AI erotic role play - S3 EP35

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look up with come all the things on the bottom. Oh,
oh wow, it's you.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
You're my favorite view. But that's not and we are back.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Welcome back, beautiful creatures.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
This is not done.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
I thought you were gonna say full circle.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Full Circle's true, I mean positive. We were at a
kitchen table in here when we started all of this. Yeah,
we are not at the studio anymore. We are back
in our house. This was my whiskey room. It's whiskey's gone.
You guys are watching on Patreon will have split screen.
You won't see it. But when you guys air this later,
when this aired later, you'll actually see our background. The

(00:54):
room is not complete yet. Yeah, we still don't have internet. No,
so things are not quite where it needs to be.
We've got about five foot of wasted space in this
direction that I have to figure out because the table
that I've got is just a catch all right now,
has got a ton of shit on it. We're both sick, Yeah,

(01:15):
getting over being sick. I should say. We both feel
way better today than we did the last four days.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yeah. Last four days was rough.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, Yeah, it's bad. It's been pretty bad.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I don't do well mentally when I can't do things physically.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah, yeah, so, but yeah, you're right, It's it's full
circle again. This is going to be where our podcast
ends up being like our final destination hopefully, and that
once the Internet is actually installed here and we have
dedicated fiber and we're able to do our live streams
and all the shit that we need to do, it
will all just be done in this room. We don't
need a crazy big set. This little bit of shit

(01:48):
here bothers me. But I think it's something that I'll
get used to over time. And in a worst case scenario,
we'll just move our chairs back at foot because it's
not like we're getting back into anything, and that frees
up a little bit of room and we can readjust
cameras and shit. But we obviously don't have a chat
running right now because we're not recording live because we
don't have proper internet. So I'll have to We'll record this.
I'll cut the beginning out and like clean the end

(02:10):
of it up, and then I'll run to the studio
because we still technically have it until the end of June,
and my gaming computers there, so I can take everything
on a hard drive over there and upload it, so
that doesn't it takes fourteen hours to upload a single
episode of the podcast from here.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
That's disgusting.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, and that was just a Google drive that wasn't
even a YouTube.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
Is this what the Amish feel like? No, I'm kidding,
you know.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
I actually learned yesterday that not all Amish people are
anti technology. There's actual like different branches of Amish, and
some of them have fully embraced technology and some are
very abstinent of it.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
So, you know, I've heard things like that. I've started
following this. I don't know if they become like excommunicated
from the family that they're in or the Amish community
that they're in, but they choose to not live that
lifestyle anymore. And I'm learning things from her by proxy
of things like that. Yeah, some of them use cars too, yep.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, Well that's the different the different branches. I watched
something last night from Peterson Grelly, who does the He
just tours places and talks to people. That's his entire
YouTube channel. He's got like three billion followers. I very
much enjoy his content. He literally just goes out. He's
you know that town that we went to, the Micanopie,
the really small town in Florida that we went to

(03:34):
that is like supposed to be forgotten in time and
all this shit. It had the really old buildings that
was giving me funhouse syndrome because the way the floors
will work. He went he went there when he was
in Florida and like checked out that little town and
like it's just a very cool thing. All he does
is talk to people and records it. That's that's his content.
But he went to North Carolina to look at the

(03:55):
hurricane shit because they're, you know, eight months ago, there's
still dealing with it. They're still like the North Carolina
is still fucking totally destroyed and people don't realize that,
like it's not back to normal yet. The donations have
stopped coming in at the you know, the way they were,
and a lot of people out there volunteering their services
and shit. And he went out there and talked to
people to try to bring that back. But I watched

(04:16):
some shit about him last night with him last night
about that, and I don't remember why that even got
brought up, because there was that was where I was.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Going, Oh goodness, I don't know how we got there.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Either the Amish.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
The Amish.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, he said in his video last night that because
he does a lot of work with Amish people, and
he named all these Amish communities. He's like, these people
don't do technology at all. These people do have cars,
the Internet, the whole nine. And then you have the
rebellious teenagers who are going to get the Internet either way. Yeah,
and I was like, Okay, that makes a whole lot
of sense.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
But I'm terrified they half teenagers. Just with the life
that we have. I couldn't imagine having a teenager as
an Amish parent.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Well you would think that with or even but what
is it? The Dutch, American Dutch, the.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
Not.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
They're not Amish.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
Our telepathy is failing us right now.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
They're not Amish. They're the other thing Amish. But the
other thing if that pulls up and be shocked. Mennonite.
Mennonite is the word I'm looking for. They're Mennonites. I
think that's the word I'm looking for.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Now.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
I'm all kinds of confused. I think we should just
move on because.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
I'm probably mads. So it's the AI overview. This AI
overview is kind of freaking me out a little bit,
it's gotten really good. It's gotten really good. And it
said the other thing you're likely referring to when comparing
Amish to their counterparts as Mennonites.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Glad that my brain is still working at least somewhat
to capacity. So since we got back from Costa Rica,
we decided we were going to start dieting and taking
better care of ourselves. I'm down thirteen pounds already.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Is that for real? Yeah? That's ra That was like
a sarcasm clap.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Well, no, this is a courtesy clap.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Okay, like a golf clap.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yeah, kind of like the the the opera is still happening,
but we want to just let them know that we're supportive.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Okay, Okay, if.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
I clap too loud, he's going to get going. The
children are going to get going. I was down five
pounds and then my womanly cycle kicked in. I was
really hard on myself about this this morning, Like, I
know weight fluctuation, and our cycle is a monthly basis
versus I believe men go through a twenty four hour cycle.

(06:44):
I'm learning things I may not be retaining it. I
may have just shared incorrect information, but I'm learning things,
and I'm aware of these changes in my body. And
I got on the scale this morning, knowing where I'm
at in my cycle, and still got upset that I
put on a little bit of weight. But I haven't

(07:05):
eaten anything. I did have ice cream while we were sick.
I wanted something to make me feel good, and I
was so tired of grapes and cheese.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
I haven't had a full meal since we got back.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah. We got back and almost immediately got sick.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah. Well, I also fasted for forty eight hours, so
my weight loss will probably come back as soon as
I'm able to eat again. But you know, being sick
and shit was definitely a plus because it made it
so that I didn't want to eat everything.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
I also slept more in the last four days, and
I've slept in the last two weeks combined, which is
definitely not like me. Lots of sleep happening. We've also
caught up on a lot of TV shows because we've
been sick. Oh my gosh, we watched.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
The TV series Interview with a Vampire. Oh my gosh,
it's so good. I'm having dreams about it. Yeah, and
I wake up and I'm like, no, I will never
be a vampire. My husband and I will not be
able to experience love over and over again for hundreds
of years.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
I think we will. I just think it'll look different.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, you're right. Also, I thought I had while watching
that show. A lot of people want to say that
men don't get abused in relationships and domestic violence can't
happen towards men. We watched like one hundred and eighty
Years of the Week getting his ass beat by the
love of his life.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, I have manipulated abuse.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
My goodness when I say that show was a lot.
At some point I looked at my husband and I
was like, I love that. This show just documents the
fucked up family function of a vampire family.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah. I read a lot of the Anne Riis books
a long, long time ago, and I remember when the
movie came out. I was a kid and I watched
Interview with a Vampire when I was a young young man,
and uh, I enjoyed it. I didn't like what they
did with Queen of the Damned and the way that
they continued the story. It went from a very like

(09:09):
I don't know, it just changed the way the story
was told changed, and I didn't enjoy it, And I'm
very much looking forward to seeing what they're doing with
Lestatt and bringing in his rock star career. Yeah, and
if they're going to bring in Akasha and all of
the things that they're doing there, we'll see.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
So this isn't a back in time thing. This is
a is this going to be so?

