The Dating Debate (Guests: Pastor Marcus D. & Nicole King, Jessica Reedy, Rashid Floyd, David C. Williams, Tyreese Smith, Shaniqua Rischer)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How's these dating streets been treating you?

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Somewhere on the way. It seems like men have stopping.
Thank you, Thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
We are alive in the Soto, Texas at DC three
in the building. I was watching a video today. This
man gives his wife one hundred and fifty thousand dollars
for each baby that she has. Y'all clap and see
look at you see. Let us straight deliverance. The altar
is right here for you. So men look at it
and now, oh see, now you want one hundred and
fifty thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
I have three soomes.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
That's four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
You just hold on every single last one of my pregnancies.
I didn't use any medicine and I almost die. It's
not a dollar amount, it's just value.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
So it's not the dollar value you saying, just the
acknowledge that you want to push present. Absolutely, Okay, that's fine.
I'm just staying. One hundred fift thousand dollars look extreme,
Hey man.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
You've given to yourself. So to even have the mentality
that anything you're putting in my hands you're losing, is wrong.
Off back. We are in the wrong relationship.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
If I'm for a child like a vending machine, that's weird.

Speaker 5 (01:01):
My father didn't get my mother a push present, But
did he appreciate her and do something for her? Sure,
I'm sure he did. But at the same time, do
you want to keep it one hundred in here? Let's
go away at one hundred. Sometimes men feel like my
money is our money and your money.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
Is your money. That's a real thing.

Speaker 6 (01:16):
I think sometimes people get into relationships with this Shack
and Kobe perspective. Sometimes folks go into the racers say, man,
I ain't changing nothing. I'm as good as to get.
I'm the best that there is. Some people say, look,
I think that every day I want to love you better.
I want to get better as a person myself. But
everybody's not willing to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
In that name a time in your life where you
experienced the greatest transition.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
I'm real skeptical to even saying this all out, But
last year I found out I had cancer. I was
ready to take a big transition. I was very happy
to do so.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
So you were saying you were ready to go see Jesus.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Absolutely, it's hard.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
For people to reconcile. Most of the time you hear
people older in age who get to this place of solace,
this place of release. How would you do this as
young as you are, the Dear Future WIFEI podcast has
global impact from Texas.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,
and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

Speaker 7 (02:14):
God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,
founding authentic spirituality.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
California.

Speaker 8 (02:22):
I learned so much as a single man through your
podcast and continue to learn so much as now a
married man Nigeria.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
This is just therapy for me.

Speaker 7 (02:32):
You know, I've been healed, I've been strengthen in my
convictions on the stoo to do single hoopbitsa.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible
for a man to be as intentional as you are
New Jersey.

Speaker 8 (02:48):
I appreciate your vulnerability.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
I appreciate just being able to see that there is
life after divorce.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
To New York.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
I am a single woman, so these episodes really give
me hope and courage that God.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Does have a husband for me discover, uncover and recover love.
I'm La Terrasaar Whitfield and this is season ten of
the Dear Future WiFi Podcast. I'm thea Terrasaur Wifield. Welcome
to a Dear Future Wifie podcast. I'm your host. Are
you still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking
up with us, can we get a commitment? Come on,

(03:20):
hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you're selling
your notification bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.
We are live in De Soto, Texas at DC three
in the building. We have an amazing episode today. Before
we get started, I want to just go around and

(03:42):
have everybody introduce yourself, starting from my far right in
the back talk King.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
My name is Tarry Smith. I'm gonna give age.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, just give a little bit of background about good
thirty seconds.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
Of who you are.

Speaker 9 (03:56):
Twenty five years old. I'm from DeSoto, a member here
at D been a member here since about two thousand
and seven, two thousand and eight. Yeah, So Pastor King
is the shepherd over my life and I give him
all the honor and Lady Nicole as well.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
So good, good, give it up from y'all. Ty Reef.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Hello, my name is Janika Richard. I am a business
owner and I'm a minister. I'm from Dallas, specifically o'cliff
right right, Dallas, And that's just a little bit about me.
I've been a member of here at DC three since
we first started an inception was seventeen years. It's hard

(04:38):
to pass to me, but I appreciate that he does.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Good. Give it up for Shanika, y'all. What's up?

Speaker 3 (04:48):
King?

Speaker 4 (04:49):
What's good? Bro? David Williams.

Speaker 6 (04:52):
I was on season two of Queen's Court with Will
Packard and Lisa Ray and all those folks. I'm also
a natives South Downas, Texas. I'm also a two time
Engineer of the Year. I'm a take exec published author.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
And a great run that back you said two times?

Speaker 4 (05:12):
What again? Two time Engineer the Year?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Did y'all hear? Engineer? That means the brother got brains.
He says he's smart, he's intelligence. That's what's up?

Speaker 10 (05:21):
Key?

Speaker 4 (05:21):
Thank you? Brother?

Speaker 1 (05:23):
What's up? Brother?

Speaker 4 (05:24):
Hello? Hello? My name is Rashid Floyd.

Speaker 5 (05:27):
I was seen on Oprah's Ready to Love Season two.
I'm originally from Houston and I am also a luxury
automotive specialist and I'm also a podcast host and I'm
just happy to be here and I'm a great great dad.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, dad, Yes, that's what has him in town right now.
Your son is competing and what Yes.

Speaker 5 (05:49):
He's got an AAU tournament this weekend right here in
the area.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
And things worked out so here I am.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah. So he called me in he said he was
in town, and I was like, I'm gonna put you
on a panel. I want you to show up, and
so I just drafted him to be on the on
the panel of Day because it's an amazing guy that's
very vulnerable, and so I love when I hear men
that are very transparent and vulnerable. Here's another face that
y'all is no stranger. Introduce yourself, queen.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
How y'all doing. I'm Jessica Reedy. I'm just a comedian.
I'm the one who mopped the floors, so please make
sure not to scuff him up. I see, y'all, were
y'all heels today. I worked really hard and I'm very
happy to be here. Latyrs picked me up from the street.
I got real nice and dressed up for the occasion.
So very happy to be here, thank y'all.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
And she just so happened is able to sing very
very well too. Just so happy to sing very very well,
she's annoying songstress. Brother. When I was going to the
start from lady.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Hey everybody, I'm Nicole King and I am the wife
of Pastor King.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
We love DC three. This is the house, y'all.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Y'all rings up DC three DC three. So I am
a personal trainer. I'm a group exercise trainer as well.
It's right next door in the same shop and center.
By the way, I have three children. I'm fifty years old.
I just recently finished my master's right before I turned fifty.

(07:24):
I was really excited about that, and I just love serving.
Weight loss is my passion. Working out and fitness is
my passion and my heart over here and my children.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
What's it?

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yes, yes, the shepherd of the house, my brother, Pastor
Marcus King. Give it up for him before even starts speaking,
give it up for this brother. Yeah, I give it
up for I love this dude. I've been knowing this
dude for years. I mean how long we known each other?
About me?

Speaker 11 (07:53):
I was trying to think back, what was it one
of your one of your earlier players.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, so I think it's about fifteen years or something.
We've known each other, is what I started. Oh, Yeah,
so this's seventeen here.

Speaker 11 (08:04):
About twenty. Realize that y'all give it up for the
Terrence Whitfield. That's what you've given up for. He been
doing this stuff for years and he didn't just come
on the scene. He been doing this and so we're
grateful to have you here today. Man, I'm just her husband,
that's all I am. I'm the janitor here and I'm
just we're just glad to have y'all here. So you've

(08:26):
seen that. I'm ready to get along with the show.
So y'all want to know something about me, make sure
you get some books tonight, that's what that's first thing
until you get my book tonight and my book coming out.
I have a book coming out on prayer called The Audacity,
and so we want to make sure we're talking more
about that later on.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
But yeah, well we'll get that.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, I'm gonna get all of your business today. So
get ready. We're gonna have fun. All right, So let's
let's let's just jump on one of the Let me
ask y'all who y'all want me to start with?

Speaker 12 (08:51):
First?

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Who y'all want to whome name? Who y'all want me
to talk talk to Jessica. David, y'all said, David, Jessica.
David raised your hand, all right. Jessica raised your hand,
all right. So here we go, Jessica. We've been talking
to you, Jessica. So, Jessica, this weekend is titled Transitions.

(09:14):
When you hear the word transitions, what comes to mind
when you think about your own personal life, name a
time in your life where you experienced the greatest transition.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Okay, well, this year I and y'all about to go ooh,
and I'm real skeptical to even saying this all loud,
but last year I found out I had cancer, and
so this year, I, you know, went out of town
and had an amazing experience, and it transitioned my mind

(09:45):
from the value of time and how willingly I was
ready to take a big transition. I was very happy
to do so, and God giving me an opportunity to
stick around. It made me very press I was always present.
I enjoy talking to people, but it grounds me down.

(10:05):
I realized I don't have limits. I can get whatever
I want. There's no place I can't go. I truly
believe with all my heart every room is mine. I
belong there, I find my place, and everyone else has
to adjust. That's how I feel about it. And because

(10:26):
I like me now, I like me. I like everything
about me. I like my flaws. I mean, I really
like me, you know, And that took a long time
to get that. I really like me. I think I'm cool.
I don't know when y'all are experiencing me. I need
a Yelp review because I just I think I'm dope.

(10:49):
So yeah, that's what comes to mind me.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
So, Jessica, you touched on this. You said you were
ready to transition. So you were saying and you were
ready to go see Jesus absolutely why it's hard for
people to reconcile. Most of the time you hear people
older in age who get to this place of solace,
this place of release. How would you do this as
young as you are?

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Thank you so much. As you can see, I'm still
in my twenties. The truth is I've lived many lives.
God has used me to do a lot of amazing things.
For me, I had made my contribution, Like you know,
people smile, people are happy the music I've put out,

(11:36):
whether it helped one or two or five or five
thousand or five million, you know, we in the millions,
but I would what else can I do?

Speaker 1 (11:47):
But you got these beautiful.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Sons, right. I'm an amazing mother, right, And because of
how I raised my children, I've raised my children to
be independent. I've raised my children to understand life and
how amazing it is to go to a place where
there's peace. The Bible says to cry when babies are
born and to rejoice when you die. So, however, we

(12:13):
program to each his own. But when you finally understand
that life is about making sure other people know light
and love and Jesus, what else I'm holding on to?
You know, if it's time, it's time, I'm gonna have
a huge smile on my face. I have made a
great contribution. Okay, it wasn't time, So okay, God, what
else you want me to do? Because now, if you

(12:36):
thought I was a problem, then you know what I mean.
I wasn't no problem. You know, easygoing, I'm a problem.
No Lord, Yeah, it didn't come as a challenge. My
tears were for my children, my oldest, he was hurt
by it. My oldest said some things that made me say, okay, cool,

(12:56):
I'll go and figure out I'm not doing chemo. I said,
but if there's something natural, I'll go do it. I'll
find it out. That's the only reason y'all't looking at me,
Cause right now I was okay, I was one thousand. Okay,
Please don't have no pity. I can't stand that emotion.
Know that we do what we're supposed to do, especially

(13:17):
if you love God with grace and with honor. I
get the opportunity to serve God's people. That's the biggest
thing I could have ever done, and I'm very pleased.
I'm happy about it.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Well, can we just give God some praise because she's
still a monkst the living. Give God some praise all
over this place. Yeah, I was hard watching her on
social media. She always smiled when she was in Bali,
and she was just smiling, and I was like, gosh,
to know that she's going through this, and I always

(13:47):
kept this beautiful smile on her face. Was encouraging to
just watch. But uh, I wasn't ready to let go
of you just yet, So I did you to this.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Is what a regulatorians is not kind to me and
and you know, when you want to know, this is
how the funeral would have sound. But he's not actually
nice to me. I'm serious, he shurely. I'm that balloon
thing that stand outside and do like this. That's the
only reason I want the stage right now. He knew
I cracked some jokes, he using me, and I wanted

(14:17):
to say that just in case people up here was boring.
I'm here to just fill in gaps. That's the only
reason I'm here. That's it. But go ahead say what
you're gonna say. I'm listening.

Speaker 8 (14:26):
Give me my flowers.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
So I would have missed Jessica if she was gone.
I would have missed her. That is my buddy. I
love her. And so I'm glad that you're still amongst living.
And yes, you are right. I did bring you in
here to crack jokes and that crazy and maybe sing
a song at the end of this podcast. Amen. Amen, Amen, David.

(14:52):
You're a single man. How optimistic are you in these
dating streets? When you're dating? Let me ask you, do
you date?

Speaker 4 (15:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (15:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (15:03):
And so as you are dating people, are you optimistic
when you when you let me ask you, do you
desire marriage?

Speaker 4 (15:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Okay? And so sound a little skeptical, didn't he? He said?

Speaker 6 (15:18):
Yeah, little hesitation. No, we've had this conversation. Yeah, yeah,
I want to be married, so you want to be married.

Speaker 4 (15:26):
So conditions now it's conditions.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, we know, it's conditions, and so you desire marriage.
Do you feel optimistic as you are dating people? Do
you feel like that person is out there? Or have
you gotten weary and you're well doing?

Speaker 4 (15:42):
No.

Speaker 6 (15:42):
I do believe that a person is out there for me. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
How long will it take if you met said person?
How long would you have to date her in order
for you to put a ring on her finger?

Speaker 6 (16:01):
One second? You know, man, that's not a number, right. Look,
I think it could happen within less than two years,

(16:21):
probably less than I don't know, a couple of years.
I'm gonna put around two man, I'm gonna put around too.
I mean, look, it's it's it's difficult to understand people today.
There's a lot of personas that people have. There's a
lot of things that people bring, whether it's trauma, baggage.
Some people want to hold onto those things and keep
talking about the past. Life is a needle on the record.
We got to keep going. You know what I'm saying.

(16:43):
Everybody's not there. I just want My request is simple.
I'll ask that someone reciprocate incredible only.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
Now that's yeah, unpacked that unpacked that David. Okay, so
you know.

Speaker 6 (17:04):
I like to use basketball terms, but I'm not gonna
do that this I'll do it, Okay, all right. So look,
so you got shacking Kobe right, Yeah, okay, I gotta
go here one time. Man, Look, Shack was like, Kobe's like,
I want to practice all day every day. Shack like, man,
I'm not doing all that practice, bro, you know what
I'm saying. Kobe's like, look, everybody can get better in shocks,

(17:24):
like I'm the best.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
I think.

Speaker 6 (17:26):
Sometimes people get into relationships with this Shack and Kobe perspective.
Sometimes folks go into the races say, man, I ain't
changing nothing. I'm as good as it gets. I'm the
best that there is. Some people say, look, I think
that every day I want to love you better. I
want to get better as a person myself. I don't
want the first date to out to be the first

(17:46):
year that where we're together, be better in the second
year or the third. You know, it should get better,
not worse. Right, Okay, Yes, Well, if you Shack and
you breaking all the goals around here and be ya, okay,
then you' doing what you're doing. Okay, Then we're gonna
go with three championships together. The life gonna be great. Man,
We're going into the Hall of Fame. But if you
didn't come with all that talent and skill, all that

(18:07):
stuff that you developed that does run the whole NBA
like shack, If that's not who you are, then every
day should be a little bit of developer. And I'm
not afraid to say, look, I stuff, I need to
get better at this stuff. We all need to get
better at. But everybody's not willing to do that.

Speaker 4 (18:20):
In that thing.

Speaker 6 (18:21):
A lot of times people be like, I don't want
to change, and change me. Okay, well I guess I
got to go.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
I mean, I'm not.

Speaker 6 (18:31):
Asking for anything that I don't want to give. My
whole point is reciprocate incredible only let's leave that mediocre.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
You know, after that, he.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Donet redeemed himself, didn't it? He said two years? He
sain't gonna wait too. Let me ask you all that.
Let me pull the audience. How many y'all wait two
years for a man to put a ring on your finger?
Anybody anybody's okay, let me get what's the right number.

Speaker 4 (18:56):
Then what's the right number?

Speaker 1 (18:58):
I ain't the right it's your number. Okay, then it's
your number. It's checking, that's check it. But shouldn't take
two years anyway, So how you know what?

Speaker 4 (19:06):
Honestly, honestly, it may not even take two years. I'm I'm, I'm, I'm.
I'm working off of data from the past.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
He said that I got your engineer and everything.

Speaker 6 (19:16):
Honestly, I'm just saying it may not take two years.
If somebody's reciprocating, incredible, I'm not gonna it. Don't take
a whole day to recognize sunshine. It's just that everybody's
not gonna do that.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
I'm talking about her. I'm talking about the one. I'm
talking about the one.

Speaker 6 (19:28):
I mean, if you're talking to like that, if we
don't just go ahead and put the Disney glasses on. Look, man,
I still believe in love at first sight.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Okay, but do you believe in proposal at first sight?

Speaker 4 (19:47):
I mean she putting the ring on me. We're talking about.

Speaker 6 (19:55):
I'm saying, we can't have a conversation, we can't talk,
fight or nothing.

Speaker 4 (19:59):
It's gonna run.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
I'm saying, how many musks because you said two years.

Speaker 6 (20:03):
Hey, look if if she's her, okay, she's her, she's incredible,
she's incredible. It's not gonna take it's not gonna recredible
only incredible only. It's not gonna take two years. No,
it's gonna take probably several months to be Like, look,
while we're playing, while we're.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Playing, so you would say while we're playing, while we're playing. Good,
all right, So if you met what you're looking for,
because I'm telling you reason why.

Speaker 6 (20:23):
I date in Dallas, So I haven't you know, I'm
just saying, you know it. You know it's I don't know,
it's I love it. You know you're you're kind of
in Disney right now with this. You know, you know,
I don't know why.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
You say you think? So what is Dayton, Dallas? Gotta
do it?

Speaker 6 (20:38):
I mean, I'm just saying it. In the real world,
I'm just saying I haven't ran an incredible yet.

Speaker 4 (20:41):
Brother.

Speaker 6 (20:41):
You know she here, You give me the number, you
got my number, pass it on. I'm not on tender Bumble,
I'm not on the app. So you know what I'm saying,
I'm missing it.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
He said, if you hear, give me your number.

Speaker 4 (20:51):
Yeah, I mean if you if you know her me.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
No, I will. I'll give you the layer.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
I'm not bull. I'm not on bumping fishing.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
I give you a layup out. Let me ask you
all this. I want to ask the women out there.
How many y'all will wait? How many y'all with data
guy for two years before expecting areen? How many y'all
raise your hand? So it's a lot of y'all. So
let's let's let's pull it from this standpoint. If you're
under the age of thirty and you will wait two years,

(21:20):
raise your hand, you all right? If you're under the age,
if you're between thirty and forty and you will still
wait two years, raise your hand?

Speaker 12 (21:30):
All right?

Speaker 1 (21:30):
One one person over there? If you if you over
forty and you will wait two years, raise your hand.

Speaker 4 (21:38):
And now.

Speaker 6 (21:40):
Kids, now we're not talking about outside kids into two years?

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Ain't is it?

Speaker 6 (21:44):
Outside kids? I said, we're not talking about that. Now,
we ain't talking about outside kids.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
How the kids get into the equations.

Speaker 6 (21:50):
I'm just saying, you acting like the two years, it's
like we're dealing with some drum in the middle of it.
I'm just saying, I say, no drum, I'm talking about
healthy love, healthy baby.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
You never had a baby on the n right? All right?
Come wrong, come testimony. Got something you want to say
the testimony.

Speaker 4 (22:05):
Brother, I'm just saying you over here, like yeah, I'm testimony.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
I'm saying you met a woman that you liked and
you started dating her exclusively for two years. You will
wait two years with exclusivity before you decided to put
a ring on it. It will take you two years
to figure out if you want to spend forever with
this person.

Speaker 6 (22:25):
Man, not an incredible person. Brother, It's gonna take some time.
If y'all going through issues. You know, y'all going through
bumps in the road and it's all kind of weird stuff.
But no, if you run into somebody incredible, man, I mean,
like I said, I believe in love at first sight.
It's just as in life, you go through issues, somebody.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
Gonna assume this. Somebody gonn judge.

Speaker 6 (22:41):
It's somebody gonna you know, somebody family know they got
this kid, somebody other baby. You know, there's all these
other things that getting a big.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
Kids keep coming up from David Worthy's kids popping up
and the car. What have you been dealing with?

Speaker 4 (22:53):
My brother?

Speaker 1 (22:54):
So you so hold on.

Speaker 4 (22:56):
One second, one second, one second, one second.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
You'll be da.

Speaker 6 (22:58):
All these people in here don't have no But you
said the kids like they popping up.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
You done met him. Hope, if you met them, you
know they got kids, you start finding out about them
in year one, you'd be like, oh, I know you
had three other kids. He said, My brother needs So
that's what you mean. My brother traumatized out here? Good lord,
he said, you found out about the kids. What I

(23:24):
found out in raising was something that I didn't expect.
Around the forty agent up, most of y'all raised y'all hand,
that y'all would give it longer time, which is something different.
I asked, y'all more y'all raised y'all hand than the
forty above, that y'all would wait two years. That is interesting.
Did y'all realize y'all did that? So y'all more cautious,

(23:46):
y'all more? Uh huh, yep, I believe it. All right,
We're cool. I'm gonna ask when we do a Q
and A. I want to unpack that because typically the
older you become, the shorter the day is you like,
I ain't finn, you ain't gotta wait no, two years.
I got. I done froze my eggs. I need to
get my eggs all out. I don't have time for

(24:08):
all this. I done went to the opg yn. They said,
I'm about to have a geriatric childbirth. I'm thirty five
years old. We need to go ahead and get this
show on the road. You got six months tops. After
six months, I'm moving on. So y'all said, y'all wait
two years. Y'all got grace over here in disciple Christ like,

(24:31):
good Lord, it's interesting. So that's good. We're gonna talk
about that. So your wife may be out there. They
gonna give you two years. You know that's good. Sneaker,
how's these Dayton streets have been treating you?

Speaker 2 (24:45):
I can't say these Dayton streets?

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Why not?

Speaker 2 (24:48):
Because it's foolishness. There's so much oh between men and
women right now. It's not good. It's not good. But
I don't like the Day's streets.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
I date.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
I think that men are very interesting at this point
in my life. But it is what it is.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
When you say they're interesting, to unpack that, please.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
So somewhere along the way, it seems like men have
stopped being thank you, thank you amen, they.

