Ask Uncut - She Cheated With Her Second Cousin - Life Uncut

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
elders past and present.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
recorded on gaddigal Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to
another episode of Life Uncut.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
And I'm still so excited to be back. It feels
so weird.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
I know, I mean, it's my.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Second episode back, but I can't believe how much I
missed you guys, Like shop was it when you said, hey,
do we do our vibes first?

Speaker 3 (00:37):
All the questions like it's my first day of school.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
My brain has actually switched off. Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
I felt like it was my first day of school today.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Because we're in the new studios in the city and
I had to drive myself to work alone. So I
did a trial run with Laura on Monday.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
I chauffeured both Brita and produce a Keisha into work
because I get lost in the city.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
It was a new studio in the city, and I
was like, do you know what, pick up on our
first day.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
It's easier. We'll catch up in the car, I'll follow
where to go.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
So today I had like my lunchbox ready, I packed
some stuff, I packed my oats in the car, got
a coffee and I drove here and I felt like
it was my first day of school. And then when
I parked and made it, I messaged the girl straight
away and I was like, I'm here, I made it,
I'm safe, and.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I beat you bitches. Do you know why you beat us? Bitches?
We don't need to talk about it. We do need
to do about it. It's fine. We got to work
nicely in peacefully. Today, Produce a Keisha, why wouldn't we
talk about it?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well, I got a message and I heard that Produce
a Keisha had a bit of a hurricane moment.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
So we were running very early today, like I'm talking
like twenty minutes early. I was thought I would get
in here, I'll do a bit of prep, I'll just relax,
I'll get another coffee. Anyway, it's been raining in Sydney.
It's been torrentially raining in Sydney the last two days.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
And I drove up to pick Kesha up. I pick
her up every morning.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Very grateful for I am Akeisha's personal Uber service. I
pick her up every morning. I drive into like there's
a little pull in zone, and in exchange for me
picking her up, she pops inside and gets me a coffee.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Right, I mean, you know, on the business car. But
still she.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Does the actual she does the walking in to.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
Get the coffee. It's still money, but she gets I
pay for it.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
So anyway, so Kisha goes in and she gets the coffee,
and then I have never seen someone move with such
like furiosity.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
It was like a hurricane was trying to enter the car.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
In one movement, there was a bag an umbrella that
was still half up the right cup of coffee.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Did you say you said something around like swing dozer.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
You called yourself a bulldozer, which was moments before I'm
talking about five seconds before bulldozed her entire handbag straight
into the cup of coffee that she bought, and it
just evacuated all over the car. It wasn't like one
of these little spills that you could like it just
fell on the floor.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
It got into you know the heavy brake where it's
got the stitching of the leather that goes into the plastic,
and it's like got so many crevices and then everywhere
I white, it.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Just came out like that.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
So this is the sun that doesn't it's it goes
on and every time we wipe, more fucking coffee came
out of the car.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
I realized that I got it in the center console,
like on the top and in the handle, and then
in the Senate console as where it was.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
It was a freaking disaster. I didn't do it.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
You do it well right, like I spilled the whole
cup and you spill it everywhere.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
I did put on Instagram and everyone keeps messaging me
being like, that's your spout.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
We're not using a keep caup, and I'm like, I know,
to be fair, I would have spilled that justice.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
I brought my oats to work today since the jungle,
I have oats. Are you're not traumatized by oaths? No,
I've on this new bandwagon. I'm just wanting them all
the time.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
So I brought it to work.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
But I have been bringing my oaths in a keip
cup just so you know. It's a brilliant idea. Since
the middle console, I must be pedestal.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
I'm just a pestal.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
I just did spill my coffee, but you're saving graces.
Laura has two kids, so I'm sure spill a lot worse.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
In that this is true.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
After we finished cleaning up the mess, I did say
to Keisha, I don't think that that part of the
car has ever been so clean.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
We did joke about this because this applies to anything
in life.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
It has to be bad enough that you make a change, right, Like.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
The cleanup process had to be bad enough that we
gave it a nice little wipe down.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
It's good.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
But anyway, have you guys seen the new straw that's
going around. I don't think this trend's going to take off,
but this is how far women have gone to like
preserve their face. There is a new straw that you
don't suck the end anymore, because if you think of
when you suck a straw, you cigarette smokeslines, Yeah, your purse,
your lips over it all right, So people are saying
now that that constant position of your lips is going
to cause like, yeah, what the equivalent of smoke a lines?

(04:27):
Like there's little wrinkles. So now there's a straw that
goes up like a straw, then goes on a right
angle and goes horizontal and the hole for the straw
is in the horizontal part and you just gently put
your lips over and.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Suck like that.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Like if you guys, I know this is not a
visual medium, but if you can google it, it is
the funniest shit. There is no way I'm ever walking
around drinking from a horizontal straw.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
I thought you were about to say that you'd started,
you'd gotten one. You're like, it's the new thing. It's
my vibe for this week. Horizontal straw sucking.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Oh my god, I do you know what. Okay, I'll
try it. I'll try the trend, but I I think
it's the dumbest thing I've ever couldn't have a lip flip,
that's for sure.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
He should tell us about that.

Speaker 4 (05:07):
I went through a process a couple of months ago
where I had a fresh little bit of botox put
For anyone who doesn't know what a lip flip is it.
I got it instead of getting filler because my lips
used to be a little too big, and.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
So I was like, okay, this is a nice happy medium. Anyway.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
It paralyzes the muscle just above your lips, so it
kind of turned your lip outward. Anyone who's had this
will know when you drink the muscles don't work properly
and it just falls out of your mouth.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Even when you like brush your teeth, it kind of dribbles.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
What about when you're sucking? I love that you. This
is a sex podcast. And Laura's like, what about when.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
You well, if you can't suck a straw, you can't stop.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Oh, poor toddleron, poor toddler.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
The sucking is the problem, right, Yeah, yeah, no, I've
decided lip flips not for me, one and done for me.
It's so hard to keep any type of ten in
your mouth. So wow, you can't suck spaghetti up. You
can't suck. Honestly, it really was how you consume food,
liquid and other things.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
If you wish, can you reverse it, like you know,
if you get filler, you can have it dissolved or
is it?