Speaker 2 (09:28):
In the Interview of the Vampire that we just watched,
the timeline is different than in the books and in
the original movie, But when they did The Queen of
the Damned, it was present time. Lestat becomes a rock star,
And what I looked up last night said that in
twenty twenty six they're going to do season three and
it'll be about Lestatt becoming a rock star.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
My goodness. So I feel like he's going to be
like a nineteen eighties rock star in regards to like
the attention and like, oh the Osborne level kind of
Oh my gosh, if him and lou you get back together,
I'm over here gossiping about vampires, My goodness. Could you
imagine what that's going to do to his psyche?

Speaker 2 (10:06):
Yeah? Anything else? You got anything new? You want to
talk about your garden?

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Oh? My goodness garden. Husband commissioned a family friend too.
It started off as a simple raised garden bed that
had pillars, and now it's turning into this amazing oasis.

(10:31):
There is going to be a built in little meditation deck.
There is going to be would you say, PVC pipe?
We're going to install PVC pipe or a little herb
garden to go around the border of it.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Thought about that this morning because I was going to
buy four inch PVC pipe and just cut it down
the middle. That we could buy one pipe and have
two things. But I think rain gutters would be a
better option because they're metal so there's no plastics. But
I think that it'll be easier. I want to have
to cut it. I can literally just screw it right
to the wood. It'll be a much cleaner process, and

(11:12):
it'll be the depth that I want without having to
cut and manipulate.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
Okay, we'll have to drill holes into the bottom of
it for draining it.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
It's easy, though, it's ten you know, to even spray
it with like a clearcoat to make sure that it
doesn't corrode over time.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
I am so excited. Husband even has my IQ is
driving because I'm so excited and my grammar is terrible
right now. My husband has even added extra I don't
I don't know, wood pillar things for me to hang
plants on. I am so excited for that. Yeah, We're

(11:51):
gonna have a little rainforest back there, and I'm gonna
be growing food for our family that's filled with love
and care and not pesticide death.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
That got pretty fucking dark, That's how it feels. Yeah,
I am so I know that we've brought up the
ayahuasca shit a lot, and I'm not really trying to
harp on that or like push people to that. I
just between the ceremonies that we've done and going to
Costa Rica, it has fundamentally changed who we are as people. Yes,

(12:23):
and there's just no way around it. Like that there
was small catalysts that had been taking places, but like
it was such profound experiences that there's no going back
to who we were from before. Yes, and all of
those changes are slowly cementing their way into our lives
and becoming our new way of existence. Did you get it?

Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah, I'm so sorry about that. Guy. My lips have
been super chapped because we've been sick and just feel
it the skin's just sloughing off. Gross, and I don't
like it in my mouth.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
I don't like it when you use the word sloping
off into your mouth. Uh yeah. But you can see
it just in the last I don't know, twelve episodes
of the podcast. You can see the difference in our attire,
the way that we sit, the way that we carry ourselves.
My back is doing better, which is wild, because I

(13:16):
haven't done shit. I've been laying down like a lot
the last four days, even stretching. I haven't over the sickness.
I've just been laying there.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
I don't know. It must have been a fever dream
then maybe I was out of it a lot.

Speaker 2 (13:31):
I'm going to apologize now for the throat clearing.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
Oh yeah, we're gonna be making a lot of noises.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, it's disgusting, and I apologize, but it's still there,
and I can't make it not be, just because I
don't want it to be.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
All right, so we are twenty minutes in.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
I want to touch on one more thing.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
I am taking classes and I have started the path
to become a reiki master.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Is it reichi or reiki?

Speaker 3 (13:57):
So the western Western ees saying of it is breaky.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
So I'm teaching myself for iike, because if I want
to if I'm doing a practice, I want to say
it properly, not whatever adapted like croistant the uh.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
I foresee over the next six months the hatred of
us changing quite a bit, and I foresee a whole
lot of I can't believe they're becoming New Age continuing
because of the the changes in belief systems. Yeah, but
I don't think it's really a change in belief system

(14:38):
because we've always believed in energy. We've talked about that
a lot, right. I think that people are just going
to to hear things like that and go, oh, that's
that's devil worship. Energy is not real, and like they're
going to push that that narrative.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
I'm okay with.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
That, Okay. I'm just letting you know, like it's coming.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
The Lord sees me in my int than what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
Good.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
I still pray, so have my conversations with Jesus.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
I have cut out all soda. Yes, you have totally
changing the topic. Cut out all soda. I'm not even
drinking lemonade anymore.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
No.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
I bought a Brita filter water container and I am
just drinking water for the first time ever in my life,
which is totally not like me. And I only brought
that up because I realized you have a soda over there,
and I don't have my water, so I'm going to
get up and grab my water while I do that.
Do you want to get into your email inbox and
find an email to read? And would you like me
to it as I walk by.

Speaker 3 (15:37):
I already have it. I'm confused. Oh, open that my soda. Yes? Please.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
So we are normally recording live in front of our
Patreon audience because we don't have our internet. There's no
live streaming happening right now. The raw video that you
guys are going to get for Patreon is going to
have cuts because if there's kids names said in it,
or the interaction that we just had with the child,
I'm going to cut that out. So you guys aren't
going to get that. But we will still be uploading
the raw, unedited version of our lives. We just won't

(16:03):
be able to interact with you. I hate this.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
I don't like this. I like having the chat. Why
it feels like we're alone. Yeah, there is a void here, yep,
to add fuel to the fire of us being heretics.
There's an energy exchange that can happen at distance. So

(16:30):
even the people in the chat just typing their words
the way that we say our words, there's energy behind
that typing those words. There's that same energy there. That's
why negative, nasty messages hurt people's feelings, right, there is
a void in our energy. Yeah, there's not an exchange.
I mean, there's an exchange happening, but.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
This isn't about us anymore. Yeah, the podcast is about
the community that we've built, and that's why it feels
lacking right now because we don't have to one hundred
people in here hanging out with us while we do this.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
Yeah, you're ready to get into this first email? Yes,
So this thank you email is titled the Break was
Worth It and this was sent June's second. Okay, so
relatively recent grand Rising the christ and Peach first and foremost,
I want to always thank you both for putting in

(17:24):
the works so we have it a little easier with
your guidance guiding through mental hurdles to face independently, and
to remind us that even in our independence, it's okay
to lean and need support from your person and community.
Thank you for the endless effort. You are key people
that will always play a role in how I go
through life. That's such an honor. Yeah. I, as some

(17:49):
of you may know, I have women's groups. I do
one on one mentoring through a awakened women's group, and
every call, whether if it's with the group or with
one on one, it transitions through different phases, and the
ending phase is a is always gratitude, and I always
think everybody or the person that I'm working with for

(18:12):
allowing me to be in this position in your journey.
I feel like in the position we are, we are
the one of the make it or break it moments
for people.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
I think in a lot of cases we are. I
think when people are willing to sit down and dedicate
the time to our podcasts that they dedicate to our
podcast it's because they've exhausted all their options. Yeah, and
they are looking for that last like fiber of help.
Luckily for I guess us and them that people are
finding that help in our podcast.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
So yeah, So that comes with a lot of weight,
and it's not taken lightly to be in this position.
I twenty five female Dash s I don't know what
that means.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
Maybe sub maybe idea either yeah, single.

