October 9, 2024 • 45 mins
Hey Lifers!
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions!
Britt's sister Sheri has had her juice go missing from her fridge and the culprit is not a character that you'd suspect!!
Have you had a tradie do something that they weren't supposed to at your house?
Vibes for the week:
Laura: Laundry Apron with pouch
Britt: Netflix Nobody Wants This
Keeshia: Emily Henry Beach Read
Then we jump into your questions!
WHEN IS IT APPROPRIATE TO MEET UP WITH MALE COLLEAGUES?
I am a single, attractive (thanks genetics) female working in sports, which entails mostly male coworkers, travel and a lot of late nights. My question is, when is or isn’t it appropriate to meet up with male coworkers, particularly one-on-one, outside of work? I try to err on the side of daytime or group activities, however, I do feel like I have genuine friendships that sometimes are hurt because of my fear of an interaction appearing inappropriate to others because of the male/female thing, or for fear of a coworker I *thought* was harmless taking things in an inappropriate direction after a few drinks (it’s happened before). Am I over thinking this or are my guidelines for myself appropriately placed? Worth noting that 99% of these men are married.
DO I GIVE THE FAMILY SOME MONEY OR RESPECT MY GRANDMA'S WISHES?
My grandma passed away. She had been estranged from my parents and siblings and all other family members for over 15 years. During those 15 years I’ve had a close relationship with her. She made me her enduring power of attorney (her decision maker) and also the director of her will. My parents and siblings have had hate and bitterness towards her and completely wiped her, but I never experienced anything they did so my relationship with my grandma was never affected. My grandma has left me with everything including some money. Do I respect her wishes and not give any of the family money or belongings or do I divide it because they want it and said they deserve it?
CAN I GET A 4 YR OLD MAKEUP FOR CHRISTMAS?
I have a four year old daughter that is obsessed with makeup and clothes. We don’t mind the clothes, she loves dresses and tutus and wears one everyday, even to bed! But I’m a little worried that she loves makeup so much. She sees me put on makeup for work everyday and I explain that everyone is beautiful without make up, sometimes we wear it to look fancy. She now wants to look fancy for daycare everyday. All she wants from Santa is a big makeup kit. I suppose my questions are: Do you think it’s okay to get a four year old a big makeup kit for Xmas? And is her obsession with makeup at 4 years old worrying or okay considering she is very young and we are careful with our messaging around not needing makeup to look beautiful.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode a Life Uncut.
I'm Brittany, I'm Laura, and it is therapy Thursday. Ask
gun Cut where you're writing your deepest, darkest burning questions
and we answer them. We've got a couple of bangers,
but before that, I have my own question for you.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Is it deep, dark and burning? You can get cream
for that?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Well, it's pretty funny, but it sort of relates back
to one of your stories a little while ago, Laura,
when you were talking about the trade that came to
your house and took a dump in a toilet.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Did I give you an update on him? Oh? W
wa wa wa.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
We were okay. This happened a couple of years back.
When I used to live in brits now House. We
used to have this person who came and they would
do maintenance on the property. And this one day he
was running super late and it was a Saturday morning,
and then he arrived and he asked if he could
use the toilet, and he did the world's stinkiest shit
in the toilet. It was so unbelievably bad, and it
(01:17):
became evident to me that he'd obviously been out drinking
the night before and came and.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Okay, we don't need to know what he ate, but okay, no,
he came and did his grog bog in god bathroom.
The update on that is that he was sent the
episode by lots of people and then he yelled at
Matt on the phone.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
You've updated us with that. Yeah, no, we already know that.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Okay, sorry, can.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
You name him?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Nah? But it's his fault. Yeah, be accountable, don't.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Grogogg and people's lose. And I even tried to make
him seem more obscure. I changed the trade and everything.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Okay, Well, is this okay or is this too far?
So my sister Sherry is still living over in Scotland,
so this happened to just recently happened to her. So
her and her husband Jay, they live in an apartment
in Edinburgh, and they had some work done, right, they
had someone come and fix some of the windows or
whatever else.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
But Sheridon had been sick for a little.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
While, like just really struggling to recover from a bit
of a chest infection in the flu. And because she's
pregnant Slash had a baby, there's not a lot of
drugs she can take. So she went to old school.
She got this like big cart and of orange juice,
and she was just consuming all the goodness with food.
That's it. And see that's how she's trying to get better. Yeah,
she knew that she had just gone and bought this
like two liter bottle of orange juice and she went
(02:32):
to get it to have a drink and it was
not there. And she only lives she doesn't share with anyone.
She's just her and Jay, and Jay's brother lives downstairs.
So she went back out to Jay like.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Raging, like hormone filled sick, wanted juice, and she's like,
I cannot believe you drunk my juice. She's like, you know,
I am here struggling to stay alive, and you've you've had,
You've drunk the one thing that I can consume, the
only thing that brings me happiness and joy.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Trying to make breast milk, goddamn it, and He was like,
what why would I do that? And she's like, well,
I don't know, you tell me. Anyway, They had this argument.
He's like, babe, I promise you I didn't drink the juice,
and she's like, well, who would have drunk it? Then's brother,
Jay's brother, so she was on a rage. She went
and asked Day's brother and Jay's brother. I haven't even
been upstairs, been at work, and she's like, one of
you motherfuckers is lying to me, like, don't gaslight me.
(03:21):
I know I bought the juice. Anyway, they were like
who else could it have been? And then they remembered
that they had a trady. You can't drink a liter
of juice, So Sheridan was like, surely not. So anyway,
they have a door bell camera.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I've got the photo.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
They've got a screenshot of the trade leaving with the
whole bottle of juice.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Under his shoulder.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He just he didn't just drink it. He just went
to the fridge, took the juice and he's leaving the
house with this bottle of juice. I've got the photo.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
What did she do?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
What are you gonna do? Calling back and say give
me the juice.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Surely you text him and be like, dude, you just
took a full liter of juice.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I don't know what is the etiquec. Surely like you're
allowed to go and get a drink as a trade,
but you're not allowed to just go do your shopping
out of their fridge.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
I am absolutely I've got to shook it. I wouldn't
make this clear because I've seen the photo, and when
Britt told me this story, I thought it was like.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Some small little bottle of juice. I think single use.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
He's literally got the cart and he had to wrap
his arm around it, that's how big it is. So
he's carrying all this stuff out. He's got his entire
elbow engulfing the juice.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
So wait, wait, wait, is this a one off guy
that she they've just called in to do one maintenance?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Does he work for a company or is.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
He's not coming back? I know that much.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It was the end of fuck that she needs to
contact the company and put it a complaint and send
the photo of the juice for what.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
What's the purpose? Like, what are they gotta refund them?
Like four pounds?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I know how I felt when someone ate my lactation cookies.
How that is outrageous.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
He's got the whole bottle.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
He's just leaving.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's at the front door. He's got his shoes, putting
his shoes on, looking out the window at the sun
with his bottle of juice.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
He's had a great day, probably looking out to the
other neighbors as to walk groceries again.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
The window on his way. Sharon zoomed in a circle.
It like I couldn't see it. It's so look, she goes,
here's the evidence. She's like, what do I do it?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
I think you contact the company and just say, hey,
just wanted to let you know, have a chat to
your workers.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
It's so fun. But I also think you.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Have to explain why.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Like, it's very if you are postpartum, that is a
very different phase of life to be stealing food from.
Do like that matter, though, yes does. Postpartum is ten
times worse.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But like, you shouldn't be stealing juice regularly anyway, even
if you don't have a baby. Even if someone came
to my house. I don't have a baby, I'm not pregnant,
and I would be distraught if I got home knowing
that you had something in there like that you were
looking forward to and then you realized the trady just
legged it out of the house.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I want to know if you guys, whoever's listening to this,
there a few of you I know, have you ever
had a trady do something that they shouldn't do in
your home?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Did they steal something?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean, we can tell more poose stories if you've
really feel that inclined, but.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Like, what did the trade do?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
What did the trady do?
Speaker 4 (06:10):
And also my whole family of trading is I don't
I don't shoo it on trades.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
They're amazing, but there's like these stories to me are hilarious.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
My brother's a builder and he has a lot of
people who works for him. I reckon he'd fire someone
for this or could be like, you can't just go
into people's twitches and help yourself. Also, nothing like I said,
nothing against trades either. They're currently renovating my house.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Don't not do that.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
But I want to know what did you do? Like
do you just help yourself to stuff?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Like I'm curious about the level you'd be okay with
Would you have been okay if he had have taken
the juice and poured himself a glass yes, you reckon,
that's play on yeap, because if you're thirsty, maybe his
blood sugar's low.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Like if it's someone in my house working for me,
if I say, help yourself to a drink, because that's
what I would say when I drink. I have a gardener,
And when he comes, I'm like, do you want to drink?
And if you need something, to get something, because I'm like,
you're parched, you're working hard, like I'm not going to
make them starve. But if a trady went and just
like helped himself to my leftover nacho's and started like
(07:04):
eating out of my fridge and packing his bag with
my groceries.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Like he makes himself a little lunch bag, you know
what he's gonna say though, right, you know he's gonna
say there wasn't much left in it.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
It was only enough for a glass, so he took
it on the go.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I reckon.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
The best defense would be I'm so sorry. Usually I
take a drink with me to the site, and I
just got confused that day and I thought.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
It was mine. Sherry doesn't have the time or the energy.
She's not following up the OJ thief like that's dead.
I just thought it was funny, and I'm like, how
much is too much?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
No? I need I need a follow up. She needs
to follow up. I will follow up for her. Sherry,
send me the details of the company. I will send
the photo on and the email. I love writing an
angry email. Something you don't know about me, Guys. I
love I'm an angry letter. We know. Nah, I'm just like,
I'm an enthusiastic reviewer, but I'm also an enthusiastic positive reviewer.
(07:52):
Can I tell you the funniest that this is? Years
and years ago, I used to have a breakfast show
down in Victoria. Shout out to anyone in Bendigo. We
used to have a segment. We used to have a
segment because we basically we would speak about how whenever
people complain to places, they tend to get things for free.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Right if you like I had.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
The worst food here, They're like, oh, please let us
you know, reimburse you or whatever you get gifted if
you complain. We wanted to test whether you could do
the opposite and still get the free stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
So we used to.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Write to companies and be like, I am so in
love with your product, like whatever it would be the
only people who ever wrote back and sent us a
huge box of stuff was Cobs Popcorn. Good on Cobs,
good on your shout out to Cobs.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
But also, they're not going to send you free stuff. Cobs.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
We're the biggest, one of the biggest platforms in Australia.
