July 31, 2024 • 45 mins
Hey Lifers!
Producer Keeshia is filling in today and Britt is curious about her chewing gum and toilet choice habits.
Britt has had a very serious emergency that could have had a very dire outcome. This story isn't for a laugh but more a word of warning!
Vibes for the week can be found on our website
Britt:
Keeshia: Modern Wisdom - How to stop feeling like your success is never enough
and Apple airpod max headphones
Then we jump into your questions!
IS HE LYING TO ME?
A few years ago when I was around 7 months pregnant I noticed a condom missing from the pack. The only reason I noticed this was because we don’t use condoms and only had them because we were going through fertility treatment and advised to use them prior to egg collection and embryo transfer. I confronted my husband about it and he said he likes to wear them when he ‘relieves’ himself because he likes the feeling of it. Fast forward to now and we have been trying for a second baby for almost 9 months. We have embryos frozen so have decided to go through fertility treatment again. Again, we have been advised to use condoms to avoid multiples etc. My husband hasn’t used any of ours since then, or told me that he’s brought more. For the past few months he has been working away a few nights a week and staying at a friend’s house while he’s away (this friend is married with kids). The other day our 2 year old was going through his bag. He opened a zip and pulled out 2 condoms saying ‘daddy biscuits’. A few hours passed and a comment was made and we ended up talking about it. He told me again he liked the feeling of it and that I have nothing to worry about. My sex drive has been very low the last few months trying for a baby again and sex feels like a chore. He doesn’t want to push me or put any pressure on so finds the need to ‘relieve’ himself which is totally fine. I explained to him why it seemed suss and he understood where I was coming from and said he never even saw it that way. Now the question is - I don’t know if this a red flag and he’s lying to me or is this a legit thing and I should just trust him? We are about to have another embryo transfer and I’m just all over the place with my emotions and how I feel about this. I don’t have actual proof he’s done anything wrong or cheated and I don’t have reason to not trust him.
AM I A BAD FRIEND?
I’ve got a friend who seems to chase chaos in relationships. She is clearly the reason her last wonderful relationship didn’t work out, and since then she has dated multiple toxic guys back to back, and says she loves red flags - as if it’s funny, until it’s not funny anymore. She also never takes any accountability for her bad behaviour. I wish I didn’t get so invested and didn’t care what she did with relationships but it’s put me off our friendship. She’s never done anything bad to me but I find myself with the ick and not wanting to hang out with her because I can’t possibly listen to one more of these chaotic and red flag guy stories. Am I being a bad friend?
NOT BUDGETING FAIRLY
My family is going on a big holiday for a whole week. I’m talking about my sisters, their husbands and their kids + my parents and me (I’m single). One of my sisters has been the arranger of the whole trip. It was her idea so she has booked and budgeted everything and explained how much everything is costing and how it’s getting split. Now it’s coming to the crushing time of paying everything and getting close to us all going but I’m starting to feel as if things haven’t been fairly budgeted. What’s your perspective? We are 3 sisters helping pay toward ours and our parents' holiday however 2 of us have partners als
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
elders past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut.
Speaker 5 (00:25):
I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha, and producer Keish is feeling
for Laura today.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
We know Laura's been going through a lot of personal
stuff the last couple of months, so she is having
a few days with herself and her family. But we
love having you, Keish, So welcome to therapy Thursday.
Speaker 5 (00:40):
Ask Uncut, where we unpack your deep, dark, dirty, and burning.
I don't even know what the tag you think new questions, Yeah, dilemmas.
We should we get a literation deep dark, dirty dilemmas.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I mean we're five years deep and we haven't done that,
but we can update it us.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Thank you. I would appreciate.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Hey, Okay, you just did something that rocks to me,
shocked me to my core.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
You sat down and we're about to record. You were
chewing chewing gum and I was like, keeh, you can't
chew chewing gum on the record. No one wants to
hear that for an hour, and you were like, no worries.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
And swallowed it. I'm like, what kind of a sociopowse
swallows chewing gum.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's not my choice. You made a choice to do.
Speaker 5 (01:19):
No, you actually made the choice you had. You had
a choice to spit it out or swallow it. It's fair, yes,
the whole if you swallow it stays in your guart
for seven years.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Not true.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
I don't know who started the rumor. I don't know
why it took off so much.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
It's one of those myths that hes around as like
at school.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I mean, I can't imagine it being good for you.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I'm not recommending, but prior to the recording, I had
done a couple of things that just took up a
bit of extra time, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
We just need to we need to get started. We
got lots to do today.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
What things did you do that took up time? Keisha,
I don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
You had to go find an empty toilet block so
you could do a poop because you tried to do
one poop, you got poop anxiety. Poop anxiety because someone
was in a cubicle next year, so she had to
go out of the building to like another level. She
had to take a swine card go up three levels
till she found it him to cubicle so she could
take a dump.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Just do it.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
The amount of poop talk on the podcast makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
It's crazy how much poop anxiety you and Laura get.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
We get it very differently, though.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
She would have had no problem with the fact that
someone else is in the cubicle next to us, but
they're like, over my dead body. Would I comfortably sit
next to someone who I don't know who it is?
I don't know if I'd be more comfortable with an
anonymous person or with a friend. What if it was me,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I'd feel more comfortable with you than most other people.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
But Laura's made me leave the bathroom before. She's like
quick is brah, And then I'm like washing my hands,
and I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Like, okay, you know, I just it's a step in
the right direction.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Because I used to be the type of person when
I would first start dating a boy, I could hold
it for three days.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Woo.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
That is equally on par with swallowing you chewing gum
for how unhealthy that is for you.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
He just wasn't comfortable, Like it just wasn't comfortable.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
They would have to not be in the house, and
even then I'd be like, that was still no.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Do you know one time you've just made me remember this.
I can't even gonna say this. I remember when I
first started dating my ex. It's like I've Baltimore, Like
I can't use his name, Jordan, he must not be named. No,
he's great whatever when we first started dating.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
No, he's great. Everything's fine, I have we have really
good marriages. It's great.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
X send in love.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I was living right across from the beach, but I
lived in a tiny, like one bedroom apartment with a
tiny kitchen. Keisha lived there for a while, so she knows.
It had one bathroom, one bedroom.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
And the bathroom was right next to the bedroom, same.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Thin acoustics thing.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And the house was so small that if you did
do something that may have smells, it would have stung
the house out.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I remember, I was like he was just living at
my house, like we were inseparable.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Great, but I was like, oh my god, I need
to go so bad. What am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So I pretend I was like, I'm gonna go pick
up something to eat from the shops, and he was.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Like, oh come.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I was like, dah, you just chill, I'll go anyway.
I literally ran across the road to a public toilet.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I went to find a public toilet rather than at
the start and use my own bathroom.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
That is how much anxiety I had at the start.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think that's the most relatable thing I've ever heard
in my life.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
It takes a long time to be comfortable. I'll never
be comfortable with door open situation, like never ever, That's
not for me. But I feel like it's a step
in the right direction that I'm now. I mean, I
don't know if it's that I'm able to go at work.
So anyway, Yeah, I chose to go to the well.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Back to the chewing gum. It is a myth that
it stands in your stomach for seven years, but it's
not a myth that it's actually really bad for you.
So it doesn't ever break down. It will not break down.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It stays in there like corn straight through.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Well, it doesn't go straight through, but it does move
very slowly through and then it does just get excreted.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
But in children, I don't know why I'm going so
indepth into this, but in children it has been known
to like block their bowl passage and it can be
like really severe.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
So I think the myth starts so that kids don't
do it. Anyway, Probably good, let's move on.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
That's people come here for the education.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Far too much about our lives.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Well, I wanted to tell you something really serious that
happened to me last night. And this is not a joke.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But I could have died last night. And I'm not exaggerating,
And this is like a warning to people.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
This isn't a haha.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
This is not a haha.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
I literally feel like a message. Ben I said, I
think I could have died last night. Like that's how
close I think I was.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
So my house is really cold. I've talked to you
guys about that before. Like I don't have heating in
the house, and I'm always wearing jumpers. It's not insulated. Well,
it's freezing, so I do have heaters.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
I have a heater in my room because I've freeze
to death at night, and I have a heater in
the lound room. Anyway, I always put the heater on
for a couple of hours in my room before to
heat it up.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And then I turn it off. And so last night
I woke up because I was cold, so I put
the heater on. It's right next to my bed. I
don't even have to get out of bed. I lean
over and just put it on at the wall at
the soccer. So I put it on, and I was like,
I'll leave it on for an hour or so and
then I'll turn it off, just sort re heats.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
What type of heater is it.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
It's just a little portable heater like it's actually one
Ben bought me. Then this not I'm not blaming.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Ben, but Ben, you could have killed me.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I'm not blaming Ben. But if I'm blaming anyone, it's Ben.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
But its air, like an electric one, not gas. No, yeah,
you just plug it in electric. It heats so well.
And I've had it for months and months.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
It's fine.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
So I lean over put it on and then go
back to bed. And then I am woken at about
two in the morning. My smell woke me up, and
I'm lucky I'm a semi light sleeper. The smell woke
me up and I opened my eyes and I was like,
something is wrong. My whole room was smoke and I
looked down next to the bed flames like I'll.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Show you the photo.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
I was like, I'm about to dinifire, like it was
about I reckon if.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
I was, So, this is the wall socket like it was.
It's burnt. The wall socket is burnt right next to
my bed.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
It's like it's almost as a candle out. Yeah, all
the care and all dust goes over the lid. It
looks like that on the socket.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
It's all black smoke. The plug is completely melted. So
flames were coming out. Flames were out right next to
my head.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
The room was full of.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Smoke, and I was like, oh my god, I just
I don't even it was black and like the light
went on and I just ripped the plug out of.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
The wall, picked it up, threw it into the bathroom.
Because my room is all carpet and bedding and stuff.
I was like, the pouse is going to burn down.
Threw it into the bathroom tiles, and then my bath
mat was there. So I got the bath mat and
just soaked it. This is in seconds in a black
I don't even know how I was operated and dropped.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
To the bath mat on top of smother, just to
smother what was the flames that were there, just to
put it out. And I was like my heart was beating,
and I thought if I didn't wake up because of
the smell, my room would have been on fire, like
seconds away from disaster.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
That is a terrifying situation.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, And I could not believe my whole house from
that tiny little socket smells of It's like a fire
has been in there. Like I cannot get the less.
