Ask Uncut - Free the Nip, Take the Dip! - Life Uncut

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Us gun cut, where we will answered you're dark and
you're burning questions. However, there is something that I think
will live rent free in my head for the rest
of my life, like my Roman Empire. I cannot and
will not stop thinking about the video of Timothy challow
May and Kylie Jenner at the Indian Wells Open or

(00:37):
whatever it's called, the tennis match. If you haven't seen it,
we are putting it on our social media right now.
In fact, to be up there, I have never seen
something more uncomfortable in my life. So okay, if you
haven't seen this already, it's making the rounds online. But
Kylie Jenner, who great love love their relationship, think they're adorable.
She leans over to kiss him, and she's trying to

(00:59):
kiss him. I think it's for a camera. I think
someone's taking a video because there's a camera in the corner.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
They also they know that they're constantly on camera wherever
they go. Every time they're in public, they are constantly
being watched, especially at a big tennis tour.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Is why Timothy Shalla Maye needs to control his face.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
He can't control his face. He looks he looks so disinterested.
But it's just there's so many different mixed body language
things that are going on, and I just can't I
don't know what's happening.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
I have some thoughts. Basically, if you haven't seen it,
Kylie's trying to kiss Timothy in the middle of this
huge match with Holgaroon and Ugo Unbird or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
His name is, so at lafeon cut podcast because we'll
be on our Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
And he Timothy doesn't look like he wants to kiss
her in that moment. It's very awkward. But what I
will say is I understand both sides. She's trying to
kiss him and put on this united front because there's
very obviously a paparazzi or a cameraman that's right in
front of them that is filming them. She's seen that
and she probably knows, hey, let's just put on like

(01:57):
this united front because if they just sit there looking so,
there'll be a story about them having a fight and
hating each other. So she's tried to kiss him, but
it's in the middle of a point, you can hear
that the game is still going, it's not between sets.
And there's a forensic lip reader that has come out
and said they know I was really invested. They know
exactly what they were saying to each other. So what

(02:20):
they were saying is and Timothy, apparently I love that.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
I thought it liver and free in my head, but
clearly in yours more, I love that. A forensic lip
reader is a job. How do you become forensic?

Speaker 2 (02:29):
It's really common now. Every single time there is a
red carpet for anything in the world, there are forensic
lipreaders that are employed to see what they're saying on
the carpet.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
What distinguishes the difference between a lip reader and a
forensic lip reader, I.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Can't be sure.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
Rhyme.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Usually they lend themselves to important things, like, you know,
fighting crime, but in this case, no, so things we
care about.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
So first of all, Timothy says, wait a minute, love.
That's what he says to her. He says, wait a minute, love.
And because you can tell he's kissing right with his lips,
but his eyes are on the court, like he's not
giving her any attention. He says, wait a minute, love,
and then she says eye contact. This is allegedly sorry
eye contact. Then he responded, go on, yum.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yep, that's not what he said.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Then then when he sits back and she starts to
rub his tummy, he says ol and she says are
you okay? And he says, no problem, I'm good, don't
worry about it. Then he says to her watch the point.
Watch the point. So he's literally just trying to say, babe,
like I fucking love you, let's do this after the tennis.
I'm so invested in the tennis, so it's really awkward

(03:41):
to watch and I hate watching it. I have to
turn it off. But I understand both sides.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
At first, because like he's super locked in right, and
at first I was like, oh, he could have just
turned and gave her a quick kiss and back to tennis.
But then what I don't understand is when she didn't
get that, why did she start rubbing his tummy.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
It's such a weird thing for someone to.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Be sitting next to you and start rubbing their barely.
I cannot have one time that I've rubbed someone's belly,
especially in public, especially after they've just rejected my advance
for like a kiss, because they're doing something that is
clearly important.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
Also, I do like that she seems completely oblivious to it.
She's just smiling and happily, like waltzing through the whole thing.
I wonder how she must feel today we've all been rejected.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
I think she couldn't kive a fuck today. She's a
billionaire who's living her best life. I don't think she cares.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
I wonder how Timmy's tummy's going. It's good luck.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
No, the tummy thing doesn't bother me. I think she's
just a physical affection person. I would probably do the
same to Ben. I don't think she's rubbing his tummy
like get better. She's just putting her hand and being affectionate.
I don't care about that part. I care about the
part where he's trying not to kiss her and she's
like forcing his face back to her, and he's pulling
away and she's pushing it back.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
It's very hard to watch, but well, I hope that
we all enjoyed it as much as I did, because,
like I said, I'll be thinking about it for a
very long time before we get into your question.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
So let's do our vibes and unsubscribes of the week.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
My vibe this week is a new Netflix series. It's
called Running Point. I don't know if you've seen it.
I absolutely loved it. So it's Kate Hudson. I don't
know if you've seen it advertised. It's basically about a
basketball team in America. It's did you guys ever watch
ted Lasso? You remember years ago I recommended ted Lasso,
which is this really feel good series, comedy series about football.

(05:23):
This is the same kind of a thing, but about basketball,
and long story short, Kate Hudson has taken over this
basketball team. It's purely like a male dominated industry. It's
a man's world and it's about the family dynamics between them,
but also running of this team. I saw it advertised
and I thought it was going to be really cringey.

