VOTb Marriage comes first

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back, guys. I am going to be doing an
episode of Voice of the Broken. I've not done one
of these in a while. Today it will be just me.
Dead Eye is not going to be recorded with me
tonight because I didn't even give him a heads up
that I was doing this. Peters and I took a
down day and I'm fucking bored out of my mind.
So instead of reaching out trying to get him to
run to the studio and work all the logistics out,
I decided to just come to us by myself. It's

(00:20):
been a while since I've done one of these, so
and it's actually the first one that I've done since
we've been here. Because of this, I think in the
studio or in the back of the house. But I
have got a twenty three page email here from one
of our Patreon members, and this was sent in on
July fourth, So it's been sitting for a hot minute.

(00:40):
I haven't gotten to these emails because part of me
hasn't wanted to do this. There's been a part of
me that it's been on the fence about whether or
not I was even going to continue doing them. But in
talking with Jade to day on the phone. He asked
that I continue to do these because he gets a
lot of benefit from them. So we're going to run
this all right. I'm now finally a member of Patreon.
During one of the times, during one of the times,

(01:02):
getting into one of the chats, Chris challenged me to
write my story. It might be messy writing it is
hard for me lol. So here it is my story. Man,
were to start, I'll just tell you the main parts
and the hard parts. I guess. My life has been
a chaotic mess. Grew up in a five bedroom house
with fifteen people. Holy shit, there's a lot of bad
shit that happened growing up there, not just for me,

(01:23):
but for one of my cousins as well. But that's
her story to tell. I was physically abused by my aunt,
which put a lot of work into getting through that
trauma and have fully forgiven her. We get along now.
She and my uncle are very also, very much supportive
of saving my marriage. That's awesome. During my childhood in
this house, I struggled finding my place in the world.

(01:46):
Was a cutter and just awkward. During part of the
later years in this house, my grandparents got me into
art classes. As I enjoyed being artistic. They pleaded a
key role in that side of me now due to
the constant abuse growing up, also learned from my dad
to work for the things I want now, due to
the constant abuse growing up, I've also learned from my

(02:07):
dad to work for the things I want at a
young age. It's a very weird sentence. I want to
go back to the cutting thing. I have to drust
my body real quick to hang on. I want to
go back to the cutting thing. The cutter thing is
one of those things that's not normally an acceptable thing
for men. That is something that you mainly see in women,
young women, teenagers, and it's always enough that we can

(02:30):
that it can be used to gain attention or it
is a cry for help. People who do it and
like actually hide it hide. It is a whole whole
different conversation. But I understand the cutting aspect because though
cutting is not something that I would have ever done,
getting tattooed was. And that's why I'm covered the way

(02:50):
that I am because I started tattooing myself when I
was very very young, So I get the the self
harm aspect from that. So going back to the email,
so I got a job cutting Christmas trees down for
the seasonal shops with my friend's family company. Picture me,
my best friend and my best friend at the time,
thirteen years old with chainsaws. Times were wild. Met my cousin,

(03:13):
and I actually cleared out over twenty acres of land
over summer vacations with an old beat up Foard pickup
truck and whatever we could use. Times were very different.
They're very very different. The following year, I had told
my dad I was interested in learning about Jesus in
the Bible, so we went to church and I found

(03:33):
a U center that I enjoyed. Some of my favorite
memories of my dad and friends are from these times.
Now I'm curious, did your dad go with you to church?
Was this something he was into or was this a
bonding experience for the two of you, because that would
have been pretty dope. Now. At the beginning of junior year,
I voiced I wanted to join the Marines, and then
that started the process of joining the military after school.
Towards the end of my junior year, I was walking

(03:54):
home from school with my group of friends. Crossing the street,
I got hit by a fellow student who completely blew
a stop sign and ran. My friend to this day
swears I nailed the Superman post perfectly. When I went
over the car, I broke both tibia and phibulla right
above the ankle. When it all happened, I remember running
across the street. Then I remember lying down. I tried
to stand up and just couldn't get go right back.

(04:17):
I tried to stand up, just to go right back
down from the break. Luckily, my dad was close by,
so he and my best friend helped me into his truck,
and when drove me to the hospital, the whole way,
I'm laughing like I'm the next joker. I didn't feel
it until the doctor grabbed my foot and started moving
and asking if I could feel that. My response was,
will you feel it if I punched you in the throat?
The zoroa punch was a staple saane in my family,
so I spent the majority of my summer in a cast,

(04:39):
all while the marine recruiters came to the house to
get the testing and go over the process of how
everything will work come graduation. I ended up testing it
at a ninety five high enough that I basically had
a free choice of where I wanted to be placed
in the Marines. I was due to join the sniper's side.
Always been a great shot younger age, living in the
boonies and shooting targets for fun. Two weeks after the

(04:59):
test results from the recruiter were given to me, I
had a follow up appointment of the doctors. Took the
X ray to check progress of the healing to see
the brake shifted because of the angle of the break,
so it was decided surgery and an implant were needed.
Once Marine Recruitment found out, they notified me it's an
instant disqualification because of a foreign implant object for an implant.

(05:21):
One thing that does still kind of bother me is
the girl that blew the stop sign did a hit
and run turned herself in months later because a witness
finally stepped forward. But all the damage was done and
my parents were told to go for compensation, but never did. Man,
life's going to happen sometimes and in the grand scheme
of things, yes, this may have pulled you away from

(05:43):
the Marines. That could have saved your life, depending on
how old you are, depending on what's going on in
the world conflict, and where you might have been stationed
could have done a whole lot of shit to the girl.
But the bigger reality is is you're now, as you said,
about to be thirty nine. We're about to get into
all of this, but your life may look very different

(06:05):
because of that accident. You never know, And that was
what I'm getting at. You wrote, and here I am.
I'm about to be thirty nine with the knee of
a ninety year old because of the Botch surgery in
my opinion, but then again, I'm not a doctor and
just a blue collar worker who likes to weld. They
went through my kneecap instead of removing it to insert
the rod into my tibia. Senior year, I chose to

(06:25):
go to VOTECH for desktop polishing publishing. Wow, I can't read.
Senior year, I chose to go to VOTECH for desktop publishing.
I enjoyed it, but I graduated with mediocre scores, and
then at seventeen, after graduation, I moved out. Had the
young and stupid high school relationship for a couple of years.
The last year of that relationship was basically me saying