I could not get the smell out. So I've turned
all like the power off. I'm gonna get the electrician
and to come and check the sockets.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
But I don't even know what my warning is here,
Like I don't even know there's not a warning, but
I guess it actually, I guess it is.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I guess it's like don't leave those kind of heaters
on through the night, yeah, because that could happen.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
But I mean, like.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
You're in situations where it's like, what's the alternative? Your
house is fucking freezing? You want to be warm enough
to actually like be comfortable. It's the housing standards in
Australia are actually cooked, Like it's actually not reasonable.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
And not cooked like hot. Yeah, like your heart is
on fire.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Do you know what? Though?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
The only thing I'm very grateful for in that situation
that I have sleeping issues, and I know it's that
it wasn't the heater out in the land room near Delilah. Oh.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I thought the same thing. I would never leave that on.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
But the other thing, I took a sleeping tablet last
night because I do have trouble sleeping, so I had
taken a sleeping tablet.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Imagine if that's how potent the fire smell was. So
I'm so so lucky.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
But you hear, unfortunately, you hear fires that electrical fires
in a home, you know, over Christmas time, you always
hear it's Christmas lights or it's it's the extra things
that are plugged in.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
So just be careful. That's my how are you? Did
you nearly die last night?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I didn't. I had a wonderful sleep. I got one
hundred percent on my sleep score. You said that no
one really cares about that. I disagree. I had a
great sleep, And I'm really sorry that.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
That story has absolutely rocked me because that is fucking terrifying.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I love that I'm putting fire out at nine you
have one hundred percent sleeps.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I got kudos from my Whoop app. It's wonderful. I'm
feeling great.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
But something did happen to me yesterday afternoon, and I
thought back to the episode that you and Laura recorded
of as gun Cut last week that we got a
lot of feedback about. So it was the question where
there were a couple they had a click and collect
the director boot order for their groceries, right and they
went to the store and I think because of the
Microsoft outage, like things hadn't been processed properly.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
So they collected their groceries.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
They got home and they got this notification saying that
they would get a re fund for their order because
it wasn't able to be processed.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But they already got their order.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
They'd already got it, and.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
So they were having this debate between them where her
partner was saying, we should tell them, and we should
you know, own up to the fact that we did
get them and we should pay for them.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
She was saying, I think we should just take the.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Win because they're struggling farmers. They've been in drought.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I almost don't even know if those factors matter.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Time, it does matter. I think those factors mean a lot.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I was kind of seeing and.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
I was like, I wouldn't even batter a single eyelash
to this, which was the feedback that we got from
most people being like, grocery stores are not the little
dog in this scenario. If it was a small business,
probably would have felt differently. So overwhelming feedback was that
most people were like me. So last night, I'm at
the grocery store down the road from my house.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Oh, here we go, TI. She's gonna blame master of
a tight ass.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You know the reduced items.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Always go through those because I'm like, if it's something
that I actually need, yeah, I'll get the reduced one.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Going to use it tonight, no worries. There was a
packet of chicken.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Breast and it was reduced because you had to use
it by tomorrow, and.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I was like, that's not a problem. I'm cooking this tonight.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
So I had a reduce sticker on it and I
got to the counter and I went through self serve
and I scanned it and it came up as zero
dollars and four cents, and I was like, winning, But
that's that's not stealing for you, because that's you scanned
the barcode, that's the price of it.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
That's the price.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Absolutely, the actual price on the sticker was eight dollars
and eighty cents or something like that, right, So you
put it in my way for it, put it in
my little bag in the self serve checkout where it
weighs it, and.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
It comes up with their like, oh you haven't bagged
the item, blah blah blah. And I was like, you know,
kip bagging, skip.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Click a board, get out, because the anxiety that the
checkout person is going to come and actually go through
and compare what you've scared.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
It's exactly what happened.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
And I was like, I don't know, I don't know why,
Like you know, I'm playing by the rules, scanning your way.
And he looked at it, and he looked in the
bag and I was like, that's the chicken.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And he looked and then he saw the price. Anyway.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
I was like, mate, just let me play on. It's
scanned as chicken. It's not my fault. It's been put
in as the wrong price. I didn't say this, I
was thinking it in my head. I was just trying
to get away with eight dollars. Anyway, this ended up
in a three minute debacle, three staff members trying to
avoid the price, and I was like, it wasn't even
worth the reduction in the chicken.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
It wasn't worth the four set.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
No, they made me pay the full price.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
They entered it as like a miscellaneous sale, and I
was like, you're not a person of the people.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Okay, well, I think this is on you.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I don't know, because you should have when you put
it in the basket to be weighed, you have to
hold it up a bit so it doesn't know the
actual word because obviously it thought it was like an
apple or something.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
No, it came up as chicken breast. It came up
as like it.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
I think that when they entered it into the system
as the reduced price, they'd put it in wrong.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
And I don't know how to system worked out that.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
I don't know how it happened, but it ended up
wasting me time and money.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Well not wasting money, because you paid what it was
supposed to be. Do you know. I was genuinely.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Surprised from the feedback that we got on that ask
gun cut that you guys were far too virtuous. Well,
I say that because I genuinely thought more people would.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
And I said this off camera, like when we were
discussing it.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I said, oh, I think the majority of people would
take this back and do the right thing, or at
least feel extremely guilty, like.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
It's take it, but at least have that.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Little smidja guilt like you throw the guilt in on
the side.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But they weren't you mother buckers.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
You were like steal that, steal your groceries. You wasn't
stealing it was their stuff.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
You own that, But I was, I mean, all for it.
You all gave your valid reasons.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
I'm not here to judge anyone except to say that
I was semi shook us to the core.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I wasn't shocked at all.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I would not feel gill and I want my chicken
for four cents ago.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
The overarching feedback was if it was a small business,
that people would take it back, but they could not
care less about the big conglomerate switch.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Fair.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
All right, let's get into the vibes your dirty little thieves.
This week. I'm gonna vibe. And I decided to like
really lean into it.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I have done my hair with the curls. The curls
that you've all been talking about. No one's been talking
about it. The curls that I have been rocking the
last week or two. And I do get a lot
of d MS about it. So you saw, if you're
following me on Instagram, I tried out these heatless curls
in my hair that you sleep in, and I sort
of was knocking them. I was like, this is ridiculous,
this is not going to work, Like, how do people
(14:33):
sleep in this?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Anyway? I'm obsessed.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Is it worth not having my night sleep? Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Is it worth almost signing a fire in my room?
Because I did have the.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Curls that's what saved you. Maybe you should be thanking.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
The heatless curl No, if anything, it's material. If a
flame got onto that heatless curl in my head, my
hair would be I mean, I'd have more worries and cares.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Flammable anyway it is?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah, I have burnt my hair before on a candle,
so I can confirm that it's flammable. So you can
get these heatless material curls anywhere, right, Like, there's so
many brands. I originally found it by just googling them online.
Found one on Amazon or something.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
But I've got one from Mermaid Hair. You can get
them from literally like any Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
But the difference with mine is it has four I'm
gonna call them like doodles almost because they's like tentacle tentacles,
thank you, bit nicer.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
So you put like a comb.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
It's like got a little tiny comb that you put
in the front of your head at your hairline, and
you split your hair and you literally just semi dry
your hair almost dry, wrap them around, put them up.
I put them in a bunch on my head and
so I can sleep better. Take them out in the morning,
and your curls are incredible. My particular one is called
Bouncy Blowband. That's where I got it from. They've got
loads of hair stuff on there.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
But that's it. Four tentacles. You can do. Two tentacles
My vibes for the week.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
And I'm saying clarial because I'm gonna quickly put one
in here because Laura's not here. So the first one
is an episode of Modern Wisdom.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It is the.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Podcast by Chris Williamson who is to Australia soon.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I love how many times you have planted seeds like
your Vibes are someone that you want to speak to.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Okay, guys, it's in the works.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
He's coming to Australia and we are in the process
of securing an interview with him.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
He's one of the biggest podcasts in the world. He's
originally from Love Island.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
But he has his podcast Modern Wisdom. It is one
of the world leading podcasts. He has a particular episode
really recent. It came out like a day and a
half ago. It is with Andrew Wilkinson and it's called
how to Stop Feeling like your success is Never enough.
It is all about happiness, shifting of goals, kind of
reaching that goal and realizing that once you get there,
(16:38):
you kind of just want more, and you want more
and more and more, and you're never going to feel
as though you get satisfaction from what your original goal was.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
The goalpost keeps moving.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yeah, it's pretty far in the like self help. If
you're into that type of stuff, you will like it.
If you're not into it, you'll probably find it a
bit of a drag because it's a long episode.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
It goes for like two hours or something like that.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
But I also don't per personally as a podcast and
someone that consumes a lot of podcasts the time. Like
the length of a podcast doesn't bother me. Like when
I see.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
A podcast that could go for two plus hours, it
doesn't turn me off because I don't need to listen
to it only one. Like I'll happily start it, go
for half an hour, walk, and then pick it up
the next day. Yeah, but I know a lot of
people don't it almost. I think it depends on your
listening habits. I think it depends if you're the type
of person who listens while you commute, or whether you
do the dog walk, or for me, I mean, I'm
such a consumer of content through audio mediums, so I
(17:31):
love to have it on almost at all times. I'll
have it while I'm showering, while I'm getting ready for anything,
while I'm driving, while I'm walking, like whatever it is,
I like to have something playing. My other vibe for
the week is potentially the most exorbitant vibe I have
ever had in my life.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'm going to tell you you do not need this.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
It is a want so a couple of weeks ago
and leading up until I got this because we wear headphones,
Like I wear headphones so much, because after we record
the podcast.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I then go and edit, and I edit a lot.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
And I want to make this really clear, we wear
road headphones when we record. I'm not speaking about these ones.
I'm speaking about another pair that I had. I was
getting really bad headaches because the pressure of where the
headband sits on my head too much. I don't know, Like,
no matter how much I adjusted it, it was just
giving me really, really, really bad headaches. I tried on
my friend Soave's headphones at one point, and I was like,
(18:25):
what is this luxury? How if I never felt this before?
She was like, Oh, they're the Apple AirPod Max headphones.
And I was like, well, I gotta get me some
of these.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Oh god, how much they retail.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
For eight hundred and ninety nine dollars.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
That's an expensive headphone.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
So to be clear, these are not earbud AirPods. They're
the ones that go over your head the headband type right,
and they see over your ears.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
They are the most comfortable things I've ever had in
my life.
Speaker 5 (18:51):
I am now wearing them by choice, like I've switched
out my AirPods, the ones that like I put into
my ears, and I have just been wearing them.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
The sound quality is obviously very very good.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
That's not why I purchased them. I purchased them because
of the comfort. So I feel like for me, I
can justify it because persontly tax right off.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Second, I was about to say it's a tax deduction,
but also there'd be a lot of people out there
that would not be wearing headphones for the length of
time that you are, So I think it's more to
those people that are like excessive headphone uses.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
But I do think that people wear them more now,
like people who work from home a lot. If they've
got meetings and that kind of thing, they have to
wear headphones. It's, you know, to block out the sound
that's around them and whatever. But yeah, if you are
in the market for a really good, really comfortable pair
of headphones, I highly recommend to the Apple AirPod Max.
I did get them on a fifteen percent off sale,
(19:39):
so you can get them on sale every now and then.
Right now, they're on sale on Amazon for seven hundred
and eight dollars.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Buggin.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Firstly, I don't want anyone to be like, this.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Is the most unrelatable thing you've just spoken about, trying
to get chicken for four cents.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Well, this is why, because it's all about balance. This
is why you can't eat this week.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Hey, let's get into the questions.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
A few years ago, when I was around seven months pregnant,
I noticed a condom missing from the pack. The only
reason I noticed this was because we don't use condoms
and had only been using them while we were going
through fertility treatment, and we were advised to use them
prior to egg collection an embryo transfer.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
So that is a thing like when you are doing
your egg transfers and stuff, you.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Have to wear condoms.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You have to be really really careful because you don't
want to be implanted with an embryo like you don't
want to conceive at the same time. Basically, I confronted
my husband about it, and he said he just likes
to wear them when he relieves himself because he likes
the feeling of it. Fast forward to now and we
have been trying for a second baby for almost nine months.
