November 26, 2023 • 26 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
pay our respect to their elders past and present and
extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander
peoples today.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, I'm Mitch. I'm Mitch.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hello, I'm really good.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Hi guys. This is the pickup. This is where we
package up the best of our radio show and can
give it you in one nice.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Little spot on a Sunday, A spicy little morsel. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
It's like where we definitely do the best off, like
we shave it off. Yeah, I mean, if you listen
to it live, it's not all the bits. But anyway, Okay,
So on the radio show this week, I told a
story which may discust you and may also make you think,
may make you think less of Matt, and that's okay.
I'm fine with it. I've told him that I was
talking about it. Yeah, it's problematic. Yeah, so he has
(01:00):
decided that we should take a new technique with disciplining
our children, right, that whatever they do, we should do
to them. And now I don't mean everything, because I
you know, sometimes kids hit and they behave badly, but
like the small stuff, if they do things that we
don't like, then we should show them that it's not
a very nice thing to experience by doing it back
to them.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Can he learn this on a podcast or a book
or something.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
No, I don't think Matt has ever read a parenting book,
considering he does a very good job, but kind of
like monkey see monkey do right, So if they do it, then,
oh no, I don't think that is eye for an eye.
Maybe he's probably a better saying, to be honest, you.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Just it's kind of like when pulls the kettle black, the.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Apple never falls far from the tree. But let me
tell you, actually that saying does relate in this instance.
I hate myself so much right now because I couldn't
even think of a saying in my head. I wanted
to join in that band, turn I couldn't. I could
see that that was like thinking of saying sounds like
I don't have one. BRIT's eyes displazed over and she
was like up a pipe in the drain pipe drink
(01:57):
all right, okay, so basically what happened in our house.
Told is that Matt farted on Mali, and I'll explain
the details surrounding that. She was very upset, so disgusting.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, I can't more for it. It's funny. Yeah, I
like that family.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Stay also fart on Laura's children.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I would never far on Marli, not just too young
for it. Mona real potent. She would not like Marly
would be unwell for a week, but she'd pull through.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
If you farted on me, Mitch, I would chop your
hair off.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
When I lived in your house, I ruined that toilet.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, I know you did. You left it in there.
It was skitty central. Started on your pillows. It was
skitty central.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
No, I say to Brits. She goes hi like, please
clean my bed sheets. And I didn't even sleep in
her bed like I sat on it once.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You slept in there with a lover, you had sex
in there. Yeah, that's okay. Let's stop bringing out the past.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Good point. Bring on the future.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, let's look forward to the future.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I agree. This week on the show, speaking of my lover.
I invited one of many over to my house, even
got one. I've got one. My roster is it's dwindling.
My parents haven't met him, and then they almost did.
They almost did butt naked. You got to hear this.
It's shocking. He's gorgeous but naked, like my dad got
fist but me.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But oh please, don't talk about fisting. And I said,
my dad had fist, but there was no You said,
sneaked and then fist and I heard it in a
very short my dad would fist but me.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
My dad would fished me in front of him. Is
what you thought? I said?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
He said, your dad him in front of me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
And then with the bumping happening.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
This has taken it really dark.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Anyway, that's what's on the show, not the fisting, but
the story.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Okay, well I told you you guys, speaking of fist,
speaking of fist. Ben came. Ben, my partner, surprised me
and he came to Australia, which is absolutely beautiful.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
But it was something something I caught him doing while
I was here. I caught him to him something in
my room that has literally made my year. I have
never laughed so hard and I'm going to tell you
about it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
All right, Well, all of that and you know some
other very funny parts come and write up. So Matt,
my beautiful partner, he has a new parenting technique which
I don't think I agree with. And now, look, I
agree with a lot of the things that he does.
I think we're very much on the same page when
it comes to how we raise our girls. But this
is something that I don't really and can't get behind.
(04:21):
So Matt has said recently that if the best way
to kind of show a kid that they shouldn't do
or behave in the way that they're behaving is to
do it back to them. So if they're being mean
or they're like whatever it is that they're doing, but
if they're doing something that's mean on repetition, doing that
behavior back to them shows them that it's not nice
because the kids will then experience it themselves and then
(04:42):
they'll you know, consider maybe they shouldn't or they should
kind of you know, change their behavior.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Dicine, Yeah, old, how.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Does that feel? Not nice? Is it exactly right? So
this played out recently in our household. Mollie May was
sitting Mally May's for she was sitting on Matt's lap
and they were like playing it game, and then she
farted on him and then started laughing and ran away.
And now look, I I mean, it was disgusting. She
shouldn't fart on a dad. She thought it was very funny,
(05:10):
like she intentionally did, like oh yeah, yeah, like she'd
stored it up. And then it was like no, no,
not even remotely. She like aimed and fired straight out
of dad. Half an hour passes and Marley and I
are having a cuddle on the couch and Matt walks
over and he farted on our four year old. Oh no, can.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
You put his bad Where was it passed?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
He rolled very close to her and he farted on
her legs. Yep, and then he ran away laughing, and
she started crying and now looks from the stand and
not laughing. I don't think this is funny, Okay.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I think it's terrible because you're in the Yes.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
He's disgusting, And I'm sure someone's going to be like,
that's not fair. You can't do that to children.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Somebody saved them.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
But look, on one hand, yes, I think it was
a very effective way of teaching her that it's not
nice to fart on people. But on the other hand,
I don't think that this can be the benchmark for
how we parent our children.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
I'm not opposed to like teaching a kid like you
know that doesn't feel nice, doesn't like if they pull
someone's hair, give them a little tug, doesn't hurt like.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I'm not opposed to that. But the thing I find
funny here, Laura, is your opinion on this, right, So
you're really against matt coming and farting, and you're like,
you can't do that. It's disgusting fight on a four
year old.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Do you remember on the show, Laura talking about what
she thinks about faring.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Back to me, Yeah, I can smell the hypocrisy or
did you just let one out because probably.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Both a couple of hypocrisy? Or is fluffy off the chair?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You know a couple of weeks on the show Ago, Laura,
you said this.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Don't fight on them because I know you and Mattie
before anything, you and your husband Mammy Jay, Laura, you
are farting machines. They walk around the house. It's a
game who can farting? And they have italies. They fart
on each other. They on each other here, Okay, I
don't fight on he backed up into you. Sometimes he
will like reverse into me and pretend like because he
(07:08):
does this as like a nice affectionate thing as well,
he gets my arms and he wraps my arms around him,
will have a cuddle. But every so often he'll do
it and he'll actually just fin in my lap because
he's revols. It's discussed. So what do you think the
kids are going to do if they see their parents
think it's funny to fight on each other. I think
they were setting a very bad example. But I stand
by this. Farts are funny. They are funny. It is funny.
