The Morning Shed, Beauty Mishaps and Career Milestones

Britt’s peacocking has gone horribly wrong. She’s blaming the laser therapist. The laser therapist is blaming her… She’s going to be a unicorn at the wedding. She also might be banned from a different laser place for a different reason. 

Laura has reached a truly incredible career milestone with ToniMay. We are here cheering her on as *influencers, *business partners or friends.😂It’s been 15 years in the making and we’re all so proud and chuffed of their hard work.
Plus your spiciest confessions are back! Again, we are galvanised by how cooked everyone else is.

Are you on the ‘morning shed’ or the ‘5 hour morning routine’ algorithm?
We speak about the standards that keep evolving for what we are ‘meant’ to be doing to prevent ageing and wake up ‘beautiful.’ The lines between beauty and wellness seem to be blurred and it’s a bit bat sh*t that they’ve run out of things to market to us when we’re awake so they’ve moved on to products to use when we are unconscious.
Are morning routines a competition? Who are they really for?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm Laura, I'm brittany and wildly offended, but let's continue.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
No, well you're not wildly offended, but something we do
need to talk about.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
No, stop your face. I will be in control of
this conversation.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Don't don't you throw me under Eddie buses three minutes in?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Don't you out my face? All right, let me break
it down for you. It's peacock time. I'm going to
see Ben.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Thought you were about to say it's pea cost time,
and I was like, well, have you got polycystic as well?
Is this the first wee you're hearing about it?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
It's pea cost on. No, it is peacock in time.
We know that that happens about seven to nine days
before I go overseas to see Ben. And I am
going overseas next week, which I absolutely cannot wait. It's
been four very long months.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
It's really crept up fast, hasn't it like some for you?

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Baby? Dragged to the finish line?

Speaker 3 (01:01):
For me?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
No, I just forget that. We're like on holidays in
a week and a half. I mean when only having
a very short break. We haven't exactly figured out what's
happening in that break yet. We'll still have episodes for you,
but we're taking a week off at some point over Easter.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yes, so I did start the peacocking, and for the
first time in the history of my peacocking, it has
not gone to plan. So things have gone pretty wrong
in my life this past week. And it's not just
a peacocking. I'm also pre peacocking. It's a pre peacock
for the wedding as well. So like I'm a couple
of months out from the wedding, so I've started that,
and then I've upped the ante for Ben. So there's

(01:33):
a lot of pre pre peacocking. So I got first
of all, last week, I was getting a laser on
my face. Not something new. I do it all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
I love it, Matt did say. He said it's been
a while since Britt has posted a video of her
in a clinic getting a face She's done. He's like,
is she good?

Speaker 2 (01:49):
All right? Well, no, I'm doing it behind the scenes,
all right, I'm doing it behind the scene.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
He meant it sincerely. It was funny, though he mentioned
it in, like sure, talking about me behind while you're
getting your skin wedding prep started. He was like, when's
it happening.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
I've always been very supportive of man. So I went
to get this laser, which I'll always do, and she's
blaming me. I'm blaming her. But she said that I moved.
Now I know what you're thinking. No, I still have both.
I still have both eyebrows. But she was like, oh,
you're a wriggly little one. And I was like, what
have you done?

Speaker 1 (02:20):
You're like, I was completely still.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
I was like, why are you saying I'm a wrigglly
little worm? And she's like, we've just nipped a little
bit of the hairline there. You just moved a bit.
And I was like, sorry, what what did you nip?
She's like a bit of a hairline.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
It's okay, it's fine, and.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
I was like okay. So we kept going. I could
smell it. I could smell the burning hair, you know
when you sing your hair. And I was like, you
know what, Brett, just sit through it. It's cool, can't
change it now, we'll.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Deal with it.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
The end.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Receding hairlines are hot.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
So anyway we get to the end, lasers. Fine, uneventful
for the rest of it. And then she showed me
my hair and she's this, there's a circle the size
of the lazer that she just burnt off. It's gone,
and now it's growing back. It's literally like you've shaved
your head, so it's about three milimeters long. She's like,
it's fine, there's not damage long term, it'll grow back.
I was like, I'm getting married really really soon, and

(03:13):
I'm gonna have what a centimeter of hair and a
hatch poking out like a Frolet. It's gonna be a
front mullet unicorn, but literally. And I was like, bro,
She's like, you can just slip it down. I'm like,
I almost slick it down.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I'll buy you one of those like clear mascara sticks
that are used for, like, you know, slicking down your fly.
That's why you wanted my clip infringe to cover it.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
I don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Can I ask, though, because is the laser you have
in your face, does it work in the same way
as like a hair laser will actually grow back? Because
I feel like sometimes affect things in different ways than
what you would expect.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
It is growing back, that's the problem.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
I can't see it.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
It is like three millimeters.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
It's bigger than that. But you can keep saying three
milimeters yeah, because it's.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Well, it only got lasered off a week ago, so
that means my hair's growing preoy far.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Oh no, sorry, I thought you meant the no. It
goes back about a centimeter, but three millimeters of hair.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Growth got you.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
No.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh no, it's deep, she's gone deep. I was a
real riggly worm that one. So I'm a bit upset
by that. But I might have to have a fake
fringe or a select down in a lot of sea.
If I didn't tell you, I don't think you would
have noticed yet. But you're gonna notice when it's about
a centimeter of hair that just flaps out at the front.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
This is what happens. This is the one thing that
no one tells you about after you have a baby.
Like everyone tells you that when you are pregnant, your
hair stops kind of falling out. Your hair gets really
thick during pregnancy. But then everyone says, oh, your hair
will fall out once you have the baby, which it does.
Like you have like really radical hair shedding because when
you are pregnant you're the cycle of hair shedding slows down,

(04:44):
so you go through this massive hair dump which everyone
knows but no one talks about when it grows back,
and when it grows back, you just grow back with
tufts all over your head. There's just like it's like
a crown of hair tuffs.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, but you get the toughs and a baby. I
just get the tofts, and.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
The baby is the constellation prize to the tough It's.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Also a wedding. It's like I have never had a mishap,
and now it happens, but it gets.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
That mishap is very small in comparison to the other
mishap that has just happened.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, so scrapp in. Four days ago, I went and
got skin needling. I know it sounds like I'm getting
a lot, but it's all been scheduled in. It's all
booked in for however many weeks and months out. Also
had this so many times over the last few years.
I don't want to scare anyone by it. I have
never had anything go wrong. It's always been great. I
don't know what happened this time, but something's gone haywire.

