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May 13, 2025 • 47 mins

Hey Lifers!
Britt’s having a rough trot today 😂. We speak about some RSVP and allergy mishaps, lucid dreams and some of the darker sides of professional sport. Truth be told, are you interested when other people speak about their dreams? How about if they’re about angry gorillas?

There’s a piece of content that is popping off on socials at the moment from a podcast talking about how these young men want their partner to be able to not work and go on hot girl walks if they choose to.
This video seems to be of a similar rhetoric that we are seeing across a few different channels of social media and also in the social discourse where traditional gender roles are being sprouted as an optimum lifestyle that we should aspire to.

We ask, is this a caring provider and a man who wants to look after his partner or is it harmful, patriarchal messaging dressed up as modern masculinity?

We unpack:

  • Call out vs call in culture
  • The need for financial security
  • The ideologies of ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ energies
  • Soft patriarchy 
  • Choice feminism

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
I Cut.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany Slat.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Why are you stressed?

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Just got a lot going on?

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Can you come to work with a good attitude?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
God damn it?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Do you know what I've started trying? Actually?

Speaker 1 (00:30):
What meditation?

Speaker 3 (00:31):
A coup of hemp gummies for fox sake?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Yeah, I'm a hamp gummy girl. I'm a gumper.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
They like the proper tchc ones.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
Can't be sure. I'll get back to you, but I
think they're good. I used them last couple of nights
because I don't sleep very well. I never have. And
it's more now, you know, like we're close to the wedding.
We're like within the next eight weeks, but.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
It doesn't want anyone to know exactly when the wedding is,
so she's being very obscure around it.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Just fair. I sometimes don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I have to go back into the invitation that's in
my emails, find it and.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Check the date, because you know, what's happened, Fritz, Like,
just cut that out. We're not We're keeping it all.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
It's been stressful because I have quite a few trips
coming up for you know, I've got someone else's wedding overseas,
I've got my own wedding coming up. I've got a
trip with my sister. There's a lot of little things
going on. But I've had a few people that I
have mentioned in the last week where I've said, what
are you going to wear to our welcome drinks? Like
just friends that I've chatted because you know, we're having
welcome drinks for the wedding so people can meet and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Don't ask me because I haven't planned anything yet.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
You probably don't even know.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I don't know what it is. I check the invite.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
But this is what's stressful is because they've said what
welcome event.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Because there's so I'm gonna be honest, there's a lot
of events full free three days and events.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
That's not why though, It's because the invitation didn't send
to everyone. I had to go back through and I
was like, why are some people not getting it? Some
people I didn't know didn't receive the whole schedule. The
whole schedule. I make it sound like it's not this
huge affair.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
It's it's just admitted to the problem.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
The Royal schedule.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
No, but on like it.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
I mean everything's online, right, Invitations are all done online
for wedding. Do you sign up to an account like
you did Laura where you put the invitation as dressed sexy,
You sign up to wedding account, you put all your
details in it and sends invitations out. For some reason,
some of the people just did only about five. Because
I've had to go through every invite and check what
they received. I was like, this is so unnecessary, but

(02:25):
they didn't even know about it.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
There is nothing Actually, I'm going to rephrase that. I
was about to say, there's nothing more annoying. There's lots
of things, but something that is also annoying is when
someone can't be bothered to actually click the RSVP to
the invite, and then you have to go through and
manage your RSVPs manually.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
I don't have the organizational bone in my body.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
So when that happened to us, when people just did
an RSVP to our wedding, we had to do the
ring around to all the ones that we didn't know
if they were or weren't coming, and some people got missed.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
I don't know if they got the invite they weren't
at the wedding.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
You know, Actually it's all Ben's friends, a lot of
Ben's friends. And I'm not pointing things, that's not your job, no,
but there's a lot of the athletes of Ben's friends,
so like a lot of Ben's friends were really good
that weren't athletes, and the footballer ones that is invited
from like past teams or they're all hopeless. They're like, hey,
I just can't confirm yet, and I was like, sort
of that.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Sounds works frame that you need to confirm.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
I'm like, you sort of need to confirm. But something
really funny did happen. I've spoken about how I haven't
given Ben that many jobs, mainly because I didn't trust him,
but also it's too hard. We're on different schedules. I
talked to our wedding plan and more. But I have
given him a few little jobs now, one of them
because I had to go through every invite to see
who didn't get an invite. I'm sick of looking at

(03:37):
that list, and I said to him, can you your
job is to go through and look at what everyone
wrote for their allergies for food and get those allergies
across to our wedding plan and the caterer to make
sure because like part of an RSVP is what are
your food allergy?

Speaker 5 (03:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (03:51):
What can't you? Doesn't the wedding planner just have access
to all this?

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Well, I've given her access now, yes, but I also
wanted to give Ben a job, so that was Ben's job.
So he went through to this and I said to him,
how did you go with allergies? Did you send it
them all off? And he goes, yes, I did. I
went through every single one and I wrote them down.
So I said, you need to be like so careful
with this. Do not miss anyone. Check the list twice,
and make sure you've sent every single thing, because I
can't have someone dying at my wedding. Imagine the headlines.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Or press is good press?

Speaker 3 (04:16):
No not a not a shellfish death from my wedding.

Speaker 6 (04:19):
No.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Anyway, He's like, I got it, babe, and I was like,
thank you so much. A bit later on in the conversation,
he goes that Mitch is a bit of a character,
isn't he.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Mitch Cheury, Mitch Cheery, we all know Mitch True. And
I said, what do you mean?

Speaker 3 (04:31):
Because it was a bit left field I was like, yeah,
he's very funny. He's like, oh, he's just always cracking jokes.
And I was like, what's happened? And he said, oh, well,
when I went through the allergies list, he had written mengo, kingfish,
avocado and I said, yeah, babe, they are his allergies.
He's allergic. He's like no is he? And I said, yes, Ben,

(04:53):
he's highly allergic. I said, did you not send those off?
And he's like no, I thought it was a joke.
I I said, why did you Why did you make
that assumption that he would joke about anaphylaxis.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
To be fair, Mitch is a very funny man, but
it's a hard punt to assume that someone's joking about allergies.