(07:31):
You should not do it on your child.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
This is just opening up a can of worms that
I don't think we needed our household.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
This is teaching me so much about parenting. It's it
just flip flop based on what's funny. You just pick
and choose.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
This is how you should behave except for if it's funny,
and then that's fine.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
At the end of the day, Matt needs to stop
fighting on his kids. Matt needs to stop funing on everyone.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I completely agree. Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
And if you're listening to this and you come from
Child Services. The kids are, I swear they're fine. I reckon.
I am in for a pretty good Chris. And the
reason I say that is I'm a big believer in karma,
and yesterday I just did like the deed of all deeds.
So I was just walking in my suburb down towards
the beach yesterday, and as I was walking, I had Delilah,
(08:13):
my dog, and she stopped to do a poop, which.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
She does out in the front of someone's house. And
as she pooped, and this is the only.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Reason I saw it. As she pooped, I saw like
there was like a driveway.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
And then there were these two big, beautiful like columns
like posts out of the front of the driveway, and
there was someone had obviously dropped their wallet and it
was on the post. So like someone had dropped their
wallet and some other Samaritans obviously picked it up and
put it on the post.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Ye right, Okay, so it's just sitting there, Yeah, beautiful
leather wallet. So I opened it up and it had
unfortunately no cash, but I had jokes. But he had
a license from Byron Bay, and I was like, oh,
someone's obviously here traveling. It was like a young looking guy.
It's like someone's lost it.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Like the worst when you drop a wallet on a
night out or any time, like your whole life is
ruined because everything linked to it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
They can you have to cancel cards, especially when you're
not local, and you can't just go and pop it
in their letterbox exactly because I was like, I'll drop
it off to them, barn Bass, I was like, oh,
so anyway, I thought, you know what, let's test the
power of social media.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
So I took a photo of his license and I
obviously blocked out all the crucial information like the address
and the date of birth and license number, but I
had his photo in his name because I had tried
to find him on Instagram and it wouldn't come up
like I just type his name in.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So I was like, hey, guys, what are the odds?
Who knows who this is? If you know him, to
contact me, if you've seen him, let me know. Blah
blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I saw this.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, I mean, once again, good Samaritan.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It happened so quickly I cannot tell you how many
people somehow knew who this was, Like connections, connections, this
is my.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Mate, I know him he's a friend of my friend.
Like it was like one of those crime scenes with
all the stream it goes.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
To the name.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
So were people just like messaging you in your DM
say yeah, this is the person and then tagging him
so that you could find his profile. Yes, But then
I got a message from him and it was like, hey,
so many people have forwarded me this. Thank Like I
cannot thank you enough for this.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I'm on the phone to the police like this is
a nightmare, Like it was such a disaster, and I
was like so chuffed. I was like, yeah, it's like
I'm so stoked. Most people would steal and I was like, well,
you didn't have any cash.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
But so I ended up getting his number and I
was like, tell me where you live and I dropped
it back to him.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
So I feel like and he was like, I can't
thank you enough, Like I've been having a really bad
time lately and this was really going to ruin my day.
So yeah, so I did a great thing. Don't want
to brag, but b the power of social media is amazing.
I mean, you only ever hear the negative stories from
social media. I feel like this is a rare case
where it's used for good. But they exist, don't they.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Well, we have tracked him down. His name is Jack.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
What do you mean you tracked him down?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
We found him through the power of social media.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
No, we knew about this story, Briut. You share it
all on socials. But then also Jack messaged us and
there's actually a little bit more to.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
The story, joins us. Now, Jack, welcome to the pickup mate. Hello,
what's your side the story?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Hang on? What is this the real Jacker?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
An actor?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
No, it's the real Jack Jack check Jack from bar
and Bay.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Hi, guys, thank you. I get a message from a
friend from Newcastle who haven't talked to you in years,
and he said, oh do you it's you. This is
your wallet, you lost your wallet. And then I get
a photo of story and it's my wallet with my
with my license and the photo of myself. But I
was when I was eighteen, my ID and I'm like, yes,
(11:30):
I was so happy to find it, Like I was
so thankful she gave it to me. That What she
didn't tell you is that it was actually on my
driveway hunt, like five meters from my front door. So
if I'd retraced my steps, I probably would have found it.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I mean, you definitely would have found it. I'm also
guessing it was like down the driveway. Jackumine so ungrateful.
I can't believe you just outed me after returning your wallet.
But I guess the thing is I didn't have to
return it, but I did. Yeah, you're a good person.
I'm glad that you opened it fleeced it for any
cash that was in there. Jack wouldn't remember anyway. It's
so funny. I did say to Jack, and I was like,
just a heads up, Like before I got there, there
(12:08):
was nothing in it.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I didn't know. I didn't mean to take it from
his house. It was only when I returned it.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I've done it before with the dog.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I took a dog from someone's lawn one thinking I
was saving it, and when I returned it, I was like,
oh my god, Teresa.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You took it out of their backyard at a block gain.
You're like, I don't know how I got here it
from their Kennon.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Ladies. I haven't told you this story yet, but I
spoke about Brad, the guy that i'm seeing. Brad it's
a fake name.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
You know.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I'd never date an actual Brad, but I'm dating a guys.
But it's nice. It's been a couple of months. It's
like situationship vibes, and the crux at the issue of
this relationship is it's that Brad hasn't met my family yet,
because I don't want to bring someone home at the moment.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You're not ready. You're not exclusive, so like you don't
want to introduce him to your parents and then have
to meet you know, makes it a bit more serious,
and it's.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Heading that way. It's nice, but I don't want to
do it yet.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I know you're not exclusive.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
He does, now, that's what I was thinking. Now anyway,
So Break came over after work the other day. My
sister was home right, and my sister was upstairs. The
way where I live, it's a downstairs side entrance to
the house, so Bread can come and go. It doesn't
have to see the family, so it was kind of perfect.
And they don't even know he's there exactly. He doesn't
know Brad was over, so he said come after work.