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Because it's just the.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Same as botoks, right, So you just gotta let it.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
You just gotta let it. You gotta let it wear
out essentially.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
So yeah, I'm a couple months in now and it
has decreased.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
I think it's gone away now.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
It was when you very first got it done because
Keisha didn't come to work and say, hey, guys, got
a lip flip done? You just tried to let it
fly under the radar, and straight away I was like, Keisha, did.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
You get a lip flip? Because your lip is doing
all sorts.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
Of also causes you to get like a little bit
of a like your speech changes.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Oh yeah, yours, dear.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
I didn't realize how much you use the top lip
to kind of pronounce things, probably, And now it's really funny. Actually,
now I feel like I can spot it when I'm
on social media.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
I can see and I'm like.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Oh, you've had a lip flip. That's why you're talking.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
Like it's surprising because I have seen a few people
with lip flips, and I don't think I have to
see a lip flip on someone where I think it
looks better than their normal lips, and not when it's static,
like when you're not moving, great, looks fantastic.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
It's the talking.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
The talking just doesn't look quite natural, and so it's
a bit distracting.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
Because it paralyzes your lips, so only one lip is
moving all of a sudden, so when you're talking, your
top lip stays stationary and only the bottom lip like
a grope ye is doing the work. Yeah, you know
what we're criticized for.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
And I'm putting this in quotation marks promoting cosmetic procedures
before because I'm very open about anything I've had done.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
This is the opposite.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Don't get it done.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
It's not worth it.

Speaker 4 (07:31):
You can't drink shit, you can't eat properly, and you
cannot give decent.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Trenck and tomplarritors marked the diary for how long your
both He's like, so, what's your metabolism? Like, how long
does botox take to wear off?

Speaker 3 (07:41):
I've marked the diary.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
He's like, no, it's fine, babe, I'm tired.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
This is I mean for you guys playing at home.
You've been a life on cut family for a long time.
You'll know that Laura and I have very different stances
on what we do in front of our partners in
terms of farting and right ah yeah, yeah yeah, Laura
will take.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
A dumb no I won well, I won't. I will not.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
I will not do a pool in front of my parta.
That is absolutely not true. But you're accept do you
know what? Okay, I'm hijacking this for one second, and
I was on the toilet doing a pooh yesterday morning,
like in the middle, and he walked in and said,
I'm having a shower.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
I'm running late. And I was like, no, you are not.
You will wait.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
There are two other showers in this house. And he
was like, I'm having a shower, why that shower.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Pick another shower, Go into another shower.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
And then I just had to sit there because I
was too humiliated to white whilst he was in the shower.
So I just sat there waiting for him to finish.
If you a made evacuation, I was at the studio.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
I had to have continued the evacuation, I know. And
I was sitting on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
I was enjoying my one minute of peace after my
poo This was he got in the shower.

Speaker 4 (08:53):
I have a follow up question, Yeah, while you were
sitting there, did you flush or did you just leave
it floating?

Speaker 2 (08:58):
I just left it floating. The whole thing was the
most bizarre ten minutes of my life. He came in,
he said, I'm running late. I have to have a shower.
I was like, there's a bathroom downstairs, and he said,
were your dad's downstairs?

Speaker 3 (09:09):
So I don't want to have a shower.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
So then he got in the shower, but had a
completely freezing cold shower, so he was like the whole time,
it's very Gary Bracker healthier, and then towed off and left,
and I was left sitting on the toilet, confused about
my life decisions.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
I don't know what to say, because there's no worse
part in a relationship for me than taking a dump
in front of your partner. I don't get it, Like
I want to look at my partner, and this is
why it goes to farting for me. I get that
everyone loves to fart. I get that everyone far it's fine,
whatever is my opinion. For me, I want to look
at my partner for as long as physically possible and
want to rip their clothes off. And the more farts

(09:45):
that they drop around me on me, the more I
smell them, the quicker that's going to deteriorate.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
Why don't you tell everyone what you did? This is
what I'm getting to.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
I've come out of the jungle, and I'm still a
bit of a jungle beast, and like, I forget that
I'm not in the middle of South Africa anymore, and
no one's around me. And I was on the phone
to Ben. We're on FaceTime, and I was in the
bathroom getting ready, the bathroom, of all places, the acoustics
in a bathroom. So Ben was on FaceTime, on against
the mirror, and I was just going about my stuff,
getting ready whatever, and it was silent, and I.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Don't know what came over me. I didn't think.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
About it, but I just let one rip, like I
just dropped a bomb. I know, I just forgot. I
forgot he was on the phone. I forgot I wasn't
in a jungle anymore. I forgot that I don't fight
in front of bend. Anyway, I let this fat rip
and I just stopped and I was like, did I
just do that? And I was like maybe he didn't
hear through the FaceTime. And he burst into laughter and

(10:39):
he goes, did you did you?

Speaker 3 (10:41):
I was like, know what?

Speaker 1 (10:42):
And he goes, did you just I was like, that
was obviously Delilah, Ben, and he was like, that was
not Delilah.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
You just the one rip?

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Anyway, I burst into laughter. But then I had to
pretend because I was embarrassed. I pretended that I meant
to do it.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
I was like, yeah, babe. I'm like, obviously we're there now,
and he.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
Was like, oh we ha. I was like, what's the
big deal? He's like, are we there?

Speaker 3 (11:05):
Are we? There?

Speaker 1 (11:05):
Are we farting now? And I'm like, if you don't
want to, let's not time one time?

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Oh my god. Anyway, he just thought it was the
best thing.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Now I'm in this tricky place of well, he's going
to listen to this, I guess. But I'm in this
tricky place of do I own that was a slip
and an accent? And I don't want to go back.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
There unless you want to open the floodgates. You want
to go down the slippery spiral of him walking in
whilst we're in the middle of a poop.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
But also I think I don't actually don't know what
came over me, and the bathroom makes it echo just human,
everyone doesn't.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Do you remember what.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
The catalyst was for you opening the flood gates? Was
it just it happened one day and you were like, okay,
well here.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Now, No, it would have been Matt. Matt's disgusting. He
has no problems with He'll fight anywhere. He's like, well,
if you get to do it, equality. Whatever's good for
him is good for me. So now I'm just waiting
for the next time he's doing a poop and I'm
going to go and have a shower, just.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
To get one up on him. But you'll never peel
in front of him. I already did that's I was
in the middle.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
But no.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
But yeah, but you didn't have a choice. That choice
was taken. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to do
the same to him. I'm going to go and have
a shower. I don't think it'll have the same effect.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
I don't think he'll care.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
I'm not going to enjoy the shower, but I need
to at least feel as though I did what he did.

