Ask Uncut - Tit For Tat, Double Ups and Blowies - Life Uncut

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
welcome back to another episode Life Uncut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany,
and this is ours gun cut where we answer you're deep,
you're dark, and you're burning questions.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
All right, I'm just going to come clean again.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Why were you so dirty before?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Remember just a couple of weeks ago where I admitted
that I hadn't made a grave error. Yes, I do
by giving Kishra a hard time about her sensory light
vibe this.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Do you know why? Because Keisha comes to this this
episode with the most obscure vibes, but it's almost like
she's ahead of her time, so she'll come with an
obscure vibe and then three weeks later or a month later,
it's in trend.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
It's not in trend. It just comes to the fact
that I'm like, oh, I could have used that product
at that time.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
You also started following that installation floor guy, haven't you,
britt No, this is the.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
One thing you haven't influenced me on. I don't even
know his name.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
People started sending me other accounts that are similar and
they're like, I think you'd like this, and I'm like
you are damn right, I do enjoy this.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
No, So it was a little sensory stick on lights
in case you missed it. And then I laughed Atkisha
and I said, it sounds like a really old person thing.
And then I stayed over at Kesha's house and as
I in the middle of the night went to Wei,
I thought, Wow, these are brilliant sensory lights.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
I was like, I need to get them. Can you
call them sensor lights because sensory lights means you touch them,
They're good for your sensory.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Everyone listening knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, it happened again.
So last weekend, if you guys saw on Instagram, I
had a real mishap. It was very early in the morning.
I had a really big shoot day where there were
and when I say shoot day, it's like I'm saying
shoot not to sound like a wanker. I wasn't going
to shoot myself for content. It was like I've been
hired for a big shoot. They'd shut down a restaurant,

(01:49):
They'd hired a crew of twenty people. It was a
really big thing. I could not not make this day
because it would put so many people out and a
lot of people would lose a lot of money. And
now I'm saying this because it is important.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
You're like, I'm not a whanker, but I'm so I
cannot cancel. Thousands of people needed me too important.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
No, but it's like the shoot was based around it,
like I can't. You cannot let a crew down.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
It was a campaign shoot for brand.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah, it was a huge campaign shoot anyway, So the
makeup ass was at my house with my sister. She
was there. I went to get coffees and I was
on the FaceTime to Ben and I was walking down
the street and I just buckled, like my foot just
gave way, and I felt this really instant pain and
then before well, no, I didn't.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
If only she had the sense of lights, sensory lighte.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
It was it was daylight, guys. And so I looked
down and the pain at that moment didn't equal what
I was looking at. It was this really surreal moment
because I just felt like I'd maybe stepped on a rock.
For a second, I was like ow. And then I
looked down and there was a giant rusted nail embedded
in my foot, like so deep in my foot, and
I had shoes on. I do not know how it's happened.

(02:53):
And I stopped, dropped my coffees on the ground, sat
down and I was like, oh my god, I said
to Ben, and I was like, look, what's just happened.
And I'm gonna put the photo up for you guys
to see again on Life on Cut. But there was
this huge nail. He's like, what the hell? And I'm like,
he's like, can you pull that out? And I was
like wiggling it and it was stuck. It was like
it was hooked in there.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
It was like a massive tetanus ridden nail.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
It was.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
It couldn't have been more rusty.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
I reckon it was from nineteen twenty.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Like it had little spurs sticking off it because it
had rusted so much and that's what gripped on inside.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
It looked like a drill bit.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yeah, it was quite thick, wasn't it thick?

Speaker 2 (03:26):
And like it wasn't a tiny air with a point.
It was thick, and it was like it would had
melted in like what are those licorice pieces that are
like swiveled, you know, like oh yes, yeah, it was
like twisted the whole length of the way and it
was so rusty.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
What I loved about this is because when you you
shared it on your stories, right, that's how I saw
and I was like, brit looks like she's been crying.
And then as it went on and You're like, I've
got something in my foot. Because I was kind of like,
you're like, here we go. No, she loves ad Mayo.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
I was like, let's see how bad it really is.
And then when I saw it.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
I was like, oh my fucking god, go to hospital.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
As it was, I mean, if you don't laugh, you cry,
And I did laugh and cry. But I was sitting
on the street and captured the content and I was
like trying to get this nail out because in my head,
I thought, okay, cool, there's an nailing there. It's going
to pull straight out. It'll probably hurt for a second,
and I'm going to pull it. And I'm really gentle
at the start because I thought it would just slip out.
Didn't I'm yankee start to yank and I was like,

(04:21):
oh my god, I'm going to have to go to
a hospital and have this removed. And then I realized
I had forty minutes to get to this shoot. I
was like I cannot go to a hospital. What am
I going to do? I called my sister. She came
running down and I was like, can you pull this out?
She tried to pull it out. She's like, bro, that
is stuck in there. And I was like, nothing is
stopping me from getting to work anyway. I bit my
leap strapped in and I shredded this thing out on
my foot and got on with my day. That's not

(04:43):
the point of the story. The point of story two
points one. I reckon. I had four and a half
thousand people right to me to get a technis shot.
I got right to me. That's how much I believe.
How many messages you got.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
I was one of those people.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yes everyone, and I was like, guys, AI have a
in a shop, but I'll get a booster. Yes, I know. Okay. Anyway,
it was just funny because a day later I got
a message that just hit home so hard, and I
was like, bravo. Somebody alife literally wrote to me. You said, wow,
imagine if you had Kesha steel cap boots. That never
would have happened. I was like, fucking too right, too right.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
It is true. You do need to apologize Keisha again.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
No it's not what an apology you have ordered. I
have ordered. I used Keisha twenty.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
I'm pretty Actually, can we just like do a little
flashback because you shut on the steel cap boots pretty hard?

Speaker 2 (05:34):
But that's my point.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
Oh yeah, I know, I just want to revisit it.
Here it is.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
They have become like everyday shoe. If I'm not at work,
I'm wearing these boots. They're the best. I don't you
can't mark my recommendations anymore because in two weeks time
you're gonna be saying that the best thing you've ever heard.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
I think you can. Like, wearing steel caps as a
normal everyday shoe is weird because it's definitely made for
like protection on building sites and ovations. But great reco okay, yeah,
but like there is. Honestly, I think one of my
first qualities is when I can say that I'm wrong

(06:11):
and I can appreciate something. I should have had steel
cap boots on at seven am on that book at
seven am in BONDI on the morning of my phone.
I never know when.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
You're gonna need them. That's why you should just wear
them all the time. You protect it.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
It's true, isn't that like the whole premise of it.
It's like, you know, safety equipment, you don't need it
till you need it. They're not becoming an everyday shoot.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
I met Keisha at the dog park the other day.
She had a steel caps on. I was like, why
are you wearing me? No nails in my heels?