Send us for spe I.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Actually you don't have sweet and sours divine.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Yeah, And now they're probably gonna have to change that
policy because too many people are going to write to
them and tell them that they love their product.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
They go unpacked.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Let's go into our vibes.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
My vibe for the week is a laundry apron Okay,
super high brown, go hit us.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So, okay, picture this. I don't want to pitch your
naked with an laundry.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
You wear your normal clothes. You put on a thing
over the top of it. I got serve this online
and I was like, that is genius. You know, annoying
it is to like carry a washing basket to and
from You're no longer need to do that. You're just
gonna put this apron on and it's got like a
big pregnant belly sack that you load all of the
washing into so you wear your washing kangaroo. That is
actually brilliant.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
It's a kangaroo sack.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
You can get them on Amazon. They're ten barks and
you can then just wear your washing. The problem is, though,
if you're real lazy, you'll just wear it for a week,
Like I'm someone who never puts washing away. So you
can put it into your pouch.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That's where Lola is. Lola's just in the pouch. That's
brilliant because I always go especial when you're geting stuff
out of the dryer and you try and pick a
whole basket up in your arms. I don't put it
in a basket and I try and carry it all
the socks and undeys drop all over the house.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
It's like how you try and do like every single
grocery bag in one go. I try and do the
same with washing, but I usually I never know where
the basket is.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Kids move. It's upstairs, downstairs. So this is amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Just put on your apron, put your clothes in your apron,
and off. If you go like a kangaroo to hang
out your washing, put your clothes in.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Off you go.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
I'm gonna put a link in the show notes. It's
very stupid, but I think if you get on board,
this could be the movement we're gonna all wear.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I am about it.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I think that's Laura was like, I've got the dumbest vibe.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I think that's actually.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
A really great vibe.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
We're all gonna be hopping to the clothesline.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I'm gonna show you look at it. It's pink too,
it's cute, so fatch show me. Oh that is so ugly.
That's actually hideous, practical kidius.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
You can like really tradwife it art. This is like
ultimate tradwife style.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Not that I'm endorsing tradwives, but like, look at that
trad husband.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Matt looks so good in this.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Okay, all right, I'm gonna go to my vibe. My
vibe this week probably isn't going to come as a
surprise to anyone. Half of you have probably watched it.
It's number one on Netflix. It's nobody wants this.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I haven't seen it yet.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
Oh it's great. It's the new rom com.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I absolutely loved it. It's Adam Brody. Do you remember
Adam Brody from the OC?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Like I just to go so what everyone is saying
now and I couldn't agree more. Everyone is just saying,
how have we gone twenty years without having Adam Broidy
as a lead in a rom com? Because he's brilliant,
Like the chemistry he's acting, he's so wholesome. His character
is amazing as well. But long story short, it's about
a rabbi who is in his thirties and he's single,
(11:18):
and it's about this woman who you will love, Laura,
because she's a podcast host. Her and sister have a
podcast host is a sex podcast, and she's a bit
chaotic and she's got all these red flags and she
can't find the person and she's self sabotages and all
this standard stuff. And it's just a rom com about
them trying to make two different lives work. And I
just loved it, Probably the first I've watched in a
(11:40):
while that actually highlights what a healthy relationship actually should
be because it's not problematic. There's not really any jeopardy
like you would think there's. The Only jeopardy is the
difference in their lifestyles. But his character is beautiful and
wholesome and loving and caring, and he's there for her,
and that is my vibe. If you haven't seen it yet,
it is number one on Netflix. Nobody wants this.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
I haven't seen it, and I will watch it this
weekend because it is on my hit list. My vibe
for this week is a book. So it's a novel,
so a fiction book. It's written by Emily Henry, and
this is it's not a hot take. The book came
out in twenty twenty. But the reason that I think
it's quite of the moment, I suppose is because Emily
Henry has written quite a lot of romance based novels
(12:24):
and they've announced that there are going to be five
of those novels adapted into films. So the first one,
it's actually not this one. The first one that they're
going to do the first of five is People We
Met on Vacation, which is one of her other novels.
And I saw this on Jamila Jamil's Instagram because she
has been cast in the film adaptation of it. So
(12:45):
anyway back to Beach. Read what I liked about this.
This is the synopsis. It's a romance writer who no
longer believes in love and a literary writer stuck in
a rut engage in a summer long challenge that may
just upend everything they believe about Happily ever afters What
I liked about this, and again, I'm an audiobook listener,
not so much a reader.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
It was so easy to consume. There were not any
like massive twists.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
This is just for someone who do you ever get
into that move where you like, I'd really like to
read again, or I'd really like to listen to a novel,
But I don't want something that's going to be super
heavy or it's going to take up too much mental space.
This is just a real genre. Is it light and fluffy?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
There's romance? Okay, yeah, so it's not.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
I wouldn't say it's light and fluffy. It's more just
like a soft, easy to read romance.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah about two characters that it's such a pivot for
your kish because we know you like you're smart. Yeah,
I don't say that as a joke if you've listened
to the podcast cause you're like smutty books.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, there's no smart in this one.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
There are, like I would say, there are sex scenes,
but they're definitely not like hot and steamy, so mate
for love. Yeah, if you would like an easy entry,
nice novel to read, maybe you're going on a holiday,
or you just want something that you can read over
a weekend or so. I consumed this one pretty quickly,
and it was nice and enjoyable, and also I love
the fact that I'm going to be one of those
(14:04):
people who can watch a film and go, oh.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
The book was better, all right?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Question number one, when is it appropriate to meet up
with a male colleague? I am single, I'm attractive, thanks genetics, Yeah,
go girl, I'm female, and I work in sports, which
entails mostly male coworkers. I travel a lot and do
a lot of late nights. My question is when is
or isn't it appropriate to meet up with male coworkers,
(14:30):
particularly one on one outside of work. I try to
err on the side of daytime or group activities. However,
I do feel like I have genuine friendships that sometimes
are hurt because of my fear of an interaction appearing
inappropriate to others because of the male female thing, or
for fear of a coworker I thought was harmless taking
things in an inappropriate direction After a few drinks.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
It has happened before.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Am I overthinking this or are my guidelines for myself
appropriately placed? Worth noting that ninety nine percent of these
men are actually married not.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I mean, if you say it has happened before multiple
times that you've gone out and they've done the wrong thing,
then I would probably not be going out with them.
This is a really tricky question to answer because you
need to understand the dynamics of the specific people that
you're meeting up with. At the end of the day,
I do think that it is fine for male and
female coworkers to coexist and be friends. It depends on
(15:28):
the situation. If you've gone away for our work thing
and there's ten of you, ten staff that have gone away,
but you just go and have dinner with one person,
then I would say that is inappropriate, and it's probably
highly likely it will start some kind of a rumor
or talking. I'm not saying that that's okay and it
shouldn't be like that, but it is. At the end
of the day, two people have sought each other out
(15:48):
for a private dinner when there's ten other people. But
then I think, if there's just two of you that
have gone away for a job, you're in the same hotel,
you know, you're just friends. You know there's nothing there,
and it's like a Hey, you want to grab dinner
together before we hit the hay tonight, so that we're
not both just sitting in the same restaurant on opposite
sides alone. I think that's okay. But at the end
of the day, if you feel like something is going
(16:11):
to be inappropriate, I would be listening to that. So
if you think that someone's partner will be unhappy with that,
or there might be certainly you might be leading this
person on a little bit, if they've been a bit
flirty anything like that, I think it's just a too
hard basket and it's not necessary to bring that into
your life.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Further, I think that it really sucks that this is
something that you have to be so conscious of. And
as women, I know when you say I'm attractive thanks
genetics like it definitely that definitely plays a factor in
this because when you are a hot, single woman and
if you opt in to go for a dinner or
a drink with a guy, I think it is very
(16:48):
easy for someone to misconstrue your niceness, your politeness, your
enthusiasm around conversation as flirting, like it is so easy
for those.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Things to be misconstrued.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
It is so eas easy for someone to and like,
And I don't want to even say it's easy for
them to get the wrong impression as though you were
giving them the impression. I understand why you've been in
this situation, and I think it is so shit that
often some men take kindness, take engaged conversation as flirting,
and they misinterpret those cues.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
That is not on you, that is on them.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And it's very, very unfortunate that it means that you're
in a situation where you have to be wary around
whether or not you have one on one interaction with
males because of the way that they will behave That
I think is the relatable part of this. I think
that there is not a woman out there who hasn't
meeted their behavior for fear of how someone else is
going to interpret it.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
And in particular a guy.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Whatever you feel comfortable with is what you can do
because in this situation, one, you're single, so you're not
doing the wrong thing by anyone in your part like
any you know, a partner, anyone else. You don't have
anybody else putting limitations on you in terms of what
you can and can't do. And you know you said
that maybe it's affecting your friendships and that you could
be closer friends with these people. You absolutely probably could
be closer friends with these people. Is it a negatively
(18:06):
impacting your life that you aren't though, or is it
kind of just better to safeguard and keep that separation
between work and private life.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
It also depends what else is going on and what
else your relationships involves with these colleagues. Do you text
all the time? Do you email like other outside connections,
so like on the weekend, is it normal for you
to be like, Hey, how's your weekend been? Like are
you actually kind of friendly outside of work? Because I
think all of these things matter. But whilst they say
I don't think there's anything wrong with having relationships with
(18:35):
the opposite sex, there is a line. And if they're
all married, it's going to probably cause more harm than
good for their relationship if their wife thinks that they're
out having dinners all the time, like romantic one on
one dinners while they're away. I'm not saying that you're
doing the wrong thing, but sometimes I think you have
to ask yourself if something worth it put yourself in
their position. Okay, if if I was at home with
(18:57):
the baby, and my husband was going away with the
hot chick for dinner, how would I feel? And I
think it's not about saying that you're doing the right
or the wrong thing. It's just everyone's relationship is different
and everyone's situation is different, and I just wonder if
it is worth bringing that into your life again. I
think if there's just two of you on a work trip,
there's nothing wrong with it. You go and have dinner,
(19:18):
but you're not staying back at the bar having drinks.
You're not going out till two am. I think what
you're choosing to do and the activities you're choosing to
engage in are what's going to be the.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Issue that's interesting to me because I don't think it's
her responsibility to think about how someone else's wife is
gonna I do.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I don't. I think it's the husband's responsibility.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Like, for example, if Matt was away and he was
working on a job and he had a female producer
and they went and got dinner together, firstly I wouldn't care,
But I don't think it's her responsibility to think, oh
I am or I'm not gonna go for dinner with
Matt because he has a wife It's different if obviously
there's something the fairy is going on, but if she's like,
we're totally just friends, I have no interest in this
(19:59):
man and we're having.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
A platonic dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I don't think that it's her responsibility to put a
limitation on it based on the wife. I think it's
her responsibility to put a limitation on it based on
the man's behavior and the part about this that I hate.
And I would ask you the question, Britt, how many
times have you been out with a friend who is
a guy who you have zero interest in?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Nothing like it's it's.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Someone who's come through work or through some other way
that you've met him, and he has interpreted the two
of you being friends as wanting more. He has thought
that maybe hanging out might eventuate into something. He's tried
to make a move. I would say, unfortunately, it's happened
loads with me where my friends quote unquote turned out
that they weren't actually my friends and they wanted something
more than that.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
It actually hasn't happened that much to me. It's probably
happened one time.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Surprising.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, but I disagree with you, Laura. I think it
is absolutely your responsibility to know the situation that you're
putting yourself in, Like you need to know if it's
going to be inappropriate or not. You need to know
what And I believe that because at the end of
the day, there is a high chance that it's nothing.
