Redeemed by Love (Guests: Tommy & Sophia Ruffin-Wilson)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My argument was always I'm born this way until Jesus
hit me with a flex, we'll be born again. My
whole attitude was if this God didn't make me like this,
then let him change me. And I went to church
as a practical joke, and I play a lot. All
my practical jokes led to my breakthroughs.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
I got Hoby Wilson and Sophia Rough and Wilson are
on the Yellow Cops Welcome and Welcome.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
I was preaching, I was traveling.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
I wasn't really single and lonely like I was single
and cool because I was doing a lot of things.
I just kept geting these prophecies like your husband coming.
And one day I had some mentees prophesied to me
and say, the Lord said this the last season that
you're gonna be by yourself. Take a picture and it
was like three O the married couples.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Fast forward.

Speaker 4 (00:44):
I was at the next meeting and I had a
date set up and everything after what she preached, I
laid it all out, went to a five star restaurant
and had the menus printed out. I had her initials,
the date and everything. The next day we talked and
I said, I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Said that after two weeks prior to him saying he
was in love with me, I had dreamed that I
met this man. We fell in love so fast that
it was like we were best friends. That in the
dream the guy said to me, I'm in love with you,
and I said, we might as well go together. And
I think God had to show me previously because out, yeah,

(01:23):
that's too fast.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
So people dont understand the power in what you're saying.
Right now, where's your testimony?

Speaker 1 (01:28):
I just aggressively lived my life as a homosexual female
that was masculine presenting.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
I can go all the way back to third grade.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Really, I can recall having a crush on a teacher,
and this teacher spent a lot of time affirming.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Me, so feel you, so pretty, you such a good girl.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
The rejection, the abandonment, the trauma, and because the enemy don't.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Play fair is what I always say.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
It unlocked a perversion in the affirmation that I was
receiving from a woman.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Tommy, how did you accept her testimony? The Dear Future
WiFi podcast has global impact from Texas.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,
and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

Speaker 5 (02:15):
God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,
founding authentic spirituality.

Speaker 6 (02:23):
California.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
I learned so much as a single man through your podcast,
and continue to learn so much as now a married
man Nigeria.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
This is just therapy for me. You know, I've been healed,
I've been strengthen in my convictions on the sta to
do single.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Hoopta Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is
possible for.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
A man to be as intentional as.

Speaker 7 (02:48):
You are New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
I appreciate your vulnerability.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
I appreciate just being able to see that there is
life after divorce.

Speaker 6 (02:55):
To New York.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
I am a single woman, so these episodes really give
me home encourage that God.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Does have a husband for me discover, uncover and recover love.
I'm Laterra Saar Whitfield and this is season ten of
the Dear Future Wifie Podcast. Welcome to a Dear Future
Wifie podcast. I'm your host, Laterra Sar Whifield. Listen, are
you still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking
up with us, can we get a commitment? Hit that
subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you're showing your notification bells.

(03:24):
You'll be notified about upcoming episodes. While yeah it can
you go on and click that linking description and sign
up for our mother list, and go ahead and join
us on Patreon, where I'll be sharing behind the scene
footage of the journey as I prepare to walk down
the aisle. It's going to be an amazing, amazing journey.
Make sure you tune in to that. On November twenty second,

(03:45):
it will be live stream for all of y'all who
have been rocking with.

Speaker 6 (03:48):
Me on this journey.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
You know, since the inception of this podcast, I've been
wanting to have this conversation. I've been waiting for the
right guests to have this conversation with Welcome to a
Differ to Wifey podcast. My homie, Tommy Wilson and Sophia
Ruff and Wilson are on the yellow couch. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome,
how y'all doing it?

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Thank you me?

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Slide to microphone up. I want to close close to
as possible. That's great, so listen. Now, let me tell
the people how this interview came to pass.

Speaker 6 (04:20):
I was on the phone with.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
My old youth pastor, Joy Hill, and we were chopping
up and talking, and she said, you know what, you
know what you should have on the podcast?

Speaker 6 (04:31):
I said who?

Speaker 2 (04:32):
She said, Sophia Ruffing Wilson And I said okay, and
I was talking.

Speaker 6 (04:39):
I said, send me a link. She sent me a link.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
While she was sending me a link, I get a
DM on What's app from Arlen from the Bahamas and said.

Speaker 6 (04:48):
You know what you have on your podcast? I just
got fished interviewing her.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
I said, hold on, I'm on the phone right now,
and you're you're what's apping me right now? I said, whoever,
this woman is clearly God wants her to be on
this yellow couch, so make it happen. So I know
that you're going to do something, say something, release something
in this episode that it was by God's design and
orchestrated by him for you to be here for such

(05:11):
a time as this.

Speaker 6 (05:12):
Isn't that real churchy?

Speaker 7 (05:13):
For such that is that is to preach.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Very churchy, and that's very good, and that's very.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
God for such a time as it's indeed.

Speaker 6 (05:22):
So let me ask y'all how long y'all been married?

Speaker 7 (05:25):
Almost three years?

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Almost three years? And how did y'all meet? Well, how
long did y'all know each other before y'all got married.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, we knew. I knew of him in twenty seventeen.
I inquired about him when I went to a church
to preach. He was just so nice servant and I
saw this handsome man. I just like, oh wow, who
is that? And she was like, oh, he married, and
that was it. I had never seen him again.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Two years later, that was twenty seventeen, and then y'all
read y'all met again in twenty twenty two.

Speaker 7 (06:00):
Yeah, yeah, twenty two?

Speaker 6 (06:03):
Which one is is a describe.

Speaker 7 (06:04):
Twenty two twenty two.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I want to make sure this line up because your
divorce might be on Wednesday, and it'd be got to
make sure he receives. People be like, uh they mad
in twenty twenty two. I looked at divorce was final
in March or twenty twenty two? You right, I know
how people are to get a real message. Uh. So
the reality was you said, Hey, I saw him, he's married,
off limits And what happened in that journey?

Speaker 6 (06:31):
What was your life like from twenty seventeen to twenty
twenty two.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
Well, I lived in Chicago, Uh, and I was going
to preach at his church that he was serving.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
That and that was twenty seventeen.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
I saw him or whatever, and then uh, you know,
I went back and forth to the church to minister
and have you know, just was a relationship with the
church there, and I never saw him again, Like I
just never saw him. And then in twenty one I
went through like a very challenging season where I lost

(07:05):
my grandmother and my mom back to bag and so
that was just like a very hard season for me.
And that was just I was preaching, I was traveling,
I was, you know, just kind of like just living
my life. I wasn't really single and lonely, like I
was single and cool because I was doing a lot
of things.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
And it just kept getting me.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I just kept getting these prophecies like your husband coming,
woman to guy, you're about to get married. Les get
so irritated because I'm like, not every time it's a
woman that's single.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Everybody on a prophesy, you know, that a husband coming.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
I used to honestly, I used to kind of reject
those prophecies because I kind of felt like where he at,
you know, it's impossible, and kind of probably had a
little doubt that God could do that. For me, if
I'm being honest. And one day in late like early
twenty two, I had some mentees prophesied me and said, coach, listen,

(08:03):
the Lord said, this is the last season that you're
going to be by yourself. Take a picture. And it
was like three three of the married couples take a picture.
I got in the picture. I took a picture with them,
and they said, this is the last time you've been
the picture by yourself.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
And fast forward like I.

Speaker 7 (08:18):
Was at the next meeting, he was.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
At the next meeting.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
And so what was going on in your life at
the time? When when's the divorce final? Twenty one, twenty one?
And so after meeting her, did she ever come across
your mind or did you even know that she inquired
about you?

Speaker 4 (08:36):
Back then, I didn't had no idea. It was just
walking past and that was it and kept it moving.
You know, I'm serving, I'm doing I supposed to do.
But in twenty one, when I went through my divorce,
you know, it was tough for a guy to start
over at the age of forty six, and you try
to get back on a dating feel and it's like,
why in the world would you ever do that?

Speaker 7 (08:57):
You know why.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
I mean literally, I mean mentally you got to let
go and physically and all that good stuff. But I
had to seek therapy first to get my mind right
good because it was it was messed up.

Speaker 6 (09:08):
Explain to people.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
See a lot of women feel like you a single man,
you having fun, it's a field day out there. Why
was it challenging for you in these Dayton streets?

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Because I know what type of person I am. I
just I didn't want just anything. I knew I've been
married for twenty and a half years, so I'm not
just out there just to be doing anything.

Speaker 7 (09:32):
And I'm just not that type of person.

Speaker 4 (09:34):
I was raised, right, I know what I'm what I am,
I know who I am, I know who's God made
me to be. And it was just tough and it's
just like, man, nah, I can't do this. So I
just asked God. I said I want to be married again,
and I inquired and it was the rest of history.
I mean, it happened fast, and I felt hard, real

(09:56):
real quick.

Speaker 6 (09:57):
So you said happened fast. Give reference.

Speaker 7 (10:00):
So like we talk on the phone about in June.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
In June, so we had we talked on in the
phone in June then she came preach like two weeks later,
and I had a date set up and everything after
what she preached, I did it. I laid it all out,
went to a five star restaurant and had the menus
printed out. I had her initials, the date and everything.
Had some rose petals in a bag I knew she

(10:27):
like once. I had a little canvas with some ones
on it, a little picture.