Speaker 4 (12:10):
You know, I think this is a double punishment for
you guys. Let's move on from poop. Let's talk about
our vibes and unsubscribes.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
I'm gonna kick up my vibe because it's fresh off
my travel back.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
It's literally from Amazon or from have you seen the
new It's not new, but you know the TMU website
where everything's like a dollar, so like that Chinese website. Okay,
I'm not recommending that because I have bought something from here,
before when it break. But you can get anything from
there very ethically.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Questions. Yeahs terrible.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
It's oh yeah, it's terrible and it's low quality. That's
what I'm gonna say. But I'm just saying you can
get on any website. It's not specific, but I got
mine from Amazon. It's just like a travel plane phone
and iPad holder, and it's amazing.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
It's like this little holder that.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Will go over the top of your food you know,
your food tray. How it flaps down, so it like
hooks over that and it comes down and you can
screw it open, put your phone in.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
It can turn.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
Landscape or portrait, and it sits in front of you
and you can play your movies or shows or whatever
you want to do if you're reading on there, so
just sits in front of your hands free. And then
they have a bigger one that if you travel with
an iPad, you can put your iPad in there too,
because you know how sometimes on planes they don't have screens.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Well, sometimes they have those straps that you can put
your iPad into. That's few and far between me.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
I've got a budget version and used a face mask
and tried to like create a sling to hold my foot.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
Well, that's what I used to do.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
I have done some creative shit in the past. And
then I saw this somewhere floating around the line, and I.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Was like, that seems too good to be true.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Ordered them.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
They're brilliant, they're perfect.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
So I'll put a link to an Amazon one that
I got that was I mean, hasn't broken yet, So
so far.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
So good.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
My recommendation for this week is a It's a series.
It's on Apple TV. It's called Severance.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
Now.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
I think there's nine episodes in the first season and
I watched it all in three days.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
I've like been binging my series recently.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
So it's got Adam Scott in it and also Patricia Arquett.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Do you know who Putricatte is?

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Okaat Like I was going to school you on who
she is, but you can school meet. Yeah, she's an
Allien actress. She is from that TV series where she's
like a medium and helps to solve crimes. Anyway, So
basically the storyline behind this, and I don't want to
give too much away, but it's this moral concept of
imagine if you had your your life outside of work

(14:19):
and your work life and your brain was completely severed,
so your memories at work were completely severed to your
memories outside of work. So basically, you go to work,
you get in the lift, and as you're going up
the lift, anything that happens at work, anything you do
at work, you cannot remember and you're not supposed to remember.
And then you get in the lift, you come back
down and you get to live your life as though
that part of your life never existed. And so it's

(14:42):
this concept where it splits you in two, and so
you have what's called an inny and an auti because
you're two completely different people living two completely different lives.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
It's quite this like, like I said, it's not a thriller,
it's quite a psychological drama. I guess, not even a drama.
I don't know what category would sit in. It's very
thought provoking.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
And I say that because I've watched half of it
on your recommendation, Laura, and it's very one of those
things where you're like, you put yourself in it, imagine
this world.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
Would I want to do that?

Speaker 1 (15:10):
If I had the choice, would I want to separate
and not know what happened at work? And not know
what happened in my private life. It's like very yeah, insular,
thought provoking.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
I think it's brilliant.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
I really really enjoyed it, and I really enjoyed Sometimes
you watch these types of series and you're like, who
was it that thought of this? Like how did someone
have the creative ability to come up with this concept?
And that's what I really liked about it. So Severn's
Apple TV Big recommendation.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Sounds like a bit of a lighter black mirror.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Yes, it's a very black mirror of vart.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
I had to stop watching it it got too fucked up.
Speaking of thought provoking, my vibe of the Week is
kind of similar. It's the entire program of Insight that's
on SBS. It's hosted by Kumi Tagucci, and essentially Insight.
They're usually about a fifty minute like forty five to
an hour episode, and they all focus on a different topic.
So they will often get a lot of people in

(15:59):
a room that are somehow related to the topic, and
they will get.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
All of the different perspectives.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
From the people. There was one episode that I recently watched.
It came out I think maybe two or three weeks ago.
It's called convenient relationships. And so they got all of
these different people. They got people that were like sugar daddy,
sugar babies, they got escorts, they got these two mums
who were single mums that moved in together the mummune, Yeah,
to create this household where they because they were like,

(16:25):
you know, the cost of living and it's really hard,
and we've kind of provided each other this really good
dynamic to raise our children in. It was just very
very interesting and it kind of investigated transactional relationships.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
I really like that.

Speaker 4 (16:40):
Anytime I watch an episode, it seems very respectful and
it seems quite inquisitive, but not in a judgmental tone.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
So I really like that.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
It gives you, I was about to say, it gives
you insight into how these people live.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
That's why the show's called insights, yeah, actly named.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
So there's all these different ones. There's one on guilt,
there's one on stalking. Like, there's quite a lot, and
there's a lot. This is episode seven of season twenty
twenty four. So there's heaps of different episodes, lots of
different topics that I personally find very very interesting and
I'm just enjoying, like watching one a week because often
I'm like, oh, that's something I never would have thought about.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, otherwise, just that a little hit that you need.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
Where can you watch it? SBS so you can get it.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
It's for free.

Speaker 4 (17:23):
You can get the SPS app if you don't watch
I don't know when it actually goes live on the
TV because I don't have live TV. I just have
the apps and that kind of thing. So yeah, SPS
on demand app and you can just stream it to wherever.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
A Right, well, let's get into your questions.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
Question number one.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Oh my gosh, this is actually this is fucked up.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
This is it.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
It's fucked up. It's it is many levels of fact up.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
There's a lot of people sometimes when we get some
questions that are super left field, people think that we
make them up.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
We have never made a question up in the history
of life. Uncut it like swear hand on heart. Every
question is.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Written in and it's always anonymous, but it's always from
you guys and from the listener.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
We receive hundreds and hundreds of messages every single week
all around different questions, like from everything from cheating to
relationship breakdowns to friendship breakdowns, like literally everything and every
so often there are somewhere where like we can't even
believe this is real life, And this is one of those.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Okay, my cousin has come to me absolutely distraught. She
confided to me that at a family wedding about two
months ago, she got very, very very drunk and had
sex with our second cousin. Keep in mind, she's newly
married and her husband couldn't make it to this wedding,
she was flying solo. She also told me that she

(18:42):
is pregnant and not one hundred percent sure who the
dad is, either her husband or her second cousin. Hell, sorry,
that has a pause dramatic effect. And also I'm shocked
she has decided just to assume that it's her husband's
That is a big assumption.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
He's not looking into.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
A paternity test, even though we are so close. It
took her all this time to tell me. She is
ashamed about it, and I think the only reason she
has opened up to me is because of the pregnancy.
My question is is it my place to tell the husband,
who I am very close with too for his sake
and the baby's sake, it could have serious health complications,

