Love, Faith & Finding Purpose in the Waiting (Guest: Kittie Rose)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You've been advocating for marriage. Sometimes it comes off extremely harsh.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
What is that about.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
I don't like when people play about marriage because essentially
you're planning about God, and I have an issue with that.
We are a living picture of Christ's relationship with the church.
People need to be able to find God in our marriage,
and so that's the reason why.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
I speak the way that I do well to their
future wife podcast Kitty Rose is in the building.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Come on now, yeah, Glory to God. I love a
believer my whole life. I've been heavy in the church. However,
there was a time where I was out there in
that world having a little bit too much fun.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
What was spoken over your life?

Speaker 3 (00:32):
When I was younger, I forgot what the woman's name was,
but she said I was going to be a singer.
They wanted me the same gospel, and I'm like, they
seemed too hard going viral.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yet yes I have.

Speaker 4 (00:42):
So let me be like when I say.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
That I've been practicing nursing for over a decade. My
aunt Chandra told my mom I keep seeing her on
the stage. God said that he allowed her to do nursing,
but that's not her calling. I was like, oh, good,
I'm gonna be singing, No, I'm going to be speaking
over marriages.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
I just didn't feel qualified.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Can we shout your husband out here?

Speaker 4 (00:59):
You know, I'm glad you said that.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm married, I'm love, I'm nurtured, I'm protected, I am
provided for in real life.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Some people like, oh, are you this relationship person? Why
don't you ever do interviews with your husband?

Speaker 3 (01:10):
I just don't want to expose my marriage. Everybody goud
still working on that part of me. I would go
back and forward with you behind my marriage.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
How did y'all meet?

Speaker 3 (01:15):
We've been knowing each other's we were thirteen, never dated.
We've always been really fond of each other. He would
call me at random times while I was in the
midst of a problem. My tire is flat, my break
life just went out, and it sat him saying, do
you have somebody to help you? It was always sending
your location. He will always make sure that he looked
out for me. I made a video and I had
posted and he's in the comments and he's like, I
have all of those qualities, and I was like, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Is that what you did?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
How does someone not make the idol I desire marriage?
I'm about to hit forty years old.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
That's how you know right there you were fighting against
an imaginary clock. That's a key indication that that has
become an idol.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
I want you to speak to single women who have
grown weary in their well doing.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
Hey, single Babies.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
The Future Wife podcast has global impact.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
From Texas, I have been on this journey of healing
and self discovery, and this podcast has been a vital
part of my process.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,
founding authentic spirituality California.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
I learned so much as a single man through your podcast,
and continue to learn so much as now a married
man Nigeria. This is just therapy for me.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
You know, I've been healed, I've been strengthen in my
convictions on the STI to do Single hoopta.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible
for a.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
Man to be as intentional as you are.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
New Jersey.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
I appreciate your vulnerability.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
I appreciate just being able to see that there is
life after divorce.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
To New York.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
I am a single woman, so these episodes really give
me hope and courage that God does have a husband
for me.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Discover unco and Recover Love.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
I'm Laterra Sar Whitfield and this is season ten of
the Dear Future Wifie podcasts. Welcome to the Dear Future
Wifie podcast. I'm your host, Latera Sar Wifield. Listen, are
you still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking
up with us, come on, can we get a commitment?
Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you're chewing
your notification bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
And as I.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Expressed last week, the patriarch is in full force, so
make sure you head over click the link of the
description sign up for the Patreon. Also click the link
and the description and sign up for the melon list.
We have some excited things coming down the pipeline.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
A lot of y'all been asking me to interview this
particular person. I've been watching her go viral for the
last few years, and I love the way she thinks.
I love her hertpost and everything that she says. She
tries to push people to the feet of God, and
so I love people who champion their faith. And so,
without further ado, welcome to Dear Future wife podcast. My

(04:00):
homie Kitty Rose is in the building.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
You're gonna have me crying over here.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
You're gonna cry because we.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Started off in prayers. Then I had something good come
on now.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
Yeah, yeah, Glory to God. I love it.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Listen. So let me ask you this, how long have
you been a believer?

Speaker 4 (04:14):
My whole life? My whole life. I was raised in
the church. I was raised really church church for real, Yeah,
Solomon McGee.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
We come from a bloodline, now sold all right, we
come from a blood line, and I've been heavy in
the church. However, there was a time where I'm not
gonna say I separate because I never separated from God.
I was just sinning. Yeah, it was af there in
that world, having a little bit too much fun.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
A little bit too much.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
I had a whole bunch of consequences that came with it. Yeah,
And it was honestly, it was last year. Actually it
was at the end of last year. Now, granted God
has been tugging on me. I mean he has been tugging,
but I wanted to still live the life that I
wanted to live. And last year, after we had a
Christmas party literally the next day, which was actually the
day before you and I were on the show together. Yeah,

(04:58):
that conviction the next on the fifteenth was horrible. It
was a wild as because I was over there taking
shots back to back, and the next day. God was
on me heavy that morning, and the taste for alcohol
was gone, The desire to curse was gone, even to
listen to second music. All of that, like my appetite

(05:19):
for a lot of things were gone. And so when
you saw me on stage that time, that was the
moment where I did. I felt as though I gave
a complete yes, But I didn't find that later on
that I didn't give before yes, I gave somewhat of yes.
But there was still a part of me that was like,
keep my foot over here.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
Just a little bit.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
I'm keep some little cuss words in my arsenal them. Yeah,
drink little.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
God was on me, and I'm glad that he was.
That was my last time that I had a chance
to turn up, and it.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Would tell me he snatched the taste of that in
twenty four hours.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
He took everything away from me.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
So was it something that you had a conversation with
God about? Was it something that happened that night or
evening that you regretted that you said never again.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
Actually it was probably let me see, a couple of
years ago. It was a couple of years ago I
went through something really, really, really traumatic, and I remember
I was crying out to God, and I know the
conversation that he and I had and what God was
telling me to do. But it was really hard for
me to do what God was asking me to do
because it was gonna cost too much of what I
wanted to do with my life. And so I kept

(06:20):
on going and I kept on going, but I'm telling you,
every time it was like God was tugging on me
and I would I would be obedient to like some things,
and some things I wasn't obedient too, until it was
just that moment where God was like, all right, either
you gonna give me your yes or not, and this
is the last offer for you.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
And so that was scary because I know how God is.
I'm a dreamer.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
He said, it's your last offer.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, that's my last offer. And I know what that
meant because I had a dream when I was younger.
I had a dream when I was younger. I talked
to my mom and my cousin Ronda about this and
I told him, I said, I remember that I was
at the foot of God and I saw so many
people getting pulled. I saw people standing up in front
of God, but you could not see him his magnitude,
He was so great, so big, and you couldn't hear

(07:03):
what they were saying, but you can feel the presence
in the room, and you can feel when people were
being pulled away from him. And at that time, in
a dream, he told me it was not my time yet.
And I knew from that moment that if I keep
on living the life that I live, I ain't gonna
make it to him. And my mom kept telling me
to stop playing, and I still was playing, and I
learned some valuable lessons while playing. I did, but I

(07:29):
was trained, right. I was trained, so I knew exactly
where to go back to Kolchic has always been in
my heart. But you know, of course, when you get older,
I guess over time, I started going into different churches
and stuff and just kind of like wanting to see
exactly where I wanted to land. And then, of course,
because I'm a seer and I'm a dreamer, and so
I see things as well. And there was one church

(07:50):
that I went to it's a popular church. I'm not
going to say the name. The last service that I
had went to, I saw spirits just roaming inside of
the church, and it caused me to kind of freak
out in a church. And my cousin was with me.
My cousin and my ex best friend. They were all women.
They were like, are you okay? And I'm like, we
got to go. And I was seeing just like distorted faces,
thestorted figures and all of that.

Speaker 4 (08:10):
And it took me a minute to go back to
church after that took me a minute.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
That's interesting.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
The day I gave my life to Christ, well, the
next day, it was December the twenty second of nineteen
ninety six, and I was in Lakeside Club and I
saw the same thing over people's heads. And I was
sitting there, and I was there and I was like,
I was hanging out with my homeboy's birthday and I
started looking around and I just started seeing spirits over

(08:38):
people's heads. And then I would hear the music or
whatever Luke Skywalker was, you know, pumping through the speakers,
and I'm hearing the music and everything started going in
slow motion. I just started seeing spirits over people's heads.
And I said, oh, I can't. I don't want to
go to club mom. And I left the next day
and gave my life to Christ. Rededicated my life to Christ.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
At eighteen, I like rededicate.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
You know what my mom used to always telled me
since I was a little girl, She's always said, that's
a gift. When I got older, I told mom, I said,
that's a curse. I said, this ain't always a gift
because you see so much, and like some spaces you
won't even be in because you see them. And so
I've been a sea my whole life. The enemy has
been attacked me my whole life. It was a certain
time of each year around fall, closer to the Halloween,

(09:20):
closer to like the October time, and in my sleep
every night I would have nightmares. And you can see that,
I can feel the demons literally attacked me in my sleep.
And so each year was the same thing up until
I was seventeen. I was pregnant with my daughter. At
seventeen years old, I have never been attacked the way
that I was.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
That night. It was a full on attack.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Her dad was seeing me being attacked in my sleep,
and I woke up screaming, and my sister came out
of the room, her husband came out a room. They
tried to grab me, but I kept seeing spirits. And
then that night my mom took me to an evangelist
and they all prayed over me. And then that was
that walk from there, and I never had any problem
since then.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
He was how old seventeen?

Speaker 3 (09:57):
I was seventeen at that time. Nineteen years old is
one I got saved. That's when I fully gave my
life to Christ. And then at nineteen, I'm young. I'm vulnerable, right,
I'm over here listening to Trinity five seven and stuff.
I got stuff on cassettes because I had a mission
Bishi Galant and I'm sitting in here now I'm trying
to say, wasn't it. I removed every CD anything secular

(10:19):
that I had. I was reading a word consistently. But
I was nineteen, and you lose a lot of friends
when you go through that walk, and so I lost
a lot of friends. People didn't want to be around me.
They told me I became too holy. It was just
such an isolating experience. And I remember my sister, she
was doing this modeling thing and she had a group
of women that they were modeling together, and she said,

(10:39):
I want you to join me, and I was like, Okay,
that's cool. I didn't see no problem with it until
we had to go to the club. And that's where
it got me, gotcha, because I was getting attention, the
attention that I knew for a fact, mal attention that
I was deprived of throughout the majority of my life,
specifically for my dad. But I was deprived of that,

(10:59):
and the enemy new that was your weakness right there,
and it got me. And when I tell you, that
was the worst I was in nursing school in nineteen
I was in nursing school and every drive to clinicals,
every drive up to the campus was the worst drive
because I would cry every day because it was so
hard for me to get back to God. It was
just so hard for me. It was hard for me
to listen to a sermon, to listen to a gospel.