We have embryos frozen, so I've decided to go through
(20:44):
fertility treatment again. We have been advised to use condoms
to avoid multiple pregnancies, et cetera. My husband hasn't used
any of ours since then or told me that he's
bought more. For the past few months, he's been working
away a few nights a week and staying at a
friend's house while he's way. Now this friend is married
with kids. The other day, our two year old was
going through his bag, which he does a lot. He
(21:06):
opened a zipper up and pulled out two condoms from
his bag, saying, daddy biscuits.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
So many things are running through my head.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
A few hours passed and a comment was made and
we ended up talking about it. He told me again
that he liked the feeling of ejaculating in a condom
and that I had nothing to worry about. My sex
drive has been very low the last few months because
we're trying for a baby and sex now feels like
a chore. He doesn't want to push me or put
any pressure, so he says he finds the need to
relieve himself, which I do understand. I explained to him
(21:39):
why it seems suss. He understood where I was coming
from and said he never even saw it that way.
I don't know if this is a red flag and
he's lying to me, or is this legitimately a thing
that people come in condoms where they masturbate and I
should be trusting him. We're about to have another embryo transfer,
and I'm just all over the place with my emotions
and how I feel about this. I don't have actual
(21:59):
proof he done anything wrong or cheated. I don't have
any other reasons not to trust him. My mind is
just jumping to conclusions because of the missing condoms.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
What the fuck? Okay the show she said, what the fuck?
Speaker 5 (22:12):
Not me. My initial thoughts on this were very, very
very different to when I spoke to my boyfriend about
this last night, because I was like, hmm, male opinion.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
My initial opinion was I would also be suspicious as anything.
This sounds really clear that perhaps something odd is going on.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Oh yeah, my brain would have jumped straight to like
he's doing the dirty.
Speaker 5 (22:35):
I mean, there's kind of a few factors, more condoms
than what you expected to be missing, different packets, staying.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Away for work, like having him in your bag.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I would have been like, oh, the writing kind of
sounds like it's on the wall. My boyfriend had a
very very different opinion, and he was like, yeah, it's
called a poshwink, and I.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Was like, it's called a what is that?
Speaker 5 (22:53):
The technical name Okay, so I've googled, Sorry, I've urban
diction read it.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Is that a verb?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (22:59):
It says to wang using a condom. It then says
number two or if you're really posh, you get your
butler to do it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Kind of gross.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
I don't think they have a butler.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Okay, So poshwank is apparently a thing, And I mean,
I don't want to yuck anyone's yum.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
But we hear all the time that guy's like, well,
it doesn't feel good when I've got a condom one.
Speaker 5 (23:18):
And for whatever knows reason, Yeah, but apparently it is
a thing, So it is possible that your husband actually
does like the feeling of it. Also, if he is
doing it while he's staying in way, like at someone
else's house.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Well don't be doing it at your friend's house.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
I kind of feel like this is a respectful version
of it because the cleanup's easy.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
It is hands down. If you were to masturbate at
a friend's house.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Yes, it's respectful, but it is not respectful to masturbate
at a friend's house. You reckon no, especially if you're
only going there to stay for one night. It's like
you've got a sick fetish that you're saving it up
for the friend's house. If you are going to stay
a friend's house for one night a month or whatever
it is, why are you banking your wank friends out?
Like maybe because he feels more comfortable just doing it
(24:03):
when you know he's partners.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Like, I don't know, I don't know if I understand,
I do understand. I want to say, like, I get
that some people masturbate into a condom for cleanliness, totally
get that. And if that's your thing, that's fine. And
it does sound like he's not doing anything else that's
giving you a red flag. There's no other reason for
you to think that. My only question is and I
(24:27):
don't want to say this to put like thoughts into
somebody's head, but the thing that I think here is
if he's saying he masturbates into a condom because he
loves the feeling of it, why doesn't he like to
wear them when you're having sex?
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Because if he likes the feeling so much.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
We don't know if sex and masturbation are the same, though.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
And I don't know either. That's why I'm posing the question.
I'm not a man, I don't have a penis and
I've never jacked off myself like that, so.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I don't know, do you know?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I would almost be asking, And maybe I'll do a
round of male friends. I'll ask a bunch of my
male friends and we'll report back next week.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
But maybe you should ask. If you have some male
friends that are close to you that you trust and
you respect their opinion, et cetera, maybe ask them say,
is this something that maybe you don't do it, but
maybe other men do it because a lot of men,
even if they don't do something, they know the trends
that other men are doing. They know if something is.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, I get what you mean.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
I mean, it's kind of one of those things though,
if it's like if it's not normal and putting that
in quotation marks, does it matter like he might like it.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's kind of one of those things.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
And it's like, well, I think, firstly, I want to
validate you in the sense that I don't think you're crazy,
and I also don't think it's your hormones that are
making you think that this is suspicious behavior. Like I
think anyone in this situation would be a little bit
raising their eyebrows going this seems odd.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You know this seems unusual.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
I think it's gonna have to be one of those
things that you accept his answer for what he said,
and you accept that maybe that's how he does like
to pleasure himself, and that's fine if it is. You know,
he's not doing anything wrong, as you've said, and maybe
just look for other signs. I don't I don't want
to say, like, look for the other signs. I think
in this situation you kind of just have to accept
(26:03):
that this could very likely be the truth, and until
you are given other reasons to suspect otherwise, you just
have to accept that that's the case. Well, the only
other thing is she does make a point. I'm just
really reading the question, and to be clear, I just
made a mistake. He does he stays a few nights
a week, not a few nights a month, so it's
pretty frequently. She does say that if he likes using
(26:25):
condoms to masturbate, more condoms haven't disappeared from the pack
we already had, so it's not like he is actually
using them for that.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
It's just the sporadic few.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So she's like, more haven't been used, and also he
hasn't said he's bought Moore so that's more of a
red flag if it's just a few for me. But
there's nothing that you can do in this situation at
the end of the day, Like this is your husband
and you have to either trust what he's saying or
not trust what he's saying, and the conversation has to happen.
But if he's giving you no other reason, I think
(26:57):
you have to take it at face value and take
his word for it. But for sure your ears are
going to be pricked now, like you are going to
be taking a lot of notice about other things that
are happening, things he's saying, And I think that's okay,
But at the end of the day, if you can't
trust your partner, you need to have those conversations about why,
and then you need to decide moving forward if you're
going to believe them or not, because there's nothing else
(27:17):
to do. You can't stay in a relationship where you're
questioning every move that they make and if they're being
faithful to you. And it sucks, but at the end
of the day, that's what you've got to do. You've
either got to roll with it and trust him or not.
But then what do you do if you.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Don't you know, And they're in the position where she's
about to have a second embryo transferred.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, but you're definitely not Also what Keisha said, like
you're definitely not overreacting or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Like, these are all very valid.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
I would do exactly the same thing if I saw
Ben had condoms in his.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Bag knowing we don't use them.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Yeah, and he stayed away a couple of nights and
he was going away a few nights a week or
something like that, I'd be.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Like, and he smelt like women's perfume.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Yeah, Like that's the one thing that I want to
be careful saying, Like if it were me, I think
it would kind of made me put a bit of
a magnifying glass on some of the other behaviors. But
that's such a negative place to be in your relationship.
Like it's when you've planted that seed of suspicion.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I feel as though you look for things.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
That otherwise you wouldn't and it can be such a
poison in your relationship. So you're in a really, really
tricky position. But I think play on for now and
maybe just keep your wits about you for other behaviors
that don't quite add up, and maybe you'll ask questions
about those a little sooner than what you otherwise would have. Yeah,
alrighty question number two. I've got a friend who seems
(28:33):
to chase chaos in relationships. She is clearly the reason
her last wonderful relationship didn't work out, and since then
she has dated multiple toxic guys back to back. She
says she loves the red flags as if it's funny,
until it's not so much funny anymore. She also never
takes accountability for her bad behavior. I wish I didn't
get invested and didn't care what she did with relationships,
(28:54):
but it's put me off of our friendship. She's never
done anything bad to me, but I find myself with
the E and not really wanting to hang out with
her because I can't possibly listen to one more of
these chaotic and red flag guys stories. Am I being
a bad friend?
Speaker 1 (29:11):
We've never had an ick in a friendship before? Come
into lifeln gerd. I've actually don't think I've ever had
an ick in a friendship, have you?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I've had friendships deteriorate, but for different reasons, not because
like the ick for me, I relate to a relationship
where you're like, don't kiss me, don't touch me. The
thought of your tongue in my mouth or in any
crevice is disgusting. But for a friendship, I've never had
that revulsion.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Before, you know, Yeah, for.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Me, I don't think it's revulsion. I think it's actually
get to the limit of your exhaustion. And I've been
in a similar.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Situation to this before.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
The reason that I got to that point was because
these chaotic stories, they can be very fun, but they
can become almost like you feel as though in the relationship,
the person is coming to you and they're telling you
the stories, and they're so large.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And full of emotion and like it's so hectic that
you're like whoa, Like that's a lot.
Speaker 5 (30:09):
And when that happens time after time after time, you
can be put in this position where you're like, I'm
not your therapist, Like I'm not your therapist and I'm
not here to kind of unpack the ins and outs
of this.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Over and over and over and over.
Speaker 5 (30:22):
And it kind of depends on whether they're telling you
these stories because they think they're funny or because they
want your advice and they kind of want to vent
to you because I do think that there's a limit
to how much you can kind of tolerate just as
a bystander in the situation.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Does that make sense, Yeah, I think what it.
Speaker 5 (30:38):
Is for me is it's really frustrating when you hear
a friend that might always be the victim in something
when you know they're not actually the victim. That's what
this screams to me, Like, she's like, you know, it
never works out.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
It's me, I'm the common denominator.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
But you have given them the same advice over and
over again, and you've watched them do the same thing
over and over again.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
That's when it's frustrating.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
That's when it's like, I don't know what to fucking
tell you anymore, Like you want this, That's when it
gets really hard.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
And maybe she does want it.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Maybe she is thriving off that and that's something that
she needs to unpack. Maybe she's actually commitment avoidant. And
a lot of people We've spoken about this so many times,
but a lot of people feel like they need that
in a relationship to feel alive or to feel like
that the relationships worth fighting for, you know, it's just love.