(05:44):
It's so good. It is so funny, it is so
feel good. It's filmed really well. I feel like a
lot of shows that these streamers churn out lately seem
to be done really quickly with low budgets, But this
felt like I was watching a movie at the cinemas,
Like it's really high quality. If you ever watched New Girl,
which I loved was a series of very long running

(06:04):
series in America. One of the main actors from that
is in it too, and I haven't seen him in
a while. But it's just brilliant. I loved it. Kate
Hudson was brilliant. Her comedic timing is amazing.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
I'm interested to hear this because I saw some chatter
about this online and it was getting really bad commentary.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Like, I loved it.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Interesting because Mindy Kayling was one of the creators.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
She is the creator and producer.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
Yeah, which I thought was interesting with the timing of
the whole Meghan show, you know, like get Mindy on
Megan show, because she's also got this other Netflix you know,
everyone's in the Netflix family.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
And well, Mindy even came out and said, like anything
that she does that involves Megan, obviously and understandably absolutely
blows up. So she's like, if she wants to do
cross promotion, it makes sense.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. So it's called
Running Point. It's just a very easy watch. You're not
going to learn anything, but like it's not a docu series.
It's just a lot of fun, right, up my alley
my vibe this week.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Did you guys ever get on the match A train?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yes? Did you?

Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (06:57):
And then I got off it real quick, Okay, because
I've never been able to get into it.

Speaker 4 (07:00):
I'm told it's got all these health benefits and it's
all good for you because it's all like green tea extract,
But for me, it's just always tasted too much like
lawn mower clippings.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Oh it's not for me either, Kisha.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
You ordered it on the weekend when we went to lunch, Yeah, no,
but I didn't.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Like that one.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
And this is actually quite interesting that you say that,
because I've been trying to get myself into it and
I found this product from Tea too. It is salted
much a milkshake powder, So basically it's a much a powder.
I guess that they have added a bit of this
salted caramel toffee flavoring too.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
It's not Matcha, well, it is much, but it's got
kind of like a.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
Little addition to it that takes away a little bit
of that bitterness, and it doesn't make it sweet, Like
the overall flavor is definitely not sweet, but for me,
it makes it palatable instead of it being really really grassy,
because we went to lunch last week and I was like, oh,
I'm new on this march a train, but why do you.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Keep trying to drink something that you don't actually like
because it's got good stuff in it for you? It's
like totally yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
But you could also just get like a green soup
powder that you can put in anything it tastes delicious.
You don't have to force yourself to have the mucho
if you don't want a giche, like if you don't
like it, you don't have to add salted caramel to
it too. Well.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
I like this one.

Speaker 4 (08:10):
So I have actually been having this for the past
two weeks every morning, and it's palatable to me.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
So it's not palatable. It's not even good, it's just palatable.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
You can force yourself to drink healthy things you don't
want as well if you.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Want to just get it down.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
People who are drinking that, what is it? It's like
a sea something like a sea kelp thing in the morning.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
I've been watching.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
There's like a few influencers who like drink their sea
kelp and they literally look like they're about to gag
and vomit every time they do it, and I'm like,
it's okay, it's okay to not drink every health thing
out there.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
If it tastes awful, you don't have to do it
on the weekend.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
They're just doing cocaine and putting all these other stuff
into their body.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
But you have to have my seaweed. Yeah, that's a
take them a plants. Same help anyway.

Speaker 4 (08:59):
Well, anyway, if you want to try and get yourself
on the march to train, but like me, you haven't
quite been able to make the jump because it's too grassy,
I recommend this one. It is from Tea two. It's
not the cheapest. The smallest tin is thirty eight dollars,
so like, it's not a massive outlay, but yeah, salted
much of milkshake flavored green tea powder.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
I'm currently enjoying it.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
And I'm currently sort of enjoying it that Keisha is
fighting palatable. I have a recommendation for anyone who owns
their own business and is looking to scale their business
or is like actually very much working on the trajectory
of getting more people onto their websites, growing their organic
growth and also growing their paid growth. So we use
a website. And I was thinking about this last night

(09:41):
because we use it all the time, and I was like, oh,
this is actually a great vibe for anyone who is
either a small business or an established business. So it's
called similar Web. Now anyone can go on and use
similar Web. You could just use it because you're curious,
but it's particularly great if you're trying to do market
research based on other brands or brands to the brand
that you have. And basically what you do is you

(10:04):
go on them you type in. So for example, I
can type in Tony May, and then I can type
in by Charlotte, I can type in Temple of the Sun,
I can type in Francesca, and I can compare traffic
flow to my website based on all the traffic flow
to all my competitive websites. I know how long people
are spending on their pages, how many pages they've seen,

(10:25):
how many hundreds of thousands of people have been to
the website in a month's time.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
So you can tell how many people are going to
your website versus like a competitive website.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
Absolutely so, because basically anytime you visit a website, your
IP address is tracked, and that's how all that information
is public information, so it's really great if you want
to look at, for example, you might have really high
clickthrough and really high product engagement, but you might not
have very good organic growth for example, so you can
compare where you sit to other brands. So it gives

(10:54):
you a really clear understanding of the pillars that you
need to work on in order to better improve your
traffic flow to your website. It also gives you a
really good understanding of where you sit in the market
against your competitors, because you might think, oh, they're doing
so much better than me, and look online and they
have fifty thousand less people to their website per month

(11:15):
than what you have. So it really is such a
great gauge for figuring out where you sit in the
market and the areas that you need to put some
focus into and work better on. In terms of subscriptions
and stuff for it, so like you can pay but
it's quite expensive, whereas they have a free user, so
I don't pay for it at all, and that still
that gives you loads of accessibilities. So even if you