Speaker 1 (06:37):
All right, guys, let's get into the vibes and unsubscribe
to today. Keisha, what is your vibe?

Speaker 4 (06:42):
I have a vibe this week that Look, I loved this.
I think I could have loved it more though, because
I have read the book or I listened to the.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Book that it was based off of.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
It's the Thursday Murder Club movie that is brand new
on Netflix.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
It's currently the number one film.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Sorry, I loved it.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
I really liked it too.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
But one thing that I think a lot of people
who have read the book that was written by Richard
Osmond that the movie was based off of, we all
kind of felt as though it was a little bit rushed.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
You know.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
I've seen a lot of reviews around the fact that
the first half of the film I think pretty well
reflected the book, and then the second half kind of
felt like they were trying to wrap it all up
pretty quickly.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
And I don't know if i'd feel that way if
I hadn't have read the book, so it probably wouldn't
have Okay, And I say that because I haven't read
the book. I enjoyed the film for what it was,
but it is very hard for any book adaptation to
hit the mark, like whether it's a movie or a series.
It's like, you know, I felt similarly to Outlander, Ah right,

(07:41):
I say.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
I say.

Speaker 4 (07:42):
Some people were saying that they wish it was made
into a TV series so that they could go a
little bit deeper. But it's got an amazing cast. It's
got Helen Mirriam and Pierce Brosnan, and I recently spoke
about Mobland, that show that they've worked together on. There
was actually a third person from Mobland that was in
Thursday Murder Club too, So I wonder if they're actors
that really like to work together and they've got a

(08:02):
good vibe.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
So they're doing a couple of different projects.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
But yeah, as I said, it was based off of
the novel written by Richard Osman, and I've spoken about
him before because he's like these English TV guys, so
he made a lot of different shows.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
He's produced a lot of different TV.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Shows, and he's the host of The Rest Is Entertainment,
So it's this podcast that came off of The Rest
Is History.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
Then they've got the rest his politics and they've actually vibed. Yes,
I love it.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
I listen to most episodes every week like it's in
my regular schedule. And they actually did an amazing episode
about the Read Comedy Festival that came out a couple
of days ago. So this is a bit of a
double up vibe. They're both Richard OsmAnd based this Read
Comedy Festival. It's in Saudi Arabia. The episode is called
The Comedians Crazy for Saudi Cash, and it's all about

(08:49):
these comedians, like some of the most famous comedians in
the world are going to perform at this comedy festival
in Saudi Arabia, and a lot of people are saying, like,
you're getting paid by the Saudi government. You're basically doing,
you know, tourism, and you're kind of you're almost working
for the Saudi government because you're trying to make out
that you know this place that you go to have

(09:11):
a comedy show and not necessarily somewhere where there's human
rights abuses, and it was just.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
A fascinating unpacked for the episode.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
So yeah, it's a little bit of a double up
vibe from me this week, both based around Richard Osmond,
but the Thursday Murder Club movie on Netflix.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
It's a really nice watch.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
And I think it's something that we don't see much of.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
It's about these retirees.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
They're in a retirement village called Cooper's Chase and they
kind of get this new lease on life by trying
to solve unsolved cold case murders and that kind of thing.
And so they all get together and they kind of
utilize different skills that each person has, and it's about
their friendship and about you know, that bond, the camaraderie,
I guess. And then something happens to their specific retirement home.

(09:54):
There's a murder and they go about investigating who actually
did the murder.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Can we just sit in the fact that people don't
appreciate Peers Brosen enough?

Speaker 1 (10:03):
He is sart No, do you know what I've always
thought is hard done by, Like we need to appreciate
him more.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
I think he's not given enough credit. I mean, I
was gonna say for his looks, he's acting, but his
looks and I re when I watched this, it was
what I was thinking the whole time. I was like,
he's just such a handsome man like for me, I'd
take him over George Clooney because they're in the same category,
same age group, same level of like fame. Have a
look at that stare. He is so hot and you

(10:35):
should see now he's a beautiful silver fox in this
TV show, like full head of gray hair. He's smoke show.
I think that people do I think he No, we
don't appreciate enough. I feel like we don't appreciate Helen
Mirror enough.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
Like she's someone who is such a phenomenal actress, but
she's also aged in a way that we don't typically
see in Hollywood.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
But I wouldn't bang her. I'd take Pierce now. First,
one more thing about Piers. Sorry, he's been married to
his wife Keeley for like twenty five.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
Well that's why he wasn't such a heart throb in
the same way as what Clooney was like. And he
was all over those net what it was it? Not
nes cafe? What was the thing on Espress? All over
those espresso ads with me.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
I'm giving you my vibe. My vibe is a hair tool.
I've been using it for probably the last year and
it's taking me too long to vibe. To be honest,
it's Mermaid. So you guys all know Mermaid hair tools
DOI one, yes, but this is not what the tool is.
So Mermaid is like they're all pink, all the tools
of Pink. So you've probably seen it advertised around, but
it's called the m Iconic hair dryer. But it is

(11:37):
like this little hair dryer that bends like a confoulding heart,
so it's really good for travel. It comes with these attachments,
so it comes with a normal hair attachment, but it
comes with these two I guess it channels like the
air rap, like it is a form of an air rap.
So they're curlers and they're just magnetic, so it just
like you just pop off the end it magnetizes on

(11:58):
and it just blows its air and you just literally
I've never seen an easier tool. You just hold it
next to your head, hold the hair and it just
wraps it up into a perfect curl and then you
take it out. I can have a beautiful head of
curls in like five minutes, So it has all these
attachments like normal hair dryer, two curly things, and the diffuser.
It's called the Amiconic hair dryer and it's two hundred

(12:18):
and ninety nine dollars. But I have used it every
day and I have tried it for a very long
time before I recommend something.