(05:34):
So I got it a bit more red than usual,
a bit more painful than usual. Usually it goes down
that night, nothing happens, like you can go about your
day the next day. You don't put makeup on, but
it's like, you know, it's it's.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
A little bit tender, it's a little bit rad but
but it's not like.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
One of those things that makes you hectic for two.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Weeks and you're not getting super deep skin needling. It's
like it's one millimeter.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, so something has happened, I don't know, some sort
of a reaction. And my face it looks I don't
even know what it looks like. It just had big
red lumps that are so itchy over my whole face.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
I'm gonna be honest. You came to work yesterday and
I was like, whoh, you've done something Like you said,
what's wrong with your face? No, I said what did
you do? As in like what treatments did you have done?
You're like, oh, why why.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Did you do that?

Speaker 1 (06:18):
And I thought it must have been like a reaction
to having laser. But when you told me you had
skin needling, my instant response was like, it's a bacterial
infection to the skin needling, Like something's been spread across
the face. Maybe like the gin and the skin truct
wasn't right trying to cover it, or the needle might
have been contaminated, or it got contaminated afterwards. But like
it is, you're on some hectic antibiotics and some hectic stars.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I think it was probably contaminated afterwards because I've never
had a problem there. So what skin needling is like
lots of little holes in your face. You're supposed to
keep it clean if something does get in there. I
don't know. Maybe Delilah licked me. I don't know what
it is, but that doesn't make sense to me because
it is across my whole face. Yeah, and it's really red, angry,
itchy lumps.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
This is day five.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
I am now on hectic biotics. I'm on like a
steroid cream, which is great, but guess what that gives
you thrush. Guess who's going to see their fiance after
four months. It's been a series of unfortunate events, but
it is all under control. If Ben's listening. Ben doesn't
even know this to this extent, so it is all

(07:18):
under control. It is getting better.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
I had the last.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Awkward moment I had.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
This is completely on me.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't know why I did it.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
I said it.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
I went getting full body laser as well, like the
hair removal, because I've been doing that for the last year.
So it's like I get legs, Brazilian underarms, butt, I
just get the whole thing. I think the butt's called
the Hollywood. We've spoken about it before. We're got to
lay your tommy and pull your butt apart and you
go in and you get a full service. So I'm
laying down and if you haven't had laser, I'm just
gonna explain.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
You can also thank you're a beautian because she already
started on your hairlines, so they've got less to do now.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
She goes, I didn't know you were doing your hair.
I was like, no, I wasn't. So when you lay
down and get laser. I don't know if all machines
have this, but my place does. So they have the
laser and they hold in one hand and then attached
to the laser is a tube that just blows hardcore
air out so that when the laser gives you a
bit of heat, the air is simultaneously blowing down. So

(08:11):
when she's doing my legs, she's going on my legs
and she gets to my vagina and so she's doing
the flaps, the lips, the vulva, the vulva. Sorry whatever,
So she pulls.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
One apart just say she's doing my laber but it's
not lavia. It's your labia majora, not your lab majura.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yeah, okay, officially she's doing my labia majora.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Just like, okay, you can say flats for you, like
my lips, like please, I don't know what a less
full on than flat?

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, lips the lip. Okay, she's doing my labia majora.
So she's going up and she's going up the labia majora,
and as she does it, the cold air is blowing
for one hundred miles an hour into my into my cervix,
into my clitteress and everything, and I just start it's

(09:00):
it's been a while. I start giggling NonStop. I can't
it's so ticklish. And I'm giggling while her hands and
the air is down there, and she looks up and
she goes, you okay, and I'm like, it's so ticklish
what you're doing. And then I was like, why did
I say that out loud?

Speaker 1 (09:13):
I just stopped.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
I was like She's like soy, and I was like nothing.
She's like it tickles, and I'm like a little bit.
I'm very ticklish, and she's like her.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Head and going, don't stop.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
And then I realized what I'll say, I think you
missed the.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Spot a little bit to the lamb. But I was like, ah,
that's it.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
It was my Dourdal monologue. You know when you say
something and you're like, why did I say that out loud?
And then she was only on the first lip, so
then she had to go over knowing that it was
tickling me. And then I was like, I don't want
to say I was enjoying it. It's not like I
was getting off. I wasn't. I want that to be clear.
But the fact that I sat out loud like oh,
because I'm really ticklish. I'm a really ticklish person. And

(09:50):
then she had to just commit to it. Then I
had to flip and do the Hollywood and you can
never go back there ever. No I rebooked into this session.
I was like, can I do another one tomorrow? I'm
that too soon.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
I need to go. I've never had laser. I need
to do it.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
You need to go, just so you know what we're
talking about.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
I need to do it, although I mean mine, We'll
just no, let's not talk about mine. It's fine, it's fine,
continue anyway, save Majura. I don't want to have just
save Majua again.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
So that's that has been my series in the last
ten days, and I'm just besim myself. I just want
to get there. But I will be there like a sphinx,
I hope be a hairless cat.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
We look. Actually this kind of leads us into what
we're going to talk about on today's episode. Yeah, well
it does a little bit later on. We're not getting
there yet, but I just kind of want to like
preface it. It's coming. We're talking about the Morning Shed
because I am getting absolutely reamed by the TikTok and
Instagram algorithm at the moment, which I think it is.
It's having a very viral moment, this beauty Morning Shed

(10:44):
that a lot of influencers are pushing and we have
some feelings and thoughts about it. But before we get
into that, I've got some updates. So I mean, you
guys might know you might have seen on socials and
I talked about it a little bit last week. I
opened my second to it looks so good. Well we
had I.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
Would have thought I would have got more of a discount.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
You came in and took like a heap of free shit,
didn't you.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
It was I did buy a lot the other night
you did. Yeah, I was very supportive. Laura does give
me free stuff sporadically, but I was like, I'm here
to support you.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
So we did it a bit different because like, so
the Bondney story is our second one. We have a
Paddington store, and the reason why this one was kind
of cool is because we've been Actually there's a whole
story to I'll tell you that. Laughter. So the Thursday night,
which was the our official opening, instead of it being
like an influencer event, I mean, I know you two
technically counts influencers, but like you're one of the only
ones there.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
We're also a business partner.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yes, I know, so instead of doing like an influencer event.
Oh that's right.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
Oh sorry what sorry?

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Who are you? What's your name again?

Speaker 2 (11:45):
So that makes sense as well?

Speaker 1 (11:46):
On Twitter? Sorry did you share in tay Tony Mace wife? Upside?

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Ho? Is this how I find out?