Speaker 3 (19:02):
It was single, that would make sense.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Starstruck, super duper.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
A slithery little snake sane. Uh twenty five female. We're
gonna assume single, born and raised in Maine, New England? Lol?
Why'd you have to do that?

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Because they pay attention to the podcast.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
I really thought it was a whole separate country.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
It's funny.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
That's still new information for me. Born and raised in Maine.
Did not have the best childhood, nor did my fiance.
Oh so she's not single. Thirty male dash tea. I
don't know what these mean. Is this how you're going
to refer to each other? I don't know. You moved

(19:54):
around a lot, but always found his way back here
because of his mom. I feel breaking down into our
child experiences is irrelevant. Never knew it until we got
together and talking. We were always short distances from each
other growing up, with not crossing paths until we were older.
There's a lot of coincidences interlaced in our story. We

(20:16):
first met while working together at a warehouse, picking slash
packing groceries for Shawls. It was hard labor and for me,
with my condition being carpal tunnel, it was hell. I
stopped order selecting and transferred to sanitation for the warehouse.
Tea had been working there for some time and was
good at it. Never noticed him when I first got there.

(20:38):
As I got to know him, it made sense as
he's on the more shy side. I was very unprofessional
in my first big girl job. Work Ethic and timeliness
has always been very important to me. Learning to say
no to the attention from all of the males that
worked there was the problem. I was the promiscuous girl

(21:00):
and it didn't take much to get their needs met.
I was filling voids in me that I didn't realize
was only forming the endless black hole avoid that I
only know how to close.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
What a profound statement.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, that not being able to turn down male attention
and being promiscuous is That's something I experienced in my
young adulthood. There was a lot of craving there due
to you know, broken household, father not being present.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
And.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
From my understanding, a lot of young women go through that.
Even if dad was present, there is a lack of
conversations happening in the household. A lack of worth placed
on us as temples right, as being sacred creatures, and

(22:00):
a lot of trauma can happen going through that phase.
I hate saying phase. It feels like that diminishes what
I'm trying to say. But that's the only thing coming
to my mind.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Well, I mean, phase is technically a proper term, but
it's not something that people just go through. It's some
things that people have to work through, not go through.
The attention thing feels good for everyone, so it's not
just a woman thing. People crave attention. They want to
be wanted and desired and fund validated, validated and needed

(22:34):
or like I feel like their presences is wanted in
a room. So to have a bunch of people giving
you that attention, it becomes addictive. It's like a drug
and you're constantly chasing that. That's why people become promiscuous.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
Life would have been so much easier if we are
just born with the knowledge. Yeah, I guess that's the
appeal of a human experience. Though. We get to learn
from our mistakes and we have free will.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, I think that the bad times make the good
times feel good. If you have nothing to compare your
good days too, to recognize that you were having a
good day. How would you recognize it as a good day?

Speaker 3 (23:16):
My goodness, that's duality.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
I'm grateful for all the shit that I've gone through.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, me too, I get that.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
So I have bad days that I can compare, like
you know, us standing on the beach in Costa Rica
and having that moment versus you know, me sitting in
my car crying with a gun in my lap. Like,
I know that duality. So I have things to compare
those really bad days too, and I have things to
compare my not so bad days too, Like today sucks,

(23:44):
but like does it? Really? It's just not that good.
But it definitely isn't that bad. So it's just a day, right,
It doesn't all have to be good or bad. Sometimes
it's just a day. Why did you grab the courage
to be disliked off my bookshelf?

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Is it because I haven't put it back yet?

Speaker 2 (24:01):
No, I saw it on the couch.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Okay, because that is this month's book for my Sacred
Sisterhood and I had to formulate this week's challenge.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
I think that that's probably one of the top five
most fundamentally life changing books I've ever read. Yeah, yeah,
so when it wasn't on the bookshelf and I saw
it on the couch, like, what does she do with
my book?

Speaker 3 (24:27):
Do you not remember the conversation we had when I
asked where was it? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (24:30):
I remember you asking where it was. Yeah, I don't
remember you asking if you borrow my shit. I'm just kidding,
I don't care.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
I thought that you saying, yeah, it's on my bookshelf,
go grab it was explicit consent.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
You asking where it was? Was the consent?

Speaker 3 (24:44):
All right back into the email. I was so sweet
in the beginning with the little things I've been yearning
for that I neglected to look at the whole picture.
He was in a relationship. I proceeded to pursue anyway
and hold it over his head. At the same time,
from the start, it wasn't right file people know what
they're doing.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
At least she admitted it, though. Yeah, most people will
manipulate like that and not admit that they know what.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Oh no, they'll victim blame these kinds of things. Me
saying that wasn't like a dig at her.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
No, I was just adding on to what you were saying.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
That she knew what she was doing was wrong, but
it scratched that little part of her brain that made
her feel good if she did it. Anyway, We've all
done something like that. Gosh, thinking back to my childhood.
Better to ask for forgiveness than there is permission.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
A lot easier. Yeah, deed's done.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
It's going to happen. I'm gonna get in trouble.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Been in trouble before, That's easy.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yeah, when you.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Think about it, when you think about what that is
as a kid, you really do learn to pay to
play principle. As a child, you can do whatever you
want to do as long as you're willing to pay
for the punishment of it. And at some point point
you realize the punishment can only get so bad. Yeah,

(26:03):
then you're free. So you realize that there's other things
than your parents that you can get in trouble with,
like the law.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
And yeah. Yeah, when I discovered self punishment, I didn't
care that people would get mad at me. I didn't
care that I was burning bridges and hurting people's feelings.
When it got to the point that I couldn't live
with myself at night knowing that I did these things
to these people, and I put myself in their shoes.

(26:29):
I can't pay that price.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
Living that way is suffocating, putting a plastic bag over
my own head. And it was very much out of
sight on the mind. I would do things that would
hurt people, or they would do things that would hurt me,
and I would hold it against them, and then once
they were out of my life, I didn't have to
see you anymore. I wouldn't think about it. That sin

(26:53):
is paid for in my mind. Enlightenment kind of sucks.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
It does. But you also get to keep in mind too,
that your role in people's lives has a big part
and where that lands too. You know what I mean.
If you're just a passerby, your life doesn't really impact
the lives of others. Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
Continuing the cute things consisted of meeting me at the
vending machine with a honeybun because he knew I got
one or two every day, having lunch together, spending early
mornings together before the day even started. It felt important
thinking I could overlook the biggest problem. At the time,

(27:33):
his ex found out and we were living together that
following week.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
Wow, it wasn't his ex when she found out. Yeah,
that escalated quick as fuck?

Speaker 3 (27:43):
Did? That makes me wonder what was going on in
his relationship? Right, Like, how long had he even checked out?

Speaker 1 (27:49):
For?

Speaker 3 (27:50):
Right?

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Must it must not? They must not have been living together. Yeah,
it must not have been a very long relationship. But
for it to go that quickly from you know them
just talking at work to the relationships over and she's
moving in Like, yeah, it's intense.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
Yeah, a lot of things are gonna bubble up, a
lot of insecurities, a lot of am I rebound? Is
this going to last? Of course, the honeymoon period is
going to be there, but as the relationship continues, maybe
even things from his past relationship that he hadn't processed yet.

