Ask Uncut - How 'Sentimental' Is The Gift, Really?? - Life Uncut

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
welcome back to another episode of Laugh. I'm Cat, I'm.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is as darn cut where.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
We answer you're deeply duck and you're burning questions. I
have a burning question of my own, and.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
I don't want it to be specifically keep related, though,
because I think that this broadens out to other topics.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Okay, probably you.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
All say as Brittain, I wouldn't be very good at answer,
but you were once upon a kid, so like once
upon a time, you were both children yourselves, and I
feel like we could all answer this one. How long
do you have to hold on to something that you
were given? This could be like something that your child creates,
or it could be like a card that you were
given by maybe your partner or a husband, or something

(00:52):
that should be or could be sentimental or meaningful, but
when you receive it, and after you've had the initial
joy of receiving it, you go not really as sentimental
cup as okay, like a painting or something from kids.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
I have always catched my grandparents' birthday cards because I
you know, you just never know when it.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Could be better than me. But that being said, I
can't remember where they are right now. So this I
know that there's somewhere safe, but I actually can't be.
My parents have kept heaps of stuff from us.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
They had like a box for stuff for everything, but
they don't want it now.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
They're like, come and take your box, and I was like,
but I don't want the box. I exactly why would
you want the box? I have a box as well.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
I have a box for Marli, and I have a
box for Lola, and one day I'll start one for Poppy.
And it's full of random drawings and paintings, and but
there is a scale like Mali and Lola will sometimes
give me a piece of paper that's got one single
line on it and I'm like, that ain't making the
box back?

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Of course not, And that goes in the bin. No,
it's got to be it's got to be proper art.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
But something that kids feel quite passionate about. It is like,
you know, plaster fun House. You know what do they
call plaster master or plaster fun house? Did you ever
do that as a kid.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
I spent many days at plaster fun House.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Don't you go and make like a mug or something.
Did your parents not love you?

Speaker 3 (02:03):
I mean we spoke recently about how I couldn't do
Halloween drust.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
No, Kisch came from a very hyper religious family, So
I'm like, did.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Your parents not love you? And everyone? Because we were like, no,
they did it. That was a joke anyway.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
He's just like, actually, I have a lot of trauma
that I need to unpack with it.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
The internal family system. No, you used to go as
kids and your parents wouldn't go with you.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
It was like they could drop you off there and
then they could go to the shopping or something, and
you would like the ballpit play kind of and you
could make paint stuff and ceramics or different levels depending.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
On what level you're at, Like I made it up
to ceramic level.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
But yeah, so plastic. Well, the ones that I know
of don't have ballpits and stuff. You literally go in,
you pick a plaster of Paris sculpture, and then you
sit down at a table and you paint it.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
They're also not dropping goal unfortunately anymore. Babe.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Now you take your kid and you sit with them,
they painted plaster whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
You have to sit there. You have to sit there. Yeah,
sometimes I paint one too, So.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
I'm always trying to encourage my kids to a cool one, right,
like pick a Disney character or something, because you know
that's going up on a mantelpiece somewhere. So we went
to plaster Paris on the weekend plaster Master, it's called here,
and Lalla is very defiant. She will pick what she
wants to pick. It's always something interesting. It's always something
that I don't want to put on a mantelpiece. My
question is how long do I have to keep this

(03:24):
cupcake burger?

Speaker 1 (03:25):
It's a fucking cupcake burger. It's really you know what
she's done? Well, that lettuce, that cheese, I can tell
exactly what it is.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, she did a great job, and she handed it
to me with such pride, and I was like, it's
now just been kicking around the house for a week.
I've been moving it to different locations so that she
might forget about it, and eventually one of those locations
can be.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
I think you need to keep it, but I think
you need to put it in a special room, in
a study or something. And that's where it goes where
no one goes, and that's where all their artwork goes.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
We don't have a study that no one goes. Her
house is not that big. There's something in every room.
We're got a main room. Put it in a bedroom
or something.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
How long do we keep this stuff? As parents? How
long do you keep the things that your kids have made?

Speaker 4 (04:10):
You?

Speaker 1 (04:10):
Can?

Speaker 4 (04:11):
I say my parents still have I painted a fish
at that place, but it was when I moved up
to a ceramic level. I painted a fish and a
plate and they still have them now and I'm thirty
eight years old and my mom still has it on
display on I'll shed a photo of it on a bookshelf.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
And it's a sick fish. It's like, it's a sick
a good one. Can I send this to your mom? No?
She fucking does not want that.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
If you're not watching this on YouTube, you need to be,
because it's it's a giant like Burger Cupcake.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
It's Picasso right here. Lola is so unique.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
I actually am so obsessed with her, the little intricacies
of how she's like. No, I don't want to paint
a Disney character. I don't want to paint a butter flight.
I want to paint a Burger cupcake. She's She's a
weird kid.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
It's really like you never know what you're going to get, right,
Like I like the like some kids are very predictable.
They like their pinks and their fairies and I'm not sure.
Like when she wanted to go to a Fairi's birthday
party that someone had and everyone had the beautiful mermaid glitter.
They were doing face painting, and Lala turned around she goes,
I'm want to be Batman, full black face, not that.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Guy to black face. Geezer, don't I just try to
cancel my five year old. For God's sake. She was
a fantastic Batman. She was fantastic.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
I think keep it to the end of the year
till Christmas and she'll forget about it when she gets
Christmas toys.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
I thought we could put it on that it's not
going on the life. Put it on the shelf.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
No to the dogs, actually, because then she thinks it's gone.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Well look, last question is in this is are we
keeping sentimental cards?

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Though?

Speaker 2 (05:43):
So if you get a card for a birthday, do
you read the card and then just put the card
in the bin because you've got the message, or do
you keep the card?