Speaker 1 (11:53):
I did? No? So what I'm saying is is Normally
when you have these kind of like openings, it's always
like an influencer event. We didn't want to make it that.
We planned it for our top VIP. When I say
VAP customers, I mean customers that have been shopping the
brand for fifteen years.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Customers.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah, people who have placed Like one of the customers
who came her name's Liz. She flew in from Melbourne
and she's placed over one hundred orders over the last
few years. Like she's incredible, right, And it's really as
a testament to like, one how long the brand's existed for,
but two like how incredible some of the repeat long
term customers we have. So we were like, okay, how
can we hero that? And we did that in the
afternoon and then we had family and friends come. The

(12:31):
reason why it was really cool and like something I
know I don't I mentioned Tony May and we always
have a laugh and I'm always like swepe up, swep up.
But genuinely the business now that I've had for fifteen
sixteen years, and the reason why this was so incredibly
special to me and sentimental and like really felt very
full circle is because I started at Bondi Markets literally
I think it was fifteen or sixteen years ago, and

(12:54):
I would fill out my car every morning when I
was still working. I was working at the time for
a hearing a company called Stocky Laboratories, and I used
to do all of their graphic design and stuff for ale,
their new clinics and like any like website or pamphlets
and stuff that was going out. That was me.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
And those hearing aide pamphlets were prettish choice when you.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Were there, pretty high level pamphlets. Those brochures were brochuing.
But yeah, that was like my back life. And I
was doing that Monday to Friday, and then on the Sunday,
I'd pack on my car and I'd drive down there
and I'd set up my little trestle table and my
little tablecloth, and I'd lay out all my jewelry that
I'd made during the week in the evenings and I
had my umbrella, and it was just like it was

(13:32):
such a fucking process during the market. So I would
like feel for anyone who's who is still in the
midst of that. It was the time I really took
for granted because every weekend, my grandparents, which is what
the name of the brand is named after Tony May,
Tony and Shirley May. And I've spoken about my pa
by Heaps on this pod. But they would get the
train up every weekend with collapsible chairs and they would
come and they would sit at the store with me,

(13:54):
so they'd get there at like eleven, and they would
stay over lunch so that I was able to go
and get some lunch.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
I'm like, cry, that's really just like, oh my god,
they must be so proud of me.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, it was really cool. I feel now I'm going
to cry.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
Sorry, I'm not gonna cry. I'm not, but I did
cry yesterday, so my capacities are But that's really sweet.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
It was really cool, and yeah, they used to come
every weekend and they were just so supportive. And even
though like my nan came from that generation which was like,
you don't have your own business, you work, you have
job security, she hated that I quit my job and
that I started doing Tony mayfull time because she was
always so worried about how it was going to end up,
which is fair, but was also incredibly supportive, like she

(14:36):
never ever, she never shot on it. She was always like,
you know, she was always my number one fan, but
she was just worried all the time. You know, it
was something that she kind of constantly fretted about. But
we have been on the wait list for a shop
in Bondai for seven years. And the reason for it
is because when you think of some of these high streets,
like I think it's actually called High Street in Melbourne,

(14:57):
in Bondai area it's Gould Street. There's loads them around
the country where you know, in Paddington, for example, there's
Glenmore Road, So you probably know, like if you live
in a metro area, there's probably an area where it's
really cool shopping like all of like your favorite brands
or like slightly like upper class brands like Serve the
Label or like you kind of cool Zulu's efforts and stuff.

(15:18):
They have shops there. And the way that those areas
usually work is that you don't just apply for a
lease and get a lease when you're a new business.
You have to put in a tender, so you have
to actually like present what your brand is, what you're
gonna invest in renoventing the store, like what your annual
income is. That you have to really pitch who you
are and what you do.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
They try to keep a standard, yeah, because there's such
tourist hotspots too, so they're trying to keep a standard.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Which is why we've waited for so long, because we've
applied and gotten knocked back several times. So like, it
was a really huge achievement to get to a point
where the brand itself was recognized as being good enough
to sit alongside some of these other brands. So yeah,
it was a really big and exciting night. And I've
just like I'm so now. Sometimes you run from like
one thing to another thing to another and you don't

(16:02):
have any time to just like stop and appreciate it
our whole lives.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
And it's one of those things where if I actually
had this conversation with a friend of mine on the weekend,
I caught up with him. We're both from Newcastle, little
kids that started in radio together.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
He is performing in Titanic the show. That's amazing. It's
amazing and he's fantastic and I.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Was supposed to go see it, but then my face
broke up absolutly. Shit.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
It's really funny.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
But we had this conversation where we were kind of
sitting across from each other because he was about to
go and do two shows that day.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
And I was like, could you have imagined telling.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
Little I won't say his name in case he wants
that nymity, but could you have imagined telling the little
version of yourself that this is where things would be?

Speaker 1 (16:40):
And like it's just so the same for you.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Could you imagine telling that girl who was hustling her
ass off trying to create this kind of different brand,
Like there weren't many jewelry companies that were doing the
type of thing that you were doing, and in fifteen
years you'd be getting one of the shops.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, it was a low and long slog I got, like, you.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
Know, instant gratification doesn't happen for things that are really
purposeful and that kind of thing totally.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
And I think we all live very busy lives, Like
you know, allies are no different to anybody else's in
terms of the business. Like it is something that every
single person has to deal with, and it is so
easy to not validate or like spend time in your
achievements or celebrate them and just move straight on to
the next thing because so many of us are kind
of caught up in that hustle culture. And it was

(17:25):
probably the first time from a Tony May perspective in
a long time where I was like, I feel really
proud of this, and it was.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Really fucking cool, and it's a huge achievement. And we
see from the outside how hard you work and how
much hustle there is to get to where you are.
And we're not saying this to glorify it, but it's
really hard to grow any business, especially like when you're
doing other businesses and your mum. And it was an
amazing store and amazing opening, and I think it's I
think it's the first of many. But it's actually really

(17:53):
cool too from my perspective. So two stores down from
you is Zulu and Zephyr, Like you just said, so now,
I was looking at it when I was at your opening,
and I was like, how cool is this? So Zula
and Zephyr are some of my best friends. The two
girls own that they're sisters. We have gone to school
together since we're five years old. They're coming to my
wedding exactly the same story as you. They started at
Bondi Markets. They would go down, I would go down

(18:14):
and help them. They just grew from nothing into the
juggnule that they are and I had this moment where
I was looking I was like, wow, like Tony May
is here on this high street in Bondai, two stores
up with my other friends that have just worked so
hard to get there. I was like, this is really
a really cool thing to see people in your life
absolutely kicking goals.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, and this is an amazing thing, right, I mean,
we'll wrap it up in a second. Bondai Markets and
so many markets across Australia have created incredible brands and
the Will Samantha Will started at Bondai Markets. There are
genuinely so many arms of Eve, which is a great
jewry label that's taking over Australia at the moment. They
also started at Bondei Markets. There's so many, and like,

(18:49):
it's kind of amazing that something that's so humble, like
being a marquee, which is what we used to refer
to ourselves is back in the day, I was a marquee.
Everyone that it really can be the platform for so
many people. And I think it is the reminder that
if you have a small business or you have something
that you're wanting to do just getting started, you don't
have to have it perfect. It doesn't have to be polished.
Just having a store, getting an income in, getting an

(19:11):
understanding of like what people like, what people are receptive to,
is like the most incredible way to product test your
market and to start, just to get started.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
But I think the other thing to note there is too, yes,
exactly what you just said, but also this is evidence
that it does not happen overnight.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
It is it is.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
It's been fifteen years in the making to get to
where you are now, and obviously you had success before this.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
But also and also I know I had like an
incredible privilege of like the Bachelor, Bachelor and like all
that that brings in terms of notoriety, business and coming
into Britney's orbits, but actually forever grateful.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
The funniest thing was, well, don't know if it's funniest's
a couple funny things. But I didn't know that we
weren't we weren't that you weren't launching that shot. And
so I was trying to be a really good friend.
So you mean the week prior, So the week prior,
I was like, I'm gonna to be the best friend.
I didn't. It was secret squirrel for another week. So
I like went down to the street, took all these photos,
put the links up, put the store up, shouted Laura out.

