Ask Uncut - He’s Offering To F*** You “As A Friend” - Life Uncut

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life.
I'm cut, I'm Laura Brittany.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hi Brittany.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
How we feel in Laura, No, I'm feeling terrible today.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Tell us, please tell us how would your morning?

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Do I sound? Do I sound normal?

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Or do I sound like I have a husky voice?
Hard to be a husky A little bit you turned on?
It's the real question, like maybe more so than I
was from.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
This swollen swallowen.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
I don't know, rolling tongues, yeah, ulcers, yeah, alcas, I
don't mind, you'll be husky. To be honest, I feel
as though now and I'm really really sorry to everyone
because I promise, likeli, like we've said, I kind of
caveat every episode at the moment of like I'm given
birth in a week and a half. But the thing is,
it is so soon, right, Like it's a week and
a half away now by the time you're listening to this,

(00:55):
so ridiculously soon. So like, I know what's annoying to
hear me complain about pregnancy, but just give me a
bit of fucking grace because it's all I've got left is.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
One and a half weeks.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
But then it's gonna be guys to gave birth a
week ago.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
No, because because then I'm gonna be on maternally for
a while, so you won't have to hear about it,
and by the time I come back, I'll be great.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
We also love it because I mean as a story
that it's about to come. But we love hearing your
pregnancy updates because they're not normal pregnancy updates.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Well, this morning, I got up, I was running late.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
I kind of like snooze my alarm, which I never do,
Like I'm usually up like ten to six, I am up,
I'm in the shower, and I'm out the door.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
I did a five minute snoos stay two and I
never do it either.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
We all did look at this.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
We were all I feel like I were great. Oh sorry,
I've got my bangs in again. I feel I'm thriving.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
So again I heap of shit. We all look like.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
We're been dragged through the sewer.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
No, okay, So I hit my alarm anyway. I always
like order. It was my vibe ages ago, you know
the app pay you, which is not sponsored, I swear,
but I always order my like criisont and coffee and
I run and pick it up on my way into work.
So I did my normal, ran in, picked it up,
got in the car. Maybe it's all connected. Do you
also remember how I was complaining that. I was like,
I feel like my throat has like it's harder to

(02:08):
swallow now. I feel like everything's gotten lax because of
like the pregnancy hormones.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
I think that was just an excuse you gave Matt.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
I can't give you any pleasure because my throat is laxed.
Like no, but I feel like everything is laxed, Like
I feel like I choke on food more often. I
feel like I choke on drink more often. Like stuff
that's just like stuff that was really easy before all
feels particularly hard now. So I had my craison and
I had my coffee, and I was brushing, and I
was in the car and I'm driving to work. I'm
going over the Harbor Bridge, like beautiful ideal, like big

(02:38):
fucking cruise ship to the right. Sun has just all
come out and yeah, literally, and as I going to
put the craison in my mouth, I breathed in at
the same time, and one wispy flake flew off the
craison and literally lodged itself into my lung Like I'm like,
that's called aspir And I just had this moment where

(03:00):
I was like, could not stop coughing. But as we know,
I don't have a public floor anymore, and so I
didn't just accidentally have a tiny bit of liquid it.
I fully pissed my pants in my car and then
had to drive the rest of the way to work
with my pants down around my ankles whilst trying to
still accelerate and break And all I'm imagining now was
going under.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
All of the mobile phone lights, like.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
Because they take a photo of every single person.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I was like, you, you.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
Just put your pants at your ankles and then just
played on and it's the same pants.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, I'm wearing them.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
On our beautiful couch.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
And Casha, you have to inter you after this, which
I'm not in it, and you're sitting.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
In this seat you seen lost pins and you get
one of those puppy like blanket things that's plastic on
one side.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Em Carey's coming in, she can sit here instead. Oh,
don't tell us. She'd be like you guys, I.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Would never do that.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
And I just feel miserable it was a proper nol
little dribble.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
It was a proper week.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
And then I came in lucky.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
It was raining, so as I walked into work, I
just kind of like, I didn't even put my umbrella up.
I was like, if I'm where everywhere, no one's gonna know.
So I walked into.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
War, just rolled around the gutter from.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
So they walked into work. Blood at the beautiful security
guard who works here. I was like, hi, I've blad,
it's been a morning.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
And he kiss yourself again.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
He was standing at the door to let me in
the automated doors, and I was like, no, I have
to go to the bathroom first, and he's like, oh,
only a week and a half now.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I was like, yeah, sure is blood.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Anyway, he went into the bathroom to stand there with
the hair dryer trying to dry my pants. It's really
humbling being your underwear fully, just like drying your pants
under a hand dryer.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
It is funny because I have a problem with my
smell since COVID and I walked in here and I
was like, who kissed themselves or.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
It's me.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
It is humbling, but I think that there are at
least thirty five women that are listening right now that
have wet themselves today, also in their pregnancy. Maybe I'm
not in their pregnancy, So I think.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
I think not all heroes were capes.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
You're helping people feel less alone. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
That's why I said, we're here to do God's work.
I should stop saying. Someone saying do you know what?
Contacted me several times this pregnancy, being like, would you
like to be an Ambassadors? And I keep saying no
because I was like, I just don't know if I
can get on my social media being hey guys Laura twenty.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Well they may as well sponsor the podcast. We talk
about it every week anyway.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Well, yeah, I should really charge them for that. They
just got that promo for free.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah, let's cut out, let's not na in the brand
and if anyone.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Like the ABC has to be non brind specific. Yeah. Literally.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
So this incontinence pad contacted me. They wanted to give
me a discount.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Going for you all, I think we'll laugh, But I
think people would use it. Everyone that's in pregnancy. It
happens to everyone, it doesn't I'm just trying to make
it feel better.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
I think it does.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
I think it does.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
It really does, And like I know, I know there's
gonna be a lot of people who messed with me
who were like, like, it doesn't have to be like that,
blah blah blah. Honestly, it'll be fine once the baby's out.
There's so much pressure in my pelpose right now, like
I don't know what's ahead.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
So what's going on?

