July 24, 2024 • 41 mins
Hey Lifers,
Welcome back to your weekly venting session where we unpack all of your deep, dark and dirty questions!
It was our 5th birthday but we missed it... We reflect on what the last 5 years have meant and you're all the fkn best for listening to this podcast and helping us create this community!
WE HAVE A NEW HOME FOR OUR VIBES!!
Vibes and Unsubscribes page!
Britt: Netflix Simone Biles Rising
Laura: One Life film
Keeshia: Book - Everyone Here Is Lying
Then we jump into your questions:
WEDDING SAVE THE DATES
I’m getting married at the end of this year, we sent the save the dates February this year. Since then we have lost touch with a friend (never see them, never talk to them over social media etc) they are still close friends with mutual friends of ours. If you send someone a save the date, do you have to follow through with the invitation? There’s no other aspect of money being an issue or anything like that, just purely aren’t close with them now and don’t foresee us being close in the future?
PARTNER WANTS TO TELL GROCERY STORE, I WANT TO KEEP THE REFUND
My partner and I can’t agree. He collected our grocery order tonight for $140 worth and they have had IT issues so we never got the message to say our ‘direct to boot’ order is ready so he went inside the store to grab it. Two hours later we got a message to say our order has to be cancelled and we will be refunded due to IT issues. I think they will take the refund as they are a huge company - we spend at least $300 weekly (family of four- 3 kids in nappies🙈). We are farmers in drought struggling to make ends meet so I think treat it like winning the lottery. He thinks we should ring them to let them know we got the order. I know he is morally right but surely sometimes you have to just take a win. What do you think?
DATING SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T QUITE FIT WHAT I PICTURED
I’m 28 and have never been in a relationship. A couple of years ago I wrote a list of my ideal man; ambitious, funny, chatty, reliable etc so when I was dating I wouldn’t entertain anyone who wasn’t right for me. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and he ticks everything off the list: he’s really great, I feel safe with him and my friends love him. There’s one small thing that’s niggling at but as I haven’t been in a relationship before I’m still figuring it out. I always pictured myself with someone being the centre of his friend group, could dominate a room, in a sense a bit cocky. But this guy isn’t quite like that! I’m not saying that he’s not confident, but I suppose it looks different to how I envisioned it. I realise I’m overthinking and doubting but any thoughts or advice?
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
elders past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is us Gun Cut
where we answer you're.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Dark and burning and deep down and dirty questions. Yeah,
Therapy Thursday, we call it, we do us.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I mean, we've been calling it that for five years.
And you know why we've been calling.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It that for five years, because that's the name. Because
it's our five year birthday. Bitches today, No, it was
last week and we didn't celebrate. Why do we miss
every milestone ever? July seventeen was actually our birthday. It's
now what July twenty five when we're recording this, twenty
July twenty four, one week exactly delayed. So we recorded
on our anniversary.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We did, and we completely forgot. And so I'm here
to tell you that we have been.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
A happy family. Ben and I celebrated our six month
anniversary and I can't even remember the podcast five year anniversary.
Look in our defense, though, I mean I've had Tony
May for almost sixteen years now, and not once have
I celebrated a birthday. To me, you're like five years old,
sixteen or fifteen, maybe it's fifteen. I've not celebrated a birthday,
so I can't remember. But I started when I was
(01:24):
in my early twenties. So ya, I'm fucking old.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Go's how old you are? Do the match shocks me?
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Five years her, Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Bridge.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I would just like to say, oh something.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
If it's not going to be super emotional and made
me cry, I don't want to hear it. I think
I'm your longest relationship, most successful thus far. What do
you mean? Think you are one hundred percent and you
always will be too unless life Uncut finishes. If we continue,
and then Ben and I continue, you will always I
will always love me. I loved more by you. When
(01:55):
I think about my professional goals, it's to outlove Ben
with you. But am I yours? No?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
No, No. Matt is a longer relationship. I met him first,
and then that is technically how.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I met you.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So I always unrequited love. Everyone stided, Yeah, but it is,
but it's not as the same. It is a little
bit triangulated, but it's returned.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Britt.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
You know you came into my life and you are
right up there as number one. I did have a
five year I mean an eight year relationship. You remember,
so long ago. Your life didn't work evidently, but I
still had it. So I still feel like you've got
a trumpet, do you know what?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Not the same?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
But I always forget Delilah's birthday too. That's so harsh,
but I don't think that matters as much. She doesn't
know she's a dog. Okay, can I say one more thing?
Oh God, do you remember?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Okay, God, I can't even remember my own birthday. There
must be so.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Many people that listen to this when I make these
analogies and be like, fucking shut up. Okay, But I'm
always going to make these analogies because I don't have kids.
I always say this thing. I can only imagine what
a parent feels like. Because remember when last year I
think it was, there was one of the dogs from
the dog park. It was its birthday. And remember, because
we live in the eastern Beaches of Sydney, the dogs
(03:00):
had a birthday party. They hired the owner hired a
mini van and went around and picked up all the
dogs for the birthday party. Took it to somewhere that
they hired out. All the dogs had a party, They
had cake, they had hats. Then the minibus dropped all
the dogs back.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I remember this.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Delilah was not invited to the dog park birthday. I
was like, I imagine this is what it's like when
you're a parent and your kid doesn't get invited to
a party. Because I was up in arms, I was like,
why would you exclude Delilah? Why is she the only
dog from the dog park. There was one other Australian
shepherd that also didn't get any fish. Delilah's best friend.
It was Blue, Delilah's best friend. They're the mean girls,
(03:36):
that's why. No, they're not the mean girls.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Blues a boy.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Anyway, that took a segway. But going back to the
life on cut birthday, we laugh. But it's such an achievement,
the fact that we've had this podcast for five years
and it's almost I think we're around like seventy seven
million downloads, yeah, nearly eighty million. That is one we
will celebrate five years over five one hundred and something episodes.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
We are not six hundred.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
We are not people who I think, you know, a
lot of other brands out there, and this is not
I think it's actually an amazing thing. I think people
should celebrate their achievements, and I think we should celebrate
them loudly, but we haven't necessarily done that over the years,
and it's because often the achievements kind of come and
pass us by. And I really was going, like Matt
and I were talking about it the other night when
(04:23):
we were talking about the fact that we've had this
business for five years now.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Hate hobby that you had.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
That's a cute hobby that Matt told me, You know,
no one listens to podcasts, Like, why would I want to?
I was, you know, at the time, as you guys know,
I was pregnant. Matt was kind of like, why are
you taking on more things to do as hobbies?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
As hobbies? He was like, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
But he's obviously so proud of everything that we've achieved Britain,
and he's also a podcaster now.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Has a podcasts. It's a shame that no one listens to.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Podcasts, but we are so incredibly grateful for everything that
you guys as listeners, have allowed us to be able
to create and achieve, because if it wasn't for you
coming on and some of you are OJ listeners, you've
been there from the very very start, some of your
recent some of you been there at all different parts
of your journey. But if there's ever been an episode
that we've done that has meant something to you or
(05:07):
it's helped you in some way, even if that's anything
from just giving you a laugh all the way to
helping you through a really challenging part of your relationship,
it means everything to us. And that's been like the
absolute kind of juice that's kept this thing going.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
We had no direction whatsoever when we started. I remember
we were like, let's just do it a couple of episodes,
see what happens, and here we are.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
See it's funny. I think we had so much direction.
I think we knew exactly what we wanted to do
with it.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
We didn't might be the wrong word, yeah, I mean
like we didn't know how long it was going to last.
We were like, let's just put a couple episodes out
and see what happened.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
But we always knew what the core values of life
on Cut Work.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We always knew what we wanted to do with it.
We always knew the conversations we wanted to have. Pinkies
and stinkies.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I know that we're.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Making it out like we've got some sort of deep
political podcast that's moved mountains. No, but we wanted to
talk about relationships and that's where this whole thing started,
and I think at its very core, even though we
talk about lots of things these days, we always come
back to things that matter when it comes to relationships,
and whether that relationship is with your partner, whether that's
a relationship with your job, whether that's your relationship with money,
(06:08):
or whether that's your relationship with yourself. They're the episodes
that I think mean the most to me. And this
is just taking a second to say, I'm so fucking
grateful that we get to do this for a job,
So thank.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
You, guys.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Do you know what one thing that I don't know
if I've ever told you guys this, I hope I have,
because I was a listener before I worked for you,
and I it was twenty twenty that I started listening
to the podcast.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I was living in Victoria.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Anyone who was down there at that time, need I
say more. We really lacked connection because we were in
lockdown for the whole fucking year, and the podcast was
this form of connection for me. It made me feel
less lonely, and I think that I just felt like
I had like.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
A sense of what was going on. But also it
was like an easy entry and I think that still
exists now for a lot of people.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Like sometimes if you're not feeling that great, you can
check a podcast on and feel better. Sometimes if you
just want to go for a walk by yourself and
listen to something, but you don't have to give much
mental input. The give amount of people who have message
and be like, I know, oh you don't know me,
but I feel like we're best friends. That is like
such a privilege. It's I you know, guys, I'm going
to get emotional. I'm just very grateful and I'm so
happy that we get to do this for a job
(07:09):
and happy birthday life on cut because five years is
a fucking huge achievement in this world, and I'm really
proud of us.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
The funniest thing just happened actually, just before we're coming
in here. I was lining up to get our coffees
at the coffee shop, and so I was ordering and
talking to the women behind the counter and we're having
a laugh because we all know each other at work,
having a big laugh. And then I turned around and
the girl that was directly behind me was like, oh
my god. She's like, it makes so much sense, and
she turned her phone around. She's like, I'm listening to
you right now. But then I was like, why does
(07:36):
it sound like surround sound? Because I because I was
in front of her also laughing and talking. So she
was looking at her phone being like, is it skippy?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Is it doc?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah? She was like, what's happening? It was literally surround sound?
And I was like, oh, I love that, Thank you
so much for listening. But it was a very funny moment.