He arrived, I said, hi, he goes, Hey, I'd kill
(13:22):
for a shower. I've just I've just had a shift, Like,
no worries a down stairs, I say, I've just had
a ship, like I.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Just had a poop. Can I need a shower?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Well, it's really what I thought. That's why we're not exclusive.
It's just he goes, I've had a ship. I go
go have a shower. And I share this downstairs area
with my sister Rachel. So rachels upstairs watching TV. He
goes in the shower, water comes on. I can hear
at the door closes one of those bathrooms where the
shower is separate to the basin. They're in different rooms.
So as I there, I go to get him a
(13:57):
towel and I put it on my bed and go.
He'll message me when and he's done. I here, Rachel,
my sister come downstairs because it's nighttime. He's come over
at night. Rachel, my sister has decided it's time to
do her skincare routine, which is right outside the shower
that Brad is currently in.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
So does she currently think that it's you in the shower?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yeah, because I'm in my bedroom. Brad texts me and goes,
who's outside? Is that you outside? I go, no, it's
not me outside, it's Rachel. Just give it two seconds.
She'll do it. She'll do what she needs to do.
She'll run back upstairs. Rachel is twenty four. She's a
TikTok girls. She's in there, go assuring with a jade roller.
It's called Yeah, she'sing. She puts her four different serums on.
(14:40):
She decides to do a hair mask.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
It's time for omni LUs. She's got a fifteen minute
treatment in there, like a face massage, doing everything.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Brad messages me. He's like, hey, it's been like five minutes,
Like can I come out. I'm like no, she's still
in there, just like give it a couple more minutes.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Don't have to step two.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, exactly. Then she decides she needs to do an
led face mask.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Oh, and you can't even go and say to her
that she needs hurry up, because then she'll know that
he's in the shower.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
He thinks it's me in there, so I can't it's
a boy, but she yes, I can't run out.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Does she thinks you're doing in there?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Problem is Brad also didn't have a towel, So poor Brad.
He's in there shivering. Then I get a text and
he goes, hey, the heat lamp doesn't work. So he's
in there at ten thirty at night, shivering. His body
doesn't have a towel, he's dripping wet over bar.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
You can't, So why don't you just get back in
the shower, Just turn it back on, stay in their
hot water.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Absolutely not use my water, dare that would end.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It right there on that Yeah, Michelle Cherry would be downstairs.
Y're like, get out of the shower.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Then I hear Rachel start the blow dryer up. So
the blow dryer is one?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah, so is he still in the shower.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
He still has He's still in the shower. He hasn't left.
After thirty five minutes, Rachel ran upstairs and I had
to get him one of those like alfoil blankets up
for a car crash and just hold him for an hour.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Means you are a horrible fake situationship boyfriend. That is horrible.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
You cannot leave your partner shivering to death in the
shower alone because you don't want to say to your sister, Hey,
like my guy, I'm seeing he's in the shower.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
It's out of respect. We haven't had that conversation yet.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Wait, respect for who for you? My personal respect, it's
personal respect for myself. You have to tell your family
it doesn't you live at home, so like it's it
doesn't mean it's going to the next Stepen's official, But
you can't just keep smuggling someone in your duffel bag
and then leave them in the shower. So how would
your parents feel if they knew that you were sneaking
him in? Because they don't know that this is happening.
I mean they might now, but how would they feel if, like,
(16:26):
on a Thursday night, there's actually a boy downstairs and
they had no idea.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
The thing is, it wouldn't be a problem with the family,
they love all that, but they would want to go
and talk to him and have a bottle of wine
with him, and then you know, they want to it'd
be a connection straight away. So that's what I don't
want to That's why I want to do it.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
You don't want to connect for you totally?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
No, Well, we've been connecting for you.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, but yeah, connecting passing guy. Yeeah, I understand. I
feel like you need to start playing the away game.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Parents. You may have seen this. It's breaking news around
the world. Stats have been released out of the US.
A third of Americans have revealed that they believe they
would be the sole survivor in the apocalypse. Yeah, third, that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Is pretty high. But the thing is everyone thinks that
they could do it totally, but the reality is most
of us can't.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
We thirty four percent of Americans. I believe it's a
god complex. Americans think that they are the underdog, is
what they said. The word underdog was used by fifty
four percent of participants in this study.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
That's a lot of people considering there's only one that's
going to survive.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
One hundred percent. They're all idiots, They're all going to die.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Why can't they be like a small little community.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Like a third. It's just one person, and thirty four
percent believe they are going to be that one person survived.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Firstly, that's dumb, because you need two people so you
can procreate and start the world.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
To get Well. Here's that. Here's the thing I continued
reading in this article. Ninety percent believed they needed to
create their ideal survival team, which is a team of
people that they'd banned together with in the apocalypse to live.
Number one most chosen person to be in this Bible
team is Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Forty three percent of
people chose the Rock.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, it makes sense. It makes sense.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I think he's too heavily leaning one way in terms
of I think you need a bit of everything.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I think he can't run that fast because he's got
too much weight.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah, and he run he has no protein, So would
wither away to just be the pebble?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
You know who i'd want? Maybe like mcguiver. I know
he's a fictional character, but he was number five on
the list.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
You know true, It's true, God he was.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I want beer grills. Well, that's who I want.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I agree. What I've done is if we're in the apocalypse,
we'd be in Australia. So I'm compiling my top three least.
Richard Wilkins will be number one, just because you like
Richard Wilkins. He's always around number one, Number two, doctor Carl.
For science purposes, I've got one spot left in my
survival team. Oh take me, Britt and Laura, I'll okay
(18:51):
out of YouTube. Who do you think would survive the
apocalypse longer?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Who do you think would survive? I know my answer.
I am the I am the third percent.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Sound the one off.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
One in three on the one in three. It's not
one in me three on the third I'm going to survive. Yes,
I think you've got your.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Laura, you're not helping your case me. Okay, it's neat.
I've come up with some apocalypse them questions. Answer them
to the best of your ability. This will determine if
you're going to be with me Richard and doctor Carr. Okay.
Question number one, do either of you have any resourcing
or scavenging skills?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Absolutely? Yes, I have heaps. I am a mother, so
I constantly do scavenger hunts. Every Easter, scavenger hunt. Halloween
there was a scavenger hunt. I'm all about them. You
need to be.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Wait, so you think to keep me entertained, you need
to you need to hide my meals.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I may have.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Treat to doctor Carl's foot somewhere in this border. Go
find next question. But I believe you. I believe you.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm better. I think it's established I'm better at that line.