But there is a big chance that that person that's
inviting you to dinner, the work colleague might be being like, oh,
(21:10):
maybe let me see if there's something there. You know, well,
while the cat's away, what's that The mouse will play?
The mouse will play. And I'm not saying that's right,
but I do think it's your responsibility. It's not your
like if he's trying to cheat and do the wrong thing.
Worst case he's trying to cheat. Of course, that has
nothing to do with you if you did accept a
dinner invitation. But it's still your responsibility to know the
(21:30):
situations that you're putting yourself in. And I think if
you get that gut feeling of I don't think this
is going to end, well, I would listen to that.
And we say that all the time, and you did
say that you get those gut feelings sometimes you're like,
sometimes I don't think it's right. Then I think that
listen to that.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Can I just add it's something that I think really
sucks about this situation, and I've actually been in this
situation specifically myself. What really sucks is that when you're
in a position, especially working in sport and that kind
of thing, networking is really important and a lot of
the time the jobs that you get is you know,
not what you know. So if you're in a situation
and you have the ability to get to know someone
(22:06):
within your work or within maybe a different sports or organization,
or you have the ability to go for dinner with
them while you're away, and you can't take it because
you're too worried about what people are going to say
about that interaction. Really, that really sucks because it's very gendered.
It would only happen because you're a young woman working
in sport and you're hot.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Like, I don't think it has anything to do with
sport cash, I think this is any industry.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
That's what I mean though, Like, it really sucks that
as the single woman in this situation, you have to
potentially limit your ability to network and create stronger connections
within your work environment because you're too worried about what
either the partners of the people that you're either going
to say, or the people that you work with, or
you know, people talk. They love to gossip about this
(22:48):
kind of shit. They like to make up that things
are happening when they're not because they enjoy the rumors.
It sucks that you don't have the ability to form
those deeper relationships on a personal level that could impact
your career in a positive way.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
But do you need to have a romantic dinner away?
And I say romantic because if it's one on one,
do you need to go and have a dinner away
to have that connection and that networking with a colleague?
I don't think you do.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
I have been in situations where I was working away
in radio, quite a few of these, actually, and quite
a few times they went for dinner with the content
director because they may have been also away because they
looked after multiple radio networks, and we would go and
grab a bite. And at the time I didn't really
think anything of it. And it wasn't until years and
years later that I had been out with a different
(23:30):
colleague and rumors started to start about our interactions back
at our workplace, and I was like, hang on a second,
I've been doing this for a long time, and those
dinners absolutely made my connection with that content director better. Yeah,
you know, we got to know each other and he
got to know what I was about, He got to
know what my career ambitions were. And I have no
idea whether people were talking about whether we could have
(23:51):
been potentially interacting in an inappropriate way.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I do agree with that, and I think it's really
challenging because, like, even as you said, like a romantic dinner,
you're putting your perception on that just because it's a
one on one, right, So if two people have gone
out as work colleagues to go and do something outside
of work, whether it's a lunch or it's a dinner,
and obviously it depends on the situation, et cetera, et cetera,
But there is a very big difference between something being
(24:15):
like entirely platonic and having like an outside of work
meet up. And I guess that's where the big question is.
It is unfortunate that as a woman you have to
have your guard up because it is very possible that
that other person will interpret the way in which you
are behaving as something that you do not intend, and
that is just it's very biased, and it's very gendered,
(24:37):
and it's incredibly unfair.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But this is my whole point. This is why you
have to take responsibility for the situation you're putting yourself in.
I'm not saying it's right, but exactly what Keisha just said.
You cannot have any control over what anyone else thinks
of you, or thinks of the situation, or talks about
that situation. It sucks and it's unfortunate, but that's a
byproduct of putting yourself in a situation where you're with
(24:59):
some one on one. It could have been the most.
You could have been talking about dogshit the entire night.
You could have been sitting there saying to each other,
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
A hundred times.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
If any other that would. But if any other one
else walks past, they don't see that. They say two
people that are alone away on a weekend talking to
each other. And it sucks, and it's not your fault,
and you haven't done anything wrong necessarily, but you can't
control other people's bias or other people's opinions of you.
It's just a part of the world we live in.
So I just think you need to take these things
(25:30):
into consideration when you're making the decision where are you,
who are you with? Are there any other circumstances that
may lead to people thinking other things? And then make
your decision. Do you think that they're actually hitting on you?
Do you think there's something more there? Do you think
they've asked you because they think I'm going to shoot
my shot? Then don't put yourself in the situation.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yeah, And I also think it depends on who the
person is and how do they interact with other people
in the office. For example, there are and I think
about it from like a radio perspective, right, there are
men who work in the radio offers who I would
have no issue going for dinner with, Like I not
one iota of me would be like, oh, Matt would
find that an appropriate.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
You guys would find that weird.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Not a single person there are people in the office
who if I was like, I'm just going to.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Bomp out for dinner with X y Z, You'd be like,
what the fuck is why?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah, you'd be like you bang in.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Like I definitely think that there are different people who
would create more of a perception around that. But yeah,
I mean, ultimately, and I know I've said it a
few times, and I'll come back to it one last time.
This is something that only women need to worry about,
I think, because I don't think it is very well.
You know, maybe it might happen from time to time,
but this fear that someone else is going to get
(26:38):
the wrong impression around something that is completely platonic and
is centered around work is such a shit situation to
be it.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I don't think it's just women. I think men would
equally get that. If the man and a woman are
having dinner, and people will pass and they know the
man from a distance, they look in through the window,
they know him, they know he's got a wife, They're
immediately going to think he's doing thisly. I don't think
that's just women face more gender bias one hundred percent
and probably more.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Overt advances potentially.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Well yeah, but even like the discrimination and the rumors
would swirl in a more derogatory way, like oh if
she was trying to break up the family, as opposed
to him being like oh, your slide dog.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
But I think if anyone looked in there, it would
be equal that the man and the woman are possibly
doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Well, you know what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
It's that as a female, I think that there are
more social ramifications within a workplace.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
If those were rumors circulate on.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
That's what I try and find words for, and I
couldn't get it out exactly.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
I think that a guide doesn't stand as much reputation
damage as what a female does, and that is probably
the biggest type of damage that can be done to
a woman, is reputational damage.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Yeah, all right, question number two.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
My grandma passed away. She had been estrange from my
parents and siblings and all other family members for over
fifteen years. During those fifteen years, I had a close
relationship with her. She made me her enduring power of attorney,
which basically means her decision maker, also so the director
of her will. My parents and siblings have had hate
(28:04):
and bitterness towards her and completely wiped her, but I
never experienced anything that they did, so my relationship with
my grandma was never affected. Now, my grandma has left
me with everything, including money. Do I respect her wishes
and not give any of the family money or belongings
or do I divide it because they now want it?
(28:26):
And said that they deserve it.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Death and money are two things that can absolutely rip
a family apart, and I think there is no one
listening to this. Maybe you will be the chosen child,
but very few people listening to this will not have
a story from their family tree where money and inheritance
ruined a relationship somewhere in their family tree. I think
(28:51):
it is pretty relevant and it is pretty prolific. I
think that this is such a hard one to answer,
and the reason for that is is because my initial
response is no, they had no relationship with your grandmother
for fifteen years. You had obviously an incredibly close relationship.
They don't deserve anything. That's a really simple way of
(29:12):
answering this question. I think a more complex way of
answering this question is to ask what is their grievance
with your grandmother? And the reason why I say that
is because you, for example, maybe the youngest grandchild, You
may not have experienced the abuse, the treatment, the mistreatment
that they experienced, and therefore relationship with your grandma may
(29:33):
be very, very different. There may be some animosity that you,
even though you know what their grievances are, that you
maintained a relationship with her when everyone else had to
cut her off basically, and so I would question whether
keeping all of this inheritance is worth damaging your relationship
with your existing family who you also love and want
(29:54):
to be in contact with. And I say this because
I have a little bit of skin in the game
with this when it comes to inheritance by any means,
but from having a different relationship with someone. My example
is so my stepdad, my first stepdad, who is my
brother's dad, not Neil, who I've talked about. It also
confusing for everyone, but my first stepdad, he was very,
(30:14):
very abusive, and he was a heroin addict. He was
in our life for nine years. And the best thing
that came out of that nine years was the fact
that I had my little brother, Matt, who is quite
a bit younger than me, but he when my brother
was born, that's when his father left. So my brother
growing up never had a relationship with his dad. And
it wasn't until Matt was Matt's my brother's name, until
(30:35):
he was more of an adult, that he became aware
of all the stories around what Alex did and the
reason why he wasn't a part of the family. And
so it was really challenging for me when Matt as
an adult, wanted to have some relationship with him because
I felt this level of betrayal.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I was like, well, you know all of these things.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
You know how he treated me, you know how he
treated your sister, you know how he treated mum.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Why would you want to know this man?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And I understand that, like, relationships are complex and there's
many reasons why people want the things that they want
from sense of identity and everything else. So I question,
did your family have a very unique relationship with your grandma?
Was there a reason why they cut her off? And
so is this inheritance money? Just feeling like this really
dirty wedge in your relationship? That would be my big question,
(31:24):
And without those answers, it's really really hard to answer this.
But what I would think is that if you do
choose to keep all of this money and all of
this inheritance and there is a really great reason as
to why they had to cut her out of their
relationship in the first place, you will damage your relationship
with your now existing family and what's more important to you.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
It's so hard that you've been putting this situation. It's
fucking terrible, so hard because nothing affects your grandma now, right,
she's dead, so she's done it. You're going to totally
You're the one that has to deal with ramifications. Do
I think that your grandma is going to know what
you do? Personally? I don't believe that. I don't believe
that she's up there watching your decision. So whatever you do,
I don't think you need to It doesn't need to
(32:05):
be laden with guilt. There has to have been something
that went down off the back of what you're saying, Laura,
because otherwise an entire family doesn't turn them back on someone.
But you don't know which way it went. You don't
know if the grandma has done something that's upsetting to
the family, or that's a family run up, something upsetting
that the grandma's wanted to pull away. You don't know
which way it is. I think i'd be getting to
the bottom of that. But at the end of the day,
(32:26):
this decision won't affect your grandma, but it will affect
you for the rest of your life, like your connection
with every one of your family members. Do I think
it's worth the repercussions if you keep it all? I'm
just trying to think of my family. No, I don't
think it is, because like you only get well not everyone.
I was gonna say, you want to get one family,
but that's not true.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You have luwiul families.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Laura is a prime example.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
But like that's your family, right.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
So if something happens now and money is so divisive,
if you keep every part of that, your family seems
like they're going to.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Hold a really big grudge.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I don't know if you can in a way where
maybe you keep one asset to yourself, whether that is
like some sort of property or whatever she's left. Maybe
you can keep one aspect and then you divide all
the rest, or you divide the cash or I don't
know if there's a way you can work around that.
Maybe that's like the happy medium. Like you're like, look,
grandma was adamant, but I'm still gonna give it to
you anyway.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Like Grandma was.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Adamant, she was like, do not let my family touch
my money. Yeah, but i'd beget to the bottom of it.
