Is Your Love Language The Opposite Of Your Toxic Trait? And What The ‘Cool’ Girls Are Quietly Doing

Hey Lifers!

You’re with Britt and Keeshia today because Laura has officially had her little Poppy! We’ll be bringing you an episode all about Poppy’s birth soon!

Britt has been reunited with Ben and is back to enjoying marital life. Britt has been seesawing on the decision of whether to have kids or not for a while now, and this experience with breast milk has surprisingly not brought her any closer to the decision. Did you/do you feel an intense ‘maternal pull’ or are you still ‘waiting’ for it to ‘kick in’? 

Do you have ROMO (relief of missing out)? Or is there a part of you that misses some of the chaos that used to be in your life? We speak about Cillian Murphy’s new ROMO phase and how our new joy in life comes from high pressure hoses.

There’s a new reality TV show where “true crime meets true love and judgement meets redemption.” We speak about whether we’ve gone too far with reality TV. Would you date someone with a criminal record? Would it depend on what the record was for?

We unpack a video posted by Emma Paige; “your toxic traits are the opposite of your love languages.”
It seems to check out in our lives!

We also speak about a substack written by Lauren Talulah titled What The Cool Girls Are Quietly Doing Right Now . There seems to be a shift in the way people are showing up online especially with LinkedIn, wearing outfits that don’t try to be flattering, romanticising platonic dependence and posting much less. Have you felt a shift in what is “cool” online?

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
welcome back to another episode of Life. I'm cut, I'm Brittany,
and I'm Keisha. And as you know, or you may
not know, Laura has left the building. We hope that

(00:21):
the baby has exited her vagina right now. But Keisha
is feeling in while Laura is away. So thanks Keisha
stepping up for the mic again.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
It's an absolute pleasure. And we have recorded this a
couple of days in advance. I know that you've been
listening over the last couple of weeks.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
You're probably like, guys, what the heck?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
But Laura having the baby meant that we had to
record a little bit in advance just in case you
didn't go to the complete you know, forty weeks or
whatever it's supposed to be, because we don't.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
You don't know right, Like, we didn't record that far
in advance, but probably like two weeks out we were like,
all right, we don't know if you've got twelve hours left.
Because she started to get feelings. We're like, wonder if
you've got twelve hours left or two weeks left, so
we need to like put some stuff down.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
We kind of had like a little bit of a
panic and added a couple of extra recording days because
we were like, we are not prepared. The boy Scouts
did not. What was their motto, always be prepared. None
of us followed that rule. But you've gone over to
see your husband.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
For the first time since you got married, dude, first
time in three months? Can you believe that first time
in three months. It's such a strange thing because you
get married and then I just don't see him and
I have it's such a weird feeling. I know we've
mentioned it, so I won't sit in it, but it's
sad to be in the most exciting chapter of your
life and not chaptering together. Like I feel like if

(01:35):
you were reading a book and you turn the page.
You know how, there's a corner. You turn the corner,
I mean, you put the corner down so you remember
where you are, but that corner is still down. I
haven't been I haven't been able to move past the house.
We're getting into literature, huh. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
I feel like there's there's kind of two ways that
you can look at it.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I think that you're extending the period where you still
get really excited.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
You've had that for three years. It's kind of special.
I feel like, I don't know, I almost feel as
though it's the opposite to my relationship.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
We went to very like monotonous living together quite quickly.
And I shouldn't say monotonous, but like, we went to
like that very Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
I think we went to that very settled life quite quickly.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yeah, we're living in a honeymoon. It's good because we're
in a honeymoon phase. But yeah, so that's where I am.
It's hard to speak to it because I'm not there
in real time yet. I'm leaving in a couple of
days at the time of this recording. But speaking of
Laura and babies, I had, like I was about to
say a world first, I had a moment that I
didn't think was gonna happen to me for a really
long time with babies. My sister Sherry came down for

(02:34):
twenty four hours. She had to come down for some work,
so she left baby Meyer at home with Jay and
it was the first time that she'd been away. And
so she gets down and she realizes that she forgot
her pump and she was like, oh my god, I
forgot my pump, and I was like, what does that mean?
Do I need to go get you on? Like I
don't know what's going on. You want me to suckle on?
Your teach is Look, do I need to step up

(02:55):
to the plate. That's disgusting. I just not need to
multi vitamin actually discussing you. You're a secret. So anyway,
she's like no, no, like I'll deal with it. Be fine.
We had a job together, so we went to work
all day so she couldn't do anything. And she gets
home and she was in so much pain, and so
she goes into the bathroom to have a shower, and

(03:17):
I am in the bathroom as well, because that's what
we do. We just talk. We don't care about being
naked together whatever. So I was like doing my makeup
or something, and she's like, hey, you want to see something.
She's like, watch how full my boobs are. I can
just I can just milk them out into the shower.
And I was like really, and she's like yeah, watch this,
and she went to squeeze her boob and start to
milk it, and I'm not kidding it shot like half

(03:38):
a meter literally all over my chest. It was like
this sexy because if it could have been hot, if
it was not breast.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
Milk, like if it was something else.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
And I was like wow, and she was like, oh
my god, never had it shot that far. But she
literally just like squeezed it sprayed straight onto me. She's like,
that has never happened. And I was like, this is
a moment I didn't think I was ever going to experience.
Like I was like, what do I do now? And
she's like, I guess you gotta get in the show. Okay.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
So she's just shut a projectile of breast milk at you.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Did you taste it? Did it land on that? Lick
my own chest? Now I'm licking the breast milk off
my chain.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Like there is a part of people that wonders what
breast milk tastes, like I've never been one, whether I try.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
My own or not.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
I mean, surely you're gonna taste your own just out
of curiosity.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
It was a missed opportunity. I probably could have taken
that moment, not even in front of sure and I
could have walked away and tasted it, but I didn't.
I just freaked out. But I would taste Shry's breast
milk like I'm not against it. Yeah, Okay.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
I feel like if there's anyone in my life that
I assume that, if they are ever in that situation,
will like prank people.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
With it, it's you. I feel like, if you ever
have the ability to shoot a projectile of breast milk
at me, you will do it. You'll take your opportunity.
Would you taste my breast milk? I reckon you? Would
you do everything else?

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Maybe you would at least for this, but actually so strange.
I have no logical reasoning for this. But if you
were to ask me, are you going to taste lauras,
I don't know why for the answer is no, And
I don't know why. It's a little bit more of
the maybe for that's strange. I have no logical reason
for why it would be more of a maybe for you.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Maybe because for me, I think you'd pressure me more.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
I think if they hold you down almost just try it.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
No, maybe it's because Laura's already got kids, so it's
more associated with like a function, And maybe if I
was having my first one, it's still like would you
taste mine? No? I reckon you would, But I don't
reckon you tell anyone I reckon you keep it a secret.
Given you tell someone you secretly feelm it for content,
did it make you more or less maternal? That is

(05:47):
such a good question. Thank you. It's hard and no,
it's a good question because you surprised me. I don't
know we're going to go there. I have not had
I'm still waiting for that maternal pool like and I
know we joke about it. I've been waiting all my
twenties for the moment of where I'm like, oh, yes,

(06:08):
I really it's overwhelming and I'm ready and I feel it,
and I've always said I'll wait until that moment. Not
necessarily that moment, obviously, I also wanted to wait for
a husband and somebody to do it with. But I've
been waiting and it hasn't happened yet, and everybody kept saying,
wait till your sister has a baby, like, wait till
it because you'll love it like your own, and I do.
I love my like my own. But it doesn't push

(06:30):
me any further in the direction of having a baby,
which I'm is really surprising to me because I thought
it would and I thought it would be what gets
me over the line with its time yeah, but I've
been reading a lot about it actually, Like you guys know,
I've talked a lot how it consumes me. But I
try and find a lot of substacks and opinion pieces
and whatever else, so just people having discussions about it.