I think it doesn't even need my answer.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
I thinking not Laura Wine in that department. Next, Are
you kidding me? Do you know you've got the next one? Relaxed?
Do you have any app one? Do you have any
medical skills?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I've got everything. I am so.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Skilled medical skills, thirteen years.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
In an emergency department, working all around the world, resuscitated people.
I've sewn up my sister's wounding her head in the
Amazon jungle. I have done it all.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Wow, that's prettyird.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Look, I know you feel very protective over this because
you have studied, But I've done the CPR course for
around the pool, I've got Hellen safety.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yeah, because when the zombies are chasing is we're going
to want to sit by a pool and oh okay,
laurie're doing really well. Question three, what would your weapon
of choice be, britt Laura? To defend yourself and defend me?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Oh so jupid Brittany a stick?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Okay, good.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
My weapon of choice would actually be myself because it's
highly likely that you I'm not going you are not
going to have objects at your disposal. You need someone
that knows how to use what they can whatever they
can find, and their own skills, and that is me
quote unquote.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
All I'm hearing now is BRIT's like I'm a weapon.
That's what I'm hearing my head, Laura.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Final pitch, Final p go back to the pool. Final pitch.
Why would you survive in the apocalypse Britt over Laura.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I would survive over Laura because I am physically stronger,
I am faster, I have the medical skills. I have
survived off the jungle in the Amazon jungle, I have
traveled the world I have been in I have a
black belt in taekwondo, so martial arts trained.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
All right, I feel like I do pretty good because
I'm a mom and I already keep two kids alive.
So if I can keep them alive, I reckon I
could keep myself and I could keep you and doctor
Carla live too.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I'm choosing Laura. Sorry, I'm choosing you, Laura.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
But I'm really good with human fecings and stuff. Rest
in peace, both of you, suckers, because you're gonna last.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
About twenty seconds.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
To be fair, Britte, I think that that was a
very uneven fight. I'm pathetic, and I should not be.
I'll be the first out in an apocalypse.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
We're okay with that.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
You would be our savior because as we're running, you
would trip over and they would eat you along the way,
So like there's nothing to live for. It's an apocalypse.
Who wants to be alive anyway?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Also, Mitch and I procreating will start the one such
a dumb hypothetical. Have sleep at me here, I'd be
dead night once where I going to plug that machine?
Speaker 4 (22:13):
In?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Two? He did.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Guys, I got the surprise of my lifetime. I was
going about my business, my fertility business, because I was
doing my egg freezing and I was at the depths
of my despair. I had two weeks of hormones built
up in me.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And Ben, my partner, all the way from Scotland, decided
to surprise me in Australia.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Iturned Did he just come for the weekend like he
flew in from Scotland for the weekend. Yeah, so he
Well he came for three days, which it's a long
way to come. It's twenty four hours. We haven't seen
each other in months, and I was about to go
through the fertility procedure. So he wanted, I mean, bless
his soul, he wanted to be here because last time
it didn't go well. You know, last time was a
bit of a disaster for us.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
That is almost twenty four hours in the air times two.
He was almost in the air as long as he
was here.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Absolutely he was. But it's what happened when he was here.
That was so funny.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
And this is only this trip was only his third
time in Australia. So I have been there six seven
times and he's only been able to make it twice
before now.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
And as you guys know, he's absolutely petrified of the
Australian wildlife. Okah, the last time he was here, he
was scared of the snakes and everyone. To be fair,
we brought a giant python in and put over his
We did very good sport, but he was scared. But
like every foreigner, I think you have this idea of
what Australia is, right, like you have an idea the crocodiles,
or walking down the street the main street and a
(23:37):
funnel web will drop onto your face when you're sleeping, Like.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
I really perpetuate that whole thing. We make it, make
it big.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
But we never see it, right, like as Australians that
live here, generally speaking in the cities, like of course
far North Queensland, but like we don't see these killer animals. Anyway.
I walked in on him in my bedroom and I
saw what he was doing, and I popped my head
back and I was like, I need to film this
because it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Have a lisit. What are you doing him?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Making sure you don't have any more Huntsmans and you don't.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Have proper tape, So what is this con Nearly there,
like the beaver building is dumb. Nearly there woman wondering
why if he has huntsmens when there's a two inch
gap next to my head where I sleep, as this
is my side of the bed, like four knocks glad rappetition.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I think that's enough.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
You can never be too careful with this.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
So I walked in on him, and there's this tiny
little hole in my fly screen outside like who cares?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
It's been there forever, Like I don't care, It doesn't
bother me. He had clocked that it was above his head,
and he had imagined that this was just a thoroughfare
for like highway for spiders. So he got glad, a.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
So glad wrap from the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
He got glad right from the kitchen door draw, and
then he got just like tape that you would wrap
a present with, like really thin tape that you would
not use to build a fort knox, and he started
to tape up.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
My entire window has been glad wrapped. He glad wrapped
the window to make sure that the spiders couldn't get in.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
This is so dumb. I'm glad you said that. You
said that, not me. Anyway, I had this big I
was like, bless his soul. Let him, you know, protect me,
protect his woman. So that's what he was doing. Yeah,
And then I had to have a chat to him,
and I.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Was like, just so you know, this stuff happens few
and far between, Like I know that you think, being
from Switzerland and you only have cows with bells on them,
I know you think that there's all these killer animals.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And I talked to him for.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Ages to get him comfortable because he walks into a
room I'm not exaggerating, and look, he checks it.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Most people check it for guns or people hiding under
the bed. He checks it if there's any little spiders.
Like you know when you walk in in an FBI
movie and they're like sussing the room. He does it
for spiders. It's big, brave man, so wait for it.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I finally get him comfortable and get him on board,
and then we go to the beach for the first time.
Like he steps his foot on the sand, the water
is crystal clear.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
It's beautiful. It's like a bay. We walk in. He's
three feet in, screams, looks down. He has stepped smack
being in the middle of a giant sting ray.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I cannot make this up. I have spent my entire
life in the ocean. I have never even seen the
sting ray.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
He's stepped on it. Do you know what this is?
This is manifestation. He did this to himself, and he
only has himself to blame. So now he thinks I'm lying.
I'm trying to put him in the face of danger.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Now he's going to walk to the beach with ol
foil wrapped on his feet.
Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
pay our respect to their elders past and present and
extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander
peoples today.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, I'm Mitch. I'm Mitch.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hello, I'm really good.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Hi guys. This is the pickup. This is where we
package up the best of our radio show and can
give it you in one nice.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Little spot on a Sunday, A spicy little morsel. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
It's like where we definitely do the best off, like
we shave it off. Yeah, I mean, if you listen
to it live, it's not all the bits. But anyway, Okay,
So on the radio show this week, I told a
story which may discust you and may also make you think,
may make you think less of Matt, and that's okay.
I'm fine with it. I've told him that I was
talking about it. Yeah, it's problematic. Yeah, so he has
(01:00):
decided that we should take a new technique with disciplining
our children, right, that whatever they do, we should do
to them. And now I don't mean everything, because I
you know, sometimes kids hit and they behave badly, but
like the small stuff, if they do things that we
don't like, then we should show them that it's not
a very nice thing to experience by doing it back
to them.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Can he learn this on a podcast or a book
or something.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
No, I don't think Matt has ever read a parenting book,
considering he does a very good job, but kind of
like monkey see monkey do right, So if they do it, then,
oh no, I don't think that is eye for an eye.
Maybe he's probably a better saying, to be honest, you.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Just it's kind of like when pulls the kettle black, the.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Apple never falls far from the tree. But let me
tell you, actually that saying does relate in this instance.
I hate myself so much right now because I couldn't
even think of a saying in my head. I wanted
to join in that band, turn I couldn't. I could
see that that was like thinking of saying sounds like
I don't have one. BRIT's eyes displazed over and she
was like up a pipe in the drain pipe drink
(01:57):
all right, okay, so basically what happened in our house.
Told is that Matt farted on Mali, and I'll explain
the details surrounding that. She was very upset, so disgusting.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, I can't more for it. It's funny. Yeah, I
like that family.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Stay also fart on Laura's children.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I would never far on Marli, not just too young
for it. Mona real potent. She would not like Marly
would be unwell for a week, but she'd pull through.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
If you farted on me, Mitch, I would chop your
hair off.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
When I lived in your house, I ruined that toilet.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, I know you did. You left it in there.
It was skitty central. Started on your pillows. It was
skitty central.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
No, I say to Brits. She goes hi like, please
clean my bed sheets. And I didn't even sleep in
her bed like I sat on it once.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You slept in there with a lover, you had sex
in there. Yeah, that's okay. Let's stop bringing out the past.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Good point. Bring on the future.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, let's look forward to the future.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I agree. This week on the show, speaking of my lover.
I invited one of many over to my house, even
got one. I've got one. My roster is it's dwindling.
My parents haven't met him, and then they almost did.
They almost did butt naked. You got to hear this.
It's shocking. He's gorgeous but naked, like my dad got
fist but me.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But oh please, don't talk about fisting. And I said,
my dad had fist, but there was no You said,
sneaked and then fist and I heard it in a
very short my dad would fist but me.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
My dad would fished me in front of him. Is
what you thought? I said?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
He said, your dad him in front of me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
And then with the bumping happening.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
This has taken it really dark.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Anyway, that's what's on the show, not the fisting, but
the story.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Okay, well I told you you guys, speaking of fist,
speaking of fist. Ben came. Ben, my partner, surprised me
and he came to Australia, which is absolutely beautiful.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
But it was something something I caught him doing while
I was here. I caught him to him something in
my room that has literally made my year. I have
never laughed so hard and I'm going to tell you
about it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
All right, Well, all of that and you know some
other very funny parts come and write up. So Matt,
my beautiful partner, he has a new parenting technique which
I don't think I agree with. And now, look, I
agree with a lot of the things that he does.
I think we're very much on the same page when
it comes to how we raise our girls. But this
is something that I don't really and can't get behind.
(04:21):
So Matt has said recently that if the best way
to kind of show a kid that they shouldn't do
or behave in the way that they're behaving is to
do it back to them. So if they're being mean
or they're like whatever it is that they're doing, but
if they're doing something that's mean on repetition, doing that
behavior back to them shows them that it's not nice
because the kids will then experience it themselves and then
(04:42):
they'll you know, consider maybe they shouldn't or they should
kind of you know, change their behavior.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Dicine, Yeah, old, how.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Does that feel? Not nice? Is it exactly right? So
this played out recently in our household. Mollie May was
sitting Mally May's for she was sitting on Matt's lap
and they were like playing it game, and then she
farted on him and then started laughing and ran away.
And now look, I I mean, it was disgusting. She
shouldn't fart on a dad. She thought it was very funny,
(05:10):
like she intentionally did, like oh yeah, yeah, like she'd
stored it up. And then it was like no, no,
not even remotely. She like aimed and fired straight out
of dad. Half an hour passes and Marley and I
are having a cuddle on the couch and Matt walks
over and he farted on our four year old. Oh no, can.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
You put his bad Where was it passed?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
He rolled very close to her and he farted on
her legs. Yep, and then he ran away laughing, and
she started crying and now looks from the stand and
not laughing. I don't think this is funny, Okay.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I think it's terrible because you're in the Yes.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
He's disgusting, And I'm sure someone's going to be like,
that's not fair. You can't do that to children.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Somebody saved them.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
But look, on one hand, yes, I think it was
a very effective way of teaching her that it's not
nice to fart on people. But on the other hand,
I don't think that this can be the benchmark for
how we parent our children.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
I'm not opposed to like teaching a kid like you
know that doesn't feel nice, doesn't like if they pull
someone's hair, give them a little tug, doesn't hurt like.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I'm not opposed to that. But the thing I find
funny here, Laura, is your opinion on this, right, So
you're really against matt coming and farting, and you're like,
you can't do that. It's disgusting fight on a four
year old.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Do you remember on the show, Laura talking about what
she thinks about faring.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Back to me, Yeah, I can smell the hypocrisy or
did you just let one out because probably.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Both a couple of hypocrisy? Or is fluffy off the chair?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You know a couple of weeks on the show Ago, Laura,
you said this.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Don't fight on them because I know you and Mattie
before anything, you and your husband Mammy Jay, Laura, you
are farting machines. They walk around the house. It's a
game who can farting? And they have italies. They fart
on each other. They on each other here, Okay, I
don't fight on he backed up into you. Sometimes he
will like reverse into me and pretend like because he
(07:08):
does this as like a nice affectionate thing as well,
he gets my arms and he wraps my arms around him,
will have a cuddle. But every so often he'll do
it and he'll actually just fin in my lap because
he's revols. It's discussed. So what do you think the
kids are going to do if they see their parents
think it's funny to fight on each other. I think
they were setting a very bad example. But I stand
by this. Farts are funny. They are funny. It is funny.