I don't think it's worth keeping the whole thing. You
might have money, but you will be unhappy with the
fact that you've lost that relationship with your family.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I honestly there is no way of navigating this that
is easy. Money inheritance family are so so challenging, and
that is why you have to have these conversations with
people when they're alive, like it is. It is a
horrible place that you have been put in that you
are responsible to pass down your grandma's wishes with the
rest of your family because nobody had this conversation when
(33:52):
she was still alive, like that is a hideous place
to be. And I do think regardless of the relationship, right, like,
regardless of how broken down it was, regardless of who
did what, if you have not been a part of
someone's life for fifteen years, you do not have the
right to ask for anything. And even if that's because
that person is done wrong by you and there is
hatred there. And I guess that that's where this is
(34:16):
so challenging for you to reconcile, because you're like, well,
they made the decision regardless of the situation, they made
the decision to leave, and I stayed and dedicated my
life to my grandma. Did you do that because you
wanted this inheritance or is the inheritance just a byproduct
of it?
Speaker 3 (34:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
There's so many ways that you can split this, but
I think you've got to make decisions for yourself and
also for your long term and what's going to be
the best thing for you in terms of financially but
also in terms of how you're going to maintain relationships
with your family.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Also, wills don't really mean anything. The family can just
go and challenge that anyway and say, look where the
family A'm and actually the daughter, I am the son
she was in her right state of mind when she
did the will. There are so many ways to challenge
a will, and you definitely don't want to have go
down that track as well. Sounds like your family probably
would go down that track because they want to. So
I think this one you might have to say sorry, Nan,
(35:08):
and then do what's best for you now.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Oh god, I says I Reckon.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
We will get so many messages from people who have
had tricky cat and situations with their families because it
is so fucking common.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
As we said, okay, I think this is the last question.
I have a four year old daughter that is obsessed
with makeup and clothes. We don't mind the clothes part.
She loves dresses and tutuos and wears one every day,
even to bedute. But I'm a little worried that she
loves makeup too much. She sees me put on makeup
for work every day, and I explain that everyone is
beautiful without makeup, and sometimes we just wear it to
(35:42):
look fancy. She now wants to look fancy for daycare
every day. For all she wants from Santa this year
is a big makeup kit. I suppose. My questions are,
do you think it's okay to get a four year
old a big makeup kit for Christmas? And is her
obsession with makeup at four years old worrying? Is it
okay considering she is very young and we are very
(36:02):
careful with our messaging around not needing makeup to look beautiful.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I think it's more annoying that if you get your
kid makeup that's going to be one hundred percent in
your carpet. And I know this from experience.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
On the walls that makeup.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Four year olds cannot do their fucking makeup, and that
makeup will be embedded in your rug.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
That's where it's gonna be.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I recommend not doing it, not from like an altruistic
Arm'm gonna be the best mum ever. Like you know,
my child's gonna grow up thinking they're beautiful and everyone's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
No, it's annoying, and you will have it in your carpet.
Take out from me.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Pretend they have floorboards. Should she get her four year
old makeup?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
We got Marley and lawa makeup because they loved it,
like they absolutely love it, and we try and treat
it like it's a creative thing. Like Lola will go
into the bathroom and she puts pink eyeshadow on most
days and then off she tries.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Before daycare.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Fire doesn't matter where we're going. But I think this
is an interesting one to unpack.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
And where I find it interesting is you've said the
exact same thing I say to my girls. You said
she sees me put on makeup for work every day,
and I explained to her that everyone is beautiful without makeup.
Sometimes we wear it to look fancy. Absolutely, you are
not convincing anyone though. That's the problem, right, And I
realized this myself. I am telling Mary, you're so beautiful
(37:13):
without makeup, but mmy needs to put it on because
I look tired. It's really conflicting messaging for kids because
kids want to emulate what we do as adults, and
if we're putting on makeup every day and that's what
they see that we're doing, they want to do it too.
I don't have a perfect answer for this, because I'm
not a perfect mum, and I also want to wear
makeup makes me feel good about myself. It covers the
(37:33):
things that I look at myself in the mirror and
think are imperfections. But it's really hard to share that
messaging around. You don't need it to look beautiful, but mummy,
does you know, like, how does that work?
Speaker 3 (37:45):
I think it's fine.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I think kids love to explore that kind of thing.
It's like paint. They don't look at it like I
can't go to daycare without my face on. That's not
what they're thinking. It's creative. It's creative, it's art. It's
like I remember growing up with it. I loved makeup.
I loved putting it on. I used to sherry and
I used to sit my dad down and we used
to do my dad's makeup, Like we used to put
hairbands in his hair, and he would just let us
(38:07):
do it. Because it wasn't about putting on a woman
to look different or better. It was just fun and creative,
and you like the look of it before and after, like,
oh my god, look how funny dad looks.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Whether you do it at home or not, it's everywhere now.
So they're going to see it. They're going to see
it on TV, they're going to see it when they
go to school. They're going to see every other parent,
every other TikTok, social media, like this idea of makeup
and beauty and before and afters, it is everywhere. I
think as long as you're messaging at home is like
I just choose to do this sometimes and sometimes I
(38:37):
don't do this. Like, as long as you're not putting
on every second of the day and you still and
like you don't, Laura, you always don't have makeup on.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
You nailed it, Britt you nailed it in.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I think we as adults, as parents, we overcomplicate things
for kids. Kids do not understand that we are putting
on makeup to fix imperfections. They think we're doing it
to be creative as well.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Well.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
They think we're doing it as part of our morning routine.
My kids don't know that I put on vitamin sea
cream because I'm trying to get rid of malasma. They
don't know there's no Mummy puts on creams like. They
don't know the reasons why. And I think that we
can shield them from that for a really long time.
And that's kind of something that I realized about how
I was speaking to my girls about it, because I
would say, like, Molly, you don't need makeup because you're
(39:20):
so beautiful, Like you're so beautiful without it. She didn't
think she wasn't beautiful without it, And now she winds
now why you said it, And now she says, Mummy,
I need makeup because I want to be beautiful, And
I'm like, oh, I conditioned you to think that I'm
the one who planted that seed. Had I talked about
makeup as a way of it being creative, as it
being fun, is it being playful, it would have had.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
A different meaning to her.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
And so I kind of learned that lesson with her,
and I'm trying to retrain it with Lola, because we
never I never speak about makeup or about anything to
do with cosmetics, to do with beauty. Now I just
talk about it in terms of like, I like the
feel of it. I like how it feels on mummy.
So Molly asks, why do I shave my under arms?
Speaker 4 (39:58):
And I say because they get spiky for mummy and
it's uncomfy for mummy.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Well, I think I never thought about it.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, I think it's okay to also just say, like,
this is something that adults do. Like, I think it's
okay to say that there's kid things and there's adult things,
like kids play at the park and adults don't. Adults
put makeup on and kids don't. Like, I think it's
okay to say, like, this is something that just isn't
is an adult thing. When I have a problem with
it is when it gets into the beauty pageants and
when there are kids that are like dressed the nines
(40:24):
with fake lashes, fake tans, lipsticks, and they're parading around,
Like I think that's different because that is conditioning them
that this is a beauty pageant. You need this to enter,
to be beautiful, to win. But you never do Fizzy
as a kid. No, I hated Fizzy as a kid.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I never did Fizzy either, But you always knew the
Fizzy kid because they would come in looking a bit
orange because they've been spray painted from the eyeballs to
the toes.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
And hairs like ripped back in the buns.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Still fizzy, what a weird I mean, I don't know
if it's still around.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I don't know it's around. It's huge.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
So and obviously if your kids do fizzy, I'm not
coming for you, but like, it's an odd thing that
you need to fake tan your child so that they
can do fizzy.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
But I think we're just going back again to what
we said. But I just do think that we overcomplicate
things for kids. I think sometimes you just have to
let kids be kids. And at the end of the day,
they're putting on glitter eyeshadow because it's glitter, not because
they think it makes their eyes have a cat eye
effect or makes them blue up or makes them rounder
like they just fucking like the glitter.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
But also this is.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
As a parent, you often feel like you can't do
anything right. And I think we are such a generation
of parents who are so highly aware of the many
ways in which we can fuck up our kids, right,
Matt and I say it all the time, where I
was like, oh God, how are we going to mess
our children up? Like we'll be paying for their therapy
one day. But we are really really conscious of it
as a generation of parents, and I think sometimes we overcorrect.
(41:44):
We're like holding space for their feelings and we're trying
to mediate in a way that is very thoughtful and
considerate and calm, and it's a lot of pressure. It's
a lot of pressure to be like, Okay, well my
child wants to use makeup, so what's the right to
you so that I don't mess her up? And then
it's like, I don't ever think my parents had to
(42:05):
think about it that much like we just did. And also,
I'm not saying that that's the better way either, but
I think there's a lot of ways in which you
can try and navigate parenting and whether you're doing it
the right way or the wrong way.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
But I was watching something online just yesterday and I
was like, come on, and it was this video of
these parents being like my husband and I made a
conscious decision to never interrupt our child when they're trying
to figure something out, and it was their kids the time.
That's my point. They showed this kid trying Its like
she's too right, She's trying to do the button up
on her cardigan twenty minutes. They sat there and watched
(42:37):
her like she's and then she smiled at the end
because she did it. Then they were like, this is
how she learns. And I'm like, bitch, gotta get to work,
Like there's no way that people can parent in that way.
And I understand it's beautiful and wholesome, but this comparison
culture constantly makes other parents feel like shit because they
dress their kid because they don't have time to let
the kid figure out how to do button up.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
It's very romanticized parents.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
There's this other I'll see if I can find it,
but it was so to me recently. It was a
satirical real and this mom had created it and she
was like millennial parenting. And she she's running down the
grocery aisle and.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
She's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Are your
emotions big? How big are they? Won to stop me
when your emotions? And she's like, three, oh, these are
big emotions. Five, six, I'm gonna hold space for you.
I'm holding space. Talk to me about how you're feeling.
Get in the trolley and getting the car and then
she's like, whoa, I can see we're gonna sit here
and we're gonna breathe.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
We're gonna breathe through it.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Counter three with Mammy one two three, And it was
really funny because obviously, like that's a very extreme version
of it, but it ends with her being like, I'm
just gonna ground you and mummy, mommy, and you're gonna
ground each other. And then it's like a long shot
of the husband holding the mum in an embrace and
the mom holding the baby and them all just swaying,
and I was like, it's true. I don't obviously it
(43:52):
is not that far in the future, but like I
do think that sometimes we are trying so hard to
be the perfect version of a pair so that we
don't mess our children up because we're also fearful of
doing it. And I think ninety nine point nine percent
of us are doing a really, really good job. And
if your kid wants to play with makeup as a
four year old, let them be creative, let them be expressive.
(44:13):
They might end up being an incredible makeup artist one day,
or someone who works in creative arts because they've had
the opportunity to explore and discover textures and discover colors
and make a mess and do all the things that
attack tile that we were able to do as kids.