Speaker 3 (06:01):
So you'll ride up over there now? No, not quite yeah,
because usually you see with your legs open, but you're
very cross, rightly cross.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
Today.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
I do pack up spare pair of underwear in my bag,
So the wee underwear is in my bag and I
have new unders on.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Maybe needs to have packing some epants.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
True, let's get into vibes and unsubscribes.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
Okay, my vibe this week is a documentary on Disney Plus.
It's called Stalking Samantha Thirteen Years of Terror. You guys
might have seen this going around recently, not just online,
but a lot of people have been writing about it
and speaking about it off the back of it just
coming out. It's three episodes and it's about a young
girl back in twenty eleven who met a guy. Her

(06:43):
name was Samantha. Obviously, it's called stalking. Samantha. She met
a guy called Christopher. She felt sorry for him. It
was a little bit weird. She was just nice to him.
That's it, you know, essentially at the end of the day,
which I think most people are right. You see someone
you meet in a group, they a little bit awkward,
you smile or whatever. But what happened off the back
of that was literally thirteen years of stalking. Like, oh,

(07:03):
it's so intense, and you guys might have heard about
a story anyway on the news over the years, but
the stalking changed a lot over the time period, so
it was like very forward and everyone, all her friends knew.
He was turning up everywhere. He'd put trackers in a car.
And then she actually ended up getting like a restraining
order against him, and he disappeared for the restraining order.

(07:25):
Nothing turns out he was still following her in the background,
but like she just felt like time had moved on,
and then the day that it was up, he was back.
Oh wow, And I don't want to give too much away,
but I will tell you a little bit. He does
end up kidnapping. He goes into a house and kidnaps her,
and she had tried to get another restraining order and
they had said no, and that it was like two
weeks later, off the back of that that this had happened,

(07:47):
and she just sits down and talks through her story
about what happened and what the experience was like because
he again I don't want to give too much away,
but he went to so much. It wasn't a normal kidnapping,
like he had pre met, prepared a place to put her.
And it's truly horrific at what happened to her life
over thirteen years off the back of a smile to

(08:08):
somebody and being nice to somebody. I want you guys
to watch it so we can unpack it a bit
more and talk about it, but I don't want to
give too much away at the same time. Is it
one episode? Is it multi episodes? Okay, I watched it
in one night. I just sat down and watched it
over maybe like two hours.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah. I think it's so interesting.

Speaker 4 (08:21):
You said this was twenty eleven, was it, yes, Yeah, yeah,
twenty eleven.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
I think we would like to think that a lot
of things have changed.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
But you guys did two episodes.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
I think it was last year with Nicole Madigan and
then with someone that we kept anonymous about stalking a
lot more recently, and that was off the back of
Baby Reindeer, which obviously everybody watched. It's just crazy to
me how much evidence there can be of these things
and how little police and that kind of thing are
able to intervene based off of laws, and like, I
don't know, I would like to think that it had

(08:50):
changed a lot more since that time, but it doesn't
appear as though it's changed much.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
But it's not even from that time, as in twenty
eleven that takes her this only happened like a year ago,
because it was thirteen years of it and this is
how it ended, you know, like it ended in the
kidnapping after all of that time, after thirteen years worth
of being harassed and yeah wow, yeah, So it was
only in the last two to three years. And obviously
it's gone to court and they talk about that in

(09:15):
the documentary as well, and also her having to make
a decision on the punishment in a way, because there's
you know, the court system is different over there, but
you can either make the choice of putting him behind
bars for a lesser sentence because he was obviously denying
everything or making the choice to go and fight it
in a bigger criminal case, but not being sure of

(09:35):
what the outcome would be. So trying a weigh up
what you know, as somebody that's gone through something horrific,
you know, do I risk trying to actually get the
justice I deserve? But I don't know what's going to
happen off the back of that.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah, it was really interesting and Kesh, what's your vibe?

Speaker 4 (09:49):
My vibe this week is probably going to be not
much of a surprise to anyone. It's the most recent
season of Australian Survival.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Which is OS versus World.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
So they have got some of the best and biggest
players over Survivor from the last two decades from across
the world. So it started with a team of I
think there was six and six don't quote me, but
basically half of the players were Australian Survivor players and
they were the ones that were quite notorious from their seasons.
You know, we had David who is going to be

(10:19):
the new host. This was the last season that j
LP was hosting. There were people like Shannie, like Kirby,
like Luke Toki, like Jeanine, Alice for who owns boost Juice.
So these people that really made big marks on their
own seasons, or some of them have played a couple
of times, and then they've played against these people who
have just dominated mostly the American but there was ones
from like Finland and all of these other different survivors

(10:41):
around the world. But they were all these amazing Survivor players.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
And it was a really short season.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
There's only ten episodes, so it was just so fast paced.
You've also got people who are some of them were
playing for the fifth time, and so they know how
to make moves on each other and they know not
to trust a single person.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
I found it so wildly entertaining nessa video.

Speaker 4 (11:06):
We have been talking about this and texting each other
about every single episode, and then the very last episode
was one of the best episodes I've ever.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Watched of any reality TV program.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
It was just so fast.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
It wrapped up so quickly that I was like, wait,
what the hell this is over?

Speaker 2 (11:20):
But that's why I kind of I haven't gotten into
it as much as I do normal Survivor, Like I
really love Survivor as well, and I kind of firstly,
I thought the last season of Australian Survivor had the
best plays from Miles, Like Miles was fucking amazing the
way he came back so many times from the literal
bottom of the barrel the jungle rat and then ended
up winning it.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
I kind of I don't know.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
I've maybe I expected more from it because it was
supposed to be the best, so my expectations were high.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
I think it's this is your second vibe of survival.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
You know that like Keisha also gets a kick back
from Survivor. They she gets a twenty per cent discount said,
just from the free streaming service, does make it?

