soul to the Palace of joy. If the games didn't

(04:46):
appease the soul of the departed clown, however, it would
become trapped in the void, and they would return as
a pierrot, a hideous, undead monstrosity that devoured flesh and
spread col phobia. You can't bring joy if the audience
thinks you might eat their faces. The code don't cop

(05:07):
to convenience, Waldo reminded him. He looked at the flower
on Phenis's lapel. Its petals danced in the artificial wind
of the oscillating fan, but FeNiS remained still. Rather get
on with the chase myself, all the same, it'll be
a hell of a blow off. Blippy tugged the handkerchief

(05:27):
from his breast pocket, dragging out an extra three feet
of multicolored linen. He blew his nose on it and
folded it back into his pocket, a sad smile stretched
across his chubby cheeks. Fenis'll be able to rest easy
in the palace seeing the party we threw for him.
Gonna be a different kind of party if an we
don't get a move on. Waldo patted the egg and sighed.

(05:52):
He turned to Popsy, who's the pecker head anyway? His
name is al A new voice said, al Muse. The
shutter turned their attention to the tiny trapezoidal door leading
to the church's rectory. Pastor Crumb's four foot height made
it through the door easily, but the prisoner he escorted

(06:12):
on a leash took to crawling on his knees to
fit through. Pastor Crumb jerked backward as the leather strap
went taut. He huffed and waited for the prisoner to
catch up, using the moment to attend an urgent itch
south of his bulging belly. Al doesn't like clowns, the
pastor said. He adjusted the white collar beneath his second chin.

(06:33):
I imagine he's really going to hate us after tonight,
the shutter laughed. Al tried to stand when eighteen inches
of checkered vinyl kicked him square between the shoulders. Popsy
knelt on the human's back and held his hand out
to Pastor Crumb. Enough propriety, give me the biscuit. Crumb
took the revolver from the inside of his jacket and

(06:54):
twirled it clumsily on his finger. He shook his head.
We have one more point of business. He waved for
Popsy to move. The august clown growled, but rose none
the less. Popsy rolled his gloved hand theatrically and gave
a phony bow. He slapped the toe of his shoe
down on Al's face. There's no reason for you to

(07:15):
get up, he said, the nub of the smoldering stogy
between his yellow teeth. Get on with it. Pastor FeNiS
Farsmeister was a clown of the highest order. We gather
here not to just honor the code. He glared over
his shoulder at Popsy, nor to anoint a new white face.

(07:37):
We are here to say a final goodbye to a
clown that was more than a mere leader or friend.
FeNiS was a mentor when we were ignorant, a father
when we were alone, and a force of will when
we were rebellious. He brought joy to the humans like
no other clown before him, and in doing so, he

(07:58):
restored this shudder to a place of reverence among all
clown kin. Amen Pastor Crumb sweet agreed, FeNiS did such
wondrous works in his two and a half centuries. Crumb continued,
why if it weren't for him, we might not even
have the squirting flower gag. He took juggling to new

(08:20):
heights literally by doing it on the tight rope. He
restored the pooting bag to glory when he showed the
humans how to make their whoopee cushions. There has never
been a more beloved and potent clown than FeNiS, and
never shall there be. We have had a grand day
of remembrance. However, the time has now come to say

(08:44):
our final goodbye. Goodbye. They all shouted in unison. Pastor
Crumb flipped the lid of the casket shut on Fenis's corpse.
It remained propped open by the bulboust toes of his shoes.
The shutter chuckled at Penis's final gag. Crumb's belly jiggled
with raucous laughter. His laughter cut off as abruptly as

(09:07):
hitting pause. His smile fell, and the grease paint did
nothing to hide the dour expression etched on his face.
Al Musing, you have been chosen as the guest of honor,
Crumb grumbled. He waved his fingers to signal, popsy away.
A clown is dead, A human must die. That is

(09:29):
the code to which both our kind are bound. Al
stood up slowly and tore the burlap sack off his head.
He glared around the room at each of the clowns.
You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Do we look like
the joking kind? Blippy asked. Sweet stood and sauntered to
the casket. She dragged a wicker basket from underneath its

(09:52):
stand and knelt with a smile toward Al, before dumping
the contents out. Her aquamarine hair tapered to fusia end
that acted like arrows, directing all gazes to the struggling
buttons of her unkempt hobo sheik blouse. It took great effort,
but finally Al's eyes jumped from the cleavage to the

(10:13):
cleavers skittering across the floor. They were oversized and ancient,
specked with rust and old blood, and accompanied by matching mallets.
So m Al cleared his throat. Which one of you
makes the balloon animals? We all do, dummy, Blippy informed him, good,

(10:38):
start with a cock and go fuck yourselves. Waldo, chuckled.
Partner's got some guts, I'll be wearing them like a
big pink Boa. Sweet hissed sordidly. The blade of her
cleaver scraped a divot in the floor. I'll keep you
alive while I pull them out, so you can tell
me how ravishing I look before I split your skull open.

(11:00):
As appealing as that sounds, how about we just split
and fuck each other. Silly Al winked and blew her
a kiss. Blippy jumped up fast enough to knock the
church pew over. That's my sister, dick weed. Your sister
Al gave the clown a critical once over. Your mom
had an affair, You son of a bitch enough tom Foolery,

(11:25):
Crumb shouted. He jammed the revolver into Al's waistband. We're
not animals. We'll give you a shot, but just one.
Fuck it? Why not? Al pulled the leash off his
neck and threw it down. What's the game? Time for
games is past, Popsy said. The chase begins now. All

(11:49):
you gotta do is survive until midnight. Al grabbed Popsy's hand.
The clown jerked away, but Al held firm and turned
his arm over to look at the face of the
oversized watch. Forty seven minutes remaining. Probably be easier just
to kill you all, Al suggested, that's funny. Popsy shoved

(12:11):
Al away from him. You're a real comic, Al choke
on my McNuggets. Ronald Al jogged for the door. The
clowns set off giant party poppers, showering him with confetti
and whooped with excitement behind him. Once he was outside,
he took in his surroundings quickly. A polka dot Volkswagen
Beetle was parked along the front of the clown church,

(12:33):
which looked more like a converted funhouse with its colorful
facade and odd angles. It was also smack dab in
the middle of fucking nowhere. Rows of tombstones extended as
far as he could see by the moonlight. All right,
all right, think al you need a plan. He had
a head start, a gun with one bullet and five

(12:54):
clowns hell bent on murdering him in less than an hour.
The outline of a mausoleum then caught his eye. You
can't spell slaughter without a laugh. A train whistle screamed
inside the church. Waldo rubbed his ears. Crusty h Christ

(13:15):
Blippy Pastor Crumb mirrored Waldo. You don't sorry. Blippy hung
his head and tucked the whistle into his overalls. I
just wanted to let everyone know the chase is starting.
We're all in the same room, dipshit. Popsy slapped him
in the back of the head. Besides, Crumb starts the chase.

(13:37):
Crumb padded Phenis's corpse and proceeded to the pulpit. Popsy
tapped the back of his cleaver against the metal head
of the mallet until he got the precise rhythm. The
toes of clown shoes tapped in harmony with it. Popsy
scowled and licked his lips with excitement. Strike up the band,
We got us a human to kill. Popsy roared, Crumb

(14:00):
pressed the button, and Stars and Stripes Forever blared to
life through the church's PA system. The four others roared
and stormed for the building in pursuit of their quarry.
Blippy took aim and smashed the handle free from the
mausoleum door. It wasn't his first chase, and the prey

(14:24):
usually went straight to the nearest shelter. He twirled the
mallet in his hands and kicked open the door with
a floppy torn shoe. Sweet rushed into the building with
her weapons at the ready. The place was empty. The
bronze nameplates of the dead spread across the two longside walls,
and the back wall was occupied almost entirely by a

(14:46):
stained glass window depicting the first clown at the center
and his six disciples and pains around him. Sweet crossed
herself and approached the ornate tomb that sat in the
center of the room. She took a deep breath and
pressed against the top with her shoulder. Its heavy stone
lids scraped open slowly. She expected al Musing to reach

(15:10):
out for her, but nothing happened. She peeked inside and
muttered an apology to the skeletal remains within the tomb.
Dowey the mine rested as silently in death as he
had been in life. Sweet turned to her brother and shrugged,
he's not here, Blippy. She looked around the otherwise empty room.

(15:33):
Guess we got it wrong this time, rats. Blip threw
his hammer down with a clatter. I just knew he'd
come straight here. Where else could he be? Probably headed
to the hedge Maze. Let's meet Waldo there, Sweet suggested.
The two tramps skulk out the front door and froze
as the headlights blazed before them. Circus music sounded from

(15:54):
the VW Bug's horn as it sped toward them, throwing
a shower of dirt and grass from its spinning tires.
Sweet cartwheeled out of the way, but Blippy was too slow.
Sorry to bug you, Al howled with a laugh. The
car struck Blippy low, flipping him onto the hood. His
face smacked against the windshield, streaking the glass with his

(16:15):
grease paint. Al smiled at him from the other side.
The car smashed through the front wall, ramped off the
tomb of Dowie and launched into the air. They crashed
through the massive window, showering the yard beyond in its
psychedelic haale. The car landed hard, the tires exploded, the
shocks collapsed, but its momentum kept the beetle careening forward

(16:38):
until it hit the oak tree. Al batted the air
bag down and beat his shoulder against the bent door.
It finally squeaked open and fell off beside the car.
Al got out and popped his neck with a groan.
Blippy bee Cheapskate's eyes dangled from his skull, forced out
by the impact. The rest of him just burst open

(16:59):
like a confeti filled balloon animal and sprayed the area
in viscera. Al chuckled, guess that answers how many cars
you can fit in? A clown? Sweet jumped over the
car and slashed at Al with the cleaver. He ducked
and rolled, grabbing the car door and swinging it by
the window frame to bat the diminutive nymph away. Let
me get the door for you, Al quipped, hardy fucking

(17:22):
har harror. Sweet spat blood with jokes like that, you
could be a birthday clown. Do you think I have
the chops? I'll give you some chops. Sweet lunged forward.
Al held the car door up like a shield. Sweet's
cleaver cut through the thin metal with ease. Al fell backwards,
flipping the tramp over him in the process. He snapped

(17:43):
to his feet, but Sweet was up before him and
climbed his body, Her stocking legs wrapped around his neck.
She locked her ankles behind his back, twisted her fingers
into his mop of blonde hair, and squeezed her thighs tighter.
Lucky fella, dying with your face in my cotton candy,
Sweet laughed monion. As Al weakened and fell to his knees.

(18:03):
Sweet dropped backwards, grabbing her own ankle to tighten the hold.
Al threw ever weakening punches at her. She drove her
elbow into the top of his head like a jackhammer.
Al slumped over his fingers, tapped, and dragged through the
grass for anything that might help enough, clowning around, Sweet
stretched out, reaching for her cleaver. I'm going to cut

(18:25):
off all your appendages in alphabetical order. Ah. Sweet rolled
away from Al. She prodded the ragged hole in her
thigh tentatively. The human choked and gagged behind her fucking
clowns always leave a funny taste in my mouth. Al coughed,
scouring his bloody face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

(18:47):
Blood spurted between Sweet's fingers while she worked a fuchia
tie from a pigtail to tourniquet the gaping bite mark.
She seized the cleaver while she could and turned around
to find him Miss fuck. Sweet panned around searching for him.
She limped back to the church to regroup with Pastor Crumb.

(19:08):
In case the others had failed to kill Al in
the allotted time, someone would need to be there to
smash the egg. Whoever it was would be the next whiteface,
and Popsy would not be pleased it beat the alternative.
Sweet stopped in her tracks. Of course, if the human
killed them all, there'd be no one left to laugh

(19:29):
for any of their spirits. Sweet gulped at the thought
she needed to stay in the hunt. Al groaned and
rubbed a rising knot on the back of his head.
The she clown had kicked his ass. He needed to
fight smarter. If he made it to midnight, they'd all

(19:50):
leave him alone. That's what they said. Anyhow, if you
can't trust a clown to keep his word? Then, who
can you trust? He crept along the hedge row f
following the shouted goating of one of his hunters. He
slipped through a gap in the wall and realized he
was standing in a maze. Of course, I fucking am,

(20:11):
he whispered. Well spaced led lights shone on the gravel
track between the verdant walls on either side of him.
They didn't give him much light, but enough to pick
out the deep grooves of cowboy boot tracks. He stayed low,
as much to keep his eye on the trail as
to avoid detection. His sneakers gave him some advantage on

(20:32):
the shifting rocks. As he moved through the corridors. The
cowboy's voice grew louder. Then he heard the jingle jangle
of the spurs. Al sank to his knees and crawled
to the edge of another opening, peeking around cautiously. The
boot heel struck him square in the forehead. Al toppled over,

(20:53):
blinking spots from his vision. He got to his hands
and knees when a kick met his ribs. Giddy up, fuckeroo.
He watched the rodeo clown thumbs hooked on his belt
loops dancing closer to him. The Tidiye boots shuffled through
the gravel and then buried into his side again and again.
Al tried to escape. Waldo kept pace with the human,

(21:16):
kicking him like a soccer ball. As he rolled away
from the deranged clown, Al felt the poke of branches
in his back. When he reached the wall, another solid
kick went into his gut. His microwave dinner splattered on
the clown's boots. You dirty, some bitch, Waldo licked his
glossy red lips. I'm gonna lie and dance your fucking

(21:36):
face into puddin' for that. Waldo's smile faded when he
saw the gun barrel jabbed into his crotch. He patted
the air and took two steps back. Ever seen a
clown juggle without any balls, Al groaned and pressed himself up,
Keeping the gun trained on Waldo, He steadied his aim
between the clown's eyes. You only got the one shot, partner,

(21:59):
There's only one of you. Al straightened his aim and
squeezed the trigger. The flag snapped out of the barrel,
unfurling in an orange banner that read bang in Big
purple letters. Al sputtered his lips and shook his head.
Waldo slapped his thighs and whooped happily. The clown danced
in a circle, booming with laughter at the timeless gag.

(22:21):
He turned back around and snapped his fingers, holding them
at his hips like firing pistols. The miniature flagstaff rammed
straight through his eye. Al swung the dummy revolver like
a hammer, driving the spike through the back of Waldo's skull.
The flag sticking out of his face fluttered lightly in
the breeze. Bang, you're dead. The gloved hands burst through

(22:43):
the brush and seized Al around the throat. He battered
the geometrically patterned yellow silk sleeves. His knuckles clanked off
the oversized wristwatch. The clown's muscles tensed, and Al's face
was pulled closer to the protruding branches. Al closed his
eyes tightly, feeling the twigs clawing at his lips to
get to the soft tissue. He who laughs. Last, Popsy
shouted with a great guffaw. Al reached through the bush

(23:05):
and grabbed the first thing he could. Popsy's laughter turned
to high pitch wailing, let me go, Al growled. Popsy's
white gloved fingers sprang open, and Al released him. The
human strolled around the corner, popping his knuckles. Popsy rubbed
his sore crotch and growled angrily. All right, Bozo, big dick,

(23:26):
it's just you and me, he said. We're about out
of time. Popsy checked his watch. Shit, I really wanted
to enjoy killing you, but I can't be late getting
back to the church. Spent too many years in the
shadow of FeNiS. It's my time to be the white face.