(28:30):
And this isn't me like talking to the emailer. This
is me saying things out loud, so people in these
kinds of positions have things to chew on. Continuing. Yep,
he moved in with me and my grandmother. This occurred
late November of twenty nineteen. This time was rocky and
very shortly. My grandmother established she didn't like Tea and

(28:50):
wanted him out for her own reasons. To this day,
I don't understand I did make the mistake involving my family,
and any disagreements we had.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
I have to pause from it. It doesn't matter if you
understand why she doesn't want him there or not. It's
her house, right, People get this. Entitlement ownership is where
I was going to use. But entitlement works. You think
that because you live there, that it's your house. You
see it with teenagers all the time, this is my house. No,
it's not. It's not your house. You have a room

(29:22):
here because you're a minor, and it's my responsibility to
keep you alive. It's not your house, it's my fucking house.
I had to deal with that with my mom a
lot when I was growing up, Even like when I
went back, like I had left early on, and I
came back a couple of times, and I'd always assume
that where I was paying rent was my home, because
that's effectively that's what you're doing. You're paying rent for

(29:44):
a room to call that your home so that you
have a place to live, the reality of is that
you're renting a space. It's not your home. It's the bedroom.
Until it is your home, it's not your home. Yes,
So when you move in with other people, you have
your boyfriend and move in with you and other people.
You guys are fucking guests in somebody else's house. You

(30:04):
need to remember that shit and that entitlement needs to
be checked.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
Yes, I wanted to touch on I did make the
mistake of involving my family and any disagreements we had.
I'm not gonna make this into a big conversation. I
just want to say that that is one of the
biggest relationship ruiners you can find. It may not be
the relationship ending thing, but it will be a massive

(30:28):
catalyst leading into maybe I'm not the priority. If she's
talking to her family, who else is she talking to?
There's a lack of respect there.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
I would say it's in the top three things that
we get emails about.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
Yeah, we can do a whole episode on that if
it's requested.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
We've done several of them.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Yeah, we've been doing this for a while.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Yeah, the in law conversation has been on repeat for
three years now.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
Well, not just the in law conversation, but involving people
in your relationship.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, maybe we need to do another Friday episode where
it's a standalone conversation.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
Okay, continuing. We moved out in March of twenty twenty
and moved into our first apartment, not knowing anything that
is going to entail. When he first moved in in November,
I was facing a stomach problem that proceeded on for
four years with no diagnosis. The stomach problems would be debilitating,
making it so I couldn't work. Very unlike me to

(31:26):
have to completely depend on someone T and I pushed
through barely high tensions and no money, no direction, no
sense of hope for improvement. I'm five to two and
typically maintained between one hundred and thirty one hundred and
forty pounds, and in the sickness I got down in
ninety there was the roommate phase, not knowing that that

(31:49):
was the worst thing to occur. We didn't talk, We
did our routine and nothing new, no plans. Most plans
had to be canceled or I just wouldn't go due
to my stomach problem. I was getting better, but always
proceeding with caution, as I never knew what could happen
or even why it was happening. I found him cheating,

(32:12):
just how he was cheating when I got with him,
I should have seen it coming. We broke up that night,
not any of the other times when it should have happened,
the endless nights up, crying, screaming matches, slamming doors, threats, etc.
I have a lot of account for pushing Tea away.
I did not stick to my word that I won't
hurt you, I'll be here for you, I don't lie

(32:34):
to you. I did all of those. He found out
a year or two after being together that I had
been lying when he would confront me about having sex
with other people. In the very beginning, I had gotten
a phone number from a customer at work and would
spend my workdays texting him. I stopped working at the
warehouse due to my stomach problems working for Subway, the
job I had on and off since I was.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Eighteen, So she was also cheating.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
Right, I would ignore her. How many walk through the door,
denyh or completely disconnect from sex, not maintain the home
or make meals or participate in learning without a tantrum.
To some degree, I get it. I understand why a
relationship unraveled for the.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Worst love the accountability there.

Speaker 3 (33:15):
That is a lot of accountability.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
Does that sound like a relationship you'd want to be in? Though?

Speaker 3 (33:21):
No, it sounds like a massachist.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Sounds like a whole lot of nonsense, a lot of
a lot of trauma and people just existing to exist together.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Yeah, we weren't healthy, we weren't healed. I couldn't move
on from how we got together. I couldn't accept that
I was part of the problem. I shut down and
blew up no in between. I wasn't the woman I
aspired to be. I was the woman I told myself
I never wanted to be. When we broke up, I
moved in with my family and couldn't bring my cats.

(33:51):
We had an agreement that I would come back every
couple of days or so to take care of what
they needed and spend time with them. We didn't talk
or in her eye unless it was pertaining to the cats.
Talked civilly here and there. It sounds like a custody agreement,
it does.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
It also sounds like a very unclean household.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
I've owned cats. Yeah, I'm not somebody that can allow
the cat box to go with a day without being cleaned.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
That was a multiple times a day.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah, because as soon as they would go to the bathroom,
I clean the fucking cat box.

Speaker 3 (34:23):
Yeah. Not trying to have that sitting there.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah, ammonia smell or shit smell you no fuck that.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
We talked civilly here and there over time. Within the
month and a half, we were talking like friends again
every couple of days, talking like how we used to
in the beginning. We both lived our own lives and
talked to hey, talked to and hung around other people. Okay, hang,
I want to pause. But you said we were talking
how we used to in the beginning when you guys

(34:51):
were forming a relationship. So is this you being promiscuous
with a guy because he's feeding your attention meter even
though you just had a horrible relationship. Or were you
being friendly with each other, no flirting, talking about life stuff.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
It's a good question. Okay, this is email.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
Yes, we're getting a lot from it.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
I was doing the hard work that was avoiding all
these years, unpacking my trauma on my own with a
support of friends and family. I returned to working out
and putting myself first. Tea started to look at me differently,
talk to me differently. Things started to shift as I
shifted my focus on myself. I looked different, brighter, lighter, gentle.

(35:38):
T was putting himself first for the first time time
with himself, with people that he loves and any cares about.
T was putting his life first, and that's admirable and
worth a mention that he always put himself on the
back burner. He took and still takes the time he
needs to heal and improve himself. That will always be
a beautiful thing to be a part of and witness.

(36:00):
About two months in, he messaged me that he really
needs company after too many mushrooms. Yeah, we spent the
night talking, just hanging out. We never slept. This was
the night we made the impulse decision to take a
trip to Boston, Massachusetts. We don't make Yeah, we don't
make big decisions when we're under the influence.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
You don't make big decisions for a couple of weeks
after big trips. Yeah like that. They even even in
like ceremonial purposes. Afterwards, they tell you not to make
big decisions for at least a month. Yeah, Yeah, that's funny.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
I hope it went well. We'll see.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
But I want to point out that they started getting
close when she started taking care of for mental health.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
People don't want to be around sick, depressive people, and
there's a difference between being sick and being sick and depressive. Yes, right,
if she's oh, I can't my stomach, my stomach, my stomach,
I can't my stomach all the fucking time. People don't
want to hear that shit. That's a you problem, and
that's a hard fucking thing to hear, because you want

(37:07):
your person to be there for you. My back problem
is a me problem. We still went ziplining, You still
jumped off of a waterfall. I still did everything that
you wanted to do in Costa Rica. At least I
was there. Yeah, I was in fucking pain, but I
made a choice, and like you would see me stretch,
and unless you asked me what was going on, I

(37:27):
very rarely complained about the pain I was in unless
something happened. I'm like, oh, you know what I mean,
that's gonna happen from time to time. People don't want
to be around people who are like that all the time.
If your life is normal and you were having people
around you constantly bring you down, it disrupts the momentum
of your day, yes, and it starts to weigh on you.