Speaker 4 (05:50):
I keep I have a card box from just Ben, Like,
I don't keep everyone's cards, but I will.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
I do have a couple from my mum and dad.
Same thing.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
I'm like, one, I'm going to want to look back
at this, But Ben's I have everything he's ever sent me,
even if he writes like a little note.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
I that's cute, Yes, because I was deprived.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
Of love a long time, so that's so cute. So
sometimes I just pull them out to read them. He
actually sent me a present the other day, which is
really sweet. He sent me a surprise present to say
congratulations on leaving this job and going to another one.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
If you guys missed it, we are leaving ARN and
moving to a different network. Yes, that will host nothing
else changes. No, nothing's changing big for us. Yeah, it
will change nothing for you, but it's yeah, we're excited.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
It's a big change for us. And so he sent
me a present saying congratulations. And then I opened the
card that came with the present, and he was devoted.
It was blank. They hadn't filled it out because you
know when you order it online and you fill it
out like a flowers or something, and they actually type it.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
They forgot to type the card. It was just a
blank card. It was low.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
It's probably because he wrote I can't wait to wrap
my octopuses around you, and then they were like, we're
not doing it. It's the other episode. It's okay, go
back and listen. And that's not even on an episode
you and I just talked about. But we put it
at the start recording Octopus. It was probably the funniest
thing that's ever happened on this podcast. Ever, it wasn't
even in a recording.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
I love him right, he can wrap me in these
octopuses anytime he wants your octopussy anyway.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Also, I need to.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
Give that that needs context to Ben and I call
each other squids, squid, subtentacles, tenticles, and octopuses.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
I'd prefer it without the context. Well, dis pussing me up.
That's how they're dirty. Yah, he has eight penises.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Fuck you guys. That's what makes it sound like. Should
we get into our vibes of the week? Laura watched
your vibe?

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Okay, So my Vibe is a skincare brand, specifically a
product by a company called The Secret Now. It's run
by two female doctors from Australia. It's an Australian own brand,
and I started using it when I had really really
bad malasma after I was pregnant with Lola. And this
is not a paid endorsement, even though if you go

(07:56):
and look it up, there is like some before and
after photos of me from years ago when I use
this product with Lola that Daily Mail stolen slapt all
over the internet, which makes it look like I'm getting paid.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Have not received a dollar. Just want everyone to know that.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
It is super, super effective in getting rid of pigmentation
and malasma. I've started using it again since having Poppy
because I had all of these spots that came up.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
I just get it it literally for.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Me hormonially, as soon as I get pregnant, my skin's like,
oh here we go, let's do this again.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
And it's really common though to get malasma when you're pregnant.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yeah, no, absolutely most people do. But it works really
well for me. So it is a bit of a
heat deep treatment plan in terms of the product has
hydroquinone in it, which not everyone wants to use. It's
a pretty full on ingredient that's in skincare, but it's
really effective in lightening your malasma and I have been
using it now for four weeks since Poppy is bond

(08:47):
and my skin.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Is like on its way.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
It's on its way to being great again, like it
really is. And towards the end of pregnancy, I was
starting to see it all come through really dark here
and I had some really.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Big spots that had come up as well. I commendation
looks really good. It's very glowy. Watch it on YouTube.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Everyone the secret it's the night cream. So it's the
night repair cream. I think it's called that's the one
specifically that has hydrocholerenone in it. You've got to go
really slow. I think I use it like once every
three days for the first week. Then I go to
once every two days and then I kind of build up.
But unless you have very sensitive skin, I think it's amazing. Also,
it needs to be prescribed, so you go online, you

(09:24):
put in all your details. You put in like how
sensitive your skin is, how reactive your skin is, and
the compound of that cream is created specifically for your skin,
so it's not just like a one.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Size fits all.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
It's created dependent on what you have, and it has
to be prescribed. So yeah, that's my recommendation. The secret
if you have malasma and you're looking for a way
getting rid of it super effective.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
Great, Well, my vibe is a product. It is called
Doctor Diamond. It's forty dollars thirty nine ninety nine. You
just get it online and it is it looks like
a pen, or like as.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
The length of like an eyeliner, I guess pens.

Speaker 4 (09:59):
The it does look like it's like a pen, and
it's just literally clips off and it is just that
a diamond cleaner, not just diamonds, but jewelry. It has
the product in it that you just paint onto whatever
jewelry you want to give it like a shine. You
sit it on there for a couple of minutes, then
you wash it off. It's so simple and it actually
genuinely really works. So for me, I obviously have just

(10:20):
gotten engaged, I mean married, I've obviously just gotten married.
I got it a very nice diamond ring. But I
never take it off and it gets filthy like makeup
and moisturize.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
It has the most disgusting film underneath.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
It just even like sun creams, like just that grease
that goes on there. It's like, but you don't. The
thing is you don't know your jewelry is dirty until
you've cleaned it, and then you're.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Like, oh wow. It's like your car. You don't realize
until you're like, oh wow, Now I realized. Yeah, my
craft looks like there's a small family living in there.

Speaker 4 (10:50):
I'm really dying for someone to come and clean my
carf and me. I can't bring myself to do it.
But anyway, so that's it.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
It's doctor Diamond. I just have money. I think it's
in my bag right now. My handbag.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
I'm just carried around with me because it's so small
and it's something you don't really think about, but you
buy one off for forty bucks that lasts so long.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
Okay, My Bade this Week is actually a cookbook slash
an Instagram account.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
It is by Christian Petrarca.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Now I am an NRL bogan, but i am told
I like the AFL and I'm told he is a
very good AFL player.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
So he played for Melbourne. He's moving up to the
Gold Coast.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
But he has an Instagram account called on Track, but
Track doesn't have a case, so it's like trac and
it's got like five hundred and fifty thousand followers, but
he actually released a cookbook quite recently, and what I
really like about his meals are that they're quite healthy,
but they're also really easy. So there's this one section
of the cookbook this is the exact same thing as
when I vibed Nagi's cookbook.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
It's called one Pot and I love the one.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
Pot recipes because you just put everything into the one pot,
so there's like really minimal.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Clean which I'm all about one pot kid, Like I'm
all about the minimal cleanup.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
I think that the one pot recipes have so much
flavor and they're really really good, so yeah, I think
they're fantastic. The cookbook's only twenty nine dollars. You can
get it from like Kmar, Amazon, Target. I'm sure you
could get it through you know, the links on his Instagram.
I've actually been following his Instagram account for like quite
a while now, and I've been using a lot of
the recipes from that, and that's why I ended up
just getting the cookbook because sometimes it's just easy to