(06:45):
we were dating, but lived apart and rarely spoke. During
the last year and a half of that relationship I
tried in my hand. With college, I went for graphic
design but only did a semester and a half because
I ended up relocating and lost my vehicle due to
motor failure that I couldn't afford. I was young and
didn't have much experience with vehicles. By the end of
that year, I met my ex wife. Graphic design is

(07:08):
one of the worst things that you can go to
school for. I mean next to like a liberal arts
degree or whatever bullshit degree that you can get, but
like for actual work. To get a graphic design degree
that is such a saturated field. The amount of tattoo
artists that I know that when to school, spent all
the money became Adobe certified get the graphic design shit
that don't fucking use it because there's more money in
tattooing than a graphic design It's wild. At the time

(07:31):
I was twenty or twenty one, I started to work
at a local staple store, moving up to a department lead.
Soon after I was promoted to lead, I met my
ex wife. All during the last months of high school
relationships coming to an end. I admit it was wrong
being in a relationship and starting anyone but at the
time I was young and I didn't care. So then
she comes along, applies and gets hired and put in

(07:51):
my department. Shortly after her working there, we ended up dating.
After a couple months of dating, one weekend we were together,
I got woken up by a call from the store
manager that dating coworkers is not accepted, so they gave
me the choice to resign or I have to fire
her due to it being my department. Well, needless to say,
I fired her. Young guy in power, I'm going to

(08:11):
flex my muscles. During our marriage, we always cracked jokes
about me firing her and she still married me. I
won't go into all of the details of that marriage.
It was toxic kind of It was toxic, a toxic
kind of one. We constantly did things to get back
at each other, and a lot of eye for an
eye happening. I did, however, get three beautiful children from
that marriage. I actually want to touch on this whole

(08:33):
dating at work thing. We know that most infidelity happens
in the workplace. When you graduate high school, if you
don't go to college, the main place that you meet
new people is going to be in your work field.
Whether you work at a fucking you know, a mechanic shop,
or you work at Starbucks or Target or wherever it
is that you work. You were going to get your

(08:55):
most people interaction while you were at work. And if
you work somewhere where you have a co ed stile workforce,
that's where you're going to meet the most amount of people.
And this whole you know, you were technically ahead of her,
and like there's a whole stigma about you know, you
shouldn't date below you in the work for us, it's
unprofessional and all of that bullshit. But when it comes
down to it, your work life and your personal life

(09:17):
aren't the same thing. You spend one third of your
life working, so the other two thirds are spent doing
other life shit. You shouldn't be giving up the things
that could potentially bring you joy simply because of a job.
In this situation, you had to fire your ex wife.
I mean, it is what it is. It's not like
you guys were working anywhere amazing. What did you say
you were at Target? You didn't. You didn't say where.

(09:54):
You just said, oh, a local Staples store. You said Staple,
So it wasn't even Target, Like it's Staples, bro This
is one of those things that are you really going
to give up the potential love of your life, which
obviously she wasn't You guys didn't make it, you didn't
get three kids out of it, and you had a
really fucked up relationship. But are you really going to
give up your life for a job at Staples? It's

(10:15):
not a career, it's a job. Now. If you were
general management and you were able to like work the
corporate side of things, that'd be a very different concept.
But just working somewhere like that, like you're a worker,
These people can replace you in no time because it
doesn't take a lot of skill to these jobs. Just
a thought for you guys out there, Where was it all? Right?

(10:42):
Back to the email. Shortly after that, I put my
two weeks note, put in my two weeks notice, and
took a step in the labor industry. Her stepfather got
me and at his job installing elevators. Loved that job,
worked it for two years until a disagreement with one
of the owner's sons got me fired. During that job,
she and I got married and also welcomed her first
daughter into the world. Also bought our first home, a

(11:03):
park model single wide. After I was like go from
that job. I joined the truck body manufacturing industry, which
I'm still in that type of industry today. Two years
with one company, early twenties, making twenty an hour, I
felt like a king. Had all the bills paid plus
extra for us to enjoy So at twenty years old,
if you're thirty nine, you would have been. I mean

(11:29):
minimum wage at that point was like six dollars an hour,
So yeah, making twenty dollars an hour at that point
is huge. Yeah, it's a big deal. Had all the
bills paid plus extra for us to enjoy, well, more
of my ex wife could enjoy. Also, at this time,
I started the process of learning to tattoo and uncle
tattooed down in Maryland, so he took me in as

(11:49):
I could. Now I really only either tattooed myself. Now,
I really only either tattooed myself, mostly at tough times
in my life, my own kind of therapy. That's what
I was touching on earlier with the cutting. It's also
actually how I learned the tattoo or my family because
they want art, they want artwork of mine. Medical grade
green soap to this day is still one of my

(12:11):
favorite smells. Now, at the end of that two years,
the company downsized and sold the plant. I'm curious if
you're actually tattooing, because you said you're still in that industry,
so you're not a tattoo artist. You're tattooing out of
your house. Which I'm gonna say this, and I don't

(12:35):
mean to be an asshole to you, but stop doing that.
If you are not familiar with cross contamination and blood
borne pathogens and all of the clink clean side of
how to tattoo, you shouldn't be tattooing. And this is
somebody who also learned tattoo inother house. I was a
scratcher for a long time. I fucking owned that shit.
But that's exactly what you are. If you're not good

(12:57):
enough to work in a studio, and if you are
good enough to work in a stud you'd make a
whole lot more money than you would work in an
assembly line. Back to the email. Now, at the end
of that two years, the company downsized and sold the plant,
leaving me with no job after so, a good friend
to this day I still call him Pappy taught me
how to weld. I took that and got another job,

(13:19):
but during the three month period of trying to find
a job that would allow us to afford the house
in life, we lost the house. That's when I started
two years at a company repairing the refrigerated trailers and
working a part time at another plant manufacturing the smaller
trailer box trucks smaller twenty five foot box trucks. Towards
the end of that timeframe, I had gotten severely sick
and nearly died in the hospital hallway. No less, we

(13:41):
thought it was from heavy drinking at a party we
were at that weekend, first night trying legit absinthe My
Irish side came out and I got into a guy
in my head, I can drink half the bottle. They
don't lie. That stuff will have you howling and hallucinating.
Apparently I laid face down on the bed, waving and laughing.
Here we find out I had a golf ball sized

(14:02):
mass on my appendix. Several months of testing and all
of I'm sorry, several months of testing and all my
main job. Let me go. Why didn't they just remove
your appendix? I was young enough I didn't fully realize
they couldn't actually do that. Being it was medical issues,
but it was also a blessing. During the weeks of
multiple testing, I also had about five interviews with a