I don't think it has to be about beauty, and
don't put adult labels onto something that a child is
(44:33):
just wanting to enjoy if it's harmless.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
The last and only thing I want to say to
be conscious of when I say, like, it's easy, just
go let them play, it's your terminology once they've put
the makeup on, instead of saying, look how beautiful you look?
You look like, oh that looks awesome, Like look how
fun that is? Like that's all you need to say,
instead of like, oh my god, look how beautiful you look?
Now like you look cute, you look wonderful. Because if
people are only getting kids, are only getting that kind
(44:57):
of terminology once they've put the makeup on, that's what
they going to attach that to. Just let them live,
all rights. That's it from us. Keep your questions coming
into life, Uncut podcast, Instagram, just put ask uncut. You
can also email them as well. We absolutely love getting
them and you're accidentally unfiltered too. Don't forget. We've got
YouTube now, which is very fun to watch. We've got
the episodes on there. We've got short clips on there.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
You can see me trying to stuff banana bread into
my mouth in between conversations, as I have.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Done on that, and I have been looking at it
the whole time. I cannot wait.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
I know it's cold now I don't care. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Don't forget to you, mum, te dadte dot tee. Friends
and share the love because we love love
Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode a Life Uncut.
I'm Brittany, I'm Laura, and it is therapy Thursday. Ask
gun Cut where you're writing your deepest, darkest burning questions
and we answer them. We've got a couple of bangers,
but before that, I have my own question for you.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Is it deep, dark and burning? You can get cream
for that?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Well, it's pretty funny, but it sort of relates back
to one of your stories a little while ago, Laura,
when you were talking about the trade that came to
your house and took a dump in a toilet.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Did I give you an update on him? Oh? W
wa wa wa.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
We were okay. This happened a couple of years back.
When I used to live in brits now House. We
used to have this person who came and they would
do maintenance on the property. And this one day he
was running super late and it was a Saturday morning,
and then he arrived and he asked if he could
use the toilet, and he did the world's stinkiest shit
in the toilet. It was so unbelievably bad, and it
(01:17):
became evident to me that he'd obviously been out drinking
the night before and came and.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Okay, we don't need to know what he ate, but okay, no,
he came and did his grog bog in god bathroom.
The update on that is that he was sent the
episode by lots of people and then he yelled at
Matt on the phone.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
You've updated us with that. Yeah, no, we already know that.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Okay, sorry, can.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
You name him?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Nah? But it's his fault. Yeah, be accountable, don't.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Grogogg and people's lose. And I even tried to make
him seem more obscure. I changed the trade and everything.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Okay, Well, is this okay or is this too far?
So my sister Sherry is still living over in Scotland,
so this happened to just recently happened to her. So
her and her husband Jay, they live in an apartment
in Edinburgh, and they had some work done, right, they
had someone come and fix some of the windows or
whatever else.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
But Sheridon had been sick for a little.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
While, like just really struggling to recover from a bit
of a chest infection in the flu. And because she's
pregnant Slash had a baby, there's not a lot of
drugs she can take. So she went to old school.
She got this like big cart and of orange juice,
and she was just consuming all the goodness with food.
That's it. And see that's how she's trying to get better. Yeah,
she knew that she had just gone and bought this
like two liter bottle of orange juice and she went
(02:32):
to get it to have a drink and it was
not there. And she only lives she doesn't share with anyone.
She's just her and Jay, and Jay's brother lives downstairs.
So she went back out to Jay like.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Raging, like hormone filled sick, wanted juice, and she's like,
I cannot believe you drunk my juice. She's like, you know,
I am here struggling to stay alive, and you've you've had,
You've drunk the one thing that I can consume, the
only thing that brings me happiness and joy.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Trying to make breast milk, goddamn it, and He was like,
what why would I do that? And she's like, well,
I don't know, you tell me. Anyway, They had this argument.
He's like, babe, I promise you I didn't drink the juice,
and she's like, well, who would have drunk it? Then's brother,
Jay's brother, so she was on a rage. She went
and asked Day's brother and Jay's brother. I haven't even
been upstairs, been at work, and she's like, one of
you motherfuckers is lying to me, like, don't gaslight me.
(03:21):
I know I bought the juice. Anyway, they were like
who else could it have been? And then they remembered
that they had a trady. You can't drink a liter
of juice, So Sheridan was like, surely not. So anyway,
they have a door bell camera.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I've got the photo.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
They've got a screenshot of the trade leaving with the
whole bottle of juice.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Under his shoulder.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He just he didn't just drink it. He just went
to the fridge, took the juice and he's leaving the
house with this bottle of juice. I've got the photo.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
What did she do?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
What are you gonna do? Calling back and say give
me the juice.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Surely you text him and be like, dude, you just
took a full liter of juice.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I don't know what is the etiquec. Surely like you're
allowed to go and get a drink as a trade,
but you're not allowed to just go do your shopping
out of their fridge.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
I am absolutely I've got to shook it. I wouldn't
make this clear because I've seen the photo, and when
Britt told me this story, I thought it was like.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Some small little bottle of juice. I think single use.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
He's literally got the cart and he had to wrap
his arm around it, that's how big it is. So
he's carrying all this stuff out. He's got his entire
elbow engulfing the juice.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
So wait, wait, wait, is this a one off guy
that she they've just called in to do one maintenance?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Does he work for a company or is.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
He's not coming back? I know that much.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It was the end of fuck that she needs to
contact the company and put it a complaint and send
the photo of the juice for what.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
What's the purpose? Like, what are they gotta refund them?
Like four pounds?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I know how I felt when someone ate my lactation cookies.
How that is outrageous.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
He's got the whole bottle.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
He's just leaving.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's at the front door. He's got his shoes, putting
his shoes on, looking out the window at the sun
with his bottle of juice.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
He's had a great day, probably looking out to the
other neighbors as to walk groceries again.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
The window on his way. Sharon zoomed in a circle.
It like I couldn't see it. It's so look, she goes,
here's the evidence. She's like, what do I do it?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
I think you contact the company and just say, hey,
just wanted to let you know, have a chat to
your workers.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
It's so fun. But I also think you.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Have to explain why.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Like, it's very if you are postpartum, that is a
very different phase of life to be stealing food from.
Do like that matter, though, yes does. Postpartum is ten
times worse.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But like, you shouldn't be stealing juice regularly anyway, even
if you don't have a baby. Even if someone came
to my house. I don't have a baby, I'm not pregnant,
and I would be distraught if I got home knowing
that you had something in there like that you were
looking forward to and then you realized the trady just
legged it out of the house.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I want to know if you guys, whoever's listening to this,
there a few of you I know, have you ever
had a trady do something that they shouldn't do in
your home?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Did they steal something?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean, we can tell more poose stories if you've
really feel that inclined, but.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Like, what did the trade do?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
What did the trady do?
Speaker 4 (06:10):
And also my whole family of trading is I don't
I don't shoo it on trades.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
They're amazing, but there's like these stories to me are hilarious.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
My brother's a builder and he has a lot of
people who works for him. I reckon he'd fire someone
for this or could be like, you can't just go
into people's twitches and help yourself. Also, nothing like I said,
nothing against trades either. They're currently renovating my house.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Don't not do that.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
But I want to know what did you do? Like
do you just help yourself to stuff?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Like I'm curious about the level you'd be okay with
Would you have been okay if he had have taken
the juice and poured himself a glass yes, you reckon,
that's play on yeap, because if you're thirsty, maybe his
blood sugar's low.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Like if it's someone in my house working for me,
if I say, help yourself to a drink, because that's
what I would say when I drink. I have a gardener,
And when he comes, I'm like, do you want to drink?
And if you need something, to get something, because I'm like,
you're parched, you're working hard, like I'm not going to
make them starve. But if a trady went and just
like helped himself to my leftover nacho's and started like
(07:04):
eating out of my fridge and packing his bag with
my groceries.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Like he makes himself a little lunch bag, you know
what he's gonna say though, right, you know he's gonna
say there wasn't much left in it.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
It was only enough for a glass, so he took
it on the go.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I reckon.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
The best defense would be I'm so sorry. Usually I
take a drink with me to the site, and I
just got confused that day and I thought.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
It was mine. Sherry doesn't have the time or the energy.
She's not following up the OJ thief like that's dead.
I just thought it was funny, and I'm like, how
much is too much?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
No? I need I need a follow up. She needs
to follow up. I will follow up for her. Sherry,
send me the details of the company. I will send
the photo on and the email. I love writing an
angry email. Something you don't know about me, Guys. I
love I'm an angry letter. We know. Nah, I'm just like,
I'm an enthusiastic reviewer, but I'm also an enthusiastic positive reviewer.
(07:52):
Can I tell you the funniest that this is? Years
and years ago, I used to have a breakfast show
down in Victoria. Shout out to anyone in Bendigo. We
used to have a segment. We used to have a
segment because we basically we would speak about how whenever
people complain to places, they tend to get things for free.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Right if you like I had.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
The worst food here, They're like, oh, please let us
you know, reimburse you or whatever you get gifted if
you complain. We wanted to test whether you could do
the opposite and still get the free stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
So we used to.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Write to companies and be like, I am so in
love with your product, like whatever it would be the
only people who ever wrote back and sent us a
huge box of stuff was Cobs Popcorn. Good on Cobs,
good on your shout out to Cobs.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
But also, they're not going to send you free stuff. Cobs.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
We're the biggest, one of the biggest platforms in Australia.
Send us for spe I.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Actually you don't have sweet and sours divine.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Yeah, And now they're probably gonna have to change that
policy because too many people are going to write to
them and tell them that they love their product.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
They go unpacked.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Let's go into our vibes.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
My vibe for the week is a laundry apron Okay,
super high brown, go hit us.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So, okay, picture this. I don't want to pitch your
naked with an laundry.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
You wear your normal clothes. You put on a thing
over the top of it. I got serve this online
and I was like, that is genius. You know, annoying
it is to like carry a washing basket to and
from You're no longer need to do that. You're just
gonna put this apron on and it's got like a
big pregnant belly sack that you load all of the
washing into so you wear your washing kangaroo. That is
actually brilliant.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
It's a kangaroo sack.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
You can get them on Amazon. They're ten barks and
you can then just wear your washing. The problem is, though,
if you're real lazy, you'll just wear it for a week,
Like I'm someone who never puts washing away. So you
can put it into your pouch.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
That's where Lola is. Lola's just in the pouch. That's
brilliant because I always go especial when you're geting stuff
out of the dryer and you try and pick a
whole basket up in your arms. I don't put it
in a basket and I try and carry it all
the socks and undeys drop all over the house.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
It's like how you try and do like every single
grocery bag in one go. I try and do the
same with washing, but I usually I never know where
the basket is.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Kids move. It's upstairs, downstairs. So this is amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Just put on your apron, put your clothes in your apron,
and off. If you go like a kangaroo to hang
out your washing, put your clothes in.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Off you go.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
I'm gonna put a link in the show notes. It's
very stupid, but I think if you get on board,
this could be the movement we're gonna all wear.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I am about it.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I think that's Laura was like, I've got the dumbest vibe.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I think that's actually.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
A really great vibe.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
We're all gonna be hopping to the clothesline.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I'm gonna show you look at it. It's pink too,
it's cute, so fatch show me. Oh that is so ugly.