(23:47):
You killed your boss, didn't you. Popsy glared at him, quizzically.
How'd you know? Al shrugged? Everyone wants to kill their boss.
Hugh killed Fennis, A soft melodic voice said from the
shadow between the two lights. He was never going to
rest until his egg was smashed. That's why you were

(24:07):
in such a rush to kill this human. You two
clearly have things to discuss. Al said, holding his hands
up defensively. I'll show myself out. You're not going anywhere.
Popsy adjusted his absurdly large tie. Sweet, I understand you're pissed.
Sweet hobbled forward, brandishing her cleaver. Oh that's an understatement.

(24:29):
If the human lives, FeNiS becomes a pirole. Popsy drew
his weapons from his pockets. We have to kill him first.
It's the code. Sweet looked at Al, then back to Popsy.
She kicked the gravel with a frustrated shriek. Two of
us have a better chance, Sweet, Popsy smiled at her.
Al took his shot while the august was distracted. He

(24:50):
lunged to tackle him, only for the hammer to come
down on the small of his back. Popsy drove a
knee into Al's chin. The human wrapped up in Popsy's
legs clown shimmy, trying to get his ridiculous shoes through
Al's grip. Finish him, Sweet, Popsy shouted. Sweet gripped the
cleaver in both hands and raised it high as she
stalked closer. Break the egg, Al yelled. Popsy stopped struggling.

(25:16):
Sweet lowered her weapons slightly become the white face. Al said,
shuffling his feet under him. Stop him, no, Popsy hissed.
He glared at Al, then shot a glance to Sweet.
Her tongue pressed against her cheek as she thought it over.
If she smashed the egg, she would be the white face,

(25:37):
and her and Crumb would send him to the alley
for trial. That couldn't happen. There was only one punishment
for jesterside. The thought of such horrors sent shivers up
Popsy's spine and stealed his nerve. He swung his own cleaver.
Sweet's head popped off her shoulders in a fountain of blood.
She stumbled about, tripping over Al and collapsing beside him.

(25:59):
The stump gunrushed her body twitched, and Popsy laughed malevolently. Sweetie,
you always did give the best head. Al kicked off,
pulling Popsy's legs out from under him. He grabbed Sweet's
cleaver and swung at the august, slicing the toe of
his shoe off but missing the meat inside. Popsy rolled

(26:19):
and kicked the knife from Al's hand before scrambling back
to his feet. Al spotted Popsy's mallet and rolled across
the ground, scooping it and coming to his knees in
a single motion. Popsy brought his cleaver down for a
killing blow. Al deflected it and smashed the clown's ankle
with the hammer. Al tried to tackle him again and
was successful. The mallet swung wildly. It struck Popsy's bright

(26:42):
red nose with a squeak that drowned out the crunch
of the bone. Al laughed. It was all he could do,
laugh and swing, hit and squeak, over and over until
Popsy's face collapsed and the just made a sticky, thick

(27:02):
smack with each repeated blow. Al finally stopped and came
to his senses. He checked Popsy's watch and headed back
to the church. There was still one clown left to kill,
and only four minutes to do it in Al stepped
into the clown church and saw Pastor Crumb writhing on

(27:25):
the floor. The top of a white head with flocks
of orange hair was buried in his abdomen, munching noisily
on the pastor's guts. The pirot lifted its gore streaked
face and hissed, you must be the famous Penis, the
clown everyone's been telling me about. Fennis stood in a hunkered,
crooked mockery of normalcy. He tore at his clothing, revealing

(27:48):
the Farcemeister family name across his powerful chest. The clown's
bared teeth wiggled in their sockets and fell away as
fangs pushed through the gums to take their place. Smoke
rose from his pores, steaming his grease paint from his
face and taking the flesh with it. Bone showed through
in the original pattern of his makeup. The clown shuddered,

(28:10):
and his chest tore open with a great blooming flower
that spurted its nectar into steaming puddles on the floor.
The pirot lunged forward. Al cocked backed the mallet and
took aim at the egg resting on its pedestal. He
flung the weapon at it and missed. The hammer sailed
harmlessly over it and struck the massive cross behind the podium.

(28:31):
The ornament rocked on its hangers. FeNiS drew closer to Al,
running his now clawed hands tearing at the floorboards like
a circuits monkey. FeNiS sprang into the air. The clown
seemed to fall in slow motion as Al awaited his demise.
The cross crashed down on Penis's coffin, knocking it into
the pedestal and tipping it over. The vermilion egg hit

(28:52):
the floor a moment before FeNiS landed on Al. The
egg shattered, splattering the floor with its gooey, unnatural contents.
Fennis exploded. The force knocked Al to the floor ahead
of a tidal wave of viscera and blood that washed
over him. He worked to untangle himself from a length
of intestine and stood up, dripping with clown goo. I'll

(29:14):
probably laugh about this later. He spat out a piece
of flesh and shook his head. I hate clowns. Al
limped toward the exit. He just wanted to go home,
back to his shitty basement apartment with his hot pockets
and his porn collection, and he never wanted to see
another fucking clown. He threw open the door of the

(29:35):
church and groaned. Sweet was ambling toward him with her
head in her hands. Blippy dragged his remains across the
graveyard lawn. The snapping of the bang flag blowing in
the wind drew his attention to Waldo helping Popsy navigate
the headstones. Al slammed the door and backed away from it.
The knobs started to turn. It's midnight. He sobbed. I

(29:59):
made it this, this isn't fair.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
No.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
A pair of bloody hands clutched his shoulders and passed her.
Crumb leaned close to his ear with a giggle. It's
a circus. The door creaked open, and the others shambled in.
Crumb bit into Al's cheek, and the others closed in
around him. Al saw their fangs and the bones showing
where their makeup had been. There was no one left

(30:23):
in the shutter, no one to bring their souls to
joy anymore. Sweep threw her head at him, and the
damn thing latched onto his chest. While Crumb dragged him
to the floor. Popsy stood over him. His words came
in a gurgled mess. Laughter Never Dies. Babes in terror

(30:55):
Land by Morgan Moore. As with many holiday seasons before it,
parents and children flocked to Baron's toy store in the
village of Green Seas. In the middle of the crowd
was Justin Barn, a fourteen year old boy with an
apron featuring a hand sewn version of the store's logo.

(31:15):
In the middle. Justin was staying with his grandmother, the
owner of the store, for the holidays while his parents
were away on a business trip. He was enlisted to
lend a hand almost immediately upon his arrival. With it
being the store's busiest time of year, Justin could never
understand how she managed it all on her own, but
she had been doing it ever since his grandfather died

(31:37):
a few years ago, and was managing it successfully. Somehow.
Justin moved around the store as best he could, seeing
how crowded the small store was. In all, the building
itself was an old brownstone, with the store situated on
the ground floor and Missus Baron's home on the second.
The store could become a claustrophobic nightmare when business was booming,

(31:58):
but he managed stocking the shelves and helping out customers
as best he could. By the time three o'clock came around,
Justin was spent and was ready for the day to
be over so he could finally get some rest. Those
thoughts were interrupted when he laid eyes on Kathy Wilcox.
He had known her since fourth grade and had a
crush on her that never faded. Justin always wanted to

(32:22):
tell her how he felt, but he could never muster
up the courage to do it. Somehow, he could picture
everything he wanted to say, but anytime he saw her,
it all vanished. Justin felt himself beginning to melt as
he kept looking at her. His face turned bright red
and immediately Justin began to do some busy work around
the area, trying to disguise the fact that he had

(32:45):
been staring at her. Justin's heart beat faster and faster,
as if somebody was pounding away on a drum. But
that came to an immediate halt when he felt a
gentle tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw
Kathy there. Hijen. Kathy said sweetly, Hi, Kathy, Justin stammered,

(33:05):
his face feeling like it was on fire. Kathy gave
him an intimate smile, her blue eyes seeming to shimmer
to Justin. Mind if I ask you a question? Uh oh,
Justin thought, She's gonna chew me out for looking at her,
and in the middle of the store too, everybody's gonna
think I'm some perv. Sure, Justin responded, after a brief pause.

(33:28):
Could you help me and my sister real quick? What
a relief? Justin thought? Oh? Yeah, for sure. What do
you guys need? He asked. She then began to walk
away down an aisle. Justin followed close behind her. My
sister found something she wants, but I can't reach it,
and neither can she. I saw you and thought i'd

(33:49):
ask if you could bring it down for me. Since
you're so tall and all, Kathy explained, Oh, yeah, I
should be able to get it for you. Justin replied
with a smile. Kathy returned the smile. Man, she's so cute,
Justin thought, as they kept walking beside one another. The
two eventually got to their location and joined Kathy's sister, Janet.

(34:13):
Upon seeing Justin and the apron identifying him as a
store employee, Janet pointed upwards toward the top of the
shelf she was standing at that one, Please, Janet asked Justin.
Justin looked up to where the child pointed and saw
a clown doll. The doll had been in the store
ever since he could remember. It had a wooden head
and hands, and was dressed in a hand sewn outfit

(34:35):
colored silver and blue. A jester had adorned its head,
bells dangling down playfully. Justin had always thought it looked creepy,
and other people must have thought the same, as the
doll had been around the store ever since he was
a child. But maybe finally someone had found the doll
appealing and wanted to give it a home. Justin smiled

(34:57):
and reached up just barely able to get the doll,
he got a grip on it and brought it down,
handing it gently to the little girl. Here you go,
Justin said. Janet smiled as she held and stared at
the doll. Kathy turned to Justin and gave him a
big smile. He returned it in kind. I want him,
Janet responded energetically, as she held the clown doll up

(35:19):
to the two. How much is it, Cathy asked Justin.
I'm not sure. It doesn't look like it has a
tag on it. Let's ask my grandma, Justin said. They
arrived at the register to find Justin's grandmother smiling at
the three. There you are, Justin. What cute friends you
have there, she said. Kathy blushed lightly at the comment, Hey, grandma,

(35:41):
how much is this? There's no tag on it, or
even a sign on the shelf it was on. His
grandmother's smile turned to a slight frown. Oh honey, I'm
so sorry that doll isn't for sale. I only keep
it on the shelf for decoration, she explained as sweetly
as possible. But I want it, Janet told her. Are

(36:04):
you sure you're not able to sell it? Kathy asked, Unfortunately,
I am dear. My husband made the doll many years
ago for Justin's mother and it just has too much
sentimental value for me to sell it. It's been watching
over the store for years, Justin's grandma explained to the three.
Janet frowned, tears starting to well up. Justin smiled a

(36:28):
little bit at the two and at his grandma. It's
all right, I'll put him back, Justin said. He then
made a motion with his head for Kathy and Janet
to follow him. The three of them made their way
back to the aisle. Janet looked utterly devastated that she
couldn't have the doll, and Cathy looked equally saddened for
her sister. Once they got back to the aisle, Justin

(36:49):
put the doll back up. He then turned to Kathy
with a small grin. She tilted her head in confusion.
What is it? Why are you grinning like that? She asked? Asked,
because I know of a way to get that doll
for Janet, he explained. Janet's face brightened up at once.
Really how Justin moved in a bit closer to Kathy

(37:13):
so that he could talk to her. In semi privacy.
Janet frowned when she realized what was going on. My
grandma is gonna go out to a party tonight and
I'll be alone for hours. Come on buy around eight
and I'll let you in. We can get the doll then,
he explained to her. But she'll notice, won't she, Kathy asked,
don't worry, I'll take care of it. Just be here

(37:35):
by eight. Later that night, Justin made his way downstairs
to the store and opened the front door to find
Kathy and Janet standing there. Justin frowned a tiny bit

(37:55):
as the two girls made their way inside. Why did
you bring your sister, he asked, doing his best to
hide his disappointment that it wasn't just Kathy. She wanted
to come, and I couldn't get her to stay home
without spilling the beans. I told my parents I was
going out with friends, and she threatened to tell them
what I was really doing. Kathy explained, I mean it

(38:16):
isn't entirely untrue. You are hanging out with a friend,
Justin said, with a small smile. I'm going. Janet blurted
out and ran towards the aisle with the doll. So
how are you going to explain this to your grandma,
Kathy asked as she walked past the display of a
toy war scene. Oh, I'm gonna tell her I ordered

(38:37):
a pizza and just forgot to lock the door on
my way back up. I'll take some money out of
the register and hide a few other toys, maybe knock
some displays over and make it look like somebody broke
in and robbed the place, he explained. That's pretty clever. Mean,
but clever, she responded as she stopped by the register,
Justin stopping in front of her. Hey, what can I say?

(39:01):
Justin said? Kathy smiled a bit as she fiddled with
some small toys by the register. She looked around, then
returned her gaze to Justin. Why are you doing this
for us? Why are you risking getting into so much trouble?
His mind raced at a million miles an hour, trying
to figure out how to explain why he was so
willing to help her sister out. No, help her out.

(39:24):
Before he could give it any more thought, he'd blurted
out his response, It's because I like you. I've always
liked you. I think you're sweet and cute, and I
just wanted to help because I like you, and I
thought maybe you'd like me back if I did it.
He gasped for breath, Justin closed his eyes and took
several deep breaths, eventually regaining control of his breathing. After
a few brief minutes, he opened his eyes, finding that

(39:46):
Cathy was staring at him, her mouth dropped open some
and her eyes wide dread filled. Justin his heart beating
harder and harder. Oh no, she's going to leave and
never speak to me again and tell everybody I'm a
loser and a freak. But she surprised him by smiling
at him warmly and widely. Justin slowly smiled back. They

(40:09):
brought their faces close to one another, only a hair's
breath apart. The scream that ripped through the air put
an end to that. Janet Kathy called out and rushed
toward the location the scream emanated from, just In following
in her wake. The duo arrived to find Janet laying
on the floor, screaming and crying in agony, her eye
sockets bleeding profusely. As for the former resident of those

(40:32):
yawning black holes, they were in the hands of the
clown doll. The toy turned its head and looked at them.
Justin and Cathy bolted from the aisle, the clown doll
right behind them. As they ran down the aisles, Cathy
shrieked as the other toys began to spring from the
shelves and joined the hunt. Stuffed bears and lions pawed

(40:52):
at them with vicious claws that sprang from their plush baws,
as metal model cars pelted down on the teens like rain,
leaving bruises and cuts. Justin managed to grab a baseball
bat from a nearby barrel and started swinging away, as
Kathy grabbed a stick horse and did the same. The
two sent toys flying left and right, but more and
more came forth. Soon Justin and Cathy found themselves surrounded.

(41:14):
They continued to swing away, but soon the terror toys
grabbed their weapons and pulled them away, leaving the pair defenseless.
Justin and Cathy looked at each other and took hold
of each other's hand, ready to accept their doomed fate.
The store lights came alive and bathed everything in a warm,
fluorescent glow, causing the pair to start, oh no, look

(41:37):
at this mess. The voice of Justin's grandmother rang out.
The older woman looked around at all the toys, who
now looked back at her. She stopped a few feet
away from the rattled teens. Grandma, what's going on? Why
are you home? Justin spat out, in a mix of
confusion and anger. And why did they attack us and

(42:00):
my sister, my god Janet Cathy started, but soon stopped
as she succumbed to raw grief. The senior shook her
head and sighed, I suppose I should explain. You see
these toys, all of them, they come alive every nightfall.
But why how, Justin demanded Justin, dear your grandfather, Your

(42:26):
grandfather made them that way. Business hasn't been the same
for years, not since that damned department store opened up. Then,
when we learned your grandpa didn't have long left, he
was afraid of what would happen to the store. To me,
it was his opinion that without any help, the store
would have shut down, So he decided to create some help.