(14:24):
company that was one of my longest friends worked at.
Finally secured that job and I was off for the
races when I could finally start that The week before,
I scheduled for a surgery to have the mass removed.
They do a cat scan to make the plan and
all after a day of not knowing, after a day

(14:45):
of not knowing what's going on, they call me in
to break the news that there is no surgery needed. Somehow,
after the constant monitoring that it doesn't grow or shift,
it disappeared. That was my miracle and I stand by that.
I actually had my appendix rupture while I was on
the bed, and they, like at the hospital, like it
ruptured as they were getting ready to do the surgery
to remove it. That shit is one of the easiest

(15:06):
surgeries ever now with the leproscopic or whatever they fuck
they call it. They make the four little decisions, go
in and remove it. I went to the tattoo convention
the next day and worked anyways, back to the first
marriage not long maybe a month or two after the miracle.
And by work, I don't mean like I was tattooing.
I worked because we sponsored the tattoo convention, and like
I ran my guys and did the work thing, I

(15:30):
wasn't tattooing. Just to be clear, my ex wife comes
to me and says, when she was at her friends
for the weekend, her boyfriend's her friend's boyfriends raped her
and she is pregnant and unsure if the child is
mine or his. I don't believe that. I don't believe that.

(15:52):
I think that she fucked the dude got pregnant and
is now using that excuse. Because if maybe this is
just my logic, but if my woman was somewhere and
somebody raped her, she would fucking tell me that it happened.
Like that's not something you hide from your person. I
don't know, maybe it is. I would in that situation,
would not fucking hide that. I don't know. What do

(16:15):
I know now? I put that into quotes because at
no time, during any playtime or intimacy did she react.
If she was there, you go, and we were rough
at times during well when it was earliest possible, they
did a paternity at our request. Result state, I am
the father. We made it through the pregnancy, scraping by
more of the eye for an eye going on. Now
we're getting towards the end of the marriage. Six months

(16:37):
to the day after each birth of my youngest two,
my ex wife left me for someone else. It's because
she was probably cheating on you. The entire time, I
was very much that man that worked two full time jobs,
ran on almost four hours of sleep, and at the
end the time I was home, I was all I
was focused on was the kids. However, during the free
years of doing this, maybe the three years. The three

(16:59):
years of doing this, abused adderall and had a couple
of times I had overdosed from caffeine pills. Didn't know
there was such a thing as an od from that,
but I learned, Yeah, dude, you can fucking overdose on water.
The first time she left, I was left with our
two kids. She had waited until I and the babies
were asleep, packed all of our clothing and her two
thousand and six an hour, two thousand and six money

(17:20):
Carlo and started driving a for Virginia Beach to be
with this girl. We met a month prior at a concert.
Necessarily very vacation as my parents put it, During this time,
my depression hit hard and I nearly drank myself to death.
A few months later, she wanted to get back together.

(17:43):
The relationship with the woman she pursued didn't work out.
I forgave, didn't forget, so I went back, and, being
extremely guarded now thinking about it, I didn't commit to
the marriage, just stayed because I was doing what I
thought my dad and the Bible that those vows were
sacred and divorce is not an option. At the time
before she left, she pushed me to go for it,
and finally, after years of saying I wanted one, got

(18:04):
my motorcycle past the class to be legal rider within
the month. Then about a month later, after she left
as well, a bunch of my close friends noticed me
writing and asked me if I wanted to ride with
them one because that club was started in memory of
a lost friend and who they saw me heading down
a dark path after my ex wife left. That's crazy
that it took you a month or whatever it was
to get your endorsement in Florida. It's a two day course,

(18:27):
well it's three. It's one day of book work, a
half a day of book work. And a half a
day on the course, then some more course time and
then the writing test. Super easy here to get your
endorsements like tw hundred fifty bucks. Anyways, so I joined
the club, and at the time it was a family
friendly one. However, pretty fast the club started growing and
has offered to be a support club to me, and

(18:49):
at the time, being one of the first thirteen members,
it was an honor to get the recognition and offer.
We had our last daughter eight months later. During that
pregnancy period is when the club started to make the
move and become a support club, and I easily fit
into that type of life. Always been a scrapper growing up.
Dad raised me to hold my own taught me to
fight at a young age, and always said you had
better never start a fight, but you better finish it. Uh.

(19:11):
I hate that phrase. I fucking hate that so much.
If you feel like your body is in danger from
another human being, that's enough to fucking hit somebody. And
I know that, like, you're not supposed to throw the
first punch for illegal purposes, but normally the first punch
that lands wins a fist fight, especially if you're good

(19:33):
at it. I'm not going to ever allow somebody to
get into a position where I feel threatened and not
fucking throw down. I'm going to be the aggressor in
that because I would rather fucking come out alive than dead.
And that's the reality of it. And by the time
that this comes out, I know most of you have
seen what happened with that that dude, the wrestler and
uh Rampage Jackson's son in the box and the uh

(19:55):
the ww F ring. Those twenty blows put that dude
to like it hospitalized him. It doesn't take much, especially
bare knuckle from somebody who knows how to properly throw
a punch. Yeah, fuck that. I'm not gonna get myself
put into a coma for some dumb shit. During this period,
I was also trying counseling to better myself and getting

(20:15):
trying to get a handle on the depression. We also
tried marriage counseling, which didn't work. My ex wife wasn't
making suggested changes, so we were merely coexisting. After when
our daughter was born, I left the club because I
was not willing to dedicate all of my time to
that over my kids. At this time, my ex wife
started running her mouth and nearly got a target put
on my back. The end of that marriage was shortly

(20:37):
after that, six months to the day. Again, I always
asked her if she thinks it could have been postpartum,
but she would never admit it. By the time I
asked her this along with doing counseling and all the
thinking I was doing, she asked to fix things. She
had already started a new relationship. This chick is fucking
a mess. Dude like this is not somebody that you
should be talking to in this capacity. So back to

(21:00):
that up I was doing as she asked to fix things.
She had already started a new relationship. I misread that
with someone who I now have become friends with. During
the first couple of weeks, she refused to leave being
co signed on the lease. So we tried the roommate
route and I tried to tolerate living with her and
the co parent responsibilities. But after that first week it

(21:22):
was very apparent she wasn't going to hold up her
in of course not. When you guys end a relationship,
you need to end the relationship, sever ties, move out,
and fucking get a clean slate. This never works. This
is always a messy thing. There's always feelings that get hurt.
There's fighting, and because you're not together anymore and you're
not trying to make things work the side that you