This chaos and this roller coaster is because we have
(31:25):
so much chemistry and we love each other so much,
and like it's bullshit.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
We all know that that's bullshit. We've unpacked that enough
to know that interestingly. And I really want to sit
in this point for a bit, and I'm speaking before
anyone kind of comes to me and is like, how
do you say this? I'm speaking from the perspective of
someone who has experienced this and has.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
A variety of psychiatric conditions.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
I found crazy, Kisha, well literally though It's been really
interesting for me since being diagnosed a medicaid for ADHD,
looking back on some of my past relationship and dating experiences,
I had absolutely no awareness how much I chased a
dopamine hit in relationships. It made me so impulsive, it
made me do things just to feel something.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
But I didn't know at the time that that's what
it was. I thought that that's just how I was.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
And I experienced the highs in relationships and what came.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
With that was the very, very down lows.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
So I think it can be a very different conversation
when you're talking about someone who is not neurochemically balanced.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
You know, that's the current theories I've.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
Experienced friends do this as well, and I relate to
that chaos chasing because it makes you feel so much
dopamine at the time, and it sounds a little bit
like maybe your friend is someone who does experience a
similar thing, and maybe, like me, they didn't have as
much awareness of the fact that that's what they were
doing and that's why she's chasing these same guys over
(32:49):
and over and over again. But you're in the position
where you're like, this is exhausting and I don't want
to hear about this anymore. And I don't think you're
a bad person for doing that. I wouldn't have felt
as though someone was a bad person for feeling that
way about my stories, even though at the time I
would have been like, oh, that's pretty offensive and hurtful
to me. Now looking back on it, I'm like, oh,
(33:10):
I completely understand why they would have been put in
that position. Yeah, it's one thing if like, it's one
thing if you are really trying in your dating life,
or even if it's not even dating, like even if
you're just doing.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Hookups or whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
It is if you are really trying and you are
just unlucky and keep meeting dickheads that are treating you
badly and it is chaos, then that's different. But when
your friend is constantly like coming to you, laughing, telling
you the same shit you've given them, the same advice,
this has been going on for years, then I think
you are completely in your right and it does not
make you a bad friend to step away a little bit,
(33:42):
because at the end of the day, you can only
do so much and be so much, and you are
not going to be a good friend if you are
sitting there looking at your friend, listening to her talk
to you, being like I could think of nothing fucking
worse than sitting here right now. Like if your internal
monologue is like I want to be somewhere else, then
you probably we should be somewhere else. But I don't
think that makes you a bad friend at all. I
(34:03):
think it's really important to note too that friendships, and
I've gone through this so with so many friends over
the years and decades, friendships come and go.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Sometimes they are situational, you know. Sometimes they are for
a period. What's that super crazy.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Season or a lifetime?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah, that super crunsyr quote that Laura would have posted
a hundred times in her life in every relationship. Yeah,
friends are like a season for a reason or a
lifetime whatever, you know. And I've had all of them,
and I think everyone has had all of them. And
I think everyone listening to this right.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Now knows exactly or has had a friend in this
situation before. I do think you talked to her before
you just abort mission that. I think you can say
you're the problem, it's not me.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
If you actually can say that, like if she knows
that too, and she's talking about it, you have to say,
like this is this is going to keep happening to
you as long as you're aware, this will keep happening
over and over if you keep doing the same behavior
over and over and then it doesn't have to be
a big friend breakup.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
But you can easily just pull back and not be
as available.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Like that's fine, Like, hey, we're adults now, everyone has
busy lives. He can say, hey, not available this week anymore.
Maybe catch you So maybe you catch ups a bit
more sporadic.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
But at the end of the day, fuck no, it
doesn't make you a bad friend.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
I think the only caveat that I want you to
be a little bit aware of is whether you're projecting
your own desires for relationship standards onto the other person.
And what I mean by that is, does this person
want a long term relationship but they're acting super chaotic,
they're accepting really toxic behavior. They're also doing really toxic behavior,
and they're wanting this fairy tale outcome.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
That's incongruent.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
But if they want to just be having fun and
dating and like, they don't want anything serious and they
don't want anything long term, then you kind of expecting
that that's what they want for their own life and
judging that choice and their behaviors towards it probably isn't
the right thing either.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, but she does say she loves like the girl
says she loves red flags. Yeah, like she's in her
red flag era. Go queen, We've all had our red
flag era, but you.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Might be weren't aware that that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
But it's hard.
Speaker 5 (36:09):
It's hard when you're in your red flag era and
everyone around you's in the green flag era, Like when
you've come through the cyclone of the red flag era
and you're out the other end.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
It's hard to be in different places.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
So let her do a thing, if that's what she's frothing,
then like, that's on her as long as as long
as she's happy in it.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
But seems weird.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
To be happy in the red flag era.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
Some people get highs from it, like sometimes you get
the thrill from it, and I think that you kind
of hit the nail on the head. It depends on
whether she is making herself the victim in these situations
and whether she's making out that all this behavior is
happening to her she's so unlucky. Yes, she's not really
taking any accountability. To me, it screams of the type
of person who's like, I just didn't feel the spark
for anyone who is not super toxic. So it really
(36:53):
does depend on a couple of things. But I don't
think you're a bad friend for feeling this way. It
just sounds as though your values are different at the moment.
So take a little bit of a st back, don't
cut the friendship off completely, you know.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
But yeah, like you said.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Sporadic, Yeah, sporadic, catchup at a movie where you can't
talk jokes, okay. Question number three, My family is going
on a big holiday for an entire week. I'm talking
about my sisters, their husbands and their kids, my parents
and me. Everyone's in like relationships and families. But I'm single.
(37:25):
I love you doing the math, thank you.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
I'm counting them, like, how many people are we talking?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
One of my sisters has been the arranger of the
entire trip. It was her idea, so she has booked
and budgeted everything and explained how much everything is costing
and how it's going to be split. Now it's coming
to the crushing time of paying everything and getting close
to us all going. But I'm starting to feel as
if things haven't been fairly budgeted.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
What's your perspective.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
We are three sisters helping to pay towards our parents' holiday. However,
two of us have partners also contributing this.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Okay, bear with me.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Two of us have partners also contributing to the third
expected on each of our behalfs. Then there is me,
who has to support the whole third on my own.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
There's a lot of mass here.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I'm going to do the math.
Speaker 5 (38:10):
So there's sister one with a partner, so that's two people,
Sister two with a partner. That's four single sister who's
written the question in so that's five plus the parents
so seven people. Yeah, but the costs are split between
the three sisters.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
And in those three sisters, two are in a couple, yeah,
and one is alone.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Okay, I understand.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
So her question is is this just the way the
cookie crumbles or should this actually be split by five
to include my sister's husbands? I I mean, oh, this
is just down to the family dynamic, because technically speaking, yes,
the husbands are part of the family, But is it
their responsibility to be paying when the sisters have said
(38:53):
let's cover our parents. I am leaning on Yes, I'm
actually lee and I think that this happens not just
with holidays. I think it happens with Christmas and birthday presence.
When you're the single one and the other people, like
your siblings are in couples, it's always like, hey, do
you want to get Mum and dadd a present? Or
do you want to get you know, Auntie blah blah
(39:13):
blah a present?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
And it's split evenly between you and your sibling.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
But your siblings in a partnership, and then you've got
to get them both birthday presents and Christmas presents, but
you only get one in return because it's a joint gifference,
like this is feeling very.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Personal from Keisha's behalf.
Speaker 5 (39:29):
And sister in the way are very very generous, But
I think that this happened. This kind of like splitting
of money, happens within more dynamics than what just a
holiday would and I can firstly understand why you are
a bit miffed about this.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
How weever, is.
Speaker 5 (39:46):
It split evenly between the five of you to account
for the more cost towards your parents?
Speaker 2 (39:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
I don't know if it's one of those situations where
it's like an even five because they're your parents and
your sister's parents, but they're not their parents.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Well that's why I mean. It depends on the family dynamic,
and it also depends on how.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Each individual couple does their finances, because whilst I think
the most healthy thing in a relationship is to be
sharing your finances, especially if you're married with kids, like
what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine? Not everyone
does that, but in this case, they're married with kids,
So these couples are locked and loaded. They're not newly dating,
because if they were newly dating, I'd be like fuck no,
like that's not on him, he's just coming to the family,
(40:28):
but they're settled, they got kids. I would probably expect
them to pay slightly more. Yes, that would be my answer,
and like that has happened before. I'm just trying to
think of myself with like Sharry and Jay, my sister
and her husband. When we've been going on just a
trip for the three of us, which we did loads.
We paid evenly thirds, like as individuals, not as their
(40:50):
couple and myself. So but that's just what suited us
and the way we were traveling. But I think if
this is a really big thing for you and upsetting you,
and maybe you're not financially in the position to do
that and to match what they are, you should have
that conversation with them.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
But I just think it's probably one of those conversations
moving forward that you need to have before you lock
it in and pay for it, so that you say, hey,
I think that you know, you guys might need to
put a little bit more in for this reason. Are
you guys happy with that? I don't know if it's
the conversation you.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
Have after the fact, after you've made the plans and
everyone's paid, and it's you know, she's paid and it's
time to pay up.
Speaker 5 (41:27):
I think it's a bit too late to have that conversation.
You could have it.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
You could pay it now and have the conversation to say, hey,
moving forward, I think would you guys be happy if
we were splitting it a bit more evenly between.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
All of us.
Speaker 5 (41:39):
I think it also depends on your relationship with your sisters,
because I've just.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Been doing the math in my head. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Love that not my strongest point, but I think what
would be deemed fair is you work out the cost
of the trip in seven portions, because that's each person,
and then you split the cost of your parents between
the three of you. So you split those two portions
(42:05):
by the three of you, and therefore the partners are
paying for their share in the holiday, but you guys,
as the siblings, are covering the costs of the parents.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah, if that could work ish.
Speaker 5 (42:17):
I like that. It is a lot of math, and
I don't know whether it's like achievable or if it's realistic,
but I do think that in these situations, it's also
kind of up to your sisters to acknowledge the fact
that that's not fair to you to be split like
to be putting in so much more, and you know
you're gonna get the ship room.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
I was about to say, you're on the fucking trundle.
You are on the trundle. You don't have a bathroom,
You've got the portal.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
You just know that that's a situation that's going to
play out.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Well.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
It's sort of like the equivalent of if you went
to dinner with them and you all paid evenly even.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Though they ate double.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
That happens all the time.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Yeah, that's what I mean. But even then, but even then,
most of the time, when you're at dinner, you'd be like, well,
you guys ate, so you pay doubles, do you like?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I just think when it comes to splitting money, it
can be such an.
Speaker 5 (43:06):
Awkward situation, and especially if you're not like super tight
with your sisters and you don't want to look like
you're the stingy one.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Especially if this was like your.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Idea to go on the holiday and you know, shout
your parents and kind of have the mixed Like you said,
I think it's going to be a hard thing to
bring up after the fact.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
It wasn't it was the other sister's idea. It was
a sister who planned and budgeted. It was her idea, which.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
She's quite the genius.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
She's the rich one.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
She's getting the discave holiday.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
She knows what's up. She's gone exactly where she wants
to for cheaper.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:34):
Yeah, I don't think it's fair that you split this
by three when there's seven people going and unless you
can bring a friend, can you bring a friend and
then like you're the friends, Nah, you can't. A friend's
not gone on a family holiday with kids and your
sister's husbands and your parents.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
They're not twelve.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Maybe you want someone there to share the experiences with you.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
I'm sure she does want someone there. Keisha thin Ice.
That's it from us today.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Guy.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
If you have any questions, please send them on in.
We love answering them.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Just send them to Instagram, Life on Cut podcast Just
put usk on Cut at the top.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
We always keep you anonymous. The juicier the better, and
also keep your accidently unfilters and anything else coming in
any ask and cut aftermass We love them all.