(11:36):
don't pay for it, it's very very very worthwhile tool.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
For sure, sounds great.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Let's get into the questions.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
Question number one, I want to do a nudy swim,
but my boyfriend's against it. Hear me out. I live
in Hobart and every year there is a really big
nud to swim to celebrate the winter solstice. You have
to register, there's no photography allowed. You all wear robes
and swim caps, drop them then running into the water
really quickly. Of course there's a lot of nudity, that's
the whole point, but it's absolutely freezing, so it's not

(12:07):
like everyone's hanging around stark naked looking at each other.
I told my partner that I want to participate in
the swim this year, and it did not go down well.
He believes that it's a perverse event, just full of perverts.
He doesn't really understand why it has to be nude,
Like why can't you just go and do a swim
to celebrate, which I sort of also get, like you
could just go and do a normal swim. He doesn't

(12:29):
understand why I would quote put myself in a situation
with purves and to parade myself like meet in front
of lions.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
That was just wow, it's bittraumatic.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
I find this language incredibly shaming. I'm sorry, I'm only
laughing because the quote, Like, I just can't imagine a
man saying that, Like why would you put yourself as
meet in front of lions, Like it's just a swim.
I find it incredibly shaming. It furthers the sexualization of
female's bodies in a negative way. Am I the asshole
for going ahead and doing it regardless of his feelings
and his attitude?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Nah, you're not Nashole.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like I mean, if you want to go for a
Nudi swim because you think it's liberating, you don't have
to ask for your partner's permission. You're not doing anything
wrong in that case, like by any means, I mean.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
It will depends on the circumstance.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
You will have to like deal, Yeah, I mean, if
you're going for a Nudi swim with some random DUDEIA
met at a nightclubbe mean at midnight, sure, But if it's
like an organized event, there's like seventy year old women
out there doing it, I don't you know. I think
he's sexualizing an event that's not a sexual event.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
That's like a hymn problem.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
But I also think if you can explain to him
the reasons why you want to do it. Maybe you
think it's liberating, whatever it is, like, it's something that
puts outside your comfort zone that you.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Want to be involved in.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
But his version of it, like what he has presumed
is in his head, seems to be a bit of
a twisted kind of reality based on what actually is.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
I mean, two minds about it, because I agree with
everything that you just said, Laura, absolutely, but I've always
said that it is something where you need to take
partner's feelings into consideration. Now that doesn't mean you have
to do what they say, but it means you need
to have a conversation where you say, hey, I totally
understand what you're saying, why it makes you uncomfortable, but
this is why it's important to me, or this is

(14:09):
why I want to do it, Like I think it's
the conversation. I do think it's important. Like if Ben
came to me and said he wanted to go and
do something nude, I would say, Okay, cool, what is it?
Why do you want to do it? And in all honesty,
of course, this isn't a perverted event. It's an event
that everyone does every year. Having said that, if I
was a pervert. I would be looking up these events,

(14:29):
and that's where I'd go. If I wanted to be
a PERV, I would go to a NEWD event. That's
what I do. So I don't want to say there's
not going to be a PERV there. Maybe there is,
like it checks out, but obviously that's not what the
event is. I don't imagine there's going to be that
many people lingering around nude having a cup of tea after.
I think it's going to be so quick you'd barely
see it. Robes are off, you're freezing, you run into

(14:51):
the water, you're underwater, you run out, you put your
robe on. I think, go for it, but you do
have to take your part in the feelings at least
into consideration a little bit.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
I mean, I question. I think the PERF to normal
people ratio is going to be pretty slim.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
It is, the ratio is going to be. There's more
pervs just out of the beach anyway.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
But if you're a PERV, laws you're going to go
to the new events, right, You're going to look up
new events. Everyone in the room knows that's true.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Look, I mean, I don't I think maybe because I
don't think it's a big deal, and I think it's
weird to have such adverse reactions around it. Like to me,
there's like this kind of like sense of ownership and insecurity,
and I think that that's kind of what you're getting
to when you say that it further sexualizes female bodies
in a negative way.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Am I the aursehole for going aheab?

Speaker 3 (15:32):
You don't need permission to do things that you want
to do that have you know, an r about your body.
If it's going to upset him, you can have a
conversation with him, and then if you're willing to and
you want to, you.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
Have to deal with that upset ask for forgiveness.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
You don't have to ask for permission, you know, Like
not everyone approaches their relationship that way, But I don't
know if that's.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
The best way to approach relationship.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
But sometimes sometimes I guess what I'm saying is like, obviously,
don't do it with things that like deeply imp at
your relationship. But when it's things like this, I think
that he's being a little bit controlling to say that,
and his reaction to this, the way he's using words
like put yourself in a situation with pervs and parade
yourself like meet in front of lions. He is creating

(16:15):
something that this isn't Like the shame comes in him saying, it's.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
You parading yourself.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
You're behaving in a way that's like not conducive to
being faithful within the relationship. Like there's a lot of
accusatory tone in that without him even realizing that he's
being accusatory. And that's because his perception of this is
not the reality. So I just think it's a lot
of conversations around it. But also ultimately, if you want
to go and do it and it's something that you
think is fun and wild and whatever, like, go and