Speaker 4 (12:25):
That's interesting that they've kind of done an air rap equivalent,
because I get asked I bought an air rap, and
I get asked a lot if I think it's worth it,
And my honest answer is, unless you're using it every day,
the price is pretty up there.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
I have used an air rap before and I didn't
love it like the Actually.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
I think it's fine, But would I spend it again? No,
I have one and it sits in my cupboard up
the very top, and I think I've used it one.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Sorry, I thought we do have burned book. She has
gone bald. Sorry, I yeah, lovely hair in a bun.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
It's as nice as my hair is ever going to be. Like,
I've actually got some. It's a change because it stopped
falling out this pregnancy and you still come for me.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
I thought, I thought that's where we're in the friendship.
I thought we're making jokes about jokes. That's what a
joke is. It's funny and it's not real. If it
was real, I wouldn't say it, as we all know.
The problem is it is real.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
See, Okay, all right, Look, I have a recommendation, which
I'm sure a lot of you heard about now because
it is number two in movies on Netflix.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
At the moment.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
In mind, It's not K pop demon hunters like old
old Jawsers. It is a Netflix true crime documentary. It's
called Unknown Number The High School Catfish. I want to
be careful about describing this to you guys, because a
lot of people will be familiar with the case. It
only kind of came out in twenty twenty two. It's
about a young girl whose name was Lauren and she

(13:44):
was receiving literally hundreds of thousands of messages from someone
who was cyberbullying her and her and her boyfriend. At
the time. She was only thirteen, and it was investigated.
And I don't want to give away who it was
in case you're not familiar with me. Yeah, definitely don't,
because it is Look, I think the thing is is
if you do know the case and you do know
the outcome, of this. You probably won't be as shocked

(14:04):
watching the one and a half hour documentary you know
on this, but if you don't know, it will truly
leave you feeling sick. I think if that's how you
come to the conclusion of what this story is. It's
a true case. Obviously, the person who is the catfish,
the person who was found to be harassing and the
bully behind this little thirteen fourteen year old girl at

(14:27):
the time. She is now free from jail, she only
just recently got out, and they're both part of this documentary.
It's really fascinating. But part of it as well as
is like just how much this type of cyber bullying,
when there's anonymity involved in it, how much it can escalate,
and how much it's actually it's not always surrounding, you know.
I guess what I'm trying to say is like, when

(14:48):
you're in that, you probably think the person who's doing
it is someone who hates you, or you think it's
someone who's from school who has something against you, Like
you would spend so much of your life trying to
figure out who is this person that's saying these all
things and the things that were being sent to her
were truly horrific. They were super sexualized towards her boyfriend,
saying that they were having an affair, basically that the

(15:08):
boyfriend didn't want to be with her. But then there
were also things around suicidal ideation, saying like she should
go kill herself, selling that she was ugly, telling her
just the most heinously awful things that you could think
that you could say to someone with what we're being
written in this. But I guess the thing that's like
the real clincher of this is that often when it
comes to cyber bullying, and as we know from the

(15:30):
doco that you spoke about the sweet Bobby one Bred
from quite a while ago, it can be from people
who you know and who are actually you seemingly have
great relationships with. Well usually is yeah, and there is
just this six psychology around control, around connection. That's what
this explores. It's fascinating this hour and a half. I've

(15:50):
literally not gotten quite to the end, but I know
what's happened. I watched her last night and I was hooked. Britt.
You didn't love it as much, but that's because I
think you know too much about the story.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
I did love it but I think that what I
was gonna say is I did know the story, because
you guys know, I love all this kind of stuff,
so when they come out, I always listened to pods
on it or whatever, So I knew the story. So
I wasn't, as I guess, I didn't have the shock
and surprise value. But I think if you know the story,
you'll still enjoy it because the thing that I hadn't
had access to before was the actual emotional responses from

(16:20):
all the parties involved. And I think that that is
what So even if you know the story, that is
still so surprising to sit and watch them speak. And Laura,
I know you've just still got the end to watch,
but you're gonna be even more blown away at the
end by just some of the responses that are given
on tape by the people involved. It's a bit like
leaves you a bit like bewildered. You're so confused as

(16:42):
to the how and the why. And I guess, yeah,
I knew it, and I still really enjoyed it. I
just didn't have the eye value.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, And I think I mean, even though I haven't
seen that last little bit of the end, I look
really late last night, not like ten minutes off yet
I know about fifteen minutes off, and I was like,
I fucking need to go to bed, like I feel
so unwell. But I was like, I'm gripped. The thing is,
I think it really to me just shows like how
psychologically effed up the people are. Who I mean, we

(17:10):
obviously know that if you're going to send tens of
thousands of messages to one person cyber bullying them, but
you would think it would come from someone who is
a child or doesn't have the emotional capacity or whatever
it is. But this is, like, it is so psychologically
dark what happened in this And then just to think
like how that then impacts everyone's life for the rest
of their life, Like this little girl was only fourteen

(17:31):
when this kind of all absolved. So yeah, I'm not
gonna give any more away. Go and watch it. It's
fascinating and it will make you feel a bit disturbed afterwards.
I'm pretty sure. All right, let's get into the questions.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
Okay, Question number one, should I get my husband a
Father's Day present or organize a day for him if
he didn't bother getting me a Mother's Day present or
plan anything for me. I love the tip for Tash.
I had to really show how upset I was for
him to eventually, and I'm talking weeks later, buy me
a new pajama set that I had already asked for
for Mother's Day. He barely made an effort to do anything.

(18:06):
We went for a walk to get a coffee at
the cafe, but there was like no planned brunch or
lunch or anything fancy. I was furious. I ended up
doing the groceries with my toddler by myself, and she
had the biggest meltdown. I was so embarrassed and upset.
My daughter is two and a half, so she's too
young to know what Mother's Day is, and I've been
pregnant with our second child. He didn't even tell our

(18:26):
daughter to wish me a happy Mother's Day. I've told
him that the bare minimum I expect is that our
children know that it's Mother's Day, that I get a present,
and that's something is planned. I don't want to stoop
to his level and not make an effort, as I
hope that leading by example will make him make an effort.
But I'm fucking angry.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
What would you do?

Speaker 2 (18:46):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (18:46):
A part of me is like an eye for an eye.
But then the other part of me is like, remember
it makes everyone blind, so funny, But you say eye
for an eye because I go the opposite. I'm like,
oh no, go above and behind. This is how you
get the guilt in him. This is how you like,
this is how I show up for you.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
No.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
The problem is, though, is that if he then falls
below expectation again next year, you're gonna be doubly angry,
right Like, You're gonna be absolutely seething.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
But you got more ammo?

Speaker 1 (19:11):
You do you have more ammo?