Speaker 5 (44:15):
I also love it when people are sendings to our
Instagram that they're like just thought of you guys when
I saw this. I love it, except if it's plant content.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Hey guys, just had.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
Anal with my husband and was thinking of you at
the same time.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
That's what we love.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Bless us, my soul, anything in the pop culture space.
Speaker 5 (44:29):
I love it when people are like, this sounds like
something that you guys would like to talk about.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Sometimes I'm like, thanks, you're.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Doing my dog for We actually love that. I get that.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
I get it to the personals too, like to just
to my personal Instagram. Hey saw this, thought you should
unpack it on the pod. I'm like, love it, I
love you.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Thank you, babe.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
You want to send those if you want us to
unpack something or speak to someone, interview someone. We genuinely
love that and we store them all away. We've got
a Google doc. We're very professional.
Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, we put on your O regime part time producer
for like podcast. We do have our vibes and unsubscribed
page on our website now. So if you've ever heard
a vibe that has been you know, a couple of
weeks ago and you can't remember what it was, you
can find it their Lifehuncut podcast dot com dot au.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
But it doesn't live forever.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
No, we're thinking about two months.
Speaker 5 (45:13):
Yeah, Max, Okay, Yeah, because otherwise, six hundred episodes that's
going to jam up.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
So guys, don't doodle on the vibe.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
Otherwise I'm gonna have to go back and learn more
about how to program a website, which is not a
strengthen min. We don't pay you enough for that.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
That's it from us, you know, the drill to your mum,
to your dad, tell you, don't tell your friends, and
share the love because we love love
Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
elders past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut.
Speaker 5 (00:25):
I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha, and producer Keish is feeling
for Laura today.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
We know Laura's been going through a lot of personal
stuff the last couple of months, so she is having
a few days with herself and her family. But we
love having you, Keish, So welcome to therapy Thursday.
Speaker 5 (00:40):
Ask Uncut, where we unpack your deep, dark, dirty, and burning.
I don't even know what the tag you think new questions, Yeah, dilemmas.
We should we get a literation deep dark, dirty dilemmas.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I mean we're five years deep and we haven't done that,
but we can update it us.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Thank you. I would appreciate.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Hey, Okay, you just did something that rocks to me,
shocked me to my core.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
You sat down and we're about to record. You were
chewing chewing gum and I was like, keeh, you can't
chew chewing gum on the record. No one wants to
hear that for an hour, and you were like, no worries.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
And swallowed it. I'm like, what kind of a sociopowse
swallows chewing gum.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's not my choice. You made a choice to do.
Speaker 5 (01:19):
No, you actually made the choice you had. You had
a choice to spit it out or swallow it. It's fair, yes,
the whole if you swallow it stays in your guart
for seven years.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Not true.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
I don't know who started the rumor. I don't know
why it took off so much.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
It's one of those myths that hes around as like
at school.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I mean, I can't imagine it being good for you.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I'm not recommending, but prior to the recording, I had
done a couple of things that just took up a
bit of extra time, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
We just need to we need to get started. We
got lots to do today.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
What things did you do that took up time? Keisha,
I don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
You had to go find an empty toilet block so
you could do a poop because you tried to do
one poop, you got poop anxiety. Poop anxiety because someone
was in a cubicle next year, so she had to
go out of the building to like another level. She
had to take a swine card go up three levels
till she found it him to cubicle so she could
take a dump.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Just do it.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
The amount of poop talk on the podcast makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
It's crazy how much poop anxiety you and Laura get.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
We get it very differently, though.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
She would have had no problem with the fact that
someone else is in the cubicle next to us, but
they're like, over my dead body. Would I comfortably sit
next to someone who I don't know who it is?
I don't know if I'd be more comfortable with an
anonymous person or with a friend. What if it was me,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I'd feel more comfortable with you than most other people.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
But Laura's made me leave the bathroom before. She's like
quick is brah, And then I'm like washing my hands,
and I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Like, okay, you know, I just it's a step in
the right direction.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Because I used to be the type of person when
I would first start dating a boy, I could hold
it for three days.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Woo.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
That is equally on par with swallowing you chewing gum
for how unhealthy that is for you.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
He just wasn't comfortable, Like it just wasn't comfortable.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
They would have to not be in the house, and
even then I'd be like, that was still no.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Do you know one time you've just made me remember this.
I can't even gonna say this. I remember when I
first started dating my ex. It's like I've Baltimore, Like
I can't use his name, Jordan, he must not be named. No,
he's great whatever when we first started dating.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
No, he's great. Everything's fine, I have we have really
good marriages. It's great.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
X send in love.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I was living right across from the beach, but I
lived in a tiny, like one bedroom apartment with a
tiny kitchen. Keisha lived there for a while, so she knows.
It had one bathroom, one bedroom.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
And the bathroom was right next to the bedroom, same.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Thin acoustics thing.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And the house was so small that if you did
do something that may have smells, it would have stung
the house out.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I remember, I was like he was just living at
my house, like we were inseparable.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Great, but I was like, oh my god, I need
to go so bad. What am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So I pretend I was like, I'm gonna go pick
up something to eat from the shops, and he was.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Like, oh come.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I was like, dah, you just chill, I'll go anyway.
I literally ran across the road to a public toilet.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I went to find a public toilet rather than at
the start and use my own bathroom.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
That is how much anxiety I had at the start.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think that's the most relatable thing I've ever heard
in my life.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
It takes a long time to be comfortable. I'll never
be comfortable with door open situation, like never ever, That's
not for me. But I feel like it's a step
in the right direction that I'm now. I mean, I
don't know if it's that I'm able to go at work.
So anyway, Yeah, I chose to go to the well.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Back to the chewing gum. It is a myth that
it stands in your stomach for seven years, but it's
not a myth that it's actually really bad for you.
So it doesn't ever break down. It will not break down.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It stays in there like corn straight through.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Well, it doesn't go straight through, but it does move
very slowly through and then it does just get excreted.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
But in children, I don't know why I'm going so
indepth into this, but in children it has been known
to like block their bowl passage and it can be
like really severe.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
So I think the myth starts so that kids don't
do it. Anyway, Probably good, let's move on.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
That's people come here for the education.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Far too much about our lives.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Well, I wanted to tell you something really serious that
happened to me last night. And this is not a joke.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But I could have died last night. And I'm not exaggerating,
And this is like a warning to people.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
This isn't a haha.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
This is not a haha.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
I literally feel like a message. Ben I said, I
think I could have died last night. Like that's how
close I think I was.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
So my house is really cold. I've talked to you
guys about that before. Like I don't have heating in
the house, and I'm always wearing jumpers. It's not insulated. Well,
it's freezing, so I do have heaters.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
I have a heater in my room because I've freeze
to death at night, and I have a heater in
the lound room. Anyway, I always put the heater on
for a couple of hours in my room before to
heat it up.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And then I turn it off. And so last night
I woke up because I was cold, so I put
the heater on. It's right next to my bed. I
don't even have to get out of bed. I lean
over and just put it on at the wall at
the soccer. So I put it on, and I was like,
I'll leave it on for an hour or so and
then I'll turn it off, just sort re heats.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
What type of heater is it.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
It's just a little portable heater like it's actually one
Ben bought me. Then this not I'm not blaming.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Ben, but Ben, you could have killed me.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I'm not blaming Ben. But if I'm blaming anyone, it's Ben.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
But its air, like an electric one, not gas. No, yeah,
you just plug it in electric. It heats so well.
And I've had it for months and months.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
It's fine.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
So I lean over put it on and then go
back to bed. And then I am woken at about
two in the morning. My smell woke me up, and
I'm lucky I'm a semi light sleeper. The smell woke
me up and I opened my eyes and I was like,
something is wrong. My whole room was smoke and I
looked down next to the bed flames like I'll.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Show you the photo.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
I was like, I'm about to dinifire, like it was
about I reckon if.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
I was, So, this is the wall socket like it was.
It's burnt. The wall socket is burnt right next to
my bed.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
It's like it's almost as a candle out. Yeah, all
the care and all dust goes over the lid. It
looks like that on the socket.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
It's all black smoke. The plug is completely melted. So
flames were coming out. Flames were out right next to
my head.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
The room was full of.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Smoke, and I was like, oh my god, I just
I don't even it was black and like the light
went on and I just ripped the plug out of.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
The wall, picked it up, threw it into the bathroom.
Because my room is all carpet and bedding and stuff.
I was like, the pouse is going to burn down.
Threw it into the bathroom tiles, and then my bath
mat was there. So I got the bath mat and
just soaked it. This is in seconds in a black
I don't even know how I was operated and dropped.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
To the bath mat on top of smother, just to
smother what was the flames that were there, just to
put it out. And I was like my heart was beating,
and I thought if I didn't wake up because of
the smell, my room would have been on fire, like
seconds away from disaster.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
That is a terrifying situation.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, And I could not believe my whole house from
that tiny little socket smells of It's like a fire
has been in there. Like I cannot get the less.
I could not get the smell out. So I've turned
all like the power off. I'm gonna get the electrician
and to come and check the sockets.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
But I don't even know what my warning is here,
Like I don't even know there's not a warning, but
I guess it actually, I guess it is.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I guess it's like don't leave those kind of heaters
on through the night, yeah, because that could happen.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
But I mean, like.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
You're in situations where it's like, what's the alternative? Your
house is fucking freezing? You want to be warm enough
to actually like be comfortable. It's the housing standards in
Australia are actually cooked, Like it's actually not reasonable.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
And not cooked like hot. Yeah, like your heart is
on fire.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Do you know what? Though?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
The only thing I'm very grateful for in that situation
that I have sleeping issues, and I know it's that
it wasn't the heater out in the land room near Delilah. Oh.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I thought the same thing. I would never leave that on.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
But the other thing, I took a sleeping tablet last
night because I do have trouble sleeping, so I had
taken a sleeping tablet.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Imagine if that's how potent the fire smell was. So
I'm so so lucky.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
But you hear, unfortunately, you hear fires that electrical fires
in a home, you know, over Christmas time, you always
hear it's Christmas lights or it's it's the extra things
that are plugged in.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
So just be careful. That's my how are you? Did
you nearly die last night?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I didn't. I had a wonderful sleep. I got one
hundred percent on my sleep score. You said that no
one really cares about that. I disagree. I had a
great sleep, And I'm really sorry that.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
That story has absolutely rocked me because that is fucking terrifying.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I love that I'm putting fire out at nine you
have one hundred percent sleeps.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I got kudos from my Whoop app. It's wonderful. I'm
feeling great.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
But something did happen to me yesterday afternoon, and I
thought back to the episode that you and Laura recorded
of as gun Cut last week that we got a
lot of feedback about. So it was the question where
there were a couple they had a click and collect
the director boot order for their groceries, right and they
went to the store and I think because of the
Microsoft outage, like things hadn't been processed properly.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
So they collected their groceries.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
They got home and they got this notification saying that
they would get a re fund for their order because
it wasn't able to be processed.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But they already got their order.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
They'd already got it, and.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
So they were having this debate between them where her
partner was saying, we should tell them, and we should
you know, own up to the fact that we did
get them and we should pay for them.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
She was saying, I think we should just take the.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Win because they're struggling farmers. They've been in drought.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I almost don't even know if those factors matter.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Time, it does matter. I think those factors mean a lot.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I was kind of seeing and.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
I was like, I wouldn't even batter a single eyelash
to this, which was the feedback that we got from
most people being like, grocery stores are not the little
dog in this scenario. If it was a small business,
probably would have felt differently. So overwhelming feedback was that
most people were like me. So last night, I'm at
the grocery store down the road from my house.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Oh, here we go, TI. She's gonna blame master of
a tight ass.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You know the reduced items.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Always go through those because I'm like, if it's something
that I actually need, yeah, I'll get the reduced one.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Going to use it tonight, no worries. There was a
packet of chicken.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Breast and it was reduced because you had to use
it by tomorrow, and.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I was like, that's not a problem. I'm cooking this tonight.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
So I had a reduce sticker on it and I
got to the counter and I went through self serve
and I scanned it and it came up as zero
dollars and four cents, and I was like, winning, But
that's that's not stealing for you, because that's you scanned
the barcode, that's the price of it.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
That's the price.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Absolutely, the actual price on the sticker was eight dollars
and eighty cents or something like that, right, So you
put it in my way for it, put it in
my little bag in the self serve checkout where it
weighs it, and.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
It comes up with their like, oh you haven't bagged
the item, blah blah blah. And I was like, you know,
kip bagging, skip.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Click a board, get out, because the anxiety that the
checkout person is going to come and actually go through
and compare what you've scared.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
It's exactly what happened.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
And I was like, I don't know, I don't know why,
Like you know, I'm playing by the rules, scanning your way.