(42:52):
Your grandfather came across a strange scroll during the war
in a bombed out toy store, a store he swore
was filled with screaming, burning toys. You can guess the rest.
These toys have been cleaning, stocking, and providing security as
you've seen here ever since. These wonderful toys. They're loyal

(43:16):
and always have been and always will be. Justin and
Cathy were taken aback. They believed it all, after all,
how could they not, But something still bothered them. Oh
thank god, we're safe, then, Cathy told them. The two
smiled as they looked at each other and then at

(43:38):
Justin's grandma, but the smiles faded as they saw that
the elder in front of them was grim. Grandma Justin
started with a shaky voice. I'm sorry, love, but you
were trespassing. You know. I don't like you coming down
here at night to say nothing of your friend here

(43:59):
and her sit. The store was closed. Besides, they don't
move during the day, but they can still hear. When
I left for the party, they told me about your
little plan. That's why I came back early. You mean
you're gonna turn us into the police, Kathy asked, No,

(44:19):
Unfortunately for you two. I leave all my security matters
up to them, and I believe I know what they'll
do with you. She explained. The toy soldiers from the
war scene filed in aiming their guns at the teenagers.
Justin and Cathy's faces displayed pure and utter terror. With that,
Justin's grandmother left and made her way to the stairs.

(44:42):
She looked over at the two again and shook her
head and sighed. Then, with a flick of her wrist,
she turned off the lights. A stream of sharp bangs
filled the store. Aphiucus by Daniel Wilder. Hey, my name

(45:18):
is Darcy. We aren't familiar enough for last names, but
after this maybe who knows. Anyway, we need to go
back to that day if we're going to continue. I
hopped on my green bike with the banana seat, the
one with the metallic paint that made it shine and
shimmer like those flies you'd always see in the summer

(45:39):
on piles of dog poop at the park. But today
there was no sun to make my baby pretty, just cold,
gray clouds and plenty of rain. A real bummer, I thought,
as I inserted the ACE card in my spokes. Oh,
that we all did it. I don't know why. Some
said it made our bikes make noises like a motorcycle,
but I always thought it was a load of garbage.

(46:01):
It was a trend, So we all jumped on it
and did it. And that was that, plain and simple,
and far be it from yours truly to buck a trend.
So I jumped on my green machine and began pedling
on into what turned out to be a pretty solid rainstorm,
not uncommon for upstate New York in June. But you're
not here for the weather report, I'd wager on and

(46:23):
on I peddled. Why well, Billy Macintosh had claimed that
Roco's Gas and Go accidentally received a rare arcade cabinet,
and that was my thing. Video games. Now, this being
nineteen eighty two, and this being a sleepy, backwards mountain town,
it was a big deal for us kids when some
pizza parlor or supermarket got themselves a new game, but

(46:47):
for a gas station to get that game, that game
whispered about middle school cafeterias and under bleachers. Wait, did
I mention my mono? I got mono that kept me
in bed from mid April to late May thanks to
an experimental French kiss I gave Sammy Finelman behind the
bleachers during third period. Pe You can imagine that by

(47:07):
June I was more than ready to stretch my legs
and venture out, my first real excursion since April, before
Sammy gave me as rather substantial cooties after checking in
on Mage. That's my grandmother, by the way. She watches
me in the summer while my parents do the nine
to five deal, which proved to be unnecessary as the
combo of her cough medicine and her stories had sent

(47:29):
her into a deep slumber. On our overstuffed Davenport, I
headed out the front door so card bike rain. I
wheeled up to Roccos, completely soaked but undaunted to see
if what I'd been told by my eighth grade cabal
was actually true. And then I saw it. It practically

(47:51):
glowed neon hot as I threw down my kickstand and
dragged my soggy bottom from the seat of my bike.
Now my short's hanging heavy from the quarters in my pott,
coupled with the drenching rain that just wouldn't give me
a break. I stood under the rafters of the covered
porch that surrounded Rocos. Before I get to the juicy bits,
let me get some basics about the game out of

(48:12):
the way. The cabinet was called Aphiukis and it was
supposedly some unholy combination of space invaders and a tarot deck. Also,
it didn't display any manufacturing info. No Williams, no Bally Midway,
no Namco, no nothing. While that was odd enough, the
rumors from the underground game zines in schoolyards scuttle but

(48:35):
painted this thing out to be some sort of government
sponsored training device created to determine who among the world's
citizens would be the best recruited to fight some sort
of evil alien invasion. But come on, that's just the
jazz you throw on something to get quarters in the slots.
In truth, I suspected this was merely a new game

(48:56):
being tested anonymously by one of the big boys, who
left their name off in case the game was a
steaming pile. In an act of willpower I can't believe
I could perform. I walked past that machine, its cabinet
decorated with a vinyl silk screened image of a Victorian seance,
all Ouiji boards and crystal balls. But the image being

(49:17):
revealed by the psychic was of an alien firing a
flintlock laser gun, and a mummy of all things loomed
in the background. I chuckled at that one as I
opened the screen door, flapping weakly in the light breeze
kicked up by the rainstorm, a storm that now made
the air ripe with the barf inducing scent of displaced earthworms. Yo, Rocko.

(49:38):
I came to check out the new game. My man
no answer. Maybe he stepped out for lunch or something.
I mean, this isn't the town where you need to
lock anything up. Everyone is everyone's shirt tail relative, and
no one would touch a thing. The honor system is
alive and well here. Speaking of which, I grabbed one
of those fruit pies the superheroes are hawkin' in the

(50:00):
comic books, and a root beer, chucked some random coins
on the counter, and strolled back to that most holy
of holy grails. I took a moist quarter from my
pocket and I let the quarter slot take it away.
I heard it land in the machine's cash box, and
it sounds as if I'm the first one to actually
play aphiuchis damn it? I forgot to check out the

(50:21):
attract screen. Oh well, you know, the drill black screen,
blocky white text, and the barest whisper of a story
to fire our imaginations as we stare into the old
cathode ray tube, and this one was a doozy. As
far as I can recall, it went like this. In
eighteen ninety nine, on the eve of a new century,

(50:44):
a group of friends gather at the Victorian mansion of
Edgar Winchell, Iron Magnate, and Devotee to the paranormal. As
the clock struck midnight, Edgar and his guests discovered through
divination that means using magic to see crap. Okay, that
last bit was me in case anyone reading this doesn't
know what that ten dollars word is. Anyway, the story continued.

(51:05):
Discovered through divination that there was a hidden sign of
the zodiac Aphiuchus, the thirteenth sign. At that point, a
zodiac wheel flashed on the screen. The graphics were impressive too.
This may be a blast after all. The story started
up again as the screen faded to black, but their

(51:26):
findings were a two way street, and those that lived
in the mystery constellation discovered us that night as well.
White light pulsed as the speakers crackled forth their best
approximation of thunder. Okay, I admit it, I jumped when
that business end of the screen showed an image of
what I assumed to be Edgar looking in his crystal ball. Man,

(51:48):
these graphics again, you get my undying adoration, whoever you
are that made this thing. Suddenly, an alien hand exploded
from the crystal ball and grabbed Edgar's face as the
speakers unleashed an approximation of a hum and scream. Now
that I had seen before or heard would be more accurate.
I guess Wizard of War had a speech synthesizer and

(52:08):
that game was like two years old already. Next image
was of his guests surrounding a sarcophagus, like right out
of ancient Egypt and stuff. Then the scene changed to
a rendition of the guests unwrapping a mummy. I don't
know what's going on, but it's definitely rad. The screen
goes black again and the speakers come alive. We must

(52:30):
free him. Our blood is the way animated blood drops
hit the black background as the speakers play a sample
of a rainstorm. I'm calling it. This is the game
of the year, maybe the entire decade, and I haven't
even actually played it yet. A face formed pixel by
pixel from the darkness. It was like the face of
an angel, but metallic. Its eyes were hidden behind two

(52:54):
red glass domes, and a single metallic horn jutted forth
from the helmet that covered nearly its entire head. The
closest I could tell you to imagine would be the
jet Jaguar robot from Godzilla versus Megalon that played on
WWR every Thanksgiving, but the face was more like a
robot human wearing a fancy motorcycle helmet rather than a
sleep robot like old Jolt and Jet. The background began

(53:18):
pulsing black blue, red white, black blue, red white as
the speakers crackled hension Cyborgothello Pharaoh, Ace blasted the cabinet.
Then this insane theme played, and although the words sounded garbled,
I believe it went like this, ancient hero from the sky,

(53:39):
do your best, give it a try. Your destiny is here.
Arise and bring fear to the devil from beyond space.
Cyborgothello Pharaoh Ace? What the fudge? Then it all went
black again. I took a bite of fruit pie, resulting
in a perfectly square piece of goop covered apple to

(54:00):
fall on the cabinet. The sugary mess caramelized as it
hit just left of the joystick I hope this thing
doesn't ignite before I get to play. It was at
that point that I grabbed the joystick and readied myself
for the game to get underway. A representation of our
cyborg hero appeared on screen as various aliens, mostly based
on marine life, began forming a phalanx that steadily descended

(54:23):
down the screen space invaders with a twist. Very very cool, indeed,
But then everything was flipped upside down. The aliens broke
ranks and began marching around othello as The game then
appeared to be a Robotron twenty eighty four clone, which
is a good thing because that was one of the
best games out this year. First thing I noticed is

(54:45):
that the controls would take a bit to get used to.
You see, in Robatron, the left joystick controls movement, while
the right controls the direction you fire. Here there was
a more standard setup joystick to move, button to fire,
and your lasers went in in whatever direction you faced
a few alien casualties in and it actually felt intuitive.

(55:05):
So far, so good. I honestly have no idea how
long I played on that quarter, long enough for the
rain to stop and start again, long enough to finish
that fruit pie, and long enough for the sun to
begin to set. At some point I thought it was
mega weird that Roco never came back, But a new
wave of attackers pushed that and all other thoughts from

(55:28):
my mind. Only this war mattered. I played through the night.
I couldn't stop, not during the foggy morning or the
endlessly rainy afternoon. Then the sun was going down again.
In a brief flash of clear thinking, I wondered again
about Rocko and why had no one come looking for
me when I hadn't returned home. Then the next wave

(55:48):
came Sequence seventeen six six' Five does this game have
an end or at least some sort of kill? SCREEN
i was closer to getting my answer THAN i Thought
whence eighteen six sixty six was just about to. Begin
when the screen exploded in pixel, VOMIT i THINK i
killed the. Game that's WHEN i got that sharp pain

(56:10):
in my. PALM i removed my hand from the joystick
and it came loose with a long shuck. Sound my
hand was, bleeding AND i looked at the joystick just
in time to see a needle slip back inside the
black ball atop the. CONTROLS a BALL i had just
noticed was decorated with a candy apple red upside down.
Pentagram those things were all over the, news parents concerned

(56:34):
a board game was making their children Into satan's, servants
crapple through and through. ANYWAY i couldn't possibly have played
that game that. Long maybe that's why no one's name
was on. It maybe it makes kids hallucinate or something
that would definitely require more play testing to keep mothers
Of america from having a collected. CONNIPTION i looked into the,

(56:55):
screen but it had gone. Black that's WHEN i Saw
rocko walking up a behind. Me it had probably only
been like five minutes after. All rocco looked confused maybe
or was it? Sad, ANYHOW i turned to face, him
but he looked, strange like an image OFF tv filled with. Static, Darcy,

(57:15):
DARCY i can barely see. You rocco reached forth a
static filled hand and it went right through my, shoulder
Causing rocco to explode in a shower of. Pixels, okay
now this game is making me. Psycho the speakers shook
me from my. Shock should all.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Acquaintance be forgot and never brought to? Mind should all
the acquaintance be, forgot and all lang sign Happy New.
YEAR'S i guess it was then THAT i realized that
when the song, ended a sample of church bells had,

(57:54):
Started and as the sound slowly faded in the, speakers
the sound of bells grew louder and louder behind. Me
but there wasn't a church with bells like that in this,
county or the next one over for that. MATTER i turned,
around and that's when someone grabbed me and dragged me.
Back and while you'd Think i'd collide with the, CABINET i.

(58:16):
DIDN'T i, did, however find myself lying in all hallway of.
Sorts the hall was comprised of a fleshy living, material
with circuit, boards, tubes, wires and other electronic business connected to.
IT i walked on AND i reached a pair of
thick organic curtains that parted SO i could stroll, through,
which to be, honest was ALL i could. DO i

(58:37):
stepped forward and found myself on a, small rocky, planet
maybe the size of a couple of houses smushed. Together
the sky was a brilliant combination of multicolored, stars blinking
Like christmas tree lights adrift in a puddle of cotton candy,
puke all swirling primary colors punctuated by spots of inky
black outer. Space SOMEHOW i could still, breathe AND i

(59:00):
stayed on the planet AS i, walked so gravity was
some sort of thing. HERE i walked on and came
to a large, rock on top of which sat Cyborg
Othello Pharaoh, ace strumming an electric guitar which he had
plugged into himself via a port near his left. Shoulder
the sound seemed to be amplified and spread by his.
Helmet smoke swirled around his head as he played a

(59:22):
really rad, solo all arpeggios and finger. Gymnastics AS i
came around to the front of, HIM i noticed a
large hand rolled cigarette dangling from his metallic lips a grody.
Habit but, Hey Darcy reid isn't one to tell THE
i don't know quite what he, is but he was
older and probably, dangerous and, HEY i told you my last.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
Name what do you? Know he finished his, solo knocked
a huge ash from his cancer, stick and looked at
me with those red plastic bug eyes of. His hey,
Kid i'm Cyborg Othello Pharaoh. ACE i finished his sentence
with a TONE i hoped seemed confident and not LIKE
i was going, insane WHICH i was now positive had

(01:00:05):
happened in no uncertain. Terms, yep and, You I'm darcy
read Of. Earth he chuckled lightly and flicked his cigarette, away,
which contrary to, logic drifted. Skyward it floated farther and farther,
away before its cherry end became a distant red. Star,

(01:00:26):
So Darcy reid Of, earth you like video? Games, YEAH i.
DO i particularly enjoyed, yours minus some of the kind
of gnarly. Hallucinations. Hallucinations, yeah it seemed LIKE i came
unstuck in. Time oh that's because you. Did where are

(01:00:48):
you from, Again well it's nineteen eighty two. Currently he
seemed to contemplate that for a. Minute. HMMM i Died,
saturday the twenty sixth Of april nineteen eighty, six And
pripy it. Died, Yeah i'm a ghost or will. Be
time kind of means, nothing and when you are clued into,

(01:01:10):
that everything becomes one long. Day, look let me break
it down for. You The unicorn, unit the thing that
makes me, change was sent To earth centuries ago in
order to be a preventive method against The. Dagonites that's
those fishy fellows you battled in the game, anyway twenty
six eighty SIX, bc The dagonites showed their faces in Ancient.