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yeah, that's what it's about in a relationship, healthy level
of like I do more for you.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
I feel like this is really shit for you. I
mean it sucks because obviously you're going to be doing
things for him, but with a bit of a resentment
mixed in because you know it was so upsetting for you.
You had to try so hard. I'm sure you do
majority share, carry the load, the mental load, everything else.
And all you wanted was for him to get your
fucking two year old to make a card and just

(19:41):
buy some pajamas. Like the level of effort is so minimal,
and the fact that he did absolutely nothing and then
when it comes to Father's Day, you're still carrying that
load and you're like, Okay, I'm gonna, you know, do
something for him and make him feel special. I understand
the resentment, and I understand the need and the want
to not do anything right now, and I would feel
exactly the saying, I think, though, this is your time

(20:04):
to be like, Okay, set that aside. That happened, he
did that. I am accepting that he is going to
do better than next year, and he fuck, he better
do better next year. But I would say, go about
Father's Day in the way that you would have if
you weren't angry at him, and you weren't still feeling resentful,
you know, organize a nice lunch, or get him some pajamas,
get him all the things that you wish you had

(20:25):
for your Mother's Day, whatever that looks like, get him
female pajamas. But then I think that there has to
be a conversation pre empting next Mother's Day or even
and I say preempting. Do you know what maybe I
feel in two minds about this part of me is like,
I think, a preemptive conversation so that he knows what
the expectations are. But then the other part of me
is like, you shouldn't have to do that, because having

(20:47):
a preemptive conversation means that you're then carrying the mental
load again. But I do think that you could potentially
save yourself a lot of heartache a massive argument if
you say, hey, you know a month before Mother's Day,
Mother's Day's coming up. You know what happened last year
and it made me really really upset. I don't want
us to be in that same situation. It's really important
to me, and I hope that you make me feel
special this year. That's all you have to say. It

(21:09):
doesn't have to be a big thing, it doesn't have
to be a big, deep conversation. But I think if
you do that, you've set the precedent and you've reminded
him of what that precedent is. And if he fails
in that instance, then man, there's some big conversations to
be had. Brittany hit me.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
I'm petty.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
I know, I am two, No, I am I'm actuallying
to not I'm trying to be better than the petty.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Honestly, I don't have expectations for anything, and I think
that that is why I do it. I think it's
like a protection thing. If you expect nothing, you can't
be disappointed. It doesn't mean you can't be upset, like
you're like, oh, it would have been nice, But I think
that when and you know, I'm not saying it's the
right thing, but it's just what I do. I always
just expect the least or the worst in everything, and
because that way you can only be excited or like

(21:51):
impressed or whatever it is. Having said that, you definitely
need to tell him, and you have. You've told him
how upset you are. You've said you were furious. She
said that, like you've put your boundaries there and your
expectations that you you know, you want a gift at
a minimum, and you want your daughter to know. I
think that they're pretty small things to ask for. I
don't think you're asking for a lot, So I do
want to say that. The question is do I organize

(22:14):
something for him if he didn't do anything for you? Yes, yeah,
I think you do, because at the end of the day,
you are trying to teach your kids. It's as much
about your kids as is about the parent. In a way,
like you are trying to teach your kids appreciation and
gratefulness and love and like all of those things. I
think that that's really important. It's just hard when it's
it's like mums works so hard twenty four hours a

(22:37):
day and you're pregnant with your second like every day.
So it's one thing. Do not feel appreciated in life
generally speaking, But when you know that there's the one
day that you're supposed to be appreciated and you're not
even getting it on that day, like, of course, you're
absolutely devastated.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
You guys might have seen. I mean, I don't know
if you follow her or not, but Amy Gerard she.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Is a Yeah, she had a big moment.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
She's amfluencer. She's also got a radio show. But it
was Mother's Day this year and she got on her
Instagram at the end of Mother's Day and basically was like,
is there not one fucking day in my family where
I can feel appreciated? My husband did nothing and like,
seemingly they have a great relationship, She's always posting about him,
like everyone knows who her husband is. It's not like,

(23:19):
you know, she's just talking about being a parent on there,
and it was pretty fronting. Yeah, it was like, no, present.
I spent all day making lunches and doing grocery shopping
and doing loads of washing. She's like, my day today
has been no different every other day, and not one
person in this fucking house made me feel special. And
I watched that and I was like, that is a
hurt mum. Yeah, that is someone who is hurt underappreciated.

(23:42):
And I totally agree with you, Britt in terms of like,
I don't expect like I'm not a present person, right,
I don't care about my birthday, don't care about Christmas,
don't care about Easter. Like I have never been a
present person and I don't expect anything from anyone. But
that changed when I became mum, and Mother's Day feels
super different to me than any other day. Mother's Day

(24:02):
feels like one day where all the things that you
do every day of the year for everybody else to
make everyone else feel special, you know, because you sacrifice
so much of yourself when you become a parent, but
often more so when you become a mom. It was like,
for me, something in that day felt really important and
I know it's just a date. It could be any day.

(24:23):
I'm not talking about the commercialization of it. What I'm
talking about is just like having your family stop down
and be like, we appreciate you and it's special, and.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Then finish my washing. Yeah, but I appreciate it, make
my dinner.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
But then the other thing is is like, as parents,
where the memory makers. Right, Like when you are a
mum and a dad, you are the ones responsible for
creating memories and moments in your family and you kind
of realize this, Like I had this realization around Christmas.
I was like, Christmas used to feel really magical in
my household growing up. Well that's right, that's because my
mom made it feel magical. It's just a normal day

(24:56):
unless everyone kind of chips in.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
And so that's the same with Mother's Day, right, It
only feels special or magical if the people in your
life actually step up to the plate and do it.
And so that's why I think it's so important to people,
because it's like the one day where someone else is
putting in the effort to make you feel special.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah. But that's why I think, and I go back
to making that statement again, it's like it's as much
as you don't want to, it's for your kids, the
kid much as your husband and so maybe it's just
a card. Maybe you actually don't have to get him
a gift. Maybe you say to your kids, like it's
so important make him something, and that way it's like
you're showing up for him, but you haven't gone and
spent money on this amazing gift, but like you're still
making the effort. And maybe the kids are making a

(25:33):
breakfast in bed or whatever it is. But I wouldn't be.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Literally give him Plato in bed and telling the kids
made it and that's like the special thing you've done.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Yeah, so I would be. I would be doing that.
And then if the next Mother's Day rolls around and
this happens again, then obviously it's it. Yeah, obviously.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
So yeah, do you guys remember the gifts that you
used to make for Mother's Day and Father's Day at school?

Speaker 1 (25:54):
I remember I gave my dad a pet rock once.
Oh we always done a black rock with eyes glued on.
And I'm like, Lola came home from DAYK literally yesterday
with Matt's Father's Day present, Like so it was in
like a bag that she made with a really cute
card and it was hand cream. So it's a little
bottle and they'd obviously made hand cream. In class, they
put the hand cream in the bottle and she'd written

(26:16):
on it all the teacher, I guess has written on
it like what are the ingredients in the hand cream?
Like ginger, lime, blah blah blah. Then last night she
walked around the house giving everyone hand massages. It was lit.