(12:15):
have the physical copy in.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Front of you, and I really like it.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
It's got like some health stuff towards the front, which
I obviously just skipped.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Straight past and went to the one part.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
But he's Italian, so a lot of them are like
Italian based foods. If you're into that stuff. Ish yazing,
I love that record. Yeah, So it's on track by
Christian Protraca.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
And as always, the links for our vibes will be
in the show notes of the episode and also on
our website.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
All right, let's get into the list. Okay, all right?
Question number one, can you look through your partner's phone? Now? Now, wait,
I know this sounds basic, but hear me out. Okay,
here the question out. I've got a bit of a
moral dilemma and I'd love to know your thoughts on this.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
It's about whether it is ever okay to look through
your partner's phone, and more specifically, does it check if
what you find actually proves that they've been unfaithful or untruthful?

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Amen? Yes it does. No.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Now, I've never been the kind of person to snoop,
but recently I found myself in a situation where my
gut was screaming at me that something just wasn't right.
I didn't want to be that person, but the curiosity
and the need for reassurance were eating away at me.
When I finally looked, I found that my partner had
been deceitful. So now I keep wondering, if your instincts
turn out to be right, does that lessen the wrongdoing

(13:30):
or is it still just completely unjustified to look in
the first place. Fyi, my partner was extremely upset and
believes the act of snooping outweighs any wrongdoing.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh, the classic gas light and deflex.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
It does depend on what the wrongdoing was, Like, I mean,
did he cheat or did he, like, you know, lie
about going and getting ice cream on a Friday afternoon,
Like you got to know what there because everyone has
a right to a level of privacy.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, but her gut instinct being correct, isn't I knew
he got that ice cream.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
That's not what it is. Obviously we don't know. We
don't know.

Speaker 4 (14:03):
Yeah, well, let's make an assumption for this question that
he has done the wrong thing and she's seen something
that's not right, emotional cheating, cheating, whatever.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
That's the assumption. Let's assume he is a piece of shit. No,
I'm not a piece of shit, but yeah, it's not
ice cream. It's no. She actually does say, if you
find what actually proves they've been.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
Unfaithful, or on trip to Pussies, it's yeah, he's getting
the octopusy elsewhere. Okay, on your day to day No,
you shouldn't be just going through your partner's phone trying
to find things and trying to catch them out. That's
what I truly believe. But I do believe, and maybe
because this is what Ben and I do. We have

(14:40):
access to each other's phone. I've not once ever gone
through it, and he lives in another country. If there's
someone that could cheat, it's Ben. Like he's an athlete
in another country. I see every couple of months. He
is like living the perfect.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Life for it.

Speaker 4 (14:54):
And I still have never even thought about going through
his phone because I just don't get those feelings and
I trust him. I know he yeah, but I could
if I wanted. We know each other's past codes, whatever.
But I do think it's okay to go through your
partner's phone. If your body is saying something is not right,
I think you're cheating. I think it's okay, especially if

(15:15):
you find out they are cheating. The only reason that
he's making you feel bad is because you're fucking called
him out.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
He's like, you shouldn't have been going through my phone.
This is on you. You never would have.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
Known I was cheating if you didn't go through my phone.
Fuck off.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
The reason why I quite like this question is because
it is spicy, Like, a lot of people will disagree
with you, Britt.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
A lot of people will say, yeah, they're wrong. Well,
so I say to bench.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
A lot of people will say you should never go
through your partner's phone. And you know, the one thing
I've heard a lot of times people say, if you
had the feelings that you need to go through your
partner's phone, then you should leave the relationship. That's what
a lot of people say, right like, well, if you
think that you need to have a look in their phone,
you should leave. I don't believe that. I don't not
believe it. I think it's too simple. I think that
we can't simplify things down that much. That's great. If

(16:01):
you're like early stages dating, that's great. If you've been
in a you know, a medium to short term relationship,
If you've been married for fifteen years, all of a sudden,
your partner started acting weird, putting his phone down at
the table, being secretive, you've got three kids, like, and
you were saying, hey, you've something's changed, and they're like, no,
I'm just tired.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Just gotta work long hours at the office.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Like that's a really hard thing to turn around and
say to someone who's like in their fifties and has
had a long term relationship, Hey, if you have those
feelings that you want to look in your partner's phone,
you should leave the relationship because that's a you problem.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
The reason I don't think it's so black and white too,
is because sure, it's a you problem, but that doesn't
mean you need to leave. Often, if your feeling need
to go through someone's phone and there's no problem, that's
because you're still trying to work out your trust issues.
That could be something that you have brought in from
another relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean that you've you've got
Oh I'm going to go through and see if something's wrong.
Oh fuck, you need to leave that relationship. Like, I

(16:54):
don't think it's so black and white either.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
I think people can oversimplify and then demonize the person
that wants to go through the phone, right. I don't
think that it's clear cut. I think there is a
lot of gray with this, and I think in one instance,
if you don't find anything, then you're the asshole for
going through the phone, and if you find something, then
you're right. And I would say that there's a lot
of people listening to this who have been in the
instance where their intuition was saying something is not right.