(21:43):
show your kids when you're fighting with your ex. Any
of the move I had to constantly cancel plans to
hang out with friends during her scheduled time, or wake
up to feed the baby while she stood outside on
the phone with her new boyfriend. The very last time
that we finally pushed the button, after coming home working
a shift and a half, normally night shift, but that

(22:06):
day was partial day, so normal shift at night, I
had just fallen asleep, and within the hour the baby
woke up crying to be fed. Thanking nothing of it,
I rolled over to try to sleep. She was in
her nursery next to the room next two hour room.
After about fifteen minutes of what turned into whaling, and
I got up, made the bottle and put her back
to sleep, all while noticing that my ex wife was
nohere to be found. Gout to the back door to
find her at the end of the property, smoking and

(22:26):
talking to the boyfriend. This set the bomb off. I
started to yell bad and loud enough he could hear
through the phone for him to come get his tramp
out of my house. This would have been the only
time ever I ever degraded a female. Besides now just
referring to her as Antichrist. That's the nickname Kenny always
had for her because a sermon he had listened to

(22:48):
about the Antichrist and how to deal righteously with that.
All the points of the Antichrist describe what she was
doing to the tea. About six months after kicking her
out of the house, I started working on myself, started
taking steps to with drinking. Alcoholism ran through my dad's
side of the family, and I wanted to break that
generational curse. Started to get back to my old self.
Once I started feeling comfortable with my own skin, I

(23:10):
wanted a companion in life. I'm not very socially outgoing.
Side note, people think that's funny since I'm part of
a motorcycle ministry now and we'll fairly openly share my testimony.
A couple friends that had gotten married suggested a dating
app that they had tried. I tried after a little hesitation,
heard horror stories, and boy, are there some crazy ones
out there. Ladies. If you're listening, it's not only the

(23:31):
guys on there looking for other things besides meaningful relationships.
First few dates I went on, they expected that they
could move in or have me pay for everything. After
the first date, the last date prior to meeting my wife,
we walked and talked. I'm sorry. We talked and tried
dating for a couple months, but it was apparent she
was embarrassed to be seen with me as I'm this skinny,
tattooed biker but with shorter hair back then, and her

(23:55):
parents didn't entirely approve of her dating outside of their culture.
The day before, just getting off the app I met
my wife, just happened to catch her profile picture, her
making this silly face, which was which our first anniversary together,
Her making the silly face which our first anniversary together.
She got me those boxers with face all over them. Okay,

(24:16):
that's that didn't It was a very hard thing for
my brain to comprehend. That face showed her personality. We
talked about two and a half months before finally going
on a date. I love that. I love that man.
That instant, extremely deep connection that exploded. We both say
we have never felt that's because you took your fucking time.
Compatibility matters, guys that I know that. Like, I push

(24:37):
my book pretty hard the last couple of days because
I've been reading it and I've been putting it all
over social media. This is what I'm talking about. You
take the time to work through and like, slow the
fuck down. You don't need to be in a relationship.
You don't, you think you do, you think you're lonely,
you're not your bored. Find the right person, find somebody

(24:58):
that's compatible, like truly compatible, and start building something and
take your time. At this time, my ex wife divorced, finalized,
divorce finalized, decided to blindside me. Also, I realize now
my fault as well hindsight with court papers from domestics
and then days later custody. PA is in a father

(25:18):
friendly state. It took several character witnesses and proof on
paper that I'm the only parent with a stable job
at the time, been a wilder for maybe six years
in stable housing just to get custody and be declared
fifty to fifty, which I always agreed with. That's changing.
I don't know if PA's changed, but that's changing. Most
states start off at fifty to fifty and you have
to prove someone unfit. Now, what you went through, though,

(25:39):
is normal, because you have to be able to provide
that you can take care of your children regardless. Even
getting a divorce, there's financial affidavits that have to be
filled out. It's a whole fucking mess. I thought it
was fair that she finally that she be finally responsible
for her time as mine. That's not the case. I
pay seven hundred a month for support even with fifty
to fifty custody, so I'm now legally responsible for that

(26:02):
after being left with all the household bills, car nearly
repossessed because I allowed my ex wife to pay the
bills while I work so much. My mistake on that one, Yep,
I'd be like that you having fifty percent of the
kids or having a fifty to fifty schedule, I would
probably hire a better lawyer and try to go back
and get that child's board cut. Her. Not being able

(26:24):
to support the kids on her fifty percent time and
needing your money means that she's not capable of taking
care of the children on her own time. I would
bring that up and I would fight for your fucking kids.
I started to work more over time, to save the
car being taken, need the car for the kids, catch
up bills that were behind, and to see about getting
a lawyer, which at bottom level was a minimum of
five thousand just for a retainer. Well, once she caught

(26:46):
wind I was working more, took me to get even
more support. She was very much that type that used
the system to get her way all this time. At
this time, all faith in the system being fair flew
out the window, and mentally I just gave up. A
lot of men do, a lot of men do, except
that this will be my life until the kids are
of age. All during this my wife helped me mentally
get through it. I would fucking I would so go

(27:09):
back to court dude. After about seven months of formally dating,
she asked if I would move in with her, as
she loves having me around and at the time her
youngest son on spectrum, actually enjoyed my company, which to
her was a big deal. We lived in her house
that she and the previous ex of six years purchased together.
Now her I and the ex have a great friendship.

(27:30):
They were legit only friends through majority of the relationship. Well,
after a few months of living there, she gotten a
foreclosure notice that they are filing. I guess she hasn't
gotten behind and we couldn't get it caught up. I
guess she had gotten behind. The typo's in here, guys.
So I made much needed repairs to the house for
her to sell. She got over asking price. We still

(27:52):
missed that house, but then she and her kids were
left with not having a place. So I sold my house,
I rented my parents took over the lease. Is where
I ended up moving back for about three months until
we found a place. During this time, every other week
we were at the Brady Bunch, my wife and I
and the three kids two girls and a boy, and
her kids her three kids, two boys and a girl.

(28:14):
Mind you, once we all were together, I went from
raising toddlers and a nine year old to now learning
teenage issues. You don't learn those either ways, no gradual
step in, and boy was that tough. Three months go by.
I ended up having a major falling out with my
parents and as soon as we got approved of this house,
we moved into this beautiful house and an old village
that used to be the community of dan builders and workers,
corner lot woods everywhere. It was paradise to us. During

(28:38):
this time, my middle step son had taken a bad
turn in lifestyle and it had caused a lot of fights.
Kids will do that shit. This is why we tell
people all the time, you have to prioritize your relationship
over your kids, because if you guys can't be on
the same page, your kids aren't going to get the
best side of you. And like, I understand that that's
her kid because you said step son, but like people

(28:59):
need to realize that the step parent in these situations
have to choose to be there every single day. We
are choosing to be there to raise these children to
do these things. And if you're fighting us while trying
to deal with the kids situation, like, it's going to
get to a point where people don't want to stay
in situations like that. You got to prioritize the marriage
and then deal with the children. Back to the email.