(06:51):
I actually found a whole Instagram page dedicated to figuring
out if you want a child, like by this one psychologist. Anyway,
a lot of women say the same thing that, like
they keep waiting for the maternal pull and it just
doesn't come. And I don't know if that's I don't
know if it's a hormone thing. I don't know if
it's just like if it's a physiological thing, or if
it's a mental thing. I don't know, if there's like

(07:12):
it'd be interesting to see. I don't know if there's
something in some women hormonally that makes them supercharged to
want to have that, or if it's just like a
mental thing. I don't even know if I'm making sense.
I'm just sort of speaking as it's coming to me.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
I think you're making sense to me because I feel
somewhat similar.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
You know, there's never been a point in my life
where I've said the answer is no to children. But
there's never been a point in my life where I've
said I want it so much I would be willing.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
To sacrifice ABCD.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
I assume that I am going to want to have children.
Since having a puppy, it's definitely kind of it's done
both things.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
No, it's not pushed her back necessarily.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
It's kind of just made me a little bit more
aware of the responsibility that will come with it, you know,
and which obviously is going to be more than having
a dog. But it's almost that like taste tester, and
because she's a puppy, she's like pretty high attention needs
at the moment, and so is a small That's what
I mean. I'm like, it will be at least probably
six times as much pressure as I just kind of

(08:07):
think of, like, how.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
Much more of a responsibility will this feel like?

Speaker 2 (08:11):
And I don't know, it's kind of it's been one
of those things that I do wonder if I'm just
the type of person I think you might be similar
that nothing ever really will feel like now is the moment,
like you know, now you're ready. I just don't know
if we're those types of people. I think we're the
type of people who we kind of always say like, oh,
this week's super busy, but next week will be better,
and we're always.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
Living for that. But next week, but next week, but next.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Month, but next year or whatever it is, And I
just don't know if that ever works.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, I think that's for a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
It's kind of like you just got to it's just
got to happen, which might be happening to you right now.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
As with you know, as this episode is airing, I'll
be practicing, that's for sure. But like for Laurie is
a great example. She pretty much thought she I don't
want to speak for her, but from the conversations we've had,
she pretty much thought she was done after Lola. But
then the reason that they hadn't their third was because
she said that it changed and she felt like I
wasn't complete. She's like, I felt like something was missing

(09:08):
and I needed to finish off like the puzzle for
one of a better term, But that feeling I wish
I had. I wish I was like, yes, my life,
I need that, and then I could go in that direction.
But at the moment I don't, and you opportunity comes up,
I'm like, yes, I'll do that. I was like, I
will postpone bring the seat for another twelve months, Like yeah,
pick me.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Did something happen last week that made you feel more
or less ready to.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Be having young things in your house? Interesting than you
asked psychosia. So last week Keisha was like, hey, can
you baby sit Bonnie. I've got to go out for
this is her new little Australian Shepherd puppy. She's four
months old. I've got to go out for a couple
of hours. And I was like, yeah, of course, Like
Keisha's looked after Dalilah for years. Delilah a grown dog
that has toilet changed, but it.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Wasn't when I first started looking after her.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
I would like to make very clear to everybody before
this story continues.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
So I was just at home, and I was at
home with our friend Claire. Now you would have heard
we always speaking about Claire. She came on the podcast recently.
She was the one that was talking about the AI dating.
She works for the podcast behind the scenes, and so
I messaged her and said, hey, do you want to
come get some dog puppy love because I've got Delilah
and Bonnie tonight, So if you want to come over,
for dinner and we can just play with the puppies,

(10:15):
you know, And it was only supposed to be for
like an hour.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Actually, you guys would know Nat she did an episode
with Brittain Laura a couple of weeks ago. She wrote
the book Natures Last Dance, and it was for her
book launch event. So I was like, cool, it's not
going to be long, you know, I'll just drop Bonnie
in an hour, maybe hour and a half tops.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
It's down the road from you. It'll be so all gravy.
The girls will love seeing each other, very exciting.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
And the dogs love each other. Right, So they come
over and they're just chaos, like they are just running
an absolute muk. It had been raining outside, so the
muth that was I cannot even talk about it anyway,
So I order us dinner. I only need to go
across the road to pick up our tie, right, so
I've ordered it. I would be gone, I'm not kidding,
three minutes max to walk there, pick it up and
walk back. It's so close to my house. And so

(10:58):
I said to Claire, hey, instead of like getting the
dogs on leads and taking them out for one minute,
I was like, you just want to stay here. I'll
be back in three minutes. That's one hundred and eighty seconds.
And she's like, yeah, fine. It turns out that's all
Bonnie needs. And it turns out that is all you need.
So the back door is always open. They have been
outside for hours. They can do what they want out there,

(11:18):
they can come and go. I left the house for
sixty seconds and I get a message from Claire, who
stayed home SOS and I was like, oh no, And
she called me immediately, and I was like, what could
have gone wrong? I'm barely out the front door and
I call on and she's like it's a disaster. And
I'm like what. She's like, please come back? I come back.

(11:39):
Bonnie in sixty seconds has explosive diarrheaed the entire house.
It's like she was walking shitting, like spraying it and
it was explosive.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
We've just been too excited, and she's the moment's gotten
the better of us, and it's come out our bottom.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Okay, As if that was she simultaneously was winging and
then walking through it. So the diarrhea was everywhere, the
Wii was everywhere, and then the footprints of the diarrhea
and we I could see everywhere she'd been in the
house sixty seconds.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
I was like, how it wasn't it wasn't her best moment.
She's not proud of it. She does feel remorseful, she
feels embarrassed.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
She doesn't because she did it twice more in the
next twenty minutes.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
So I'm at this book event. Obviously phone's on silent
and paying attention to my friend who's achieved this amazing,
amazing thing. She's written her first book. She's got this
room full of people. I'm so proud of her. I've
gone to take a video to put it on Instagram,
and I've got like twelve messages from.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
It that includes a video. I sent photos. Yeah, I
sent footage and I look at it and I was like,
how is this even possible? Like I've been here for
three minutes, do you know? I was nearly sick the smell.
I have a small apartment, so the hot and we're
trying about to eat TI. I was like, nothing has
put me off ty Curry before, so the smell is overwhelming.

(12:59):
Claire bless her. I had to go outside. I was like,
I was like, you go outside, you go outside, and
you just take the dogs and I'm gonna deal with this, Kisha.
I couldn't even clean it. I had to get a dustpan.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
And broom and trying to scoop it up, Like, that's
your own fault. You don't have paper towel. Who doesn't
have paper towel in their house?

