Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is ask gun Katch,
where you're writing your deep starts burning questions.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
We do our d darndest to answer them.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
I really did enjoy last week's one about pubes the
pube fetish. Oh well, they're lating to it again last night,
and I was like, that was a great question.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
The styling.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Did you think about styling yours?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Nah, I gave it a trim. We're back down to nothing.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
How did you give it a true.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I felt inspired. Oh look, I'm not a hedge clipper around.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
I am not saying that it is well like, it's
well done. I have no idea how patch it is.
No one's seen down there for a while, but at
some point soon my obstration is going to look down there.
And so I was like, at least I should try
and figure out what's going on.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Isn't it funny?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
It's the feel basis at the moment. It's not bad sight.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Why do women do that when we're like, oh, we're
going to a doctor or we're going to some one
that could see it, like we need to trim it
and style it, and why do we do that?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Like it's just PUBI hair totally. My obstetrition does not
give a fuck fucks zero.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
You don't think it's gonna impressed with you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Mo Hawk, Like, like, what do you think playing back inside?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I'm pretty sure I still would have a hairy crack anyway,
I'm going to reach everywhere.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Why is your obstitrican looking at your crap?
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Don't they see everything when you're giving birth, they see
it all like they'll see.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah, but your obstitrician appointments not fingering your crack?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Like, let me see what?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I don't know where you go Sometimes I really worry
about you.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Your obstitrition is he in like a back room in
a dark ally with flashing lights?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Neon sign, baby looks great.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I think we did talk about the other week on
an Ask Guncut episode. You guys might remember it's probably
the only thing that I brought to the podcast this year,
so I thought i'd bring it back up the Thirsty
Hamster if you missed it. It's a new sex position
that's going viral. When I say it's going viral. There's
been a few media outlets speaking about it.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, it's definitely not viral.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
It's definitely been spoken about on TikTok. Has anyone ever
tried it unsure until now? So just to kind of
set up what it is in case you missed it. Basically,
the way the Thirsty Hamster works is that you have
to get your partner or whoever has the penis in
the relationship, to lay on the roof of the car.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Now, this only works if you have a sunroof.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Convertible or it's very nat It doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
If you have a convertible because how are you going
to plank on that, right.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Because you've got convertibles that are only like three quarters
and stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Yeah, So imagine like you know those dickie sunroofs that
like a lot of the cars have these days, where
it's just like a cutout square.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
You didn't even intentionally do that.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
So Dickie laid on your Dickie sunroof with your dicky
out through your pan, popping through the sunroof, and then
the person in the car has to give head to
the person who's laying on top of the car.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
It's the dumbest I'm sorry, it's the dumbest sex vision.
Also the neck pain that the person that is in
the car sucking like that is a not a comfortable position.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
No, no, it's terrible. I wasn't recommending it.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
I was just having a laugh about the visual and
the reason why it's called the thirsty hamster obviously is
you know how when you have like a guinea pig
or a hamster, or does anyone in Astraia have a hamster?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
No?
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Do you know it's illegal to just have one hamsters?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah, only in some countries.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, Nordic countries, the countries that can more, that's wow,
because they get lonely.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh. You also couldn't do the sex position with anyone either.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Typically you don't actually need a hamster for this because
that would be illegal.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So bestiality.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
So you know how they have like rabbits and guinea
pigs and stuff have that water bottle with like the
little metal tube and then they got when they drink
out of it, So imagine the penis is the metal tube.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
There we go, there's the visual. We brought it up.
It was funny.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
We all had a laugh about it, and the consensus
on this was that who on earth would ever try it?
And let me tell you one of our true blue
lifers who is just she's here for us, she's doing
the most. She really did. She came through with the gourtz.
Well she's written this, hey, girls, true life are here.
The last Epps said to write in if anyone has
tried the Thirsty Hamster.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
And I'm here to say that.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Hubby and I were laughing so hard about this on
the pod in the car and thought, fuck it, let's
try it just for the lolls.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
And it was honestly the funniest thing ever. And also
some feedback.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Your head has to be completely back like the Exorcist
for it to work.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Here's my point. It is the most uncomfortable thing for
I mean, the person up top just gets to lay down.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Love that. It's like Howby and I were laughing. Yeah,
of course he was laughing. He's like, oh so funny.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
You try it.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, let's try something else.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
You'll try it again. And just to make sure, I
wonder if it's possible, I vibrates.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
I have a question, So like, where did you do it?