(01:01:31):
EGYPT i melded with a, pharaoh defeated the, invasion then
went into slumber Until Edgar's Social club woke me up
when they Noticed, afiuchus home to The dagonites And Professor,
fliked creator of The unicorn. UNIT i managed to meld
with the young Socialite Mildred douchamp and defeated The New
Year's eve invasion of eighteen ninety. Nine this is all

(01:01:54):
a bit. MUCH i just wanted to play a new
game and eat some empty. Calories, Dude, well it gets
more much from here. On i'm. Afraid, okay just pull
the bandage. Off the next invasion happened in your future
in nineteen eighty. Six dagonites decided that they needed to
distract the world and me from their latest invasion attempt

(01:02:16):
with some kind of, disaster and they blew up a
reactor in The. UKRAINE i melded with a secretary from
The stenopool AND i. Lost you, lost, YEP i. Lost
The dagonites infiltrated The russian, government and the whole thing
was chalked up to. Negligence and then the professor had
a great, idea a contest of sorts to determine who

(01:02:38):
could wield the unit successfully sent back in time through an,
unstable virtually unusable portal to prevent what happens in nineteen eighty,
Six Aphiucus afiucus a modern sword in the, stone and you.
Won so what happens, next that's up to. You this
is all a bit heavy for a twelve year old. Girl,

(01:03:01):
ACTUALLY i believe that's. Crap you. DO i do a,
female not a, child not yet a. Woman there's a
lot of powerful angry energy. There, well you may be,
Right but on the other, HAND i just want to
eat junk food and play video. Games fair, Enough Darcy
reid Of, earth just let me think on. IT i

(01:03:24):
need my happy, Place i'd wager couldn't. HURT i closed
my eyes. Tight WHEN i opened, THEM i was in my,
bedroom lying in bed with a well Read Star wars
comic on my. CHEST i rolled over and Discovered i'd
spilled an entire package Of reese's pieces on my. BED i,
shrugged popped a few of the candies in my mouth

(01:03:46):
and went to turn on my. Atari it was then
THAT i saw my hand was encased in a kind
of shiny black leather. Material oh. Right the walls of
my room, collapsed AND i remembered WHERE i was writ
lie The dagonite. Homeworld i'd gone to my happy place
again to help ground myself for the upcoming. Fight it

(01:04:08):
always seemed to help keep my mind clear in. BATTLE
i touched a nearby invisible button on my, helmet and
my words blasted, forth amplified and made to sound like
the voice of an angry. GOD i have arisen to
bring fear to the devil from beyond. Space The dagonites
before me trembled a bit at, that but drew their
weapons all the. SAME i am Cyborg Othello Pharaoh. Ace

(01:04:42):
ghost story by a N. OMINUS i remember it as
if it were. YESTERDAY i was. YOUNG i was young
enough to taste the, adventure but old enough to know.
Better i'm still not sure how this was real to
my which happened and was seen to be the fanciful

(01:05:02):
imagination of being. Young one thing is for, CERTAIN i
have not forgotten what happened that, night AND i am
CERTAIN i never. Will it was, fall the leaves were
just starting to, turn the days were still, warm and
the nights were getting. Cooler The County fair had been

(01:05:23):
in full swing and was the last night it was.
OPEN i was there because a friend had talked me into,
going AND i wanted to sample some kettle corn and caramel. Apples.
THERE i was waiting in line for the popcorn when
we saw. Him he was a boy about my age
and my. Size he looked like any other boy, there

(01:05:43):
except his clothes were. Funny he looked like he was
dressed up in old time movie. Clothes he was looking at.
Us my friend nudged me and nodded in his. Direction
we exchanged looks and began to walk toward. Him as
we began to, walk to my, surprise so did he

(01:06:04):
directly for, us without looking. Away when we were within speaking,
DISTANCE i nodded and said. Hey he nodded back and said.
Hello my name Is. Jonathan i'm from, here but have
been elsewhere for a. WHILE i don't know anyone here.
NOW i told him he could go with us if
he wanted. To he. Nodded we spent the next couple

(01:06:27):
of hours riding the roller, coaster the ferris, wheel and the,
tiltawhirl after WHICH i THOUGHT i might, hurl BUT i
managed to keep things. Together we had found a bench to.
Sit jonathan and my friend were working on some red
vines when he asked if we liked scary. Things we
looked at each other and said of, course as if

(01:06:48):
we would reply any other. Way he asked if we
knew where the house was down On Oak. Street he
said he knew the house that was spooky down. THERE
i was, hesitant but after some encouragement From, jack we
were soon headed out the gates from the fair into the.

(01:07:09):
Night as we made our way down through some neighborhood,
streets it really began to cool off and there was
definitely a chill in the. AIR a breeze was picking,
up and a few leaves were blowing in between our
feet as we. Walked we were beginning to get far
enough away from the fair now THAT i began to
become uncomfortable with the, distance even THOUGH i knew where we.

(01:07:33):
Were it was just then when he said we're. Here
this had startled me AS i realized we had all
been walking in. SILENCE a glance From jack told me
he was no more at ease THAN i. WAS i
had this strange feeling of, foreboding and in, RETROSPECT i
know now that my survival instinct was trying to warn

(01:07:56):
me AS i looked at. Him looking up at, it
the house was. HUGE i can't BELIEVE i had never
noticed it. Before it was a, sprawling three story mansion
with what appeared to have been a large yard all around.
It it seemed to be well, kept but everything about
it repelled. ME i looked At jack and the other.

(01:08:19):
Boy jack was looking around. Nervously the, boy though he
had a radiant smile on his, FACE i noted he
was actually breathing. HARD i asked him if he was all.
Right he snapped his head towards me, instantly while taking
a step toward. Me, yes he, said then slowly retreated

(01:08:41):
one step back. Again what do you, think he. Asked
jack was barely audible when he, ANSWERED i don't think
we should go. In if that's what you, mean of
course we should go. IN i know who lives. Here
they aren't there, yet he. SAID i agreed With jack
and voiced my concern with getting into. Trouble there will

(01:09:04):
be no Trouble let's just, go the boy, said and
with that he began to walk up the walkway to
the front. DOOR i thought the walk to that front
door was the longest twenty five feet of my. Life
every step forward seemed to get, colder the darkness enveloped,
us and the air seemed to become. Still the REPULSION

(01:09:25):
i felt going forward was immense and. PROGRESSIVE i didn't
know WHY i felt like. THIS i didn't want to seem,
scared BUT i, was AND i didn't know, why which
made me. Confused on top of the, ANXIETY i seemed
to be becoming overwhelmed. WITH i was following the new
friend of ours And. Jack the boy seemed to be

(01:09:46):
bursting with enthusiasm and excitement As jack AND i trudged.
Along as we approached the steps, UP i took hold
of the rail and realized my palms were sweating. PROFUSELY
i became aware of my own labor. BREATHING i looked To,
jack who mouthed no at. Me as we were almost
to the top step on the. Porch my mouth was

(01:10:09):
dry AS i thought of a hundred reasons not to
open the large front, door but couldn't utter a single.
Word the boy stood in front of the door and
turned to look at. Me he simultaneously reached for the
knob and turned. IT i yelled no as he, did
but to no avail as we heard the click and
the door began to swing. Open the door creaked and

(01:10:36):
groaned in a way that sounded guttural as he swung
it open. WIDE i could see inside into the middle
of the, room but the darkness swallowed the perimeter. Beyond come,
in was all he said as he boldly stepped in
without looking, back without a, Word jack AND i followed him.

(01:10:56):
In the smell was overwhelming as we sped. Inside it smelled, musty,
earthy and almost, rotten like a trunk that had been
closed for. YEARS i thought the windows looked broken out in,
places but there was no air moving through the. House.
NOW i don't remember the door, shutting BUT i felt

(01:11:18):
the uncontrollable urge to, run AND i backed right into
the shut. Door, jack in a, panic grabbed the handle
and wrenched on, it but it didn't. Budge he pulled
with increased, fervor AND i began to hit the door
with my closed fist and my hands began to. TINGLE
i swung around to see the boy standing looking at us.

(01:11:41):
EXPRESSIONLESS a smile began to creep into the corners of his.
Mouth this twistedly sick look he began to have made
the terror well up even. More AS i began to
scream at. Him he suddenly turned and ran into the,
darkness laughing. MANIACALLY i followed a few steps after, him,

(01:12:04):
instinctively UNTIL i realized that, giggling he ran down the.
Stairs down the stairs seemed to be even blacker than
the darkness that already left navigating nearly. IMPOSSIBLE i turned
to look At, jack who was. GONE i cried out
in fear and frustration at our. Stupidity why would you

(01:12:25):
ever go somewhere with someone you don't? Know yet HERE i.
Am jack stepped forward into my field of vision and
grabbed my. Arm he began to Sob what's going? On
where did he? Go why is this place so? Scary
what's going? ON i pulled him in and put my
arm around his. Shoulder look at, Me we are going

(01:12:48):
to get out of, HERE i, said in as calm
of a voice AS i could. MUSTER i looked to
the side to a window and ran to. IT i
ripped the floor length velvet curtains over and gasped to
see a. WINDOW i looked next to me to see
a small table and picked it up and banged it
on the. GLASS i wasn't sure what was going on,

(01:13:11):
yet BUT i wasn't fully committed to breaking out a
window Because i'm scared this could be a prank done
on poor. Taste fear overwhelmed my rational thoughts AND i swung.
It it didn't, budge AND i felt as THOUGH i
were hitting. STONE i was even more scared at this abnormal.
RESPONSE i backed up one step and swung as hard

(01:13:33):
AS i could to have the table splinter, apart with
pieces smashing against the, walls, floor and into my. HEAD
i felt the point of impact to reveal on my
head a spot of. Blood on my, hand the window appeared.
Unblemished AS i frantically turned to See jack crumple into
a pile on the, floor, CRYING i want to go.

(01:13:55):
HOME i grabbed his collar and pulled him to his.
FEET i went into the first open DOOR i saw
aside from the. Staircase that boy must be in on.
THIS i don't know why you would bring us, here
but you can be sure it's not. GOOD i whispered
AS i Pulled jack, along who was now regaining his.
Composure the doorway opened into a large. Room it appeared

(01:14:18):
to be a, library as books lined the walls to
high windows which must have been three stories. Tall as
there were balconies with ladders circumnavigating the. ROOM i pulled
us to one, side as it seemed to offer a
mirage of protection versus being in the room. CENTER i
put a hand against the shelf and looked at the.
Books most of the titles were in LANGUAGES i didn't even,

(01:14:41):
recognize some with what appeared to be. Symbols only breathing
hard and looking around for the next, MOVE i noticed
there were mounted heads of animals surrounding the. Room they
were high above the books on the. Walls, deer, bear.
Cougar they did not have content looks on their, faces

(01:15:02):
rather anger or. FEAR i looked to the next and
found the animal to be beyond. DESCRIPTION i stared at
its cavorted face and studied it for a. Moment it
was unknown to. ME i glanced ahead and found another unrecognizable.
Head upon closer, LOOK i gasped and nearly threw. Up

(01:15:23):
it was the head of what looked to be a,
person but it had hair all over its. Face its
simian likeness was, unmistakable yet it seemed more. Human jack
was gasping at, me looking wildly in the DIRECTION i
had been, staring yelling what is? It he pulled at
me to follow, him AND i stumbled. Along we came

(01:15:46):
to a hallway with opposing. Doors at the far end
was a door with windows on either. Side long velvet
curtains hung parted in the, middle showing the moonlight peeking.
Through we took pensive steps towards the first AND i
reached out to turn the. KNOB i cautiously edged the
door open and peeked. Inside it was too dark to

(01:16:07):
make anything out, visually BUT i heard. Sounds it sounded
like something some kind of, animal was stepping, in something
wet and sludgel. Like grunting and labored breaths intermixed with
ripping sounds came from somewhere within the. ROOM a barely
audible whimper was immediately stopped by a low. Growl it

(01:16:30):
was Then jack stepped, back and a squeak of the
floorboard suddenly alerted whatever was in. There there was a
rustling of something moving toward, us AND i knew beyond
any doubt THAT i did not want to know what
was making that. NOISE i was able to get us
out and slam the door before the thing could get.
There jack was whispering how badly he wanted to, leave

(01:16:52):
and clutching my arm in a near frantic. MANNER i
was unsure if we should look in any more rooms
or go try to escape from one of the windows
at the end of the. Hall AS i was gathering my,
WITS i heard another. MOAN i thought it might have
been my, imagination But jack's face registered that he had
heard it as. Well was that the other? Boy he

(01:17:15):
asked in a. WHISPER i don't, KNOW i, replied as
my voice. BROKE i had, never and have not, since
known fear such as. This sweat dripped off my, nose
running down my neck and. BACK i was shaking and
could barely. SPEAK i had thrown up again after shutting that.
Door it just hadn't registered until. NOW i wiped at my,

(01:17:38):
face and it was APPARENT i had not been aware
enough to make any attempt to project it away from my.
BODY i had a sudden recall THAT i had my
cell phone funny HOW i had argued HOW i wanted
and needed one with my parents and used the safety.
Reason how IRONIC i thought AS i frantically dug it
from my. Pocket no, service AS i, thought my spirit

(01:18:03):
couldn't drop. Farther the date under the time seemed to
be spinning like a. DIAL i had no idea what had,
happened but the realization it was broken almost made me.
Cry if we made it out of, there my parents
would kill me for breaking. IT i was truly terrified
as the tears began to run down my. CHEEKS i

(01:18:25):
was breathing fast and. Hard my head was spinning LIKE
i may pass. Out jack's sudden grip on my arm
again brought my attention back to. Reality we must have
been moving the last few. Moments as we were standing
in front of the next, door which unfortunately was, open
there was a shaft of moonlight coming from the window

(01:18:47):
across the, room and it fell on two of the,
dirtiest foulest DOGS i had ever. Seen my mouth fell
open in utter shock at the putrescence of. Them they
seemed to have what looked like some rotting skin in.
Places one looked like it was partially disemboweled and something

(01:19:08):
drug on the floor a short distance behind. It the
first one lowered his head with a, growl and saliva
or something like it dripped from the large. Fangs it
momentarily glistened in the little light. Present the smell coming
from them was. Nauseating sickly, sweet rotting stench with sulfuresque

(01:19:29):
tones burned my nose AS i immediately recoiled from sight and.
Smell the closer, animal if you could call it, that
began to, growl although the sound seemed to emanate from
the hole in its. SIDE i Pushed jack ahead of
me as panic again rose in me like a, wave
commanding me to. Run in spite of the pathetic creature's aberrant,

(01:19:50):
appearance they could move, quickly their claws dug to gain
purchase on the old, floor shredding with each foot. Strike
there were snarling jaws, snapping making saliva fling and spray
in the. Moonlight our complete terror must have been adrenaline fueled,
enough as they were nearly to the end of the
hall BEFORE i realized. It there was a perpendicular hall

(01:20:14):
at the end by the, windows and As jack was
slowing to make a, TURN i heard the hounds had
stopped or. SLOWED i turned to look and they had
stopped twenty feet back and were crouching down with tails
tucked between their, legs, whining and were turning back as
though they were afraid of. SOMETHING i called To jack

(01:20:37):
as quietly as possible to get his attention without drawing
further alert to our. Presence we were stopped by the,
windows AND i looked. Out my parents were walking down the.
Street my heart soared AS i hit the, window screaming
their names, completely throwing caution to the. Wind they couldn't,
hear and kept, going as there was no way for

(01:21:00):
them to KNOW i was. HERE i was supposed to
be at the. Fair how SORRY i was THAT i
hadn't done AS i had. SAID i was going to
die in this. HOUSE i didn't know what this place,
was but it was so much worse than ANYTHING i
had conjured up as a haunted house in my. HEAD
i would have given anything to be with my parents right, now,

(01:21:22):
safe not here in this terrible, place whatever this. WAS
i looked down the hall and at the far end
was what looked like an old servants, staircase narrow and,
steep going down wanting to go anywhere but. DOWN i
looked the other way and saw a door at the
far end and doors on opposing sides down the. Hall

(01:21:44):
more doors made fear well up inside me. Again the
hair began to stand up on my. Neck there was
a faint crying sound that was slowly growing. Louder was
it a, child a? Woman was it the? BOY i couldn't,
Tell but as it grew louder and, louder it became more.

