Are Age Gaps Class Coded or Creepy? ChemRIZZtry, Curveball Crushing & Casting

Hey lifers!
Poppy has popped out! She’s just the cutest! Next week we will have an episode with Laura about Poppy’s birth. Britt is always *rooting for long distance relationships. She’s been over to see Ben in Italy and been reminded that she found herself a bit of a chefing unicorn! She’s also made a friend over in Italy despite one big difference between them.

Do you have a friend who looks really put together and tidy on the outside of their home, but on the inside it’s a complete mess? That’s our girl Britt and she’s got a new air fryer hack for you.

Keeshia was given 3 minutes to talk about the rugby league grand final and she’s calling BS on some of the headlines that are always printed after any grand final entertainment performance. Do you think having big international acts like Teddy Swims and Snoop Dog is a good thing or should we only feature Aussie artists?

There are 5 new dating trends predicted for 2026:

• ChemRIZZtry
• Curveball-crushing
• Love-loreing
• Truecasting
• StAtuS-flexing

We also share a story that we’ve kept private for 4 years about the very worst guy Keeshia ever dated. Hopefully she is alone in this experience. 

Victoria Beckham posted a photo from her Paris Fashion show that led to people questioning whether her 20 year old son’s relationship with a 29 year old woman was ‘weird’. We speak about whether the ‘issue’ is actually a timeline gap and if our views on age gaps are class coded. We also chat about which attachment styles are more likely to end up in age gap relationships and why society seems to freak out when a woman is the older partner. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
welcome back to another episode of Life one Cut. I'm
Brittany and I'm Keisha, And Laura has popped the badge
that it's not even saying, is it alone? Has popped? That?

(00:24):
Is that how you want to start our episode? Laura
has popped Poppy, Poppy, Poppy is better. Poppy has popped out.
So Keisha is feeling in for a little while for
Laura because she has finally had the little baby. We're
not going to talk too much about it because Laura
is going to come back and do a birth episode
next week.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
I think, yeah, she's just the cutest when I saw
the first photos of her. And I hate it that
some people I've heard when you have a baby that
they don't like it if they're like, oh my gosh,
it looks so much like you, or it looks like
your partner.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
But I will admit that this baby kind of looks
like a Lola two point zero. It is Lola.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Fortunate for the baby, because Lola is about the cutest
thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
I honestly, do you think that nest too? Did you
think she looks like Lola? You don't see it. The
second Laura messaged me, I said, that's Lola. Yeah, I
cannot see anything in her no matter what angle it
is other than Lola. She seems super cute. We haven't
met her yet. Yeah, no, I facetimed, don we're pretty close,
pretty right. She doesn't do much. Just don't think she
even opened her eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm sure it was the highlight of her day. I'm
sure that she'll be telling us about it in years
because I've just gotten back from a couple of weeks
over visiting Ben.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yeah, well we had It was weird and it was
perfect timing. Laura was having a baby, Radio was gonna
have a break. Let's all go and have a little break.
So I did finally go over to see Ben. I
say finally, As you guys know, it was three months
and I just feel like I know I say this
all the time. I root long distance. Well that's not
the right word, I long distance. I was gonna say,

(01:51):
like I root for long distance couples, or like I
root what's why? Why is root in my barrier? You
barry for, you cheer for?

Speaker 2 (01:58):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Like, what's that game went to build one word? It
sounds like two syllables, one syllable root, fuck screwed. You
defend long distance stuff, No, I'm like, I can't think
of the word whatever, Let's just say root. I root
for long distance relationship. This is why I think they're
actually not as bad as people make out, because it

(02:22):
just keeps the magic there and I feel like I'm
dating someone new every time, Like you know, those feelings
that you get when you've just met someone and the
chemistry's there and you're excited by it, and when the
text message comes, you're excited, and when you're going to
go on a date that night. You know, those like
early weeks of finding someone. That is a feeling that

(02:42):
is so hard to replicate, and it's only ever comes
when you've just met someone and you're like getting the
butterflies and stuff. But for I guess I'm going to
assume it's most people in long distance, but for us,
that happens every time, Like the nerves and excitement of
when you're going to see each other again, when you're
getting off the plane and they walk around the corner
for the first time, and then the dinners and the dates.
Everything is like you're I don't want to say starting again,

(03:05):
because you know each other inside out. But the boring
and I hate saying boring, but the monotony of everyday
life doesn't exist.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Do you also find that you like if there was
something that you maybe didn't like or that.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
You would typically quarrel about with a partner's fine, let
just let it go. Yeah, because it's not worth it. Oh,
there'd be staff if we were living together full time,
there'd be stuff that would but I would grind his
gears just as much. There's stuff that like, yeah, I've
lived with you, I know what you're like. Yeah, okay,
let's unpack that.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
What bothers your Keisha Bretty's kind of catch use your
words as your employer.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
The thing that I've phone quite interesting.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
About you is that you're so polished and put together
on the outside of your home, but on the inside
of the home.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
You haven't watched your air fray for three days. Three days,
I've watched it than three months.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Something's about brit They're really contradictory, and it's that you
can be you can be so put together, and I
would if I were to not know you personally, I
would assume that you would be like type A at
home super tidy.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Everything's neat, everything's got it spot. Sometimes you walk.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
In and I'm like, did you get robbed? Did they
find what they were looking for?

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Really? My rooms fucked to or if my rooms cooked?
You can't even get into my room. I have to
like step over things and leap to the bed, like
I have to like open the door and leap. In
my defense, I'm not gonna argue that too much. There's
some some truth to what you're saying. Okay, So firstly,
my air fryer, I use baking paper.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
So I that's why I feel like you don't need
to clean it as much because there's a as a lining.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
You know, I'm not just I'm not a psycho. I
don't just throw oil in and throw a pace of
chicken in like I'm not that disgusting. It's like it
feels like the immune system. Secondly, whilst we're sitting in
the air fryer, let's just sit here a minute. I
cannot you know what I'm gonna say. I don't know
what you're gonna say. I cannot say how much pleasure
it brought me, and I said I actually wrote back
to them and said I cannot wait to tell Keisha

(05:06):
and Laura. I got so many messages saying, not all
heroes where Cake's Brittany, but you should do thank you
for the egg in the air fryer tip. You know
how might you know? Hey, get the joy look up
your face. Nes I saw that. I saw that.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
I think my actual response to it was, this is
real bottom feeder content.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Bit it was, but I knew that would be so
valuable to somebody, and some of us are bottom feeders,
and I usually identify as that. And I'm sorry if
I'm highlighting the fact that.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Someone who's thrilled about using an air fry to cook
an egg.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
People literally messaged and sorry and just said bow down.
Life changing. And I said I'm going to screensh on.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
This and said it to girls anyway, You've been a
big enough person to admit when my ridiculous vibes were good.
So I need to accept the fact that this is
one of the moments where I was wrong.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Wait and you were right. Hang on, have you tried it? No?
I haven't tried. I've still got the egg.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Also, people message me about that, saying that they've got
an egg. Inc I think whether you have it or not,
some people don't understand what it is.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
To this day, I still have no idea what causes it.
I went in my life loving eggs. They're really good
for you.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
I think they're one of the most nutritionally packed things
as as like eggs are great.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Right one day, I do not know what happened.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
It's not like I had a bad one and I
got sick and then all of a sudden, it was
about a year ago. I just decided that I hated eggs.
I was like, oh no, I've got the eg for
like the smell, the texture. If someone put a runny
egg in front of me right now, I'd probably throw.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
I think it's when you eat something too much. So
I got the same thing and I'm trying to get
myself out of it, but I can't. You know what
mine is probably for about eight months is smoked salmon. Yes,
so like the fresh ways that you put on like
eggs and avocado. I ate that so much. That was
always my go to with for a breakfast and I