(16:42):
do it, Go and do it, and then deal with
the consequences of his weird ass reactions afterwards.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
I don't agree. I don't think go and do it
and deal with it later. I still think you need
to have the conversation, and I give him the benefit
of the doubt. I don't think he realizes come watch.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
You can be the perv.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Come with me, yeah, fully clothed, and.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Watch me run down and jump in a creek and
get out like eyes.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
I think when it comes to normally, I completely agree,
But I think when it comes to full nudity in
a situation, I don't want to say that that's not
a conversation to have with your partner, because I absolutely
do think it is. People get funny about their partners
be nude in front of other people, Like I think
it'd be remiss of us to say it's normal, go
and do it. It's absolutely not. And if I went
and did a nude swim completely Starkers in broad daylight

(17:28):
with people that could look at me take photos and
I hadn't told Ben, Ben would also be like, wow,
was that not something like you should have told me
you were doing? Not a control thing. But I think
when we're talking about being completely naked, it is something
that you need to talk to your partner and be like, hey,
I really want to do this. This is why I
don't think the right thing is to say sucked in.
I did it, and I asked for forgiveness later. I

(17:48):
don't know.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
I have a question for you. Do you think you
need to ask a permission to someun back topless at
the beach?

Speaker 2 (17:53):
No, but this isn't about permission. I don't think she
needs to ask permission. I just think it's the conversation
that you have first, not asking for fear life.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
I know, but she's already asked him.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
She's already told him that she wants to do it,
and he's made it very clear.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, but you don't.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
So it is essentially asking for permission now. She's at
a point now where she needs him to say it's okay.
So it's like, Okay, if you went to the beach
and you some baked topless, and your boyfriend turned around
and said, why would you put yourself in a situation
where you're flaunting yourself in front of pervs, parading yourself around?
Like I would have a real issue with that language.
I'd be like, I'm not laying at the beach. Oh,
also I don't sunbake, So like that's not what I'm saying,

(18:28):
But like I would be angry at them for trying
to imply a sexualization of it or that I was
doing it to be and to do something that's like untrustworthy.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
Yeah, so I agree with that.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, I don't think she needs to ask for permission,
That's not what I'm saying. I do not believe it
is and ask for forgiveness later. Thing I think out
of respect for your partner, you need to make him
understand the language that he used and why it's not right,
and make him understand why you want to do it,
because it is okay for a partner to have insecurities
about their partner being naked with other people in Like,

(19:00):
I don't want to take that away and say that
that's normal. It's also not normal, but it's okay as
long as the communications there. That's what That's what I'm
trying to get at.

Speaker 4 (19:08):
I think what you're getting at is that there is
a difference in the intention of whether he's been controlling
about your body and the sexualization of your body, or
whether he's trying to be protective of you.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah, do you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (19:19):
Like? Yeah, I think the intention behind why he has
a problem with it is important in this case, but
I don't know what the intention is because of some of.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
The words that he's used. That's what I mean. It's
a little bit controlling.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
I agree with what you're saying, Okasha, and I know
that that's what we're landing on. But the use of
why would you want to parade yourself around implies that
she's doing something that is wrong. And that she's seeking attention.
That's what I have issue with. If he was like, Hey,
you know, I just am so worried about your safety
because there's people out there who are just gross, that's

(19:54):
a super different conversation. But he is the one that
has m shame into this and that's why she's sitting
there go oh way, okay, this is really odd. I
would also question, does your partner have super conservative views?
Is he a very conservative person, in which case maybe
there is things that you're not aligned on in terms
of how conservative you are versus him. Does he have
like specific ideas around like how a woman should behave

(20:17):
in a relationship, Like is that something that has ever
come up before? Maybe not, Maybe it's not a big deal.
Maybe this is an isolated incidence. But I do think
that there's other little bits that you can unpack in this.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
And I also think there's just like I really want
to break this down a little bit. We're all for
the fact that women's bodies shouldn't be sexualized. So when
you said it further is the sexualization of female bodies?
It absolutely does. But that's because he's a male. He
knows how men think. He knows that women's bodies are sexualized.
That doesn't mean it's okay, and that doesn't mean it
should be. We know it shouldn't be, but we still

(20:49):
live in a world where it is. So he's still
hyper aware of knowing that if you are naked as
a young female in public in daylight, he knows that
there'll be people that are going to sexualize you. He
knows that they're could be people with cameras. He knows
that people will look at you. So I just think
these are all things to take into consideration. He hasn't
communicated it in the right way, and I think that's
the issue. I'm not convinced this is about being controlling.

(21:12):
It doesn't sound that way.

Speaker 4 (21:13):
I think what you said was interesting was I think
it actually does depend on how you've u nudity. Like
even between my relationship, I will walk from my bedroom
down to the bathroom and there are multiple windows, and
I couldn't give a shit if.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
Someone seems me naked, like blind as much.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Ben's always like people would pay for that. It's like, Babe,
your neighbors are like literally looking at you right now
on the phone to me naked, and I'm like it's cool,
Like whatever.

Speaker 4 (21:36):
You know, if they don't want to see it, they
can turn away to an extent. I'm in my own house.
So I think some people just view nudity differently.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
You know.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
Some people are like I could never even imagine ever
being comfortable doing that around a big group of people,
Like it's just not anything I would ever want to do.
And so maybe he falls into that category. And like
you said, he is a bit more conservative and didn't
grow up in like a naked household.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, I get that.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
I mean I do come back to this idea, and
it it reinforces what you just said, Britt, that some
men do sexualize women's bodies, and I don't think it's
a protection thing. I think he sexualizes women's bodies. That's
the problem. I think he is of that mentality.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Probably, so his viewpoint of.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
This is the issue, and that's what I have taken
a stance against in terms of, like just do it
anyway and ask for forgiveness because his opinion of this
is not the correct one.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Oh yeah, I thought I'd be doing it. Go for
a swim free, the nip take the dip CLP dip free,
the nip free, the clip take the dip too far. No,
because there's complete nudy to get a clit out she is,
it's nudity, it's out.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
How is her clit out? What she pulling it out? No?