Speaker 3 (11:56):
How do you feel I got asked to douce Vivor
just are you doing? I said no, yes, When did
you get ask it? I think it was last year
or this year? This season?

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Last season? Yeah, it's too it was too hard for
our work, like it's too much time away. It was
it's too much.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
I'm gobsmad.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
But you know you were sitting next to and I
hope you utilized this. We all went to dinner last
week and the girl you was sitting next to, Shannon
was on double down and God was fantastic.

Speaker 4 (12:23):
Anyway, Sorry, I won't keep banging on about Survival, But
essentially this season I thought it was so punchy. You know.
There wasn't like extended episodes of stuff that you didn't
really need. There was absolutely no fluff. It's just ten episodes.
It's all available for free on ten Play, so you
can watch it if you want to get a little
little taste test of some of the people from around
the world that have played on Survivor, and some of

(12:44):
these people have also played on all these other shows
like Traders Like Deal or No Deal Island.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
You would never want to date one of these people,
that's for sure. You'd be like, I don't believe anything
you say.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
I also think that, and I saw it this season,
particularly with poverty, they must have an element of just
being suspicious in their everyday life, Like you can just
tell that they're not quite trusting of anything or anyone.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Well, you know, paam Miranda, So she won quite a
few seasons ago. I did Dancing with the Stars with her,
and she said she would never have done it again.
She said she left that show traumatized and that it
took her quite a long time to get back into
normal life and not be suspicious of her husband, or
of her children, or of people in her immediate network.
She said she was properly she was on high alert,

(13:28):
and she was properly traumatized by doing the show.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yeah, I don't know. It's I just maybe Brittany ten
years ago or five years ago, but now I'm too
old and I just want to trust people.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
I'm like, I want to eat nice food, and I
have an app. I don't have a TV show, so
I have a product. It is a basic bitch produt
it's I am someone who gets the fucking driest feet.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
It was my New Year's resolution this year that I.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Was like, I'm not gonna have dry and then I
let that go the second I got pregnant because I
can barely see my feet anymore.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
This do you know?

Speaker 3 (14:05):
This is an annual turnaround. Every year you're like I
hate my feet, You get a foot mask, and then
it comes back in the next year.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
You have that thing that you bathe your feet in
and it like I did it when you guys were there,
but they were out of date and they didn't work.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
I tried that, it got sucked. Another one.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
I tried that chemical foot peel thing and it just
did not work. No, I bought this so like i've
you know, you get bloody foot files and foot shavers
and all that sort of shit. And anyway, firstly, I
find that they don't last very long because usually, like
normal normal filers, they file down and then they're smooth
and you've got to go by another one. It's from
cheeky glow glass and it is a tempered glass foot filer,

(14:43):
so it can't wear out. It doesn't wear down. And
afraidil for you skin.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
I have the strongest stomach and nothing makes me feel
queasier than grating a foot.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah. Well, I don't know how you're reaching your feet
right now.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I do it in the shower, and I like, on
all four I can still lift a leg. No, I
can lift a leg. I can't see my vagina, but
I can lift your legs. No, I'm not on all fours.
How on earth would I do it if I was
on all four?

Speaker 3 (15:10):
We know how Kesha gets in, but Lazer she loves it.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Keisha's just laying on her back with all falls up
Like I'm not doing that either.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
I don't want to. I don't know if this is
a brag. Maybe it is. I've never had to file
my feet. They're quite soft. Your right foot privilege, I guess,
I guess, like, what are you? What are you doing
with yours?

Speaker 2 (15:30):
So apparently if you don't wear enclosed shoes, you're way
more inclined to get cracked heels and stuff. So if
you wear socks and shoes, I mean, this is on
the rag.

Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yeah, it's first time everyone can close shoes. You guys know,
I'm always in flats, but like, I don't know, maybe
I don't work outside enough without shoes on.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Potentially, Yeah, I don't wear enclosed shoes ever, so I'm
always in slides and I always have dry feet, and
Matt thinks they look like a nine year old lady.
And I'm going to recommend a foot filer for everybody
else who won't be shamed for having dry feet.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
Thanks pretty Hapy.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
I'm just trying to understand.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
I don't know, I just have never I had to
file my feet ever, I'm so luscious and beautiful.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
No, I don't have beautiful feet at all. I just
don't have crack drice to heal and.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
More beautiful than mine. Baby. All right, let's get into
the questions.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
Question Number one, do I risk the friendship for some
friends with benefits.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Make sure you get that over that was just for you.
Cut that out, just deep throated herself.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
Not myself. Marilyn manson it. Five years ago, I met
a man at work and the chemistry was insane, like
sparks flying butterflies. This is my future husband vibes. Wow,
that's a big call.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
What's just chemistry, guys, it's not real. That's not your
futu husband.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
That's a red flag. We ended up dating exclusively, but
I freaked out, got cold feet and ran straight back
into the arms of my toxic ex rookie mistake, I know.
We cut contact for about a year. I moved into
state and life just went on. Then at the end
of twenty twenty three, he unblocked me on socials and
slid back into my life, and honestly, it's been like

(16:59):
no time has passed. We're best friends. Here's my ride
or die, my confidant. But the elephant in the room
is that the attraction never actually went away. It's not
just platonic, and we both know there's more. Here's where
it gets extra spicy.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
I love her narration.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
I recently told him I'm demisexual. And haven't had sexy
in over a year. His response, he basically volunteered his
tribute to help me get back in the game. On
one hand, I trust him more than anyone, and the
idea is, let's just say, not unappealing. On the other hand,
I'm scared of wrecking what we have. But then again,
people drift as life moves on anyway, so part of