Speaker 4 (26:25):
That's an acts of service, that's a gift and access.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
She shook him upstairs to the bedroom which to give
him a hand massage, made him sit on the bed
have a hand massage.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Do you know what I did? I remember my poor mom,
how she didn't get us so mad. I made her perfume.
So I got a bucket of water in our backyard.
It wasn't even at school. The bucket of water with
just from the hose.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
We've all done this.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
I got flowers, leaves, whatever I could find, put them in,
got a spoon and mixed it up. That wasn't enough.
I needed a perfume bottle. So I tipped out her
perfume organic better, Yeah, her good perfume, so that I
could feel it with my specialty perfume that had made her,
And then I gave it was so chunky, there were
chunks it was disgusting. Gave it to our and I'll

(27:09):
never forget her internal modelogue must have been like, well,
the actual fuck? She just dipped my Ciara down the
drain and I like, put it on. Mom's like manure.
We used to watch you put it on in the morning.
It's like the things that parents do. But I never
forget that was the gift that I just thought was like,
she's gonna beside herself.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Kids suck.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Mine was the macaroni frames as well. I just tell
you one more big while we're here, please spare with
everyone Listening is like fucking move on to the next coach.
This is so funny because everyone will have their own version.
Everyone's gonna have their own version. But while we're here,
this is just another one of my greatest gifts of
all time. And I need to tell you my best
friend Shannon, she was a bridesmaid at my wedding. We

(27:47):
have been best friends since we're five years old. We
always used to make each other presence and try to
outdo each other, and I'll never forget I was like,
she made me a dream catcher, like with string, and
I was like, how do I out do this? And
I was like I know. We were in full full
drive club my family. We used to go into full
drives with other fool drivers and we used to got mountains.

(28:07):
That's what we used to do. That was my childhood
full drive club. And we're at the top of this
mountain and it was a really low, cloud covered day
and I was like fucking bingo. I took the rest
of the veggimi out of a veggimight jar that we
had taken for lunch, cleaned it out, and then I
ran really fast across the mountain and caught cloud. And
then I put the lid on the cloud and I

(28:29):
gave her I said, this is air air, but no,
it wasn't air. I said, this is pure cloud from
the top of a mountain. But it was just an
empty jar with How long did you urt that one?
For those influences made it to money selling fats in jars.
That's the original cloud jugg girl.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
All right, look selfish friends, this is what we're getting
into now. My best friend is also my colleague. She
had a really rough eighteen months a divorce just six
months into her marriage, and then she had a miscarriage.
Since then, she has struggled to be happy for others.
She refuses to contribute to colleagues's wedding or baby gifts,
and when another colleague tried to organize a present for

(29:07):
our pregnant boss, she told her, I'm not paying you money.
You can all fuck off. Wow. She also makes comments
like I wish I got treated like that. I'm not
contributing to that after what I've been through when others
are celebrated. The thing is, when she went through her divorce,
her miscarriage, and birthday, we all supported her with meals,
presents and care packages. But she's never once gotten me anything,

(29:31):
not for my birthday or even when my nun passed away.
I'm finding her selfishness and expectations really hard to handle.
How do I deal with this as her best friend
without being cruel about what she's been through.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
I'm sorry, but going through something personally in your life
doesn't give you the okay to go and be an
absolute mole to other people. Like you don't get to
say to someone else, fuck off, I'm not giving you
anything to somebody else's pregnancy, like, these things just don't correlate.
You cannot contribute, But it's a Times are tough like
I'm a single mum now, have divorce or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
I can be sad for yourself and still have room
in your body to have happiness for other people.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
But you can also still not be happy for someone
and not be a horrible person. Like it's actually the
response that gets me, like, I'm not paying to that
you can all fuck off, sorry that I don't care
what you've been through, that has nothing to do with
that person, and it doesn't stop you from being a
good person. You don't have to be happy, and you
can feel sad that they're all those feelings are all
warranted and valid, but you don't get to treat other

(30:32):
people like that. That's what I think.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, I agree, I think I mean the saying, you know,
the saying hurt people, hurt people. She's obviously a really
sad person at the moment. She obviously is really hurt
and clearly is not getting over it. You know, you
said that it's been in the last eighteen months that
she had this divorce, six months into a marriage, then
a miscarriage. You know, she's clearly so deeply unhappy with

(30:57):
her life. And I think my question would be, has
there been a massive switch, did she used to always
be a bit selfish beforehand as well, but now it's
just been amplified. Or was she a really generous friend prior.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
No, she says that she said she's never as a
best friend. She's never once gotten me anything. Yeah, OK,
for my birthdays, not when my nun passed away. She's
selfish and her she finds her expectations really hard to handle.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Well, I think that that's the big thing. If there
has been a huge personality switch, then I would have
more grace for it, because I'd be like, I think
my friend is going through depression, Like this is not normal,
Like this is just so long term out of character
for her. Yeah, but if you can kind of look
back on your friendship, and I don't know how long
you've been friends for, you haven't actually said that, If
you can look back on it and be like, she

(31:41):
used to be such a positive and generous person and
now she is this like nasty and negative. I would say,
not that you have to support her through it in
every entirety, not that it's your job to fix this,
but you could have a conversation with her and be like, look,
I know you've been through some really hairy stuff the
last eighteen months, but I feel like you are deeply
unhappy at the moment, and is there something that you

(32:02):
know you could do or you could talk about or
talk to someone so that we could, you know, get
you back to being the version that you used to be,
because I don't believe that you're happy right now with
the version that you are. Obviously that is trying to
look at it with the most empathy possible, but there
does come a point in any friendship where it is
and I don't want to say it's exhausting, because that's

(32:23):
not a fair thing to say, but it is. It's
really hard on the person when you are always having
to have empathy for them because their life is harder,
and nothing that you experience is validated like losing your
grandparents or going through your own hardships is validated because
their struggles are innately harder. That feels like an imbalance
in a friendship, but it can become very, very tiring.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
I agree with everything you said, but I still don't
think there's a reason to treat other people like that,
Like you can still be sad and you can still
be going through something. But I agree with what you
said Laura, They're like, if it's really abnormal behavior for her,
then there's that little bit of grace. But the grace
doesn't go alongside silence. So you don't just give grace
and say, oh, she's just been a cun t because

(33:07):
she's going through something, I'll let her. You can still
have those conversations and call someone up about it. Like
if you had said to me, Laura, if I said, hey,
can we get Keisha a birthday present? And you're like,
I'm not giving money, go fuck yourself. You can all
fuck yourself. If you had said that to me, even
if you were going through something, I'd be like, WHOA,
that sounds like a disproportionate reaction, Like that sounds a
bit aggressive. I would say that to my friend. And
I think you can have those conversations in the moment,

(33:30):
like when someone has said something that is so like crazy, Yeah,
I think you're all right to be like WHOA. Like
that seems like a.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Lot, absolutely, But put it into perspective. If Matt had
just left me and I'd had a miscarriage, and within
that same period I'd said I'm not fucking contributing to that,
you would know that that is so out of character
for me, and you'd be like, wow, Laura is not well,
Like she is not well.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
But I would still say that to you. I'd still
say that sounds a bit like a lot or you
are right, like, you don't have to contribute if you
don't want. But I don't think we need to tell
the whole room to go fuck themselves, you know, I would.
It just seems like, yeah, yeah, this actually just reminds
me of my favorite Robin Williams quote.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
And I know that.