Speaker 2 (22:41):
I mean out is in and no unders on. Don't
take us so literally. She's not going to run down
with a point of vagina apartment.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Okay, next question.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
My partner and I have been together for five years, engaged,
very much in love and happy in our relationship. We
have an open phone policy, meaning having no issues with
being on each other's phones or for whatever reason on
road trips, which have been frequent lately. My service cuts
out regularly and I love a doom scroll through reels
and also Instagram just to pass the time. He's happy

(23:09):
for me to do this on his phone while mine
is out of service. Every single time I open his Instagram,
his for you page is just flooded with women who
hold only fans accounts posting pics of their enormous, wonderful body.
I say good for them in that regard, and I
have no shame on women who choose to do this.
I have tried to joke slash banter with him about

(23:30):
this in the past, and he mentioned that it's simply
because his algorithm is based around him being an average
thirty year old male. When I look at my for
you page, my algorithm is formed by stupid reels, memes,
and animals that I engage with daily. My question is,
does Instagram form an algorithm based on your age and
gender or for what you show interest and consume in

(23:52):
most frequently, I have no issue with him watching porn. However,
just for some reason, the idea that my partner may
be frequently scrolling through or searching for posts related to
OnlyFans or women with body types that are poll the
opposite to my own leaves this unsettling feeling in my
stomach and perhaps shatters my ego slightly.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
I mean, he's full of bullshit, to be honest. The
start the Instagram doesn't say, oh, you are a thirty
seven year old male, I will feed you OnlyFans models.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
That feeds you specifically wonderful, full bodied women who have
only fans.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
That is not how it works. Let's open our Instagram quickly, and.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
I don't know if I want to share a lot
of more.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
Mine is okay. I've got multiple weddings, I've got pregnancies.
And I've got a hen's party.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Mine's weird.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
I have pimple popping, which I don't really watch much
of those. I've got a girl with lobsided boobs and
she's posting about it's literally says lobsided breasts like and save.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
I have a snake being caught in a water bottle.
And I have.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
A person picking hair out of silicone. I don't know
why I have lots of like human picking things. I mean,
I'm not against it, We're just.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
Proving that these are actually specific.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
Mine's all hair stuff because I got my head on
last week, so I was searching that last week hair stuff,
a bit of fashion and ADHD content.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
That's my whole for you page.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, mine's literally one on like supplements I use in
menstrual follicular ovulation and lutell phases for pregnancies. Mine's very like,
I am not being fed typical things. I'm being fed
things that are very specific to me now and what
I search and probably what I'm talking about a lot
because your phone listens.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
I mean, I look at my for you page and
I don't look at that and think that that is
a perfect representation of the stuff that I Google or
where I'm at in life.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Like, sometimes I'm on my for you page that.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Doesn't surprise me.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
We recommend me.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
How many times have you googled Brittany Hockley Though.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
I don't that's what I'm saying, but it's obviously just thought. Hey,
here's someone that's your age that's like putting content out there.
It's also on radio. I'm like, that is me, Okay.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
I would say that most people are pretty aware that
generally a for you page is catered to the things
that you have interest in.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, obviously it doesn't always get it right.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
There's going to be times when it's fed something because
you know, it's picked up on something that you've searched
or you've potentially liked or whatever, and you will find
yourself in an algorithm that wasn't meant for you.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
We've all been there.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
It's all happened to us, and you kind of wonder,
how the fuck did I end up in this corner
of the Internet. However, the consistency of the type of
content that he's receiving would indicate that the reason why
he's receiving it is because he's engaging with it. But
I don't know if that's the question as much as
is it a bad thing, Like if he's very honest
with his phone, if he has no qualms with you

(26:40):
going through his Instagram, and I mean like he's cool
with you sitting there scrolling next to him. He sounds
like he's incredibly trustworthy with what he's doing on his phone.
If he hovers a bit too long on a woman
who he finds interesting, is that that triggering? Like is
that to you something that you would start to feel
insecurities around your own sense of ego like you've said,

(27:01):
or sense of that it leaves this unsettling feeling in
your stomach. I think that sometimes we worry too much
about things that don't necessarily indicate a big problem, and
you could create a problem that shouldn't exist.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yeah, the number one thing here for me is like
your open phone policy. The guy doesn't have anything to hide, Yeah,
and he doesn't think that he's done anything wrong. We also,
in terms of what we can control our partner looking
at you can't like, you can't tell your partner you
can never look at a hot female on Instagram Like
that's impossible, And that comes down to being controlling where

(27:33):
that boundary is crossed is when someone is engaging in
pawn or actually communicating with OnlyFans models like where they've
subscribed and totally. But when we're talking about what pops
up on your Instagram, it's like, you've just got to
accept that they're going to look at things as much
as you're going to look at things. And unless they
are messaging them and engaging with them, I think you
need to sort of I don't want to say you

(27:54):
need to be okay with it, but you probably can't
be not okay with it. In a way you need
to tell yourself, Hey, he loves me, he is with me. Yeah,
we are creating a life together. We trust each other
because we have this open phone policy. Is it the
end of the world if he looks at something online? Like,
we're all human beings, We're all gonna look at stuff,
even the way we've been joking the past couple of

(28:14):
weeks about fake chatting Tatum two point zero. Like we
joke about him, we say he's whole, We say whatever
are we joking?