Speaker 4 (05:12):
If if you were to assume Mitch would be the
person that you assume would joke about it.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah, but a weird thing to assume, because and I said, okay,
did you not think maybe you should just like check
check anyway, Mitch, if you're listening, crisis averted, I have
gotten your allergies to the wedding people. But I was like,
what a weird thing to assume was a joke?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Well, look, I like that every time you do talk
about Ben and the small, tiny jobs that you've given him,
the fact that he hasn't been able to complete one
of them successfully. So I do hope that he shows
up to the wedding now that he finally knows what
date it's happening. You just said before that you're like
not sleeping and you're riddle with anxiety. I am not sleeping,
but for a very different reason at the moment, and
I toy it around. I tossed it around whether or

(05:53):
not to talk about this because I am erring into
territory of things people don't care about, right like, I'm
well aware, just warn you. But the reason why is
because I know that no one cares about what you
dreamt about, right like, I know no one cares.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
I know that also very pointed, because I've brought a
lot of my dreams to the podcast.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Sometimes we edit them out.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Fred, Oh, you think I don't notice you say no
one cares about dreams. I would say a large percentage
of the population don't.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
People care about their own dreams?

Speaker 2 (06:21):
And no one There is not a single person in
this world that wakes up when their partner wakes up
and goes oh, my god, honey, I had a big
dream last night, and they're like.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Oh, tell me, tell me every detail.

Speaker 4 (06:29):
The only time I do that is if the person
says I had a dream.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
About you last night. One hundred. I'm very selfish.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I love dreams. Do you a lot of people's dream Remember,
we tried to do a dream episode. Didn't make the.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Okay, so just to like lift behind the curtain a
little bit, to laugh so hard, not too much.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Rarely, it is so.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Rare that we do an interview where we're like, you
know what, that wouldn't work out the way that we
thought that was going to work out. And there was
a period there where Britt went through having like quite
severe night terrors.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're having like crazy dreams.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Sound like a Toddlert. I really was. I was having
night terrors and I had.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
No one to hold me.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
You're saying you wanted to do an episode on dreams,
and there was a lot of like, you know, we
tossed it around for a long time and eventually we
were like, you know what, let's do it, and we
did it.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
I was like that is not airing as well, Like
I don't want anyone to think that no.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
It's interesting, right, because there is a bit of psychology
behind like why is it that you dream about the
things that you dream about?

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Like what is the reasoning behind it?

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Is it because that's some manifestation of things that you're
stressed about during the day?

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Is it hormones? Didge eat cheese?

Speaker 5 (07:36):
Like?

Speaker 2 (07:36):
There's lots of different theories out there, and obviously because
some people have like reoccurring dreams which might have some
sort of deeper meaning. And I don't want to, like,
I'm not here to poopoo any of.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
That, because it's fascinating.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, it really is, and everybody has had different versions
of it, right, and there are own unique experiences around it,
but no one cares about those experiences as much as
you care about them if you're the one who's experienced it.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Is what I would probably say.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
Do you think most common facial expression on this is
the dog eyes?

Speaker 4 (08:03):
Because I said it to you the other day and
I just said the gift of the dog squinting on
the Simpsons.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
I also think I have too much.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Botox now and I don't cut it squim. No, I'm
not is that it I have whatever? I haven't had
an eyebrow, lip just spreading false rumors.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
No, sorry about that misinformation.

Speaker 5 (08:20):
No.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Look, the reason why I want to talk about it
is because it is a really common symptom of pregnancy.
Also something that I'm sure lots people don't care about.
But I have hit that point. I've hit the point
where I'm not sleeping because I'm getting kicked all through
the night. The kicks only just started recently, like in
the last week and a half, and this is one
active baby.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
I'm getting kicked all the time.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Talk about producercation, talk about trimming some podcast stuff.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Yeah, and then secondly, sorry, you guys can make an
executive call. And then secondly, I am having the most
out of control wild dreams, so.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Now we can talk about it.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
No, it's because it's because it's not just one dream
that I know most people like hit rem sleep and
that's when you have your dreams. It's that twilight face
when you are probably hours off waking up in the morning.
It's that's like kind of when you slip stream into
like that really lucid dreaming state. Mine is continuous throughout
all night. And I had forgotten about this pregnancy symptom.
I'd forgotten that, like the dreams are so vivid. Your

(09:14):
sleep becomes so disrupted, and then it's just like these
very wild movies play out in your head. And last
night it was like a horror about gorillas and they
were coming to us.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
All okay, it was a lot.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
I literally woke up and I was like, Wow, I
really could write a sci fi movie about that dream,
but I'm not going to and we'll move on now.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
So just wondering where that story was going.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
I was going to tell you about the gorillas, but
then I thought about it.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
I'm going to give you really quick decide whether you
delete this on NAPA.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
Now we're getting the story about the gorillas. So what
did the gorillas do?

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Hear me out.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
We lived in an alternate reality where we all lived
harmoniously with gorillas. Gorillas were everywhere, but at five o'clock
on the dot, the gorillas tried to kill you, and
so all of the humans had to go on hard
in like their houses or hotels or bunkers or whatever.
Couldn't make noise, couldn't have light, otherwise the gorillas would
find you when they would kill you.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, fucking sci fi that shit.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
So this is interesting.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Seven Spielberg dake that dream.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
This is interesting, you know how you just said and
you guys would know this if we were allowed to
speak about dreams. Well, but you said you dreamt about
this all night. The average dream lasts only between five
and twenty minutes max. Like, that's how long a dream
goes for. Sometimes you'll feel like you've had this whole
story in a dream and it's five minutes. I think
that is really interesting.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
I understand that because when you think about I say
this because it's probably very rare in your waking state
that you would have one continuous thought for twenty minutes
or one continuous story.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Both of you are reckon have gone about three seconds.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
But it's true, right, So like, when would you ever
have one continuous storyline that plays out?