(37:51):
So I'm glad that she started going to the gym.
I'm assuming she fixed her diet, which probably helped her stomach.
Gut health is related to your mental health. Physical health
is really related to your mental health. So she started
becoming a happier, better person. He saw it and was like, Oh,
this is the woman that I was with. We're back. Yeah,
there's the attractiveness that I missed. Like, yeah, I'm willing

(38:11):
to bet that's what happened. I feel like I would
be remissed if I didn't say that. I'm not saying
you're going to have issues in life. How you handle
those issues in life will dictate the outcome of your life.
So if you have a stomach issue or a back problem,
or you know, BPD or whatever it is that you have,
if you let that become you and you live your

(38:35):
life based off of that, you're going to have a
shitty existence. I don't want people to think that I'm
just shitting on people who have illnesses. No, I'm shitting
on your mindset. Yes, there's a difference, because your mindset's
a fucking choice. Yeah, your illness is not. Okay, Okay,
I said what I said. I'm tired, ready for a nap?

Speaker 3 (38:58):
Yeah, I'm ready for lunch. They decided to go to Boston.
It had been a long time, so we went. This
was September tenth of twenty twenty three, also the day
that we got back together. Shortly after that we slowly
rolled living back together. Some nights I would be with
my family, some nights I was with tea.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Good. You took your time this time.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Yes, things were better, smoother, clearer, knowing what the other
one needs, learning how we got into the previous situation,
and packing the hard things actively listening to each other.
When problems would come up, we would talk about it.
It might take me a couple of hours and a
bucket of tears, but I'll eventually get there. I wasn't

(39:41):
allowed to talk growing up. Learning how to communicate as
an adult is my biggest challenge. We moved into a
new apartment and made the promise this is a clean
slate from the last couple of years. All is forgiven
and learned from. If you're going to forgive, you can't
bring it back up later. This is the beginning of
the rest of our lives, so it's important to do
the work.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Do you want to talk about that forgiveness and bringing
it back up later?

Speaker 3 (40:05):
We can.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
I agree with her, but I disagree with her. Okay,
there's how you bring it up matters, talking about the
past and hurts and transgressions and things like that as normal.
It's part of your history, it's part of who you are.
It's helped shape you into the person you've become. Using
it in conflict or using it to hurt your other

(40:27):
person or to start fights to get gained attention like
that is the problem. We talk about previous situations all
the time with us. I mean, it's part of our
fucking job. But they don't feel like attacks anymore, you
know what I mean? They feel like learning experiences. And
if you can't talk about those experiences, how are you

(40:50):
going to learn from them? You know, putting covering it
up with sand like cat turd and you know, just
because of the cat thing, and trying to forget that
it's does it's there, you know, it doesn't exist anymore
or whatever doesn't make it go away. It still has
to be cleaned up.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
Right. You can't heal from things if you ignore them.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
To right, right, there's lessons that have to be learned.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yeah, the work is intimacy in all facets, the little
touches in passing, engaging each other, engaging in each other's hobbies,
taking care of each other and asking for it. No
one is a mind reader being interested in each other
and what we have to say or think. No phone
dates are the best dates.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Oh yes they are. I read something this morning that
said that in seventy two hours of a phone detox,
your brain rewires itself and it changes the pleasure centers
in your brain and the way that you respond to stimuli.
It reduces anxiety, stress, and depression. I think that at
least once a week people should be doing a phone detox. Yeah,
it doesn't have to be for the full seventy two hours.

(41:53):
We guys should be disconnecting from that shit.

Speaker 3 (41:56):
This is easy, This is smooth, This is peaceful. This
is still the person I fell in love with. It's
a special type of love, knowing that we put all
the effort in ourselves for each other to where we
are now engaged on September first, twenty twenty four and
planning on the next steps businesses, house, family. It's so easy. Hey, babe,

(42:18):
do you have a moment to listen to something that's
bothering me? And it's met with love and compassion, curiosity,
and understanding.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
I love that. God, I love that.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
I don't advise anyone to remain in a relationship that
doesn't work for them, especially if their life is in danger.
Our relationship is our relationship with a reflection of what
we thought was normal for growing up being very toxic relationships.
We made the promise to ourselves and each other to
always improve for greatness and take the necessary steps to

(42:48):
achieve that. If that means pausing the conversation because we
want to yell, we will. If writing it out is
better than talking, we will to be the couple we
want our future children to show drive for slow dances
in the kitchen, taking the effort to wait for each
other at home with hugs and kisses, small gestures and
gifts throughout the weeks, love letters, helping clean up, swapping meals,

(43:13):
or spitting it up because we like what we ordered,
or spitting it because we like what we ordered. I
don't because we didn't like what we ordered. I don't understand.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
That's probably the they spit it out because we didn't
like it. I don't know. That was a very odd statement.
It was odd to my ears. Yeah, probably told probably
made total sensor when she typed it though.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
The agreements love, respect, honesty, transparency, love for each other
and ourselves, sticking to our word, lean into love. When
tensions get high, ask for more reassurance or intimacy, being
a pillar when life is heavy. The coincidences, it doesn't

(43:54):
look right. I just I hate it when words don't
look like the way they sound. It just doesn't compute
in my brain. I am far too literal thinking for
coincidences to start with coin.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
It wants.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
Okay, our moms have the same birthday one twenty six.
We have matching tattoos of their birthdays. We always lived
a block apart growing up. His best friend was my
brother's childhood best friend. I knew his birthday three years
before I ever met him. So I want to pause there.

(44:33):
I don't believe in coincidences. So there are synchrono synchronosities.
This was the universe putting you guys in each other's paths,
and you just were too stubborn to catch on. Early on,
everything was meant to be. The things are aligned continuing.

(44:54):
Thank you Peach, specifically for guiding a young woman and
showing what it means to be there for her husband.
From a girl that didn't have a mom or any
healthy women figure to look up to the importance of
being presentable, keeping the home clean, and are blah blah
blah cut that keeping the home clean and a pleasurable

(45:16):
place to be self care is very important. To be
there for the ones you love. Continually dating your partner
is key to avoiding the roommate phase. Thank you Belle
being the soft landing for your husband to be grateful
and lighthearted, to not hold hatred or envy. Thank you
once again, Chris and Peach for being who you are,

(45:37):
for being for doing what you do. Never stop following
what feels true to you. You are the guiding lights
in the darkness. T and S. Thank you for taking
the time to read this. Can't wait to listen. What
an email?

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Yep. A lot of accountability there, that's growth now.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
A lot of it. This is great. I love the setup.
These chairs are so nice.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
I was actually just thinking these are way more comfortable
than I remember them. I don't remember them being so wide.
I feel like, and I know that I'm bigger now
than I was before, so like it shouldn't feel so big,
but like I can totally sit comfortably folded up in
this chair.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
I like this, all right, so I pick the one
that caught my eyeballs. Papers. They need to move. My
hips are hurting so.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Much for being comfortable.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
Oh golly gosh, Oh it's my hips on my lower back.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah, they've been getting getting shots in my toes this
whole time. The beauty of recording at home is aunts
to put shoes on.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
All right, I try my best. You guys, get a little.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Okay, somebody's gonna gi a sticky keyboard because your feet
are on screen.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
Ah, please pay me for it.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Yeah, join our Patreon. Fucking perverts.