(19:25):
or do I just pretend I know nothing. Any advice
would be appreciated, as I have no one else to
talk about.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
I firstly just I mean, we can all cost a
lot of judgment in this, and I know that that's
we probably will at some point. I'm so sorry that
you're in the situation now where you have to decide
what's the moral right thing to do, like it is
so unfair. And I understand why your cousin needed someone
to confide in, and I'm sure that this is a lot
for her to process as well, but it is a

(19:51):
very unfair situation to be And when someone comes to
you with their secret and says, I need you to
keep this, and sometimes you know, this happens to us
where people say I need to tell you something, but
please don't tell anyone, and you make that commitment before
you know what the thing is. And that's so unfair
to put that at dumping. It's completely trauma dumping. But
I also get it too, if you've done something that's

(20:11):
so like immoral in some ways, you know, and I
don't want to say, I mean, maybe immoral is not
the right word, but it's so scandalous it's gonna rip
families apart. Don't confide in someone who that's going to
have a massive emotional toll on as well. Go and
speak to a therapist, or go and speak to a
third party. That would be my first advice. And I
know that's not the question you ask, no, but.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Taking while we're there, taking away from the fact that
this is like a cousin thing. Away from that, it
just goes into all We've had this conversation so many
times around cheating when people have written in in this
exact instance, my friend has been cheating on her husband,
she told me. But I'm so far it close to
the husband. Do I tell them, Yeah, my friend's been
cheating on his wife.

Speaker 3 (20:49):
Should she know?

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Like being put in that position is a really awful
place to be put in, but it happens so frequently,
and I guess in this particular situation, there's a little
sprinkle of spice on top because it's the cousin and
the pregnancy. It's not just cheating, it's a cousin and
a pregnancy.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Firstly, I just want to rule something out because you said,
you know it could have serious health implications. I think
that there's a lot of rumors around, not rumors, but
like there's a lot of kind of like urban legend
that if you have a kid with your cousin that
they're going to have three fingers and seven toes. You know.
I think that we definitely have been brought up to
think that people are going to have a lot of
genetic mutations. If that happens legally within Australia, you can

(21:29):
marry your cousin. The risk or the increased risk of
genetic mutation because of that is only three to six
percent increase on what that genetic mutation risk already is,
which is a very small increase overall.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
So it goes from three percent to six percent. Oh sorry,
it increases from three percent to six percent, and that's
just from our research.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yes, so I would say that the risk to the
child is minimal. So I don't think make your decisions
off the fact that you think that there's this genetic
your fear around the child's physical or genetic their normalities,
I don't think should be what propels you to make
a decision.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
So like, let's just rule that one out.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Did you know this has nothing to do with the question,
But you can also marry your aunt, uncle and nieces
and nephews which I think is fucked, but you can
legally that's worse. Okay, all right, yeah, Britt you start.
I I do want to be careful with this one
because I feel very grateful that we have done this

(22:26):
podcast for so long. If I had this question five
years ago when we started, I would have been shook
to the core and I would have said, there is
so much wrong with this. You need to tell them,
you need to have a conversation with her about the
baby's health, all of this stuff, right, But we have
had so many crazy questions and done so much research
over the years that this shocks me less now. It
really does. And I know somebody that has married their cousin.

(22:49):
I don't think they had kids, but I know they
got married. So I feel like I've been a bit
desensitized over the years from how much exposure I've had
to it. People listening to this and going to be like,
what the fuck you guys talking about this is nomazy,
But morally, my head will never get around this. Even
knowing that three percent chance of there being complications with
a baby normally can go to six percent when it's

(23:12):
a cousin or second cousin, So it does increase. Foresuore
doubles for the problem for me isn't that the baby
could be from the second cousin. The problem here just
comes back to a standard cheating problem. Now you know
you're friends with him, right, your friends with the husband
and your clothes, and now you know that his child
might not actually be his. That's a really really big

(23:33):
issue and it's a.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Big weight on your shoulders to hold two. I feel
differently to you, Brett.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
I think that the cousin thing does play a massive impact,
and the reason for that is because there is so
much humiliation and shame loaded into this. Obviously, she is
completely distraught. She sounds like she's distraught. She's humiliated. She
got super super drunk and had sex with someone who she,
if she was of sound mind, absolutely would never have
had sex with.

Speaker 3 (23:55):
And that's really, really really upsetting for her.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Like, I feel terrible your cousin that she managed to
get to a place where she thought that that was
normal or okay. She's woken up with so much regret
around this, and I.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
Think that that is an awful situation.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Let's now unpack the fact that the question that you're
asking isn't around the morality of your cousin sleeping with
her cousin, like you know that's not around that. The
question is is do you tell her husband? Would I tell? No,
I wouldn't tell. That doesn't mean that that is the
right decision, because this is completely completely subjective, whatever you

(24:32):
feel comfortable with doing, whether you morally feel like you
can live with the decision that you make. I don't
feel like I would want to take on the massive
amount of responsibility that having that secret and giving that
secret up would have. And what I mean by that
is it will definitely ruin their marriage, which is not
your fault. She has done that herself, it's not your responsibility.

(24:55):
But it would also ruin family dynamics and the drama
and the stress that that would bring. I don't think
I personally have it in me, and maybe that's the
wrong thing to take that on board. Conflicting those feelings, however,
is that I do believe that that child has the
right to grow up knowing who their biological father is.
I do believe that there is Like so, there's so
much lying and deceit that is loaded into this, and

(25:17):
I don't condone any of the behavior.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
I don't condone the lying.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
I don't condone the but I'm saying I wouldn't have
the emotional capacity to take on the truth telling, and
that maybe is maybe that's a poor reflection of who
I am as personal. But I think that this will
come with so much stress for you, and the question
is is how do you feel? What can you manage
and what can you handle?

Speaker 1 (25:39):
I think for me what I would do, and I
did think about what I'm do in this situation, and
I agree Laura as I said, it's like it's got
nothing to do with well, I don't think it has
anything to do with the cousin situation here.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
I just think it has to do with the fact
of it's cheating.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Should they know.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
When you say it has nothing to the cousin, don't
you think like, well, it's going to be like the
auntie and uncles are going to be fighting. That's going
to trickle down, like it's going to affect everyone in
that family, not just the person who's cheated.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
Yeah, I guess it's more like for this person that's
written in her question, is she's pregnant with possibly someone
else's child, Do I tell him or not? So for me,
in my head Right now, I've taken away the cousin
thing because I know it's not going to have the complications.
It's still someone possibly someone else's baby. But I think
what I would do is I would go to her
and say to her, I think you need to be

(26:22):
really honest and have that conversation, and if you don't
want to tell him, you need to do a paternity
test for your knowledge, because if something happens to that
child when it's born and it needs something, or it
has medical problems where it needs to know it's biological history,
like it's medical history. If you don't actually know who

(26:43):
the father is, you can't give accurate health care to
that child, like you absolutely cannot if it needs transplants,
if it needs to know blood, if it needs blood donations.
I mean, like this is extreme here, but kidney is
a predisposed to something because of what the parents have.
If you don't know biologically who its dad is, but
you could know, I think that's a selfish choice.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Do you know what as well?