(17:40):
me think, hey, why not have a little fun while
we're here. So here is the dilemma. Girls, Do I
risk the friendship for some potentially mind blowing benefits or
do I keep things safe and platonic. Is it a
terrible idea or is it exactly the kind of terrible
idea worth trying.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
Oh, I mean it's not. I feel different about this now,
but right yeah, okay, I life just moves on.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
It truly does.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Life drifts anyway, So fucking run.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
I think from this situation, the fact that you weren't
a friendship in the start, like, obviously there's more there.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
You guys weren't friends.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
You met, you were boning, and then you ran away
to be with your ex like you you dated this
guy exclusively and then he's come back into your life
as a friend, and now he's offering to fuck you.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
I think you guys, as.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
A friend, I think make me help you as a friend.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
I think you guys know what this is. It's fine,
have sex with him. It doesn't work out, he won't
be in your life again.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
Like he is.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
He so deeply important as a friend that you cannot
live your life without him as a platonic friend. And
if that's the case, and you're very honest with yourself
and you're like, look, there's actually nothing there except for
this like platonic need to have him in my life,
then I'd be like, yeah, it'd be weird probably to
have sex with him. But if you're like, actually, if
I'm honest with myself, if I got into a long

(18:56):
term relationship, this probably would be a dangerous friendship to
have on this side anyway, then FuG him and figure
it out because it's not worth waiting.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
Yes, And so normally what I would say here is right.
Normally I would say, there's plenty of fish in the sea,
go fuck them, keep your friendship because friendships are rare.
But you're a demisexual, And if you don't know what
demisexually is, Demisexual are people that can only have an
attraction to somebody after like an intense emotional bond or connection.
So like, I guess it's not easy for you to

(19:27):
just go out and have a one night stand or something.
You're not going to enjoy it totally, so you can't
do that. So in this situation, hands down, have the sex.
I would be one hundred going to poundown, not poundown
because you might get a block come dock, but go
and just like have whatever kind of sex you want
if it doesn't work out, Like, I don't know, maybe
you guys are going to fall in love. A couple
of years ago when you met you said he was

(19:49):
like future husband vibes, So maybe it's going to progress
into something more. Maybe it's not helping you get back
in the game. Maybe it's actually helping lock down the totally.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
And I also I also think he's testing the waters
BA saying that like if you say, oh, I'm demisexual,
I'm only attracted to people who have a really strong
emotional bond with and he's like, cool, he could have sex.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
What do you think he's saying? He's saying, what do
you do? What you think he's checking?

Speaker 2 (20:16):
He's checking, checking to see if you have an emotional
bond with him, it might not.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
Be that deep. He might just want to have sex
as well because he might have an emotional bond with you.
He might, but men are also simple creatures. I think
I wouldn't be overthinking this one. You guys have a connection,
you know each other, you've been together, you've also just
been friends, so you've done it all. I would just
be doing it and whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen.
You're gonna be like, well, not for me, and you're
gonna go back to the friendship. You're gonna say, well
not for me and there's no friendship, or you're gonna

(20:41):
lock it down and get married.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
And I think, just don't go back to your toxic
X after this one. That's one lesson that should be
learned from all of this.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
Yeah, I'm assuming he's gone the ex. She didn't actually
say it. I hope you're not in the relationship with
the X deal because.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
Sex for years. I guess not, all right.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Question number two, My husband hired his mate for wedding
pictures and they are actually awful, and I'm.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Devas David, that's really shit. My husband and I got
married in Italy last year.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
He booked his friend to be our photographer before discussing
it with me once he told me. I told him
that the photography style just wasn't my style, and I
actually didn't really think he was a good photographer. I
asked my husband to cancel his friend, but he didn't.
My husband assured me that we would have beautiful photos anyway.
After the wedding, we got our photos back and I

(21:25):
genuinely hate them.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
A half of our shot list is missing.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
There are terrible angles, shadows, lighting, the editing is awful.
I cried for an entire week straight. It's been one
year and I still can't look at our photos. I
don't have any printed around the house, None are saved
on my phone, none were posted on social media. How
do I move on from this? And how do I
forgive my husband? Those thirty people will never be in
Italy together again. We can't redo this. I'm just truly

(21:51):
devastated about it. It's been one year and I still
hate them.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
Please help.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
I get so upset when I see someone else's wedding
photos because our fuck suck.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Okay unpopular opinion. Firstly, I'm sorry that that really sucks.
And I think people underestimate how much a photography style
is important. Like every photographer has a style, and specifically
for wedding photos, like you need to look at and
the style isn't just how they shoot. The style is
also how they edit.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
And sometimes it's just amateur because they don't have the
experience yet totally.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
And this is your I mean, your husband's friend could
be a great photographer, but also it could just be
someone that likes to dabble in photos you don't know
unpopular opinion. Maybe if you cannot even look at your
wedding photos, I would just go and photoshop them. I
would get all the raw photos, so get them from
him unedited, just be like, hey, don't do anything, just
send me what you took. Hopefully they're high raise. Hopefully

(22:45):
he knows how to shoot, just like stand it anyway
with the right camera. And then I would go and
find a photographer that you love. You're gonna have to
pay them, but I would explain the situation and say
can you edit these? Like what can you do to
save these? And just tell her or him I cannot
look at these photos, like is there something that you
can do? Because I can guarantee you somebody out there

(23:06):
will be able to work some magic on them to
some extent. Yeah, because it's not worth not being able
to like having that feeling about your wedding, like when
you can't. I don't know if you guys follow me.
I've barely posted anything about my wedding, but it was
a joke. I've posted every single day. I'm still posting.
I'm not done yet. But you want to be able

(23:26):
to be filled with joy and love. And I look
at my photos and not to rub it in, but
like I'm like, oh, I just love that moment and
it takes me back somewhere, and I hate that you
can't go back there, but I do think that you can.
So that's what I would say. I would say, send
me the raw photos. Please don't tell him why. I say,
you want to make your own photo book whatever, and
then go to a professional. It's not a slap in