(11:21):
Soon it was hard to get back to God.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Really, So give language to that. Why you think that was?
You had this upbringing, always was raised in church. Now
you rededicate your life to Christ at nineteen years old,
you go to the club, it pulls you back into
this wayward mentality lifestyle. But you have this conviction in
your heart that leads you to cry week before the

(11:43):
Lord because you feel so separated from him. What made
it so hard to just say, let me, let me
stop whatever I'm doing and just get back on the right.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
Path Because I was living in my own will, and
it's a lot more enticing to live me your will
rather than God's. God's will comes with a major cost,
to the personal cost. And I wasn't ready to give
up my pride. I wasn't ready to give up the thrills.
I wasn't ready to give up none of that I
thought I was. And then also that was a really

(12:12):
vulnerable age. Yet you know, of course I had my
mom behind me. But when you don't have your friends
that you have for so long and it's just you
in that isolation, you get lonely in the isolation. And
I wasn't yet accustomed to being okay with being alone.
So that was my struggle.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
And how long did that last? From nineteen to what age?

Speaker 4 (12:32):
That lasted? Jesus over decade? Over decade. It lasted for
over decade.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
And I only know that because me and my best
friend were hosting a Bible study a couple of weeks back,
and we were in Exodus and we were talking about shame,
and we weren't going to talk about it at first.
I was like, Okay, I don't know what the Lord
is telling us to do with this Bible study. We're
just gonna go on the Bible studying whatever. So that
Friday we were studying and I was like, let's She said,
let's pray, and I said, I mean, I don't know

(13:02):
if you need to pray, we just go ahead. And
she was like, let's pray, and I was like all right.
So we prayed and immediately the Holy Spirit registered shame
in her spirit. And then we start studying it and
the Holy Spirit just opens our eyes and we're talking
about shame. And here I am full on having to
break down in tears because I didn't realize that for
so long. The reason why it was hard for me

(13:23):
to go back to God is because I was operating
and living in shame. The enemy is so pervasive with
the way he speaks to you and the way he
gets in your head, and so when he makes you
feel shame, he tells you that you're wrong, that you're
too damaged that you're not good enough to go back
to God. And so for the longest I realized that
was the voice that kept playing in my head. And

(13:45):
every time I made a mistake, every time I sinned,
every time I did something that would grieve the spirit,
I would feel shame. And so it just kept pulling
me and pulling me. And that was such a moment
of deliverance when I had that, because I needed that,
I cried so hard. I needed that. And when we
went into Bible study, I ended up. I was in
the spirit. My best friend was just like, just go.

(14:06):
It sounded like it was a sermon. I was in it,
just going, and we went into a prayer. That prayer
went to going. I started talking about Exus, we were
talking about Moses, and then I just started talking to
our students and it's always like over five hundred people
and a lot of people were in there. The that's
my virtual Bible study that I have Saturday morning. Yeah,
it's over two thousand people register right.

Speaker 4 (14:27):
Now like that.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, yes, And it was so many people just by
looking at the chat that was struggling with shame, and
I said, oh wow, And that's exactly how the enemy
gets us. We think that it's guilt. Guilt tells you
I did something wrong. Shame tells you I am wrong.
Guilt tells you I made a mistake. Shame says I am.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
I'm gonna say it. Come on back, teach you.

Speaker 4 (14:52):
Hear what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
And so a lot of times, because we have not
addressed the guilt and it's been unprocessed, that guilt now
manifests into shame and we're operating in it, and the
devil's having a field day seeing the fact that I'm
keeping you away from going back to God. And we
know that we're dealing with shame when we say, well,
I go to God about this all the time. I
can't go back. He's not gonna forgive me. And we
forget about God's unchanging nature. And that's what I was

(15:15):
struggling with for so long and had no idea, And
so I would hide.

Speaker 4 (15:20):
I would try.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
And it's crazy to say that because God is always around,
but I would try to hide from him. You can't
hide your saying from God. He sees everything that you do.
He saw before you did it. But I would try
to hide and then go back and have repent. Lord
I'm sorry I didn't go back and do the same thing.
Half repen we're just bargaining here. That was my struggle.

(15:41):
So I thank God for my best friend, and I
thank God for allowing us to host the Bible studies,
because I did not realize that I was with that,
and so many people look up to me and it's like, y'all,
I'm human.

Speaker 4 (15:52):
You'll be surprised.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
I go through a lot of the same things, but
that was I was delivered from that shame in that study.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
Hey man, I love it.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
I love it so and you're saying this was still,
this is recent, and so you come back ten years ago,
a little over a decade, you come back and say, God,
I totally surrender.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
What did that look like for you? How did your
life start shaping?

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Because I know you said that you you've always been
a seer, So what did you feel like God called
you or maybe your mom told you you're going to
be an evangelist? So what was spoken over your life? Prophetically?

Speaker 3 (16:26):
When I was younger, Prophetically, I forgot what the woman's
name was. We were going to Compassionate and Pleasant Grove
and she told my mom.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
She told my mom. I had a gift.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
But she said I was going to be a singer,
and I've always been singing my whole life. That trained
for opera, so I'm thinking, okay, but they wanted me
the same gospel and I'm like, they sing too hard.

Speaker 4 (16:46):
That's what I used to say. I'm like, they seen
to her.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Have you seen what's been going viral? Yeah? Yes I have.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
So let me be like when I say that, I
was like, but you know what I was.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
I was in the Sunshine Band when I was younger.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
I used to have me sing a lead, but I
didn't want to sing gospel. I was like, I could
sing opera and still sing like gospel opera. Like, no,
you can't do that, girl, But I thought that's what
it was going to be.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Could have could have your own job.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
But I ain't take that serious because I was still
living my own wheel, right. I still was doing a
whole bunch of things. And I'll get to that in
a little bit, But that's what was spoken over my life.
It's not until a few years back, I want to say,
it was after twenty twenty one, and I was minded,
mind you, I've been practicing nursing for over a decades,
so I was a nurse, and my aunt Sandra told
my mom, she said, I keep seeing her on the

(17:35):
stage and she told my mom she said, God said
that he allowed her to do nursing, but that's not
her calling. And so I was like, oh good, I'm
gonna be singing.

Speaker 4 (17:45):
And here I am.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
I'm thinking I'm gonna be singing. No, I'm going to
be speaking over marriages. That's my ministry. God revealed that
a long time ago that marriage and counsel was my ministry.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
How long goes it?

Speaker 4 (17:55):
A couple years ago? Four years ago to be exact?

Speaker 1 (17:58):
When you did that, how that you respond that you
automatically start doing it, making videos about it?

Speaker 3 (18:03):
Absolutely not counseling. Yes, not marriage. I didn't feel like
I was qualified.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
To speak on it.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Were you married at that time?

Speaker 3 (18:11):
I only been married at that time. I was not
married that this is my second marriage that i'm in.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
So and so you weren't married at that time. And
God said, I'm going to use you for marriage. You
like i've been divorced, choose somebody else.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, that's exactly what That's exactly what it was. And
I just didn't feel qualified. And so many people, I
guess because he incorporated what he would teach me and
what I would learn in counseling, and then it just
all came together.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
And then people tell me, you give a different perspective.
You speak so well.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
I can understand things when you break it down, and
I'm like, that ain't nothing but God. But I've been
speaking my whole life. I've always been okay with.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
Talking well because you lived it. So that's the thing
about it. A lot of times people try to disqualify
people from things that God has already qualified them for.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yes, I've been divorced.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
I was married for almost ten years, been going on
ten years in December, and people will be like, how
you're gonna have a platform. I ain't gonna say people,
I'm say a small percentage you'll get people like how
you gonna have a platform talking about relationships when you
cheated on your ex wife?

Speaker 2 (19:12):
And I'm like, the only way y'all.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Know that is I told y'all of course through my transparency.
I said, people overcome by the word of my testimony.
So that's why I'm giving y'all that so y'all can
know that. So that the person that has mismanaged their
spouse in the past that they're not disqualified from love.
And God would use people like you and me to
be able to say, here's my scars, this is what
it is, that's what I did.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
I ain't perfect.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
I made mistakes, and this is how you heal from it,
and this is how you grow from it and let
me help you not make the same mistakes.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
And I'm grateful for God and his reminder because God
does not call the qualified, but he qualifies those that
he's called. And I've had to learn that because I
sometimes I look at myself, I'm like, this is supernatural,
because I don't know how I just came up with that, y'all.
The Lord is working through me right now. I don't
know so, and I'm grateful. I really am grateful for that.

(20:03):
I didn't feel like I was qualified, but I realized,
especially because a lot of people reassure me with that.
A lot of people come to me, especially married couples.
They're like, you know, you helped me here, And I'm like, oh,
that's a good feeling, is Lord?

Speaker 2 (20:16):
It is? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Can we can we shout your husband out? He's sitting
right here. Yeah you know what I'm saying, Yeah, you know, Yeah,
she married for real, y'all.

Speaker 3 (20:24):
I'm glad you said that because people just think I'm
just sat here.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
Just no, she ain't married for real.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
No, I'm married, I'm love, I'm nurtured, I'm protected, I
am provided for in real life.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Oh you a better talk that thing.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
I'm happy talked in real life in real life. Yeah,
I just don't want to expose my marriageip everybody.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Let me ask you just real quick, because some people
be like, oh, you this relationship person, why don't you
ever do interviews with your husband?

Speaker 2 (20:46):
What do you say about that?

Speaker 4 (20:47):
Absolutely not. This is not his lane, explained, We don't.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
We My husband is not one who wants to be
talking to people and stuff and all that.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
He's not you.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
You lucky if you get three words out of him,
that's just not what he does. He uses his hands,
he's us other things outside of this, And so this
is my field, this is my space.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
God didn't call him to this. God called me to this.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
So we're gonna leave this for me unless God changing
something up, and then, you know, just to add to that,
I really just prefer to keep me, my marriage and
my husband where we are.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
I don't want.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
People to feel like cause people feel like I was
talking to my best friend about to say, people feel
like just because they're having an opinion that they have
a right to play God. And so people start giving
all of these opinions, Well this should have been this way,
and I don't have time for that. Plus I you know,
God still working on that part of me. I would
go back and forward with you behind my marriage. Just
go ahead and mind your business. Now, I'm serious telling that.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Does you have to tell you like getting chilled? These
people don't matter like that all the time. So how
is this temperament?