Were you parked in the garage?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, you're not doing it on the main street.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
We just pulled into your driveway, Like where were you? Nah,
you're in the garage.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
It's public.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
In decency, you can't just fuck on the street like
life one God told me to do it, Like that's
not gonna fly when a policeman pulled you over.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
But I reckon worse things have happened anyway. Look, let's
get into bars and unsubscribed you can answer your questions.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
These a number of people.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
That have gotten in trouble from giving blowjobs driving in
a car because been caught on camera, like phone camera.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
I think that that's like a really young person thing,
like I feel like you do when you're in young love.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Like I don't know any are less risk of it.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
What do you know? I mean like I feel we
definitely hurt the people double.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
It's like for me when Ben was here because only
here for a short period of time. No, but I feel
like it's one of those things that everyone attempts when
they're in their early twenties or and then you get
old and you're like not giving people blowjobs while the
car's going ever, just like mad, It's like what do
you mean when the car's going that's.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Like what that's like, what's a blow drop?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
That is?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I laughed you hard because it's true, poor Matt.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Maybe you need to give him one, oh, just for like,
I don't know, you bending your neck back like that
to do the thirsty hands while are you're pregnant?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And that's too right?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
To do it with my neck boatog I try.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I wouldn't be able to do it.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I wouldn't be able to hold my neck up.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
To do it.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Yeah, I'm not giving that one to go.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
All right, let's vibes I subscribed.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I'm gonna start with my vibe because it's probably the
most boringom.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Should I go there? No?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
No, it is a product and it's something so niche,
but I think a lot of people will benefit from it.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I don't think it actually has a name, but we're.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Calling it the phone card holder, Are you right?
Speaker 1 (06:21):
No?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Because it's like this really niche. You can just get
them on Amazon, you get them from anywhere. They're really cheap.
It's an organizational tool. So they're like these little stick.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
On, round like adhesive things that can go anywhere. So
the idea is they hold your phone cards.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
So if you've got one hundred cords behind a lounge
or something.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Oh yeah, I have seen these.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah, so, like I mean, you've googled it, but like
they just stick on and it's got a magnet. It
clicks your cord in and it holds it up high.
So if you've got like cords for me, for example,
in my lounge room, behind my lounge is where my
PowerPoint is and I have phone cards and laptop charges.
But they go so far down so you can stick
them on the wall behind the lounge and it just
magnetizes your cording to it so that it's just organized, neat, tidy.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
They don't get messed up. It's the easiest thing.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
You can stick them next to your bed or work
on your desk, in your car. They're just an adhesive
but stick anywhere and holds all different kinds of chords.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
I feel like we're gonna need a very specific link
for this because hunless someone's seen it, they're all like
cords and stick on it.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
No, that's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
That's when I said it doesn't actually like have a name,
but it's on Amazon. If you just google Amazon phone
called holder, you'll see them. And they come in packs
of six and ten or whatever and it's just an
organizational tool exactly.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Keeach, that's it. You just google that. That's it.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
These little stick on adhesive things amazing.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Well, I mean, we'll still put a link in the
show notes, as we do every week. We'll find one.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
I have a recommendation for any mums to be or
if you have a newborn baby, and it's because.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
You're having a baby. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
But also, and I'm not joking, I know I said
this last week. We're now eight weeks way or like
eight and a half counting down, and we still don't
have anything.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
We've organized nothing, like I don't have a single thing.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
And now it's become like you know that episode of
Hamish Nandy where they kept driving with the petrol in
the car to see how long they a push it.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I feel like I'm that person with this.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
But also it's because you've you've done it. I don't
think many people would do that on the first time.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
No.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Yeah, it's like now you're like, I know, it'll be
fine no matter what happens.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Poppies going in a drawer and she's wearing size.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
For some glad rap she's like oversizes in Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
No, look, I gave mine of these away and I
just put them. I put together a little list of
all the things that I know are absolute essentials because
you end up with so much stuff that you don't
use when you are having a baby, and you often
buy a lot of things that you don't use as well,
especially when it's your first and your second, because you think,
especially your first.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
She's like, I'm gonna dress it in qube goes and
berets a totally.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
So like I've really like kind of like stripped down
my list, and one of the things was at the
very top and it is what Lola absolutely lived in
for the first six weeks of her life. It's called
a baby wrap. So the brand that I love, it's
Checko or Chico, I don't know how to say it.
It's c H E k oh. And they're like a
long piece of fabric, stretchy fabric, so instead of having
(09:01):
a baby in a carrier, you wear your baby, so
you wrap it all around them. It's very Byron Bay
mums if you've ever seen them. But for me, I
found it so comfortable. Lola would sleep in it all
day long, like that was the only thing she would
sleep in. And they have really nice colors, and they're
really nice fabrics. They're such good quality. The ones I
had when Lola was born, I gave them to a
(09:23):
girlfriend and they have now been passed on to two
more babies since so and they're still in circulation somewhere.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I wish they'd come back to me. I don't know
where they are.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah, that's a good vibe.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
So, yeah, it's great. I really love them. I've got
a couple of them on my list at the moment.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
My vibe this week is possibly my favorite Biopiccodoco that
I've ever watched.
Speaker 6 (09:39):
It's the one by Maruska Hagata.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
It only came out, I think two weeks ago, and
I watched this on HBO Max and it's called My
Mum Jane, So Mruska hugaite if you're trying to place
the face.