Speaker 2 (27:05):
We live in a day and age where so many
people do their ancestry chest like it's the fear your
cousin is going to live her life in absolute dread
that maybe that child is not biologically her husband's child,
and that this will come out. This kid is gonna
find out at some point in time, and then what
does that then look like? Yeah, it's a secret that
you are gonna have to carry. I for your restue,

(27:26):
I do agree with you, Britt, But I just I
don't know whether I would be the one to be
holding the moral compass here and being like I'm the
one who's gonna tell everyone.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
I just don't know.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
I don't know if I have it in me to
do that. But I literally cannot believe. I'm so surprised,
and this is a probably a horrible thing to say,
but I'm so surprised that she's choosing to go ahead
and have the baby with the uncertainty around it. And
maybe that's because of her own beliefs around abortion, or
maybe that's because she is married and she can't justify

(27:55):
to her husband why she would want to have an abortion.
Maybe there's more loaded into this.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
We also don't know what I for tis history is
like you totally totally child she thinks she could have
You don't know, And I agree, I agree where the
cousin part for me comes back into it right now
that I'm bringing it back in because it is you know,
we can't deny that she had sex with a cousin.
If you go to your partner and you say, I
need to tell you something. I messed up and I
cheated on you, like I slept with someone else and

(28:20):
I'm pregnant and whatever you want to do with that, right,
there is a chance that you will work through that.
There is a chance for me. It's different when you say,
and it was my cousin, You're never going to work
through that.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
You don't.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
I don't think you work through an affair is one thing,
you know, Esa Perel many other people have told us
many times that an affair doesn't have to be the end.
It is for a lot of people, and that's okay.
It's also not for a lot of people, which is okay.
Many people work through it depending on the situation. But
when you throw in the fact that the affair was
your cousin, it hits different. I understand why she doesn't

(28:53):
want to tell him. I don't think it's the right thing,
and I think at a minimum, she needs to go
and get a paternity test.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
I just can't believe she told you. You couldn't torture
this shit out of me.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
You couldn't you tell me if you'd sex with your cousin,
for sure you could water board me. And I wouldn't
tell you this, Like, there is nothing you could do
to me that would make me tell someone this information?
Would you really not tell me if I fucked my
cousin and I was pregnant and I was unsure nothing.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
I'm so offended. I told you I will die with
that secret. Wow, some people need to loose lip.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Sally over here, fucking shut up. I worry about how
we've answered this question, purely from the fact that because
we don't want to create a pylon, but we've been
so like, it doesn't matter that it's the cousin.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Oh what matters.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
It's so it's so effing weird. The whole thing is
so effing weird. It is so on many levels of
like the trying to hide, the paternity, the hiding, the cheating,
all of this. But the question you've asked is should
you be the one to tell? And I would be
doing what you recommended, brit. I would be trying to
encourage her to I have some truth to this and

(30:01):
to be as transparent with her husband as she can.
Maybe she doesn't want to tell the husband that it
was with a cousin. Maybe she can just give fifty
percent of the truth.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Not because if you've told your husband that you cheated
on him, they're going to want to know who when
to say it.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
I don't know, and maybe you make up a lie
because I don't know. Part of me is like, is
there any benefit of the whole family knowing that you
fucked your cousin?

Speaker 3 (30:24):
I don't think so. No, there's no benefit at all.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
It will ruin you. It will ruin you.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
It'll ruin you. Yeah, But imagine if Matt came to
you and said, I need to talk to you. I
cheated on you.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Do you think you're going to accept the fact that
he said, but I'm not telling you who or where.
You would want every detail, which is normal, it's normal
to want. I feel like the reason we're tiptoeing around
this is I think we've been pretty We've been pretty
open with how we feel. Don't fuck your cousin. That's
how I feel. I feel that that in my core.
But you can't fight the law on this, Like, legally,
you're allowed to, and we've seen that it doesn't have

(30:55):
that much of a consequence for your children.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
So that's why I think we're stepping on. We can
say how we feel. I ain't.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
I'm not. But don't you know someone Laura that married
their cousin. Yeah? I do. Through friends of friends.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
I know people they're like our parents' age, and they
have children who are our age, and they've been married
since they were like just out of beauty, and that's
their first cousin. So I mean, and don't get me wrong, like,
of course, everyone is kind of like, wow, that's spicy
and very very strange. The kids know their parents, The
kids know their parents and cousins. The kids make jokes
about it. They're very very aware.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
How else, what else do you do? You have to
make a joke about it.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
You've grown up your whole life knowing that your parents
are also cousins. It is very, very very odd. I'm
not discrediting that their relationship didn't hurt anyone.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
There was not an imbalance of power, there was not
any abuse.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
They fell in love in Uni their cousins, they got together,
they have kids.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
The end.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
This is different.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
There is an abuse of power, and there is so
many levels of lying that have happened here, and that's
why this is so much more problematic. And that's why
I have way more of an issue with this situation
than what I do with like two people who consensually
decided they wanted to marry their cousins, no matter how
much we look at that and might think it's weird.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
And at the end of the day, everyone listening is
going to have a judgment on this. But the question
isn't about that. The question is about does she just
tell the husband that's where we're going to come back to,
And I think it is. I would be going and
dissing all this information onto her about why I think
she needs to tell him the reasons I believe, But
then I'm not taking that on board for myself. I'm
not gonna go and be the one that tells the husband.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, I also think that this woman probably needs a
lot of support at the moment. I think that there
is no good outcome in this situation. There is no
good outcome for anyone involved, And yeah, I think it's
just really fucking sad. Question number two, I truly believe
that my ex from ten years ago is who I
am meant to be with. We were really young and
it just wasn't the right time back then. However, over

(32:50):
the years there has been multiple times when we have
talked about getting back together. There has just always been
something that's gotten in the way. For example, work commitments,
personal reasons, or one of us has been in a
relationship when the other wasn't. Only a few months ago,
when I was in a short term relationship, I found
out that he was interested again. I'm not in that
relationship anymore, but he has just started seeing someone.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
What do I do?