Speaker 3 (25:20):
Answered it for me.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
We all have touched and agreement.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
You have a whole choir out there.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. They expect you
to do a lot of the work. They expect you to.
And it's so funny because it's what's interesting is that
a man doesn't want a woman to lead but in
the day and they want a woman to lead. Wow,
And so these streets. It's not conducive for dating, it's not.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
You had a very interesting journey that you're very transparent
and vulnerable about. When did you see yourself getting married.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
I thought I would be married probably in my med
excuse me, my early thirties. I thought I married then.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
So early thirties, and you remained a virgin all the
way up until what age forty five? Forty five?

Speaker 2 (26:09):
He didn't know that.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
He's like, what, yeah, yeah, so so forty five. I
want y'all to see if y'all keep clapping, And so
around forty five you got weary in your well doing why.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
So it's so funny because when we went to a
mission trip in the Gambia and we had this conversation
and I thought I had put this to rest. So
everyone knows the story of the prodigal son, but most
people don't ever think about the oldest child, the other brother.
And so what happens when you were so tired of
being the one that you feel like is doing everything

(26:47):
right and nothing is coming your way. That's good And
so for me at that age, I was just over
and done with it because I've had reproductive health issues.
I just was like, is coming from as far as
a mate, is this man gonna ever show up? I'm
trying to be obedient a Meani's hard. I'm trying to

(27:09):
be obedient. I'm trying to be all of this and
I'm trying to follow God. I'm trying to walk in
my calling. I'm trying to do all of these things
in nothing. And so for me at forty five, I
was like, I'm done with this. I'm tied, and I
methodically planned it. I called him up, I said, hey,
when you come into town, I want to sleep with you.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
And what was his response? Well, I know his response.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
His response was yes, if I were to ask anything,
I would sincerely doubt that any of the men that
I have ever talked to would say no. So I
that was not even a problem. That wasn't even that
never crossed my mind that he would say no, was.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
That somebody that was just a friend or somebody were dating.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
I mean, he wasn't anyone I was dating. But he
wasn't just a friend. He had just kind of evolved
and moved a little bit more towards attraction and things.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
And he knew that you were a vision. He knew
that that decision he would be making would be you
surrendering your virginity to him.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
He asked me, are you sure about this? And I'm like,
I'm positive.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
And then how did you feel knowing that you were
disciplined for forty five years, honoring God, after math, the aftermath,
and then you decided to surrender that? Then what hit you?
Take me through mentally spiritusly? What did you undergo going
through that? Because I take it that you were literally
waiting for marriage to give up your virginity.

Speaker 12 (28:40):
Right.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
So what's so interesting is that the older that I grew,
I wasn't quite sure I was waiting for marriage, but
I was waiting for love. At one point when I
was younger, I was like, I'm waiting for marriage, But
then as I got older, it became I'm at least
waiting to have love and a love connection with someone,
and then that when that didn't happen, my decision, but

(29:03):
the aftermath of it, the immediate aftermath, I was like, Okay, okay,
I've done this. But then slowly after that, the devastation came.
Because I've used sex as sacred. I believe in soul tis.
I believe that there are connections that you make with

(29:24):
other people that you can't break. I believe that when
you are with other people that spirits. I believe in
all of that. And so for me, sex was so sacred.
And I'm not saying I was perfect beforehand, so let
me really be clear on that, but I just was

(29:45):
like I was tired. But afterwards, the devastation after rooms
was I, you know how, and it's gonna sound bad
from a spiritual standpoint, but I feel like I got
my lick back. I felt like God was like, I
got you, and he did. He handled me. He did,
he handled me, And that was the devastation with that,
and then the disappointment and disappointing God. That's probably what

(30:09):
crushed me more than anything that I had to finally
make peace with, is that because my relationship with God
is so important to me that I was intentionally disobedience,
like this wasn't just something that just oh happened. No,
I was methodical. I was intentional with my disobedience because
I was rebellion, rebelling against all of the hurt, all

(30:33):
of the grief, all of that, and then once it
was gone, it was gone.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Did you forgive yourself from that? I have you said
your therapist walked you through grieving the life that you
thought you were going to have walk us through that?
What was that process? Because I believe that a lot
of us can learn something from that. When we're younger,
we have these especially they start playing with Barbie dolls early.

(31:03):
They they're taught about marriage and love and relationships at
an early age. You put in your mind, I'm gonna
be married by the age of twenty five. Some guy
that you dated in high school. You'll tell yourself, we're
gonna get married. Uh, And he's like, yeah, right, But
you're sixteen years old. Your frontal low ain't even developing.
You just you you you believe that this guy is
the one, until you realize later on that he's not.

(31:26):
How did you what type of things that you have
in your mind that you had to reconcile and grieve
that didn't happen at the age of forty five when
you made that decision.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
So I think I started grieving the life I didn't
have within after forty five, after I slept with someone,
and part of that so I'm very open to transparent.
So I had fibroids when I was in my no
in my twenties. I was first diagnosed with fibroids, and
immediately I was like, I can't have kids. My doctor

(32:00):
was like, no, that's not gonna be it. But I
literally felt like I had a vision for God actually called,
which is a part of my calling to ministry, Like
I had a vision, and part of that was I
was not a mother, but I had all of these
children that were not mine around me. And so from
that I had to get in my mind, Okay, you're
being pessimistic in your twenties, but then thirty comes and

(32:23):
then forty comes and this still isn't coming to fruition.
And so when I had had the first firebreaid surgery
and then later on was still having other surgeries, and
then I ended up sleeping with someone, and then the
funny thing is is that so have I've had a
hysterectomy last year, and so when people ask you do

(32:43):
you want kids? And I had to make the decision
to have a hysterectomy, well, I don't know if I
can have kids because I haven't had sex to figure
this out. Oh God, so I haven't been in a
position to figure this out. But I'm about to alter
the entire course of my life on what So at
that point I had to really start having conversations with

(33:06):
myself and with my therapists because I put it off
for so long, Like it got to the point, I
mean it was bad, like I've had multiple reproductive surgeries
before I finally had a hysterectomy, and like even my
doctor was like, child, you sure you won't just go?
And I was like, no, I'm trying to wait. I'm
gonna try to do this the right way. But so
it had gotten to that point though that I really

(33:26):
had to reconnizile within myself. This is not what my
life is about to be and I can no longer
make a decision, especially with my health, based on I
wish I would when I had nobody was in sight,
and so I had to learn to start grieving that
and acknowledging that I'm not gonna be a mother biologically,

(33:49):
I'm not about to I won't know the answer to
the question if I could have kids, even though I
had so many other reproductive health issues with fibroads and
poly ups and all of these things as a woman.
And so those are things in hard conversations I had
to have with myself that I had to cry, that,
I had to talk to my friends and my therapists

(34:09):
and my doctor and be like, I can't believe I'm
about to do this. But now on the other side
of that, I'm like, oh, it's the best decision I
ever made.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
I love that y'all give it up for her, because
I I just want to say thank you for sharing this,
thank you for your vulnerability. I believe that you're setting
people free. I believe that what you're saying right now
because it's the thing that a lot of women struggle
with privately, that you're giving voice to those women and

(34:39):
in the church unfortunately, and I thank you, Pastor King
for allowing this conversation to take place, because a lot
of churches would over spiritualize that and beat her up
that she didn't have enough faith. She didn't have enough
faith to wait for God to bring that person to her.
She didn't have enough to believe that God could heal her.

(35:02):
And you didn't have enough faith. And she's saying, you
have no idea, how much fasting, idea, how I may
have the mothers of the church lay handsome.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
You don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
And what makes it so bad is that we will
demonize her struggle. And her struggle has been for forty
five years. Believe in God for this thing, and like
she said, she had to make a decision from her health.
So I'm saying, Shanika, I appreciate you, queen. I salute
you queen for giving voice of this because as a man,

(35:34):
I've been having these conversations with women often on my
podcast that a lot of men we just don't know.
People don't even know. She said, we don't. God, I'm
trying to have a safe space. You just attacked us, right,
just attack, But.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
So many men don't. It's so many men don't know
about women's reproductive health and what we experience and what
we go through, Like I just can't. I've had literally
sent conversations with male friends and they were like what
you mean. It's just so much that it's overlooked when

(36:09):
it comes to women, and it's a lot of things
that women hide. Yes, but I don't believe, especially when
it comes to that. I don't believe in hidiness.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
That's good. I had a conversation with one of my
goddaughters yesterday and she said that she had gotten My
daughter had a baby shower last week and so I'm
gonna be a grandfather. I'm gonna be a grandfather. So
I praised God for that. In September, and her friend,
who I've known since high school my daughter was in

(36:40):
high school, she said that she had a miscarriage last
year and the first thing that the father of the
child said was what did you do? And it devastated her.
And then the doctor said, hey, listen, you can come
into the office. We'll extract the baby, or we can
just give you a peal for you the past. The
baby based in the toilet and the guy said she

(37:04):
took the pill. She was very nauseated. He said, make sure.
The doc said, make sure someone is present while you're
going through this or whatnot. The dude sat around for
a little bit that day and he said, man, I'm
gonna go, ahad and pick up a shift from work
and went to work and left her there. And when
I said, I was so upset when she told me
that yesterday, and I was like, ah, this is so

(37:25):
just how naive can you be? But unfortunately that's probably
commonplace for a lot of men to be like, oh,
you'll be all right, You're just gonna go use the
bathroom and you're gonna pass this, and we're gonna you're
gonna be all right, thinking that it's just she's on
a cycle or something, not knowing that he needs to
be present in that moment. And so that's why I
applaud you for giving conversation to give him voice to

(37:47):
this right now, because I do want more men to
be sensitive to the reproductive health of women. So it's
not a thing of well, what's wrong with you? You know,
I've had situations with a friend and so whatnot where
the man was blaming the woman for not being able
to get pregnant when you found out that he was sterole.
You know, he's blaming her and saying you can't get pregnant,

(38:09):
you can't get this or whatever. And then she said,
you know what I want you to go get checked
and then found out that he couldn't have kids. And
so it's so crazy how it is that will blame
the woman and blame the woman when you know, we
all need to have grace for each other. So again,
thank you, thank you, Thank you did that. Bless y'all
to have this conversation because a lot of women are
dealing with fibroids like crazy during this time, and so

(38:32):
I thank you. Just talk to this young king, Tyrese.
I love your song Sweet Lady. By the way, I
loved that song. I love that song, Tyrese. But listen,
so Tyre's how old are you? You said you're twenty
five years old.

Speaker 4 (38:47):
Twenty five years old, yes, sir.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
And I love that you're going to give voice to
the younger generation. But you're so different in the conversation
that we had, you know, right before coming on stage,
you're a very very intentional young man. What has made
you so intentional when it comes to relationships and love?

Speaker 9 (39:07):
Honestly, just tom, you know, spending time with the same
woman that I've been with for a while.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
We've been rocking for a while. Yeah, but also too
just seeing the people.

Speaker 9 (39:21):
Around me, like my parents, having role models around me
like Pastor King and different relationships in the church, just
just different people. Just being around older people a lot.
That's I know, Pastor King said, I'm like an old
young old soul, and so just being around older people,
it's taught me a lot.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
So I would say that, so you desire marriage, I
do absolutely why.

Speaker 9 (39:45):
I feel like your blessing is on the other side
of covenant.

Speaker 4 (39:48):
I truly believe that.

Speaker 9 (39:50):
And for me, I would definitely say I haven't had.
You asked a question to uh Miss Jessica earlier about
her transition, and I feel like I'm still in my
transition trying to figure life out, you know, who I
want to be, what I want to do, and stuff
like that, and I haven't had the best look. However,

(40:11):
I've been with this woman, and so it's like, well,
maybe I need to This is the part that's gonna
unlock that that blessing for me. Because because we talked,
we often bring up, you know, the verse of a
man that finds a wife, find a good thing, but
he also finds favorite with the Lord.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
And so I need favor, I need favor.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
So yeah, so do you believe this woman is your
favorite factor said that one time. Do you believe this
woman is your favorite factor?

Speaker 4 (40:49):
For sure?

Speaker 1 (40:50):
Why?

Speaker 4 (40:51):
Why she sent from heaven?

Speaker 12 (40:55):
Man?

Speaker 9 (40:57):
I mean yeah, so yeah, I would say this. I
mean I don't really have an ancest to why.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
I just haven't.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
You just said, I just believe it. You just said it.
You said that someone sent from heaven. There's no greater
place to be from, you know. And so for you
to be able to understand that and then have the
wherewithal and know that that next level of transition is
only unlocked through covenant to understand that. And I want

(41:26):
to talk to you, young king, for you to understand
that at twenty five years old, do you know how
much heartbreak you're saving yourself? Do you realize how much
wasted time you're saving yourself? You realize how quickly you're
going to get where you're trying to get because you
are doing things God's way. You have to understand that.

(41:47):
And I want this to vibrate across you the whole
world right now. I want for younger people, especially men,
to get the lesson early, to learn the lesson early,
because as you can be that was called like an
old fool. You know, you be fifty five years old.
Still like, come on, I mean, at the end of
the day, how many girlfriends do you want? You know,

(42:08):
it's like you twenty five, you realize that and this
power in that. I want you to understand that there's power.
Do you find that a lot of guys your age
don't think like that?

Speaker 4 (42:18):
Absolutely? Absolutely?

Speaker 1 (42:20):
What are they on right now? But what type of
time are they on? I'm hip, I'm hip right, So
I just lost it when I said hip, right. I
just lost it when I said I'm hip.

Speaker 4 (42:33):
To be honest with you, I'm gonna be completely honest
with you. I have I have two friends that are married.

Speaker 9 (42:39):
That's twenty five to twenty six, twenty seven range. I
have three that are engaged. That's twenty five to twenty six.
So everybody your circle is like that.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
Hold on, so you just named five friends that are
in it intentional relationships like that?

Speaker 9 (43:02):
Yeah, but not not all of my friends are some
of them, some of them are single. I do have
other friends that are in relationships that aren't engaged or married,
but a good amount of them.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Yes, yeah, how's that? Are they in the church or
I mean, how do you meet these guys?

Speaker 13 (43:15):
Like?

Speaker 3 (43:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (43:15):
Yeah, the two that are married.

Speaker 9 (43:17):
They're both pastors, and so they they kind of put
me on game.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
That's why I can talk the way I do about this.

Speaker 9 (43:23):
But and then my other friends they are they are
in the church, they are believers, and so I think
that that plays a huge part in it. But you
asked the question about what type of time are these
young men on. I think everybody's on their own type
of time. I mean, I couldn't. I can't just say.
I mean, we know, you know what I'm saying, You're
gonna have some young boys that's out here that's trying

(43:44):
to get to it, you know what I'm saying, And
then something that's actually trying to be intentional about day.
And I have one friend of mine, my best friend,
actually he is like super intentional, like to the point
like he kind of liked David, like he believe in
love at first sight, and he's very optimistic and stuff
like that, and so he's super intentional about everything, and
so I look at him. But then I do have

(44:04):
other friends that's not on that at all, you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
And so it's both ends of the spectrum. You said
something that was interesting when you were speaking about the
love of your life. What did you say that I
don't want to give you your words, but what did you
say that made you know that she's the one?

Speaker 9 (44:29):
Honestly her support for me, but also the fact that
she gave me the space to become or to allow
me to become the person who I want to be.
And like I said, I'm still in my transition, and
so a part of it is I'm still figuring it
out and she's allowed me that space to do that,
and I'm allowing her the same way.

Speaker 4 (44:46):
So it's that reciprocation.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
And see, I think that's so important to give people
the grace to figure it out. I know a lot
of y'all are somebody in the forties and fifties. You're like, no,
you should have figured out by now. I ain't got
no grace. I have zero grace. Grace has expired. Give
this rap career up. You fifty five years old. You
are not going to be a rapper, that's what you're saying.

(45:10):
And you heard that in the spirit. You said, you're
not going to be a rapper. Thus saith the Lord
thy God, and so you don't have grace for that.
But I'm talking about is people are getting to know
each other as people, because you sometimes you feel like
people are supposed to know you already, Like let somebody,
that person existed on this earth for thirty five years,
thirty seven years without you, and so give them the

(45:31):
grace to get to know you and be open and
vulnerable and transparent so they can actually understand and learn
who you are. But I love when you said that
one of the things that you admire most about your
woman is that she gave you the grace to figure
it out, and you're giving her grace to figure it out.
And that's cultivated in friendship. So I highly respect that.
So thank you. Say something, all right, what you want?

(45:54):
All right? Well cool, I'm gonna talk to Rashid real quick. Rashid,
And so you were on the show Ready to Love.
What made you decide to get on the show like
ready to Love to find love? And where where your
intentions looking for love or you had a different intentions.

Speaker 5 (46:12):
Well, I was divorced prior to right, So going through
that whole season of grieving and healing and the whole
process and counseling and things of that nature. And it
was about two years, right, and then just organically.

Speaker 4 (46:24):
I wasn't. I didn't even know. I'd heard of the show,
but I didn't know.

Speaker 5 (46:26):
They were coming to Houston looking for a Houston based cast,
and I was just one of my buddies of mine.
I was like, man, you know what tied to being
in the house, I've been, you know, tied to.

Speaker 4 (46:35):
The pity party. Let's go. I'm ready. I got myself together.

Speaker 5 (46:37):
So he's like, great, man, to meet me out somewhere
and then we'll we'll.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
You know, commune and I have a couple other buddies
with me.

Speaker 5 (46:43):
So anyway, I'm there and I met someone that was
telling me, hey, are you single? We're talking to there's
this show called Ready to Love. They're casting for Houston.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
I didn't even know about it.

Speaker 5 (46:50):
I said, oh, I can getting my information, and sure
enough they called me and I started thinking about the show.
So the reason why I went on the show is
because I was ready. I had done the work through
counseling and accepting my flaws and where things went wrong.
So those of us have been divorced, you go through
like so many different stages.

Speaker 4 (47:12):
It's aggrieving.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
You go you grieve that, and then you go through
y'all how many y'all have, how many y'all divorced? All right?
It's a lot, all right? All right? So about that
sound bad? When I say it's a lot, Just that
sounds bad? Oh well, I raise it was a lot.
It seemed like I had almost all the audience to
raise my hand. What I just I'm sorry I say

(47:37):
stuff wrong. Sometimes I don't. I don't know. I know
it's that many people. It's getting worse and worse as
I talk, it's getting worse.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
Go here.

Speaker 5 (47:46):
So for me, I felt I had done the work personally.
My son was already adjusted to his new normal. That
was my most important to make sure he was set
up and things were going ready for him. So now
it's time to take care of that. And then so
when the opportunity came, hey, why not. I'm gonna be
open to the process. I'm gonna be myself. And if
I happen to find love on the show, then so

(48:07):
be it. Because I am a lover of love. I'm
a sucker for love. I do love love. I think
love and relationships makes me better. So I've always felt
that way, and anyone who's known me from middle school,
high school, college, even my teammates in college will still
tease me to this day as a forty seven year
old man like god dog Rushie, like everything is not
gonna be peaches and cream and lollipops and rainbows. But

(48:28):
knowing that, going on there and saying, but why not?

Speaker 4 (48:32):
Why not?

Speaker 5 (48:32):
Sometimes we always defeat what we don't even know before
it's even presented to us. So when I went on
the show, I'm gonna be open to the process and
be myself and see where the chips fall.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
And so that's what led me to the show.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
And you found love on the show, you would say
love right, yes, sir, all right, so you found love
on the show and it led to an engagement, and
what happened with that engagement?

Speaker 5 (48:55):
Okay, well on the show we found like on the
show and after the fact, we actually started dating after
the show. There wasn't a true love connection on the show.
And she's actually from the d MV.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
I mean not d M D. I'm sorry, I'm from
Houston'm sorry, d f W. The little sister.

Speaker 6 (49:12):
Slow down man, slow down down, hold up.

Speaker 5 (49:18):
You know in Dallas in the bags over here, you
know how we do Houston in Dallas. So anyway, so yes,
So we actually started dating more intentionally after the show, right,
and again just open to the process and just we
met each other at the right place in our lives,
and then we were very open and honest with one
another in the beginning about what we wanted and what

(49:41):
we had gone through and things of that nature. And
so ultimately you fall in love. And would I say,
because a lot of people see TV love and they
think it was fake, for that, I was looking at
it as to I see this person outside of the team,
So it made it more intimate that we actually started

(50:02):
pursuing each other after the fact, and then we started
to get to know each other, and I would say,
she's not She wasn't typically the woman I would typically
go for.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
However, when you.

Speaker 5 (50:13):
Start meeting someone and talk and she really poured into me,
and it was like, Wow, she's dope, and then you
just go down that road and you just kind of
fall in love.

Speaker 4 (50:20):
So we did that, and then you know, things.

Speaker 5 (50:23):
Things started to go awry, and I'll I'll own up
to the things that I did in the relationship. And
then oftentimes now I speak to men about the things
that we do and the things that we don't have
to do in relationships, we show up as our eighty
percent best is what we can be and be okay
with the twenty and sometimes we try to put on

(50:45):
a facade of the twenty that we don't even need.
So I say that all the time, and I'll say
that to myself. I am enough just as who I am,
flaws and all, because I think I'm pretty dope even
with the eighty percent of me.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
So with that, you go through the work. Are you're
trying to you.

Speaker 5 (51:01):
Know, as the kid say, I'm you know, you're doing
a whole lot of cap and you you portraying something
that you're not when the truth and the core of
you is enough and sufficient. So with those things, they
started kind of leaning us down the wrong, wrong path.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Did you'll understand what he's talking about? Okay? Because I
want to, because you know, I like specifics. Let's do it,
let's do it. I just want to make sure y'all understand,
because I if I didn't know already, I would understand
nothing he talked about, so specifically, okay, let's do it. Yeah.
So so specifically that was just a warm up, warm up,

(51:36):
all right, lit'stenpact this. So you said you showed up
eighty percent, but the twenty percent you tried to beat
what happened? So you were engaged to her? What did
you do wrong?

Speaker 2 (51:53):
Right?

Speaker 4 (51:54):
So that's a great question. So see he laying on.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
My podcast twice, so he's been on both times with
his ex fiance. And what I admire about him is
that he was willing to give voice to something that
most men aren't willing to give voice to. So I
always like it when men when they show up in
spaces when people haven't heard the story before. I want
them to have a clear vision and understanding so other
men in that audience can say, dang, I'm doing that too,

(52:22):
let me fix that. So that's the only reason why
I'm challenging here, all right, So unpact this.