Speaker 6 (09:50):
She plays Olivia Benson in Laura and Order SVU.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
She's been on the show.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
I love her, Yeah, two decades and I had no
idea about this. Her mum, Jane Mansfield was a huge
Hollywood stuff like Marilyn Monroe esque vibe, and she was
only a couple of years after Marilyn Monroe, and she
was incredibly famous and very very well loved. But she
was quite a complicated person and she was this sex symbol,
(10:15):
but she kind of played the dumb blonde role for
so long, but she wanted to be a serious actress
and she kind of tired to get the public to
take her more seriously, and they almost rejected that.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Side of her.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
And you know, it's interesting to look back on kind
of the cultural times now looking at it with the
twenty twenty five lens. Anyway, she ended up having three
husbands and five children, and quite complicated relationships with some
of those husbands. But Mariska actually lost her mum, Jane,
when her mum was only thirty four. It was in
nineteen sixty seven, and it was in a car accident
(10:47):
and Mariska and two of her brothers were in the
car at the time.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
And there's a really interesting thing that comes out from
her brother in that the brothers were taken to hospital
and when one of them woke up, he was like,
where's my sister, And they had to go back to
the car wreck and Mariska was actually trapped.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Underneath one of the seats.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
She was alive. Oh my god, like it.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Yeah, goosebump kind of stuff, and then there's a whole
other twist about two thirds of the way in where
and there's you know, I'm not giving anything away because
there's a lot of reporting about this now, but Mariska
kept it a secret for thirty years that her father
wasn't actually her biological father. She found out when she
was an adult, and her biological father joins the documentary
(11:28):
as well. One of the most interesting stories because it's
kind of two people's stories. It's there's like this underlying
theme of Risker searching for her identity in her mum
and also has a lot to do with her name.
Her name on her birth certificate is actually Maria and
it wasn't kind of changed until later in her life,
and like, it's just absolutely fascinating. I loved this documentary
(11:52):
so much. I tried to watch it all in one night,
but it got too late and it was the first
thing that I put on as soon as I woke up,
So I watched it on hbax, which is a new
streaming service serve we've signed up for, like as if
we need another Yeah, but I did have a look
online and apparently you can get it on Apple TV
in Australia as well, so I cannot recommend it more.
Speaker 6 (12:11):
My Mum Jane by Mariska Hargitete.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Oh my God, sounds like all right, well, let's get
into your questions.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Question number one, Help a Girl Out. This is one
of the most awkward moments of my life. I'm twenty
five and quite close with my dad. My dad is gay,
and he has been all my life. It's a long story.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
He might have been gay his whole life too, who knows,
I would assume.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
So anyway, I've just hopped in the back of his
car because we're going to visit my sick grandma in
the hospital, and there is a sex twee in the
back seat. I'm talking black anal beads and butt plugs,
that kind of a vibe. Do I ask him what
it is?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Do I mention it and talk about it? Do I
pretend I never saw it?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Do I kick it under the front seat so he's
not embarrassed with it laying out in playing sight and
knows that I saw it.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Help a scarred Girl out that you've.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Obviously written this in real time, like I imagining you
sitting in the back seat. So at the anal beads
and you're like, fuck, give me instant help. Sorry, this
has probably come a little bit late, so you probably
have figured out what to do. And I would say,
if you're wearing clothes shoes, kick that thing under the.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Seat and pretend you didn't see it.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
There is no need, there is no need at all
to speak to your dad about his sex toys.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You do not have to have that conversation dad. Can
I just have a quick chat?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Look, I just need to talk about anal beads.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What are you gonna talk about somehow have you been
using them with?
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Sometimes we're too open, like we're too open with our parents.
It's great like all for him, but sometimes.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
It's better to plead ignorance, plead it never happened. You
don't know what.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Hey, let's say they're rosemoo beads. They went around his
snair keys religious in fact, not anal beads. Let's go
with that and take that to the grave. Pretend it
didn't happen. Don't kick them too far under the sea,
because the porky needs them, like he doesn't want to
lose them.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
But you don't, like.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
There's just not something you walk out unless you've walked
in Actually no, not even unless I was gonna say,
unless you've walked in face to face you look down
in between.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
You are anal beads and you have to mention it.
But even then, maybe don't.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Even then, I reckon you can still get away with
not saying anything. Go to church, see there? Yeah, Na,
this is this is just an easy one. I don't
think we need to done. But there's no need.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
There's no need. I'm in full agreeance. Have you ever
found something.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
He hasn't. Have you ever found anything totally inappropriate of
your parents?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Before Keisha's nodding, I have.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I want to talk about what did you think you?
Poor mom? I wonder if she'll ever hear this.
Speaker 6 (14:43):
Once I found a toy of hers by accident.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Oh you only found one. I found a whole bag dix.