And he looked at it, and he looked in the
bag and I was like, that's the chicken.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And he looked and then he saw the price. Anyway.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
I was like, mate, just let me play on. It's
scanned as chicken. It's not my fault. It's been put
in as the wrong price. I didn't say this, I
was thinking it in my head. I was just trying
to get away with eight dollars. Anyway, this ended up
in a three minute debacle, three staff members trying to
avoid the price, and I was like, it wasn't even
worth the reduction in the chicken.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
It wasn't worth the four set.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
No, they made me pay the full price.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
They entered it as like a miscellaneous sale, and I
was like, you're not a person of the people.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Okay, well, I think this is on you.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I don't know, because you should have when you put
it in the basket to be weighed, you have to
hold it up a bit so it doesn't know the
actual word because obviously it thought it was like an
apple or something.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
No, it came up as chicken breast. It came up
as like it.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
I think that when they entered it into the system
as the reduced price, they'd put it in wrong.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
And I don't know how to system worked out that.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
I don't know how it happened, but it ended up
wasting me time and money.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Well not wasting money, because you paid what it was
supposed to be. Do you know. I was genuinely.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Surprised from the feedback that we got on that ask
gun cut that you guys were far too virtuous. Well,
I say that because I genuinely thought more people would.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
And I said this off camera, like when we were
discussing it.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I said, oh, I think the majority of people would
take this back and do the right thing, or at
least feel extremely guilty, like.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
It's take it, but at least have that.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Little smidja guilt like you throw the guilt in on
the side.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But they weren't you mother buckers.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
You were like steal that, steal your groceries. You wasn't
stealing it was their stuff.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
You own that, But I was, I mean, all for it.
You all gave your valid reasons.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
I'm not here to judge anyone except to say that
I was semi shook us to the core.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I wasn't shocked at all.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I would not feel gill and I want my chicken
for four cents ago.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
The overarching feedback was if it was a small business,
that people would take it back, but they could not
care less about the big conglomerate switch.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Fair.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
All right, let's get into the vibes your dirty little thieves.
This week. I'm gonna vibe. And I decided to like
really lean into it.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I have done my hair with the curls. The curls
that you've all been talking about. No one's been talking
about it. The curls that I have been rocking the
last week or two. And I do get a lot
of d MS about it. So you saw, if you're
following me on Instagram, I tried out these heatless curls
in my hair that you sleep in, and I sort
of was knocking them. I was like, this is ridiculous,
this is not going to work, Like, how do people
(14:33):
sleep in this?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Anyway? I'm obsessed.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Is it worth not having my night sleep? Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Is it worth almost signing a fire in my room?
Because I did have the.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Curls that's what saved you. Maybe you should be thanking.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
The heatless curl No, if anything, it's material. If a
flame got onto that heatless curl in my head, my
hair would be I mean, I'd have more worries and cares.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Flammable anyway it is?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah, I have burnt my hair before on a candle,
so I can confirm that it's flammable. So you can
get these heatless material curls anywhere, right, Like, there's so
many brands. I originally found it by just googling them online.
Found one on Amazon or something.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
But I've got one from Mermaid Hair. You can get
them from literally like any Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
But the difference with mine is it has four I'm
gonna call them like doodles almost because they's like tentacle tentacles,
thank you, bit nicer.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
So you put like a comb.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
It's like got a little tiny comb that you put
in the front of your head at your hairline, and
you split your hair and you literally just semi dry
your hair almost dry, wrap them around, put them up.
I put them in a bunch on my head and
so I can sleep better. Take them out in the morning,
and your curls are incredible. My particular one is called
Bouncy Blowband. That's where I got it from. They've got
loads of hair stuff on there.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
But that's it. Four tentacles. You can do. Two tentacles
My vibes for the week.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
And I'm saying clarial because I'm gonna quickly put one
in here because Laura's not here. So the first one
is an episode of Modern Wisdom.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It is the.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Podcast by Chris Williamson who is to Australia soon.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I love how many times you have planted seeds like
your Vibes are someone that you want to speak to.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Okay, guys, it's in the works.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
He's coming to Australia and we are in the process
of securing an interview with him.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
He's one of the biggest podcasts in the world. He's
originally from Love Island.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
But he has his podcast Modern Wisdom. It is one
of the world leading podcasts. He has a particular episode
really recent. It came out like a day and a
half ago. It is with Andrew Wilkinson and it's called
how to Stop Feeling like your success is Never enough.
It is all about happiness, shifting of goals, kind of
reaching that goal and realizing that once you get there,
(16:38):
you kind of just want more, and you want more
and more and more, and you're never going to feel
as though you get satisfaction from what your original goal was.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
The goalpost keeps moving.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yeah, it's pretty far in the like self help. If
you're into that type of stuff, you will like it.
If you're not into it, you'll probably find it a
bit of a drag because it's a long episode.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
It goes for like two hours or something like that.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
But I also don't per personally as a podcast and
someone that consumes a lot of podcasts the time. Like
the length of a podcast doesn't bother me. Like when
I see.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
A podcast that could go for two plus hours, it
doesn't turn me off because I don't need to listen
to it only one. Like I'll happily start it, go
for half an hour, walk, and then pick it up
the next day. Yeah, but I know a lot of
people don't it almost. I think it depends on your
listening habits. I think it depends if you're the type
of person who listens while you commute, or whether you
do the dog walk, or for me, I mean, I'm
such a consumer of content through audio mediums, so I
(17:31):
love to have it on almost at all times. I'll
have it while I'm showering, while I'm getting ready for anything,
while I'm driving, while I'm walking, like whatever it is,
I like to have something playing. My other vibe for
the week is potentially the most exorbitant vibe I have
ever had in my life.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'm going to tell you you do not need this.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
It is a want so a couple of weeks ago
and leading up until I got this because we wear headphones,
Like I wear headphones so much, because after we record
the podcast.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I then go and edit, and I edit a lot.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
And I want to make this really clear, we wear
road headphones when we record. I'm not speaking about these ones.
I'm speaking about another pair that I had. I was
getting really bad headaches because the pressure of where the
headband sits on my head too much. I don't know, Like,
no matter how much I adjusted it, it was just
giving me really, really, really bad headaches. I tried on
my friend Soave's headphones at one point, and I was like,
(18:25):
what is this luxury? How if I never felt this before?
She was like, Oh, they're the Apple AirPod Max headphones.
And I was like, well, I gotta get me some
of these.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Oh god, how much they retail.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
For eight hundred and ninety nine dollars.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
That's an expensive headphone.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
So to be clear, these are not earbud AirPods. They're
the ones that go over your head the headband type right,
and they see over your ears.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
They are the most comfortable things I've ever had in
my life.
Speaker 5 (18:51):
I am now wearing them by choice, like I've switched
out my AirPods, the ones that like I put into
my ears, and I have just been wearing them.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
The sound quality is obviously very very good.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
That's not why I purchased them. I purchased them because
of the comfort. So I feel like for me, I
can justify it because persontly tax right off.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Second, I was about to say it's a tax deduction,
but also there'd be a lot of people out there
that would not be wearing headphones for the length of
time that you are, So I think it's more to
those people that are like excessive headphone uses.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
But I do think that people wear them more now,
like people who work from home a lot. If they've
got meetings and that kind of thing, they have to
wear headphones. It's, you know, to block out the sound
that's around them and whatever. But yeah, if you are
in the market for a really good, really comfortable pair
of headphones, I highly recommend to the Apple AirPod Max.
I did get them on a fifteen percent off sale,
(19:39):
so you can get them on sale every now and then.
Right now, they're on sale on Amazon for seven hundred
and eight dollars.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Buggin.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Firstly, I don't want anyone to be like, this.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Is the most unrelatable thing you've just spoken about, trying
to get chicken for four cents.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Well, this is why, because it's all about balance. This
is why you can't eat this week.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Hey, let's get into the questions.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
A few years ago, when I was around seven months pregnant,
I noticed a condom missing from the pack. The only
reason I noticed this was because we don't use condoms
and had only been using them while we were going
through fertility treatment, and we were advised to use them
prior to egg collection an embryo transfer.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
So that is a thing like when you are doing
your egg transfers and stuff, you.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Have to wear condoms.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You have to be really really careful because you don't
want to be implanted with an embryo like you don't
want to conceive at the same time. Basically, I confronted
my husband about it, and he said he just likes
to wear them when he relieves himself because he likes
the feeling of it. Fast forward to now and we
have been trying for a second baby for almost nine months.
We have embryos frozen, so I've decided to go through
(20:44):
fertility treatment again. We have been advised to use condoms
to avoid multiple pregnancies, et cetera. My husband hasn't used
any of ours since then or told me that he's
bought more. For the past few months, he's been working
away a few nights a week and staying at a
friend's house while he's way. Now this friend is married
with kids. The other day, our two year old was
going through his bag, which he does a lot. He
(21:06):
opened a zipper up and pulled out two condoms from
his bag, saying, daddy biscuits.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
So many things are running through my head.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
A few hours passed and a comment was made and
we ended up talking about it. He told me again
that he liked the feeling of ejaculating in a condom
and that I had nothing to worry about. My sex
drive has been very low the last few months because
we're trying for a baby and sex now feels like
a chore. He doesn't want to push me or put
any pressure, so he says he finds the need to
relieve himself, which I do understand. I explained to him
(21:39):
why it seems suss. He understood where I was coming
from and said he never even saw it that way.
I don't know if this is a red flag and
he's lying to me, or is this legitimately a thing
that people come in condoms where they masturbate and I
should be trusting him. We're about to have another embryo transfer,
and I'm just all over the place with my emotions
and how I feel about this. I don't have actual
(21:59):
proof he done anything wrong or cheated. I don't have
any other reasons not to trust him. My mind is
just jumping to conclusions because of the missing condoms.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
What the fuck? Okay the show she said, what the fuck?