(06:57):
can't do it now and I've tried. I ordered it
not long ago and I had to take it off.
I was like, what's happened? But I think you eat
it too much and you like psych yourself out. Yeah,
I don't know. I don't know what cause is it,
But I also wonder what other foods people have X foot.
I'm sure we're going to pull this well. What I
was going to say is Italy was amazing and by
the you know, by the time you get there, you
basically jet lags the whole time. But it was really cool,

(07:18):
like we discovered so many new places. And I made
poor Ben like he's exhausted the whole time. He doesn't
have a day off. He works so hard and he
gets in the door and I make him go on
an adventure basically, and Ben is if Ben could come
back as an animal, he would come back as like
a slug. He like, when he's not training, he wants
to be horizontal on the lounge, relaxing. But I was like,

(07:39):
we were like adventure every afternoon. But I met for
the first time. I just like, haven't ever really met
his teammates, so it's all very when I'm there, he
goes to work and does his thing. And then they
had all the teammates hang out all the time in
the day, so they don't want to go and catch
up at night. So it's like I just never have
met them. A lot of the girlfriends over there Italian.

(08:01):
They didn't speak English, so for the first time I
met one of the girls. So Ben has this one
of his closest friends in the teams, and his girlfriend
was there from London. She was so sweet, so lovely,
and she picked me up to go and watch a game.
So she picked me up and we were hanging out
and driving around. It was cool, and I was like, oh,
I've met someone that's easy to get along with and whatever.
But she was like, oh my god, I just just

(08:23):
got married. And I was like, yes, we got married,
so exciting, blah blah blah. And she was like wow.
She's like, tell me about the proposal all this stuff.
So I was telling her and she's like, oh my god,
please please tell Ben to tell my partner because they've
been together for five years. She's like, please tell him
so we can get engaged. And I was like, so,
how ang you being together? She's like five years And
I was like, oh, so you're ready and she's like, yeah,

(08:44):
I'm ready. And I said how old are you? She said,
I'm twenty one and I was like, I was like, oh,
I know, you've been here five years. Do not rush it.
I was like, you have so much time. And I
was like, how old is he? And she's like, he's
twenty one as well? Oh their high school sweetheart. Yeah,
they're hig school sweethearts and they're so lovely. And I
was like, oh, and not that there's there's nothing wrong

(09:04):
with getting married at twenty one. That's not what I'm saying.
But I just thought she was a bit older. And
I was like, honestly, I was like, you don't feel
like you have to rush that. I was like, I
definitely didn't. She's like, yeah, but you're what twenty five
and you got married. Shit. She did not say you're
twenty five years old. Dude. She needs to go to
spit saying that's twenty five. And I was like, sorry,

(09:25):
twenty five? What did you say? And I was like,
can I get you to record? That's like, can play
it anyway. That's not what I'm saying. That was great compliment,
and I said, oh, I'm not twenty five. She was
like how old are you? And I said early to
mid to late thirties, said I'm thirty. I said thirty
seven and I was thirty eight I think I sounded better.
It's like I'm thirty seven. She's like what, She's like,

(09:47):
no way, anyway, this isn't I'm just leaning into this
cause I was like, fuck, yeah, it's what came after that.
And she's like, Howard's Ben And I was like, well,
Ben's younger than me, but he's thirty three. And she's like, fuck, oh,
I'm gonna call her boyfriend Fred because I don't know
who it is. She goes, oh my god, that's so cute.
Fred has old friends. She clapp did she clapp? Fred

(10:15):
has old friends? And I was like, this, I've been
on quite the emotional ride. You just told me I
looked young and beautiful, and then you told me you're
clapping because we're he's that hurtful. Did you get out
of the car that was a Porsche fuck of a
twenty one year olds driving a porch? Yeah, they're pretty,
they're pretty loaded. She was like, she didn't mean anything

(10:35):
by she just couldn't believe that his best friend in
the team, or one of his closest friends had there
was such a big age gap. But it was the
way that I said. I said to it, I've never
felt older, but she was lovely. It was great. That
was the only friend I met. And now I'm like,
oh god. When we got the car, I think I'm
gonna hang out with your young friend. I thought I
was gonna have a friend over there, and now she
thinks I'm old. I'm like, she's not gonna want to
hang out with her. I was your young friend.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
And then Mitch Cheerry came along, and he's a couple
of he's younger than me, so he kind of keeps
you up more with what the young uns are doing.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
But this is taking it to a whole new level. Bridge.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
I know, why try to make yourself cooler, culer, but
how is the rest of your time with Ben? It
was this the first time since you got married that
you actually saw him again.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
He's just the best, you know, obviously because I married him.
I hate doing gender stereotypes. And I know we're not
living together full time, but you know, we spend six
weeks together max at a time. But I know who
he is and he's always the same person. He just
looks after me so well, and he will just get up.
He cooks me three meals a day. He'll bring me
breakfast to bed every single day and it's not like

(11:39):
a holiday thing. It's just what he does. He makes
me coffees every morning, he cooks my lunch like a
hot meal. He'll cook me pastres, schnitzel's, whatever I want.
And then at dinner time he will cook two meals,
one for him because he's on like a really strict
if he's in his strict athlete diet phase, he will
cook his meal and then cook me whatever I want.

(11:59):
And I just feel like I've found a unicorn. And
I'm like, I know there's a lot of people. I
get it all the time, like you don't know who
someone is until you live with them. And I was like,
I know who he is. I have been with him
for three years. We still spend a lot of time together,
and I married the guy, Like I know who he is.
But it's just we're just a role reversal. I literally

(12:20):
will this makes me sound so bad. I would just
sit on the lounge and watch TV, but he won't.
Wait then, I'm not kidding, I will come in to
help him. He's so OCD in the kitchen. Like genuinely speaking,
I'm not just throwing that term around, like there's ways
that I getting trouble, trouble in inverted commas. If I've

(12:41):
cut the avocado in a way he doesn't like for
whatever he's making, he knows what he wants to do
and how he wants to do it, and he doesn't
want you to touch it. I will go in. He'll
be like, bab please go sit down. It's better for
me if you're not here. And then he will clean up,
and then he'll come and give me a massage on
the lounge. I'm like, what is this? I was like,
how what is happening? I was like, how have I

(13:02):
found this?

Speaker 2 (13:03):
It wasn't until you said the massage thing. Now I'm
of the belief that I'm like, you're living in La
la land.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Surely not not.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Every day you do not get a massage after having
three meals cooked for you and cleaned up. Yeah, and
he promised you, what do you do over there?