Speaker 3 (21:48):
He's actually really cool, temperate compared to be. My husband's like,
don't worry about those people, because you have to understand,
like when you keep hearing opinions about yourself and you
keep hearing these stink pieces and stuff, it will get
to you. And he's like, don't don't let they get you.
Stop going to comment, stop worrying about that. You do
what you're supposed to be doing, and let's just keep
this bob, just keep it rolling. And so I take
take in and where my husband says, how.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Do you handle not letting that affect your marriage?

Speaker 1 (22:11):
Because you'll have people like especially on reality shows. They're
going to reality shows and I don't know the condition
of their relationship, but they don't be divorced.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
They'd be actually married. And then the people in.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
The comments start saying stuff, I don't know what happens
behind the scenes, but by the next season they divorce.
And so how do you not allow that to infiltrate
your marriage and be able to use your skill set
as a counselor use your submission to your husband who's
wisdom and be like, baby, don't worry about that.

Speaker 4 (22:38):
How do you balance I'm going to be honest with you.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
A lot of this took me to go into deep
pray and talk to God about this, because at one
point with me counseling couples, the things that I would
hear would be just so disheartening, so sad. It's just
I would hear so many things, and I will see
the impact and that would sit on me and I
would take it home and then there would be this
distance or me being quiet because I'm now thinking could

(23:03):
you possibly do this to me? But We've had to
have conversations about that. He's like, baby, that's not me.
That's not going to happen. But what I started doing. However,
is when I talk to God about it is I
have to sit and release what's not mine. If it's
something that's out of my control, even if it's my
clients and my couples I work with, surrender that to God.

Speaker 5 (23:22):
To God.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
Remember to separate that it's not you, that's their situation. Yes,
I've called you to counsel them, but this is not
your situation and you can't allow that to go home
with you because.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
It will, it will.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
How long did it take? How long to be married?

Speaker 4 (23:35):
I've been married for three years now.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Three years?

Speaker 1 (23:37):
How long did you get to the place where you
was like, I can't carry this stuff home into my marriage.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
What year was that where you had that breakthrough?

Speaker 3 (23:44):
I want to say that was probably beout a year ago.
That was probably about a year ago. Yeah, it was
probably about a year ago because I heard a really
horrible story and it really set on me. And I
think that one sat on me for probably about a week. Yeah,
it really sat o session. Yeah, you hear some really
horrible things sometimes, and so when you see people go

(24:04):
through the emotions and then you see people get angry
at each other in the sessions and stuff, you and
I'm trying to help counsel them.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
I work through that. It can sit on you.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
See.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
That's the reason why I couldn't do therapy like that,
be a counselor, because I'm very much an impath.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
I'm gonna carry your stuff.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
I'm just I'm an intercessor by nature, and so I
feel that stuff and I'd just be.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Like, You'd be like, what is wrong with you? Terairs
they was doing.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
I mean, I used to do prison ministry and I
used to work with the kids at George Beto not
George Beto, but George Beto is the other prison thing,
but whatever is off of thirty. I used to go
into juvenile TENSI cent and work with the boys every
Sunday and go have Bible study with them. And I
remember the first time I walked in there. This was
years ago. Man I walked in there and I started

(24:49):
hearing their stories and stuff that they did. Man I
walked out. I took the stairs, not the elevator, so
I could sit in the stairwell and cry. I was like,
I want to take them all home with me. I
want to go help them all. And they told me this,
They said, the kids that you see in here. If
you were to see him on the street, you can't
speak to him. You can't say I remember you in
this he said, even if they can't come up to
you and say, hey, I remember I met you, you know,

(25:13):
in Julie and begin talk to you, be like I
don't remember you. I said, what I got to actually
this own them act like I don't know. Said, yes,
you cannot act like you know them outside that, I said,
I still necessary where I was crying because this one
boy told me this. I had reached them in that
one conversation. He said, Man, he said, when I get

(25:33):
out of here, can I can you mentor me? And
I said I can't. And he was like, I ain't
gonna do nothing but end up back in here anyway,
because I ain't nobody helping me.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Oh, I was gone, Lord is gone.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
And the way he got in there is because his
mom was getting beat up by her boyfriend and he
jumped in and beat the beat the dude up, and
she called the police on him.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
He got locked up.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
So he told me, he's like, he's like, man, if
I get back out there, I say, I ain't got nobody.
That's a good influence. He said, I'm gonna end up
right back in here now when that's there. Well, who
God help I was you know what.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
You're saying something about intercession. I didn't realize how those
go hand in hand. Yeah, because I'm an innecessor yep,
So I didn't realize how that goes hand in hand.
And now I'm thinking about it's like, huh.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
Because you have to carry it in order to intercede.
You gotta first become one with their problem or issue.
You carry it, and then you have to release it.
But if you can't carry it and you don't feel it,
then you just be like God help them, and it's
more external. But when you're able to hear people stuff
and you feel the weight of it, that's how you're
able to prophetically break through through people.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Because you say I can carry it.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
It's operating in the spirit of how Jesus Christ he
bore our sins.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
He took it, and then he carried it and then
he released it.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
And so what God does is he uses people like
you and me to be able to say, all right,
you can hear somebody's situation and not be so detached
from it.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
You can carry that, bad boy. But the struggle is
to be able to.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Release it, because my problem was I'll carry it and
then I'll try to fix it.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
You know what's crazy is if someone's talking to me
right now, better situation they're going through. I don't think
it has the same impact as if when God wakes
me up in the middle of the night and put
someone on my spirit and then I have to go
and pray for them, because that has happened so many times,
and I've had to explain, like even in the studies,
because once I it's once I put it out there
that I'm an indecessor. Oh that just I head so

(27:25):
many prayer requests. I'm like, hey, hey, hey, okay, I'm
holy spirit led. But what I what I realized is
that whenever God places someone on my spirit, he'll sign
someone to me and He's waken me up, wake me
up through that throughout the night, on praying in a day,
or just anything that He's instructed me to do.

Speaker 4 (27:40):
That's when it gets to me.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
That is I try to explain to people interceding, any
type of intercession, is physically draining. Yes, it is physically draining,
and you may think we're just in a physical but
we're also in the spirit as well, and so I
don't think people fully understand that. When I was speaking
in tongues in the spirit, that was one of those moments.
That was probably one of the moments where I was like,

(28:01):
God just really opened my eyes. The Holy Spirit was
just moving. I was on fire, and he had me
going to the spirit and I was interceding. I was
spreaking in tongues. And then what I felt and what
I knew God was telling me to do was call
that to other intercessors. And my mom told me she
was praying in that same exact moment for the person
we were praying for, and that person had a breakthrough,
and I thank God for that. But that was, as

(28:22):
you said, it's like wow. And it's crazy because even
before that, when I kept feeling her in my spirit,
my mom we were sitting in the office and she
was telling me. She was like, are you okay? Because
I was pacing back and forth. I'm like, something's wrong.
I'm like, why do I feel grief right now? And
it was because she was about to do something that
was going to grieve the spirit, and God was like,
she is going to end up losing her salvation, And

(28:43):
I mean I was feeling every emotion she was going through.
I was feeling grief, and it was just it was
a long couple of days. It was a long couple
of days. It was a long couple of days. You
know it's serious when you start fasting for somebody. It
was a long couple of days.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
It was let us back up, So how did you meet?
We ain't gonna talk about your first husband, not that
I don't care about. I'm just I don't care about.
So how did you meet? And I love when I
have couples on there because they always have two different
stories about how they met each other, and so you.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
Get to win. He don't get the chance to defend
you know his story. So how did y'all meet?

Speaker 4 (29:19):
We met in reed middle school. Yeah, readA duck.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
We met were thirteen years old. Really, Yeah, We've been
knowing each other since we were thirteen. Wow, have never dated.
We've always been really fond of each other's friends, having
a good time, met his family, things like that. We
would go to like people's parties and stuff and all
that together over the years. What was happening was because
like I said, it was a friendship. He would call
me at random times while I was in the midst

(29:46):
of a problem, like my tire is flat, my break
life just went out, something is going on, and he
would just randomly call me and were like, hey, what
you doing.

Speaker 4 (29:54):
I'm like, I have a flat right now.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
And instead of him saying do you have somebody to
help you, it was always sending your location, seem me
where you are. He would go and get the tools.
He will always make sure that he looked out for me.
And we still kept it at a friendship, right, but
we knew we had feelings, but we kept at a friendship.
You know, a lot of times you don't want to
lose that friendship. And then there was some time, you know,
where he dated people and I dated people and stuff

(30:18):
like that. And the last guy that I was actually dating,
God made sure that I ended it with him. He
made sure, when I tell you, he showed me every
bad thing about that person.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
He made sure that I did.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
And it was crazy because immediately when I cut it
off with that guy, immediately then here comes my husband.
I made a video and I had posted and he's
in the comments and he's like, I have all of
those qualities. And I was like, oh, is that what
you did?

Speaker 4 (30:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:49):
And so I was like, but mind you, I haven't
spoken to him in a while, and I was like lose.
And then we were texting and he's like, hey, you
want to hang out?

Speaker 2 (30:57):
In the comments?

Speaker 3 (30:58):
Yeah, he was like I have all those all these
green flags, and I was like, lo even still in
my mind we're friends, and so he was like, hey,
you want to hang out. We never hung out the
way that we did that weekend. It was a very
intimate hangout, like we were just going to like different
stores and furniture places and going out to eat, and
then we ended up having a dance off in a
parking lot.

Speaker 4 (31:17):
He spin me around.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
We were acting like children, just having a good time.
And then of course there was some time because I
think he got a little scared. I think he was like,
hold on, I'm this is deep feelings, and I know
your past used to play off in your past, and
he was like.

Speaker 4 (31:31):
You know, I don't really know. I wasn't a savage,
you know, you thought he was going to take.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
And then just yeah, And so I told him. I
was like, all right, I don't have time for this.
And my best friend had came to Dallas, and I
was like and he had hit me up. I said no,
because you you doing that same thing that ghosts and thinking.
He was like, I'm sorry. I just he was like,
we've just been going through it. Can we hang out?