Speaker 5 (52:28):
So I wasn't vulnerable enough, right, So men, we get
taught to go out there and divide and conquer when
we leave our perspective homes, and we have to be
this strong person that doesn't have feelings and we don't
have fears, insecurities, hope streams and wishes that we want
to pursue. And sometimes we will put on a facade

(52:50):
for things that happened to us in.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
The past and try to overcome those things.

Speaker 5 (52:53):
So for me, I was always the underdog right coming
up through the educational system.

Speaker 4 (52:59):
I was a bit behind. I was a bit delayed.

Speaker 5 (53:01):
So my mother, being a single mother, a single strong
black woman, wouldn't take that finanswer. My mother tracked me
all over Houston for me to get caught up and
learn through where I could be in catch up with
my with my age group. And then in school and
counselors saying, you know what, I think he's an athlete
and he'll either go to school on a college basketball

(53:22):
scholarship or it needs to go to be a blue
collar and learn a trade.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
And my mother again, no, absolutely not. And then what
do they want to do.

Speaker 5 (53:29):
Back then put us on Ritland and all this kind
of ADHD medicine and things of that nature. So being
told that I wouldn't be successful in college, So now
you have this mindset, I got to prove you wrong,
and everything I do, I have to over extend myself
to prove people wrong. And then when you get in
your family, you start doing good. Then you start now
all of a sudden, now I'm the pedestal of the family.

(53:50):
Now I'm the first to go to college and the
athletic scholarship and then which I did go to college
and graduate with honors.

Speaker 4 (53:55):
So then I'm still trying to prove people.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
Give it up, give it up, don't just run by that. Yeah,
that's good, that's good, keep talking, king.

Speaker 5 (54:03):
So at that point you take on this persona as
I got everything figured out. And sometimes men we fall
into that trap when it's okay, especially if you have
a queen with you that can understand that you're not
always going to be perfect and I accept you as
you are. So that's kind of what the saying with
the eighty twenty. I need to acknowledge those things up front,
because sometimes men, we see you, we like you, like,

(54:26):
ooh she bad. I can't, man, I gotta give her
the whole thing. I gotta tell her everything that she
may want to hear and understand that you're just as sufficient.

Speaker 4 (54:34):
With what you truly, truly are.

Speaker 5 (54:36):
So that's kind of where I lost my way when
I was very very good enough just being and telling
who I was. So those were some things, some misconceptions,
some things I left out, and some things that I
lied by omission, right, And so for now, when I
talk to men it's like, bro, be okay, you're still

(54:57):
him regardless of your flaws. But we acknowledge those things,
don't run from it and try to act like we
got it all figured out because we don't. And then
once we figure that out, it's easier in life. I'm
so so much more peaceful now after I kind of
bear it all to the world what you know about.
But it was for not only me to release those shackles,

(55:18):
because that's really a whole lot of pressure, a whole
lot of pressure to try to pull people wrong. And
then sometimes now when you get to this certain pedestal,
now you continue with your life trying to prove people
right that you were right because I did all this stuff.
Now I'm gonna prove you right. And now I've already
gotten rid of the people that I proved wrong. And
it's never any cycle, and you never have any peace.
So that's was the biggest thing for me to have

(55:39):
to overcome.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
Yeah, beautiful, beautiful, give it up from y'all. And so
literally what it was, and this happens a lot that
as he speaks to men, is that they'll try to
front like they got more than what they really got.
They'll be on Instagram showing the fancy cars, showing all
that stuff and really don't have it like that. You know,

(56:01):
maybe behind four car notes, but you're showing that car
for the last month you got it, and so you
acting like you really got it going on. And so
what was so interesting that I found that it was
the most powerful revelation that I've seen on social media
for a man to have Rashid shared about all this
stuff that he had. He had nice cars, he had

(56:23):
all this stuff, and it wasn't he didn't really have
it like that, you know what I'm saying. He was struggling.
He was trying to give his ex fiance a dream
wedding when he knew he couldn't afford it, you know.
And I want more women to understand that that when
a man truly loves you, he'll try to go over
and beyond for you, but he know he ain't got
it like that. And it's because he has a fear

(56:46):
that you won't accept him if you if he told you,
I don't have it like that, like this wedding you're
trying to plan that maybe one hundred thousand dollars. I
got one hundred dollars on it all right, I got
one hundred dollars on this hundred thousand dollars wedding, and
and so we need to scale back. We need to
go to Golden Corral and treat the family to buffet.

(57:07):
That's all I got. But where you still marry me
in spite of all that, you know? Is like, that's
what men really want to do, is say here I am,
this is all I got. Do you still love me?
And it's interesting that we want that because in those
vows that we take, we say for better or for worse.
We say for richer or for poor, but nobody ever
imagines the poor moment. You know, when you take those vowels,

(57:29):
you always look like in your mind you say for richer,
for better, you know, for help, you know. But when
you take those vowels, you need to take those vowels
understanding those transitions between the good and the bad.

Speaker 5 (57:41):
And let me say, let me say, kind of the
piggyback off what you said, because with that, the men
that most of the women in here would want to
marry and see as their husbands, Even with that those deficiencies,
those men still want to be that leader. They still
want to be that provider. They still want to be
that protector. But sometimes where men we fall into place

(58:02):
we feel if we don't have all of that, we
can't be all of those things. And that's the problem
where we fall into. That's the trap that we get into,
and that's when we start lying and acting like we
have it all figured out when we don't. When this
woman will understand, especially if she sees you in the
place that you are and where you're going. Now, I'm

(58:22):
not talking about the brother sitting on the couch playing
the game all day. Y'all don't want that man anyway,
but the man.

Speaker 8 (58:27):
That you want.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Hold on, let me ask me, do y'all want that man?
Do y'all want? Okay, wett to ask.

Speaker 5 (58:31):
I gotta ask the man that you want that's working
hard and not trying to hurt anybody, trying to do
his best, trying to figure it out. We need to
accept we're okay with that, and then we'll accept where
the chips fall. If we find a beautiful woman, if
we be upfront and honest and say I got it
all figured out, but guess what, I'm on my way
there and I need to help me to help me
with that because at this end of the day, God

(58:53):
brought woman from here from our rear, right from our side,
not to be too far in front of us, not
to be too feign back. Yes, right here as a
helpmate on our side. So we need those things, but
we also have to come to it correctly.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
I love it. I love it. How many y'all are. Look,
y'all give it up for them, y'all are y'all wanting ready? Mamen?
Y'all understand the power of being a helpmate. Y'all understand
the power of that, because a lot of times you'll
feel like and I just hate what social media does
to our psyche. You see all this stuff on social
media where you were, you know, especially as a black culture,

(59:27):
we're arguing over fifty to fifty and one hundred and
all that nonsense that don't even makes sense if you
really listen to if you actually listen to your grandparents,
they wouldn't argue about no foolishness like that. They just wasn't,
you know. And so at the end of the day,
we're all supposed to be one team. When you get
married to that person, y'a are a team. And so
if you think of everything as a team. Then you

(59:49):
won't be arguing about fifty to fifty and one hundred
and it's like what And this has unpacked us real quick.
When do you expect to do with all your money?
If you working and I'm working and I'm supposed to
bepend all my money on all the bills, you just
gonna save all your money up until I die, and
then you're gonna ball out of control, Like what is that?
What is that? You're just keeping all your money for what?
That's not even fair. That's not a good partnership, you

(01:00:10):
know what I'm saying. That's not even partnership. It's like
it don't even make sense. But we argue about stuff
like that all day. And so we gotta understand that.
Don't let the devil trap us into foolishness. Because as
you're believing God for your purpose, partner, the stuff that
you are digesting, these these these social media reels that
you see in and you digest and you start saying,

(01:00:32):
that's what I want right now, I want that too.
I was watching a video today that this man gives
his wife one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for each
baby that she has y'all clap and see look at
you see led Astray deliverance. The altar is right here
for you. The altars. The altar is right here for you.
One hundred and fifty thousand dollars for each child that

(01:00:52):
he has. Like to do? What with it? One hundred
and fifty thousand dollars? It's like it's just and then
other men look at it and that now you want
one hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
Hey, I promise you is gonna be quiet.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
You you want a d dollars? Just hold on a set, okay,
go ahead, and I'm packed, Jessica.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Let me tell you something. I have three sons.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
Uh huh. That's four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
You just hold on, you just hold on, all right,
go ahead. I have three sons. Every single last one
of my pregnancies, I didn't use any medicine, and I
almost died my baby boy. I hmmhaged out so bad
that when he was two days oh, I flew the
sagon off so that my children will be with my
mama just in case I transition. That's how bad it

(01:01:35):
was for me having a child. It's not a dollar amount.
It's just value. It's not a matter of I need
a hundred like oh, in order to have your kid. No,
it's not that. It's thank you. I don't want this
is how you tell.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
Them about Yes, you be quiet over over there, look
at it goes right there.

Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
It's really it's it don't have to be that. It's
just the fact that you would do something. That's forget
something is here's something he got in like that. Here's
something is one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Another guy,
I got you this big old bouquet of flowers. Thank
you for acknowledging that life comes at a sacrifice. That's all.

(01:02:16):
So I hear you. I hear you. You was going
you know you was in it. I just want to
pull you back a little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:02:23):
That's good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
So it's not the dollar about you saying, just the
acknowledge that you want to you want to push present. Absolutely, Okay,
that's fine. I'm just saying one hundred and five thousand
dollars extreme, hey man, So listen, because it's like, where
the money going, what's you? What's what we're doing? We
just just put in your Account's the thing about it?
When I look at what you say, teachers, don't worry

(01:02:48):
about where the money went. Teacher said, don't worry about
where the money went?

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
All right, Well, then I will say this go ahead.
You know me, I believe that if if in a relationship,
if a woman is thinking about her man and that
man is thinking about her, all ends are covered. So
you're giving me, you given to yourself. I'm not storing money.

(01:03:17):
If y'all ever get a chance to read Proverbs thirty one,
this woman went and saw land, and she purchased it.
So it's like you given to yourself. So to even
have the mentality that anything you're putting in my hands
you're losing, is wrong. Off back, We are in the
wrong relationship because if we're really a team, babe, like
this is an US thing. Every dollar is our dollar.

(01:03:40):
I don't know if you'll run out, ain't you glad?
I got some Like look what I did with the
money you gave me. I just put it right here here,
bab Like, why you gotta be so negative? A terrrist,
That's all I'm asking. Why are you so pessimistic?

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Listen, listen, I just talked. So I just told my fiance.
I just told my fiance. My fiance like I said that.
Like I said that. So I told my fiance the
other day I sent her some money and she was like,
she was like, oh, you just sent that. I said,
just transferring accounts, I said, I look at it as
he's just going from my account to your account. It's

(01:04:18):
just it's all the same pot. So that's how I think.
I'm just saying when you talk, because on social media,
what happens is when you start putting videos like that out,
then people get the ideology that because their man can't
do one hundred and fifty thousand dollars because he had
six kids with her then, and then now he feels

(01:04:39):
less than a man because she's because that woman will
show that video. Look look at what he did right here.
It's that nice. You didn't give me one hundred and
fifty dollars. He gave her. So it starts making men
feel inferior. And I always watched the spirit of a thing,
and so what happens is is that I recognize that
there's a spiritual influence that's keeping black men and black

(01:05:00):
women divided by any means necessary. It's happening so much.
And so that's what I'm trying to eradicate. So it's
not a dollar amount what you say, So I'm sorry,
go ahead.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
What you have highlighted, though, is the disparity that a
woman whose man can do that, can she not celebrate
him for that?

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Well, it's not her doing it, it's him seeing the video.
It's him making the video. It's not like she's saying,
look at what she just says there silent and he
throwing money on it and doing it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
Can he not celebrate that he has the fact to
be able to praise his wife like that for the
gift that she has just given him. I mean, I
don't understand because if he has it, So the premise
of what what I've hearing you say is the premise
is that the issue is it's the one hundred and fifty thousand,

(01:05:50):
But to Bill Gates, one hundred and fifty thousand is nothing.
And so we don't know this man's bank account. So
while we count this man bank account and think it's
such an extravagant gift because to him and may the pennies,
but just because it's just because it's a lot to us,
So are we not supposed to what to say?

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
Something?

Speaker 6 (01:06:07):
Go yeah, I think I'm gonna get you back on
this one.

Speaker 4 (01:06:13):
I know That's why I got my guard ran. No.

Speaker 6 (01:06:23):
Look, I think that it's the spirit of it. It
shouldn't feel transactional. If I'm paying for a child like
a vending machine, that's weird. But if i'm but if
i'm I'm pouring love, whether it was our new child,

(01:06:46):
some of our wealth, or whatever that may be, it
is what it is. To your point, is just moving
from one pocket to the other, as long as it's
not transactional. But I think the question is, like, what
are we here for? Are we here to be each
other's number one fan or are we you know, playing
that game that I'm acting like I'm in the position
of number one fan, But I'm not really here for

(01:07:07):
you like that, bro. I just want to you know,
what do we you know? I think we just have
to be transparent and real with each other and.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
Not I'm never look at because I think what's the
deeper thing in what that calls out though, is that
you look at that as transactional because that's your lens
and so he may not look at that. So one
of the things I have to I'm six feet when
I walk into a room. I walk into a room.
And so when people say, oh, you're so intimidating, I'm
not intimidating. You are intimidated. That's your view. And so

(01:07:36):
you have to understand when it comes to social media,
you have to realize the construct of who you are
and how your mentality is of what you're viewing, because
that's not necessarily what someone is putting out there. That's
what you're reading into it. And those are two different things.

Speaker 4 (01:07:52):
And I'm not I guess no, please finish.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
No, I'm just saying, but we we put a lot
on others people, and we don't do the work to
check ourselves.

Speaker 4 (01:08:03):
I agree.

Speaker 6 (01:08:04):
I think I'm just stating from the fact of when
we see something happen in three seconds on our screen,
it feels it can come across transactional. We don't know
the whole spirit of what just happened. That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:08:21):
Well, shee, So I think two things.

Speaker 5 (01:08:23):
One, I think you're speaking to towards there's an expectation
of a gift of something of that nature. And I
think this whole push present is I mean, that's social
media generated in general. If we're even talking about the
word the premise is social media generated. Because my father
didn't give my mother a push present in the seventies,
but did he appreciate her and do something for her

(01:08:45):
that she well deserved.

Speaker 4 (01:08:46):
Sure, I'm sure he did and did I do the same.

Speaker 5 (01:08:49):
But at the same time, we're gonna keep it. Do
you want to keep it one hundred in here? Let's
say one hundred. There's not a lot of men in this,
but I wanna speak to the men to what you
said earlier about the money being made.

Speaker 4 (01:09:00):
And things of that nature. So you can speak to
your experience and you can speak to yours as well.

Speaker 5 (01:09:04):
But when you talk to other men that in a
circle of professional men who are doing well, sometimes men
feel like my money is our money and your money
is your money. And that's not that's a real thing.

Speaker 4 (01:09:17):
So that's the thing that we need to unpack and
have to talk about.

Speaker 5 (01:09:20):
Because when women and men disagree, that's okay. Women from
mars women for meness, that's fine. But at the same
time we need to get on some sort of common
ground because now it's changed from the battle of the sexiest.

Speaker 4 (01:09:31):
Oh that's kind of cute.

Speaker 5 (01:09:32):
Now it's a war between the sexiest, and that's not
good because I want to see black families and black
people come together and be married and then be able
to take on and do what the world has out
there for us.

Speaker 4 (01:09:40):
Right. So with that being said, sometimes we feel that way.

Speaker 5 (01:09:43):
Sometimes we feel that And women, y'all can tell me
if I'm wrong. You were bought, you were taught and
raised to have a little something on the side, keeping
something for the rain to day, keep something for that
man messes up, keep something this.

Speaker 4 (01:09:53):
That and the third. So I gotta call some cap
on that like y'all clapping ha hahakikiki.

Speaker 5 (01:09:58):
But y'all have been talked to that some and men
feel that way. Men feel our money. I mean, my
money is ours and yours is yours.

Speaker 3 (01:10:05):
We do okay, thank you, I feel you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:09):
I've got you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:12):
Now Here's how I feel about it, and it's just
my my individual emotions. The thing is, men, y'all are
beautiful by the way, I'm attracted to men. Okay, So
everything I'm about to say it, I don't know this
me too moving, y'all. I love man. Y'all are beautiful.

(01:10:32):
So the thing is, because in the slave days you
all were breeded. You have so many attractions. You have,
so your eyes are so wandery. Women are very observant
of that. Now, while you're coming from a pure place,
a woman can see how immature you are. But you're

(01:10:53):
in your skin. You don't know what she looking at.
You don't know she's been equipped to see you beyond
where you are, where you're supposed to be, where she
can take you. You have it, that's her superpower, that
is her gift. So she looking at you, and your
natural things are happening. A woman walk past you. She's
paying attention to this. So what looks like, what looks

(01:11:17):
like selfishness, is really like, am I gonna fight for this?
Because I'm watching his process? He don't even know. I'm
seeing little details. He's showing me what we're about to
be like. Now, I can either pick this fight. I
could call it out. You're gonna tell me I'm wrong
because I know his emotional intelligence. All right, I'm gonna

(01:11:37):
chuck it. But here's what I'm gonna do. I gotta
be wise. A woman has so many factors to incorporate
when she is thinking about a man. Because you all
are beautiful, but you are in process, just like we are.
It's different processes. How you are processed. We can see
how we process you can see. It's respect on both sides.

(01:11:58):
I just think that if a woman till my beautiful
sister's point, you don't know our bodies and the transition
of life to life and the sacrifice of being one
with something and it being taken out of your body.
It's not an expectation of money. But do you not

(01:12:20):
understand what just happened. Your legacy is here, like your
namesafe is here, your continuation is here. I am forever
etched in your life. Look what I did for you.
You telling me you're just gonna say, oh right, that's ours. Nah, baby,
I had this one for ten months. I had him,

(01:12:42):
and now this is about to be cultivated everything you.
I'm gonna make sure he's completely infused with you. I
need your family line to be good. I need your
grandparents to be proud. I'm about to infuse this baby
with you, and you tell him you can't give me
no flowers. Yeah, Yes, I have high expectations.

Speaker 4 (01:13:01):
One.

Speaker 3 (01:13:02):
I think that is wrong for any woman not to
challenge a man to continue to arise to his greatest self. Yes,
expect greatness from me. Expect me to take care of you.
Expect that why you think I'm here. Absolutely, I'm about
to take care of you, about to be good, But
I expect me to be good too. Don't make me

(01:13:23):
feel bad for expecting that. Go ahead, go ahead, talk,
you're talking, so go ahead.

Speaker 5 (01:13:32):
There's a lot of words salad, because we went from
talking about men feeling our money is your money, Your
money is yours. Then back to the childbirth where I said,
it's definitely something that a man should pour into a woman.

Speaker 4 (01:13:48):
He brings his legs. You right, but.

Speaker 5 (01:13:51):
Then you would you equated that with paying attention to
a man who's his wandering eye.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
No, no, no again, this is another one. Do you see
this moment? We just had to tell you. That's what
I heard.

Speaker 4 (01:14:08):
That's what I heard.

Speaker 5 (01:14:09):
I heard you, okay, I heard you bring your point
to saying what you have to observe men because men
are naturally wired like this.

Speaker 3 (01:14:19):
I don't have to I just do this is this.

Speaker 4 (01:14:23):
Is a gift.

Speaker 5 (01:14:24):
So meanwhile, you said you observe men while you say
you love men, right, but while observing Michael.

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
Says, you're cautious.

Speaker 5 (01:14:34):
Sorry, you're saying that you're cautious while you observe them.
And that's why you may hold back and be more cautious,
because what I was talking about is women saving things
rainy day type stuff because she's never sure if this
is going to work out. And based off of that,
you said how men are naturally wired and you see
how this man.

Speaker 3 (01:14:52):
Makely No, that's not what I said.

Speaker 4 (01:14:54):
Okay, Please, I have no problem.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
Reiterating into your point. You covered both. You covered the
baby side of things. I want to address that, so
I hope you didn't merge all of them together, but
I got you. So, So when it comes to when
it comes to how you position the statement of ladies,
let's be real, y'all been taught to stash some when

(01:15:18):
you come from that point. That's why I drove the
point of women have the ability to observe. That is
our natural gift. So if you find a woman and
she tucking away, if she's actually a good woman, she's
just observed some things. That's not all situations and circumstances.

(01:15:39):
This woman is looking at a good man and so
now she's saving it for a rainy day. My baby
working hard, Bay, I got this money over here. He
don't even know it. But I'm a surprise him with something.
So it's a matter of what she's seeing. It's how
she's gonna use whatever it is, her auntie, her uncle,
you know. That's all. That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 12 (01:16:00):
No, I get it.

Speaker 4 (01:16:00):
No, no, it's great.

Speaker 5 (01:16:01):
But you did you not mention when you said a
man will observe and yeah, wait, I'm sorry, while you're
observing a man, right and if he looks and a
woman passes by, did you not mention something of that nature.

Speaker 3 (01:16:16):
As an example that a woman, a woman can be
paying attention to a natural state of a man, just
seeing something beautiful for her, for her.

Speaker 5 (01:16:25):
State of a man. So you're saying, that's natural for
a man to do. So that's what I'm asking.

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
I think this is fantastic.

Speaker 4 (01:16:35):
Because I heard you say it's natural for a man.

Speaker 3 (01:16:40):
It's fantastic. I don't think it's no, no, no, no,
that's what we got. We got. We got this twenty
five year old, amazing king right here. I agree, who
has already surrounded himself a good counsel, who has prepared
the way for his mind to already be in position
so that he can be successful in his endeavor with
this woman. This is all what your point proven right here.

(01:17:01):
What I'm saying is generationally it is in the blood.
It is in the blood for there to be certain
personality traits to come out. Now, as you already said,
you had done the work, what is this work. There's
challenges throughout your upbringing that you have had to do
the works in order to be on ready to love.

(01:17:22):
That's everybody's journey. However, everybody don't take that journey the
same way. If you decide to prematurely get with a
woman before you go through your own journey, your own shedding,
your pruning, if that happens, and this woman is brave
enough to take you up on herself, even if she's
done the work. If this happens, she has to watch you.