Speaker 1 (13:18):
You're just a free loader. You must give such good chloees. Well,
the first the first day is epic and down here
and you're like, I've built up some brownie poys. I come,
I start hot, But you know what I do as well?
Every single time, this time especially, I take lingerie over.
I take Sexyldre. I didn't even put it on. It's
got the tag on it. Still it's like you get

(13:39):
my bridge, Jones, that's what you get.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Well, he married you, so yeah, he must enjoy the
bridge at Jones says. But I do know what you
mean about this stereotype. I actually I had a really
similar moment on the weekend for all of the rugby
league fans out there, which I know that there are
some of you within the Life on cut community because
we talk in the Facebook.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Group all the time.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Is it the highest percentage of crossover, No, but we
are diagram The Benn diagrams are not particularly strong, but
there are some of us.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
And I had one of the best days, one of
the best afternoons on Sunday.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
So if you weren't aware, it was the NRL Grand
Final on Sunday and neither of my teams were in it.
Actually it was quite weird because it's pretty rare for
there to not be any New South Wales teams in there.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
So it was Melbourne versus Brisbane and I don't really.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Have any particular like loyalty to either of those teams,
but I did go to the Grand Final two years
ago where the Broncos lost as the Brisbane team.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
Just keep in mind, I've given you a three minute
nurl limit here.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
So I kind of felt sorry for them because they
really had it snaked from them right at the end
by the Panthers in twenty twenty three, and so I
was like, I really do hope that they were able
to take it home this time.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
So I was really keen to watch the game. Tobes
and I got back from Melbourne. We flew in.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
We had like all of the washing to do and
all that stuff to kind of get the week started.
And this is how my evening played up. Tobes did
three loads of washing while you and I walked the dogs.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
We came back.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
He'd hung it all out, it was all out drying,
he'd folded it later in the night, he'd gone to
the grocery store. He'd made dinner not just for that
Sunday night, but also for the next three nights, and
portioned it into things in the fridge. And because I
was so keen on watching the Rugby League Growd Final,
which mind you, was one of the best Grand Finals

(15:22):
I have ever seen. I think it was one of
the best games I've seen in like a decade. It
was phenomenal.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
No I had it on the background with no sound
on it, but it was brilliant tackled. They tackled real good.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
There was a moment where I looked at the clock
and I was like, oh, it's nine thirty and TOAs
was wiping the benches down, cleaning up where he had
made and I was like, wow, gender stereotypes are really
flipped in this dynamic.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
He'd got a VP on the lounge watching Jeems. It
was fantastic, and dog your pants masturbating on the lounge
to that he took it too far. But I do
feel what you mean.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
I didn't get a massage, did not get a message,
and I did invite you to come around. I actually
want to read these messages to you, guys, because this
is what Brittany's actually like behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
I feel like I am who I am up front
of girl.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
So you were coming over to get Delila because we've
had her while you were in Italy, and I wrote
you can come over and watch the Footy Grand Final tonight.
If you like Storm Melbourne in brackets and Broncos Brisbane
in brackets, it should be a good game.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
And this was Brittany's reply. That sounds very unappealing. I'm
just being honest. If you threw some Carbonari in there,
maybe you would have got me. Toaks has made you
carbonaro before? Amazing? But yeah, no, it was a fantastic game.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
I had such a good time and the entertainments something
that I something that I really get so frustrated by.
And I know that this happens for the AFL as well,
and it happens even more so when the performer is
a female. Is that I am so hell bent convinced
that no matter who it is, and no matter what
type of performance they do. The people who write for
the publications in Australia already have the headlines printed. They've

(16:59):
already got the controversy over performance. Did you like it
or was it absolutely outrageous? They bombed out, They were
so terrible.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
It's because they just want clicks. No one wants to
hear the performance was brilliant, single was amazing. It's like
anything in media. People don't you think that people actually
want to hear that? Though, like I've got clicks, people
want to hear it, but they don't want to That's
not what it's going to sell, you know, like people
want to see the controversy that will not they it.
It's not that they want to see it, but people
that are writing these journals, that are writing these headlines

(17:28):
have to get clicks on an article to maintain their jobs.
Like you've got to have your stuff read. And if
you think if you're skimming down a page of headlines,
like I'm not saying it's okay and I'm not justifying it,
but I know why they do it. If you're really
skimming down a page of headlines, you don't want to
hear Conrad Saul nailed it, Teddy swims brill like you're

(17:50):
gonna you're just gonna swipe past. But it's if like controversially,
was he singing? Wasn't he singing? Do we like what
he wore? Like you're gonna be like, hang on, what
did he wear? Like, you know, which was quite entertaining.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, it just really frustrates me because like I follow
a lot of NRL pages like in Instagram accounts and
that kind of thing, and I can say with like
ninety nine point eight percent of the comments were so
overwhelmingly positive, and it's such an incredible thing, Like there's
a lot of debate about like, oh, we should only
have Australian performers to open our Grand Finals, and I
actually tend to disagree. And the reason I disagree not

(18:22):
because I don't want to support people who were here
in Australia, but it's because it's really cool to try
and get our sports international, and like the NRL has
done such a good job of doing that. They play
a game over only some of the teams go over,
but they play in Vegas, and so we're starting to
get this like more of an international American audience.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
And so having people like Teddy sharing stuff on his
Instagram from the NRAL Grand Final, to me, I'm like,
this is really cool. This is going to grow our game,
and this is going to grow for me. It was
a fantastic decision. Yeah, my priority this year was to
grow the NRL in Australia. So I'm glad that we're
farther way discusser now.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
I just think that like it's such tall poppy of Australia,
you know, Like I really don't like this mentality that
we try to keep everything that happens here like we
just have to talk about it in such a negative way,
and people like there's almost like a cultural conversation about that,
like why can't we just say these things were so
fantastic and how lucky we to have them.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, and Teddy is also Teddy t Dog. He's my man.
I do love him. Teddy literally has said like Australia's
his favorite country. He loves he loves coming here, So
it's a shame if there were any negative headlines. That
is why I watched the NRL. That is why. And
I had the sound on at the start only for
Teddy Swims and then I just had it playing with nothing,

(19:34):
and I actually don't think I glanced up at it.
I just more set up for you. But Teddy was amazing.
And the reason I'm crushing on Teddy is because he
is like, if you guys follow me closely, Teddy Swims
is like one of his songs, all that matters is
my song. So when I say like mine, Ben's song.
So it's the song that we like hard launched our

(19:55):
relationship to when we released like this video real in Paris.
I don't never forget it, when I was like, fuck it,
I think you're my person. Let's like tell Instagram you know,
I was like, let's tell the world and it was
to this song all that Matters, Teddy Swims. Then my
engagement video was to Teddy Swims as well, and then
my first dance was Teddy as well. So the music

(20:15):
is always going to have these memories for me, do
you know what I mean? Like it's all it's always
associated with Ben and love and like my relationship, and
now for.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Me it's going to be associated with Billy, which I
also think of when I think of love.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
Love and special and closeness and relationship. You know what,
I don't think I've said this yet, but I almost
I was so close to pulling off the ultimate surprise
for Ben at the wedding. So I'd had all these
little surprises for his wedding present. One was Sam Fisher
singing one in a Million songs that he made to
walk down the aisle. But the second surprise was because

(20:50):
our first dance was Teddy Swims. I had contacted I
was like, imagine if I could get something from Teddy
and play it at the wedding and surprise Ben. So
I'd contacted warners, who I mean, like, we are lucky,
we have access to contacts through radio, so like we
have access to different music networks or whatever else. Is
it through radio or is it through the dog park?

(21:11):
Oh yeah, well actually my contact was through the dog park.
But you told that story. Yeah, I think so have we?