Speaker 4 (31:53):
I said no.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
I said, I'm about to go to at home to
find these pictures. And then the next day he calls
me and he's like, hey, what you doing. I said,
I'm at sam trying to find me an office share
and he was like, okay. He pulls up to my
office because he had the location to my office. He
pulls up, he comes, I'm in the car. Me and
my best friend are still in the car. He goes,
opens up the trunk, gets the chair out. He takes
it up to my office, breaks out his tools and

(32:16):
he was a no, he ain't reading no instructions. He
just puting the chair together. He puts it together and
I tell my best friend. She over there sitting on
my couch in the office.

Speaker 4 (32:23):
I said, h. I said, I love it.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
Man.

Speaker 4 (32:26):
I can use his hands. I said okay, h. And
he was like, he said, I want to go to
saw Grass. You want to come?

Speaker 3 (32:33):
I said, if you don't send me the location when
you go to Sawgrass. I'm not coming. I said, I'm
not going to play with you this time. He got
the sawgrass and send me the location immediately, and I
showed it to my best friend. She said, hmm, he
did right. And then we've just been hitting it off
ever since. And then I had a photo shoot. And
at that photo shoot, I had on a pink dress
and I was taking a shoot. I was looking outside

(32:53):
of the window and he said it was that moment
and he said, right there, he said, that's my wife.
And he told me after that, he said, when you
looking at the window, I said, that's my wife.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
So how much time had from the day that y'all
started giving y'allself a chance romantically? How long was that
to the moment he said that's my wife.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
I don't even think that was a month. Really, I'm serious.
I don't think that was a month. I don't think
that it was. When you know, you know when you know.
And I knew for a fact because I know how
God is with me. I knew for a fact, and
based off the conversations that I had with God as well,
I knew for a fact that was my husband. And
that's the reason why God has always made sure we
stayed in each other's life. That's the reason why. And

(33:34):
like I said, he reminded me so much of my grandfather,
and my grandfather's my heart. He reminded me so much
of my grandfather. It was just always I'm gonna take
care of you. You don't worry about nothing.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
I have it.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
It was never a moment of do you need were you?
It just was always He's taken care of it. And
so I was like, oh, yeah, I knew it.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
So the moment where he was being funny acting and
was ghosting you, had you started getting your emotions caught
up and didn't tell him so watch you, so watch you?

Speaker 2 (34:02):
So why did it bother you so much?

Speaker 4 (34:03):
Because that's my friend?

Speaker 3 (34:05):
That was my friend, And like, I feel like we
were cool enough to be able to have that conversation
and it's like, don't start getting quiet. And I just
the way that that day was, well, I guess you
could say, yeah, I get the weight that day was. Yeah,
you're right, the way that day was it was something different.
We've never experienced that, and I guess I just saw
him differently then, So.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
So when he pulled back at that moment, he was like,
now listen because that that probably was a trauma part
for your trigger. It's like saying, now you're trying to
abandon me, that I deal with this little abandonment issue
that I may have dealt with with my father. And
so now here we are in this moment, you don't
abandon me and took me over here.

Speaker 4 (34:43):
Didn't go all the way back to my dad. He
didn't go that far.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
But it was just you know, you live through life
and you know exactly what you don't want it what
you're not going to tolerate. And that was big for me.
I am big on communication. You concept to just talk
to me about it. You can say, hey, I'm going
through something. I'll talk to you later, all right.

Speaker 4 (34:58):
Cool.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Because he had gone back to friend ship at that moment, platonic.
Oh yeah, so where y'all got to. He could have
just said, okay, I only see you as a friend
and you've been okay with it.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
I still would have been his friend. Yeah, that's how
much respect I have on I said it would have
been his friend.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
That's how much respect I have for him.

Speaker 4 (35:14):
I have a lot of respect for him. I always have.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
Why is that important.

Speaker 4 (35:18):
Oh, respect is significant to me. I want to say
that respect for me.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Is important because I feel as though when you respect
the person, you honor that person as well. Yes, and
when you honor that person, you delight in that person.
And specifically for my spouse, I respect him, I honor him,
and I delight in my spouse.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Hold on, now, I ain't never heard nobody say I
delight in my spouse. The Bible it says it. Oh yeah,
that's a good word.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
It tells you, It tells you.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
So I think that's another thing that we're missing now
in marriage as well. Is delighting in your spouse and
delighting in your marriage. Make it fun, have fun. Remember
that it's so much more than circumstances and fluctuating emotions.
This is a person that you have. Use your anchor.
Always remember what your anchor. Your vows are, your ancher.
And you took these vows upon God. You stood below God,

(36:06):
and you say, all right, Lord, this is what we're doing.
You gave us a yes, and this is what we're doing.
And over time, things start to fade. The passion starts
to fade, the fire starts to fade. But whenever you
find a way to get back to the pure joy
of knowing that I'm serving you, the pure joy of
knowing that this marriage is not just about me and you.
We will glorifying God in this marriage. The pure joy

(36:29):
of knowing that we're doing this together and people are
bearing witness to our union. That's how it's easier to
delight when you do that. It's easier to do that
when you can just get back to where your anchor is.
And so that for me is important.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
But this was in friendship. You said you had all
these things respect on that line.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
I had all all of those things, Yes, in a friendship.
When God revealed that that was my husband, here we go.
Now we have more. But I also was able to
delight in my friendship. If I was able to delight
in my friendship with him, sure enough, I was gonna
be able to delight in my marriage.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
So that month of him telling you that that didn't
scare you. No, you just it was confirming to you.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
It's scared me because I had talked to God about it.
I'm gonna talk to God. I'm not a person who
was gonna say I'm gonna do what I want to do.
And then talk God. I did that in the past.
That's a problem. We use God as a last resource,
and so we're not gonna do that. Let me talk
to you about it, because I can't make this mistake
over again. So let me have this conversation. And that
was a conversation I had, And when God revealed it,

(37:25):
I said, okay, my hands are So that.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
Came before the photo shoot, that conversation with God.

Speaker 4 (37:30):
No, they came immediately after the photoshoot.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
So when he said that to you, did you talk
to God? And God said.

Speaker 4 (37:36):
Yes, I had to talk to God about it.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Did you did you relate that back to him quickly?
Did you do that?

Speaker 3 (37:41):
I'm just kind of because I know him and God
got their own conversations.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
M h.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
I just watched to see how he was going to move.
But I had already had that coming now. Of course,
later on we had that conversation. But exactly after that, No,
I took some time.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
How long did it take you to tell him? I
know God told him this thing.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
It didn't take me long at all. Everything kind of
happened rapidly. Everything happened within a six months spiel.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
So six months I got married in six months.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
Everything happened within a six months Spiel a little over
six months. But as far as like, as far as
like relationship and stuff and all that, that was within
the six months, and you were and you.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Were, no past triggers popped up, no whatever, y'all, y'all
were just good, y'all. Was just this is what I'm
marrying my best friend.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
It was no past trigger.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
It needs to be in past triggers when you when
you really surrender something to God. For me specifically, I
speak to myself when you fully surrender something to God.
Of course, you may have moments where it comes back up.
When you keep daily surrendering this to God, eventually he'll
take it away. And because I had done so much
work on myself, there was not many triggers that would
start to show up because I can't allow those things

(38:53):
to have agency over me. These are experiences that I've
had before. I had a lot of woundedness and a
lot of voice that I was trying to feel, and
I wasn't in that place anymore. So it wasn't a
need for me to be loved or anything like that.
It's okay however it goes. But my trust was in God.
Specifically in that moment and everything after that, and even
before that, my trust was in God. So when God

(39:14):
told me to let the other guy alone, leave him alone,
he is not for you.

Speaker 4 (39:18):
I was obedient to that. Now he har you no
with that person.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
He said no, because God really revealed everything.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
And I have to ask all the reason why he
wasn't trying to find no closures.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
I saw everything. I saw everything. Mind you, like I said,
I see. So when I tell you God revealed this
is not just physical revelations. It's a spiritual revelation as well.
And it's like, Okay, I got it.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Bye.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
And then right when I said goodbye to that person,
I'm telling you it happened to meet it.

Speaker 4 (39:46):
I said, Oh, look at that, it was great. Yes,
thank God.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
So when you look back at that, why do you
think it was so important for you to meet your
husband when you did?

Speaker 4 (39:58):
Why do I think that it was so important for
me to meet him when I did?

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Because think about it, you could have win and start
serving purpose doing the stuff that you're doing now. Then
beat him on the road meet him later. But God,
when you look at look back hindsight being twenty twenty,
you met him right after closing the door on the
other guy, and then he comes into your life. What
was going on in your life tied to purpose? You
were were you're in school doing therapy or what with

(40:23):
what we're doing at the time.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
I was actually counseling about then, So you were counseling. Yeah,
I was counseling at that point. I really feel like
in order for me to be able, in order for
me to be able to really live out the purpose
that God had for me, I needed my husband with me.
I did you notice he's always with me? Yeah, like
he really is. He's that support that I needed. But

(40:48):
also people needed to be able to witness a God's
centered marriage and that is important. So if I'm gonna
go out here ministering, especially in marriage ministering, people need
to be able to see exactly what it means to
keep God at the center of your marriage.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
What does that look like in conflict?

Speaker 3 (41:04):
What does that look like when things start to fade,
What does that look like when things start to change?
They need to be able to see that. But also
I needed to be nurtured as well on this walk,
because when you are doing ministry, it can take so
much out of you. And so to be able to
have that support who can nurture you and nurture your
spirit as well is a good thing. So I feel
like God orchestrated, I know, God orchestrated everything the way

(41:26):
that it needed to be orchestrated, because it just it
really just helped and the impact was so much greater
as well.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Six months.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yeah, it was pretty fast. It was pretty fast, but
we knew, so I wasn't really worried about it.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
But also helped y'all know each other since middle school.
Oh yeah, I mean it's like, yeah, you marry and
your best friend, And that's what I say with people,
if you build a solid friendship. Studies show that if
you built from a solid friendship, your marriage is gonna last.
I mean, that's where you really get to to death Dew.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
We part.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
It's because y'all really, just like you said, when the
communication got a little if he during that little season,
you was like, now, come on, we better than that.
We can talk about it. If you're not feeling me
like that, no more.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
If you're a little nervous about this, let's talk about
if you got your heart involved, you're scary, which happens
with a lot of men. When men really feel like
that's the one, they'd be like, if this girl can
hurt me, she can hurt me real bad. I'm telling
you in my life, I'm telling you it will make
you sit there and be like, if I put myself
out there and it's not mutual, man, I done messed

(42:29):
up because I really want this person.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
But you know what, I do believe that that set
the tone for our marriage as well, because I was
so big on communication and he told me that before
he feels safe enough to be able to talk to
me about certain things. I'm big on us communicating, and
it's going to be respectful. I want to be able
to hear you. I don't want you to feel like
I'm the only voice in this marriage. You have a
voice too, And I feel like that definitely set the
tone because whenever we speak to each other, we pay

(42:51):
attention to our tone or attitudes, how we approaching things
like that, so we're able to really talk talk through things.
We don't have conflict like that because we talk through it.
So I feel like a lot of those things, just
like how things played out when I look at it,
that was god like piecing everything together, like, oh, you,
I gotta wrap back that. I've taken care of that already.
I really do believe. So I believe God put us
together for a reason.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
What did he say to you when he saw God
taking you to another level, saying that now you're finna
start touring, You're about to do all this stuff. Your
voice is about to be amplified on stages. What was
that conversation like?