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Paper towel is not fixing this. You saw it. I
had to scoop it, shovel it. I'm like, what has
this dog eaten? Then as soon as I'd cleaned it,
you can't write this, she went back to the same
spot and did it again. Yeah, she felt comfortable there.
I'm glad. Look, it wasn't her best effort.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
It was her first it was her first time coming. No,
it was her second time coming to her house, but
it was her first time that I've left her at
your house. I do have fears about whether she's going
to be welcomed back, but she's just young, Okay. I
would like to remind you that on two separate occasions,
Delilah diarid on my carpet in my apartment.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
You never said proof of that, So it happened, and
it's improved because they didn't take a video.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
I was like, oh my days. I need to clean
this out of the carpet immediately. But yeah, look, I
am sorry. And I got home from the book event
and I washed both of them in your shower, which
was a mission. It was a lot of effort for
me for that small amount of time. You were like,
for that small amount of time, I was like, how
did this turn into such a big thing? And I
ended up being in the shower at BRIT's house with

(14:25):
a sauce pen because you you don't have one of
those shower nozzles that can come from because a cell.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
I don't need a shower nozzle. I don't need a
button nozzle. You're like, where's your button nozzle? I was like,
we don't have one. I'm like a dog that doesn't.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
I would like to formally apologize, but also ask if
Bondy is welcome back to the house.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
She is but outside. You did ask you if she
can come back tomorrow night, and I was like, yes,
but she's outside. They can play outside. They love it.
She's like, not diarrhea, no, my lunch. But it goes
back full circle, right. It's like you forget how hard
puppies are. And then it's like, imagine if this was
a real life human baby that we had to keep.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
But that has been like something that I've been kind
of been more hyper aware of at the moment because
I'm still getting up in the middle of the night
to take her out at least once.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
Laura hates you right now. Not sorry, not really, she doesn't,
but like when no, it's so funny because Keisha's been
walking in in the mornings. When we get to it,
Laura's been up all night with two kids and vomiting,
she's pregnant. She's so well, Keisha's been walking and like
sits down. She's like, oh, sorry, sorry, I'm like to say,
it's been a really rough noight. I'm just knocking any sleep,

(15:29):
and she's complaining about it, no sleep with the puppy.
Laura's looking at her like are you serious? She has
looked at me, to be fair, she's actually been really sympathetic,
which has surprised me.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
And there's been moments where I've been like, do I
need to check myself here, because but she said She's like,
puppies are a lot of work. But we're getting a
dog door installed next week actually, which I'm very excited about.
And I've realized that I have so surpassed the period
of my life. You in particular, know that the latter
part of my twenties, even like early twenties to actually
almost for the completion.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Of my twenties, I lived a pretty chaotic life.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
It was full of thrills.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
It was un medicaid, it was very up, it was
very down at certain times, but it was definitely a
life of thrills. And I realized over the weekend, right now,
I've got a little bit of a cough, So sorry
if I sound a little kroky, But over the weekend,
I was not feeling well and I get sick really,
really rarely. But I was seeing things on people's Instagram
stories of them like going and having drinks and going

(16:24):
and doing fun things in the sunshine. And I actually
had this moment where I was sitting down being like, Wow,
the most exciting thing that's happened to me this weekend
is that we bought a pressure washer.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
We met your fuddings and we bought one.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Of those high pressure hose things. Have you got one
if you don't, mate? It is the most satisfying thing
that we'll ever watching the concrete as the color changes
in the lines of the pressure washerp So there has
not been a dopamine buzz that I have got in
the last six months.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
That is as high as it is. So satisfying it is,
and like my garden is coming today. He goes, do
you want me to pressures? I said, you know it
is a pope Catholic. Yes, you are going to pressure
you want to watch it? Yeah, to see it or
just at least before and after. Our video editors were
just talking about this before and she's like, oh, nothing's
hotter that, like when you're watching like someone cut grass
or someone pressure holds a driveway, and she's like her

(17:17):
whole algorithm has become like pressure hosing driveways.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, satisfying law. And I've told everyone about this Instagram account.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
It's a place. It's the place that you get to
and I don't know if it's an age thing or
if it's who you are, but actually, you know what's
really interesting. I just read this, you know, killing Murphy.
He's from Peaky Blinders. He was just doing an interview
like on the Red Carpet about a new movie but
that he wasn't a part of. And he was asked,
do you have fomo like fear of missing out of
this movie because he'd been in other movies, and he goes, no,

(17:44):
I have romo, and he's coined a new term, and
I love it because I realized it's me. Romo is
the relief of missing out. So it's like when you've
made plans and someone cancels and you're like, thank god,
I don't have to go to that anymore, or I
don't have to go out, or I can like I
very rarely get fomo, like I am so happy to
miss out on really big things. And I don't know

(18:06):
if I'm saying it right. Not big things, but like
when someone cancels a plan, the relief that I feel
because I'm like, oh, I don't have to shower, do
my hand, do my makeup, get dressed, drive to the plan,
like I can just sit down and watch a movie.
But I don't know if it's an age thing or
if it's just like a personality type.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
I think this year I've been a lot better at
putting in boundaries. So I used to really over commit
to things and I would kind of run myself rugged
really into the ground by trying to do so much.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
And if we were invited to anything.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Especially for us in this industry, we get invited to
a lot of music events, as in, you know, the
music labels will have certain things, whether they'll have an
artist that's visiting or something like that, and they can
be really really fun.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
And I've gone to quite a few of them in
my time.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
And this year I've really made it quite a deliberate
effort to stop saying yes to those things. Because I
say yes to them because they're really exciting and I'm like,
oh my gosh, this.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Will be amazing. It's too much, and that gets to
the work week.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
They're often on on like a Tuesday or Wednesday night
because it's the time where everyone doesn't have other plans, right,
And so I say yes to them, and then I
find myself getting to the events and even though they
can be a lot of fun, I go home and
I'm quite exhausted. It affects my work day the next day.
So I've been a lot better at saying no to
those things. But now that I'm saying no, I will

(19:21):
then see people's Instagram stories like either that night or
the following day, and there's still that part of me
that's like, oh it looks so much like it looks
like so much fun.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, but you have the phomo, but not enough to
want to go again. Yeah you have, Yes, you have
romo fomo. I have bit of both, Yeah, a bit
of by There.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Is a real contrast in the last couple of years
of my life, and I really have entered this new,
very settled phase, and there is an aspect of me
that misses the impulsiveness, and it misses the buzz that
used to come from it all life. Not enough to
want to go back to it, not enough to prefer
that to where I'm in. I think I've just got
one of those brains that, you know, if this sounds

(20:02):
a little bit dark, but I have that type of
personality and that type of brain that can chase thrills,
and so I have to put certain parameters around myself
to make sure that I don't end up down some
like kind of dark pathways where I'm doing things that
could like blow up my life.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Funny yesterday, Key, she said to me, I mean, there
was a lot of context around this, but I'm just
gonna skip it. She said. If something ever happened to
be in todbler Own and we broke up for whatever reason,
and she's like, I just never date again. I just
don't think I would ever. I would just be happy
with my dog, my pressure hose, and just like live
a life alone. And it's funny you think that, because
I don't believe that, but I understand the feeling of