(17:20):
The way they're behaving doesn't make sense, but they're lying
to me and telling me that they're faithful and everything's fine,
and you know, you've tried to go through the normal
avenues of having a conversation and looking through their phone
was last resort for validation on something. I know myself.
I have been through ex's phones. I have found the
thing I needed to find to make me feel or

(17:43):
realize that actually all of those feelings that I was
having that were making me feel absolutely insane were completely
valid because they were cheating on me and they were
texting that person and all of those things were true.
And so I don't want to say that it necessarily
lessens the blow because or it makes it less of
a problem going through someone's phone. I do think that
every single person is entitled to privacy, and going through

(18:05):
someone's phone is like a last resort. But if you
do find something and it validates all of those things
that you've been lied to about, and then you take
that to your partner and you sit down and say, hey,
I look through your phone and I found all of this,
I don't think the issue then should be turned around
and the issue should be, oh, well, you went through
my phone.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
The issue should be the things that have been led about. Yeah,
of course that's what needs to be addressed. It's gaslight in.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
But that's what everyone does when they get caught out.
They put the blame on the other person. That's the
first port of call, the first stop that every single
motherfucker that does that does. They make you feel like
you are the guilty person, that you've done the wrong thing.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
This is only blowing up because of you.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
But don't you think it depends on what the unfaithful
infidelity was?

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Do you not get I don't. I think it does someone.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
This is what I think, right. I absolutely do not
condone going through phones. We've said that for six years, Like,
I don't think anybody should be doing it. But if
you and it's not your first stop, if you think
your partner's cheating, that's not the first thing that you do.
You sit down, talk to them, just ask them. But
if you get to the point where it is impeding
on your life and it's all you're thinking about, it's

(19:07):
making you feel sick, you deep down know something's not right.
If the difference in you finding out if your partner's unfaithful,
is you going through the phone or not, then I
would say.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yes, you can go through it.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
If that is going to help you figure out that
your partner is being unfaithful, then I think yes, that's
completely okay. But if you go through it and you
don't find anything, then you need to stop because it's
not something that can just rule your life, and it
can't become a habit because it's a slippery slope. I
know people that have said once they started looking, they
almost can't stop, Like once it becomes habit and it's like, oh,

(19:40):
I'm just going to do my weekly check in because
you know their loggings, you've got their like, it becomes
it's just a really really toxic slippery slopes.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Do you know what? Though?

Speaker 2 (19:47):
That was probably me in the one relationship I was
referring to when I said I found something, but it
wasn't because it was a slippery slope, and I necessarily
became addicted to checking their phone. It was because I
always found things that reinforce that there was something. I
never found something big enough to be like, hey fuck you,
because he was a very good at deleting stuff turns.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Out spread crumbing.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
But there was a lot of like very flirty conversations
with girls. There was enough in there that it made
me so insecure that I was like, oh, I need
to check in on this, Like I had to keep
tabs on it.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
And when you're being gas lit like that, that's the
reassurance and the evidence that you're so you want the
need it the proof because you're like, I just feel
like I'm going crazy and I'm making this up.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, And I want to be really careful with this
because I don't want people to think that this is
normal or okay behavior. You shouldn't be going through your
partner's phone. And I do think that allowing someone to
self determine when it is or isn't okay to go
through someone's phone can be super problematic. So, for example,
at the moment brit Our conversation is like, well, if
you have those feelings and you think you're being lied to,

(20:46):
then what other choice do you have. I want to
flip that though, because what if you're in a relationship
with someone who's actually just quite controlling and they have
totally manifested shit that is like as in like they're thinking, oh,
maybe they're cheating, or they're doing this, or they're doing that,
and absolutely there's nothing going on.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
They're just fucking paranoid.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
But that's why I said, if you get to the
point where you've gone through the phone there's nothing there,
you need to move on and accept it. You can't
make yourself be doing weekly checkings like I'm giving you
like a one time only pass.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
But my situation was more so that, like I would
find the fluty messages, I would find things that kind
of gave me fifty percent of what it was that
I thought was going on, but I just didn't believe,
and he was always able to explain away and then
he would say, don't worry, like my phone, you can
look through it, and he kind of was really open
about the phone situation, so that gave me some reassurance.

(21:36):
But then at the same time, I knew he was
deleting stuff, so I was like, well, what have you
deleted anyway. It turns out he was a complete narcissist
and had cheated on me with so many women and
was lying to my face literally every day of our relationships. So, like,
I do think that when you were in those relationships
or when something is going on, often it's your intuition
that tells you. But when you're in a really safe, secure,

(22:00):
your stable, normal relationship, it is very unusual to want
to go through your partner's phone.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
I have never gone through MAT's phone.

Speaker 4 (22:08):
And I think if you are at the point of
your relationship where you're wanting to go through their phone,
it doesn't mean you need to leave, but it means
there's something that's not right in the relationship for sure,
and whether that's something you've brought in yourself or something
your partner's making you feel, it's something that needs addressing,
because it's not normal to be like, hey, I'm just
going to do a check when he's not here and
he doesn't know.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Yeah, not normal.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
So whilst yeah, just to summarize it, absolutely, I don't
encourage it.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
I don't think it's right. I think if you're in
a long term relationship, I think it's normal to have access.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
To your partner's phone. Maybe that's not everyone. Everyone has
different things in their relationship. Obviously, the access isn't like
free reign. It's just in case you need something or
it's there if you need it, But it doesn't mean
you pick it up as a sport and just like
scroll through their phone. But yeah, I think in this case,
he's gas lighting you. He's upset and he's telling you
you're snooping out weighs his infidelity.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
It absolutely does not.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
Snooping does not outweigh what he has done, because if
he didn't do it, you wouldn't felt the need to
do what you've done.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
So it's a cause and effect. You are not in
the wrong.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
What you do with that information now and how you
feel is up to you because we don't know the
level of what's gone down. But yeah, I'd be having
a really good think about that relationship.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
And the reality is is that if you're in a
long term, a happy, committed, stable relationship, there shouldn't be
anything in their phone that.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Sparks alarm bells.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Like, I know, you shouldn't have to pick up their phone,
but if you did, there never should be this issue
of like, oh, you stumbled across something you shouldn't have
because there shouldn't be anything to stumble across. Matt can
go through my phone any day of the week. I
could not care less. He can read every single message
in my phone. I mean, it would be weird if
he felt like he needed to, and I do think
I'm entitled to privacy. But if he did, I would

(23:49):
be like, hey, let's talk about why you're feeling so insecure,
rather than being like, how dare you go through my phone?
That would be my reaction. So I do think I
agree with you, Britt. The gas lighting is the issue here.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yeah, all right. Next question question two.