But there the moments we froth, like when you actually
see someone in.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
The wild and we get to meet you guys, can
I say really quickly I know we're going on. I
had that happen. It was only a couple of weeks ago.
I was in Tony May.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I had Delilah, a beautiful listener walked in.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
She looked at me, She looked at Delilah and she
kind of was just like, what.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
The She's like, you were phone and she showed me.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
She's like, I'm listening to you, guys.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'm in Low's store, You're like, and.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
She was shopping for earrings for her wedding.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
It was so lovely and I thought, this is actually
such a funny, like full circle moment. Doesn't get more
life on three components of this, And yeah, it was
very it was a really nice moment.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
All of that said, I think it's probably time for
vibes and unsubscribed. Yeah, okay, I will start then. My
vibe this week is a Netflix documentary, very timely because
of the Olympics. It's Simone Biles. The documentary story is
called Simone Biles Rising. It's only two episodes I think
of two hours each, so probably for four and a
half fish. I don't know exactly, but it's not too long.
(09:00):
And if you don't know someone Biles, she's the most
decorated gymnast of all time and she's absolutely incredible. She's
American and you may or may not remember, but back
in twenty twenty at Tokyo Olympics, everyone was like, cool,
She's gonna wipe the floor. With gold medals because she's
so incredible, Like she has gymnastic moves named after her
(09:21):
because she's the only one that can do them. She's
just so good that she makes up new moves with
new spins and twists, and no one else can do them.
So what happened in the twenty twenty Olympics was she
actually pulled out. She's something started happening to her that
has never happened. She wasn't landing, she was going up
and like you know, hitting the springboard, doing nothing like
what she was supposed to be doing. And she ended
(09:43):
up talking a lot in this documentary about what happened then.
And it's something called like the twisties or something that
happens inside a gymnast's head where the brain no longer
can connect to the body, almost like a vertigo type thing. Yes,
and it's something that happens in the gymnastic world with
how many spins and they do. It's like the thing
that they all fear. So she would be going and
(10:03):
doing the jumps in the air and the flips and
her brain's like triple flip whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, but
it's just not connecting and a body can't do it.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
So wow, that's so petrifying.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah. So she had to pull out because you can die. Yeah, yea, yes,
And she wasn't being able to compete anyway, so she
pulled out, and then it just follows she never thought
she would compete again. She talks a lot about her
mental health and finding her husband, who's a football player
over there. She never thought she'd make her way back,
but she's at the Olympics now, so this is her comeback.
And the documentaries followed her the last couple of years.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Netflix.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Netflix.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Okay, did it.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Cover the controversy that happened with the coaches, Yes, yeah, yeah.
It also she also touches on a lot of you
might remember to a lot of the sexual assault accusations
that happened within the gymnastics team in America and all
of the young girls came well they're not young girls now,
they're women, but they were young girls when it happened.
It covers that as well. So that also leads into
her having to admit that she's having some mental health
(10:57):
issues and that was a really big thing for her
to say, I actually do need to go and get help,
especially in that athlete world where everyone puts you on
the pedestal and you don't have these shoes. So yeah,
I found it fascinating, educational, inspiring, really great, unreal. I
have a bit of a different vibe for this week.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
My book club have started I say reading, but I
am an audiobook girl.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
The club I've started reading.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Until then we just drink wine.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Well, I was in it for the social aspect, to
be honest, I've started reading. That's the best line they read.
I listen to the audio books you can get.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
If you pay for Spotify Premium, you can get fifteen
hours of free audio books per month. So this one
I just found out. It was only released twenty days ago.
It is by Shari Lapina. Now she might be familiar
to you because she has written thrillers called The Couple.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Next Door, which I think they turned into a TV series.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I just watched that with Sam Hugh and my celebrity
crup It's Changer in the House and unwod Guest. She
is a New York Times wstling author over and over
and over again. This is her new one called Everyone
Here Is Lying. I'll just read out the plotline for you.
William Willer is a family man on the show, but
he's been having an affair and that affair ended horribly
this afternoon at a motel up the road. So when
(12:05):
he returns to his house, devastated and angry to find
his difficult nine year old daughter Avery unexpectedly home from school,
William loses his temper. Hours later, Avery's family declare her missing. Suddenly,
Stanhope doesn't feel so safe and William isn't the only
one on the street who's hiding a lie. As witnesses
come forward with information that may or may not be true,
(12:27):
Avery's neighbors become increasingly unhinged. Well, initially I was like,
I'm not really into thrillers. I have inhaled this book.
I've had my speaker on it around with me in
the house. Why don't you put last Night carrying boombox
because like I can shower and stuff because it's waterproof.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So She's also like, Toba needs to listen to this
as well. Everyone needs to enjoy this book. He should
with a boom box on his shoulder. Audio book The
Tiny Wonder boom Ones.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
My book club have inhaled this book in literally a day.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I love that I needed a new book.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Recommendation It's also hard when you haven't gotten a good
book in a while, you haven't sat down and read
for like a while, it's hard to know where to start.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You kind of feel like you're a bit out of
the book.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Well, page one usually, yeah, it's always a good spot anyway.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
But if you are wanting a book that like just
such easy entry that you can just consume.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
That's gripping.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Highly recommend It is called Everyone Here Is Lying by
Shari Lapina. It is brand new, just came out on
the fourth of July.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I'm excited about that recommendation, and also get excited about
this one because this is one of the best sound.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Well, I'm excited about this one.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
This is one of the best movies I have seen
in such a long time.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
It's a biographical drama.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
It's a true story and it came out last year,
but I had not heard of it, and my lovely
mother in law was like, we need to watch this.
So she watched it recently when she was in France
and it was in French, but she was like, I
think I missed parts of the storyline. I really want
to watch it again in English. Anthony Hopkins in it
the way in which the biography is told is it's
him telling his story from when he was twenty nine
(14:06):
years old. Now this story is based around the life
of a man named Nicholas Winton. He was a British
Man who went to Prague during the middle of World
War II when Hitler invaded Czechoslovakia. There was thousands of
displaced Jewish refugees in Czechoslovakia at the time, and so
he went over there.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
He was a young banker and when he got.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
There, he discovered that there were thousands of children who
were living in refugee camps at the precipice of winter
coming and he realized that they were all going to die,
They're all going to perish in winter, and so he
came back to England and with his mum they started
a ground roots charity. And what that charity did is
it put out a call out for as many British
families who would home and foster any Czechoslovakian children that
(14:50):
they could, or any of these refugee children that they could,
and they ended up homing six hundred and sixty nine children.
They got visas for them, they brought them over and
as some of you may or may not know, but
basically every single person in those refugee camps ended up
dying and being taken to concentration camp.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
So he saved so many children. It's an incredible story.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
The way in which the story's told is it's him retrospectively,
and he's such a humble man. Nobody knew at the
time the impact that he had made during the Holocaust
and the stories like a tearjerk. Holy shit, I was
a blubbering mess sitting on my couch. But I don't
want to tell you the end of it because the
end of it's really really remarkable, and you have to
watch it because it was one of those movies that
(15:33):
leaves you and it makes you think for days about it.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Please go watch it. It's called One Life.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I watched it on Apple TV, but I had to
pay for it to watch it on Apple TV. But
it is also an Amazon Prime, so there's a couple
of places where you can watch it.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
It's phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
We have some exciting news.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Usually at this point we say that the vibes go
in our show notes. But because every week, every week
we get lots of messages, we get Facebook posts in
the discussion group, saying, a couple of weeks ago someone
mentioned this and I can't remember it. I don't know
which episode it was in. I'm not going to go
back and try and find it. We now have a
place that the vibes will live.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
It is on the website.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
If you go onto Life uncutpodcast dot com dot AU.
Along the top it says episodes about us merch and
then there is a whole page that says vibes and
it will have each person's vibe. You can click on it,
it will have a link to it, and it will
live there for probably about two months. I think.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I think we'll do like eight weeks worth. Yeah, it's
not going to be there forever, so you've got to
get in quick.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Kids in kiss you did a very good job making
this happen.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Also, speaking of the website, Lifeuncut Podcast dot com dot
are you if you need yourself a jumper? There's some
really amazing, beautiful ah we love love.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Life on cut.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
They are jump It's so comfy. I'm not even just
saying this because they're ours and everyone that has ever
worn them is like, holy shit, They're such good quality.
The inside is so warm and soft. I wear mine
to death. So there's seventy nine bucks. You can go
and purchase them straight from the website, so you can
check out your vibe and get some merch on the
way out. Question number one, I'm getting married at the
(17:01):
end of this year. We sent the save the dates
February this year. Actually, that's not a lot of time.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
That's very recent.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Is a very short period of time between a save
the date and a wedding right as someone that's now
I'm coached, someone that's now thinking about these things. Guys,
that's a short amount of time.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
How much time would you leave in between the save
the date and the actual wedding date?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Well, to be honest, I want to get married this
time next year. You are fast tracking stuff like you.
I mean, I think a year is fine. I think
a year is fine. But we just couldn't get the
save the dates out, so it's probably not gonna happen anyway.
Now that's a whole other story. Let's get back to
the listeners problem. Not fine getting married later this year.
(17:41):
Since then, we have lost touch with a friend. We
never see them, we never talked to them over social media, nada.
They're still close friends with other mutual friends of ours. Though,
question is if you send someone a save the date,
do you then have to follow up with the actual
invitation or can you just ghost them? There's no other
aspect of money being an issue or anything like that.
(18:02):
It's purely just that we're not friends with them now,
we don't foresee a friendship with them in the future.
So with only like an eight month in between a
save the date and an invitation, can you cut it?
It's not even been that it's been five months, like no,
but between the wedding, Like, can you just not actually, yeah,
because when they send the invite it would have been
like two three months.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Well yeah, I mean we're only we're only July now
and this was February, so it's been five months.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Have you not sent the invitations?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But since what do you mean? She only sent the
save the date, she hasn't sent the invitation and it's
at the end of the year.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Girl, you're cutting it fine now because she sent the
save the date, So it's fine. Invitations only go out
like two months before the wedding.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
No for your wedding, they did it. I don't think
that's normal. I don't think that standard practice. So I
it's so awkward.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
It's so awkward because I feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
It's awkward because there's just not enough time between you
save the date and your actual wedding invitation and your wedding.