(20:40):
thinking that you would do that, of like I could
never face going out again and like getting back into
that like the early trenches of dating.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, And I think it's because I've got a couple
of friends who are dating at the moment, and from
what I've heard, like it was bad when I was
doing it, but I don't know if it's just circumstantial.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
From what I've heard, it is getting worse.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
I'm really feeling for all of my single friends and
for all of you listening that is single and in
the trenches of that.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Kind of cycle of dating.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
There's a part of me that I used to feel
like I could never imagine I literally would do anything
to have been with someone, like I just so desperately
wanted to be loved. And maybe now that I've kind
of reached that destination, I feel like I've kind of
got this different sense of self and like this different
sense of comfort in who I am and.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Like what brings me joy in life.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
So look at the moment, I'm kind of like, if
anything ever were to happen that was horrible and we
were to either break up or something were.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
To happen to him where he like passed away or something.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Oh, I just feel as though say that, well, I
just feel like, you know, Grace and Frankie, I feel
like the platonic friendship.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
I feel like that could happen to me. I don't
want to get people like down and say how grim
dating is right now, because I'm sure it's brilliant as well.
But just this morning, my friend who is on the
AI Dating Now was saying she had a date booked
and locked in and you get a message basically the
night before from the AI Dating Now that's like, hey,

(22:00):
are you one hundred percent locking in like it's tomorrow,
then we'll release the dating information and whatever else. Anyway,
So this was just yesterday. She was supposed to go
on this date and they both got the message to
get the location and he canceled on it, and he said, no,
he pulled the pin. But that's just not a normal
cancelation of a date. You have to pay a cancelation fee.
So she's like, this date would rather pay twenty five

(22:20):
dollar cancelation fee than actually meet me on and I
was like, that's we laughed.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Are they able to provide an explanation the things come up?

Speaker 1 (22:28):
Now? You can't. That's the downfall of the AI data
because you're not speaking to them, so you just get
a message that's like your data is canceled on you
and they've copped the twenty five dollar canceration. My rejection sensitivity.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
If anyone doesn't know, there's this condition called rejection sensitive dysphoria.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
And I didn't know about this.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
It's really common in eurodivergent people, like particularly with ADHD.
I had no idea about this, but I have a
real like sensitivity to rejection and it impacted my dating
life massively.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
But I had no idea. I thought everybody felt that way.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
If I was on that dating app, you don't know
that guy could have had a work meeting pop up,
he could be sick, something actually could have happened in
his life. But me on the other end of that
would have been like, oh, it's because of the worst
thing about me, Like this is why I don't think
I would be able to re enter the dating landscape.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
I just I think I'm too I think I'm too sensitive. Okay, well,
listen to this. It's not the worst news because there
is a new dating show that's casting.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
I can't believe you actually want to talk about this.
It's a leased to me on what'sapp last night, and.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
I was like, oh wow, we really there are just
no levels that we won't go to these days.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
I not surprising to people like I like reality TV. Okay,
have I done every reality show? Yes? Almost, I've done
a lot of shows. I love dating, reality TV like
anything to do with love, sex, dating, Like, I just
love it. I love to watch other people's relationships. That's
not shocking, and I think most people like it. That's
why we have all the pourism. Well, yes, it's why

(23:54):
we have Love Island and The Bachelor and Love is
Blind whatever else. Like, I'm sick for it. So I
saw this, like things pop up. There was like casting
new dating show, and obviously I wasn't interested to apply,
but I was interested in just seeing what, Oh my god,
what's his new show?

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Are you devastated that now that you're married, there's a
whole lot of reality shows that you can never go.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yeah, all the dating shows are gone, and I also
can't do Master Chef, can't cook, Like I'm like, what
am I going to do? I'm done? So I want
to read you the description. It's called let Love be
the Judge, seeking single attractive men and women twenty one
years plus who have been convicted of a crime and
have felt judged, misunderstood, or rejected because of it, for

(24:34):
a new groundbreaking dating series for a major streaming service,
where true crime meets true love. I love how they're
put in there.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
If you feel like you've been judged when you if
you've been convicted of a.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
Crime, you quite literally have been judged.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
Literally system Okay, this is the tagline.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
I love it. Where true crime meets true love and
judgment meets redemption. You are more than your past.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
Have you ever date someone who's got a criminal record?

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Hang on continues, let's tell sorry, Yeah no, sorry, we
need the full description in case people want to apply.
If your past has followed you into every relationship and
people can't seem to see who you are now, this
is your chance to be seen, heard and loved for
the person you've become. This is not just a dating show.
It's a social experiment in second chances and romantic redemption,
because if you are still hiding from your past or

(25:23):
the law, you might never find your future. Sorry, is
this where we're at for dating shows? And I'm I
want to stipulate. I'm all four second chances, and I'm
all for leopards changing their spots, Like I truly believe
people can change. And I'm talking broadly. I'm talking about
someone that might have cheated in the early twenties. They're
not always going to be that person. I'm not talking

(25:44):
about someone that might have been convicted of like homicide.
And then I'm like, oh, let's give them you know, yeah, yeah,
less spacelid. Yeah, like someone stole some lip gloss. I
don't know, Like, would you knowingly date someone with a
criminal history.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
When you said this to me last night, I was thinking, no,
of course, not like that is the It is literally
a glaring red flag. And then I remembered this happened. Gosh,
it must have been twelve or thirteen years ago. I
had this high school boyfriend I was visiting my I
actually turned up to the prison, so he was cheated
on me with a guard I had this high school

(26:18):
boyfriend who was a bit of a bad boy, and
I was a bit of a goodie two shoes at
the time, so we were like kind of yin and
yang and like it didn't really make sense to a
lot of our friends.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
But he was a bit of a bad boy and.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
He was super hot, and I really liked him, and
we kind of like we were high school boyfriend and
girlfriend on and off for a little while. Anyway, fast
forward to I don't know when this would have been,
but it must have been the early stages of me
being and I moved to the Gold Coast when I
was eighteen to go into UNI up there, and some
of the boys had come up to celebrate one of
their twenty first or something like that, but I was

(26:48):
a bit younger.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
I can't remember the timeline of.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
When this happened, but they invited me to go out
with them this one night, and one of the people
there was my ex boyfriend from high school, and we
were still on really good terms because of you know,
one of my toxic traits is that I'm friends with
all my exes.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
We had this really fun night out and we're kissed.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
It was a bit of a like, you know, deja vous,
a bit of a nostalgic moment.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
So we'd all kind of gone home, and I was
really surprised the next day that I didn't get any
text from him, and I had sent him a couple
of like I'd sent him one or two messages, and
I was really confused.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
I was like, oh, I thought we had something magical.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
Well, I must have misread this like a man now
being ghosted by someone that like I actually feel like
I know quite well, and like I was really offended
by it.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
And I was like, well, yeah, he had his tongue
in your mouth like ten months earlier, and you're like
where you at?