(20:07):
And it was the way you you've reposted, I think,
because I think you're already like, oh it's out there,
but the way you reposted it. And you said I
can't remember what you said. You said something like I
wasn't gonna do this yet or something, and I wrote
back and I was like, hang on. I was like,
was I not supposed to do this? I thought I
was being like a really great friend, and I just
blew the law.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
I was like, cats out of the bag were open and.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
I was like, I'm so sorry, I can delete it.
One hundred thousand people sit.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
I was like, oh, well, in celebration of the absolute
monstrosity that is married at First Sight coming very shortly
to an end. I watched some of last night's episode
where it was like, quite a spectacular dumping that happened.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, it was the ultimate.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Okay, so we thought, why not chuck in a little
Confessionals and get all your dirty, dark secrets anonymously of course,
and then air them out to you every.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Time we do the Confessionals because we only do it sporadically.
I always wish we did it more often, because I'm like,
I love it, I do have.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah, to be fair, though, we got less than this time,
and I think it's because last time I said, like,
you guys know that you're anonymous, but not to us,
like we know who you are, which is fine. We
would never tell anyone.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
We listen and don't judge hand on heart.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
Sometimes I judge hand on heart.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
I can honestly say I could put my life on anything.
I do not click on one person's profile that writes
to me they are anonymous. I do not look at
who you are ever, and I can promise you on
my life.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
That actually is correct. I don't look at people's profiles.
I just screenshot. I do is screenshow I literally just
type it down, so like I see your handle, but
I don't care to look.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Tisha, you're not selling it.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Guys, send us your confessionals, because honestly, they're hilarious and
I think that they're really they're really like, that's the
right word I'm looking for. Galvanizing is really I was
trying not to use it, then that's what I was.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
Laura has been thosaurusing.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
After some feedback, Yeah, I've been told guys that the
word galvanizing is out, and also triangulate, and triangulate.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Is also our people play word bingo. Actually, Laura hasn't
triangulated in a while.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Okay. The thing that's really galvanizing is the bad that
we're all a little bit fucked up and we all
have things to confess, and we have all done cook
things in our time. Some of them are not as
bad as this, but a lot of them are pretty bad.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Some are really cute, though innocent. I don't mind those ones.
We might read a few of those.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Okay, I have a non cute, innocent one. I mean
it's innocent, but it's just a bit like maybe you
need therapy. Here we go, let's kick it off. I
used to use my mum's vibrator.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
Ew why no, stop it someone necessary?

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Well maybe she was young and she didn't have one
and she found her mum's and she was like, give
that a crack. Yes, it's unnecessary. I would agree.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Necessary, it's no. It's a strong no from me.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
I'm going to use the same fork.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
Sorry, with's the similarity.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Kesha, I don't know what you do with your hawks.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
I would rather use a cucumber than my mum's vibrator. Okay,
she's also from the kitchen. I agree.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Would you put it back? Would you wash it off
and use in salad?

Speaker 2 (23:00):
You're probably good? All right. My ex's new girlfriend came
into the cafe that I was working in, so I
spat in her smoothie.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
No, that's not okay, you can't.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Oh well, I was gonna say, did She didn't do anything,
but she might have. They might have been cheating or something.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
It doesn't matter. That's absolutely overstepping a line. One. It's
place that you work.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
But no judgment because we said no judgments. Don't spit again.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Okay. I was on my dad's phone and I saw
nudes of his boss's wife. He's having an affair with
his boss's Why his boss's wife.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
What do you do?

Speaker 1 (23:33):
What's like the outcome here? That's a power play. Do
you say something to your dad or do you just
I think you let that go?

Speaker 2 (23:38):
No, Dad snooping on your phone? Saw nudes and it
was your boss's wife.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah, but like, maybe dad's single. Maybe Dad is able
to make terrible decisions and choices for himself. I'm not
going to get involved. If my dad's fucking his boss's wife. Dad,
that's your problem. Dad's also his boss. You don't know.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Definitely not could be consensual.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
I don't think.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, regardless of consensual or not, you're not going to
sit down with your dad. I'd over like beef struggled
off and be like.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Hey, dad, I think that there are things in life
you just don't have to concern yourself with, and this
is one of them. Like your dad is making decisions
for himself. You just see that stuff and you just
move on with your life. In other countries, that happen,
all right. Here's one. If my husband ever leaves pea
on the floor, I wipe it up with his towel
and I hang it back up. I support that, y.
That's exactly my point. If you have grown you live

(24:23):
with a grown man who is urinating and he can't
aim and get it in a toilet, and he leaves
the piss on the floor for you to clean up,
I'm all for you doing it with his towel and
hang it back up his toothbrush.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
That's too far, okay. I shot myself on the first
day of my new job, so I just chucked my
undies out of my car window onto the street.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
I once shat myself when I was working at the
shop years ago. Please come into Tony may Steel. It
was in the BONDI stop, No, it was in It
was in Westfield. It was in Westfield, and I just
thought it was going to be an innocent little toot
and it wasn't. And I had to throw them under
it in the bin and then enough for me to
be horrified, horrified. And I've honestly never told anyone this

(25:06):
until now, so this is therapy for everyone. I just
remember being like Duke. It was like a horrifying moment.
I fullshit myself standing in my own shop and then
had to like only employee. Yeah, I was the only employee,
but it's an open Kiosk store. I was just standing
in west At least you're at Westfield.