Speaker 4 (34:07):
You know, Laurie, you said, hurt people, hurt people. There's
also another side to this, and it's his quote. It's
actually my favorite quote, and I think it's so beautifully sad.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
He said.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
I think the saddest people always try their hardest to
make people happy because they know what it's like to
feel absolutely worthless, and they don't want anyone else to
feel like that.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
This friend is doing the opposite.

Speaker 4 (34:25):
It's kind of like, I'm in a bad way and
I want everyone else to feel as bad as I do.
You know, I actually think, like you said, it could
be a situational thing. But I think often times when
people are feeling down and sad, they don't want the
people that they love around them to feel how they're feeling.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
She's just jaded, she's jaded, or she also you know,
I don't like this terminology because I think it can
be thrown around and it can be like a very
invalidating way to speak about someone's trauma. But you can
also get stuck in a bit of a victim mindset.
You can get stuck in this like everything bad happens
to me, I'm so unhappy. You don't have a right

(35:01):
to feel as unhappy as I do because I have
it harder. It's a comparison of pain. Yeah, and when
you do, when people do get stuck in that mindset,
it makes it impossible for them to have empathy for
other people's hardships or to have joy for other people's happiness.
And that is just like, as much as it's a
really tricky person to be friends with, it's also a

(35:21):
fucking miserable state for them to live their lives in
as well. You know, like she is, this is an
unhappy person.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Yeah. And the other thing I want to say is
because I know I'm coming across really harsh.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Well you're not. You're coming across like I think that
most people agree with what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
But what I do want to say is or I
don't think there's everyone excuse to treat people in that way,
But I do want to say I understand where her
pain is coming from. She has lost her partner, she
got divorced, and she lost a baby, so she had
a miscarriage. Now, all of a sudden, even though it
was eighteen months, she's been asked to celebrate somebody who's
seemingly happy they're having a baby and assuming that they

(35:56):
are with a partner and happy because she said, like,
I wish I got treat like that. I have said
that comment a thousand times in my single life when
I was at the depths of despair and I was
so unhappy and sad. I used to look at all
my friends who are in relationships and they're kicking their goals,
and I remember being like, why can't I have that?
I wish I would have said that internally and I
would have voiced that out loud. Many times, those feelings

(36:18):
are so valid, like I understand why she's hurting. I
just don't like the fact that people can use that
as an excuse to treat other people who are not
directly affected by your personal relationship or situations. But like,
I just think that there needs to be a time
and a place, And obviously you've got grace fear friend
one hundred percent. It seems like you're giving her that,

(36:39):
But that doesn't mean you can't have those difficult conversations
at the same time. You can still support her and
call her out at the same time. Okay, next question,
friend wants to have a second baby shower just to
get gifts, but I gave her gifts for her first baby.
One of my girlfriends within our friendship group announced she
is pregnant with another child. The age between her youngest

(37:01):
will be six years, and she was the first of
our group to be married and have babies. She had
been quite young, whereas the rest of us are only
now having our first baby. She has advised us that
she would like somebody to throw her a baby shower,
given the years gone past and no longer having any
baby items. We all contributed to the first baby shower,

(37:21):
which was six years ago. A few of us have
expressed that it is the first child that you have
a baby shower for, and the rest you can celebrate
as like a baby sprinkle without expectations of any gifts
or restock of items that they originally had been given
for the first child. She has express it is in
fact a shower and not a sprinkle, and she wants

(37:42):
not just a celebration, but also gifts. Is it bad
for me to not want to attend knowing it is
purely based on wanting gifts and having a strong expectation
from guests to bring them.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
I look, I kind of agree, I do want, I don't.
I did not expect to have a third baby shower.
I was the one that was like, no, that's a
ridiculous thing. You can't have a baby shower and expect
people to come and bring you presents. I was very
fortunate that my sister in law organized one and my
sister organized one. That's what the surprise baby shower was.

(38:13):
But there also wasn't an expectation of presents. Like some
people brought them, a lot of people didn't. But it's
also was unnecessary in terms. I'm very grateful for it,
but I do feel if you've had three kids, you
kind of missed the baby shower sort of situation. I
think it personally, I think it's a first kid thing,
but like whatever, if you want to have more, go off, queen.

(38:33):
You don't have to go. Like if someone has a
baby shower, you get invited, you don't want to go.
You don't want to buy a gift, don't go. Like
it doesn't have to be a deep, big unpack.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
It's I didn't go to yours.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
We were like too, bitch just wants more gifts. How
many kids is you gonna have? She says she doesn't
even like presents. I wonder if she wants a hand
massage with handmaids. Literally, can you The only thing that's
different about this is your friend had a baby six
years ago and has given everything away. She's starting from scratch,
like she's got nothing, and now she's got a new

(39:08):
baby coming. And I know that you're saying, oh, well,
all of our other friends are just having their first.
This is gonna feel like having a first baby again.
It's gonna be hard and at the end of the day,
whether it's her first or her second, like, be happy
for your friend. And I think you don't have to
get a huge gift. You could get her anything. You
could get her one of those giraffes that you chew on.
You know that are the teving giraffes. They're twenty five dollars.