I found a whole bag of dildos. Yeah, just rounder
the bed my fault. I was searching. I don't know
what for.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I think Christmas presence.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Christmas came out about a sack and it wasn't one
that I had any present for me in it.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
My parents had a gold I've not found anything. I'm
sure they were there, but they just protected us.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Nah, they're just better at harding it. I think my
bom just had it. They were more easy as poor woman,
she was single.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Leave her alone, so is mine.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
We are leaving her alone.
Speaker 6 (15:14):
Do you know what?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Yeah, it's great, you're like back.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Off vibrators back in the day.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Vibrators back in the day were so hectic because like
now they're cute, they're purple, the little bunnies there are
big penis, but back in the day they were visceral,
real veiny penises like jelly.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Like well they had like it was like they molded
it off a dick.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
They had like foreskins and veins and like they were huge,
and they were.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Like vibrators or dildos of the eighties were just like
not they were not cool. I don't know who did
the marketing for it was obviously made by men, and
they were like, this is what women want. Women want
to have sex with a big, veiny, awful looking.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Pans they wanted.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
I remember how confronting it was as a kid, because
at the time I didn't know what they were, and
I was like, what on earth, it's a bag of
penises under the bed.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
You know what, You've just reminded me of and it's
got nothing to do with dicks. But when you're saying
like it was a different time back then, I think
about my parents' night of their wedding.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
This is what they did. Well, obviously they did stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
That's what I'm gonna talk about. They got a hotel
and it was just of the time.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Their hotel bed you put it was like it's like
a game, like you put twenty cents in the machine
of the bed and the bed would vibrate around it
a circle. And on their wedding night they put the
money in in this hotel and it got stuck on.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
The whole night.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I never forget that story.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
So but I can you just imagine the time, like
that's what you've got your honeymoon and you bed.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
I didn't even know that they were bedsity that it
feels very eighties as well, waterbeds and vibrating beds.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
They had a waterbed, of course they did, so did
my brother. Everyone had this rounding this question out. Hang
on one thing.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
If no one's ever had a water bed, you used
to have to put the hose through the window into
your room.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
And feel it. That's what we have to do you
have to take.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
The fly screen out? People have no idea at the
time that we lived in all the young ns.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
But also waterbeds were so unsupportive and so uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
No sense when.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
You're asleep and your partner gets in to upside. I
have so many funny memories. Okay, continue on.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
All right, Well, I'm just going to round it out.
It's great that you have a really open relationship with
your dad. You don't need to talk about with him
the end.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Question number two is it common practice for people who
are receiving gifts to open them while the gift giver
is present. I've been to both a baby shower and
a kid's birthday recently where I brought a gift, but
to my disappointment, the gifts were not opened during the event.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
But taken away to be opened at a late at time.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
As a gift giver, I think it's nice to see
the receiver open my gift, mainly to see if they
like it or not. When you put time and energy
into picking the perfect gift, I feel like it's a
bit anticlimactic to not actually see them open it and
hopefully enjoy it. Am I wrong in thinking This is
strange not open gifts at the event in front of
the givers.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
This is so funny. I think it depends you've said
it's a baby show.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I think it depends on the situation, like the party
that you're at, in terms of like is it a
huge party with fifty people? No one sorry, no one
wants to go to a party in cit around watch
someone open present. So I understand why they're like, you know,
thank you so much, I'll open that later. But I
also understand why you want to watch them open the gift.
But I think that's more to fill your cup, like
(18:33):
you're wanting something from that. You're wanting the satisfaction, which
I understand, like you're stoked about it. I get it,
But I wouldn't say it's a strange, out.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Of the ordinary thing to not open and gift in
front of you.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Like.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
I also think as a parent from a kid's birthday
party perspective, there is nothing more annoying when you go
to a kid's birthday party and one kid is opening
up all these Obviously it's their birthday.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
They're allowed to, they're entitled to. Noah, look at it that.
Every other kid's like crying because they're like, but it's.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Didn't get any presents, not my birthday, Like, especially when
they're little, it's really hard for them to comprehend why one,
especially they have siblings, Like I understand, maybe that's the
resilience building we need to give for our kids.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
But I don't do that.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
They get all their presents, I put them to the side,
and then once everyone's left, what I do is I
ration them. I pick out like six presents or four presents,
and I'll be like, cool, they're the ones they can open.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
The rest of them go in the cpverment, do you
yeh because it's too many.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Presents and sell them makes money.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Put them on.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
No never be new, still wrapped.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
I bring them out whenever there's like a reason why
they should get a present for something, or if they've
done if they're like, you know, really being great that
weekend or clean the room or something like that, or
I need an activity, I'll bring a present out. But
the amount of stuff that kids get at kid's birthday parties,
then I'd be.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Devoted if I, like on the other end, if I
got somebody present, like a child a present or something,
and then their parent was like, no, I give it
to me like two years.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I'll save that one.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'd be like, okay, do you Yeah, I'd open a bitch, right,
I mean to give you money.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
I do open so I know what's in it. But
like then I wrap it back up so that Marley
can selective well, because like I just maybe other parents
are not going to agree with this.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Yeah, I don't know. I think this one might ruffle some.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I do the same. I do the same with Christmas.