Speaker 3 (27:33):
I literally anyway, it must have been later in the
afternoon and I had got a message from him being like, hey, Caish,
I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to reply.
Last night, after you went home, I got arrested and
I was like, gone, what happened? He apparently had been

(27:53):
arrested because he was peeing on the side of Like
you know how when boys are drunk they can do that.
They can just like pee in a laneway or something
like that.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Everyone does it, p on a tree or whatever. Yeah, anyways,
public urination is what he got, public indecency. But he
also had a bit of a lip on him, so
I wouldn't be surprised if he like got a little
bit mouthy with the police officers.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
They'd put him in whatever the Gold Coast. You know,
it wasn't like a full lock up, but he'd been arrested,
so he'd been put behind and he had his phone
taken off of him, and then his phone battery went flat,
so it was quite a long process before.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
He could actually reply to me. But that's an interesting
choice to let you know that, because that could have
gone another way. Hay keish, my phone battery died, hay Keish,
I had to save a kitten. Maybe issue that I
would like need a proper, proper excuse, because of course
I went back and met him then, So so yes,
I actually want dated someone that like actually has been arrested.
I don't know if you get a criminal record for that,

(28:45):
maybe you do. Well, this is what I wonder, right,
Like I wonder what level of criminals, because there's such
a broad range of criminals, Like, let's be real, you
can it says criminal history, So I think that could
be from like public indecency.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Be from like speeding burglary, Like.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, I mean I guess up to probably more severe things.
I imagine it's going to be a broad spectrum. But
is this where we're at for like love and dating
that it's like the Bachelor's dead, the Bachelor's gone.

Speaker 3 (29:14):
It's like we're not dotting the Golden Bachelor.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
Shit's coming out soon to Prince Charming's gone. We're not
looking for that. We've got a criminal who doesn't want
to be a criminal anymore, and he's looking for the
right person to take him under his wing. Like that's
we've done this to ours elves. All of us basic
bitches are obsessed with true crime.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
We're obsessed with love and dating shows, and they've just gone,
why don't we put these things together?

Speaker 1 (29:35):
What is it? Then?

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Diagram is now a circle. We're putting these into the
one show. We're going to see what happens. We've done
this to ourselves anyway, it's not paid.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
Compensation with contract not paid because they might steal it.
There is a whole thing about that. Though this is
another episode. You and I could talk about this because
we really interested in it, probably were not so much,
but like there's a whole spectrum of people that are
like obsessed with dating and marrying people behind bars, like
it's its own little community, and I find it so fascinating.
I think there is a show it's called Love After

(30:07):
lock Up. It's about people who all that's in love
with incarcerated people in prison. But it's true, Like we
spoke about this when we spoke about them Menendez brothers,
because they have been in prison for so long.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
But I think they're both married. I know that at
least one of them is married.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
They were super hot though.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
You reckon they've got pretty privileged behind bars, but like
these people have fallen in love with them when they've
already been behind us. I think it's different if you
know them beforehand and you kind of want to continue
your relationship.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah, and you know when I think it's different again,
I feel like the Menendez brothers, they were young, they
were really attractive, their family had money, and it was
not as much as they were found guilty. It was
always so ambiguous, like it wasn't a really like no,
I shouldn't say ambiguous, but there was so much around it.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
There there was context, well, it's context.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Of saying they're actually great people who were abused, and like,
I think that's different than somebody that falls in love
with like a Ted Bundy, like a serial killers, somebody
that you know one percent there is zero doubt that
they are fucking insane, and I've done horrific things like
so I think it's different when I shouldn't say I'm
not making excuses and do what you want. But I

(31:11):
think it's different when it's like a bit ambiguous about
why the person did what they did and I don't know.
So I can see somebody falling in love with Hi
Minanda's brothers more than I can see people wanting to
marry Ted Bundy Frides And.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
I'm going to cross a video on Instagram the other
day and look, frankly, I feel like you've attacked me
a little bit because of Bonnie diarrheering in house today
and it's it's just time for me to return serve.
I watched this video, I was like, Wow, that's Britt
summed up in a nutshell, and it's about the fact
that your toxic traits are the opposite of your love languages.
So the video was posted by Emma Page. She is
from the Too Much podcast. She was from the Unhinged

(31:46):
podcast if you know about the drama and the fall
out of that, But it is titled your toxic traits
are the opposite of your love languages.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Your toxic traits are actually the exact opposite of your
love languages. So for example, never asking for help or
hyper independence toxic trait love language acts of service, isolation
as a toxic trait, quality time as the love language,
avoidance as the toxic trait, physical touch as a love language.

(32:15):
I am hyper independent and I never ask people for help. However,
my love language is acts of service. I love to
help people.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Crazy from what.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
I could gather, I don't know how based in research
this is. It seems to be a theory, but in
my mind it kind of seems to check out. When
I heard about the whole like isolation and avoidance and
the love languages being quality time and acts of service,
the only person I thought.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Of in my life was you. It's funny because now
I'm trying to think of my toxic traits. But I
think when you think of your own toxic traits, it's
different to other people telling you what your toxic traits are. Like,
I think often you don't see.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
Was that a bit confronting for well, yeah, I'm like,
what else have I done?

Speaker 1 (32:55):
But you often don't see your own, Yes, toxic traits,
you know. So I would say, and you just pointed
that out, Cash, but I would say, I'm hyper independent.
But I never saw that as toxic, Like is that bad?
I I thought that was a strength, if anything, like
I don't need you. You know, it's like not you Cash,
I need you, but I don't need Like my hyper

(33:16):
independence I always thought was a positive. I didn't know
it was classified as a top. It could be both.
But I think that along with that, particularly before you
met Ben and that kind of thing, it came alongside
being quite an avoidant person, you know, like I don't
need you.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
I will push you away if you get too close
to me. But does that check out? Like is quality
time one of your love languages?

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yes? It is. And I was just thinking about this
conversation I had with Ben, like two weeks ago when
I did my skin cancer face burn thing. You have
to take so many drugs painkillers for it that you
can't drive, like you're on the end zone, and the
gas and then whatever else they give you, so you
have to have someone drive you, much like a fertility appointment.
Once you've done it, like you're egg freezing, someone has
to drive you home because you've been on an anesthetic.

(33:57):
Ben had to sit me down and actually say, like,
stop being so independent. I was so independent that my
friend Claire had to pick me up the first time
because I was like, hey, do you mind picking me
up because I can't drive. It was two minutes up
the road, and I felt terrible asking her. She was like, yeah,
of course. Then I had to get back for another round.
I felt so bad asking her to pick me up