Speaker 4 (43:24):
It was just full support. That's really just what it was.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Like.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
He is very supportive. It was just full support. Whatever
you need from me, I'm here. That was all that
it is. It's just always been full of support. He
was always he was just always with me. He had
already seen me online, you know, getting attraction. But of
course when the tour came, by that time I think
I had Yeah, I went to Dayton and I did
the studio and then after that they asked me to
come on tour. Yeah, but then I got pregnant, so

(43:50):
I couldn't go on that tour and has a way
to the next tour. But he has that wrong with that,
But it was it was full support. I thank God
for this specifically though, is I come from marriages and
he come from marriages too. His grandparents were married for
a very long time, very very very long time. His
grandfather passed and his grandmother recently just passed. But he

(44:13):
came from being able to k He was able to
see a very healthy marriage and a fruitful marriage too.
And then my side of the family is full of marriages,
so we were able to bring that together as well.
I've always known marriage my whole life. That's why I
advocate for marriage so much, because I've seen it. I
was a little girl who was nosy, and so when

(44:33):
I was not supposed to be.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
In a room with her doorsations.

Speaker 4 (44:36):
Exactly, I was speaking around the corner. I was nosy.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
I was always in somebody else's business, and so I
would hear certain conversations, certain conversations I probably should have
never heard. But it also helped me see how people
came back together. And so I was able to witness that, Yeah,
they get mad at each other, but their marriage and
they honored their marriage. But it's not even honored their marriage.
Because I come from a background Kojic background specifically, and
we were rooted in the word, I was able to

(45:00):
see God bring and restore marriages, and so that's what
I learned.

Speaker 4 (45:04):
I learned.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
Of course, my family has always taught me that God
is the creator of marriage. So if God is the
creative marriage, he can restore marriage as well. He can
give grace in the mess, and he can give power
for a miracle. And so I've always learned that from
my family, So I carried that and so whenever I
even in my marriage and when I'm working with people
in their marriages or even just speaking to married couples,
it's like God can restore, but you have to put

(45:25):
full trust in him.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
You have to be able to trust God.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
But a lot of people struggle with trusting God that
part because you can't see what.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
He's gonna do.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
So you've been advocating for marriage, and your voice is amplified,
very loud, and sometimes it comes off extremely harsh. And
you said that you always pray and say God help me,
you know, tone me down. So I ain't just you know,
like this, what is that about? Why do you feel
like you go so hard when you hear people say

(45:58):
ignorant people to be ignorant comments that they say that
that comes against the sanctity of.

Speaker 3 (46:04):
Marriage because marriage is a covenant and it irritates me.
And what happens in society now is people are escapists,
and when you have an escape plan in a marriage,
that means that you have one foot outside of the covenant,
and that is not how it's supposed to be. That
irritates me because people really do. People have distorted marriage
so much, and if it's frustrating to me, this is

(46:24):
a covenant that we're not going to just minimize marriage
and distort it to just simply being a contract. People
look at marriage like, Okay, I can gain something from
another person. I can get either some type of status
or finances, or because I can't handle my love for spirit,
let me just get marriage so that way I can
keep having sex with this person. And that's just not
what marriage is. And I hear so many people being

(46:47):
very selfish about marriage. It's about me what I want
is like, that's not what it is. We are using
marriage to advance the Kingdom of God and to glorify God.

Speaker 4 (46:56):
Marriage is a covenant.

Speaker 3 (46:57):
This is a binding agreement and you stood before God,
and so it's frustrating to me. I don't like when
people play about marriage because essentially you're planning about God
and I have an issue with that. I don't play
about God, and I don't want to see nobody else
play well God, this is God's creation, just like where
God's creation, Marriage is God's creation, and he knew what
he was doing when he created marriage. So let's take

(47:20):
it serious and let's keep it sacred. For one, that's
another thing. But I think also to add to that
point is that there's a lot of marriages that really
are not God's centered. They're not people marriage just philus
for reasons, just because they wanted to right. And that's
another issue that I have when it comes to marriage.

(47:42):
Let's sanctify marriage. Let's get marriage back to the sacred
space that it is. Let's do that. And so that's
the reason why I speak the way that I do.
I want marriage to be holy. God brought two imperfect,
flawed people together to make something holy. And the moment
that a person sees a flow, all they want to
run away from it. But that's not what God called

(48:02):
when it comes to marriage. He wants us to be
set apart, set apart from the world, set apart.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
For other marriages.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
People need to be able to find God in our marriage.
They need to be able to see God. We are
a living picture of Christ's relationship with the Church. So
therefore people need to be able to see it. And
so for me, from my standpoint, that's the reason why
I sanctify my marriage. You will hear me going in
the closet, Jehovah Mekadeshkian. I need you to sanctify my

(48:28):
marriage right now, because Lord said, I'm the Lord that sanctifies,
and so if we want to be set apart, holy
is the state. Holy is the state of being set apart.
For Christ, sanctification is the process of making things holy.
So I'm really big on calling everybody to sanctify your
marriage so you can be set apart, so we can
be utilized to fulfill God's purpose and his will as

(48:49):
we are designed to do. So that's why I'm big
on marriage the way that I am. I don't play
about it, but I was raised that way and I
need people to get back to what it is. How
selfish is it? How selfish? How selfish is it as
people to say that we want to live according to
our will when we have a God who has been

(49:09):
unchanging in his nature. That's why you heard me constantly
humming God's unchanging hand that has just been in my
spirit for two weeks now. God's nature, his character is unchanging,
his promises are unchanging. And that's our model right there
for marriage. If God will continue to love you despite
what you do to him, if God will continue to

(49:29):
forgive you despite the sin that you have committed, why
is it that we cannot take that model and be
unchanging in our marriage as well. But the moment we
don't feel happy, because people use marriage for personal fulfillment,
the moment we don't feel happy, we want to run.
The moment that things change, we want to run. Oh oh,
you're making less money than you did before. You want
to run. But our model says that our nature should

(49:52):
be unchanging. And for a minute, if love is not
there for you, then go to God about it and
tell God today I don't feel loving God, but I
know that you are love and I need you to
bring this love in me. And so what we do,
what we tip to do in marriages, is that we
fall out of love and our feelings change and stuff,
and then we try to manufacture these emotions when we

(50:12):
don't have to. If you take it to God, he
can help you gain that back. But people have gotten
a way from going to God. Whenever they're going through
things in their marriage, they go to social media. They
go on social media Instagram, tiktoks. You listen to people
who are bitter, You are listening to people who have
unforgiveness in their heart instead of taking that to God.
Stop using God as the last tool. Go to him first.

(50:34):
If you are struggling with forgiveness, you need to go
to God first. Why are you going to other people
who are telling you should not forgive that person. When
God commands us to forgive, you are supposed to forgive.
It's stuff like that that really works me up. And
in today's society, people are so unforgiving and it hurts
my heart, it really does, especially when it comes to

(50:55):
your spouse. You under threefold with you, your spouse and
God the sinner. And God has commanded you to forgive
because when you don't forgive, you nurture sin in your
heart and God is not pleased with that. And trust me,
God is not going to reward you for that sin
that you're protecting. And that's the reason why people be
resentful and bitter and angry and have hate towards the

(51:18):
spouse because that unforgiveness is sitting in their heart. And
this is the society that we live and people who
are unforgiving, and we bringing that nonsense into marriage. Let's
keep marriage what it is and stop treating it for
what it is that you want. Let's keep marriage of
what it is. It's sacred, it's separate from everybody else
for a reason. Let's get back to what marriage is.
Let's get back to using our marriage to be able

(51:39):
to help the community, to serve others, to serve the people,
to serve who God has called us. Let's use marriage
for that reason again. But people have not been doing that,
and it hurts my heart while we treating marriage like
it's everything else in this world. It's the reason why
God called man a woman together. He knew what he
was doing. We didn't know what he was doing. He

(52:00):
knew what he was doing. So that's I'm just really
big on marriage.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
I love marriage. That's my ministry for reason.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
I just let you cook. I want you to cook.

Speaker 3 (52:11):
That's my ministry for a reason. And I just want
people to get back to God. That's my biggest thing.
I want you to get back to God. And that's
why I love my marriage. Because my marriage when people
see it, my friends and everybody around they look up
to our marriage. When people see it, they say, you
know what I do want that? Yeah, because the world
tells you not to go for it, your pain tells
you not to go for it. The world is talking

(52:33):
to you. But God, if God has called you to
be married, He's going to make sure that it happens.
But you have to trust that God can restore whatever God,
whatever God creates, he's going to make sure that he
works through it, and he's going to take care of
it and he's going to complete it. You just trust
him in the process. I've watched people get divorced. I've
seen so many divorces. I've watched people leave marriages. Like

(52:57):
I've watched people who already had an escape plan. It
was a clip that I saw that really annoyed me
about an escape plan. You know, either you got another person,
or you saving some money, or it's just the mindset
that you want to escaping. Like I said, that means
that you have one foot out side of the covenant.
And so why are we treating covenant like that? Why
are you Because that in another way, it's you telling God.
I don't trust you, So why are we treating it

(53:20):
that way? When you came into a marriage, the plan
was not to escape. The plan was to make sure
that you're honoring God. So why are we getting away
from that? What is it that you are so desperate
to have in your life to where you can't fulfill
the will of God? That's pride. That's all that it is,
is people's pride. And people can't get that under control.
They can't get that pride under control, and that's why

(53:42):
we can't really have healthy marriages like we should have, because,
for one, people are not using the appropriate models that
they're supposed to be used. Yep, that's the biggest issue
that I have, and I you know, I anybody who
is married, who is in a season right now. My
biggest thing is to remember that God is greater than
whatever season it is that you are in. But in