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Casha's like not less than medicated. But that's the problem.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Whereas when you're dreaming, it gives your brain the ability
to make space to do that. Okay, we can move
on from the dreaming.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
In the Facebook group last night, I was talking about
this with some people and melotonin because everyone's like, if
you don't sleep well, take melotone, And melatonin makes me
have the most lucid, weird and wacky dreams and apparently
a lot.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Of people experience it.

Speaker 3 (11:13):
So and cheese and chili. Okay, So can I just
say I actually had the best weekend and I don't
say that often. Well, best one day. Actually it wasn't
the whole weekend. It was one day on Sunday. My sister,
Sherry and Jay and Maya moved back permanently from Scotland.
So they've been in Scotland for over two years. I'm
lucky that I started dating Ben, who happened to live
down the road. Otherwise I wouldn't have been seeing them

(11:35):
so much. But I picked them up from the airport.
They're officially back. They've gone up to Port mcquarie and Myers,
meeting all the family for the first time. But the
funniest thing happened that showed me I think I present
a certain front on Instagram when I'm with Meyer. I
have heard the whole time like I'm obsessed with her.
I feed her, i'll bathe her.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
I'll do whatever.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
I don't change nappies. That's just what I haven't done
when she changes the nappy. Sherry's always there because I
don't babysitter on myself, so I like it.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
It's not your responsibility.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I don't think that Annie duties pertain to the necessity
of changing a nappy, like I don't think.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
It is expected.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yes, I agree, but I also think you can take
all those duties. I think it's fine, Like, but I've
never needed to. If I had her on my own,
I'm not gonna let hers stay in a stinking nappy
because I'm like, Arnie, don't change nappies anyway. Sheridan's always there,
so she's like, I'll change her. So I didn't have
to change her as such, but I did bather and
then I had to get addressed, and you know, I
love that time with her. She's like all going and garring,
we're about to put it to bed and so I

(12:29):
baba gotta change, got a dressed, put it a bed,
and then the next morning, So just on Monday morning,
Sheridan's like what the hell From another room, She's like,
what's happened? And I was like, oh my god, what's happened?
And I ron in and I was like, what's going on.
She's like I don't understand. Like there's pooh everywhere, like
there's an explosion all through her court. Everywhere, and I

(12:49):
was like, what's happened, And she's like, hang on a minute.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
She's like, did you put her nappie on last night?

Speaker 3 (12:53):
And I was like, yeah, she could put it on backwards. Pooh.
She did the big heard and because it's backwards, I
guess I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
She was wearing a nappy g string.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Keisha did the exact same thing when she minded Lola
when Lola was a baby. It's interesting me that anyone
could think it would be intuitive to put the tabs
at the back, like you've got to wrap them behind
the baby in order to do that, rather than just
wrapping them to the front, which seems like very much
the way.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
To do it.

Speaker 4 (13:20):
I get confused because the two times I did it,
because I didn't do it just once.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
With Lola.

Speaker 4 (13:24):
I did it once and then I was told that
it was backwards, and then the second time I went
to change her.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
She doubled down.

Speaker 4 (13:29):
I was like, this is so confusing. I know I
got it wrong last time, but I can't remember which
way I did it last time.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
I think I did it so that it looks like underwear.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
That's what I did, But for.

Speaker 4 (13:38):
Some reason, the biggest part of the nappy. It doesn't
look how it's supposed to do to the untrained.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
I agree, because mine wasn't like a frivolous change. It
was a conscious decision. I knew that it had to
go the right way, and I looked at it and
I did the same thing. I looked at it this way,
and then I looked at it this.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
You guys also know that it often says back on it.
Know that I put a.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Nappy on Delilah once when I got her snooped. That's it.

Speaker 4 (14:04):
But I also when I changed Lola and put her
in clothes, I couldn't find anything that looked like it
would fit her. So I just saw something that i'd
seen her in before. It was it was too small,
it was a cropped once.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
But it's so funny to think that, Like, I'm a
thirty seven year old woman, I've been around kids, i
have a degree, I'm intelligent, I've lived on my own,
like I'm independent. The littlest things I didn't know hard
to put a nappy on a child. And then it
makes you think of how every parent ever I said, wow,
like it is such a learning curve because everything is
something you've never done before. That's how I felt, even

(14:38):
just putting the nappy, and I was like, I'm not
made for this.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
For me, it was leaving the hospital with a newborn
baby for the very first time, and I was like,
what this feels criminal? It feels criminal that there is
an expectation that I'm going to keep this child alive
and not fuck this up. Zero help, Like, why isn't
someone supervising me. I got supervised more when I worked
at McDonald's, but no, genuinely, like I have been supervised
in every other aspect of my life except for parenting,

(15:01):
and we just go on our merry way and we're
expected to do it.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
It's wow. Crazy.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
I went home after eight hours of having a baby
and then that crazy figure it out. Let's just put
the nappy aside. It's forgotten.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Actually, she didn't tell me how to do it. She
didn't teach me, so I do have to relearn that.
But the other reason I had the best weekend is
Ben had probably the biggest and most important game of
his career, like the biggest game he's ever played. He's
now in the Italian League, which is like quite high
up and his team were playing the number one team
and he was making his Italian debut, which nobody wants

(15:32):
to make a debut against the best team because it's
they were expected to get absolutely whipped, like they were
expected to lose dramatically.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Kind of good to play against someone when you're expected
to lose, because you can only impress.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
If they expect nothing of you, you can't disappoint them.
Set the bar low. I feel differently to light.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
That was my motivational speech to him. I was like, baby,
this is the best case scenario because you're not expected
to win. Like your team. No one expected them to win,
like sports Bet was like, no, they're gonna get whipped.
But he played so well that he was up for
Person of the Match. They ended up drawing, which everyone
was like, Wow, this has thrown a spanner in the
works for the whole competition, and it just could not

(16:10):
have gone better for him. So I just feel like
I was just sitting on the lounge at four am
and I was like screaming at the TV. I was
so happy because it could have gone either way. So
it was a really really big moment in his life.
And I guess our life because it can make or
break our future. If he did really badly, which.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
I knew he was never going to do, but in
him being resigned in Italy in terms of being well.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
Anywhere, just like showing everyone what he can do.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
So that was just like a super proud yeah fiance moment.
And that was the other reason I just had the
best weekend. I feel like sharing j came home, we
all watched the game together as like a family, and
it was really cool.