So like Christmas.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Again, no, because I think that the problem with getting
too many gifts when you're a little kid, especially because
our kids are still small, is that they are so
overwhelmed by the volume that they pay no attention to
any of them.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
So they don't don't appreciate it as much.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah, it's no longer about the gifts.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
It's no longer about like, oh my god, that's that
toy I really wanted and.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
I'm going to go play with that now?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
How many can What's next?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
What's next?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
And they're just ripping things open, they're not even looking
at them, and then they get to the end and
they're like, is that it? Like there's a level of
ungratefulness that happens. So we ration presents when there's too
many of them for that reason, because I'm like, there's
never going to be a world where a four year
old can play with that many toys in a short
space of time, so stuff just gets forgotten about.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
So that's kind of why we do it. But maybe
that isn't the most thoughtful thing. I don't know. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I think you'll be people on both sides trying to
raise not shit kids. No, I actually don't have my
best I actually understand it. But maybe you just don't
buy them that many.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Then well it's not us, it's people give them. I'm
not buying the present.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
So it's Falcon.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
It's back talking to you. Falcon.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Falcon ready, when he doesn't know, is like one of
our best friends. He's the best uncle ever, but he
is like the most elite gift giver.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
He won't come over even for dinner or a visit
without bringing presents.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
There's too much, Falcon. I know you're listening. Why' back
you're making the rest of us look bad. You think
you make gis you look bad?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, look, I don't think it's rude to not open it.
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I'm not someone who needs to sit through a gift
opening procession. I think it's fine if you want to
open them in your own time and send a nice
thank you note.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
It's yeah, I'm not I don't know whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, yeah, I think it's okay that one slide. This one,
I think I think it's important we unpack it. But
it has a lot of layers to it, some quite
problematic that I'm just wondering maybe the listener hasn't thought
of yet.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I'm twenty nine.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I've been with my husband for over six years and
we have two gorgeous sons, four and two. I've been
feeling like we're roommates rather than partners for a long
time now. We rarely have sex, we don't communicate very well,
and I just feel really lonely. Earlier this week, I
had an appointment with my GP. He's a fifty three
year old man who has been our doctor for five years.
It was a long appointment and we shared and cried
(22:22):
over our joint experiences of losing our daughters in very
traumatic circumstances. They passed away on the same day, five
years apart, and Monday was their anniversary.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
So sad at the.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
End of your appointment.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
We hugged for a very long time and there was
a moment and we ended up kissing. Nothing hot and heavy,
but it was really nice. Now I can't stop thinking
about him and that kiss is divorced and has been
such a source of comfort for me during some really
dark times. And he says the same about me. What
was the kiss? Is it just because we're both lonely
(22:57):
and we're emotional on our daughter's anniversaries or is it
more than that?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Please help?
Speaker 4 (23:02):
I feel like the kiss is completely inappropriate to me.
There's many layers, but that doctor patient relationship in that environment,
for him to have ended it that way is just
a completely, completely inappropriate thing. It would be almost akin
to going and seeing a psychologist or a therapist and
talking to them about what has happened to you and
(23:23):
sharing those stories and then having them kiss you.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Like this, there's such a level of patient a patient
doctor breach here, So like going to a gynecologist and
I think, you.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, it is It's like you're in this situation and
you take it so essensial and you take it too
far situation and they take it too far.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
It's really different very similar, giving very similar.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Firstly, Okay, firstly, before we like take this down and
I don't want to take it down a funny route,
I really want to say, like, I'm so so sorry
that you're going through this. AD is an awful thing
that you've had to even deal with the fact that
you've lost a child I cannot comprehend.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
And then the fact that he has.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Also lost a child like that is that is a
huge It's a huge amount of grief. It is an
incomprehensible loss that none of us sitting here could ever understand.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
But I would imagine you would never ever be able
to get over and I think you'd find it really
hard to find someone that.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
You relate to.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
One part of the story that we don't know the
details for is you said you lost your daughter in
a very traumatic circumstance. I wonder whether this is your
daughter with your husband that you're now with, was it
a past relationship, Like we don't know those details, And
I guess, like my reaction to that is is, you know,
I don't know. I kind of wish that we had
(24:38):
the information as to whether it was your husband's child
as well, like whether you've shared that trauma together or
whether the reason why you feel this closeness to this
man is because he shares a very similar feeling that
your now partner has not experienced, do you know, I
mean it could be from a past relationship.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
I'm not sure how much.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
It matters, to be honest, because grief affects people differently,
whether you're in the relationship or not. Like a lot
of people have spoken about the fact that their relationships don't.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Survive something like the loss of a child because.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Even though they both experienced the same thing, the way
they experience.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Is it's actually one of the huge, the biggest statistics.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
It drives them apart. Sometimes they build resentment, sometimes they
can't understand. You grieve, slash, move on, slash grow at
different rates. So I don't know how much that comes
into it. And as we can, as Laura said, like
we could not even begin to imagine, we can try
and imagine the loss of a child is something that
no parents should go through, And so I don't think
(25:34):
you will ever get over that. I'm sure time helps,
but I don't think it's something that any parent ever
moves on from. We don't know enough about you and
this doctor, but what I do think is he's only
been your GP. I would very much say you are
trauma bonding, and I would say there is a misuse
of his power in this situation. He probably wants to
comfort just as much, but the setting and the timing
(25:55):
and everything about this is wrong. That's not to say
that you guys might not have real feelings for each
other in some way. But I would imagine that you're
in a long term relationship with two kids and you
said your youngest is two, your oldest is four, and
you've lost a child, and you feel lonely in that relationship.