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Well, just in case you haven't heard it, so a
couple of years ago, this would have to be like
probably four or four. Yeah, yeah, four years ago we
had an interview with Jess Malboy booked and we were
going into Warner in Sydney to do the interview.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
We were doing it from their office, like Warner's Music.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Yeah, and we've been emailing back and forth with this
person and it was like very standard, very professional, you
know how we would normally talk shout out to Sarah. Anyway,
Britt eventually got this email and it said so I'm paraphrasing.
I can't remember the exact words, but it was basically like, also,
just so you know, we actually know each other from

(21:54):
the dog park.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
No, she said, she goes, Hey, just so you know,
I'm actually Sarah as in Pepper's mum from the dog
park and this is a woman that I had been
going to the dog park with. We both have Australian shepherds.
We've been going to the dog park for like a
year together, but our jobs had never come up. We
just like used to say hello, and we've been emailing simultaneously, yeah,
for like a long time. Like it was back and forth.
It was probably twelve emails deep. And we were like, Sarah,

(22:16):
what the fuck? Why did you say this to us?
Yesterday afternoon when we were at the park. I was like,
why haven't you told me the last telve months? But
she's the best. But yeah, So I contacted Warners and
I just said I told them. I was like, look,
you guys know, I'm getting married. Teddy's my man, Teddy's
my boy. I really want to try and surprise him.
Can you just ask him? Anyway? I wasn't expecting anything,

(22:37):
to be honest, but I'm a shoot my shot kind
of person. And they ended up coming back and they said,
he said he'll do it, but he's in the middle
of performing and a tour, so it's like they were like, look,
him saying he'll do it is one thing, but actually
trying to find the time to fit it in is another.
And I said, look, I won't hold my breath, but
up until four hours before the wedding. I was like

(22:57):
messaging me like is there any and they were like, so,
he's literally on stage, but he was going to record
a video and just that I could surprise Ben with
which I thought was going to be really cute. That
is so sweet you asked for like a freebie cameo
fifty seven bucks video.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Every single year, or maybe like four to six times
a year, new dating trends or new dating terms come
out kind of like summarize what's going on in the culture,
and most of the time I find them utterly ridiculous,
But this time I actually read these yesterday. There are
five new ones predicted for twenty twenty six that came
out of plenty of fish, and I had actually not
heard of any of them.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
That's because they've made up kids. That's why we haven't heard.
I think that they have made them up. But I
found them actually quite relatable and they've got some quirky names.
So the first one that they.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
Listed was kem Riztree like Riz being in the mid chemistry,
but yes, kem Riz, I mean obviously that is somebody
that you have that epic connection with in early days.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Actually not.

Speaker 2 (23:59):
This one is about being more open to catching unexpected chemistry.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
So it's got that's just meeting someone what.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
But the point is is that they've kind of identified
that a lot of the time you don't really see
RIZ in someone initially, and someone who does have RIZ
initially might be like slightly on the narcissistic side, slightly
on the two cocky side. And so this is about
this chem rize tree, is about giving it time to emerge.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Isn't that just dating outside the box?

Speaker 2 (24:29):
No, that's a different one. That's actually a different one
that is coming up a little bit later. We're under
a new name, though, a new name. Okay, we've got
a new term for it. This one is about slow
burn chemistry. Okay, we've heard a lot about don't tell
me the answer.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
No, No, the chem ris tree, the one that we
were just talking about, it's about slow burn chemistry and
we should all be looking more for that in twenty
twenty six, Like, don't judge the RIZ too early? Yes, yes,
very good. Okay. The next one is curveball crushing. So
stick curveball crushing, I feel like that would be when

(25:05):
you throw a curveball, you don't see it coming or
it goes around, so you don't think it's there straight away,
and then it comes back not too far off.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
This is where you end up really connecting with someone
outside of your usual type or your usual checklist. So
it's more about saying that you're completely outside of whatever
your type.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Was, outside the dating outside the box. Comm on pof
that's pof.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Well, apparently they wrote that the main thing that kind
of stops people from doing this is physical characteristics. So
the saying that in twenty twenty six, if you're still
looking to find someone, you need to kind of let
those physical characteristics go and you need to be curveball crushing.
I actually feel like I'm a very good example of
what happens when you curveball crush. The person that I've
ended up with was definitely not like he would not

(25:53):
fit into I had kind of like two very common types.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Because you never dated anyone good. They're all fuck boys.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
That's why you were like, oh my god, it's never
experienced more like physical characteristics. I kind of had two
different types, and they usually fit into one of those
two streams of what I thought I would find attractive.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Piha have you ever? Have you ever? I don't know,
tell me if you want to stop down and not
put this in Have you ever told the story the
person that you dated that left. When I'm saying you
don't date good people, I want people to understand what
I'm saying, like you dated people that have been really fucked.
What do you mean that left? I had plenty of
them leaving. The one that left in the morning when

(26:34):
you're in the shower. Oh that wasn't even in the morning. No,
I have not told that story. I want to tell
it on know this is the time. Yeah, fuck it.
This was one of the most harsh and like hurtful things.
Hurtful in the sense that I was just so shocked
by it.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
So what had happened is that a couple of months before,
Britain and I were actually out together at a pub
in Bondi where we thought we were going to meet
our husb Yes, yes, where we thought we were gonna
our husband's. Turns out that was not the case. But
this was when I was in my drinking era. Okay,
so this is when I used to send it back
and I never thought I had.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
A problem with drinking. There's no problem with what you
did at all, that you're not the problem. Yeah, no,
that's true. Actually I shouldn't be a way, but you
don't even need to set up how many tequilas you'd had.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
So we'd met on this particular night out, and I
think we'd kissed that night, and we've kind of like
gotten on, right.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
You got on? You did? I saw you mac and
on at the bar. Yes, okay.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
So fast forward a couple of months and I had
been out to a bottomless birthday, so like I was
particularly not in a state where I should have been
making good decisions, and I ran into him and so
we ended up going back to mine.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
We went back to mine, and you know, like things.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
Progressed right, and I must have had Delilah at this
time because and I'm trying, like a part of this
is me piecing things together. So I remember that happening,
and then I remember going and having a shower, and
I remember coming out of the shower and in my
bed this man no longer.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
It was instead Delilah had parked no longer. Delilah had
parked herself in the.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Bed, and she was ready to go to sleep, like
she was catching Z's already, And I was like, what
the fuck is going on? Like what just huh, Like
where is he gone? And I was like, you must
have gone and got a drink of water. My next
door neighbor was having a party and we had been
there on our way home just to say hi to
my roommate and say hi to my next door neighbor.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
So I was like, maybe he went back to the party.
So I've text my roommate and I was like, hey.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
Is blah blah blah in there with you? And he's
like knowing what's going on, so he's come back home anyway.
I pick up my phone and I call him and
it's like this number is disconnected.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Ha ha. I'm also it's not it's fine. Makes me
fel uncomfortable. It's one of these things that you and
I have laughed about. And I'm laughing, not because it's funny.
I'm laughing wild, I'm laughing it was fucking wild. It's
like this disbelief that it shouldn't be shocking that people
do it, but there is just such a level disbelief,
like he never told you he was a magician, He

(29:02):
never told you he was an escape artist.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Was did he really got that post nut clarity and
decided that he did not want to be with me anyway,
So I was so confused. I remember sending a text
being like did you just leave, which probably didn't go
through because what is that?