Speaker 4 (16:44):
How does it go with you celebrating that with him,
because I have a little bit of insight into this,
but I'm not sure how it works over in Europe. Obviously,
when sports people go on to the field, they have
to surrender their phones and stuff. There's all like sports
betting and there's a lot of shady shit that can
go on, so they try to avoid it by like
having their phones off of them for X amount of
hours beforehand. When does he get it back? And how

(17:06):
like how do you guys communicate after it?

Speaker 3 (17:08):
Oh minutes after us I'm watching on the TV and
the second they walk off in the locker rooms they
can have their phones again. But they have team meetings.
But a lot of the team were going out to
celebrate and Ben wasn't going out and I said, babe,
why aren't you going out? And he was like, I've
got too many death threats already already because they're saying
he was like such an imperative part of the match, wow,

(17:30):
And so he's like it's yeah, He's like, it's not
just I'll just go home to bed.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
It's so gross how normalized that is in sporting culture,
because especially soccer, yeah, I mean cricket as well. Is
it really really bad. It's largely connected with gambling. They
lose so much money that they get so aggressive about
the fact that they've lost so much money and they
take it out on the person who caused them to
do so.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
But there's also been so many reports about how deeply
personal becomes. I mean, like Cannice Warner has come out
and talked about it. Being the partner of someone, you also.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Become subjected to it.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
And I know they you haven't experienced it as deeply
as maybe someone like Candice might happen, No, but you
have still experienced versions of it.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
No. I think I spoke about it at one point
and I'll never forget this, but it happens really bad
in tennis, and I got a lot of it. On
the back end of dating Jordan, I would get people
message me saying that they were going to come find
me and put me on a spit, like kill me,
put me like literally put me on a spit and
cook me like a pig. They're the kind of viral
messages that you would get after every match they play

(18:27):
a match, like every single week. I think people would
be shocked if they knew how prevalent this kind of
response was privately to athletes and athletes families in the
sporting industry.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
Well, it's also there's lack of consequences. You can shoot
off a message like that saying that you're going to
put someone to spit like and nothing happens. There's not
even I mean, you get blocked maybe by that person,
but there's no consequences.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
You know why because it's almost not treated as a
serious threat or a legitimate threat. Because if I feel like,
if you took that to an authority and said, hey,
I'm getting these messages, they would say, oh, it's reactional,
it's off the back of a sporting match, like, we're
not going to take that seriously, because they don't take
normal domestic violence complains seriously. So It's one of those
things where if you are in the sporting industry, unfortunately,

(19:11):
people say it's expected. It's part of being in the
public eye. It's part of being an athlete, which we
know is incorrect, but it is just part and parcel
with being any kind of professional athlete.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
All right, guys, there is a piece of content that
is popping off currently on socials. Also, because I have
been getting very ragy in the comments, I would like
to admit now it's from another podcast that is called
The Pocket, with the host Chris Griffin. If you haven't
seen this, I really do want to admit when I
first saw this reel, without the context of knowing the
full backstory of who this podcast is or who the

(19:42):
host was, I did feel a lot of rage when
I saw this one specific reel, and the reason why
it showed up in my algorithm specifically is because of
the very delightful Laura Henshaw. She shared it to her Instagram,
calling out the host for some problematic views around this
ideology of feminine versus masculine powers, of like women leaning

(20:03):
into the feminine, men leaning into the masculine, and of
the traditionalist roles that we have in our relationships.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
Yeah, I saw Laura's as well, and I made the
comment you just said she called him out. She absolutely did. Well.
I made the comment to you, I said, I really
like how Laura has a really gentle and intelligent and
structured approach to the way she does it because it's
not aggressive, but it is to the point it is firm,
but she's not trying to cause a pile on. She's
trying to educate. And I really like that because we

(20:30):
definitely see a lot of different types of calling out
and calling in online.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well, let me tell you it's just as effective, is
what I would say. Because when you have a look
at the comments and like we're going to play the
real for you, we're gonna unpack it, you know, quite
in depth. But if you go and look at the
comments on this reel, there are so many influential influences
from Australia. There are so many women who have jumped
on this to communicate how they feel off the back

(20:55):
of it. Now, I really want to make this clear
because we have been sent this real countless times now. However,
we tossed back and forth whether or not we were
going to talk about it, and the reason for that
is is because we didn't want to contribute to a
pylon that's happening over a single piece of content, because
people can, yeah, and people can put great messaging out

(21:15):
into the world and get it wrong one time, and
that is undeserving. I think of a pylon, it is
deserving of a correction. The reason why we're talking about
this is because after we all collectively went down the
rabbit hole of the content of this podcast, we realize, actually,
this is not one outlier piece of content. This is
a current and continuous theme that is running throughout the
pod and throughout the messaging. Now, if it was a

(21:37):
tiny podcast, I wouldn't even give it the time of
day or the airtime. But I think it's important because
Chris Griffin, who is the host, he has over three
hundred and fifty thousand followers himself.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
He's only twenty two years old, mind you, he's very young.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
The podcast Instagram page has eighty thousand followers. The TikTok
has over ninety thousand followers. These are predominantly men who
follow him or his advice on how to be a
better man, how to deal with quote unquote mental health,
which we will unpack that as well, but also how
to show up within relationships. I want to play you
this reel, which is the one that Laura Henshaw took

(22:14):
particular issue with, as have we, and then we're also
going to unpack a couple of other pieces of content
from this pot as well.

Speaker 1 (22:20):
Have listened to this.