So that is probably why I feel differently about it
because I did this. So this happened from like Matt
and I. But the problem is I still turned up.
I know, I sent her to text and I was like,
oh God, finally she keeps nagging me.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
No, Matt and I sent up to save the dates.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
But then because of COVID, our wedding date changed multiple times.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
So did I just add one thing in before we continue?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Laura says she sent Save the Dates and then she
says she sent her invitations and we kept saying to her, Okay,
we're not invited because she hasn't actually sent them. And
I kept saying, oh have you haven't sent them. You're
like no, no, no, no, no, swhere I have. After like eight months,
we realized that she had this random website and everything
was going to spam, so no one ever got the
Save the dates and no one ever got the invitation.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Every single person except for you guys, managed to receive it.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Which is so hilarious.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Anyway, Look, it was good for me because at least
then I could pick and choose who I actually wanted
to the wedding. No, so we sent up Save the Dates.
Then our wedding date changed twice, so it got pushed
back by two years longer than when we were actually
supposed to get married because of COVID. And there was
one friend who I had sent well, actually was a couple,
but i'd sent Save the Dates to and then in
(19:59):
that two years, I had never heard from them, not
a text, not a phone call, hadn't seen them, not
a like congratulations that you had another baby, like nothing,
absolutely zilch, radio silence. So then when it came to
sending out the actual wedding invitations, Matt and we went
through the guest list. Matt was like, I've never met
this couple, and I was like, yeah, I know, because
(20:22):
you've never met them, you've never spoken to them. I
haven't spoken to them, and so I just didn't send
a wedding invitation to them.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
So I went for the ghosting route. I did that road.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
I blocked in ghost it.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I didn't send them a message to say, hey, you're
not invited, But I don't think that they were surprised
that they weren't invited, because we've very much like gone
separate ways since you know, nothing bad happened, we just
kind of fell out of our friendship. I do think
that this situation is a little bit more awkward than
what mine was. But and I might be in the
wrong for this. It's your wedding, and you're entitled to
(20:54):
invite whoever you want to to your wedding, and you
are also entitled to change your mind if you want
to change your mind. It may mean that they hold
a grudge against you, but you have said here just purely,
we're not close with them now, and I don't foresee
us being close with them in the future. So I
take that last line as though you don't care if
(21:14):
you're not friends with them in the future. So for
the sake of a bit of awkwardness, you're gonna save
yourself five hundred bucks by not having them at the wedding.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
And I would just ghost. I would just not send
them an invitation.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I am going down a different route.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I would just not send them an invitation.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Whilst I agree with what you said, like it's at
the end of the day, it is your wedding. You
absolutely do not have to invite anyone you don't want
to invite. But what I will say is I think
that you should invite them. I know, listen, hear me out.
You've said it's got nothing at all to do with money,
Like you've got the space of them, You've booked your
wedding right, you've already got their seat done, You've paid
for it. If you're a couple months out, the wedding's
paid for, you've sent invitations. You're not not friends. You
(21:52):
just haven't been in a lot of contact. You don't
see yourself friends with them in the future. I can
guarantee you're not gonna be friends with probably a lot
of people that go to your wedding. Seasons change, friendships change.
You have also said that you've got like a big
group of mutual friends. I don't think it's worth it
in this situation, when it's only a couple of months away,
you only just sent the save the dates. I don't
think it's worth it for the future awkwardness when you
(22:13):
are all in the same group to not invite them,
purely because in the future you don't think it's going
to work out if they had done something, or had
they been a huge falling out or there was you know,
a big clashing of hands or something. I totally get that,
but I think this is going to cause you so
much more hassle in the future because of how tight
your friendship group is. If it was a random that
(22:33):
lived in Perth. I say that coming Sydney that lived
five hours away, and everyone who listens in Perth is like,
we're not all random, Renee, I love you, My best
friendly is in Perth.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Renee, you will be invited to the wedding.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
You are invited to wedding yet, But like what I'm
trying to say is if they don't live close and
they're not intertwined in your life, your family or your friends,
I think that's an easy decision. But like, you're gonna
see these guys all the time, everyone's going to talk
about the wedding. You're making it awkward as fuck for
you for the next however many years.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
You're not gonna see them all the time because it's
been five months and you haven't seen them or spoken
to them, so you'll see that. Okay, I have changed
my mind slightly okay, when that's only a little bit.
I don't think you have to have them at your
wedding if you're so convinced that you're not going to
be friends with them in the future and you have
had no contact with them. I don't think that you
have to invite people out of politeness.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
To your wedding.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But maybe ghosting is not the right course of action.
I think another, probably much more palatable way of doing
it would be to send them a message saying I'm
so sorry. I know that we've sent out save the dates,
but financially we've had to downscale the wedding a little bit,
and I you know, we love you.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
We want to see you, babe. We can go out
for dinner or something pre.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Wedding, but unfortunately, because of having to downscale the size
and cost some things, we aren't able to have you
at the wedding. And I know that that means that
they're on the bottom rung of friends. But at the
same time, they probably know they're already there anyway, if
they haven't spoken to you for five months.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I don't think not talking over social media and not
seeing them a lot is indicative of not having a friendship.
And I say that because that it's like a huge
part of my life. Most of my friends I don't
see very often. They don't live here like you know.
I've got a small group of friends in Sydney, but
most of my friends who will absolutely be coming to
my wedding I probably haven't seen in ages and our
Instagram social media chat involves sporadically sending a meme to
(24:18):
the DMS or forwarding a funny thing. And that doesn't
mean I value their friendship any less, but it means
the old you get when you get to different places
in life. Sometimes that is how friendships are managed. This
is our summary. I think absolutely no one has to
go to your wedding that you don't want. But in
this particular situation, your question is I've just sent to
save the date. It's a few months to the wedding.
They're in my friendship group. Do I do it? It's
(24:39):
not a money thing. Yeah, I'm going to say, do it.
This is for me in pecular situation. So so do
you know what I'd love to know from you is,
because Laura and I have given you very different answers,
I'd love to know what you decide to do. Can
you please write in and tell us if you keep
them coming or if you cut the cord? If you
cut the cord? Are you ghosting them? Are you texting
them and being honest? What are you doing?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Also?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Oh no, you can't fucking ghost the No, don't go
for them, don't ghost them, but do send them message
saying you're downscaling the wedding.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I would I.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Would love to know if someone else has done this, like,
if you have done this with your wedding.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
This is not an uncommon things. I think it is
uncommon when it's this close.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Do you think it's uncommon?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
The only aspect here that throws me is is how
crammed together the timeframe is here between the sending the
date to now where you have to cancel them and
send the actual limitation and the actual wedding. It's like,
I think you're setting yourself up for a shit fight.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Question number two. My partner and I can't agree.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
He collected our grocery order tonight for one hundred and
forty dollars worth, but the company had an IT issue,
so we never got the message to say that our
direct to boot order don't even know what that is.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
That's where you pick it up and they put in
your boot.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Oh, our direct to boot order is ready, so he
went inside the store to grab it. Two hours later,
we got a message to say our order had been
canceled and that we would be refunded due to an
IT issue. The thing is, we got our food and
now it looks like we don't have to pay for it, as.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
The refund is going to come through now.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I think because they are a huge company and we
spend at least three hundred dollars a week from them.
I'm talking with a family of three kids, and we
buy nappies, et cetera. And we are also farmers in drought,
so we have been struggling to make ends meet. So
I think that this is a little treat. It's almost
like winning the lottery. He thinks we should ring them
to let them know that we got the food and
that we don't need a refund. I know he is
(26:26):
morally right, but surely sometimes you just have to take
a little win in life.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Interested to know your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Oh, I think everyone listening right now is going to
feel probably the same way. Morally, Yes, your husband is right,
your husband's a good man. Morally, you have received your food.
You do not need you receive them and theoretically, metaphorically
and literally, you received your food. So morally, yes, you've
(26:53):
received your food, and the money is coming back in
and that means that they are out of pocket. So
should you turn it?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Are you gonna return it? No, Let's be real. Let's
be real. I think most people in this situation would
probably want to take it like a treat. There'll be
people out there that wouldn't, that wouldn't be able to
live with themselves. That's fine. What I feel like saying
for you is, I feel like this is maybe a
little win that you need. You said, you're a farmer
that's really struggling in drought with three kids. I think
(27:24):
you're going to keep it, and I think that's probably okay.
I know people will probably come for me for that.
But if you're struggling that much and it means that
your kids get fed that week and you put nappis on,
we know how much the big supermarkets can absolutely annihilate
us sometimes.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, I know it's so wrong.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I feel guilty even saying it. If I ever accidentally
take something, I take it back because morally, that's what
I'm like, I feel really guilty, but I feel like
maybe this is a little lot of win for you.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
I think you are trying to be politically correct for
fear off people getting angry at you.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I don't steal, I take stuff back.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
No, of course, of course you don't.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
You don't intention steal, Like I don't think anyone intentionally steals.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Well, actually it's a lot. A lot of people intentionally
steal a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
But I think in this instance, and this comes to
someone who is a business owner, like I feel as
though there is and I don't want to say that
there's differences in terms of the people that you steal from.
There absolutely isn't, but like some from the big guy.
But some people are going to be more affected by
it than others. They absolutely are. That doesn't mean any
of it is okay. I don't want anyone listening to
this being like, oh, Laura thinks it's okay to steal from.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
The big guys. But I'm not endorsing for anyone to
steal anything.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
But I just think, you know, as someone who owns
a business like Tony May for example, you know, I
would say ninety percent of people are super honest, ninety
percent of people do send back or do make the
right choice when it comes to, you know, returning money
to a business. But I think the reason why people
feel a little bit differently about it when it comes
to something like a big grocery store. I'm not talking
(28:51):
about your little local IgA. I'm talking about one of
your big you know, your coals, your Woollies or whatever,
is because of the markups that are existing across all
groceries and the billion dollar profit that companies are making
on food and necessities that people are needing to buy.