(01:17:46):
If you want her to help, she has to watch you.
She has to pay attention to details. She got to
be in there. If you want the help, if you
could do it yourself, you would, So here she is,
and she's fully equipped. This is a natural thing.

Speaker 8 (01:18:04):
We have.

Speaker 3 (01:18:05):
We looking at everything, We hear things. That's not said.
We got two ears, two eyes too. No, we're smelling everything.
So we're just paying attention We're looking at you in
your natural state of being, and it just so happened
that your hangup is a big budd She like, there,
he go, what I'm about to do with that? Then
he go looking okay, either I'm going to address it.

(01:18:31):
But now I got to see if he even know
he doing that, because now this is a potential for
you to downgrade and invalidate my feelings and my experience.
Do I want that? Some women still want that when
you get older. I don't want that. I don't want
to argue with you. I'm watching you. Do I want
to take this challenge on or not? That's my choice.

(01:18:52):
Do I want to do this? And that's all I'm saying.
I don't mean no harm. You kept bringing up I like, man, Yeah,
I appreciate me. I am not a man hater. No
me here, you guys are great game.

Speaker 4 (01:19:02):
I don't know, and I love this type of dialogue.

Speaker 5 (01:19:06):
But I think more men and women need to have
these things because we do have different opinions in different
thought processes. That's what makes us unique. At the end
of the day. What I'm saying is those things, and
then what we hear in a group of primary primarily women,
we hear certain things and we hear yes girl, yes girl,
yes girl.

Speaker 4 (01:19:24):
But most women in here want a man, so we're
not that bad. And that's all I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:19:30):
So for men, we need to fix what we have
to work on to be there and present and be
the right man for that woman when she comes along,
and once we present ourselves.

Speaker 1 (01:19:38):
Absolutely absolutely, thank you y'all giving up for this is
and I allow that to go on because I want
to hear could they get to a place of resolution?
Could you get to a place accepting the differences? Because
what happens in conversations like that sometimes you can get
too heated. You know, y'all may have experienced that talking

(01:19:59):
to your significant others where it gets too he didn't
y'all get mad and hang up the phone on each other.
But it should be a place where y'all could have
a conversation, hear each other out, and even if you
don't agree, you agree to disagree and be like, all right,
well that's cool. You know what I'm saying. I love
intelligent conversation like that, So thank y'all for displaying that
right in front of us. I appreciate that. Pastor King,

(01:20:25):
how did you meet Nicole. Lady Nicole, No, I ain't
gonna ask you. I'm gonna ask lady the cold lady, Nicole,
how did y'all get here?

Speaker 2 (01:20:38):
Okay, so I'll go all the way back. We knew
each other in middle school and high school. He was
an upper classman, so we actually met. I think I
was in sixth grade. Were in seventh grade or seventh
grade and eighth grade. We didn't like each other, and
then we.

Speaker 1 (01:20:52):
Went on to y'all like each other.

Speaker 2 (01:20:55):
We didn't know each other. We didn't know each other. Okay, okay,
so you're right. We didn't each other in middle schools.

Speaker 8 (01:21:01):
We didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:21:03):
We got to know each other in high school. And
that's because he played football and I was in drill teams,
so we would travel, would be at all the games together,
so we knew of each other. We would speak, and
that was it.

Speaker 4 (01:21:15):
Hearing for me all my life.

Speaker 2 (01:21:19):
Yeah, so that was many many years ago, and probably
what was at two thousand and sixteen, he slid right
in my DM.

Speaker 3 (01:21:34):
That's what he did.

Speaker 4 (01:21:38):
The Lord created dms for a reason.

Speaker 2 (01:21:41):
And this is what he said. He said, you're not
the same Nicole I remember from high school.

Speaker 4 (01:21:47):
Hold on what that means post boy.

Speaker 11 (01:21:49):
Let me tell you. So middle school and high school.
You know, she was a little skinny something tall. She
was cute, but you know, I try to go cute,
little heathen in ways. I didn't want to corrupt the
you know, a little young que doesn't. I'm gonna leave
our Lord. We'll let him make it right. So you know,
through all the years, you know, so we never you know,

(01:22:10):
I knew our friends and and think of that nature.
But you know, we got older. The Lord had blessed,
I saw, I saw the heavenless. I saw, I saw
God had done some great things in her life. So
and so uh yeah, so I mean I just checked it,

(01:22:30):
checked it out, saw and I was like, yeah, that's
the Lord that's filled it in places. He's a feeling god.
He knows what the Lord of myself, you know what
I want?

Speaker 4 (01:22:41):
All right? So that that's what.

Speaker 11 (01:22:43):
That means from an external person, because we didn't know
each other, and so it was, you know, knowing eachthing
like that.

Speaker 4 (01:22:49):
We knew each other.

Speaker 11 (01:22:50):
But and so then getting to talk to her and
have conversation that that increased that.

Speaker 1 (01:22:55):
Yeah, so go ahead, and so what do you think
when he slid in your DMS. What did he say?

Speaker 2 (01:22:59):
Okay, so he said you're not the same the color
I remember, I think from biology or science or something
like that. And then he said, hey, can we you know,
can we be friends? That's exactly what he said.

Speaker 1 (01:23:11):
So when he's hold on, let me go back and
into I gotta get the translation of that from a man.
When you said be friends, what you mean by being friends?

Speaker 4 (01:23:20):
I didn't say be friends.

Speaker 11 (01:23:23):
She remembers that I would go back and find them DMS.

Speaker 14 (01:23:27):
No.

Speaker 4 (01:23:27):
I think one of the things was.

Speaker 11 (01:23:31):
I was interested in getting to know her because where
I was in my journey, I knew what I wanted, right,
So I'm not finna one go on your DMS one
because I already knew who she was. So it was
a safy thing. You know, people today they won't put
all your DMS on everything. You can't even get to
know nobody because they so be the trying to make
money off of you, out you so you can't go

(01:23:53):
in with some crazy person. So I felt safe enough
to do that, And some men won't do that. If
you ain't got none to lose, you just out here reckless.

Speaker 4 (01:24:03):
Right.

Speaker 11 (01:24:03):
I was intentional because I had studied her for a while,
I understood her situation, and I became safe enough because
I watched her social media before I ever approached her
about it, and that told me some things about her
that she's a safe enough person for me to approach.

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
That's good, that's good.

Speaker 11 (01:24:26):
And so that led me to, all right, let me
get a deeper look into who she is. I'm excited
about what she looks like. But I you know, I
was forty one, forty two. I'd seen Fine, I'd been
with Fine all my life. That wouldn't I ain't choose
no snacker tuos at bugle Wolf's all right, so I

(01:24:46):
can go back in my history.

Speaker 4 (01:24:47):
I have no issues with that. So surface is fine.

Speaker 11 (01:24:52):
I was at a point in my life I need
somebody to walk with, right, So I didn't need a project.

Speaker 4 (01:25:00):
I needed a partner.

Speaker 11 (01:25:02):
And so when I studied her, it gave me the
reason to go ahead. And so I just wanted to
get to know her, have dialogue with her, and talk
with her a while before we even saw each other
in person.

Speaker 4 (01:25:16):
But that's what we discussed. So that's kind of what
that meant is, Hey, let's get to know each other.

Speaker 1 (01:25:22):
And so how what did you think of that moment?
So clearly you were open to it, right or were
you not open to it? Where were you at in
your mind? Nicole?

Speaker 2 (01:25:31):
I was very nervous because you know, this is Pastor King,
but I knew him as Marcus King, and so I
was I was so nervous that I just wanted to
chat with him a messenger. I need to want to
talk to him on the phone, because I was extremely
intimidated because it's not the same guy. He's intelligent, not
that I'm not intelligent.

Speaker 3 (01:25:50):
And.

Speaker 2 (01:25:55):
He's a pastor, right, he's a pastor. So I was
highly entamed, intimidated, and I didn't want to talk to
my Tha was scared. So he said, this is not
the way I want to communicate with you through messenger,
but if this is what I can get, you know, okay,
let's let's just go with it. And so he's I
think he sent me his number. I didn't call, and

(01:26:17):
I sent him my number and he called, and so
and so we chatted for a few days and within
a week because we knew each other, because I felt safe,
he came to pick me up and we went out
on a date. Yeah, I remember they came to pick
me up, and literally that was like the happily ever

(01:26:37):
after because when he came in, he shut whatever I
was doing, he shut it down, completely shut it down.

Speaker 3 (01:26:44):
He was so intentional.

Speaker 2 (01:26:45):
It could be a Friday night I could do with
my friends, like what you're doing, and I'm like, well
I'm here, Oh I was.

Speaker 1 (01:26:50):
I want to see you.

Speaker 2 (01:26:51):
So now because I'm interested, I'm wrapping up whatever it
is I'm doing so I can meet with him as exactly. So,
cause he was intentional, he wasn't playing. I never felt
the games with him, and that was scary because a
lot of times women don't get that directness. Because he
was able to tell me immediately what he wanted, what

(01:27:14):
his purpose was, what God told him, He told me
all of this. So so he just came and I
don't care what I said to him, because I you know,
I had been married and divorced, very broken, and I
really thought God brought him into my life to help
me through what I had just emotionally come out of,

(01:27:35):
not knowing that he was going to be my husband. Yeah,
so that's what I thought at first. But I'm saying
that to say whatever I said to him, my sad story,
which was true. It did not run him off. And
I mean I told him everything everything. Nobody can come
tell him anything about me that he does not already know,

(01:27:56):
because that's how you live in your truth and you
do not have to avoid conversations and people. I laid
everything on the table, and all he said was I
ain't scared of it, That's all he said. I'm not
scared of at I'm like, okay. So you know, we dated.
We started reading books.

Speaker 1 (01:28:14):
Excuse me.

Speaker 2 (01:28:15):
We started reading books every Thursday. I think it was.
We would go to different yeah, Jason's Deli and Mansfeld
lived in Mansfeld at the time, and we would read together.
I'd beat a chapter, he'd beat a chapter. We go
to the bookstore. It was just something different that I
had never ever experienced. So he changed my mind because

(01:28:38):
I didn't want to get married again. I didn't. I say,
you know, it's gonna be my children. We just gonna
hang out and hang out with my girlfriends. I made date,
but it's not gonna be anything serious. And he came
and he like intentionally, he was so intentional with me
that he changed my mind. And then I just fell
in love with the person that he is and how

(01:28:59):
he accept to me flaws and all, yeah, falls and all.

Speaker 1 (01:29:04):
So were there moments where you were trying to sabotage
the relationship? Lady? Were there moments where you tried to
sabotage the relationship? He's coming with intentionality. You said you
didn't even want to be married, so you said he
had to change your mindset to even desire marriage again,
you had three kids, right, you had three kids at

(01:29:25):
the time. So now you got a transition if you
take on this, this intentionality he's given you. Wow, Okay,
now this is going to I have to introduce my
kids to this man, and he's a pastor. It's a
whole lot of transition that your mind has to go
through put you in the position of being the first lady.
So how did you reconcile that? Were you trying to

(01:29:48):
sabotage relationship before it got there? And what that looked like?

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
Well, I think I was kind of just telling him
how it felt and that I was nervous. That was
that was more afraid than anything than sabotaging the situation.
I was just afraid, I really was. And once I researched,
because I hadn't seen him what twenty something years. I
may have seen him at a wedding. I may have
seen him at a funeral and passing we would say hello,

(01:30:14):
that was it. But I just did not feel like
I was good enough to marry a pastor. That's just
what it was. And I even told him that, I'm like,
I listen, I've been married, have three kids. You know,
I don't know that's it. I'm scared, and he was.
He just talked me through it. He just was really
good with talking and listening, and he made me comfortable,

(01:30:36):
and he just reminded me of who I am. That
you can't even see what God has put in you,
is what he said to me. You can't even see that.
And I couldn't. I couldn't see it. So he just
was really good through a really really dark time for me,
and I appreciate it so much.

Speaker 1 (01:31:01):
Yeah, Pastor King, how did you deal with that? What
made you say that's it? I ain't scared of that?
What made you? What made you think like that? When
it came to her, Well.

Speaker 11 (01:31:13):
It wasn't even just her initially, right, I was in
a place in my life and as you know, actually
just on Tuesday, I've been preaching thirty two years, right,
I've been in ministry thirty two years.

Speaker 1 (01:31:25):
Give it up, y'all, thirty two years.

Speaker 11 (01:31:28):
I grew up, you know, in the pastores home my
father and mother. Before my father passed in twenty thirteen,
they were on a way of making forty six years
a marriage. So I had seen marriage. My grandparents have
been married almost sixty years.

Speaker 4 (01:31:44):
Right.

Speaker 11 (01:31:45):
So marriage is what I always wanted, but I respected
it enough not to just jump in one.

Speaker 4 (01:31:54):
And I think that's what the deal was.

Speaker 11 (01:31:56):
So I spent my time dedicating myself to living a
life of intentionality. But I would not There were churches
that would come to me that wanted me to just
get married so I could pass to their church.

Speaker 4 (01:32:12):
I'm like, I gotta live with that woman, and you're.

Speaker 11 (01:32:16):
Gonna talk about it. You're gonna talk about me if
it don't work. You see what I'm saying. And it's
a lot of churches. And that's what you know. The
generation we grew up in, even before people were just
getting married and people wonder why a lot of pastors
are getting divorced or a lot of cheatings going on
because it was a business transaction. I grew up and
I saw a real love. I saw a real relationship.

(01:32:39):
I wasn't interested in a business transaction and I wasn't
gonna do that. So I took the time and waited
on God, and I dated some wonderful people, went through
different things, And all I would say is, at that
point in my life, I was clear for a while
on what I wanted, but I still had to wait

(01:33:00):
on God to give the clearance. Because just because you
say you're ready doesn't mean God says it's time. And
I want his time, his will, his way. So when
you know I was a single man, and it's like
the you know, the whole opposite of what everybody tried
to say.

Speaker 4 (01:33:18):
Whatever. I was a single man. I had my own.

Speaker 11 (01:33:23):
House, have my own card, everything in my name. I got,
had degrees, I written books. I was passion at the time.
I was traveling around the world. I would travel to
places by myself. I had a lot going on just
as a single man, no kids, and so to be
in space, in that space, I could make whatever decision

(01:33:45):
I wanted to make. I wasn't dating out of desperation.
I was dating because I knew God, this is where
I wanted to be and I did not just date everybody. Now,
of course, because I was single that long. I was
engaged to people I never met. I'm still I'm still
trying to find out some of these people I was

(01:34:07):
engaged to.

Speaker 4 (01:34:09):
I was dating. I was dating people I never met.
All right.

Speaker 11 (01:34:13):
I had children. I had a baby with with a woman.
This was a conversation going on with a in a
beauty salon. I had a baby. I had a special
needs child. I wasn't taking care of my child child
and the child was in a stroller, you know, at
the move child around. I have all kinds of weird stuff.

(01:34:35):
I had seven women that was supposed to be God
told them I'm their spouse. Uh, and they all knew
each other. And I didn't know how that was gonna
work out. But I liked the concept. Lord, if it's
your will, all right, now, I'm talking about this this
whole train preacher, a preacher, un or everyone. So we

(01:35:00):
just keep it reading around that, right, So when you
talk about that, man, it's just a lot that goes on,
and a lot of people are hearing God, and you
ain't hearing none of that that they're saying. So when
it came to marriage of course I'm single. I got
opes and I can do what I want to do
single woman, build a life together, start with kids, grow

(01:35:24):
a legacy, continue the king name. That's what I desired
to have, and I desired to do that younger. But
my surrender to what God wanted. I had opportunities to
be married. They want what God wanted for me, and

(01:35:44):
my picture of what I wanted wasn't what I needed.
I needed somebody in my life because I'm a person
I can look back at all my life and I
can see God never puts me in easy situations because
I get bored, and so I needed someone who had

(01:36:06):
worked through something, who had gone through some wars, who
would be less judgmental of me, because the world and
the church is already judging me, and they love judging
preachers because we up here it's a whole lot of judgment.
I needed somebody who had been through some stuff and
understand and had that sensitivity where it was going to

(01:36:27):
be combative. And so single women, no kids, had stuff together,
all that was there. Why would I choose somebody with
a divorce and three children. And I'm at the age
at that point where if I marry you it's a

(01:36:48):
risk that you might not even be able to have
my child. And that was a piece that I had
to say, Okay, God, but if it's you, I'll do it.

Speaker 4 (01:37:02):
And when I.

Speaker 11 (01:37:03):
Tell you, you know, And we have never talked about the
other piece. I don't know if you will talk about
it all right. When we when we got married, I
desired a child and have a child, because she already
had three in her own I think we were forwarded
you were forty two.

Speaker 4 (01:37:20):
Would it happened? Yeah, so I was forty three to
forty two.

Speaker 11 (01:37:25):
And people never know what we're dealing with while we're
helping other people teach. We wanted children, to a child together.
She actually got pregnant and then she had a miscarriage.
And when I saw the pain she was in when

(01:37:47):
I when I saw my wife on the floor and
the baby didn't come out all at once, it was
days that it had to come out of her. And
when I sat in that hospital room with her and
I saw the pain she was in, I said, we

(01:38:08):
ain't got to do this.

Speaker 4 (01:38:10):
You're all I need.

Speaker 11 (01:38:12):
I take the kids. I'll take I'll take the kids.
God has blessed us with love them. I'm just gonna
trust God for the rest, because at the end of
the day, I just want to be in his will
and that I never wanted to put her in that position.

(01:38:35):
And I know she wanted to give me kids, and
I want the kids, but you first.

Speaker 4 (01:38:42):
And as I got you, I'm all right. Does it?

Speaker 11 (01:38:49):
Does it come to my mind sometimes to see one
of little me running around you?

Speaker 4 (01:38:53):
Yeah, that goes there.

Speaker 11 (01:38:55):
But I think there's a point in your life where
you have to recognize and realize that sometimes you know,
God would turn on another parting you. And I love
those children like they were my own children. Matter of fact,
my youngest son. Everybody think we had that baby before
because he was looking just like me. We are pretty much,

(01:39:18):
I mean the same. I'm actually an introvert. People don't
believe that, but she could tell you I'm actually introvert.

Speaker 4 (01:39:28):
I can go home. I'll be by myself.

Speaker 11 (01:39:29):
People think about I'll be aware when I'm finished with y'all.
I've had my negro quot shit for today.

Speaker 1 (01:39:37):
I go home.

Speaker 11 (01:39:39):
I'm watching the Shy, I'm watching Papa right. I'm chilling
right because that's why I do it. I'm with her.
Tonight is date night. Ever since we've been together. It's
be nine years coming up. We have dated every single
Friday night. Because before I got married, Before I got

(01:40:03):
married Latian's, I would pray every Thursday for my wife.
There were characteristics I want and I wanted her to
be healthy.

Speaker 4 (01:40:14):
I wanted her to be whole.

Speaker 11 (01:40:15):
I want her to be beautiful externally and internally. I
wanted her to be at peace. I wanted her to
have her own relationship with God. I wanted her to
and I also prayed, God give me somebody that I
can know how to support her in her journey. When
we got married, I kept that date and I still

(01:40:38):
pray intentionally for I pray for every day, but I
have that day still slated just for her. I love
it every Friday. It's just for her and so to
do this. So that's kind of the whole journey piece.
I mean, because I realized aftter watching my parents. After working,
I counseled so many peace people through the years, and

(01:41:02):
I just recognized it's a lot of people that's given
the second person what they should have given the first
if they'd have slowed down. And I'm like, I'd rather
get married later so I can love healthier longer.

Speaker 1 (01:41:17):
You better teach, you better teach, and I want to
come back to the people you counseled. But I want
to ask, Lady Nicole, give words to the tears that
you were.

Speaker 2 (01:41:26):
Shedding, because I do believe that God will give you
another chance at love. That's where the tears come from,
because I was I was broken from my first marriage
and I was afraid to get married. I was afraid
to bring anyone around my children or my family. I
just didn't want to go through it again. And it

(01:41:48):
was really just protecting myself from being hurt. So anything
in the beginning with which may have looked or sounded
like I was pushing him away, it was just a
protection because I was afraid, So let me protect me.
You know, I know him, he's a pastor, you know
he was you know, we're in school together, but I
don't know him and I need to protect my heart.

(01:42:10):
And so that's basically where those tears come from. And
just know that even after heartbreak in a marriage, God
can bless you better and give you back everything that
you have ever lost. I promise you he can and
he will. So that's where a lot of those tears
have come from.

Speaker 11 (01:42:26):
Can I say this about that, And going back to
the question you asked about why I wasn't I afraid
of it? When I sat with her and I talked
with her, I saw and I listened. I like listening
to people's stories because sometimes you can judge a person
or you got to keep your two kids and three
kids and you divorced and s y z. But what's

(01:42:51):
your story? Because because if you had a different space
to work in, what that story have been different? Or
have you learned from your story and it's created you
to be the person that you are now? And what

(01:43:11):
is my assignment in your life? Because my assignment may
not be be to your husband because we still have
to have that clarity on what is this supposed to
be right? And I'm praying because I'm want to listen
to God to every step. I want God to order
my steps and my stops. It's like, let's go this far,
let's cut that off.

Speaker 1 (01:43:30):
This is where order your steps and your stops.

Speaker 4 (01:43:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (01:43:34):
So I saw her, and and the reason that I
fell in love with her is because I recognize she
was just trying to survive her entire life. And what
I'm good at is helping people thrive, and I recognized
I was equipped for her. And if you're talking about

(01:43:59):
it helped meet, she didn't have a whole lot financially
to give me at the time. She didn't have a
whole lot of time wise because she's trying to handle stuff.
So when we start talking about help meets, a lot
of times we talk about a person who you know,
talking about you know equally equallyoak. You know, you gotta

(01:44:20):
have this job, you gotta have this kind of money,
you gotta have this.

Speaker 4 (01:44:23):
She didn't have all that.

Speaker 11 (01:44:24):
How she gonna be help me because she taught me
how to love from her perspective, and she showed me
what love looked like to her, how she loves her children.
And I also knew that she had been through pain
and I had to help her understand. Of course, I'm

(01:44:48):
not who you were dating or who you were married.
I meet, and I knew I would have to be
patient that part. But I had another in my emotional
spiritual bank account that I knew she wouldn't bankrupt me.