(34:19):
again that I fore went foregoed the drugs so that
she didn't have to drive me. Ben was like, what
are you doing? I was like, pretty, what is wrong
with you? That's ridiculous. No, I know, And that's when
I realized as a problem. Ben was like, you have
a problem. Just ask her for help. Britt. I thought
my hyperindependence was a strength. I actually fourgo. I fought forgot.
I don't know if.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
It's went or for GOODE went that's better, but I
four went pain medication.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
I did a pretty painful procedure.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yeah, I vomited in the procedure from the pain and
that's because I was like, I would rather drive myself
and not taking the he's wrong with you. So it's
funny because that's a moment that you've just reminded me
of her. I was like, oh, it actually probably is
a problem because that backfight on me, like I should
have asked for a two minute lift rather than go
through a very painful face burn. I was like, I'll
get an uber.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
They were like, why no, not getting a blood of you.
You got an uber after you got your eggs retrieved.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Because it was my thirtieth birthday and all of us
were at my bottomless lunch and all of us were
absolutely blind.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
Drunk, and we were like, sorry, we can't.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
I'm not giving up my thirtieth birthday celebrations and drinking
endless bottomless margaritas to come and collect you.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
It was like, Kesha, I really need you. You were
like you were like, do we have a friend that's
my friend and not Kesha's friend, And I was like no, sorry,
I'm taking them all.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
They're all in everyone I knew and to your party
and I had Anyway, maybe that's one of my toxic traits,
but I kind of have realized that I think my
most toxic trait.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
I spect just before about my rejection sensitivity. It can
also be called criticism sensitive dysphoria.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
I definitely have a sensitivity to negative feedback or even
what I perceived to be negative feedback, and it has
impacted a lot of my life. It also kind of
goes alongside with having a harsh in a critic and
coincidentally on not my love language is words of affirmation.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
But you know what's interesting about that is, like, I
don't know many people that don't experience it to a
level with criticism, like someone to get your criticism, you're like, oh,
I want you to like me. I want you to
have done good work. Yeah, but I'll cry for three weeks. Yeah,
but yours was just extreme. Yeah, Like it's not now. Yeah,
because I'm medicated and I've got a therapist. I can
tell when you've got dofuments though.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Yeah, but look to me, this kind of checks out.
They said in the caption, how do you prefer to
receive love?

Speaker 3 (36:28):
If it's the opposite of your alleged toxic trait, it
may be because you are lashing out from not getting
what you truly need to feel fulfilled.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
In relationships or friendships.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
This then he checks out. I crave a lot of
words of affirmation. It is reassurance to me that the
person likes me or that I'm doing the right thing.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
And I kind of have realized that these things are
like they're married. The love language is the nice side
of it. My number one love language is physical touch.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Like if I'm in the same vicinity as my husband, like,
I will bend. Sorry I was weird again. Yeah, so
when we are in the same vicinity, we'll be touching
each other every second that we're together.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
So then I guess, Yeah, you can spend on an
entire weekends without seeing another human being and only cuddling Delilah.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Which was my question, which checks out. I was like,
what's the opposite of that? And I guess that's like
introverted being on your own.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Yeah, oh, that's in space, like needing space from people.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Because I will not it. I could happily not see
anyone or speak to anyone touching anyone for a week
at a time, except I would if it was with Ben. Yeah.
So then, just to reiterate the question, how do you
prefer to receive love if it's the opposite of your
alleged toxic trait. It may be because you are lashing
out from not getting what you truly need to feel
fulfilled in the relationship checks out for me because I'm

(37:41):
not getting what I need because Ben lives in another country. Yeah,
so this is.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Bad news for if you guys end up living together,
so you're to be like, then you need to live downstairs.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
I need to only see you once a week. But
we often talk about.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Pop culture things, and I think we also talk about
the trends, particularly this divide between like millennials and gen
z and what's cool and what's not. And I think
for some of the more recent ones, you know, like
no leggings anymore, it's meant to be like loose pants
at the gym. Lin I mean a cru socks person,
but the ankle socks went.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Quite a while ago. I've never been able to sit
in this like what's cool or what's not cool? I've
never don't think I've ever been cool like I think
I'm I think I just do what I want to do.
And if somebody tells me this is a trend, I
couldn't care less, Like I will still wear what I
wanna wear. I'm always gonna wear tight, and I'll wear
whatever socks I want, and whatever socks I have that
are matching, they might be ankle, they might be three
quarter lengths, like whatever. I could not care less. There's

(38:33):
no part of me that gets dressed and lays my
socks out. And I was like, what are the young
kids gonna think? Like, I just like I just put it.
I'm lucky enough to have matching socks. I'm putting them off. Yeah,
I see pointing, But I think that I have actually
noticed a real shift online in the past. I don't
know if it's maybe like three years, and I know
that content develops so quickly.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Like remember back it would only be like five years
ago you'd post one photo to Instagram and it would
be aesthetic and it would be nice, and you'd get
likes and you'd get comments, and that would be it.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
Have a white border.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah, then it kind of went into like a day
in a life of there were all these reels. I
think TikTok really changed the game a lot. But now
we're kind of seeing a bit more of a shift
in like you'll post a carousel of images and some
of them, you know, you've got to have the right
amounts of food and scenery and you know, photos of yourself.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
I don't know. There seems to be a bit.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
Of an unwritten formula to it, and I've never quite
been able to be on the precipice. I kind of
just try and survey what everyone else is doing, and
to some extent, try to keep up. I read a
really interesting substack the other day. It was titled what
the cool Girls are Quietly doing right Now.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
You won't see it on TikTok yet.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
It was written by Lauren Tulula, and I just wanted
to read this first paragraph for you and kind of
get your take on a few of the different points
of where she has seen a shift in the way
that people are turning up online. There's a certain type
of person who stopped posting. Used to see her everywhere
on your feed, in a sponsored Instagram story, maybe tagged
in someone's chaotic ib's a photo dump. Now she is

(39:58):
quiet on the gram, she's watching, she's kind of thriving,
and she's definitely doing things differently.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
What used to feel aspirational, the.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
Macha, the boyfriend, the glossierbarm dot com in Rose is
feeling a little try hard now what's cool now is
mostly quieter, more private, weirder. It's less about being hot
online and more about being at peace in real life.
And the girls who get it, they're already deep in
these trends without even knowing that it's a trend now.
She went onto list ten different categories of what everyone

(40:28):
who is cool is quietly doing, and I wanted to
unpack a couple of them, not all of them, because
we'd be here forever.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
So who are we putting into the cool category? Because
like what's cool to you online? Are we talking about
like high end fashion influences? Are we talking just like
the friend that you know that just has a good fashions?
Like what's cool?

Speaker 3 (40:45):
I've got two in my mind.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
I'm not sure that Laura Laura what's super cool? Grace
Beverly is one of them, and a girl called Millie
that I follow. She's a UK influencer as well, and
I just feel like they're both a bit younger than me,
and I've feel like they're kind of always posting what
is cool?

Speaker 1 (41:02):
But Grace is always give me just sitting Grace from minute,
She's like a girl crush. I have a girl crush
on Grace We've done an episode with Grace bred Belief
if anyone wants to go and listen to it. She's
in the UK, she's business, own, entrepreneur, fitness whatever, she
has it all, she's got married. Amazing congratulations Grace. But
she's so such a good example of effortlessly cool. I
don't think it's.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Effortlessly I don't think it can be. I don't think
that any of these things are effortless. I think they
just get it.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
I think she's effortlessly cool in who she is, but
she works and hustles so hard, so there's a lot
of effort in that. But I think it just comes
to her. It's so funny. I just want to sit
in this for a minute. There was a couple of
weeks ago where I made the comment Keisha's trying something new.
We all laughed. It was an new outfit that you wore.
It was supposed to be mean, it was a new outfit.
And I was like, oh, you tried to on.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
The Oxford shirt from Kmart that went viral because it
looks a lot like the dish one, but it was
twenty five dollars.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah. It was like literally, it wasn't just a new
piece of clothing. It was a new style for you,
and I was like, Kisha's trying something new. Anyway. At
the end of it, you were like, I got influenced
by Grace Battle.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
She looks so cool and chic, and I, well, cool
is shit? You told me I looked like a farm girl.
I've not wor since. Okay, I need to donate it.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
No, it hits different. Grace in London hits different to
Keisha in Sydney. It's not Yeah, it didn't work. Okay,
I wasn't cool. I tried something different. It didn't work
for me. Anyway.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Here's what people who are apparently cool are doing now.
They're using LinkedIn like Instagram.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
Lauren wrote.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
When I recently decided to jump back on LinkedIn after
a very long hiatus from a professional side of my work,
I was shocked by what I saw.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
LinkedIn was different, like so different.