Speaker 6 (10:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
I had all that set up, and the next day
we talked. She went back because she had to preach,
and I said I got something to tell you, And
I was like, I don't know what.

Speaker 7 (10:41):
I don't know. I want you to think I'm just
so you know, you know, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (10:47):
Yeah, thirsty little part. He was a little party, was
in love.

Speaker 7 (10:54):
Yeah, but I said, I love you.

Speaker 6 (10:56):
You said that after two weeks.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah, But here's the thing, ain't can I tell you that?
The thing?

Speaker 1 (11:01):
So, so when he inquired about me and we talked
on the phone, mind you, I had already knew like
of him that he was married before and he had
three young adult kids. So honestly, at that point when
I was thinking about it, I'm like, nah, like I
don't want nobody even that's been married and all this,
but then I'm also thinking I'm older in age.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Okay, let me just give it a shot.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
And so with talking to him, I did tell him
I was like, he was married twenty one and a
half years, that's almost all your life.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Go store your were you old? Like to be outside.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Because you know, because I'm like, you've been, you know,
married so long. And we just kept on talking, but
we were like really connecting.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
And then when he ended up.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
But prior to him saying he was in love with me,
I had dreamed and I dreamed a few months ago
that I share with two people, I'm like, man, I just.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Had a prophetic dream that I met this man.

Speaker 6 (12:03):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
And I tried not to do those dreams because they
get spooky. And I said, we fell in love so
fast that it was like we were best friends.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
In the dream. The guy said to me, I'm in
love with you, and I said, we might as well
go together.

Speaker 7 (12:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
And literally, when I tell you when he said that
in two weeks, when he said that, it just rolled
off my tongue.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
I was like, we might as well go together.

Speaker 6 (12:33):
You said that to him.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
In real life, and I said, it was like prophecy
from when I dreamed, and I think God had to
show me previously because.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, that's too fast.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
And we was we was going together and like we
were just going together.

Speaker 6 (12:53):
He said, we go together real bad?

Speaker 3 (12:54):
Ye together?

Speaker 2 (12:57):
So as it is, so people got understand the power
and what you're saying right now.

Speaker 6 (13:01):
What is your your background? Where's your testimony?

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Well, I come out of the lifestyle of gender dysphoria,
which I felt like like extreme masculinity and identity issues
homosexuality just out. When I say outside, like outside outside,
I wasn't really. I was brought up in missionary Baptist church,

(13:25):
but like not really having a relationship with God like that.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
I played college basketball, an athlete.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
And just just hard, just just strong, you know, independent,
dominant type female. And and I lived that life, I
mean from like.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Grade school really yeah, little just yeah, So you.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Tell me you were living which life you're.

Speaker 3 (13:54):
Talking about homosexuality?

Speaker 6 (13:55):
Not in grade school?

Speaker 3 (13:57):
Listen, grade school? You know, you know, grade school.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
I knew like I was having these attractions, in these interactions.
I could go all the way back to third grade
really and that's yeah. In third grade, I can recall
having a crush on a teacher and knowing watch this
that I don't know if it's right or this wrong.
But that teacher, when I look at it now, that

(14:25):
teacher was literally just affirming me because I was a bag,
a trouble kid, father in and out, you know, poverty,
looking like a bomb, pretty much hairbuck wow, not put
together and hard working mom, worked hard, single, hardworking mom.

(14:47):
And this teacher spent a lot of time affirming me. Sofiel,
you so pretty, you such a good girl. Get over here,
let me fix your hair, Let me you stay inside,
and let me make sure you.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
To keep me good.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
And because us, the enemy don't play fair, is what
I always say. Those perversions and the rejection, the abandonment,
the trauma that I had, it unlocked the perversion in
the affirmation that I was receiving from a woman.

Speaker 6 (15:16):
Why can you see that as mothering?

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Why can you see that as extension of what did
your mom do the same thing?

Speaker 6 (15:21):
Did she affirm you back then?

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (15:24):
My mom she did, she affirmed, she loved. But I
always say this, the enemy don't play fair. I'm gonna
fail abortion too. Okay, So when you look at the
spirit of homosexuality, a lot of times you're not just
dealing with the perversion side of it. You're actually dealing
with rejection, abandonment, trauma.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
The rejection was already sown in the womb, you know.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
So I came out my mother's belly already rejected.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
And so the.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
Enemy don't say, oh, I'm gonna just wait until she
turned seventeen or eighteen. See, he starts to pervert and
rewire your thoughts as a child. And I also dealt
with already being bullied about adults in the family calling
me that's a little man.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, So you've always been more on the tomboys side,
as they were saying, right, and so they would speak
that you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
Third, I had a faithful cousin that did it relentlessly.

Speaker 7 (16:27):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
So would you always like the girl that would play
with the boys, be out there playing the football with him, and.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
I'm gonna play football, basketball and I'm gonna fight you, you
know so yeah you So that's why I also say
you have to be careful, you know what is speaking
over a child because those very words that were spoken
at that time. Of course, you don't know that this homosexuality,

(16:56):
this being you know gay, No, you you just trying
to understand what you're feeling, what you're thinking, And like
I said, because the enemy don't play fair. He just
took advantage of those moments and kept creating opportunities that
caused me to spiral down into the lifestyle. And then
with basketball, you know, gifted, extremely talented, so always playing

(17:21):
on the basketball team with older girls because of my ability,
which also exposed me more to the language and to
the dark side of that lifestyle.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
So we hear that a lot in women's basketball. So
you're saying that's truth.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Now, I would say it's a different culture. You know,
you got more effemininity in basketball, in sports, which is amazing,
and you have the visibility of the basketball community promoting
more feminine women. But back then it was really more
dominant masculine.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
You know, it was a stick but that was also
attached to that. So and so from that.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Third grade crush on your teacher, did how did you
reconcile that in your mind? Was it just that all
my teacher is pretty or I want my teacher to kiss.

Speaker 6 (18:14):
Me, Like.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
No, no, no, it was more so I can remember
feeling that. You know, I think every person get this
old feeling like you just feel it. I don't have
so much knowledge into that back then, but when I
had to recall, I can recall that moment, and so
I'm just even that my story around that I didn't

(18:40):
even entertain the sexual part of homosexuality until I started
to really get into like high school.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
So it was more mental.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
It was more changing me inwardly, giving me this the
stigma of it. Before ever manifested into like the activity,
I had already started to lose the identity. So my situation,
I tell people in this for all of y'all, everybody's
story and journey is different, but mine was I lost

(19:14):
my identity before I even started entertaining anything sexually.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
I lost my identity. Can you help me understand? What
do you mean by that? You lost your identity.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Because I was born a woman and.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
God had a specific call and a purpose for me.

Speaker 6 (19:32):
You know, I'm talking.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
Before you started experimenting with women. Where you start Now
you're dressing like a boy, well.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
Dressing like a boy, you know.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
But at that time I lived at home with my mom,
So I can only go so far as.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
You know, that's.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
My mom, and she was more so like.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
She she really she kind of knew, but she did
it because I used this ex hues fleet I played basketball.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
I'm don't judge me. Everybody judging me.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
So I already was defensive and already fighting against it.
But I was casually just more tomboy. But when I
went off to college, that was a whole another city
that that. When I went off to college my freshman year,
it was cut my hair in the fade, it was
get the tattoos.

Speaker 3 (20:24):
Everything I thought that would make me more.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Masculine, it was, you know, just it was just saggy clothes,
baggy back then.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
It wasn't you know, it was just a different type
of fashion.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
It was just hard and I just, uh, slowly, the
drinking the smoking came with that, and in that process
it was like, now I'm becoming more knowledgeable of the
lifestyle of me in then I started at that point
feeling like, oh, I was born gay, I was born

(20:56):
this way, and this is my life and nobody can
say to me about it. And I just aggressively lived
my life as a homosexual female that was masculine presenting.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
And then you know, people was talking to me about.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
You know you need God, you know you need God,
and I'm like, what was this God?

Speaker 6 (21:21):
Were you raising church?

Speaker 3 (21:23):
Missionary Baptist?

Speaker 1 (21:24):
You know you just go you know you see everybody,
they're smoking cigarettes. They the deacons committed adultree you know,
So why I'm seeing all listen you why got to
be the one going to hell?

Speaker 3 (21:35):
If God?

Speaker 1 (21:36):
And my whole attitude was if this God didn't make
me like this, then let him change me. You couldn't
tell me back then I would be who I am completely,
not just a married woman. And so many people think
because you being married means nothing like my conversion and
the truth of what God did for me was the

(21:58):
day I knew when I gave my life to Jesus
and he started the process of.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Giving me a new one.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Because my argument was always this, I'm born this way
until Jesus hit me with a flex We'll be born again.

Speaker 6 (22:15):
Jus, I gotta let this. I got to sell them.
He said, what.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Be born again?