(01:45:10):
So so I knew because of you know, my relationship
with God, and plus I had been equipped all the
things and all the people I counseled all things that
I've gone through, all the relationship I've been through. It
was preparing me to handle anything she came with. And

(01:45:31):
I was at peace with that because then I knew
I ain't worried about it. I got a house big enough,
or I could move your kids in and your mama
if we need to, because I did that while I
was single. I can listen to you. We can, we
can whatever you have. There's a plan we could make

(01:45:52):
for good. And that's kind of what we've been doing.

Speaker 4 (01:45:56):
She didn't.

Speaker 11 (01:45:57):
She didn't, uh, and she may want to say whatever
when she when we got together, she hadn't finished her
Uh what.

Speaker 4 (01:46:05):
Was the career? Yep, you put the mic up. Just
tell me tell that story, tell that part.

Speaker 2 (01:46:09):
Okay, yeah, yeah. So when after I think it was
maybe six months after he got married, and I said, well,
I want to go back to school. I want to
I want to finish something. I want to do it,
one for myself and one for my kids, and one
when I tell my story that it's never too late
to go back to college and get your education. And
so I finished. I went to Jarvis Christian College. At

(01:46:32):
the time, yes, HPC you at the time, it was
at Friendship West when I started, and now I think
it's in Red Bird. Uh yeah, in Redbird now. So
I finished that about a year and I said, okay,
So he said, what you don't do now? He didn't
care if I went to school or not, he said,
And I'm all he said was to me, if you start,

(01:46:54):
we don't finish. We're going to finish. You're not gonna quit.
That's all he said.

Speaker 1 (01:46:58):
Do this for you.

Speaker 2 (01:46:59):
I hope you not doing it for me. And of
course I'm doing it for me because I wanted to
finish something, you know, let me finish something. So once
I did that, and I said, well, I think I
want to get my master's in Family Christian counseling. And
he said, where'd that come from? Ain't you talk of
our family Christian counseling. But I heard the Lord say
that to me. He said, you need to go ahead

(01:47:21):
and go. I'm like, okay, everything just lined up. I started.
I think I finished that in about two years. Told
the bachelor's was twenty twenty and my master's was the
close of twenty twenty four. Yeah, the close of twenty
twenty four. So that was a high achievement. But again

(01:47:43):
It was nothing to do with him other than you know,
he paid for me to finish school.

Speaker 11 (01:47:50):
Yeah, but pers we wasn't doing no loans, so I
paid total that so when you were in there, yeah,
we paid. I went to college and I was blessed
to have a scholarship when I played football in sam Houston.

Speaker 4 (01:48:04):
I didn't have any debt from that. That's good.

Speaker 11 (01:48:06):
So we went't fin to have that debt. Plus you
had a nice little wed and that that we had
to pay.

Speaker 4 (01:48:11):
For it absolutely beautiful. Yeah we had a wed.

Speaker 11 (01:48:13):
Yeah, yeah, so hallelujah. All right, So we wanted to
make sure. That's why I say, hey, if we start,
we're gonna finish. We're not doing all that, but I'm
gonna push you to be what you what God did
you feel that, what do.

Speaker 2 (01:48:29):
You want to do? Don't do this for me? So
that was another piece. It didn't matter to him, he said,
what are you gonna do? I didn't marry you for
you to go to school, for you for me to
change anything that you're doing. That's not why I married you.
So that pushed me, and he pushed me to be
a better meeting to get my education. So that's the
kind of story on that piece. But yeah, he just

(01:48:51):
accepted me just where I was.

Speaker 1 (01:48:53):
And see, I like that. See a lot of times.
It was a real that I shared earlier this week
where this young lady I was doing the podcast, said
Tasha Cobbs Church, and she said that she didn't believe
she was worthy to get a husband because she has
a special need, special needs daughter, and she says, she
don't believe that a man wild Like love that, and
I love the fact that here you are with three

(01:49:14):
kids and you found the king that says your kids
are my kids. And so I respect that. I hope
a lot of y'all are being encouraged by that, because
I hate to hear women count themselves out saying, ain't
no man gonna want my kids or whatnot. The godly
man will because your kids will become his kids and

(01:49:35):
he has to look at it like that, and vice versa.
A lot of men who have kids same mindset. A
lot of women be like, well, I don't want I
want to be the first person that had your kids.
He's like, we already got two, so you know that's
out of question. So you can think it in your
head you be the first one. I had kids with
in twenty twenty five. Okay, but you ain't the first,
so you just got to reconcile that. And so I

(01:49:57):
know that I love the fact that you loved her
and you didn't you said something that was so powerful
and healing. And again I didn't even know that was
your story. But it's interesting the story that I shared
about my goddaughter whose boyfriend while she was miscarrying their kid,
made her feel like she was just worthless. And then

(01:50:18):
here you are saying, I don't want to ever see
you go through that. You know what you are enough,
You are enough. I want that to speak to the
people in this audience right now that you are enough.
Every man, you are enough. Every woman, you are enough.
And as Rashid said early, he had to get to
a place in his life where he was enough. You

(01:50:40):
know you hear that common thread through even Schaniku when
she said that just getting to a place where whatever
it is, however you showed up, whatever cars that the
Lord dealt you. You look back today and say, you
know what, I'm enough, I'm worthy. And the minute that
you received that space, the more that you'll be able
to manifest things in your life and bring people in
your life that's supposed to be in your life and

(01:51:00):
they're supposed to stay because it starts with you believing
that you are enough. And so I just I love
that y'all shared that. I really love and Jessica, you're
gonna get you a husband that's gonna accept yo. All
your kids, all your many kids that you have, They're
gonna accept all your little bad kids. They're gonna accept them.
I'm believing that in the spirit that you're gonna give

(01:51:22):
a father for those kids and they're gonna take care
of them. May bad, they real bad.

Speaker 3 (01:51:27):
I wasn't gonna talk about that. Hen I saw your
Instagram order feet that you posted earlier today. Y'all see
his instagram? Did y'all see here? It showed us these
and tones. By the way, I talk about my children.

Speaker 1 (01:51:42):
Right, They're amazing, They're actually amazing.

Speaker 4 (01:51:44):
I love them.

Speaker 1 (01:51:45):
I love them, except the little young one, A little
young one bad. Hakeem is bad, he bad, he bad.
He need a whooping. He need a good whooping, a
real good whooping. But now I love your kids. Listen,
I want to go around before we open up the
audience to ask questions. I want y'all all to talk
about what is the greatest thing you're looking forward to,
the greatest transition you're looking forward to. I'm gonna start

(01:52:09):
with you, Tyres. I probably want to sing when I
say your name. I don't know what that is. That
is crazy, just seen, go ahead, Tyres.

Speaker 4 (01:52:22):
For me, it would be probably marriage.

Speaker 9 (01:52:24):
Marriage, That'll probably be the greatest transition, becoming a father,
and but also just figuring out where I want to
take my life, getting to the end, not the end
of the transition, just figuring out, you know, this is
what I want to do, this is who I want
to be as far as a career goes, because I
still haven't figured that out all the way. And so

(01:52:44):
probably those three things I would say all put in
put in one.

Speaker 4 (01:52:47):
Good good.

Speaker 2 (01:52:51):
Today. I desire marriage, and I'm just joking. I do
desire marriage. But I think what I'm looking for to
the most is not anything that I can actually classify
at this point in my life. I just want. I
want all the dreams that God has for me that
I haven't dreamed for myself, or that I've just put
myself at this level. And God, it's like I want

(01:53:13):
you to be here. That's what I want.

Speaker 1 (01:53:16):
That's good.

Speaker 4 (01:53:16):
That's good, David Transitions.

Speaker 6 (01:53:22):
You know, look, I'm a grandfather. I clap for myself.

Speaker 4 (01:53:29):
It's all good. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (01:53:30):
I haven't had any kids, but you know, God work
that one out for me, and so I'm just working
at being a better grandfather than enjoying that new experience.
You know, his birthday is almost the same as mine.
I'm a June Team baby boy. And you know, man,
look just you know, staying optimistic and dating in love.
You know, I mean, it's a crazy world out there.

(01:53:51):
Social media is poisoning everything, everybody's perspectives. Even you know,
good people get weird stuff. And so it's just you know,
trying to keep a good heart and you know, hopefully
run into somebody like me like I like them.

Speaker 1 (01:54:03):
That's good love love for she transition looking forward to.

Speaker 5 (01:54:08):
For me is just continue to do the work as
far as myself is concerned, like growing as a man
through counseling and being a better father, and then ultimately
looking for that lady in my life that we can
concert with one another and decide we want to pull
in the same direction, because that's all I want at
the end.

Speaker 4 (01:54:24):
Of the day for us to have.

Speaker 5 (01:54:26):
A common goal and to pull in the same direction,
because if we're not in this tuggle war. And then
at the end of the day, besides that, I remember
the old pastors used to say in small town Louisiana
with my grandparents, for you had your ancestors who prayed
for you and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed,
and you have storage closets of prayers. And he said,
you don't want to leave this earth without emptying all

(01:54:47):
those storage stored up blessings and prayers for you. So
that's my ultimate goal, is to not block the blessings
that have been already set in front of me and
just be there to receive them.

Speaker 1 (01:54:58):
Good good Jessica transition.

Speaker 3 (01:55:01):
I have to say, I look forward to like safe,
consistent love, like you know, love that's dependable and it
just keeps showing up, like you're like, you ain't gonna
show up today, and then it just do and you
were like, oh you came back. I think, I think

(01:55:22):
that's gonna change my life, Like to have that experience
every day all days, like ooh you yourself every day. Yeah,
that's that's what I look forward to.

Speaker 1 (01:55:34):
I love that consistent love, Lady Nicole, transition, what are
you looking forward to?

Speaker 2 (01:55:39):
I just really just want to be the best wife
that I could be to my husband, the best mother
I could be for my children, and I just have
great satisfaction in that, and just continue to grow in
my walks spiritually in this position that I'm in, and
help women that feel like they've and counted out. I

(01:56:01):
definitely have a passion to help people with different issues
and things that they have gone through in life. So
that's something I would like to touch later on good
passor King.

Speaker 11 (01:56:14):
I mean, I'm listening and thinking through the whole piece.
It's so many transitions are always taking place because you know,
as a leader and doing so many things, I've kind
of come to the point of my life la terrors
where I used to have I can still put a
five year plan together, but God's done changed that in

(01:56:34):
six months, right. I'm just looking forward to whatever next
God wants to surprise me with and the transition of
me surrendering more than him. It might sound like an
old big louse, you know, whole spiritual piece, but truly
I want to be.

Speaker 4 (01:56:54):
Submitted for whatever.

Speaker 11 (01:56:57):
Transition He has, And I say that because family wise,
you know, one son left in the house, that's going
to be a transition. Church wise, you know, I think
we you know, it's our seventeenth year. We're trying to
not trying, but we're right now in the process of
building affordable homes for seniors, senior adults. So that's a

(01:57:20):
transition going into economic development in that piece. I mean
we could go on you know, chamea plug book coming
out right now. That's a transition because I need the
money to pay for it. All those things are transitional.
And here's the I want. I'm looking forward to the
transition where God blesses me with so many resources and

(01:57:44):
money that I can bless so many people that I
dreamed about.

Speaker 4 (01:57:48):
Yes, that's what I'm looking for.

Speaker 1 (01:57:50):
Listen, speaking of the book, is a book that you
had in the green room that you gave each and
every one of us. It's called Cheaters.

Speaker 4 (01:57:59):
Cheaters, Breakups, Love Worth Finding.

Speaker 1 (01:58:01):
The Love worth finding it. I want you a touch
on that. What made you write that book?

Speaker 11 (01:58:06):
Well, I told you I have been over you know,
when I was on staff of Friendship, I was over
the counseling ministry for the most part. I mean, we
had counselors and I do pastoral lay counseling. Were over
licensed professional counsel so all the counsel you know, those
like ten thousand people. And then through the years, like
I said, I've been doing it for thirty two years.

(01:58:27):
I always counsel people and it usually came in relationship piece.
You know, you don't get to counsel everybody. I mean
everybody will seeing you in boxes. Everybody was sitting there.
But what I started noticing was a trend. Whether they
were single, whether they were married or whatever the situation was.
Most of the stuff I kept seeing was in three categories.

(01:58:49):
People were cheating or being cheated on. People were breaking
up and didn't know how to break up. It's like
people know how to join the church, but they don't
know how to leave, and they joined walking.

Speaker 4 (01:59:03):
Down the aisle and shouting.

Speaker 11 (01:59:05):
When they leave, you just see him in Walmut one
day and you ain't seeing him in eight months, and
they want to go.

Speaker 4 (01:59:11):
Down the other aisle, like hey, how you doing.

Speaker 11 (01:59:14):
They just ghost you and that's kind of the practice
of their life. So I kept seeing cheetahs then breaking up,
and people were violent when they broke up. It's like
this is a person you spent twenty years with. At
least be a Christian towards them. It's still your Christian
brother and your Christian sister. At least you can hate

(01:59:35):
Charles and his guts, but you're still a brother and
sister in christ. People know how to break up, right,
It's like I gotta burn everything down with you. Well,
you didn't do that when you were putting that hump
in my back and I had to hump in yours.

Speaker 4 (01:59:51):
We must have been good for a few seconds.

Speaker 1 (01:59:53):
How may'all know what that hump is? The hump that
he's speaking about, the hump.

Speaker 4 (01:59:57):
No, no, know what I'm saying.

Speaker 11 (01:59:58):
You know what I'm saying, Like all this passionate love
making and you got kids and all kinds of stuff.
They couldn't have been that bad all the time, Right,
at some point you liked each other for three minutes.
So so I so I kept seeing that cheating breaking

(02:00:21):
up and then the journey of hey where is because
you know, I was a single pastor for so many
years and and doing singles mission and speaking of the
word the same thing. I don't care if I was
teaking the white people, black people, whatever the room was
always mostly fool with women, and they would be mad
because they're asking what.

Speaker 4 (02:00:41):
Men at.

Speaker 11 (02:00:44):
And it's like, how we're gonna get found if ain't
no men showing up here.

Speaker 1 (02:00:49):
A lot of y'all had that conversation. Y'all walked in
here today, didn't you, Holly? Women Again, we already.

Speaker 11 (02:00:56):
Know it was gonna take place what it is, so
and then with the men it was the same thing.
You know, I really want to, you know, connect, So
it's a love worth finding that process. So I start
looking at all that, checking it out and say, you
know what, I can't counsel everybody, but I can do
it through a book. So my piece as I wrapped
this up, was the cheating piece, why people cheating the

(02:01:18):
first place, the real premise that I was looking at
because men are always known what me and cheat. But
in my counseling sessions, most of the women was one
doing the cheating, and it didn't come out till later
that they cheat and defining cheating because cheating ain't.

Speaker 4 (02:01:40):
Always sleeping with somebody.

Speaker 11 (02:01:42):
You got this person you still calling your best friend
as a female who they know things about you your
wife never does, right, So that means they have influence,
and you don't talk to your wife about the things.
You've just opened up a door and and now you're
sleeping together later on. But that's not how it usually starts.

(02:02:04):
It starts with an emotional safety net, a place of safety.
So we start talking about cheating is not just physical,
it's emotional and attachment. So people didn't know that they
were cheating and didn't know why people were isolating them
from all the people in their lives because they couldn't understand.
I ain't slept with nobody physically, you haven't emotionally.

Speaker 1 (02:02:30):
You're a prostitute and went to prostitute you. That escalated
real fast, didn't it? Yeah, real fast.

Speaker 11 (02:02:38):
So that's kind of what the pieces. So we started
from the cheating piece. We talk about that, we give
guidance for that, We talk about cheating breaking up. And
I looked at Lot's Wife because I saw one of
your few different wife podcasts, and I wish I was
on that one because I could give it elect Sometimes

(02:02:59):
we realize, yeah, God, God don't always bring everybody together.
And you know, when God is going together, letting no
man put asunder or a lot of this stuff God
ain't put together.

Speaker 4 (02:03:14):
We did because we wanted a wedding.

Speaker 11 (02:03:16):
I tell single people our time, mel the female, if
you just want to see what you look like in
a wedding, call your homeboys and homegirls up, go down,
get you a fitty dress, get your suit, take some pictures,
go to Chili's and get that out of your system.

(02:03:36):
Because many people spend more time preparing for their marriage,
for their wedding than they do their marriage. And they
already they got that image in their head, and once
they got that picture, then the marriage is like, oh well,
that's why she said, we spend a lot of time
preparing for marriage and me getting to know hurt. Because
a ring is a ring. What is the covenant in

(02:03:59):
your heart? Because what's gonna keep me faithful to her
is not this Exactly what's gonna keep me faithful to
her is if I was a whole as a single,
putting the ring on my fingers not gonna stop my hortem.
I have to learn what faithfulness is to God, and
that's who keeps me faithful. So so we were looking

(02:04:22):
at that and people did so. At the end of
the day, I looked at Lot's wife, and Lot went
to a place got married God didn't tell them to
go to that place Sodomgamore. When it was time for them.
They were married, they had kids. The angel told them
to leave and don't look back. Right leave And some
people don't think God would be involved or allow your

(02:04:46):
relationship to break up.

Speaker 4 (02:04:48):
A lot of his wife or leaving. I ain't said
don't look back. They got the kids.

Speaker 11 (02:04:53):
Well, Miss lot lighted Dottie. She turned around because she
want to do her own things. She's an independent woman.

Speaker 4 (02:05:02):
She likes the foty.

Speaker 11 (02:05:04):
She don't bother nobody.

Speaker 4 (02:05:07):
All right, here we go.

Speaker 11 (02:05:08):
So she looks back, right, she looks back. She's salty,
turned to a pull of salt. But what it does
it ends their marriage. Her act of obedience of turning back,
looking at the past into her marriage. She stops there
in the tracks. He has to make a decision. I'm

(02:05:31):
now a single father with two kids. I can either
stay here and be salty, or I can learn how
to move forward and trust God.

Speaker 4 (02:05:41):
And so we look at that whole breakup piece.

Speaker 11 (02:05:43):
Sometimes God has to allow her to break up because
you weren't supposed to be there in the first place.
The second piece is the breakup is you don't have
to be broken when you break up, you can be
heal the inno sense, because sometimes people break up because
they were broken when they got started, and and and

(02:06:07):
and then because see one of the one of the
best places that people going through divorce are bad marriage.
One of the first times they agree on everything, well
they come to a point of agreement, is in divorce court.
You known argue and disagree with everything all the way,
but it took you going to divorce court to come

(02:06:30):
to say, okay, we're cool, so so. And then the love,
we're finding the whole piece where you know what, You
got to find a love that fetch you, not comparing
it to anybody else, but you gotta love you. And
then the reason I could identify my wife is because
I was praying, trying to live a certain way and

(02:06:53):
and not we ain't talking about.

Speaker 4 (02:06:54):
No perfection because Martin ain't Marcus King.

Speaker 11 (02:06:56):
But I'm saying when I say live a certain way financially,
I was preparing for a wife even though she had
been divorced. I saw wife in her. I saw wife
in her. I didn't see girlfriend. You can't find your
wife looking through boyfriend's eyes. I had husband eyes, and

(02:07:21):
I saw a wife hart Tea, and that's why I
was able to do that. So that's kind of the
process of those three And that's kind of what the
book I talked about.

Speaker 1 (02:07:30):
Do you have are the books here? Do you have it?

Speaker 11 (02:07:32):
I got them right out there. They're not free nine
and nine, they're fifteen none. And I got you right
out there.

Speaker 1 (02:07:36):
All right, So listen, how many books you got?

Speaker 11 (02:07:40):
I think I have on hand? I got about one
hundred and fifty maybe something out that. But then I
got another book out there, Finding Your Focus on Relationships,
which is about fifty two devotionals about relationships each one,
So I got that out there too.

Speaker 1 (02:07:54):
So I want everybody to go grab a book. I
want you all to go buy a book because you
said you're coming out with another book, and I want
this to be the seed that's planning for your next book.
So I want you all to run out there. And
I'm gonna tell you the reason why that's important. It
is because they didn't charge for this event. They did
not charge all one dollar to come into this event.
So give it up for DC three and so and so.

(02:08:18):
But I believe in sowing and reaping, and so make
sure y'all go out there, go grab a book. Show
that y'all support uh opportunities where we do stuff? Is
that the book?

Speaker 4 (02:08:28):
Good?

Speaker 12 (02:08:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:08:30):
Do commercial? What am I doing?

Speaker 4 (02:08:32):
Do commercial?

Speaker 11 (02:08:33):
You said we in charge, but I gotta pay you,
so you got you're gonna do that book right there?

Speaker 1 (02:08:37):
A Cheaters, make sure you pick up Cheaters, Breakups and
the Love Worth Finding by Pastor Marcus D.

Speaker 4 (02:08:45):
King and doctor Jazcerlot did the full worth of.

Speaker 1 (02:08:48):
Doctor Jasmine Charlotte and uh Finding your focus on relationships.
But you said they can get the people that's watching
online right now, they.

Speaker 11 (02:08:54):
Can get it on You can go to Marcus D.
King dot com right now, all right, Marcus D. King,
you can pre order my book on prayer, the audacity
uh speaking boldie praying praying, you know, with audacity, praying fearlessly,
And you can get that right now and pre order that.
That book should be out within the next couple of weeks.

Speaker 1 (02:09:16):
Love it, Love it, Love it.

Speaker 4 (02:09:17):
I got some other books on that too, but yeah, good.

Speaker 1 (02:09:19):
Yeah, I didn't know what you wrote so many books.
I remember I was talking to you and I saw
this plaque that you had with how many books have
you written? Like seven? This number eight, number eight. Yeah,
so seven and number eight. That's good, give it up.
It's so difficult to write a book, so difficult. Listen,
we're gonna open the Oh well, let me just tell
y'all what my transition I'm looking forward to about that part.

(02:09:47):
So the first one, of course, is in September the fourteenth,
the transition to be uh a grandfather to a beautiful
young granddaughter. I'm having a granddaughter. And on November the
twenty second will be the day I get married, and
so and so I'm looking forward to the five years

(02:10:09):
that I've been on this journey to discover, uncover and
recover love. Start the podcast April fifteenth, and so this
is a huge godwink to know that God did not
forget about me. A lot of times people are watching
the podcast or seeing stuff on social media and they're saying,
he don't want nobody. I mean, he got all these women,
he doesnet met, he don't want nobody, And they don't
know what's brewing behind the scenes. They never know what's

(02:10:31):
taking place behind the scenes. Like Pastor King said, is
that a lot of people come up with these ideologies,
but you can't just choose incorrectly, because what happens is
if I rushed on people's timeline and got married, but
that marriage only lasted a year, y'all be like, see,
he should have took his time, He should have took
his time. He done found somebody and already divorced, you
know what I'm saying. So you can't win for losing.