Speaker 3 (46:59):
This is titled AI Erotic role Play.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Oh jesus, I don't know if I'm ready to start
having these kind of conversations because this is going to
start becoming a normal thing.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
Yeah, yes it is. You know they have developed apps,
apps for AI girlfriends and boyfriends to talk to. I know, yeah,
I know. I would view that as cheating.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
There's actually a whole ass movement of people who are
dating AI because they're getting their needs met from an
artificial creature without having to deal with the bullshit that
people bring them.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
It's a thing I feel like the Lord feels a
certain way about that.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
I feel a certain way about that.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
The Holy Spirit's unsettled inside of me. Okay, getting into
the email. I've been a listener for a while and
your honest, compassionate takes on tough relationship topics have helped
me feel less alone. So thank you for that. I
wanted to share something I've been struggling with in my
relationship and I'd really love your thoughts.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
What a pleasant thing to say, you're compassionate take on relationships. Yeah,
I needed that.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
Yeah, yep, I'm glad you got that.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
Yep. I needed that. So tired of people calling me
an asshole. It's starting to weigh on me.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
And I understand that it's clips and it's social media
and TikTok. I understand that the clippers that we have
clipping content are doing their jobs, but it makes me
look like a fuck face and I don't enjoy it.
It's not who I am as a person. And when
you take a conversation and like all of that gets
condensed into one thing and I'm saying some offhanded shit

(48:41):
because you don't know the context of the conversation. Of course,
I'm going to look at fucking asshole. I don't want
you know what I mean, Like, I actually want them
to start using two to three minute clips so that
full context is being had not Anyways, Okay, that was
just nice to hear.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
A few months ago, I had unintentionally discovered that my
husband's been chatting with custom made AI bots and engaging
in sexual conversations. He calls it erotica slash porn.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
It is. It's also fucking weird. Yeah, and I'm not
judging him for it and saying that he's weird because
of it. I think it's weird that people are using
AI for that, Like it's such a base desire. AI
can do a lot.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
Yeah, I view it as a very low IQ desire
to be using something like that, very simplistic, animalistic.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
Primal, primal, I think animalistic. I think both of those
are probably better than low IQ. I think that it
applies to our lizard brains based desires. Derek just texted me, Yeah,
I have a friend.

Speaker 3 (49:55):
I love that for you, babe. I didn't open his
chats or dig. I was looking for websites to create
custom bots for storytelling and had been auto signed into
a website and hadn't noticed I saw there were chats
already available. I saw the preview of the message and
realized I was on an already made profile. The username

(50:18):
was my husband's tag. As soon as I realized I
was breaching as privacy, I backed out of the page
and talked to my partner about it when I saw him.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Okay, I mean I love that. I understand that it's
not the ideal situation for them, but the fact that
she handled the way that she did. I respect the
fuck out of that.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
Yeah, okay, I do things like that too.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
Yeah, Like there were times like the other day I
did our daughter's pigtails in your computer chair. If I
sat at your computer and something opened up that you
were logged into, I don't care what it is. I'm
not looking at it, like unless you have talked to
me about it, or it's you're looking at a car.
I'm not digging into your things like that.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
Well, I appreciate it, Yeah, I have. Our privacy between
the two of us is virtually non existent, So it's
that's not something I'm really ever concerned about. I gotta
be honest, if you ever see me turn my phone away,
it's because I'm buying you something. And I want you
to see it, like, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Yeah, did you ever think that you would get to
that point in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
I didn't think i'd ever get to half of where
we're at in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (51:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Yeah, life is wild. I love you too. I've been
very emotional since I started fasting and getting sick, and
I don't know, Like, I got my labs back last night,
and I'm definitely having some liver shit going on. And

(51:55):
I'm waiting to hear back from Atrix to have like
my results read. But my hormones are where my hormones
should be. They're not optimal, but they're in range. So
I think that a lot of it is the diet change. Yeah,
and like the lifestyle changes that are happening. I'm becoming
a much I can't say I'm a calmer person because

(52:15):
there are still things that get me riled up fucking quick.
But I'm working on those two. I don't know, I'm
very emotional. I guess it's really just that's where the
statement could have ended.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
The rest of that was relevant, Well, I think it
is relevant. You're you're changing the chemistry of you.

Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yeah, did you see the messages from Taylor last night.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
I did not.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
She said that she's going to go to ceremony in
October and that she would like to come and stay
with us after ceremony. Okay, so we have to build
the mand cave out into a space. So at some
point over the next week we need to go out
there and measure and start buying furniture, and then we
can host people here. Derek can come down for a while.
You know, people can come and stay for a week
or two and leave. They won't they won't be in

(52:56):
the house. They'll have their own space.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
You know you wanted to to host buff Bell and
her husband. They could come down and visit Florida for free.
It's not like they would be here. They have their
own bathroom. You know, it's just a thought. I know
it would be harder for them than for somebody like Taylor,
but yeah, they got kids.

Speaker 3 (53:14):
I'm excited about ordering furniture because that means I can
sneak in things for the house.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
You don't have to sneak in anything. You have your
own like ability to buy and do.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
I feel guilty still? Yeah, yeah, I still do this
thing like I have my own credit card. You pay off.
You let me know when it's paid off. You have
never once said, don't spin on the credit card after
I pay this off.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
It's yeah, No, they've actually raised your limit now too.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
They did. They raise my credit limit. I'm so excited
about that. So, for those of you who may not know,
I had an amazingly high credit court, credit score, limit,
credit card limit whatever. I was in the eight hundreds.
And I threw my credit score away from my last marriage.
I was not smart about it and got low, dropped

(54:08):
it low. My ass hit the floor. Like, and I
have my first credit card after years of trying to
work on my credit and get things better, and they
started me off at seven hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
Yeah, well you you technically have cards that have no
limits on it. Yeah, because I've put you as signers
on all all of my big datas, which has helped.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
So but this is my first one by myself, will
not not my first one after repairing my credit and
getting to a more stable point of my life, and
they've raised me to two two hundred and fifty dollars.
I want to spend all of it, but I'm trying

(54:54):
to be responsible. And like every time I spend money.
I try not to go over like one hundred and
fifty dollars in the cart because I could go hogwild.
And next thing, I know, my credit cards maxed out
in two days. And you're like, you can't be doing
this moderation. Accidentally logged into website, saw it was a

(55:16):
husband's backed out for privacy, confronted him after taking accountability
for or disrespecting his privacy, whether intentional or not. I
explained to him that I felt betrayed and that it
felt like cheating to me. Yes, ma'am, we are on
the same boat.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
I'm cure. Okay, So there's a conversation that needs to
be There's a lot of conversations that need to be had.
I'm not going to get tied up in all of this.
Actually just keep going because I don't want to what
if and then it be the scenario?

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Okay. He thought that I was being ridiculous. I was
made to feel like my feelings weren't valid because I
had invaded his privacy. And he said that it's silly
to him because it's just cornography.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Okay, So that's where we pause, because I knew he
was going to do that. If somebody says to you,
you're a fucking cheater. That's a definitive statement in their opinion, right, Right,
somebody says to you, what you just did hurt me
and made me feel like it's infidelity, or however she

(56:21):
worded that.