(07:31):
You should not do it on your child.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
This is just opening up a can of worms that
I don't think we needed our household.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
This is teaching me so much about parenting. It's it
just flip flop based on what's funny. You just pick
and choose.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
This is how you should behave except for if it's funny,
and then that's fine.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
At the end of the day, Matt needs to stop
fighting on his kids. Matt needs to stop funing on everyone.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I completely agree. Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
And if you're listening to this and you come from
Child Services. The kids are, I swear they're fine. I reckon.
I am in for a pretty good Chris. And the
reason I say that is I'm a big believer in karma,
and yesterday I just did like the deed of all deeds.
So I was just walking in my suburb down towards
the beach yesterday, and as I was walking, I had Delilah,
(08:13):
my dog, and she stopped to do a poop, which.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
She does out in the front of someone's house. And
as she pooped, and this is the only.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Reason I saw it. As she pooped, I saw like
there was like a driveway.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
And then there were these two big, beautiful like columns
like posts out of the front of the driveway, and
there was someone had obviously dropped their wallet and it
was on the post. So like someone had dropped their
wallet and some other Samaritans obviously picked it up and
put it on the post.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Ye right, Okay, so it's just sitting there, Yeah, beautiful
leather wallet. So I opened it up and it had
unfortunately no cash, but I had jokes. But he had
a license from Byron Bay, and I was like, oh,
someone's obviously here traveling. It was like a young looking guy.
It's like someone's lost it.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Like the worst when you drop a wallet on a
night out or any time, like your whole life is
ruined because everything linked to it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
They can you have to cancel cards, especially when you're
not local, and you can't just go and pop it
in their letterbox exactly because I was like, I'll drop
it off to them, barn Bass, I was like, oh,
so anyway, I thought, you know what, let's test the
power of social media.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
So I took a photo of his license and I
obviously blocked out all the crucial information like the address
and the date of birth and license number, but I
had his photo in his name because I had tried
to find him on Instagram and it wouldn't come up
like I just type his name in.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So I was like, hey, guys, what are the odds?
Who knows who this is? If you know him, to
contact me, if you've seen him, let me know. Blah
blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I saw this.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, I mean, once again, good Samaritan.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It happened so quickly I cannot tell you how many
people somehow knew who this was, Like connections, connections, this
is my.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Mate, I know him he's a friend of my friend.
Like it was like one of those crime scenes with
all the stream it goes.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
To the name.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
So were people just like messaging you in your DM
say yeah, this is the person and then tagging him
so that you could find his profile. Yes, But then
I got a message from him and it was like, hey,
so many people have forwarded me this. Thank Like I
cannot thank you enough for this.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I'm on the phone to the police like this is
a nightmare, Like it was such a disaster, and I
was like so chuffed. I was like, yeah, it's like
I'm so stoked. Most people would steal and I was like, well,
you didn't have any cash.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
But so I ended up getting his number and I
was like, tell me where you live and I dropped
it back to him.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
So I feel like and he was like, I can't
thank you enough, Like I've been having a really bad
time lately and this was really going to ruin my day.
So yeah, so I did a great thing. Don't want
to brag, but b the power of social media is amazing.
I mean, you only ever hear the negative stories from
social media. I feel like this is a rare case
where it's used for good. But they exist, don't they.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Well, we have tracked him down. His name is Jack.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
What do you mean you tracked him down?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
We found him through the power of social media.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
No, we knew about this story, Briut. You share it
all on socials. But then also Jack messaged us and
there's actually a little bit more to.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
The story, joins us. Now, Jack, welcome to the pickup mate. Hello,
what's your side the story?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Hang on? What is this the real Jacker?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
An actor?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
No, it's the real Jack Jack check Jack from bar
and Bay.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Hi, guys, thank you. I get a message from a
friend from Newcastle who haven't talked to you in years,
and he said, oh do you it's you. This is
your wallet, you lost your wallet. And then I get
a photo of story and it's my wallet with my
with my license and the photo of myself. But I
was when I was eighteen, my ID and I'm like, yes,
(11:30):
I was so happy to find it, Like I was
so thankful she gave it to me. That What she
didn't tell you is that it was actually on my
driveway hunt, like five meters from my front door. So
if I'd retraced my steps, I probably would have found it.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I mean, you definitely would have found it. I'm also
guessing it was like down the driveway. Jackumine so ungrateful.
I can't believe you just outed me after returning your wallet.
But I guess the thing is I didn't have to
return it, but I did. Yeah, you're a good person.
I'm glad that you opened it fleeced it for any
cash that was in there. Jack wouldn't remember anyway. It's
so funny. I did say to Jack, and I was like,
just a heads up, Like before I got there, there
(12:08):
was nothing in it.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I didn't know. I didn't mean to take it from
his house. It was only when I returned it.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I've done it before with the dog.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I took a dog from someone's lawn one thinking I
was saving it, and when I returned it, I was like,
oh my god, Teresa.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You took it out of their backyard at a block gain.
You're like, I don't know how I got here it
from their Kennon.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Ladies. I haven't told you this story yet, but I
spoke about Brad, the guy that i'm seeing. Brad it's
a fake name.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
You know.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I'd never date an actual Brad, but I'm dating a guys.
But it's nice. It's been a couple of months. It's
like situationship vibes, and the crux at the issue of
this relationship is it's that Brad hasn't met my family yet,
because I don't want to bring someone home at the moment.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You're not ready. You're not exclusive, so like you don't
want to introduce him to your parents and then have
to meet you know, makes it a bit more serious,
and it's.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Heading that way. It's nice, but I don't want to
do it yet.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I know you're not exclusive.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
He does, now, that's what I was thinking. Now anyway,
So Break came over after work the other day. My
sister was home right, and my sister was upstairs. The
way where I live, it's a downstairs side entrance to
the house, so Bread can come and go. It doesn't
have to see the family, so it was kind of perfect.
And they don't even know he's there exactly. He doesn't
know Brad was over, so he said come after work.