Speaker 4 (24:01):
My best friend had a baby and expects me to
offer to take the baby when I'm child free.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
I wrote this, did you You probably did not.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
My best friend had a baby this year, and suddenly
I'm public enemy number one because I haven't quote, offered
to take the baby for a few hours. I have
told her multiple times that I'm happy to help, just
tell me when, but apparently she shouldn't have to ask.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Look, I love her, but I work full time.

Speaker 4 (24:28):
I don't want kids, and I'm not exactly out here
craving baby cuddles on my day off. Am I supposed
to just show up and be like, hey, surprise, hand
me your child? Am I a bad friend? Or am
I just child free and confused your friend?

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Sounds like a punish I mean, I don't want to Actually,
I shouldn't say.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
That's probably bit harsh. She might be going through something.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
She might be having postpartum depression, she might be really struggling.
That is not normal to expect that your friends are
going to just show up and take your baby.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Also, not everyone wants their friends to show up and
take their baby like unannounced. That would give some people anxiety.
I do not think you have done anything wrong. I
think it is an unfair expectation that she just expects
you to show up without asking to take her baby.
And if this is not her normal behavior, I would
question whether she's not okay at the moment, because I

(25:16):
think that that's pretty unfair and unrealistic.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
Yeah, and I mean that's good coming from you, Laura,
because you have kids, so I don't have kids as
hard at me.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Why don't you show up at my house and just
take my baby? You would be like, fucking what are
you doing here? Like why are you here? You know
what you're doing.

Speaker 4 (25:32):
I actually think you've done everything right because you said
you've offered to take the baby for a few hours,
which I don't think that's an empty offer. I think
you've genuinely been like, hey, just let me know when
and how and what, and I'll come and help. Are
you going to do that every day on your day off?
Of course you're not going to, Like, it's not your child.
You haven't had a baby. Your friend has had a baby.
I think it's important you be.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
There for it.

Speaker 4 (25:51):
But I genuinely think that this is on your friend.
You've done the right things, you said multiple times, you're
happy to help. The shouldn't having to ask part and
you should just turn up. Is a bit strange for me,
because most people wouldn't want someone to turn up at
their house and just say surprise, I'm here. Not when
you're in the depths of it. I mean maybe some
people do, I don't know, but I think more people
would want to planned planned around feeds, planned around sleep,

(26:14):
so that you can actually optimize the time that you're
going to be away from the baby.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Look, I get it.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
I think that we have this romanticized version of friendship
in terms of, like, maybe she did really think I've
got to have that sort of village around me where
my friends are just going to pop in and like
take the baby, and I'm going to be able to
go and have a shower and like, I don't know,
have some self care or go for a walk or whatever.
Like some people do have that in their lives and
that works really really well for them, But I don't

(26:39):
think it should just be assumed that that's what your
friends are going to do, and that if they haven't
stepped up in all of those ways, that they're then
a bad friend and that they should be enemy number one.
I think it's really important to support your friends when
they've had a baby in different ways, you know, in
checking in on them, but you don't have to support
them in terms of like going to their house unannounced
and taking the baby. I think that that is expecting

(27:02):
a lot of the village, and unless you verbalize that
that's what you need and really communicated with your friends
that that's what you need, I think that that's an
unfair and really high level expectation, which is why it
makes me think maybe she's having a hard time mentally
and she's struggling because it seems a bit irrational. And
when you're really fucking sleep deprived and you're super overstimulated

(27:23):
and you're just exhausted, you do lash out in ways
where you go you haven't helped me, you haven't done.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Anything, and it's like, oh, co whoa, wha, who whoa, Well,
you need a nap.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
So maybe that is where she is at the moment
in her motherhood journey. Maybe she's really having a hard time.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
My question about this is like you're talking about the
village and showing up for people, like in the expectations
when someone has a child or a little bit you know,
personal they can change based on each person. But I
kind of ask, like we've spoken about this in an
episode a couple of months ago, and there was this
quote that was like, you can't have a village without
being a villager, And so how did that person show

(27:59):
up for the other people in their life when they
had babies? You know, Like what I'm trying to imply
is like she's seemingly got all these pretty massive expectations
on you, but does she show up for you? Well,
but yeah, I obviously can't be with a kid, But
like is she the type of person who really shows
up for you when you need it, and sometimes even
when you don't ask for it and.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
They still show up.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
Then I would say that you probably do need to
show up for that person a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
And I know I've said it a few times, but
I just want to reiterate it. I would approach this
and make sure that she's okay first, before you kind
of lash out and be like she's being crazy. I
think more so checking in and being like, are you okay,
because like, if this seems like her behavior is very
different to how she normally behaves, she very well may
not be okay and may not even really realize that

(28:47):
she's struggling so much, because yeah, like I would, I mean,
and everyone's different. I would never expect someone to just
show up and take my kids.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Take all three of them.

Speaker 4 (28:57):
I want them to It actually depends, like I think
about it bit more, and this is extreme situational, but
it depends if like, did she enter this your friend
enter this motherhood journey with a stable family and a
stable partner in security?

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Did he decide to fuck off and leave at the
last minute?