(02:10:53):
And that's why one of the major vowals that we
take is forsaking all others, because you can't base Mayor
and covenant on other people's opinions. So I'll do an
episode in the next couple of weeks where I'll just
sit on the yellow couch and I talk about this journey.
One of the things that I am doing is I'm
keeping it private till it's permanent because of how just

(02:11:14):
social media is. You know, you can't just lend. Especially
when you got somebody and all eyes are on them.
You can thrust them into a position where they are
being judged, criticized, and you're bringing that into your marriage
before you even get married. It's already a challenge to
get to the altar, especially preparing for a marriage. A

(02:11:34):
lot of marriages break up just planning the wedding you
know they will fall out just planning the wedding, and
so God gave me wisdom on how to cultivate that.
And I've been in counseling. We've been in pre I
went through pre engagement counseling. So before I even put
a ring on her finger, we went through three months

(02:11:56):
of pre engagement counseling. We love Matt Peerson and been
an amazing journey. So I give God all the glory
for this chapter ending in a new one beginning. We're
gonna open this up briefly for about fifteen minutes to
give a little Q and a microphones in the center.
I'll come address whoever you want to address, ask your question.
Come on, let's talk. Anybody, questions, comments, concerns. Don't be scared.

(02:12:22):
Y'all gonna wait till the first person go, and then
about twenty of y'all gonna get in line. There you go,
there's a microphone on.

Speaker 15 (02:12:30):
All right, Sorry, hello, everyone, I just wanted to make
an announcement that if you would like to ask a question,
you can come up to the mic just formal line,
no more than four people and just.

Speaker 8 (02:12:42):
Ask your question.

Speaker 1 (02:12:43):
Good, Thank you.

Speaker 3 (02:12:46):
Hello, everybody.

Speaker 1 (02:12:47):
You can tilt it down, tilt it down to your mouth.

Speaker 2 (02:12:49):
Hi, everybody, go and stay your name yetes go ahead.

Speaker 8 (02:12:53):
My name is Nikki.

Speaker 2 (02:12:54):
I'm new to the DFW area, move from the Memphis area.

Speaker 1 (02:12:59):
Welcome to doubt Us. Welcome, welcome, welcome, Thank you, Hold on.
I want y'all, you know, I want y'all to make
friends with it. Like when people come to new cities,
it makes it very difficult to build relationships. So being
the body of Christ, I want y'all to put some
love on it and connect with her. So make sure
that takes place.

Speaker 3 (02:13:16):
Thank you, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (02:13:20):
So I was in a marriage for it's been ten
years now, but after nine years feeling intimately neglected, which
eventually became emotional abuse, I left and now have been
going through a divorce for a year and he's making

(02:13:40):
it very difficult. I still believe in love. I know
for a fact that I love that man, the wrong person,
the right way. So I'm still a big support of love.
Super excited for you and your transition. By the way,

(02:14:03):
as I'm going through my healing journey, how do I
rebuild trust and not let my past pain block the love.

Speaker 3 (02:14:14):
That I truly do?

Speaker 1 (02:14:15):
Learn I won't, Lady Nicole, that's right there in your bag,
right there.

Speaker 2 (02:14:23):
Okay. First, I think you need to see God and
ask him anything that you have concerns with. Number one,
just ask him and just talk to him like you
talk to your friends. Just be that transparent and ask
him to really heal your heart so you could be
open to receive love and also to give love.

Speaker 3 (02:14:45):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:14:46):
And I think the main thing again is just asking God, God,
you know, help me through this pray pray time of
getting your word and meditate and then just ask him
for science because I'm a big believer that God. I
will show you signs if you ask him and ask
him for sevil, you know, so you won't be confused
because a lot of times you can get confused is

(02:15:08):
this God?

Speaker 3 (02:15:08):
Is this not God?

Speaker 2 (02:15:10):
Ask him for clear signs so you know that you
are not missing it. And just get with a good
group of people that are speaking positive things to you,
not negative things, not and understanding what you have gone
through because that's a lot. That's a loss, that is
like a death. A lot of times, divorce is a
lot of mourning. So just allow yourself to heal. I'm

(02:15:32):
not sure if you're all the way healed right now
or not? Just allow yourself to healed and just be
able to open your heart when you feel like you're ready.

Speaker 1 (02:15:41):
And let me ask you this, Do you believe that
there's any reconciliation for your marriage?

Speaker 3 (02:15:45):
Absolutely not?

Speaker 1 (02:15:46):
Amen, So here we go. So listen, I just.

Speaker 2 (02:15:51):
Want to become a physically abusive absolutely absolutely so.

Speaker 1 (02:15:54):
Here it is because I was gonna pray for those
for a release to take place. You said that he's
tying up the divorce proceedings correctly, and so we're gonna
pray that a release is gonna take place, and a
miracle is gonna take place, and you're gonna find something
in the next few days where he's gonna say, I'm
gonna go ahead and let it go. Tisha Owens, I

(02:16:16):
want you to come up here, at Teasha. I want
I want my sister right here to to pray for you.

Speaker 14 (02:16:27):
First of all, Lord, we just want to say thank you,
thank you. We thank you for the sister just being
transparent that you will allow her, allow her to come
forth and just share and be open with us.

Speaker 3 (02:16:38):
Father.

Speaker 14 (02:16:38):
She's asking for restoration on her heart. She feels broken,
and I'm sure she's felt betrayed, misunderstood for whatever reason,
that husband put hands on her, and I'm sure she
has felt alone. But we want you, Lord, to put

(02:16:59):
your arms around her and let her feel your presence
even when she's trying to understand how this happened and
what went wrong. Let her know that it was not
her fault. Let her see that you love her and
that you know what has transpired. But you are going
to continue to walk with her. You're going to be

(02:17:21):
her peace. You're going to be her joy. You're going
to provide her with the friends and the support that
she needs. You're going to touch that man right now,
in the name of Jesus, where he is realizing what
he has done, the pain, the hurt that he has
brought on her, and we pray Lord that he comes
asking for forgiveness, not necessarily for restoration, but just that

(02:17:45):
she would see that you have, that she has been heard,
and that you are aware of what's going on in
this situation. We want him to be so uneasy that
he understands that he does need to go ahead and
rectify the situation. Give her what she is asking for,
which is freedom and release. Father, you said where two

(02:18:05):
or three are gathering your name that you.

Speaker 3 (02:18:07):
Would be all so here we all are.

Speaker 14 (02:18:09):
We know that you move mountains, We know that you
part red seas, So surely you hear us calling you,
asking for your guidance, asking for your wisdom, asking for
your peace. And you're gonna surround her this room tonight.

Speaker 3 (02:18:23):
We're gonna love on her. We're gonna remind.

Speaker 14 (02:18:25):
Her again that you hear her and that you are
aware of what's going on, and you're going to fill
her with your joy again. She will have testimony that
she is now restored and renewed and has that peace
of God that only you can provide. We thank you
in advance for how the testimony is going to come forth,
and we're gonna hear the goodness of how she comes

(02:18:47):
out with her hands up saying that it has been
victorious and you have done just.

Speaker 8 (02:18:52):
What you said.

Speaker 14 (02:18:53):
We thank you in advance for how you're gonna move
in her life and the name of Jesus.

Speaker 1 (02:18:57):
Amen, Thank you, thank you, Thank you. Hil Luis. How
many y'all believe that right now? Do y'all believe that
this is what these moments are for? This is what
these moments are for. You're next good evening.

Speaker 14 (02:19:14):
My name is Kim from San Francisco. First lady and pastor,
thank you so much for hosting us, betrayus, what a
blessing and the entire panels.

Speaker 1 (02:19:24):
She gave me a new name. She gave me a
new name, took me right there. So you so you
live in San Francisco right now? I do you're visiting
for this weekend? I am, oh, good, good, welcome, welcome,
welcome friends.

Speaker 3 (02:19:39):
You said what I'm one of good friends.

Speaker 1 (02:19:41):
Oh okay, teacher, that's your that's your friend. All right.

Speaker 14 (02:19:43):
Yeah, So I have I guess a two prong question.
I after divorce, the Lord had called me to not
date for some time, and the Lord kept me in
peace during that, and then I felt like God took
the hedge off and I was like, oh cool, I'm

(02:20:07):
gonna have a winter boo or whatever the case may be.
Winner came and went like several times and.

Speaker 8 (02:20:18):
No one came.

Speaker 14 (02:20:20):
And I noticed that this dating pool that we're in now,
especially with social media, that people just date very differently,
and men no longer pursue women anymore. And I'm with fashion,
I'm not chasing, I'm not looking, and I feel like

(02:20:44):
I'm saying, okay, God, it's coming, when are you bringing it?

Speaker 8 (02:20:49):
But how do you get through that season.

Speaker 14 (02:20:52):
When you think that God said yes, and nothing's out there?
And how do you deal with what is out there
that's coming towards you that may not feel as great.

Speaker 1 (02:21:05):
That was the most politically correct way of saying. I
don't want none of these in words. That's what she said.
I don't want none of these in words, is what
she said in a very politically correct way. It was
amazing how you formed your words to say that question.
Is this when you got married the first time? How
did you meet him?

Speaker 8 (02:21:26):
I met him through friends.

Speaker 1 (02:21:28):
All right? And so always go back to how work before?
Talk to your friend, talk to your friend group and say, hey,
do y'all know anybody that you know I would be
interested in and put it out there. I know you
said your old fashioned, and I still believe in old
fashioned ways. Do you go out places where you can

(02:21:50):
meet guys like home depot or lows or you know,
I mean I do.

Speaker 14 (02:21:56):
I mean I work a lot in the community, I
do travel a lot, but men don't approach me.

Speaker 1 (02:22:03):
Well do are you? Are you? Do you find yourself approachable?
Do you like smile at guys, you know, because sometimes y'all.

Speaker 8 (02:22:11):
I definitely don't growl, and so I.

Speaker 1 (02:22:19):
Always say that it's this thing that I always say,
the proverbial handkerchief. You know, back in the day, the
woman would drop her hanky and then the man would
walk up and pick it up. I say, today in
social media, it's just engage like a heart of photo.
I mean, are you on social media?

Speaker 4 (02:22:35):
I am all right?

Speaker 1 (02:22:36):
Do you how do you respond if you see a
guy that comes across your timeline to somebody you know,
you may went to school with, just anybody, your coworker
or whatnot. Do you ever engage with people? Do you
feel like even saying hi to them is making the
first move.

Speaker 14 (02:22:50):
No, I definitely engage, but I don't do the first flirt.

Speaker 1 (02:22:57):
And get what does your engagement look like?

Speaker 14 (02:23:00):
I mean, I have a humble lifestyle show, so I'm
on social media.

Speaker 8 (02:23:07):
So I engage.

Speaker 14 (02:23:08):
So I'm not quiet, I affirm, I laugh at stuff,
I comment back and forth, banter.

Speaker 8 (02:23:16):
I just don't make the first move.

Speaker 14 (02:23:18):
The other thing, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:23:22):
You said the guys that you meet, so you said
that you don't like, so are you meeting guys you
just don't like the selection because you made a comment
in the most politically correct way about that's what you
don't like. So you are meeting guys, do approach you, right,
you just don't like what's coming.

Speaker 8 (02:23:37):
Well, no, that's a hard one.

Speaker 14 (02:23:43):
I think what it is is I don't get approached
a lot. And what I see I'm not even attracted to.
I'm not moved in a way that I'm like, I'm
checking for him.

Speaker 1 (02:23:57):
How many women are having that same problem right there? Yeah?
About that?

Speaker 14 (02:24:03):
So, and especially since this is what you do and
in terms of like interviewing and having guests.

Speaker 8 (02:24:12):
Come on, have you seen a shift in a culture?

Speaker 4 (02:24:15):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:24:15):
Yes, it's been a great shift. I mean it's everything
you're saying is true. Everything you're saying is just the
signs of the times. Men aren't approaching women as much
as they used to do. They fear rejection a lot.
I don't know. We used to get rejected all the
time when we were in high school and it was
no big deal. You know. We would go to the

(02:24:36):
mall and see how many phone numbers you could get.
You know what I'm saying, And don't care. It's just
a numbers game. We used to think of as a
numbers game back then. Now guys be like, man' you know,
ain't finna do all that? You think? What's that?

Speaker 14 (02:24:48):
I think the age of social media. You know, they
have a plethora of women that they can slide into
and if if you're not moving as quick enough. I
didn't mean to say it like that, slide into the
deer if you're not moving quick enough, or if you're

(02:25:10):
not stepping to them, and I you know, I just.

Speaker 4 (02:25:14):
Can I can I say something?

Speaker 8 (02:25:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:25:16):
And this is am am.

Speaker 8 (02:25:20):
I gonna like it. First, lady, what is he what
he's gonna say? Is he gonna be a tough one.

Speaker 4 (02:25:25):
I've been doing it.

Speaker 11 (02:25:26):
We've been doing this for a while. Here's here's a deal.
Because I was single till I was forty one forty two, right,
I've had opportunities to, like I say, choose whoever you
wanted to date whatever.

Speaker 4 (02:25:40):
It doesn't matter whether you're a woman or a man.

Speaker 11 (02:25:43):
When God has what he has for you, they will
find you. I don't care if you in Walmart and
you got your bonnnet on that day and you're trying
to hide, You're gonna be fine to him right now,
here's what I think we have to have to do.
We can't just be blaming God for everything. God didn't

(02:26:07):
make me marry this woman. God didn't make me slide
to her DMS. That was my decision, that's my choice.
We can't generalize men aren't doing that.

Speaker 4 (02:26:20):
That's a lot.

Speaker 11 (02:26:20):
I got a twenty five year old right here know
his woman. I made a decision to chase this woman.
So the men you mess with are scared to that.
Now here's the other part. Society has changed in a
lot of ways, and you can't have it both ways.
Women want their independence and be an independent woman and

(02:26:42):
do all this.

Speaker 4 (02:26:43):
You can't even open the door for women. Why one
door for woman?

Speaker 11 (02:26:46):
She got an attitude like I'm demeaning her, Like, ma'am,
I'm just opening the door for you.

Speaker 8 (02:26:52):
I'm not that one.

Speaker 4 (02:26:53):
No, no, no, I'm just saying. It gets stupid, it's just dumb.

Speaker 11 (02:26:59):
Now, it's like you, you do you want a partner?

Speaker 4 (02:27:04):
Do you really want a man? And do you?

Speaker 11 (02:27:07):
And I found out a lot of men, a lot
of women want a man until he starts manning. Yes,
Because because society is trying to feminize men. We ain't
just talking about when I'm not talking about people being
homosexual and stuff like that, I'm saying society is trying to.

Speaker 4 (02:27:27):
Take the man out of manhood.

Speaker 11 (02:27:31):
You raise your voice, well you hollering, or you your
threat or your aggressor.

Speaker 4 (02:27:35):
No, just talking. I'm expressing myself. I'm black.

Speaker 11 (02:27:39):
It's what we do that we talk because I grew
up in my household, right, so so I recognize a
lot of women that that I have to deal with
stuff like that. And here's the other part. We don't
there are consequences to our actions. I told you earlier,
you know God's grace. He gonna give us grace because

(02:28:02):
he loves us. Right, but you told me you already
been married, right, that's the covenant. What if God has
already gave you that, that's the only one you get.

Speaker 14 (02:28:13):
Well, I was married unto the Lord.

Speaker 4 (02:28:16):
No, so you never had a husband.

Speaker 8 (02:28:20):
I didn't leave until God I was.

Speaker 11 (02:28:24):
I don't know your situation. I want you to stand.
It's not a judging peace know nothing about you. I'm
saying many people are on their second. But just because
somebody else gets another chance in marriage doesn't.

Speaker 4 (02:28:38):
Mean you will.

Speaker 11 (02:28:40):
And just because you've lived your life a certain way,
and and you feel the Lord is that God ain't
promise you no spouse. If you look in your Bible,
God only promised one person's spouse, Adams it who else
in the Bible that he promised the spouse. So we

(02:29:01):
start talking about promising and relationship and things this nature.
Sometimes when God frees us up, it's for us to
get right with him. I married a woman with kids
that being divorced, allso the kind of stuff, and it
was a whole lot of single available women, right. I

(02:29:23):
found more peace with her with three kids than a
lot of women that had none. It's not about what
she had or whatever. It's the quality of the person.
And if we don't understand, you can be a virgin

(02:29:44):
and have a nasty attitude, you can be you can
be whatever you want to be.

Speaker 4 (02:29:50):
In It's like, so, all I'm saying to you is
understand your picky.

Speaker 11 (02:29:56):
You like what you like, and there are consequences is
for your standards and if and if there is no
grace in your choosing people, don't be mad at God
because you don't know how to extend grace and and
loving people in their imperfections.

Speaker 4 (02:30:18):
That's all I gotta say.

Speaker 8 (02:30:20):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (02:30:21):
I received that.

Speaker 1 (02:30:24):
I was depressed and Pastor King, let me let me say,
let me say, let me say it like this, Let
me say it like this.

Speaker 4 (02:30:35):
See, at the end of the at the end of
the day, we take scripture.

Speaker 11 (02:30:39):
Sometimes God will give you the desires to your heart.

Speaker 4 (02:30:42):
What if you already did that.

Speaker 11 (02:30:45):
And now the next piece is all right, let's move
past that. You still got that desire, you still want
to be married. Okay, it's out there.

Speaker 4 (02:30:52):
We don't. We like sensationalism in the church today and.

Speaker 11 (02:30:57):
We like all this stuff, but when you come back
and line it up with script sure, with scripture, I'm
not talking about I want this, I want that. No,
what is scripture saying about this? God bless this show, right,
God bless all the show? But how many podcasts do
we have to have with people talking about stuff and

(02:31:17):
they ain't using.

Speaker 8 (02:31:18):
Scripture or trusting the Lord.

Speaker 4 (02:31:22):
Or trusting the Lord in relationships.

Speaker 8 (02:31:23):
Walking the walk and even with me.

Speaker 14 (02:31:26):
It's not that I'm picky, but as a woman of God,
I deserve to be treated like a woman of God.
If I'm giving one hundred percent, I'm not It doesn't
necessarily mean that I'm looking for fifty to fifty or
whatever the case may be. But I still want to

(02:31:46):
feel like a woman. If I'm making sure that my
man is feeling like a man, that I'm affirming him,
that I'm supporting that I'm understanding my place as a woman, which,
by the way, I think is a gift.

Speaker 8 (02:32:01):
I love being a woman.

Speaker 14 (02:32:03):
I didn't get divorced because I wanted to be divorce.
I got divorced because I had no choice.

Speaker 4 (02:32:10):
But oh yeah, that has still.

Speaker 14 (02:32:12):
A saved wife even after the divorce, and I honored
him because we had a child together.

Speaker 8 (02:32:21):
I honored him.

Speaker 14 (02:32:23):
Even after that because that's who God has called me
to be. But in this season of my life, I
don't necessarily think it as too picky or being.

Speaker 11 (02:32:34):
I just said, you have standards, Yeah I don't have.
There's no problem with stands things like this. I'm not
saying that God doesn't have anybody that he's gonna bless
you with. I'm not saying that that's God. We don't
control that. I'm not saying you're wrong for anything you're doing.
I'm not saying the divorce is your fault. Like I said,
I don't know anything about that. What I'm saying is
what I'm saying clearly across the board is this, God

(02:32:58):
has a purpose for your life. And if a mate
is not in this season, sometimes being married can become
your idol.

Speaker 4 (02:33:14):
Do you understand what I'm saying?

Speaker 11 (02:33:16):
Like it can overtake you, like you're a peace with
everything else in your life.

Speaker 4 (02:33:24):
But I'm not married, right And it's subtle. It's subtle.

Speaker 11 (02:33:30):
And next thing, you know, that's what you're thinking about
the most, and you don't have this peace and you
want to honor the Lord. And there's nothing wrong with you.
There is nothing wrong with you. It's just where God
hats you. And many times when one door is closed,

(02:33:50):
God is saying, turn around to.

Speaker 4 (02:33:52):
See what I want to do next in this season?
Just me and you because I'm writing yours.

Speaker 11 (02:34:00):
If I'm writing your story and your desire is to
be married, that means I'm working on him too.

Speaker 4 (02:34:08):
And trust me with the timing. Thank you, You got
what I'm saying. So it's not God ain't gonna do this.

Speaker 3 (02:34:14):
No.

Speaker 11 (02:34:15):
God is a personal God. God loves you. God has
plans for you. God knows the desires of your heart.
But do you know the desires of God's heart for you?
That's what I'm trying to.

Speaker 3 (02:34:28):
Get you, can I say, just on a lighter note,
just on a lighter note, right, because I thoroughly enjoy you.
You have the essence of a lady. You're absolutely gorgeous,
and because the times are a little different, you might
just need to cast your sin. Right, let me show
you how you do it. Right, there's a guy you

(02:34:50):
like this guy. There's no guy's over here. Sorry if
I'm pointing at one of y'all, I told y'all what
I like. So so watch this at of times because
men are on alert right now for the hyper independent
woman and you you just you're so well put. They

(02:35:10):
do need a bone. They need to know that you're interested.
Call it fear, call it. I don't want to be offended.
I don't want to get sued. I don't want her
to say I'm raping her, that I accidentally touched her.
But like they have a lot of things to consider now,
just just hey, how you doing? Like if everybody get

(02:35:30):
like this, smile give him this one, you know what
I'm saying, Just like, you know, like, just just a
little at it so he can know he's different in
the room, and then in the midst of everybody else.
I see you if you give an eye contact to
everybody because you really care, really stare at him, squint
a little bit. You don't sound like, hey you, That's

(02:35:52):
all I'm saying. Just cash your sin, just just a tabit.
Not enough to where you you misunderstood, but enough to
let him know if you are interested. So am I
that's it?

Speaker 1 (02:36:04):
Okay, that's good, thank you, thank you so much, queen.

Speaker 4 (02:36:08):
But let me ask you though you can't.

Speaker 1 (02:36:10):
Say nothing else. Brought it back around this ters room again.
The readon.