(01:22:05):
Distorted it was a mixture of crying that was morphing
from a cry to, laughter with choking. INTERMIXED i had
never heard a sound like that, before and IF i
never do, again it would be a. Blessing my fear
was already overcoming, me and this wretched cacophony was more
THAN i could. TAKE i began to Pull jack to follow,

(01:22:26):
me and we began to. Run we sprinted into the
hallway blindly in. TERROR i frantically grabbed at door knobs
to open, one any one of, them in hopes to
get refuge from this. Horror the light was so LOW
i could barely make out the shapes of the. Doors
the illumination was, minimal and the color of the walls
and doors appeared to be various shades of. BLACK i

(01:22:50):
scraped and patted around WHAT i thought was a, door
and scrambled along AS i jabbed and. Reached AS i,
SEARCHED i felt my finger tip catch on something sharp
and my my skin hooked on to whatever nail or splinter.
PROTRUDED i felt the warm fluid spread and drip AS
i felt the casing for the, KNOB i felt my

(01:23:11):
fingernail pull off. Entirely in my nearly crazed search for
a way, out the dark hall seemed to lighten. Slightly
the sound was still, screeching, crying, laughter constantly escalating to
the POINT i thought my ears might. BURST i Felt
jack hitting at me and looked where he was. Staring
coming down the hall was SOMETHING i think no mortal

(01:23:33):
man was meant to. See it was distorted and, terrible
flowing with a jerking. Quality, SIMULTANEOUSLY i was suddenly captivated
at the indescribable Sight approaching it was, sinister, abhorrent and.
MESMERIZING i knew if it reached, us all was. Lost

(01:23:55):
my hand found the knob that was freezing. COLD i
turned it as we fell, back with the door or
OPENING i turned quickly to survey and found we were
trapped in a. Closet in a completely reactionary, MEASURE i
slammed the door just as the specter reached. Us it
roared with an intensity that seemed. Impossible it slammed into

(01:24:16):
the door with such violence that shards of, wood dust
and material blew out of the, wall spraying down on.
Us for an unknown but seemingly endless, time the torrent
of anger and pure rage continued to pound upon the,
door AND i do not know how it did not breach.
It at some point it, stopped if, possible the sudden

(01:24:39):
silence was even more. Deafening jack continued to lay on
the floor next to me AS i lay curled in
the fetal. Position after an indeterminate amount of, TIME i
began to notice a light coming from under the. DOOR
i thought it looked like. SUNLIGHT i moved over and
tried to peer. UNDER i could see what looked like

(01:25:04):
daylight on the old red. CARPET i looked and, listened
and could perceive nothing outside the. DOOR i reached up
and turned the knob with a creak that was the
defining noise of every haunted house. Ever the door, opened
the hallway was lit with the earliest rays of the

(01:25:25):
beautiful morning. Sun it was such a welcome sight to
the soul sucking pitch black of the previous. Night AS
i took in the, sunshine movement in the hall caught
my attention AND i recoiled. Back the sunlight was just
peeking over the horizon through the, windows leaving shadows in
between each. One the far end of the hallway was

(01:25:48):
bathed in. Darkness to the door and, beyond the terrible
apparition was. Hovering just at this boundary of light and.
Dark it was almost too much for my, mind AND
i THOUGHT i might pass. Out it screamed and raged
against this, boundary seething and pacing back and. Forth it
seemed to strain with all its, will until the last

(01:26:11):
bit of darkness was abolished with the wonderful. Sunlight there
was an implosion of sound with some sort of vapor or,
smoke and when it dissipated there was a single sheet
with two eye holes cut, out perched at the end
of the hall where it had. Been it seemed almost,
comical a cruel and mocking reminder that it was not,

(01:26:34):
gone not. Truly we eventually came to the realization that
we were able to escape the house only after we
passed by the classic. GHOST i felt taunted and bullied by.
IT i wanted to knock it, over but was so
repelled by IT i couldn't bring myself to touch. IT
i didn't and don't know what was under the. Sheet

(01:26:57):
we made our way through the. House there was no.
Resistance windows were broken, out exterior doors left open absent
in some. Places as we exited the, house we saw
a passing police car and waved it. Down the officer
listened to both of, us trying to relay the, story
and he became suddenly very excited when he heard our.

(01:27:17):
Names we fell silent as he told us that we
had been reported missing six days ago and the entire
town had been searching for. Us come to find out
the authorities had actually presumed us. Dead my parents were
out looking for me WHEN i had seen. Them my

(01:27:37):
head beginning to spin was the last THING i remember that.
Day i'm not sure how many people believed, us if.
Anyone jack AND i drifted apart AS i think both
of us couldn't bear the memories of that. Night although
THANKFULLY i have never had another experience such as, THIS

(01:27:57):
i will never forget that ghost stories aren't always. Fun
Old jerry BY Rt. Reynard great another broken, Blade, god

(01:28:21):
damn saws. All This japanese piece of shit just isn't
built for hard. Work or is It? CHINESE i don't,
know it's one of Those oriental. COUNTRIES i, mean if
you're using it in an air, condition perfectly ventilated workshop
a month after you bought, it and all your cutting
is five eighth inch, plywood it'll work. Great BUT i

(01:28:43):
swear the moment you take it outside or it gets
dirty or what you're cutting is a little, messy you
spend more time on saw repair than you do actually. Sawing,
hmm Maybe i'm being too hard on. It i'm pretty
sure that bone isn't something the saw was designed to. Cut.
Now fuck that this thing is designed to cut through

(01:29:04):
aluminum bone shouldn't be a. PROBLEM i should have just
paid a little extra for An american made.

Speaker 2 (01:29:10):
One.

Speaker 1 (01:29:10):
Fucker, fine, there new, blade you happy? Saw can we
please finish this before? SUNRISE i still have a hole to. Dig, Relax, jerry,
breathe just a little bit more work and you'll never
have to see this kid's smug little fucking face. Again
at least he'll never egg your house again On. HALLOWEEN

(01:29:31):
i bet this was the little shit who's been doing
it every year without. Fail Each November first is spent
cleaning rotting egg off of my, stucco or toilet paper
out of my, tree or a smashed pumpkin off of my.
PORCH i have been vowing for years to catch the
fuck face who kept doing, it AND i, did DIDN'T
I you little. Bastard you thought that you could get

(01:29:53):
away with it again this. Year. Huh you, thought, Well
i'm just gonna pick on Old, jerry just minding his own.
Business you didn't count on the fact THAT i was
watching this, year THAT i saw your little devil costume
throwing that egg with your Friend's dracula zombie and skeleton
cheering you, on THAT i would recognize your stupid little
costume when you walked up to my door alone asking for.

(01:30:15):
Candy kind of a bonehead move when you think about.
It everyone knows that when you're trick or, treating you
walk up to the, door, knock ask for, candy get,
candy and go on to the next. House it's called
trick or treating for a. Reason you know it's in the.
Disjunctive you do one or the, other not. Both that

(01:30:37):
would be trick and. Treating more, on even if it
wasn't just plain. Illogical if you're going to do, both
you should do the trick after you've already gotten the.
Candy Dull and you're never supposed to go into the person's,
house particularly when you don't know, them particularly if you've

(01:30:57):
already egged the, house because you're a cocks fucking asshole
kid with no sense of, decency particularly when you've been
fucking with Old jerry for years. Already you weren't the
sharpest crayon in the, box were, you? Chief oh, Shit,
see that's exactly What i'm talking. About you'd think a
saw could cut through some viscera without getting all jammed,

(01:31:20):
up but, No, ugh blood's all over the. Place, now,
fuck it's in my GODDAMN i hold on this shit
stings even in. Death you're giving me. Crap all, right it's.
SETTLED i need a new. Saw when this is all,
Over i'm gonna dump this fucker in the hole with, You.
Bud you, know, HONESTLY i wasn't expecting The welcome to

(01:31:44):
My Haunted house line to. Work most kids probably would
have politely declined it was the obvious. Play, ADMITTEDLY i
hadn't expected you to have the balls to actually walk
up to my. HOUSE i didn't have the time to
think of a really creative way to lure you. IN
i was in the middle of cursing myself for my
unpreparedness when you said, thanks mister and waltz through my

(01:32:08):
front door like you owned the fucking. Place you fell
for my ruse hook line and, sinker complete with stupid
smile across your, chubby idiot. FACE i had such a
hard time restraining my joy AS i marched you through
the house towards the. KITCHEN i probably could have done
without that snide comment you made about how my home

(01:32:30):
looked more like a haunted crack. House, YEAH i get.
IT i live by myself AND i wasn't expecting. Guests
it's as clean AS i mind. It but it probably
couldn't hurt to dust and mop more. Regularly now That
i'm reflecting on, it the condition of my house probably
helped sell the half baked scheme in the first. Place
but who the fuck are you? Anyway you're just some idiot.

(01:32:52):
Kid what the hell do you know about interior. Decoration
you probably have a fucking video game poster on the
wall in your. Room, classless fucking. Asshole and the comment
about the insects on the dishes in the kitchen. Sink
apparently you're too good to eat. BUGS i, mean it's
food that walks right up to. You you'll eat whatever

(01:33:14):
the hell nug it, is but if it has a
thorax all of a, sudden it's too gross for, you bourgeois.
BITCH i swear some people have no. Vision but you
know WHAT i. REGRET i regret not having a video
camera set up to capture your face when you turned
to me and said this is a pretty lame haunted.

(01:33:34):
House you were expecting to see me disappointed at the bad.
REVIEW i could see it in your, eyes in your
shit eating. Grin you wanted to ruin my night to
inflict psychic torment on who you thought was a, poor
earnest haunted house proprietor with your dissatisfied customer. ROUTINE i,

(01:33:57):
MEAN i know it was just a ploy to get
you in the, house BUT i was offering you a
free haunted house. Tour grottis as far as you, knew
it would cost you. Nothing despite, this nothing would have
given you more pleasure than to see Old jerry's feelings.
Hurt it's just sadistic when you think about. It you
relished the opportunity to be an asshole right up until

(01:34:19):
the MOMENT i cracked you in the forehead with the
hammer you never noticed me. Holding if we're being entirely,
HONEST i hit you too. HARD i wanted you to
know what was happening BEFORE i turned your lights. OUT
i wasn't going for a scream of terror or anything like,
that but IF i had my, druthers, no please, stop

(01:34:44):
would have been nice to hear you say before the.
End to be, fair blunt force head trauma is more
of an art than a, science and it's not LIKE
i do this very often to kids your age, Anyway
as was you dropped limp without a but ooh, boy
it was still pretty. Sweet i'm getting chills just thinking

(01:35:06):
about it. AGAIN i KNEW i had to hit you
again to make sure the deed was, done if only
to make sure you couldn't surprise me and get away
WHEN i turned my. Back i've been down this road
too many times to not know that one should never
underestimate the resiliency of the human. Body, AFTERWARDS i dragged
you over to the basement door and pushed you down the.

(01:35:26):
Stairs there was no way for you to somehow magically
escape from down. THERE i SUPPOSE i may have been
being too, Cautious but these are the kinds of lessons
experience teaches. YOU i suppose that's the difference between Old
jerry and other. PEOPLE i like, redundancies but my worries were.

(01:35:47):
Needless you landed at the bottom with a dull, flop
eyes open and, Dilated you were clearly. Dead your blood
droplets splattered all over my basement. Stairwell oh remind me
later to get to the pharmacy to pick up some
hydrogen peroxide to clean all this. Up then came step
two of my. PLAN i cut you up into little

(01:36:08):
pieces so THAT i could properly dispose of. YOU i,
mean of, COURSE i kept the tastiest parts of you
for dinner this, week but my refrigerator is only so.
Large eventually the rest of you'd start. Stinking eventually the
smell would draw. Notice best just to dump you in
a shallow grave and be done with. YOU i had

(01:36:30):
just been hoping that the. Disposal part of this process
hadn't been so. Taxing if only this saw would. COOPERATE i,
mean look at, Me i'm covered in your. Blood Old
jerry looks like he's been, well like he's been in
a basement cutting up a body all. Night, no, WELL

(01:36:52):
i thought it was. Funny being splattered with your blood
does make for a pretty Convincing halloween, costume at least
when all's said and. Done, kiddo you're actually pretty easy
to talk. To don't get me. WRONG i still think
you're a, Prick BUT i haven't had this much human
interaction in, months ever since that psychologist lady told me

(01:37:15):
to stop coming. By. Man, now that is a, story you.
See the court ordered me to see a shrink a
couple of times a, week but one week she forgot
to give me my. PRESCRIPTION i ran out over the,
weekend but her office didn't open Until. Monday SO i
did some researching to find where she lived and went

(01:37:38):
to her. House sh do you hear? SOMETHING i THINK
i just heard a knock on the front. Door hold,
on let me go. See. Hey wouldn't you know your Friend's,
dracula zombie and skeleton are. Here they look a little,

(01:37:58):
worried perhaps here to check on. You, Ah NOW i
see why you were so bold in coming up to my.
House this was all just some. Bit you must have
thought your friends had your back if anything went. Wrong
maybe you should have stuck with the plan and only
asked for. Candy who's the joke on, now? Bitch they

(01:38:21):
sure did take their time come in to your, rescue didn't,
They no doubt the product of an extended debate about
whether to go tell someone and risk getting in trouble
for tonight's. HIJIENS i really have to question your friend's
wisdom in approaching the same house you didn't come out.
Of you really picked some idiot. Friends, seriously what the

(01:38:41):
hell are they teaching you kids about the mechanics of
trick or treating these? Days LIKE i, said go up
to the, house get, candy, leave approach next, house. Repeat
none of this is rocket. Science BUT i suppose they
still are witnesses who can link you back to. Me
AND i really don't want the police sniffing around. Here

(01:39:04):
way too much for them to find woo. E they'd
bury Old jerry under the jail if they found half
the SHIT i have down. HERE a few too many
skeletons in the closet and in the crawl, space and
under the floorboards and in the. Backyard do you think
they'll fall for the same haunted? House rus you? DID i,

(01:39:26):
mean you did give me a great. Costume how's about?
It hass you in the mood for some? Company, yeah
well then we're. Agreed let me go get my. Hammer
oh fuck the goddamn. Saw how the hell AM i
going to cut up three more of you with this?

(01:39:48):
Thing careful what you? Wish By david. O'han penn reached
for the. Doorbell his finger hovered over the, button as

(01:40:08):
it had the last two times he tried to bring
himself to. Ring he sighed and jabbed the. Button ed's
face pressed against the glass of the nearest. Window pen
chuckled at the sight of the freckled bucktooth face smiling
excitedly at. Him the door, opened And pen was greeted
by a far less enthusiastic. Individual penn shifted. Uncomfortably he

(01:40:32):
didn't look like an Ex khan in his new jeans
and custom polo, shirt but he felt the same way
he did every time he was pulled in for a police.
Lineup ed's Mother janet held an, obese chocolate Point siamese
cat against her chest and stroked it like a movie
villain while she eyed the man on her. Doorstep janet
slipped her robe up over her shoulder and raised an.