(29:20):
A year and a half into dealing with that stress,
he was on the verge of being taken to a
detention center for all of his choices. But the week
that was due to happen was when the world shut down.
Now one of the hardest parts of the story. The
Christmas of twenty nineteen ex wife extremely spiteful because the
kids were getting really close to my wife started making
things a living hell. It was my Christmas to have
the kids for Christmas morning, and with my new house,

(29:42):
we lived and we were excited. See this is why
you need to go back to court, dude. You need
to get everything fucking documented, because if you have a
mediation and everything is legally listed, like we have specific
time frames when we're allowed to call the kids when
they're at their dad's in the same thing, when he's
allowed to call them here, we have holidays figured out,
like all of that shit is in the court documents

(30:03):
and there's no going back. And in a situation like
this where she tried to take the kids, you could
say no, it's my weekend, and you could call the cops,
bring your fucking paperwork and be like, it's my weekend,
I have the kids for Christmas Eve or whatever the
day was, it's in this court document. The cops are
going to be like, technically you have to let them go,
so you're not kidnapping, even though it's a civil thing.
But then you can take her back to court in

(30:23):
a violation of the agreement, which could create a whole
lot of other problems for her. Five days before my
scheduled day to get them, she withheld and completely ignored
every attempt to contact. I tried getting the cops involved.
They said they wouldn't help as it was the court
issue on the first day. Wouldn't help. It was the
court's issue on the first day. The second day, I

(30:45):
left work early to go to the courthouse, had to file,
and they wouldn't exped expedite the contempt filing, so I
had to wait until after the New year, after feeling
like I was failed there and my kids were being
kept for me. The last day of work before the
holiday vacation, driving home, I had full intent of committing
suicide on the highway to the bridge. I was going

(31:06):
to drive off. That's insane. You here, you are with
a fucking great woman, a good marriage. You guys got
like the Brady Bunch thing going on, and your biggest
concern in life right now is I don't want to
deal with this shit anymore. So I'm gonna drive off
a bridge because your ex wife is being fucking nasty

(31:27):
and manipulative and is creating conflict in your life. And
that's not me shitting on you. Because I have also
been in the mindset of it would just be easier
to not be here that that's been the breaking point,
right That's where we're at, that point where we feel
like like, I just don't want to fucking do this anymore.
I'm tired. Ladies, if you're watching this, when a man

(31:48):
tells you he's tired, it's not that he needs a
fucking nap. There's so much shit going on. You need
to listen, you need to support, you need to probe,
and if they are not willing to talk, you need
to just fucking be there in silence and let them
fucking exist for a little while. But we've been there, right, Like,
it's kind of a cop out when you really think

(32:09):
about it. There have been times in my life where
I'm not gonna get into that story. I get it
where I'm at now looking back on my life, had
any of my attempts succeeded, I would have missed this
entire season of my life. And I'm at the good
parts now, right Like, the next twenty thirty years of
my life are gonna be gangster as a motherfucker, and

(32:29):
I know it, and I would have missed out on
all of it, And the point of that is that
it is tiring, it's exhausting. Things are not going to
always go your way. Driving your car off of a
bridge is not the answer to that shit. Getting mentorship,
getting a community of people that's going to help you

(32:49):
is the answer to that shit. Getting guidance from somebody
who's been where you were currently at is the answer
to that shit. So now, the drive from home to
work at that time was thirty five miles one way.
Money was great, so I didn't mind. At the time.
I clocked out and started the commute home. First twenty
minutes of the drive, my wife tried calling. I declined

(33:11):
all of the calls because my mind was set text
of I'm worried. I know you're hurt from not getting
your kids, but me and the kids all still need you.
Nothing she said got through. It was at the point
I was within one thousand yards from the bridge and
my best friend mentor, and he called. I picked up
and was saved. That's it, that's the mentor. That's exactly

(33:32):
what I was just talking about. His brother I met
at a job. He worked in the service bay next
to mine. It's funny he was actually due to prospect
under me and the club I was in, but when
I left, he stopped hanging around them. He's about eighteen
years older than I am and lived the same thing
I'm going through. Blended family, Spifle's wife, damn near the
whole nine yards as they say. So he always gave

(33:53):
me advice and steered me through. That's the importance of
fucking mentorship, guys. For a big guy, he was sneaking.
He always managed to sneak up behind me. When I
hit my hand with a hammer or things like that.
All I hear is dumbass and then his laugh. Some
of that part about him is relevant later in the story,
But back to the story. He saved my life for
the first time. When I got home, I held my

(34:14):
wife crying and apologized. She said she wouldn't know what
to do if she ever lost me. Then she said,
you know, I think you need to find something for
you to enjoy and help give you purpose outside of
the kids. I fucking agree with that. You guys who
make your entire and this is women, this is for
you too. When you make your entire identity about being

(34:35):
a parent, you are living a label. You're not living
a life. You're not doing the things that fill your cup.
You were living in servitude. It's not the same thing
as living your life. And I feel like, I honestly
feel like because our communities a family have gotten so small,
I think that that's more normal now than people realize.

(34:56):
It used to be that we had aunts and uncles
and grandparents and great grandparents and the aunt and uncle's
great grandparents and like, you know, all of these people
in our community that would raise children while we worked
and hunted and did all of those things. And we
don't have that anymore. So anyways, it's then I started
to go to biker church with the motorcycle Ministry that

(35:18):
my friends had become part of Triple three Ministries, one
of the best families a numskull like myself could ask for.
Now for the next year and a half, I had
become part of the ministry, did the hangaround period and
prospected under Kinney, but wasn't allowed to be fully apart
at this time. Get my vest or as we say,
are cut due to living in sin unmarried see Triple Tree.
Ran off of very biblical requirements and that's what made

(35:40):
it something I wanted to be a part of. We
did have the date planned, but it was nearly a
year away. Now comes the pandemic. My ex wife always
made everything with the kids difficult with seeing them during
this time, but now I had the support that helped
me tread that storm. One of the few things I
consistently said to my ex wife was, it's not just
my relationship with the kids you were messing with doing this,