Speaker 5 (22:21):
I don't want my partner working unless she wants to work.
If you feel the need to go and work to
make money and then you come home and you're complaining
about your day when we don't need you to make
money because we're sorted. If we've got four hours to
spend in the afternoon, and I ask you, how is
your day today, babe?

Speaker 3 (22:40):
Are we your eyes to line up with excitement?

Speaker 5 (22:41):
With whatever? The fuck?

Speaker 3 (22:42):
It was?

Speaker 5 (22:43):
Four postcards today.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
And it's so good.

Speaker 5 (22:47):
It's the calm, it's the harmony. It's the peace and
love that a man that's got a busy life that's
chasing his dreams needs when he's trying to wind down.
This is why I heavily encourage hot girl walks. I
would love my partner to go on a hot girl
walk with her friends or she gets this feminine energy.
They get to talk their shit and then they get
to have a bit of excitement about the day. I
don't think a girl needs to go through challenge, pain

(23:08):
and hardship to be an amazing girl. I think she
can fill her days with passion filled things and still
be amazing.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
The music, it's the piano music on me.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
The music has me laughing.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Hashtag inciteful what I want?

Speaker 3 (23:20):
Well, the music is let there to lead you to
believe that it is deep, and it is insightful, and
it's thought provoking, and it is beautiful and wholesome. Right,
it's absolutely not my initial thought to this. I watched it,
and I disagree wholeheartedly with almost all of it. But
I thought, you know what, let me just have a
look at this person's page quickly and see what we're
dealing with. And I just sporadically at random picked a

(23:43):
few of their reels, had a little look, and I thought,
do you know what, this guy looks like. He's really
trying to put some good messageing into the world because
he does a lot of like mental health. He's sort
of leaning into mental health for men. He gets some
really good guests on, he gets some very questionable guests
on which we have discovered. But the reels that I picked.
I could see that he was trying to do good things.

(24:03):
And we had this conversation between us and I said.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, I was raging, and Britt was slightly more leveled
and was like, she was like, I don't agree with
the content that piece, but I don't want to just
annihilate this individual because maybe not all.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Of his views are problematic exactly.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
I was like, let's have some grace. Right, people are
allowed to get things wrong, and we are allowed to
call them in and correct them. And so when I
sort of trolled through his socials a little bit, I
was like, it doesn't look that bad. I think he
has gotten it wrong with a semi decent intention behind it.
What we discovered on a deeper dive, Like I went
very deep through his reels this morning before we had
this conversation, and I found that this is an ongoing

(24:41):
theme of the podcast, and I switched my tune a
little bit. Then.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Let me be clear on this. I think he has
good intention. I think he is well meaning. I think
he has absolutely no idea how deeply entrenched the misogyny
is in what he is spewing. Because this idea and
he says it At the start, he says, if my
partner chooses not to work, that is how he's originally

(25:04):
set this up, and he's using that as the antidote
for the rest of the things that he says. However,
he's then put in the specifications that he doesn't want
her to come home and complain about her job. He
wants her eyes to light up when she walks in
the door because he has had a busy day chasing
his dreams. He wants her to do things that fill
her with joy. Things that are very, very condescending, like

(25:27):
collecting postcards are going on actual world Wace collective post gus,
And there are so many parts of this that are
so problematic because it is not a woman's responsibility to
create harmony and to have her tail wagging when a
partner walks in the door because he's had a hard day.
Space should be held for both parties. My problem with
this so much is that we are dressing up this

(25:48):
idea of modern masculinity and it is just another version
of toxic masculinity. And I really want to unpack this
conversation that's happening online at the moment between the masculine
and the feminine, which seems to just be in take
on traditional roles. This idea that there is a masculine
energy that is withheld, and that masculine energy are things

(26:08):
like taking action, achievement, logic, assertiveness, whilst feminine energy calls
into things like intuition, receiving, nurturing, compassion. The problem with
this is that he has gendered those energies right. He
has said masculine energies are for men, feminine energies are
for women. The reality is is that every single person

(26:30):
has this complex duality between masculine and feminine energy, and
that is the antidote to toxic masculinity. Recognizing the fact
that men can also have an incredible presence of feminine energy,
recognizing the fact that women can have an incredible essence
of masculine energy. These two dynamics were never meant to
be gendered, and everybody is supposed to encompass both. But

(26:51):
what he is teaching, and what these ideologies teach, is
that men have one and women have the other, and
unless they are leaning into their feminine then they are
not fulfilled their rollers women well, so this is.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
One of the issues that I took from this. He's
twenty two years old. He's very young, but he has
a very big social media following. As we've established, he
is influential and a lot of young men are following
him women as well. I don't think he has enough
lived experience, and I don't think he has done enough
due diligence about the things he's talking about. This I
believe probably hasn't even registered with him. But by saying

(27:22):
you want your female partner to stay at home and
be happy for you and just go on hot girl
works and collect things that make her happy, it is
a form of financial control. She is not earning an income,
she is not earning superannuation. She's not setting herself up
for the future. If that relationship collapses, if she chooses
to leave, there's nothing for her retirement, whatever it is.