(39:30):
You know, I think that it's okay for you what,
I already got one case.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
I was like, noe, that one done. I've already got
one case. She's like, you could get them like no floors,
Like you get them like a new fridge, you get
Ferrari Bentley.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
No, but you could get them something small. You know,
it doesn't have to be I know you're saying that
the only reason why she's having it is because she's
had really like high expectations around getting gifts and whatnot.
You don't have to conform to those expectations, and you
can still be a part of the day, and you know,
it could be something small, a token gift. It could
be some muslin wraps whatever. Is it weird that she
has these really high expectations. Yeah, I mean I think

(40:09):
that presence in general, and we've kind of established that
over the last i mean six years of doing this
ohs gun cut then having expectations around presence is a
strange thing in general. But I don't think you should
pooh pooh her wanting to have a baby shower quite
so much either.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
All right, hear me O. Keisha and I talked about
this a couple of days ago when we read the
question originally, we had very different thoughts. And interesting that
you say that, Laura, because Keisha's like, yeah, fuck it,
you've had one baby shower, you don't get more. Whereas
it's not their fault that you threw the things away.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Who keeps things for six years? Maybe through the different man,
maybe she got divorced, you don't know.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
That's what I said to Keisha was like, the thing
is she didn't have a baby a year ago or
two years ago. Six years is like she might not
have ever thought she was gonna have another baby, this woman. Totally,
six years is a long time. You are in school,
you don't have baby stuff and you don't hold onto
them that long. Drude actually said, that's like Marley, but
with no Lola in between. Yeah, it's totally and you
wouldn't be keeping your newborn stuff.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
I mean, guys, I didn't have anything. I got rid
of everything after Lola because that's four almost five years.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
Like it's totally.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
It was an obscene amount of time to hold on
to and you know what actually happens, and this would
be My next question, sorry to jump in, I know,
My question is is she probably didn't just give it
all the Salvog. She probably gave it to friends who
had babies. I have given everything I owned to my
friends because everyone had children after me, and some of

(41:30):
it came back. Most of it didn't because most of
those friends then gave it to their friends who had babies.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
But I think it's irrelevant. She doesn't have the stuff
for six years. It doesn't matter how she got rid
of it or where it went. The only ekey part
for me here is and I'll just never understand it.
Like I'm not the person that can do a roadious try.
I'm not the person that can ask for gifts. If
someone says, what do you need or want? I can
never answer that. The ekey part for me is not
that she's having another baby shower. It's that she's like,

(41:55):
I need gifts, let's do it, like when somebody blatantly
like lays that down. And I'm in two minds about it, because.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
I mean, that's what a baby showers for.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Though no I understand it, which is why I'm in
two minds about it. And I'm not just saying baby
shower It's like the idea of just saying like, hey,
come because I want gifts is one thing. But having
said that, I understand where registries come from. So the
person doesn't get the same thing a hundred times over.
So it's like asking for specific things makes sense. But
the idea here of her has been like, hey, come

(42:24):
because I need presents. But she's obviously doing that because
she does need things. Like Laura said, it doesn't need
to be a big thing. If you value her friendship,
you can go and get her a Bond's zip up onesie.
You can get like three packs for twenty bucks or something.
There's something that you can contribute that's going to help her. Yeah,
But for me, I'm surprised to hear that people think
that a baby showers for one child only. I just

(42:46):
thought a baby shower is for the baby. Every time
there's a baby, that baby still is coming into the
world and needs something.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
That's why the middle child and the third child and
the fourth child all have issues because they don't get
as much.

Speaker 4 (42:58):
I think you guys might have changed my mind a
little bit on this. We all know how I feel
about lists for gifts. I am all for a registry
I think it consolidates it. It means that you get
things that are going to be practical. Maybe I'm just
a tired ask like would get married.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Well, we're gonna get We're gonna get the longest limp.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
No, No, I think look, I kind of maybe I've
changed my tune on this. Initially I was like, oh,
that's a bit cringe, Like, you know, you've.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Already had one.

Speaker 4 (43:23):
Your friends have already given and it's probably because firstly
I haven't had a baby, but you know what it's
like when you're the single friend and you have to
get gifts for every engagement, every wedding, every baby shower,
and you're like, this is sending me broke, and now
I'm doing it twice, Like it's a really big financial
cost to you as the person who's not necessarily on

(43:43):
the other end.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
Of it where you receive it. Okay, well here's the
question for you. Then in this situation, if she if
this was a second marriage, like if you've been married
once and then you got divorced and then you have
a second wedding, she met someone new, are you like
you guys already like I already gifted you for your
first and you don't get shit the second time around.
I don't know. I'm like, I get it, yeah, people

(44:06):
like sometimes things are done in multiples. Unfortunately. The only
other thing I want to add to this is like,
if your friend has nothing and they've expressed to you, like,
I don't know in the way that they expressed it.
It sounds like they didn't express it in a very
good way. It sounds like it came across probably a
little bit tone deaf. But what it is that they're
saying is is like, we're really ill prepared and we
have nothing. So if there's a way that my friends

(44:28):
can help, I would appreciate the help. Most people don't
ask for help. Most people say it's fine, it's fine,
it's fine, and then they just do it all themselves.
But if my friend had said, any friend you know
that I'm close with, had said, fuck, i'm pregnant. This
is hard, Like I don't have anything and I don't
know how we're going to get on top of it, all,
I would help, And I would want to give a gift.
I would want to give something that eases the burden.
I don't want to get them like something they don't

(44:51):
need or something that's just going to be added to
the pile. I would do something super practical like go
and get three pairs of bonds newborn zippies, or go
and get some wraps, like things that I know are
absolutely going to get used and are functional and helpful,
not like the pretty silly gifts.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
I'm going to ask you to give me a nanny.
Can you give me a nanny?

Speaker 1 (45:10):
Give me when nurse?

Speaker 2 (45:11):
All right, let's go to the last question. Are we
giving blowjobs?

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Up?

Speaker 5 (45:15):
Okay, that's a wrap to come into the show. All right, girls,
blow eas? Are we giving them? My partner and I
have been in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
For eight years now, so to eight years it's no
stops at one. Yeah. A combination that often arises is
around aligning what we want sexually. I have quite a
low libido and could quite happily go months without sex.
He has quite a high libido and would love to
have sex every few days. So we have compromised on
once every one to two weeks. Okay, sure, it's working

(45:50):
for us for now, apart from when I'm on my period.
When I am on my period, my partner says that
I need to give him a blowjob in the week
of period.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
Well, he can get fucked.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
It is something that he really enjoys, says every man. Ever, however,
I don't find it enjoyable. I don't like it. I
actually find it quite uncomfortable and it feels like a
real chore to me. I've told him that I don't
like doing it, and this is a constant issue that
comes up in the relationship every time he asks for
a blowjob. I am conflicted between not wanting to cause
conflict and not wanting to do it because I don't

(46:22):
enjoy it. We've had a big discussion about this, and
we're going to try to incorporate other things into our
sex life to meet his sexual desires without doing the blowjob.
My question is is this a common issue that other
couples are facing. I feel like no one really talks
about it, but surely I'm not alone. Are people giving
their partners blowjobs? I loved it? That is the question.
If they are doing it, do they enjoy it or

(46:44):
are they also just doing it for their partner?

Speaker 1 (46:48):
Okay? Are they sure? Also asked, if we can poll this,
are we doing blowjobs because it's a chure? Like? Are
we blowjobbing because we feel like we have to. Is
this the time that we're actually I don't.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Reckon you blowjob?