(23:47):
the face to him. It's not rude. You don't even
have to tell him who cares, but you deserve that.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
It is a slap in the face to him, which
is okay. The thing is he's your husband's friend. If
you say I want all of the raw photos unedited,
even if he does take that as like an artistic
criticism on his abilities. At the end of the day,
you've sat on these photos for a year, you're not
happy with them, and you want to try and look
for an alternate option.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
I think that that's acceptable.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
It's okay to say, like, I have an idea of
something I want to do with photos, can you send
them to me.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
The only thing, though you might find tricky is there
aren't many photographers who want to work and do editing
on someone else's photography, So you might find it really
hard because you could spend all this time on Instagram
shortlisting all these photographers whose style you like, and then
when you contact them, they're going to be like, I'm
not editing someone else's shit photos. I think you're going
to probably that's going to be your biggest hurdle to overcome.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
But there are also loads of photo.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Editing companies online and retouching companies rather than going through
a specific photographer, So you could kind of go through
those avenues as well, like we use them for Tony
may a lot for like deep etched products, etc. But
you could definitely find those types of services.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
I ask you guys, because I'm the only one here
who hasn't been married. Is it normal when you get
your wedding photos for them to all be edited?

Speaker 1 (25:03):
Because I've actually wondered this.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
There's obviously like fashions and styles that kind of move
throughout the decades, and I kind of like, I look
back on some of for my example, my brother and
sister in law's photos, they were taken like ten years ago,
and I've wondered whether they might like a different style
in the future. So do you get the raws so
that they can be edited as well?

Speaker 2 (25:24):
So what is normal is you usually do your selects,
so like selects will normally be on unedited photos. So
you choose your selects, and then a photographer will have
certain filters or styles or presets that they use which
they apply and they might do that in capture or
they might do that in light room, whatever it is
that the apps that they use, and they will apply

(25:45):
that across all of the images. So say you might
get one hundred images or twenty, depends on the package
you purchase.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
You basically pay for how many editor pictures you get.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
But they don't do things like unless you specifically ask
them they're not like photoshopping your face. They're not like
clearing up your simples and clearing up.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
Like people could. There's people out there that will do that,
but it's not generally good.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
That stuff is usually like all additional. It's usually just
like a nice color sweep that has done in order
for everything to look consistent and feel like it lives
within the same family, like color balance.

Speaker 4 (26:15):
So it's not normal for you to also get like
an SD card with the raws on it.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Some people do, like we got Yeah, we got all
of our raws as well. We got all of the
video raws and all of the unedited pictures as well,
but we also got like the ones we're editing black
and white and so like, it depends on the photographer.
Everyone is different. It depends on how much you paid,
It depends on what the package is. It's really how
long is a piece of string. I think the more
you pay, the more freedom you usually have to ask

(26:40):
for what it is that you want.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, and in this instance it's your friends.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
So like, I feel like you should be able to
ask for whatever it is that you want.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
I think it's probably a high chance you got the money.
Editor probably just send them to you. Whilst I agree
with you, Laura, it's like it might be not super
easy to just go on contact a photographer and get
them to edit it. But if you're paying somebody, you
will find somebody. There is one hundred percent somebody online
or a company that will do it. And it might
not be a really niche photographer that's going to do it.

(27:08):
It might just be a company, but without doubt, someone
can do this, Like we just sent Katy Perry to
the moon. Someone can edit your photos to make you look.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Like Uncut did.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Actually I'm not sure if we were aware of that,
but we specifically sent Katy Perry to the moon.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
We did, and we did. The thing that sucks is
we're just focusing on the editing, right and I guess
in my brain is immediately thinking about maybe the photos
of you and your husband specifically, or bridal parties. But
at the end of the day, you are also unhappy
with like the way he has shot your family. You
said your friends and family never going to be there again,
and I understand that, but they might still be able
to be saved. Like the right company, they can work

(27:43):
their magic. I know you said there's shadows and there's
all of this stuff. You can photoshop anyone in and out.
You can take shadows, you can add if you weren't
happy with your ile ad nile, like get them to
go all out. You know, there's so much you can do,
but you deserve to look back at that time and
be happy not to have not even posted like one thing,
or be able to physically look at them. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
And I think that there's a whole alternate part of this,
like look the wedding photos aside.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
Are you upset with your partner?

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah, you know, you've been married for a year and
it's still something you've held on to in your relationship
that you feel as though he either didn't listen to
you or he prioritized his friend's feelings over yours. I
think that this is one of those circumstances as well,
where you've probably realized, oh, I actually probably should have
been more vocal. This was really important to me. He
went ahead and booked something I wasn't okay with, and

(28:29):
I mean, you trusted that it was going to turn
out okay and it didn't. And I feel like that
this is one of those lessons in a moment where
if something is really important to you. I would dare
say you cared about the outcome of those photos more
than he does. The photography was more important to you.
And often that is the case when it comes to
a wedding, that the bride cares more about the aesthetic
outcome than the groom does, in which case, take control

(28:51):
of the things that are important to you. And I think, like,
I'm not blaming you for it by any means, but
I'm saying, like, looking at similar situations that might crop
up in the future, if you're like, actually, this matters
to me way more than it matters to you. So
I'm going to take control of this. You will troubleshoot
this shit happening in your relationship before it ever transpires.