(27:44):
Unless you are saying, Babe, if you choose to stay home,
that is all good. I'm going to split my salary
with you. I'll pay you a salary, I'm going to
put money into your superannuation. Like, unless you are setting
her up financially, it is not enough to say, babe,
I've got this. I'm going to earn our money and
I'll give you what you need because we know that
relationships don't go down the Google. We know that women
need to leave and absolutely should have financial independence.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
One thing that's like, really just so reassuring and solidifying
is go and check out the comment section, because there
are so many incredibly intelligent women who are doing their
best to educate, probably more.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Eloquently than I did when I donned. In the comment section.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
One of them was Victoria Devine, who runs She's on
the Money, and she brought up that exact point, brit.
The reality is, like, the fastest growing population of homeless
people are women over the age of fifty five. And
it's all well and good to think that you're being
altruistic in your relationships and that you're providing this sense
of equality by saying you do whatever you want as

(28:43):
the woman, I will provide you provide the home, and
that's okay for the now. But I absolutely agree with
everything you said, Britt. Unless you are committing to the
financial future of that woman and putting money away from
a superannuation perspective to safeguard them. In the instance that
this financial security is gone, the man providing is gone
from that equation, then there is no security in this arrangement,

(29:06):
and I guess like, ultimately, the thing that really is
quite shocking about this is like, when we sent this around,
we're talking about it last night, Keisha, your first reaction
was I genuinely thought this was satire.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Yeah, I thought it was a joke.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
And it's shocking that a twenty two year old who
lives in Bondai, who so many young men look up
to for advice on the right way to go about
modern masculinity, are being fed these very and they are
extreme traditionalist ideologies, This idea that women the most important
and powerful essence that we can bring to a relationship

(29:43):
is to be nurturing, loving, unchallenging, the warmth embrace around
the men who has such a hard and stressful job,
but they are going to take that from us to
be able to protect us.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
The other thing that really irged me was this underlying
message that women don't have dreams, like women don't want
to go chase things because he's like, we are working
hard to provide for you, chasing our dreams, getting out
there earning the money, Like, the best you can do
is create a happy environment for us. What that is
saying is that women don't have anything that they want
to chase.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
No, I would challenge that, and I've looked at Chris's response.
He has responded on that social media thread. He said,
you know, look at the first part of my video
exactly what we unpat I said, if they didn't choose
to the problem is is that it came with a caveat.
You can chase your dreams so long as you have
a smile on your face at the end of the day,
so long as you don't complain about the fact that
you had to chase your dreams. Now, anyone who runs

(30:36):
a business or who does anything that is ambitious, has
a job that's stressful but also fulfilling, are going to
have days where things are actually just fucked and they
want to come home and they want their partner to
hold space for their complaining.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
I do it all the time. I love my job.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
I love how for feeling it is, I love how
financially rewarding it is. I love the stability it creates
for my family. But you better believe that there are
days where I come home and I do nothing but
complain more.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
Than not, to be honest, that's the society we live in.
Like work is hard, whether you're chasing your dream or not.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
But the thing is is in this equation he is
allowed to have space to be held for when he's
having hard day, but she is not. And maybe we
are reducing it down because we only have what a
lot of this conversation stems from is this one minute
social media clip.

Speaker 5 (31:19):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (31:19):
I listened to a little bit more of the podcast,
and I would say it was a bit of a
reoccurring thing, to be honest, and because of his age,
I want to give him. I want to give him
the benefit of the doubt that he has without knowing,
a complete lack of acknowledgment of things like his privilege.
And I don't think he realizes that his unevolved version
of choice feminism is actually very regressive. And what I

(31:41):
thought was really interesting about this type of messaging is
that we are seeing this shift back to more traditional
gender norms, more conservative values. But it's coming in a
form of soft patriarchy. It's not coming in the form
necessarily of this really harsh women belong in the kitchen,
go make me a fat sandwich. It's in this more

(32:01):
soft I want to be a provider for you, and
I want to set you up with a good life,
and I want to treat you well and do good
things and support you in that way, and you're not
gonna have to worry.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
I'm gonna look after you.

Speaker 4 (32:11):
Which are all great things. It's things that you want
in a partner.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
But I also know that statistically it's not the case.

Speaker 4 (32:18):
Yes, And it also it lacks firstly the acknowledgment that
there is only a certain type of woman who can
have a lifestyle like that, and it's one that is
incredibly privileged. There's also only a certain type of man
that can provide that, and it's one that comes from
immense privilege. And again, I don't want to come down
too hard on him because he is young. These are
ideas and concepts that I didn't wholly understand until I
was in my thirties. So I don't expect for a

(32:38):
young man who doesn't experience the patriarchy in the same
way to have an evolved stance on this. I just
don't think that he realizes that by implying that being
that provider for a woman and saying that you can
have the choice of not working and just being a
family man, being there for me, being you know, my
calm when I come home at the end of a stressful,
big day. He's actually sprout a lot of the messaging

(33:01):
of this very conservative let's go back to a better
time where women didn't have to work and women didn't
have to go and do these things. But guess what,
women also didn't have the right to fucking vote. They
didn't have the ability to leave their relationships if they
wanted to. Well, it's very romanticized.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
There is actually a really great comment in the trenches
of this post, and it's from a person named Nikola Carter,
and it just said, choice isn't something a man grants,
it's something a woman owns. Autonomy isn't a favor, it
is a right. And that is what I think is
the missing link of this conversation. It's as though this
ideology bestows choice upon a woman to be able to

(33:37):
live the life in whatever version she wants, so long
as it is always showing up happy and with the
smile on her face. Because ultimately, the messaging is, at
the end of the day, your obligation is to make
this household peaceful, and that's what you bring to the relationship,
So do a good job of that.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
It's funny because in the last twenty four hours, Kisha,
I have done a flip. I started out by saying,
he's only twenty two, Like, let's give him some grace
and say, you know what, you just haven't lived enough,
you haven't done enough due diligence, you haven't spoken to
enough people. Then when I went down a rabbit hole
and saw how many conversations he's having on this topic,
I thought, twenty two is old enough, and you do
have a responsibility when you have a platform as big

(34:15):
as he does.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
I one hundred percent wholeheartedly agree.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
And also there are other parts of this that we
wanted to share, Like there are a couple of other
reels on here. I pull like this reel which is
an interview with a man named Mark Rolton, who is
the guy speaking, and this really is captioned. A woman's
role is far more valuable Episode sixty five.

Speaker 6 (34:32):
What a woman can provide and bring to the family.
You and I just simply aren't capable of that. You
might turn around sack and make a million a year,
a million a month. That's terrific, that's wonderful. I think
that's a meek measure against what a woman can bring
to the family. You can bring calm, harmony, you bring love,
you bring a place of peace, and that's what a man, well,
I'd rather go in the money. I find her role

(34:53):
far more significant than not. Now. This is playing the
role of masculine and feminine. That's the model that you're
tabling here. Women today, feminists will argue, they'll scream down
your podcast and so you know we're equal, we're the same.
We deserve to have you know, the same amount of money. Right,
if that's what you want, knock yourself out. But a
feminine woman won't be looking for the markers of finance
and commerce and economics as a measure of her worth.