Speaker 1 (29:16):
I was blocked. But then I remember the following.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Morning, I was walking along the promenade and I actually
called our friend Kim because she was with us the
first night that we met to and I was like,
I actually need to talk to someone about what has happened,
Like this has just never happened.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
To me before.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
This is just I was trying to comprehend what I
possibly could have done that shower.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
So repulsive? Is that? Calling her aroun all the hospitals?
She like, I just checking he hasn't been admitted anyway.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
As I'm talking on the phone with her and explaining
what had happened, I got this text from him and
he was like, hey, sorry, just had to get out
of there last night, Like hope you have a really
good day. And I remember reply and I was like,
that is the single rudest thing that someone has ever
done to me before. And I remember trying to put
a threat in there. I was like, you're gonna want

(30:08):
to hope I don't run into you anyway. I've walked
past him at least three times, and nothing's happened. Don't
make no I make our contact. Though I stare at him,
I know that I'm never try I'm trying to separate
my ego. My ego was fucking shattered. Like I was
so upset because I was just like, I feel like

(30:28):
such to use goods, of course, but I'm now at
a point, what three.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Or four years later that I can look back and
go like, that's not a me problem. No, it's not.
You can just pop your head into the bathroom and say, hey,
you got a bell. No, there is a zero excuse
for what he did. None, And like, literally, let's just
break this down. He came over, fucked you, you had
a shower, He snuck out and blocked you in the

(30:56):
in the space of an hour.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
I don't know if he locked me or his phone
went dead, because he texts me the next morning. He
probably thought about an unblocked Yeah, maybe he thought maybe,
oh no, I hadn't threatened him yet.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
I still I genuinely have absolutely no idea. Nothing happened.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
He was just.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
He was just a fuck with. But my favorite part
is you saying you better. Hope you better hope that
I do not run into you when you will past
him and you don't do it. I actually remember, though,
in all honesty, I remember you telling me this at
the time and we're going through your response, You're like,
what are right back? And I remember saying to you,

(31:36):
stop making excuses for him, because you were like I
remember saying something like he probably just had to go,
or like whatever it was, it didn't mean anything anyway,
Like you were trying to almost find a justification and
it's probably to protect you. Yeah, I think I was
actually trying to pad the ego shattering, you know, totally
like x Puck and it's what a loser. And even

(31:57):
though you know, like so many people listening right now
have been in a situation similar, like so many people,
and even though you know it's not you and you've
done nothing and there's nothing that you could have done
to justify that, there's no reason they should have done that,
it still sucks. It still makes you feel like cool,
Am I not even worth? Like? Am I just a

(32:18):
vagina to you? Like I understand why people feel that,
And I just hate that people feel.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
That, feeling like I'm able to laugh about it now,
and I hope that if this has happened to you,
you were also able to laugh with me in sol
It is so wid I actually I would say that's
one of my worst.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
Experiences in the dating world. It was, and I know
how far you've come now because you have never spoken
about it. It's one of those things that you guys, know,
we say so much on the podcast and Kesha's like,
one day, I'll be ready. Today's the day.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
I was, like, I think because I was probably embarrassed,
Like genuinely, I actually thought it must have, in some
way have been a reflection of me.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
It probably is a little bit of a reflection of
how I felt about myself, you.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Know, like I felt as though I was somehow responsible
for the fact that he made that decision, or maybe
that I hadn't seen it, as you know, I hadn't
seen the red flags coming, which believe me, they were
screaming well before I ran into him that day, and
so maybe there was a part of me that was
just like, no, that's actually too embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
Maybe this is my accidentally. Do you remember, this is
my truthful accidentally? Unfils it You've made me just remember.
At the same time, because you and I were swapping
battle wounds at the time because we're both deep in dating.
But do you remember that absolute pig? And you lifeles
will probably remember because I would have told it at
some point five years ago. But I imagine there are
that many new people. But I was dating this absolute pig. Oh,

(33:36):
Meet Raffle. If you guys ever go back and google
Meet Raffle, you can hear Meat Raffle's episode. That's a
nickname we gave him. And why did you give him
that nickname? Roy? I'm not going to talk about because
that makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel physically. I
just vomited in my mouth. Anyway, he had like taken
me on maybe two dates, I think maybe like we

(34:00):
to dinner and they weren't fancy, went to like a
local Vietnamese or something like super cheap, super cash. Nothing
wrong with that. It's just two dates. And he'd come
back to my house, were hanging out, but it was
like daytime. It was just literally like we're going to
the beach for the day, hanging whatever. Came back to
my house and he was trying to have sex with me,
and I said no, I was like, I don't want to,

(34:22):
and then he kept trying to put the moves on
and I kept being like, hey, I don't want to.
And then he cracked it and he goes, you owe me.
Do you remember that? He said you owe me?

Speaker 2 (34:32):
And I said, the only reason I'm not like shocked
by this is because I do know this story, but
it is still one of the most disgusting things I've
ever heard.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
No one has ever I've never been in that situation before,
and I'm so glad I was at the life stage
that I was at where I was a very strong
woman with experience to know that, like it's not okay,
because it's very easy for men to put women in
a position where they feel like they're so uncomfortable and
they can't speak up. And I remember being like and

(35:01):
then he's like, you owe me, and then sort of
like started trying to make out with me again. I
remember being like, get the fuck out of my house.
I was like, I don't owe you anything, and he
had this we had this full on thing. He's like, yes,
you do. We been hanging out for days, and I
was like, I could hang out with you for a
fucking year if I want, and not let you touch me.
I don't owe you a thing ever, and I'll never forget.

(35:21):
And like the feeling of thinking of him now still
just makes me feel unwell. But like, yeah, so when
I let's just circle back, but when I say that
you dated shit people you dated that was like an example,
but you also dated great people as well. I did.
I did have some great people.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
But I do remember actually having a bit of a
moment after that happened where I was pretty raddled by it,
and I remember kind of thinking about and I think
that this would be something that happens to all people
who experience rejection, and potentially even people who experienced things
worse in the dating landscape.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
There is like that consideration of.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Okay, so what did I do to contribute to this,
and what can I change to make sure that this
never happens again? And I used to be in that
headspace where I was like, well, maybe if I hadn't
have done this, and maybe if I hadn't have done that.
And now at the point that I'm at, I so
easily can recognize and I think that's probably why I
can laugh about it now, because I'm like, that actually
just has nothing to do with me. It genuinely has
nothing to do with me. It wouldn't have mattered who

(36:17):
I was in that moment, he would have behaved in
the same way. And so yeah, I guess that's the
only nice part of the story is that I remember
for a couple of weeks afterwards, I really laid low,
Like I remember, I didn't go out.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
I didn't. I don't think I went on any dates
for a little while.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
Not so much because it had nothing to do with
the fact that I had feelings for that guy. I
couldn't really have just knocked your confidence. It really knocked
my confidence and it rattled me hate. So yeah, I
get anyway, do we want to go back to the other.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Terms for you? What a segue? What's the next thing to?

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Okay, the next one is love lauring? So law as
in l ore love lauring.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
I wouldn't even know where to start with that. Okay,
So this is kind of a twist on the whole
dating for the plot trend.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
So you know how law elo ari is. It's slang
for like history stories, the legend of a person, you know.
So this one is, like I said, a twist on
dating for the plot, and it's a shift towards curiosity
and adventures and.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Being a lot more playful. Okay, I love Lauring, I
used to love law. I think I used to date
for the story.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
Yeah, but this is like a little bit of an
evolution from it where you're trying to be more adventurous
and more playful in your dating life. So you're adding
to like the law of your story. Okay, next one,
true casting. What do you think this one is true casting?