So I think when you see in cross media that
so many of these grocery stores have recorded billion dollar profits,
(29:14):
it makes me feel a little bit less judgmental of
someone who wants to keep one hundred and forty dollars
worth of groceries because of a quote unquote it error.
But at the end of the day, if all of
these things are true, if you are struggling financially in
the way that you say you are, then I'm kind
of like, look, you have to sometimes prioritize.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yourself morallly, yeah, morally, the answer is obviously gas light
light to your husband, say you took it back to cols,
but keep the money in your own bank.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
And the story, I don't know so, And I think
the reason why we're dancing around this is because we're
not dancing well a little bit. Is because it is
one where the right and absolute just answer is to say,
don't ever steal. There's no situation where stealing is okay.
Return what isn't yours and be an honest person. And
I do do you think that that is definitely the
right way to be in all situations in life? But
(30:05):
I think sometimes there is like things that are horrifically
bad when it comes to stealing, it comes to theft,
and it comes to how it's going to affect a person,
and then there are ways in which we allow ourselves
to justify it because there's no little guy who's getting
hurt at the bottom of it. There's massive, massive corporations,
and I'm like those I feel a little bit differently about.
But should I I don't know. Maybe I'm the one
who's a bit of an asshole here as well. Well.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I also think it's a different story when if you
were going through the grocery checkout line and you just
quickly took the money and ran off knowing that you
weren't paying for it. It's different, like it's I actually don't
think it is.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
I do.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I think it's an intention Yeah, you set out to
intentionally steal. It's very different to this being an it
mistake later at home that you found out a couple
of days later. Like that is hugely different to having
the malicious intent to steal from somebody.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Okay, Well, here's my question though, because regardless of whether
it's an opportunistic theft or an intentional theft, at the
end of the day, it is still a theft. It
is still it is still the same amount of money
that you're taking from a business.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
So if you don't feel comfortable to.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Walk down the aisle and put one hundred and forty
dollars worth of groceries in your back pockets and up
your skirt, then is it morally different to take advantage
of a situation where you are profiting from something that's
an incorrect error and that business is being affected in
the exact same way. Intent is the difference between going
to prison or not. Intent is a huge thing. Like,
let's not downplay intent. Look, I'm still on your side, but.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
I think that's like a bigger thing to unpack, Like
whether something's done maliciously or opportunistically, the outcome is the
same because it turns into being malicious because you've got
the opportunity to correct your ways.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, look, is it wrong? Yes, it is wrong. Yeah,
Like it doesn't have to go further than that. Stealing
is wrong, Stealing is not right. You have taken money
and you do know about it.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Kesha's like that I would do it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, But I having said that, I think in this
economic climate, I genuinely believe and maybe you guys can
all think in your own head what you would do
right now, I genuinely believe there'd be a lot of people,
probably more people than not, that would just keep this
not mentioned the glitch. That's what I believe.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I absolutely agree with you, Britt, and I think this
would be such an interesting one to poll.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Because I would love to.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Know whether or not you guys as listeners feel more
of a moral obligation than what we're saying we would.
And I would return it because financially, I'm not in
a situation that this woman is in. But if all
of these things were my financial situation, if I was
finding it hard to make ends meet at the end
of the week.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Fuck one hundred and forty bucks can go a long way.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Question number three. I'm twenty eight and have never been
in a relationship. A couple of years ago, I wrote
a list of my ideal man ambitious, funny, chatty, reliable,
et cetera, et cetera. So when I was dating, I
wouldn't entertain anyone that wasn't right for me. I was
being very intentional, I mean, the early stages of dating someone.
And he ticks everything off the list. He's really great.
(32:49):
I feel safe with him, and my friends absolutely love him.
There's just one small thing that's niggling at me, and
in the grand scheme of things, it's really not major,
especially as he ticks everything else off the list. But
as I haven't been in a relationship before, I'm still
figuring it all out. I always pictured myself with someone
being the center of their friend group, someone that can
(33:11):
dominate a room in a sense I guess a bit cocky.
But this guy isn't really like that. That's not to
say he's not confident, but I suppose it looks different
to how I envisioned it. I realize I'm overthinking and doubting,
and it doesn't help that we only see each other
once a month, we live far away from each other.
But any thoughts or advice, I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
I think it's good to get intentional with what you
want in a relationship, but not that eat like that's
way too intentional, Like that's too specific around. I mean
maybe if that is something that's really important to you,
I would question how important is it and does it
sit above things like feeling safe, being treated well being,
you know, given respect, having someone who's funny and takes
(33:51):
literally every single other box that you've given It isn't
dominant in the room, which people can be dominant and
being incredible people at the same time. But sometimes people
who are the most dominant or the most like look
at me person in that friendship group may not have
all the other qualities that you desire as well. They
may be someone who you end up finding and encountering
(34:13):
other problems with because they like to be the center
of attention.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
They need more XYZ.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Now, I'm not saying that that means that every single
person who's like that is a problem, no, But.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Also sometimes there are people that are the center of
attention and quite dominant in a room, actually not as
confident in their private life, like in their selves. Sometimes
that is a cover and a front. We see that
a lot totally.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Or it could be someone who displays all those characteristics
and actually there's someone who loves external validation and that's
part of the reason why they're so bravado in all
these other situations, and then you run into the issue
of them needing validation from other people beyond your relationship.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I think getting down into the granular, nitty gritty of
your expectations in a partner, there's a fine line. It
can be really tricky because on one hand, and I
know we have said it before, set your intention, create
a list around like what it is that you want
in a person. But I think that there is a
point where you become too specific and you become almost
(35:08):
like you build a human that doesn't exist. And if
you don't entertain anybody else that sits outside of that
like very specific criteria, you're never going to meet anyone
that meets every single thing that you need.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
At the end of the day, if that is so
important to you, then maybe the person's not for you.
But what I do want to say, is that a
person that ticks every single box completely doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
There is no human in the world.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
That you will one hundred percent absolutely love and not
disagree with and be completely satisfied with as a whole. Like,
they don't exist. And I want to say, you don't
want them to exist? What a boring existence it would
be to have two humans who worship the ground that
we walk on. We don't have any disagreements. We you know, like,
it just doesn't exist. It's not a thing. And I
don't want you to go and shut out this person
(35:54):
who you've said is incredible and sounds like he ticks
all those wonderful foundation building blocks that you need for
a relationship to just because he's not walking into a
room being the life of the party, like.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
You also think that like and this is like a
condition I think some of us experience. Some people are
chronic overthinkers, and so even when things are good, their
brain will try and find something that's wrong. Like their
brain will try and find, well, what's the thing that
I can do to pick this apart? And it, yeah,
it turns into it kind of goes into a bit
of an area of like potential self sabotage. I mean,
(36:28):
I don't want to give a specific example, but I
definitely have friends who always look for the negative in
the situation that they're in, and that can be really exhausting.
You know, if you're if you're quite happy and everything
else is great, I think always looking for like, well,
what's that one thing that hasn't fulfilled me? Is going
to leave you feeling a place of being ungrateful in life,
rather than focusing on all the things that he does
(36:50):
that's amazing and is giving you what you wanted out
of a relationship.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
I also want to say that sometimes life doesn't pan out.
Most of the time does out how we envision it.
Even in my own relationship, I could say the same thing.
I always thought I would be with somebody that was
like the life of the party and really funny, and
Ben is he's really quiet and shy, like he's really reserved.
Thank fucking hindsight, because he's got me like somebody that
talks underwater. But it sounds to me like you are
(37:18):
maybe self sabotaging a little bit, because if somebody treats
you exactly how you want them to be and everything
else you want in a relationship. And if that really
is the only aspect is that cockiness in a group,
I wouldn't be calling it a red flag. I wouldn't
be calling it quits on this relationship yet, and I
wouldn't be overthinking it. I would just be seeing where
(37:39):
the relationship goes. You probably do need to try to
see each other more than once, especially while you're getting
to know each other. Maybe if it's still early days,
maybe he's still been a little bit reserved as well
when you're there. Maybe he's still trying to woo you
and when you over and doesn't want to be too
much or whatever that factor is. But he sounds pretty great.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I also think like and tell me what you think, Britt,
I'm I'm trying to think through every single person I
know or every relationship I've been in where I've dated
someone who is overtly and I use the word cocky
like real bravado and I, you know, like the most
dominant guy, and you know, they've always ended up being
a bit of a dick, Like they've always ended up
(38:17):
being problematic, someone who has like cheated on their girlfriends,
cheated on me, or just like not treated women one
hundred percent in a way that's like respectful. There is
something about that type of bravado that isn't necessarily conducive
for a great relationship or for someone who is a
great character in other ways. I want to be really
careful because I'm not saying that every single person who's
(38:39):
like confident and an alpha is necessarily a bad person.
But I think a sense of cockiness, like overt cockiness,
is definitely not a characteristic that I would write down
as an admirable or desirable characteristic in my partner.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah, but everyone's different, And I guess that's what you've
got to think. At the end of the day. You've
written your list of what you want, which is great,
we love that.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yes, But the big thing about writing a list about
what you want is why why do you want it?
Why do you want someone who is cocky? Why do
you want someone who has bravado or is like the
center of attention? And I think if you don't have
a good reason for the why that's important to you,
then I don't necessarily think the list is working in
your favor.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Yeah. Look, I think it's silly. This is what I'll say.
I think that if you're gonna have doubts about this
relationship because of only that one factor, and that's all
that we have to go off right now, because that's
what you're written in.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
I think that that's silly.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
I think you should embrace the relationship and embrace the
important qualities of feeling safe, friends love, you have fun together.
That is far more important. If you date for a
little while and it doesn't work out, that's okay as well.