I'm not surprised you feel lonely in that relationship, like
you are still in the depths of newborns and like
(26:18):
trying to figure your life out. And Laurie, you've said
so many times that it takes two to three years
to try and get your relationship back on track when
you have a kid, because your whole focus is on
making sure these kids are alive and you lose your
identity for a little bit. I'm not surprised you feel
like that with your husband, But personally, from the information
you've given me, I would not be leaning too far
into what this kiss means I think it was a
(26:41):
very emotionally driven moment. You have felt understood by somebody,
You felt emotionally connected to somebody, which are two very
powerful things, especially if you haven't been getting those at home.
I would want to say, if your relationship at home
is otherwise good, I'd be going back to focus on
that and try and work on that.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
Yeah, I agree with everything you've said, Britt. I think
it's really inappropriate that the GP kissed you, like I
really do you know, And the fact that you have
been going to him for five years, there's been this
rapport that's obviously been built, You've obviously spoken about your
shared grief together.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I think it's incredibly unprofessional.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
It's not I don't think it is incredibly unprofessional of
him that he has not set better boundaries around this. Like, look,
in a different time, in a different world, maybe this
could be something that could have been, you know, a
conversation or a date or a relationship. But you're married
and you have two kids, and you hadn't entertained these
ideas or thoughts until you had a very intense doctor's
(27:37):
consultation that literally should never have happened.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
And then I feel like he also.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
I don't want to say you took advantage of it,
because it does sound like he's also in this like
very emotionally grieving moment, and it was probably a moment
of vulnerability between the two of you. But I definitely
don't think that you should be putting your focus and
your energy now into this doctor over trying to fix
your relationship and your marriage.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
No, it's with your husband and so inappropriate.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
Yeah, I just think just to give you like a
bit of how inappropriate. He could potentially lose his license
if this came out, if it was reported to APRA,
he would at least be suspended and investigated. It is
so inappropriate to be having a kiss with one of
your patients.
Speaker 6 (28:16):
It's actually inappropriate to hug.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I remember a doctor that I worked with. He lost
his license, got suspended because he had a patient and
they hit it off, they vibe, nothing happened, but he
got her number off details on the system, and then
followed up with us. So this was, let I mean,
in a way, a different level of inappropriateness. But there
was no sexual connection, nothing inappropriate at the work, but
(28:40):
just by getting her number, he got the sack. So like,
this is very serious that this man in his consult
room as your GP, a trusted medical professional for five years,
is kissing you.
Speaker 6 (28:51):
Yeah, during your appointment.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
But I think the only reason that we are all
not going down so hard on him for it's raining
on you. Yes, it's consensual, but also he's obviously gone
through something really really awful as well, and he's in
a vulnerable position himself. I think that's the only reason
that we have a bit of grace for him, because
he's lost a child to you know, like, Yeah, there's
also people that are in the discussion group on Facebook
(29:15):
if you guys want to if you're not a member,
go enjoying, but that have said, you know, questioned if
maybe he has made this up to connect with you
and maybe.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
He's more of a predator and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
But I think that's a push.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I highly doubt monster. You might have to be like
a whole other level to have done that. So I
don't think that's it at all. I just think you're
both trauma bonding at the end of the day.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I totally agree.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Also, like reading the rest, like the reading the full question,
this is the doctor you've been seeing for five years.
That's a real long game of someone trying to like
emotionally manipulate you just to get a kiss at an appointment.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I mean for me, I'm like, that's not feasible.
Speaker 4 (29:46):
I think it is very coincidental that you have both
experienced a shared catastrophic grief and that there's something in
that that, like you know, makes you feel seen and
validated and understood, and all of those in incredibly complex emotions.