(01:40:53):
Eyebrow You're ed's. Friend penn shifted the brown paper bag
into his left hand and extended. Right, yes, Ma'am I'm,
pen and you've been in a Few two would be my.
Guests she waved Him, Inside you're gonna let the other cats.
Out penn stepped inside and glanced around the restored. Brownstone

(01:41:13):
three tabbies lounged on the. FURNITURE A maine coon lifted
its head from the arm of the recliner to survey
a new arrival to its. Domain the cat was seemingly
unimpressed By pen and went back to. Sleep penn turned To.
Janet ed had told him his mom used to be
a famous, model but the horrible marriage and subsequent vodka
and valum based diet hid the. Fact Now janet looked

(01:41:37):
like she would be bumming smokes outside of seven. Eleven
penn felt a tinge of. Guilt he knew better than
anyone not to judge a person by their. Circumstances she
dumped The siamese onto the love seat and straightened her
pajamas before pulling her robe clothed and tying the belt
tightly around her slender. Waist don't you think it's weird
hanging out with a ten year old? Boy janet snapped

(01:42:01):
the elastic from her bun and let her brown hair
fall as she walked past him and into the. Kitchen
she grabbed a glass from the disk strainer and banged
it onto the. Countertop you're like, thirty after, All pen,
shrugged so are? You thanks for rubbing salt in that.
Wound janet poured orange juice into a glass and reached
for the pop off bottle atop the. Fridge you can

(01:42:23):
have something to drink if you, like lactose free, milk
sugar free kool, aid caffeine free. Tea we even have
that shitty soda that lacks all of the. Above i've
got a water bottle in the, truck but thanks cut the, Shit,
Pen janet sipped from the bottle before pouring a splash
into the. Juice the boy's allergic to. Everything no one

(01:42:44):
hangs out with him because they want, to the last
DATE i had was four years, ago And ed broke
out in hives because of the guy's. Cologne he has
to wear a dusk mask to walk through the living
room because of the cat, hair the, inhaler THE epi,
pen anxiety, meds and a legra for, sinuses seizures at the,
movies motion sickness at the, fair panic attacks at the.
Mall there's nothing you can do with. Him ed shouldn't

(01:43:06):
even go to the park or wherever it is that
he spends his. Time what do you really want with?
Him ed sneezed around the. Corner pen wasn't sure where
the boy, was but knew he was with an. Earshot
janet's eyes flicked toward the noise and back To, pen
calling her son a. Loser clearly wasn't outside of the.
Norm pen's fist, tightened crumpling the paper sack. Noisily health,

(01:43:29):
wise there's a lot of things wrong With. Ed everyone
else sees those conditions as things that make him. WEAK
i see them as the reasons he's got such a
big goddamn. Heart penn stepped closer To janet and took
the glass from the counter before she could drink. It
They're ed's, conditions but you're, right they do interfere with your.

(01:43:50):
Life you have to take the extra, precautions AND i
bet that's. Exhausting don't you patronize. Me i'm, not, HONESTLY
i can't imagine what you've had to sacrifice to protect.
Him but that doesn't change the fact That ed doesn't
get to be a. Kid penn chugged the screwdriver and
scowled at the. Aftertaste he cleared his. Throat WHAT i

(01:44:12):
want is to take him for the weekend so we
can experience a, sleepover watch cheesy horror, flicks play too
many video, games and eat a fuck ton of red
and green gummy worms with his, friend the way regular
kids get. Too and you can go to the spa
or the, mall or on a, date or at least
to a liquor store for some better. Vodka you're one

(01:44:33):
ballsy son of a. Bitch janet huffed and put her
hands on her. Hips thank you for, noticing but, uh
let's keep this. Professional janet's face slipped into a smile
for a brief, moment then the, serious judgmental glare. Returned
you want to know what's in it for, Me penn.
Shrugged ed's the only person that's ever seen anything good in.

(01:44:55):
ME i want to return the. FAVOR i want to
give him the experience he should be. Having and as
an extra, Bonus i'm giving you the weekend. Off he's
got School. Monday janet took the glass From pen and
jabbed the rim into his. Chest you have him home
by Seven sunday, night or you'll be the one with medical. Conditions,

(01:45:15):
Wooooo ed shouted excitedly from around the. Corner ed climbed
into the unmarked moving truck and clicked his seat. Belt
penn handed him the brown paper. BAG i don't think
your mom likes, me he, said to be, fair mom
doesn't get enough guests to know how to like people at.
All ed uncurled the lip of the. Bag what's this a? Present,

(01:45:40):
obviously presents don't usually come in brown grocery. Bags Pen
ed giggled and pulled out a black polo. Shirt, hey
it's like. Yours it's exactly like, Mine penn, said as
he tapped his own embroidered. Pocket ed found the chest
pocket was identical and featured a stitched moving truck and
green thread and gold letters surrounded. It ed And pen moving.

(01:46:04):
Services ed reached into the bag once more and pulled
out a lunch. Box he opened it and found a
bag of gummy, worms a, sandwich two juice, boxes and
a protein. Bar ed smiled, sadly what's? Wrong i'm too
weak to help you move? Things people have little things to.

(01:46:24):
Move pen Tussled ed's shaggy. Hair, besides you don't get
stronger by not. TRYING i used to be, scrawny really,
really and look at me. Now pen, flexed straining the
sleeve of his. Shirt how do you THINK i got
this strong because you had nothing to do but work
out when you were in? Prison ed answered, chipperly that's

(01:46:47):
entirely true and also not my Point ed pursed his.
Lips even if you can't help with the physical part
all the, Time i'm going to need someone to help
me with all the business. Stuff they don't teach bookkeeping
in the, joint and you have to help me paint the.
Truck ed sat up, quickly any, color of, Course ready
for our first. Job pen held out his. Fist ed

(01:47:09):
bumped knuckles Against pen's. Hand absolutely Partner crumbs rolled Down
ed's shirt and joined the others in his lap While
pen lugged the mattress up the loading ramp and into
the back of the. Truck pen was, right and the
couple had lots of little things For ed to. Load,
still he felt bad leaving the heaviest stuff for his.
Friend he shoved the rest of the sandwich into his.

(01:47:31):
Mouth is there, more he asked between. Bites, yeah but not.
Much penn pointed to one wall of the. Truck think
he can move those boxes over in front of the.
Dresser there's a big curio cabinet and two foot lockers
THAT i think would be more stable. There sure. Thing
dahlia Patted pen's shoulder as he hopped out of the
truck and rested her hands on the. Bumper you're a good, helper,

(01:47:54):
Thanks ed, said you have a lot of cool old.
Stuff dahlia, Laughed oh, love this isn't. Ours my grandfather
was a bit of an adventurer once upon a. Time
that's so. Cool ed scooped up a box and set
it on top of the. Dresser so this is all his,
treasures some of. It after my grandmother passed, Away Papa

(01:48:17):
harp became a, hermit and most of it just stayed
here collecting. Dust My daddy used to tell me all his.
Stories i'm sad to SAY i never got to meet
the man. Myself that does kind of, suck kind Of
dahlia tugged at a violet braid and twisted it around her.
Fingers not knowing him MEANS i get to hold on

(01:48:37):
to the hope that some of the magic in those
stories might actually be. Real, oh magic is very, Real
ed smiled. Knowingly where is all this? Going i'm sending
it all over to a. Colleague they're going to sort
it out and sell it for. Me why not keep?
It dahlia laughed. Sweetly, Oh i'd love, to but there's

(01:49:00):
too much of. It the hubby AND i are moving
To New. York we found us a cute little, townhouse
the operative word being. Little that's too. Bad ed lifted
an ornate bottle from one of the. Boxes this stuff
is really. Nifty i'd love to hear the stories about each.
One maybe you will. Love i've got a book deal
with a big publisher up. North i'm going to write

(01:49:22):
all About Papa harp and his. ADVENTURES i can't wait
to read. Them i'll send a signed copy to you
and your, Dad dahlia, said with a. Smile, Oh penn's
not my, Dad he's just my best. Friend ed's face
soured by. Default dahlia cocked her. Head how's That he's

(01:49:43):
my only, friend SO i guess he has to be
the best. One ed stared at the bottle in his tiny. Hands,
well now you've got, Too, Ed dohlias smiled at. HIM
i got to pack up a couple more boxes THAT
i think would fit perfectly right where you're. Working i'll
be back in a. Tip ed leaned on the dresser
and turned the bottle in his. Hands carefully raised figures

(01:50:06):
around the vessel were carved from the green glass. Itself
ed stepped toward the back of the truck and viewed
it in the sun nifty he gasped as the glass
changed to brilliant red in the direct. Sunlight figures bound
to one another formed an unending chain near the base
of the, bottle above a silver cap cut to resemble
flames that engulfed. THEM a cutout figure towered over them

(01:50:29):
with a staff in his, hand and the neck of
the bottle was shrouded in a silver sleeve with intricate
engravings of stars over the man on the opposite side
of the bottle was another figure bound by a giant
snake with a hood over his. Head he turned the
bottle upside and felt the weight, shift then held it
up to light to discover it was. Empty he shook it,

(01:50:51):
again feeling the invisible contents bouncing. About no freaking. Way
he rubbed his thumb over the constricting body of the
serpent and tucked the bottle away in its box as
he heard the dolly bounce off the front. Porch this
is so. Cool it took another forty minutes to load
the rest of the things and say goodbye To dahlia

(01:51:11):
and her. Husband she Got pen's mailing address to send
the book like she, said and tipped both of them
in cash for their hard. Work they were cruising down
the back roads to avoid the rush hour. Traffic ed
turned up the radio and bobbed in his seat To
Iggy pop's Butt. Town penn laughed at the boy and
threw up his horns before headbanging along with the. Music
ed exploded with. Laughter neither of them was aware of

(01:51:36):
the happenings in the back of the. Truck they couldn't
hear the glass snake's body fissuring or the tiny pieces
falling away from the hooded. Figure now free of its reptilian,
restraints they couldn't smell the, acrid semi sweet fumes spilling
over the lip of the bottle as the building's smoke
forced the cork. Up penn checked the time on the

(01:51:58):
dashboard clock and. Grunt what's? Wrong Ed. ASKED i was
hoping we'd have all this dropped off before dark so
we could go to the park and get those hot
dogs you like so much for. Dinner IF i had helped,
more we might have been done. Faster don't do. That
it's not your. Fault it's our first. Gig we'll get,
faster he. Shrugged, besides there's a place nearby that has

(01:52:20):
these huge conies with every topping imaginable. Like they've got
one called the Gut, buster where the dog is inside
onion rings in a cheese toasted bun and drowned and chili.
SWEET i Think i'll have two of. Those they both.
Laughed can we go to the? Mall ed Rubbed dhalia's
twenty dollars tip between his. Fingers, sure we can do

(01:52:43):
whatever you, want, Kid he Squeezed ed's shoulder. Reassuringly BUT
i thought you didn't like the, Mall i'll take an
extra anxiety. Pill ed hung his. HEAD i want to
find mom of. Perfume i'm not allergic. To something thumped
in the back of the. Truck. Shit pen slapped the steering.
WHEEL i forgot to strap the mattress. Down penn pulled

(01:53:04):
over and. Unbuckled ed's eyes grew wide as he realized the.
Source don't, Go, Penn it's not much. Further it'll only
take a. Second. Kid pen winked and stepped, out skirting
the side of the truck in case of passing. Cars
ed clamored out of the truck and watched his pen
rolled the door. Up pen sniffed the air and fanned
his hand in front of his. Face why does it

(01:53:27):
smell like a fucking opium, den he, asked no one in.
Particular the ornate bottle clattered along the metal floor of
the truck and rolled off the. End pen caught it
before he could hit the. Ground he sighed and held
it up For ed to. See the mattress must have
knocked over a, box probably some old timey. Cologne that,
stinks he. Said how many years HAVE i been captive

(01:53:50):
a set of glowing eyes shined in the. Darkness pen
knelt next To. ED i thought magic had to have a.
Battery what do you think you're? Holding ed, whispered what
is the price of my? Emancipation? Master the thing in
the back of the truck's voice was a rumbling, hiss
like steam through rusted. Pipes what is ode of? Babk?

(01:54:15):
Master penn looked at the bottle quizzically and, Snickered is
that WHAT i think it? Is? Yes and? No ed.
Gulped the speaker came, forward his body adorned in a
silk cloak with strands of gold that shimmered in the setting.
Sun wrinkled hands curled at the ends of the flowing

(01:54:35):
sleeves before reaching up and pulling the hood away from his.
FACE a sweeping gray mustache covered his entire lip and
swept out in grandiose. Curls do you free me without?
Obligation babik, Asked you're a fucking. Genie penn, exclaimed an
Ifrit ed, corrected the master is, Learned babic, said speak.

(01:55:00):
QUICKLY i have been gone too. Long not until you
grant us three, wishes though the law Of sulimane binds
me to. One babik held up a single. FINGER i
am free of my glass prison and now bound only
by the hesitation of the master's. Words i've seen enough

(01:55:21):
horror movies to know how this turns. OUT i wish
you were back in the, Bottle penn, said it was
the boy who set me. Free he must make the.
Wish wish him back in the. Bottle, kid it's not
worth the. RISK I i WISH i wasn't a. Burden ed. Blurted.
Fuck pen waved his hands in the. Air, nope that doesn't.

(01:55:45):
Count he's just a. Kid he doesn't know what he's.
Saying bobbik twisted one side of his mustache and grinned.
Menacingly it is. Done ed doubled over with a screech
and collapsed to the gravel. Shoulder pen dropped to his
knees and hugged him. Close ed's fever was growing fast
enough That penn could feel the heat rising off. Him
what the fuck did you do to? Him he will

(01:56:08):
be a burden no. Longer bobick. Shrugged the infant burst
into flames and flashed, overhead streaking upward and flying above
the city like a. Comet penn Lifted ed and hurriedly
put him in the cab of the, truck shut the,
back and climbed behind the. Wheel don't, worry, Ed penn
pulled onto the road in a WIDE u turn across.
Traffic i'm going to get you to the hospital and

(01:56:29):
Then i'm gonna beat the shit out of that, genie Ifrit,
ed said. Weakly the hospitals can't help. Me hospitals can fix,
Anything penn, Lied the iffrit were created from the first
flame in the. Universe how do you know this? SHIT
i read a. Lot you should be Reading Doctor seuss
or something. NOT i don't, Know penn waved his. Hands

(01:56:52):
not whatever the hell you're. Reading dad didn't leave me
any of. Those he left me books on. MAGIC i
thought you said you're was some scumbag talent. Agent he
left because he wasn't my real. Dad mom had too
much to drink and told me it was my fault. Too,
no that doesn't make it your. Fault your real dad

(01:57:13):
is probably much cooler than that guy who was just a. Chicken,
shit but not the point right, Now penn shook his.
Head if not the, hospital then what DO i do
to save? You Get bobbik back into the, bottle easy.
Enough penn grabbed his phone out of the console and
pulled up The internet. App he steered with his wrists
so he could type faster in the search. Bar where

(01:57:35):
are we? Going?

Speaker 2 (01:57:36):
Ed?

Speaker 1 (01:57:36):
Weezed he called the bottle of. Prison getting out of
prison is SOMETHING i know a lot. About when someone gets,
released they want one, thing a. Woman. No penn looked
At ed. Incredulously that's the second. Thing first comes real.
Food there's only one place that Serves Middle eastern cuisine
in this part Of. Oklahoma get him back in the.