Speaker 4 (29:13):
Was there a breakdown that she didn't expect has she
been really lumped on her own? Is she going through
something else? Has she had family members that have passed
away or going through something. It depends what's like in
her life at that time as well. I think that
really matters. But yeah, just to you haven't done the
wrong thing, but I would just be doing exactly what
you're doing, reiterating it and just checking in that she's okay.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
My husband's sleep talk and now I think he has
cheated on me. A few days ago, I had a
sore come up down there and I mentioned it to
my husband, who I've been with for fifteen years. I
put it down to stress and didn't think too much
about it. That night, he woke me up sleep talking, saying,
no protection.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Big mistake, big mistake.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
It's worth noting he does sleep talk about work a lot,
as he works in this really high stress job. Am
I absolutely nuts for worrying that this has something to
do with me saying I had a saw down there
and now he's sleep talking about it because he's done
the wrong thing and cheated, and now he's worrying about
it in his sleep.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
He has never cheated on me before that I.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Know about, and We've never had issues in the past,
but I just can't shape this feeling. The term no
protection in his sleep talking has really thrown me as
it is such a randomly specific thing to say, especially
after I have told him that I have a saw
down there?

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Please help? Am I overthinking this? Is it weird?

Speaker 2 (30:32):
Also worth noting it's not like a visible blister or saw,
just a really sore spot on the labia.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
I need to know the husband's job. Does he work
in construction?

Speaker 2 (30:42):
I would Is he like a construction worker and someone's
just like no protection.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
He might have been insurance. He might be insurance and
he's like, whoa, we don't have a protection? Yeah, no protection?

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Yeah, I reckon here bunsen burner exploded in his eyes,
and he's like no protection.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
A very few scientists us bunts and furness outside of
you inside.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
I also think that even if he was screaming out
another woman's name in your sleep, it doesn't mean anything.
I have hooked up with so many people in my sleep,
people that I don't know. People have been disgusted by
people You talked up.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
With me in your sleep. No one didn't.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, you told me that once, you said you had
a weird dream that you were like disgusted.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
This is years ago, but you were trying to hit
on me or something, and you're hitting on me. We
were trying to fucking stretch and sweep me, britt. Yeah,
also joke. Also trying to up my skills. Guy. I
don't think anyone believes I really wanted to show.

Speaker 4 (31:37):
No, but genuinely, like sleep talking doesn't mean anything because
what happens in your dreams, it's not real life. And
like I said, I've not cheated in my life, but
in my dreams I have, it's not controllable, and it's
sometimes it's with women, sometimes it's with men, people I
don't know, people I know.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
I wake up to disgust it.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
So even if I was yelling someone's name out, like
whatever his sleep talking about, I don't think it. You
can say he's cheating because of that. Now, the spot
on your labia, let's talk about that. Yeah, that's a
whole nother kettle of fish. That could be nothing, that
could be something. I think either way, you should go
to a doctor to figure out what it is, because
he'll be able to tell you pretty quickly if it's

(32:16):
an STI if it's an SDI, then surprise, he's cheating
on you. But it very well could be a skin condition,
a rash, exma, psoriasis. It could be an ingrain, hair,
it could be have rubbed on your G string too much.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
It could be like it could be a multitude of things.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
If it's just a sore spot, and we don't we
can only go off what you've said, because you've said
it's not an open wound, it's just a sore spot.
Depending on what that means, Like that is very subjective
and that's open to interpretation. But your first stop shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
Be like, Aha, you sleep talk, you're cheating on me.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
It should be, hey, I'm gonna get a doctor and
actually check out what this is, because it'll tell you
definitively pretty quickly if it's an SDI, you know where
it's come from.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yeah, I would say that sleep talking is not the
definitive factor in cheating. The SDI is, and that would
be a pretty clear indication. You can always have a
conversation with him about this. It's not weird to say, hey,
last night, you said some pretty weirdly specific things in
your sleep, and it's I know it's made me feel
a bit insecure. It's made me feel a bit worried
that you can say that you can talk to him
about it.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
But I do agree with you, Britt.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
I think that it's not enough information for you to
clarify or validate whether he has or hasn't.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Do you know what it is? Though? It's two things.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
No, protection is very very specific, I would agree, but
maybe yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
But also it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything.
I think specific, but it doesn't mean anything. The two
things here.

Speaker 4 (33:33):
You've said a few days I had a saw come
up down there. The way you've said it and the
fact that you've written it in means you don't really
know what it is. It probably hasn't happened before. You're
a bit unsure. Otherwise you wouldn't have written it like that,
and you wouldn't have written in. And the second thing
you've said is I just can't shake this feeling, which
means there's something else inside of you that is telling

(33:55):
you that, hey.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Something might not be right here. And we go back
to the first question we answered in this chat. When
you're intuition, that's Reggie, it doesn't mean it's rage. It
doesn't mean it's right.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
Your intuition is not always right, but it means it's
your body telling you from a multitude of things that
have happened in your life, Hey, something doesn't feel right.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Let me investigate it that.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
You don't just make up those feelings like it's something's happening,
something he's doing or saying, or his actions to make
you feel.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
A little bit off.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
Then if I got to if I was feeling that,
then I got a surprise sore on my labor, I
would feel the same way, and I'd be like something, mate,
the math ain't math in here?

Speaker 2 (34:31):
Like it's a really tricky one, isn't it, Because like
we talk about intuition and like some people are intuitive
and are correct and other people are just paranoid. And
it's like, how do you know the difference between what
the two are?

Speaker 1 (34:41):
Because I think it's just a feeling that's worth listening to.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
It doesn't mean you have to do anything with it,
but it means you take a moment to sit back
and be like, hey, let's unpack this intuition. Why do
I feel like this? What's making me feel like this?
What I want to do with it? It doesn't mean
you like get this feeling, and you like pack up
shop and leave, you know.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Or accuse someone of doing something that they haven't ye
really done.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
As sleep talker, I live with constant fear. Okay, a
lot of the shit that I was being told that
I was said in myst sleep. You wake up when
people tell you fuck, it's the most embarrassing thing in
the world because most of the time you're like, Firstly,
I don't think that. I've never thought about that. It
doesn't mean anything to me. And I also don't know
what you're referring to. Like if if I was to

(35:20):
be woken up and told you said this weird thing
about no protection, I'd be like, oh fucking no, Like
I was clearly having a weird dream, like you often don't.