Speaker 1 (37:37):
I reckon that is to do with fishing, like casting
a line with truth, so like just tell people what
you want showed up. That's pretty good. That's pretty close.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Actually, this one is showing up to first dates as
more of our authentic selves.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
It's the whole love me or leave me. I am
what I am approached. Okay, I'm down for that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
And then the very last one, this one, I thought
it would be something very different. It's status flexing. So
this actually has nothing to do with status or like
financial things or nothing to do with that. It's about
dating the whole situation ship trend. So you know when
you're in those phases where you're like, we.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Don't really know what we are, Like, oh, I'm not sure,
I don't know what they are they my boyfriend? Are
they not? Are they? You know what's happening? Are we
dating other people?

Speaker 2 (38:16):
It's about ditching that shit and defining relationships as early
as you want.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
The reason I have a problem with these trends is
because two weeks ago there was a trend that was
the opposite. Two weeks ago, the trend was fucking owning
the fact that you don't want a relationship and you
don't want to put it out there and you're happy
on your own and you have and like you know
what I mean, Like it's like you don't want to
put labels on stuff, and now the trend is to
put the label on I'm like, what is it? What
Laney you're taking? I think in dating Hemia, we don't

(38:45):
need a trend. We don't need a name date for
you and what you're looking for. If as long as
you're being authentic, I don't think we need to be like, oh,
this is the dating trend. As long as you're true casting,
as long as your true cast the fuck out of it,
then right to us and tell us so that we
can talk about on the podcast. So I want to
talk about Paris Fashion Week, but I don't want to
talk about the fashion, although it does look amazing. One day,

(39:06):
I would love to go just to see what they
all look like, Like, I don't want to attend, but
just like to see all the stars arrive. Don't you reckon? No,
you're not interesting, weirdly like, I don't want to offend
anyone saying this, I have no interest. I would just
like to see the stars, but I don't. I don't
need to go for a flex and see in front row.
I just want to like see people arrive in the
beautiful outfifth. Do you know why I think I would

(39:27):
be so like, even if I was in Paris at
the time, I wouldn't go anywhere near it is because
I think that it would just be overwhelming. It would
be overwhelming.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
But I know that I would compare, and I know
that I would feel less than I know that I
would be like, wow, I am so not cool here, Like, look,
oh gosh, these people look amazing and so polish and
so creative, and I look like I'm right now, I'm
wearing a hot pink T shirt and jeans and I've
got socks on.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
But you're not at Paris Fashion Week. And also I
would feel that, but that doesn't bother me. I know
who I am, and I know that I'm not Hollywood
fucking elite. Fashion is stuff anyway, true, Maybe I've got
some work today. Well, last week was Victoria Beckham's she
debuted her Spring Summer twenty twenty six runway show. And
there is a photo. There was a beautiful photo of
Anna Winter and the family and Cruz Beckham was there

(40:11):
and Cruise's girlfriend, Jackie Apostles was there and what was
and is just a nice photo ended up sort of
going off in the comments a little bit. In the
comments section, somebody posted, why is a twenty nine year
old dating a twenty year old? That's just weird. I'm
talking about Jackie dating Cruise. So Cruise is twenty years old,
Cruz Beckham his girlfriend Jackie is twenty nine, so there

(40:34):
is a nine year difference, although everybody that reports on
it says ten years, all right. I think it just
like hits different when you hit a decade. Everyone's like
ten year age gap. But it also could be that
it depends on when in the year their birthdays are. No,
they're twenty twenty nine, they're nine years different. But you
get my point. Like, if someone's birthday is in January
and someone's birthday is in August, there is a period

(40:54):
of that year where it might be ten years. Well, okay,
this is true. So it started off a really interesting discussion.
So she Jackie herself, actually saw the comment and responded
to it. So instead of just leaving it, because you
know how sometimes well all the time people say, don't
give something oxygen. There's always trolls on every account, like,
no matter how big you are, someone's just gonna say

(41:15):
something nasty. Usually you ignore it. But Jackie commented back,
so she said, why is a twenty nine year old
dating twenty year old? That's just weird? And Jackie wrote,
because he's kind, funny, smart, caring, driven, mature, talented and
loyal and also quite handsome. I mean, I like that.
I think that that's a really cute response. She's said
it in a nice way. She's not attacking, and she's

(41:36):
not having to go at it. She puts a little
love heart face, says all these reasons why she loves him,
But it's still making a lot of people feel uncomfortable.
And I think it's worth unpacking why because you wouldn't
bat your eyelids. If we were talking about this the
other way around, if Cruz was twenty nine and Jackie
was twenty, you wouldn't. It's the normal, especially in Hollywood.

(41:57):
Like a twenty year old he's always going to date
a man that's like nine years old. I don't think
we would hit the same.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
I think for me, like being completely honest, and obviously
there are going to be exactly like, they're going to
be exceptions for this.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
There's going to be shades of.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Gray, and this is not necessarily black and white. But
for some reason, I do feel a little bit more
uncomfortable when one of the people in an age gap
relationship is less than about twenty five, maybe even twenty three.
And I don't know whether that's because I just have
this overarching feeling that there is a bit of a
power imbalance. We often talk about power imbalance as when

(42:30):
we talk about age gap relationships, and that's not always
the case, and I think in this situation in particular,
that's probably less so the case. But I was actually
interested in how common age gap relationships were and what
was the most common age gap that was actually found
within relationships. So there was this big study done across
one hundred and thirty countries, and they found that the
average age gap in romantic relationships is about four point

(42:52):
two years. In hetero relationships, the man is generally older
than the female partner. That's also be found on average
that the older partner in the age gap relationship is
happier than the younger partner, and this effect was especially
pronounced when the older partner was a man, again in
a heterodynamic And the last point that they found in
this particular study was that countries with higher gender equality

(43:15):
and income slash education tend to have smaller age gaps.
So countries with more inequality between genders and again I'm
talking about hetero relationships, they tend to have larger age gaps.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
Well, I think this for this particular situation. It's not
the age gap, but it's the timeline gap. So it's
where they are in their life. So it's not the
nine years, it's the nine years when one is twenty
that's the problem. So it's not nine years when you're
thirty and thirty nine, that's fine, it's because he's twenty
years old. And now I battle with this. I am
on the fence and I hate being on the fence.