Speaker 11 (02:36:21):
I'm saying this is because we get so depressed and
so down. And we talked about casting sins, which is great,
but what are you trying to catch?

Speaker 4 (02:36:29):
What do you do? You want to be married? I'm
just said being clear, do you want to be married?

Speaker 11 (02:36:34):
Do you want to because here's once again God bless
you though, but do you want to be married? This
one wants to be married and and those practical things
are good. But once again, I watch all these podcasts,
I see all the people. I got to counsel these
people when it don't work out, and then they wonder
and then they suicidal.

Speaker 4 (02:36:52):
I'm just trying to tell you I'm just saying no, no, no, no, no.
I'm trying.

Speaker 11 (02:36:58):
I'm trying to I'm trying to be real. This is
where the council says, just go. So I'm trying to understand.
I love what you said. All this is great. I
want to see you happy, but we gotta have sound
by what.

Speaker 4 (02:37:14):
Do you want?

Speaker 14 (02:37:15):
Okay, let me just say this. I have been in
peace during the time that.

Speaker 8 (02:37:22):
God has called me. Not to date, I haven't.

Speaker 14 (02:37:25):
Murmured, complained, but it just seemed like the hetch was
taken off.

Speaker 1 (02:37:30):
Yeah, that's what you said earlier. That's why I understand
what you're saying. You're in the right season right now
where you said you want companionship. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Amen,
you wanta matching pajamas this December getting on this reskin.
Reskin gonna have you sitting there in the saying asylum
it was just depressed. This man that told you to
wait on the Lord forever.

Speaker 8 (02:37:51):
They got peace and joy.

Speaker 2 (02:37:54):
Like there's I may say a couple of things. I'm sorry, Oh,
there's a couple of different things that I've heard you say. Okay,
when you first came up, you talked about the peace
and joy, and then you transition from a season a
moment ago you said that, Hey, I'm a woman. I
deserve to be treated this way. There are a couple
of different things there that for me, I see a

(02:38:16):
mirror because I was peace and joy before I became
discontent and made a move out of intentional disobedience to God.
And so you can be in a season where you're
thinking that I am good here, but it's a lull,
it's a law until you come face to face with hey,
I'm not so good here God, what is happening? And

(02:38:39):
what I've heard you say that you have equated relationships
in men with validating your womanhood. And part of what
you said in the beginning was how do I live
during this season? What should I be doing right now?
Live if you do not? Because the question I've had
to ask myself, and this is not on you, but

(02:39:00):
the question I've had to ask myself, what if I
never get married? Can I still be content? Do I
still have joy? Does this still mean that I am
less than or am I worthy? It is independent of
any man joining with you that's going to validate your womanhood.
You are a completing whole as God has created informed

(02:39:20):
you in your mother's womb, and so that's a sense
that you have to be able to get to if
He adds someone to your life. If you become someone's
helpmate to God, be the glory. But if not, that
doesn't take anything away you are as a woman. We
are people, we are human. We have desires, but we

(02:39:41):
have to be able to know how to handle those
desires and not self outside the will of God with
those desires like I did. So I just want you
to be careful with what you're speaking and what you
are saying, because I don't necessarily know if you hear yourself.
And I think that's some of the things that Pastor

(02:40:02):
King is touching upon because a lot of times from
a ministerial standpoint, we hear what people don't necessarily say,
and you said a lot, but what I've for me personally,
what I've heard, those were system some concerns for me
because you were at a place where you were like

(02:40:23):
I was good, but now I'm like, I'm supposed to
be experiencing this. Are you supposed to be experiencing that?
Or is that discontent? Is this your season or you
trying to make it your season? Because That goes back
to what Pastor King was saying about timing, because if
it was your season, it's your season. But if it's not,
then you're trying to make it that way.

Speaker 1 (02:40:49):
So be still, Be still and know that I am God,
and that's what the scripture. Be still and know that
I am God. Weeping may endure for a night, but
joy comment in the morning. It's a long morning. It's
a long morning. Queen, introduce yourself.

Speaker 10 (02:41:08):
Hello, my name is Mary, and it's such an honor
to be in the house of the Lord.

Speaker 1 (02:41:15):
Amen. You real saying amen?

Speaker 8 (02:41:17):
Brother?

Speaker 3 (02:41:21):
Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (02:41:23):
My question is what is abstinence?

Speaker 10 (02:41:26):
Right?

Speaker 8 (02:41:26):
What is abstinence until you're married?

Speaker 1 (02:41:30):
As you said, what is abstinence?

Speaker 3 (02:41:32):
Yes, what is before you know marriage?

Speaker 1 (02:41:35):
Abstinence has been absent for sex before marriage.

Speaker 8 (02:41:39):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (02:41:40):
And then when you.

Speaker 10 (02:41:40):
Get in a relationship, do I tell them tell my boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (02:41:44):
Tell your boyfriend. You should have told him before he
became your boyfriend, because he might not be your boyfriend
if you tell him, you said, before you get in
a relationship. In the dating process, all state your intentions
in the fact that you are saving yourself a marriage.
And then so that y'a are in alignment before y'all

(02:42:08):
get in a commitment.

Speaker 10 (02:42:10):
Okay, so when we when he gets, you know, in
the program.

Speaker 1 (02:42:15):
So how long do we well the fact that you
didn't know what abstinence means? I'm wondering. So you said,
why do you say you don't know what abstinence means?

Speaker 10 (02:42:24):
Now I'm trying to get the full definition of what
actually an abstinence is from a male perspective.

Speaker 1 (02:42:30):
And a male perspective, it's a definition perspective.

Speaker 3 (02:42:33):
So what is it?

Speaker 1 (02:42:35):
Are you abstinate?

Speaker 8 (02:42:36):
I don't?

Speaker 1 (02:42:37):
Yeah, you are? How do you know?

Speaker 11 (02:42:39):
Because girl, if you get if you're giving it up,
you ain't after that. If he looking on you and
you doing stuff, you ain't after that. If your tongue
down his throat and somebody got with you ain't after that.

Speaker 4 (02:43:01):
You know what.

Speaker 6 (02:43:02):
Let's let's see we're hearing now what what?

Speaker 4 (02:43:05):
What's what?

Speaker 11 (02:43:06):
Most of people Shanika said everything I said. You don't
want to hear a man's perspective. You you don't want
you you have to hear it from a woman. She's
the same thing I said. Because here's a deal. I
walked her through her process. We've been talking about this,
how many years, too many years, Shanika, Pastor, I want
some girl.

Speaker 4 (02:43:27):
You can't have none. You.

Speaker 1 (02:43:29):
You're a woman.

Speaker 11 (02:43:31):
You she's hard headed. Okay, we've been knowing each other
for years. I'll counseled her. She's cried, we've talked, say
she she she was hanging in the after Pastor, I'm
just gonna get somebody to go to a room and
do it. I said, the Lord gonna get you because
you hear there, because you have waited so long, right,

(02:43:53):
you have waited so long. You you you've done this.
But I can't force you. It's between you and God.
But what we ain't gonna do. We're not gonna lie
about the situation. We're gonna be honest with ourselves. We're
not gonna play like we don't know what abstin this
is because you're too old. You're too old.

Speaker 1 (02:44:14):
Now.

Speaker 11 (02:44:15):
You're too old to be coming to a microphone.

Speaker 4 (02:44:20):
Asking what after this is? So stop it.

Speaker 11 (02:44:27):
Now, ask a real question and ask what you came
here for so we can stop playing in church?

Speaker 3 (02:44:39):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (02:44:40):
Hello, shall me?

Speaker 3 (02:44:42):
Okay? How long do how long?

Speaker 8 (02:44:44):
Do how long?

Speaker 3 (02:44:44):
How long do I date my boyfriend?

Speaker 10 (02:44:48):
How when is the right time before we get into
before we're married, we're in a relationship, we're practicing abstinence.

Speaker 3 (02:44:58):
How do we know when to like?

Speaker 8 (02:45:01):
You know when? How do you know?

Speaker 7 (02:45:03):
Is it when the body is feeling like, okay, we
can't hold it anymore?

Speaker 1 (02:45:07):
Or is it does he want does he? Does he
want to marry you?

Speaker 2 (02:45:12):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (02:45:12):
How you know because he asked you, He told me,
he told you want to marry you. So wait till
you ask you. God, bless you, thank you, thank you, God,
bless you.

Speaker 2 (02:45:24):
All right, amen, Hi everyone, I'm Angel.

Speaker 3 (02:45:28):
I'm a member of DC three.

Speaker 1 (02:45:30):
Since we first started there. It is DC three.

Speaker 13 (02:45:33):
So I'm currently in a relationship right now. And before
I was in a relationship.

Speaker 4 (02:45:38):
I was single for five years.

Speaker 8 (02:45:41):
He has children.

Speaker 13 (02:45:42):
I do not, But I guess my question is how
do I, I guess, not be the lead and let
him take the lead. I don't know how to let
the rains go, the rains of what the reins of me?

Speaker 3 (02:45:57):
I guess who's saying, like, how do I him.

Speaker 13 (02:46:00):
To be the man that he was destined to be
when I've always been the one to take care of
everything for me?

Speaker 1 (02:46:09):
So the question is what are you feeling like you
have the need to take over or let the reins,
like what how are you showing up? First of all,
how long have you been in this relationship?

Speaker 3 (02:46:19):
About six months?

Speaker 4 (02:46:20):
Now?

Speaker 1 (02:46:21):
Six months? And then what do you feel that you're
doing that's not allowing him to take the lead.

Speaker 13 (02:46:28):
He says that I demasculine him.

Speaker 1 (02:46:30):
That's good, But.

Speaker 13 (02:46:32):
I guess the way I speak to him based on
previous traumas that he's had.

Speaker 1 (02:46:37):
Is that is that previous traumas or the way you
talk to him?

Speaker 13 (02:46:40):
I couldn't tell you, because you know what used to
being by myself. So the way I talk to him
is the way I would talk to anybody. It's not
I'm not giving us like a specific oh like you're
my man, I'm talking to you differently than how I
would talk to anybody else.

Speaker 1 (02:46:55):
So has anybody ever said that you speak to them
extremely harsh? No, So no one has ever said that.
So when he says something to you the way you
say it to him, does he stop you in the
tracks and say you see how you just said that
to me?

Speaker 4 (02:47:10):
No?

Speaker 13 (02:47:10):
He waits till like later on, when he's feeling some
type of way to bring up that he feels like
I've demasculated him, demasculated him, and.

Speaker 1 (02:47:21):
You have no reference when you think back on what
you're saying, what he's saying. You don't have no understanding
of what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (02:47:28):
I mean, I'm a rough woman as it is.

Speaker 1 (02:47:30):
See right there, right there, right there, s he's a
breakthrough right there. It's a breakthrough right there. I felt
the release happened right there when you said I'm right there.
It came you said, I am a tough woman. You
just said it. So the way that your natural heart
posture is, you just said some key things. I've been
by myself, by myself all this time, been five years,
I've been single. Now I got somebody. I'm used to

(02:47:52):
talking a certain way. I'm a tough woman. That's where
you have to listen to yourself and talk soft. You
gotta go get a one mentor or something that's that
that can like women. I believe that women are great
for women. So go ahead and talk to your your
first lady right here. She can she can help you
through that because you identify some things that you just said.

(02:48:13):
You said, I'm a tough woman. A lot of men
don't want women that come at them like that. I
feel like they dating their homeboy. You know what I'm saying,
It just don't feel good. So at the end of
the day, you got to talk to himself, you know
what I'm saying. And so, but you you you touch
on some key stuff and you actually started off saying,
how do I let him pretty much lead, which automatically

(02:48:33):
lets you know that you don't feel comfortable letting them lead.
And so if you automatically don't feel comfortable letting them lead,
guess what, you're being the one that's carrying more of
the masculine energy in the relationship and he's wanting a
feminine Women and men don't just come out and say
you're masculating them using words like that unless you're actually
emasculating them. You know what I'm saying. He don't watch

(02:48:55):
something and and told him that's what that's what she's doing.
That's exactly you know, you're masculating me. You know what
I'm saying. He did some research for that, you know
what I'm saying, because he said he could have just
said you acting like a dude right now, you know
what I'm saying. But he used a good word to masculate.
He used a PhD word, right there. So, so you
got to make sure that you you you understand that,

(02:49:17):
and like I said, get a woman mentor to help you.
You know what I'm saying. And so do you do
you provide that lady in the call.

Speaker 2 (02:49:23):
I'd be happy to help you with that because a
lot of men they don't want to be talked at.
They just don't. You just have to and I think
you can get your point across without being rough. That
doesn't mean you're being a pushover or anything like that. Uh,
I just nick tone is very important. And I can
say my son he just recently told us, you know,

(02:49:45):
in a relationship that he was in. This is my
oldest son and he had a sweet girlfriend. And he
called me and I said, what happened?

Speaker 4 (02:49:51):
We not together?

Speaker 2 (02:49:52):
I said why? He said, she's just too manly for me.
And I said, what is that? What is that? He so,
I don't like, don't talk to me like that. I
wouldn't raise like that. He said, you would always get
your point across without talking at us. I have two
big boys, you know, and I have a daughter, but
I never demean them, or I don't demean my husband.

(02:50:13):
I'm not going to talk at him because that starts
what's going on now, and and people getting in their
feelings and things like that. So I just think when
it's more to it, hey, you can set up and
say that you have to say, but other than that,
just watch how you deliver it. Most men are looking
for something. I feel that it's a little soft when
it's necessary and then be strong when it's necessary.

Speaker 1 (02:50:37):
Yeah, that's good to help you.

Speaker 5 (02:50:39):
Yeah, go ahead, Yeah, so I'm sorry, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (02:50:43):
Quick question you still want to talk to you passed away?

Speaker 5 (02:50:45):
Passed a real quick so as far as you said,
your boyfriend and he said he was triggered by some
of the ways you were talking to him from his
previousans with mom.

Speaker 4 (02:50:56):
Okay, got it. So have you kind of.

Speaker 5 (02:51:00):
Dug deeper and asked more questions for him and giving
him a safe space to kind of tell you his
traumas and where that comes from or to just surface
it's just from my mother and she just talked this way,
then you can really get into it.

Speaker 13 (02:51:10):
I'm he's had moments to sit and talk to me
about his past as far as like growing up in
his childhood and same with me because our childhoods were
completely different.

Speaker 5 (02:51:22):
So he said He's had opportunities to give you that,
But have you asked questions like, hey, how did this
make you feel at this age?

Speaker 4 (02:51:29):
Or where does this think you're coming from?

Speaker 5 (02:51:30):
Have you seen someone else and talk to it, because
and the reason I'm saying that if you haven't done that,
If you're doing it, great, wonderful. But a man he
hears that, our guard comes down right, and then I'm
able to really tell you what's going on and where
this is coming from. If you sometimes dismiss it because
a lot of men are taught to like, all right,

(02:51:51):
just get over just the push ups, you'll be all right, like,
and those types of things are being dispelled now because
we need more of an understanding where we come from.
So I'm saying all as to say, if you give
him more of that, then that's a softer side and
then you can understand him a little bit better.

Speaker 4 (02:52:05):
That's just mine.

Speaker 13 (02:52:05):
I don't think I'm necessarily like dismissing it. I just
feel like I don't want to dig too deep to
where it puts him in a shell that he doesn't
even want to talk about it.

Speaker 1 (02:52:15):
But you made that up, So you made that up
in your head. The fact that that's my assumption.

Speaker 6 (02:52:20):
But that's how Homeboy's talking. It shows you care though.
You talk to me about it, man, and then you'll
tell me about it. Otherwise you may not ever tell
me about it if I don't ever say, hey, man,
you know you could talk to me about that.

Speaker 4 (02:52:31):
You know it happened to me too, or whatever. You know.

Speaker 1 (02:52:33):
Yeah, because you just said that he actually told you
about childhood trauma. That's a moment to be like, hey,
would you like to talk about that?

Speaker 12 (02:52:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:52:39):
I mean yeah, and he'll start talking to you. But
if you if you act like you're not interested, he
can't do nothing but assume that you're not interested, he
lets you do. And you got to think of something
that is the biggest thing. You're in a committed relationship
with him, meaning you said for five years you didn't
have anybody, So you did something right in order for
him to commit to you. Now it's time to cultivate

(02:53:01):
that relationship so that if this is a person that
God intended for you to be with, y'all gonna have
to go through it anyway. Y'all gonna have to talk
about all that stuff in order to get to marriage.
And see a lot of times we're wanting certain things
out of a person that we're not showing up for
to be that meaning that we want a husband when
we're not showing up as a wife. I may want
a wife and I'm not showing up as a husband.

(02:53:22):
And so in order to get to that place, you
got to start having those uncomfortable conversations because if you
can't have it now, you can't have it later. So
get through those conversations. Talk to him, and let him
be the one to say, you know what, I don't
want to talk about that. Hey, listen, whenever you're open
and you want to talk about it, I just want
you to know I'm really concerned about you and I
would love for you to share that with me. Even

(02:53:42):
if he walks away from that conversation, she'd be like, dang,
nobody has never said that to me. And he's gonna
come to you later on and have that conversation and
then you just pass another heart place in him to
get a deeper place in his heart. That would be
a beautiful moment. I can't wait here the testimony of that,
So thank you so much.

Speaker 6 (02:53:58):
Can I just say one thing, as incredible as li
tericists put that I think when a woman says that
to her man, it's even more incredible in that moment.

Speaker 1 (02:54:07):
Yes, absolutely, absolutely, go ahead Queen.

Speaker 4 (02:54:11):
O.

Speaker 2 (02:54:13):
Hi everyone.

Speaker 3 (02:54:14):
I am Daphne.

Speaker 16 (02:54:16):
I am.

Speaker 1 (02:54:18):
Like we had an AA meeting.

Speaker 2 (02:54:22):
I am a member of DC three.

Speaker 16 (02:54:25):
I actually have a testimony in words of encouragement to Jessica.
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with stage four coreo
corsiona councer.

Speaker 3 (02:54:35):
And you can get this cancer.

Speaker 16 (02:54:37):
From abortions and miscarriages. Abortions, miscarriages and being pregnant in general.
I had the counsel started in my uterus and it
spread it to my chest, to my lungs into my head,
so it was very aggressive. I had multiple blood transfusions.

(02:54:59):
I took four different keymos weekly. However, when I was
first informed of it, it was the day before Christmas,
actually December twenty four, twenty twenty two, and once I
received that information at one time, I believe that I
had it.

Speaker 2 (02:55:19):
Within five months, I was cancer free. I had two thank.

Speaker 16 (02:55:27):
I had my peak line got infected, so it built
up a bacteria in my knees called a seratio. So
I had two knee surgeries on both knees, so my
bones in my knees. It's a RoboN bone to bone
and by the grace of God, I made it. And

(02:55:47):
I heard you talking about cancer and I'm like, keep
the fake that you have because I got through it
and you will too. And God is just so amazing
because people was.

Speaker 3 (02:56:07):
Planning in my funeral.

Speaker 8 (02:56:09):
But then at chary time.

Speaker 16 (02:56:10):
I'm praising God because I'm like, this is just the challenge.

Speaker 2 (02:56:15):
It's something God want me to see.

Speaker 16 (02:56:17):
It's something that the enemy is trying to hander me
from saying. And as I like, just this past Sunday,
I call a revelation with me joining the church, Gosh Church.
So I rededicated my life and a lot of things

(02:56:38):
that I used to do I no longer do anymore
because I'm allowing God to lead and I'm trusting him
and sometimes it's very challenging, but I'm just grateful that
I am getting through it, and I just want you
to know you will get.

Speaker 2 (02:56:55):
Through it too.

Speaker 1 (02:56:56):
Amen. Amen, you want to say something.

Speaker 3 (02:57:00):
To me, thank you, I want to. I want to
let you know I appreciate that. And I want you
to know that faith sounds like something, it walks like something,
it talks like something. I believe without my heart. I'm well,
so I walk like it, I talk like it, I
move like it. I laugh like it. I smile like it.

(02:57:24):
Doubt also looks like something being unsure. It sounds like something.
I make sure that that's not present around me. If
I hear it in somebody when they're talking to me,
they're talking to themselves. I don't want to be in
the environment. I keep a safe environment. I am. I

(02:57:45):
love faith. It's opportunity for God to keep moving for me.
I love faith, so I thank you. You'll be just
fine if you want to be and if you don't,
you won't. If you want to be happy, you're gonna
be happy. God will be done. I don't get to
choose how my life is gonna go and what God's
will be done. I fully submit with joy. God's will

(02:58:10):
be done. I'm not fighting to cling to life here
on earth. It's temporary. If my death means more than
me living, God's will be done. If me living God, Hey,
I'm with it. Letting all of that go. It allows
me to be in rest. I ain't clinging to nothing whatever.

(02:58:37):
I don't care, and I don't know how else to
say that. I don't care. God's will be done. He
loves me, he has chosen me for whatever he wants.
I am fully submitted to that. Do your think. Let's
enjoy this. I'm gonna smile. So don't cry. You sound
like you don't cry? Be happy? Faith, sound like something? Okay?

Speaker 1 (02:58:59):
Yeah, Oh, tears of joy. Here's a joy. That's a
that's a testimony. That's a miracle. That's a walking miracle.
Right there, a walking miracle. Joey and Queen.

Speaker 2 (02:59:11):
Hello, I'm Ebony and I'm from Fort Worth.

Speaker 12 (02:59:15):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (02:59:16):
I have a question for you, Jessica.

Speaker 17 (02:59:19):
I'm actively seeking to I'm actively seeing. I'm actively seeking
to possess a value, the possessive value.

Speaker 1 (02:59:26):
Can you do your favorite tilt the microphone down? Yes,
I can hear you.

Speaker 3 (02:59:29):
Yes, Okay, I have.

Speaker 17 (02:59:30):
A question for you, Jessica.

Speaker 1 (02:59:36):
She said, I'm starting all the way over. Here's my notes.
This is the order of service.

Speaker 3 (02:59:41):
Go ahead, okay.

Speaker 17 (02:59:45):
I'm actively seeking to possess values of a Proverbs thirty
one woman. How can I apply these characteristics this day
in time?

Speaker 1 (02:59:57):
You asked, Jessica that question.