That's actually hideous, practical kidius.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
You can like really tradwife it art. This is like
ultimate tradwife style.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Not that I'm endorsing tradwives, but like, look at that
trad husband.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Matt looks so good in this.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Okay, all right, I'm gonna go to my vibe. My
vibe this week probably isn't going to come as a
surprise to anyone. Half of you have probably watched it.
It's number one on Netflix. It's nobody wants this.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I haven't seen it yet.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
Oh it's great. It's the new rom com.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I absolutely loved it. It's Adam Brody. Do you remember
Adam Brody from the OC?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Like I just to go so what everyone is saying
now and I couldn't agree more. Everyone is just saying,
how have we gone twenty years without having Adam Broidy
as a lead in a rom com? Because he's brilliant,
Like the chemistry he's acting, he's so wholesome. His character
is amazing as well. But long story short, it's about
a rabbi who is in his thirties and he's single,
(11:18):
and it's about this woman who you will love, Laura,
because she's a podcast host. Her and sister have a
podcast host is a sex podcast, and she's a bit
chaotic and she's got all these red flags and she
can't find the person and she's self sabotages and all
this standard stuff. And it's just a rom com about
them trying to make two different lives work. And I
just loved it, Probably the first I've watched in a
(11:40):
while that actually highlights what a healthy relationship actually should
be because it's not problematic. There's not really any jeopardy
like you would think there's. The Only jeopardy is the
difference in their lifestyles. But his character is beautiful and
wholesome and loving and caring, and he's there for her,
and that is my vibe. If you haven't seen it yet,
it is number one on Netflix. Nobody wants this.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
I haven't seen it, and I will watch it this
weekend because it is on my hit list. My vibe
for this week is a book. So it's a novel,
so a fiction book. It's written by Emily Henry, and
this is it's not a hot take. The book came
out in twenty twenty. But the reason that I think
it's quite of the moment, I suppose is because Emily
Henry has written quite a lot of romance based novels
(12:24):
and they've announced that there are going to be five
of those novels adapted into films. So the first one,
it's actually not this one. The first one that they're
going to do the first of five is People We
Met on Vacation, which is one of her other novels.
And I saw this on Jamila Jamil's Instagram because she
has been cast in the film adaptation of it. So
(12:45):
anyway back to Beach. Read what I liked about this.
This is the synopsis. It's a romance writer who no
longer believes in love and a literary writer stuck in
a rut engage in a summer long challenge that may
just upend everything they believe about Happily ever afters What
I liked about this, and again, I'm an audiobook listener,
not so much a reader.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
It was so easy to consume. There were not any
like massive twists.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
This is just for someone who do you ever get
into that move where you like, I'd really like to
read again, or I'd really like to listen to a novel,
But I don't want something that's going to be super
heavy or it's going to take up too much mental space.
This is just a real genre. Is it light and fluffy?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
There's romance? Okay, yeah, so it's not.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
I wouldn't say it's light and fluffy. It's more just
like a soft, easy to read romance.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah about two characters that it's such a pivot for
your kish because we know you like you're smart. Yeah,
I don't say that as a joke if you've listened
to the podcast cause you're like smutty books.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, there's no smart in this one.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
There are, like I would say, there are sex scenes,
but they're definitely not like hot and steamy, so mate
for love. Yeah, if you would like an easy entry,
nice novel to read, maybe you're going on a holiday,
or you just want something that you can read over
a weekend or so. I consumed this one pretty quickly,
and it was nice and enjoyable, and also I love
the fact that I'm going to be one of those
(14:04):
people who can watch a film and go, oh.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
The book was better, all right?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Question number one, when is it appropriate to meet up
with a male colleague? I am single, I'm attractive, thanks genetics, Yeah,
go girl, I'm female, and I work in sports, which
entails mostly male coworkers. I travel a lot and do
a lot of late nights. My question is when is
or isn't it appropriate to meet up with male coworkers,
(14:30):
particularly one on one outside of work. I try to
err on the side of daytime or group activities. However,
I do feel like I have genuine friendships that sometimes
are hurt because of my fear of an interaction appearing
inappropriate to others because of the male female thing, or
for fear of a coworker I thought was harmless taking
things in an inappropriate direction After a few drinks.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
It has happened before.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Am I overthinking this or are my guidelines for myself
appropriately placed? Worth noting that ninety nine percent of these
men are actually married not.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I mean, if you say it has happened before multiple
times that you've gone out and they've done the wrong thing,
then I would probably not be going out with them.
This is a really tricky question to answer because you
need to understand the dynamics of the specific people that
you're meeting up with. At the end of the day,
I do think that it is fine for male and
female coworkers to coexist and be friends. It depends on
(15:28):
the situation. If you've gone away for our work thing
and there's ten of you, ten staff that have gone away,
but you just go and have dinner with one person,
then I would say that is inappropriate, and it's probably
highly likely it will start some kind of a rumor
or talking. I'm not saying that that's okay and it
shouldn't be like that, but it is. At the end
of the day, two people have sought each other out
(15:48):
for a private dinner when there's ten other people. But
then I think, if there's just two of you that
have gone away for a job, you're in the same hotel,
you know, you're just friends. You know there's nothing there,
and it's like a Hey, you want to grab dinner
together before we hit the hay tonight, so that we're
not both just sitting in the same restaurant on opposite
sides alone. I think that's okay. But at the end
of the day, if you feel like something is going
(16:11):
to be inappropriate, I would be listening to that. So
if you think that someone's partner will be unhappy with that,
or there might be certainly you might be leading this
person on a little bit, if they've been a bit
flirty anything like that, I think it's just a too
hard basket and it's not necessary to bring that into
your life.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Further, I think that it really sucks that this is
something that you have to be so conscious of. And
as women, I know when you say I'm attractive thanks
genetics like it definitely that definitely plays a factor in
this because when you are a hot, single woman and
if you opt in to go for a dinner or
a drink with a guy, I think it is very
(16:48):
easy for someone to misconstrue your niceness, your politeness, your
enthusiasm around conversation as flirting, like it is so easy
for those.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Things to be misconstrued.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
It is so eas easy for someone to and like,
And I don't want to even say it's easy for
them to get the wrong impression as though you were
giving them the impression. I understand why you've been in
this situation, and I think it is so shit that
often some men take kindness, take engaged conversation as flirting,
and they misinterpret those cues.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
That is not on you, that is on them.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And it's very, very unfortunate that it means that you're
in a situation where you have to be wary around
whether or not you have one on one interaction with
males because of the way that they will behave That
I think is the relatable part of this. I think
that there is not a woman out there who hasn't
meeted their behavior for fear of how someone else is
going to interpret it.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
And in particular a guy.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Whatever you feel comfortable with is what you can do
because in this situation, one, you're single, so you're not
doing the wrong thing by anyone in your part like
any you know, a partner, anyone else. You don't have
anybody else putting limitations on you in terms of what
you can and can't do. And you know you said
that maybe it's affecting your friendships and that you could
be closer friends with these people. You absolutely probably could
be closer friends with these people. Is it a negatively
(18:06):
impacting your life that you aren't though, or is it
kind of just better to safeguard and keep that separation
between work and private life.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
It also depends what else is going on and what
else your relationships involves with these colleagues. Do you text
all the time? Do you email like other outside connections,
so like on the weekend, is it normal for you
to be like, Hey, how's your weekend been? Like are
you actually kind of friendly outside of work? Because I
think all of these things matter. But whilst they say
I don't think there's anything wrong with having relationships with
(18:35):
the opposite sex, there is a line. And if they're
all married, it's going to probably cause more harm than
good for their relationship if their wife thinks that they're
out having dinners all the time, like romantic one on
one dinners while they're away. I'm not saying that you're
doing the wrong thing, but sometimes I think you have
to ask yourself if something worth it put yourself in
their position. Okay, if if I was at home with
(18:57):
the baby, and my husband was going away with the
hot chick for dinner, how would I feel? And I
think it's not about saying that you're doing the right
or the wrong thing. It's just everyone's relationship is different
and everyone's situation is different, and I just wonder if
it is worth bringing that into your life again. I
think if there's just two of you on a work trip,
there's nothing wrong with it. You go and have dinner,
(19:18):
but you're not staying back at the bar having drinks.
You're not going out till two am. I think what
you're choosing to do and the activities you're choosing to
engage in are what's going to be the.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Issue that's interesting to me because I don't think it's
her responsibility to think about how someone else's wife is
gonna I do.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I don't. I think it's the husband's responsibility.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Like, for example, if Matt was away and he was
working on a job and he had a female producer
and they went and got dinner together, firstly I wouldn't care,
But I don't think it's her responsibility to think, oh
I am or I'm not gonna go for dinner with
Matt because he has a wife It's different if obviously
there's something the fairy is going on, but if she's like,
we're totally just friends, I have no interest in this
(19:59):
man and we're having.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
A platonic dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I don't think that it's her responsibility to put a
limitation on it based on the wife. I think it's
her responsibility to put a limitation on it based on
the man's behavior and the part about this that I hate.
And I would ask you the question, Britt, how many
times have you been out with a friend who is
a guy who you have zero interest in?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Nothing like it's it's.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Someone who's come through work or through some other way
that you've met him, and he has interpreted the two
of you being friends as wanting more. He has thought
that maybe hanging out might eventuate into something. He's tried
to make a move. I would say, unfortunately, it's happened
loads with me where my friends quote unquote turned out
that they weren't actually my friends and they wanted something
more than that.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
It actually hasn't happened that much to me. It's probably
happened one time.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Surprising.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, but I disagree with you, Laura. I think it
is absolutely your responsibility to know the situation that you're
putting yourself in, Like you need to know if it's
going to be inappropriate or not. You need to know
what And I believe that because at the end of
the day, there is a high chance that it's nothing.
But there is a big chance that that person that's
inviting you to dinner, the work colleague might be being like, oh,
(21:10):
maybe let me see if there's something there. You know, well,
while the cat's away, what's that The mouse will play?
The mouse will play. And I'm not saying that's right,
but I do think it's your responsibility. It's not your
like if he's trying to cheat and do the wrong thing.
Worst case he's trying to cheat. Of course, that has
nothing to do with you if you did accept a
dinner invitation. But it's still your responsibility to know the
(21:30):
situations that you're putting yourself in. And I think if
you get that gut feeling of I don't think this
is going to end, well, I would listen to that.
And we say that all the time, and you did
say that you get those gut feelings sometimes you're like,
sometimes I don't think it's right. Then I think that
listen to that.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Can I just add it's something that I think really
sucks about this situation, and I've actually been in this
situation specifically myself. What really sucks is that when you're
in a position, especially working in sport and that kind
of thing, networking is really important and a lot of
the time the jobs that you get is you know,
not what you know. So if you're in a situation
and you have the ability to get to know someone
(22:06):
within your work or within maybe a different sports or organization,
or you have the ability to go for dinner with
them while you're away, and you can't take it because
you're too worried about what people are going to say
about that interaction. Really, that really sucks because it's very gendered.