(43:49):
But I see both sides, and part of me titter's
one side and I say, oh, it feels a bit weird.
The other part is like, actually, he's an adult. Why
is it weird? But I think it's because in America
you can't even drink. He can't legally drink yet when
you are twenty years old. I think it's also very
situational for who you are. Cruz Beckham is not a

(44:10):
normal child, Like he didn't have a normal upbringing. He
has a life that no one else could fathom. I
think he would have grown up very quickly. He seems
that family seems very mature because they had to learn
to live a life in the spotlight, and I think
there'd be under a lot of rules. I don't think
he grew up parallel to a lot of other people
his age, so I think that he would be really,

(44:31):
really mature. And whether you want to say this is
a reason or not. And she didn't list it when
she said she loves him. He's very wealthy, so I
would think, and I'm not saying that's why she's dating him,
but there is a security, like there's a difference with
dating a twenty year old that you know, never has
to worry about money, or a twenty year old that
hasn't started his career yet is a struggling student, and like,

(44:54):
of course that's probably not going to have the same
appeal to people. But I think that he would be
not your a reached twenty year old, And that's what
I think the world maybe is forgetting when they're crucifying
this relationship. I think he's probably a lot older than
his years.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
I think that you're definitely right in saying like he
has financial autonomy where most twenty year olds in that
situation would not in comparison to a twenty nine year old.
And I guess that kind of financial autonomy actually highlights
something that I think we kind of all internally.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
Maybe even have a little bit of.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
And I'm putting my hand up of this and saying
that the way that we think about age gap relationships
is a little bit classiest.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
You know, I think we don't have anywhere near as
much of a problem with it.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
If we're talking about celebrities who are really wealthy, who
are not necessarily going to be doing it because they
have no other way of financially supporting themselves.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
We seem to kind of think that they're hot.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
I mean, you think about all of the men in
Hollywood that are dating much, much much younger women.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
We don't seem to. I mean, I know we have
problems with it, but I don't think we have LEO.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Yeah, I don't think we have anywhere near as much
judgment as what we would if this was a random
set of people from you know, down the street that
had normal lives and it was a forty year old
with a twenty year old, Like, I think a lot
more people would kind of raise their eyebrows about that situation.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
Was because you know that they're there because they have
a choice. They're not forced to be there for any
socioeconomic situation. You know, it's not a power and balance,
you know, in this situation, of course, Cruz is more
powerful than Jackie. But Jackie in her own right, was
a super successful singer, she was in a band, she's
big in her country. I think she's Brazilian. She's doing

(46:30):
just fine on her own. Like, I don't think whilst
one is more powerful because of their family status. I
just think it is a very equal relationship that is
purely founded on them both just liking each other.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
I also think that there is a certain thing that
happens when the woman is older, and whether this is
internalized misogyny or not, I think it kind of exists
within all of us because of the messaging that we've
had for so long about women and desirability, and the
fact that as we age, we become less desirable, we
become less sexual, and so we kind of find it
weird when a young man would find an older woman

(47:03):
sexually attractive.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
Well, no, I think there's actually some research somewhere. Don't
quote me. Someone said something I'm powerful somewhere, but that
a lot of younger men find old women very attractive. Now,
whether that means they want them as a life partner
is a different thing. But there's always an attraction to
an older woman. But the problem here is that the
reason it feels weird for people is because a year
ago he was a teen. That's why a year ago

(47:24):
he was a teen, and he can't drink yet, so
that puts you in your mind, whether you think he's
mature or not, it just puts him in a category
to double down. I don't think there's a problem with
this relationship. I don't have a problem, but I can
see why some people feel uncomfortable by it, but I
think most of that also comes down to the reason
it's different when the woman's older as well, is because

(47:44):
we have biological clocks and we need to get a
kick on with things if you want a family, so
it's different if you are. You know, she's about to
turn thirty. We don't know her situation, but hypothetically, if
she's like, cool, I really want kids now because I've
done my twenties in my next chapter and he's only
twenty years old, he might be so far away from that.
So that's where it gets a bit tricky in a relationship.

(48:06):
But I have been in that situation. So Jordan my
ex if you're new here, my last partner I did
for a cup eighteen months two years. He was twenty
five when I met him, and I was what was
I cradle snatch? I was thirty one or thirty two? Yeah,
you would it. Yeah, it was like seven years difference.

(48:27):
I think I remember almost not dating him because of that.
I remember being like, going on a date with him,
didn't know how old he was, really liked him. We
hit it off, and then I remember thinking, oh, I
can't date someone in their early to mid twenties. I
was like, what are people going to say? My first
thought was what are people going to say? Because I
know this society women aren't allowed to do that with Well,

(48:49):
they're not going to come out unscathed. There's going to
be so much judgment. Was their judgment? Yeah, of course
there was, and that's why terms like cradle snatcher exist. No,
but that was the point. I was gonna make cougar
and cradle snatch out right. Tell me what the terms
are for men that date younger? None. These are these
labels that we slap on women if they date someone younger.

(49:10):
You would even get that slept on you if you
dated someone three years younger. And we almost do it
to ourselves. We always laugh now. I say it all
the time. I'm like, yeah, I'm a cougar. I get
it because we're so used to somebody labeling us like that.
But men do not have a label if they're dating
someone younger. It's like they probably just get high fives
from their friends.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
Well, I remember even at that you know, you're talking
about your relationship with Jordan. I remember it was really
early on in that relationship that you were freezing your eggs.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
Yes, And I.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Remember that being a bit of a weird thing for
you to be like, oh, I'm having to consider attempting
to safeguard my fertility because I feel as though.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
I'm in a bit of a different stage to you. Yeah.
And I told him that, like I was already doing
that when I met him, And I was what was
that dating term we spoke about earlier, what's the the
way you tell the true true casting? True casting? Love
me as I am a great dating term, a true cast.
I said the shit out of Jordan because I was like,
let's just call a spade a spade. I just met
this guy twenty four to twenty five. I was freezing

(50:06):
my eggs because because I'm in geriatric pregnancy. I was like,
and I just told him, I said, hey, this is
where I'm at. Obviously I don't know what my future is,
so I'm freezing my eggs. And I thought that would
turn him off a lot, like she's old. But he
didn't care. He could not care less. And the reason
is he was very mature. Again, not a normal life.
He'd been a professional athlete since he was sixteen, on

(50:27):
the road, living like they grow up differently and I
say that because I think that's what Cruz Beckham, the
situation that krus Beckham would been. He's not a normal
twenty year old Ben my husband, He's five years younger
than me. Like, yes, I have a thing for younger men.
I'm not mad about a spring chicken. I like a
spring chicken. But like, I didn't think twice about the

(50:48):
age gap with Ben because the timeline was later, so
we were older. So he was twenty nine turning thirty
just about to I think he turned thirty within three
months of me meeting him, whereas Jordan was twenty four
twenty five. And it felt different. So the age, Captain,
was that different, but the point of our life where
and the age of stage, Yeah, and that felt different.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
One other aspects of age gap relationships that I had
never considered before and had to do with attachment styles.
And this is not like studied information where they've got statistics.
It's more anecdotal. But it was a concept I'd.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Never really thought of before. And it was the fact
that if you.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Have an anxious attachment style, you might be more likely
to end up with a partner who is older than you,
who will be able to kind of lead you through
certain stages of your life that they might have already
started and you haven't yet.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
Yeah, but I don't think I mean, I think that's
really obvious. It's a safety in net. Yeah, someone that's
ten years older than you is going to be more
financially secure, has had more life experience.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
Is you know, it's kind of going to sue that
anxious attachment and safety in opposition to that, If you
have an avoidant attachment style, you might be more inclined
to go for a younger partner because there's kind of
the idea that you know, it's going to be a
little bit easier, there's going to be less commitment expected
so quickly, and maybe they are going to let you
take more time to I guess tick off the things

(52:10):
that people usually think have to happen in long term relationship.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Yeah, And generally speaking, that's why men usually date down.
They don't have to worry, there's not a timeline pressure,
they don't have to worry about having kids and proposing
and getting engaged. And I'm not saying it's an excuse,
but you know that things come with dating an older
woman that not necessarily it's not a blanket statement. But
like Ben and I moved very quickly because I mean
my mid thirties. So if we want, you know, we