(54:05):
order for you to trust God, that means that you
have to relinquish control as well. You have to trust
something that you don't see, and you have to fully
surrender control to God. But people cannot fully surrender control
to God. It's hard for him to do so because
now I can't control it. How I want it to
look so.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
We're going to stay there. And then, so how can
they surrender? What does surrender? Fully surrendering over to God.
Say that you have a let's create a scenario a wife.
I'm going to say a husband, because it's too low fruit.
If I say a wife found out a husband's cheating,
a husband finds out his wife is cheating on her,
the Bible gives you grounds to get a divorce. But

(54:41):
y'a also says that, hey, if you want to stay
in that marriage, you want to honor it, I can
heal that as well.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
What does it look like to surrender to.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
Fully petition in prayer? That's the first thing, to fully
petition in prayer. God is so good that he gives
us his character and his nature and specific and we
can petition it in the spirit. So if you need healing,
you call on a God who heals. You go into
your prayer. You caught on a God who heals. And
if your spouse for some reason doesn't want to pray

(55:10):
for you, you can create holiness in your marriage. Again
you give it to God. That's going to be a
every day, daily surrendering. I'm angry today, I'm mad today.
I'm hurt today. But Lord, I know you can provide. Lord,
I know you are a healer. Lord, I know that
you can sustain this marriage. Lord, I know that you
can restore this. But that's a daily sacrifice that has

(55:30):
to be given. But also in the midst of that
as well, you got to layer your spiritual disciplines as well.
It's not just prayer, fast as well. Fast for your marriage.
The Lord told me before. It was a whole bunch
of scenanigans that happened this year. The Lord told me.
I believe it was January twelfth, and he told me
to anoint my marriage. My marriage was attacked. A couple
of weeks after that, God woke me up and sold

(55:51):
me to anoint my marriage. I went in my prayer closet,
I turned my coundles on, I turned that big light off.
I went over there, I got my oil, I prayed
over my ol, I blessed myself and I went into prayer,
and then I put the oil on my ring. And
when my husband's sleep, I put the oil on his ring.
And I went back into that prayer closet and I
was praying, and I was warning in the spirit because
he was showing me something was coming, something big was

(56:11):
about to come and attack your marriage. Because my marriage
is going to be a great example for other marriages.
And so I had to go into that clause. And
this is not a one time thing. I have to
continue to anoint my marriage.

Speaker 4 (56:23):
That means that.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
So for a person who was going through that in
that moment, learn how to anoint your marriage.

Speaker 4 (56:28):
Get so close to God, pray.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
So much, meditate on your words so much that His
voice becomes something that's just instant. You can hear it
before you hear your own voice. You want to be
a direct communication with God. Larry your disciplines because when God,
if you are going through something, God has to go
through all of these displance prayer and you just basically
have to go through consecration before He can commission you
out to where you're supposed to go to. So if

(56:51):
I'm about to do some restoring, cleansing and strengthening, I
need your yes as well. God is sovereign, he don't
need your permission for his authority. That's not what we're saying.
But he also doesn't need your resistance as well. If
you want God to restore your marriage, that means that
you need to give him your Yes, I'm hurting right now, Lord,
I am upset, But Jehovah Raphi, I know that you

(57:13):
are the God who heals right now, So God, I
am calling out to your name right now. I am hurt,
I am distressed, I am in agony, but I know
that my emotions are not bigger than your restoration, Father God.
So that is what I mean. Go in there in
war behind your marriage. Stop worrying about what other people say,
because half those people ain't never ward behind their marriage.
But this is something greater than you. This is God's

(57:35):
will right now. It's the sin that caused that person
to do what they did. It's the lustful spirit. And
once a person gets caught onto that lustful spirit, that
lustful spirit is never satisfied. I got a little bit
of this, but ooh, you got a taste it, and
let get Let's give you something else. So you got
to pray that spirit away as well. Okay, so maybe
you can't pray. Maybe the world got you, but that's

(57:56):
all right because God got me. I'm still over here,
so I'm gonna stealer. Make sure that I keep myself
set apart from sin, and I'm going to do what
God has called and commanded me to do. And I'm
going to pray that, in God's timing, by his nature,
by his will, that you will come back how He
needs you to come back, not just simply for me,
for the sake of what we have done for God,

(58:17):
for the sake of what God has called us to do.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
I want you to speak to single women.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
I get so many dms since I announced that I'm
getting married. It's inspired a lot of people. They've been like, Wow,
this is for us. We're going to create a hashtag
that says this is for all of us. But everybody
kept saying this engagement, this wedding is for all of us.
But there's also a segment of single women who have
grown weary and they're well doing. They've been seeking God

(58:45):
fast and volunteering at the church. They've taken courses, they've
gone to Woman Evolved, They've been every time there's a
moment to go fellowship with other women to lift up
the name of the Most High. They get high in
that moment and they come back to their homes with
no man in sight, and they desire that do you

(59:07):
have a word in your heart to encourage those women
and look at that camera and talk to you those.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
Queens, Hey, single babies.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
It is if you're called to be a wife, because
not everyone's called to be a wife, Not everyone's called
to be a husband. If you're called to be one,
you'll know because God. To keep it in your heart.
Make sure that the desire that you have is not
becoming an idol. Make sure that you keep God at
the center of everything that you're doing. That whatever it
is that you're doing, you're doing it for the glory
of God, and you are doing it for the sake
of God, not for the sake of being married. Whoever

(59:36):
God has for you, they will find their way to you.
But He is going to take you through a season
of preparation. You're going to have to be pruned and refined.
But you have to be patient. I know it's uncomfortable,
I know it is a lonely road. But keep God,
keep Jesus at the center. You will find love. God
is love. You will find love there. If you feel

(59:57):
like I'm lonely, take that to God. Keep taking that
to God. He would give you the comfort in that season.
If you feel like you need refuge, you feel like
it's not safe for you to be alone. Seek refuge
on the god swaying. He is going to be there.
But whatever it is that you are going through, whatever desire,
you have, submit that to God. So if your desire
aligns with His will, it would be so in his timing.

(01:00:17):
But you have to trust God in the process. H
I want married people to win. I want marriage to win,
but I want God to win above all. Yeah, but
I want marriage. I want marriage to be what it
is supposed to be. And I don't want people to
distort marriage anymore because I know the things that people

(01:00:38):
do grieve the spirit, And I've said that a number
of times.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
How do you balance you know, you said, don't make
marriage an idol? How does someone not making the idol?
Or how do they distinguish whether or not they are
making the idol? They say, I wake up, I think
about it. I desire marriage. I'm about to hit forty
years old. I've been desired marriage. How do I know
that I'm not making that right?

Speaker 4 (01:01:00):
That's how you know? Right there?

Speaker 3 (01:01:01):
Are you fighting against a clock? You are fighting against
an imaginary clock. When it starts to become emotionally distressing
or it feels like it's becoming a pressure or you're
fighting against a clock that less you know, that's a
key indication that has become an idol.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
But think about you go to a gynocologists you want
to have kids. They want to have kids the right
way and covenant. The gynocologists are saying, hey, list, you're
thirty five years old. You're about to have a geriatric childbirth,
So do you really want to have kids? Go find somebody,
get these kids together. And you're doing everything right. You're
getting older and older and older, and now you're afraid
that you're going to be perimental pouzzle and then you

(01:01:39):
give up the opportunity to have a kid.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
You can be doing everything right, but if it doesn't
align with God's will, it's not going to happen. You
can be doing everything right according to your will, like
I was saying earlier, you're doing everything right according to
your well, But what if God didn't even call you
to have kids, like that's your desire, But.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
Then they have to gree the thought of not having
that Once that and the only way they're gonna know
that most of the time is after that time I
just transpired.

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
I'd rather you grieve the thought than doing something by
your own will and having to live the consequences of
that of not obeying God. I would much rather you
go through that process of grieving the thought of it.
I know it's uncomfortable because society tells us as women,
we're supposed to have kids, we're supposed to marry and
things like that. But you keep taking that to God.

(01:02:20):
Pray fast, consecrate, meditate on a word, Allow God to
give you that answer. Pray that God gives you the answer.
If He chooses to reveal it to you, you're going
to have to obey and accept it because we don't
know what's going to happen a minute from now, yep,
two months from now. But God knows what our life
is going to be, and he knows what he's protecting

(01:02:41):
us from. But he also knows what our calling iss
as well. So sometimes it's uncomfortable, but you have to
just accept it for what God has for you, and
you know, just ta.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
Keep taking it to God.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
I mean sometimes it's some moments where you just got
to cry and say Lord, why mean?

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
But you know it, just go through the process.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Yeah, and you know, I hope that whatever it is
that God has for everybody, that it passes through like
it's supposed to. And I really pray that everyone eventually
gives God. Yes, you will be surprised when you give God. Yes,
what happens when you do?

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
What is that song you kept humming? You want to
sing it?

Speaker 4 (01:03:17):
Unchanging hand?

Speaker 5 (01:03:18):
Yeah, I'm not sing on spot down now, don't sing it. Then,
don't sing it, but let let the song come out
of your heart. See beautiful, I didn't know you could
sing so well.

Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
It's God, so changing hand. He's kept it on my
spirit for a while. He's kept it on my spirit.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
For what can you put on the spirit of the people?
Can you sing it?

Speaker 4 (01:03:42):
Why are you trying to make me sing so.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
Because you sounded great, I did not know that you
can sing.

Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
I get nervous on spot.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
We are looking at you. Everybody turned it back, everybody,
everybody took it around.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Now I'm not gonna do it. I'm just I just
getting nervous on spot. You're gonna throw me off.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
No, it was so cool. I was like, I was
listening to you home and I said I didn't know
you can say He was like, yeah, I can.

Speaker 5 (01:04:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
I listened to a lot of old school music. God's
on Changing Hand is just a great song that says
to hold onto God's hand, God's on changing Hand, And
I really do I believe that if people do that,
there'll be a lot more content for where their life is.
If you now, sometimes when you hold onto God's hand,
he be moving, it get a little rough, but you

(01:04:23):
keep onto his hand because one thing God is going
to do is I always fulfill his promises. And he
showed us he's always fulfilled his promises. So if God
says it's going to be, it's going to be. Trusting
God is a different conversation. But when you hold onto
his hand, you're gonna have some faith. You gotta have
faith that God's gonna do it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
How long?

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
For two weeks, two weeks, two weeks it's been. It
was just playing over in the middle of the night,
and it just kept happening. It just kept happening. It
just kept happening, and I started to kind of realize
why it was not just for me. It was people
that I was speaking to over the past couple of
works in the past two weeks of just knowing that whatever
God said he's going to do, he's going to do
his nature.