But you're asking us if putting so much weight on
this one aspect of dominating a room and he's not
what you thought he would be when he's with his
(39:50):
friends group, then no, I think that that's silly. I
think you need to ride this out. Bury that insecurity.
Maybe think if you're trying to self sabotage, I've been there,
did it to all my past relationships. Just maybe embrace
it for what it is. No one is going to
fit your mold one hundred all right, guys, Well that
is it and all the questions for today. If you
have a question for Asking Cut and you want to
(40:10):
slide on into the DMS, it's at Life Uncut podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Just righte Askuncut at the top. We love receiving your questions. Also,
if you have any sort of aftermath, if we've ever
answered a question for you and the advice was good
or bad, please.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Let us go.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Said with so much confidence, Laura, because we love being
able to update you guys on whether the advice or
what happened.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Basically, it's like never knowing the ending of a problem.
Don't forget. Vibes are on the website. Merch jumpers are
on the website. I think there are still some hats
on the website too, you know what, actually hats ready
as well. And we'll see you guys next week. Don't forget,
don't forget. Tell you I like that. See you guys
next week.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
See you guys next week.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Talk to your friends and shared a love because we
love the kabaka, the bay kapapaa
Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
elders past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is us Gun Cut
where we answer you're.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Dark and burning and deep down and dirty questions. Yeah,
Therapy Thursday, we call it, we do us.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I mean, we've been calling it that for five years.
And you know why we've been calling.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It that for five years, because that's the name. Because
it's our five year birthday. Bitches today, No, it was
last week and we didn't celebrate. Why do we miss
every milestone ever? July seventeen was actually our birthday. It's
now what July twenty five when we're recording this, twenty
July twenty four, one week exactly delayed. So we recorded
on our anniversary.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We did, and we completely forgot. And so I'm here
to tell you that we have been.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
A happy family. Ben and I celebrated our six month
anniversary and I can't even remember the podcast five year anniversary.
Look in our defense, though, I mean I've had Tony
May for almost sixteen years now, and not once have
I celebrated a birthday. To me, you're like five years old,
sixteen or fifteen, maybe it's fifteen. I've not celebrated a birthday,
so I can't remember. But I started when I was
(01:24):
in my early twenties. So ya, I'm fucking old.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Go's how old you are? Do the match shocks me?
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Five years her, Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Bridge.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I would just like to say, oh something.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
If it's not going to be super emotional and made
me cry, I don't want to hear it. I think
I'm your longest relationship, most successful thus far. What do
you mean? Think you are one hundred percent and you
always will be too unless life Uncut finishes. If we continue,
and then Ben and I continue, you will always I
will always love me. I loved more by you. When
(01:55):
I think about my professional goals, it's to outlove Ben
with you. But am I yours? No?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
No, No. Matt is a longer relationship. I met him first,
and then that is technically how.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I met you.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So I always unrequited love. Everyone stided, Yeah, but it is,
but it's not as the same. It is a little
bit triangulated, but it's returned.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Britt.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
You know you came into my life and you are
right up there as number one. I did have a
five year I mean an eight year relationship. You remember,
so long ago. Your life didn't work evidently, but I
still had it. So I still feel like you've got
a trumpet, do you know what?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Not the same?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
But I always forget Delilah's birthday too. That's so harsh,
but I don't think that matters as much. She doesn't
know she's a dog. Okay, can I say one more thing?
Oh God, do you remember?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Okay, God, I can't even remember my own birthday. There
must be so.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Many people that listen to this when I make these
analogies and be like, fucking shut up. Okay, But I'm
always going to make these analogies because I don't have kids.
I always say this thing. I can only imagine what
a parent feels like. Because remember when last year I
think it was, there was one of the dogs from
the dog park. It was its birthday. And remember, because
we live in the eastern Beaches of Sydney, the dogs
(03:00):
had a birthday party. They hired the owner hired a
mini van and went around and picked up all the
dogs for the birthday party. Took it to somewhere that
they hired out. All the dogs had a party, They
had cake, they had hats. Then the minibus dropped all
the dogs back.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I remember this.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Delilah was not invited to the dog park birthday. I
was like, I imagine this is what it's like when
you're a parent and your kid doesn't get invited to
a party. Because I was up in arms, I was like,
why would you exclude Delilah? Why is she the only
dog from the dog park. There was one other Australian
shepherd that also didn't get any fish. Delilah's best friend.
It was Blue, Delilah's best friend. They're the mean girls,
(03:36):
that's why. No, they're not the mean girls.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Blues a boy.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Anyway, that took a segway. But going back to the
life on cut birthday, we laugh. But it's such an achievement,
the fact that we've had this podcast for five years
and it's almost I think we're around like seventy seven
million downloads, yeah, nearly eighty million. That is one we
will celebrate five years over five one hundred and something episodes.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
We are not six hundred.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
We are not people who I think, you know, a
lot of other brands out there, and this is not
I think it's actually an amazing thing. I think people
should celebrate their achievements, and I think we should celebrate
them loudly, but we haven't necessarily done that over the years,
and it's because often the achievements kind of come and
pass us by. And I really was going, like Matt
and I were talking about it the other night when
(04:23):
we were talking about the fact that we've had this
business for five years now.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Hate hobby that you had.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
That's a cute hobby that Matt told me, You know,
no one listens to podcasts, Like, why would I want to?
I was, you know, at the time, as you guys know,
I was pregnant. Matt was kind of like, why are
you taking on more things to do as hobbies?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
As hobbies? He was like, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
But he's obviously so proud of everything that we've achieved Britain,
and he's also a podcaster now.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Has a podcasts. It's a shame that no one listens to.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Podcasts, but we are so incredibly grateful for everything that
you guys as listeners, have allowed us to be able
to create and achieve, because if it wasn't for you
coming on and some of you are OJ listeners, you've
been there from the very very start, some of your
recent some of you been there at all different parts
of your journey. But if there's ever been an episode
that we've done that has meant something to you or
(05:07):
it's helped you in some way, even if that's anything
from just giving you a laugh all the way to
helping you through a really challenging part of your relationship,
it means everything to us. And that's been like the
absolute kind of juice that's kept this thing going.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
We had no direction whatsoever when we started. I remember
we were like, let's just do it a couple of episodes,
see what happens, and here we are.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
See it's funny. I think we had so much direction.
I think we knew exactly what we wanted to do
with it.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
We didn't might be the wrong word, yeah, I mean
like we didn't know how long it was going to last.
We were like, let's just put a couple episodes out
and see what happened.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
But we always knew what the core values of life
on Cut Work.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We always knew what we wanted to do with it.
We always knew the conversations we wanted to have. Pinkies
and stinkies.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I know that we're.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Making it out like we've got some sort of deep
political podcast that's moved mountains. No, but we wanted to
talk about relationships and that's where this whole thing started,
and I think at its very core, even though we
talk about lots of things these days, we always come
back to things that matter when it comes to relationships,
and whether that relationship is with your partner, whether that's
a relationship with your job, whether that's your relationship with money,
(06:08):
or whether that's your relationship with yourself. They're the episodes
that I think mean the most to me. And this
is just taking a second to say, I'm so fucking
grateful that we get to do this for a job,
So thank.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
You, guys.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Do you know what one thing that I don't know
if I've ever told you guys this, I hope I have,
because I was a listener before I worked for you,
and I it was twenty twenty that I started listening
to the podcast.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I was living in Victoria.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Anyone who was down there at that time, need I
say more. We really lacked connection because we were in
lockdown for the whole fucking year, and the podcast was
this form of connection for me. It made me feel
less lonely, and I think that I just felt like
I had like.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
A sense of what was going on. But also it
was like an easy entry and I think that still
exists now for a lot of people.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Like sometimes if you're not feeling that great, you can
check a podcast on and feel better. Sometimes if you
just want to go for a walk by yourself and
listen to something, but you don't have to give much
mental input. The give amount of people who have message
and be like, I know, oh you don't know me,
but I feel like we're best friends. That is like
such a privilege. It's I you know, guys, I'm going
to get emotional. I'm just very grateful and I'm so
happy that we get to do this for a job
(07:09):
and happy birthday life on cut because five years is
a fucking huge achievement in this world, and I'm really
proud of us.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
The funniest thing just happened actually, just before we're coming
in here. I was lining up to get our coffees
at the coffee shop, and so I was ordering and
talking to the women behind the counter and we're having
a laugh because we all know each other at work,
having a big laugh. And then I turned around and
the girl that was directly behind me was like, oh
my god. She's like, it makes so much sense, and
she turned her phone around. She's like, I'm listening to
you right now. But then I was like, why does
(07:36):
it sound like surround sound? Because I because I was
in front of her also laughing and talking. So she
was looking at her phone being like, is it skippy?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Is it doc?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah? She was like, what's happening? It was literally surround sound?
And I was like, oh, I love that, Thank you
so much for listening. But it was a very funny moment.
But there the moments we froth, like when you actually
see someone in.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
The wild and we get to meet you guys, can
I say really quickly I know we're going on. I
had that happen. It was only a couple of weeks ago.
I was in Tony May.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I had Delilah, a beautiful listener walked in.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
She looked at me, She looked at Delilah and she
kind of was just like, what.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
The She's like, you were phone and she showed me.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
She's like, I'm listening to you, guys.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'm in Low's store, You're like, and.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
She was shopping for earrings for her wedding.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
It was so lovely and I thought, this is actually
such a funny, like full circle moment. Doesn't get more
life on three components of this, And yeah, it was
very it was a really nice moment.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
All of that said, I think it's probably time for
vibes and unsubscribed. Yeah, okay, I will start then. My
vibe this week is a Netflix documentary, very timely because
of the Olympics. It's Simone Biles. The documentary story is
called Simone Biles Rising. It's only two episodes I think
of two hours each, so probably for four and a
half fish. I don't know exactly, but it's not too long.