(35:16):
If it's a woman smart and intelligent, she realized she
has far more to offer in her power of bringing love,
bringing that connection, being deliberate about who she is, her loyalty,
her purity. That's what a woman has to offer.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
This was the real that absolutely sent me like it's
start to orbit. No, I sent me out of space.
I was Katy Perry.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
I was like, I was like, it's a woman's weld.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
That. He really drove it home with the final statement,
which was a choice for them to include and publicize
as the messaging of the real that a smart and
intelligent woman will know that she can bring peace, love, loyalty, harmony, purity, purity.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Look, I think it comes back to something that I
said at the very beginning around this idea of masculine
verse feminine, and it has been hijacked and it has
been turned into something that was not the intention. Now
it would be absolutely remiss of us to not touch
on the thing that a lot of these male focused
podcasts seem to circle around, and that is that suicide

(36:14):
is so high in men. Seventy five percent of suicides
are men within Australia.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
That is a fact.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Toxic masculinity exists. This is not the antidote to it.
That's the problem, and it's being dressed up as the antidote.
It's being dressed up as the solution allowing men to
lean more into their masculine quote unquote and women to
take more of a role of the feminine, so that
people have defined roles and men know how to lead
and they know how to take autonomy. And I say
this because this is literally Chris's quote. He has responded

(36:45):
to the overwhelming backlash that he has received and part
of that response says, I also don't think it's fair
to label traditional masculine values as toxic. Wanting to provide,
protect and lead with strength doesn't make a man toxic.
It makes him grounded in his role. What is toxic
is weakness, master's masculinity, insecurity, control, emotional suppression.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
That's not what I stand for. We can all agree
with that.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
The truth is we have too many weak men out there,
men who don't lead, who don't take responsibility, who don't
make the women in their lives feel safe. And when
women stop feeling safe, they are forced to lean out
of their natural.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Feminine and into survival mode.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
That's how we end up with quote unquote toxic femininity
and hyperindependent I don't need a man culture. It's not
empowering and it's doing more damage than good. But no
one wants to talk about that. Men and women are equal. Absolutely,
but we are not the same. Pretending we are strips
away our natural strengths and creates confusion instead of connection.

(37:46):
It's all well and good to talk about equality when
you say a man's role is to provide money, power, security, stability,
and all of the things that our society deems as
the most important functions of a person. A woman's job
is to provide all of the things that have no
monetary value, love, care, nurturing. Then you create inequality. And

(38:08):
that's what he is not understanding.

Speaker 4 (38:09):
The way that they have reframed, you know, the value
of what a woman can bring to the relationship. I
think in that video he actually said, you know, it's
a higher value than what I can provide. The thing
that they lack is that this hierarchical structure, he is
still positioned at the top. He's the head of the household.
And this is why I call it soft patriarchy. It's
not saying this is the only thing that a woman

(38:31):
can you know, she just belongs at home raising the kids.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
It's almost this.

Speaker 4 (38:35):
Language of like, I'm empowering her by acknowledging that what
she's bringing to the table is more than what I
could ever do. And I'm a high value man, and
therefore I want a high value, pure woman in my life.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
You know what the screams to me.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
You guys remember the speech that was done by the
no the Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison, butkarh and I
fucking got riled up at the time.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Fair enough right.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
So look, if you don't remember it, the speech was
at It was a Christian college. It was the graduation
college like university graduation, and the speech started off with saying,
some of you may go on to lead successful careers
in the world, but I would venture to guess that
the majority of you, this is directed at the women.
I'm most excited about your marriage and the children you
will bring into this world. He then went on to

(39:20):
say that his wife's life truly started when she began
living her vocation as a wife and as a mother.
I think it is absolutely insane that someone would get
up and say in a graduation speech when someone, every
single person who's sitting in that room has just spent
years dedicating themselves to their education, that the biggest success that.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
They're going to have in their lives is being a
mother and a wife.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
The last thing I want to say on this, and
I think it could be possibly one of the most
important parts, is off the back of something that you
just said, Keisha, you said this is like a soft
opening into a more dangerous world. It is not a
soft opening. That world is here. I want to talk
to you about this study. Young men are going backwards
in their view of gender and increasingly believing they should
be the breadwinners while a woman's place is at home.

(40:03):
A new study has found though Australians of both genders
have generally become more progressive in their opinion of gender
roles over the last twenty five years. Analysis conducted by
policy think tank E sixty one Institute found that since
twenty eighteen, men age between fifteen and twenty four, so
our next generation and Chris, Yeah, Chris, have veered back

(40:24):
to conservative direction. The research to use household income and
labour dynamics in Australia survey to gauge the level of
support for traditional gender roles based on how greatly they
agreed to a series of statements. These are some of
the statements. On the whole men make better political leaders
than women. It is better for everyone involved if the
man earns more money and the women takes care of

(40:45):
the home and children. Possibly my favorite statement from the survey,
it is not good for a relationship if the woman
earns more than the man.

Speaker 2 (40:51):
It's not good if you're in a relationship with a
man who is easily emasculated.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
That's the reality, right.

Speaker 3 (40:59):
Chris, listen to this I really do too. It's not
an attack.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
I think he will think it's an attack, and that's okay.
It is kind of an attack. It's an attack on
the values that he holds. But he is twenty two
years old and there is a lot of life to learn.
My worry is is that sometimes being called out doesn't
push people in the direction of being open minded to learning.
They double down and they become even more steadfast in

(41:24):
the views.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
And I hope that that is not the case.