Speaker 2 (33:14):
No matter how much I try to convince myself I'm wrong,
my gut keeps telling me that it's him and it
will always be him who I am meant to be with.
Should I try and talk to him about this? If so,
what the hell do I say? Or just wait and
see if time brings us back together again. We didn't
end things on bad terms and have always stayed friends
over the years, and I've always felt that there has

(33:34):
been a connection between us. Is it just the one
that got away and it's time to let that go?

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Oh? Okay, I have strong feelings about this, so do I?

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (33:43):
I wonder if I was the same my feelings, I yes,
tell him my feelings are one hundred percent. Give it
a go, because what have you got to lose. You
either go back and it works and it's amazing and
it's the right time, or you go back and you're.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
Like, whoa, what were we thinking? Thinking? Not for us?
But I can go you one thing.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
If you don't have that conversation and you don't try,
you've been thinking about this for ten years, you were
going to think about it for another ten years, twenty years.
If you meet someone else, it's always going to be
in the back of your mind, whether you've romanticized the idea,
Like there's a huge possibility that you have. You've forgotten
why you broke up and you've just remembered the amazing things.
We're all guilty of romanticizing in past relationships. But maybe

(34:22):
you haven't, and maybe there is something really amazing there
and it was the wrong time. Because I do think
timing can play a lot into situations and relationships.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
I totally I know we could not be on the
more same page with this. I do think there's probably
a very good chance that you have romanticized how perfect
this person is for you over the past ten years,
how they're the one that got away. But you have
to have a conversation about it. You have to lay
your cards on the table, say exactly how you feel
and explain to him that you want to have another

(34:54):
shot at the relationship and see if that is reciprocated.
And if it's not reciprocated, then you need to mentally
close that door because if you keep it open indefinitely
hoping that one time timing is going to align for
the two of you, you will never ever ever allow
yourself to be invested in another relationship because no relationship
is ever going to live up to the fantasy of

(35:15):
what you have created, also to the time in which
you had with your ex. Because sometimes we compare new
relationships with old relationships. You're comparing someone who you've never
met before to someone who you've had now a decade
of relationship with because he's also been your friend. So
no one's ever going to live up to that. And
so I think, even though he's just started seeing someone,

(35:37):
it's time and he will make the decision. Okay, yeah,
well I'm going to give this a shot or I'm not.
And I really want to say and I say this
from personal experience. Sometimes what you think a relationship could
be the second time around is actually just the nail
in the coffin, the reaffirmation that you needed that the
relationship doesn't work as a romantic relationship. And I say

(35:59):
this because in my twenties, I dated someone for almost
six years and I was convinced that they were the
person I was supposed to marry. The first night I
met him, I came home to my mom and I said, Mum,
I met the man I'm gonna marry tonight. And we
persevered through so much in that relationship to try and
make it work.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
We broke up and for.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Another six years, like I held onto this idea that
he was the man I was going to be with.
Right And I'm talking like I had another long term
relationship in there. I lived with him like it wasn't
like I didn't date, like I was like very committed,
but he was always there in the back of my
head that we were going to end up together. And
maybe a year before I did The Bachelor, we actually

(36:41):
gave it another shot and it just wasn't. It just
wasn't all the things that I had kind of tried
to forget that were happening in our relationship. You know,
when we very first were together for that six years,
they kind of was still there. And like all the
things that I thought he was so incredible about, he
is incredible. He's a great guy, but he just wasn't
the great guy for me and our life. I'd moved on.

(37:01):
The things I thought I wanted were different to what
I wanted back then, and it just didn't work.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
But I'm so grateful.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
I am so grateful that we gave it that shot,
because if we hadn't, I think I would still have
a bit of a pin for him.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
And this is what I want to say.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
You need a definitive answer, because I genuinely feel sorry
for you, because I've been in a situation too, Laura,
for that long where you've thought, maybe we're supposed to
be together, it wasn't the right time. There is nothing
worse than that being in the back of your head.
You don't ever fully move on, you don't ever fully
immerse yourself in your current relationship. And if you think
in your gut, which you said, I think in my
gut we're meant to be together, well that's not fair

(37:36):
to whether you're with then, and you're never going to
make that work if your mind is with someone else,
Go figure that shit out. Ten years is a long
time of back and forth, actually long. You said that
you've gone back and forth multiple times talking about getting
back together, But then you've said, what do I say
to him?

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Just own it? Just say do you feel what I feel?

Speaker 1 (37:55):
Because for ten years I have tried to move on,
but I always come back to you, is something here
or not? Because I just want to know, because it's
the uncertainty that does your head in life, the not knowing,
and I personally think life is too short. Don't get
your answer so you can close the chapter or move on.
And the only other thing that interests me here is
you've said recently, I found out he was interested. Again.

(38:17):
I'm wondering what that means, because that doesn't sound like
he has come to you and said, let's give it
a shot.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
I found out he's interested.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
I'm almost wondering if someone, a mutual friend, has said
something like, you know, I think that there could be
something there still, it just didn't sound very convincing.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
But you have literally nothing to lose. You don't have him.
What it does she does.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
The thing that she has to lose is the friendship
because she's migrated this like romantic relationship into a ten
year friendship. But the thing I really want to reiterate
to you is that you are kidding yourself because you're
not friends, because you don't romantically pine over your friends.
So either have the conversation and then sever the relationship
if it doesn't work out, like if he says, I'm

(38:56):
actually not into you, I just want to stay friends. Sorry,
I'm really invested in my new or whatever it is.
You have to put on your big girl panties and say, Okay,
I think it's probably best for us if we don't
speak for quite a while, you know, and you need
to go no contact because it's the only way that
you're going to break those neurons in your brain that
tells you that you're connected to him.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
You're wired to him.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
I remember this quote like when I was back in
my Instagram hashtag quote era, and.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
It was I wish I knew you in that time.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
The right relationship at the wrong time is simply the
wrong relationship. And it is so true because you can
keep hoping that the right relationship is going to align
and it just if it never does, it's never the
right relationship.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Okay, kids, sit down, Mama has a story. So my friend,
a very good friend. She is my age, so thirty six,
thirty seven, thirty four, thirty five, whatever, No, thirty.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
Six ety seven.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
She was married really young. She got married eighteen nineteen
to her high school sweetheart, and you know, they felt
meant to be. That's why they got married. And they
spent a couple of years together living not in a city,
like a little bit inland. I don't want to give
anything away, but anyway, so nothing wrong with their life,
great life, everything that they wanted to do. And then
they just realized, and I think she realized more so,

(40:10):
oh gosh, there's nothing wrong with this relationship. I love
you so much, but my mind and my thoughts are elsewhere.
Like I think I want more in life, and I
want to go different. I want to go travel, I
want to do this and this and study and move
different cities. And he was distraught because he's like, wow,
I thought this was forever. Anyway, they divorced. They broke up,
and they got a divorce, and she moved to the
city and started do all these things she wanted to do,

(40:32):
and years went past.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
They weren't in contact. Years.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
She had a baby with somebody else, and then that
didn't work out, so she was doing single mum life.