Speaker 3 (25:22):
I did would have been in like a standalone shop
where there weren't any underwear stores around.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
My store used to be directly across from Cottonam Body,
so it was very convenient.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Can you put a sign up when you're the employeers
like sorry out to lunch back in five we like
shat myself back and fire the idea.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Okay, all right, I've been having sex this Okay, this
one is absolutely wild, guys, strap on in. I've been
having sex with my sister in law for four years
and she is married to my brother, so they are
having like a same sex relationship. But her sister in
law is married to her biological brother. Do you reckon
the brother knows? Because that's so she's brother does not know. Yeah,

(26:00):
she's fucking her brother's wife.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Oh my god, imagine if you found out that your
wife was cheating with your sister.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
That's like a double betrayal because siblings are supposed to
support each other. Yes, this, I'm gonna be honest. This
was a profile I felt like I wanted to click on,
but I didn't. But I would love to know, and
then I would love to go and find the sister too.
I just wanted to put all the pieces of the
puzzle together, but.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
We don't do that on air, and we don't.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Can I read you the next one?

Speaker 2 (26:22):
Sure? Go double whammy?

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Okay, this is my last one. When I was seventeen,
me and my friend drove past my ex's car. I
knew that he rarely locked it. I did a pooh,
and I left it on his past.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
She took it dumb on his seat.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
She got a proper cooks it sent me. I wonder
what the planning of this was.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
Were you just driving past or did you deliberately plan
your sheep for that?

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Like the driving time, I think you know that your
ex boyfriend doesn't lock his car parked in the driveway,
and you were like, I'm going there under the cloak
of darkness, magic in the takeaway container, and you dropped
in his front seat dash cam. No, surely it's not.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
Surely is not in a takeaway container. I think she's
did on the seat.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
You're not doing it straight from the source.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Shit in your friend's car, in your ex's car. You're
not gonna say, Oh, you know what, I will make
it easy for the cleanup. I'll put it in a
takeaway container. It's on there.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Oh no, you're tipping it in. You're not, You're just
put it. I just imagine she just backed it out
onto the seat.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
That's what I reckon. I reckon it was a straight evacuation.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
The reason why I think that that's not the case
is because there's more potential to get caught, Like the
longer you're in there and the scene of the crime.
So I think there was a bit of planning. Also,
guys like you can do this. If this is something
have you been cheating on, here's a new way of
getting back. Just go shit in the car.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
It is wild to mean what people do.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
To be fair, I have so i' probably shouldn't his
car even you could get away with it.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
You could get away with it, except now that you said.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
You'd imagine the Daily Mail article.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Do you know what I worry about now? There's too
many cameras. There's street cameras, front porch cameras, dash cams.
There's so imagine if you got caught and they released it,
if you pull your pants down and your exit. First
of all, it's breaking into maybe two jogger.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Yeah, poo jogger did get into a lot of trouble
because there were so many cameras.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
They kept shitting on someone's doorstep that had a camera.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
I remember people thought, didn't people think it was roxy Jasenko?

Speaker 1 (28:21):
No house, No, they never thought it was. Don't spread rumors.
Britt roxy Jasenko was the victim of a poo jogger
who kept shitting near her. PR officers.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
Yea, oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Something that I have been trying to talk about for
the last couple of weeks, but I kept getting sidelined.
Is my algorithm. I have been getting spat out something
that is increasing, and now it has become well and
truly cemented in my feed. And I know that Britt
you've also started to be fed this. I don't know
a Keisha view. Is this something's happening in your life?
Definitely not as much as yours.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
I think it's trending. I think everyone's getting fed them now.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Okay, so this is like what we're talking about is
the morning shed routine. Now very famously, in the last
couple of days, a lot of media have been talking
about a guy called Ashton Hall who does the five
hour routine and his is around fitness, so it's around
like prepping himself for the day. I would be lying
if I know the intricacies of this, because I'm not
across it fully. Oh.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
He wakes up at like the crack of dawn. He
goes outside on his balcony and does one hundred push ups.
He does this whole skin thing, nosing breeding thing.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
He also puts his face dunks his face in an
ice bowl of water for inflammation.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Three times. So this starts his morning starts at three
point fifty and it finishes at ninth. That's when he's
like ready for the day, prep for the day.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
That's over half a day of a work day and
he's just ready for it. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Now lots of people have already unpacked this. This is
not what I want to talk about, but it does
go to show that these morning routines are getting a
lot of airtime recently. The morning routine that I am
being fed is more of a beauty a beauty shed.
It's a TikTok trend. So it has come about increasingly
so recently that this beauty shed trend, which is showing

(30:03):
very prominent influencers waking up with layers as though they're mummified.
And I'm talking everything from jaw girdles to hydro mass
to eye patches.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
What does jaw girdle.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
It's a girdle for your jaw, like for a double chin.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
It's meant to like you kind of attach it around
your ears and it's meant to like hold your chin.
I think you can get two kinds that or I
don't know if it's like it could be for two reasons.
One is that it keeps your jaw shut, so it's
meant to encourage nose breathing.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
And the other is that some people reckon it makes
you awl look more snatched.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Yeah, like holds the double chin, Yeah, and kind of
like I don't know, holds them I don't know, holds
the bits in and teaches them to not sag.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah. I mean it's to divine gravity. I mean, all
of this is around like the outrageous standards that there
are in order to prevent aging. And also there's been
some research that's been done into the fact that we
age during the night and as we sleep purely because
of the positions that we sleep in, so wrinkles can happen,
gravity happens. I guess like there's some very prominent influence.
Who are the ones that are leading the charge in this.

(31:01):
There's this one woman named NP Miranda who we both follow.
One of her mourning sheds has over fifteen million views
on it. We'll pop it on socials so you guys
can see. But I am partly intrigued, fascinated, slightly envious,
and then the other side of me, I cannot get
my head around it, and I just don't understand how
we keep evolving into these new standards of absolute absurdity

(31:24):
when it comes to the beauty industry and what it
is that we need to do to maintain as women
in order to prevent God forbard aging. What are the
things that she's doing in her videos. Each of them
is slightly different, but i'll just talk through, like some
of the things that she speaks about in her like
several hour morning routine, several hours of this, so she
wakes up and she is like mummified. There is layers

(31:45):
upon layers, and the theory behind it is the uglier
you go to bed, the more beautiful you wake up
in the morning. Right, So here are some of the
things she does. The ice face water the same as
what we just discussed. She does tongue scraping. She has
a naval patch that she wears, so she wears this
a sticky thing over her belly button which stops any
wrinkles on her stomach. So it's not just face, it's