Speaker 3 (29:10):
Yeah, but I also I agree, and I also get
it though, like she did ask her husband to cancel it,
but she obviously felt like he's put her in a
difficult position here totally because he's like, look, I've already
asked him, he's my friend, it's going to beautiful. And
the other the day you trust your future husband, for
him to be like, trust me, they're going to be beautiful,
which is what he said. There's a part of you
that probably goes okay, do you know what, I'll trust you,

(29:31):
you know which, in hindsight, it's a wonderful thing. Go
with your gut. You know you should have taken control,
but there's nothing you can do about it now, and.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
There really is.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Like the only other thing you can do is like
you have to at some point move past it.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
You can't. You have to.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
You can't spend the next ten years of your life
being like my wedding day was ruined because I don't
have photos. To be fair, I would say that there
are so many people who have things outcomes from their
wedding that they're not happy with or that they're disappointed with.
We don't have a video of our first dance, which
we spend weeks learning, Like weeks and weeks Matt and
I went to fucking dance classes to learn this silly

(30:06):
first dance.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
You both did Dancing with the Stars too.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
And the video, sorry, the photographer stood in front of
the fucking camera and blocked. I have a video that
goes for three minutes of the cameraman's back. That's my
first dance video, not a single video of it.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
And you know what, the annoying thing is people don't
film that for you because you got a photographer.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
Do you know what was annoying is that we put
paid so much fucking money and it was one of
my main mandatories was to have our first dance video,
so you don't have it.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
This was actually so nice. I haven't told you this yet,
but from my first dance, I obviously filmed it. I
will actually post that. I keep forgetting and whatever. Life's busy,
but I know people want to see it. I will
post it. But like a couple of days after the wedding,
Matt messaged me videos of the full first dance and
of mine, and he said, hey, may I know you've

(30:57):
probably got it from your photographer and whatever else. He's like,
but I couldn't risk what happened to you happening to us.
He's like, we don't have a first dance. And he
sent it to me off his iPhone and I was like,
that's really traumatized the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
Ye, well, it's just you know, it was super It
was super disappointing. Obviously, it wasn't Matt's fault. It was
the people who we've contracted its fault. But at the
end of the day, Their response was kind of like, unfortunately,
stuff happens, and I was like, well that's bullshit, No,
but it does happen. Like, you can't change the past.
They made a mistake, it's human error. Like what do

(31:29):
you do.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
I'm not going to discount.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Yeah, that didn't happen, but anything. No, Look, I mean,
like I guess the thing is is like you're not
on your own. There are a lot of people who
have small parts of their wedding that they're disappointed by,
but don't let it overshadow everything about how amazing that
day was. Like, the memories of that day are incredible.
I still know that my first dance with Matt was incredible,
and yes, it's unfortunate I don't get to ever watch
it back and see it in any format ever, but like,

(31:54):
you know, it is what it is.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
I can tell you that it was a beautiful dance,
thanks for it and everyone there very I also had
a pizza for my wedding cake, so I'll.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Not forget that.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
I was with three friends last night who all hated
their wedding photos. Some of them were like, we're gonna
do like a vowel renewal just so that we can
get different photos that we actually want to wow.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
But I think it's common.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
That's actually a good idea. Maybe you guys can do.
I know it sucks in a cost money you shouldn't
have to, but maybe you can do like an anniversary
shoot where it's like you get a dress or whatever
it is, you hire a photographer. It's not the same,
but you know, it might be a meet in the
middle and her husband has to pay for it. Okay,
So next question, my friend wants me to plan two
bridal events for her. I think it's too much? Am

(32:37):
I the asshole? I am a maid of honor for
my best friend who is getting married in November. This
friend is typically disorganized, leave things until the last minute.
I had to constantly follow up for details to be
able to plan her hands. She said she only wants
friends invited, but wants to do a second hens for
the parents. She said she doesn't want the parents at

(32:57):
the hens because she'd be worried about the mum's having
a good time the whole time and not enjoying it herself. Like,
so she's saying she's gonna be worried about the parents
if they're there. You know what. For context, the mums
don't get along when they drink.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Oh yeah, you can't do that, then you can't have
them there.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Well, just don't drink and behave yourself for your daughter.
I don't know. I don't think that's hard. But we
decided to just have the Hens without the parents and
no other events. I said I would not be planning
two Hens for her as it wouldn't be a special
the second time. Now, with two months out from the wedding,
she has asked me to plan the bridal shower so
that the mums can attend, so that they also get
to have a special day for them because they missed

(33:34):
out on the Hens party. Am I the asshole for
not putting me in the same effort or money into
the bridle shower as I am for the Hen?

Speaker 2 (33:41):
No, no, it's fine. Is a bridle shower thing? I've
never heard of a bridle shower? What do you shower
them with? And like, I get a baby shower because
you need specific things, But what do you need for
a bridal shower?

Speaker 4 (33:53):
The one I went to and she had a separate
Hens and I went to both. The bridal shower had
the mums that aren't tease all that kind of actually,
come to think of it, some of them were at
the Hens as well.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
But it was a lot more low key. It was
more like high tea vibes.

Speaker 4 (34:07):
So it was like an afternoon She did get some
gifts from, like the older people.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
I think it was more so so.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
That the older people felt included, and then the Hens
was meant to be like the younger, go out, get
drunk kind of vibe.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
I'm not into it. I think who's too greedy?

Speaker 1 (34:25):
I think that's a lot. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
Look, I mean if you want to have a bridal shower, though,
I think you just organize a dinner or a lunch
or something. Yeah, I just book a restaurant. I don't
think you need to go all out and decorating. You
also just reuse the decorations you had for the Hens.
Bring out the penis straws the second time around.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
Also, my mom came to my hands and she loved it.
She was the one party the latest. Yeah, but I
was like, Mum, we're going home.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
I understand, though, I understand when some people are like, Okay,
I can't have everyone together or it doesn't quite work
like I do. I get the premise of it, but
I don't think that the responsibility should just be lumped
onto the main bridesmaid or like the maid of honor,
to then pay for everything a second time round and
organize all the finances, because you know, whenever you organize
this sort of shit, you are always left with some

(35:09):
sum of money that has not been paid up to date.
There is always incidentals that as the maid of honor
or as the bridesmaids, you end up absorbing.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
Yeah, in that bridal shower, person's to fence, her mum
had it at her house, at the mum's house, and
her mum catered the whole thing. And I think it
was so that her nan and that kind of thing
could come and the mom's friends because they'd been you know,
they'd been involved in her life for her whole life,
so it wasn't a financial cost to go to the brad.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
So I do think, and like I mean, my little
understanding of it is like bridesmaids organize your friends hence parties,
if you're gonna have a bridal shower. I actually think
the mom should be helping to organize that. They should
be involved in it. It's not the bridesmaid's jobs to
organize a party for the moms, like that's weird. So yeah,
I would say I think it's okay book lunch, But