(01:57:59):
Bottle ed broke into a coughing, fit spattering blood across
the glove. Box he laid over and put his head
On pen's. Leg it's not your fault if you don't save.
Me Pen pen Stroked dead's, hair strands came loose and
clung to his. Fingers he pressed the accelerator down to the.
Floor the truck crashed through the front Of Saffron, palace

(01:58:24):
sending patrons of the restaurant fleeing in all. Directions pen
stepped out of the cab and slammed the, door pointing
the bottle At, babik who sat at his, table completely
unbothered by the destructive. Entrance you can get back in
the bottle Or i'm gonna jam it up your. Ass
pen warned, him you've worked so. Hard, Please babik gestured

(01:58:45):
to the seat across from, him join me for my first.
Meal i'm not. Asking pen sat the vessel. Down you
in the bottle or the bottle in. You babik combed
back his white hair and shook his. Head you cannot
threaten me any more than a louse threatens a. Camel
pen Slug bobbic's square in the, nose shattering it and

(01:59:07):
tipping him over in his. CHAIR i figured that magic
lamp is like solitary. Confinement the guys in solitary get.
Soft they can't take a. Punch pen kicked the effort
in the. Ribs now get in the fucking. Bong bobbock's mustache,
smoldered the bittersweet smell of opium trailed from the glowing.

(01:59:28):
Ends as he rose to his, Feet pen backed away.
Slowly the threads Of bobbik's robe, ignited and the garment
fell away from his naked. Body as Ash pen lifted
a chair over his. Shoulder bobbik's mouth stretched open until
his jaw unhinged and continued to stretch. Wider, still his
voice emanated from deep within. HIM i am which was

(01:59:49):
created before all. Else from the first, FLAME i took my.
Life you child of The, mud are born in my,
shadow said you suck at talking. Shit penn lunged, forward
swinging the chair Of babbok's. FACE a fiery cloud launched
From babock's maw and engulfed the. Furniture pen let go

(02:00:11):
and jump, back gasping at the remains already scorched to
a cinder between him and the. Iffrit the creature, Laughed
smoke oozed from his. Pores yellow brown perspiration dripped from
the wiry hairs of his broad. Chest the glow returned
to his, eyes and his skin. Combusted bobbick Clutched pen's,
arms searing his flesh and tossing him effortlessly across the.

(02:00:32):
Restaurant the fiery figure stalked the, room leaving burning footprints
in his. Wake the ceiling tiles darkened. Overhead pen crawled
under a, table only for a fireball to set it.
Ablaze he shot from beneath it and ran to the,
kitchen as more flaming orbs streaked past him and ignited the.
Furnishings penn pulled his shirt over his head to examine his.
Wounds the creature's handprints were black spots of charred. Flesh,

(02:00:56):
JESUS i look like a fucking. Whopper the plastic swinging
doors melted into a puddle as the effort pushed through.
Them babik turned slowly to Face. Pen where is your bravado,
now little? Louse he. Growled you know what the hardest
thing about getting out of prison, Is penn, asked looking
around the kitchen for a. Weapon he grabbed a, large

(02:01:18):
curved knife and pointed it At. Babak enlighten. Me the
iffrit touched the point of the. Knife the blade glowed
intensely until the tang cooked through the, handle And pen
tossed it aside with a. Shriek he continued moving away
from the walking. Inferno the hardest part is knowing the
whole fucking world went on without. You everyone lived their,

(02:01:40):
lives moved on and did their own. Thing the creature
paused and cocked its. Head this is. True everything changes
when you're locked. Up no one gives a shit that you're,
gone and the world isn't the same when you come.
Back so much shit has been invented that you can't keep,
Up but you never even heard of anseln grabbed a

(02:02:00):
pot and slung the boiling oil at the. Iffrit the
liquid flared to, life burning everything in its. Path secondary
fires flashed around the. Kitchen bobbock's laughter. Boomed he stepped
Toward pen and raised an accusatory. FINGER a gout of
flames speared outward and contorted into a flame sword that
stopped inches From pen's. Face then The ansel fire suppression system.

(02:02:24):
Engaged first came the high pressure blast of chemicals that extinguished,
everything followed by the blanket of heavy foam that knocked
both combatants to the. Floor pen pushed himself up and
slipped about until he got his. Footing he spat the
non toxic but non tasty foam from his. Mouth bobbock

(02:02:44):
sobbed on the floor in a quivering mass beneath the
White sudsea. Blanket his flesh was charred from the fire suppressing.
Agents let's get you back in the. Bottle pen Grabbed
bobbik's arm and the burnt flesh stripped away in his.
Hands Ew the effort curled into a fetal position as
his cooling skin crumbled and broke, away leaving a human

(02:03:06):
shaped briquet on the. Floor Fuck pen kicked the corpse
and it shattered into soggy. Ash you weren't supposed to.
DIE i need you to fix. Head something stirred among
the debris that used to Be bobbic's rib. Cage what the?
Shit pen knelt to inspect the. Movement he dug his
fingers through the, slog revealing a, green fist sized orb

(02:03:30):
stretching open within the effort's. Body the red poppy petals
pushed through and twisted. Open the petals, shuddered and the
oversized flower moved shakily across the ravaged organs beneath. It
pen touched the. Petals the flower twisted, violently and the
four viselike fangs buried deep Into pen's. Hand he jumped,
back howling in. Pain the fake flower lost petals As

(02:03:51):
pen shook his arm, violently revealing the, creature whose back
it grew on its spindly legs fought for. Purchase as
it was slung back and, Forth pen banged it against a,
countertop freeing himself from its bite at a. Cost he
grimaced at the exposed, bone before reaching for a towel
to wrap around the. WOUND a cowering cook ran Past
pen into the wrecked dining. Room pen ignored him and

(02:04:14):
followed the monster's tracks through the foam and out the
service entrance to the alley. Beyond he. Groaned the overhead
lights left pools of piss yellow between the restaurants and
the nearby. Buildings come out, babok he called The iffrit
did not. Oblige thin digits Caressed pen's bare shoulder and
squeezed the tense, muscles sending a ripple of goosebumps up

(02:04:36):
his spine as he whirled around the. Creature wasn't there
just the? Cook the Diminutive iranian man glared At pen
from behind thick lenses that occupied entirely too much of
his dark. Face the man held up the magic. Bottle
you forgot, this he said. Softly it seems to be
missing the. Cork shit and thought of. That penn took the.

(02:05:00):
Bottle the man reached into his white smock and produced
a quirk of his. Own he held it, up Showing
pen the burned in hexagram on its wide. TOP i
think you'll find this one fits. Perfectly the man scampered.
Away fuck AM i supposed to do with the? Bottle
the cook stopped at the, door put the efrit back.
Inside do you know? Nothing as a matter of, FACT i.

(02:05:24):
Don't the cook rolled his eyes. Inside ifrits don't like,
light flush it, out nail it to the, earth invoke
the name Of, suleimane and return it to its vessel
at once to undo any wish it is, granted it's
not that. Difficult the man disappeared inside and slammed the.
Door penn's shoulders. Sagged he put the cork between his
teeth and pulled out his, phone flipping on the. Flashlight,

(02:05:47):
OKAY i got light and a. Bottle where DO i get?
NAILS i don't see a hardware St, oh. Motherfucker pen
cast the light down and found the source of the sudden.
Pain he lifted his foot and with it the broken
slat of a. Pallet he slid down the brick wall
and pried the board. Loose the rusted nails squeaked as

(02:06:07):
they passed through the rubber sole of his. Boot oh,
good NOW i have. Nails he panned the light. Around nothing.
Moved he tilted the phone under the dumpster beside. Him
the monster screeched and lunged from its, cover attacking the
phone and knocking it to the. Ground it scurried, away
And pen crawled after it until he could get his
feet under him and. Run the thing's ten legs carried

(02:06:28):
it much faster Than pen could. Hobble it cleared the
alley and found itself in the glare of a street.
Light the effort screamed again and bolted around the. Building
pen rounded the corner and searched for the. Thing then
he saw the back of his truck sticking out of
the side of the. Building ed was slumped against the,
tires his clothes saturated with sweat and his face void
of color except for the explosion of. FRECKLES a clump

(02:06:51):
of hair blew away from his head on the. Breeze
bloody spittle dripped down his chin as his body spasmed
with weak, Hacks pens to the ground beside. Him he
hugged the boy and stroked his. Cheek the fever was,
gone But ed's skin was deathly cold in its. Wake come, on,
kid you saved. Me stay alive long enough to let

(02:07:12):
me pay you. Back it's. Okay ed, moaned at Least
i'm with my. Friend pen wept as the boy fell
limp against. Him The iffrit shimmered out from under the
truck and stared at the two humans with its beady red.
Eyes its fang spread in a clicking hiss that sounded
like perverse. Laughter the monster moved, forward, slowly crawling Across

(02:07:37):
ed's wilted. Form it Watched penn, cry but the man didn't.
Move bobbi took tentacle steps onto his thigh and then
stood tall and repeated the evil. Cackling what was it
you called?

Speaker 2 (02:07:49):
Me?

Speaker 1 (02:07:49):
Kazam pen. Sniffled he wiped his nose on the back
of his, hand still clutching the broken. Board h child
of the, mud wasn't that? It bobbi blinked each of
his six. Eyes guess that makes me part of the.
Earth the board Met pen's thigh with a, sharp wet.
Smack bobbic squealed beneath the, wood with nails pinning him in.

(02:08:11):
Place penn pressed the board down harder and spat the
cork into his free. Hand he placed the hexagram Against bobbik's.
Face smoke roiled at the contact of the divine symbol
and infernal flesh in Su Lea mayne's. Name get the
fuck in the. Bottle the creature's flesh, vibrated, shifted and
burst into a cloud of brackish smoke that swirled around

(02:08:31):
the neck of the ornate glass. Vessel pen stuffed the
cork into the, top sealing the iffrit. Within his head
thumped against the, tire and he Hugged ed. Close i'm,
SORRY i was, late. Kid janet adjusted the flowers in their.
Vases her hands shook as much from stress and heartache
as from the lack of a. Drink she hadn't had

(02:08:52):
a drop Since pen returned without her. Son she wouldn't
touch it ever. Again ed only ever had one, friend
but the flowers seemed to come from. Everywhere even some
lady In New york sent. Some it seemed all the
Time janet spent in a, bottle her son spent touching
the lives of. Others none of them were his, friends Just.

(02:09:15):
Pen the rest sent cards explaining How ed helped, them
how the words and smile he shared touched. Them she
reread the cards and broke down in tears. Again penn
placed a hand on her. Shoulder she slapped it. AWAY
i never knew what he was doing When i'd send him,
away she, said holding up the. Cards penn took them

(02:09:37):
and flipped through the. Stack he'd read all of them several.
Times ed told me magic is just a toy without a.
Battery he set the cards next to the flowers and
took a bag of gummy worms from his. Pocket he'd
picked all the other colors out to leave Only ed's
favorite red and green. Ones he put one between his
teeth and slipped it up before offering them the Jan

(02:10:00):
she smiled softly and plucked one from the. Bag what's
that even, mean she. ASKED ed shared his magic with
people that needed. It he got that from. Somewhere maybe
you fucked up and how you showed, it but you
still loved, him or you wouldn't be crying in a
bag of gummy worms with. Me that was the battery

(02:10:22):
to his. Magic. Love they still don't know what, Happened janet.
Said severe allergic, reaction a Small Middle eastern man, said
from behind oversized. Glasses he stepped into the room and
slapped the iPad against his. Palm possibly something found in
the second hand moving blankets inside Mister pennington's Truck. Pennington

(02:10:43):
janet glanced up At. Penn penn pointed at the. Man
you're the, cook obviously, not SINCE i am clearly the.
Doctor he nodded. Happily and you Are Casper Marion. Pennington
are you not? Wow your parents hated, You janet, said.
Yeah pen pinched the bridge of his. NOSE i am

(02:11:04):
you should be more careful of the things you allow
a boy to play. With the doctor scolded. Him ed
turned away from the harsh glare of the overhead fluorescence
with a. Groan, Mom, pen about damn time you woke, up,
Kid pen rubbed dead's shaved. Head how are you feeling
LIKE i was in a car? Crash the doctor cleared his.

(02:11:25):
Throat pen squinted at, him then turned his attention back To.
Ed janet shoved him out of the way and snuggled her.
Son pen sat on the corner of the bed and
dug in his pockets with a. Groan the skin grafts
were tight and. Pinched ed pushed his mother's hair out
of his. Face, mom you're smothering. Me i'm, sorry. Baby
she kissed his cheek for so. Much pen put his

(02:11:49):
hand on her shoulder, again and this time she let it.
Stay good. Thing you woke up when you. Did penn,
said why is? That ed asked as excitedly as the
recently resuscitated, Could because you almost missed the, coolest most
fun holiday there. Is he handed ed a narrow box
with a ribbon around. It ed opened the box and,

(02:12:10):
smiled holding up the prize. INSIDE i can't BELIEVE i.
Forgot that's, right, Kid It's National Kazoo. Day The End

(02:12:31):
The Black museum By John Oak. Dalton they were taping
The halloween special at The Visitors center In ipswich because
they couldn't Afford salem At. Halloween but fuck, It steve
thought the rumor was this was the last season of the. Show,
anyway he would just say in the cold open they
were In, salem and who would know the. Difference there

(02:12:54):
was a guy with A Jim abbott rookie, card which
wasn't worth, much but the guy was telling a good
story about seeing him play at The university Of, michigan
so they'd probably use it in the. Episode they only
had a trickle of people here wanting their junk to
be appraised for the, show so they would have to
take what they had Junkin coast To coast had been

(02:13:15):
broadcast for seventeen years on a second tier cable channel
and had been steadily declining in viewership since the original
host had had the temerity to kill. Himself it used
to be called junkin With, joe but shit With steve
didn't have the same ring to, It so there you.

(02:13:36):
Go the bitch of it, all In steve's mind was
Fucking joe died with a belt hanging around his neck
and a bunch of furry porn around his. Feet but
all of that has been conveniently, forgotten And steve was
never never going to be considered as good as the original.
Guy his, Videographer, yvonne had the baseball card guy square

(02:14:00):
up on a head and shoulders shot and was half
turned away texting. Somebody she had been his primary shooter
on The East, coast and since the budget of the
show kept shrinking year over, year they traveled less and
less and stayed closer To New york And steve's other
videographers in other parts of the country dropped. Away but

(02:14:21):
even though they spent a lot of time together when
they were shooting the show and stayed at the same
hotels and ate together every. Night they never had hooked,
up never even brushed. Hands Yet steve felt Like yvonne
was breaking up with. Him this old lady comes up
with another Fucking blenco. Vase and then after that was a,

(02:14:42):
lull And yvonne stepped out into the cold night and called.
Somebody steve watched through the windows of the visitor. Center
when she hung, Up steve went outside to confront. Her
are you looking for another? Job it's the last show
of the, Season. Steve, yeah but we're starting again In
portsmouth In, january and people have always cleared out a

(02:15:03):
bunch of shit over the. Holidays yvonne shook her. Head
i'm hearing this is? It even if it, ISN'T i
gotta keep an eye out for. Me steve pointed at
her cell. Phone who was? That yvonne just. Shrugged it Was.
Rich he's on that dive bar show now where they
show people how to fix them up and make a

(02:15:23):
new drink, menu that kind of. Thing you mean where
he fucking went when he cut out on. Junkin that's
not how he sees. It but, yeah the asshole hosts
That we were at the upfronts In boston with the network,
guys and he was a douchebag to. Everybody, yeah But
rich says that's only when he. Drinks the whole premise

(02:15:44):
of the show is in fucking. Drinking, Well rich says
he needs a second, Shooter so so you're the first
shooter on my. Show yvonne just looked at, him then
slides her eyes back through the window of the visitor.
Center steve follows her line of sight and sees a
guy in coveralls with a little book under his, arm

(02:16:05):
and fuck my life if that isn't probably A civil
war diary about somebody nobody gives a shit. About So
steve just set his jaw And yvonne followed him back
into the visitor. CENTER a blast of warm air and
close smells hit. Them, hey thanks for coming out to the.
Show if you'll sign this, release we can sit down
AND i can check out what you have. There the

(02:16:27):
guy looked pretty nervous up close and only gives a
little bird like nod while he's scratching his name on
the Clipboard yvonne holds out to. Him the fake smile
dropped From steve's. Face, hey CAN i look at? This
while my videographer sets up real. Quick, sure, man that's
WHY i brought. It the guy, SAID i found it

(02:16:47):
WHEN i was cleaning out my uncle's attic he passed
over the. Summer steve swallowed hard and takes the, small
soft edged book While yvonne gets ready to clip A
lavaaler microphone on the. Guy steve frowned with distaste and
puts the book down quickly on a nearby. Table Both
yvonne and the guy look At steve with. Surprise take

(02:17:09):
that mic. Off we can't talk to this, Dude steve
said with. Finality the guy in the coveralls raised his
hands and mocks. Surrender hey, MAN i just want to
know WHAT i have. Here steve looked at him. Steadily
it looks like you have a diary bound in human,
skin AND i don't dick around with shit like. That.