(36:02):
it's also all the kids' relationships with each other. Well.
We were due to get married early September of twenty twenty,
but no one was willing to do it damn plandemic,
so we rescheduled for after September of twenty twenty one.
Fast forward to Easter of twenty twenty one, my wife
and I were in a massive battle with each other
all around the issues of her son's choices and lack

(36:23):
of respect for the house, and both of her and
I annoying to me. During the hardest part of this fight,
my wife cheated. I kind of always knew gut feeling,
but never said anything. Hate that. I hate that. I

(36:44):
have a whole lot of things running through my head
right now, so I apologize for the silence. But when
your communication gets to the point that it's higher than average.
Things like that don't happen. I do understand that people
can come in and stink their way into people's lives

(37:05):
and do all of that shit. But if there needs
not being fulfilled and there's true transparency, that shit will
never happen. June of twenty twenty one, my brother and
Motorcycle Ministries pastor and president baptized me in the river.
I wanted the river because it's God's creation. I found
my face and wanted to be a new man. Four
months before the wedding, she admitted to it, crying, explained

(37:26):
it all, saying she didn't intend on it, but the
guy full on fed on the conflict and took advantage.
Of course he did. I just sat in silence, hears
rolling down my face, and all I could say was
I needed some time. It took a few weeks, but
I told her I'm willing to forgive her and make
things work. She allowed me to confront the guy the
whole time. While he may have been slightly taller than me,
he refused to look me in the eye and still

(37:47):
to this day denies it happened. September came along and
we had our wedding. We had our wedding we wanted,
the wedding we wanted. Is I think maybe ill I
should have read. One hundred of our closest friends and
family rented amvettes. I rode the bike to the wedding,
parked it on the front door. Guess where a mix
of bikers, kids, friends and family. We loved it. Had
the wedding and reception all in one. One couple we

(38:08):
are really close with handled the DJ stuff. Rev was
who married us. Kenny was my best man. His short
speech and our wedding will always video will always make
me break down. We chose to have our honeymoon at
Bike week in Ocean City, Maryland, me her and our
two dogs. One of the best weeks of our lives.
Fucking love that now. The weekend after the honeymoon was

(38:28):
the weekend with the kids. Custody got forced to every
other weekend because she constantly used the system that explains
why you're paying seven hundred a month. Every time I
worked more to get that money to secure legal help,
she took and got awarded more. But by time with
my kids was all about them. One of the last
calls with domestics to get it adjusted accordingly, she started

(38:49):
making more than the earning ratio shifted from sixty forty
to fifty seven forty three. I bring that up because
she works more now and is getting paid more than
she was originally set on, But I was also getting
paid slightly more, and pointed out I was notified by
the guy she left me for. She had also had
and OnlyFans. She snuck to the courthouse while I was
on my honeymoon, so I got in thinking I'll get

(39:10):
a bit of an adjustment, to only get the news
they want to raise your support another two hundred dollars
and also told the extra three hundred to four hundred
a months she made from OnlyFans does not count. So
I made a statement that I had earned that without
notifying the domestic office that I would be penalized for.
My wife finally experienced the other side of the coin
with domestics that day. I've made the statement to them

(39:30):
that this kind of crap is why good fathers either
end up vanishing or commit suicide, And to my surprise,
my ex wife agreed to leave the payment as is
about the only nice things she's done that didn't entirely
have a hidden agenda. March twenty twenty two comes in
the Motorcycle Ministry. I am now involved with patches me
and I found my home, my village of people, one
of the best choices I had made and that my

(39:52):
wife pushed me to do. Now months before this ministry
was gifted their diamond patch. Because of what we do
spiritually and all them between my wife and the family
and the ministry, I could navigate I could navigate life
and all unknown a little easier. March of twenty twenty three,
my best friend, brother Mentor Kenney, suffers a stroke. That
first year was his that first year that I was

(40:15):
in the ministry, I grew so much. We very much
ran similar to club protocols and everything, except in the
ministry our wives are equal members. I loved it. Kenny
was sergeant at arms to rev Our president and pastor,
also my best friend, and I was Kenny's right hand.
He taught me all the right things spiritually. The first
couple of weeks after he suffered a stroke, I imploded

(40:35):
to say and probably say the least. And during this
time my wife and I were having some sort of
argument that I honestly can't remember what about. She had
yelled that The remark you're only acting out because your
best friend is dying hard thing to hear. So I
punched the dashboard and told her to stop the car.
I proceeded to walk seven miles home. By April, he
was finally at rest. Hardest days of my life. Wife

(41:00):
was right, though. The bigger issue here is why weren't
you leaning on her with all of this? Why were
you choosing to make an enemy of her in the moment?
This is what companionship and union. You know what being
in a union looks like. You guys are supposed to
lean on each other in hard times, not go to

(41:20):
war with each other. To this day, I still have
moments I struggle with with that loss. He was a
massive impact on the man I am now. His memorial service,
I stood at the front of on guard of his bike,
earn invest stood stone still for what felt like days,
with only tears going down my cheek. After his passing,

(41:41):
half of our ministry members left. About half of them
wanted power so moved to actual clubs. Others left just
for personal reasons. The half that left for power I
no longer associate with because of their true color showed
they have become what turned me away from the faith before.
Within the next few months, I started growing more spiritually
and I was promoted sergeant at arms. I share some
of the story with everyone that wants to listen, mainly

(42:04):
the lifestyle change going from outlaw mindset to godly mindset
and my attempt at being saved from that. My story
reaches some of the outlaw members and they look at
me with high respect and loyalty, always checking on each
other and everything. The proof of even the smallest bit
of my story reaches those who need it, and my
light shines enough to plant that seed with others as well. Now,

(42:26):
the next three years to the present day are tough.
We face being homeless due to the company being that
bought the historic rental community we lived in, deciding our
house was one out of three out of twenty three
total houses that are being turned into airbnbs. We had
put work into build enough credit to buy at that point.
Four years of hard work for me to build my credit.

(42:47):
My ex wife helped drive down with repos. Four years
of working hard to pay off debts, provide for my family,
and pay support. Finally got a prove for a house.
Fuck yeah, all you get drug along for months. Fuck that.
Already on the sete second and final extension of staying
at the house we were renting. I finally had enough,
so I withdrew the offered fire the realtor hat we had.
He just wasn't taking the job in situation seriously, just saying, well,

(43:08):
you're on your last extension, may want to settle on rentals, No, sir,
good ridden, it's good for you. We went to an
open house ourselves do went to our open house to
ourselves due to said realertor not doing his job right,
and we met an old friend of my wife. He
was part of the realtor company and company handling the sale.