Speaker 4 (35:28):
Remember where I'm asleep talker to you, and I remember, like,
for example, my brother Mitch is the most placid gentleman,
and I.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Woke up, walked out to im dad, and I was like, Hey,
if Mitch shoots me, can I shoot him back? Why
would I say that?

Speaker 4 (35:42):
And they were like, well, no, Brittany, and then you
I was asleep, No, b two, youring start and make
it right. I'm like, he's sure, and they were like, yes,
went back to bed. It means nothing. It's like if
you cannot control what goes on in your subcontrent.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
If Mitch gets shot, I would say, look for Brittany
Hockley first. If mich shoots me, can I shoot him back?
They're probably like you'd probably be.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
My only point of saying the sleep talking thing is
that if you do question him about it and he
acts confused and like he doesn't know, he's not necessarily gaslight.
He could be, though he could be, but it's not
necessarily the case if he's like, I have absolutely no
idea what you're talking about, because often, like I was
a real sleepwalker, particularly when I was a kid and
a sleep talker.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
Now that I'm an adult, I used to.

Speaker 3 (36:20):
Play my piano in the night, like my parents used
to come out and be like yet and yep, I
was really really bad for sleep walking and sleep talking
and kind of having these unconscious conscious experiences and you
don't remember, you know, like you have no recollection of
what's happened. So if he's someone who constantly sleep talks,
he likely will be similar to me. And like I'm
told all the time that I talk shit and talk gibberish.

(36:43):
You can't even get me when I'm asleep, like I
keep talking shit. But yeah, so if that is the case,
I just want to say that it doesn't necessarily mean
he's lying to you.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Yeah, all right.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
Last question, My friends shared private details that I asked
her not to share. My brother recently went to rehab
and it was very much in sea. No one knows
except for his close friends, who he chose to tell.
I told my two best friends in complete confidence, and
one of them spilled the beans to some of my
other friends, despite me making it incredibly clear, absolutely, you

(37:13):
cannot tell anyone. This isn't the first time it has happened,
as my same friend also let slip that I had
done IVF with my husband. Now, my husband and I
had decided to keep that a secret. He wanted to
keep that private, but he said I could tell my
two friends so that I would have someone to vent
to and talk to about the process. I feel my
trust has now been completely broken twice.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Where do I go from here?

Speaker 2 (37:34):
Stop telling that friend thing, stop telling her secrets, and
stop telling her other people's secrets.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Yeah, also, like you were the one, sorry, I know
that someone's done the wrong thing by you.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
But your brother also asked you not to tell him.
You've told two people.

Speaker 4 (37:47):
If you didn't tell those people, they couldn't have told
their friends.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
I find the whole concept of secrets quite an interesting
thing to unpass.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
Secrets do not exist. They don't exist. There's no such
thing as a secret. It might be a sleep talker. Yeah,
you might tell them in this leap. Well.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
And the reason why I say this is because, like,
if you have been told a secret and then you
told one person.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
And you're like, but don't tell anyone, it's out.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
You have to believe that that one person, no matter
how trustworthy they are, how much you love them, whatever else,
they will probably tell one person in the same way
that you did. And especially when it's not your secret
to tell, Like, this wasn't your story. This was something
that happened to your brother. It didn't happen to you.
I understand you're very close to your brother. I understand
it probably impacted you in a lot of ways, but

(38:29):
it's still not your thing to share with other people.
And so you've then told one or two people and
then they have passed on as well. It's just like
secrets just move like dominoes and throw like while they
really do, don't they?

Speaker 1 (38:41):
And I don't know.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
I mean, it's a shame because you probably want to
feel as though you have people in your life that
you can absolutely trust and that you can go to
with this information. And I'm sure you do have those people,
but it's not to say that, like, you know, people
don't just say. Unfortunately, it is very common that when
you tell someone to see it ends up being told
to one or two additional people.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
It just does.

Speaker 4 (39:04):
The problem is secrets weigh very heavily on people. That's
why they don't stay within one person, and people like
to have human connection and shared experiences. This wasn't your
secret to tell, but it's an experience that you're going through. Yeah,
someone very close to you is in rehab, Like that
is something that you also might want to be able
to talk to a friend about because it's still something
you're dealing with.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, And no doubt, what your brother has gone through
that has ended him in rehab has affected you and
your family in many many ways.

Speaker 4 (39:32):
Yeah, So I understand why you want to go and
have those conversations with your friends, and I understand why
you feel betrayed that they have gone and told people
as well because.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
They have for them. It's like, hey, my friend's brother
went to rehab.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
Like it doesn't It becomes more gossip more than like
leaning on somebody. So I understand the betrayal. All I
would say is, yes, you can be disappointed in them.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
I just stop telling them stuff that really can't get out.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
And that's a shame because you obviously feel like you
want to talk to somebody, but they're probably.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Not the people. They don't seem like the kind of people,
and it is upsetting.

Speaker 4 (40:05):
But I would think anything that I tell somebody, even
if I say don't tell anyone, there's a part of
me that knows they probably will. You just hope they
don't tell the people at Affects or like or that
it gets there, it gets into the wrong hands.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
In a way.