(35:56):
also I would be engaging the mums and be saying,
you know, we organized the Hens party, and like it
would be great to have you guys organize this or
have some sort of contribution since this is for you,
not for them.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
I just think it's a lot. I think we overdo it.
And I also think having like hens and bridle showers
and all of these things, I think they're just like
from a precedence that was set many many many years ago,
and I just don't think we need them now. Like
I don't know, weddings are too expensive these days anyway
for a lot of people, and then you throw in
bridle like weekends away and all of a sudden, gone

(36:29):
are the days of going to a Hens where you
have a lunch. It's like, all of a sudden, it's
a three day event and it really adds up for people.
Then they gotta pay for the wedding, and then they're
paying for it adds up. And I'm not saying people
shouldn't do it. Like you know, I had a Hens.
I think it's fine. I just think we need to
understand the cost of these things for people.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
And I also think we have to be mindful of
the expectation around gifting, because if you have an engagement party,
and then there's gifting at the engagement party, and then
you have a bridle shower, and there's gifting at the
bridle shower, and then you're having a wedding and there's
gifting at the wedding, like that, to me is a
lot of expectation on your friends, and I think it
depends how financially secure your friends and your entire friendship

(37:06):
group and everything is like that seems to me like
a lot, even engagement presence and engagement parties. I'm still
a little bit like, it's nice to give a gift,
but I actually don't expect that everyone gives a gift
for an engagement party, Like if I we didn't have one, so.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
I didn't have an engagement higher, but I think if.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
You have it, I wouldn't expect gifts from everyone who comes.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
I think it's also a big time expectation, like asking
to have multiple weekends where you block out, you know,
X amount of time I actually will Laura this is
probably a little bit of a Tony mahorn. I have
found the perfect bridal shower gift. It's one that I
don't know what it's called. It's on Tony May's website.
It's a little ring and it's got a little blue
stone in it, so you can get two of them.

(37:43):
There's a light blue and there's a dark blue, and
it can be something new and something blue for the
bride on her wedding day.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Is it the birthstone rings or yeah? Okay, right, because yeah,
the little acle marine was cute. I love that segue
while we're sitting in that life on cart twenty while we're.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
Sitting with that.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
It's not very expensive and it's something that I've bought
for a couple of bridal showers because I've been like, oh,
this is connected to the wedding and it's a nice gift.
But it hasn't put me out hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
Laura made my earrings for my wedding. We adapted something
and it's it's just its own stand one earrings. She
doesn't sell them, but you should sell them and call
them the Brittany because I've had a lot of people
ask about them. And I've wanted something named after me
for quite a while.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
So is this true?

Speaker 2 (38:24):
You were trying to, like want to get that ring
named after you? I saw on social media we ran
this competition where it was like, named the ring and
Brittany was like, for Fox's sake, just call it the
Brittany already.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
What is the girl gotta fucking do to get a
piece of jewelry named after No, but I have had
people ask me about it, So look, do what you want, Laura,
But I think there is a real sales avenue.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Did you lose them, like straight after the wedding? Did
you find them? About? Great? I love that you know
what I did.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
And I'm a sucker for this. I'm a sucker for
putting something in such a safe place that I don't
remember the safe place. They're so safe I can't find
them again. So I didn't lose them. I just safetyed them.
I unsafe them.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
So I do the exact same thing.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
I just leave on the roof of your cart.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
No, but then I will intentionally put things in super
safe places and I have no idea where they are anyway.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
All right?

Speaker 1 (39:07):
Next question?

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Last question, My partner and I have just moved into
our first home and I am definitely sure he is
my penguin. The only issue is his mum is a
super clinger. She'll constantly come over, super clear.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
She's a super cleaner.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
She'll constantly come over and want to fold our washing,
clean our house, and she just won't stop.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
Sorry, what's what's the problem?

Speaker 1 (39:28):
I'm like, I love her come to me.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
At first it was nice, but now it's just too much,
and I feel like she has just completely taken away
the chance for us to be adults and actually do
stuff for ourselves. I've mentioned this to my partner and
he doesn't seem to care, as he is an only
child and he feels like she's just doing this as
a way to stay close to him. Am I overreacting?
How do I approach this?

Speaker 1 (39:52):
HONDI?

Speaker 3 (39:53):
I can see what's happening here. I'm gonna assume you
are early twenties. You've said it's your first time, you've
just moved in together, you've moved out of the home
and stuff, and I one hundred percent know what it's
like to want your independence. You are going to have
a change of heart in a year like it sounds
cute to do your own washing and cleaning for a
little while, and like be your own person. You are
going to beg borrowing and stealing. Sorry. If there is

(40:16):
one person that would offer to come to my house
and say, hey, Brittany, just I just want to come
and clean for you. I want to do your washing,
I'd be like move in with me.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Like yes, yes, I disagree, but that is literally what
happened with my mother in law.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
And I was like, yeah, come and stay and never
leave me.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
You're like I disagree. You're like cool, I've got a
nanny cook and clean.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
It for a really long time.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
When we first like told Ellie to come down and
live with us, we were talking about putting a granny
flat in the backyard because we had the space for it.
We're not doing that now because we kind of thought it.
And Ellie's just like, do you reckon, I'm ember going
to get that granny flat because she's so like the
am I stuck in his house with you.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
Because you said like you can live with us, but
have your own your own and you're like Mohash's locked
in her room and I was some more washing.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Oh, we love you, Ellie, No, Look, I feel differently
for a couple of reasons.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
I mean, I'm obviously drinking too, but not really. No,
I get what you're saying. I validate you, but I
think you will change mine.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
No. I agree. It's different also.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
When you potentially when you have kids and like having
extra helping hands, et cetera, et cetera. But I understand
that it is very intrusive to have someone just come
into your space and feel as though they are entitled
to do the washing, do the cleaning, do all the things,
because it depends you've got to relinquish a lot of
control to be fine with that type of thing. And
I would say at the very very start when Ellie

(41:35):
moved in, we never ever had any friction, but there
was definitely a moment where I realized, oh, this is
only going to work if I stop caring, Like this
will only work and be really harmonious in this household.
If I go, if you want to do the washing,
do the washing. I'm not fighting you on how the
washing's done.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
You need to relax a little bit and let them
do their things.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah, because sometimes especially with like the older generation, I
would say, like our parents' generation, they have a really
speci way of the way that they like it to
be done.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
I don't care that much.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
I'll shove the shit in the washing machine and put
it on and sometimes guess what I put towls in
with t shirts?