You asked the question, what was this kiss? I think
the kiss is grief. I think the kiss is shared
(30:07):
emotions of feeling understood, as I said. And is it
because we're both lonely and we're emotional over our daughter's anniversaries?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Probably. I think you've answered the question. Do I think
you're in love with your GP? Absolutely not, because you've
never entertained these thoughts prior that has happened, and now
that that's sparked some chemistry in you, which is understandable,
it's confusing. But I think the more energy and time
you put it into it, the more that you're going
to be confused and have these conflicting feelings. You need
(30:34):
to refocus that energy into your relationship, your husband and
maybe have some conversations with him around how you're feeling disconnected,
how you're feeling lonely, how you want to prioritize your
relationship again, and also maybe go and speak to I'm
sure you've probably had grief counseling, but go and speak
to a therapist or a psychologist or a psychiatrist around
like ways that you can reconnect with your partner after
(30:57):
going through something that was so so try.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, I truly think this is just situational comfort. You
had a really long appointment with him where you were
both crying and upset, and all you ever want in
that feeling is to be comfort and connected. It's human nature,
it's not you. That's not a wrong feeling. I personally
think that you need to not go back to him again,
because if something has happened now, your relationship with him
(31:22):
has forever change, like you can never go back to
him as just a GP now, and I think it's
good to put some distance between that. You've said the
two big problems in your relationship are rarely having sex
and you don't communicate well. They are two things that
are very easy to work on.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
So you're lucky.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
You're not in a relationship where the you know, previously
before this moment, where there's been any infidelity or anything, like,
They're two things that are a normal and be very fixable,
Like a lot of people don't get back into normal
sex after you know it's only been two.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
Years, you got a two year old at a four
year old and the death of a child, like that's
normal and you will find your groove back there, but
you do need to work on it and the communication.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Both of you can communicate better easy. You literally just
need to.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Sit down and talk to him and say, I want
to be able to talk to you more. What can
we do? So that's what I would be saying. I
would say, don't read too much into it, and I'm
really sorry you're going through this, and there's no blame
on you. We're not putting anything on you that says
you shouldn't have done it or you've done the wrong thing,
like we absolutely feel for you. I just think that
that can't be your gp anymore personally.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Yeah, I absolutely agree, all right. Question number four, Am
I unreasonable for not wanting my husband to go to
a friend's funeral?
Speaker 1 (32:29):
From the title, I'm gonna say yes, but let's read it.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable with how I'm
feeling about this. So my partner works five fo two
weeks away, one week back, and we have a four
month old baby. He got some news about an old
friend of his who suddenly passed away, who lived into state,
so we need to travel for the funeral. I don't
know this friend, but he apparently played a large role
in his life back when he was younger. The funeral
(32:53):
is the day after he gets back, so now instead
of coming home, he's got to come back, pack and
fly away again for a few days. I feel so
incredibly upset with this decision. I understand the importance of
this friend, and I get that he wants to say goodbye,
but I feel like, given the circumstances, it isn't just
as easy as him jumping on a plane and going.
(33:14):
Am I wrong to feel this way? Maybe I'm just
being hormonal. I don't know. Please don't get me wrong.
I absolutely love being a mum. I wouldn't change it
for the world. I just feel like I count down
the days for him to get home so that we
can have some time together as a family, and I
can also get a little bit of a break or
time to myself. It's not like I get to just
jump on a plane for a few days whenever I want.
(33:35):
Not that money is an issue, but it's also costing
over one thousand dollars for these flights as they are
last minute thoughts.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Oh, I want to say, I need more information to
give you a proper answer.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
And the reason I say that is it's not gonna
end well.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
If you tell him he can't go to his friend's funeral,
like if he has said to you, this was an
important person that I feel the need to go and
say goodbye to. I understand how much you're looking forward
to seeing him, and I know you're flying fly out
so you don't see him for weeks at a time
or whatever it is, and you've got the stress of
a baby, So I totally get why you want him
to come home. But it's going to build a lot
of resentment if you say you're not going to say
(34:11):
goodbye to a friend that died.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
The reason I am.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
On the fence with saying I need to know more
information is if you know dip down or you have
this weird feeling that in fact it's just an excuse
for him to be away is if he's not a
great partner, it doesn't often show up, and you feel like,
do you know what, I've never heard you speak about him.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
You don't know for twenty years. You're always trying to
find excuses.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
But that's something that you need to ask yourself. What
kind of a partner is he? Because we don't know that.
But from the outset of this question, yeah, you're gonna
have to let him go to the funeral.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Yeah, I would say, if your partner's a great partner
and he shows up in every other way and he's
saying that he wants to go to this funeral, I
understand when you have a four month old baby that
that feels super overwhelming and you were so looking forward
to this. That this is a situation that's also out
of his control. And sometimes funerals are not always just
about the relationship with the person that's passed away. It's
(35:03):
also about the relationship with the people who are grieving.