Speaker 5 (22:12):
Not me. My initial thoughts on this were very, very
very different to when I spoke to my boyfriend about
this last night, because I was like, hmm, male opinion.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
My initial opinion was I would also be suspicious as anything.
This sounds really clear that perhaps something odd is going on.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Oh yeah, my brain would have jumped straight to like
he's doing the dirty.
Speaker 5 (22:35):
I mean, there's kind of a few factors, more condoms
than what you expected to be missing, different packets, staying.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Away for work, like having him in your bag.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I would have been like, oh, the writing kind of
sounds like it's on the wall. My boyfriend had a
very very different opinion, and he was like, yeah, it's
called a poshwink, and I.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Was like, it's called a what is that?
Speaker 5 (22:53):
The technical name Okay, so I've googled, Sorry, I've urban
diction read it.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Is that a verb?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (22:59):
It says to wang using a condom. It then says
number two or if you're really posh, you get your
butler to do it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Kind of gross.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
I don't think they have a butler.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Okay, So poshwank is apparently a thing, And I mean,
I don't want to yuck anyone's yum.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
But we hear all the time that guy's like, well,
it doesn't feel good when I've got a condom one.
Speaker 5 (23:18):
And for whatever knows reason, Yeah, but apparently it is
a thing, So it is possible that your husband actually
does like the feeling of it. Also, if he is
doing it while he's staying in way, like at someone
else's house.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Well don't be doing it at your friend's house.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
I kind of feel like this is a respectful version
of it because the cleanup's easy.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
It is hands down. If you were to masturbate at
a friend's house.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Yes, it's respectful, but it is not respectful to masturbate
at a friend's house. You reckon no, especially if you're
only going there to stay for one night. It's like
you've got a sick fetish that you're saving it up
for the friend's house. If you are going to stay
a friend's house for one night a month or whatever
it is, why are you banking your wank friends out?
Like maybe because he feels more comfortable just doing it
(24:03):
when you know he's partners.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Like, I don't know, I don't know if I understand,
I do understand. I want to say, like, I get
that some people masturbate into a condom for cleanliness, totally
get that. And if that's your thing, that's fine. And
it does sound like he's not doing anything else that's
giving you a red flag. There's no other reason for
you to think that. My only question is and I
(24:27):
don't want to say this to put like thoughts into
somebody's head, but the thing that I think here is
if he's saying he masturbates into a condom because he
loves the feeling of it, why doesn't he like to
wear them when you're having sex?
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Because if he likes the feeling so much.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
We don't know if sex and masturbation are the same, though.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
And I don't know either. That's why I'm posing the question.
I'm not a man, I don't have a penis and
I've never jacked off myself like that, so.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I don't know, do you know?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I would almost be asking, And maybe I'll do a
round of male friends. I'll ask a bunch of my
male friends and we'll report back next week.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
But maybe you should ask. If you have some male
friends that are close to you that you trust and
you respect their opinion, et cetera, maybe ask them say,
is this something that maybe you don't do it, but
maybe other men do it because a lot of men,
even if they don't do something, they know the trends
that other men are doing. They know if something is.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, I get what you mean.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
I mean, it's kind of one of those things though,
if it's like if it's not normal and putting that
in quotation marks, does it matter like he might like it.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's kind of one of those things.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
And it's like, well, I think, firstly, I want to
validate you in the sense that I don't think you're crazy,
and I also don't think it's your hormones that are
making you think that this is suspicious behavior. Like I
think anyone in this situation would be a little bit
raising their eyebrows going this seems odd.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You know this seems unusual.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
I think it's gonna have to be one of those
things that you accept his answer for what he said,
and you accept that maybe that's how he does like
to pleasure himself, and that's fine if it is. You know,
he's not doing anything wrong, as you've said, and maybe
just look for other signs. I don't I don't want
to say, like, look for the other signs. I think
in this situation you kind of just have to accept
(26:03):
that this could very likely be the truth, and until
you are given other reasons to suspect otherwise, you just
have to accept that that's the case. Well, the only
other thing is she does make a point. I'm just
really reading the question, and to be clear, I just
made a mistake. He does he stays a few nights
a week, not a few nights a month, so it's
pretty frequently. She does say that if he likes using
(26:25):
condoms to masturbate, more condoms haven't disappeared from the pack
we already had, so it's not like he is actually
using them for that.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
It's just the sporadic few.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So she's like, more haven't been used, and also he
hasn't said he's bought Moore so that's more of a
red flag if it's just a few for me. But
there's nothing that you can do in this situation at
the end of the day, Like this is your husband
and you have to either trust what he's saying or
not trust what he's saying, and the conversation has to happen.
But if he's giving you no other reason, I think
(26:57):
you have to take it at face value and take
his word for it. But for sure your ears are
going to be pricked now, like you are going to
be taking a lot of notice about other things that
are happening, things he's saying, And I think that's okay,
But at the end of the day, if you can't
trust your partner, you need to have those conversations about why,
and then you need to decide moving forward if you're
going to believe them or not, because there's nothing else
(27:17):
to do. You can't stay in a relationship where you're
questioning every move that they make and if they're being
faithful to you. And it sucks, but at the end
of the day, that's what you've got to do. You've
either got to roll with it and trust him or not.
But then what do you do if you.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Don't you know, And they're in the position where she's
about to have a second embryo transferred.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, but you're definitely not Also what Keisha said, like
you're definitely not overreacting or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Like, these are all very valid.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
I would do exactly the same thing if I saw
Ben had condoms in his.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Bag knowing we don't use them.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Yeah, and he stayed away a couple of nights and
he was going away a few nights a week or
something like that, I'd be.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Like, and he smelt like women's perfume.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Yeah, Like that's the one thing that I want to
be careful saying, Like if it were me, I think
it would kind of made me put a bit of
a magnifying glass on some of the other behaviors. But
that's such a negative place to be in your relationship.
Like it's when you've planted that seed of suspicion.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I feel as though you look for things.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
That otherwise you wouldn't and it can be such a
poison in your relationship. So you're in a really, really
tricky position. But I think play on for now and
maybe just keep your wits about you for other behaviors
that don't quite add up, and maybe you'll ask questions
about those a little sooner than what you otherwise would have. Yeah,
alrighty question number two. I've got a friend who seems
(28:33):
to chase chaos in relationships. She is clearly the reason
her last wonderful relationship didn't work out, and since then
she has dated multiple toxic guys back to back. She
says she loves the red flags as if it's funny,
until it's not so much funny anymore. She also never
takes accountability for her bad behavior. I wish I didn't
get invested and didn't care what she did with relationships,
(28:54):
but it's put me off of our friendship. She's never
done anything bad to me, but I find myself with
the E and not really wanting to hang out with
her because I can't possibly listen to one more of
these chaotic and red flag guys stories. Am I being
a bad friend?
Speaker 1 (29:11):
We've never had an ick in a friendship before? Come
into lifeln gerd. I've actually don't think I've ever had
an ick in a friendship, have you?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I've had friendships deteriorate, but for different reasons, not because
like the ick for me, I relate to a relationship
where you're like, don't kiss me, don't touch me. The
thought of your tongue in my mouth or in any
crevice is disgusting. But for a friendship, I've never had
that revulsion.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Before, you know, Yeah, for.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Me, I don't think it's revulsion. I think it's actually
get to the limit of your exhaustion. And I've been
in a similar.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Situation to this before.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
The reason that I got to that point was because
these chaotic stories, they can be very fun, but they
can become almost like you feel as though in the relationship,
the person is coming to you and they're telling you
the stories, and they're so large.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And full of emotion and like it's so hectic that
you're like whoa, Like that's a lot.
Speaker 5 (30:09):
And when that happens time after time after time, you
can be put in this position where you're like, I'm
not your therapist, Like I'm not your therapist and I'm
not here to kind of unpack the ins and outs
of this.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Over and over and over and over.
Speaker 5 (30:22):
And it kind of depends on whether they're telling you
these stories because they think they're funny or because they
want your advice and they kind of want to vent
to you because I do think that there's a limit
to how much you can kind of tolerate just as
a bystander in the situation.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Does that make sense, Yeah, I think what it.
Speaker 5 (30:38):
Is for me is it's really frustrating when you hear
a friend that might always be the victim in something
when you know they're not actually the victim. That's what
this screams to me, Like, she's like, you know, it
never works out.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
It's me, I'm the common denominator.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
But you have given them the same advice over and
over again, and you've watched them do the same thing
over and over again.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
That's when it's frustrating.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
That's when it's like, I don't know what to fucking
tell you anymore, Like you want this, That's when it
gets really hard.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
And maybe she does want it.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Maybe she is thriving off that and that's something that
she needs to unpack. Maybe she's actually commitment avoidant. And
a lot of people We've spoken about this so many times,
but a lot of people feel like they need that
in a relationship to feel alive or to feel like
that the relationships worth fighting for, you know, it's just love.
This chaos and this roller coaster is because we have
(31:25):
so much chemistry and we love each other so much,
and like it's bullshit.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
We all know that that's bullshit. We've unpacked that enough
to know that interestingly. And I really want to sit
in this point for a bit, and I'm speaking before
anyone kind of comes to me and is like, how
do you say this? I'm speaking from the perspective of
someone who has experienced this and has.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
A variety of psychiatric conditions.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
I found crazy, Kisha, well literally though It's been really
interesting for me since being diagnosed a medicaid for ADHD,
looking back on some of my past relationship and dating experiences,
I had absolutely no awareness how much I chased a
dopamine hit in relationships. It made me so impulsive, it
made me do things just to feel something.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
But I didn't know at the time that that's what
it was. I thought that that's just how I was.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
And I experienced the highs in relationships and what came.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
With that was the very, very down lows.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
So I think it can be a very different conversation
when you're talking about someone who is not neurochemically balanced.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
You know, that's the current theories I've.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
Experienced friends do this as well, and I relate to
that chaos chasing because it makes you feel so much
dopamine at the time, and it sounds a little bit
like maybe your friend is someone who does experience a
similar thing, and maybe, like me, they didn't have as
much awareness of the fact that that's what they were
doing and that's why she's chasing these same guys over
(32:49):
and over and over again. But you're in the position
where you're like, this is exhausting and I don't want
to hear about this anymore. And I don't think you're
a bad person for doing that. I wouldn't have felt
as though someone was a bad person for feeling that
way about my stories, even though at the time I
would have been like, oh, that's pretty offensive and hurtful
to me. Now looking back on it, I'm like, oh,
(33:10):
I completely understand why they would have been put in
that position. Yeah, it's one thing if like, it's one
thing if you are really trying in your dating life,
or even if it's not even dating, like even if
you're just doing.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Hookups or whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
It is if you are really trying and you are
just unlucky and keep meeting dickheads that are treating you
badly and it is chaos, then that's different. But when
your friend is constantly like coming to you, laughing, telling
you the same shit you've given them, the same advice,
this has been going on for years, then I think
you are completely in your right and it does not
make you a bad friend to step away a little bit,
(33:42):
because at the end of the day, you can only
do so much and be so much, and you are
not going to be a good friend if you are
sitting there looking at your friend, listening to her talk
to you, being like I could think of nothing fucking
worse than sitting here right now. Like if your internal
monologue is like I want to be somewhere else, then
you probably we should be somewhere else. But I don't
think that makes you a bad friend at all. I
(34:03):
think it's really important to note too that friendships, and
I've gone through this so with so many friends over
the years and decades, friendships come and go.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Sometimes they are situational, you know. Sometimes they are for
a period. What's that super crazy.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Season or a lifetime?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah, that super crunsyr quote that Laura would have posted
a hundred times in her life in every relationship. Yeah,
friends are like a season for a reason or a
lifetime whatever, you know. And I've had all of them,
and I think everyone has had all of them. And
I think everyone listening to this right.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Now knows exactly or has had a friend in this
situation before. I do think you talked to her before
you just abort mission that. I think you can say
you're the problem, it's not me.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
If you actually can say that, like if she knows
that too, and she's talking about it, you have to say,
like this is this is going to keep happening to
you as long as you're aware, this will keep happening
over and over if you keep doing the same behavior
over and over and then it doesn't have to be
a big friend breakup.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
But you can easily just pull back and not be
as available.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Like that's fine, Like, hey, we're adults now, everyone has
busy lives. He can say, hey, not available this week anymore.