(52:34):
were freezing embryos within six months. But you're not going
to do that if you're twenty four generally speaking, you know,
because you don't have the pressures and the time constraints
that you do when you're a little bit older. And
that's why. And there's a lot of men that say
that's why they date down. Obviously there's other reasons. They
just want to fuck someone younger as well. Like it's
called spade a spade, but it is a consideration. Like
guys are like, well in they're in there in the thirties,

(52:56):
Like I know, I don't want to sell down anytime soon.
If I date somebody else since in their mid thirties,
is a high chance that we're going to have to
move really quickly. Yeah. Look, I think reading over this yesterday,
a part of me did have to check myself and
be like cash you would if Cruz Beckham slid into
your DMS, you'd be sitting on it. You'd be straight there,
I can guarantee it. You'd be like what's the different
You'd be like doing those calculations where you like this

(53:19):
fifteen years okay, yeah, I could be at work.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Yeah, I feel about everyone's thirsting over Robert Irwin on
Dancing with the Stars.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
I feel the same.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
I find it a little bit strange, but I'm kind
of like, what's it to me? It's never my business,
Like there's a part of me that.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
Has had to check myself in this. You'd be moving
straight into the Beckhams mansion. You would be like, cruise,
let's cruise David, what's up? Yeah, no, I'm going to David.
I think if it David's not hitting you up, cruises.
This is my hypothetical.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
I just think that there's an aspect of me that
if I'm being totally transparent, and I really hope this
isn't hurtful to anyone who's in an age gat relationship,
I think I have a little bit of work to
unpack because I do have an element of judgment in there,
and and I've always thought of it in the sense
where I was like, no, but these people are vulnerable,
and that's why I have judgment over age gat relationships,

(54:07):
because that's what I mean. I'm kind of looking at
these going these people aren't vulnerable. I actually have two
friends who are in age gat relationships and I'm thinking
about much bigger age gaps on yours, and I'm thinking
about them being like, they're not vulnerable, they're completely autonomous
people Like.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
Who am I to have a judgment over who they
choose to be with? I feel like I need to
I need to check myself in this equation and cruiz Beckham.
Maybe this is what you have provided my life, So
thank you. Yeah, let's let them leave. So that's what right,
that's my final answer on this let them leave. Well,
it is time for sucking. Sweet our highlight and our
low light of the week. Do you want to kick

(54:43):
it offish? I have the sweetest of all sweets, and
let just go first. Sorry, sorry, I tell you what
you and Laura. We're six and a half years to
feeling in for Laura and I'm trying to begger. Okay,
So my suck this week.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Look, it's a bit of a joke, suck, but I
think that a lot of people will relate to this.
So Toes and I went away for two nights to
celebrate my best friend's engagement down in Melbourne.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Over the weekend. We had a really, really good time.
I think it was one of.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Those things that I didn't realize how much we maybe
needed a little bit of time to get away and
spend time together. He's been away for work a lot lately,
so that was really really nice. But my suck is
that we spent nearly the entire time that we were
away just saying how much we missed Bonnie the dog.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
It was my first proper amount of time away from her,
and I now get it. Tobes and I literally said
to each other, I was like, what did we talk
about before we had this dog? All we wanted to
talk about was Bonnie. We were looking back at videos
of Bonnie, photos of Bonnie, bringing up the cameras that
we've got the security cameras in the backyard to be like, I.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Wonder if she's outside, and sometimes if she was outside
playing with De La La, I'd be.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
Like, look at how cute she is.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Like my suck is that now I get it. I
get it how you don't want to be away from
your little ones. I'm in that stage.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
My suite is somewhat related. And it brought me the
biggest hit of dopamine that I've had in years. So
we bought a house in I think it was like
April or May or something like that.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
And the first time that I walked through it, I
walked into it's got a very small backyard, so there's
like a little car port to one side, and then
there was a tiny little garden ish area kind of
like a courtyard, but more like elongated, so it's like
a rectangle. And I looked at it and I was like, Oh,
that's fantastic, because you know, in my head, I was like,
that means we'll be able to have a dog. But
it had AstroTurf, and I again, no shade to anyone

(56:34):
who likes it, no shade to anyone who has it.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
I despise. Not good for air. I hate it. It
makes my skin itchy.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
Anyway, we had this astro turf and it was starting
to smell like a urinal, particularly if we had Delilah
as well, because you've got double the dog's pelain Deliah.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
What she was supposed to do.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
She was peeing outside on the fake grass. Anyway, I
just hated it, and so I organized with my brother,
who's a builder. He was really kind, and he brought
two of his boys from Newcastle to Sydney and they
ripped out the AstroTurf. They took out some of the
trees and I got grass and now the grass lawn

(57:16):
becoming my new personality. I actually joked about this. You
know Holly Kingston, she's been on the podcast. She met
her husband Jimmy on The Bachelor. Jimmy was the Bachelor.
I've actually been messaging Jimmy about this now because we
are both obsessed with lawn.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Except he has like an acre and you've got like
yours is like one meter by half a meter.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
They told me I need to get those shoes that
air rate the lawn that got spikes on the bottom,
and I was like, I'm gonna look that up.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
You have a meter of grass. You don't have got
like six square meters of grass.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
But it's my whole new personality. I'm looking into lawn mowers.
I'm going to get the trimmer that goes along the side. Anyway,
I've been out there watering the grass three times a day.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
The best thing I've ever had. It's the girls love it.
Kisha's sweets lawn. I love that boob. My Saki is
just jet lag. Going to call Space bade can never
get out of jet lag. It's it really rocks me.
So I'm taking sleeping tablets, which I don't recommend, but like,
I need to be able to sleep at nights to
come to work at seven thirty. My sweet is Like,
I'm going to be super annoying for you guys, because

(58:16):
I'm only going to give you half of it in
case doesn't happen. But today we have ninety percent locked in.
I guessed for next week that I haven't wanted to
get for so long, and this is going to be
the most annoying bread crumb. I will tell you who
it is next week if we get them, because they'll
be on the podcast, and I will tell you who

(58:37):
it is if we don't get them anyway, But I
don't want to give it away yet, but I do
want to say that, like it's probably one of the
guests I've been the most excited about in such a
long time. So that's my annoying fucking I'm that stupid person.
It's like breadcrumbing, Like, oh my god, wa, the space
can't wait to tell you, Like I hate those people.
It's a big grain if they cancel, but it's well, yeah,
but it. It just sort of has coming through in
the last day or two, so it's it's like almost

(58:59):
a one hundred cent yea and it's going to be epic.
Let's say ninety yes. Yeah, So like pray for us
anyway that is in it from us today.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Hey, if you have any opinions about anything that we're
spoken about on the podcast, but only they're good guy.

Speaker 1 (59:13):
Keep them kindish. I'm welcome to open conversation criticism.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
Still, don't take that particularly well. You heard about my
story of getting ghosted while I was in the show.
But you can leave comments on Spotify what you thought
about the episode. Check a comment into the Facebook group
it's Life Uncut discussion group, and you can leave us
a review on Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
But most importantly, please it means a lope. You can
go to YouTube and hit subscribe. There are so many
shorts on there, so many long form videos, interviews like
it's such a cool place just to go and sit
put on your TV at home, have in the background.
But it hits different when you're watching it. But it's
a real focus for us to try and grow. So
if you could do us a favor, if you love us,
if you're a listener, Just go and hit subscribe. You

(59:54):
know the Dririll team Umtay doute, dong Tate, friends and
SHANDL love because we love love. There are more bas