(02:17:30):
Now the guy looked more surprised than he did. Before
he holds his hands open. WIDE i didn't know. That
you said you got that from your. Uncle maybe you
should turn that over to the. Police the. Police it
ain't like. That steve just. SHRUGGED i don't care what it's.
Like i'm not going on camera with a book made

(02:17:52):
out of somebody's. Skin yvonne retreated behind her camera and
doesn't check her cellphone for. Once the guy in cover
looked through the window of the visitor center to the
darkness beyond where nobody else is coming to bring their
old crap. Tonight then he looked square At. Steve, okay

(02:18:12):
this is the straight, story. Man i'm a, Plumber, OKAY
i work for the. City we get this. Call there's
water running out of this old abandoned building way down
by choke. Bridge we go down, there water running across the.
Street EVENTUALLY i gotta break into the place and look
for a busted. Pipe, see this is the most boring
fucking story that involves a diary made of human SKIN

(02:18:35):
i have ever. Heard, Okay, okay so wait a. SECOND
i get in, THERE i shut off the. PIPE i
start looking around a. Minute this old boarded up place
is full of all kinds of. Shit it looks like
medieval torture, shit and a bunch of other. STUFF i
don't know what it, is but there's probably some money
in all, that, Right BUT i can't haul all that

(02:18:58):
out with my partner just out. Outside SO i grabbed
this book off a, shelf AND i thought i'd bring
it here. Tonight see if this shit wasn't worth. Anything
my grandma watches your. Show you, Know steve is actually
able to ignore this comment because his mind is working.
Working what's your, name? Dude why you got to know my?

(02:19:20):
Name i'm not calling the. COPS i just want to
know what to call. You, Jimmy Jimmy. Corey so what
other kind of stuff was in this? Place Jimmy jimmy.
Shrugged maybe some other, weapons some guns and, Shit But
i'm not touching somebody else's. GUNS i have a feeling

(02:19:42):
that was a good. Idea just hang loose for a.
Second steve lifted his chin And yvonne follows him to
the corner out of. Earshot yvonne looked at him like
he was. Crazy, YVONNE i think this dude here found
a black. Museum yvonne arched a brow at. HIM a black, Museum,

(02:20:03):
jesus not that kind of Black calm down a, minute,
NOW i have to calm. Down it's not that kind
of black. Museum the original was In, london but now
it refers to any place where somebody has collected artifacts
from various crimes on the. Circuit you know the world
we live. In sometimes you hear about private. Collectors you

(02:20:26):
mean people that like want to picture a serial killer
painted shit like. THAT i mean that's a mild, example but,
yeah we've never seen anything like that come Through you
sure that's human? Skin, yeah it. Is so what do
you want to? Do steve looked back At. Jimmy we

(02:20:47):
need to get this guy to take us to that.
Place what? Why just trust me and when we get,
there don't stop rolling tape for. Anything my contract Says
i'm done at seven. Thirty steve shook his head. Angrily
forget about seven. Thirty we're looking at season. Eighteen believe.

(02:21:08):
Me uh, Huh yvonne said, flatly season. EIGHTEEN a few minutes,
Later stephen And yvonne piled Into jimmy's panel van and
headed towards the. River you ought to do a whole
show on The Choke, Bridge jimmy offered as they got.
Closer it's one of the oldest bridges in The United,
states if not the. Oldest, well can someone take that

(02:21:31):
bridge down and bring it into The Ipswich Visitor. Center,
no then it can't be on the fucking. Show jimmy
just shook his. Head it was just an. Idea and
when did you shave your? Beard what he's talking About?
Joe yvonne threw, in of course he's fucking talking About.
Joe steve, thought, Never, JIMMY i never shaved. It jimmy blinks,

(02:21:56):
owlishly then steers the panel van into a ground a
lot next to a large dilapidated, building with the bridge
looming close, by close enough that the brackish water seeped
through the gravel all around. Them when they stepped, Out
steve looked. Around somebody could urban renew this, shit put
in a, boardwalk turn this into. Something it's gotta fit

(02:22:18):
with the. History it's how we do things around, Here jimmy,
answered as he fiddles with the latch where a snapped
off combination lock. Hangs yvonne crowded in closer To. Steve
there's some sort of shape over, there looks like a
dead raccoon or. Something jimmy doesn't turn. Around i'm a
plumber for the. City if it ain't got at least
one shoe sticking, up we don't check it. Out steve

(02:22:41):
was about to Ask yvonne if she was rolling get
her focus, back when something came out of the darkness
ahead with a sound like thwip thwip, thwip and suddenly
the blackness Around steve was. Total When steve next opened his,
eyes something warm was running down his, face and he
knew it was blood Because yvonne was directly in front of,

(02:23:03):
him and blood was running from a scalp wound on her. Head.
Too near her was a guy dressed in all black
with an ugly face tattoo and a fuck if the
guy wasn't swinging a bola from one. Hand jimmy stood
stiff legged off to the, side watching As yvonne stumbled
in a loopy circle and carefully put the camera on the,

(02:23:23):
ground seemingly in a. Daze then the man in black
uncoiled like a serpent and let the bola. Go the
rope wrapped Around yvonne's neck and the two steel balls
at the end clapped Against yvonne's, skull and her legs
went out from under her and she quit. Moving steve's vision.
Swam jimmy's, voice growing, shrill cut through the gathering dark.

(02:23:47):
Clouds you said you'd let her. Go the man turned
his gaze On, jimmy who took an involuntary step, back
but he kept on with his. Protests you said you'd
let my girlfriend go IF i got it, here The
man In black's voice skipped Down steve's. SPINE i did
set her. Free it was the last moment you have

(02:24:09):
before reality sets. In jimmy licked his. Lips where is? She?
Then over? There jimmy didn't want to look behind, them,
boxes behind, them what didn't fit in. Them jimmy fell
to his, knees his eyes rolling back in. Shock the

(02:24:31):
man In black took a step, forward pulling a six
inch blade from an unseen sheath and Opening jimmy's now
convenient throat from ear to. Ear steve watched the blood
make a bright red arc before he passed. Out When steve,
awoke this, time the man In black had been. Busy

(02:24:51):
he'd Strapped, yvonne still only semi, conscious to some sort
of torture device That jimmy had described as. Medieval but
the strained part awake in the back Of steve's mind told,
him despite the terror flooding all the other parts of his,
brain that it wasn't built that long, ago maybe as

(02:25:12):
recently as the, seventies could have been a sex toy
somebody built in their garage or a prop from some
chintzy be. Movie steve's mind snapped clear when the cold
eyes of the man in black sought him. Out you're
back with, us junk, man the man, said And steve, thought,

(02:25:32):
oh we gotta do this shit like. That steve got
to his hands and, knees then slowly to his. Feet
he surveyed the torture device from a short distance with
a critical. Eye so this is a black, museum your unfortunate,
Friend billy did not lie about. THAT i have been

(02:25:55):
quietly working on my kingdom here for some, time and
the pieces are almost. Complete that bola it was used
by a teenager In Mexico city in the early two.
Thousands he threw it off an overpass through a bus,
window killing the driver and causing the bus to, flip
killing dozens of. Children he was listening to a band

(02:26:20):
Called Clowns Eat Little, girls and he said in court
the music told him to do, it and the knife
it's a caution with the serial number filed, off of,
course translates to kite. BIRD a Former Russian Special forces
soldier used it to kill more than twenty prostitutes in

(02:26:40):
The balkans throughout the nineties Before interpol caught up to.
Him the man in black Lifted yvanne's chin with one
pale hand and studied her skull like you would a
piece of fruit in the produce asle we will start
with this, device and something in the voice now Made
steve's head stand on. End it was built and used

(02:27:03):
in the early seventies by the man who became known
as The National Road, killer and many a poor hitchhiker
with fewer prospects than this young woman spent their last hours.
Here he turned his eyes back To steve. Again but
you can set her. Free all you have to do

(02:27:24):
is assist me with the final pieces of my red
puzzle SO i can end up Like. Jimmy thanks, anyway,
Dude yvonne Mumbles. Steve the man in black, frowned and
his disapproval is like a hand closing Around steve's. Throat
the simplest switch on this device starts moving joints and

(02:27:46):
ways they should not. Go then it gets more complicated from.
There for your, Friend steve barked out a. Laugh you
got this all. Wrong she's not my. Friend she works for,
me and you can get camera people by the bagful
In New york for, You, Steve yvonne cried, out her

(02:28:07):
voice warbling with. Desperation it's the gig, Economy steve. Shrugged
steve's comment even brings this stone cold killer up. Short
do you not even want to know WHAT i want
you to? DO a lay it on, me scribble. Face

(02:28:28):
the man in black waved The russian blade in a,
slow lazy, arc then it disappeared with a whisper back
into its. Sheath this is a grand, blade one that
has taken many. Lives but several years ago an elderly
man brought a knife to your, show and you sent

(02:28:49):
him away after telling him that the blade was worth very.
Little that man was Named John Wallace, hansen and he
died last. Year on his, deathbed it was alleged he
revealed he had killed a dozen women with that, blade
but was never caught because he'd made a pact with the.

(02:29:09):
Devil he was probably never caught because of his fabulous,
wealth which he also ascribed to his. PACT i believe
that knife now rests with his. DAUGHTER i, WANT i
need for you to reach out to her and offer
to reevaluate that. Knife then do what you have to

(02:29:33):
to bring that knife to, me where does she? Live
if It's, peoria it's going to be a. Minute as it,
happens she lives very nearby In, salem where you taped the.
Program her father appeared. On steve shook his. Head you
got something. Wrong we never taped a show In. Salem

(02:29:53):
we couldn't get in there this time. Either you had
a beard back then the pain in steve skull, cleared
but his eyes began to see a red. HAZE i
never had a fucking. Beard it was many years. Ago
i've hosted the show for seven. Years no before. That before,

(02:30:17):
that anger flooded Through steve's rubbery. Limbs that was the other.
Guy without realizing what he was, Doing steve lunged at
the man in. Black his hand instinctively went to where
he had seen the tattooed man slip the knife, away
and Suddenly steve had it by the handle and was
pushing the blade, upward, upward and it went under the

(02:30:40):
man's chin and threw his tongue and stuck somewhere in
the roof of his mouth before blood began gushing out
through his. Teeth he fell to his. Knees As steve
had Watched jimmy, do and with that in his, mind
he picked up the bola from where it lay on
the concrete floor nearby and pulped the other man's skull
with it until even the twitch. Stopped steve started Undoing

(02:31:02):
yvonne's bonds with blood slicked, hands and as he looked
closer at the, device it was a fucking good. Thing
it never started. Up he might have, Puked. Yvonne, uh
WHAT i? Said it was. Bullshit that guy was never
going to fucking let us live AFTER i did what he. Wanted,
steve WHAT i, SAID i meant. It fuck, You, steve fair.

(02:31:26):
ENOUGH i got you into. This we both got hit
in the fucking. Head that's not. Great we both said some,
Shit BUT i did what you told me. TO i
never stopped. Shooting steve stops untying her for a short,
Moment surprised WHAT i never stopped? Shooting steve looked over

(02:31:47):
at the, Camera yvonne said on the ground when they
first walked. In oh. Shit eighteen months, later everything was
working out fine For. Steve he wasn't charged with, anything
and the footage made him kind of a. Hero there
was a renewed interest in his, show But steve got
too big for it and now was about to host

(02:32:09):
a special on a major, network live from the Original
Black museum In, london with the current curator From New
Scotland yard answering his. Questions he'd Invited yvonne to join
him as a, producer but she didn't want to leave
the dive bar. Show she had ended up hooking up With,
rich so maybe that was part of her plan all.
Along rich And steve had mended, fences And rich told.

(02:32:32):
Him yvonne hardly ever woke up screaming. Anymore of, course
as soon As steve was cleared by the, cops he
went To salem and found the daughter and bought the
knife with what savings he had. Left the daughter had
heard the rumors too and was happy to get rid of,
it not for fucking free or, Anything steve. Noted the

(02:32:53):
first couple of Days steve didn't do anything with, it
but eventually he went down to the dumpsters behind His
astoria apartment building at night and waited for the. RATS
a couple of nights after that and he finally hit
one after getting pretty good at throwing the knife and
also having plenty of. Targets the very next, day a

(02:33:16):
woman who had dumped him came back into his life
and they went to bed together right, away and then
she moved in in a few weeks after. That but
before she decided to move, In steve was able to
kill another rat with the, knife and the next day
an aunt he never fucking saw anyway left him a
couple of Grand so fuck. It he started figuring out

(02:33:38):
this dark webshit and advertised the knife for sale to,
collectors and he zeroed in on a guy In philly
who bragged about having his own black. Museum steve drove
out there one weekend and this dweeb started showing him
all the stuff he had squirreled away before he showed
him any. Money steve's trained eye instantly saw As hitler

(02:33:59):
stuff was lumpy, bullshit but the serial killer paintings were probably,
Real so as soon as he killed the guy with the,
knife he took the paintings and a couple other. Things
the next, day the network had called him and offered
him the live, show so he was going back to
the dark. Web these creeps shouldn't be buying that shit,

(02:34:19):
Anyway and guess, what he didn't have to sign his
name in blood in a, book or go to the
crossroads in some southern town at. Midnight and if he
actually did make a deal with the, devil it, was
like he Told, YVONNE tv was the gig, economy he'd
probably already sold that. Shit, well my, spookies that's our

(02:34:48):
last ride of the. Night if your cotton candy happened
to turn to, cobwebs or if your prize winked at
you when you looked, away consider this a friendly reminder
The midway never gives anything for. Free if you had
a thrill or, three bring a friend, back share this,

(02:35:12):
episode drop a quick rating on your favorite podcasting, app
and make sure you are subscribed so we can punch
your ticket again Every wednesday until the gates creak open.
Again keep your fingers out of the, gears your wishes to,
yourself and your heart far from the grabber. Claw i'll

(02:35:37):
catch you all next.

Speaker 2 (02:35:38):
Time

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