Speaker 3 (56:22):
She said, it felt like it was cheating.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
But it felt like it was cheating. She's not accusing
him of cheating. She's telling him that his actions felt
that way to her. Yes, So, regardless of what his
intent was or regardless of what was actually going on,
that's how it made her feel.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
Right.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
It's very hard when somebody comes to you with that
you did something that you were doing for your own pleasure, right,
because that's what he was doing, Yes, and tells you
that that felt like infidelity. Of course he's going to
try to like downplay it and talk himself out of
that because he doesn't want to take ownership for the
fact that something that he did behind closed doors for

(57:02):
his own pleasure right now has created a rift and
hurt his person because one, he probably didn't think he
was gonna get caught doing it. Two, it's artificial. It's
not even real, babe. It's like reading a playboy. I'm
never going to meet these people. Blah blah, blah blah blah.
You can have all the arguments you want. The reality
is you doing this feels like infidelity to me. It

(57:22):
may not have felt that way to you, but it
does to me, and it hurt me. That's the conversation
that needs to be had. And if that conversation is
not had and he continues to brush that off and
is not willing to change that behavior, she is going
to have to give up who she is and concede
can see is probably not the right word, I'm gonna

(57:47):
use it anyways. To his wants and desires, she's going
to have to give up of herself and the want
to have a monogamous, loving relationship where sex is a
sacred thing between two people, so that he can have
it with a learning robot. Because he didn't want to

(58:09):
hear what she said. He only wanted to hear what
he did.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
And then defend himself against Right.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Guys, you're adults, yes, right, You're not going to get
in trouble the way you got in trouble as a kid.
And if you learn to listen to what's being said,
you can have an honest conversation about shit, That honest
conversation looks a whole lot fucking different, and you're not
going to fight as much.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
Right. Chronography has never bothered me. I've never gotten upset
or given him hell for self pleasuring or watching. So
learning that could have been comforting if we had been
having sex even semi regularly. But for the last several months,
we were having sex maybe once a month, and I

(58:53):
was always the one to initiate it.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
During his needs are being met elsewhere. This is the
problem with pornography. Pornography, I'm not doing that anymore. Oh no, nope,
I don't give a fuck if they do monetize a
video because we say the word. It's not like YouTube
is pushing us in an algorithm anymore. Yeah, so I'm
done with that. Okay, yeah, maybe hell yeah made that decision.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
Can I say cunt to ah?

Speaker 2 (59:20):
I have power?

Speaker 3 (59:26):
I really just I feel I felt like my vibrations
level increased a little bit. Thank you for that. I
can see why you guys are having sex maybe once
a month and why he's not initiating. He has completely
changed his brain chemistry. Yep, you no longer do it
for him, even if he wanted you to he has

(59:47):
fried his brain. During a huge blow up argument about this,
he said things like sex is just boring to him.
He has a low sex drive. This has been a
problem with every woman he's been with. It always ends
up being a problem.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Because he gets bored he's using Okay, we've had that
conversation thousands of times. Yeah, maybe not thousands, hundreds for sure, though.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
I would say thousands on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
Yeah, well, we only have maybe a thousand episodes.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Right, but we have a lot of conversations in those episodes.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
We started off with the Amish today.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
That's true, although I think that's the second time we've
ever talked about the Amish on the podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
Really, yeah, we should talk about them more. Have you
had their pies? I have? Oh my gosh, there's that
place in Sarasota.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
We should go to Montana. I know that's not really
relevant to the Amish conversation, but you mentioned pie and
it made me think of their rhubarb pie. That this
is a really big deal up there. Yeah, anyway, let's
get back to the email.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
I totally felt shut down, shut out, misunderstood, et cetera.
The way the whole fight ended was basically with me apologizing.
What are your guys's opinions on using AI for interactive erotica?

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
How about what is our opinions on having a conversation
with your partner being shut down in and apologizing for
talking about the things that make you unhappy? I think
that's a much bigger conversation. Sounds like gas lighting, sounds
like a whole lot of things.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
That sounds like increase narcissistic tendencies on his ends. I'm
not calling him a narcissist. I'm calling him selfish, a
lot of manipulation.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Yeah, that's the issue in your relationship. Don't get me wrong.
The porn fucking AI thing is definitely a problem. Yeah,
But the fact that you went to your partner about
something and you ended up having to apologize, You had
to apologize because you came to him about something that
was bothering you in your relationship that he did.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
That he has control over.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
Yeah, there's a bigger problem.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Now, that could be their communication, could be the way
that it was laid out, It could be a whole
lot of things. We weren't there for the actual conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
Right, her saying her intentions behind, and the conversation is
different from how it was set.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
In the moment, right absolutely, right now.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
If she said it verbatim the way she typed it out,
she approached it best, best way possible, best case scenario.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
Right. Well, this is also after the fact, in living
in the conversation versus in an emotional mindset, we was
bothering her.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
So that's why I said, if that's the way she
did it, yep, what are we gonna say?

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
So we should actually answer her question. I just wanted
to point that out.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
Okay, I I don't think you're overreacting.

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
I don't either.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
I think a lot of people would believe you're underreacting.
The Grimlin in me would be setting things on fire. Figuratively,
this relationship would be on massive fire, and we are
calling the next four counties over to try and get
firemen out here to get this ship under control.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
You better get the leon's in here. For all of
those who watched Fire Country, I'm sorry I couldn't just
let that go.

Speaker 3 (01:02:59):
Body body, I wanted to say, boone fucking body. He
infuriates me because he doesn't listen, but he's really good
at saving lives. Yes, he's the doctor Phil of the
fire world.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
That's funny.

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
I have been in that relationship where I have been
that was my first marriage. Yeah, I would have to
apologize for bringing something up because now he feels bad
about what happened. I have also been that person. How
dare you bring up the thing that I did that
I knew would hurt your feelings? Now you're making me
feel bad about it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
I think everybody's been in that position. Nobody wants to
be the reason that they hurt somebody, Right, And that's
that's where the ego stops, the acknowledgment happens, and then
go okay, moving forward, how do we prevent this? Because
if I've done it once and I know it hurts you,
I can avoid this in the future. Right, you said
something a minute ago, and I don't know if it
was something she said or something that you said about

(01:04:03):
how people feel like she might be overreacting or underreacting.
I said that, Who gives a fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Yeah, how do you feel.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
That your feelings are yours? They're valid. If something doesn't
make you feel right, you need to fucking speak on it. Yeah,
because if you don't, it's not gonna change. And If
you bring this to your person and he's like, this
is a you fucking problem and I can't believe you
did that, and then you end up apologizing for expressing
your feelings, that's a much bigger fucking problem happening here.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
Yeah, I also believe apologies need to happen. When there
was a slight done, I knew that was gonna happen.
I did it anyway. I'm sorry. I see your perspective.
I understand what I did hurt your feelings. My apologies
all correct it in the future. You were doing something

(01:04:54):
completely innocent, getting onto a shared computer trying to figure
out something for storytelling, and it auto signed in because
of his actions. He was truly trying to be sneaky
about that shit. It wouldn't be auto signing in, right,
So I bet he probably felt like an idiot.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
I wonder if you bet. He may have also just
not thought it was a problem. Yeah, she's okay with
him watching porn s, So how is this any different?
Infidelity is infidelity period, him not taking care of you
in the bedroom and taking care of himself in the bathroom.
The only difference now is he's got an interaction that's happening.

(01:05:39):
So there's a mental stimuli happening as well as a
physical one.

Speaker 3 (01:05:42):
The only difference now is that he prefers it over her.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Yeah. Well, and it's been like that with every relationship
he's been in.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
And it's not all those sex drive right, because that's
what he said. If it was a little sex drive,
he wouldn't be on the internet looking at porn.