Speaker 2 (42:36):
The business gullies were posting soft lit selfies next to
team reflections and calling it a personal brand. They're right,
captions like navigating uncertainty with curiosity, just taking a sec
to breathe brid I've always seen LinkedIn as kind of
like a bit of a humble brag platform.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
I have it, but I don't really use it.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
I get notifications from all the time, and I don't
know how to turn them off. I don't really know
if I'm the best person to ask, because I don't
I don't spend much time on there. But I can
imagine it being very different for people who don't work
in professions like ours, Like, for example, I think it's
really easy for you and I to have our own
personality on our own Instagram, and it kind of crosses

(43:14):
over with work almost to the point where there's no distinctions,
like our work is our personality.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
They go ahead, We're very lucky.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
Yeah, And I wonder if maybe this side of LinkedIn,
it's kind of growing in popularity for people who maybe
don't have that crossover as quite as strong, or maybe
it would be unprofessional for them to have their personal,
you know, Instagram account posting their work things as well well.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
So I thought I didn't have a LinkedIn, And what
I say about that is like, I've never used it,
but apparently no. But apparently I do have it because
very sporadically I get a message saying someone's viewed your LinkedIn. Yeah.
I don't know if it's a humble brag. I think
it's okay to go on there and like it's a CV.
LinkedIn is a CV. It's okay to put every single
thing that you're good at and every award of one

(43:58):
and you're capable. Is Like, I would never go onto
a platform like that that is business based and be
like what a bragger Like it's literally like it's literally
their CV. But I find it interesting to hear that
it's now a place where people are uploading like soft
lit selfies. Yeah, that feels like it's turned into an Instagram.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
Well, I think there's maybe a little bit more of
a shift of people using it in a way that we,
as in you and I might use Instagram, Like maybe
they're really trying to work on this personal branding. I
think it would be really important for a lot of
professions and if you picture something like a lawyer or
a teacher. I don't know if a teacher would apply,
but even a doctor maybe, I mean even marketing, Like

(44:39):
maybe it's just inappropriate for you to have photos of
you in skimpy dresses going out and having fun with
your friends next to what you're working on at work
and something that you're really proud of achieving. Like, I
don't really know where the lines for that is in
a lot of professions because it's really blurred for hours.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
And it always has been.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
I've never been in a job where that hasn't been
completely okay to post.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
A friend recently told me, I don't know how chearity is.
I loved you from you. Guys. If you have hooked
up from LinkedIn, but then LinkedIn is like almost turning
into a dating app. It's like because it's I guess
if people are posting photos like people are posting their network. Yeah,
they've also got like this is what you need to
get me salary wise, Like so you can go on
like screen someone. Right, they've got your soft it selfies.
Now you know what they're capable of. You know what
towards everyone have a salary base range, Like it's pretty

(45:24):
good dating spot. Right, Maybe that's the new thing, all right.
The next one is wearing outfits that don't try to
be flattering. So these are the people that are dressing
for themselves, not for men, not for social media. It's
loose clothing, it's oversized clothing, it's clothing that's not deemed
to be seen as I hate to say it, but
like quote unquote flattering or like sexy or sexy or revealing. Yeah,
Like I've seen the shift in this.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
I mean we've gone from the body con kardashian esque
like everything was fitted that was kind of like twenty
ten's that era, to now I wear almost exclusively baggy clothing.
I can't think of the last time I wore something
that was fitted.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
To my body. The entire way I go in between
like right now, I've got a tie shirt on and
I've got jeans on. But I go between something fitting, well, yeah,
but you're not cool, So like exactly my point, I'm
not cool. But then I'll go into like an oversized
T shirt with baggy jeans. It's like, yeah, but I
think that I have seen a big switch in that
in the fashion of like oversized T shirts, oversized jumpers,

(46:23):
loose pants. I think that that's definitely in fashion. But again,
hard for me to comment because I just do. I
just run my own race. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
I also wonder whether these fashion trends do tend to
kind of reflect political landscapes. And there has been like
a few articles I've read on this that I've found
really really fascinating, and I think if you think about
it in a broader context of like what's going on,
particularly in the US at the moment with reproductive freedoms
and whatnot, it makes sense to me that there is
a pushback.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
You've kind of got the two sides.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
You've got the women who are dressing more like tradwives,
who are wearing the fitted clothing.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
They're almost like fifties in sixties.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Inspired outfits that are quite preppy and look very feminine.
And then the pushback to that, you've got these big, oversized,
baggy T shirts and you've got the loose fitting jeans,
and that is very much what's in fashion at the moment.
So look, it's not overly surprising to me that there
has been a shift in that way. Okay, the last
points that I'm kind of gonna smush too in Together
one was single and not looking just single on purpose,

(47:17):
and the other was romanticizing platonic dependence.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
So she said she's not downloading Hinge again. We've kind
of been talking about this. That's another episode.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
She's not joining Raya, she's not working on being open.
She is literally so content. She's got her flat, her girls,
her skin, care her Sunday plans. She's living by the
motto what does a man actually add?

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Right now?

Speaker 2 (47:37):
And honestly, like, I mean, we joked at the start
of this that if I were to not be in
the relationship, I mean right now, okay, I feel as
though I would find a lot of satisfaction in other
aspects of my life, and I don't know whether I
would be putting myself through the ringer of having to
go through the process of like vetting people and you know,

(47:57):
trying it out and like all of the ups and
downs that can come with it.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
I think this is an interesting point because I'm all
for the fact and truly believe, like you know, the
friendships are the things that may or may not last forever,
but they give a different comfort and a different contribution
to your life and what you need and what you
get out of it. I do not see them being
the same thing as a romantic relationship, and I don't
think they provide the same thing. Now, it's not to
say that they, like a romantic relationship and a platonic soulmate,

(48:22):
don't both bring you immense comfort and love and satisfaction
and everything else contentment. But I do think they're different.
But what I do like and I truly think, and
I used to hate when people say to me, but
I got to this point, and I think that's when
I met Ben. When you get to the point that
you don't want to be on the apps and you
don't want to put the efan in anymore, and you're

(48:44):
not actively looking, you're like, do you know what, Actually,
I am really happy on my own and I'm happy
with my friends, and I'm happy going out, and I
don't want to go and curate another dating profile and
put my prompts in and go through that. I think
that that is a really amazing place to be in
that so many women are in now. But I think
that that shouldn't mean that you close off to dating.