Speaker 1 (22:27):
And I'm gonna tell you, I've never really heard the
voice of God because.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Prophet is always you know, they be weird. Be born again.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
I had to hear God for myself, and I'm I'm like, how, how,
how this is gonna happen? And I went to church
as a practical joke, and I play a lot. My
practical jokes led to my breakthroughs. Every prank, every prank
I got invited because I would get invited to church

(22:56):
because I was always people's project, like everybody wanted to
because you know, like if I could just help change her.
God had such a unique way the way he did it.
And I went to church and I heard the gospel
preach I would say so profoundly, and experienced the prophetic all.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
In one encounter.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
And the pastor he was preaching, and he was talking
about God can forgive you for your sins, and he
preached about the blood of Jesus, and I mean that
man told that service of apostle to him.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
He just ran all through that church with it.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
And a song came on Martha MUNIZI come let your
burdens down, the burdens you have carried, They singing that.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
He Yeah, God was really loud.

Speaker 6 (23:46):
Range right there.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
I came and yeah, it was altar call. I went
to the altar and I said, Lord, whatever you do,
just don't embarrass me. Whatever you do, please, like I'll
fall for a maskuline.

Speaker 6 (24:03):
You don't want to fall out, No, I.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
Didn't want to fall out at all, like, no, I'm
too cool. And I'm laughing at them speaking in tongues.
I'm like, what are these people doing?

Speaker 3 (24:10):
And shouting?

Speaker 1 (24:11):
And the more I'm walking down, the more they just
speaking in them tongues. And I get down there in
the apostle, he moves the microphone and he prophesied to
me my entire life of childhood, upbringing. I'm not even
from that town. So it's Mount Vernon, Illinois, you know,
which is like three and a half hours from Chicago.

(24:32):
He prophesied to me, prophesied who I would become even
now in the days that I'm in now he spoke it.

Speaker 6 (24:39):
He says, you're gonna be preaching God's world.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
You're gonna be preaching God's gonna make you. You're gonna
be like a butterfly and all this, and I'm like,
you're gonna be married. I don't know if he gave
me that part.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
I ain't gonna lie. I don't think. I don't think
I ain't get that one.

Speaker 6 (24:57):
But so when you're hearing him saying, what are you thinking,
I'm just.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Really I think before I got to him talking about
the future version of me, I was so overwhelmed. This
is like real talk, like with the guy who was
revealing my secrets to a man.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
Like I went on this pursuit.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
I didn't even realize like that was a prophetic gilt
or prophecy. I just was in us saying, God, who
are you to reveal all of my secrets to this man?

Speaker 3 (25:27):
And how can I find you?

Speaker 1 (25:28):
And that actually led me on my personal journey of
searching for God. And in that He just kind of
just walked me through my deliverance. I got discipled, I
got you know, I went through a process like from
two thousand and three to two thousand and eight, I
still was masculine presenting, but God transformed me inside out.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
So it was actually like miraculous.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
So you're talking about from what period of time you
go down to the altar? When did you stop quote
unquote being masculine presenting?

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Two thousand and eight?

Speaker 6 (26:01):
So how I mean, how long is that?

Speaker 3 (26:02):
Like a five year period?

Speaker 2 (26:03):
So five years? So you're still in church, you saved, sanctified,
uh shouting I'm a Christian, but then you were still
masculine presenting, and then what would you hear from the.

Speaker 6 (26:17):
People in church?

Speaker 3 (26:19):
You still gay. Ain't none changed?

Speaker 6 (26:21):
You still gay?

Speaker 3 (26:22):
That girl gay? Yeah, you still look like a dude.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
Put on the skirt, put on makeup, put on this,
and I'm like, I ain't putting on.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
None of that.

Speaker 6 (26:32):
Why do you want to put it on?

Speaker 1 (26:33):
Because I didn't. I felt like I'm saved because the Bible. Listen,
all I do is I'm born again. I gave my
life to Jesus.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
I can't. I didn't want to force it.

Speaker 6 (26:43):
You don't want to be fake?

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah I wasn't.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
How do I live out the closet that loan to
get saved? And y'all try to put me in the closet.
Then you try to make me be fake. I'm like,
oh hecky, no, Like I only no freedom.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
So you would go to Churchill So as you you
still dating.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Women from two thousand and three to that, I really
wasn't dating a bunch of women like.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
One still stay gay? You know what?

Speaker 1 (27:14):
But I did have to walk through the process. But
then in two thousand here's what happened. I didn't realize
how much at that point my sexuality was connected to
my identity. Now I had no idea. Now if I'm
still presenting it looking like a dude, I'm sending off
to people they don't know. So it was still luring

(27:35):
this attraction and the women was confused, right, and so
I'm like, man, it's hard.

Speaker 6 (27:42):
So what would you say to them? I ain't gat
no more.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Listen, I'm in church. I'm like this, No, I'm in church.
Like I'm trying to live my life like I'm in church.
But I was still in that process, like going to
the club. I was letting my apostle know this.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
My whole story is like this girl has been transparent.
I'm on my way to the club. I be got
to mar with my little five dollar tide and offer it.
But I'm at the club.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
But in two thousand and eight, though, seriously, when I
when God another practical joke, I'm like, let me do
this girl thing one time for my mom because she
hadn't seen me in a state of any femininity for years.
I'm in Malvern, I'm like, I'm gonna go to Chicago.
I'm a surpriser for Mother's Day. At that time. For

(28:30):
those five years span I did grow my hair out,
my hair like corn rows. I was like, I'm gonna
go to the shop. I'm gonna let the girl flat
out of my hair. I'ma I didn't know what broadsize.
I didn't know what I said. Listen, I need help
finding something to wear. At that time, Capriz was popular
cute little brocafrieze. When it got this outfit from Mauris

(28:52):
put it in a duffel bag with the rest of
my masculine clothes right my boxes and this and that.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
Bab I love that you're just gonna do this story.
He's a chappier.

Speaker 6 (29:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
I literally take my backpack. I go to surprise my mom.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
I stay at her friend's house and I get dressed,
and you know, I'm in the room. I'm just putting
it and I'm saying to myself, I'm only doing this
one time, like I'm not. I don't have to change
how I look. This is me arguing with them myself.
And so even when the girl flotting out of my hair,
she shut her shop down. Shout out to Breshanta. She

(29:29):
shut us shop down, closed the windows because I'm like,
I don't want nobody seeing me looking embarrassed of what
I could possibly look like because I didn't know this.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
Are you hearing me?

Speaker 1 (29:41):
I look like a dude, so long and you about
to try to help me look like a girl.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
I was scared, like what am I gonna look like?

Speaker 6 (29:48):
Real?

Speaker 3 (29:48):
And so she was like, just trust me.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
So she did my hair, turn me away from the mirror,
wrap my hair up, put a.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
Do rag on, and I get to Chicago.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
I'm in the room, I'm doing my hair, putting my
clothes on, and it just felt different, like I don't know,
it was just like it felt right, and I'm.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Trying to figure it out.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
And I'm like and so my friend on the phone,
she's like, how you look, Sofia, how you look?

Speaker 3 (30:17):
I said, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
I was like, I'm only doing this one time. I'm
just not about to be an everyday thing. This is
one scenario. The lady downstairs saying, Sophia, you ready. I
walk out the door. She has a huge, beautiful mirror
in the hallway. As I'm walking out the door, I'm looking,
I see myself in the mirror. I hit the flow,

(30:39):
I fall out to myself.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
You need.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
You know that's powerful. I couldn't believe what I saw.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
I looked at me, looked at you.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
You know what, she looks good, But you know what
that is hilarious. I was no, seriously I felt. I
was like, oh my god, I was this me. I was,
and I'm weeping and I hear the voice of the
Lord say, well done. My good and faithful service is
look at my daughter Sophia, and hom on will please.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
I was affirmed by God right privately.

Speaker 6 (31:22):
The people always still call you Sophia even when you.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
Were so you're trying. Nobody knows my street name. Come on,
I was.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Just asking because it, I mean, it's kind of awkward
to look at it like a hard little thud talking
about Sophia, like you don't get no street cred like that.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
You really don't. But I was no matter how hard I.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Was, people can always say you're so sweet, like you're
shut up, I'm smoking a blood.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
I'm trying to be hard.

Speaker 6 (31:48):
He's so sweet.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
My voice always been. So I wasn't trying to change
my voice and stuff like you know, so I was.

Speaker 6 (31:58):
My street name.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
You're not getting in the end, and that not getting
the street name. I've never leaved it, like I don't know.
I might later, but.

Speaker 6 (32:05):
There's some charges on that name.

Speaker 3 (32:08):
Jesus following him right.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
So, so when you saw yourself what did and you
heard God speak to you, Sophia, I am will please.

Speaker 6 (32:18):
When you looked at that, then what happened?

Speaker 3 (32:20):
I weeped. I just weeped.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
I felt I was just overwhelmed, like I just couldn't believe.
That's why, no matter what, I don't care what nobody
ever say about me, because my own testimony is my truth.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
This ain't for this, ain't for church. I didn't grow
up for this the church.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
And so when I get in the car, come down
the stairs, the lady, she like, yo, mama gonna just
be so woo woo. Even though my mom loved her
baby girl, period, let's put that there.