Speaker 3 (40:41):
And then one.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
Day, this is like a movie, she was in a
supermarket in the New Pound that she'd moved to again,
so far away from wherever they lived.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
She was in a supermarket and she was walking down
the aisland.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
She ran into her first husband, her high school sweetheart,
and they hadn't spoken in year. Speaking of romanticize, yeah,
it was like ten years or something.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
Caught up because it was not. They didn't end badly.
How I yep, this.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
Is my son, like you know, like crazy crazy catch up.
And then they were like, well, you know, we should
catch up sometimes. So they caught up. They are remarried
now with another child. They fell back in love and
realized that it was the perfect example of the right
person at the wrong time, and that doesn't happen often,
and they have everything they wanted now. They're back in

(41:24):
the house they wanted with the kids, the family life,
beautiful relationship, and it was just they refound each other
at the right time. So I am a believer that
you should go and chase this for sure, but not sorry,
not chase it, investigate it, but you have to be
ready to close the door if it because that's that
is a fairy tale, you know, the story I just told.

Speaker 3 (41:43):
It totally is.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
But also the thing that I think is important to
take from that is that they went and they lived
their lives hundreds. They didn't sit in the you know,
in relationships being like, oh my god, I wish I
was still with my ex.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
Yeah, they lived their lives.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
She had a kid with someone else, she was in
other relationships, and then they rekindled and then they made
that decision. But it's the pining over a love that
you can't have that means you're robbing yourself from a
relationship that you deserve. So either have the conversation or
if you can't have the conversation, you need to go
cold turkey and sever the friendship then because it's simply

(42:15):
just not a friendship.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
I agree. Okay, question number three.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
I'm planning on moving out with my boyfriend and our
two mates in three months to Sydney. For reference, we've
been dating for six years and I've been friends with
his mates the whole time. I've been looking at places,
and I'm just kind of confused as to how couples
pay rent when they're sharing with friends. Are we expected
to split the payment evenly by all four of us,
even though my boyfriend and I are going to be

(42:40):
sharing the same room. Obviously bills are paid per person,
but I feel like it's kind of unfair that we
only get half a room. I haven't moved out before,
so I'm not sure what roommate etiquette is.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
Oh, I remember these days. This is a tricky one,
and it's so dependent.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
There's no black and white. It's so dependent on the
house you move it into rooms you're moving into and
do you get non suite? Do you get parking? Is
there any one parking spot? Who's getting that? These people
are going to pay more, right, But from what I
experienced and what I saw, if there's a three bedroom
house and there's a single person and then a single
person and then a double two people in one room,

(43:17):
the two people don't pay the three hundred each, but
they definitely do pay more. You don't split the three
hundred to one point fifty each because that's not fair
for everybody else. But you also aren't getting in an
entire room. So what I used to see when I
was looking for rentals, it was always, for example, someone
would say, hey, if you're looking for this room and
you're a.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
Single person, it's four hundred. If you are a couple that.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Are moving in, it's six point fifty for example, or
six hundred. So it's you're paying more, but you're not
paying exactly double more. You still get a bit of
a discount because you are only getting half a room,
but it's not fair to everyone else in the house
for you to pay half.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Well, you're not getting half a room. You're still getting
a whole house.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
You're getting half a room each, but you're getting the
entire house to live in it to accommay.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
And then usually the person in a house that has
the double room usually gets a better bathroom or an
on suite. There's usually stuff attached with the bigger, better room,
so you definitely have to pay more, just so you know.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
So I had this relatively recently. I mean I was
pregnant with Matt living and sharing still. Yeah, well Matt,
when I was pregnant with Marlee, Matt and I shared
and we lived with housemates. I know when you say
that was five years ago. When you say recently, I
thought someone was moving in like a.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
Year ago, we still had recently.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Well, I guess, like as in when you think about
us having kids and stuff like that is still pretty recent.
We are Not only was there two people in the room,
there were three people in the room. I was pregnant
living in that house. But we the way we did
it is we had a three bedroom house and our
room was the room that had the on suite, so
it was already a slightly more expensive room, which meant
that Matt was already paying a little bit more money.

(44:47):
And then I paid an additional two hundred dollars when
I moved in a week, so I was paying for
the space that I was occupying, but I wasn't paying
additional for the bedroom that he was already in. I
was just paying to make everybody else's rent go down,
so Matt's rent stayed the same. I paid an additional
one hundred dollars of each of their rents, which I
think was a fair additional payment, and it made their

(45:07):
rent super affordable, so they were all for it. But
I guess the big thing is is, don't look at
this as though you're only getting half a room because
it's actually a pain in the ask because I'm sure
so many people have experienced this when you move into
a house with a friend and then their boyfriend or
their girlfriend starts coming over all the fucking time, and
they're not paying anything. Yes, they're sleeping in their bedroom,

(45:29):
but they are occupying your space. They are occupying the
lounge room, the kitchen, the fridge, the electricity, all that stuff, so.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
The noise, the air pollution, and also just like you're
there in a toilet pays and the toilet if they've
got ibs more toilet paper, thank you, that's it.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
Maybe you buy your own toilet paper.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
But I do think, yeah, I think as a couple,
you obviously have to pay more. Do I think that
it's it's double what an individual person pays. No, but
I do think it needs to be a considerable amount more.
And I think just had that conversation with them of like, hey, guys,
if we're putting in three hundred dollars each and there
is a better bedroom, then I think it's pretty obvious
that we would take that as the couple who is

(46:08):
paying the extra additional money if all the bedrooms are
the same or we're expected to take a bedroom that's
not as good as, like, you know, the top bedroom,
then we'll pay a little bit less and we'll work
it out. But I think that that's just a very
open conversation that you have to have now while you're looking.
You definitely can't have it when you find the place
that you love, because everybody in their head has the

(46:28):
amount that they're okay to spend. But the problem is
is that if you're going to spend a little bit more,
so if you guys are both going to spend two
fifty each, you're also expecting everybody else's rent to go up.
So that's why you have to be aware of what
it is that you either three or four of your
five you have a moving into this house.