(09:00):
And if you don't know someone Biles, she's the most
decorated gymnast of all time and she's absolutely incredible. She's
American and you may or may not remember, but back
in twenty twenty at Tokyo Olympics, everyone was like, cool,
She's gonna wipe the floor. With gold medals because she's
so incredible, Like she has gymnastic moves named after her
(09:21):
because she's the only one that can do them. She's
just so good that she makes up new moves with
new spins and twists, and no one else can do them.
So what happened in the twenty twenty Olympics was she
actually pulled out. She's something started happening to her that
has never happened. She wasn't landing, she was going up
and like you know, hitting the springboard, doing nothing like
what she was supposed to be doing. And she ended
(09:43):
up talking a lot in this documentary about what happened then.
And it's something called like the twisties or something that
happens inside a gymnast's head where the brain no longer
can connect to the body, almost like a vertigo type thing. Yes,
and it's something that happens in the gymnastic world with
how many spins and they do. It's like the thing
that they all fear. So she would be going and
(10:03):
doing the jumps in the air and the flips and
her brain's like triple flip whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, but
it's just not connecting and a body can't do it.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
So wow, that's so petrifying.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah. So she had to pull out because you can die. Yeah, yea, yes,
And she wasn't being able to compete anyway, so she
pulled out, and then it just follows she never thought
she would compete again. She talks a lot about her
mental health and finding her husband, who's a football player
over there. She never thought she'd make her way back,
but she's at the Olympics now, so this is her comeback.
And the documentaries followed her the last couple of years.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Netflix.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Netflix.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Okay, did it.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Cover the controversy that happened with the coaches, Yes, yeah, yeah.
It also she also touches on a lot of you
might remember to a lot of the sexual assault accusations
that happened within the gymnastics team in America and all
of the young girls came well they're not young girls now,
they're women, but they were young girls when it happened.
It covers that as well. So that also leads into
her having to admit that she's having some mental health
(10:57):
issues and that was a really big thing for her
to say, I actually do need to go and get help,
especially in that athlete world where everyone puts you on
the pedestal and you don't have these shoes. So yeah,
I found it fascinating, educational, inspiring, really great, unreal. I
have a bit of a different vibe for this week.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
My book club have started I say reading, but I
am an audiobook girl.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
The club I've started reading.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Until then we just drink wine.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Well, I was in it for the social aspect, to
be honest, I've started reading. That's the best line they read.
I listen to the audio books you can get.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
If you pay for Spotify Premium, you can get fifteen
hours of free audio books per month. So this one
I just found out. It was only released twenty days ago.
It is by Shari Lapina. Now she might be familiar
to you because she has written thrillers called The Couple.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Next Door, which I think they turned into a TV series.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I just watched that with Sam Hugh and my celebrity
crup It's Changer in the House and unwod Guest. She
is a New York Times wstling author over and over
and over again. This is her new one called Everyone
Here Is Lying. I'll just read out the plotline for you.
William Willer is a family man on the show, but
he's been having an affair and that affair ended horribly
this afternoon at a motel up the road. So when
(12:05):
he returns to his house, devastated and angry to find
his difficult nine year old daughter Avery unexpectedly home from school,
William loses his temper. Hours later, Avery's family declare her missing. Suddenly,
Stanhope doesn't feel so safe and William isn't the only
one on the street who's hiding a lie. As witnesses
come forward with information that may or may not be true,
(12:27):
Avery's neighbors become increasingly unhinged. Well, initially I was like,
I'm not really into thrillers. I have inhaled this book.
I've had my speaker on it around with me in
the house. Why don't you put last Night carrying boombox
because like I can shower and stuff because it's waterproof.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So She's also like, Toba needs to listen to this
as well. Everyone needs to enjoy this book. He should
with a boom box on his shoulder. Audio book The
Tiny Wonder boom Ones.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
My book club have inhaled this book in literally a day.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I love that I needed a new book.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Recommendation It's also hard when you haven't gotten a good
book in a while, you haven't sat down and read
for like a while, it's hard to know where to start.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You kind of feel like you're a bit out of
the book.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Well, page one usually, yeah, it's always a good spot anyway.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
But if you are wanting a book that like just
such easy entry that you can just consume.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
That's gripping.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Highly recommend It is called Everyone Here Is Lying by
Shari Lapina. It is brand new, just came out on
the fourth of July.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I'm excited about that recommendation, and also get excited about
this one because this is one of the best sound.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Well, I'm excited about this one.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
This is one of the best movies I have seen
in such a long time.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
It's a biographical drama.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
It's a true story and it came out last year,
but I had not heard of it, and my lovely
mother in law was like, we need to watch this.
So she watched it recently when she was in France
and it was in French, but she was like, I
think I missed parts of the storyline. I really want
to watch it again in English. Anthony Hopkins in it
the way in which the biography is told is it's
him telling his story from when he was twenty nine
(14:06):
years old. Now this story is based around the life
of a man named Nicholas Winton. He was a British
Man who went to Prague during the middle of World
War II when Hitler invaded Czechoslovakia. There was thousands of
displaced Jewish refugees in Czechoslovakia at the time, and so
he went over there.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
He was a young banker and when he got.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
There, he discovered that there were thousands of children who
were living in refugee camps at the precipice of winter
coming and he realized that they were all going to die,
They're all going to perish in winter, and so he
came back to England and with his mum they started
a ground roots charity. And what that charity did is
it put out a call out for as many British
families who would home and foster any Czechoslovakian children that
(14:50):
they could, or any of these refugee children that they could,
and they ended up homing six hundred and sixty nine children.
They got visas for them, they brought them over and
as some of you may or may not know, but
basically every single person in those refugee camps ended up
dying and being taken to concentration camp.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
So he saved so many children. It's an incredible story.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
The way in which the story's told is it's him retrospectively,
and he's such a humble man. Nobody knew at the
time the impact that he had made during the Holocaust
and the stories like a tearjerk. Holy shit, I was
a blubbering mess sitting on my couch. But I don't
want to tell you the end of it because the
end of it's really really remarkable, and you have to
watch it because it was one of those movies that
(15:33):
leaves you and it makes you think for days about it.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Please go watch it. It's called One Life.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I watched it on Apple TV, but I had to
pay for it to watch it on Apple TV. But
it is also an Amazon Prime, so there's a couple
of places where you can watch it.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
It's phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
We have some exciting news.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Usually at this point we say that the vibes go
in our show notes. But because every week, every week
we get lots of messages, we get Facebook posts in
the discussion group, saying, a couple of weeks ago someone
mentioned this and I can't remember it. I don't know
which episode it was in. I'm not going to go
back and try and find it. We now have a
place that the vibes will live.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
It is on the website.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
If you go onto Life uncutpodcast dot com dot AU.
Along the top it says episodes about us merch and
then there is a whole page that says vibes and
it will have each person's vibe. You can click on it,
it will have a link to it, and it will
live there for probably about two months. I think.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I think we'll do like eight weeks worth. Yeah, it's
not going to be there forever, so you've got to
get in quick.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Kids in kiss you did a very good job making
this happen.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Also, speaking of the website, Lifeuncut Podcast dot com dot
are you if you need yourself a jumper? There's some
really amazing, beautiful ah we love love.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Life on cut.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
They are jump It's so comfy. I'm not even just
saying this because they're ours and everyone that has ever
worn them is like, holy shit, They're such good quality.
The inside is so warm and soft. I wear mine
to death. So there's seventy nine bucks. You can go
and purchase them straight from the website, so you can
check out your vibe and get some merch on the
way out. Question number one, I'm getting married at the
(17:01):
end of this year. We sent the save the dates
February this year. Actually, that's not a lot of time.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
That's very recent.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Is a very short period of time between a save
the date and a wedding right as someone that's now
I'm coached, someone that's now thinking about these things. Guys,
that's a short amount of time.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
How much time would you leave in between the save
the date and the actual wedding date?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Well, to be honest, I want to get married this
time next year. You are fast tracking stuff like you.
I mean, I think a year is fine. I think
a year is fine. But we just couldn't get the
save the dates out, so it's probably not gonna happen anyway.
Now that's a whole other story. Let's get back to
the listeners problem. Not fine getting married later this year.
(17:41):
Since then, we have lost touch with a friend. We
never see them, we never talked to them over social media, nada.
They're still close friends with other mutual friends of ours. Though,
question is if you send someone a save the date,
do you then have to follow up with the actual
invitation or can you just ghost them? There's no other
aspect of money being an issue or anything like that.
(18:02):
It's purely just that we're not friends with them now,
we don't foresee a friendship with them in the future.
So with only like an eight month in between a
save the date and an invitation, can you cut it?
It's not even been that it's been five months, like no,
but between the wedding, Like, can you just not actually, yeah,
because when they send the invite it would have been
like two three months.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Well yeah, I mean we're only we're only July now
and this was February, so it's been five months.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Have you not sent the invitations?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But since what do you mean? She only sent the
save the date, she hasn't sent the invitation and it's
at the end of the year.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Girl, you're cutting it fine now because she sent the
save the date, So it's fine. Invitations only go out
like two months before the wedding.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
No for your wedding, they did it. I don't think
that's normal. I don't think that standard practice. So I
it's so awkward.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
It's so awkward because I feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
It's awkward because there's just not enough time between you
save the date and your actual wedding invitation and your wedding.
So that is probably why I feel differently about it
because I did this. So this happened from like Matt
and I. But the problem is I still turned up.
I know, I sent her to text and I was like,
oh God, finally she keeps nagging me.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
No, Matt and I sent up to save the dates.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
But then because of COVID, our wedding date changed multiple times.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
So did I just add one thing in before we continue?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Laura says she sent Save the Dates and then she
says she sent her invitations and we kept saying to her, Okay,
we're not invited because she hasn't actually sent them. And
I kept saying, oh have you haven't sent them. You're
like no, no, no, no, no, swhere I have. After like eight months,
we realized that she had this random website and everything
was going to spam, so no one ever got the
Save the dates and no one ever got the invitation.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Every single person except for you guys, managed to receive it.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Which is so hilarious.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Anyway, Look, it was good for me because at least
then I could pick and choose who I actually wanted
to the wedding. No, so we sent up Save the Dates.