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Sorry?

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Totally joking better, But like, but in terms of that's
such a normal part of human nature is to look
at other people, be interested, be curious be attracted, Like
you can't help being attracted to someone you see online.
How often we see someone where you're like, Wow, she's beautiful,
Wow he's a smoke show.

Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, it's an interesting one because I think sometimes when
we answer these questions, it's very obvious that we're like, oh,
you know, he's doing the dirty or he's not doing
the dirty. But like, if he's engaging exactly like you said,
that's a whole different story. I think the for you page, yes,
it's an indication of content that someone might be pausing
on to look at. But just because they're pausing on
to look at it doesn't mean that they're going deep

(28:57):
on it, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
And like the algorithm is weird. It is not a one.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
Hundred percent full proof situation where every single thing you're
fed is because it's exactly the person or the type
of content that you engage with in terms of like comment, share, follow,
I don't think it's a perfect recipe. And also, you know,
just because he stops and he looks like Instagram is
now flooded with women who have only fans accounts, and

(29:23):
I stop and look, you know, it's not because I'm
sexually wanting to, you know, do anything or think anything.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
But sometimes I'm like.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
Wow, that's that's a great photo. I can't take a
photo like that, you know, like and I'll stop and look.
Then the for you page might start suggesting it's not
because it's content that I'm necessarily like deeply engaged with.
I'm sure he is more engaged with it than I am. However,
I just don't think that it's worth the argument at
this point. If that's the only red flag that you've
got in your relationship, I'm like, let the guy fucking

(29:51):
look at Instagram every swaften and see a hot chick.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
And also it's really hard because the end of this is,
and I think every woman will relate to this of
this is like it shatters my ego that they look
a certain way and I'm never going to look like that.
And I get that, and that's every woman gets that.
Actually probably most men get that too. Like comparison is
the thief of joy, very deep quote, and it's almost impossible.

(30:15):
It's so easy to sit here and say like, you're beautiful,
know you're worth We understand that. That's one thing to say,
it is another thing to really do It takes a
pretty big person to have done a lot of work
to never feel a sense of insecurity or wish that
they could change something about them. Even the most confident
people will always have that feeling. So I don't want

(30:36):
to come here and say like, that's silly. Don't feel
like that, as much as it is silly, don't feel
like that you're in this loving, secure relationship. I do
want to validate you. Saying hey, I do it makes
me feel pretty shitty and a little bit crushed. But again,
I think that comes down to literally the basic of
saying to him, I feel really shit when I say
I don't feel good when I see this, because that

(30:57):
conversation might be exactly what you need, where he's like, babe,
you are perfect to me. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
But my response to that is, how often do you
check Ben's for you page? I don't think I've ever
checked matts for you page. Stop checking it.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
No, I'm just talking I'm not talking about that. I'm
just talking about like validating feeling the ego totally.

Speaker 4 (31:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
But I think the thing is is take some self
initiative in this. If you're looking at his for you
page and it's making you feel sad, but you also
know he hasn't done anything wrong. I think we need
to have some self control and stop looking at things
that make us feel negative, because it's like you can't
project that on him and make that his problem. When
we don't have a clear cut and to find way

(31:36):
that the algorithm spits out every single piece of content
that's fed to you, I would just say, like, I've
never looked at Matt's for you, Paige, I'm so interested.
I'm going to go home and look at it now.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
I think we should all go and ask for screenshots.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
I'm gonna look at this for you page. I'm gonna
report back on next episode.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
But the thing is is, even if there are hot
chicks in bikinis and girls who look so incredible and
who comparatively are way hotter than me, I'm not gonna
to look at that and then be angry at him
that he found that attractive.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Do you know?

Speaker 3 (32:03):
I mean I'm not gonna be angry at him that
he paused and looked at that. I would be angry
at him if he was paying a subscription on her
only fans and messaging him. Yeah, that's a whole different conversation.
But that's not what this is. So I think if
something's triggering you, you also got to be responsible for
the trigger. Stop going and scrolling his Instagram just because
you don't have service. Like he's being honest and open
with you, don't punish him for that honesty.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
Question number three, This is for you, probably, Laura, because
you are in this position. Sure is a surname that important?
If you're Meghan Michael, yes, it's Meghan Sussex.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Sorry, she's told you that.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
If you're Megan Sussex, yes, I've been with my partner,
Meghan write this.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
In it is actually, oh my god, it is. It's
for Megan.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
It says it's from the Duchess of anonymous guy.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Sorry Megan, Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
I've been with my partner for six years and we
have two beautiful children.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
It's Megan.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
He's the last one in his family to get married,
and he's just decided to leave the royal family. So weird. No,
he's the last person in his family to get married,
and I always said to him that I would like
to at least have the same surname as my children
before my eldest goes to school. Now, our eldest is
enrolled to start school next year, and I don't see

(33:16):
us getting married this year. It makes me sad that
we don't all have the same surname, because that's always
been something that I have wanted coming from a divorced family.
Is it too much to put an ultimatum on him?
Am I overthinking this? Does a surname really matter? I
know how many women want to keep their maiden names. However,
I personally do not have a solid relationship with my dad,

(33:37):
so I've never really wanted his surname. Anyway, A surname,
to me solidifies the family unit. I also don't really want.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
A big wedding.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
I would be very happy to just go and sign
a piece of paper. What are your thoughts?