Speaker 6 (32:47):
She except what she always did. She always accept you for.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Yes, she did, because she kept saying the fruit of
her woman was blessed, she said.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
She kept saying, you're a prophet. You you called you
are damned.

Speaker 6 (32:58):
She always saw you in your future sense.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
Yeah, And I'm like, I ain't gonna tell you. I'm like,
stop believing that. I don't want to. I really don't.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Want none of that. Like I'm sorry. And I go
on to church, and my nieces and nephews, I go
sit with them, my mom in the choir staying and
my nephew on the drums.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
He looking and he pulled like that's on tea, Like
everybody just it's.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
A big deal because it's like wow, So my mom
she's asking who is that lady with my with my
grandkids because.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
It was such a chaotic scene. The lady said, that's
your daughter.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
My mom weeps, she weeps, she the pastor stop the service.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
I go to get my mom a hug, and like, yo,
like it just.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
You can't even yeah, you can't explain, Like I can't
explain what that moment did for her, but most of all,
what it did for me, Like I don't know, like
it was just an embrace that just felt like whatever
I never got, I got on the one and her
love like validating me on a level that I didn't

(34:05):
know I needed. And she she just kept saying, look
at my baby. She was just in awe because imagine
like when when people do choose to live certain lifestyles
and they transform, that parent kind of.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Lose to grieve the loss of that daughter so to speak,
or that sonnig I never saw all the memories that
they had saying, oh, I can't wait for my daughter
to go to prime. I'm gonna get a prime dress.
I'm gonna get this, and then daughter shows up in
succeed them. Yeah, it's like and then the whispers at
the church like oh, so and so and so fiel there.

Speaker 6 (34:43):
I mean, you know, God is working. We just praying
for her deliverance.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
So now you gotta now your Their speech has to
change in order to say I still love my daughter,
I still love my son, but I recognize that the
lifestyle that they're living is adverse to what God has
called in their life. But I'm in juxtaposition between covering
my child and also not conforming to what this lifestyle is.

Speaker 7 (35:06):
It's a it's an interesting conundrum.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Yeah, and that's how it was.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
And uh, when we got home after service, I went
to go open my Duffel bag to put back on
my other clothes. I could not fit that stuff. It
was it was like I couldn't put it on. It
was like supernaturally, that was it. That was whatever I
was outwardly, that chapter had came to a supernatural close.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
It was over.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
I had never went back to forms of masculinity. And
you know, in my process from eight to even all
the way now, like I was always mindful of like
because you have to learn people don't understand, like you
have to learn new mannerisms, like you have to learn femininity.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
You got to learn how to us and how to love,
how to be.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Loved like like before it ever was. So it wasn't
like getting married to cover up or get married.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
No.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
I literally went through years of like being processed and
prepared to be a wife and to be who I
am today, like gentle, calm but still strong and you know,
secure but also know how to submit it, come under
and be led.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
And it's just only God could do that.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
And the reason why my process I think was inside
out first was so that I can know that I
can trust God every season.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
So even in your elementary, middle school, high school, did
you ever have crushes on boys that you ever have
a boyfriend at all?

Speaker 1 (36:46):
Yeah, I had a boyfriend and I had I liked
all of like some of the cute boys. They never
liked me. They was just and this the thing, They're like,
you are friend, come play basketball with us? Like I
was the cool, Like I was every I was cool
with every dude.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
I'm homie. We dabbing and we cool.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
And even in seventh grade and then high school, I
had a boyfriend and when I started getting kind of masculine,
he like, what's wrong? Like what's going on? He questioned it?
You know, yeah, what happened to your bank?

Speaker 6 (37:19):
I want a boyfriend. I want a girlfriend. We switching before.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
About very eyes, Yeah he did.

Speaker 6 (37:24):
He has a question with my homeboys, that's you.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
But we stayed locked the end, and then I think
that at that point when I I think, the more
I lost me because I never I was never didn't
think men was attractive.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
That's the thing that's interesting.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
That's why I wanted to go back to your attraction
to the to males.

Speaker 6 (37:46):
It has always been there.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, like he looked good. I knew how to acknowledge,
like I was like, he fine. But the more I
lost me, though, the more I couldn't see a man though,
I couldn't see him no more like he looked good,
because it.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Didn't to me.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
It just didn't feel right, see how, it's just dysfunctional
in my mind. So the harder I became, the more
my eyes was closed to be able to see the
the you know, the depth of a man.

Speaker 3 (38:15):
But then when my eyes was open, it was like
you see again, whoa Okay, all right.

Speaker 6 (38:23):
That's crazy, ain't it.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
We don't talk about the spiritual ramifications that the Bible
says in the last days, good would be called evil
and evil be called good.

Speaker 6 (38:32):
Physically, she said, physically, I couldn't even look.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
I started out looking at men and saying, oh, yeah,
they are tractor looked nice.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
And then the more she started losing herself, she started
coming into agreement to this spirit that's teaching her that, no,
you ain't even supposed to even like that. No more
so she's like, all right, well, I guess I'm supposed
to like this. And then as she's liking that, and
that became to be that's normalized even her appearance.

Speaker 6 (38:57):
The way she thought was like, hey, this, this is this,
this is me.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
She's taken on, uh, this spirit of masculinity. And then
when God began to start healing her from the inside out,
he started healing the way that she thought, the way
that she sees and now, oh men are attractive now
like that is that. I just never heard anybody break
it down like that, because most of the time they
will always say I just never been attracted to guys.

Speaker 6 (39:22):
Yeah, God made me like this.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
I've always been attracted to women, even back when I
was in the third grade. My teacher from that moment,
I've always been attracted to women, and.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
I've never been attracted not my story. And that's why
they come for me and say, well, you was never gay.
I'm like, you know what, I'm tired of y'all.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
Y'all buddy, get me. You wasn't gay. You was just
you know, just yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
This one dude said, this is so funny telling about
That's why the commie said she just understood it herself.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
It's no, I got delivered.

Speaker 6 (39:51):
Brother, unstudied.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
I don't it don't even bother me because it's like, man,
you know a person.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
That's what I respect.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
Everybody's journey, everybody's process, everybody's walk with God.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
I didn't think to read.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
Your comments about what people say. So people think that
you wasn't gay enough.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
Just a couple of them. Yeah, I'm like, how what what? What?
What you want me to do?

Speaker 7 (40:18):
Got and that said thing as a gay leader.

Speaker 6 (40:23):
You wasn't get If you're really gay, you wouldn't be
looking like this right now.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
It's like, you know what, forget y'all, and so let's.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
Talk to you Tommy thank you for your patience because
I stull want to unpack this journey. So I know
what your journey was. So what's your backstory.

Speaker 4 (40:42):
I've been in church all my life, good parents, raised, raised,
good middle class, went to a private school, never went
to a public school.

Speaker 7 (40:55):
She she always give him his badge.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
It's just she always gives me that that private school. Yeah,
I'm that private school dude. And I just I thank
God because that's who.

Speaker 6 (41:07):
I just.

Speaker 7 (41:08):
I'm very honored and privileged, you know, to have gone
to a school like that.

Speaker 6 (41:13):
What you grow up in.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
He was in Texas, but he was always always in Houston, Okay,
and you growing up in the in the town area.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
I'm from the hood Chicago.

Speaker 6 (41:22):
Yeah, and then you.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
All right, so this is interesting how God brought these
two worlds together. All right, And so here you go,
p K. You grew up in the hood.

Speaker 4 (41:30):
Uh, continue, Yeah, it was just you know, I played
sports basketball. You know, I was a good kid. You know,
I didn't mean I wasn't bad. I mean because my dad, Yeah,
my dad was in the army, right. Yeah, but we
haven't played each other the journey. Yeah, we haven't played
each other. She played my.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Son and don't put yeah, ready for you?

Speaker 7 (41:56):
Ready for telling me? She want the daddy? I told her?
Where do you think they got it from?

Speaker 2 (42:03):
He said, you ain't ready for him? You heard that's Sophia.
So you ain't ready for him?

Speaker 3 (42:07):
Yeah, I'm allow him.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
I love him, shine, Let him shine.

Speaker 6 (42:14):
So you played basketball in high school, yes, sir?

Speaker 2 (42:17):
And then private school and then what you had a
really good upbringing?

Speaker 6 (42:22):
What did your parents instilled in you?

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Wait till marriage to have sex with They instilled it
within you marriage, marriage, marriage? And uh you got married
at what age three? Where your virguin when you got married?

Speaker 6 (42:34):
Yes, sir.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
So you waited to you waited for marriage, Sophia, the
first time you know that it is.

Speaker 7 (42:45):
Jesus him.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
That's cute, man.

Speaker 6 (42:50):
Proud, that's good. Let me tell you something I am.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
I interview two three people today and the other guy,
Jimmy Rawlins, was a virtue when he got married.

Speaker 7 (43:01):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
And so I love this because that's very rare, and
that Sophia said, oh that's cute, that's powerful, that's actually powerful,
and that you had a family that instilled that in you,
because like I shared with them, With most men, we
shared the opposite it's saying, hey, listen, go smash as
many women as possible. And you were taught right to say,

(43:24):
honor your body, that your parents valued marriage and said
get married and save yourself a marriage. I never had
that conversation my mom and dad, and so I honored that.