Speaker 3 (46:45):
I'm mutually okay with spending.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
My number one piece of advice here, having lived all
over the world with people I know, with strangers, like
so many different kinds of roommates.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
Yeah, same with homeown.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
I've lived with the homeowner, when is it I would
hate that, like so many different types, and I've lived
with partners. The one thing that I will say is
have every conversation done and everyone on the same page.
And understood about finances completely, not just the rent, but
how are you going to do the groceries, how you're
going to do the bills? Everything needs to be sorted
before you move in, because I guarantee you there will

(47:20):
be big problems and uncomfortable situations if you don't have those,
even with friends like you think that my best friend.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
Whatever.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
Money, Money is a crazy thing and does crazy thing
to people.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Yes, I think especially with housemates. I think like housemates
can really be or they don't. Sometimes it doesn't end
up in big conversations, but it ends up in like
a lot of resentments and.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
The tension you can cut with.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
And I hate it all the fucking passive aggressive texts
that you receive and you're like, fuck off, just say
it to my face.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
Me home in five ou.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Why eat my fucking NATCHO is the fridge that I
left over? I was saving this for the last week.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
Britt.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
How did it go when you lived in the house
with the homeowner?

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (47:55):
He was great, right, he was lovely, But I not
once ever I felt comfortable. I never felt like I
was in my own home. And I was paying a
lot of money for that because it was a beautiful
home in BONDI like that was when I was like,
I'm going to live in I do know that.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
I was about to say, did you fuck him?

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Then I was like, no, I know you remember now,
definitely did not. You never felt like it was your home.
You Even when I came over, it was always a
little bit like we were in Daddy's house.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
Don't go on, Daddy. I can't get that amage out
of my head.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
Now. I can hear beer Daddy like in his relationship
Daddy vibe Beard Daddy. No, but it was I never
felt a home. I don't recommend living with the homeowner
if you can avoid it, because even though they want
to make you they're like being home, it's yours, it's
not yours.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
They own it and they're there. Yeah, and they're there,
and you just can't. You can't treat it like it's
you're in space. Yeah, I agree. I've lived in every
every variation of housemates I've lived with.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Or you don't want to have sex in there too.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
I remember once I was having sex and that was
really loud, and I was like, oh my god, Daddy's
going to hear tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
Yeah. I don't recommend I've had every variation. I've lived
with girlfriends, I've lived with strangers. I've lived with girlfriends
and my boyfriend's moved in. I've lived with a boyfriend
and friends. I've been pregnant living with housemates. Like, seriously,
I could not have lived in more variations of like
housemate living arrangements. And I would just say, like, I
completely agree with you, Britt. Having all conversations about money

(49:14):
now is the best way of going about it, and
you can just gauge it. I think if you're worried
about like overpaying, I think you can say, hey, guys,
I've just been looking online at how most places seem
to divvy up payments.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
This seems to be what is standard. How do you
feel about this? How you cool with that? And then
get their opinions.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
They might say, oh, actually, nah, we're all going to
pitch in three hundred and we think it needs to
be fair and even, and then you decide whether you're
okay with that, And if you're not okay with it,
then maybe you and your boyfriend just move out together.

Speaker 5 (49:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
And the food shit's a big one. I can't stress
that enough.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
People are really funny about food I've lived with people
that have written stuff like their name on stuff like
the butter. Don't use the scrape of that butter because
I'll know if there's any bread crumbs in the butter,
they'll know you used it. That's, you know, speaking from experience.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Also, what I do want to say is you're living
with a whole heap of boys. And what I've discovered
when I live with a lot of obviously live in
house with my boyfriend and four of his mates, well
they're gross, but also they eat so much more than
you eat, and you end up bankrolling their appetite, and
it is the most frustrating and also just financially depleting thing.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
I really struggled with it.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
And I would have to pitch in the same amount
to groceries and they would fucking eat everything. So I
would say consider that because maybe just you and your
partner go for groceries and then you have some communal
stuff like you know, the milk or the butter or whatever.
But I think if you're all just doing like group groceries,
you will find that you are paying twice as much
because most of the time guys eat more than girls.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
They just do him to do a shelf, each shelf,
each pantry each that's it. That's my shit. There's my milk.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Whatever.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
You get your own butter, you get your own milk.
I agree, I agree. I think it's time anyway. Yeah,
that is it from us.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Guys. Please, if you have your questions, keep them rolling
into the Instagram. On the interweb lifeun Cut podcast, just
put ask on cut the top. You'll always say anonymous.
I promise, even if you haven't sex with your cousin,
we don't look at who you are.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
We don't look. And also I need an aftermath of this.
I have to know what you do if you tell
the husband. If you don't tell the husband, I just oh,
I won't be able to sleep ever again.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
You've done me over one hundred percent. I'm going to sleep,
but I'm also gonna think about it. I'm going to
think about you every day about it. That's worse about
the cousins, say, sex with cousins, what do we dream
about that?

Speaker 3 (51:24):
Now? I'm glad I don't.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
I'm not close to my cousins, so like I mean,
I yeah, like they like them, they're lovely people, but
like I don't see them enough to ever have to
worry about these.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
I remember having a crush on my cousin when I
was like six or seven years old. You know when
you're with that now, yeah, I don't care. When you're
six and seven, you've got no concept of who they are.
And he was like, oh he was a girl. He
was like ten years older than me, and you're like,
he's a hotty. D's a teenager. You know, he's at
high school. And for me, he was just like this
person we used to hang out with. But I remember
it wasn't a crush crush, like I liked him, you're
six years old, But it was like, you know, when

(51:55):
you're Marley likes to hang out with guys, you know
what they like.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
I always I take it back.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
I had to crush my cousin too, but he was
my stepdad's sister's son, so not technically related.

Speaker 3 (52:05):
No, you've got no idea I could have had sex
with him.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
I reckon most people listening, or a lot of people
would understand what we're talking about. Have that crush on
someone in your family that you don't know, No, but
when you've got no concept, you're young enough that you
don't know who they are. But none of us are
having sex with our cousins.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
I think you get over a certain age and that
all kind of falls by the wayside.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
Kisha is horrified. Horrified.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
Imagine if your cousin was Chanting Taina, you would fuck
your cousin.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
If your cousin was Jason, Mamo or Laurie, we would.
You'd do it. You'd bend the rules, wouldn't you. All Right,
that's it from us. I like and subscribe later.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
Review anyway, you.

Speaker 5 (52:43):
Know the drill mum te Doug tee friends and share
the love because we love it. There are no ways

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Ask Uncut - She Cheated With Her Second Cousin

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ask Uncut - She Cheated With Her Second Cousin