Speaker 4 (01:05:00):
It's not going to change.

Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
So regardless you may do certain things, you may do
things that grieve the spirit. God is still going to
be God at the end of the day, and he
has redemptive love, just as he has redemptive anger. So
even if you anger God, you'll be redeemed. But you
have to stay right there at God's feet.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
Can you know how you snapped?

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
How much you snapped when I just mentioned about marriage,
and how sorry? Did I again? You went in for
about ten minutes. Oh yeah, you snapping And I loved
it because that's when you're operating in your passion. It's
like and when I tell you you carried so much
weight in that and so much wisdom because the reality is, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
We do use marriage very haphazardly. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
We treat marriage a lot of times people are treating
marriage like their dating life, you know what I'm saying,
to be like I broke up with them in the marriage,
like I don't want to be with them. No mo,
he may be mad you like you married. You just
can't just break up, you know what I'm saying. But
it's the same level of it. I interviewed jess Lynn
told her, and she calls it stick to itness. She said,
why don't people have stick to itness anymore? That they

(01:06:06):
go through it? Argument don't want to be married? No more,
they go through a problem, they don't want to be married.
The lights get cut off, electricity a bill to get paid.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
I can't. I ain't gonna be married to nobody with
a lights getting caught and leave.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
You be like, why take vows for richer, for poor,
for better or for worse through sickness and and hell,
why do you take those extreme vowels if you can't
even handle any part of that?

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
You know, And it's it's interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:06:27):
People just don't have God at the center. A threefold
court is harder to break. The word tells us that
it's harder to break when God is at that center,
he will keep it together. When you start to feel
like you are coming off, it's getting rocket stuff like that.
As long as God is into center, in the center,
you treat it as such, it's not going to break.
That is it's the people who don't keep God at
the center. They keep God on standby.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
I can talk to.

Speaker 1 (01:06:52):
You all day, I know. Let me just say this
to you, what do you have on your heart. Anything
else you want to say before I let you go?
You got any projects we can support about to bring you?
Are you going to bring life back into your podcast?
You're gonna bring your podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:07:03):
They're gonna bring life back into my podcasts. I am.
You know what everyone wants me to cook?

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
You know, the last time I did a video where
I was cooking and I was talking about I don't
know if it was Ruth or Essa.

Speaker 4 (01:07:12):
I can't remember who it was, but.

Speaker 3 (01:07:14):
They like, we like when you cook because there's a
lot of women who have not been trained on how
to be a wife. And so it's like they look
at me and they're like, you have it all together,
and it's like, hey, y'all are only saying what was
poured in to me. But I do have that. I
am going to be working back on my podcast. I'm
going to get back to what people have been asking
me to do. But my biggest thing right now is
for anyone who is listening right now. I know that

(01:07:34):
life can seem like it is crazy, and life can
feel unstable, but God can stabilize the unstable, and you
have to remember that as long as you find your
way back to God.

Speaker 4 (01:07:44):
It's hard right now in this season.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
It's hard in the world that we live in because
you have so many people who are telling you God's
not real and why would God allow this? But remember
that we serve a God that is a God of love.
Remember that we serve a redemptive God. We serve a
transformative God. And God can restore with whatever it is,
and he can meet every need that you have so long.

Speaker 4 (01:08:02):
As it aligns with His will.

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
And I can tell you as somebody who has lived
in the world and has done so many things to
grieve the spirit, it is a better life to live
when you are living and serving God because He will
preserve you so long as you serve him. So that's
that's my word for whoever is on the other side.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Want you stop now because you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
Were setting them up for the Center's prayer, So go
ahead and just take them on that. I was setting
him up aware you were about to bring him to Christ.
Go ahead and go ahead, go ahead and take them
through the Center's prayer and we're gonna.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
Pray for him.

Speaker 1 (01:08:30):
That's what you sending them all up in that we're
off the call, So go ahead and go ahead and
bring them to this gonna.

Speaker 4 (01:08:36):
Get We're gonna close our prayers all right.

Speaker 3 (01:08:40):
This is for everyone who is sitting and watching this
on the screen right now, for those who are weary
in our spirit, for those who feel lost, for those
who are confused, for those who are doubtful. Father God,
I thank you for bringing us together today in this moment,
Father God, Father God, I thank you for utilizing our
voices to be able to heal the hearts of those
who are listening. We thank you God for your transformation.

(01:09:03):
We thank you for your steadfast and his Father God,
we thank you for always being there with us.

Speaker 4 (01:09:08):
God.

Speaker 3 (01:09:08):
We thank you for giving us the healing that is necessary.
Father God, we thank you for finding us in a
weary moments, Father God. For those who are anxious right now,
Father God, I speak of covering over their life, Father God.
For those who are emotionally distressed, Father God, for those
who feel like they are losing the battle. Father God,
are calling you Jehovah Nissi because you are a covering
Father God, you are a victory and we are victorious

(01:09:30):
so long as we are with you, Father God, I
ask you to cover those who are hurting right now,
Father God, remember that remind them, Father God, that you
are the healer above all healers. Father God, remind them
that they can be able to find you, Father God.
For those who are weeping right now, Father God, I
pray for a healing power, Father God, I pray for
a movement in their life right now, Father God, a

(01:09:51):
supernatural healing, Father God. Whatever is coming against them, Father God,
I cast it out right now, Father God, whatever the
enemy is doing right now, I ask that you and
camp your angels around the believers right now, Father God,
that you remind them that you are their shepherd, Father God,
and you have ordered their step. Father God. When they
feel lost, Father God, remind them that you are there.

(01:10:13):
Right now, Father God, we exalt your name, Father God,
because you are a God of your promises. Father God,
you are the God of Abraham. Father God, you are
the God of Isaac. Father God, you are the God
of Jacob. Father God, Father God, you are the God
who has helped us in all moments of need, Father God,
those who have been helped captive. Father God, you are
the God of refuse. You are the God who have

(01:10:35):
rescued and delivered. Right now, Father God, in this moment,
right now, Father God, there is someone in their marriage
right now who is struggling.

Speaker 4 (01:10:42):
They are ready to walk away.

Speaker 3 (01:10:44):
Father God, remind them that their marriage is to serve
those who are under Christ. Father God, that their marriages
us to glorify you, because you are worthy of praise.
You are worthy of being glorified right now, Father God,
and we ask that you stand with us in these
weeping gours.

Speaker 4 (01:11:00):
Father God, and.

Speaker 3 (01:11:00):
We thank you for the grace that covers us at night,
Father God, and the mercy that meets us in the morning.
Father God, you are the God of promises, You are
the God of healing. And we will forever praise and
worship you.

Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
Father God. We will forever exalt your name.

Speaker 3 (01:11:14):
In this moment right now, I raise your name, Hi,
for you are our banner right now, for anyone who
is in distress, for anyone who is struggling financial burdens.
Right now, Father God, remind them that they are conquerors
in the spirit. Father God, remind them to continue to
search for your heart. That there is authority in your name.
Father God. I thank you for our counsel. I thank

(01:11:35):
you for the advocacy. I thank you for the Holy Spirit.
I thank you for Jesus who died on Cavary. We
thank you for the stripes to heal. We thank you
for the blood that has replenished and the blood that
has cleansed and restored us. And we praise and we
magnify your name and a mighty master's name. We pray, Amen.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
Man, Amen, Amen.

Speaker 5 (01:11:54):
I like that.

Speaker 4 (01:11:56):
Yeah, I got a cool dawn. Oh boy, Oh I
need some water. Jesus, God is.

Speaker 1 (01:12:03):
Good, Yes he is. And that's what this is about.
I didn't know what I was going to talk to
you about. I just know I had a fellow believe
and I said, I'm gonna let God do what God do,
and I know how to submit and surrender to the
flow of the Holy Spirit. And this is what God
wanted people to hear. I know y'all heard a lot

(01:12:24):
of information in this episode, a lot of value. I
touch and agree with her that if you're going through
marital issues, that that thing is not bigger than our God,
that if you submit surrender that thing. I remember I
did a podcast and I did the podcast and I
was at Jamal Brian Church.

Speaker 2 (01:12:44):
I was at New Birth and we're doing the.

Speaker 1 (01:12:47):
Live podcast there and this couple came and they said
you're your podcast saved our marriage and I brought him
on the podcast and they talked about how they were
on the verge of divorce.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
They was like, this is done.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
And then somebody sent them an episode is the episode
I did with David Burst.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
They saw the episode.

Speaker 1 (01:13:06):
And they were like, the husband's like, all right, let
me get my act together. And God used that episode
to light the fire for them to start bringing reconciliation
to their marriage. And So what you're saying right now
is a couple that's watching this podcast, It's going to
be someone that is watching this podcast that their brothers,
sister is going through the same thing, their friend, their coworker.

(01:13:28):
They're gonna say, just watch this episode and they're gonna
hear the voice of God through the words that you spoke.

Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
And they're gonna say, I'm gonna hold on a little longer.
I'm gonna go in.

Speaker 1 (01:13:38):
My prayer closet, I'm gonna begin to pray. I'm gonna
take this annoy and oil and I'm gonna put it
on my wedding ring and I'm gonna go touch my
spouse and put.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
It on there on their wedding ring.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
And I'm gonna begin to pray, and then to see
that everything that the devil is trying to come against
my marriage, that God is going to break it in
the spirit ram until I see it in the natural realm.
They're gonna begin to pray, God open up doors old
man can shut, and shut doors that no man can open.
They're gonna pray that no weapon formed against their marriage
shall prosper, and every tongue that rises up against them
shall be condemned. They're gonna be able to intercede. They're

(01:14:09):
gonna get the language in order to war against the
spirit because what happens is is that it starts in
the spirit ram. And so often we take what happens
in the spirit realm unbeknownst to us, not knowing it's
taking place, and then we're warring against each other where
the Bible says we wrestle out against flesh and blood,
but against principalities and high places. And so now we
got to start seeing through our spiritual eyes where we're

(01:14:29):
able to see. Hold on, hold on, I see my
spouse acting like this or whatever. God, I know what
you told me when you when you told me to
marry that person. I know what vows we to. I
know how beautiful it was on our wedding day. I
know how we overcame this, and I know how we
overcame that. If you did it before, you'll do it again.
And so God, I know what the enemy is trying
to do right now. He's coming against my legacy, he's
coming against my familial structure, and we're going to come

(01:14:52):
against that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:52):
Spirit in the name of Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
And then you watch that restoration take place, so you'll
have a testimony, and so they're going to hear that
language from this episode, and you're gonna get testimonies with
people going to slide to your d MS and be like,
thank you, we needed to hear that. Thank you that
helped me single woman. Thank you that that gave me
a reference to be able to say, you know what,

(01:15:13):
I'm not going to idolize marriage. I'm going to stay
submitted to guy's will over my life and I'm not
going to be racing against the clock. Thank you for
giving me language to this. How can people keep up
with you?