Speaker 6 (43:34):
And so you got married.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
And was it one of those marriages where it was
it's better to married than to burn with less type
of things in the church. How to meet your ex wife?

Speaker 7 (43:46):
I met through school through a friend.

Speaker 4 (43:48):
Actually, her friend likeded me, but I didn't want to
get to the friend because she was promiscuous and I
would try and do the thing, and she said, you'd
be greatful my friend. So we talked and hit it
off and got married, had three children, and got divorced
at twenty one. At that twenty one, twenty one years.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Oh, twenty one years. I No, that was a quick marriage.
I had three kids. Yeah, man, that was a quick
was added. We got three kids about twenty one and
got divorced.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
Lord, that's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
So y'all married for twenty one years. And when I
talk to people about their past marriage, I don't even
ask them to uncover stuff that's protected under the Covenant.
My question always asks is this, what did you learn?
What did you learn about yourself coming through that marriage.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
I learned that I'm an overcomer and that you can't
I can't dwell on the failure and how it made
you feel and what you what you didn't do. Yeah,
and because you'll get well, you didn't do this, you
didn't do it, but all the things that you did right,
that means you're still a good person. Just because I
didn't do a couple of things wrong, then I got

(44:56):
to be defeated.

Speaker 6 (44:57):
No, I'm not.

Speaker 4 (44:58):
I'm still a good man, and that's why I was
able to bounce back, you know. But I'm gonna tell
this as well that as going through a divorce, I
sought help. We can pray that's good, but I had
to seek a therapist.

Speaker 6 (45:13):
Yes, that's good.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
I went to therapy to got my mind right because
I wanted to hurt some folks and you know, to
protect myself.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
Yeah. I'm feeling the spirit around that you done been
through some stuff in your marriage.

Speaker 7 (45:25):
Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. I'm here. Yeah, because it
was it was yeah, not this one now.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
Now.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
It was tough because in twenty one, I went through
COVID and pneumonia, and at that same time, you know,
I get a call and saying that I don't want
to do this no more. And it was tough, like
I'm fighting for my life. I'm not gonna try to
fight for this. I know who I am.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
You.

Speaker 4 (45:52):
I told my kids that this is the lowest you'll
ever see your father.

Speaker 7 (45:56):
That's good, the lowest. And I thank God for bounce back.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
And you know, just to be able to marry, to
be married again is a blessing.

Speaker 7 (46:06):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
And at the time, I didn't want to do that again,
but I said, you try to date and do all this,
and it's just like, nah, man, I got time for this. This,
this is for the birds. This ain't for me. I'm
forty six years old trying to run the streets. I'm
too old. I can't. I'm trying to get back on
my feet. I literally started over at forty six. I'm

(46:28):
working two jobs and then trying to date. Nah, I
ain't got time for this. No, we're not doing this.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
So when you meet her, y'all communicate, y'all going to
date two weeks. I have to have phone conversation two
weeks later, y'all go on your first date and then
you say, I love you. Sure did, And that didn't
scare you, you said.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
Because I knew right then, because I knew. I talk
about this in my book. I said, God know what
I needed, and you know what I wanted was wrapped
up in Sophia. And when we was talking on the phone,
she was what I needed and wanted I talk about
she was my missing peace because when we started talking
on the phone, you know, a guy at forty six

(47:12):
years old starting over, you give that resume. I told
her she would have pop my balloon back in the day. Yeah, related,
because you're not talking what a woman would want to hear.
But when I'm telling my story, she's affirming me, even
in my lowest part of my life.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Wow, So explain that why you feel I should have
popped your balloon?

Speaker 4 (47:36):
Divorce, three kids, starting all over?

Speaker 7 (47:43):
Who wants a guy like that?

Speaker 2 (47:45):
But you think about that, Sofia, because you said you
don't want a man that was married right right.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
And didn't want one starting all over because I was
getting started.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
You know, said were both at the same pot, the
great the starting line that actually started out. It is
interesting this is interesting because I love to hear couples
talk about what they didn't want and then you realize
that what they really needed was each other. For sure,
Sophia doesn't been in the streets male presenting. You know

(48:13):
what nerve to say, I want a man they ain't
been married, because I'm gonna keep it one thousands. So
so here, Tommy, save thisself a marriage, got married, did
things the right way.

Speaker 6 (48:29):
She over talking about you ain't good enough for me.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
That is terrible because we do be having all these listens.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
We've been just like Reglars. But by the time hold on, let.

Speaker 6 (48:41):
Me go, get on Tommy.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
And then Tommy said the other girl that he wanted
you too promiscuous, marry you.

Speaker 6 (48:47):
You sit there say that.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
Yeah, geez, I'd be like God, I thank.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
You, wake up the shouting with this man like God, because.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
That's how God is. God can sit back and say
you don't know what you need? You know, God look
at you and be like, so how that work out
for you? Because you can go You did it. You
did it the way that it was quote unquote supposed
to be done. You chose who you were quote unquote
supposed to chooser the best choice.

Speaker 6 (49:15):
How that work out for you.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
Then you choose somebody that's totally surrendered, submitted to God.
Somebody that's walking in the full authority that God has
placed on them. Somebody has a story to tell to say,
that's cute that you were raised like that. I'm from
the hood. I was raised like this. I didn't have
all this. These are my experiences. But what she brings
to the table, what she brings it to the marriage
is a level of grace, also a level of anointing that.

Speaker 6 (49:41):
Your ex wife may have not carried.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
She carries something because she's been through the fire, and
she will cherish this marriage even greater because she knows
what God has done for her in her life. She
never even saw this take place in her life, so
that means that she didn't even see it. So now
she knows it's totally she's walking in the v of God.
So she says, this is God's vision for my life.
So I show can't just sit back and think I

(50:05):
know better than him. What I thought best for myself
was to choose the lifestyle that I chose. I couldn't
even see this. The prophet couldn't even see this. The
prophet spoke over my life, but didn't see this. This
is I'm in my God place, this is my blessed place,
and so she'll be more surrendered and submitted to it.
Where she talks about submission, she's more surrendered and submitted
to it because you first had to submit to God.

(50:26):
She submitted to God and then said, okay, God, you
told me what submission. You showed me what submission looks
like before you even bless me to meet this man.

Speaker 6 (50:34):
I had to have a strong relationship with you.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
I had to have a one on one relationship with
you where you begin to show me, you begin to
change me. You begin to start speaking to my heart,
speaking to my mind, showing me how to show up from.

Speaker 6 (50:46):
A feminine perspective. You did that guy.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
So now when you bless me with this man in
my life, I'm an honored because I know that's.

Speaker 6 (50:53):
Your gift to me.

Speaker 7 (50:54):
You neled it, Yes, sir, because I see it.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
That's that's God, because.

Speaker 6 (51:02):
I see it.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
Because we make up these ideals in our mind thinking
we can choose what's best. Yep, if you could, you
wouldn't need God. I remember telling God that my single season.
God changed my prescription because what I think I desire
and what I think what I want is not working out.
It's not working. I've been divorced, I was married two

(51:24):
weeks shot ten years. I chose what I thought was
best for me. It didn't work out. So I said, God,
I'm tired of choosing. I need you to choose and
make it plain. Wow, make it where I know it's
you and only you. Make it where I know that
you had to navigate these hearts to converge in these
moments together in order for us to see each other.
Because it was nobody but God that could make this happen.

(51:46):
Nobody but God can take you from Chicago, you from Houston,
Texas and allowing encounter to take place in one season
of your life that you revisit another season. That's nobody
but God. You ain't smart enough to make that happen.
So you can't network yourself into that. You can't make
him go through divorce at the precise time he had
to go through a divorce in order to meet you

(52:07):
in another season. Man, leave me alone. You can't make
it happen. So let me get back to the interviewing.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
Y'all stop and shout glory to God, don't play with it.

Speaker 7 (52:18):
That's good because you couldn't make that happen.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
That's good.

Speaker 6 (52:21):
And so when y'all met.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Each other two weeks later, then how did this marriage
come to come to pass?

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Well, when I saw when when he was at his loan, right,
I knew of him.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
So I also knew that he came from a very you.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
Know, a really good background, like in his previous relationship, right,
And so I saw a man that was working two jobs.
He was working around the clock. So I just saw
a hard worker. And I also admired his walk with God,
like he was getting up going to church and you know,

(52:59):
when I was traveling, he was on the phone making
sure I made it and you know, just doing things.
And I was like, man, this is a good dude.
And so I'm gonna be honest. Like when he say
like he was at a low place, God didn't let
me see that. I just I saw a very hard
work and successful man. And so when I was affirming him,

(53:22):
it was out of truth because that's what I saw.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
I saw him fight to get back up.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
And then I also saw the integrity of he never
ever bashed his previous and if you could be in
twenty one and a half years of a marriage, and
I don't know anything that shows that you have you're healed,
and you have integrity.