Then our wedding date changed twice, so it got pushed
back by two years longer than when we were actually
supposed to get married because of COVID. And there was
one friend who I had sent well, actually was a couple,
but i'd sent Save the Dates to and then in
(19:59):
that two years, I had never heard from them, not
a text, not a phone call, hadn't seen them, not
a like congratulations that you had another baby, like nothing,
absolutely zilch, radio silence. So then when it came to
sending out the actual wedding invitations, Matt and we went
through the guest list. Matt was like, I've never met
this couple, and I was like, yeah, I know, because
(20:22):
you've never met them, you've never spoken to them. I
haven't spoken to them, and so I just didn't send
a wedding invitation to them.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
So I went for the ghosting route. I did that road.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
I blocked in ghost it.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I didn't send them a message to say, hey, you're
not invited, But I don't think that they were surprised
that they weren't invited, because we've very much like gone
separate ways since you know, nothing bad happened, we just
kind of fell out of our friendship. I do think
that this situation is a little bit more awkward than
what mine was. But and I might be in the
wrong for this. It's your wedding, and you're entitled to
(20:54):
invite whoever you want to to your wedding, and you
are also entitled to change your mind if you want
to change your mind. It may mean that they hold
a grudge against you, but you have said here just purely,
we're not close with them now, and I don't foresee
us being close with them in the future. So I
take that last line as though you don't care if
(21:14):
you're not friends with them in the future. So for
the sake of a bit of awkwardness, you're gonna save
yourself five hundred bucks by not having them at the wedding.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
And I would just ghost. I would just not send
them an invitation.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I am going down a different route.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I would just not send them an invitation.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Whilst I agree with what you said, like it's at
the end of the day, it is your wedding. You
absolutely do not have to invite anyone you don't want
to invite. But what I will say is I think
that you should invite them. I know, listen, hear me out.
You've said it's got nothing at all to do with money,
Like you've got the space of them, You've booked your
wedding right, you've already got their seat done, You've paid
for it. If you're a couple months out, the wedding's
paid for, you've sent invitations. You're not not friends. You
(21:52):
just haven't been in a lot of contact. You don't
see yourself friends with them in the future. I can
guarantee you're not gonna be friends with probably a lot
of people that go to your wedding. Seasons change, friendships change.
You have also said that you've got like a big
group of mutual friends. I don't think it's worth it
in this situation, when it's only a couple of months away,
you only just sent the save the dates. I don't
think it's worth it for the future awkwardness when you
(22:13):
are all in the same group to not invite them,
purely because in the future you don't think it's going
to work out if they had done something, or had
they been a huge falling out or there was you know,
a big clashing of hands or something. I totally get that,
but I think this is going to cause you so
much more hassle in the future because of how tight
your friendship group is. If it was a random that
(22:33):
lived in Perth. I say that coming Sydney that lived
five hours away, and everyone who listens in Perth is like,
we're not all random, Renee, I love you, My best
friendly is in Perth.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Renee, you will be invited to the wedding.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
You are invited to wedding yet, But like what I'm
trying to say is if they don't live close and
they're not intertwined in your life, your family or your friends,
I think that's an easy decision. But like, you're gonna
see these guys all the time, everyone's going to talk
about the wedding. You're making it awkward as fuck for
you for the next however many years.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
You're not gonna see them all the time because it's
been five months and you haven't seen them or spoken
to them, so you'll see that. Okay, I have changed
my mind slightly okay, when that's only a little bit.
I don't think you have to have them at your
wedding if you're so convinced that you're not going to
be friends with them in the future and you have
had no contact with them. I don't think that you
have to invite people out of politeness.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
To your wedding.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But maybe ghosting is not the right course of action.
I think another, probably much more palatable way of doing
it would be to send them a message saying I'm
so sorry. I know that we've sent out save the dates,
but financially we've had to downscale the wedding a little bit,
and I you know, we love you.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
We want to see you, babe. We can go out
for dinner or something pre.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Wedding, but unfortunately, because of having to downscale the size
and cost some things, we aren't able to have you
at the wedding. And I know that that means that
they're on the bottom rung of friends. But at the
same time, they probably know they're already there anyway, if
they haven't spoken to you for five months.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I don't think not talking over social media and not
seeing them a lot is indicative of not having a friendship.
And I say that because that it's like a huge
part of my life. Most of my friends I don't
see very often. They don't live here like you know.
I've got a small group of friends in Sydney, but
most of my friends who will absolutely be coming to
my wedding I probably haven't seen in ages and our
Instagram social media chat involves sporadically sending a meme to
(24:18):
the DMS or forwarding a funny thing. And that doesn't
mean I value their friendship any less, but it means
the old you get when you get to different places
in life. Sometimes that is how friendships are managed. This
is our summary. I think absolutely no one has to
go to your wedding that you don't want. But in
this particular situation, your question is I've just sent to
save the date. It's a few months to the wedding.
They're in my friendship group. Do I do it? It's
(24:39):
not a money thing. Yeah, I'm going to say, do it.
This is for me in pecular situation. So so do
you know what I'd love to know from you is,
because Laura and I have given you very different answers,
I'd love to know what you decide to do. Can
you please write in and tell us if you keep
them coming or if you cut the cord? If you
cut the cord? Are you ghosting them? Are you texting
them and being honest? What are you doing?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Also?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Oh no, you can't fucking ghost the No, don't go
for them, don't ghost them, but do send them message
saying you're downscaling the wedding.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I would I.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Would love to know if someone else has done this, like,
if you have done this with your wedding.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
This is not an uncommon things. I think it is
uncommon when it's this close.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Do you think it's uncommon?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
The only aspect here that throws me is is how
crammed together the timeframe is here between the sending the
date to now where you have to cancel them and
send the actual limitation and the actual wedding. It's like,
I think you're setting yourself up for a shit fight.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Question number two. My partner and I can't agree.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
He collected our grocery order tonight for one hundred and
forty dollars worth, but the company had an IT issue,
so we never got the message to say that our
direct to boot order don't even know what that is.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
That's where you pick it up and they put in
your boot.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Oh, our direct to boot order is ready, so he
went inside the store to grab it. Two hours later,
we got a message to say our order had been
canceled and that we would be refunded due to an
IT issue. The thing is, we got our food and
now it looks like we don't have to pay for it, as.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
The refund is going to come through now.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I think because they are a huge company and we
spend at least three hundred dollars a week from them.
I'm talking with a family of three kids, and we
buy nappies, et cetera. And we are also farmers in drought,
so we have been struggling to make ends meet. So
I think that this is a little treat. It's almost
like winning the lottery. He thinks we should ring them
to let them know that we got the food and
that we don't need a refund. I know he is
(26:26):
morally right, but surely sometimes you just have to take
a little win in life.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Interested to know your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Oh, I think everyone listening right now is going to
feel probably the same way. Morally, Yes, your husband is right,
your husband's a good man. Morally, you have received your food.
You do not need you receive them and theoretically, metaphorically
and literally, you received your food. So morally, yes, you've
(26:53):
received your food, and the money is coming back in
and that means that they are out of pocket. So
should you turn it?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Are you gonna return it? No, Let's be real. Let's
be real. I think most people in this situation would
probably want to take it like a treat. There'll be
people out there that wouldn't, that wouldn't be able to
live with themselves. That's fine. What I feel like saying
for you is, I feel like this is maybe a
little win that you need. You said, you're a farmer
that's really struggling in drought with three kids. I think
(27:24):
you're going to keep it, and I think that's probably okay.
I know people will probably come for me for that.
But if you're struggling that much and it means that
your kids get fed that week and you put nappis on,
we know how much the big supermarkets can absolutely annihilate
us sometimes.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, I know it's so wrong.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I feel guilty even saying it. If I ever accidentally
take something, I take it back because morally, that's what
I'm like, I feel really guilty, but I feel like
maybe this is a little lot of win for you.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
I think you are trying to be politically correct for
fear off people getting angry at you.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I don't steal, I take stuff back.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
No, of course, of course you don't.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
You don't intention steal, Like I don't think anyone intentionally steals.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Well, actually it's a lot. A lot of people intentionally
steal a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
But I think in this instance, and this comes to
someone who is a business owner, like I feel as
though there is and I don't want to say that
there's differences in terms of the people that you steal from.
There absolutely isn't, but like some from the big guy.
But some people are going to be more affected by
it than others. They absolutely are. That doesn't mean any
of it is okay. I don't want anyone listening to
this being like, oh, Laura thinks it's okay to steal from.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
The big guys. But I'm not endorsing for anyone to
steal anything.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
But I just think, you know, as someone who owns
a business like Tony May for example, you know, I
would say ninety percent of people are super honest, ninety
percent of people do send back or do make the
right choice when it comes to, you know, returning money
to a business. But I think the reason why people
feel a little bit differently about it when it comes
to something like a big grocery store. I'm not talking
(28:51):
about your little local IgA. I'm talking about one of
your big you know, your coals, your Woollies or whatever,
is because of the markups that are existing across all
groceries and the billion dollar profit that companies are making
on food and necessities that people are needing to buy.
So I think when you see in cross media that
so many of these grocery stores have recorded billion dollar profits,
(29:14):
it makes me feel a little bit less judgmental of
someone who wants to keep one hundred and forty dollars
worth of groceries because of a quote unquote it error.
But at the end of the day, if all of
these things are true, if you are struggling financially in
the way that you say you are, then I'm kind
of like, look, you have to sometimes prioritize.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yourself morallly, yeah, morally, the answer is obviously gas light
light to your husband, say you took it back to cols,
but keep the money in your own bank.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
And the story, I don't know so, And I think
the reason why we're dancing around this is because we're
not dancing well a little bit. Is because it is
one where the right and absolute just answer is to say,
don't ever steal. There's no situation where stealing is okay.