Speaker 4 (41:26):
That is specifically why I have a problem with this.
It's the soft opening where they start to have these
traditional value kind of conversations, but they're dressed up as
well as and they're dressed up as what's going to
be best for you as a woman, what's going to
make you happiest and feel the most secure. And the
more and more that they hear from the and I'm
quoting them angry feminists, they just think it's ridiculous and

(41:47):
they can validate it, and then they find more comfort
and more sense of belonging in these more like red
pill men's type of communities. But I don't think a
lot of people have the context around this type of
messaging and why it can be so problematic because it's
delivered in such palatable way.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
We do have such a huge female base of listeners
age from age I think seventeen to sixty to anyone listening.
If you don't already know this, the most important thing
that you can have in a relationship is financial independence
or access to money, whatever that looks like for you,
even if you are a stay at home mum, like
that is absolutely fine, but make sure there is no

(42:25):
financial dominance in your relationship. Make sure you have a
shared account where you have access to money. I just
want to drive home. If you want to choose that life,
that is absolutely fine. Have access to money. You will
one hundred percent need.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
It, exactly as Laura Henschel's mum has pinned to her fridge.
As we all found out from the stories, a man
is not a financial plan.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
Let that be a lesson to you all.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
It's time for suck and sweet, our highlight and our
low light of the week. Why don't I kick it off?
I've already said it, but it is the highlight. My
sister moved back, so that's it for me. I finally
got my sister's my best friend. You guys all know
share on the Podge. She's come on multiple times, You've
seen her, but it's been really hard having her overseas
and have a family and start that next chapter of life.
So she is back officially on Aussie ground after two

(43:09):
years leaving overseas, so that's very exciting that she's now
far more within reach. She will be an hour flight
as opposed to twenty six hours. My suck, and I
don't know how this is going to sound.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
I think I meant to do it the other way around,
as you are all my suck, and I don't know
how this is going to sound.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
I'm worried. No, well, okay, I've.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
Had so much on and that I have forgotten to
do something extremely important that I shouldn't have forgotten to do,
and I've only just remembered. So next week I have
to fly to overseas to a wedding.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
And not her own. Well, just fy, I'm.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
Flying overseas to a wedding. And Ben had said to me,
it's one of Ben's friends. And Ben had said to me,
Wendy Land, if you got to book your flight, I
hadn't good book to fly. I forgot to book flight.
I went, I went to look for my flight, and
I was like, hang on, how did I miss that?
How did I book? How have I done everything else?
I've got booked hire cars over there. I don't even
have a flight in one week. And I was like,

(44:05):
oh my god. So anyway, that's my suck. I'm going
to get across that. But imagine if he hadn't asked me.

Speaker 4 (44:10):
Would I had just assumed figured out.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
You would figured it out eventually, because you would have
thought whenever I got to get to the airport, that's.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
Like you well, because I know the flight time, it's
always the same flight time. So I wonder if I
would have just I don't know.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
I am a person, and I don't know if there's
common I don't think it is. But I am a
last minute everything gal and I will book an international
flight two days.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Before I have to go.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
Well, I'm like, I am.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
I don't recommend it.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
It's usually more expensive, but I just don't have the
capacity to be organized. I still haven't got accommodation for
like the time that I'm going to Balley for work.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
I don't have everything's ordered yet.

Speaker 2 (44:41):
So like, anyway, whatever, no one cares about me and
my organization all right. My my suck for the week
is is that I have the most raging intergestion even
throughout this entire record, I have had to stop down
to spuebap in my own mouth. So and I'm at
the point I need I need some rainies. I need
some and I keep forgetting that I need to have

(45:02):
it on me all time, because sometimes I think it's
just a morning thing or a night thing.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
It's an all day thing now, and it's an all
the time thing.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
I even had to take my bra off halfway through
this record because I got so fired up over feminism
the patriarchy.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
I didn't wear bra, but I had indigestion.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Goddamn it. So that is definitely my suck.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
And then my sweep for the week is that it
was Mother's Day, as you guys know, last week, and
the girls are at an age now, so they're five
and four, and they're at an age now where they
actually can make Mother's Day really really special and they
get at as it, Like they get so excited about it,
so it makes it a big thing, you know, at
the schools and the daycares. And I joke because like
they put on so many things that you have to

(45:40):
go to so like I had to go to the
primary school Mother's Day breakfast lunch, and then I had
to go to their daycare afternoon tea. Thing sounds like
a lot, and I was like, why are you killing
me and torturing me with all this admin? But actually
it was so freaking cute and Lola was just so excited.
You guys know, I mentioned it earlier in the year
that she was having a really really hard time at
her new daycare and she's finally, after like almost six months,

(46:02):
found her feet there and she was so proud to
show me around. So it was really nice to see
like the night and day between where she was at
in January to where she is now with it. But yeah,
Mother's Day this year just felt really special. And it
wasn't because we did anything big. It was because the
people in my life, you know, took the time to
make it feel like it was something that was important.
And you know, I saw some people on Instagram kind

(46:23):
of talking about how the people they loved in their
life did fuck all.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
And that was subtle.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to tell you who
it was, but but yeah, it really reminds you that,
like it's one day, and as a parent or as
a mom, like being made to feel special on a
day that seems you know, it's only as special as
the people around you make it. And I feel very
very grateful that like Matt and the girls really went
out of their way not to do big, grandeurose things,

(46:49):
but just that Matt did everything from like the cooking
and the cleaning that day, and he made dinner and
then he cleaned up after dinner. Like they were small,
thoughtful things, but it meant that, like my mental load
was so in them all that day and it was
really really nice.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
So yeah, that was my sweet Anyway, guys, that's it
from us.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
If you love the episode, if you have your own
thoughts on it, if you maybe you listen to the
podcast and you think something different, maybe you've seen a
lot of the positive messaging that's come through that pod
and hadn't really considered this very specific conversation that we
have had today. Love to know your thoughts, love to
know your opinions, and slide on into the DM send
us your ask, uncuts and everything else at Love un

(47:25):
Cut Podcast.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
You know the drill, do you mum te dad teo
dot tear friends, and share the love because we love
love
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