Speaker 4 (40:19):
And I don't I'm not even using any I don't
have an example of information, but like there's always something
that you're like, hey, please don't tell anyone this, but
you sort of deep down know that they're gonna They're
going to at least tell their partner, because that's what
people in relationships do. We've had that conversation a few
weeks ago.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah, and like, you know, there's seen situations in the
past with work stuff like and whether it's been Tony
May or it's been life un cut where it's like
this information cannot be known. So I'm not going to
tell assault. I didn't even tell Matt some stuff because
I was like, yeah, I know that if I tell Matt,
he might tell Ash or he might tell someone that's
like directly close to him.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
When we have a risk of being sued. We're really
good with us. I mean, like we keep in they's
for money. I give that the mess up.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
So I also just I know that it's very easy
and quick to we can be quick to villainize your
friend for sharing the secret and being like she did
the wrong thing, she betrayed you, and make her like
enemy number one for sharing a secret.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Because we've all done it.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
And yes, it would mean that maybe she is not
the most trustworthy person to tell your inner most secrets
too that you don't want anyone to know. But at
the same time, it may not have been done in
a way that was as malicious, malicious and vindictive as
what I think it may sound when you just read
the question at for example, you going through IVF. She
may have had someone else who's super close to her

(41:33):
who's going through a really hard time, and she used
you as an example of like, hey, you know, actually
my friend Sarah is also going through a similar thing.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Like we don't know the context.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
Is she doing it because she's just a total gossip
and loves to like revel in other people's information and misfortune,
or did she do it because it was something that
she actually thought might have been helpful to someone else.
We don't know that information. Regardless, the end result is
you felt betrayed. And the only outcome of this is
choose the friends that are valuable for different reasons. She

(42:04):
is obviously a great time. You obviously love her for
so many other things.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
She's your best friend.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Telling me a secrets, so like you can have that
friendship and then reserve some of those really important things
that you want to keep to yourself to the other
person who you know isn't telling anyone, Like, I think
you can have friends that have and serve different purposes.
I don't think you need to cut her out of
your life because she's done these two things that have
really set and.

Speaker 4 (42:28):
We all have those friends, Like we all have those
friends where you know that they're the gossip. You know
that they're the one that you can't actually you like,
if you want something kept, you don't tell that person,
Like everyone has that person in their life that you
won't tell them until it's allowed to be out.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
Yeah, but I do understand why if that's your best
best friend, that might make you question is that someone
who you actually want to have a long term friendship with?
And what I would say as advice to that is,
I just I do think that friends serve different purposes.
You don't get everything you want out of that one person,
and so if you get so many other great things
at it, a great conversation, really great time, like they're

(43:02):
always there for you, then I would say that's fine,
Like have that person for all of those experiences. And
if you need someone to confide into the utmost degree
where they're going to keep a secret and like absolutely
you know it's not going to go to anyone else,
pay a therapist. Yeah, I just yeah, I would stop
telling her telling a secret.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Do you know what though?

Speaker 3 (43:22):
On the other side, like I recently was told a
secret that I was told.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
You know, this is top info. I don't want to
give away any information.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
That was a test and I had people asking about
certain This is hard to not give any details, but
for the reason of keeping the secret. The position I
was in is that there were people asking me for
information about something that I did know information about. And
the thing that I ended up realizing is that I
just said to them, Hey, I'm not going to talk

(43:53):
about this until a certain time, or I'm not going
to share that information with you. And I was so
so firm about that, and it made me feel a
massive sense of relief because I knew that if ever
something did come out or something was, you know, this
secret got out somehow, I knew that my conscience was
clear totally. And so it really taught me a lesson
of being like, I don't have to skirt around it.

(44:14):
I don't have to pretend like I don't know when
I say, oh, I have no idea, this is all
I know.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
I just have to say, hey, I can't talk about that.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
And it's easy and I would agree with that if
you're putting boundaries in place.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
But there are some people who would be the one to.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Bring it up at the dinner table, like they know, oh, Hey,
oh my god, did you No one knows this, but
I want to be careful with this because I am
sure that everyone listening to this does have someone in
their life who they can absolutely confide in and is
a rock and they feel is super solid. So they're
probably listening to this being like, no, actually, there are
some people who can keep secrets, and.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
Maybe we poll it, poll it.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
I would love to know if someone tells you a secret,
are you keeping it to the grave or do you
have like one person.

Speaker 4 (44:54):
That you tell everyone's telling someone at some point? No
taking anything to the grave.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
I mean example of this is like, I have one
person in my life who I can tell things to
and I know it won't go anywhere. She won't even
tell her husband, right Like, I know that for a fact.
It's a soull point in her husband her relationship that
she doesn't tell him things.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
I've got that one person too. It's really nice. I
think all three of us, these people for each other.
That's the question. We're like, I know this.

Speaker 4 (45:20):
One person said, oh hello, Obviously in a trust triangle we.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
Were do you know what the reason why is?

Speaker 2 (45:27):
Because we are the fucking we're talkers, We're talkers and
that's it.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
I just don't know of anything that yes, I trust
to tell Ben. But yeah, that's what I mean. Okay,
that's why you love the person. That's what I mean.
I don't know because I asked you would tell Keisha.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
I asked Kesha the other day if I could tell
Ben something, and she said no, and I absolutely I
promised her I wouldn't and I told him and.

Speaker 3 (45:51):
I and then I found out later on Facebook no,
and I absolutely won't because I care about Keisha and
she said don't.

Speaker 4 (45:57):
But like if I didn't have that conversation, I didn't
check in wh her, I probably would have.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (46:02):
I think the thing is with us is and I
mean this is probably exciting for us to reserve for
off mic is that we come as like a tree
go So like if I'm.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Telling Keysha something, you're going to find out. If you're
telling me something, you know, like it goes if it doesn't.
It's like sisters. Yeah, you know what, that's what it is.
We have any relationship, Emily, all right, it's time pressed
to go.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
Go, hit YouTube, hit subscribe, follow along, leave comments.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Please we want your accident unfiltered We need.

Speaker 4 (46:27):
A fresh bunch of some really solid embarrassing moments, so
make sure you send those into Instagram and of course
your ask gun cuts all to Life on Cut podcasts
on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
If you're not following Instagram, please go in here, follow
and you know the drill. Hell you mum, tey dad,
tey dog. Tell your friends and share the love because
we

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ask Uncut - How 'Sentimental' Is The Gift, Really??