Return what isn't yours and be an honest person. And
I do do you think that that is definitely the
right way to be in all situations in life? But
(30:05):
I think sometimes there is like things that are horrifically
bad when it comes to stealing, it comes to theft,
and it comes to how it's going to affect a person,
and then there are ways in which we allow ourselves
to justify it because there's no little guy who's getting
hurt at the bottom of it. There's massive, massive corporations,
and I'm like those I feel a little bit differently about.
But should I I don't know. Maybe I'm the one
who's a bit of an asshole here as well. Well.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I also think it's a different story when if you
were going through the grocery checkout line and you just
quickly took the money and ran off knowing that you
weren't paying for it. It's different, like it's I actually don't
think it is.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
I do.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I think it's an intention Yeah, you set out to
intentionally steal. It's very different to this being an it
mistake later at home that you found out a couple
of days later. Like that is hugely different to having
the malicious intent to steal from somebody.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Okay, Well, here's my question though, because regardless of whether
it's an opportunistic theft or an intentional theft, at the
end of the day, it is still a theft. It
is still it is still the same amount of money
that you're taking from a business.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
So if you don't feel comfortable to.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Walk down the aisle and put one hundred and forty
dollars worth of groceries in your back pockets and up
your skirt, then is it morally different to take advantage
of a situation where you are profiting from something that's
an incorrect error and that business is being affected in
the exact same way. Intent is the difference between going
to prison or not. Intent is a huge thing. Like,
let's not downplay intent. Look, I'm still on your side, but.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
I think that's like a bigger thing to unpack, Like
whether something's done maliciously or opportunistically, the outcome is the
same because it turns into being malicious because you've got
the opportunity to correct your ways.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, look, is it wrong? Yes, it is wrong. Yeah,
Like it doesn't have to go further than that. Stealing
is wrong, Stealing is not right. You have taken money
and you do know about it.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Kesha's like that I would do it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, But I having said that, I think in this
economic climate, I genuinely believe and maybe you guys can
all think in your own head what you would do
right now, I genuinely believe there'd be a lot of people,
probably more people than not, that would just keep this
not mentioned the glitch. That's what I believe.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I absolutely agree with you, Britt, and I think this
would be such an interesting one to poll.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Because I would love to.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Know whether or not you guys as listeners feel more
of a moral obligation than what we're saying we would.
And I would return it because financially, I'm not in
a situation that this woman is in. But if all
of these things were my financial situation, if I was
finding it hard to make ends meet at the end
of the week.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Fuck one hundred and forty bucks can go a long way.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Question number three. I'm twenty eight and have never been
in a relationship. A couple of years ago, I wrote
a list of my ideal man ambitious, funny, chatty, reliable,
et cetera, et cetera. So when I was dating, I
wouldn't entertain anyone that wasn't right for me. I was
being very intentional, I mean, the early stages of dating someone.
And he ticks everything off the list. He's really great.
(32:49):
I feel safe with him, and my friends absolutely love him.
There's just one small thing that's niggling at me, and
in the grand scheme of things, it's really not major,
especially as he ticks everything else off the list. But
as I haven't been in a relationship before, I'm still
figuring it all out. I always pictured myself with someone
being the center of their friend group, someone that can
(33:11):
dominate a room in a sense I guess a bit cocky.
But this guy isn't really like that. That's not to
say he's not confident, but I suppose it looks different
to how I envisioned it. I realize I'm overthinking and doubting,
and it doesn't help that we only see each other
once a month, we live far away from each other.
But any thoughts or advice, I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
I think it's good to get intentional with what you
want in a relationship, but not that eat like that's
way too intentional, Like that's too specific around. I mean
maybe if that is something that's really important to you,
I would question how important is it and does it
sit above things like feeling safe, being treated well being,
you know, given respect, having someone who's funny and takes
(33:51):
literally every single other box that you've given It isn't
dominant in the room, which people can be dominant and
being incredible people at the same time. But sometimes people
who are the most dominant or the most like look
at me person in that friendship group may not have
all the other qualities that you desire as well. They
may be someone who you end up finding and encountering
(34:13):
other problems with because they like to be the center
of attention.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
They need more XYZ.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Now, I'm not saying that that means that every single
person who's like that is a problem, no, But.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Also sometimes there are people that are the center of
attention and quite dominant in a room, actually not as
confident in their private life, like in their selves. Sometimes
that is a cover and a front. We see that
a lot totally.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Or it could be someone who displays all those characteristics
and actually there's someone who loves external validation and that's
part of the reason why they're so bravado in all
these other situations, and then you run into the issue
of them needing validation from other people beyond your relationship.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I think getting down into the granular, nitty gritty of
your expectations in a partner, there's a fine line. It
can be really tricky because on one hand, and I
know we have said it before, set your intention, create
a list around like what it is that you want
in a person. But I think that there is a
point where you become too specific and you become almost
(35:08):
like you build a human that doesn't exist. And if
you don't entertain anybody else that sits outside of that
like very specific criteria, you're never going to meet anyone
that meets every single thing that you need.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
At the end of the day, if that is so
important to you, then maybe the person's not for you.
But what I do want to say, is that a
person that ticks every single box completely doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
There is no human in the world.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
That you will one hundred percent absolutely love and not
disagree with and be completely satisfied with as a whole. Like,
they don't exist. And I want to say, you don't
want them to exist? What a boring existence it would
be to have two humans who worship the ground that
we walk on. We don't have any disagreements. We you know, like,
it just doesn't exist. It's not a thing. And I
don't want you to go and shut out this person
(35:54):
who you've said is incredible and sounds like he ticks
all those wonderful foundation building blocks that you need for
a relationship to just because he's not walking into a
room being the life of the party, like.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
You also think that like and this is like a
condition I think some of us experience. Some people are
chronic overthinkers, and so even when things are good, their
brain will try and find something that's wrong. Like their
brain will try and find, well, what's the thing that
I can do to pick this apart? And it, yeah,
it turns into it kind of goes into a bit
of an area of like potential self sabotage. I mean,
(36:28):
I don't want to give a specific example, but I
definitely have friends who always look for the negative in
the situation that they're in, and that can be really exhausting.
You know, if you're if you're quite happy and everything
else is great, I think always looking for like, well,
what's that one thing that hasn't fulfilled me? Is going
to leave you feeling a place of being ungrateful in life,
rather than focusing on all the things that he does
(36:50):
that's amazing and is giving you what you wanted out
of a relationship.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
I also want to say that sometimes life doesn't pan out.
Most of the time does out how we envision it.
Even in my own relationship, I could say the same thing.
I always thought I would be with somebody that was
like the life of the party and really funny, and
Ben is he's really quiet and shy, like he's really reserved.
Thank fucking hindsight, because he's got me like somebody that
talks underwater. But it sounds to me like you are
(37:18):
maybe self sabotaging a little bit, because if somebody treats
you exactly how you want them to be and everything
else you want in a relationship. And if that really
is the only aspect is that cockiness in a group,
I wouldn't be calling it a red flag. I wouldn't
be calling it quits on this relationship yet, and I
wouldn't be overthinking it. I would just be seeing where
(37:39):
the relationship goes. You probably do need to try to
see each other more than once, especially while you're getting
to know each other. Maybe if it's still early days,
maybe he's still been a little bit reserved as well
when you're there. Maybe he's still trying to woo you
and when you over and doesn't want to be too
much or whatever that factor is. But he sounds pretty great.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I also think like and tell me what you think, Britt,
I'm I'm trying to think through every single person I
know or every relationship I've been in where I've dated
someone who is overtly and I use the word cocky
like real bravado and I, you know, like the most
dominant guy, and you know, they've always ended up being
a bit of a dick, Like they've always ended up
(38:17):
being problematic, someone who has like cheated on their girlfriends,
cheated on me, or just like not treated women one
hundred percent in a way that's like respectful. There is
something about that type of bravado that isn't necessarily conducive
for a great relationship or for someone who is a
great character in other ways. I want to be really
careful because I'm not saying that every single person who's
(38:39):
like confident and an alpha is necessarily a bad person.
But I think a sense of cockiness, like overt cockiness,
is definitely not a characteristic that I would write down
as an admirable or desirable characteristic in my partner.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah, but everyone's different, And I guess that's what you've
got to think. At the end of the day. You've
written your list of what you want, which is great,
we love that.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yes, But the big thing about writing a list about
what you want is why why do you want it?
Why do you want someone who is cocky? Why do
you want someone who has bravado or is like the
center of attention? And I think if you don't have
a good reason for the why that's important to you,
then I don't necessarily think the list is working in
your favor.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Yeah. Look, I think it's silly. This is what I'll say.
I think that if you're gonna have doubts about this
relationship because of only that one factor, and that's all
that we have to go off right now, because that's
what you're written in.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
I think that that's silly.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
I think you should embrace the relationship and embrace the
important qualities of feeling safe, friends love, you have fun together.
That is far more important. If you date for a
little while and it doesn't work out, that's okay as well.
But you're asking us if putting so much weight on
this one aspect of dominating a room and he's not
what you thought he would be when he's with his
(39:50):
friends group, then no, I think that that's silly. I
think you need to ride this out. Bury that insecurity.
Maybe think if you're trying to self sabotage, I've been there,
did it to all my past relationships. Just maybe embrace
it for what it is. No one is going to
fit your mold one hundred all right, guys, Well that
is it and all the questions for today. If you
have a question for Asking Cut and you want to
(40:10):
slide on into the DMS, it's at Life Uncut podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Just righte Askuncut at the top. We love receiving your questions. Also,
if you have any sort of aftermath, if we've ever
answered a question for you and the advice was good
or bad, please.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Let us go.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Said with so much confidence, Laura, because we love being
able to update you guys on whether the advice or
what happened.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Basically, it's like never knowing the ending of a problem.
Don't forget. Vibes are on the website. Merch jumpers are
on the website. I think there are still some hats
on the website too, you know what, actually hats ready
as well. And we'll see you guys next week. Don't forget,
don't forget. Tell you I like that. See you guys
next week.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
See you guys next week.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Talk to your friends and shared a love because we
love the kabaka, the bay kapapaa
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.