He arrived, I said, hi, he goes, Hey, I'd kill
(13:22):
for a shower. I've just I've just had a shift, Like,
no worries a down stairs, I say, I've just had
a ship, like I.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Just had a poop. Can I need a shower?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Well, it's really what I thought. That's why we're not exclusive.
It's just he goes, I've had a ship. I go
go have a shower. And I share this downstairs area
with my sister Rachel. So rachels upstairs watching TV. He
goes in the shower, water comes on. I can hear
at the door closes one of those bathrooms where the
shower is separate to the basin. They're in different rooms.
So as I there, I go to get him a
(13:57):
towel and I put it on my bed and go.
He'll message me when and he's done. I here, Rachel,
my sister come downstairs because it's nighttime. He's come over
at night. Rachel, my sister has decided it's time to
do her skincare routine, which is right outside the shower
that Brad is currently in.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
So does she currently think that it's you in the shower?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yeah, because I'm in my bedroom. Brad texts me and goes,
who's outside? Is that you outside? I go, no, it's
not me outside, it's Rachel. Just give it two seconds.
She'll do it. She'll do what she needs to do.
She'll run back upstairs. Rachel is twenty four. She's a
TikTok girls. She's in there, go assuring with a jade roller.
It's called Yeah, she'sing. She puts her four different serums on.
(14:40):
She decides to do a hair mask.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
It's time for omni LUs. She's got a fifteen minute
treatment in there, like a face massage, doing everything.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Brad messages me. He's like, hey, it's been like five minutes,
Like can I come out. I'm like no, she's still
in there, just like give it a couple more minutes.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Don't have to step two.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, exactly. Then she decides she needs to do an
led face mask.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Oh, and you can't even go and say to her
that she needs hurry up, because then she'll know that
he's in the shower.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
He thinks it's me in there, so I can't it's
a boy, but she yes, I can't run out.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Does she thinks you're doing in there?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Problem is Brad also didn't have a towel, So poor Brad.
He's in there shivering. Then I get a text and
he goes, hey, the heat lamp doesn't work. So he's
in there at ten thirty at night, shivering. His body
doesn't have a towel, he's dripping wet over bar.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
You can't, So why don't you just get back in
the shower, Just turn it back on, stay in their
hot water.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Absolutely not use my water, dare that would end.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It right there on that Yeah, Michelle Cherry would be downstairs.
Y're like, get out of the shower.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Then I hear Rachel start the blow dryer up. So
the blow dryer is one?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah, so is he still in the shower.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
He still has He's still in the shower. He hasn't left.
After thirty five minutes, Rachel ran upstairs and I had
to get him one of those like alfoil blankets up
for a car crash and just hold him for an hour.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Means you are a horrible fake situationship boyfriend. That is horrible.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
You cannot leave your partner shivering to death in the
shower alone because you don't want to say to your sister, Hey,
like my guy, I'm seeing he's in the shower.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
It's out of respect. We haven't had that conversation yet.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Wait, respect for who for you? My personal respect, it's
personal respect for myself. You have to tell your family
it doesn't you live at home, so like it's it
doesn't mean it's going to the next Stepen's official, But
you can't just keep smuggling someone in your duffel bag
and then leave them in the shower. So how would
your parents feel if they knew that you were sneaking
him in? Because they don't know that this is happening.
I mean they might now, but how would they feel if, like,
(16:26):
on a Thursday night, there's actually a boy downstairs and
they had no idea.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
The thing is, it wouldn't be a problem with the family,
they love all that, but they would want to go
and talk to him and have a bottle of wine
with him, and then you know, they want to it'd
be a connection straight away. So that's what I don't
want to That's why I want to do it.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
You don't want to connect for you totally?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
No, Well, we've been connecting for you.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, but yeah, connecting passing guy. Yeeah, I understand. I
feel like you need to start playing the away game.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Parents. You may have seen this. It's breaking news around
the world. Stats have been released out of the US.
A third of Americans have revealed that they believe they
would be the sole survivor in the apocalypse. Yeah, third, that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Is pretty high. But the thing is everyone thinks that
they could do it totally, but the reality is most
of us can't.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
We thirty four percent of Americans. I believe it's a
god complex. Americans think that they are the underdog, is
what they said. The word underdog was used by fifty
four percent of participants in this study.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
That's a lot of people considering there's only one that's
going to survive.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
One hundred percent. They're all idiots, They're all going to die.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Why can't they be like a small little community.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Like a third. It's just one person, and thirty four
percent believe they are going to be that one person survived.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Firstly, that's dumb, because you need two people so you
can procreate and start the world.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
To get Well. Here's that. Here's the thing I continued
reading in this article. Ninety percent believed they needed to
create their ideal survival team, which is a team of
people that they'd banned together with in the apocalypse to live.
Number one most chosen person to be in this Bible
team is Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Forty three percent of
people chose the Rock.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, it makes sense. It makes sense.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I think he's too heavily leaning one way in terms
of I think you need a bit of everything.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I think he can't run that fast because he's got
too much weight.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah, and he run he has no protein, So would
wither away to just be the pebble?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
You know who i'd want? Maybe like mcguiver. I know
he's a fictional character, but he was number five on
the list.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
You know true, It's true, God he was.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I want beer grills. Well, that's who I want.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I agree. What I've done is if we're in the apocalypse,
we'd be in Australia. So I'm compiling my top three least.
Richard Wilkins will be number one, just because you like
Richard Wilkins. He's always around number one, Number two, doctor Carl.
For science purposes, I've got one spot left in my
survival team. Oh take me, Britt and Laura, I'll okay
(18:51):
out of YouTube. Who do you think would survive the
apocalypse longer?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Who do you think would survive? I know my answer.
I am the I am the third percent.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Sound the one off.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
One in three on the one in three. It's not
one in me three on the third I'm going to survive. Yes,
I think you've got your.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Laura, you're not helping your case me. Okay, it's neat.
I've come up with some apocalypse them questions. Answer them
to the best of your ability. This will determine if
you're going to be with me Richard and doctor Carr. Okay.
Question number one, do either of you have any resourcing
or scavenging skills?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Absolutely? Yes, I have heaps. I am a mother, so
I constantly do scavenger hunts. Every Easter, scavenger hunt. Halloween
there was a scavenger hunt. I'm all about them. You
need to be.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Wait, so you think to keep me entertained, you need
to you need to hide my meals.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I may have.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Treat to doctor Carl's foot somewhere in this border. Go
find next question. But I believe you. I believe you.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm better. I think it's established I'm better at that line.