It would only happen because you're a young woman working
in sport and you're hot.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Like, I don't think it has anything to do with
sport cash, I think this is any industry.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
That's what I mean though, Like, it really sucks that
as the single woman in this situation, you have to
potentially limit your ability to network and create stronger connections
within your work environment because you're too worried about what
either the partners of the people that you're either going
to say, or the people that you work with, or
you know, people talk. They love to gossip about this
(22:48):
kind of shit. They like to make up that things
are happening when they're not because they enjoy the rumors.
It sucks that you don't have the ability to form
those deeper relationships on a personal level that could impact
your career in a positive way.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
But do you need to have a romantic dinner away?
And I say romantic because if it's one on one,
do you need to go and have a dinner away
to have that connection and that networking with a colleague?
I don't think you do.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
I have been in situations where I was working away
in radio, quite a few of these, actually, and quite
a few times they went for dinner with the content
director because they may have been also away because they
looked after multiple radio networks, and we would go and
grab a bite. And at the time I didn't really
think anything of it. And it wasn't until years and
years later that I had been out with a different
(23:30):
colleague and rumors started to start about our interactions back
at our workplace, and I was like, hang on a second,
I've been doing this for a long time, and those
dinners absolutely made my connection with that content director better. Yeah,
you know, we got to know each other and he
got to know what I was about, He got to
know what my career ambitions were. And I have no
idea whether people were talking about whether we could have
(23:51):
been potentially interacting in an inappropriate way.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I do agree with that, and I think it's really
challenging because, like, even as you said, like a romantic dinner,
you're putting your perception on that just because it's a
one on one, right, So if two people have gone
out as work colleagues to go and do something outside
of work, whether it's a lunch or it's a dinner,
and obviously it depends on the situation, et cetera, et cetera,
But there is a very big difference between something being
(24:15):
like entirely platonic and having like an outside of work
meet up. And I guess that's where the big question is.
It is unfortunate that as a woman you have to
have your guard up because it is very possible that
that other person will interpret the way in which you
are behaving as something that you do not intend, and
that is just it's very biased, and it's very gendered,
(24:37):
and it's incredibly unfair.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But this is my whole point. This is why you
have to take responsibility for the situation you're putting yourself in.
I'm not saying it's right, but exactly what Keisha just said.
You cannot have any control over what anyone else thinks
of you, or thinks of the situation, or talks about
that situation. It sucks and it's unfortunate, but that's a
byproduct of putting yourself in a situation where you're with
(24:59):
some one on one. It could have been the most.
You could have been talking about dogshit the entire night.
You could have been sitting there saying to each other,
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
A hundred times.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
If any other that would. But if any other one
else walks past, they don't see that. They say two
people that are alone away on a weekend talking to
each other. And it sucks, and it's not your fault,
and you haven't done anything wrong necessarily, but you can't
control other people's bias or other people's opinions of you.
It's just a part of the world we live in.
So I just think you need to take these things
(25:30):
into consideration when you're making the decision where are you,
who are you with? Are there any other circumstances that
may lead to people thinking other things? And then make
your decision. Do you think that they're actually hitting on you?
Do you think there's something more there? Do you think
they've asked you because they think I'm going to shoot
my shot? Then don't put yourself in the situation.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yeah, And I also think it depends on who the
person is and how do they interact with other people
in the office. For example, there are and I think
about it from like a radio perspective, right, there are
men who work in the radio offers who I would
have no issue going for dinner with, Like I not
one iota of me would be like, oh, Matt would
find that an appropriate.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
You guys would find that weird.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Not a single person there are people in the office
who if I was like, I'm just going to.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Bomp out for dinner with X y Z, You'd be like,
what the fuck is why?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah, you'd be like you bang in.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Like I definitely think that there are different people who
would create more of a perception around that. But yeah,
I mean, ultimately, and I know I've said it a
few times, and I'll come back to it one last time.
This is something that only women need to worry about,
I think, because I don't think it is very well.
You know, maybe it might happen from time to time,
but this fear that someone else is going to get
(26:38):
the wrong impression around something that is completely platonic and
is centered around work is such a shit situation to
be it.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I don't think it's just women. I think men would
equally get that. If the man and a woman are
having dinner, and people will pass and they know the
man from a distance, they look in through the window,
they know him, they know he's got a wife, They're
immediately going to think he's doing thisly. I don't think
that's just women face more gender bias one hundred percent
and probably more.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Overt advances potentially.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Well yeah, but even like the discrimination and the rumors
would swirl in a more derogatory way, like oh if
she was trying to break up the family, as opposed
to him being like oh, your slide dog.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
But I think if anyone looked in there, it would
be equal that the man and the woman are possibly
doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Well, you know what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
It's that as a female, I think that there are
more social ramifications within a workplace.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
If those were rumors circulate on.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
That's what I try and find words for, and I
couldn't get it out exactly.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
I think that a guide doesn't stand as much reputation
damage as what a female does, and that is probably
the biggest type of damage that can be done to
a woman, is reputational damage.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Yeah, all right, question number two.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
My grandma passed away. She had been estrange from my
parents and siblings and all other family members for over
fifteen years. During those fifteen years, I had a close
relationship with her. She made me her enduring power of attorney,
which basically means her decision maker, also so the director
of her will. My parents and siblings have had hate
(28:04):
and bitterness towards her and completely wiped her, but I
never experienced anything that they did, so my relationship with
my grandma was never affected. Now, my grandma has left
me with everything, including money. Do I respect her wishes
and not give any of the family money or belongings
or do I divide it because they now want it?
(28:26):
And said that they deserve it.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Death and money are two things that can absolutely rip
a family apart, and I think there is no one
listening to this. Maybe you will be the chosen child,
but very few people listening to this will not have
a story from their family tree where money and inheritance
ruined a relationship somewhere in their family tree. I think
(28:51):
it is pretty relevant and it is pretty prolific. I
think that this is such a hard one to answer,
and the reason for that is is because my initial
response is no, they had no relationship with your grandmother
for fifteen years. You had obviously an incredibly close relationship.
They don't deserve anything. That's a really simple way of
(29:12):
answering this question. I think a more complex way of
answering this question is to ask what is their grievance
with your grandmother? And the reason why I say that
is because you, for example, maybe the youngest grandchild, You
may not have experienced the abuse, the treatment, the mistreatment
that they experienced, and therefore relationship with your grandma may
(29:33):
be very, very different. There may be some animosity that you,
even though you know what their grievances are, that you
maintained a relationship with her when everyone else had to
cut her off basically, and so I would question whether
keeping all of this inheritance is worth damaging your relationship
with your existing family who you also love and want
(29:54):
to be in contact with. And I say this because
I have a little bit of skin in the game
with this when it comes to inheritance by any means,
but from having a different relationship with someone. My example
is so my stepdad, my first stepdad, who is my
brother's dad, not Neil, who I've talked about. It also
confusing for everyone, but my first stepdad, he was very,
(30:14):
very abusive, and he was a heroin addict. He was
in our life for nine years. And the best thing
that came out of that nine years was the fact
that I had my little brother, Matt, who is quite
a bit younger than me, but he when my brother
was born, that's when his father left. So my brother
growing up never had a relationship with his dad. And
it wasn't until Matt was Matt's my brother's name, until
(30:35):
he was more of an adult, that he became aware
of all the stories around what Alex did and the
reason why he wasn't a part of the family. And
so it was really challenging for me when Matt as
an adult, wanted to have some relationship with him because
I felt this level of betrayal.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I was like, well, you know all of these things.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
You know how he treated me, you know how he
treated your sister, you know how he treated mum.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Why would you want to know this man?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And I understand that, like, relationships are complex and there's
many reasons why people want the things that they want
from sense of identity and everything else. So I question,
did your family have a very unique relationship with your grandma?
Was there a reason why they cut her off? And
so is this inheritance money? Just feeling like this really
dirty wedge in your relationship? That would be my big question,
(31:24):
And without those answers, it's really really hard to answer this.
But what I would think is that if you do
choose to keep all of this money and all of
this inheritance and there is a really great reason as
to why they had to cut her out of their
relationship in the first place, you will damage your relationship
with your now existing family and what's more important to you.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
It's so hard that you've been putting this situation. It's
fucking terrible, so hard because nothing affects your grandma now, right,
she's dead, so she's done it. You're going to totally
You're the one that has to deal with ramifications. Do
I think that your grandma is going to know what
you do? Personally? I don't believe that. I don't believe
that she's up there watching your decision. So whatever you do,
I don't think you need to It doesn't need to
(32:05):
be laden with guilt. There has to have been something
that went down off the back of what you're saying, Laura,
because otherwise an entire family doesn't turn them back on someone.
But you don't know which way it went. You don't
know if the grandma has done something that's upsetting to
the family, or that's a family run up, something upsetting
that the grandma's wanted to pull away. You don't know
which way it is. I think i'd be getting to
the bottom of that. But at the end of the day,
(32:26):
this decision won't affect your grandma, but it will affect
you for the rest of your life, like your connection
with every one of your family members. Do I think
it's worth the repercussions if you keep it all? I'm
just trying to think of my family. No, I don't
think it is, because like you only get well not everyone.
I was gonna say, you want to get one family,
but that's not true.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You have luwiul families.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Laura is a prime example.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
But like that's your family, right.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
So if something happens now and money is so divisive,
if you keep every part of that, your family seems
like they're going to.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Hold a really big grudge.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I don't know if you can in a way where
maybe you keep one asset to yourself, whether that is
like some sort of property or whatever she's left. Maybe
you can keep one aspect and then you divide all
the rest, or you divide the cash or I don't
know if there's a way you can work around that.
Maybe that's like the happy medium. Like you're like, look,
grandma was adamant, but I'm still gonna give it to
you anyway.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Like Grandma was.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Adamant, she was like, do not let my family touch
my money. Yeah, but i'd beget to the bottom of it.
I don't think it's worth keeping the whole thing. You
might have money, but you will be unhappy with the
fact that you've lost that relationship with your family.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I honestly there is no way of navigating this that
is easy. Money inheritance family are so so challenging, and
that is why you have to have these conversations with
people when they're alive, like it is. It is a
horrible place that you have been put in that you
are responsible to pass down your grandma's wishes with the
rest of your family because nobody had this conversation when
(33:52):
she was still alive, like that is a hideous place
to be. And I do think regardless of the relationship, right, like,
regardless of how broken down it was, regardless of who
did what, if you have not been a part of
someone's life for fifteen years, you do not have the
right to ask for anything. And even if that's because
that person is done wrong by you and there is
hatred there. And I guess that that's where this is
(34:16):
so challenging for you to reconcile, because you're like, well,
they made the decision regardless of the situation, they made
the decision to leave, and I stayed and dedicated my
life to my grandma. Did you do that because you
wanted this inheritance or is the inheritance just a byproduct
of it?