Speaker 3 (33:50):
This is a really tricky one because I also think
and like look, surnames are not important to me. I've
kept my last name. I grew up in a household
that had heaps of last name, so for me, it
was the true well three there were three separate last
names at one point. To me, a last name doesn't
signify family. But I know that other people feel differently.
And the difference in this question is that you communicated

(34:11):
that early on with your husband, or you're sorry with
your partner that a last name was important, and when
your children were born, you forfeited the opportunity for your.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
Children to have your last name.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
Yeah, because that's a decision you could have made had
you thought that your partner was never going.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
To actually marry you and that you were never going
to have his last name.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
Right, Because when you give birth, you make a decision
whose last name you put on that birth certificate. So
I'm guessing that you've made this clear throughout this entire
part of your relationship, that this is something that means
a lot to you. So I understand why you're now
at a point where you're like, Hey, this sucks, Like
I wanted this. I gave our children your last name.

(34:51):
You have a family unit in terms of like the
recognition of that with them, and you have not given
me the same respect.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
I guess I would.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
Have very honest and I know it comes down to
a conversation, but I would have a very honest conversation
with him around that point.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
Maybe it is, and I don't know if it's.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
Even legally possible. Can you change your last name to
someone's last name without being married?

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Is that weird?

Speaker 2 (35:12):
No, you can change your name. You can literally go
and change any part of your name without getting married.
You just have to file a change of name, so
you can go and do it. But I don't think
you can just go and surprise him and be like,
change my name without the wedding.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
No, But I mean you can have a conversation with
him and be like, hey, I know we've spoken about marriage.
I know it's on the cards at some point in
the future. I don't want to force you into that prematurely.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Ten years and two kids. It's not prematurely.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
No, six years, six years and two kids. But also, like,
you know, if he said I'm going to do it
before school, then didn't do it like I think you
can if you wanted to take that into your own
hands and be like, hey, it's really important to me
that we all have the same last name. I've communicated
this many times, You've always been on board with it,
and now we're at this point where it just feels
like laziness more than it feels like it's actually a.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Stance against you not knowing what you want.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
You know, it's not like I don't know I read that,
and I don't think that he's turned around and being like, oh,
I'm not sure whether I want to marry who or not.
I think that some people are just complacent and lazy.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
I think he can't be bothered. But that's all it is.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
You know, he's got his beautiful family, he's got two kids,
everyone's happy. Organizing a wedding is a pain in the ass,
and he's like, ah, just I'll do it when I
do it, even though that's not like a good enough reason.
I do think that that can sometimes be the outcome.
But I understand. I want to validate you, like I
understand why this is important to you.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Yeah, totally. And that's the thing here. If it's not
important to you, it's not important. If it is, it is,
That's what it comes down to. Every single person is different,
and for you, it's something that really matters. It's literally
what you're thinking about. You've written in to us about it.
To me, this just screams it's not a priority. You together,
You've been together a long time, the kids are going
to school. It's not a priority for him. Evidently, I
think you need to double down on how important it

(36:45):
is to you and also just let him know that, hey,
can we literally just go and sign the registry, get
married together. It doesn't have to be a big thing,
it doesn't have to be expensive. We can go in close.
We've already got However, basic need to make that for
him if you're happy with it. But if, of course,
if you actually want a wedding, then I don't want

(37:06):
you to sacrifice that moment either to get the surname. Yeah,
but I think you do need to tell him how
important it is to you. Alternatively, as we did say,
I do know people that have just changed their names
without marriage. You do have to just go and file it.
But then if the marriage part is equally as important
as the changing of the surname, you're also sacrificing that.

(37:26):
I think if you present this into him in a
way where you're like, hey, we can literally Elope, let's
do it, I would find it hard for him to
not be on board with that. From the information you've given.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Us, I don't know, it's really tricky.

Speaker 3 (37:37):
My only thing though, is you've said, is it too
much to put an ultimatum on him?

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (37:42):
Yeah, what's the ultimatum? Like, what are you going to say,
marry me or I'm leaving? Like do you want that, like,
is it that important to you? I mean, an ultimatum
always has to come with a consequence. That's the point
of an ultimatum, And I just don't know what the
consequence would be in a situation apart from you leaving
your relationship, which sounds proper to me a little bit crazy.
When you've said that you've been with your partner, you

(38:02):
have a beautiful relationship, and you've got two kids together
and you're very happy. That seems extremely like reactional. If
it's not a wedding, or if it's not married yet,
maybe he's not ready. Maybe he's not, and that's a
very real possibility. We can't force the guy into marrying
you if he's not. But maybe there is a situation
where you could change your name or use the same
last name, even if it's not legally binding, use the

(38:25):
same last name when it comes to you know, discussions
at school and everything else, so that the kids feel
as though it's a unity in terms of a last name. However,
the only thing I want to end this on is
that a last name is only important because it's important
to you, and it's really like kids understand family units
beyond what a last name looks like.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Yeah, but you made a really good point too. We're
talking about this the other day, like believe it or
not as friends off Mike, but Laurie, you were saying,
you know it is as much as you didn't care
about it, You're like, wow, it does make things harder
all of a sudden. There are different names for passports.
You've got to be able to prove that you're not
kidnapping a child, and like, oh, y's a lot that
comes with it logistically as well. That will make your