Speaker 2 (01:15:25):
Follow you? What call to action can we do?

Speaker 4 (01:15:29):
They can follow me at Kitty J.

Speaker 3 (01:15:31):
Rose on every single platform k I T T I
E j R O s E on every single platform.

Speaker 2 (01:15:37):
Can they do you have any slots for coaching?

Speaker 4 (01:15:40):
You do that counseling and coaching, not right now.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:15:44):
My clients don't want to leave me.

Speaker 2 (01:15:47):
Right now.

Speaker 4 (01:15:48):
Thought we wrestle with that. They don't want to leave I.

Speaker 3 (01:15:51):
Love them though, I love every single one of them.
It's going to be real light. We may got some Septembers,
a few in September.

Speaker 1 (01:15:59):
Maybe well hopefully if you really need if you really
need it, go find out, go slide in the DM
and see if you can get in it so you
can get healed. I'm really big about healing and restoration,
and so hopefull you got some slots available. If not,
then start creating a cohort of people that you take
them through this whole group thing where you take about

(01:16:19):
twenty people through a four week or an eight week
intensive therapy thing or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:16:25):
So just just do something, and I.

Speaker 4 (01:16:27):
Want the people to join my Bible studies too.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
We have seen tremendous work and deliverance in the Bible Studies.
We've been able to help people in the community, and
we've been able to see people first time Bible study.
We've seen people who never purchased a physical Bible before
that's good, purchase their physical bibe.

Speaker 4 (01:16:47):
We've purchased Bibles for people.

Speaker 3 (01:16:48):
We've purchased numbers of Bibles for people and sent them
on Amazon to people because I'm like, hey, I need
you to have the physical word. I need you to
have the physical word because we're going to be studying.
Y'all not going to just listen to me. We're gonna study.

Speaker 2 (01:16:59):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (01:17:00):
We're gonna break down every word, Greek, Hebrew. We're gonna
go through every single thing. We're gonna dissect every single scripture,
parallel supporting scriptures.

Speaker 4 (01:17:09):
We go deep in ourselves this.

Speaker 3 (01:17:12):
I just started doing Bible study again a couple months ago,
maybe two three months.

Speaker 2 (01:17:17):
Maybe what made you do that?

Speaker 5 (01:17:19):
God?

Speaker 3 (01:17:21):
You think I woke up one day and said I
want to wake up on Saturday at six am in
the morning. Am every Saturday. And you'll be surprised. West Coast,
We'll be having people in Africa, London just and they
we start off with worship, We pray, we go on worship.
Sometimes the prayer goes long because when I'm when I'm
in war, prayer, it just it becomes something we've been
there for forty five minutes prayer. But we pray, we worship,

(01:17:43):
and then we get into the Word and then we
pray and we end it. It's not a regular Bible study,
but I love it because it's a lot of first time.
It's who return and they keep returning.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
Six am Central Standard times.

Speaker 4 (01:17:56):
Zoom and it's on zoom.

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
Spacifics down in the time. I'm seven Eastern time in Africa,
know what time it is.

Speaker 3 (01:18:03):
When they do, they have a time to early and
it's good for people to wake up with the start
off for God and it start off in the Word
because it sets the tone for the day. Yes, so yeah,
they should join join my Bible studies.

Speaker 4 (01:18:13):
Come on in.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
I'm gonna get on YouTube and start doing more of
that because people love when I talk about the world
of God. So I said, let me do so, y'all.
I'm sorry, I've been a little busy. I'm so sorry,
but you know I'm here now.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
Man, shout out to you King.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
I love what what people don't understand is that when
you see a woman operating this, it's because her arms
are being lifted up by a man behind the scenes.
When you see a man operate in his brilliance in
his glory as a woman behind them, especially if they're married,
you see them lifting them up and holding them up.
And so the Bible says that the man will get
his glory through his wife.

Speaker 2 (01:18:48):
And so if.

Speaker 1 (01:18:48):
Y'all love kitty, that's because you got somebody behind that
that is helping her shine like that.

Speaker 2 (01:18:55):
And so I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:18:57):
So you're not a man that has to be in
the forefront, but you are in the forefront because you've
been seen by your wife. I try to slick them too,
I said, you ain't suposted over these poste anything. He said,
you tried to trick me. I said, you'll see this
over there.

Speaker 4 (01:19:10):
But I do think I thank God for my husband.
I really do.

Speaker 3 (01:19:14):
I thank God for my husband, and I thank God
for the marriage that God has created for us. And
I really thank God for giving me one more chance.
I really do thank God for giv me one more
chance because I'm not playing about this chance yeah right now.

Speaker 4 (01:19:26):
So I thank God for that.

Speaker 3 (01:19:27):
And we were doing amazing things in our marriage, and
we're seeing our children just be brilliant, and it's because
of what we have. And we're also seeing our community,
our parents and bringing our family together, and it's just
been a really amazing experience.

Speaker 4 (01:19:41):
Have we been able to minister to the other people.

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
That's what I said. I said, God, you give me
one more chance at love. I'm gonna honor you on
levels that. Man, let me tell you something. I love
this for you, I said, Man, let me tell you something.
I'm happy.

Speaker 4 (01:19:51):
I love this.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
When I said, I am so happy because I've been praying,
I've been seeking, I've been healing. I've been laying on
my face crying before God. I've been speaking to my
heavenly language all these years, saying God, I understood what
the devil did. He ain't gonna win again. I said, oh,
he ain't gonna win again. And I said, I'm gonna
show you by the way I court this woman, how
I honor this woman, how I cover this woman. It's

(01:20:12):
a lot of things that you said in this episode
that's very similar to our journey. And so when she
comes on the Yellow Couch, we talk about it. We're like,
that's exactly what Kitty. She said. It's just she's gonna
love watching this because yeah, man, the guy who advised man,
it's awesome, say listen, thank y'all so much. Y'all give

(01:20:34):
it up for my girl, Kitty Rose.

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:20:37):
Listen, make sure you go follow her on social media,
sign up for a Bible study.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
So, without further ado, give it up for Kitty Rose.
Y'all stay tuned to the end for a letter to
my future wife.

Speaker 4 (01:20:52):
Write in these love letters.

Speaker 1 (01:20:59):
Ladarim thrust it suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen.

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
My nephew, black a boy.

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
The likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship.

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
Slim to none.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
Ourmione sixteen years old, black a boy with five years
in the false care system before I even knew his name.
The likelihood have ever been adopted?

Speaker 2 (01:21:24):
Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.

Speaker 1 (01:21:28):
While the Darien and Ourmiani were trying to survive and
barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system,
I was living my own life, doing well professionally, having
been a single father with a daughter who at that
point was doing well in college. It was my time
to live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

(01:21:50):
There are just two many of our black children stuck
in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falseter Care system.
In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian.

Speaker 2 (01:22:01):
Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

Speaker 1 (01:22:03):
I had no ties to this other young king, but
I felt God instructed me to adopt them also on
il Babe. Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right,
Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help
bring awareness to the countless young Black kings and the
foster care system should have decreased my agitation.

Speaker 2 (01:22:21):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:22:22):
Joining the board of directors of Advantage Adoption and organization
that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in Falter
care should have led to some type of resolve.

Speaker 2 (01:22:31):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
No, not at all. None of it felt like I
had done enough. I now realized that every one of
those experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.
Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of
the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

(01:22:53):
be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize
the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to
add for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and
limitless options that they thought were impossible. Though, the young
Kings will attend the local public schools that are in
proximity to King of Royale. Our at home curriculum will

(01:23:15):
broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending various
cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about
current events and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to
gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animals on
our form and on site stables. We just launched our

(01:23:36):
startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two point
eight million dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:23:39):
Now why two point eight million dollars? Well.

Speaker 1 (01:23:42):
In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which
I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.
One of the most notable successes was that one of
the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However,
one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise
a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

(01:24:02):
plan for the homeless community. So, throughout the years, with
much remorse, I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment.
I knew if at that time just ten percent of
the viewers donated one dollar, we would have raised at
least two point eight million dollars that could have really
established long term support for the homeless community, or at

(01:24:23):
least started a long term initiative to do so. This
is my do over, This is our new beginning. Together,
we can attack this at the route by specifically helping
our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in
the American fossil care system.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
I'm a Terra Sarwiodfield.

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work
with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.
Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly
providing the infrastructure for a transformed lifeanmoyal dot com for
more details, Crown of King and make a donation today.

Speaker 2 (01:25:12):
Man, did y'all enjoy the episode as much as I did?

Speaker 1 (01:25:15):
Man? When I say Kitty cooked, so we're gonna say
Kitty cooked because she showed it cooking this episode. Well,
here's my favorite part of the podcast where I speak
to my future wife and I know a lot of y'all.
When I say these letters now knowing that I'm getting engaged, y'all,
say these letters hit differently now, and I would agree
they really do. Dear future wife, here, from the moment

(01:25:38):
I slipped that ring on your finger, I vowed to
guard what God has entrusted to us as it were
the last flame in a cold world trying to snuff
it out. Our love will not be left unprotected in
the open fields where predators wrong. I will build walls
around it, not to shut the world out, but to
keep the sanctity in the sanctity of marriage isn't je

(01:26:00):
and the vows we recite, but in the way we
live them when no one is watching. It's in how
I choose you daily, even when my flesh wants to
choose self. It's how we protect our covenant from the
whispers of the enemy, the temptations of the culture, and
the erosion that comes from neglect. We will treat our
union like a sacred temple. No idol, no ambition, no offense,

(01:26:22):
will take residency where only God belongs. I will pray
over you when you're weary, cover you when you're exposed,
and speak life when the world speaks death. We'll show
the world that marriage is not outdated, its divine. And
when storms come because they will will stand together, back
to back, knowing the wind is no match for the

(01:26:44):
one who joined us, your future hobby. I hope you
enjoy this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember
be live, live, intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving.

Speaker 2 (01:26:58):
Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future That Your
Wife You YouTube channel.

Speaker 1 (01:27:01):
We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

Speaker 2 (01:27:05):
We welcome your support. Simply share our podcast with your
friends and family.

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