(43:29):
The property was the last place we put an offer
in with no previous with the previous guy we used.
Within a week, we took him on as a realtor,
and damn that guy was beyond that job. He didn't
rest until we got things we wanted. Finally settled on
a house, and in two weeks we moved in. What
a wild ride. All while I can feel Kenny looking
down at me with a smile, knowing that I never

(43:54):
gave up. He was there at the beginning of that journey.
Seven long months of uncertainty with housing, finally getting settled
in a new house house, small house, but it's ours.
Only downside was the one adjacent neighbor is the local
crack house. So in our house it could be only me,
my wife, the youngest step son, and the two older
ones moved in with their perspective grandparents, one just to

(44:15):
have her way paid and the other to give his
grandmother daily company after passing of his grandfather. And as
for my three kids, prior to moving from the old house,
my ex wife claimed we were abusing them to CBS,
state cops arrived, treated my ex or treated my wife
like a criminal while I was at work. The claims
were clearly unfounded, but the damage was done. My wife

(44:37):
told me for us to make this marriage work, I
would have to make sure my kids aren't around her
and her kids due to ex wife and her constant hell.
Without hesitation, agreed that I can just see them on
my weekends at my parents. No question for me. I'm
still doing that, doing what I can for my kids
and staying to my commitment in vowels. Now, the last
year of the rental house, my relationship with my wife's

(44:58):
two oldest was very straining life choices and lack of
respect towards me and set boundaries of the house. Now,
after three years of living in our house and her
too living with their grandparents, my relationship with her oldest
daughter is still semi strained due to the addictions. Her
middle son, on the other hand, still doing what he
knows is wrong with the law, has grown massively, is

(45:19):
working on getting away from that journey, joined a church
and me and him share amazing relationships. Now that's my bud,
I call all my boys that. A little over a
year and a half after we bought our house, I
started to become very unhappy at my job, basically doing
a lead level job at the same page as those
who barely been there for a year. Our guys nearly

(45:39):
ten years younger, and I'm working circles around them, and
they start bitching I'm being a dick, Very unhappy with
driving sixty five miles a day, a total of two
hours added to the eleven hours a day I work
there away from home thirteen hours, leaving me little time
to be home and do my honeyde list and get
quality time in start looking for a new job. Had
an interview at two places, but financial they wouldn't mount

(46:01):
to what I was bringing home. Then, even with the
commute being cut in half, my work heard I was
looking elsewhere and gave me a raise, but the race
still didn't fix the other things. Maybe you should look
into why they think you're bitching and being a dick
and focus on doing your job and not worry about
what other people are doing if you are actually in

(46:23):
a lead position, because I think that you worded that
as basically doing a lead level job, which means you
weren't doing the lead level job. Now, if they're paying
you for that, it's a different conversation. But getting a
raise doesn't matter if you don't get the title, because
if without the title, just getting a raise, they can
still complain that you're bitching. A couple months later, my

(46:44):
wife tells me she was talking to a company about
her cleaning company services about me needing a job. A
week later, I went in for an interview and a
welding test. A day later, I get the call they
want to offer me the job a dollar fifty more
an hour, plus commute drops from sixty five miles a
day to twenty two. I took that step uncertain of
uncertainty and left the job of ten years to level up.

(47:05):
Now we're getting close to present day, even making more money,
and we still struggled financially. My wife wasn't willing to
fully let go of certain things. Started to feel like
we weren't the team we were supposed to be, and
I just I was just a check. Oh no. We
started having fights. One fight back in November twenty fourth
that was really bad. I started shutting in and giving up.

(47:26):
She made me call reve at ten thirty at night
and me and him are sitting in his truck at
an all night diner talking. He suggested maybe try marriage
counseling with him and the wife. Him and his wife,
there are counselors through the churches already. That was something
my wife had said about trying before, but I always
pushed back to to reverting back to a marriage counseling

(47:48):
didn't save previous marriage. I'm going to touch on that
I've just been reading. There's not a whole lot here
for me to touch on because the story is coherent,
but the marriage counseling thing, couples counseling, marriage counseling therapy,
however you want to look at that. It's not one
size fits all. You don't know if the marriage counselor
has a good marriage or even a good relationship. You

(48:09):
don't know if your core values aligned with theirs. There's
a whole lot of unknown that goes into all of that,
which means you have to shop for a therapist that
is right for you or a counselor that is right
for you, the same way that you have to do
anything else. If this dude is a fucking counselor at
his church and he's somebody that you are like super
close to, you know your values are there, and you
know that you are going to get like solid information

(48:31):
from him if they're good at what they do. So
I really hope that you actually take it. Oh. Now,
it took several months to finally get it going because
with my wife's work, her schedule is not always the same,
so I put it on her to schedule the time
because my work schedule was the same every day. So
it takes several months and a bad, bad fight to
have me call Revn tears. Yeah, I'm an emotional person
and I'm not sorry for that. Good dude, fucking why

(48:53):
would you be fucking good for you man. Me. Being
able to cry after our our first aahuasca ceremony has
been one of the most freeing experiences of my life.
My cry overall kinds of shit. Now it's not like
you know, bubbling, sobbing, snop bubbling, you know, the whole nine,
but like I feel my emotions now and it's fucking wonderful.

(49:16):
It's good for you. Then I had enough of the
youngest step son who started barely going to school, barely working,
doing nothing to contribute to stuff around the house, chores
or not, and then added more to the electric bill
with adding multiple fish tanks. How old is this kid?
Because if he's over eighteen, you needed to kick him
the fuck out of your house. I had an attitude

(49:38):
after having enough, and my wife instantly wiped any idea
of the actual work I have done to change to
be better and went, you'll never change. Once this happened,
we stopped wanting to go to counseling. Forty one days
after starting counseling. Then a week or so after, a
minor fight happened another one. Now this fight had gotten
to the point of explosion. One day I went looking

(49:59):
for the scissors to find it in my step son's room.
I then noticed a mini fridge, so I open it
and see that it's filled with beer. That was the
final straw. I just went off. I'm not allowing an
eighteen year old child to drink in the house. He's eighteen,
he's a man now. According to society, he's a fucking adult.
You guys need to fix your marriage, save your marriage,
and kick him the fuck out of your house. While

(50:20):
both my wife and I don't drink and not allowing
it where he does absolutely nothing around the house. The
next day, my wife and I sat so she could
try to talk about it, but the second it left
her lips that his friend's mom allows his friends to
have one, I lost it. I don't care what they allowed.
She is also divorced and her son barely wants to
live there anyways. Well, because I wouldn't listen to what