Speaker 3 (34:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
There's so many ways that you can split this, but
I think you've got to make decisions for yourself and
also for your long term and what's going to be
the best thing for you in terms of financially but
also in terms of how you're going to maintain relationships
with your family.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Also, wills don't really mean anything. The family can just
go and challenge that anyway and say, look where the
family A'm and actually the daughter, I am the son
she was in her right state of mind when she
did the will. There are so many ways to challenge
a will, and you definitely don't want to have go
down that track as well. Sounds like your family probably
would go down that track because they want to. So
I think this one you might have to say sorry, Nan,
(35:08):
and then do what's best for you now.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Oh god, I says I Reckon.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
We will get so many messages from people who have
had tricky cat and situations with their families because it
is so fucking common.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
As we said, okay, I think this is the last question.
I have a four year old daughter that is obsessed
with makeup and clothes. We don't mind the clothes part.
She loves dresses and tutuos and wears one every day,
even to bedute. But I'm a little worried that she
loves makeup too much. She sees me put on makeup
for work every day, and I explain that everyone is
beautiful without makeup, and sometimes we just wear it to
(35:42):
look fancy. She now wants to look fancy for daycare
every day. For all she wants from Santa this year
is a big makeup kit. I suppose. My questions are,
do you think it's okay to get a four year
old a big makeup kit for Christmas? And is her
obsession with makeup at four years old worrying? Is it
okay considering she is very young and we are very
(36:02):
careful with our messaging around not needing makeup to look beautiful.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I think it's more annoying that if you get your
kid makeup that's going to be one hundred percent in
your carpet. And I know this from experience.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
On the walls that makeup.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Four year olds cannot do their fucking makeup, and that
makeup will be embedded in your rug.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
That's where it's gonna be.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I recommend not doing it, not from like an altruistic
Arm'm gonna be the best mum ever. Like you know,
my child's gonna grow up thinking they're beautiful and everyone's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
No, it's annoying, and you will have it in your carpet.
Take out from me.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Pretend they have floorboards. Should she get her four year
old makeup?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
We got Marley and lawa makeup because they loved it,
like they absolutely love it, and we try and treat
it like it's a creative thing. Like Lola will go
into the bathroom and she puts pink eyeshadow on most
days and then off she tries.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Before daycare.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Fire doesn't matter where we're going. But I think this
is an interesting one to unpack.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
And where I find it interesting is you've said the
exact same thing I say to my girls. You said
she sees me put on makeup for work every day,
and I explained to her that everyone is beautiful without makeup.
Sometimes we wear it to look fancy. Absolutely, you are
not convincing anyone though. That's the problem, right, And I
realized this myself. I am telling Mary, you're so beautiful
(37:13):
without makeup, but mmy needs to put it on because
I look tired. It's really conflicting messaging for kids because
kids want to emulate what we do as adults, and
if we're putting on makeup every day and that's what
they see that we're doing, they want to do it too.
I don't have a perfect answer for this, because I'm
not a perfect mum, and I also want to wear
makeup makes me feel good about myself. It covers the
(37:33):
things that I look at myself in the mirror and
think are imperfections. But it's really hard to share that
messaging around. You don't need it to look beautiful, but mummy,
does you know, like, how does that work?
Speaker 3 (37:45):
I think it's fine.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I think kids love to explore that kind of thing.
It's like paint. They don't look at it like I
can't go to daycare without my face on. That's not
what they're thinking. It's creative. It's creative, it's art. It's
like I remember growing up with it. I loved makeup.
I loved putting it on. I used to sherry and
I used to sit my dad down and we used
to do my dad's makeup, Like we used to put
hairbands in his hair, and he would just let us
(38:07):
do it. Because it wasn't about putting on a woman
to look different or better. It was just fun and creative,
and you like the look of it before and after, like,
oh my god, look how funny dad looks.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Whether you do it at home or not, it's everywhere now.
So they're going to see it. They're going to see
it on TV, they're going to see it when they
go to school. They're going to see every other parent,
every other TikTok, social media, like this idea of makeup
and beauty and before and afters, it is everywhere. I
think as long as you're messaging at home is like
I just choose to do this sometimes and sometimes I
(38:37):
don't do this. Like, as long as you're not putting
on every second of the day and you still and
like you don't, Laura, you always don't have makeup on.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
You nailed it, Britt you nailed it in.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I think we as adults, as parents, we overcomplicate things
for kids. Kids do not understand that we are putting
on makeup to fix imperfections. They think we're doing it
to be creative as well.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Well.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
They think we're doing it as part of our morning routine.
My kids don't know that I put on vitamin sea
cream because I'm trying to get rid of malasma. They
don't know there's no Mummy puts on creams like. They
don't know the reasons why. And I think that we
can shield them from that for a really long time.
And that's kind of something that I realized about how
I was speaking to my girls about it, because I
would say, like, Molly, you don't need makeup because you're
(39:20):
so beautiful, Like you're so beautiful without it. She didn't
think she wasn't beautiful without it, And now she winds
now why you said it, And now she says, Mummy,
I need makeup because I want to be beautiful, And
I'm like, oh, I conditioned you to think that I'm
the one who planted that seed. Had I talked about
makeup as a way of it being creative, as it
being fun, is it being playful, it would have had.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
A different meaning to her.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
And so I kind of learned that lesson with her,
and I'm trying to retrain it with Lola, because we
never I never speak about makeup or about anything to
do with cosmetics, to do with beauty. Now I just
talk about it in terms of like, I like the
feel of it. I like how it feels on mummy.
So Molly asks, why do I shave my under arms?
Speaker 4 (39:58):
And I say because they get spiky for mummy and
it's uncomfy for mummy.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Well, I think I never thought about it.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, I think it's okay to also just say, like,
this is something that adults do. Like, I think it's
okay to say that there's kid things and there's adult things,
like kids play at the park and adults don't. Adults
put makeup on and kids don't. Like, I think it's
okay to say, like, this is something that just isn't
is an adult thing. When I have a problem with
it is when it gets into the beauty pageants and
when there are kids that are like dressed the nines
(40:24):
with fake lashes, fake tans, lipsticks, and they're parading around,
Like I think that's different because that is conditioning them
that this is a beauty pageant. You need this to enter,
to be beautiful, to win. But you never do Fizzy
as a kid. No, I hated Fizzy as a kid.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I never did Fizzy either, But you always knew the
Fizzy kid because they would come in looking a bit
orange because they've been spray painted from the eyeballs to
the toes.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
And hairs like ripped back in the buns.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
Still fizzy, what a weird I mean, I don't know
if it's still around.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I don't know it's around. It's huge.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
So and obviously if your kids do fizzy, I'm not
coming for you, but like, it's an odd thing that
you need to fake tan your child so that they
can do fizzy.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
But I think we're just going back again to what
we said. But I just do think that we overcomplicate
things for kids. I think sometimes you just have to
let kids be kids. And at the end of the day,
they're putting on glitter eyeshadow because it's glitter, not because
they think it makes their eyes have a cat eye
effect or makes them blue up or makes them rounder
like they just fucking like the glitter.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
But also this is.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
As a parent, you often feel like you can't do
anything right. And I think we are such a generation
of parents who are so highly aware of the many
ways in which we can fuck up our kids, right,
Matt and I say it all the time, where I
was like, oh God, how are we going to mess
our children up? Like we'll be paying for their therapy
one day. But we are really really conscious of it
as a generation of parents, and I think sometimes we overcorrect.
(41:44):
We're like holding space for their feelings and we're trying
to mediate in a way that is very thoughtful and
considerate and calm, and it's a lot of pressure. It's
a lot of pressure to be like, Okay, well my
child wants to use makeup, so what's the right to
you so that I don't mess her up? And then
it's like, I don't ever think my parents had to
(42:05):
think about it that much like we just did. And also,
I'm not saying that that's the better way either, but
I think there's a lot of ways in which you
can try and navigate parenting and whether you're doing it
the right way or the wrong way.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
But I was watching something online just yesterday and I
was like, come on, and it was this video of
these parents being like my husband and I made a
conscious decision to never interrupt our child when they're trying
to figure something out, and it was their kids the time.
That's my point. They showed this kid trying Its like
she's too right, She's trying to do the button up
on her cardigan twenty minutes. They sat there and watched
(42:37):
her like she's and then she smiled at the end
because she did it. Then they were like, this is
how she learns. And I'm like, bitch, gotta get to work,
Like there's no way that people can parent in that way.
And I understand it's beautiful and wholesome, but this comparison
culture constantly makes other parents feel like shit because they
dress their kid because they don't have time to let
the kid figure out how to do button up.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
It's very romanticized parents.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
There's this other I'll see if I can find it,
but it was so to me recently. It was a
satirical real and this mom had created it and she
was like millennial parenting. And she she's running down the
grocery aisle and.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
She's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Are your
emotions big? How big are they? Won to stop me
when your emotions? And she's like, three, oh, these are
big emotions. Five, six, I'm gonna hold space for you.
I'm holding space. Talk to me about how you're feeling.
Get in the trolley and getting the car and then
she's like, whoa, I can see we're gonna sit here
and we're gonna breathe.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
We're gonna breathe through it.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Counter three with Mammy one two three, And it was
really funny because obviously, like that's a very extreme version
of it, but it ends with her being like, I'm
just gonna ground you and mummy, mommy, and you're gonna
ground each other. And then it's like a long shot
of the husband holding the mum in an embrace and
the mom holding the baby and them all just swaying,
and I was like, it's true. I don't obviously it
(43:52):
is not that far in the future, but like I
do think that sometimes we are trying so hard to
be the perfect version of a pair so that we
don't mess our children up because we're also fearful of
doing it. And I think ninety nine point nine percent
of us are doing a really, really good job. And
if your kid wants to play with makeup as a
four year old, let them be creative, let them be expressive.
(44:13):
They might end up being an incredible makeup artist one day,
or someone who works in creative arts because they've had
the opportunity to explore and discover textures and discover colors
and make a mess and do all the things that
attack tile that we were able to do as kids.
I don't think it has to be about beauty, and
don't put adult labels onto something that a child is
(44:33):
just wanting to enjoy if it's harmless.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
The last and only thing I want to say to
be conscious of when I say, like, it's easy, just
go let them play, it's your terminology once they've put
the makeup on, instead of saying, look how beautiful you look?
You look like, oh that looks awesome, Like look how
fun that is? Like that's all you need to say,
instead of like, oh my god, look how beautiful you look?
Now like you look cute, you look wonderful. Because if
people are only getting kids, are only getting that kind
(44:57):
of terminology once they've put the makeup on, that's what
they going to attach that to. Just let them live,
all rights. That's it from us. Keep your questions coming
into life, Uncut podcast, Instagram, just put ask uncut. You
can also email them as well. We absolutely love getting
them and you're accidentally unfiltered too. Don't forget. We've got
YouTube now, which is very fun to watch. We've got
the episodes on there. We've got short clips on there.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
You can see me trying to stuff banana bread into
my mouth in between conversations, as I have.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Done on that, and I have been looking at it
the whole time. I cannot wait.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
I know it's cold now I don't care. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Don't forget to you, mum, te dadte dot tee. Friends
and share the love because we love love
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