Speaker 3 (53:44):
So I felt very safe with him.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
And then the fact that he served for twenty one
and a half years in the local church, a man
who serves, and I'm like, man.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
This is just this is awesome.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
So I saw who I'll see every like this is
a very powerful.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
Wise good man.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
And so I was just blessed when he ended up
saying he loved me, and I said, let's we might
as well go together.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
Uh, And I knew that it also was God confirmation.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
It was like we just hit it off and then
you proposed, like at my conference later.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Three months later, he went to a conference in front
of everybody.

Speaker 7 (54:30):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
And I had to get all that stuff taken care
of behind the scenes without her knowing, going through a family,
going through apostle. It was a nerve wack and getting
the ring and all that, it was just but God
worked it all out. The day that I got her ring,
her favorite song started playing in the in the jury
shot I love that and it was just I said, God,
you you, yeah, you here you thank you. I'm literally

(54:56):
As soon as the lady came back, she said, you've
been approved because I mean, like I said, I'm trying
to get back.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
On my feet, trying to get a ring.

Speaker 7 (55:02):
Yeah, it got a.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
Nice one, you know. And she came back, she said, sir,
you've been approved. And the first one I saw, I
was like, that's the one. And the song started playing.
I was like, thank you Lord. I called my best friend.
I said, man, I'm about to do it. He said,
what are you about to do?

Speaker 2 (55:18):
What?

Speaker 7 (55:20):
He said, boy? You just He said, man, you're serious,
aren't you.

Speaker 4 (55:24):
I said yeah. He said, man, you know I'm down.
I'm with you.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
With you that was the.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
Best proposal situation. I mean, to do it on a
public platform. To me, I just saw God and then
my spiritual father was there, my natural father was there,
you know, and it was just it was happening and
I'm seeing my life and say, God like me, like
and to give me what I mean, I said all

(55:52):
the time, like you gave me such a good like
the way he loved me. And know I had a
capacity to you know, that take a good strong man
to even be able to carry somebody's story like that,
you know, and not make me feel weird off. And
it's just I was blown away that day that he proposed.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
And even after the proposal, we talked, so.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
I'm thinking maybe next year we're gonna get married, you know,
a year later, and just enjoying it. We were talking
and I think I said about when what we were
talking about.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
The day, and he was like, what like December.

Speaker 7 (56:31):
I'm like, I told.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Yeah, And I was like, wow, okay, whoa. And we
decided on January seventh, as been some significant numbers of
the new beginning of the year and all of that.
And we had a beautiful, fairy tale wedding. It was
on a state tom ball. It was just immaculate. It

(56:59):
was just it was a fairy tale. And but only
God can give me what he gave me to be
a bride, a beautiful bride and have my husband and all.

Speaker 6 (57:11):
It was just it was told.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
My mom passed in twenty one. Oh wow, but my
dad was there. But I know my mom, she always
saw this. She would always say this, and I didn't
think I could have a husband.

Speaker 3 (57:28):
That reminded me of my granddaddy.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Like my granddaddy was the best man I ever known,
and I tell him all the time, your nature, so
I know, like my mom her prayers and what she
put in the earth and decreed it was established, it
had to come to pass.

Speaker 6 (57:46):
So what was your relationship with your life with your dad?

Speaker 3 (57:49):
We liked best friends like my dad.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
You know, he went through his own things in life
in and out of prison. You know, had some substance use.
He was consistent with when he was around. He was around,
and so even now, like we talk all the time,
were very close, got a very very close relationship. And
for him to come and be a part of the

(58:12):
wedding and walk me down the aisle, you can't make
this stuff up.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
So what did he think when he saw you in
one season masculine presenting and now you're feminine?

Speaker 1 (58:25):
So I don't think he really understood as much as
my mom like my dad just you.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
Know, it's like did he even know?

Speaker 1 (58:34):
Honestly, I don't even know if my dad like put
like I don't like he wasn't like that, like to
even pay attention.

Speaker 3 (58:41):
I never thought of that. Wow, I gotta ask him, like.

Speaker 6 (58:47):
You know, he just didn't say no.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
He just seen me always seen me as like Sophia,
like never it was never nothing, No, that's I gotta ponder.

Speaker 6 (58:59):
On you said that. Did you know I used to
missed up?

Speaker 2 (59:04):
What's the stud construcchie?

Speaker 3 (59:15):
What's that?

Speaker 6 (59:17):
Jesus? Oh God?

Speaker 2 (59:20):
And so let me ask you this, Tommy, how did
you accept her testimony?

Speaker 4 (59:28):
It was easy because that's her past and that's what
people get it misconstrued and just like, oh, you gotta
remember she went through that. Okay, we all done went
through something. We all have a past. Why should I
have to bring that up? Why should I have to
look at her differently because she lived that lifestyle. We

(59:48):
got to stop doing that as people, because we do
that too much. We want to focus on what they
did in the past. But look at her now, like
Chris Brown's he said, look at me now.

Speaker 8 (01:00:01):
Yeah, yeah, Mike Jones back then, y'all on me.

Speaker 6 (01:00:08):
That was in the that was in the Bible.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
I think that was an Exodus three up, the message
the hood version. Let me ask you this real quick.
So were you able to see yourself as redeemed as
easily as he was able to?

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
Were you nervous to be like, Okay, I got to
tell him about my past? Are you just like yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
No? And the best thing was I was already on
social media. I've always been very transparent and sharing my
story and and talking about it and pretty candid about it.
So he had already went through like he went through
the old tiktoks. I'm talking about that man was at
the bottom like and stuff. When I'm like, my.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
God, everything, see what I'm getting myself into? He said,
I saw all your videos.

Speaker 7 (01:00:56):
He saw it all.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
You ain't surprised about nothing. Your friend didn't get your
hard time.

Speaker 7 (01:01:01):
They actually and that's the crazy thing.

Speaker 4 (01:01:03):
That is the part that everybody that's in my circle,
in a circle, even from my even from my exis family,
they said, Tommy, you deserve what you're getting right now.
It was crazy because the day that let's come on now, sorry,
don't give me so we're talking. You know, we're before

(01:01:31):
we know social medialy. You make it known, right, uh
My Axes aunt called me and she said, who you dating?

Speaker 6 (01:01:41):
I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
It was funny because we had just talked about this,
and I said, well, you know, let me get so
I called her and I talked to you know, hey,
aunt evil. She was asking you know about this and that,
and she said, you can tell that I said, I mean,
I don't know how these phones work before I can
even get it. Since she's screaming calling me, I'm so

(01:02:04):
happy for you. You deserve it. That is perfect. She
is perfect. Y'all are perk for each other. She said, Tommy,
you're so deserving of this. And it was just like
my best.

Speaker 6 (01:02:15):
Your ex wife's aunt.

Speaker 7 (01:02:16):
Yeah, she but here is went right. So, and this
is another thing.

Speaker 4 (01:02:24):
I knew that she really loved me and she loved
the situation was dating. And she said, since that's happening,
you need to go see her. And I said I
don't have I said, I don't have no money. She said,
don't worry about that. She says, all me. She said,
pay me when you get a chance. She brought your

(01:02:45):
plane ticket. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 8 (01:02:48):
Yeah, Lord Jesus, because he needed to be catching flights
and feelings.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
If you call them feeling and say I love you, you're
probably gonna be my wife like Tody recent baby boy,
I love you, you probably gonna be my wife.

Speaker 6 (01:03:09):
So so you wasn't wasting no time, you.

Speaker 7 (01:03:12):
Know, I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:03:12):
And that's another thing I didn't want her to. You know, Listen,
I'm me and I preference this. I'm forty nine years old,
I'm a grown man. Yeah, we're not doing this lead
no five year relationships.

Speaker 7 (01:03:27):
I don't hey to each his own. I had to
let her know that I'm serious.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
I'm not just out here all willy nilly just trying
to say, oh you my fiance and then string you
along for three years. Now we're gonna, we're gonna, we're
gonna get this done, and we're gonna put a ring
on it, and we're gonna set a date and we
got to do it right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
What have you heard, Sophia from maybe women that you've
dealt with in the past when you posted on social
media I'm married Now, what kind of feedback were you
getting from them? Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
So many people was excited, like the support because people
knew my story and just you know, saw my life
and they were excited for me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
And then.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
And then I thought, wow, you know the excitement. Nobody
prepares me for the transitions.

Speaker 5 (01:04:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you know, one of the things
I think that was very important for me, Like because
when I was single and you know, traveling preaching and
having some amazing opportunities or being seen as a leader,
it was just everybody loved that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
Version of Sophia. You know, I was available. I'm a
girls girl. You hit me up, I got you, you know.
But then when I got married, I was very intentional,
especially the first year, to make sure that he knew
he was first like and that meant even when relationships
with traveling, I made sure like he was a part

(01:05:04):
of like, hey, you know how you feel about this,
and including him because it was important for him to
know that even though I am the strong leader, I
want to be submitted.