I think it doesn't even need my answer.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
I thinking not Laura Wine in that department. Next, Are
you kidding me? Do you know you've got the next one? Relaxed?
Do you have any app one? Do you have any
medical skills?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I've got everything. I am so.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Skilled medical skills, thirteen years.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
In an emergency department, working all around the world, resuscitated people.
I've sewn up my sister's wounding her head in the
Amazon jungle. I have done it all.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Wow, that's prettyird.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Look, I know you feel very protective over this because
you have studied, But I've done the CPR course for
around the pool, I've got Hellen safety.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yeah, because when the zombies are chasing is we're going
to want to sit by a pool and oh okay,
laurie're doing really well. Question three, what would your weapon
of choice be, britt Laura? To defend yourself and defend me?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Oh so jupid Brittany a stick?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Okay, good.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
My weapon of choice would actually be myself because it's
highly likely that you I'm not going you are not
going to have objects at your disposal. You need someone
that knows how to use what they can whatever they
can find, and their own skills, and that is me
quote unquote.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
All I'm hearing now is BRIT's like I'm a weapon.
That's what I'm hearing my head, Laura.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Final pitch, Final p go back to the pool. Final pitch.
Why would you survive in the apocalypse Britt over Laura.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I would survive over Laura because I am physically stronger,
I am faster, I have the medical skills. I have
survived off the jungle in the Amazon jungle, I have
traveled the world I have been in I have a
black belt in taekwondo, so martial arts trained.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
All right, I feel like I do pretty good because
I'm a mom and I already keep two kids alive.
So if I can keep them alive, I reckon I
could keep myself and I could keep you and doctor
Carla live too.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I'm choosing Laura. Sorry, I'm choosing you, Laura.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
But I'm really good with human fecings and stuff. Rest
in peace, both of you, suckers, because you're gonna last.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
About twenty seconds.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
To be fair, Britte, I think that that was a
very uneven fight. I'm pathetic, and I should not be.
I'll be the first out in an apocalypse.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
We're okay with that.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
You would be our savior because as we're running, you
would trip over and they would eat you along the way,
So like there's nothing to live for. It's an apocalypse.
Who wants to be alive anyway?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Also, Mitch and I procreating will start the one such
a dumb hypothetical. Have sleep at me here, I'd be
dead night once where I going to plug that machine?
Speaker 4 (22:13):
In?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Two? He did.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Guys, I got the surprise of my lifetime. I was
going about my business, my fertility business, because I was
doing my egg freezing and I was at the depths
of my despair. I had two weeks of hormones built
up in me.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And Ben, my partner, all the way from Scotland, decided
to surprise me in Australia.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Iturned Did he just come for the weekend like he
flew in from Scotland for the weekend. Yeah, so he
Well he came for three days, which it's a long
way to come. It's twenty four hours. We haven't seen
each other in months, and I was about to go
through the fertility procedure. So he wanted, I mean, bless
his soul, he wanted to be here because last time
it didn't go well. You know, last time was a
bit of a disaster for us.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
That is almost twenty four hours in the air times two.
He was almost in the air as long as he
was here.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Absolutely he was. But it's what happened when he was here.
That was so funny.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
And this is only this trip was only his third
time in Australia. So I have been there six seven
times and he's only been able to make it twice
before now.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
And as you guys know, he's absolutely petrified of the
Australian wildlife. Okah, the last time he was here, he
was scared of the snakes and everyone. To be fair,
we brought a giant python in and put over his
We did very good sport, but he was scared. But
like every foreigner, I think you have this idea of
what Australia is, right, like you have an idea the crocodiles,
or walking down the street the main street and a
(23:37):
funnel web will drop onto your face when you're sleeping, Like.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
I really perpetuate that whole thing. We make it, make
it big.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
But we never see it, right, like as Australians that
live here, generally speaking in the cities, like of course
far North Queensland, but like we don't see these killer animals. Anyway.
I walked in on him in my bedroom and I
saw what he was doing, and I popped my head
back and I was like, I need to film this
because it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Have a lisit. What are you doing him?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Making sure you don't have any more Huntsmans and you don't.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Have proper tape, So what is this con Nearly there,
like the beaver building is dumb. Nearly there woman wondering
why if he has huntsmens when there's a two inch
gap next to my head where I sleep, as this
is my side of the bed, like four knocks glad rappetition.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I think that's enough.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
You can never be too careful with this.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
So I walked in on him, and there's this tiny
little hole in my fly screen outside like who cares?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
It's been there forever, Like I don't care, It doesn't
bother me. He had clocked that it was above his head,
and he had imagined that this was just a thoroughfare
for like highway for spiders. So he got glad, a.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
So glad wrap from the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
He got glad right from the kitchen door draw, and
then he got just like tape that you would wrap
a present with, like really thin tape that you would
not use to build a fort knox, and he started
to tape up.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
My entire window has been glad wrapped. He glad wrapped
the window to make sure that the spiders couldn't get in.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
This is so dumb. I'm glad you said that. You
said that, not me. Anyway, I had this big I
was like, bless his soul. Let him, you know, protect me,
protect his woman. So that's what he was doing. Yeah,
And then I had to have a chat to him,
and I.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Was like, just so you know, this stuff happens few
and far between, Like I know that you think, being
from Switzerland and you only have cows with bells on them,
I know you think that there's all these killer animals.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And I talked to him for.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Ages to get him comfortable because he walks into a
room I'm not exaggerating, and look, he checks it.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Most people check it for guns or people hiding under
the bed. He checks it if there's any little spiders.
Like you know when you walk in in an FBI
movie and they're like sussing the room. He does it
for spiders. It's big, brave man, so wait for it.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I finally get him comfortable and get him on board,
and then we go to the beach for the first time.
Like he steps his foot on the sand, the water
is crystal clear.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
It's beautiful. It's like a bay. We walk in. He's
three feet in, screams, looks down. He has stepped smack
being in the middle of a giant sting ray.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I cannot make this up. I have spent my entire
life in the ocean. I have never even seen the
sting ray.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
He's stepped on it. Do you know what this is?
This is manifestation. He did this to himself, and he
only has himself to blame. So now he thinks I'm lying.
I'm trying to put him in the face of danger.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Now he's going to walk to the beach with ol
foil wrapped on his feet.
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