Maybe catch you So maybe you catch ups a bit
more sporadic.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
But at the end of the day, fuck no, it
doesn't make you a bad friend.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
I think the only caveat that I want you to
be a little bit aware of is whether you're projecting
your own desires for relationship standards onto the other person.
And what I mean by that is, does this person
want a long term relationship but they're acting super chaotic,
they're accepting really toxic behavior. They're also doing really toxic behavior,
and they're wanting this fairy tale outcome.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
That's incongruent.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
But if they want to just be having fun and
dating and like, they don't want anything serious and they
don't want anything long term, then you kind of expecting
that that's what they want for their own life and
judging that choice and their behaviors towards it probably isn't
the right thing either.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, but she does say she loves like the girl
says she loves red flags. Yeah, like she's in her
red flag era. Go queen, We've all had our red
flag era, but you.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Might be weren't aware that that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
But it's hard.
Speaker 5 (36:09):
It's hard when you're in your red flag era and
everyone around you's in the green flag era, Like when
you've come through the cyclone of the red flag era
and you're out the other end.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
It's hard to be in different places.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
So let her do a thing, if that's what she's frothing,
then like, that's on her as long as as long
as she's happy in it.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
But seems weird.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
To be happy in the red flag era.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
Some people get highs from it, like sometimes you get
the thrill from it, and I think that you kind
of hit the nail on the head. It depends on
whether she is making herself the victim in these situations
and whether she's making out that all this behavior is
happening to her she's so unlucky. Yes, she's not really
taking any accountability. To me, it screams of the type
of person who's like, I just didn't feel the spark
for anyone who is not super toxic. So it really
(36:53):
does depend on a couple of things. But I don't
think you're a bad friend for feeling this way. It
just sounds as though your values are different at the moment.
So take a little bit of a st back, don't
cut the friendship off completely, you know.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
But yeah, like you said.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Sporadic, Yeah, sporadic, catchup at a movie where you can't
talk jokes, okay. Question number three, My family is going
on a big holiday for an entire week. I'm talking
about my sisters, their husbands and their kids, my parents
and me. Everyone's in like relationships and families. But I'm single.
(37:25):
I love you doing the math, thank you.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
I'm counting them, like, how many people are we talking?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
One of my sisters has been the arranger of the
entire trip. It was her idea, so she has booked
and budgeted everything and explained how much everything is costing
and how it's going to be split. Now it's coming
to the crushing time of paying everything and getting close
to us all going. But I'm starting to feel as
if things haven't been fairly budgeted.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
What's your perspective.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
We are three sisters helping to pay towards our parents' holiday. However,
two of us have partners also contributing this.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Okay, bear with me.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Two of us have partners also contributing to the third
expected on each of our behalfs. Then there is me,
who has to support the whole third on my own.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
There's a lot of mass here.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I'm going to do the math.
Speaker 5 (38:10):
So there's sister one with a partner, so that's two people,
Sister two with a partner. That's four single sister who's
written the question in so that's five plus the parents
so seven people. Yeah, but the costs are split between
the three sisters.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
And in those three sisters, two are in a couple, yeah,
and one is alone.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Okay, I understand.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
So her question is is this just the way the
cookie crumbles or should this actually be split by five
to include my sister's husbands? I I mean, oh, this
is just down to the family dynamic, because technically speaking, yes,
the husbands are part of the family, But is it
their responsibility to be paying when the sisters have said
(38:53):
let's cover our parents. I am leaning on Yes, I'm
actually lee and I think that this happens not just
with holidays. I think it happens with Christmas and birthday presence.
When you're the single one and the other people, like
your siblings are in couples, it's always like, hey, do
you want to get Mum and dadd a present? Or
do you want to get you know, Auntie blah blah
(39:13):
blah a present?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
And it's split evenly between you and your sibling.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
But your siblings in a partnership, and then you've got
to get them both birthday presents and Christmas presents, but
you only get one in return because it's a joint gifference,
like this is feeling very.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Personal from Keisha's behalf.
Speaker 5 (39:29):
And sister in the way are very very generous, But
I think that this happened. This kind of like splitting
of money, happens within more dynamics than what just a
holiday would and I can firstly understand why you are
a bit miffed about this.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
How weever, is.
Speaker 5 (39:46):
It split evenly between the five of you to account
for the more cost towards your parents?
Speaker 2 (39:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
I don't know if it's one of those situations where
it's like an even five because they're your parents and
your sister's parents, but they're not their parents.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Well that's why I mean. It depends on the family dynamic,
and it also depends on how.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Each individual couple does their finances, because whilst I think
the most healthy thing in a relationship is to be
sharing your finances, especially if you're married with kids, like
what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine? Not everyone
does that, but in this case, they're married with kids,
So these couples are locked and loaded. They're not newly dating,
because if they were newly dating, I'd be like fuck no,
like that's not on him, he's just coming to the family,
(40:28):
but they're settled, they got kids. I would probably expect
them to pay slightly more. Yes, that would be my answer,
and like that has happened before. I'm just trying to
think of myself with like Sharry and Jay, my sister
and her husband. When we've been going on just a
trip for the three of us, which we did loads.
We paid evenly thirds, like as individuals, not as their
(40:50):
couple and myself. So but that's just what suited us
and the way we were traveling. But I think if
this is a really big thing for you and upsetting you,
and maybe you're not financially in the position to do
that and to match what they are, you should have
that conversation with them.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
But I just think it's probably one of those conversations
moving forward that you need to have before you lock
it in and pay for it, so that you say, hey,
I think that you know, you guys might need to
put a little bit more in for this reason. Are
you guys happy with that? I don't know if it's
the conversation you.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
Have after the fact, after you've made the plans and
everyone's paid, and it's you know, she's paid and it's
time to pay up.
Speaker 5 (41:27):
I think it's a bit too late to have that conversation.
You could have it.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
You could pay it now and have the conversation to say, hey,
moving forward, I think would you guys be happy if
we were splitting it a bit more evenly between.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
All of us.
Speaker 5 (41:39):
I think it also depends on your relationship with your sisters,
because I've just.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Been doing the math in my head. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Love that not my strongest point, but I think what
would be deemed fair is you work out the cost
of the trip in seven portions, because that's each person,
and then you split the cost of your parents between
the three of you. So you split those two portions
(42:05):
by the three of you, and therefore the partners are
paying for their share in the holiday, but you guys,
as the siblings, are covering the costs of the parents.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah, if that could work ish.
Speaker 5 (42:17):
I like that. It is a lot of math, and
I don't know whether it's like achievable or if it's realistic,
but I do think that in these situations, it's also
kind of up to your sisters to acknowledge the fact
that that's not fair to you to be split like
to be putting in so much more, and you know
you're gonna get the ship room.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
I was about to say, you're on the fucking trundle.
You are on the trundle. You don't have a bathroom,
You've got the portal.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
You just know that that's a situation that's going to
play out.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Well.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
It's sort of like the equivalent of if you went
to dinner with them and you all paid evenly even.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Though they ate double.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
That happens all the time.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Yeah, that's what I mean. But even then, but even then,
most of the time, when you're at dinner, you'd be like, well,
you guys ate, so you pay doubles, do you like?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I just think when it comes to splitting money, it
can be such an.
Speaker 5 (43:06):
Awkward situation, and especially if you're not like super tight
with your sisters and you don't want to look like
you're the stingy one.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Especially if this was like your.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Idea to go on the holiday and you know, shout
your parents and kind of have the mixed Like you said,
I think it's going to be a hard thing to
bring up after the fact.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
It wasn't it was the other sister's idea. It was
a sister who planned and budgeted. It was her idea, which.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
She's quite the genius.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
She's the rich one.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
She's getting the discave holiday.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
She knows what's up. She's gone exactly where she wants
to for cheaper.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:34):
Yeah, I don't think it's fair that you split this
by three when there's seven people going and unless you
can bring a friend, can you bring a friend and
then like you're the friends, Nah, you can't. A friend's
not gone on a family holiday with kids and your
sister's husbands and your parents.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
They're not twelve.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Maybe you want someone there to share the experiences with you.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
I'm sure she does want someone there. Keisha thin Ice.
That's it from us today.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Guy.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
If you have any questions, please send them on in.
We love answering them.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Just send them to Instagram, Life on Cut podcast Just
put usk on Cut at the top.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
We always keep you anonymous. The juicier the better, and
also keep your accidently unfilters and anything else coming in
any ask and cut aftermass We love them all.
Speaker 5 (44:15):
I also love it when people are sendings to our
Instagram that they're like just thought of you guys when
I saw this. I love it, except if it's plant content.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Hey guys, just had.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
Anal with my husband and was thinking of you at
the same time.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
That's what we love.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Bless us, my soul, anything in the pop culture space.
Speaker 5 (44:29):
I love it when people are like, this sounds like
something that you guys would like to talk about.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Sometimes I'm like, thanks, you're.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
Doing my dog for We actually love that. I get that.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
I get it to the personals too, like to just
to my personal Instagram. Hey saw this, thought you should
unpack it on the pod. I'm like, love it, I
love you.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Thank you, babe.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
You want to send those if you want us to
unpack something or speak to someone, interview someone. We genuinely
love that and we store them all away. We've got
a Google doc. We're very professional.
Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, we put on your O regime part time producer
for like podcast. We do have our vibes and unsubscribed
page on our website now. So if you've ever heard
a vibe that has been you know, a couple of
weeks ago and you can't remember what it was, you
can find it their Lifehuncut podcast dot com dot au.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
But it doesn't live forever.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
No, we're thinking about two months.
Speaker 5 (45:13):
Yeah, Max, Okay, Yeah, because otherwise, six hundred episodes that's
going to jam up.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
So guys, don't doodle on the vibe.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
Otherwise I'm gonna have to go back and learn more
about how to program a website, which is not a
strengthen min. We don't pay you enough for that.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
That's it from us, you know, the drill to your mum,
to your dad, tell you, don't tell your friends, and
share the love because we love love
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.