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
Can you lead? And so I've done that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
In that it was a lot of transitions and a
lot of challenges, and then there was you know, you
post your man and it's your man. Listen, I'm happy
and I'm excited, and hey, oh man, they're getting mad,
Like it started getting real weird for a minute.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
You know, it's starting to bring a balance in.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
But what I tell people is I was posting when
I was at my mom house, on the floor up
bed ugly green carpet in the hood. So if you
really follow me, go watch some oh you faithful videos.
This ain't like I'm showing out now. I was doing
this when I was saying going long and lonely for
a minute. Hey, he's a part of my life.

Speaker 6 (01:06:02):
Why the people I don't understand. Why are people like that? Though?

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
So you all got something to say, it's like, so
you ain't supposed to post, and if you didn't post,
it be like, well that that relationship ain't real.

Speaker 6 (01:06:12):
Yeah, what's going on? She won't post them. I guess
they're on the outs. I guess they ain't gonna make it.
You like, well, I'm trying to keep this private.

Speaker 7 (01:06:18):
What she keeping private?

Speaker 6 (01:06:19):
What she hiding for?

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
What they They always speculate so much because people that
are that want to breed toxicity. That always you can
never do too much for the wrong people. It's like
they'll just they'll just keep trying to find fault in
whatever you try to do. But then you've been private.
How do you feel about that about her posting you?

Speaker 4 (01:06:40):
I don't mind. I'm happy, you know, and I'm happy
with her. And if you don't have a problem with it.
If you do have problem, that's fine. What I have today.
What I say today is your opinion of me, doesn't
pay my bills sucks.

Speaker 7 (01:06:59):
Whatever you do however you think.

Speaker 4 (01:07:02):
That's fine. But we we're happy. We're doing our thing.
We're gonna post. I know she does it. I'm getting
into it and I love it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:10):
Yeah, listen, this is fun.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
I like that fun conversation. I like the trip out.
I don't want nothing all heavywhere we're talking about this
heavy subject matter and everybody feels sad and all that.

Speaker 6 (01:07:25):
No, this is this is a happy thing.

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
It's delivers Uh do you gonna get people like you said?
This is an episode I've never done before, and so
I don't know what people are gonna say. You know,
people be like like you said, saying that you wasn't
truly gay, what they say about the stud.

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
Thing that was so funny.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
I don't think that guy thought I was gonna love
that comment the way I did. He thought he hit
with that one, and I'm like, boy, that's crazy.

Speaker 7 (01:07:50):
That's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
Shared as a story myself, Raise the Lord. That is
funny though, But like those conversations. I like conversations that
spark conversation and dialogue. Has your transformation deliverance sparked deliverance
in people that used to deal.

Speaker 6 (01:08:11):
With in the past.

Speaker 1 (01:08:11):
Oh man, it is somonies. Yeah, it's so beautiful. Like
I have mentees who I've helped disciple through the process
in such a way that I think that I've had
the grace to tell them, like if God began to
go work in you, He's gonna complete it. To help
take some of that false pressure off of people, because

(01:08:32):
when you give your life to the Lord and it's
dealing with you know, coming out of homosexuality, especially if
your identity, you know, was somehow compromised.

Speaker 3 (01:08:43):
I just really.

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Try to be a source to tell them, you know,
trust God leading by example, giving them books. I have books,
I have courses and just really help people. And then
I'm actually helping a young lady right now who's through
a process and you know, you got questions, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
Hit me up.

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
I'll help you navigate through those challenging spaces because I
didn't have that, you know. And so I just make
myself available without judgment. I don't judge anybody. I don't,
you know, speak down. I don't condemn people to hell.
I don't make people feel bad.

Speaker 3 (01:09:22):
I really have the heart of God.

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
To say, trust God, you give your life to Jesus,
trust that the help are gonna help you. He'll leading
guide into all truth. So how I tell people is
they'd be like, well, this is my truth. I'm living
my truth. When you give your life to Jesus, one
of the promises is holy Spirit leads you into truth.
So whatever deception you have in your process, that truth

(01:09:47):
will be revealed. And so we gotta be more patient
with giving people grace to journey well, to journey with God,
not interrupt the person process, like people trying to put
me prematurely outwardly to look delivered for their comfort, for
their confirmation.

Speaker 6 (01:10:08):
That's good, she said, for their comfort.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
Yeah, And it was like, no, I'm going to follow
God because my appearance wasn't the confirmation of my freedom.

Speaker 3 (01:10:17):
My marriage isn't the confirmation. They have a lot of.

Speaker 1 (01:10:20):
People that's married and still struggle. So that's that's just
he doesn't confirm my freedom. My relationship with Jesus is
the confirmation, and you can't question that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:33):
I met a woman who was married and her husband
didn't know. I remember I met her and I told
her first conversation, I said, I think your friend that
you keep saying is your friend, that's your seat, that's
your private lover.

Speaker 6 (01:10:46):
She said, in the world did you know that?

Speaker 2 (01:10:49):
I said, God just told me that, and she said,
nobody knows that. She said, if my husband knew that,
he would lose it. But here it is married and
has a one I'm in that nobody would affect feminine
woman all that, and no one would suspect that that's
her lover, her her close friend.

Speaker 6 (01:11:09):
And so, like you're saying, to your point, that makes
all the sense in the world. I can.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
I can play this facade. You can put your dress on,
put makeup on, look all like this and still be
struggling internally and still be doing uh messing with women still.

Speaker 6 (01:11:22):
But for the church, it looks like, oh, she didn't
look at what God did.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
She's so changed to delivered, so that when you really
walk through your deliverance, it's one hundred percent for real,
you know fully, So I hear what you're saying, which
gave me a different level of knowledge, because I would
assume the same thing if I start seeing you still
walking around like that, and I'd be like, she saved
still like this, she need to get dipped in the

(01:11:47):
pool a little bit more, you know. A couple of times,
you know what I'm saying, I'd be wondering. I'd be like,
why is she still doing that? But now you've given
me even more understanding, so that even when I see
men coming out there lifestyle, then the maneurisms, you know,
they still be holding onto those manorysms. And then you
go like and then you speak something like, he still gave. Yeah,

(01:12:09):
you know what that person is.

Speaker 6 (01:12:11):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:12:11):
And then if you're if that person hears you say that,
and they go, but God, I'm not anymore.

Speaker 6 (01:12:17):
What are they seeing?

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
Well, I guess it's easier for me to go back
into his lifestyle because I'm not accepted by the church.

Speaker 6 (01:12:23):
And so I love what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
So I want this to be a challenge for Christians
out there that when you're seeing people walking through their
deliverance in any and everything they're walking through. You may
have somebody that comes straight straight from the streets. They
come to the church. They still smell like we but
they just gave their life the Christ two weeks ago.
You know, talk to that person. Still show them love. Hey, listen,
you know, Ron wasn't built overnight. And my journey when

(01:12:47):
God was delivered me from stuff, it happened in process.
It wasn't like I just came up and I just
walked around and I'm just saved, sanctified field, the Holy
Ghost speaking in tongues. On the day I accept the
Jesus Christ is my personal Lord and savior. It was processed,
and that process took long. Some of these processes. Even
God delivered me from pre marital sex and fornication.

Speaker 6 (01:13:07):
That took years. I even know to even pray that prayer,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:13:11):
I prayed that prayer for the first time in twenty
twenty in December. I was like, my body got value,
I'm supposed to Wait. I never heard that conversation. Had
I never knew that at all. So I was like, Okay,
my body has value. You ain't supposed to be fornicating. Wow,
how am I supposed to do that? You know what
I'm saying? Why would I stop doing that? That was
the first question. Why would I stop doing that? I'm

(01:13:33):
a grown man, I have needs, and God began to
start changing me from the inside out. And then when
I started sharing that story about hey, I've been asking
for seven eight months and then if I fall off,
I'll share that story. My pastor told me something so wise,
which I don't talk about anymore. Of my absence journey
or whatever. But I stopped saying that for a year.
For the last year, he said, I want you to

(01:13:55):
heal privately and grow publicly. He said, everybody don't need
to hear that journey. He said, you said it enough.
You showed your vulnerability, you showed your transparency. I want
you to heal privately and grow publicly.

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
That's amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:14:09):
And so when when now, when you share your testimony,
you'd be like, oh, yeah, and I'm married and God
did this and we were able to do this in
our marriage, and you share that after the fact, but
don't share people that you know you've done that enough.
Don't share why you're in process. That was the greatest
advice you ever shared with me. Shout out to Pastor
Evan Connor where you shared that. Past Evan Connor, you
know that is ye oh yeah, that's And so when

(01:14:31):
he shared that, I was like, Okay, it makes a
lot of sense.

Speaker 6 (01:14:33):
I'll walk in that on of that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:35):
But again, because a lot of people don't give grace
for what you're talking about, they'd be like, she's still yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
It's a sanctification process. But I and I also can
I just speak to I want to speak to any
young lady or young man that have given a life
to Jesus and you still trying to figure out how
to walk out the process of the identity, part of
whether it's the masculine femininity. And sometimes it's often that

(01:15:03):
you want to hold on to the image because of
the fear of what you're going to look like and
the shame that's connected to. But I've always lived my
life this way.