(50:40):
she was going to say, we ended up in a
very bad fight that led her to opening the front
door and saying she has done and needs to go.
I told her for once to be their mother and
not their friend. Good for you, God, I wish you
guys weren't fighting, but you guys don't need to be
your children's friends. You're supposed to be an example to them.
You're supposed to be the thing that gives them guidance

(51:00):
and structure in their life, and this kid fucking needs some.
I was left thinking my marriage was over after a
fight over alcohol, which neither of us a drink, so
at that I had the biggest slip in my life
and punched a wall. The following morning, I got up
to work, started the bike, headed to work. What is
now a normal twenty minute drive turned into nine. Clocked in,

(51:21):
started to work, climbed into a tank to repair some cracks,
and lost it. I came to realize I had no
regard for my life. That ride had nearly ended it
all again. I started to replay the ride to work
and realized I was just about to not take the
turn at a fork and ride right into the tree
at the fork at seventy miles an hour. I clearly
remember hearing my best friend Kenny's voice saying, dumb ass.
He saved me again. I reached out to my dad

(51:42):
an rev both supported me and getting help so that
I left work and right to sign myself in. Now
I spent a week getting mine right, have a med
added to help while I get everything sorted. So the
day before I got discharged, my wife come to visit
and we talked. I had said my step son doesn't
have to move, but he needs to start holding his
end of responsibility, and also there will be absolutely no

(52:04):
beer in the house. Following day I get out and
he's moving. The following two weeks had we had minor
fights over finances, me telling my wife I will need
help to cover things because the week I was in
a hospital is a week of pay I missed on. Dude,
I'm fucking glad this kid is moving out. Instead, I
met with constant jabs of her son taking being forced

(52:25):
out and completely ignoring my ass for help. That's fucked up.
I told her if she isn't willing to be on
the team, then I will only pay the mortgage and
she can pay the rest. All fueled by being beyond pissed.
I've been saying we're going to be struggling this month,
and she spends roughly four hundred dollars total on her
eighteen year old son. This fight eventually led to being separated,
which was last weekend. This is you, guys, not putting

(52:48):
yourselves in your marriage above your children. I don't understand
how we are in a position where this is even
a thing anymore. I know that that I know that
it's fucking hard for young people right now financially, and
like to give you an idea of how hard it
is and how much I understand this. We were looking

(53:08):
at houses today because we don't want to be in Florida,
and I found a place in Texas that was very
in my price range, very like massive amounts of land,
Like it was three times more than three times what
we currently have. That house that I was looking at
sold at one point for two hundred and eighty four
thousand dollars, and it was seven hundred thousand dollars today

(53:30):
when it sold was two thousand and nine. So it's
fucking hard for younger people. I get it. The rent's
gone up, like everything is more expensive than the dollar
has been devalued so much because of our debt. I
fucking get it. The reality is is, once your children
are eighteen years old and they're going to be living
in your house, they should be paying rent and living
by your rules. And if they can't fucking agree to

(53:51):
do those things, then they need to move the fuck
out and be roommates with somebody who they can disrespect
and do all that shit too, because at the end
of the day, your marriage should be the thing that
is like forever. Right, this is going to be you
doing the forever thing for the rest of your life,
growing old together and having all that shit. I have
to check my phone now. We are currently in this
dance of figuring out how it goes. I at least

(54:12):
told her I finally realized my mood swings being out
of control were the problem, and I started to take
the steps to fix that meds and counseling. I still
struggle with getting stuck in my head, but now rev
kindly at random times text me dumb ass, as Kenny
would say. But even when I'm still making my mistakes
trying to save my marriage, I'm still owning up to
them and doing what I have to do. So good

(54:33):
for you for owning your parts and all of this,
But there's a whole lot of shit that's going on
in your home that needs to get correct. Now we
are sitting at present day, I'm finishing this all after
arriving at my Grandma's and Maryland. Talking in Maryland, talking
with everyone, and getting this story written. Rev and his
wife are mediating communications with my wife and I to

(54:53):
prevent any fighting, and I'm doing counseling and everything to
get myself straight so I can truly be the man
I want to be. Here's to seeing what the future holds. Guys, Remember,
even when you hit rock bottom of the pit, you
can only go up. Start building life is truly start
building life is truly worth the fight. Hopefully all this
is understandable. Every time I get one part down, it

(55:16):
sparked another thought, so it was constantly trying to see
where it was to see to get chronologically. Thanks for
the chance into Chris. Thanks for your challenge to step
out of my comfort zone to write it. Dude, I
hope that this gave you some sort of I hope
that this is freeing for you right. I hope that
some somewhere along the way this gave you some sort

(55:36):
of comfort and clarity. And I hope that you and
your woman are getting your shit together. I definitely think
that you, guys, need to have conversations about your vowels,
especially if she's also somebody with faith, because what you're
doing right now putting your children above your marriage is
you know you're violating your vowels. She's this is for

(55:59):
better or worse sickness and in health, this is one
of those worst things. And she's not standing by you.
You guys aren't doing what you need to be doing.
And I understand that it's hard. I understand that she
loves her child. But her child's eighteen now, and like
you just said in this email about being at rock bottom,
he needs to hit rock bottom. He needs to realize
that nobody's coming to save him. That as an adult,

(56:21):
you have to go out there and fucking grind and
do shit for yourself. You shouldn't be supporting children over eighteen.
Real shit. Unless your kid is going to college and
you're funding that life for them, you shouldn't be paying
for them anymore. And when our kids turn eighteen years old,
if they want cell phones and they want all that shit,
they're paying for all of it. They want cars, like
I'll probably buy them their first little Beater car so
they have something, but they're paying their own insurance, like

(56:43):
they will be working. I'm not fucking This isn't a
handout thing. You're going to earn your fucking way in life.
That's just the way that it needs to be. We
live in a world where there is now a term
called stay at home kids, and these are grown ass
kids who are in their twenties and thirties that are
living off their parents, and the parents think it's fucking

(57:05):
cute and refer to them as stay at home kids.
You don't have stay at home kids. You have fucking
poor parenting techniques, and your children are fucking useless because
of it drives me nuts. That's the email, guys. I
know I haven't done one of these in a while.
Hopefully you got some sort of value out of this.
I will probably do another one of these in a
week or two. I'm going to try to get back
to doing them because I was asked to do them,

(57:26):
and I guess that's that. We'll see you guys on
the next one.