Speaker 1 (46:59):
No, If you don't want to do it, you don't
do it.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
I think once it's an obligation, that's the biggest ick
you could ever get. Second that they ask for it
is where you're like no, not for me.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
I don't mind ask if they ask, but if it's
like a no, if it's an ask with an expectation,
that's very different the asking I'm okay with.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
I think you can ask for anything in a sexual relationship.
It's the badgering I'm not okay with.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Oh. I think I picture it more like I'm in
the kitchen and I'm cooking and someone's like, hey, can
I have a blowy? I'd be like no, Like That's
how I'm picturing it, not that they're getting sexy and frisky,
like I think it's that time of the month for
her and he comes up and he's like, how about
a blowjob? Like that's how I imagine that going down.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
And the problem is is, look, there's lots of problems
with this. But the reason why I think it has
become even more of a chore is because a lot
of people have sex on a period and they don't care,
and some people don't feel comfortable, don't want to. But
what it sounds like is like you're not getting anything
out of that experience whatsoever, and you're just expected to
go and do the chore of giving a blowjob.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
When you feel shit from your period with.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
Nothing like it's not like, it's not like there is
anything that he's giving you in return in that moment,
And I guess for that, I'm kind of like, well, then,
of course, the reason why you feel like it's a
chore is because it's become a chore, and pleasuring someone
and having pleasures should never be a chore because it
makes you there's more distance to then once you've done
that during your period week, where you're like, fucking got

(48:18):
made to do this, you're already then so far behind
the eight ball, because the next time that you have sex,
you're like, oh, I got badger, didn't do it last time,
and now here we are again. I've got to do
it because you know you're not doing because you want to,
You're doing because you feel like you have to.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
And for your question, yes, there, of course there are
women that love giving blowjobs. There are men that love
giving blow jobs. There are people that get off on it,
on pleasing and doing that kind of thing. I would say, though,
and we will poll it, I would say the majority
of women, especially when you're eight years deep, aren't frothing it.
They're not waking up being like can't wait to suck
my punt's dictator Like, there's not people. That's not what
people are doing eight years deep. And the general consensus,

(48:54):
I would say is that it's like, oh, I will
do it for him because he likes it, but it's
not something that they like a dreaming about.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Or it's part of the full play and it gets
them from A to B Like I don't know the
same thing.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
No one does it. Even if you're doing it, you're
not doing it to completion. You're doing it to set
up the sex, like no one is sitting there for
however long an hour, are getting lockjaw.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
I cannot remember the last time I gave a blowie
to completion. Honestly, i'd call it.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
I'm confident to lay that down.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
I think once I feel a bit like, I don't
want to say self conscious because it's not what it is.
I feel unsure because Obviously we're a room of four women,
but one of them doesn't count because she's a lesbian.
So I don't think she's giving blowjobs, but.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
I think she could still contribute. She doesn't have to.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
That's how long.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
Ago did you give a blow job? No, but the
idea is the same. Are women in same sex relationships
like walking into the kitchen being like, go down on me?

Speaker 1 (49:46):
Like, is that this is like I'm not contributing to this?

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Oh they have?

Speaker 1 (49:53):
That's what I genuinely am curious because I know that
we speak for like our small little world, but maybe
like we you know, when you surround yourself with like
minded people, you think that that's the norm. Like, maybe
there's going to be so many people when we do
this pole who were like, no, I'm like sick for
a blowjob.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
Now they're not. I'll put my life on it. Back
when I was in my twenties, i'd put a blowjob
on it. If the poles the other way, I'll give Ben.
I'll go that pole. Yeah, I was on Ben's like
sharing the Instagram. Everybody knows to vote.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
I would have said as well, And maybe this is
just so jaded, But when I was in my twenties.
If that pole had come my way in my twenties,
I'd have been like, yeah, because I'm a cool girl.
I love doing that. Now that I'm married and i'm
almost forty, I'm like, no, I really enjoy having sex
with my husband. Is that the part that I enjoy
the most? No, but I do. I will do it

(50:41):
if he enjoys it. Luckily Matt doesn't. Actually, he's not that.
He'd just rather get down to business too. To be honest,
he's not that thrilled on it. I don't know if Matt.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
Feels that way.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
I'm sure that would like a blowjob if you offered it.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
I don't think he's gonna be.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Like, no, honey, no, no, of course, if that was
the only thing on the table, he'd take it. But if, like,
if the main course is there, he's like, fuck the
entre he needs at too. He doesn't need a startup.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
He just likes the pinky stinking straight to sex. Okay.
The other thing is, and I guess it's such a
personal thing obviously, but why do you choose not to
have sex on your period? Is that your choice? Is
that his choice?

Speaker 5 (51:16):
Like?

Speaker 2 (51:16):
Does he not like it? Do you not like it,
is it painful, is it messy, or you just think
it's gross, Like I personally think it's fine. I will
have sex with my period. It doesn't bother me. But
I don't have ridiculously heavy periods. And you know, a
lot of the time I'm not feeling overly unwell. I
feel unwell for one day and then I'm okay. So
like for me, it's not the end of the world.
But I guess I wonder why so yeah, I guess
at the end of the day, we will put the

(51:38):
poll up for you, so you're gonna have to keep
your eye on our Instagram. We can bring you back
the results in the audio version next week.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
We will. We absolutely will. But I think look, just
to round out this question though, rather than getting stuck
on the actual people giving blowjobs or not, the problem
here is that you are being badgered to do something
you don't want to do, and no one should be
badgered to have sex or to be pleasured or for
their partner to be pleasured or whatever. It is childish.

(52:06):
It is wrong on many levels. But also the other
thing that it does is it absolutely deteriorates pleasure, Like
you will never want to show up in your relationship
and have sex and be excited about sex when your
partner has fucking badgered you for it for like a
week in preparation.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Like, I don't know if he's badgering or I just
get to think he is. Get the impression that it's
the expectation of off. You can't give me one, you'll
give me the other. That's what's gross. But I don't
think it's.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
But that's I think that that's where the badgering comes in.
I mean that's my interpretation of it, because otherwise it
wouldn't come up. He's like, oh, you're period. You know
what that means? Time for you to give me a blowie?
Like not absolutely does not mean that. It means give
yourself a fucking risty and don't come near me. Go away. Sorry, sorry,
all of that was disgusting. I hate myself, But nothing.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
Drives you up quicker than someone being like, like, yes,
it made me feel uncomfortable anyway.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
If you have a question for us, but ask gun
Cut slide on into the DMS on Instagram, Life Uncut Podcast.
You can also send them to us on Facebook, join
the discussion group Life on Cut Pop. It's all that happening.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
Washing visuals in this one, so you know the drills
you mum, pay, Dad, tad, your dogs, tear friends, and
share the love because we love love

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