Speaker 3 (02:59:58):
Yes, that's that stuff talking about what tells Hey, as
long as there's proof, y'all recording this. Wow, here's the deal.
You can do nothing. What do you don't come with
a manual? You need Jesus. Worship God, spend time with God,

(03:00:19):
speak in tongues, shut everything out, and just worship. It
shows you how to submit. It shows you how to serve.
It builds a patience. It makes you know how to
dig deep within yourself and say God, search the innermost parts.
It reveals yourself to yourself. It reveals how much God
loves you and how much you don't love God. It's humbling.

(03:00:41):
The presence of God is everything you need. It's nothing
outside of yourself that you can prep to be A
proverb thirty one? Who is that? That was a mother
telling her son at vice. But this mother was submitted
to the Lord. She was virtuous. She was speaking of herself.

(03:01:03):
I can't give myself virtue. I'm dirty. I can't claim myself.
Look at men, I'm dirty. Look at my flesh. It
comes up, it disappears, it tall, it pears its head,
and it what am I? I can't give you no advice.
The Holy Spirit, it leads it gods, It directs the

(03:01:24):
blood of Jesus, It purifies Father, God, authority, God, protective, God.
Once you learn how to be led by God, you
will be You will be perfect for a man. And
you'll also know how to respect authority. You'll know how

(03:01:45):
to recognize authority because you've been under it. That's that
everything you need as a woman to be prepared to
be a wife, a woman of all the things. It's
just God, it's Jesus.

Speaker 4 (03:02:02):
Nobody can teach you this.

Speaker 3 (03:02:03):
Your mama, she it's gonna be lace with stuff. You
know what I'm saying. She gonna lace it with her
own experience Jesus when I pray. Girl, Look, let me
tell you. I tell God everything. I don't care what
I did. If I dug get my nose, I'd be like,
let me tell you. I was in the car, I

(03:02:25):
felt that.

Speaker 4 (03:02:25):
Not right there.

Speaker 3 (03:02:26):
I was like, do I get it? Do I have tissue?
Is this a thumfer day or not? He's my friend.
I don't withhold anything, And you know what, that makes
me a great communicator. I am trained when I'm with God.

(03:02:48):
So you want to be everything. God's presence is the training.
Learn how to talk with him, kick it with him.
He picks my clothes. I'm like, I wanna put this
shirt here, like you ain't gonna light that shirt. You're
gonna be sitting up like this all day. Slaucher, all right, cool,
He's everything for me because I'm submitted. I'm submitted, okay,

(03:03:10):
So I can't give you no advice. All right?

Speaker 1 (03:03:13):
You just did that was beautiful. That was beautiful. That
was beautiful. No, that was beautiful advice.

Speaker 4 (03:03:18):
It was really beautiful. Yeah, that was real good.

Speaker 1 (03:03:20):
I like that. Yeah, all right, thank you so much
if that means I chief good. What how the air
bound this stage, She's gonna ask you about proverb thirty
one woman, you go a head. I had the whole
first lady up here, and I'll asked you how the
air bound this day had a woman that was forty
five years old when she gave up a virginity. But

(03:03:41):
she asked you that is something else, boy, something else?
Go ahead? What's your question? Comment concerned? Prairie quest? What
is it?

Speaker 2 (03:04:02):
Okay?

Speaker 7 (03:04:02):
So I brought this down as low as I thought
it would go. So my name is Kayla. I'm twenty seven.
I just moved here from Alabama and I'm in the
Air Force and that's what brought me here.

Speaker 1 (03:04:13):
Good welcome and thank you for fighting for our country.
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 7 (03:04:19):
With that being said, what you say, I.

Speaker 8 (03:04:25):
Said, we fight you so.

Speaker 1 (03:04:27):
Exactly.

Speaker 7 (03:04:30):
So with that trans just being about transitions, I realized
that I've accomplished.

Speaker 1 (03:04:35):
Go closer to the microphone, please, but yes, okay, better, yes, okay.

Speaker 7 (03:04:39):
So I realized I've accomplished a lot with my age,
on my background, new moves, military, all of that, and
I feel like God brought me here for something. Not
the military, no shade to them, but I know it's
more than just.

Speaker 8 (03:04:53):
The air Force.

Speaker 2 (03:04:54):
But I don't really know what that is yet.

Speaker 7 (03:04:57):
And although I have like that foundation in God, like
my dad as a minister, come from a biblical family,
all of that great stuff, I don't really feel connected here.

Speaker 8 (03:05:09):
And I'm trying to.

Speaker 7 (03:05:09):
Figure out how if you guys have any advice on
getting realigned, to try to figure out what brought me
here and what God may.

Speaker 4 (03:05:17):
Have for me in this chapter?

Speaker 1 (03:05:18):
Are you connected with a church here?

Speaker 4 (03:05:22):
No?

Speaker 1 (03:05:23):
Well, it takes so long you think about it?

Speaker 3 (03:05:26):
Well, I said it.

Speaker 7 (03:05:27):
I don't think the microphone called it though, Oh.

Speaker 1 (03:05:29):
Would you say? No?

Speaker 4 (03:05:30):
No?

Speaker 1 (03:05:31):
Okay? So, and how long you been here?

Speaker 8 (03:05:36):
Too long?

Speaker 1 (03:05:37):
Too long? And so is there a particular reason have
you do you visit churches or or like what is that?
Do you feel the need to be connected to the
local church.

Speaker 8 (03:05:48):
I would like to.

Speaker 7 (03:05:50):
So when I first got here, I got sick, so
I was kind of in the house for the first
little while, and then I found out I had to
compromise immune system, and then some more stuff, and then
I started going through stuff with my job. So I've
kind of been like to myself outside of that, and
I'm getting into the stage to where now I kind
of want to be outside, but it's high outside, so.

Speaker 1 (03:06:13):
Class. Would you like to invite her to Sunday service.

Speaker 4 (03:06:19):
To DC three great air condition?

Speaker 6 (03:06:22):
Let me say this pristine, pristine Antarctic Alaskan Santa claus Is,
December twenty fourth, towards the night.

Speaker 1 (03:06:36):
I don't know what you talk about. What I'm saying,
would you like to invite us? She says she doesn't
have a church home, okay, and she's from Alabama. Well,
let me do like this transition. We'll be talking about
this this whole weekend and one. We're glad to have
you here in Texas. Let's give old Texas welcome because
change can be difficult.

Speaker 11 (03:06:55):
You seem like you're gone through several things even when
you got here, and it can be confusing. And one
of the things, like I just say briefly, when I
was leaving, when I was in college in Huntsville, I
just knew God called me to come to Dallas, and
I didn't know why. I discovered it as I connected
to a church, continue to pursue my education and just

(03:07:19):
continue to grow, And through serving at church and building
relationships and having my own personal time, community helped me
discover why I was here. And I think that's one
of the things we're talking about, is being a part
of community. So you being here tonight is not by accident, right,
There's a divine assignment for God for your life. So

(03:07:43):
once we do want to invite you to come and
be a part, you already are here. You know where
you are. We love you here. They can't tell you
what that oh yeah, yeah, yeah, So that excuse is washed.
You met the pastor and the wife so we could
talk with you afterwards. It just hey, But at the

(03:08:03):
end of the day I tell people that, hey, go
where you feel you are led, but go somewhere and
church is not gonna save you, but it will help
develop you. Right, so I'll just say that and that
will begin now. As it helps you align and understand
your purpose in God, then can begin to give you
direction or you can fulfill the purpose He has a

(03:08:24):
sign for you and have peace in this area of
your life.

Speaker 1 (03:08:28):
Amen. So thank you so much. I appreciate you. Listen.
I asked Jessica to sing a song to lead us out,
but I have to apologize. She said she ain't gonna
sing unless I apologize to her on the microphone. So
I'm sorry, Jessica for all the bad things I said
to you during this episode, and I'll never do it

(03:08:48):
again today. Tomorrow I may start back, but today I'll
never do it again. I'm sorry, Jessica. So can you
please sing a song for the people of God?

Speaker 4 (03:08:59):
Amen? All right?

Speaker 3 (03:09:02):
All right, don't stare at me, I'll get nervous. Thanks.
Still looking Hi?

Speaker 17 (03:09:08):
All right?

Speaker 3 (03:09:09):
The song that I told the terrace I was gonna
sing because he wanted me to sing some song that
he played from the CCMs channel. I don't know the lyrics,
so I'm gonna sing one that we should all know.
You gave me my hands to reach out to me.
Show them your love, and you'll perfect plan you gave

(03:09:37):
me my yes, I can hear your voice so clear,
I can hear the crises of sinners. But can I
wipe away that tease? You gave me my voice to

(03:09:57):
sing your words, to tell of all your praises to
those who never. But with my eyes I see the
need for more availability. Lorty, I hear hearts that have

(03:10:20):
been broken, so many people to be free. So Lord,
I'm available to you. My will, I give to you,

(03:10:42):
and I'll do what you say.

Speaker 4 (03:10:45):
Do.

Speaker 3 (03:10:47):
Use me, Lord to show someone the way. And it
ain'tble me to say my storeage is empty. And I
am available to you. Now I'm giving back to you

(03:11:18):
all those twos you gave to me my hands, my ears,
my voice, my eyes, so you can use the mask
you please. I have emptied on my cold so that

(03:11:39):
you can feel me. Now I'm free. I just want
to be more available to you. So Lord, I'm a

(03:11:59):
vail the bowl to you, my weird I kill to you,
and I'll do what you say.

Speaker 1 (03:12:14):
Do.

Speaker 3 (03:12:15):
Please, use me, Lord to show someone of the way.
And it ain't you for me to say my store
ridge is empty. Yeah, my store ridge is empty. My

(03:12:41):
store rage his empty. And I am of a bowl
to you.

Speaker 12 (03:12:56):
Hallelujah.

Speaker 1 (03:13:15):
Isn't she awesome? Her voice just arrests you. She has
such an anointing in the timbre of her voice. Just
absolutely amazing. God, Thank you, Jessica, Thank you for allowing
God to use you. Anybody want to get saved, anybody

(03:13:37):
want to get saved. I don't want to close this out.
If you know that you want to give your life
to Christ today and we're at a church, wei, the
doors of the church are open if you want to
get saved. You know I'm old school. If you want
to get saved, just walk down to the altar and
we're going to walk you through the sinner's prairie. If
you feel like if you were to die right now,
you would not go to heaven. Roma's ten ninety ten says,

(03:13:58):
if you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ's Lord,
and believe in your heart that God raised them from
the dead, then thou shall be saved. And so I
always want to extend the opportunity if you know that
you're living a wayward life, if you're living a life
of sin, not saying that you're not perfect, but the
Bible calls you righteous when you give your life to Christ,
meaning you're in right standing with him. And if you

(03:14:20):
want to give your life to Jesus Christ right now,
we want to allow you to come down to this
altar and give your life to Christ. So everybody saved.
Y'all good, y'all good, and everybody save. Everybody say all right,
all right, all right, we're good. Listen, Pastor King, thank you,
thank you for creating the atmosphere. He said something so generous.

(03:14:45):
I was asking him. I was like, what is the
time allotment? He was like, it's Friday night, Just however
long you want to go. I was like, well, I'm
just gonna do about two hours and we're done. He said,
you ain't got to do two hours. Just let pretty
much the Holy Spirit do what the Holy Spirit does.
And it's almost eleven clock. Can y'all believe that we've
been sitting here since seven point thirty I got to
use the bathroom and everything. We just been sitting here

(03:15:07):
and for all these hours. And I shouldn't have drunk
their water before I came on stage because it's coming
back with vengeance. But listen, but thank you so much
for creating this atmosphere.

Speaker 11 (03:15:19):
Man.

Speaker 1 (03:15:19):
He has a heart to serve young adults, knowing that
we need spaces like this. So this event kept a
lot of y'all out of trouble, didn't it, Uh huh?
Because you know typically when you at home and you
you know, you idled, you know, idle minds the devil's workshop.
And so I love that you allowed this to take place,

(03:15:41):
and so thank you so much, first Lady and Pastor King.
I appreciate all that y'all do here in the De
Soto Metroplex helping to make Christ known and to amplify
the Bible. Thank y'all so much. Give it up for
these amazing panelists for their transfer, parency, their vulnerability. I

(03:16:02):
thank y'all so much. I speak blessings over yall life.
That's pretty much. You want to say anything before we
close out?

Speaker 11 (03:16:09):
Yeah, this is just the first day tomorrow, Brandon, who
you had saying about tomorrow? Can we give it up
for our young adult team who help put this together.
It's a weekend, so I want you to go ahead
quickly and share Brandon, what is taking place in the morning.
It's gonna be some exciting things. And then Sunday morning,
go ahead real quick, all right.

Speaker 18 (03:16:31):
Y'all give it up for the pend on this panel.
Let's give it up on real quick, real quick. Tomorrow morning.
Doors are opening up at nine am on tomorrow. It's
gonna be an amazing time. We have our community choir that
is actually doing a concert in the morning, so you
want to be here for that.

Speaker 1 (03:16:46):
That's gonna be great.

Speaker 18 (03:16:47):
After that concert is over, we're gonna go into our
general Session period on tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (03:16:53):
General Session.

Speaker 18 (03:16:54):
We got amazing, amazing speakers coming that's gonna be tomorrow
and pasting put up.

Speaker 3 (03:17:00):
On the tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (03:17:03):
Oh tomorrow, Yeah, give them the topic.

Speaker 1 (03:17:04):
So tomorrow.

Speaker 12 (03:17:07):
I got.

Speaker 4 (03:17:09):
If a concert. They're not gonna be singing all morning.

Speaker 11 (03:17:11):
No, not all morning, two three songs. They we're not
getting up in the morning. They're here, but hell, you're Jackson.
We just it's gonna just get us started. So they
were clarify that we're like concert, really no, we're not
doing that.

Speaker 12 (03:17:26):
No.

Speaker 1 (03:17:27):
So so tomorrow we will be.

Speaker 18 (03:17:32):
We will be in the general Sessions. It's gonna be
talking about the power of change, elevating decision making, making
moves without regrets. We're gonna be also dealing with the fear,
dealing with your fear, also opportunities for growth. So all

(03:17:53):
of these different things will be happening on tomorrow in
the general Session, and at the end we're gonna have
Q and guess what else is gonna happen during the
Q and A period on tomorrow. You will be able
to eat your lunch and food during that Q and
A time and ask those questions. So please come back
on tomorrow. And also we're gonna have vendors in the building,
y'all give it up. Our vendors that's gonna be here tomorrow,

(03:18:15):
so you'll be able to patronize them and connect with them.
So we got all those great things happening on tomorrow,
so please come. Doors is opening up at nine am tomorrow,
So y'all come tomorrow and let's have a great time.
And then Sunday gonna be the close out, but we'll
talk more about that on tomorrow as we close out.

Speaker 1 (03:18:32):
All right, y'all good, all right?

Speaker 11 (03:18:35):
And then last thing, could y'all help me do something
because here it is. I've been doing this a while,
and I know when you're going out and pouring into
people across the country, across the world, and La Teris
has been doing this for a long time, and this
Dear Future Wifey podcast all the blessings that come with it,
attacks come with it too, right, and you can try

(03:18:58):
to keep a good spirit about it even with the
whole engagement piece.

Speaker 4 (03:19:03):
That's that man business who he gonna marry.

Speaker 11 (03:19:05):
He's letting you see a hand, be thankful for the hand, right.
And so here's what I'm saying, I really I value
the work you put into this because of people don't
know the work you put into it, the prayer you
put into it.

Speaker 4 (03:19:20):
It's intentional, and.

Speaker 11 (03:19:21):
That's why we allow it to take place at the church,
because I know his heart. But I want us to
do something. I don't want us just to be takers.
I want us to also be givers. So if you
could come forward and stretch your hands toward the terrorists,
and let's pray over him that God blesses his marriage
and God blesses this podcast to do greater than he

(03:19:45):
ever expected.

Speaker 4 (03:19:46):
Can we do that? Did you have anything else before? All? Right?

Speaker 11 (03:19:50):
Can we give him a hand to everybody? Thank everybody,
Thank all of y'all. We thank all of y'all for.

Speaker 4 (03:19:56):
What you're doing. So just stretch your hands toward.

Speaker 11 (03:20:00):
And those who want to come up here and put
your hands on him.

Speaker 4 (03:20:04):
We believe God. I do.

Speaker 11 (03:20:06):
While you while it's okay to come forward, you can
move from your seat. I do want to thank all
of you all. I want you to hear the fact
that the reason we do this, and while the Terris
is doing this, it may sound challenging, it may sound
a little rough, but the reason I speak the way
I speak to you is because I know what happens

(03:20:29):
behind closed doors. I know we got to deal with
and we sit down, and this man right here has
gone through a lot.

Speaker 4 (03:20:38):
I've seen him in door lot. We haven't talked, but
I've watched him, and I.

Speaker 11 (03:20:43):
Thank God for his life. And so let's pray. Father,
we thank you for this brother la Terris, which feel that.
We thank you for how you've crafted and created him.

Speaker 4 (03:20:55):
We thank you for the vision that you've given him.

Speaker 11 (03:20:58):
We thank God that he is open and transparent about
his life and about his journey because he realizes he's
nothing without you, and so he can be open in
private and that's why you can use him with annointed
in public. We thank you right now God for his
journey as a man. We thank you for his journey

(03:21:20):
as a man of God. God, we thank you God
that even in his best days and even in his
worst days, You've been there for every last one. We
thank you for the things that he had to go
through to be a blessing to so many other people.
So even right now, God, we thank you. We celebrate
with him all the success that has happened in his

(03:21:41):
life and all the success that has happened with this podcast.
We thank you for every person that's been touched, those
he will never meet, those who have come to Christ
that he will never meet, to against of heaven, whose
lives have been helped and transition in a positive way
he will never meet. Thank you for the impact he
will never know until he sees you face to face.

(03:22:03):
But even right now, God, we thank you, right now
God for his life, and we thank you God for
this new transition in his life, the transition from being
married to divorce. That now, God, this transition is journey
of being one with someone else. We thank you God
that even in the days to come, God, as preparations
are taking place, as their planning, as they're talking, as

(03:22:24):
they're communicating, God, we thank you right now God that
we are you will continue to cover him from the
public that doesn't need to know what needs to be
private and help him and her.

Speaker 4 (03:22:37):
Help them get to know one another, Help them.

Speaker 11 (03:22:39):
Find spaces God where they don't have to have it
on the internet and have it in public. Help them
have private times to build strong behind the scenes, so
that when when they step out in public, no weapon
formed against them shall be able to prosper. We thank
you right now for peace in their communication. We thank
you right now for love in their relationship. We think

(03:23:00):
you right now for their finances that will continue to flow.
We thank you for their faith that they will grow
together in every single way. We thank you right now
God that you're gonna open doors that they never thought
could be open. And God, in this transition in their lives,
blow their minds. Blow their minds so much God that
they can't even stand it. Blow their minds that one

(03:23:22):
day they'll just stand and look at each other and
tears will come because they can't imagine what a God
can love them like this. We thank you right now
God for every person that's here today. We thank you
God for those who are single, those who are married,
those who are in transition, those who have desires of
their heart, those on the panel. They could have been
anywhere else, but you crafted us to be here tonight.

(03:23:45):
And for that, right now, God, I thank you for
peace for every person that's here. I thank you for healing,
for every person that's here. I thank you for a
direction for every person that's here. And matter of fact, God,
we're not gonna take anything else from you. Right now,
here's the we're going to do. We're gonna lift our
hands and just tell you, thank you. Thank you for
being such a kind God. Thank you for being such

(03:24:07):
a faithful God. Thank you for being such a forgiving God.
Thank you for being such a healing God. Thank you
for being.

Speaker 4 (03:24:14):
A God who's never turned his back on us. We
honor you in this place.

Speaker 11 (03:24:20):
We honor you with our lives, and we give you
glory today for being God. We love you, We thank you.
It's in the mighty name of Jesus. We do pray.
All God's people say Amen, Amen, God, bless you.

Speaker 1 (03:24:41):
Ladarien thrust it suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen,
my nephew, Black a boy the likelihood have been adopted
outside of kinship slim to none Ourmione, sixteen years old,
Black a boy with five years years in the Falter
care system before I even knew his name. The likelihood

(03:25:04):
of ever being adopted, Yep, you guessed it slim to none.
While Laderian and our MONI were trying to survive and
barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system,
I was living my own life, doing well professionally, having
been a single father with a daughter who at that
point was doing well in college. It was my time

(03:25:24):
to live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.
There are just too many of our Black children stuck
in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falter care system.
In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast
forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

(03:25:46):
other young king, but I felt God instructed me to
adopt him also in il Babe, starting over with parenting
should have been enough. Right, Working with various foster care
and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless
young Black kings the Falster care system should have decreased
my agitation right joining the board of directors of Advantage
of Adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes

(03:26:10):
for children in falseter care should have led to some
type of resolve. Right, No, not at all. None of
it felt like I had done enough. I now realized
that every one of those experiences was land the fundamental
foundation for my life's mission. Kingdom Royale. Kingdom Royal would

(03:26:30):
be a luxury, state of the art home for foster boys.
Our first location will be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex.
We will utilize the whole person approach that instills identity,
empowers them to advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding
new perspectives and limitless options that they thought were impossible.

(03:26:50):
Though the young Kings will attend the local public schools
that are in proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home
curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the art arts,
attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted
discussions about current events and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing
them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our

(03:27:13):
animals on our form and on site stables. We just
launched our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising
two point eight million dollars. Now why two point eight
million dollars? Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a web
series in which I performed random acts of kindness for
targeting the homeless community. One of the most notable successes
was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty

(03:27:36):
eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is
that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in
implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So
throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that I'm
not maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time
just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

(03:27:57):
would have raised at least two point five eight million
dollars that could have really established long term support for
the homeless community, or at least started a long term
initiative to do so. This is my due over, this
is our new beginning. Together, we can attack this at
the route by specifically helping our homeless Black boys who

(03:28:19):
are already disproportionately represented in the American fossil care system.
I'm a Terisarwickfield. I've been nominated for three regional Emmys
documenting my work with the homeless, as well as my
personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades, the greatest award for
me is truly providing the infrastructure for a transformed life.

(03:28:41):
Visit Kingdom Royal dot com for more details, crown a
king and make a donation today. I hope you enjoyed
this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit,
live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving. Make sure

(03:29:04):
to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel.
We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.
We welcome your support. Simply share our podcast with your
friends and family.

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