(32:05):
a full body thing. That's why it also has cast
or oil in it, which is meant to help with
digestion and bloat. She wears a silk bonnet. She has
this silk hair wrap. She has a jaw girdle. She
wears an overnight hydro face mask. She wears eye masks.
She has a breast pillow pad which stops her breasts
from having any crease between them. She got a link
for that.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
They knows some big boob girls.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
She goes and use a vibrating plate to help with
lymphatic drainage. Thought you're gonna say, I the morning retage.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Goes and uses a vibrator. I was like that, get
it girl, that one I can get behind.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Wellness is important. She has mouth tape on. Then she
goes and talks through her collagen supplements that she uses,
and also all of the other types of like oils
and lotions and potions and vitamin cs and syrums that
she has on her face is like a whole separate
part of her skincare routine.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
I'm tired thinking about it.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
But this is just it, right. So the interesting thing
to me is like she kind of shows like her
routine in the morning. She's three quarters the way through,
and then her husband, who's clearly gotten out of bed,
moses on over, gives her a kiss on the cheek
and goes on with his day, and I'm like, why
is it that we have to do this now? As
women do we have to get up an extra hour early.
Are we supposed to be implementing any of this.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
I'm not convinced that people. I know that these are
trending videos and reels and they're getting fifteen twenty million views,
I'm not convinced that anyone is influencing people to do this.
I think people are fascinated by the fact that there
are people that are doing this, But I don't think
anyone watches these videos and thinks I'm going to start
doing that, I'm going to add four extra hours to
my day. Not only that, but the expense that that

(33:31):
would cost. Like every product that she puts on at night,
a face mask every night, I mask every night, that
all costs. That all costs money. It's not like it's
just something where you wrap your hair up in the
same silk cotton thread thing for three weeks straight.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Yeah, but it's not just the cost. I think the
thing that really gets me is like the time deficit.
As women, we waste and have to spend so much
time on our appearance. And I also think, yes, I
do agree with you, Britt, I'm like, absolutely, I actually
don't think that that many influencers are sleeping like this.
I know that mouth breathing and tape and all this
stuff is kind of really getting a moment in the spotlight.
But the problem is is I look at it, and

(34:05):
I'm someone who has very fucking little time to care
about any of this stuff. Like I am as low
maintenance as low maintenance comes. Sometimes I wash my feet
in the sink. Guys, like, we.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
All know, but you did that even when you weren't busy.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
But this is true for I am a low maintenance galley.
I haven't been to the hairdresser in I've been once
a year. Like it's to the point where I'm like,
probably could put a little bit more effort in. But
even I watch these videos and like how dewy and
fresh and young and aspirational their skin looks in the
morning once they've done their shit. I'm like, should I
at least try and entertain half of this or a

(34:38):
quarter of this, or maybe I need a jaw girdle.
Gravity's taken hold, baby.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
I think I'm trying to play Devil's advocate here because
I have a couple of things that I like to
do at night time, and I tell myself it's because
it's meant to help with sleep.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Like I'll lay on my shock te mat.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
I've been spraying magnesium you know that salt Lab magnesium
spray on my feet because it's meant to help with sleep.
I have this spray that's called this works, and I
don't whether it does or not. It's like a lavender
spray that's meant to encourage RESTful sleep. Sometimes I'll do
the little massage ball and I'm kind of like, oh,
this is a nice moment of self care, you know,
like I'm putting a little bit of time.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
It'll only bit ten to fifteen minutes or whatever. I
think that's.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Different though, because that's about your relaxation and also helping
you get a good night's sleep as opposed to trying
to wake up beautiful. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
But I wonder if maybe like there is a bit
of a crossover. I wonder if there's a bit of
a crossover of women kind of going, oh, these are
the things that I do at nighttime to kind of
like make my morning quicker. You know, I used to.
I used to use them quite a bit. I haven't
used them for a little while actually, but phase ten
drops because it gives you a bit of color to
your skin. So I find that in the morning, if

(35:41):
I have that, I don't have to put foundation on,
similar to getting like eyelashes or eyebrows done, it kind
of takes out that step in the morning.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Well, this is the thing that I find really interesting
is that it definitely is straddling two different trends. One
is obviously, like the beauty industry, which you know, we
can talk about all day around the problems and issues
that align with like the expectations of women. The other
is that it's straddling this type of wellness trend and
that the way that it's being positioned throughout TikTok and
social media is that it's it's you clawing back time

(36:09):
for yourself. It's you doing something that makes you feel
good about yourself. But I don't know, I kind of
call bullshit on that.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
I call bullshit because it's not cloring back time for yourself.
Kis you just said you do it to make your
morning routine quicker. You put your hand drops on, so
you lose a step in the morning. This is adding
hours of time to somebody's day in the morning. I
don't know many people that has the time, energy, or
money to be doing that. I also think that if
you went and looked at all of these comments on
these trending videos, a lot of it would be outrage.

(36:35):
A lot of it is not like, oh my god,
can you link that product, or like people are saying.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
But I am interested in the boob separation thing, that
would be well, no, this is the thing though, right.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
They're trying to say that it's actually meant to reduce efforts,
so it's meant to be passive. So instead of you
having to go and get your facials and do all
these other things, it's like do the prep pre going
to bed so that the work is done while you're asleep.
And I'm literally all, you're just taking off the layers
in the morning.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
I would rather go and get a facial once a month,
then add four hours to my beauty reaching in the morning,
I will wake up as late as now. I love skin, right,
you know that, I actually really care about it. I
make sure I use great products. I make sure I
don't go to bed with makeup on my skin. That's
great at the bread besides the lumps on my face
right now. This is a one off. But I do
have nice skin because I look after it.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
I just say, genuinely do.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
My skin is great because I genuinely care about it.
But you do not need to be putting four hours
in every single day. And I hate that people are
being sold ap and like as much as I can
laugh about it, I was telling Keisha before, but I
have a product that I put on my chest at night.
I'm a side sleeper. And now people may or may
not know this, but like hands, neck and chest are
your first parts of your body to age and to

(37:42):
show signs of aging. Hands are because they're always in
the sun, whether you're driving, walking, whatever, your whole life.
Mine's my neck for sure, God, And so neck and
chest age really quickly. Now, if you're a side sleeper
like me, I have slept on my side every night
in my life, your chest creases and that's why you
get wrinkles quicker because you're on your side every all
night and just it just happens quicker. So I bought

(38:03):
this thing. It was on like Shark Tank years ago.
It was a real startup.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
I know what you're talking about. It's a silicone pad
that yeah, on your is a reusable silicon pad that
stops your declotage from wrinkling.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
So you can get it for face. There's loads of
different areas and it shapes that body part. So I
got it from my chest. You reuse it, you just
peel it off, put it back onto it sheet, use
it at night. So I use that at night. You
don't notice it's there. But it takes two seconds of
prevention the night before, Like I put my skincare on,
slap it on my chest and go to bed, and
I actually think that really works.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yeah, but this is one step of this right totally.
I get what you're saying, and I know that you're
like keep people will pick and choose the bits and parts,
but like, you're already doing a version of what this
shed is. Obviously, people like NP Miranda, who are like
leading the charge on this, are doing a very extreme version.
But I do think that over time, these things are
going to creep into our beauty routines. And it might
be very extreme at the moment, but beauty pads, overnight,