So if this person was a huge part of his
life and maybe he hasn't seen them for five years
or seven years or whatever, that looks like that could
also still be someone who was incredibly close to all
of his best friends, Like, I don't know what that
situation looks like. I think the way that you probably
need to look at this is that, yes, it is
(35:23):
a sacrifice, and yes there is the expectation that you're
not going to see him, but it's probably going to
be three days or two days, and that's a really
small time window in when you think about it in
comparison to the rest of your life as parents together.
And I don't know, it's so hard because I know
what it's like being in those early trenches of motherhood.
But I don't think that it is fair for you
(35:45):
to say you don't want him to go to a
friend's funeral. If he is telling you that this is
an important thing for him to do, you can obviously
express to him that it's really you know, you really
have been looking forward to him coming home. You're counting
down the days, and that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed
in this period. But ultimately, if he really thinks it's
something that he needs to do and he isn't using
(36:06):
it as an excuse, and you know that because you
know your husband and you know that he shows up
in every other way, then I would say it's unreasonable
to not let him go and do that.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah, and it's very easy to make it so much
more superficial and say, do you know what, like they're gone,
they're dead, you're not going to see them, whereas we're
here and we need you, like can you not say
goodbye yourself from here? And like it's very easy to
sort of top line top shelf that. But everyone grieves
differently and everyone needs different things. And like you said, laws,
(36:35):
you don't know what their connection was, what the friends
and family relationship was, what he did in that life.
But I understand why it's hard for you to fathom
when you're like old friend when they were younger. I've
never heard of him.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I understand where you're like cool. I get if it
was maybe someone more close. But if you're making a
choice between your four month old me and helping me
out and saying goodbye to someone you haven't seen in
twenty years, understand why that is upsetting. Like I do
want to validate that because I would probably be upset too.
I'd probably be like I'm struggling and I'm here, like
I'm here now and i'm your wife, and I really
need you. But I also don't know how much you're
(37:11):
struggling or how much you were just looking forward to
the family time.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
There are so.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Many variables and people need different things in grief. It's
a tricky one to answer. I think it just has to.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Come back to what we've both said already.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You know your partner. Is he using it as an
excuse to have more time away? Or is do you
know deep down that he really needs to go and
do this and he wouldn't ever be away from you?
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Guys if he didn't have to be, there's your answer.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
But if he's told you it's important and he needs
to go, you think you need to let it happen.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
Yeah, And I guess also the last part of it
is you don't really have a choice.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
You can't tell him you can't you you can't, you
can it just won't go down. Well, yeah, but you can't.
You can't.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
You can't control your partner like you can say I
don't want you to go. But if they say this
is really important to me and I'm going, what are
you going to do? Like, what's the consequence of the
ultimatum here? You're gonna be so angry you're going to
throw like you know, you're going to make have a
huge argument, like what is the outcome or the consequence
for him going He's not saying he's going to go
on a boy's weekend.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
He's going to a funeral and maybe, you know.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Maybe it is turns into a boy's weekend, but.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Maybe he can make it the shortest version. Okay, cool
if it's you know, let's say you live in Sydney
and it's in Queensland, you fly there for the funeral,
you fly home. Like, there are sacrifices he can make
to make it the shortest amount of time possible, so
that what he is going for is the funeral and
he isn't going there for the socializing aspect around it.
Of course he can go to the wake. I'm not
saying like, just go to the funeral and go home,
(38:33):
but I think that there is a conversation that can
be made around the sacrifices you are both making and
you both can meet in a happy place here. Yeah,
you can't tell your partner what they can and can't do.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
And at the end of the day, unless it's like
East Coast to West coast, every flight's in around Australia
into States like two hours, math three hours three like yeah,
it's like it's there's probably really no reason that he
couldn't come back the same day. I'm not saying he
has to do that or one night. I don't think
you're saying he's packing for a few days. That sounds
like there's going to be a bit of a meet
up with people and a bit more of a boy's
(39:04):
club or friends club, which you know, that's a happy medium.
He can go to the funeral and then he's got
to come back to his responsibilities, which is his four
month old child and his you know, and you.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
Totally yeah, yeah, And I think that they're the variables
that you need to kind of nub out. Anyway, that's it.
If you've got questions for us, slide on into the
dms at Life Uncut podcast on Instagram where you can
send us all of your ask guncut questions or some
of these have been discussed in the discussion group on Facebook,
which is where we got the one around the doctor
and deally you know that's happening. So you can join
the discussion group as well, which is Life Uncut Discussion
(39:35):
Group and all the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Goes down there.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Don't forget, guys, everything goes on YouTube now, so askun
Cuts are like.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
The fan favorite on YouTube because you can put.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Them on a big screen and watch your play out
live and have the chat with your flatmates or your
friends or your partner and.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
See how you would handle that situation.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
So please go hit subscribe and give that a watch,
and remember, tell your mom tay dat te dog.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
Tear friends and share the love because we love love.
Speaker 5 (40:01):
The reporting members