Speaker 1 (42:09):
Ooh, who cares?

Speaker 3 (42:10):
I put blacks with whites sometimes.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
But you live on the edge.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
Washed three times?

Speaker 2 (42:14):
That would send Ellie into it out of space. She
would fucking Katie Perry her way out of this world.
But she honestly like she can't handle that. And I
can't handle the fact that she cares that much about
something I don't care about. So the problem is with
that situation is like I've realized, Okay, it's important to
her that it's done in a certain way, it's not
important to me. So I'm gonna walk away from it

(42:36):
and not care and I'll just go and do something else.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
I Yeah, And as much as I would say that
I would love someone to come and do that, I
would still love someone to come and do that on
my terms. Like, is that they told me when they're coming.
How do I know it's a structured you know, if
they're just if you're coming in from work and someone's
in your house and then like, I know it's not
someone it's your mother in law, But like if your
mother in law's in your house and she's just folding
your undies and stuff, that's different because you're like, bro,

(42:59):
come on, it's true, yeah, give me some space. But
if she's just saying, hey, what if I pop over
on Friday and clean everything for you, I'd be hallelujah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
The only thing though, is, and it's a very important
part that we haven't touched on, is you are in
a relationship with a man who should be able to
take care of himself, and if he hasn't been able
to show that he has the capacity to maintain a household,
to clean for himself, to take care of himself, because
he constantly reverts to the you know, mum does it,

(43:28):
Mum does this? Like that's going to be something that
is going to be a really massive issue in your
relationship later on. And I think it's different if it's
mum's coming to help and you guys are all okay
with it. But if he's cool with it, because it
means he gets out of doing anything and having any
parental or like you know, adult responsibilities, that is a
pretty big ick for me, and I think all it's

(43:48):
doing is reinforcing a behavior that will not be corrected
as he gets older. Like, if anything, you're going to
end up being the person that does fucking everything for
him because he's now in he's twenties and he lives
out of home, but his mum still comes over in
a Foldyes, undies.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
Yeah, there is no bigger EQ than a man that
can't look after themselves if that's if that is what
it is, if he's a grown man that's moved out
and he doesn't know how to do it.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
But also, I mean, I'm one for saying, like, let's
not judge people's parenting styles, but that to me is
like you are enabling your child to not be an adult.
He is a grown fucking man in his mid twenties
and you are washing his clothes for him. That type
of enabling is for me, like that's an unhealthy relationship
between parent and child, and all that's doing is stopping

(44:28):
them from being able to like function as a fully
fledged adult, have proper relationships. Be you know, someone who
you know, assuming that they're heterosexual, who a woman would
want to be in a relationship with, Like you're causing
them so many problems down the track, and these these
men are going to be like.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
But I don't understand why my mom did it for
my dad.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
My mom did it for me, and it's like it
just reinforces this real shitty behavior. So that would be
my that would be my biggest red flag about the
whole situation. And I actually think the way that you
deal with this is if it's upsetting you that much
that you get to a point where you don't feel
comfortable in your own home because your mother in law
has totally over inserted herself, I think you do have
to have a conversation and you do have to explain

(45:08):
to your partner.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
I love your mom visiting.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
I have a great relationship with her, but it is
going to it's going to damage our relationship that I
feel as though there's no respect for my autonomy in
this space. I want to do my own washing. I
want you to do some of your own washing, because
we are adults and this is our home.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
It's not your mum's home.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
It's always tricky though, those conversations, because at the end
of the day, someone's going to get upset and the mom,
you know, like the mom's going to be like feel like, oh,
maybe she accepts it completely, she's still going to be like, oh,
I didn't know when I feel bad.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
But she doesn't have to be. It depends on how
he manages that.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
All he has to say is is Mom, please, you
don't have to come and do our washing like we
want to do without ourselves. You know, if you want
to come over, bring us a meal on a Wednesday
night at home, cook meal, that's great, like, you know,
but don't do our washing for us, like you know,
Sah wants us to do it, and I don't. She
just wants to do her washing and like, you know,
she's really specific about it, like and I, you know.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
Let's just not I don't know.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
I think you can be handled in a way where
a mom doesn't need to be offended by that. Like
if she gets offended by it, then that's like her
shit to deal with.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
Any you're fucking brute or something.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Yeah, sometimes you are. Moms have feelings too, which can
you close out for mom? No, that is it for us. Guys.
If you have questions, send them into Instagram, Life on
Cut podcast and just put ask and cut at the top.
You always stay anonymous, but also send you accidently unfildeds
in remember to go and subscribe and watches on YouTube.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
So all the.

Speaker 3 (46:26):
Episodes are on YouTube. We also put like little short
clips up and it's a very different experience to go
and watch it. But we do really want to put
some focus on trying to grow YouTube. So if you
could do us as solid, go and have a look,
hit a like, leave a comment, and hit subscribe.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Also share this with a friend if we've answered any
questions that you think, Hey, I know someone who's going
through someone something similar to this, pass it on to
them and you know the.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
Drim mum, ty dad, tod dotka. Friends and share the
love because

Speaker 1 (46:51):
We love love

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