(49:05):
Like I just think that that's a really great place
to be, but you're still open to finding that person.
And it hits different when you don't need them but
you want them, Like you don't need a man or
a woman or a partner. You just you're so content
and living your best life that when they come, they
are an added addition, like an extra spice, but you're
not you know.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
Yeah, I do see your point. I think that as
i'm getting older.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I think that I'm realizing that the main thing I
get out of a relationship is companionship, and if I
wasn't able to get that from my romantic partner, and
I definitely get things out of my platonic friendships that
I don't get from my partner. Like it's not like I.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Expect every one of my needs to be met by
a partner, but I'm realizing that companionship.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Is actually really, really, really up there with.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Things that are going to bring me life satisfaction. And
I really like the fact that we have seen this
shift in a lot more women speaking about the fact
that they are so comfortably single. It not singleers like
hear me raw, it's peace, it's comfort. It's like, I'm
actually genuine. Elizabeth Gilbert is the perfect example of this.
She is a better she said herself, I'm a better

(50:11):
person single. I'm a better person when I'm not chasing
something from someone else. And I'm currently reading her latest
book and it's talking about a lot of this kind
of thing towards the end, and I just really like it.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I actually feel as though we.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Have seen a definite shift from what we would have
seen even five years ago, and really, I think that
that's actually really really good for people who were in
this phase themselves.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Well, the last one that I wanted to comment on
is very self indulgent. But we didn't write the article
she did. Lauren did. It's listening to podcasts that feel
like illicit group chats. So she goes on to say
this new cool girl doesn't want a crisp, thirty minute
productivity podcast. She wants three chaotic women interrupting each other
for ninety minutes, which but hits home. She wants audio

(50:51):
mess over analyzing side tangents and talk of petty drama,
bad sex, and elite gossip. All the drama, just not
her drama. These are the new digital best friends. These
are the voices in our own head after all. Now,
I love that she said that, because that's our business.
But it's so maybe we.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Should change the website, change the tagline of life on cut.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
It literally sounds like we wrote that, but I think
that's perfect and at the end of the day, we
I mean, I'm not again, I'm not speaking for Laura,
but I always wanted to create a podcast that I
wanted to listen to, and this is These are the
things that I listen.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
We finally got there, We got there, but these are
the things that I listen to later.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
It's the talking shit and the banter and having fun
and wanting to create a space where you listen to
girlfriends talk like. Some of my favorite podcasts to listen
to are exactly that. They're just chaotic women who sometimes
don't talk about anything. Sometimes you're just getting some laughs
from them and some relaxation where your brain doesn't have
to think anymore. And they're the podcast that I love,

(51:47):
and I think that it is having a real moment
because the world is pretty serious right now, and the
world's very dark. And as much as you still want
to go to those self help podcasts and you still
want to go to the serious things, I still like
listen to the news podcast in the morning, but I
want that reprieve as well, and I think that that's
a reflection of where we are in society.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
I mean, obviously I didn't only speak from my own perspective.
I'm a simple study of one. But I used to
listen to a lot of mel Robins, and this is
before she was massive, Okay, I listen to and mart
Manson was my favorite podcast I listened to mel Robins,
I listened to a lot of the whole, like self
optimization and that kind of thing, and I don't know,
I don't want to say it got repetitive. Maybe I
just got to a point where I was like, you

(52:28):
know what, I feel like I've done a bit of
work on myself.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
I'm gonna give myself a bit of a break.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
And you are right, it's kind of gone alongside when
things in the world have gotten absolutely fucked, like so
horrible that I'm like, I don't know if I can
keep tapping into this news in the same way that
I used to. I used to think it was like
a responsibility, especially for what we do for work, that
I had my finger on the pulse of everything that
was happening. And now I'm realizing that it's so exhausting

(52:53):
and there is a huge part of me that just
takes so much to light.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
It's really interesting. I'll open up my podcast library.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
I listened on Apple podcast, so it comes up with
the pictures, and I'll really survey my mood of what
I feel like. And more and more now I'm clicking
on things like gigly Squad, like my therapist ghosted me
like things that are just bringing me a little bit
more comedic relief, Whereas before I would have listened to
those after I'd listened to the other self help or
the like, you know, newsy ones.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
I don't know. I've really found this whole subsetec interesting. Obviously,
there were ten points.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
We didn't go through all ten, so we'll link it
in the show notes if you want to read the
whole thing. But I have felt myself that there has
been a shift in the way that people are turning
up online. I also think that they're turning up less.
I think that there's almost like a you know, they've
got to be a bit more strategic about it, and
that's probably as a result of the way the algorithms
work that if you're posting so much, things are going

(53:45):
to get lost because the algorithm's like, ah, no one's
engaging with that, we're going to suppress it, or whatever
it might be. When she said the thing about you know,
they're more quiet and they've found peace, I tend to agree.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
I think that she's pretty bang on with it. The
only thing I would say, like who cares? What's cool?
I was like, just do you you want to be tight, closed,
bagg your clothes. You got to post or not post.
It's like use LinkedIn. If you want to fuck on LinkedIn,
do it. We're not here to yug anyone's yum. Hey guys,
that is the imp of us. We have to get going.
If you haven't gone and subscribed on YouTube or liked
anything or commented, please go and do that for us.

(54:18):
If you are a listener, it is something that we're
really trying to focus on. And we're not posting quietly
on YouTube. Okay, we're really louding there. We're not being
cool with it. We're actually really dry, and there's so
much content on there and it is a real focus
for us right now. It's an evolution of life on
cut and it's really important. So if you have been
a listener for us, we used to ask you to
do this when we wanted reviews. Oh you haven't left

(54:40):
a review in a while, you can go do that.
But it's it's something that's important, and you're not going
to know what's important if we don't tell you, So
go and have a look. It's a lot of fun
to watch it.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
Speaking of being cool and things that are going to
be like more and more popular.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
I read a stat the other day that in the last.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Year, more people watched YouTube than what watched Netflix. Yeah,
and they kind of broke down the reasons that it
could be there has been a shift in the way
that we want to view content. But there's also you know,
when you get a brand new TV and the buttons
that are kind of already programmed on there, you'll usually
have Netflix, You'll usually have YouTube. They said that that
contributes to a lot of the viewership of those things
that I don't know what deals must have been made

(55:17):
with those companies to make sure that their button was
on there.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
I can imagine it would be in the billions.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
But because you have to pay for a subscription for
Netflix and they're going up and up and up, more
people are turning to.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
YouTube because it's free. And our YouTube is free too.
We don't have a subscription model. Yeah, so go and
follow it. Please please, there's a snap and can you
please keep sending you're accidentally unfiltered? It's really important and
you'll ask gun cuts. Just send them to Instagram Life
on Cup podcast. You'll always be anonymous. We will not
even look at your profile and unless you want us
to you can be like, hey, look at me, but
we we like really respect your privacy, but if you

(55:48):
could send those in any aftermaths or follow ups you
have if we've ever answered one of your ask gun cuts,
we want to be putting some more aftermath questions together.
And you know the drill tell you you talk to
your friends and Shanda love to Colleena.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
Mm hmm