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
If he wasn't interested in sex, he wouldn't be watching it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:01):
A low sex drive.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
Yeah, it's fibbing through his teeth.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
Yeah, let's call it what it is. You prefer the
digital that you can control and manipulate, like you're doing
in our conversation right now, versus the actual sexy time
that you could have with a loving, warm bodied woman.

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
I would not accept this, and I also see, but
I'm not gonna accept pornography. I am somebody who believes
that if my crazy is going to show for a second.
I don't mean this, babe, I'm just saying this to
get my point across. If I cash my husband lestfully
looking at another woman, thy right eye has offended thee.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
We are not the made school.

Speaker 3 (01:06:44):
So that's just to get my point across. I do
believe that lustfully looking at another person is chooting on
your partner?

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
Yeah, the intent that's behind it for sure, right, I
think taking I think there's levels to it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:00):
Think there's levels to it, So I need you to elaborate.

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
I think by nature, we are designed to find things
beautiful or attractive or appealing, and that's gonna vary from
object to object, thing to thing, person to person, however
you want to view that. There are gonna be times
where I can see a tream bike master really good
looking tree, right, and there's times like that tree is
fucking dying de cane and gross. It's gonna that's across

(01:07:24):
the board. So having a quick moment of something and
appreciating for something the way that it is and just
moving past it is very different than looking at something
and going damn, I'd like to beat the brakes off that.
So there are levels to all of it, and I
think that going you know, you hear. We've talked about that.
Early in the podcast. We talked about the phrase I
can look at the menu even though I'm on a diet.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
Right, that's the next evolution of that. The evolution beyond
that would be pornography. Evolution after that would be emotional
cheating and trying to find people to fill the fantasies
of the people that they're watching in pornography. All of
it's cheating, but there are levels to it. This also
speaks to the level of that blurred line. When you
have the this is the line that shall not be crossed,

(01:08:10):
and you get really close to that line, it doesn't
seem like it's that bad anymore because you're on the line.
You can justify We've talked about this. You can just
a whole, a whole lot of shit when you're on
that line, and that line is no longer crisp and bold.
Now it's dirty and stained, and it's not really there anymore.
You can step over it's not I mean, you're already
on the line. What's another three feet right? And it

(01:08:30):
just continues. It's it's a fucking cascading effect of foul shit.
I don't know, there's a It's why, it's why I'm
I'm very much How do I word this? It's why
I am so anti porn It's why I don't look
at the menu even though I'm on a diet. It's

(01:08:51):
why I don't have the lustful looks and wants in
conversations with people. It's it's a reason that I have
closed myself off to a whole lot of the world
in those aspects because I don't want to ever have
that line get close and then they get blurred, and
I think that there's nothing wrong with being cautious. I've
gotten flack over this. People on TikTok and I think

(01:09:14):
Instagram have actually ripped me apart, saying that I have
no self control because I can't have an appropriate relationship
with the opposite sex. I can, but if I know
the stove is hot, why would I want to put
my hand next to it? Because I could get burned? Right?
I'm maybe I like to err on the side of caution. Right.

(01:09:34):
I have a really good life. I love my woman.
Why would I want to do things that I know
is going to put me in a jeopardizing situation? The
situation that they're in. He knew what he was doing,
why he got mad when she broached his privacy?

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
Right The PS says, I wanted to see what y'all
thought about this. Also, at one point mid conversation, my
husband offered for me to his chats if it would
make me feel better. I thought about it for a
few minutes and accepted the offer. He immediately backpedaled and
said he would only do that under duress.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
What the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
He very clearly states, I'll resent you for it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
Yeah, so he's manipulating you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:10:16):
That whole thing was manipulation, trying to get her to
just stop fighting.

Speaker 3 (01:10:19):
Yeah. I told him, never mind. I don't want control
and resentment. I want transparency and connection. I would not
be in a relationship with this guy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
That says a lot about his character. Yeah, holy shit,
does it say a lot about his character.

Speaker 3 (01:10:34):
It's gross.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
Yeah, that's a lot. That would have made things worse. Yeah,
both of both things, him her reading it and then
him backpedaling like that would have both made things worse.

Speaker 3 (01:10:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:10:48):
So the only opportunity there, the only real situation there,
was that he was offering it, trying.

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
To thinking that she would say no because it had
upset her more, right, And.

Speaker 2 (01:10:58):
Then he would be like, well, I offered to let
you read it. You didn't want to. I don't. I
don't know, I don't, I don't. Guys, this is one
of those things that you don't get fucking wrapped up
in you just don't. If you're not getting your needs
met sexually and you need more from your partner, you
need to have the conversations with it, and it's not
going to be a fun conversation. And I gotta be honest,

(01:11:21):
in most situations, I think those conversations are gonna get
turned round on you because sexual intimacy is a two
way street and you can say I need or want
this from your person all day long, but if you're
not trying to initiate and get those things, it doesn't
matter because telephones work both ways, and that's what's going
to happen in your intimacy, and you're gonna end up
having things turned back around on you. But in our relationship,

(01:11:41):
if I needed some fucking crazy, aggressive or kinky or
whatever was needing to like fill that need in me,
I would just tell you that's what I want. And
if you were like, I don't want that, and I'm like, well,
can we schedule that shit soon? Because I got a
craving I don't understand what the problem is we have.

(01:12:02):
We can do that with dinner. I don't want I
don't want pizza tonight, Well I do, okay, Well can
we do it? Tomorrow, Like, how is that any fucking different? Right,
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:12:13):
I don't have anything else on that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
I don't either. I think that her man is very manipulative. Yeah,
and I think that that's a much bigger problem than
the porn thing.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
I think that this is a wonderful accident.

Speaker 3 (01:12:29):
The universe trying to give you signs.

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
Yeah, Yeah, you just stumbled onto something that opened a
whole lot of fucking doors. And these these doors can
either be worked on or it can show you the
type of man that you're living with, and like you're
gonna have to figure life out from there. But there's
a lot going on in that.

Speaker 3 (01:12:44):
Yeah, I'm not willing to duel on something like this
for the next fifteen years and just accept it because
he thinks that it's not cheating. Hey, guys, a little
quick interruption. If you're enjoying the content, please leave alike,
and also don't forget to comment. Enjoy interacting with you
guys and hearing your opinions and it helps the algorithm.

Speaker 2 (01:13:03):
It's also free to do, and if you really want
to help make sure the show continues to do, hit
the subscribe button and share the content across your social
media's it costs you nothing and it greatly helps the show.
I don't have anything else.

Speaker 3 (01:13:15):
Okay, do you want to do another email? Do you
want to?

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
It's we're hour and thirty five in before cuts, so
I have to get my van to the dealership, or
not to the dealership, but to Jordan because of the vinyl.
I think we should go do that. You got a
woman's call at three. I think we should just wrap
up and call it a day.

Speaker 3 (01:13:31):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:13:31):
And we got done right around noon, which is what
we wanted. So we were proving now that our schedule
can work this way. Yeah, and that was with us
dicking around this morning.

Speaker 3 (01:13:39):
Yeah, so we got to walk in and work out
in this morning too. Showers.

Speaker 2 (01:13:42):
We also bullshit it on the couch for a little bit. Yeah, yeah,
go team. Yeah, we're doing the thing all right. Guys.
As always, we hope you enjoyed the podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:13:51):
We made it for you.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
You remember this time. As always, you are the author
of your own life. The grab a pen and we
will see you on the next one.

Speaker 3 (01:13:58):
By guys,