Speaker 3 (01:15:14):
I want you to. I get you, I see you,
and I understand. But I do want to encourage you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
Trust God, obey God, leaning too God, don't stop the process,
continue to walk this thing out and stand on. If
he began a good working youth, he's going to complete it.
God never start nothing that he don't intend, don't finish it.
And I want to just encourage you to enjoy the
process because on the other side of that total transformation

(01:15:41):
of you surrendering and yielding your entire being to God
is a whole new life. And so I just want
to encourage you that God got you well.

Speaker 2 (01:15:50):
Sophia, wy don't you just keep cooking. Go ahead and
bring him to Christ, Go ahead and do it at cast.

Speaker 3 (01:15:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:55):
So, and also if you don't know Jesus as your
personal saving. Let me tell you one of the greatest
things that I could have ever done in my life
was made the confession and give my life to Jesus.
I simply just ask him coming to my life, coming
to my heart. I want to be born again. And
I kept on acknowledging to God. I feel like a mess,

(01:16:16):
Like what could you do with my life? I'm terrible.
I felt so far from God. And God told me
that before he formed me and my mother's womb, he
knew me. Many of you you've been known, You've been
preordained for new Before God formed you and place you
on your mother's womb, he had already sanctified you, set
you apart. There is an ancient word that I've been
spoken over your life.

Speaker 3 (01:16:37):
There's a destiny for you.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
And I just declare that as you give your life
to Jesus, He's going to send you help, which is
the Holy Spirit. And Holy Spirit is going to lead you.
He's going to guide you. He'll never leave you or
forsake you. And I want you to just.

Speaker 3 (01:16:51):
Hold on to God.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
And every time you feel like God is far from you,
for you to just say God, you said in your word,
you'll never leave me or forsake me. The benefit of
salvation is not just eternal life. The benefit of salvation
is so that you can maximize the fullness of your potential,
your purpose, and your assignment in which God has sent
you into the earth. And so I want to invite

(01:17:13):
you to ask Jesus to come into your life and
your heart be born again. Once you walk out of
the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of light, God
is going. I'm telling you it's gonna be such such
a new life that's gonna come upon you. And I'm
telling you gonna look at yourself. You're gonna say I
never even imagined this for me. I didn't even know
that this could be my life. I never saw this

(01:17:34):
version of me unfolding. Trust God. I just released the
grace and the faith over you, and I declared that
as you come to Jesus, many of you gonna be testifying,
and God's gonna use your story now and in the
days to come.

Speaker 6 (01:17:50):
Amen, Amen, and Amen again.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
How can we support y'all what y'all got going on
social media accounts?

Speaker 6 (01:17:57):
Drop that what you got going on.

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
I just dropped the new book which I'm very excited about.
My new book just dropped caught. It will be God.

Speaker 6 (01:18:05):
It will be God. And I saw a little funny
real that you kept saying he'll be God.

Speaker 3 (01:18:09):
Yeah, if somebody says to me, what does that mean?

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
It simply will be God, because I feel like God
has already declared a purpose over all of us before
time and anything you're going through that when you trust God,
he gonna see you through any situation.

Speaker 3 (01:18:27):
And I saw how me just declaring I just.

Speaker 1 (01:18:30):
Made that decree it will be God or it will
be God during the time that I lost my mom,
and that meant I just trust God.

Speaker 3 (01:18:38):
Either way it go, it will be God.

Speaker 1 (01:18:41):
Concerning if I'll ever get married and hear that, brother King,
it would be God as a powerful decree that you
don't got to worry about nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:18:48):
It will be God. So please get the book.

Speaker 6 (01:18:50):
It will be God.

Speaker 2 (01:18:53):
What about you, Tommy, I know you said you about
to get more active on social media.

Speaker 6 (01:18:58):
Yes, follow you.

Speaker 4 (01:19:00):
I'm pretty active on TikTok okay, yes, sir, do you
want people to follow you?

Speaker 5 (01:19:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:19:05):
All right, what's your IG? Tell them?

Speaker 4 (01:19:07):
TDA fourteen fourteen TA.

Speaker 6 (01:19:12):
T fourteen fourteen. Yes, sir, and what's your Sophia?

Speaker 3 (01:19:16):
Your girl? Sof on Ig and Sophia roughing on everything.

Speaker 2 (01:19:20):
It would be links in the description for y'all to
easily click on it, follow them, support them, pray over
this amazing couple. Y'all go ahead and just give it
up for my homemis the Wilsons.

Speaker 6 (01:19:34):
Stay tuned to the end for a letter to my
future wife.

Speaker 7 (01:19:37):
Right in these love letters.

Speaker 2 (01:19:44):
Ladarium thrust it suddenly into child protective services.

Speaker 6 (01:19:48):
In twenty fifteen, my nephew, black a boy.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
The likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim to none? Rmione,
sixteen years old, black a boy with five years in
the Falster care system before I even knew his name.
The likelihood have ever been adopted?

Speaker 6 (01:20:09):
Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.

Speaker 2 (01:20:13):
While Laderian and our MONI were trying to survive and
barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system,
I was living my own life, doing well professionally, having
been a single father with a daughter who at that
point was doing well in college. It was my time
to live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

Speaker 6 (01:20:35):
There are just.

Speaker 2 (01:20:36):
Two many of our black children stuck in ambiguity and
in the limbo of the Falster care system. In twenty seventeen,
I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen.
I had no ties to this other young king, but
I felt God instructed me to adopt.

Speaker 6 (01:20:52):
Him also in al Babe.

Speaker 2 (01:20:54):
Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right, Working
with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring
awareness to the countless young Black kings and the foster
care system should have decreased my agitation.

Speaker 6 (01:21:06):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:21:07):
Joining the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and
organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in
Falter care should have led to some type of resolve.

Speaker 6 (01:21:16):
Right, No, not at all.

Speaker 2 (01:21:19):
None of it felt like I had done enough. I
now realized that every one of those experiences was land
the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

Speaker 6 (01:21:30):
Kingdom Royal.

Speaker 2 (01:21:32):
Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art
home for foster boys. Our first location will be in
the Dallas Fort Work Metroplex. We will utilize the whole
person approach that instills identity empowers them to advocate for themselves.
And enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that
they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings will attend

(01:21:55):
the local public schools that are in proximity to Kingdom
Royal our at home correct will broaden their worldview through
participating in the arts, attending various cultural events, learning about
and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and even
relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to gardening and landscaping, and
even caring for our animals on our form and on

(01:22:18):
site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign with
the goal of raising two point eight million dollars. Now
why two point eight million dollars?

Speaker 6 (01:22:27):
Well?

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which
I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.
One of the most notable successes was that one of
the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However,
one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise
a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

(01:22:47):
plan for the homeless community. So throughout the years, with
much remorse, I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment
I knew if at that time just ten percent of
the viewers donated one dollar, we would have raised at
least two point eight million dollars that could have really
established long term support for the homeless community, or at

(01:23:08):
least started a long term initiative to do so.

Speaker 6 (01:23:12):
This is my do over, this is our new beginning.

Speaker 2 (01:23:16):
Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically
helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented
in the American fossil care system. I'm a Terisarwickfield. I've
been nominated for three Regional Emmys documenting my work with
the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite
those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly providing

(01:23:40):
the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com
for more details Crown of king and make a donation today.
Wasn't this episode absolutely amazing? I love when I can

(01:24:03):
just chop it up and have conversations add a wrinkle
to my own brain. Never had a conversation on Dear
Future WIFEI podcasts of that subject matter, so it's very
refreshing to have that conversation. Shout out to Sophia for
being willing to have that conversation, and Tommy for giving
her the space and grace to have that conversation in
front of him. Well, here's my favorite part of the podcast,

(01:24:25):
where I speak to my future wifey. Dear future Wifey,
The world will always have something to say. Some will
cheer us on, Others will criticize what they don't understand.

Speaker 6 (01:24:33):
But I promise you this, I.

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
Will never let the noise of public opinion drown out
the melody of our love.

Speaker 6 (01:24:39):
You and I are.

Speaker 2 (01:24:40):
Team bound by covenant, not by commentary. My job isn't
to defend us to the world, is to protect us
from the world. I'll cover you in prayer, shield you
with my words, and hold you steady when outside voices
grow loud. You'll never have to wonder whose side I'm on.
It'll all be ours, our love, our union, our journey.

(01:25:04):
We will build a fortress of trust so strong that
no opinion can penetrate it. Our intimacy will be our
safe place, our bond, the proof that truth outweighs gossip,
and when the pressure mounts, will stand back to back,
knowing that together we are unshakable. To let them talk,
let them, speculate, let them judge from afar. As long

(01:25:26):
as we keep protecting each other, their words will never
hold power over us.

Speaker 6 (01:25:31):
What God ordains.

Speaker 7 (01:25:33):
No man can counsel your future Hooby.

Speaker 2 (01:25:36):
I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future
Wifey podcast.

Speaker 6 (01:25:39):
Remember be lit, live.

Speaker 2 (01:25:42):
Intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving. Make sure to
subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and YouTube channels.

Speaker 6 (01:25:49):
We're available on.

Speaker 2 (01:25:49):
Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

Speaker 6 (01:25:52):
Welcome your support.

Speaker 2 (01:25:54):
Simply share our podcasts with your friends and family.

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