(38:55):
face masks, eyemass like chin girdles, this shit, I guarantee
you in the next five six years, it's going to
become way more, way more common. And also it already is.
So many people are mouth taping because there's so much
conversation around mouth breathing versus nose breathing. Every second add
on Instagram is the magnets that you can put in
your nose to open your airways. Been using them. The

(39:16):
conversation around health, wellness and beauty is starting, and I
don't know it's always been overlapped, but the overlap is
becoming far more severe.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
I think it's also wild that they've almost run out
of things that they can market to you when you're conscious,
so now they're actually marketing products to us when my
unconscious as well.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
And I don't have a problem when the things like
mouth taping and nose taping and things like that, when
there's science behind the fact that it can help someone sleep,
if you are having problems sleeping, if you have sleep apnar,
if you're a snorer, there's a lot of reasons that
scientifically or medically that that is backed. I don't have
a problem with that at all. I know a lot
of people that do it and swear by it, and
it's changed the way that they sleep. My problem is

(39:53):
when it's been sold to you to wake up beautiful
as a woman, you have to have this four hours
of prep, whereas man wakes up and gets on with
his day.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
Well, no, that's where I think it is interesting because
I do think there's still a gender disparity. I do
still think we're still seeing mourning preps for men. They
just look very different. They circle around fitness, wellness, around
mouth breathing. But there's just a difference between how it's gendered.
For women, it's around beauty, for men, it's around strength
and wellness. The other thing that it kind of reminded
me of is when I did the project last year.

(40:23):
Was it last year before? I kind of remember, but
before Lisa Wilkinson left the project, we did one of
the shows together and we were sitting in the makeup
chair having a conversation around kind of started off around
like how much time has to be put into makeup,
Like is in like you literally have to get there
so early and it's been takes so long, especially if
you're not doing the morning shit. But it also kind

(40:44):
of turned into a conversation around pay disparity. So something
that Lisa Wilkinson said is she was like, oh, you
know what doesn't get taken into account when it comes
to women's pay, especially in media, is how much time
we sit in this makeup chair and we sit getting
our hair done and so so. From memory, and I
don't want to quote the timing's wrong, but if you're
on the project as a woman, you have to get

(41:05):
there at eleven am in the morning. The show doesn't
start until what is at six or seven pm at nighttime.
And the reason that you get there from that early
is because you also have to do all the prep
for the day. You've got to understand what the content is.
But then you sit in a makeup chair for one
and a half to two hours while you get your
full hair done, your full makeup done. And when you
think about people who are in that position every single day,

(41:26):
the women have to sit there and get it all done.
The guys just come in get a touch up, so
they get to do an hour and a half less
prep essentially than what the women do. And this is
not isolated to the project by any means. This is
every single female reporter, anybody who works as a woman
within this industry. And I know that your thought might
be like, well, why don't you just say no, just
don't get it, Just don't go on there.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
We won't get the jobs.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
You won't get the jobs. The expectation is as a woman,
you present in a certain way, especially within media. If
Sarah Harris or Lisa Wilkinson sat on that desk without
a full phase of makeup and their head done perfectly,
people would be like, she looks like a mess. You know.
The feedback for taking that time back would be so negative.
But there's no additional payment. There's no additional remuneration for

(42:09):
the amount of time it takes to just be a
fucking woman. And I know that that kind of deviates
a little bit, but I mean, I guess the link
in here is that the expectation for women to put
so much more effort in for dates, for their morning shed,
for their nighttime five step, ten step, whatever the step
routine is, there's already such a deficit of time that
we lose out on.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
Going back to this guy that's trending for his three
am wake up call, five hour routine. There's always been
this story about how to be uber successful, and a
lot of mainly men, have gone to say that to
be successful, we get up at three thirty or four am.
I'm talking about like the CEO of Apple, Mark Wohlberg,
who starts his routine at three forty five.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
I think there's always been an obsession with famous and
wealthy people's mourning routines and how they set their day
up in order to be millionaires or billionaires.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Well, what I wanted to say is the Sydney Morning
Herald did an article running on successful people that get
up at the dawn to be at their work by
nine am, have already worked out, have meditated, have done whatever.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, they're insane morning routines. Yeah, they've said.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
Here Jennifer Aniston rises at four point thirty to chug
a mug of hot lemon water, while Michelle Obama.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Wakes at that hour to work out.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
So they also in the article put Mel Robbins. They
put Tim Cook, who's the CEO of Apple. He gets
up at three forty five am. And so under all
of these people in this article, they also included our
very own Australian Jane lou So. She is the founder
and CEO of Chopo Uber successful self made Jane eight thirty,
wakes up, splashes water on her face, gets coffee and

(43:35):
Breakfast goes to work at nine thirty, and I was like,
I just love the flex that you. We always sold this,
like you have to be up, your bed has to
be made by four am, you have to have meditator,
you have to have journaled, and she's living proof. And
I love the fact that she's like, I literally do
nothing and I am still successful.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
This is something that I loved talking to Mark Manson,
who wrote the sid Alad not Giving a Fuck on
the episode of Him on Cloud and we were talking
about wrning routines and productivity and for us, we were
talking about it in line with ADHD. But I remember
when I was doing Breakfast Radio and it was almost
this competition of who had the biggest struggle, because who
got the least amount of sleep, who had to get
up the earliest, like all of the journalists that work

(44:14):
within that network would have to get up a lot
earlier than us, And we had to get up really
bloody early, like they were up between two thirty and
three thirty. I think most of their wake up calls were.
And it almost seemed to be this like battle between
who had it the worst, so therefore who worked the hardest,
you know, and for me, it was just so weird
having this really early alarm always in line with it

(44:36):
meant that.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
You were a really hard worker.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
And chatting with Mark Manson, he was kind of like, yeah, no,
that doesn't work for me, Like I don't get up
at the cracker dawn and hit my hardest task first
and try and get all these things done.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
He was like, I have to kind.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
Of ease into my morning, and you know, I'll ease
in by doing the smaller.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Tasks first and lead up to the bigger ones. And
this was literally a question I wrote down for this conversation.
I was like, is this just now and you've said
of competition, yeah, which it just is. And when you
think about all the things that we compete in, when
it comes to hustle culture, when it comes to anti aging,
when it comes into like it is just another competition.
And I know that the content is fascinating, but I
do think it kind of sets this conversation around like, well,

(45:15):
what are you doing with your morning to be the
best version of yourself?

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Well, it is time for sucking, sweet, I'll highlight now
low light over the week. I will kick it off
breaking the rules. I don't care what you say, my
face is my suck. My series of unfortunate events that
have unfolded the week before I'm supposed to go and
have sex with my fiance is my suck.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
They're partly my sweet because I made for good stories.
I mean, I don't want you to have, like, you know,
a bacterial infection.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
My thrush is your sweet, And to be honest, I
don't have thrush yet. I think it'll come tomorrow because
I've just started my antibiotics, so I'm pending thrush. I
am going to rush down and I am going to
buy some thrush cream.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
What is your sweet for the week?