(39:05):
life easier.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
So like to give you guys a bit of insight,
Like obviously, flying to Africa recently with my two children,
so I was flying with them solo. Matt was already overseas.
But I don't have the same legal last name as
my kids. My last name's burned. Their last name is
you know, Johnson on their passports and also on their
birth certificates, which means that anytime I travel internationally to
somewhere that is part of the Geneva Convention, I have

(39:28):
to have all of the documents that are signed by Matt.
I have to have copies of his passport to prove
that I'm able to travel with my children without their father,
So it's a lot of preparation that I need to
go through in order to travel with them solo. It's
to protect children from child trafficking. Evidently it's a very
important thing that exists. But for me it adds an

(39:50):
extra layer of complications because we have separate last names.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
So would you think about changing your name? Not that publicly,
but just for that purpose, just like for the documentation.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
Well, because once every five years I might travel somewhere
without Matt.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
No, no, I can't bother that.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
I think it's more than that too. I think it's
like tying a sense of family, like growing up. I
don't know. For me, I totally understand wanting to have
the same name, but I also understand how hard it is.
I'm in this discussion at the moment with Ben what
name do we take? And obviously we don't have kids yet,
but we plan on it. But like do I take secrets?
Do we do hockey secrets? Does Ben take Hockley?

Speaker 3 (40:23):
My interpretation of this is that when you say a
tying of a sense of family, that sense of family
and that sense of tying is totally your own personal
interpretation of it.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
It's not for your kids.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
I don't think kids grow up questioning what family looks
like to them based on a last name.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
And I'm sorry I might have said that wrong. I
mean more is in like and this isn't the right word,
but like ownership, that's not.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
The right word.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
I mean like when teachers are in a class reading
a roll call, it's like putting which families are with which,
And I don't know how to explain that. But I
don't mean like you belong to a family because you
have the name in terms of your sense of belonging.
I mean more outwardly facing too, like when you're checking
into a plane, when you're doing a role calling class.
I mean that kind of thing. There's a lot there's
a lot of ease that would come from everyone in

(41:08):
the family having the last name, but it does not
signify what a family unit is.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
And what I find the most interesting though, and I
would say that there are a lot of women who
have been in the same boat as what I was.
It was interesting to me that, even though I knew
I wasn't going to take Matt's last name, that I
didn't consider what last name our children would have. I
just assumed that my children would have the last name Johnson,
and that that assumption comes from so many years of

(41:36):
like gender stereotyping in relationships. And when I think about
it now, I mean, there's no part of me that
regrets it, obviously, like it makes no difference to me.
But I do think, like, why didn't I consider Burn?
Like why was Johnson so obviously and immediately more important
than my last name when I had every intention to
keep my last name And Matt would never change his
last name to Burn in a million years. So it's like,

(41:58):
why is it that his last name was the more
important one in terms of our family unit than mine.

Speaker 4 (42:02):
I have a friend, Sam Blacker, he was a radio friend,
and he has a baby who's won.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Now we're talking about this.

Speaker 4 (42:08):
Just last week, they gave the baby his wife's name
because he was like, she birthed the baby, you know.
He kind of made a joke that he was like,
there's so much misogyny in this world. If this is
the one thing I can do to try and combat
it in my own family, I'm going to give my
kid my wife's last names. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
It's a fascinating thing, and unfortunately for a lot of
women because they do give their children a different last
name to their own, they give that up, you know
what I mean, Like, they give that up forever, and
if the relationship doesn't work out, if they do never
get married, Like potentially, I'm not saying that that's what's
going to happen in this instance, but potentially you then
forever never have the same last name as your children

(42:45):
because you didn't even consider that as an option when
they were born.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
That's what I was thinking of hyphenating them, so if
anything happens, I can just drop one.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
At the airport though, being the one who grew the
baby and still having to have documentation like that would
actually annoy.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Me, It's for me. It didn't annoy me at all.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
I was like, thank god, we have systems in place
that protect our kids.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
Yeah, that make it a place to be.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
Yeah, that make it so hard to take.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
All.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Right, Well, look, guys, that is it from us.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
If you have any questions, but ask Uncut, slide into
the DMS at Life Uncut Podcasts sent us your dilemmas
and we would do our best to answer them. And like,
also with that last question, I'd love to hear from
anyone who have different dynamics in terms of like how
they chose to name their children, and whether you kept
your last name, whether your husband changed their last name
to yours, like how do you navigate those situations?

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Well, the only other thing that I did want to
say but that we didn't say, but I'm going to
say now, is that it's so dependent on your individual situation,
so many aspects in terms of do you have a
particular connection with your last name, do you have zero
connection with your last name? Does your partner have zero
connection to the last name. Like if my partner hated
their family, hated their dad, hated the name, hated the connection,

(43:58):
and I was close to mine and they still want
to keep their name, I wouldn't understand that. So I
think that it's really individual to every situation. Some people
are more attached to it than others. Maybe the family
name is not going to be passed on, Like if
I have two brothers that have like twenty eight thousand
kids between them, Hockley is being passed on.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
So I don't know.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
Yeah, I mean Burn is rife, so no one cares
about that name. Every second street and island is Burn.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
But if I was if it was just Sherry and
I we're only females, then I probably would feel more
of a connection to want to keep my name and
pass on the heritage. So I think it's dependent on
every situation. Anyway, I'll shut up now, I see you later. Guys,
don't forget too, mum's don't dad, tet dog tea, friends
and share the love because we love love

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