Speaker 2 (45:52):
My sweet was on Saturday. I got a message from
my friend who lives in London. Laurie love you. She
does it to me every time. Though. I got a
message from her being like, hey, babes, coming back. I'll
be there on Sunday. Can I stay for a while,
And I was like, yeah, you can stay on Sunday.
Thinking I was like, of course, you're always welcome.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
Laurie sounds like a vibe, but I do not understand
people who's no because it's crazy to me that she
comes from England, she comes from overseas and just randomly
texts and goes, hey, I'll be there in a day.
Like that is like the most extreme version of someone
rocking up at your house without an invite.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Yes, And you might remember I talked this is the
same girl I spoke about that did this like six
or eight months ago last time she came to visit.
We've been friends forever, we lived together in London. But
I was like, yeah, of course, thinking that I had
a week to prepare. She meant Sundays in like ten hours.
She's like cool, I'm in Dubai at the moment, and
I was like, oh sorry. I was like, you mean Sunday,
like tomorrow. She's like yeah. I was like in ten hours.

(46:45):
She's like yeah. I said what times you arrived? She's
like six am. I was like, oh okay, so I'm
going to bed now, I'll see you in five hours.
I was like, so you mean five hours time and
she's like correct, And I was like cool. Doesn't matter
because it doesn't affect my life. She comes and goes,
and I don't have kids and I've got a room
for it doesn't matter. But it's always funny that she
blows in on my doorstep. I woke up. I just
left a key out. I didn't get up. I woke

(47:06):
up in the morning and she was there on the
lounge with Delilah, and I was like, this is actually brilliant.
So my sweet is the fact that I had a
surprise visit from a friend that I have been friends
with forever, and it was just so nice to have
someone else in my house. We're having dinner together, We've
been having a great little time.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
So that's a nice company.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
I dropped her off today. She's gone by Lauri by
Laurie should be back.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
She's probably just messaged the person that she's going to
stay at the house of that's what she would do.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Bless her soul. But she's the kind of person that
everyone would have at any time, you know.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Well, my sweep of the week. I'm also breaking the
rules with it being work and shot related. I'm literally
leaving here now to go to the other store because
we've closed up Paddington's store for three weeks while we
renovate that one. So there's nothing like managing three renovations
at the one time.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
Don't want to say it's self inflicted.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
Yeah, yeah, I'm the only person I can blame for
this and my oh, I did it the wrong way around.
That was my sweet yeah, you do fuck everything up. Whatever,
go back to this up.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
We don't get we love go to the sock now.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
My sub for the week is we so obviously like guys,
we've been doing this renovation. Speaking of renovations at our
Ala Dolla house like the house Shanto Murder Sho Shanna
Dot mrd dot house if you're not following off on Instagram,
it's been a fun reno project. All I want for
this house is for it to be fucking fun and wacky.
It's a holiday house.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
And also finished and I want to be done.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
We really lent into this maxim minimalist kind of theme
and I am fucking loving it. Like I love the house.
It's come together so well. We posted one of the
bathroom reveals which was it is shocking to me how
angry some people get about renovation content when it's a
renovation that they don't like, Like.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
Really shocking because you have rage baited and you talk
about rage baiting, so you can't be shocked that they're raging.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
This one wasn't even a rage bait. This was just like, hey, guys,
here's our bathroom. And then people were like, fuck you
for fuck in the bathroom you And I was like,
it's my bathroom.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
Can we beat those out?

Speaker 1 (49:02):
And and I was like and this one woman wrote
she was like, I would never choose to stay here
because of the aesthetic. And I was like, Lisa, girlfriend, chill,
you're not it's my house.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
You can't come stay. That would be weird.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
I don't know. I wouldn't even take a dump in
that bathroom.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
I'd rather take dumping my exs car.

Speaker 1 (49:18):
Here's a Daily Mail article which sent me, guys, here's
the headlines.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
Is an article in your bathroom.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Yes, Laura Ben slammed for ugly bathroom renovations. Looks like
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on acid. And it does.
And I fucking love it. Guys. Why you're looking at
me with pities?

Speaker 3 (49:36):
No, it's because so much content about you. For some reason,
people just associate acid with a lot of it. You're
the praying man just on acid on Dansy with the Stars,
and now you're Charlie the Chocolate Factory.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
There is a theme.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
I couldn't pass that point in my life. Maybe it's
because I come across as a bit scabby to some people.
Can I come across as a bit like I think
you do?

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Think you give that vibe?

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Yeah, I don't do acid everyone, Just to make it real.
Clue in case any confusion here, But the house is
almost finished and look the renovation is coming together so well.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
I think you have to expect it. When you're literally
asking for an opinion, you have to expect that people
aren't gonna like it, but it's definitely the way that
they say it. You don't have to be that rude
and nasty. You can just be like, yep, not for me,
don't love this, don't love the color palette because you've
asked for it, so people are gonna say it. Well,
you don't have to like DM Privately.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I think that there is a line when you ask
for people's opinions and you ask for people's engagement. Don't
get me wrong, Like I genuinely love that that account
has created such conversation. Like you know, it's got like
seven hundred comments. People really are engaged in reno content
and people feel really passionately about it. But people also
have very passionate ideas around having something that's got resale

(50:43):
value that doesn't go to outside the box, because you know,
you don't have anything that's too polarizing, because then you're
gonna affect selling the house down the line. And I'm like,
wouldn't it be nice if we were all just able
to design a house based on our own style and
the things that we like, and a room that sparks
a bit of joy, even if it's weird and you
might not like it.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
I would like to see the house. We were invited
for Christmas last year. There was very optimistic at how
quickly you're going to finish that. You were like, guys,
it'll be done by Chrissy. We'll be in We'll have
a great weekend down there.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
We're gonna have summer, it's Christmas, it's Christmas. We're gonna
have an awesome winter down there in the coastal home.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
So like, that's coming twenty twenty five.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
I can't wait to use your fucking ugly boss. Yeah,
I'm going to dump in my honest suite. You will
not use it anyway. You can use the one downstairs,
which is way fucking ugly. So you wait till people
see that one. Hey. Anyway, guys, look, if you love
the episode, or you want to leave us a review,
let us know what you think of things, do it
fucking kindly and ell us do you like the bar?
You can jump onto Apple Podcasts. You can also jump

(51:37):
to Spotify. You could jump onto YouTube wherever you're watching it.
There's ways ways for you to join in the conversation.
Or you can also join our Facebook discussion group which
is Life and Cut Discussion Group.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Don't forget to you, Mum, pay dad, tell you dog,
tear friends and share the love because

Speaker 1 (51:50):
We are There are formal members